We Hate Movies - S4 Ep159: Hamburger: The Motion Picture

Episode Date: May 26, 2014

In this week's episode, the gang concludes their Memorial Day Hot Dogs & Hamburgers double feature by taking to task the incredibly offensive college comedy, Hamburger: The Motion Picture! Why is our hero such a dud? How was everyone okay with the treatment of Magneto Jones? And did Dick Butkus' character really need to be a racist? PLUS: Ronald Reagan movie reviews and Jesse Ventura counts "10"s! Hamburger: The Motion Picture stars Leigh McCloskey, Chip McAllister, Jack Blessing, Charles Tyner, Debra Blee, Randi Brooks and Dick Butkus; directed by Mike Marvin. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

Hey, gang, if you're ever sitting around thinking to yourself, you know, what's it like to watch a movie with these guys? Well, we have a solution for you. Out now, available on cdbaby.com, the iTunes store, Google Play, and Amazon. A brand new, sinkable DVD commentary we put out entitled Treckmentary Nemesis. It's a sinkable commentary track to the horrendous 2002 Stuart Baird film Star Trek Nemesis. Oh, could you tell those people to shut up, please? Could you just tell them to shut up Trying to watch this movie

Trying to watch a movie Tell them to sit down and shut up I love the idea of someone Sinking it up Taking the time And then just not being happy with it I guess that's if like someone's father's in the room With them

Yeah yeah He doesn't know what's going on I mean How many of your friends are here What's going on right now Are there another room Are they on the telephone Am I on Skype right now

What's happening I'm just trying to watch this Star Drake picture If that happens Please pause it And just tell your father what's going on. Yeah, tell him he's an idiot. And you don't have invisible friends

or whatever. This is pretty exciting. A Star Trek movie with me, Steve, and Andrew. Yeah. Yeah, look at that. And then some other luminaries like Sir Patrick Stewart. He's there. And Michael Dorn and Brent Spiner. Jonathan Frakes. Yeah, Ed Wharf is there.

Separate from Michael Dorn. Warf is also there. He does a dual role. I'm Michael Dorn, and I'm Wharf. And welcome to this Dorn on Dorn commentary track. Shit, now I want that to happen. So if you found any of this amusing, it's two hours worth of it on Treckmentary Nemesis.

Can't even hear the fucking plot? What are these people talking about? This bald motherfuckers running around with this fat robot. I got no idea what's going on. Also, if you're a new listener, and you want something else to complain about, we also have a commentary track on the cult movie Chud. Yes, the Douglas Cheek 1984 cult classic

starring John Hurd and Daniel Stern. And yeah, these are commentaries. They're a little loose, little jangly, you know, we kind of give it's not one of those we're not scripting anything we've never scripted anything for this show no not we'll be damned if we start not writing bits not taking pencil to paper ever this is this is just like watching the movie with us uh you know but the room smells like your room you're drinking what you want to drink we're just over the over the over the earbuds yeah you don't have to smell us or nothing so check them both out now chudmintry and trekman

Temesis, available on cdbaby.com, iTunes, Google Play, and the Amazon store. Hello, I'm Andrew Juppens, Steven Zedek. Eric Siska. And we hate movies. Hello, everyone, welcome to We Hate Movies. Thank you for tuning in. As always, if you're new to the program, you're checking us out in the second week of our Memorial Day barbecue hot dogs and hamburgers spectacular.

So you might want to go back if this is your first time. Check out Hot Dog the movie came out last week it did. Because this week, we're talking about its companion piece, which is directed by Hot Dog the movie's writer. It's Hamburger, the motion picture. Or you might want to stop listening to the show. Maybe that's the direction you want to go. And I get it.

I mean, you know, hey, look, we're just hanging out. Oh, by the way, Memorial Day barbecue stuff. You need some, you need one of these. Oh, yeah. We all got banquet beers today, baby. We went on eBay. We spent 40 bucks on stale banquet fees. Exiled expired

Beard. We're just getting ripped. We're going to start seeing things. Because when you drink old bad beer like that, you're instantly transported to movies like Every Which Way But Loose. E.T. Like all these movies where they're just drinking bad beer. That's a room I always wanted to be in. At the beginning of E.T.

Where everybody's just eating pizza, they're definitely smoking in the house. There's bad beer all over the place. The kids are screaming and yelling. It was probably a pretty great pizza fry. at E.T.'s mom's house. Screaming, yelling, and coughing over all of the cigarettes that are in that house. At E.T.'s mom's house. Well, not E.T.'s, you know, Earth mom. D. Wallace. D. Wallace, yeah. No, not E.T.'s birth mother. I was thinking of the birth mother. How do you think E.T.'s race births themselves?

It'd be great if E.T. was like, E.T. was this beautiful, human-looking woman, but she just smoked so many cigarettes. Oh, come on. She birthed this decrepit. ruin alien. Now what my question was more specifically, I guess, do you think like when ETs are born, it's like one E.T at a time or is it like a litter? I kind of imagine it's one at a time, but it's like quato in total recall. It like crawls out of your chest or something. It's like birth. It's like a totally different birthing way, all right? It's an alien race. Well, no, first they're their facehuggers, right? And then that's the feet. Then they start to grow out from there. Oh, yeah.

It might, maybe. We'll never know. It's too bad there's never going to be an E.T. sequel. Well, there was some, the original beginning of E.T. was him bursting out of Tom Scarrett's chest, but Spielberg cut it in the re-releases. Steven, do we really need these guns? I know they're federal agents investigating an alien invasion, but I really think Walky-Tockies might be more appropriate. You know, walkie-talkies, maybe a couple of flashlights, Stephen. I don't think these men would be carrying firearms when dealing with an unknown race from another planet. And what do you feel about Sibulba making a quick appearance?

Just out of curiosity. Just throwing it out there. Shibulba is available. Shibulba is actually, I can't do it anymore. Subalba is E.T.'s birth mother, perhaps. Oh, yeah. It's totally possible. E.T.'s money lending birth mother.

Sebalba. so hamburger the motion picture not as great film is not as great a film as ET but still pretty great in its own right for a second I thought you were to say not as great as hot dog and I was about to punch your teeth in no no no no no

as we even said last week on the show hamburger the motion picture is a superior film probably the biggest reason for that unlike hot dog where there's approximately zero percent hot dog footage this movie has a lot of hamburgers in it.

You better like hamburger puns. Hamburger buns and hamburger puns. Puns, buns, and everything in between because this movie is hamburger happy. We open on a shot of a grill being worked on. Are you pitching this movie?

This is the producer in 1985. A teenage boy grabs cold beef and molds it into what we all know is a hamburger. What we all know to be a hamburger. It places it on the grill. You get that sizzle, and then this song starts playing,

and everyone jumps out of their drawers for this song. Let's stop everything and listen to a good portion of this song. On almost any corner of almost every town, on every lonely highway, you'll ever travel down. You're going to find a burger shop. America, mom and pop How long there ain't no telling

They're out there, out there selling Hamburgers for America Yeah Hamburgers for America In their blood, it's their tradition It's almost like the on a mission Selling hamburgers for America. Oh, yeah.

So picture that awesome song, this awesome 80s ballad with this montage of disgusting people eating disgusting hamburgers. And you're going to get hungry. It's a hamburger tour of White Trash America in the beginning of this movie. It's like, there are not, there's more than one baby eating a hamburger in this opening. And it's so great, too, because you can tell, like, the mother or, like, the actress, I mean, these are clearly not actors. So it's just whatever schlubs you found in burger restaurants. But it's like, the mother, like, shoving the burger at the baby. Like, come on, baby, eat the burger.

Come on, baby's first burger. Come on, come on, get it in there. Eat the fucking burger. Gonna be in a movie. You're going to be a movie star. Eat that burger. When do you think E.T. ate his first burger. Sometime in between

All the candy he was eating in that movie Bring him down You know the sugar high What does he eat in that movie Besides Reese's pieces I don't think he eats anything He's just eating those Reese's pieces though Yeah that's that's all his race needs

Is sugar I'll always be sugar So yes We got our burger montage And you're really just burger-fied burgered up ready to burger go yeah and it's not like a montage of it makes sense because we're about to

introduce a fictional fast food world to like maybe do that in the opening but we are just padding this out with like burger found footage it's like four minutes of people eating hamburgers disparately in different locations like where was the like the PA or like the

intern whose sole job it was to hunt down every known existing burger related industrial film Get me all the burger B-roll you can find. Burger Roll. Hamburgers and you. Why the communists wants you to hate hamburgers.

What will stop that impending race war? Hamburgers. The ultimate peacemaker. When you said found footage, I was imagining, like, they found this camera, and there was just this footage of these teenagers eating all these hamburgers. And then what happened next to them? I don't know. They got killed by a hamburger.

Yeah, maybe they wouldn't do the creepy woods. Can I tell you, speaking of dumb, like the dumbest of low found footage movies? I saw a listing for a film the other day. It was called Sex Tape, but like the E was cut out. It's like SX tape. Yeah. It's about these motherfuckers making a sex tape. And then ghosts appear.

And that's a movie. Are you fucking kidding me right now? No, SX tape. I think that doesn't that have non-sense? simulated sex in it? I didn't see it, but probably. I was almost positive because I was seeing something. Did you play a ghost in this?

I may make a little bit of a cameo doing unsimulated sex as a ghost. You're just tiptoeing out in a sheet. Wait, wait, wait, are they doing unsimulated sex? No, it wasn't unsimulated. Steve was just masturbating under a bed sheet quietly. That counts as a, you know. Oh, you get him out of here. That's what the movie's about.

the ghost is this lonely fat old masturbator that died mid-orgasm and then somebody else moves into his house to do a porno you know a sex day porno and this guy's just jacket it the whole time so it's like an angry like vincent chevelli bitter ghost yeah yeah exactly i see it's like the sixth sense he's always grabbing people just giving people bruises spanks on the tush ghost tush well so yeah the only thing dumber than a found footage hamburger movie is this SX tape that I saw the listing for. So speaking of boobs, four minutes into this movie, literally right after we're done with this hamburger montage, we're in a shower room, like immediately. Cutting right to the chase.

First you eat a burger, then you get real fucking horny. And I can kind of imagine this now as that like daffy duck, Scarlet Pimpernel thing where he's like pitching something. And he's like, okay, first there's four minutes of just hamburger footage. Hamburger footage, smash cut. We're inside a high school locker room And there's sex everywhere College locker room

College locker room Yeah you gotta go Steve I know your mind is Now to be fair No fuck it But in this movie I'm not being fair to anybody But it's like this movie

This movie wasn't fair to anybody So why would you? No it's one of the most racist hateful films of all time But there's this like pan We're panning down the shower stalls Right And it's all these

Bab babes hangout it's all above boob until you get to like the actress who's who's getting down with our hero in the shower stall then you see her naked uh then uh an obese school marms screams screams at them who's also nude and i never knew of a thing where like the uh like the house mother and whatnot like showering in the same room like i don't know if that happens she's got to have her own shower right like she's got her own little like toilet and everything, like, hidden away. Maybe she'll soon be a dead masturbating ghost

and she wanted to get a lay of the land. Maybe she swings kind of that way. You can't wait to your ghost all the time. No, that's true. You want to get your fetishes in before you die. Well, you want it because, you know, to prove how hard it is to get laid when you're a ghost, one, see the amazing film Ghost with Patrick Swayze and Demi Moore,

but two. School spirit? I was getting to it. school spirit man that ghost has a hard time having sex so this dude uh he's sent to the school psychiatrist that's a thing uh and it we come to find out that this guy has been kicked out of four schools in three years all for public lewdness nudeness and rudeness is what they say he's he's a sex addict i guess and by the way a lot of this movie kind of at least the start of this movie feels like a porno with the sex

cut out. Because it's like he's going to go see Dr. Victoria Gottbottom. What is this? A shitty bond rip off? Oh, Victoria Got Bottas. But yeah, so this psychiatrist, this Victoria Got Bottom

PhD is evaluating this guy and he's like, I just can't help it. These babes come all over me and I can't do anything about it. And she's like, oh, well, we should see about that. Like, it's really pornoy. Yeah, and I mean, we should I apologize, we missed one crucial

adjective with the psychiatrist. She's a sexy psychiatrist. Oh, yeah, you're right. Sexy Ph.D. And she's got her glasses and uh-oh, those glasses are coming off and here goes the hair bun. And this woman just like rips her shirt wide open and starts making out with this thing. Throwing her career in the

toilet. She's like, you know what? Right in the fucking toilet. This 22 year old kid is so attractive. I can't, I'm not even going to like make up some liaison with him later. I want to have sex to in my office right now. And she's a psychiatrist, so that's eight years of medical school down the training. All the specialized

training in psychiatry. And you're done. You're blacklisted in the educational community. She better go working. I'm in the medical community. Don't worry about it. She's not touching anybody. She's not practicing shit. She better start learning how to flip burgers. That's either that or tie a noose. Yeah. One of the other.

Flip burgers or kill yourself. And the dean walks in and goes, Harrop! Oh, Dean Dewberry. now not enough with this snooty dean because the dean we wind up getting once we get to Hamburger University is not that much of a snooty dean

he's more of a basket case yeah and I don't in these 80s boob comedies especially the college comedies I want my school administrator to be an uptight jerk I don't need wacky guy who's kind of okay

that's the problem like the dean isn't the enemy in this movie Dean's always got to be the enemy the crusty old dean Well, the thing is, this is, this movie reminds me a lot of police academy. Yeah, it should. And it, because it's ripping it off for really, really hardcore. And I think he's more of the, the Richard Mulligan of the, of the, of the institution. With, uh, Dick Butkus, who we'll see as the, whatever that guy was, the Harris, the Harris, yeah, Lieutenant Harris.

Yeah, yeah. I can see that. That makes sense. And, uh, you know, this, this guy, you know, actually speaking of the antagonist, besides our lieutenant Harris, but really is this guy's sex appeal. His own sex appeal. He's engineering his own downfall.

He's got like the Cavorca. It's that 1980s trope of Pretty Boy douchebag that we're supposed to follow and like. Yeah. Like, you know, usually like you'd have a lovable loser situation in this scenario, but your boob comedy can go either way.

It's either a lovable loser who can't get late at all. Or such a cool guy. Such a super cool guy that's All the right answers. But the traditional, you know, just the right guy who has all the answers, in this movie, not in this movie, in all the other times where you see that character, he's also like the scheming jerk off. Yep. But in this movie, what they do is they take that, like, 80s boob comedy male archetype and split it in half. And so our hero is just the guy who's like laid back.

He's kind of an idiot. you know he's not trying to cause anybody any harm but he's just so damn sexy that he can't stop having sex and then they have this additional lethario character who's the one that's scheming to get off campus all the time and fucking the dean's wife and all that stuff so you're dealing with two people well it seems like the the laundry list of schools he got like kicked out of in the beginning of the movie is depicting like four boob comedies we've never seen i want to watch those boob comedy oh man the prequels like if they went back and made, like, those three other colleges that he got kicked out of? I know, I really think there's a prequel trilogy here, sort of illustrating how we got to the point we find our heroine in in Hamburg or the motion picture.

Yeah, and Sabalba is available for the dean. Just as just to start it out there that once you make those 3D models, Stephen, you can use them over and over again. It's not going to cost you any more money. They don't get old. They don't get old and die like Sir Alec did. And in the first movie, you get to see him as a little kid learning this, learning how to, how to you, harness his sex appeal for the first time. He's got the

sex of chlorine, Steven. This kid's got sex a chlorine, count up the wazoo. He's going to be really handsome. So the other part of this thing, what makes this ridiculous and like the quote unquote engine of this movie is he's been kicked out of

so many schools and his grandfather left him $250,000 in 1986 money. Yeah, that's enough of sneeze at. I don't know if I calculate. I think it's $15 billion now. I think that's what it would work out to. Yeah. And, you know, he's going to, he can only get it if he just graduates from any old university. Now, anyone else would go to community college, get an associate's degree. Just do it. Easy peasy. You know, you're there three days a week. You commute from home. This guy sees a commercial for come to our burger university so you can learn how to be a fast food chain manager in 12 weeks. In 12 weeks. In 12 weeks, free of charge because the other thing is his parents finally say we're done paying your tuition because you keep literally fucking yourself out of school so we're done with this shit good luck getting this inheritance now but does this guy realize that this hamburger university is not a real

university like come on that's the thing it's never addressed because is it accredited yes it's definitely not accredited it's a certificate at best you're not getting a diploma of any kind. But I mean, a certificate for what? For enduring someone else's insane machinations for 12 weeks. But so, but then flash forward, right?

So maybe like the sequel to Hamburger the motion picture, or like the little video piece you would see at the start of Hamburger the ride. Right? Where it's like the, our hero goes to the, his grandfather's estate attorney. Yeah. And he's like,

well, here it is. Here is. Here's my degree from Hamburger University and then gets laughed out of the office. Oh, well it's got university in the title. Here's your trust fund. Here's $250,000. Keep being a cool dude. Hey, hang ten.

Hey, party on. I wish that was the end of this movie. Because it doesn't mean, you're right. They dropped the entire notion of him. He never again mentions $250,000. in this movie. Like, you know that's why he's doing it

because he does go in the straight and arrow, which is actually kind of annoying for our slacker character that we want him, we want him to be the instigator man. Yeah, I want him fucking with the dean. I want him sneaking off campus. I want him doing some kind of a penny raid,

organizing some sort of shenanigans. You know what? No booze and no drugs in this movie. I don't know what. Like, this is just for like Christians. You know, like just, it's just diet coke and hamburgers. That's the whole movie. There's there, there are whoppers

of sex involved. Yeah, that's true. I guess Christians would like this so much. We get to see, you know, a guy go down on a woman. That's like, God. Oh, get ready for that, everybody. So he decides he's going to go

enlist at Hamburger University. And again, let's just take one second. This guy who's running it, this like eccentric billionaire type is giving these degrees away all expenses paid whether you

fail or pass. And it's not like up against your check, you know what I mean? Like you pay off the installments. No, no, no, no, no. Right. 12 weeks, food, bored, plane fare to, like, Colorado or someplace. It's in Colorado, yeah. So that's why we've never heard of Buster Burger because they would belly up super quick.

Yeah, because that's the chain. That's the chain. Yeah, Buster Burger is the name of the chain. They keep paying for all these idiots to come to this fucking hamburger school. There's a great scene where our cool dude goes down to a Buster Burger franchise and, like, just talks to us. like some older guy that's like got it all figured out he's making plans to climb up the buster burger corporate ladder yeah he's all like hey you know you should really give that buster burger university a try because uh i'm running this franchise and it's probably the best thing

in the world also at this scene an old lady dies oh so we're introduced like what it's like to go and try to order food at a buster burger yeah they're a little crass they're a little crass and i guess that you know they're thinking we're going to try to mind some comedy here jokes on them you talk about everybody you talk to a giant pickle and it talks but you know it's got the intercom in the pickle right so this pickle statue is yelling at this old woman really giving this old lady fucking shit she tells the pickle tells this old lady to to shove her car where the sun don't shine and then this woman has a heart attack and dies she was offended to death get ready middle america here comes hamburg at the movie you will be offended to death yeah not fucking around we're not fucking around and then like there's a there's a ridiculous like passing line where this guy like runs up to the manager while he's talking to our cool dude and he's like hey mr johansson some old lady died in the drive-thru and the guy's like be sure you cancel her order i'm like fucking fuck you how about that have you called the cops anybody

Oh, just Why don't you go ahead Switch your car into neutral Give it a good push into the street Hellenobottom Carter comes out and makes hamburgers out of her Sings a song about it Just dancing The new Busterburger meat pies

Honestly, I could use a Sweeney Todd-esque rendition Of hamburgers for America Oh yeah, totally Hamburgers for America You're gonna eat it You're gonna eat it eat it. I'm Johnny Depp singing songs in a movie.

Oh, okay. Now let's cut to two four long teens staring at each other for 15 minutes. All right, back to a song. So he enrolls in a hamburger university. And he gets there. And just like all these movies, just like Hot Dog the movie,

just like all the rest of them, we have to be introduced. Roll call. Yeah, it's our rag tag group of losers. And this is a pretty special bunch. So we've got a lady, there's an Hispanic woman. She is from the country of guacamole, says the movie. This is where you're about to turn the movie off. Oh, I get it.

It's incredibly racist. And it gets so, so much worse. The racism in this movie is outrageous. This is why you've never heard of it, folks at home. Yeah, because it's been buried by progress. This is not going to be on TV. at any time in the 90s. Like this movie, like, it had it right in its hand, right?

Like, this movie could have been a cult classic, but it's the most racist piece of garbage. And I don't even think they cared. Nobody cared. It's all, like, fun racism. Yeah, quote unquote. It's hamburger for Americans. Not hamburgers for America. For Americans.

I'm not going to give you a fucking burger with your goddamn green. card. Please pull up to the window and have your long-form birth certificate out. What are you from guacamole? We are not fucking around. We are part of the NRA. Get some good clan in this country. What a side of fucking freedom with that burger? You serve freedom fries only, Frenchie. You get the, you ask for the buster bill. You get the fucking horns.

So you got that. You go to a nun, which doesn't make any sense. Because if you're going to school to earn a degree in burger franchising, you're dropping the habit. You can't juggle being a nun and managing a restaurant. They don't let you do that. She's got the full outfit on, too. She's still in the fucking penguin suit. And it's a great drop line of like, who cares?

Because they're like, sister, why are you joining this? She's like, I had a vision. It's like, okay. See, you never agree. again. That's what they do. Cuckoo. Cuckoo. Next. Oh, there's a nerd. Who looks like Alan Tudick, by the way. He does. If I was going to remake Hamburger the motion picture, which I might. Now with 100% less racist. I was going to say, you can get, you can get like Sean Hannity money if you go. I get Sean Hannity, Tucker Carlson. Who else? Ann Coulter, that fucking skeletal piece of horse shit. Can't forget Rush. Don't forget Rush. Oh, man. Executive

producer Rush Limbaugh. They'll make me retitle it hamburgers for Americans, but I'd be okay with it. And it'd be oxy cotton scenes everywhere. The thing about it is there should be popping a lot of blues right now. Way more blues.

Where are the blues? Yeah, it's a good time, according to Rush Limbaugh. So oddly, there are actually more hamburgers in the movie now. A puppy just set with hamburgers. More burgers.

Burger for me, burger for set. I want one craft services, unsacked, and one in my office. So one of the other characters that were introduced here is the guy that's the real horn dog. Right. That is sort of our sexual conduit now that our protagonist is trying to be on the straight and narrow and not sleep with every woman he sees. He's your Hawaiian shirt, checker jacket kind of guy. He's also like vaguely Italian, like New Yorkish kind of. By the way, Andrew.

Yes. And this main fact blow your mind. Or you may know it already. Okay. Remember in Hot Dog the movie? Yes. Remember Lester the Molester? The guy who runs the wet t-shirt contest.

Yeah. Same actor. It's the same guy? According to the IMD. Although it does not say Lester the Malester. It says wet t-shirt contest MC, which is, I guess, a classier title. Well, that's what it said in the script. Lester the Mollester was just ad-libbed on set that day.

And they shot that disgusting wet t-shirt scene. But that's another crossover. It's another, like this was a real, they're trying to blend worlds here. It's another Marvel extended universe. Oh, it is. Oh, my God. First we had a Braxas and the principal, now Hot Talk the movie, and Hamburger the motion fiction. And triumph of the will also.

It's part of that same universe as well. And Roger Corman's the intruder. It's all of the same world. So we get a big fat guy, which, I mean, This movie, for a movie that loves hamburgers, this movie sure does hate fat people. Hates the fuck out of fat people. Holy crap. This movie, I mean, this movie hates Hispanic people, black people, gay people, but especially fat people.

Oh, my God. It's like, holy shit. It's amazing because it's insanely amazing. Because it's that fat person hate where you have, you take into account nothing else about being overweight, not like, you know, societal, not like, you know, societal, not like. Like, you know, just glandular, blah, blah. It's like, no. Every fat person, all they do every single second of every single thing is trying to eat as many hamburgers as they can. And they'll steal it right out of your hands because they're so fucking fat.

Listen, when our fat pig isn't talking, he's eating. You get eaten, fatty. And if he's talking, he's talking about food, he's thinking about food. He's got food underwear. He's got food T-shirts. He just loves food so fucking much. And the gag that I brought up, if you remember our episode on Joysticks, where I decided to do the old is this obese actor

dead or alive okay in this film feel free to make fun of this guy all you want because this gentleman is still alive still kicking speaking of people in this movie that may or may not be dead I I was bruising the IMDB message boards

and there was like a list like hey guys like who's the sexiest chick in this movie man and like one person comment in like how he thought Victoria Godbottom was the best, but I think she's dead now. No, there's some freaks out there. There's some freaks on those IMDB message boards.

Yeah, there's some dangerous customers. There are. And if you look like sometimes we do a little research, like when we do like films that qualify for side order or sleaze, those especially are like, whatever happened to her, it's a sin that she didn't have a bigger career. With a rack like that.

I don't know why it just got Jesse Ventura a little bit. He's definitely posting on IMDV. With a rack like that, I can't imagine how she didn't get more work. I feel like Ventura is posting an IMDB, just like on every movie he's done being like, hello? And that's it. He thinks it's like a chat room? Yeah, and then he just never comes back.

Oh, this movie would make a great... Oh, this movie would be a great teaching tool for second graders. You get to learn how to count tens. A whole lot of tens in this movie. I can't even do the voice right now. 10, 20, 30, 40, so many tens. I am a little concerned that the movie may have been directed by Secundus. Slightly concerned.

You see that director? Do you see that director? I can't even do the voice. You see that director with puffy pants And the beret back there You think that might have been secondish I'm not really in a position to discriminate Because honestly, works work

Secondus or no secondus I'm just going to keep counten tens So speaking of berets Oh yeah, nice What a great transition Yeah Dick Buccas plays this drill sergeant

what's the last Drudus I think it's Druddin Rude Drew could we just keep talking I'll use the internet Okay yeah you use that internet Look up some tens

So he basically He's got a beret on Because he's basically dressed As an approximation of Ronald McDonald's Needs Saddam Hussein He's a warlord of this movie, Italy. Nail on the head.

I wish his mustache was colored red. The more fillet. But, you know, it's ketchup uniform. Yeah. Mustard trim. You know. His name is Dr. Dr.O.O.10.

And if you're like, and, you know, he's giving everyone to business. And he's like, you know, I don't want to layabouts. You know, he instantly takes a, you know, gives the evil eye to our hero here, our 40-year-old college student hero. I think his name is Russell, by the way. And then in comes, in comes the weirdest part of the movie and one of the most offensive. Holy shit. One of the most offensive 30 seconds you'll see in a movie. Yeah, go.

Yeah. And, you know, we're about 15 minutes in you're like, you know, I haven't seen an African-American at all in this movie. And I mean, maybe we're just going to avoid it. Maybe it's such a hot button issue in the 1980s. We're just going to not have black people in our movie and forget about it. Oh, it takes place in Colorado. I've never been out there. I don't know what's going on.

We've got a Latino. We can make fun of her all day. That's fine. She is from a country called guacamole. No, no. A police car shows up with a black guy in the back seat. Oh, man. In handcuffs.

And I sentenced you to Hamburger University. Apparently he was picked up. We don't know what the charge was. It's never specified, which leads me to believe there's kind of not really a charge. You think it was a DWB situation? I honestly think so. Yeah. What's a DWB?

Driving Wells Black. Ooh. Yeah, no, that'll get you. In Colorado in the 1980s, very possible. So he's getting dragged out of this car, and he's, like, screaming at them. Like, tell me what I'm charged with. What is going to? You can't just arrest somebody.

What are the charges? He's like, I'm a musician in Los Angeles. he's got to describe me he's a very tall dude he kind of has a rick james a faux rick james thing going on it's like a rick jamesy princey thing but he's really tall this actor also played mohammed ali in something uh his name is magnito jones magnito jones is the stage name which is awesome yeah so this guy's like screaming like what are the charges what is going on and the guy like uh fucking sergeant slaughter himself druton comes up and he's just like he's like now here's the deal we keep getting a lot of shit

from people saying that Hamburger University doesn't hire blacks. Well, you're here to prove us wrong and you're going to graduate. And you're just like, wow, you're so comfortable with this fucking racism, Dick Buckus. What is going on? Honestly, yeah.

I'm sorry for disparaging Saddam Hussein earlier. The great name of Saddam Hussein. This guy is a sick customer. It's outrageous. It's rotten. We've got this guy who's kind of just kidnapped into being part of Hamburger University so they can prove to who, the investors?

Like, I don't even know who's weighing the supposed criticism. And I'm sorry, when you bring this guy into a compan, when he eventually leaves, he's going to tell the story of the time he was abducted. Yeah, you can't just force someone through a certificate program.

You're going to fucking go to University of Phoenix and you're going to like it. And I might to understand in the entire fast food industry, there's not one African-American person that would like to be a manager of a fucking fast food? Fucking God damn it!

Sorry! It makes me bad. Not if you have to go to this fucking hamburger college where the main dude is a goose stepping Dick Butkus. Which there is goose stepping shown in this movie and it's fucking weird. Oh shit, I missed it.

When they get to Hamburg University and there's just a bunch of B-roll of the campus, there's a line of people dressed exactly like Dick Butkus goose stepping in front of a fountain. Oh, that's pretty cool. Really putting the pieces together here, Hamburger the motion picture.

Oh, that's, oh, you know what? That makes sense because of the shared universe with Triumph of the Will. Yeah, yeah, it's all... Exactly. Just the natural extension. Putting the puzzle pieces together. So we are told by Dick Butkiss

that, you know, you're here to study Burgerology, which is a thing they totally say more than once in this point. There's a lot of ologies. Geez, we'll get to it. But, so he says this, you know, the stipulations are you're not allowed to leave campus until you graduate, which is pretty weird. You are not allowed to smoke.

You're not allowed to drink and you're not allowed to have sex because all of these things weaken your ability to study how to make a cheeseburger or something. It's true, it's true, you know, whenever I do all those things and I try to fire up the grill, God, good luck. You got two left hands. Yeah, it's not going to happen. I really think this is a cult. Like, the more you look at this movie, it's a cult. But it's just like, you know, you cut all this stuff out from people and then it's easier to break them down.

You got Magneto Jones in chains in this movie. Literally in chains. Now, here's the thing, though, unlike every other cult that's ever existed in the history of cults. And like, the big cults and the little cults. They all do one similar thing. And that's ask idiots for money. How are we going to keep this cult going? You got to donate.

Jim Jones made his followers sell off all their possessions before they moved to Jones down, right? But this is what doesn't make sense about Hamburg University. They pay for you to come here. You'd think if it's a real cult, like a real honest-to-goodness cult, like a cool-a-goodness cult, like Kool-Aid, drink, and cull. This guy's asking you for $15,000 up front. Like a real college. No, it's really strange.

And they just, they want to break everyone down. And, you know, we finally get to our dorm rooms. Everyone sleeps on a fucking hamburger for no reason. I should say dorm room because we're not paying for more than one dorm room. Yeah, no, it's just the same dorm room over and over and over again. There's two big hamburger beds. Our hero, Russell, is shack it up with. this buddy Fred Domino is that character

name. These big hamburgers looks like a fucking Klaus Oldenberg like sculpture. And where is I going? Dude, this movie is so mind-sturringly ridiculous. You got something? Yeah.

You know, soon after this is one of the first I mean... Oh, this is what I was going to say. What the fat guy does to ward off his food cravings. Let's talk about that first. Because, like, He's so fucking crazy about food he needs to eat it all the fucking.

They're like, hey, fat guy, how are you going to be in this college if you're going to eat all the hamburgers? Well, that's Dick Butkiss. He's like, you better not be eating the food in class, you fat fuck. Instead of saying, actually, I'm a person and I have like three meals a day and I know. No, you don't. I know when I should eat and when I shouldn't. Maybe I over eat. Maybe I make some bad choices.

So this fat guy, instead of any of that is like, no, no, no, you're right, Dick Butchis. I'm an uncontrollable eating machine. I'm a hungry, hungry hippo. And the only way I can prevent myself from constantly shoving food down this gullet is to electrocute myself.

And he's got this little device that he hooks onto his finger and starts zapping the shit. Like there's sparks flying. It's not just a shock or whatever. He's like for like a minute and a half. I admittedly laughed heartily every time

that guy did that. That got you, huh? Well, it reminded me, like, it's like a Chris Farley gang. Yeah, you know. He sells it. He really fucking sells it. Sir, just because I love food doesn't mean I can't work around it without eating all the time. For instance, what if I get the urge to eat a box of

buster chip cookies? Give me that. Out comes my fat boy pocket, shocker. And? The other binge bites the dust. You tub of crap. So the dean comes up and he's like, he's also the dean is also the kindly owner of Buster Burgers. Right.

He's the, he's the, he's the, he's the, he's the, he's the, he's the, he's the, he's the, for, for you. kids who remember Ray Crock. Probably you kids out there from 1950. He's the founder of McDonald's. Yeah, he's also got like a Monty Burns thing going on here. Just in his general appearance, mostly. Yeah, he's got a beak.

He does have a little bit of a beak. He could also, if this, this is a dude from this movie who's definitely dead now, but if he wasn't dead now, he could play vulture in one of them Spider-Man sequels that they've been setting up that vulture's going to be in. He is, he's alive actually. What this? That old

guy. Yeah, he's still kicking around. Are you serious? Yeah. No, people forgot about him, didn't update IMDB. Oh, man. That's embarrassing. That's got to be it, right? You know what? Speaking of that, at the time we're recording this episode, okay, the day before, the great Gordon Willis passed away. Amazing cinematographers shot Annie Hall, Manhattan, Godfather Trilogy, right? Amazing dude. I hear the news. I see like the variety thing, right? Go to I, IMDB. And I'm like, IMDB has got to have it up. And it's just headline after headline of fucking Miley Cyrus farted and fucking Thor did this. Meanwhile, this legend is dead and they can't be bothered to fucking update it. I like this world in which Thor is getting into

headline news left and right, getting into all sorts of screens. He kind of is, man. Like, can we all just like shut up about Thor for a second? Like not all of us love those movies, let's just like maybe we can talk about someone who actually did something into further cinema, huh? Yeah, that's just that fucking piss me off, man. Thor's getting drunk in the viper room. Thor and Logan get fucked up

in the viper room. See, that's the thing is Thor was there that night with River Phoenix. Oh my God. Why did you step in, Thor? And then Thor is just like, hoo ha, ooh, ha, ooh, better high tail it to Asgard.

The CN20. 11 or when the hell that movie came out Idris Alba fire up the gate I gotta get going so the dean right he's like listen handsome guy

fat guy Latina black guy that I kidnapped I'm having a big party at my mansion that's also on campus I guess because they're not allowed to leave the campus

I'm going to shell another quarter of a million dollars on this party on this hamburger party oh yeah by by the way I want to quickly mention that the Hispanic woman sees our hero and is just so enamored that she wants to rape him. And he's got a great casual racist line. He's like, I'm here to go to university. I'm not here to father some guacamolean freedom fighter.

Holy moly. Because if you live anywhere in Latin America, you're a freedom fighter. You have to be a freedom fighter. There's several civil wars going on at any given time. And I can't be bothered to think about which is which. You're either a freedom fighter or you're slinging Coke. Yeah. It's one of the other, according to Hamburger, the motion picture.

Meanwhile, hamburgers for America, Ronald Reagan, selling arms to all of them. I don't discriminate which hamburgers I sell guns to. Wait, what? Oh, you know what I saw the other day, Mommy? Hamburger the movie. It was a real laugh, Ryan. A real hooter. I don't understand, Mr. Plankhammed.

President, I'm Mikhail Gorbachev. I'm not this mommy. You know, Mikhail, if there's one true representation of my great land that you should see for your great land to use his inspiration, it's hamburger the motion picture. It's a real treat. Real laugh riot, mommy. So anyway, this dean's having a fucking party.

And it's just, we're reintroduced to all the same stereotypes, but now we're just in front of a pool. But we also learn. that one, the dean, has a real babe-alicious wife. Mrs. Vunk. Mrs. Vunk, who's like 19. And this dude's decrepedly old. Is she 19? I think she was like 39.

I mean, I think she's supposed to be like 20-something with this actresses. And there's this weird backstory where they're like, oh, you know, what happened to the first Mrs. Funk? Oh, yeah. And she's like, oh, I was visiting. And then she died. And then I married her husband. talk to you later movie you're like wait what but it's am i wrong in remembering that it's like a burger related death it wasn't like she got food poised it was like salmonella or she choked on a cheeseburger

or some horse shit like i guess that really is the only way you're going to go if you're married to a burger magnet died in the line of duty and you know we're also introduced to the his daughter the burger magnate's daughter who's like your standard brown hair nice girl that you know probably Just needs to meet the right guy who happens to be our fucking hero. Well, the other thing about this woman, Mia Vunk, right? You know, she's probably got a nice, like, masters in English literature or something like that. She could be actually teaching, you know, at a nice, like, small liberal arts college in Vermont or something like that. But she's stuck instructing burgerology classes at her dad's dumb hamburger school.

Oh, they also got onionology. And this is where Professor Mia Vunk gets all the students in the room together to chop onions while she wears a gas mask. And everyone's crying. And this is how they learn what an onion is and how to work. What fucking moron doesn't know what an onion is by the time you get to college age. But I guess you like chop it up and you learn how to really put it on a burger, which you probably don't know. I mean, you guys don't have a degree in this. No, I don't. It's true. We don't have degrees in making cheeseburgers.

Really, if the joke isn't racist or homophobic or sexist, it's, you have to use the Rodney Dangerfield, like, soundboard. It's like, careful with that joke, and it's got cobwebs on. Because that's like every single fucking old, it's either, it's like the oldest dad joke you've ever heard in your fucking life. Or the oldest racist dad joke you've ever, never wanted it here in your life. It's one of the other. Yeah, exactly. The oldest, weird email chain your dad forwards you. Oh, aren't those great? People of Walmart, everybody. Guess what? It never isn't funny.

Oh, so the whole thing, too, I don't think we mention this, but so the daughter, the Dean's daughter, is dating Dick Butkus. Oh. Figure that out. It doesn't make any sense. She clearly despises everything about him. Yeah, she does, because she's like, you know, a liberal. you know lady that's just you know hanging out and she's liberal she's a lady so she obviously would despise

dick buckets and his hate speech and his goose steps it's just one of those things where he's just like yeah and you know the other thing is we're going to get engaged and she's like uh huh she's got a ring

like a pre engagement engagement ring and it's like you know what darling the other day I had an erection for three hours what does that do for you nothing that's weird you want to watch me trim my mustache that'll get you warm up where you need oh man look at that black please don't talk about him please no but look at him he's making me you know what i mean diane you know what i mean i don't have to tell you my name's mea but speaking of speaking of magnito jones checking in with him for a second in onionology by the way

He's still in handcuffs. He's wearing, like, the school uniform, and he's still in handcuffs. God damn it. What the fuck. Like, here's a thing. How does he go to the bathroom? Dick Bruckus help, man? I'm not going to help him do fucking shit.

I mean, like, really, it's easy fix for Magneto Jones. Either, A, just have a black character that's kind of stereotypical, like your Hispanic character, that's there on their own accord, which would be bad enough. Yes, she wasn't kidnapped and brought to the campus. No, she just wants to be a hamburger man. She just jumped across the border. Or. That's not me. That's Dick Buckner.

Yeah, yeah, sure. Or he is a guy that's an actual criminal. Like, he killed people. And they're like, this is the only guy we can get. And he's an actual like, oh, look out for that guy. He's a real criminal. Not have this innocent pop star to be. Yeah, I feel like this guy's like right at the cusp of being famous for making music.

I feel like there's a whole other movie going on. I want to watch the Magneto Jones movie. Right. Like he's getting ready to go to the biggest gig of his life. He's going to play the Viper Room. There's going to be celebrities there. There's Thor might make an appearance. And then right before getting to there, you know, he's getting the tour van all set up.

And then he's just abducted and taken to this weird burger cult. You know, I auditioned for Magneto Jones, but then I realized I wouldn't be in that film. because it was horrible. I read the first line Dick Butkus said to Magneto Jones and I withdrew to play Magneto another day. By the way, my Ian McKellan

and Patrick Stewart, same impression. Don't worry about it. Don't worry about it. Yeah, it's okay. It's really okay. It's really fine. Nothing wrong with it. Oh, also at this party,

the fat guy has another fat guy attack and causes a real scene. Well, it doesn't. make any sense because he's not trying to lose weight. It's not like, oh, I need to lose weight to be a hamburger manager. He just doesn't want to get in trouble at hamburgers school. But there's hamburgers out there for everyone

to eat. Like, if that's what the cafeteria is serving, this man has to eat something. Yeah, just let him go. Let him enjoy his hamburger. No, he's going to eat electricity instead. What's insane, too, is like, the scene starts

with the nun, is standing in front of this table full of burgers. Who, by the way, everyone has to have a school uniform on, and it's this red, white, or mustard thing. And the nun has a ketchup habit on at this point. Yeah. It is, they made... You can't do both. You made her her own uniform? Plenty of nuns come through here. We finally have a nun-enrolling. Get out

the nun ketchup habit. I still got a backlog of Monk brother robes. Haven't had one from the Abbey in a while. Hey, heads up. Someone finally enrolled from Napoleonic France. Get that hat. What? Julius Caesar.

Get the ketchup robe out. We just so happen to have it. So the nun is standing in front of this spread of all hamburgers. And she's like, my, look at all these glorious hamburgers. and this fat guy Like the wolf man Like runs up behind this woman Grabs her by the shoulder

And throws her out of the way And it's like Tom Tom Look at all these delicious hamburgers And this woman's like dead Like I think she gets thrown in the pool or something Like why can't he just be like Oh great hamburgers

I'd like one Or maybe to be morbidly obese I'll have three But it'll be fine And I'll eat them at a normal pace And that's the end End of it. No, I have to electrocute myself and fall into a bunch of people.

And assault at none. And knock everybody into this pool. What I don't understand, and it would have been awesome. Yeah, I know you're going. If the fat guy falls into the pool with this gadget turned on, and then he just zaps all these fucking people, you lose every obnoxious stereotypical character. And then what's amazing is everyone is dead and smoking in this pool,

like at the end of Chud, too. and then Magneto Jones walks into the backyard and he's like, hey, what happened? I was in the bathroom. And there's just no one around and he just like quietly backs away. Yeah, it's either that or he gets the death penalty. Oh, absolutely.

And then Johnny Depp comes out, more meat for my hamburgers singing in the movie. And then he goes back to the Viper room. Oh, he owned it. He was there that night. Yeah, he was there. He was, him and Thor were there.

Thor comes. He's like, sorry I missed your set, Magneto Jones. The bifrost was broken again. Maybe you should take it easy and not do so much tonight. You got your whole life ahead of you.

Oh, mercy. Another thing that's really stupid, and I don't remember all of the lines, but the leader, the father, whatever you want to call this guy, is he's giving a lecture on what you say to a noxious customers and there's lines like uh like there's nothing in the bylaws that says i have to serve assholes like you put this yeah put this back motherfucker yeah that's like the big

famous line from this movie like i mentioned when i watched this movie a couple months ago like i did a letterbox thing on it and uh everybody was like put those cookies down motherfucker i was like oh this movie's got a following a little bit of a dialogue following i think back in i think back in 1986 or so, it was actually like way funnier for an old man to be cursing. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, what?

What? He said, what? Yeah. That's why Ruth Gordon was supposed to be hilarious in every which way to lose, you know? It's just not funny. It's not fun. It's not cute. No, I don't

care for it. I really don't. Hey, can we talk about the this professor character, like the scientist? Yes, please. Bad scientist. So this dude at one point is seen doing some sort of pickle surgery. There's like a giant pickle and they do some like, there's some weird, like surreal scenes in this movie. Like the pickle flatlines and the guy's like, oh, but don't worry, she was pregnant and pulls out like a little pickle.

And he's like, look at the gurkin. It's fucking weird. And then he pulls out two more and says, oh, now here are some twins. And I was like, how is this helping you run a fast food restaurant? This is a movie where the philosophy was clearly order props first, write script later. Like, well, it was just a bad whose line is in any way. Like, what could we do with this foam packing peanut? Like, oh, I guess it's birth control pill.

It just makes no. I mean, there are some things that we'll get to later that make even less sense. The torture chamber? No, that makes perfect sense. The torture chamber is at least semi-grounded in reality. I'm talking about the shower rooms. Oh, yeah, yeah. Well, we'll get to that.

I mean, mostly it's just, you know, a montage of all these, you know, onionology, pun, pun, pun. The thrust of the movie kind of fizzles out. The real thrust is Fred Domino is trying to get Russell laid and trying to get Russell to get into some crazy shenanigan. Fred Domino's always got a bunch of props with him. He pulls out a blow-up doll, obviously. Look, I'm going to a hamburger school. What do I need? rubbers, a couple of airplane bottles of vodka.

Oh, my blow-up doll. Of course, I can't forget. Mom, did I pack my blow-up doll for hamburger college? Let me just press this button again. Oh, careful with that joke kid. It's got cobwebs on it. Over and over again. Whenever you want to use it.

Yeah, it's horrendous. All these dream sequences and stuff, there might as well be dream sequences, but they are supposedly classes that these people are taking. we take a little diversion to go get some Chinese food. You got, you know what? Because listen, we got to sneak off campus. And the only way to get off campus is do horrendous impressions of a Chinese guy. Well, he's like, hey, you know, because he's like, hey, man, come on, let's have a good time.

Let's go out and go drink. And he's like, no, I can't drink. I'm going to get $250,000. And he's like, okay, let's go get laid. I can't do that. And he's like, want to you get some Chinese food? And he's like, that I will risk my entire few. future for.

So, we're at this Chinese restaurant, and who happens to be there? But a couple of bodacious babes we met earlier, the dean's wife and the dean's daughter. This woman's a loser. I'm so, like, if you're, first of all, your, your, your whole job is you're working at your dad's fake crazy burger college. You're dating dick butt kiss. You're hanging out with your dad's new fucking ditsy wife on your off hours. Like, come on.

Read a book, lady. Do something. Go to the movies. Go to the movies alone. Because he can't go to the movies with Dick Buckkiss. Hey, who's that guy? Who's that guy? It's those three reasons.

He's not following the movie. He's definitely picking the movie, which means you as the girlfriend are never going to see anything you want to see. And three, when he gets tired of not understanding what's happening in the movie, he's definitely trying something in the theater. Hey, no one's looking.

Just do it. Hey, no one's looking. Just do it. Keep it down. You, I'll pipe you down. I'm trying to get blown here. I got an erection. Hey, I did it.

He's definitely a guy that goes to some porno theaters, right? Oh, yeah, for sure. For sure. And, you know, I mean, we're dusted them all off here. You know, what are we going to order? The cream of some young guy. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

There's like a gang bang dish. Yeah. It's just like, and it's a weird thing where like the wife, because the wife, Because the wife, we already know, like, has the Hots for the Lothario character. Sure. So she's just like, you know, he's like, oh, maybe we'll have a plate of this, a plate of that. And she's like, oh, yeah, yeah, just keep ordering all this sexy Chinese food. As we discussed on My Science Project a couple weeks back, you know what?

You can't make sexy Chinese food. And they are really trying their best in this movie. And so they order, like, all this shit. And the gag, of course, is like, he's. He's like, oh, that's enough to feed an army or something like that. She's like, I guess it's enough to start. I'm like, oh, I get it. You're just ordering a ton of Chinese food.

So what they order is all these like, you know, uh, sex puns. And then a Mao say tongue. It's like, we do a chairman Mao joke? All right. Why not? Sure. All right. And then Dick Butchus shows up.

So now the two guys hide into the table. And this is when it gets really fucking filthy. So the guy, the buddy, you know, like, so our, our hero. Russell is like, man, here comes Dick Butt Kiss. Like, you know, I'm getting kicked out of school. By-bye, $250,000. Even though he doesn't say it because it's never mentioned again, except

for the first time at the beginning of the movie, but he's thinking it maybe. Adios, $250,000. But meanwhile, our friend at the other side of under the table just decides he's going to shove his face in Mrs. Dean's crotch and starts

going to town. And you're like, Where is the joke in this? It's sex in public. So like this woman, you know, the Dick Buck kisses, you know, he sits down. Yeah, he still doesn't know what's happening. He sees all the food there and he's like, oh, Mia, you know, you always trying to get you to eat Chinese food with me. Well, why don't we just eat here? So he sits down.

God, man, this fucking scumbag that's under there doing this. Oh, I love this part. This is where that guy goes down on that. 10. Yeah. 10, 20. Also, there's a horrendous line in this whole thing. Yes.

Because we've also established a little bit that Russell has a crush on the daughter. Yeah. Because they had a nice little conversation at the pool party that Dick Butkus did not approve of. So they're under the table. And this woman's, you know, clearly about to climax. And this guy's, like, we keep cutting back down under the table. And he, like, takes his face out from. beneath her dress and is like hey russell this is great i'm having the time of my life and then

he says i love eating out oh yeah yeah hey kid you're on thin ice i told you about those jokes there's a worst line no there is so then he one of the times he pulls his face away he's like this is so great i think i'll try a little from column b and like goes for the daughter and this dude is like hey man one crime at a time Yeah. And meanwhile, this, you know, Mia Vunk is up there at this table watching her stepmother orgasm. She's okay with it. She's like, oh, it's a sexy prank. This woman is like sweating. There's a close up on her chest and it's just covered in fake sweat. She's clearly about to have an orgasm. And Dick Buckus is just like, what's going on here?

The guy is shaking the table. And he's like, what's happening? And the daughter's like, uh, earthquake. And he's like, but none of the other. tables are getting Earthquaked? And he asks Mrs. Vunk, why is she sweating so much? She mentions like the spicy chicken or whatever and he's like, but you haven't even taken a bite yet.

He's like this stupid. He's this dense. He works at a hamburger college, Eric. You know what? Maybe he's not the sharpest tack in the drawer. And he's the gym teacher. Yeah, he's the gym teacher at a hamburger college. The guy's

fucking stupid. The scene is frustrating yeah it's just you just want to be like he's fucking going down on her put it together but kiss and then she she explodes yeah so hard sure that the table gets knocked over and oh dick buchess finally finds them cut to guantanamo bay right because remember this this school is insane now they they have a guard tower they've got guards with machine guns sure Actually, when these guys were escaping, there was a laundry truck with, they found Magneto Jones in the bag. This poor bastard.

Meanwhile, Freddie and Russell rode on the roof to get out. Oh, no, they're white. Forget it. Let them go. Yeah. So when they get back to the school, now they must face their torture, punishment for this. Because apparently you surrender your constitutional rights once you pass into the Busterberger University. That's the thing, right?

because it's a cult. It's a cult that doesn't ask for money, but it's a cult. And if you go against father, you're going to pay the price. Which is going into a pickle capsule that's like, you know, no bigger than you. It's like a statue. There's some sort of mascot, which is like, it looks like Mr. Peanut, but he's green. It's a pickle with a top hat is what you're dealing with. And, you know, they play the burger song over and over again until you fucking get it.

Well, now, let's be clear also. So there's the Burgers Across America song, which I played a little bit earlier. But then there's also the theme song of the Buster. Which is worse. It's worse. And here's a little bit of that. America, you're getting burger hungry.

Hungry for the burger that makes you full. You're chocolate for the taste of a Buster Burger. Our famous Buster Berber that's full of bowl. Big, rich shakes, crispy French fries. Our double big buster like full it satisfies. Our people are friendly, our stores are clean, too, and nothing but full is waiting for you. America, you're getting burger hungry,

hungry for the burger that makes you full. You're chomping for the taste of a buster burger, our famous buster burger that's full of all, the one and only buster burger that's full, full of all. So that's what they're listening. It's getting blasted into this pickle statue. And then what is it? Like honey mustard or something?

It's a special sauce. It is called torture sauce. Shut off. I'm serious. It's called torture sauce. I don't know what that means. Maybe some horseradish. Some wasabi?

I don't know. Oh, I think I saw Dick Butkus on late-night television doing torture sauce. Dick Butkus is torture sauce. Welcome back to torture sauce. I'm Dick Buttkiss. And if you don't like racist remarks, change the channel. Or get liking them. Because it's after midnight and this is mine.

Ten. Another ten. Hey, that, hey, that butchus is a real ten. I saw his late night talk show. He's a ten. I could get a ten pack of torture sauce for only, for only $5.99. I like to dip nuggets in torture sauce. It's pretty good.

You know, the one tried and true way A finder can trap Secundus Is to leave out a big ice cold bowl A torture sauce And hot spaghetti Ten Just counting the tens If you don't have that

Some of that Guy Fieri's donkey sauce It's a good substitute That is the real life jackass That would open a hamburger university Is that fucking idiot McDonald's. Well, yeah, this is actually, I should say it's based on a real facility that McDonald's has. It's in like Indiana or something.

But I don't think that they torture people. Well, yeah, well, they don't let that chicken out, man. And I don't think they kidnap African American people. They might. Rock and roll. Drown in my donkey sauce. That's punishment for leaving the campus. Booneo-neo-ne-ne-h-h-h-oh.

Oh, some extra mayo in that mustard. Ew. This is like the off-shoot, like, extreme with an X, like, burgerology. You try not to have Guy Fieri serve you mayonnaise. It's just not going to have it. Can I have a ham on rye with mustard? Extra mayo then. No, just mustard.

With mayonnaise dipping sauce. Hey, you want mayo on that tuna-neesh-swath salad, right? Beer now. Now I'm selling sushi. Why not? Male mustard. Hey, um, so that doctor that we mentioned, like, he's a real mingle here. I don't know, man.

He starts, so this nerd, the nerd character, because we got to find something for everybody to do. Oh, yeah. The nerd character comes up to him, he's like, oh, say, you're Dr. So-and-so. You made the famous burger, whatever the fuck. Yeah, I read, I read about it in the, uh, the fried food journal. The New England Journal of fast food. Fuck that. The nerd, by the way, is like a super fan of Busterberger.

Like he's grown up. His whole life has been working towards this moment. Yeah, he's a company man. This free fucking hamburger school. He's been working his whole life to get there. He's so excited. When we meet him, his Walkman's on, and you can hear that he's just listening to the Busterberger theme song.

So this guy's like, oh, I'm a big fan of your work. And he's like, oh, would you like to try this bar that I have? And he's like, is that the top secret burger bar I've heard so much about? It's a cheeseburger and a candy bar. And it's like... But yes, it is. Oh, you are correct. Yes.

So this guy's like, oh, you like radical things with fast food, huh? Well, I got a couple of projects. I would love your help on. Cut to this nerds strapped to a table. And the doctor, it's the doctor and the dean. And the dean's like, oh, doctor. useless character. Are you ready for the experiment? And I swear to

God, the guy says something about yeah, he's filled with three quarts of bird come. I've given him 20 cc's a bird cum. Yeah, it's weird. It's because they're just trying to make chicken jokes. Like they kind of genetically

modified his kid to turn him into a chicken. So he starts becoming a chicken. We'll just get this. Hey, too. I love chicken. Oh, now I am one. That's ridiculous. Hey, cool, I'll eat my own thigh. Yeah, exactly. It seems like Buster Burger University is this dystopian Nazi society that they're trying to turn human beings into chickens so that we could potentially eat them.

Because this kid starts getting feathers later. He's, you know, doing the balking. He's clucking. Yeah, clucking. He's bach, bach, bachn all over the place. He even lays an egg. This is the shower scene that I was talking about. So at one point, this guy's trying to go through a security checkpoint to get into the top secret laboratory at this hamburger college.

Is everyone paying attention? The monitor goes off and these two security guards are like, oh, right this way, nerdlinger. Cut to this guy strip naked. He's got nothing but a pair of boxer briefs on. And he's in this steamy shower room. And you're like, what is going on? And the security guard is like, take it away, ladies. and then out of the fog and the steam

comes these two large women in one-piece bathing suits with like headdresses on. No, welders masks. It's welders masks? Yeah, because they're like, because they don't want to. They're scientists, please. Remember, we're in the science. Oh, they're like flipped up.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So then they like take this guy like, come with us, come with us. And they back into the steam. You hear like a whole lot of clucking sounds. And then this. dude walks back out and he's holding an egg and he's like thanks a lot girls like I needed that so

oh I needed that yes there's a sexual element they jerked him off and an egg came out of his ass that's what happened yeah that is what happened I think a chicken human hybrid male that's how they would lay an egg we got to talk about the Hispanic girls attempted rape well this is it we're just we're bouncing and this is a real vignette movie which is interesting because usually in

boob comedies. There's always an attempted rape. Almost always. Usually it's the other way around. That's the one thing I was going to say. The one thing this movie has going for it, it's reversing the gender politics ever so slightly. She has a machine gun. He's

turned her down a couple of times already. Yeah. And he's trying to study and the roommate's like, well, I'm going to go get it wet. See ya. And then the door closes, instant knock on the door and he opens the door like, what did you forget? Your condoms? She runs in totally topless with a machine gun.

Because she's Latin American and they all have machine guns, Andrew. I don't know if you know that. You get one when you're born. Oh, yeah. It's when you become a freedom fighter. She's got this gun pointed at his heart. And she's like, you know, you can't turn me down now, blah, blah, blah. And you're like, this is getting weird.

And then he's trying to get out of it. And she goes, you will do as I say. Or I will scream rape. And you're like, what? how did anyone think that this shit was going to fucking fly? And she starts shrieking to show that she means it. So he has to cover her voice and like kind of get her to the bed to at least play along at first. Well, he's got to kill some time until he thinks of a way out of this jam.

But the threat of death isn't enough? Like the threat of being imprisoned as a rapist is worse. So his way out of it is to pretend that he's gay. And he starts talking about how he's fucking the room. mate. He puts on unoffensive accents. No. This is redonculus.

It's your 1980s We're making fun a gay guy joke. I've never seen a movie be racist and homophobic at the same time before. It's a real. You're hitting the triple crown. It's a hat trick. It's really a hat trick. And so...

All they did the fat guy to come and be like, oh, I'm going to have diabetes and run out. Like then it would have been a real hat. Honestly, diabetes or diarrhea. You know what? Both. I would have, I would have loved the movie even more. Oh, my blood sugar. Oh, my ass. I better eat more

hamburgers. Geek. So, to get out of this situation because also, like, she can't just be like, oh, you're secretly gay. I'm sorry. You know, oh, what a misunderstanding. This woman spits in his face, calls him a fruitcake

and leaves. Holy shit. I signed on for a boob comedy. A light heart romp where maybe we're stealing the underwear and the thing you know we've seen this movie I like that movie

it's fine maybe we're making hamburgers nobody's making hamburgers nobody's making hamburgers in this scene nobody's making no hamburgers the only hamburg is the Klaus Oldenberg bed that's all there is oh man that's it's really

horrible it's then there's the helicopter scene which I don't even think I want to talk about honestly they get into a helicopter for some reason Well, nothing racist happens in it, although it's another scene of Magneto Jones trying to escape this fucking hell. Well, let's just briefly, Freddie brings Mrs. Vunk there so they can screw in the helicopter, which stupidly accidentally turns it on. Why would you want to, how could you fuck in a helicopter? And how could you...

In the front of a helicopter, no less. You turn a helicopter's fucking blades on and you don't notice it's on. Well, they're just so hoared up, Eric. Oh, my God, I get so horny and my ears just. clothes. I couldn't hear it because I kept counting all these 10, 10, 20.

Hey, is that a chopper? Oh, 30. Getting up to Ulysses S. Grant here. Number 50. Wait, am I having sex or am I in a Black Ops mission right now? Oh, crap.

Time lines are mixing together again. We're getting a flashback to that Black Hawk down because this fucking helicopter crashes on to Dick Buckus' his car and just for some reason the helicopter's totally fine and just the car

just completely falls apart except for like the engine and wheels yeah it's one of those and of course because again can we just be doing the easiest jokes ever he's had the car for mere days he's of course polishing it

ever so perfectly like hey baby did you like your first car wash Like, oh, we get it. He cherishes this automobile. I hope you like honking at black people because that's what you're going to be doing. I love my new car, my new racist car. So from here... It's called the hate mobile.

From here, we're basically now towards the final exam of their time here at Buster Burger University. It turns into a top chef challenge. Yeah, it's restaurant wars. Yes. You have to run. A restaurant for a day. Yeah, you just have to see if you're class, which, and this is a weird thing about this movie, and it's just a movie thing.

This movie's not the only one that's guilty of it, but, like, you see countless students at this hamburger university, right? But of course, all the main characters are in this graduating class, and there's not one, like, extra. It's everybody. It's, it's, it's Magneto Jones, it's Russell, it's the nerd, the fat guy is there. The lady from guacamole is there. Well, that's the weird thing about the other students in this where you do see them around, but not, because we're not paying anyone else to speak. So there's no extras, no way. Hey, Derek, how's class going?

Whatever, nothing, nothing, nothing. So the challenge is you have to run it for a day and then at some point Dick Butkus and everyone's going to come in for a surprise inspection. Yeah, they're just going to evaluate. You see how you did. Maybe some secret shoppers. but Dick Butkus, racist, crafty gentleman that he is, isn't going to let this stand. He's really upset about that car. Yes, he has it out for Russell for numerous reasons.

I mean, he's also a romantic rival at this point. I mean, there's a lot of riding on this. So he actually arranges various tests, insane tests to throw at this franchise. One being, he takes over, he somehow hacks in to the PA system of the pickle at the, drive through and when a cop a black cop important not important information oh it's an it wouldn't be important in any other movie but this one yep he pulls up to to put an order through and oh my lord what he says hey rotate kuntikinti your checks ready at the welfare office you know and he doesn't like this apparently here's the thing i'm dick buttkiss i'm an

NFL legend you know and i'm like hey that's i mean yeah i guess so he's in the hall of fame. Is he? Yeah, he is. All right. I had to look that up. I don't know fucking dick butt kiss from anything, but you know, here I am. You know, I'm trying to break it into Holly Weird, you know. Like my good friend Jesse the body Ventura. Best buds.

And maybe. I get this script. It's on me this dialogue. Like, I have to be the guy that's like, hey, can he just like, I don't know, call him a jerk and tell him to F off or something. Maybe if I'll curse it this guy. Well, like, when he's, when he's

telling off this cop like it starts off kind of okay because you're a jerk fucking jerk pig you fucking pig and it's like okay like that's fine yeah you know that's not racist that's just things that people call cops sometimes yeah doesn't have a sordid horrendous

history like that's the thing is it's like I don't I don't fault Jackie Earl Hayley for being in little children I'm not afraid to like let him watch my kids oh I am I'd be terrified there's nothing but creeps yeah come on he was a maniac cop three he was He was a doll man.

Anyone out there knows doll man, stay tuned. Yeah, doll man's a real wild ride. That's a deep cut. Dude, that watchman performance, you let that guy watch your kids? All right, that's fair. Maybe it's a wrong example.

However, I don't fault him for the roles that he's taken and the things that he does on screen. But somebody that's just do it, like, it's such a weird, small performance. And eight out of ten lines are against African Americans in this movie And it's like listen

His character only by the way If it's a movie where you You are specifically playing A racist In a movie about racists Or there's some sort of race element going on This is a movie about a fucking Cheeseburger school

I don't need all this other shit He's not Benedict Cumberbatch In 12 years of slaves He's Dick Buckus and fucking Hamburger in the motion picture Well, maybe this is like a satirical view exposing the secret interracists of McDonald's University. You don't know. Yeah.

That's always a possibility. But if you're Dick Butkus, who's essentially just playing Dick Butkus with a hat on, maybe you would ask this director to tote it down a little bit. That's all. Now we've got to turn things over to Hayton on. fat people because it's been 20 minutes we gotta crack that shit to 11 man it's been at 9 and a half for way too

long so in comes this dude and he's like I need you to sign some form and and Russell's like what's this for and he's like hey man I just drive these guys around I drop them off and then come pick them up and you're like what

and so Russell's like well who are you talking about and he's like you know out there the eating club cut to this trolley car door opens an army of morbidly obese people jump out of this bus

and they're ready to eat and it's this ridiculous shit of the running in they can't even wait till they get to the register to order food because they're so fucking starving they just start ripping food off of people's plates and the music sounds like

bomp bomp bong and there's like pig noises just there's so many it's out and It's, it's, it's actual recorded sounds of pigs oinking. And I imagine this hateful son of a bitch scoring it. You know, he's got his little Cassie and it's going, bomb, bump, bump. And you know, you have that little subset of animal noises.

And he's just like doing it. And he's doing the Dom de Louise laugh. Like, oh my God. I'm really sticking it to these fat people. Oh, man. And some of these performances by them, too, are really off the chain. Like, uh, oh, they're delightful. They're delighted in it.

There's these two fat twins. They're giggling and just eating everyone's food. Everybody is order. It's like a thing where one guy gets to the register and he's like, I want 50 Buster burgers, 10 large chocolate buster shakes and whatever the fuck. And the guy's like, oh, okay, that's all for you. And he's, or that's all for your group. You know, he's like, no, that's just for me.

Who's next? Well, I'll have 75 Buster burgers all with cheese and a diet Coke in a bucket. Diet. Careful with that joke kid. It's got cobwebs on it. Just beating you over the head with these overweight people ordering all this food. And they're just stealing food from people being rude, kicking people out drinking ketchup. So Russell and his fellow employees decided be funny to pour a bunch of laxatives into their sodas and stuff and their food.

Do they think that that's the way to get rid of them? It's the only because they're eating so much fucking food. The restaurant. The restaurant. This isn't like a party. This is a fully functioning restaurant. It's going to run out of food. That's the joke.

Then their stomach start churning. There's all this bubbling fart noise, like pre-fart noise is happening. Yeah, but you know what's coming. They all make a beeline for the bathroom. They're like kicking the door in. There's a Japanese tourist guy on the toilet with a camera because, hey, we haven't insulted one race yet. We have one left to do. Man, where are we going to stick in this hilarious Japanese gag?

Well, how about when they all run for the toilet at the same time? I was surprised there wasn't a Godzilla joke. It's right there. But it's insane. It's like they are depicted as a wild pack of animals that all run into this bathroom. It's a little tiny fast food restaurant bathroom. And nine morbidly obese people run in at the same time to take a shit. And this guy is just like, he's like, oh, say cheese, he's got to take a picture of them.

Someone farts and the wall of the restaurant explodes. And all these fat people are running around like it's fucking, the beach is a Normandy and everybody's shell shock and has no clue what's going up. They're covered in burgers and ketchup and fucking wall dust. Yeah, that's right. Shit. Basically half the restaurant has exploded. No one is harmed in this scenario. because it's a cartoon.

Can I just chime in here because I, we're talking a lot about IMDB today. Sure. And sometimes the IMDB quote section can read like poetry. And this is one of those times. 400 Club member. No flash. No flash. Man.

For a hundred club member. No flash. The 400 club is the name of this eating club, which I guess means you have to be over 400 pounds to be a part of it. A dramatic reading. 400 Club member. No flash. No flash. Man on toilet. A smile, everybody. Parentheses. Clicks camera and someone farts. The bathroom explodes. It's a haiku.

Man on toilet. Say cheese. Another one which is 400. 400 club member after farting. In unison, aroma, giggles. Four hundred club member, after farting, deep and mean. These are just the things that these people are saying while they're running around with concussions from all the farting that just happened. So now a bunch of bikers pull up to the place because they're hungry too. Oh, man.

But now they're out of food. So Freddie, the sex bot says the line that he's been trade, that we reserve the right to refuse service. to assholes like you now the bikers are all upset and now they're smashing things and beating up the restaurant and this is when the uh the angry cop shows up again with a bunch of other black cops so now this place is overrun with bikers and black cops and they're just destroying the place they're all just like the guy like russell's like oh finally the police are here and the guy's like fuck you manager of this restaurant and they all start bashing shit it's crazy And just as soon as they got there, they all leave.

Like, just as soon as they appear, they vanish. And, you know, you're like, wow, this movie has been, this movie, it's done, right? With the racism, it has to be done. Oh, here comes two migrant workers on a fucking car. And we're just, they're singing some like Ranchero tune. Oh, man. It's a truck full of chickens. Okay.

And Dick Buckus says, oh, well, you guys want to play chicken, huh? gets in his shit car Hey Granddaddy, watch this Yeah Drives You know Tries to ram these guys off the road And then they turn into and crash into this restaurant

So the place is demolished There's dead chickens everywhere Yeah these this chicken truck Like all of these chickens explode Yeah this The feathers in this is just too much It's comical Frankly

This is silly You know it just got silly So then of course That's when the owner slash father cult leader shows up in his huge limo and he gets out with the wife and he's like well this place is destroyed and blah blah blah

and oh wow we're all in trouble right not so fast so Dick Butkus gets up a promotion he's going to be the vice president of who gives a shit and then Russell and the fat guy are like one more card left to play and the fat guy

hooks up his electric device to Dick Butkus' crotch? Yep. And turns it on and just starts electrocuting this man's junk. Yep. And then he turns and spills like flour all over the

owner. You get it real well, I never. Yeah. And it's just like, you know what? You're not the vice president anymore. You have to pick up garbage on campus for the rest of your days. Or quit. You know, like that's a viable option. You can't quit cults. He's going to get put in that pickle statue.

and you would you know you would think that this whole you know the cult leader would be mad that the franchise was destroyed but then he gets he sees through the wreckage the visage of the ketchup nun

and he's like oh my god this is a great new marketing ploy we're going to put you on posters everywhere you will be the frying nun because she bites she pulls a whole chicken out of the fryer and takes a bite of it and she's like my god that's

good or something like that. So yeah, he makes her the frying nun. This is, because his whole plan, all the scientific experiments with the chicken and all this, we didn't mention this, his whole thing is he's trying to break into the fried chicken market to beat the shit out of KFC and Colonel Sanders.

The Colonel, yeah, the Colonel is name-dropped in this movie. And so, I was like, I finally have it. A disgusting whole fried bird, feathers and all, we're going to market it. And my God, that's good. And it's the frying nun. cut to graduation because who could possibly care.

Dick Buckus is picking up garbage. Yeah. The eating club is at the graduation. What the fuck? Well, they've been scouting that fat guy. That's what's going on because like when all the chips are down, he's like, well, I guess I'll join the eating club. And then they're at the graduation.

They made some connects. They joined Fat LinkedIn. It's all just sausages. LinkedIn for fat people It's a sausage delivery system and a way to connect to other fat people Actually I think I'm not on LinkedIn I'm on fat LinkedIn

We're all on fat LinkedIn I'm on fat Facebook too So then In the biggest turn of horseshit That this movie could come up with The Dean announces The graduate who is received the Busterberger University

Lifetime Achievement Award. Everyone's favorite student, Magneto Jones. And they unchained him at the ceremony. I'm not kidding you, everybody. They ceremoniously remove handcuffs from this man only to make him disrobe and perform for the audience. Because this guy starts singing the,

fucking hamburger song. Holy crap. Magnino Jones takes you takes you to the credits. Yeah, we don't hear about anything else. Ten. Oh, man, so many tens. Crap.

Got to start over. Ten. The problem is I went to the Playboy Mansion and I saw 10 tens and I didn't know how to count that high. What happens? Is it 10? Is it 10? Is that how you say it? So I got 50, then 10, 10.

Then a 10, 10, 2.20. I was able to call my friend Carrot Top. Tell them about all the babes that I spotted. Notorious Babe Hounds, Carrot Top and Jesse the Baddy Ventura. Look out, Vegas. We're on the prow. Ten. Oh, my God.

Get me nine, tens, because I have. don't want a headache. I can go up to 90. So, that's it. Tendie. That's it. I figured it out. It's Tenty.

Next stop, Harvard. So. Cut to you. Just even sure of being enrolled in Busterberger University instead. That's your sequel, right? Oh, yeah, that'd be great. Can't believe I got stuck at Busterberger University. I already passed

Hamburgerology back in high school. I took a lot of college classes then. It's the substitute, but Dick Buckkiss gets killed by the new rowdy class. So Jesse the Body Materia has to take care of it. Yes.

That's got to be a better movie than this. That'd be amazing. It'd have to be less racist. It would have to be. So who's recommending Hamburger the motion picture? I will recommend it. I mean, I know what we just said sounds horrific but it is a seeing is believing

in my opinion the song is pretty rocking and it is just a it's just a crazy time people should see it. Yeah it's a bizarre relic you know

it just it is one of those things where you're like we were doing this we were doing this in 1986 yeah this shit was cool in 1986 oh absolutely Absolutely, man. I mean, I'm of the same mindset here. You just got to see it. You have to see this. It's insane. It's insane that this was going on. It was an odd turn for the boob comedy to go down this road. It's in full on YouTube. You don't have to pay for anything to see it. Don't give them money. No. But, yeah, it's not an amazing movie. It's an interesting relic. That's for sure. It would be much more interesting if Jesse the Body Ventura was in it.

which I think we illustrated quite nicely here today. 10. That's Hamburger the Motion Picture from 1986, directed by the writer of Hot Dog the movie, Mike Marvin. Hey, Mike, if you're ever thinking about doing a hamburger, too, here's my number. It's 10, 10, 220. They'll get you where you're going.

I'm just going to keep using it until they pay me to spokesmen. bottle for me forget david and the wayans brothers i can market 10 10 220 like nobody's business i could get them using it now in the age of cell phones you don't even have to pay for long distance nationally anymore i could get him back i could tell you if i get someone on an iphone dialing 10 10 220 i should get a fucking medal because that's difficult spokesmodeling If you want more information about the show, check out WHMpodcast.com. There is a wealth of back catalog episodes on the website. Go to WHMpodcast.com.

Click on episodes for all you new listeners. Episodes from 100 and back featured on there, directly downloaded, or you can stream it on the website. Like us on Facebook. Follow us on Twitter. We are at WHM podcast. Right into the mailbag. We All Hate Movies at gmail.com. Is this the most disappointing?

college boob comedy of the 1980s. If you have something that's worse, oh, I definitely want to watch it. Rate and review the program, wherever you get it, we would greatly appreciate it. Check out our sister show. Blame it on Outer Space. Coming out bi-weekly, taking down conspiracy

theories in a comedic fashion. Eric Siska, what's going on over at Blaming on outer space these days? Some shit, probably. Thinking ahead. I like it. Blument on Outerspace.com at Blame Spacepestepad. On Twitter, they are also on iTunes and Stitcher Radio.

That's it. Let's, let's see. Oh, wait a second. Where are we at right now? Are we starting the summer blockbuster? Yes, we are. Next week for new listeners, we get a thing that happens for two months. It's called the summer blockbuster extravaganza.

That's right. SBE 2014 is happening. Clue for the first episode to kick us off. Cutlery. Cutlery. That's when you're going on? Yep, that's what we're doing. Steve Sadek says cutlery.

We'll figure out what he means by that next week. Until then, I'm Andrew Jupin. Stephen Sadek. Eric Cisker. Take it easy. I think I'm ready now. I'm hungry, hungry for the broader that makes you fool You're jumping for a taste of a Buster, Jr.

Our famous bustle border that's bull on pool. It's rich shakes, crispy french fries, I'll double-beed buster like bull. It's satisfied, yeah. Our people are friendly, I suppose I can to, nothing but bull is waiting, waiting for you. America You're getting burger hungry Hungry

Hung for the burger That makes you fool You're chopping for the taste of a pasta burger Our family's pasta burger That's full of boo The morning and hoony Musta burger

That's full full of boo Thank you.