We Hate Movies - S4 Ep164: Stroker Ace

Episode Date: July 1, 2014

On this week's episode, the gang tackles a sweaty ass Burt Reynolds' movie with the pretty silly, Stroker Ace! Is Stroker an immortal god who has lived through Prohibition and the sweaty 1980s? Is Ned Beatty's character really just Otis from Superman on the run from Mr. Luthor? And how many prehistoric jokes can we fit into one movie? PLUS: Eric mildly enjoys Tom Jones, Andrew does not. Different opinions on We Hate Movies! Stroker Ace stars Burt Reynolds, Jim Nabors, Ned Beatty, Loni Anderson and Parker Stevenson; directed by Hal Needham. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

Hello, I'm Andrew Jupin. Chris Cabin. Eric Siskin. And we hate movies. Hello, everyone. Welcome to the program. Thank you for tuning in to We Hate Movies. If this is your first time putting us in your ears, you're catching us at the fifth week of our annual summer blockbuster extravaganza. And if you are talking about it on Twitter, please be sure to use the hashtag SVE 2014. This week, we're talking about the Hal Needham, not classic NASCAR race and Bert Reynolds. It's called Stroker Race from 1916. God, what a fucking dull movie. You know, but it's not officially summer until you watch a sweaty-ass

Burt Reynolds movie. Yeah, oh, that's absolutely true. I was actually, when I was watching the movie, I was like, yeah, man, I can almost smell the gross hot mahogany apartment that Burt Reynolds probably lived in grown up in Florida. God only knows the kind of fucking

body wash and cologne smells that are coming from him just in a daily basis. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. It's a real feast for senses. Yeah. You hash that one out for all you. But like, so this movie is kind of just like it's just, hell need him and him have done. They did the Smoking the Bandit movies. They did the Cannibal Run movies. There was two or, was the three. Yeah. There's two. He's two and I think he was on for both. I think there was only two. There's definitely three Cannonball Run

movies. Yeah. Yeah. I don't think. And I think it's the same same thing with Smoking the Bandit. I don't think Burt Reynolds stars in either of the films. Smoky and the Bandit, he was there through number three. I think... Isn't it just a cameo, though? A cammy. What am I fucking talking about? Is Smokey or in Camdenball?

But is he coming back for episode seven? Yes. Okay. Smoking the Bandit, episode seven. Man, imagine Bert Reynolds was in Star Wars. The Shavening. Episode seven, the Shavening. Will you...

Yeah, yeah, I'll do you, Space Pisher. Just, I'm not going to shave this mustache. You have to, but. Dustin Hoffman and Star Wars. So am I wrong, by the way, am I wrong in thinking this was the major influence for Tyler Dagan Nights? I think you might be right. It plays pretty similar. He's definitely a Ricky Bobby type in this movie.

There's all the sponsorship stuff, which is also all over. That's the movie. See, that's the thing is like, Will, doesn't think Ricky Bobby is cool, but if you, like, had someone playing that character as, like, a cool hero, it's sort of like this, yeah. But also, like, he does a better job

with this kind of... Will Farrell does a much better job with this kind of character than fucking Bert Reynolds. That's because Bert Reynolds clearly does not give his shit. Where did, Bert Reynolds invented the character to find it? He did kind of sculpt it from a block of clay and made it what it is, and then

Will Ferrell kind of just made fun of it. I will say this, until this movie, starts getting like really repetitive and really dull and you're like is this four hours long there's parts of it that are funny like at the beginning of the movie like bert reynolds has comedic timing it's there i don't know if it's like you could call it traditional comedic timing it's definitely like bert reynolds persona comedic timing i guess but it's there it's not like will feral i don't think but i don't think hal need of knows exactly how to you know bring that bring that to the foray i guess no oh so this is what i was saying so with

the cannonball run movies and this might be a stay tuned i don't know so there's cannonball run cannonball two and then there's a movie that there's a third one it's officially titled speed zone but it's a k a kane ball fever is this like that fake james bond movie oh never say never never never again this is like a non-canon it might it's it's a non-canon cannon cannon ball run movie it might be john Candy, Joe Flaher, Matt Fruer. Oh, my God. Yeah, they're all in it. That way, is Bert? The Smothers Brothers are in it? Is Bert in it?

No. That's the thing. Well, then Eric's out. I know Eric's is good this much. I know he's out. You watch that shit with Steve. I'm not touching it. Yeah, I don't know how it's related, but it's, it's also not directed by Hal Needham, but it's there. And then I wanted to check on Smokey, too, because I'm pretty sure there's three Smoky in the band.

three Smoking the Bandits because this was made the year after the third one. But there's only one Stroker Ace. There is only one Stroker Ace. Definitively say that. Yeah. For a reason. Yeah, they weren't going to bring this back. So, Bert Reynolds is Stroker Ace. He's a race

car driver. He's a NASCAR. They say NASCAR in this movie. NASCAR's all over this movie. There are NASCAR drivers in this movie. Oh, man. They're everywhere. Including Dale Sr. He's probably like the biggest name I recognize. I don't watch NASCAR, but I know some of the James. Richard Petty, Dale Earnhardt, Tony Richmond.

There's, there's like a bunch of them. A bunch of these guys make cameos. But yeah, so it's Burr Reynolds. He's Stroker Ace, I guess he's the best race car driver at some point he must have been. I think he's like entering the twilight of his career here a little bit and like this young upstarts gunning for the best NASCAR driver. I guess Dale Earnhardt would qualify. Yeah.

Like, he's not quite stroke race, but he's there. He's quite moved up to the Stroker ace. level. But, I mean, he's got some, you know, he handles the curves well. He knows how to do. So this movie opens on Bert Reynolds and Jim Neighbors, his best friend. Jim Neighbors is A plus in this movie. I fucking love Jim Neighbors, dude. And he is, he's the best part of this movie. What's his name in this? It's like Buzz Arnold or something. Lugs. Lugs. Lugs is the name. Oh, whatever. Anyway, they're little kids. Lugs Harvey. That's it. So you get to see them as their little kids. Yeah.

Little, little Bert Reynolds. And they, you know, oh, my God. They're real hellraisers, too. Now, they're hitching a ride in the Great Depression South. Because this is where we're going with this. But this is the 80s. Is it really supposed to be the Great Depression? Because they're little kids.

And now, Bert Reynolds is, you know, an older gentleman. So I don't know if it lines up. How old is Bert Reynolds supposed to be in this movie, then? I think he's a mortal maybe. Because it's supposed to be during prohibition. He's a child during pro-abotian. The early 30s. But it makes sense because, like, in the shot,

because they're like, okay, as long as we don't have anything like modern around, nobody will notice that it's not fucking in the middle of the goddamn probation era. But then there's like a Toyota Corolla in the background. No, there's not. Is there? I don't think so. They got a good, like, jalopy truck. Yes.

There was a background of one shot where I clearly in the distance. You saw the McDonald's arches. On 1982, Honda drive-by. It was like a design car. It looked like a car from this era. Man, you know what you're definitely not going to find in 1930s America, a Japanese automobile. Yeah, it's not going to happen. Corolla in that time, I don't believe so.

So little, little Bert and little Jim neighbors there, they hit a ride. And the guy driving the truck recognizes young Bert Reynolds and says, aren't you that, aren't you that, aren't you that? kid that locked up that poor woman in that outhouse and then flipped it over and he's just like yeah that's right yeah it's me got a problem with that old man what the fuck are you gonna do about it give me my cigar the old man is the dad of uh like a buddy of his i don't think that's and he doesn't age that's clearly a highlander that's where i think you're getting a little confused though because it's i don't think it's young jim neighbors oh it's the young version of his buddy he meets

later in the movie who's the actor. Oh, good God. Because I mean, we'll get into it, but there's some there's some good old boys pretending to be actors in this movie. Well, like at a point. It's a fucking Ocean's Eleven moment in that. Yeah, that part should have been played by Elliot Gould. So it turns out this guy's a moonshiner

and now the cops are chasing them. So that's when he gets his need for speed, you know? That's where he gets his first taste. That's like the origins of NASCAR. And Talladega Nights, so it begins. So Stroke Race was there. Maybe Stroke Race invented NASCAR. It's possible that Stroker race invented NASCAR.

And then that chase gives us Charlie Daniels band doing an original song for the movie, the theme song of the movie. I know we've played some rock and good tunes lately. Maybe we should give him a lick of this. I mean, because it's. Yeah, here's Charlie Daniels band, not playing the devil went down to Georgia. I'm gonna lock your daughter's up that wild bunch back in town and them little girls get frisky when they hear that race car sound they're bringing out the yellow flag somebody's breaks and fails

there's a whole stick on the inside and a wrick along the rail you better stand don't it stroke her cause a baddice on your tail Oh, yeah. I just want to reiterate, one of the lyrics in that song is little girls get frisky when they hear that race car sound. Wow. Yeah, that's what Bert Reynolds does to you. Bert Reynolds or Bert Reynolds automobiles? Not women, by the way.

Not women, by the way. Anything he touches, really. Yeah, but the song is saying that girls are getting all revved up because a car is driving by. But he's specifically little ones. Just little ones. It's little girls. but is it is it not four stroker aces automobile sounds or is this is this just in general

when you get four stroker aces you just win the game right yes okay uh that's a good point i think the song is because it's a it's these stroker ace it's the ballad of stroker ace is that the name of the song i don't know oh because it should have been if it's not it's at least just stroker ace or stroker's theme or something like strokers ace had a pretty nice face and it went away like it's It's just the devil went down to Georgia.

Because it's Charlie Daniels, Ben. It's the same exact fucking thing. Can we make a tribute band of Charlie Daniels? And we'll name it after Stroker Ace. It's going to be seven-eighths gibberish. I'm going to tell you that right now. The Stroker Aces. And we just do Charlie Daniels covers.

So we do two songs. Do we have to turn into huge racists, too? Only when we're on stage. Do I have to learn the banjo? Yep. shit yeah your big bear claws aren't getting around a banjo break a banjo that's what we want you to do it's performance i see so we're introduced to bert reynolds in a bit of physical comedy that kind of had me laugh and he's driving his car and he's got jim neighbors like sticking out the door

and you're like what the fuck is going on and he's like uh hey jim neighbors gonna uh take a left might want to lean see this is actually what confused me because they zoom in on the little kid's face of little bert and then And then it becomes Oldbert, and he's just like, and Jim Neighbors is next to him in the car. So I was like, oh, that's why you thought it was, oh, I see, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, yeah, it's just, we transitioned from Littlebert, who's looking at his hair in the mirror into Big Bert. Yeah, I'm an adult now. Yeah.

Yep, I'm still going to check my hair in the mirror. And he's driving a car with only one front tire. Yeah. Like, there's no driver's side front tire. So he's got Jim neighbors hanging out the side to, like, balance the weight. kind of a funny gag. I'm not, Pyle. You took the last beer. You stay outside.

And it's impressive because someone probably actually did that for the movie. Yeah, well, this is practical effects 1980s, man. Well, that's where Hal Needham comes from. Stunt racing guy. And he became a big name after Smokey. So I just have all these lines about

driving without a tire, but yes, go ahead. So he's going here and he's got a a stingy manager or I guess it's their backer is the caddy, the coddy caddy guy. Yeah, it's the guy who like owns the car. From what I understand about stock car racing, it's a little like horse racing where it's like someone owns the whole team, owns like the car, you know, like the car owner and there's like the team.

And then they hire the driver. Right. And then the driver picks his team and whatever. So it's this guy. He's a real like cigar chomping old. cigar in his mouth the whole time it's so gross and they they do nothing but make fun of this guy constantly there's a weird thing in this movie where bert reynolds loves dangerous pranks yeah like really really dangerous pranks so you know they don't take this guy seriously even jim neighbors

is shitting on this guy which is like if jim neighbors is like making fun of you like jim neighbors always plays the guy that everybody else is making fun of so you must be really low on the character totem well all he's doing is the wrong name gag which is like one of the most late craziest, like, prehistoric, a fucking T-Rex told this joke. They keep on calling him Caddy, and his name is Cotty, or they keep on calling him Cotty, and his real name's Cady. The thing about that

joke is I thought, I thought the comet wiped it out, but... Well, we all did. We all thought it had just gone away, and it was just fossils. But then, you know... And now we're powered on it. Yeah. We're just pumping into the cars. Well, now we have, they have... Also, the response after that is like,

whatever. With the guy, he's like, My name is actually the... Whatever old man, he's shit. This is an old man. He's an old man. He's not to fuck up. What do you think you are? Character shit.

You might... You know what? That would have been kind compared to what they actually do to this old man. Oh, my God. And Bert Reynolds just... Lips manless is him. Oh, my God. He brings a cement truck and starts pouring cement into this guy's car with him in it.

And he's like up to his armpits in cement. He's like, I am going to die. No, big boy, not the bad, not the bad, big boy. Oh, perfect, Dick Tracy joke. But, yeah, I totally didn't see it coming because you don't get it. This is the first time you have dangerous pranks in the movie. And he's like, he's like, oh, now Bert Reynolds, we're going to stay at a hotel tonight before the race tomorrow, right? I sure hope I have a room.

And he's like, yeah, yeah, you got a room. Yeah, yeah, I'll be right back. At the bottom of the sea. And he, like, winks at Jim neighbors, and they both get out of the car and, like, smash this concrete, like, the, the poorer part, I guess, or whatever, like, smashes through this window. So, one, there's glass all over this frail old man. I'm cut. I'm bleeding. And he's like, oh, yeah.

And he's like, oh, yeah. You think that's bad, huh? Guess what's next? You're going to pour the cement in you. And he just starts, like, dump it. And it's, like, all of this. cement and there's like 10 people around this car laughing at this guy the funniest fucking thing i'm trying to get out but i've broken all my limbs trying to move it in this cement uh

tell me all your bank codes and by the way that's the last time you see this old man in the movie also jim neighbors when they're walking away from this laughing asks bert reynolds like why do you have to go and do stuff like that and burrennels is like well you see i'll tell you a man's got to do what a man's got to do. It doesn't even make any sense, but what do he's talking about? You got free reign? It's just like whatever. He's that little kid still.

Whatever the fuck I want to do, I'm going to go do it. I don't care about human life, dignity, anything that society deems valuable. And you would think the whole rest of the movie is him learning that you can't just do what you want to do. No, Chris. You would think. No, you wouldn't think that, Chris. You know why? because when this movie starts up, it goes, starring Burt Reynolds.

Yeah, I don't even think they have the title of the movie in the beginning. I think it's just Burt Reynolds in Burt Reynolds. Burt Reynolds is Burt Reynolds in Burt Reynolds. Yeah, call the movie that. Co-starring Burt Reynolds as Burt Reynolds. Hal, I think there should be a bit of a biopic. Halfway through my life. Is it too late to have Charlie and the boys change that song?

to be, you know, Bert Reynolds maybe makes those little girls frisky? Because that's what I do. You know, they do that, right? The little girls? Yeah. They get friskeys. And they hear my mustache sound.

I give them a ride. Sort of like I do with my car. You get it? Moustache ride. I got to sit on my face. Error that song, for your ride. It's all like that. It's free for them to ride.

That's long as about me. So this old man's dead, and he's also crashed that race car. That was the whole thing. They were getting in an argument because the old man's like, you keep crashing these race cars and I can't afford new ones. I have no money. You've let me try. How am I going to pay my medical bills? You won't need any when you're buried in cement.

My wife is in the hospital. You, uh, I've heard of euthanasia. So he's now a man without a driver, or a driver without a car, a man to sponsor him. I just fucked that whole thing up. The point is he's out of a job. Yeah. So him, him and the rest of the team include the gym neighbors. You know, they're like, oh, what are we going to do?

Enter everyone's favorite character actor, Ned Beatty, playing like this chicken magnate. What is the name of the chicken company? The chicken pit? Is that it? Yeah, the chicken pit. Yes. So Ned Bady runs this, like, chicken pit restaurant, which is like basically a KFC knockoff thing. You know, they totally referenced KFC in this movie at one point where like Ned Bady's talking about how like, like he was, he was actually beating KFC in like the chicken wars.

And then apparently they lost, they started losing again to KFC after the colonel died because they were having sympathy sales of chicken. Because Colonel Sanders was dead So everybody was buying sympathy chicken Yeah, whatever, Clyde That's when the chicken wars Took a turn for the worst When KFC lost their colonel on the battlefield No, but so

Well, he's been like in the first race The opening scene Sequence which goes on forever He's Ned Beatty's character is a Clyde Torque, I think is the name? Torque, yeah. Racing.

The, he's like trying to get... Torkel. Torkel. Yeah. Okay, so let's... It's kind of close, though. But also a stroker is like part of an engine. Yeah.

So, yes, I remember reading that. But, yeah. So at this first race, he's like needling him. He's like, come on over to fucking chicken pit. And, you know, we'll do this. Come on over to chicken pit, Mr. Luther. Chicken? Pit. Otis.

Chicken pit. I would love it if like Torkel was actually just Otis and he changed his name to get like strike out on his own, like to get away from Lex Luthor. And he's just like, well, let's see. I like to eat. Like to eat at restaurants.

Like to eat chicken at restaurants. Chicken restaurant. Chicken pit. There we go. And he just like starts off. Next race is a metropolis. No, we can't do it. We can't do it. We can't do it. No, no, do. Oh, geez, Stroker, we got to drop out of this race.

Can't go to Metropolis. What are you talking about? It's a race. Stoker's there. Stroker's there. Everybody else got to be there. So, yeah, he's like, come on, be at my racing team. And, you know, Bert Reynolds initially turns him down.

But then he sees, like, this, like, sick car, I guess, that Mr. Torkel has gotten from Jim Napier. It's a sick car. It's fallen ill. no it's cool it's a great car it needs to be you know holistically healed with you know

the vernacular huh the lingo my bones so I mean whatever there's not much between there and here

he signs to fucking race with Ned Beatty and it's like it's a crazy contract interestingly enough Ned Beatty's chauffeur and bodyguard

played by Bubba Smith officer High Tower of the future police academy franchise it's like right around the corner i'm like stick it out high tower soon you'll be a star and he has nothing to do here well i don't get why ned bady needs like a bond villain-esque like bodyguard right i guess it's also one that you don't use it's like a comedy so right like i mean i guess it's just a weird excuse for like a big southern businessman to push around a black guy that's kind of weird yeah it's just treats him like shit a lot about

this movie is kind of weird. Fair. It's probably the least weird part. We're also introduced to Lonnie Anderson who is playing Pembroke. Yeah, Pembroke something or other. Pembroke Feney, there you go.

She's Clyde Torkle's secretary. No, she's like the PR. No, his like executive assistant. So she's like, she's like kind of in charge with like wrangling stroker ace throughout this movie. So, I mean, instantly, the sexual harassment is just like through the roof. Between Ned Beatty and Bert Reynolds, it's just a real unfortunate situation for Lonnie Anderson. And like, Luggs is treating her like his daughter. It's a little weird.

Yeah, well, no, I think he's got a, I think Jim Neighbors is supposed to have a thing for her because they're both religious. Right, because she's a, she introduces herself basically as a virgin. She's like, hi, I teach Sunday school. and I've never had sexual intercourse. My name's Pembroke Feeney. A challenge. Oh, yeah. Oh, does Burt Reynolds ever consider that a challenge? Have you heard my mustache yet?

Let you watch me make this mustache sing. Why don't you help me out there, Toots, I got a little bubble gum in my push broom. Smell, it's dulcet tones. I'll be chew that out there. You always got to chew it out. what's awesome is because this is like a fairly low budget movie anytime they go to actual

NASCAR racing not only is it stock footage it is stock footage from like 40 years prior it's like it is ridiculous it's like tape to tape recording we're suddenly back in Prohibition it is insane

the stock footage that they deemed acceptable for this movie it's so like they're like all right Bert Reynolds you're ready to start the race and he's like rooming his car like revving it all up he's like Yeah, yeah. Let's get ready to race. Cut to, like, a dude in, like, an old, like, Charles Foster Kane, Monty Burns car, like, cranking the engine to get it going.

It's so bad. And it's just because, like, I mean, it is old stock footage. And it's probably stock footage from, like, the 50s. But it's just, like, in the worst shape ever. Yeah. The tracking is off completely. How do they think no one would notice this? Look, I watched, I don't know about you guys, but I watched this movie, like, 4x3, like, V&E.

VHS type of... Yeah, that's... And, you know, it was very noticeable. Yeah, I mean, it's bad. I mean, you might as well have done it with shadow puppets. It's just... It looks awful. And then, like...

And, like, they do, they do have crashes. And nobody's really getting hurt at all. No. Well, because you can't have anybody really getting pulled out of a wreck. Because you can't afford to wreck any of these cars. You got to make sure all these cars are back to their owner. by the end of the shoot. Only the stock car,

these stock footage cards get, get actually destroyed. And, you know, that's with the, you know, the lousy drivers,

like Dale Earnhardt. Oh, yeah. Yeah, the, shipless layabouts. Yeah, the lousy legends. Did the extras

in this film that are living in Stroker's shadow. We're also introduced to, like, the biggest non-villain ever. Oh, my God.

This poor guy, the character's name Aubrey James. That's a funny name. Yeah, what is that a girl's name? It's just like a woman. You sent up a little girl.

Why you to take all those trousers? I thought it was Tim Matheson from Animal House for a second. But the guy does look familiar. He's got a kind of face. Oh, you know what? It's going to kill me. There's a character in singles that looks a lot like him. But I'm not going to go down that wormhole.

The actor's name is Parker Stevenson. And it's a weird introduction to, like... Oh, wait a minute. That's why he looks familiar. He's fucking Craig from Baywatch. oh yeah yeah the kind of like weird older dude yeah yeah that makes sense well in this movie the the introduction of his character is kind of interesting because he's like dancing with this uh nice young woman and uh burt reynolds is leering at her of course

as as bert reynolds is known to do in his movies well they they do at the track they do exchange some words well the thing is he used to date this girl well date date in quotes and he's like upset that he's that she's now like with this other guy and it's like it's like going well and like they're making signals across the room to each other and she's basically like mouthing at him like like I'm with him now please go away and he's like my pride like he won't accept the idea that someone doesn't want to be with him well am I thinking he's Are we in the same scene here where then he fakes a leg injury?

Yes. He's walking away and he's like, I'll fake a bum leg. That'll garner me sympathy and then she'll sleep with me. It works. She leaves him to go after Bert Reynolds

because he stumbled for a little minute and then the rest is history. She never comes back. He limped out of this disgusting lizard lounge that they're all at. And she's like, oh no. stroke her ace is hurt and she just like goes after him he's like yeah gonna win an ask her for that one you just wait and see but there is also another point a little before this

where he's like oh it's actually when he shows up to that first race track and there's like a couple of babes on the stage and he's like uh hey there nice to meet you and she's like you pig we met and whatever and he's like sorry about that and he like goes on to the next lady and she's like don't you remember we were in Daytona together blah blah blah and he's like oh yeah how's it going and then he like moves out of the next girl and she's like high stroke erase nice to meet you and he's like yeah yeah this'll do oh wait i haven't nailed you yeah that's that's really what's going on here it's fucking ridiculous i mean it is it is kind of like a goldilocks scene he's like too many times too loose just right but that's why he only makes an exception to to to to sleep

with this other woman a second time is because not Tim Matheson's getting in the way. Do you think, like, because he's so promiscuous. He's probably used to go to the doctor a lot to get treated for all these things. Oh, man. Hey, Doc, check under the hood. Like, it's got to be riddled. Stoker, it's a mess.

There's nothing we can do. What's it matter, baby? You won't sleep with a guy that has crabs and gentle delorts? Look, I found diseases in you that have only been found in 17th century horses. my god how are you getting those

I just love that we've such great veterinary records oh yeah dude those books are kept tight if anyone's going to a horse doctor instead of a real doctor

it's probably Burr Reynolds that's like it's like how like the mafia always have to go to veterinarians when they get like shot or something because they can't go to the hospital but Burr Reynolds is just like

he's just more he thinks he's more man than any other man. Oh, also in this bar scene. So while Burt Reynolds is busy faking a leg injury, the most out of the blue ridiculous thing in the entire movie is Jim Neighbors is at the bar and he's just like, boy, I sure do love hanging out at this here lounge. And he turns around

and Alvira Queen of the Dark is standing there. This is just the most insane cameo. Like I did a spit take. and then a double take it's out of nowhere and she's just like hey how's it going jim neighbors and i'm like no alvira what are you doing in this movie explain yourself god damn it out of anywhere she's she's hanging out at a sleazy lounge in detona outside the racetrack like this is the last place i'd expect elvira to show up at a nascar event shouldn't you be hosting like a middle

america public access horror movie marathon wasn't that her thing like what are you doing I think it's a fugue state, honestly, because if you're, if you're walking around day, okay, you're Elvira, you're the queen of the night, and you're fucking wander around Daytona and you're hitting on Jim neighbors. Maybe it like, she only has like power at night and in the daytime, it's just like, I don't know what she's guided by something else. She's not Elvira. It's possible. She's still dressed like Elvira, though. She has no name given in the movie. she just hits on him and then Jim Neighbors later is like talking to Bert Reynolds like

boy I sure did make this crazy girl last night or something I was like did Jim neighbors fuck Alvira what's going on there would be a really fucking weird scene man I would I would love if they included that I you know I guess that's what happened here we we don't really know so we can't see it didn't happen I it's it's definitely a possibility but it's a like I've said man it's a weird scene and I don't want to think about it. Man, you guys ever try to watch that Elvira movie? No. I fucking turned it right off.

I got it a spin. I got like 20 minutes into it and I was like, you know what? People are dying out there. I got better things to do. There's a news story. I haven't read. I know there is. Exactly. I might be the only person to think this, but now I'm just

thinking like, you know who would have been a great like team up movie? Elvira and Ernest P. Whirl. Yes. I'm surprised she didn't show up. It's the same exact kind of persona. Like, shitty local TV thing turns into a bigger star than you ever deserve to be. Maybe like Vern is now producing Elvirus show and like they're trying to.

I just shocked she didn't show up and scared stupid. That's like prime real estate for her. Oh shit. That would have been great. She could have like been a- Fight the troll. Yeah, she's just a sorceress that comes in and helps save the day. Yeah.

That movie would have the troll just gets like. hypnotized by her cleavage and she just fucking puts like a gym dug into them hey verne that lady with the big hooters just help me fight a troll hey verd she used her sex as a weapon hey verne don't look directly into her eyes you'll be sex hypnotized we know how to defeat the trolls now they're attracted to bosoms But that whole Elvira movie Is just like a bunch of like straight-laced people being like

My look at that woman You see I thought it would be like 75% cameos I feel like there maybe were a few 72% Why didn't watch the whole thing Like I said I fucking turned it off So I don't know They're gonna be a whole cavalcade of cameos

Towards the back end of that movie I don't know But it's just stupid She like Like inherits a house from a dead relative or something. So she's got to go to this like... She's got to sleep in it for two nights before she can get it. Yeah, I don't know. I really did. For all I know, George Burns has a cameo in that movie. I have no idea.

It wouldn't make sense. So anyway, after this Elvira thing, so Lonnie Anderson is going to properly introduce herself and get a real idea of what Stoker Ace is like. So she goes up to his hotel room. What he's all about. Get the real Stroker Ace's philosophy. What she wants to know. I mean, she's handling his P. are. She's doing her job. She's doing it. She goes up there and he opens

the door. First, there's a lady there that one of the one of the three bears that he interviewed at the race, the one that was too loose, I believe. So she walks out and Lonnie Anderson is offended. And then, just to top it right the fuck off, Burt Reynolds just whips his towel off. Yeah, well, that's, look, Bert Reynolds cannot be, tied in with a towel

for too long. I guess it's true or close. Just close unless he's got a loose flowing bathrobe on which is what he changes into. Because Bert Reynolds if anything is a man who likes to be comfortable at all time. That's sort of his natural state, like his natural habitat. Dude, if I could just

be nude and just have like a bathrobe over me at all times, like that's living man. It's a dream. That is the dream. Bert Reynolds has it figured out. It's not hard to get that dream but you can't have too much of a future planned. No, you The thing is, like, you can only support yourself for so long. Yeah, I mean, you have to give up on life.

I mean, that, that lifestyle goes in tandem with giving up on life. You got to buy the bathrobe and a shotgun. Yeah. Both are Walmart. You find. And, like, the biggest, and I know they make them really big these days, but I mean it, the biggest wild turkey bottle they got. And then you ride that right out to that disability check ends, and then you light yourself up. Yeah.

Sounds like a plane. I feel that's how... A lot of people do it. That's how Gary Busey's character in a Silver Bullet goes out. That's how he ends his days. I think it's also how Tommy Lee Jones's uncle and No Country for Old Men probably goes out. That guy's in the process of doing it in that movie.

Yeah. He's just looking... He's waiting for somebody to drop off the bathrobe. He ordered it special. So Bert Reynolds is really amping up the, like, hitting on her. And she's like, listen, we really just... need to talk about business and he's like smelling her neck it's really really disgusting and i was like oh yeah i can fucking smell that cologne right through the tv watching this bert reynolds movie man

he's just like so uh what do you got there some pictures for me and she's like actually they're business plans and he's like yeah pictures of you you make it plans it's like you know they don't call me stroker for nothing you get next time you come up here you tell that chicken bit son of a bitch, give me something to stroke to. I do kind of just want that song I'm stroking to be playing all the time during

this movie. I just, I'd want Tom Jones just to be fucking serenading me. Tom Jones, gross. Yes, please. I forget what I was watching, it was like a I think it was like just some like adorable dog video or something. Oh no,

of course, it's a cat video. And it was like some adorable cat video, someone they just put fucking what's new pussycat over it oh that's a delight geez oh wow different opinions on we hate movies that's my bathrobe you're just listening to top jones records giving up on it all yeah yeah no thanks man you can have every last

the last thing it's his version of uh i did it my way oh oh forget it Forget it. I forgot about that. Fucking, God damn it, Eric. I only have one record on vinyl. To be fair. To be fair.

All right. It's the best of. It's not the whole discography. Oh, no. Just the best of. Just the bests. So while this like parade of misogyny is going on. Yeah.

He's also tasked with now he has to become a spokesman for chicken pit. Right, because he didn't read this contract. He really got kind of bullied into signing this contract. Like Ned Betty was like, you don't have to read anything. Just sign it. Sign it, Mr. Race. Just sign it. And then, like, High Tower was kind of there.

Like, gurg. And he just, like, signed it under duress. His Jim Neighbors is like, why don't you be friendly like, sign that contract? Even Jim Neighbors is working against him unknowingly, of course, because it's Jim neighbor, so he plays adult. And it's another one of these prehistoric jokes. The fucking contract looks like infinite jest. Yeah.

And he's just flipping through. He doesn't even know how to read. Well, there's kind of a really stupid gag where he's like, hey, this contract is completely blank. And then Jim Navas has to be like, oh, you just got it backwards. And he has to turn it around and be like, oh, yeah, look at that. Now it's a book. Thanks, Kyle. You know, now I'm just fancising about a day where I meet Bert Reynolds.

and get him to sign a copy of Infinite Just. Just put his autograph down on it. You know, if I see that go up at Sutherbees, I might, you know. You might have to do it. I might have to do it. You might have to liquidate. So he's basically like,

the whole middle of this way, and this is like, once the movie starts, it stops. Because like he's got to go, he's contracted for like two years to do this promotional tour for the chicken pit. And it's just burnt.

Reynolds in this montage of like sometimes he's racing a car but most of the time he's just like cutting ribbons at fucking chicken pit openings and there's also a scene where he's just like hanging out in the back seat you know and you know Jim neighbors is driving and and Pembrook's up there in the front seat he just flats out goes uh you sure you never slept with anyone like he keeps on grilling her about her virginhood now uh listen to me You're telling me, I hired a hypnotist, and he put you under. You would have nothing to say. Suspicious.

Not even something you're remembering as an alien abduction. Maybe it was someone in your family. Because that counts. All inclusive. So speaking of humiliating himself, he's got to fucking record this commercial. Like he's filming a commercial in a chicken suit. And it's like not only is stroke or a race. embarrassed for stroke arrays. I'm embarrassed

for Bert Reynolds. You know what I mean? Like here's Bert Reynolds like whatever masculinity personified. He's just in this fucking dumb ass chicken suit and it's terrible. And here's the thing because it's also not funny. Yeah. Like if he's humiliating himself and it's

kind of funny. Right. All right. Like you would think that they would have a commercial you know scripted that would need a chicken like somebody in a chicken suit like or there was just a chicken character. It's just him talking to the fucking camera in a chicken

suit. Bok, bach, bach, bach, buy this chicken. He's like, hey, bach, back, back. I'm uh, struck race. And when he stops to cut the ribbon at fucking Ned Bady's chicken pit on Route 32, it's nobody's there. No, yeah, it is, it is not a highly attended event. Oh, I didn't know.

Wait, the one of Route 32's open. People didn't know that yet. Well, I mean, he didn't get it out to the radio stations. That way you've got to do in 1983. You've got to fucking tell them radio stations. Yeah, man, the radio radio stations, it was like the internet of the 80s. It was. It really was. And, uh, ham radio

was the chat room of the 80s. Ham radio. Yeah, it was the IRC chat. Uh, oh, well, because you feel bad for him, kind of, but that ribbon cutting because they're like, like, Jim neighbors is like, oh, yes, Stroker, there's going to be like 50,000 people there. And I'm like,

that doesn't make sense. It's going to be as big as Hardee's. so and like at this time he's still running races that are not shown in the movie it's just all stock car races we just cut stock footage stock car races we just cut to him getting like a trophy yeah and just getting all these kisses you know hey baby uh you missed spot that's supposed to kid you i don't think uh i got this trophy i don't think that means cheek i think uh it's a little lip action he uh there There's definitely one part in this montage where Ned Beatty's like, you got to kiss all these women or something like that. And they're women that Ned Beatty finds undesirable. Undesirable?

Or Bert Reynolds finds undesirable? I'll tell you what, I'm not kissing these undesirables. And like, Ned, it's a really awkward thing where Ned Beatty's like, no, you've got to kiss this girl. And like the shot is just like Bert Reynolds being like, eh, ew, gross. What cast system were you born into? You look like untouchable to me. It's just really stupid.

And then I'm realizing like, oh, the middle, like 40 minutes of this movie is kind of just a long montage. Every once in a while, the movie pulls over and we have like a scene usually in a hotel lobby or a saloon of some kind. Some type of easily secured location for the filming. Yeah. Well, it's just because this, I mean, Hal Needham for whatever his successes. And, you know, from what I remember smoking the bed, it was pretty fun. But, like, these are, these is a pretty ready-made movie. You have your, you know, older star, kind of aging, is given a, like, one last chance, but he's in it with a crooked guy. Jim Neighbors is the aging star? No, no, Burr-Renels. but and and you got Aubrey James the young like adversary and you've got this woman that

he could probably you know settle down with this is a ready made movie and all that really comes up from it all is him and Lonnie Anderson that's the most of it yeah but that by the time they get together

because of course they get together at the end of the movie it's just not even really that earned because it's like he just kind of pesteres her and like you know annoys her and sexually harasses her until she gives in. That's how you get a wife. That's the way the world works. Right?

No? You annoy them into, you know, doing all of it. You stifle them to such a degree. You got to break them down. Yeah, I mean, Bert knows it. But this is what I found to be kind of unbelievable about this movie. So it takes place, like, in the real world of NASCAR. Like, he's a NASCAR racer.

Ned Beatty, you know, has a lot of money in this. Like, you know, NASCAR is not cheap. and the whole thing is the hijinks of the whole plugging the chicken restaurant gets so high that there's like points where he's forced to drive

this race car with the chicken suit on and he's he becomes like a disgrace in the NASCAR community he's like not a fan favorite anymore he gets booed when he comes out in the chicken suit and what's more important the chicken suit is preventing him from driving the car and winning the races

no way would Ned Beatty like sacrifice wins and the publicity just to have some asshole come out in a chicken suit and be like, yeah, eat at the chicken pit. Now I got to go race this car. I'm almost positive that Bady's running some kind of insurance scam or something. I mean, like maybe even an embezzling scam is actually probably more likely. Oh, I'm sure. Yeah.

Because this, I mean, his business is in the fucking toilet. Yeah. It seems like he's got no creative marketing going on. Uh-huh. Just fucking Bert Reynolds talking to people in chicken suit. I really do think, like, he's on the edge. And that's why he, you know, attempts to, you know, rape Lonnie Anderson. Yeah, we'll get there.

That's, uh, God, that's weird. That's really weird. So, they do a prank on, on Ned Beatty. Oh, yeah. Where it's like, huh, you know, the car says, fastest chicken in the South. I got to wear the chicken soup. They paint the car to be a plucked chicken. Yeah.

They think this is going to take the piss out of Ned Beatty. Like, he's ever going to give a shit? Turns out he loves it. Of course he does. He, like, tells Pembroke, like, this was a great idea because he thinks it's part of, like, the PR and marketing. So, uh, so that backfires. He's like, oh, who came up with this? And they're like, uh, here we go.

He's upset. He's like, this is the greatest thing ever. Oh, the chicken's really going to be flowing out the chicken pit. We find out what, like, I don't know, 48 minutes into this 86 minute, 96 minute movie, what the actual story is going to be what the motivation for Bert Reynolds is he finds out Stroker does that the only way he can get

free of this two-year contract and stop doing all these publicity stunts is if he gets fired by Ned Beatty like that's the only way he can get out of this contract like there's some gag about like Jim Neighbors has asked every lawyer in this side of the Atlantic and the other and everybody says the only way he can get out of this

contract is if he gets fired so it's like it's basically bert reynolds like sucking at racing cars and being a jerk trying to get ned bady to fire him like and that's the movie yeah that's why there's like the prank shit going on also bert reynolds has a big problem with being called the fastest chicken in the south i don't know why exactly i mean i mean i guess because you're being called stroker ace is such a cool name and then to be just called the fast chicken yeah well no he's got beef with being called a chicken oh is that it yeah oh because you know, back in the day, men thought that was such a dire insult.

It's like being called Yella. Well, yeah. For instance, Martin McClough. Yeah, and his father George to some degree, I think, right? It's a hereditary trait. Yeah, it's a genetic thing, man.

There's some dudes that just can't be called chicken, and that goes back like generations. It does, yeah. Someone clucks at you and your blood just starts boiling. Like, that's just what happens. Do you think they talked a lot about deliverance on the set of this movie? This is, oh, this is post.

deliverance, isn't it? Yeah. I mean, I feel like it's just hanging there over them. Like this way. I just feel like Ned B's like, he's like, I'm taking it back. I'm taking all the power back, Bert. I'm the hero here. It's becoming Kennedy now. Is this because I didn't save you

in time? Is this because I let those mountain men get to you? Man, that movie's uncomfortable. It's, it was actually kind of funny. I was reading, there's like some online list the other day of like the best

horror movies of the last like 50 years or something. It was on there and I was like, that's not a horror well that one scene, but it's not a hot all right. I mean, it's Ryan the line. Yeah, it's a scary movie. I don't know if it's a horror movie. Yeah, totally.

It's a scary drama, I would say. It's a scary drama. It's an intense scary drama. So Bert Reynolds cannot stand the fact that Lonnie Anderson is a virgin. He invites her up to his apartment in this one scene, and he's like, got, like, room services coming up, a hotel room, rather, room services coming up. He's got some champagne, and she's like, oh, champagne, I told you, I don't drink.

And he's like, oh, that's right. Good thing I ordered this non-alcoholic champagne. It looks and tastes like the real thing. But you like pills, right? So he's, like, trying to get her drunk so he can sleep with her. And, like, Jim Neighbors just awkwardly bust in, like, oh, hey, what's this? Room service? Oh, boy.

Oh, good thing you got enough for three. Yeah. An extra lobster? And then Jim Neighbors just hands Bert the Bill. And it's just like, it's just like really shoved down Bert's throat that. Jim Neighbors is being a real big virgin blocker right here. Well, because Jim Neighbors in this movie is like the consummate gentleman. Yes.

You know. And they're both him and Lonnie Anderson are both people of the Lord. So they get along really great. Which is why I guess they decided to spend 10 minutes doing a fucking version of Amazing Grace. I think what's happening here maybe is she is a chastity belt. And Jim Neighbors has the key and he will only open it once he knows the love is true. Is the key Jim Neighbors' Siren song voice, singing Amazing Grace

If he gets through the whole song Then the Chastity Belt unlocks Yes It's really a sophisticated piece of machine It's like playing the notes In Zelda Ocarina of Time Like It's like the end of that movie

Grand Piano Like he's got to play the piece Just right so the piano unlocks the key There's also a funny bit in the scene Where she walks into the hotel room And she's like Oh where's Jim Nevers And Bert Reynolds is like

Oh Jim Nevers yeah he's dead and she's like wait what and he goes no that's a that's a joke and then like a few minutes goes by

it's a pretty good joke actually it's pretty funny and a few minutes goes by and something else comes up and she's like something something oh yeah

my sister and he goes like oh yeah where she living these days and she goes oh she's dead and he's like oh yeah

like that joke I just told that's pretty funny and she's like no no no no she's really dead she got hit by a tractor trailer and this is this is awkward, like silence where it's Burt Reynolds, like, yeah, yeah, really stepped in it there.

She kept up on asking Joe Pesci about his fucking shine box. You think Joe Pesci would try to beat up Burt Reynolds? Oh, yeah. I think so. I think he would easily win, too. Yeah, I mean, he's like a, he's a rabid wolverine. He's going to get you, you know? He'll ditch you in a corner and then it's over.

So after this dinner where Jim neighbors, like, you know, virgin blocks the whole situation, they go down to the hotel. bar because it's been four minutes and we haven't been in a hotel bar. So we've got to get back to one before we all turn into pumpkins. And all the NASCAR drivers are there because they're on the tour, right? So it's like the tour, you know, hotel and everything. So everybody from the

circuit's there. And they're they start off by like, Bert Reynolds walks around the corner and a couple of these guys are using like room service, like tables, like wheeled tables to race. And Bert Reynolds. Because if you like racing, you just like

racing in anything. Yeah, I mean, you've got to race every minute every day. Well, some hijacks in the parking lot. And so like Bert Reynolds sneaks up behind this guy who's about to push our Aubrey Jones guy or whatever his name is. And, uh, Aubrey James. And he's like, hey, uh, let me, uh, get in here and push him for you. And so in, in probably what could have been considered attempted murder. Oh, yeah. Like, Bert Reynolds pushes this poor guy through a

glass pain, this huge pain window. And then the guy lands in a pool, just covered in glass, possibly unconscious, cut everywhere. It's insane. And then we have the weirdest ADR laugh of Bert Reynolds, man, going like, ah, ha, ha. But everyone. Ha ha ha. It happens twice. Everyone in this hotel, even the people in the pool who could have been hurt, everybody is laughing.

that this guy got pushed through a window like everyone is laughing someone's got to clean the glass out of the pool you're draining that pool you're draining that pool everybody's out like if there was a lightguard on duty although it's you know a shitty you know motel pool so probably not but if there was one they'd all be out of the pool everybody's out of the pool

we're shutting down for weeks weeks on weeks behind bars clearly I mean he the fact that he doesn't have just a few nicks it's just a little bit insane, I feel. It's crazy. And so Lonnie Anderson goes back to Ned Beatty's hotel room to be like, all right, so here's the business of the day. And then Ned Beatty, fairly mild-mannered Ned Beatty throughout most of this movie, turns into a fucking sex-crazed maniac. And you're like, what is going on in this movie right now? Like,

she comes in and she's like, oh, I'm sorry to wake you in the middle of the night. And he's like running around this room, like, all right, it's no trouble. No trouble at all. And he's like locking the door and like trying to put his shirt on but he's still in his underwear and he's like just like getting all fucking horned up this is like out of reefer madness it's in you'll notice that ned baitie has smoked a marijuana cigarette i mean i think he's he's spiked i think he's straight up horson marijuana deadly deadly stuff marijuana man i deadly stuff that uh that that original like reefer madness movie that movie's awesome it's so fucking stupid like wow man talk about propaganda yeah it's you can catch it in full on

youtube but wow yeah it's a recommend it's a total right of man people for those who don't know what reefer madness is it's like it's a propaganda film about like the dangers of smoking weed and it's just like people smoke joints and then kill each other i think it was like a whole documentary just made about the making of well after after you watch Riefer Maness, watch Unchay Andalue to see the pro arguments. Yes, just marijuana with Unchin Andaloo. That's how you started off, you know? You can't climb the mound all in once.

I mean, at this point, I'm surprised Ned Beatty isn't seeing a fucking dead baby walking up the wall. Like, I mean, it's that crazy. He's lost his mind that much. And so she's, she realizes what's going on. And she's like, oh, fuck, he's going to attack me. And like, she jumps on, because here's what he does by the way he fucking cuts a strap on her dress with like a knife or like scissors or something oh it's for serious and she's like whoa whoa what the fuck's going on and she like jumps on the bed and he's like no no no quit playing hard to get play it hard to get here we go it's going to happen and she's like oh my god like oh fuck like this is a dangerous situation right now he jumps on the bed and he's like jumping on the mattress like come on baby come on baby and she gives him the greatest kick to the fucking scrode has seen. It's a real ball buster. And he's got a good, like, oh, my nerds, and falls over.

Yeah, and when she tells Bert Reynolds and Jim Neighbors about it, she actually says that he kicked him in his scrotum. She's like, I kicked him in his scrotum. And they don't know what a scrotum is. But Bert Reynolds turns to Jim Neighbors, and he's like, Scrotum. What's a scrotum? And he's like, well, I don't know, but I'll find out. And they're like, the two of them are, like, working on the car,

like she and Jim Neighbors. so he, like, goes back under to be like, oh, hey, Lonnie Anderson, what's a scrotum? Well, it's actually this part underneath the penis. It's right over here, and, you know, holds everything. Oh, I just called out all the penis. Isn't it all the penis? Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, I'm not supposed to, I'm not supposed to jam the whole thing in.

Oh, you're talking about my beanbag. I always get the beanbag in there last. Oh, my Lord. Stuffing turkeys for many a year. good god what the fuck is going on over on that side of the room oh it sounds like chris cabin here he's got his own case of refra badness yeah i might have spiked up he might just have done it he's come down with the deadly deadly stuff there's a great scene of reaper madness where dude's like smoking a spliff and like tickling the ivories you know he's got like one

of them the jazz cigarettes in his mouth and he he has this look on his eyes he looks like the Joker. Yes. Just fucking, they, like, paint their faces all white, and they've got, like, bags and they look like raccoons, like ghostly raccoons. Maybe that was the basis of the Joker back in the day. Yeah, you know, he wears a suit suit. He's into jazz.

He's a refurb addict. That's just all the Joker was, maybe. He was just a pipeette. He's just a fucking, you know. He's just a cool dude. It's a real cool cat, that Joker. Love that Joker. So speaking of attempted rapes.

Oh, yes, because, you know, it's... It's not long after this that... It's a doubleheader. Bert has his turn and turn to go. This is ridiculous. So, like, apparently she's fallen in love with him. I guess that's a deleted scene on the DVD. Yeah, well, 25 minutes out of this cut.

Hey, why don't you lose this scene? Putting a scene of me, uh, murdering that Aubrey guy. How about I take a life? There should be more of this type of scene. Because he's supposed to be the fucking villain of the movie. Like, he's his rival. But they make, like, the Ned Beatty shenanigan so important. And Ned Beatty's, like, not a villain.

He's just like, well, you sign this contract and you have to work for me. Biggish buffoon. Like, it's not like he's actually going to, like, question. Like, Bert Reynolds, all he has in this movie, the only thing he has to lose is the money. And they don't even make that a big deal. No, it doesn't matter because he's got mounds of money. and that's the problem with this movie as nothing matters.

Like, why isn't Aubrey James the young upstart race car driver? Why isn't he bullying Bert Reynolds about the chicken thing? There's no... It seems like there's no real reason for Bert Reynolds to retaliate against this guy

other than the fact that he's young and he's having his sloppy seconds. Yeah. I feel like if it's more about... If the movie is about two drivers that are pitted against each other, you're kind of forced to have more race car stuff, which you're just not affording

on the stroke race budget. So it's like, well, if he's fighting with the team owner, that guy's not racing a car. So that guy can fall victim to all sorts of shenanigans. Yeah, I mean, I don't like Rush, but if this movie was more like Rush, Limba? Yes.

Or the Ron Howard picture. Oh, right, about that Rush driver. The Rush of the Drive. Like, if it was about that, I'd get it, and I'm fine with that movie. But, like, this is just like, the chicken thing is what pissing me off most, because you're expecting somebody to really fucking jam it in.

And it's just some guy at a bar. Yeah, he's like, oh, look at that. Cluck, cluck, cluck, there goes stroke a race. And the huge bar fight does break out, which is pretty great. A lot of good punches thrown in that one. But so we're at another, yet another hotel room. I feel like there was a lot of, like, are you guys making a movie in there? No, all right.

They find out, and they have to move production to the holiday and down the street. No, I bet there was a lot of times where Burt Reynolds had to go down to the lobby and smooth things out with the manager. It's like, oh, it's a Burt Reynolds movie. Oh, he's signed a lot of pictures. Yeah. And there's probably still in those Marriott's today. He autographed the guy's copy of Infinite Jest and everything was fine. Grease those tracks.

You know, I didn't write this, right? You know, I don't even know what this is, right? So, yeah, so she's like, oh, remember that time you kept telling me it was, non-alcoholic champagne. Well, you're such a silly liar. You did it again. And now I'm drunk. And he's like, yeah, that's right. We're falling in love. It's like, oh, my God. This is what love is. I slip something into your drink. So she's like, I think I'm ready for you to take my virginity while we're on this fucking NASCAR tour, probably just in another part of Florida. It's really romantic. Yeah. Well, this hotel room did have a balcony, which it's nicer than most of the hotel rooms in this movie. So she's like, I'm going to pay extra for that.

You do. You got to pay a lot extra. So she's like, listen, I'm going to go off this balcony back into the room. And I'm going to be waiting for you there. And he's like, all right, one way ticket to Bonertown. Let's go. So he does his one way ticket to Bonertown dance for three minutes. He packs his bags to go to Bonertown, which is actually throwing away his bags, which had prophylactics.

Yeah, prophylactics, you know, the pills for the crabs, the wash and everything. And he walks back into the room and she's passed out because she doesn't drink. And she's had like three glasses of champagne and she's done. And then we get five minutes of Burt Reynolds really, really going back and forth about whether or not he's going to rape her. Yeah. Like that's what's going on. He's like, uh-huh. Well, I know this is wrong, but who's going to know?

And he's like talking out loud. Like he's talking to Lonnie Anderson. And he's just like, you know, sex is really great. Wish you were up so we could do some sex. Enjoy it more if you were awake. Yeah, sure would have been better if you weren't unconscious. You know, I don't think anybody sleeps with a bra. So we can stick that off.

We're not even joking here. Like, this is actually what happens. Yeah, and it's like, I guess in that era, it was viewed as a lesser offense that it is the day. Yeah. But it's just mind-boggling to see this happen. Like, he's talking to. and he's like, oh, I heard, what does he say?

He's like, I heard it's bad for you to fall asleep with a bra because it cuts off your circulation. He takes his, she, he does take her shirt off. He doesn't take her bra off, but, and then he also takes off like her undergargar garments. Well, yeah, like she's got, she's just got like a, like a nighty on or something like that. It's like, it ties in the front. It totally comes off.

Don't worry. So he's just like pulling the one little string and it like opens up and he's just like, yeah, that way you, uh, It'll add airflow through you. It cool you off there. Yeah. Yeah. And then he breaks the fourth wall and addresses the audience, like, directly.

Like, is this so bad? Like, that's, he, what he says, like, looking at Lonnie Anderson, he's like, would it be, he basically says, like, would it be so bad if I did this? Because nobody's going to find out. And then he looks at the camera, like, well, what do you think for people in the movie theater? If a tree gets raped in the woods, does anyone, uh, no one's around, press charge? No one's around to hear it. Listen, did that tree get right?

If a tree gets raved in the woods, you're going to the town dendrophiliac, and you're putting that dude in the slammer. Into the jail. He's got to go. He's got to be put away. But, like, I just imagined, like, because I hate that. I do hate that when, like, you're doing all the movie, it's all in the world, and then just the one little peekout is, you know, what do you think people who are watching this movie? It's so stupid, man. You're either, like, you're either Kevin Spacey and House of Cards, and you're doing it all the time, or you're not doing it.

You got to go full cuffs or nothing. If you're not going full cuffs, I don't care. And, like, who do you think you're talking to? Like, who in the audience is going to be like, yeah, you go, Bert? Oh, dude, please, a ton of dirtbag Bert Reynolds fans. That's who. a bunch of dirtbag 1983 dudes going to see this.

Yeah, what's wrong with it, Bert? It's probably hooting and a hollering. Oh, yeah. I mean, I imagine it being like shown in prisons and then like, yeah, that's happening. This movie was definitely shown in prison. It has to be, right? And the driving circuit, so, you know,

all those guys can... I suppose that's true. So maybe some people are saying, yeah, Bert, do it. But they shall be arrested. Well, not arrested. This is 1983. It's not how our society function then, unfortunately. No, I think. you got a medal.

I got a medal for that. It was that backwards, that recently. This is what I don't understand, though, and I don't know if it's just they're purposefully unclear or what's going on. But the next scene is like the next day they're having breakfast, and she's like, she's like, oh, Bert Reynolds, you know, you could have done stuff to me, but you didn't. Like, oh, you know, thank you for being such a gentleman. And I think what winds up happening here is he's kind of like, oh, yeah.

Yeah, well, would it really have been so bad if I did or something like that? Because then she starts crying and Jim Neighbors punches him in the face when he's making that phone call. Yeah, because he might have actually, he might have actually done it. That's the thing. And I don't know if it's just like... He claims he doesn't later, but like it seems like he just got caught with his hand in the cookie jar. He definitely is congratulating himself for not raping her. Oh, that's for sure.

That's a big thing here. But like, I think that that scene, because it is a very confusing. What I think happens is when she's crying is because she thinks he's such a good guy. Like, she's just so overcome with emotion. Oh, and the Jim neighbors just assumes that he's raised her. I know your track record, Stroker. Another virgin, disgraced. Oh, really, stroker.

Punch. So the other subplot here, uh, he meets up at another promotional stunt at like some county fair. He meets up with his buddy that we met at the very beginning of the movie and his dad was the moonshine runner. Highlander. The Highlander.

So he meets back up with the son and the father. I'm now running moonshine. Stroker, you must use the stick shift. Stick shift, get it. I'm bringing the code tomorrow.

Drive shaft. Hey, ha. So it turns out that his buddy has turned to acting, right? This is a very important thing because it, like, brings about the final scam of the movie. So he's like, yeah, Stroker, I'm getting into acting these days. Isn't that something? And Bert Reynolds is just like, yeah, who would want to be an actor? Sounds pretty stupid.

But also Highlander is the only note you have of him, you know, over all these years, surviving all of this. Is that now he's making jewelry out of manure? Yep. That's fucking gross, dude. And Bert Reynolds goes, hey, yeah, it's how your dad's make some jewelry out of manure, huh? He's like the Cartieraca. Yeah. Yeah, that's right.

You think that was improvised? I want to say that to improvise. Yeah, you know, it's 50-50, but I'm leaning towards improv. And then, like, Hal Needham was like, cut. Oh, my God, Bert, that was just. just fantastic. What a joke. Bert, that's staying in the final cut. I don't know if they can guild platinum, but that was gilded platinum.

So, Bert Reynolds sends, because again, the only way Bert Reynolds can get out of working for the chicken pit racing team is if he gets fired by Ned Beatty. So he says to this actor friend, he's like, I got, I got an acting gig for you. So this guy walks into Ned Beatty's office, pretending that he is an executive from like the Miller Brewing Company. He's ready to buy the chicken pit for this exorbitant amount of money with the one stipulation that he fires Bert Reynolds as a driver. And so it's like, oh, well, I got to see because he's like winning races again or something. Like he's got to sleep on it. Yeah, I guess like this guy who's working for a beer company. finds Burt Reynolds too distasteful to be a representative.

I mean, I don't know. I mean, he wants more of a Jim Neighbors type, I feel. Yeah, well, you know, Miller Brewing, it's a family company. Is it? Yeah, sure. That's all they care about. Yeah, right? Why not?

I think, maybe. So he also has a stipulation there that he needs to decide by, um, by Sunday at 4 o'clock or something. Yeah, it's like Sunday at 4. You're introducing a clock an hour into your movie. It's so dumb. I forget what it was. No, it's really specific.

Actually, I've written it down. He has until Sunday, October 23rd at 4 p.m. To decide, yes. Well, and the whole thing is that's the last day of the racing season. And it's going to, like, this race is like he, it will determine whether or not Bert Reynolds is the champion of the year or whatever and so he's like

well I don't want to fire him if he wins the championship you know I'll look stupid and the guy's like well you know you gotta do so whatever so we're down to the final race Bert Reynolds

There's also a quick little interlude that I don't want to lose here where Bert Reynolds you know obviously trying to get fired for some reason Ned Beatty's chasing him with Hightower Intel this is just a random excuse That's why I skip talking about it because it makes no fucking sense.

It's just straight blues brothering. Yeah. Let's have a quick moment where Ned Beatty accidentally crashes, well, Hightower, I guess, accidentally crashes him and Ned Bady through a police picnic and into a lake for no other reason than just to do a Blues Brothers bit. Yeah, it's just so you can see Ned Bady like have to get out of a car that's in a pot. Now I'm really angry. All the police are like, Yeah, there's

nothing that comes of it. They're not going to help him. They just crashed a car into a lake. You knocked over a whole plate of hot dogs. Jimmy's coleslaw is all over the fucking ground. You know how long it takes you to make that coleslaw? Two whole days. So it in vinegar for an entire fucking week before we even

add the mayonnaise. They hold them down and then they take all that coal slah and all those hot dogs and they make them squeal like a pig. Oh no. No, actually, that's a cutscene. That doesn't happen. Oh, no, it's happening again.

I thought I was rid of this when I got out of the Ozarks. That's why Hal said this was round two. Oh, God. Hal Needham. Goes up to Ned Beatty and says, this is round two for you. That's his entire direction for the scene. He's like, round two, buddy. Wait, what?

Deliverance, a production I was not a part of. You were round two. two, or is it called, or is it called round two because that's the shoot for number two? Oh, Lord. I'm trying to get the physics. I'm trying to figure out what's going on on that side of the room. Still. We're just fucking tickling the blackies.

It's a jazz cigarette joke. But we're no, we're sober as J.Birds. Totally. Unfortunately. Yeah, well. Talking about this Bert Reynolds movie. I'm not going to say what I was when I watched this movie, but. Right now.

You've seen dead babies on the wall? I was seeing a few dead babies on the wall. So we're at this final race. And Ned Beatty wants him to throw the race for some reason. The details about fucking four o'clock and whether or not he's going to fire him and why. I don't know. It's some stupid shit where it's like, okay, like if he throws the race, I can fire him. We'll be done with this because he can't.

Because it's like he's coming down to the wire. Am I going to fire him or not? It depends on if he wins the race. It's a question of his. pride all, which doesn't make it. It's like a pride thing. He's like, look, I want you to throw it. Yeah. And then I will let you go. Right. But if, and if you win, though, I'm keeping you. But, like, he's coming second, like, four times in this movie. Yeah. Like, behind Aubrey James. He's, like, he's lost. So his pride is fucking gone. Because he's too busy driving the car and fucking chicken suits.

It's like one of this, it's like, even though it's a con and even though, Badey would get no money out of this. For some reason, Ned Bitt, I mean, for some reason Burt Reynolds is just like, well, I don't want him getting what he wants or something. Like, yeah. It's like, I'm against him no matter what. So if he's against me winning, then I'm

going to win. Well, this is a double triple cross. Like he... He's crossing himself. Yeah. He's this stupid. So whatever, he fucking wins the race. Like, there's one point in the middle. The crash man is redonculus. He causes

like Bert Reynolds and Auburn James like kind of get into this car fight but then like Aubrey James accidentally hits this other car and like kills this guy it causes a huge pile up a huge stock footage pile up and they're like well we're gonna have to stop the race for a little bit

I'm like no don't stop the race finish the movie you basically showed me a snuff film what's the ramifications of this I saw 50 cars crash no we're the stretchers man fucking get roll of stretchers come i'm sure there were car crashes everything is fine everyone was a everyone's an immortal highlander it was nascar in the eighties everyone lived forever

welcome to nascar outer world we all fly on dragons man oh you know what maybe it's burr Reynolds dragon racer or it's like twisted metal the video games black and an ice cream truck Sub Zeros Ice cream truck to go Oh yeah So they win And Bert Reynolds gets fired

And then he's like Ned Bailey's like Oh yeah Well you're looking at the richest man You're ever gonna meet He's like dancing around And then like The actor friend comes over

And he's dressed up like a good old boy again The father has also pretended to be an act. He's been doing some acting for some reason. I don't really understand. He's just been like he's, the guy said, I'm going to have a guy there to watch the race. Right. And that's

the father, the father comes into play, the guy who's just watching the race. But what does it matter? Why doesn't the friend just be the guy watching the race with Ned Beatty? Because it shows that he has power. He can even order people around. Oh, I see. He's got sway. Yes, the Miller shadow organization.

Yeah. Always had played. I see. so then like the guy comes out the two the father and the son they're dressed up as good old boys again and he's like well you might want to think twice because you just got con by two grade a actors and ned bady like does a double take like oh oh that stroker ace and then bert reynolds and jim neighbors at the same time punched ned bady in the face you want to talk about a fatality man that poor fat old man's dead yeah he gets punched right the fuck out the the credit should be his funeral, like, they should be over his funeral. But instead, again, after a violent act, there's just a ton of laughing. Everyone just starts fucking laughing at him. It makes no sense. At some point, also, High Tower joins the Bert Reynolds racing team. Yeah, they need some.

Because they're like, oh, the carjack broke. And High Tower comes over, he's like, yeah, I'll take care of it. And just lifts the car up. Yeah. Why not? Sure. Why not? And then, yeah, we just, we end on a blooper reel to just show everyone's having a great time making stroke grays.

Well, I mean, that was the Burt Reynolds special. Yeah. The fucking blooper reel. Yeah, yeah, totally. It's just. Did anyone make it through that blooper reel? I watched it all. Really?

I couldn't. I watched like the first one because he's just, he's playing with a clapper and I'm like, nope, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. It's a lot of them playing with clappers in the car. Like, it's just clap, clap, clap. And it's a lot of not even, um, it's not even the slay. you know, they're just using the clapper to like sink the sound from inside the car and it's just Jim Neighbors like

playing with it like, I got some clappers in front of my face. This is how I entertain myself on the set of stroke rays. You've been in film and television for over 30 years. I've been some fucking professionalism. Yeah, let's get it together, buddy. A historical television character

actor. Yeah. Give it a rest. If they know that bird is big on the bloops, maybe they were like, I want to get in on that bloops reel. Oh, yeah. I got to do something wacky. I got to do a real boner, so I make the blooper reel. You know, that's like half the movie right there.

That's what they talk about on their way home. It just looked like we had just the best time on that set. The bloops are the last thing they see before they leave the theater. You got to get a bloop in. Your career is over if you don't get a bloop in. But you got to be. careful, though. You can't be pulling two minute bloops because then you'll get fired from the movie

for wasting everybody's time. You can't step on Bert's bloops. Well, Hal said... You got to respect the bloop master. Well, Hal said that we, you know, we're going to end on a low note, and that's Ned Beatty's obvious demise after being punched in the face by both

of us, me and Bert. And, you know, you want to get some uplift before the... Everybody goes out into the lobby, so we put some bloopers in. And I thought it was a real fun time to distract attention away from a poor old man getting punched to death here's some bloops he needed a closed casket because this fucking skull kid it was just yeah it was just a hollowed out husk i mean you you being no good you know hometown people you've been

to a supermarket ever seen ground beef that's what ned bade his face looked like after me and bert were done with him his mama was just crying and i said we got to put some bloops in at the the end of that movie. They ended up cutting that length of funeral procession. But the bloops were still good anyway. You know, we still kept the bloops. And I mean, I think that's what people are going to take from the movie. Oh, the bloops.

This whole movie's a fucking bloop, man. Would anybody recommend Stroker Ace? No, I would not. I think you might as well just watch Talladega Nights. Yeah. Yeah. And I don't know. What's a good Bert Reynolds movie?

Well, I think Cannonball runs a good Bert Reynolds movie. I mean, it's crazy. It's crazy. So Smoking the Bandit. They're fucking crazy movies. But of this world of those movies, like those are the better. I mean, this is like. Oh, what am I saying?

Deliverance. There you go. Yeah. This is really good. Watch Talladega Nights and Deliverance back to back. And if you want a real laugh, riot, watch Bert Reynolds star. star in Boogie Nights. Oh, man.

He'll be laughing all the way to the bank. You know, I didn't know that him and P.T. Anderson had like a Gene Hackman, Wes Anderson thing going on. Oh, they hated each other's guts. Well, I guess what happened was that the, I think the Jason Robar's part, possibly in Magnolia,

P.T. Anderson had wanted to give to Burt Reynolds. Oh, really? And while they were doing press for Boogie Nights, like P.T. Anderson kept on asking questions over Bert Reynolds. Bert Reynolds got so angry he punched him in the face.

What? And immediately Pete Anderson's like, yeah, no, I'm not going to put him in my next movie. Wow. I'm just pulling up the internet ticket here. He's got two movies out this year. Bert Reynolds does? I mean, that's what,

that was good about Boogie Nights is that now he can make like garbage, you know, the sideline movies. He can bust out like five of those a fucking year. He's got a family dog comedy out this year called Hamlet and Hutch. I mean, what's interesting to me about Burton Redmond's, and I was going through, and I was just looking at all the fucking things that he lost out on or just turned down.

Yeah. And it's like unbelievable. He lost out to Nicholson twice. One, because he didn't want to be in terms of endearment, so he could be in this movie. Yikes. That's got to haunt your dreams. Well, this is what I said before we went on the air. Like, he's probably not winning the Oscar like Nicholson did.

But you're at least in terms of Endearment and not Stroker Ace. Part of a classic movie. Yes. And James, you're working with fucking James L. Brooks. Yeah, totally. This is something you can be proud of. This, less so. This got Arnold W. Raspberry put this up for the Razzie's big time.

Oh, I love it. Oh, Stroker Ace is on over the ballot this year. Ooh! Oh, the Razzies. But also, like, he, they, they originally fucking, uh, Milo's Foreman wanted him for one floor over the cuckus nest. For the Nicholson roll? They were for the Nicholson roll. And the, and United Artists said no to it.

But I would like just to name, uh, two movies that he turned down the lead roles in. You may. Star Wars a new hope. He was going to be Hans Solo. Wow. Two. Die hard. Oh, really?

He was originally slated to be John McCain. John. That I believe. Now, I mean, he just recently turned this one down. Yeah, yeah. I'm a senator from Arizona now. These Nakatomi towers, my friends, they're just, they're not going to get these terrorists out themselves. We're going to have to go in and get them.

My friends, Nakatomi will not fall under my watch. This has truly been a die heart. I want that to be. That fucking piece of shit's last words. His life, my life, my friend, has truly been a diehard. And he fucking expires. And then you throw him in a fucking dumpster. I mean, yeah, it's a big no.

Jeez. Yeah, don't. Whatever. Don't ever spend your time or if you had money for this movie. I will say one role that I think he doesn't get enough credit for, his role in Citizen Roof. man i forgot he's even in citizen ruth he's really good in it it's a really funny movie it's a role that's tailored to him he does it very well i thought um but yeah this movie's garbage

oh you know his appearance on archer i was just gonna say himself as bert reynolds yeah uh yeah i would not recommend this movie i would recommend you watch boogie nights or smoking the bandit or cannibal run one or two i don't know just this movie's just maybe uh go outside it's summer yeah yeah this is a real just go outside, leave the movies alone for the week. I usually would never say that you should do this instead, but go to an actual NASCAR race. Sure.

I got nothing against NASCAR. I don't watch it, but go out to the races. I will say the B-Row, not only do they get B-Row of the crashes, they get B-Row of the audiences, and there is one shot, and you got to look for it, but it's there, where there is like a close-up. This guy is in the

center of the frame, and he is picking his ass in front of the camera, and it's amazing. well it's in a bert reynolds movie man ass picking is a okay sweaty ass bert reynolds movie exactly right that's stroker ace from 1983 directed by the late great hal need him if you want to get a hold of us and check out more information about the show visit our website w hm podcast dot com you can also like our facebook page join the conversation on there facebook dot com slash we hate movies and follow us on twitter we're at w hm podcast we are actively uh uh chatty in both of those areas of the internet. So get at us. Join the talk. We all hate movies at gmail.com. That is the website for

the WHM mailbag. We got a monthly thing now. We're going to be reading email. So if you got something related to Bert Reynolds, maybe some of you out there got them to sign a copy of Infinite Jest. We want to read it on the air. We all hate movies at gmail.com. Rate and review the show wherever you may get it, which is iTunes, Stitcher Radio, wherever else. It increases the profile of our show. And we would be very appreciative to you for doing so. Blame it on Outer Space, Eric's Conspiracy Theory comedy show. Comedy show. It's a fucking comedy show,

everybody. My God. Some of these emails that I read. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. People are pretty dumb. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a comedy show. It's very funny. Blamen on Outerspace.com at Blamenspacepod on Twitter. And, of course, their Facebook Manson family, Facebook.com slash Blaming on Outerspace.

What's going on over at the Blame it on Outer Space studios these days? Big shake-up. Big shake-up. I'm glad you asked. I can't. legally speak of it, but I'll tell you what the episode is coming up. Very exciting. Alex Jones is Bill Hicks, question mark. Did Bill Hicks fake his death and become Alex Jones?

I mean, that would be, yeah, that would be a reveal, I feel. That would be a reveal. And maybe, just maybe, something gets revealed. So, yeah, too, maybe. Maybe it is the truth. What a nice teaser. That's pretty great. The hair on the back of my neck is sticking up.

No, because I'm just thinking about it. I'm like, man, like, why would it... I mean, this is probably a question and answer, but why would a great person like Bill Hicks choose to live his life like a lunatic like Alex Jones? You're just going to have to tune in? Throw him off the scent, I guess. But, yes, we will have to listen and find out.

Blame it on Outerspace.com. Every other Wednesday, the show drops. That's it for us. Clue for next week's episode. Eric Siska. Mark Wahlberg. Dun, dun, dun, da. Wow, that could be a whole host of things.

So until we get to the bottom of that Boston Barrel, I'm Andrew Juppin. Chris Cabin. Eric Siskin. Take it easy.