We Hate Movies - S4 Ep158: Hot Dog... The Movie

Episode Date: May 20, 2014

In this week's episode, the gang hits the slopes with the outrageous, irresponsible, hot dog free, Hot Dog... The Movie! Why are we touring so many motels before we get to the mountain resort? Who thought naming a Japanese character "Kamikaze" was a good/funny idea? And what's with the Duran Duran instrumental mix? PLUS: Nick Nolte, Nazi Hunter. Hot Dog... The Movie stars David Naughton, Patrick Houser, Tracy Smith, James Saito and Shannon Tweed; directed by Peter Markle. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

Hey, gang, we have some exciting news to tell you about available now. Hold on to your hat. Get that hat held on. It's going to fly off your hair. If you have a stets, two hands, if it's Stetson. Hats, bonnets, helmets, whatever you got on your head. Plug your earbuds into your ears. Make sure they don't go flying out.

Available now in iTunes, the Google Play Store, and the Amazon store. Our latest DVD commentary, our syncable DVD commentary on the film, Trekmenary nemesis available for sale this is crazy news because we recorded it so fucking long ago and it's about star trek and it's about star trek it is about it is listen there's a lot of star trek going on in this thing it i i don't want to exclude people but i'm very tempted to say for star trek fans only because we really nerd out on this commentary it's myself it's eric it's Steve, and we are trekking till the cows come home, but it is, it's the final Star Trek the next generation film. It's wretched. It's from 2002. You got Bain in there being terrible,

Tom Hardy. Nossarat, I mean, Ron Perlman. Oh, yeah. Yeah, Ron Perlman, who just looks like a big old Nospherat too bat monster in that movie. So, you know, people search Treckmentary Nemesis. Yes, Treckmentary Nemesis, but it's also under the artist's name we hate movies. So either way, you'll be able to find it. Amazon, Google. It was like a Jim Belushi saying. It's in that Google store. I'll listen to this. For once, they're not making fun of me.

They're making fun of that stupid Star Trek. I like to Google myself until a blue in the face. Google Play, why ain't you just my blues album? Why isn't it on there? Ready to go. Man, if I ran Google Play, I wouldn't play his fucking blues albums. But we have to know, but they should if Return of the Bruno's on there by Bruce Willis. Oh, great, great album, great artist.

Oh, okay actor. Okay, actor. Yeah, just an okay actor. Okay, I'm kind of a Bruce Willis fan for the music. Well, because now I kind of wish, because you see these Google Play ads all the time and there's, you know, Beck and Danny Brown are on them. And I just love one fucking Jim Bluchy's dumb fucking face on it. It's a suitcase full of blues. No, I think that was, uh, that was an actual.

Blues Brothers album. Oh, anyway, so there's Star Trek commentary that we put out. So the deal is, if you're not familiar with these, you know, you download the MP3, and then you start playing it, and we give you instructions as to how to sync it up to the DVD. Yeah, we hold your hand and tell you when to, you know,

hit it, let loose. It's to hit it. Yeah, exactly. And then for two hours, we just make fun of a wretched movie. So it's like watching a movie with us. It's obnoxious and loud and pig-ish and all sorts of great stuff. Oh, big on the pig. A lot of bad Patrick Stewart impressions going around.

There's a lot of us coming to Michael Dorn's defense for getting totally shafted at the end of this franchise's run. So anyway, trackmentary nemesis, available now. iTunes, Amazon store, and Google Play. And if you did not take your hat off, we cannot reimburse you. Yeah, sorry you lost that hat, but this was some big news. Hello, I'm Andrew Juppen. Eric Siska. Chris Gavin.

And we hate movies. Hello, Hello, everyone, welcome to we hate movies. Thank you for tuning in. As always, if you are new to the program, welcome to the first week. of a double week Memorial Day celebration. I think we really got to qualify

what we're doing here. Today we were talking about Hot Dog the movie from 1984. It's directed by a fellow named Peter Markle. Okay. And next week,

we'll just get it out of the way. We usually do hints. But, you know, it's Memorial Day. Celebrate it. A lot of people are going to be doing barbecue. So we thought hot dog and hamburgers.

So Hot Dog the movie this week. Hamburger the motion picture next week. Hamburger the motion picture, you guys. Directed by the guy who wrote Hot Dog the movie. Coincidence? I don't think so. Case for blaming on outer space? Maybe. I mean, we will definitely get to the bottom of Michael Barbecue in the not too distant future.

So first, we're here today. We're talking about Hot Dog the movie. This is a ski comedy from the 80s, so it's warm in my heart already. It's also, of course, because it's the 80s. we're skiing. It's a boob comedy. But this movie, this Hot Dog the Motion, or Hot Dog the Motion Picture, Hot Dog the movie, excuse me. Let me get that right. Hot Dog the movie may also be called Hot Dog the kind of

softcore pornography. Oh, and I don't know why you didn't just, man, the director, I don't know why he just didn't get on the ground floor of softcore pornography. 1980, this is 1984, yes? Yep. Right when it's in the swing. You could have gone in on the ground floor of Red Shoe Diaries. You really, he really could have built something from the ground up here. Instead, you release it as a ski comedy.

I mean, we're saying it's a soft core, a porno, because, I mean, there are just, whereas most 80s boob comedies, there's just some sexual hijinks. There's flat out, like, Bacchanal going on in this movie, man. It gets really gross. Much soft lighting. Like, ugh. And I just always, for this Memorial Day thing, this movie is called Hot Dog the movie, guess what's not in it? A hot dog. There's not one goddamn hot dog. A single hot dog. Does anyone say hot dog? I don't think so. I don't know. I mean, the whole thing is like we're showing off on the slope so you're hot dogging. Oh, okay. That's what it is. I was just asking, like, is this a boner reference? No, it's just we're doing. Are we boning out here? No, I wish we were boning out, dude. Give me, give me a dick or give me somebody eating a hot dog. I got none of it. I just got people doing tricks on the slopes. And it's not like this movie was like beyond like having some prank where they like,

fill some nerds dormitory with old hot dogs or some shit like they could have done something like this a hot dog eating contest that could have been the denou ma of this whole thing someone gets murdered with a hot dog yeah anything like ghost face comes out with a hot dog and shoves it down somebody's throat until they choke just choking out of hot dogs well yeah ghost face killer could also be in it he could be like 10 years old yeah he'd probably well 84 yeah maybe like 12 or it's like joysticks, and someone goes to serve someone else a hot dog, and it gets stuck in a babe's cleavage.

There you go. Oh, yeah, that was very common. That was a huge epidemic in the 80s. His hot dogs getting lodged in bosom. That's when people really loved hot dogs, too. It's gross, though. It's kind of, we've kind of turned the corner on hot dogs, maybe. I guess now it's more like

artisanal sausages. And oils of such things. Oh, you're back to the soft core again. Yeah, well, that's where my mind goes with this. You're talking on soft core pornography. Eric and I are trying to talk about delicious salty meat treats. Well, I'm going to be staunched on this. To me, this is more in the camp

of soft core pornography. You did bring up a point before we started recording. It doesn't include any thrusting. There's no thrusting, which I feel disqualifies it from being a soft core porn. But that's the one thing. We're just rolling around on a lot of gross water beds

in a lot of grosser motel rooms. There's some hot tubs. And a lot of gross looking images. general. Let me tell you about that hot tub. You want to talk about a ringworm epidemic? Get down to fucking in this lady's hot tub and Shannon Tate's hot tub. Or Shannon Tate, my goodness, Shannon Tweed. Shannon Tate was nowhere near this. It was not near that hot tub. No, she didn't live to see Hot Dog the movie, unfortunately. What a flub, Andrew. You're saying ringworm. I'm thinking, like, at one shot, you could have seen like the Ebola monkey just wandering around. around this hot tub.

And that's how it starts. Dustin Hoffman runs it. I found it. It's patient zero. It's coming out of the hot tub. Morgan Freeman blamed it all on like Africa and the jungles and like all that. Are we talking about AIDS right now? No, we're talking about the movie outbreak.

No, I know that, but are you talking about this hot, this hot tub and hot dog was. No, it's not ground zero for the AIDS virus. It's ground zero for the Ebola virus. There's a difference. I thought we were getting to some diet. I see territory and I was I was concerned. No, no, no, don't worry. Let me assure you we were just

talking about, you polar monkeys coming out of this hot tub. I know it was invented in the 80s by the Reagan administration. That's what I've heard. Yes, that's I mean, and talk about a case for blaming on In a laboratory. So this movie starts with a lot of amazing ski footage.

And for the entire movie, except for one big flub in the end ski scene, this is like flawless ski footage. Like really great ski footage, but there's one scene where they're like filming someone going down the slope and you see the

cameraman ski like come into frame. That's like the ski movie version of a boom mic flood. Like if you see the cameraman ski slide into the shot, you're like, oh, oh, cameraman, there he is. And during all these spectacular ski footage, you know, you've got some of

the best music I ever heard in my life. It's awesome. Take a listen to some of this music. I mean, if that's not screaming the 1980s. Yeah. Oh, oh, you get jazzed. You get jazzed real fast. One thing I will say that I was a little disappointed.

pointed uh there is a almost in like a three minute sequence to mitch rider's cover of princes when you were mine i was hoping for the original yeah you're not paying warner brothers records to get that original cut i don't need mitch rider and the detroit wills to fucking send me on to the skiing you know heavens well then there was also in the big party scene of the film they're also doing hungry like the wolf yeah that's straight duranderee yeah that's but it's a weird like Remix version, though. Well, because they, they,

you hear a lot of the instrumental track and then finally Hungry like a Wolfx. Yeah. Oh, maybe this is like the, the club remix. Yeah, exactly. That's why I was like, oh, because the instrumental lasts for so long.

I was like, man, they couldn't even pay for the goddamn Duran Duran track. Like, we're just hearing just this instrumental version, just go and go and go for like three minutes. And then all of a sudden you start hearing the vocals pop in.

And it's not. even like at the beginning of the vocals of the song you know what i mean right like it starts it's the chorus it starts with the chorus yeah and you're just like wait what is going on here so i don't know some weird like b-side remix of hungry like the way maybe they tinkered around with it too much you know these zealous editors and speaking of music the lead of this movie uh-huh fashions himself a musician as well excuse me he thinks he's the next john den didn't you hear? Although his brother tells him

he's the next John Denver. Or he's as good as John Denver. Patrick Hauser. Howzer is the actor. So he's a famous musician now. No, no, no, no. In the movie. Oh, right.

The movie. Oh, yeah. Hot Dog, the movie. You're right. Yeah, hot dog, the movie. Yeah, he's a terrible musician. Awful. He stops the movie dead when he stings.

Dead. Except everyone else is dying while watching it. But then, like, Sunny, his lady friend in the movie is getting so. turned up. Now, we got to, we should, we should properly introduce this girl because it's ridiculous. Okay, so Harkin is the guy. He's our hero. Harkin, something or other.

Skiing champion. He's a big skiing champion. He's a good old boy from Idaho. And he is driving to this town. Squaw Creek or something. Squaw Valley. Yeah, it's out west somewhere. There's a, there's a, there's a young girl that's hitchhiking outside of gas station.

And he, like, offers her a ride. She's going to San Francisco. He's going west. You know, it'll be fun. She gives him a lot of shit. A lot of shit. A lot of shit. A lot of shit.

Like, we are introduced to this girl. She is getting jazzy jeffed out of the last truck that she was hitchhiking in. Her stuff is all over the place. And our hero being the hero of the film goes up, like, can I help you? And she's like, get away from me, pervert. And he's like, okay, fine. And then she immediately turns around And she's like, oh, wait, you have a car?

Oh, I'll be nice to you now. Fine, fine. But, like, she turns around and she yells at the guy, you don't see the face of the guy who kicked her out. And she's like, I'm not giving you a blow job, buddy. And I'm like, I don't think that's. I think he just had enough of this. Well, yeah, I guess.

Yeah, she sees that, like, she's clearly made a scene. And she's like, uh, uh, no, I won't blow you. What was that? Billy Madison or something. No, I will not make out with you. It's that, it's that similar terrain. Yeah, okay. Now, she is a teen runaway. She ran away from home. Yes. She is underage. She is 17 years old. Underline that. Yeah. She's 17 going on 16, man. Circle it with red marker. Put it on your calendar. Do whatever you want to do. 17 years old. Well, you know what? It's important that we remember it and the audience remember it because no one in the movie cares.

Yeah, it's kind of horrifying because most of the men in this movie would be prosecuted today. Oh, God. The whole cast. There's a couple of characters in this movie that are doing life sentences. I mean, almost life sentences. Yeah, yeah, you're going in for at least 20. You got a good 20 going on. So a lot of this movie, it's kind of annoying because this movie's only like 96 minutes.

We get that little taste of skiing at the beginning. Right. So it's like skiing. It's the awesome ass font that says hot dog the movie. the music's playing like you were getting punched in the face by the 1980s and it's great and then it's 20 minutes of them just driving from motel to motel not having sex with each other and interestingly enough this is sort of like aspen extreme the serious ski movie we did the other year oh yeah it's just like a lot of them for some reason the ski movies need like the voyage to ski like the struggle to ski and it's like but that's the thing is like other than like downhill racer. I've never seen a really a movie that talks about like man, that is a pain in the ass sport.

You are hurting day in and day out. Well, no, that's the thing. Everybody's just having a great time. We're all falling down this mountain. Everyone's drinking a million beers after. I mean, it is amazing. I will say that I wish Gene Hackman was yelling at these people.

I will say that. And I did want to mention that font, the opening font was a bit of a revelation because that was the same font that opens South Park's parody. Their ski episode of these kind of movies. And I was like, oh, finally, I know. And isn't the villain in that South Park episode also like an Austrian, like European? No, he's just a douchebag. Oh, because I thought this, I thought this movie was almost being directly parodied by South Park. No, that's more of, in the episode, it's more of like, oh, he's going to close the record.

center. Oh, it's one of those plots. Yeah, it's one of those things. I see. So I want to mention here, the first motel that they stay in, like, they go to sleep, you know, nothing happens between underage girl and, you know, however old this guy's

poe dunk boy. Mid to late 20s boy. And now they're driving they're driving out west again after staying in this motel. And she's accusing him of being a virgin because he didn't try anything. After she yelled at him

that he was a pervert and not to go near her, now she's making fun of him for not, I just grabbing her, I guess. Force yourself on me. Come on. That's what I'm heterosexual. That's what men do. A lot of mixed messages from

from this character, Sonny, in this movie. It's one of those things where you're just like, it's sad. From the beginning, you're like, just fuck. Just like, I get it. I understand what's happening here. They're really at each other's throats. And it's, you know, eventually it's just going to burst apart. I get it.

Just do it. I kind of thought, like, maybe her parents will show up in the third act or something. Like, like, she's been established as this underage runaway. And, well, you know, she's not, she's not getting home anytime soon. Well, she has some line where he's like, where are you from? Or, you know, don't you have a home or something? Something like, she's like, she's like, you can't be from somewhere if you've never lived anywhere. So, like, there's some weird, like, reference to her being.

perpetually homeless. She's been hitching since she was three. Yeah. Joe Chill killed her parents. Then she became one of the box car children. Yeah, because she didn't have an estate to fall back on. Yeah, she's just been living in a train car solving petty mysteries. Yeah.

I'd buy it. I would totally buy it. We go to the second motel and this is great. They are ringing. I mean, and this is where you know, this movie plants its flag and you're like, okay, it's this kind of a movie. So the ring in the buzzer Ring and ring and ring in this buzzer Where's Norman Bates to check me into this shitty motel

Cut to this woman in a hot tub Totally naked And she's just like sitting there enjoying the hot tub You hear the buzzer and she's like Oh god damn it Well doesn't a scuba diver get up from the hot tub And she's like give me a minute I gotta go check somebody in

And you're like he was down in the crutch Yes that's what we're talking about oral sex Yeah I believe that was one And mother. But yeah, it's like, it's like, okay, grody hot tub scene one of two is happening right now. And so this woman gets out of the hot tub completely naked and just goes into the front office. Like, oh, you made a reservation. You must be these people.

Or just totally naked. And you're like, okay, that's what this is. All right, welcome to Hot Dog the movie. Thank you for such a warm welcome. Hot Dog the movie. See, this is now, folks at home, this was the hot tub I was suspecting that was the genesis of the... No, this is just where a clap was born.

Yeah, no, Sharon... Oh, no, the clap was around way before this. Well, sure. This is where it was resurrected, I guess, where it became more popular. The triple claps. Amongst the kids. One by one, come on in. And so speaking of disgusting, like, this is the, the hotel that they're going to stay in for

the rest of the movie and it is one of those like love bird motel so they've got this disgusting heart-shaped jacuzzi pool in their room there's a grody waterbed that it's like you know what do do me a favor do not turn a black light on in this room because i'm going to throw up all over the place well you wouldn't you wouldn't know there was anything there when you turn a black light on because the entire place would be just creamed yeah it reminded me of a story my girlfriend told me uh when we were coming back from uh we took a trip to san francisco recently and when we were coming back she had to stay at like a motel eight like near the uh near the airport where wait and she was she had to come back for work so you what you flew out a little earlier yeah well no we were coming

back at the same time i had to be at the apartment she had to be in new jersey the next day so she stayed at the near the airport i just want to get all the facts straight she got into this motel and like the guy uh who was at the front desk followed her up to her room and she's like, uh, I have the key. He's like, yeah, the thing is, um, I have to lock the door behind you. Get the fuck out of here. He's like, because it's a little dangerous. We've had a few incidents here.

She didn't go into what incidents were. Yeah. But he said it like, yeah, make sure this door's locked. Wait, so she was literally locked in the room. She's, he, it was at like midnight, it was like midnight 1 a.m. He's like, just don't open the door. So it was like a prison cell with a shitty air. air conditioner?

I mean, I think she could... At a broken bed? I got to find this trip TripAdvisor page. Three stars. We only found two dead hookers. Good God. Yeah, it's gross.

The motel you check in, but don't check out. Oh, yeah. Definitely. So the next day, we're making introductions to our, what will become our rag tag group of ski bums and ski babes. Oh, my God. And one of them, did you guys recognize?

One of the lead ski bum friends. David Norton. Yeah. The werewolf himself. He's the American in an American werewolf in London. And you know what? I'll tell you this much. He's the best part of this movie.

Yeah. He's that he is the character you kind of want to be in the ski movie, right? The guy who's slightly older than everybody else. He's cool as fuck. And a full-blown alcoholic. Yeah. Oh, yeah. This guy's got a five-alarm drinking problem. And if you want to find out what happens to his character years later, tune into his episode on Seinfeld where he plays an alcoholic.

Oh, my God. The alcoholic in the Red Sweeter episode, I think. I had no idea that was David Norton. There it is, man. Wow. Dude, you're blowing my mind right now. Great stuff. That's all. That's all I will blow. So we got him.

Uh, there's a guy who's like really kind of mentally challenged. He's a super ski bomb. Squirrel? Squirrel. Of course is his name. Uh, there's a stereotypical Japanese character played by the dude who's the shredder in fucking Ninja Turtles one. I did not. You know what?

Now you're blowing my mind. We're just blown each other. Oh. In this movie, going by the name of kamikaze. Because, yeah, of course. In that 1980s, you need casual racism. And when they introduce him as kamikaze, they say, once you see him ski, you'll understand why. No, no, no.

That's what's amazing. Because you're racist. He's just a great skier. It's got nothing to do with him, whatever you thought, like crashing into walls. He didn't go off that jump and fly into Pearl Harbor. He landed on his two feet and went the rest of the way. But had he landed in Pearl Harbor, what a skier, what a long jump. That would have, might have been a record.

You know what? Perfect 10. Because where could this be? Like Northern California, Washington, something like that. And to jump all the way to Hawaii. It would be something else. That's magic.

Yeah. He's on steroids or something. Yeah. So he's like the crazy, you know, stereotype character. Yeah. And then there's kind of just like a bunch of people that fold into the background. There's like a lot of younger kids that don't make the cut of

for the competition. There's one guy who's, he always has his headphones on and he can't be. Man, let me tell you. I hate that gag in shit. Like people who don't take stuff off and it's like inappropriate. Like he's always skiing with headphones on when they're at the big party at Shannon Tweed's house. And like that's when the hungry like the wolf's playing.

And he's dancing to hungry like the wolf, but the headphones are still on. It's the same shit. Like I love this movie and it's an amazing movie. But the fact that Heather Graham does not take those goddamn roller skates off in Boogie Nights is obnoxious. That fucking character on sex in this, not sex in the city. Caroline in the city that wouldn't take those fucking rollerblades off to save his life. Not funny.

Not fun. Obnoxious as all get out. Take those rollerblades on. I mean, at least that's transportation. He's having to communicate to several people in this movie and he refuses to take off, A, his shitty sunglasses. and be these fucking headphones. Because it's like, it's like an 80s cartoon basically. So it's

like, this is how my character's drawn and that's just how it is. And all his lines are, what? Whoa. Yeah. That's it. It's shitty. It's shitty and annoying. So yeah, he's low on the totem pole

for this, for this gang. Yeah, I mean, there's a lot of there's a girl character who does not have a line outside of, yeah, you tell them or something like that. I think they replaced her in scenes. That's because she wouldn't get

naked or something. I think she's the one that didn't get naked. So they just like, oh, who's the fucking, who's, you know, our PA today? Bring her in here. Oh, that's stupid. And then we are also introduced to the Villain of the film. He is the world champion skier. He's supposed to be the world's

greatest skier. Rudy. Is how our hero introduced it. He looks like a Nazi Joe Namath. He does. He absolutely does. giant fur jacket on. Rudolph garmished this Austrian ski champion. Amazing trivia

fact about this actor. This guy present day South Dakota news broadcaster. That's amazing. I guess the acting did not work out for the fellow who played Rudolph Garmished. Yeah, I mean he thought that fucking spot on McGiver was going to save him but it did not. So our hero

skier like runs up to him gushing like a fan like, oh, you're great skier. I'm like so happy to meet you and stuff. All right, because Harkin and Sonny, like Harkin takes Sunny out for a big nice dinner. Right. And this is where he meets everybody at this restaurant. And let's be very clear about this. Harkin is a

big, dumb idiot. Oh yeah, he's a manga. Actually, the, uh, Rudy his first, his first line to Harkin is, uh, call some stupid, stupid American in German. And he's, oh, does he really? Yeah, and he's absolutely accurate. Yeah, Garmish does a point there. And then

what's crazy though, is, uh, is, is like, and again, this is just some serious, you know, national hate going on. But, like, all Sonny has to do is hear his Austrian accent and immediately just starts calling this guy a Nazi. Like, up and down calling this dude a Nazi. And he's just like, yeah, okay, American. I'm here for your skiing competition. Definitely not a Nazi. And he's got, like, Biff's entourage with him.

Yeah. called the Roudettes. The Roodettes. Oh, stupid. Really not good. Yeah, I mean, but like they are. They're all like the Biff fucking, you know, hangers-ons. We're missing a two-saint back there.

Yeah, Zippy the pinheads there. 3D glasses guy. So, yeah, so it's like they immediately get off to a bad start and this guy's like the villain of the film straight up. So, like, we have everything. We got our fucking pinhead hero character who's the high. hot dog, I guess. We got the lady friend who's going to, you know,

the relationship is really going to be put to the test, you guys. Sonny, the underage girl that he had stolen from the gas station. Yes, yes, yes. I mean, I have a note here, and I think it was actually directed. It's something that David Norton says about the Austrian guy, but could also be directed to any of these American characters. He calls the Austrian guy a world. class asshole, but that's seriously, this Harkin fella, he's the world-class asshole.

No, no, no, now, Rudy's world class, because he's traversed the globe, Harkin is, you know, I don't know, I mean, he's local asshole, yeah, maybe a national asshole. Yeah, a national asshole. A nationally known asshole. Well, that was my big problem from the beginning of this, like, from the fucking bickering in the beginning, like, on throughout. Was that, like, I don't like any of these people. There's not a single person. I mean, like, David Notton's the closest, but that's only because he's drinking himself to death. I mean, you know, I got empathy for the guy.

But, you know, but most of these people are just like, you know, they're pig. Fucking, the misogyny is just like the richest, like. Oh, misogyny connoisseur, Chris Gannon, right? Resident misogyny expert. Yeah, I mean, we'll get to where it gets really horrendous. It's right around the corner. So we have our cast of characters And now that everybody's friends with everybody else

Except that Austrian Nazi apparently Everybody hates that world-class assholes guts We finally get this movie going And we go to a townie ski bar And things get gross really fast Oh yeah Hold on that hat again So they go to this bar

And everybody's having a drink hanging out Pitchers a beer all over the place You can smell this bar through your TV. It's disgusting. And there's a guy on stage who he is, he has a microphone and he's in front of a crowd. And he calls himself Lester, I'll wait for this ambulance to go by. I get it. Someone's dying. I'm trying to do a show here. Bye, ambulance.

God, so rude. Die on your own time. Bye, bye. This guy calls himself Lester the Malay. That's why I got so pissed off of that dying person for, because I wanted to tell everybody this guy's nickname is Lester to the molester. And he lives up to his name. Yep. He certainly does. So this dude's like, all right, everybody, I'm Lester the molester.

And you know what time it is? Wet T-shirt time. And he's just like, oh, God, I don't want to be here. So he's got some resident girls up there. And then he's like, we got to get all the women from the crowd. I'm Lester, the molester. there's a couple of ladies that are like the plants in the audience you know what i mean they're like oh i'll definitely do it lester and he's like we're not supposed to know each other diane

there's some other girls that like are very hesitant to go up they're like come on you got to come up here all be the d squad you can't you're going to make everyone here awfully angry if you do not come up on stage and there are dudes totally fucking caveman out, like taking chicks over their shoulders to bring them up on stage and everybody's like, yay! And I believe our underage girl

is brought up as well. Well, no, initially, he goes to her and our hero Harkin kind of like puts his arm around her and Lester the molester very professionally. I must say, of Lester, is like,

oh, I see, oh, you're with somebody. That's okay. Who else do I? have and he's like i gotta you know everybody i gotta help me i gotta find something that'll help me find these girls and he starts undoing his fly and you're like what the fuck this dude reaches into his pants and pulls out of like police issue maglight flashlight i was waiting for a hot dog it's fucking hot dog the movie show me lester's cock i was like oh no i was certain oh you you you meant you were looking for an actual hot dog yeah oh i was like i wanted this dude to take his penis out.

No, yeah. I thought this was totally going to be a Jonah Hill and Wolf of Wall Street. I thought it was just going to start, expose yourself. It starts masturbating in the middle of this bar.

I got something that'll get you on stage. Yeah, because they're running away from it. Holy shit. I'm going to make you just run onto the other stage. This show is sponsored

by Better Help. You know, my 20s. while being a lot of fun, a lot of the time were pretty rough. I wasn't exactly rolling a dough. I lived at home until I was about 25, and for most of it, I didn't have this show or you lovely people in my life. I just kind of drifted around without direction and didn't know where to voice that. Then I started to get my crap together one piece at a time,

and the last piece, which didn't come until my early 30s, was therapy. And man, I wish it came along sooner. Ever since I started sitting down with a licensed therapist, I've had a place to voice my insecurities and try to try to, to fashion plans to help me achieve my goals. So that's why I'm thrilled we're sponsored by BetterHelp. If you're thinking of starting therapy, give Better Help a try. It's entirely online, and it's designed to be flexible, convenient, and suited to meet your schedule. Just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist, and the good thing is you can switch

therapist at any time for no additional charge. Let Therapy be your map with BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com slash WHM today to get 10% off your first month. That's Better HelpH-E-L-P.com slash W-H-M. This episode's brought you in part by Rocket Money, and they have this question for you. They handed to me just now, Mr. Rocket, just handed me this. Do you know how much your subscriptions really cost? Most Americans think they pay around $80 a month on subscription services,

but the actual total is closer to $200. hundred dollars if you don't know exactly how much you're spending every month you need rocket money rocket money is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions monitors your spending and helps you lower your bills all in one place and with rocket money you could lower those bills without resorting to having bean dinners every day of the week you know you have those bean dinners to try to save some a few bucks but if you were monitoring your spending with rocket money you didn't necessarily need to eat every bean dinner so find out what all the fuss is about you know Over 80% of people have subscriptions they forgot about, like the Stars app.

Don't get me started. You don't have to go through all the back end of the website anymore. You don't have to call customer service. Rocket Money helps you manage all your finances in one place as well and categorizes everything. It's easy to keep track of the whole budget. Even I can do it and I got rocks in my head. So find out what 3 million people have already done. They've taken the rocket folks.

Stop throwing the money away. Cancel unwanted subscriptions and manage your expenses the easy. easy way by going to rocketmoney.com slash WHM. That is rocketmoney.com slash WHM. Once more, rocketmoney.com slash WHMHM, which stands for we hate movies. So he gets all the girls up there and, you know, guess what happens? He starts, you know, dousing them with water, pitchers. He's got a clowns, seltzer.

bottle with him. That's the thing. He has a couple coats of water. He does the first the seltzer bottle, then the actual buckets of water. Well, you know what? Lester than molester is a professional. This ain't his first rodeo when it comes to a wet t-shirt contest. I've got a feeling this is a three times a week situation

at the bare minimum. Speaking of his nickname, the reason he doesn't bring Sonny up on stage, I think, is because I think this guy's got a history and he knows not to fucking go where he shouldn't be going. Yeah, no, this dude is on strike two of three guarantees he grabs one of these girls and he starts just um going at her her breasts

oh yeah with his mouth yes no that that starts happening yeah in this bar and then all these girls just start taking their tops off it's like an orgy breaks out yeah they're all into it that's the thing that's the weird thing is they're all fucking into it this was the bacchanal i was talking about you guys like all of a sudden all these girls are topless dudes are taking their shirts off. The band starts playing and everyone is just sweating, spilling beer, throwing up, and sucking on things. And you're like, what, what is this turning into? I thought it was a thing where it was like, you know, this dude, this Peter Markle, like, directed this movie. And then he got, uh, he got Caligula. Like, the producers went back and put all these scenes in. And then

he went and he was like, what happened to my wholesome ski comedy? Yeah, right. That 40-minute wholesome skiing. That was mostly footage of skiing. Yeah, you got a point. If you take out all the hardcore sex in Caligula, it's still like an hour and a half. Yeah, there'd be nothing left of this. It would be a TV pilot. But this is definitely one of those bars, like most, you know, old bars, quote of dive bars. Yeah. It's a nice, you got a nice hash of vomit and stale beer. This one, I feel it's vomits up to here. It's turned up to like 11 and then like, yeah, you get a little bit of the stale beer. Well, the stale beer is still there, but it's just masked

by more vomit. I feel is the thing. And I don't think anybody's cleaning it up. No, because you just throw some sawdust over it and then open up at 11 a.m. the next day. Guaranteed this place is only closing down for like three and a half hours tops. Total tops.

Three and a half hours to shut down. Just to give the air conditioner a break. I'm so disgusted. So they ski down. our main characters do and Sonny apparently was turned on royally

by all of this. She was ready to go and Harvin or whatever his name is wasn't having. Harkin, yeah. And so they go back to the shitty love motel and she's getting ready for bed and this is where this dude is just playing guitar. He's just singing this song and you're

like where is this coming from? Where did you get this guitar? First of all did you buy it in town? Because I've been following you around for three days And this is the first I'm ever seeing a guitar in this movie. This reminded me of psychomania a little bit. Oh, when that dude's just playing guitar in the tree at the funeral? Yeah, episode five for new listeners, I think.

Yeah, wow, good memory. Jesus. You have to go to wh-hmpodcast.com and click on the episodes tab if you want to hear that one. But that was the difference to be psychomani is like that guy's at a fucking like funeral or was it just like a hangout. No, it was the funeral. It's a funeral. So I almost understand it like, okay. you know, we're mourning people.

I'm going to, you know, express my pain through song. This guy's just hanging out singing this shit song. Expressing his love through song. Is that so wrong? He doesn't love, apparently he doesn't love this girl at all. I mean, we know what this dude's motivations are and it's just getting it wet. It's a fucking ski comedy. That's all anybody's in it for.

There's no true love in ski comedies because the only true love in a ski comedy is the love for a skier and the mountain. and his poles yeah some fresh powder if you know what i mean well that's another weird thing in this movie is there's there's multiple time it happens twice where sunny makes reference to or actually pops pills and harkin has to be like what did you just put in what what was that there's like one time where she's like he says something about oh i i she's like why do you love skiing and he's like i love it for the speed and she's like oh speed i could use some of that I'm kind of tired, and he's like, what, no, I mean, like, going down the mountain, you know, like, velocity, wind in my face. And she's like, oh, right, that kind of speed.

And then they're driving later, and she pops a bunch of pills. And he's like, what the fuck did you just do? And she's like, oh, you're not my parents. Don't tell me what to do. And I'm like, no, seriously, Sonny, what did you just do? You're about to go to Shannon Tweed's house. Well, that's probably what she got kicked out of the first fucking truck is because, you know, he was just like, I'm all out, hon. I'm all out of speed.

You got to get out of this fucking car. car. I got no zips, poppers, reds, blues, ups, downs. I got none of it. I got no more slow-mo, up-mo, side-mo. You got to go someplace house, get the fuck out of my truck. And use your fucking cassettes, too. I forgot. Yeah, that's what she spills all over the parking lot of that gas station is a bunch of cassette tapes. Oh, man, I bet there's some sweet mixes. I think it's all Duran Duran. I think, well, no, because it's like John Mellencamp songs when she turns it on. She had three. Three or four copies of Duran Duran's Rio.

Yeah. And then one American fool or... One John Cougar. Yeah, one John Coog. Maybe Bruce Springsteen's The River. So they have... The River. That's a great song.

If depressing is all get out. So they have... It's the big qualifier skiing where everybody's... It's everybody's seeing who can do what. And everybody's kicking some ass. And it's some great skiing. Not a lot of stuff going on here comedy-wise. That's the...

My beef with this movie is, like, for a ski comedy, it's really light on the jokes. Yeah. And the times that it's making jokes, they're just not funny. Like that fucking kamikaze line that just, I almost said, blows up in their face. But I guess that's also bad. You know, it's a joke that doesn't work. Yeah. How about that?

That will work. But, like, that's true. Like, you would need, like, David Notton should be the lead in this movie. He really should. And, like, Harkin, the problem with him is that he's just such a blank slate. He doesn't do anything but be, like, a righteous skier. He's a total dud. Yeah, he really is.

And, like, a little bit of a shit. I mean, as we turn out, once Shannon Tweed shows up, a bit of a shit, too. Oh, yeah, he's a scumbag on top of everything else. And, like, again, David Norton, he's just an alcoholic, it's just killing that liver. And, like, that's fine. Yeah, he's not hurting anybody but himself. He's got personality. Yeah.

He knows life. He's been through the ringer. He knows what's going on. He's like, he's a little bit of like a R.D.J type personality Yeah, a little bit, yeah. Which is what I think is what I found entertaining. Yeah, talk about fresh powder.

There isn't like, other than speed, but there's no like, like, there's not like any actual cocaine. No, that's another weird thing. It's implied. Is it implied? I didn't. It's, it's a, it's a comedy in the 80s. Yeah, I suppose that's true. It's implied. I mean, I saw a whole lot of joints, but

are people smoking jays in this movie? There's more in a few. A lot of them on the powder, actually. I didn't notice that. While on the powder, they're smoking Jays. I just noticed all the bad beer everybody's drinking. I couldn't take my eyes on it. Cours, banquet beer.

Oh, yeah. The original hard shit. Which is what I'm drinking tonight in honor of hot dog. Coors, Golden Banquet. Not a sponsor of We Hate Movies. At all. Also, possible Nazi connection. I see Adolf Coors of Golden, Colorado.

so they have these qualifiers a couple of our minor characters because we have to trim the fat in this gang i guess yeah a couple of the minor characters don't make the cut to be in the competition david notton fights with like the manager of the resort who we'd never see again after this scene well this and like this movie doesn't have a whole i mean the story is this you know is he going to win the competition that's essentially the story of the movie and if he's but like there's also this underlying thing where david not is like, you're being like friendly to the Europeans and that's bullshit?

Well, it's a weird thing where he's like, you know, clearly a lot of these younger Americans skied better than these dudes. Right. What's going on? And the guy and again, this comes to nothing, but the guy is like, listen, we have a lot of European businesses like sponsoring

the, you know, the championships this year. You know, we kind of just have to play ball, make some people happy. They need a lot of Europeans in the competition. And you expect to be like, okay, well, this is what's going to come to something. Like, maybe this will be, they'll be ousted as cooking the books or something like that. It's none of that.

It's just this one scene where he... He's just a really well-run business. And he recognized where, you know, how to handle it. He knows who's keeping the lights on at the ski resort. It's just to get a couple more booze in when they don't give fucking Harkin the perfect score. Yeah. But that's the end of any kind of business. business dealings, you never see this manager

ever again. There's like the manager's assistant who's really shitty to David Norton and you're like, oh, okay, maybe that guy's going to come to something, nothing. Nothing happens from this. You never see these characters ever again. I mean, I think one of them might be one of

the judges like holding up the card, but they're not there. Like, there's no more interactions. It's also such a vague competition. We also don't know, like it's not like Harkins like, oh, I just need the two grand prize to save the family farm or something. Yeah, he just loves skiing. He just loves skiing. Everyone else just loves skiing. I don't know if they're putting themselves up or what the situation is.

Yeah, you don't know, like, if there's an actual team or sponsorship or anything. I mean, and that's why this, I feel, is like a failure of a ski comedy because the details are just non-existent. So there's no stakes. You don't know why anybody's doing anything. I mean, yeah, is he paying for this, for this fucking motel, this grimy motel? Well, he does have a line about like oh I saved up all this money to do this trip or something like that a foolish decision so we meet Shannon tweet at the competition

qualifiers you know and of course she's having the big party and this is like probably the longest sequence of the movie like we're going she is the big and this is also there's another similar character in Aspen Extreme right like there's this

very wealthy woman loves praying on the younger dudes and she's just having these big parties where all the kids come over, drink all her booze, and potentially have sex with her. And fuck her and the disgusting cesspool hot tub on her deck. That's what we have going on. And like in Aspen Extreme,

the villain used to be fucking her. And he's really put out that he can't still be fucking her. I feel like the people that made Aspen Extreme saw this movie and they're like, you know what? We can do this, but make it the serious story that skiing deserves. Make it look a little

nicer, but take away even the three jokes that are in that movie. Oh, and also new listeners. We did an episode on Aspen Extreme. It's number... Yes, you can't remember them all. You can't remember them all. I want to say one, three.

It might be around one three. So there's a great line. You see these characters all interacting with anonymous extras throughout this entire movie. And you see how bad squirrel is with women. And he just goes, up to this girl and he's like hi my name's squirrel and she's like oh hey i'm i'm denise or whatever and he goes

so i suppose a fuck's out of the question yeah come on squirrel he's got game man you know he's direct he's honest he's open and of course kamikaze oh yeah goes up to a girl starts speaking japanese and starts comparing her breasts to mount fuji they're as beautiful as mount fuji and we're getting the translation with like subtitles on the screen so that's the joke is she's like I don't speak Japanese and he's like that's okay you don't have to

I'm just going to keep saying all these pervy things to you I mean it's just as bad as like fucking the Japanese submarine guys in 1941 Hollywood Hollywood oh yeah it's like it's such a stupid fucking are you talking about actual Japanese submarine

crewman yes no I'm kidding I know I know I know you mean this Spielberg movie but yeah like this whole fucking sequence goes on forever well we're all because we're dancing to this 12 minute goddamn hungry like the Wolfrendition and what I was going to say is that what I

think the reason that they used the instrumental track I think for so long it's because they didn't want you to like have any no sleaze should be blocked from your ears as he fucking boffs Shannon Tweed yeah so like everybody's dancing except for Harkin and Shannon Tweed who are getting down in this movie and you're just

there for every nook and cranny of it. And I was like, did I accidentally change the channel to Showtime or Cinemax or something? Like, what is happening right now? But that was her whole career was just doing this kind of role. Like, you know, showing off, I mean, in her, you know, later years, she could just show off the cleavage and that was really it. Well, also, you're married to Gene Simmons at some point in there. So you got to, you're not having to do. do the shitty movies a little bit. Shannon, I don't think you need to be doing these filthy movies anymore.

I'm Gene Simmons and I think you can stay at home and hang out. Why don't you relax? Man, I've been, I tried to watch that show. The family jewels. The family jewels. Wow, I totally forgot about it. And it is intolerable. I guess that is what it's called. I said it with such authority and then I was like,

I don't know. Well, my favorite one is there was an episode in that series where Gene Simmons is just like because I guess they were never married technically Oh is that the deal? It was something like that It was kind of like a Pacino-Dangelo thing Oh I see

Is that still going on? Pacino DiAngelo? No. No, I don't think so. No, I don't believe so. Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell though Still going strong. Still doing it.

Wow. Yeah. Yeah. Wait, so what are you saying about this? This episode? He's like, he's like, oh, I'm tired of not being a bachelor anymore. I'm like, you're Gene fucking Simmons, dude.

Just get it over. You're fucking 68 years old or whatever at this point. You know, I think I want to do another kiss tour just so I can be on the road. If you know what I mean. Shannon, do you know what I mean? Get away from it all. Just get away from this reality show. Go on the road.

Pack my kiss toothpaste. What is? I have sex with a bunch of 45-year-old women. There's nothing wrong with that. No, no. I'm just saying, what's the fan base for Kiss now? He's talking about pining for his days of groupies. Hey, Shannon, I have to go to the candy shop.

I'll see in a couple months. what is the worst reality show the Gene Simmons family jewels are that fucking Hogan knows best Hogan knows best had the better lines Yeah The only one I remember is where he's pining through his kitchen looking for tuna fish

And multiple times you just hear Linda Linda where's the tuna Linda He also says that on a sex tape Because he had a sex tape that came out the other year? Oh, did he?

There was a clip from it that they played that's absolutely hysterical and work friendly so if you can find it at work, look for it. Don't look for it at work. Because it's the aftermath

of it all and it's him getting out of bed and he's standing he's standing at the side of his bed and he's like in his, he's got like a little banana hammock on and he's like rubbing his stomach and he belches and he's like, oh I ate too much pork.

And just, he just fucking walks away. And that's the end of this thing. I will say that. Because like, Hogan's more of a cartoon character. Gene Simmons, like, spent half that, half that show trying to give,

like, people business advice. Well, that's the thing. Oh, God. That, Gene Simmons takes himself way too fucking seriously.

Exactly. I mean, you were, you put it on fucking clown makeup and being an idiot for years. And now you're going to be like, like, you're important?

Well, wasn't he on, like, celebrity apprentice or something like that? Yeah, I think so. I feel like he would have to. I mean, if he didn't, that was a missed opportunity for those people. Oh, you know, I was the, not only

was I the king of rock and roll, I was the king of marketing for Donald Trump for one year, on camera only. Like, it's all a farce, man. Gene Simmons is nothing. Donald, I have a good place where you can get a tongue implant.

It really works out for you in the end. Yeah, it's called the cornhole. That's where you've got to get a tongue implant? It's a place called the cornhole. Something tells me, you're getting other things at the cornhole. Well, that's where you get the tongue, right? That's what Gene's move was, right? It's quite possible.

I don't know much about Gene Simmons, but I especially don't know much about his moves in the bedroom. Yeah, I can only speculate. Hey, Shannon, thinking about marketing a sex tape. You in or what? Actually thinking about publishing a book, The User's Guide to Cornholing from The Master. Not even going to sign my name to it, calling it The Master. It sounds like one of those pickup artist books that came out back in the day.

The game or whatever the fuck. That's a fucking idiot that like refused to reveal it. identity. Remember that shit? What a grade A ass. The maestro or whatever. I think that's what he was called the maestro. Oh, no. The maestro if you're listening, fuck you. You piece of shit. It's a nice

fuck you pop dude. Fuck you. You save the best for those kind of guys, man. Yeah. So anyway, Shannon Tweed is fucking this kid's brains out. Yeah, they're in the bed, then they're in the hot tub. And then in an odd turn, all of a sudden, Sunny comes around the corner in a towel out of nowhere. And I'm like, wait, what are you doing? And then she's like, oh, oh, harkens in the hot tub with Shannon Tweet, I'd better get out of here and be all mad about it.

Meanwhile, like, she's been after other dudes and everything. And she makes a point of saying, like, also, she was like, get off my ass. We're not together or something like that, like right when they got to the party. and you're like, what are you doing walking around this woman's house and a towel, first of all? I mean, like, there is this thing where she's just trying to make them fucking jealous.

It's strange. Well, that late at night, she goes into the sauna with that towel on. Do you guys remember this scene? Yeah, it gets weird again. And who's in there, Rudy? Rudy and the Rudets. All the rudets.

So it's like, it's the dude, this South Dakota fucking news anchor playing an Austrian. And then just all these dudes. all these other dudes just sweating it up in this sauna. Yeah, and he's all like, oh, I'm so sorry for, for insulting you. I thought on slopes earlier. Let me, let me massage your back a little bit and, oh, just relax on the, you know,

satisfied we're here, we're here to relax. And she is convinced. Yeah, she falls for it. Oh, man, the defenses go down, you know, and then, um, so they have sex. Yep. It's more of an applied scene. Yeah. But you know what's going on.

It's scuzzy. It's super scuzzy because you feel like the rudets and him are all getting in on the action. Exactly. I don't know how many, if any, rudets are getting involved in what's going on in that sauna. Like, is it a thing where he's like, okay, rudets, rudets, rudets, get out of here? It's time, it's time for Rudy to play alone. Get out. We will be kinky soon once she is asleep. Speaking of a sleep girls Holy shit So we got we got a hot tub fucking

We got sauna fucking We got Hungry Light the Wolf And then we got David Norton behind the bar And he's Who did this? Yeah I mean like I was always surprised That Sam Malone was able to pull it off

For 11 seasons behind the bar David Norton would not be able to work at cheers He would get fired day one Because he's behind Because of his cocktail called the leg spreader oh man and this girl sits at the bar and she's like oh make me a drink and you know he's like oh what do I you know what can I get you and she's like oh what do you recommend he's like oh I got this I got this drink called the leg spreader and this girl's just like oh that sounds interesting I'm like no go back

to the bacchanal bar you know it's cleaner there I'm watching this right now and I'm it's like I'm watching hostile you know I'm like oh oh dear god yeah this doesn't seem like this doesn't seem like the left turn into into fucking gang rape at all if someone was tied to a chair and surgically torn to pieces in this movie yeah i would not blink an eye like it gets very hostile s squirrels just fucking like playing with some guy's eye with a needle oh yeah so so this girl takes like one gulp of this drink and passes the fuck out well let's we have to we have to illustrate what's going on here here so he takes a fish bowl size sniffter okay puts this it's shit you would use to guess how many jelly beans are inside it like that's how big it's the balushi sniffter yeah and he's like okay here's what's in a leg spreader and it's just him pouring various liquors into this huge sniffter this aquarium size sniffter and then he's like and then there's just a little twist of lemon and you go. And then this girl picks

this shit up. Like she's been walking in the desert for a week and downs this thing. And then the gag is, she immediately falls to the ground and collapses. And then all these dudes are like, well, say, like, Squirrel gets in there. Squirrel's line is.

Now that's a girl I can take advantage of. Oh, is it? Are we? Literally, we're, there's a girl possibly dead on the floor. Just dead. Yeah. And they're like, we're going to take advantage of her now. I mean, come on.

These people belong in jail. And the theater in 1984 is slapping knees, man. Oh, yeah. Oh, man. Just Dom Deloese wheeze laughing. Yeah, he called it a twist of lemon. That was a twist of GHB.

Well, I think that's a little bit of a misnomer. I've frankly taken the drug several times and nobody's ever tried to rape me. The best thing Nick Nalti's ever said in his life. Oh, really? When Nick Nalty got busted for that big, for the human growth hormone?

Wait, what? I'm getting these mixed up, aren't I? Yeah, you're thinking of HGH. GHB, the, the day rape drug. When Nick Nelty was pulled over for drunk driving, the famous picture of him, the Hawaiian shirt, the mugshot, he had a ton of GHB in his system. And they were like, in some interview, they were like, hey, Nick Nalti, you know, GHB is the fucking date rape drug

And his response was I think that's a little bit of a misnomer Because I've been on it several times And no one's ever tried to rape me Nick Nulte Star of 48 hours No one ever tried to get my cornhole Jogingly no one ever tried to rape me

I don't understand it I really don't understand it's just It's a wonderful drug I'm sky high I'm walking around Exactly he was a like it just gets you really fucking stone. And it's not like I didn't put it out there or nothing either.

I mean, frankly, you try staying on the set of Hotel Rwanda straight. I got to wear that goddamn stupid UN sky blue helmet, pain in the ass. There's all this slaughter. I mean, really, it gets to you. If you read the script beforehand, it really gets to you. I love that Nick Nelthy had a real hard time on the set of Hotel Rwanda. What an ordeal that was. I mean, it was making the movie.

but I really felt like I was there, if you know what I'm saying. I offered Don Cheadle a little bit. He said no. He's a really sweet guy. He's a family man, so I understand it. But I kept on telling him, why not another 48 hours is going on a little adventure. Get a little fucked up. I mean, he could probably remember every day of that shoot.

I don't remember a lick of it. I have this blue hat somewhere in my house. Somebody told me it's from the fucking movie. I have never fucking remembered him. Lick of it. You know, I got a check for $200,000. And I said, what was to this goddamn $200,000 for? And someone said, it's for Hotel Rwanda.

And I said, why? I wasn't in that picture. And they said, yes, you were, Nick. And I said, no, I'm not. I think I'd remember that. Turned out I was. And then I thought I was in Colonel Sunshine in the spotless mind, but it turns out I wasn't.

Turned out that start, Jim Carrey. Now he's goes to Jim Carrey. You know, I almost played the Riddler, too. This is him just yelling at an old bartender. The only Batman villain he's ever played is Killer Crock. It's the only one. Honestly, I would love to be Nick Nolte's bartender. Just hear all the stories.

Yep. Guaranteed great time. It's like the fucking necronomicon. You know what I tell a story at a bar? It's kind of like reading from the Book of the Dead. What? It's inked in blood, bound in human flesh. It's an endless tale of woe and suffering.

A couple of great stories about Eddie Murphy, too. Could raise the dead. James Remar and me used to drink all the time. Eddie Murphy wouldn't hang out. He would always be like, he won a little bit of smoke. But me and Remar, we tore up to town. Man, Nick Nelty and James Remar going out partying, look out. Yeah, the trail of dead.

They're leaving their way. So this party, the last point I want to make about this party is it features some of the worst extras dancing of all. Like, these are we love pointing out hilarious extras. There's not one singular hilarious extra. Like in the first

Superman, there's the guy at the Daily Planet that walks by and looks like directly at the camera. It's fucking great. It's one of the best extra flubs of all time. This is like 20 people doing weird slow-mo shitty dancing and everyone's got the

same like dumb smile on their face. they look like badly drawn cartoon like the background of a shit GI Joe episode and it's just repeating the background's just in a cycle so we get the first competition of this thing and this is something I've I've never seen and I guess it must be real I mean I always watch the winter Olympics I love watching skiing I've never seen the first event that they have here which is like ski dancing twirling yeah there's a lot of twirling yeah there's a lot of It's all choreographed dance moves. Never have I seen this. And listen, what a waste of time. Yeah. Maybe that's what they figured out. And they were like, yeah, we don't really need that.

It's a good 10 minutes, this sequence. Do you think that they cut it from the Olympics? And like back, way back when, like Lake Placid had ski dancing in the 80 Olympics? You know, correct me from wrong, but I kind of doubt it. I feel like this is probably like some asshole ski, ski. You know, ski resort type of thing and not the Greece is not going to recognize this. I mean, I don't think Greece recognizes any of the winter events. Because I imagine that all Olympic events are planned at the Acropolis.

That's where the original, you know. So when they wanted to get like snowmobiling approved, like they had to go to the top of the Acropolis and like pray to Zeus to make sure it would get approved and everything. Yes. Well, that's why I think all this. skiers hate all the snowboarders because the snowboarders, because they had to make room for all the snowboarding events they got rid of all the ski dancing.

Oh shit, maybe. You know, the Olympics used to be so great till fucking Sean White and all his friends came in, fucked it up, took away ski dancing. Go fuck your half pipe. It's totally possible. I mean, I've never seen this.

But it must have been a thing because these people are phenomenal at it. It's the dumbest thing I've ever seen, but they're great at doing. Yeah, I mean, there's a little, I mean, there's, there's some grace to it. I mean, I, I couldn't watch it for more than two minutes, but. And who do we meet on the slopes that day, but Rudolph himself? Oh, my God, I hear my favorite line in the movie is, wait, you're pointing at me right now. Well, because I figured that we'd have the same favorite line on this one.

Okay. You know what I had for breakfast? I had sunny side up. I had Sunnyside down. I had Sunnyside all the way. Oh, man. A great line, but my favorite thing is that he gets, he starts getting aroused by the thought of what he did

halfway through talking about this. He did not think that he would accidentally give himself an erection while taunting these rag-tag group of skiers. The titular hot dog. Fucking finally. Because he gets the sunny side up, sunup, side down, And then all of a sudden he's like, it's sunny all the way around. Oh, and look what I've done to myself.

I better get back to the clubhouse immediately or behind this big pine tree will have to do. So why I wear three pairs of snow pants. You can't see my awkward snow pants boner through three layers of snow pants. Three layers of snow pants. Holy fuck. Talk about swamp ass. this is all the scene also starts with david noton being dragged on like a sled in like this one of the i think i don't know if it's like squirrel or whomever is like dragging him behind he's laying on a sled covered up in blankets and he's like oh i twisted my ankle and they're like oh shit man are you not gonna be able to hit the slopes today or what and he's like yeah i don't know think i might have a beer and he like throws this quilt on of him and he's got like six 12

packs of beer on this sled and they just start drinking at the top of this mountain and I'm like god damn it you guys are just the king of the hill they're tapping the Rockies Coors not a sponsor of we hate movies well that's what I mean halfway through this movie after after this one like because we're introduced

to David Nott and while he's drinking little things of vodka oh yeah he's got airplane bottles of vodka like while they're waiting online to go up the chair he's got like the fisherman's vest just full of little, like, you know, fishermen's vest of the airplane bottles. He's got a Mets cap on at all times.

Like, honestly, he's the most successfully characterized person in this movie. But, like, after this, I'm like, I kind of want, like, his AA sponsor to be calling him or something. Like, he's been off the grid. Yeah. He's been off the grid for a while. And David wants to, you know, David wants to cut loose. But Morty's like, man, you got to take responsibilities. Remember the car crash?

No, I think the issue was his sponsor. was Nick Nalty. Oh, God damn it, David Norton. Now I got to go to the top of this goddamn ski resort. You know I hate the winter weathers. I never go out during the winter weathers. Nick, I'm feeling a little attempted out here with all my fellow athletes.

Ah, take a nap. What I do. Take a goddamn nap. But all the pain and all the exhaustion and it's just a party atmosphere, Nick. I don't know what to do. How don't you get a job? How about that? get a goddamn job that's what i did guys in the navy too

you know what fuck at the bottle's better than this he's sidled with such a terrible sponsor he figures crippling alcoholism it's less frustrating if you have to talk to dick nulte at midnight i'm pretty sure i would turn to the bottle pretty quickly this better be good i was sleeping god damn it what i love about dick nulties you know he's the guy who answers the phone

any given day any given time as god damn what god damn just about to go take a shit go on the fucking phone he's also someone who totally stay on the phone with you while taking the shit well that's probably

I mean like after another 48 hours he probably bought himself a toilet telephone like the hotels now figured I might as well own a toilet telephone I just made a fucking turn that start me and Eddie Murphy Another 48 hours

I always said if I did a goddamn sequel I bought myself a goddamn toilet phone My great grandmother had a phone in the bathroom Man another 48 hours is a bad movie Forty eight hours is a good movie Yeah it's fine yeah it's pretty The first one's Walter Hill What's the second one like fucking James Mangold or something

I think it's not James Mangled But like it's another you know mediocre director It's Dr. Mangala, the Nazi war criminal. Yeah, I mean, he has a lot of visual nuance. I like to do some experiments with this sequel. Do you guys hear me when I said my great grandmother had a toilet in the bathroom? Did she have? Did she talk to you on the toilet? I don't think I ever spoke to her on the phone ever. I don't know.

Wow. It didn't go to use then, huh? I don't know. I always picked it up while I was in there to make sure it worked. It's a case Nana needed the toilet phone. Well, that was the thing was... Make sure Jason Voories didn't cut the phone lines. Those little old Irish lady living alone, you know. Come on. Well, the problem was with whenever I was in a hotel with the bathroom telephone...

What fucking hotels are you still? There's a bunch of hotels in the, like, 90s in, like, early 2000s, and, like, there was just a telephone in... What problem could you possibly have? Because I always thought I should have been calling somebody. I'm like, it's right there. They obviously want me to use it. I'm just, and I was like, I would go through my head. Like, is there anybody like, my uncle?

No. Could you dial out or was it like strictly emergencies only like you picked it up? It was a phone. It was straight a phone. It goes right to 9-1-1. That's what I'm saying. Or room service. Because listen, man, they're not cleaning that phone a lot, dude.

Like a lot of people are touching that shit. And you know everyone's just picking it up, picking it up out of curiosity. But guaranteed, if I see one today as a 30-year-old man, I'm ordering in either A, pizza or B, Chinese food from the toilet. I guess I could do that with a cell phone. That's the thing. Cell phones ruin the whole fucking thing. I can take a cell phone in the bathroom all the time, literally every day.

It's just with me. Yeah. Wall-mounted toilet telephone. Those were the days. So we were talking about share lifts, and I think we should get into squirrels. Oh, let's hop right to it. Yeah. So squirrel is going.

is going into the chair lift like him and his buddies not in the whole gang are going up there they do like a rock paper scissors or something to see who gets to go because no one

they can't all fit yeah who gets to cram in and it's kind of like a tram it's like an enclosed thing and so squirrel loses he's bummed he goes into the next one that's empty you know a gorgeous young lady gets in

yeah well you see a lot of those on the ski slopes a ski bunny Ski bunnies, man, yeah. Talk about fresh powder. So then... I think that's a Craigslist joke. It's a dated reference.

Sort of like Nick Nalti jokes. Well, he's coming back around. Half our audience doesn't know who he is. Nick Nalty? Folks, without IMD being, right into We All Hate Movies at gmail.com right now if you don't know who Nick Nelty is. And if you do, do not write in.

We will have too many emails. Yeah, I mean, I know most of you know who Nick Nalty is, but if you seriously don't, I'm sorry you didn't get the last 15 minutes of joke telling. We just did. And you're about to get informed. Seriously, look up Nick Nelty, though. After you write in and tell us, you don't know who he is. So the ski bunny has eyes for squirrel.

And squirrel's too dumb. Squirrel's disgusting, too, because his gag, on top of being stupid, and having a bowl cut is he's obsessed with putting sunblock on. I never got this. Well, because you can, as I learned once, horrendously, you can still get sunburns when it's cold outside. I mean, I know that. But you get a lot of like wind burn when you're on the slopes and stuff.

Chris, let me fill you in on a little something here. Okay, educate me. All right. Squirrel is blonde. Sure. I'm blonde. Sure. Yeah, we catch on fire. It is the war. You need, yeah, sunblock, of course. Like a vampire at high noon, he's going up. But what I didn't understand was how it was a gag.

Because it is his gag. Well, because the gag is the amount of sunblock this idiot keeps putting on his face is growing until we're in this gondola and he is just Bukakiing himself with fucking sunblock. And it's also just an excuse for him not to look at the girl so then the girl can like basically jump him. Yeah, like, this girl has to go over and start unbuttoning his shirt to be like, hey, moron, we got 15 minutes until we get to the top. Let's fucking figure it out already. How am I supposed to give a shit about this guy getting laid? I don't care. No, you don't.

Nobody gives a shit. Her hand goes down there. Yeah. Then her, you know, the rest of her. And. Yeah, she starts blowing him on this gondola. Which is, you know, we're entering the realm of sci-fi and fantasy, man. Really?

Oral sex on a fucking gondola. Star Trek Same thing Yes because you know what You need a hollow deck To replicate that shit Because If it's happened to you

Please write in So I'll tell you what It happened to no one Listening to this Q just shows up He's like Squirrel You have a new game

To play with me So look at poor squirrel Humanity is such a disgusting race of creatures Going down on themselves In a public gondola Are you watching this? You scumbags the next chairlift?

Are you watching this, Picard? Do you see what you've become? So, by the way, all his friends are watching and me cheering him on from the next car up. That's the thing that's crazy about it. It's like, yeah, there's no one else in their car, but the other car that's above them and has a bird's eye view on this action is like seven feet away. Squirrel don't care. Squirrel don't care. Squirrel likes to be watched. That happened to me one time I got blown in a goddamn gondola.

Shooting another fucking 48 hours. A lot of bad shit happened to me on that movie. You know, on the set of affliction. Oh, come on. Sissy Spaceac asked to watch me with a local lady. Oh, man. She just smoked a cigarette in the corner. I feel like the set of affliction was a very serious professional sex.

No, it's fucking anybody. Yeah, we had cameras. We're rolling. Fucking Nick Nulte, Paul Schrader, and James Covern were like in earshot of one another. That was not a fucking, not, you know, bleh. Yeah, it was party time. Yeah, everybody was doing it. So we're going the gondola, by the way, because the next thing they do, this is the ski jump competition.

So they got to get up real high on the mountain and whatnot. And there's some awesome ski stuff going on here. And then it's weird because I feel like, back to school may have kind of lifted a little bit from this movie because the whole thing is like they have this guy who's asking them like oh what kind of jump are you going to do and whatever and when triple well he does a twist he calls it the twist and triple and the guy is like i've never heard it what's that jump and he's like it's my signature jump and he's like well i can't let you do it if i don't know what it is and the guy's like hearken is just like well i'm going to dude anyway so you can't stop me man I'm the king of this mountain you know but so he does like a very mysterious

triple related thing I feel like the triple Lindy I mean because back to school is like 86 something like that but back to school they do much better of like very early on like the swimming coach is like set it up where exactly right where he's just like this is I saw this guy do it once

it was fucking incredible I've never sent anybody else be able to do it I wonder what the fuck is going to happen at the end of this movie. Yeah. And that's fine, though, because that's how you tell a story. Well, yeah, this is not telling a story. I mean, if he had rolled into town and they were like, that's Harkin, whoever, he's the dude that did the triple twist or whatever it is. I think the word triple was pretty big back then, right?

Because it was like an extreme thing, you know? Well, because doubles doesn't sound very nice. That sounds like what your stupid dad used to ski like. Your dad's just doing all double dumb shit. Yeah. stupid dog shit triple lindy twist and triple triple sow cow and ice skating oh man that sounds extreme with a capital x you want to talk about extreme extreme eating extreme triple triple cheeseburger aspen extreme man uh that last time we were all hanging out with that time we went to wendies

and i got that triple uh the triple whatever oh yeah oh and they were like well this guy's a fat pig he won't care if we add a fourth burger on the miss and i was like like, fucking fuck you, Wendy's. I mean, I'm going to eat it, but what is the rationale? It's like, well, man, this burger sold. We're going to have to throw it away. Man, just give it to that guy.

Just toss it. You won't know the difference. That pig won't know the difference. He's already got three fucking cheeseburgers in there. Fourth won't do any more fucking damage. So did you send it back? No, I ate the whole fucking thing. I didn't notice until we got home. What?

I'm not going to drive back to Wendy's. I thought you ate it and then noticed when you got home. Oh, and then go. I just walked in the door. I feel like I accidentally ate four cheeseburgs. And then you're calling up Wendy's from your bathroom phone to complain. If there was any time that deserved a phone in the bathroom,

it's when you eat four fucking Wendy's cheese. Oh, you couldn't just give me more pickles. Oh, God damn it, I just accidentally ate four fucking cheeseburgers. I asked for a triple. You fucking threw on a fourth one. You're not doing anybody any goddamn favors. And you didn't get me my fucking frosty. Oh, mercy, me.

But yeah, triple's very extreme. You know, that makes me think of David Hasselhoff. I bet he's used some toilet phones. Remember that footage? Remember that footage a couple years ago of David Hashoff on a bathroom floor eating a cheeseburger off the grill? Oh, God, yeah. Oh, yeah, drunk as shit. Yeah.

Yeah, it was a low point in the Hoff's career. You know what I realized? Career. We could do, like, a paparazo podcast. What, just like making fun of? TMZ news? Yes. Yeah, I can see that happening. I have no problem making fun of celebrity

news. The problem is, like, then we're doing a show where we have to say things like Kim Kardashian. Oh, yeah, we better not do this. Kim Ye. Excuse me? You have to say Kim Ye. Pardon? Now, you say Kim Kardashian. Like Kim Kardashian and Kanye West. The kids call him Kim Ye. It's like Station that came together.

If I could picture what happens when two people fuck each other. It's exactly like Station when it's Kanye West and Kim Kardashian. Station from Bill and Ted's bogus journey. What other station is he talking about? I'm trying to fill in the people at home who are thinking of maybe a train station, a bus station.

No, no, no, no. The alien race that hangs out with Einstein that like merges together to become from two dumb shits to one big dumb shit. To a big station. Aren't they also like, they're geniuses? But they're, aren't they given to Bill and Ten? by God, because they go to God. Yeah, God gives them the ugly. God's like, here's

the thing that you can use to help fight two evil robot versions of yourselves. These two nude trolls. That movie's fucking terrible. Yeah, it's pretty outrageous. It's no good. It's no good.

Now, where were we in this picture? Hot Dog the movie. We're talking about Hot Dog the movie. There we go. We just did the ski jump. Oh, and we're man triple extreme triple went down the rabbit hole one

okay so he does it I mean that's that's the thing we made a bigger deal out of this dude doing this trick than the movie does because he just does it it's flawless and then he gets like

the whole thing is they keep claiming that he's getting the shaft because Harkin's like doing all these flawless moves and routines and everything yeah they're pretty bodacious oh dude tubular, bodacious moves

he's got. Radical. Yeah. And there's a little bit of radical moves. Oh, yeah. I would definitely say there is. I tried to think of another one with that. That was it. Narnly. Oh, damn it! Yeah, gnarly. They're all of those things. Yeah, it's a little gnarly, too.

They're all of those things. And the whole thing is that he keeps saying, like, he's getting the shaft. Because, like, the judges are giving Rudolph, like, perfect scores mostly here and there. And he keeps getting the shaft getting, like, just a little bit lower than him every time. so he pulls off this crazy move that no one's ever seen before and then sure as shit he gets a low move and they start freaking out but like all of this comes to nothing it's not revealed that the judges are on the take from the Austrian team which is what you want because you're fucking telling a story have something happen I mean that's the I mean the bigger problem with this whole movie is it just like the conflict is so like lax and like yeah there's nothing to really drive any of this like other than I guess the cleavage and the general boobage I think really at the end of the day this is more of a movie about sexual conquest

Yeah I mean sexual misconduct I believe Yeah This movie is about felonies Yes Also though It's kind of not

Because the back half of this movie All of the sex capades Goes away It's basically like after Shannon Tweed's big party That's kind of it To the point where there's one scene where Harkin and Sonny kind of have a falling out. She's like, I'm getting out of here because you fuck Shannon Tweed and he's like, oh yeah, well, you fuck the Austrian

ski team or whatever happened. And you told me I was a free agent right before I did it. So they have like this tiny falling out and she's like, I'm going to San Diego or San Francisco wherever she's going. I'm getting out of here. But then all she does is drive to like a ski store, buys a bunch of skis and then comes back and tries to learn how to ski. With Shannon Tweed, like, kind of making fun of her? Yeah, it makes no sense. And then by the time we get to the ski jump,

which is the last competition in the movie, it's the ski dancing. There's a scene where they do a mogul race, that's the more you're skiing over all the bumps and everything. And then they do the ski jump, and then the Austrians wind up winning. But in that time, at some point Penny, Penny, Sonny just comes back to him and is rooting for him,

and they're totally fine. I was like, where's the, is there a deleted scene that you, you like, accidentally deleted where like, you know, oops. Yeah. There's, there's some reconciliation. A plot turn, maybe? Maybe, like, one of the Austrians gets fresh with her and then, like, Harkin comes out of nowhere and punches him out or anything. Maybe Nick Nolte plays the small town sheriff that has to come up and sort things out. You know, I heard there's a lot of, there's a lot of really questionable stuff happening on these ski slopes.

You know, I can't be everywhere at once. God damn it. You we tone it down, please? What the fuck is that crout doing in this bar? Oh, yeah. Nick, uh, it, at Sheriff Nulte, he's actually Austin. What is that crowd doing in this bar? Sheriff Nulte.

And Nick Nulte and Sheriff Nulte in Hot Talk, the movie? Let me make this clear for you, your crowd. Dina Papyrid bitter. I'm going to need to see some identification right the fuck now. The only fucking phrase I had to learn how to say in the war, I was there behind enemy lines. No, it's not Bratworth, the movie. It's Hot Dog the movie.

Do you think this was released in Germany as Brotwold, Bratwurst der Film? Bratworth's der Filmspiel? Winston Churchill brought me up to talk to that Rudolph Hasman. Once he crashed that plane into England and I took them apart, I took the fucking hinges off him and put them back together. And then with that intelligence, I went into Nazi Germany. And then I, yeah, I won the war. McNulty single-handedly taking down the Nazi regime.

Yeah, once I got to Berlin with that Hess knowledge, I fucking running the show. One, one brutal interrogation at a time. oh god i apologize i'm sure i did a terrible job this is the fucking movie i want to be watching over hot dog the movie i only watch nick guilty nazi interrogator fucking put that shit in the fucking criterion collection oh yeah you think i'm tough here comes to mayor jew you know they always said that that joseph goreble's poisonous children with that cyanide capsule, but the truth of the matter is, is I fucking strangled his children in their beds. One by one, I took those kids out, just to get a little bit closer to them.

Their furor. See that bag? See the bag in my corner? Full of Aryan scalps. Just fucking laying out Nazis with a baseball. Some of them are adults. So the Austrians win the ski competition And everybody is mildly upset about it

They retaliate by throwing snowballs at the judges I was like the fucking wind is coming out of the sales of this movie Let me tell you It's a jovial jokey thing It's not like we're pissed off and throwing snowballs at you. Yeah, you are playfully saying you disagree with their opinion. It's so stupid. So then they challenge the crowds to a little game of Chinese downhill.

Again, there's no reason why we are making this a thing named after Asian people in any way. They're like, why is it Chinese downhill? and they're like, oh, you'll see. But the whole thing is just both teams ski down the mountain and there's no rules to anything. You can like fuck with people, push people over, hit people with your polls, whatever. And I was like, if you survive, you win?

But whoever's first to cross the finish line. The whole thing is they say like, okay, Rudolph, you know, you may have won the trophy, but now the trophy is on the line. Whoever gets across the finish line and grabs the trophy first gets to take it. home but again why is this fucking chinese downhill i don't understand what that means well kamikaze right rightfully says what the fuck is chinese downhill yeah um yeah i mean it's i mean it's so stupid yeah it's stupid and uh uh guess who wins uh crap nick nulti yeah i got your god damn trophy now get the fuck out of here

you how late it is turn that music down doesn't harken win now it's like the ending Harkin with that's what I hate about this movie is Harkin goes across the finish line grabs it they lift him up and it's freeze frame I mean

to this movie's credit amazing music playing the entire time don't get me wrong amazing 80s music playing the entire time unbelievable punched in the face by the 1980s Sonic Assault 1980s speaking of assault

One nice moment here is Rudy throws snow in Sunny's face. Oh. I just love the, you know, the notion of making sweet, sweet love to a woman. I don't think Rudy does anything sweet sweet, sweet. No. I think it's punch, punch love. Well, because we were saying it's possible that it was a fucking son-a gang bang. That, you know, we don't know for sure.

That's true. We don't. It is sent till proven guilty. He only says that he had sex with her, Sunny up. sunny down, sunny every way around town or whatever that was. At least several positions were utilized.

Yes. I have a book that I always keep on me. But like for inspiration. You get that fucking comma suture out here, you goddamn crap. Oh, you like to have sex, huh? Oh, get that commasucha.

Now, I'm going to make you replicate every single move in this book until your fucking head's spinning. Then you're going to smoke this whole fucking case of cigarettes. And then we'll see if you really want to have sex with these cows. You want to drink a beer You drink all fucking case of beer right in front of me

Man, he's the best cop ever Slash Nazi Hunter But that's, I mean, it's the end of the movie They lift him up. There's not even like a celebratory kiss Between Harkin and Sonny. There's nothing. She's in the fucking background.

Everybody else like crowds around him and lifts him up And it's freeze frame amazing music. End of movie. You have to do better than that hot dog, movie. I know you could have been better. Yeah. I know you could have been better. You know why? Because I've seen a hundred other fucking 80s ski comedies. Well, let's think a 96 minute movie as this is should be tight. This, you could have exercised so much out of this movie. How about the fucking

motel tour at the beginning? Why don't we cut that down a little bit? Take that first motel right out of there. Why doesn't he just fucking meet her at the goddamn village? Yeah, it just, right? Yeah. Why is it, why is this whole fuck, why is it a road tail? Squaw Valley sounds pretty cool. She could be hanging out, smoking reef her in the town. She should be, she should be a local to Squaw Valley.

Yes. Why even have that's the thing is like, why have her be this tragic teen runaway when you literally never do anything with it? Exactly. Make her a Squaw Valley bartender or something. You know, just like the chick in Aspen Extreme is the radio

DJ, make her work in the town and oh, she hates skiing. She refuses to date skiers. I mean, it's just like Aspen Extreme, but you're coming out fucking six years before Aspen's doing, do whatever you want. I'll do you one better. Why isn't she the really good female skier that nobody fucking respects? Why not have something like that?

Well, that's because it's a 1980s boob comedy. Come on. I mean, I may be dreaming the impossible dream. But I mean, you're right. That would also make for an infinitely more interesting story. You know, if she won the fucking Chinese down. Because that's a good thing, though, right? Because she's trying to learn how to ski.

And Shannon Tweed makes fun of her for being shitty and falls on the bunny slope or whatever. So have her win the fucking Chinese downhill. Yeah, she should win. She should definitely be more involved. All right. Let's go back in time of 30 years and fix this fucking movie. So it's not just all blowjobs and skiing. By the way, that's also how elderly Nick Nolte got to Nazi Germany was time travel.

Time travel. Yeah, you're right. It wasn't, it wasn't 1992 People Magazine's sexiest man alive, Nick Nelty. Because don't forget that happened. Yeah, so he was in his hotel bathroom on the phone, and then he noticed a fall out of his wallet, his draft card from 1941. Oh, God damn it. Got to go back and sit right with what's went wrong? Fuck.

He started reading his compositional notebook, and there he went. Al, you got to take me to fucking Nazi Germany. We got to fit, right, what's what wrong? Al! Oh, God damn it. I'll get that, like, I swear to God. Oh, no. Fucking, goddamn, you hot dog, the movie.

Would anybody recommend hot talk the movie? Yes. Light recommend. I said that a little extreme, but... It's not a triple recommend. No, but the music is fantastic. You could look up the songs on YouTube. Some people have uploaded full songs.

There's people who have found, like, the thing you sent me today was a dude who found a 45 of like a Japanese release of this fucking song from this movie. Because that's all it ever really existed on because this was not like a big commercially released song. It was only in this movie. No, I mean, we're not talking about like popular like the Valley Girl soundtrack. Yeah. This is like...

This is Cliff Mangus, I think. Mangson. Yeah. You've never heard of them. Magnuson, maybe. Mayhew? No. Magnes. Somebody fucking say Mangle. No, nobody said mangle. Time traveling, Nick Melty. Chris Gavin, would you recommend? A huge recommend on the music. Movie, no. It's too lax. It needs something more, a little more substantial. Just to keep me interested. I was like, I paused it about 45 minutes in. And I was shocked. I had another 40. minutes to go. Don't you hate when that

happened? Yeah, it's just like, wow, really? Yeah, I would not recommend this movie either. I would totally recommend you look up those goddamn songs on YouTube as soon as you turn this podcast. Yeah, you know, we'll like, we'll tweet it out, we'll put it on the Facebook to Facebook.com slash we hate movies. If you haven't

liked it, like it. Yeah, like that page. We put some stuff on there. We didn't say that enough. Hey, like that page. It's a thriving community. There's like 2,000 people there talking about episodes. So yeah, it's great. And speaking of the music, you know what? I made fun of that Mitch Ryder cover. It's not the worst cover of when you were mine I've ever heard.

And there's a couple. Prince one obviously is much better because it's Prince, but like... Well, obviously. But like Mitch Ryder does an okay job there. Chris Cabin says you could do, where's the Mitch Ryder? Yep. Always. Ooh, nice pull quote.

That's Hot Dog the movie from 1984, directed by our good friend Peter Markle. Reminder, it's our Memorial Day hot dogs and hamburgers. double feature. Yeah. Let me ask you, Andrew, is there a hamburger in hamburger in the motion picture? There is a fuck ton of hamburgers.

Well, there you go. Yeah, it's literally about a hamburger university. Yeah, it's like McDonald's College. Oh, fantastic. Which is a real thing that McDonald's has. Yeah. It's based off of... Oh, really? Yeah. Yeah, that's a thing. It's not clown college?

I mean... Fantasy? Well, I'm saying... No, I know. It's... Ronald. Oh, oh, I see. We should make a comedy where people are trained to be Ronald McDonald's. We can get some of that Mickey D's money. What is it, Mac and me?

And creating nightmares, by the way? It's Ronald and me. If it's a movie where you're following people that are becoming Ronald McDonald, the movie has to be called Nightmare Factory. If you want more information about the show, check out our website, WHM Podcast.com, and I can't stress this enough. We've been getting a lot of new list. listeners writing in saying, hey, man, why does iTunes only start at episode 100?

The rest of the back catalog is available for you guys to catch up on. Go to wh-hmpodcast.com. Click on the episodes tab. Streaming or direct download are direct links to all the MP3s from those back catalog episodes. A lot of hours of free comedy there for you to catch up on. Because, you know, we might be making some inside jokes like talking about fucking a psychomania. Mania, Aspen Extreme, they're there. Perfect, complimentary pieces to this fine episode of Hot Dog you have.

And Aspen Extreme and Cycomania, aka the Death Wheelers, infinitely better films than Hot Dog than the movie. Oh, yeah. Both of them usually. Like our Facebook page, follow us on Twitter. We are at WHM podcast. What were you going to say? I was going to maybe knock Aspen Extreme down a little notch.

I mean, it's not. I think I'd rather watch Hot Dog, but go on. I don't remember if I recommended that or not, so... I think it was light recommends all around, if I recall. Okay, yeah. We could have Nick Miltie go back in time and beat the shit out of me. I mean, this movie doesn't have any Terry Polo, so I don't know. There's no Terry Polo as a small town radio DJ.

God damn, I want that job. Right into the mailbag, we all hate movies at gmail.com. If you subscribe to this show in iTunes, or if you get us on Stitcher, or however you subscribe to the show, if there is a way for you to rate the show, review the show, please do you. so. We would greatly appreciate it. It increases the profile of We Hate Movies and our mission is spreading the word about WHM all over the

country, all over the world. So do what you can, do your part, tell your friends, we'd greatly appreciate it. Also, tune into our sister show, Blame it on Outerspace hosted by Eric Siska. Blame it on outerspace.com at BlameSpacebud on Twitter and Facebook.com slash Blame on Outerspace, taking

down conspiracy theories in a comedic fashion. What's going on over at Blameen Outer Space these days? actually really exciting. We actually found two people from this town called Derry, Maine. Oh, get out of here. Yeah, no, serious. Hey. Who, uh, who were

abducted by aliens. Stop. This is the first time we've actually sat down face to face with people who have claimed to be abducted. So this, it's, it's very fascinating. Did you got these people to come in or did they Skype in? No, no, they can, they came in. Oh, man. They were in town on, you know, just tune in. You'll have to hear about it.

It's a whole other set of circuits. It's a whole other bag of worms over at Blaming on outer space. So a lot more laughs over there. Subscribe in iTunes and Stitcher. They're over there. And rate and review that show as well. No hint for this week. We already told you hot dogs, then hamburgers.

Hamburger, the motion picture, directed by the writer of Hot Dog the movie. By the way, you know, if you're curious, oh, should I watch the movie before? You know, it's a recommend. Okay. Hamburger, we put over Hot Dog. Just as you should, this Memorial Day, we. weekend hamburgers are better than hot dogs i like a hot dog too but i mean a hamburgers is better right i know what i'm doing the night watching that hamburger oh man get ready it's fucking crazy

total recommend dude here here's a little teaser for chris kavin who has not seen hamburger the motion picture and for all of you listening at home dick buttkiss playing a hamburger professor sure so until next week with hamburger the motion picture i'm andrew jupin eric cis Chris Cabin. Take it easy. What is the fuck is the Chinese down here?