We Hate Movies - S5: Animation Damnation #11 - Life with Louie: A Christmas Surprise for Mrs. Stillman

Episode Date: December 24, 2014

On this Animation Damnation, the gang takes a terrifying look at the Life with Louie Christmas special, "A Christmas Surprise for Mrs. Stillman"! Caution: Impressions of both Louie Anderson and Roseanne Barr abound!  Okay, now this is really all the material we have for 2014. Have a fantastic holiday season and we'll see you all in 2015. Thanks so much for listening this year! Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

So if you guys were having, like a cartoon made, so if you guys were having like a cartoon made of your childhood, And they showed you, like, the early sketches and the early sketch of you, like, the character that's you as a little boy, looked like something created on the aisle of Dr. Moreau. Would you give notes back to the animators or what? I think I'd walk, man. Like, I am not being... Just walk right off the project. I have not been a little pig creature. Like, I know I'm a fat comedian and, like, hey, that's the gag.

Yeah. But, like, his nose is a pig nose. You know, I would have said, you nailed it. That's exactly what I looked like But it's like pig nose And then like he's got essentially two front teeth Yeah That are so far apart

Like the only teeth on the top of his mouth Yeah Are two front teeth Yeah That are so far apart They look like pig fangs Like wardhog fangs He looks like Goofy

The grossest version of Goofy A goofy Louie hybrid Like if Goofy was on Jupiter And the gravity was such That it smushed him Into like this blob Yes

Welcome to anime Damnation, Number 11. I'm Andrew Juppin, alongside Eric Siska and Stephen Sadek. We're talking about Life with Louis, the cartoon from the 90s, the Louis Anderson cartoon. This episode, it was actually, it's not from the series itself. It's a Christmas special. It's a series premiere, actually. This was the first thing they ever did.

Yeah, which was a Christmas surprise for Mrs. Stelman, which aired December 18th, 1994. And what a way to not get me in the Christmas spirit watching this horror show. Well, speaking to which, the first thing you see is Louis Anderson wrapping presents. Oh, hey there, everybody, just wrapping some gifts all by myself. I know. He's got no family, nobody near him. You need, like, at least a family dog. Yes, get me a dog in that shot. It's just a creepy middle-aged guy wrapping presents and things.

telling you stories. Yikes. I remember my emotionally abusive childhood. It was kind of funny. That's all this cartoon is, which is weird, because I was saying this to Eric before we went on the air. Like, you watch

like some of his stand-up from the 80s, and it's really funny. Like, he's got a very nice, like, acerbic wit to him. It's very dry. He had a very good delivery. And that's fine when you're talking about your shitty dad. Yes. Instead, Hand up comedy.

Yes. Making a cartoon for children, not as much. Well, it was originally aired in prime time, so I think this idea was maybe we're going to do a Simpsons critic situation. Right, but that dad is not toned down when it went to Fox Afternoons. No, it's not. He's just a fucking miserable fuck with a thousand-yard stare. It's like if Louis Anderson voiced the dad from the Wonder Years in a cartoon.

Because remember that miserable prick on that show? But even he was a little bit cuddly. This guy is just like a fucking Todd Salon's guy. You know what I mean? Like he's reading Tiger Beat magazine in the backseat of his car in the Kmart parking lot. No, I just mean he's a human nightmare.

You know what I mean? Like all of Todd, everyone in Todd Solens movies are different kinds of human. Not everybody's a child molester. No. Everyone stems from some sort of a human nightmare. Everyone's a monster.

And this guy is a cartoon monster. You're very right. So is Louie, actually. I mean, you got a little pig man. as like your oldest son you have the character of the older sister who's only ever seen in silhouette which is weird you've got the little

brother that looks like the little brother from South Park which is weird you got the mom who she's just learned to be quiet over the years and then you got this dad who's like got little toothpick legs and this gigantic barrel chest all I can think about this entire time was when did they do the episode

of this cartoon where this dad has a massive cartoon heart attack because he's just screaming and yelling and he's big and gross. It's upsetting. And I don't want to celebrate Christmas with these people. People are hitting people is all I'm going to say. It's the 70s sort of

I think it's earlier than that. Yeah, it's 60s. Yeah, because he's talking about the big one. Yeah, yeah, no, I think it's supposed to, I mean, because Louis Anderson right now is like 60, I think he's, I saw 90B 61 or something like that. So, I mean, this is like, it's back there. It's the, you know, he's like the early 60s.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, this guy's. Jeff is still in power. So, I mean, this was a weird trend in the 90s where we were like, okay, here's a really successful comedian. We got a couple of things for it. Maybe, is he going to be a sidekick in action movies? No, not really. How about we give them a sitcom? Everybody likes a good sitcom. How about we animate their childhood? Yeah.

Bobby's World? Lil Rosie. You remember that shit? Holy shit. Yeah. Lil Rosie was the cartoon of the childhood of Roseanne Barr. Oh, my God. How many kids died watching that?

Is that like the ring? I forgot about Little Rosie. Wow. What is the marketing strategy? Like, these are not, they're all adult comedians. They all have, like, they're not like, you know, not that these are like cutting edge, like, fucking dice clay types. However, the dice clay was ever cutting edge. But you know what I mean?

Like, yeah. Adult oriented. Roseans, though, I don't understand because that sitcom was humongous. Why do you need a kid's car? tune. Yeah. I can understand Louis Anderson. Like, he had a failed sitcom on one of the networks that didn't really go that far. Howie Mandel, I can understand because who's watching my little monster that much. And also, Howie Mandel, at least Bobby's World, it was a different character. And it was a character he did in his stage shows. That's true. Yeah. He would

do a kid voice. That was the bit. And he would do, he would do that voice. Yeah, I really would like a little separation. Yes. I don't, yeah, I don't want it to be a little Louis Anderson. Lil Louie. That's what it should have been called, by the way. Lil Louis. You couldn't you get sued by Roseanne? Oh, that's right, Lil Roseanne.

Because I feel like Roseanne watched Louis Anderson's career like a hawk looking for a lawsuit. You're trying, Anderson. You try and play poker and eat fucking potato chips. I'll break your fucking neck, you know. I'll do it, you know. Watch, I'll fucking break

your goddamn neck. Tom! Do you see what he said? Oh, great. You're going to get your goons after me. Here come the Goon Squad, the Tom Arnold Goon Squad. Oh, yeah. I'm really scared at Tom Arnold.

Whoopty, fuck, Rosie. I just, man. God, I want this to be real. Petty battles between Louis Anderson and Roseanne. A fat comedian war is what I want. If we ever somehow strike it impossibly rich, can we make a movie about all these comedians fighting each other in some weird scenario?

No, that's a movie. Get the five families together. Gabriel Iglesias is there. It's like the late shift, but fat and mean, even meaner. And bigger budget, some explosions. And then, like, there's part of it, like, there's a real, there's a street fight that's about to happen. And then Jerry Seinfeld runs in. He's like, all right, everybody, keep it down.

And then Roseanne's just like, get out of here, stick figure. And fucking breaks, breaks Jerry Seinfeld over her knee. Dude, it would be great because you would have Louis Anderson and Roseanne really going toe to toe. And I mean, like, clobbering each other. Big time, like, they live just alley fight. And I was thinking of a Superman 2 fight. Like, he throws her into a huge Coke sign. I was thinking of King Kong versus Godzilla.

In a good way, I meant that. Yeah, sure. I mean, so Louis's a little Rosie's thunder here, right? He's got his little cartoon lifestyle. Yeah, and it's just, I mean, all of that cartoon was just like, it's based on, you know, material that he did. You know, I don't know how much of it was actually autobiographical, but a lot of it's like, here's another thing about how my dad was a prank. Mmm, delicious. I mean, this cartoon plot is so thin that it's like, how can it not be?

I don't know. It's like the dad comes home from work or whatever, right? Oh, he's always at work. He's livid about it. he's living about being home and he wants some quiet right you know all the all that's happening real tom barringer dad yeah exactly and all that's happening is the tv's on and he's already flippered out this cartoon does something that i hate when cartoons do when cartoons watch real live things on tv i hate it so much it makes me uncomfortable don't make me watch two

fucking planes of existence at one time they're watching what miracle in 34th street yeah yeah he's like What the fuck is this shit? Turn this on. What is this garbage? Louis, turn it on channel two. That it's good to you. Delineate it because there's two voices. He does two voices.

He certainly does. He does his dad where he uses his voice but a little bit higher. Hey, Louie, why are you so fucking fat? And then he's got this. He's got another voice for himself as a little kid. Right, dad. This is what I always wanted to sound like. I'm always whining about something.

And it's like, oh, man. Oh, man. It's like, pull this. car over. It's like he got the script mixed up and he's reading the... Oh no, I've been reading for my dad! Yeah, the dad should have the deep voice and the kid should have

the high... You didn't have that voice when you were a kid? It makes no sense that this is the way it's set up. It's so dumb. And let me tell you something. Did he have reverse puberty? He's like a Benjamin Button. Let me tell you something. God bless every other character

on this cartoon. Because when you have scenes where it's just the two of them yammering back and forth. It gives you a splitting headache. And this episode is a whole lot of that. Because the majority of this episode is the two of them decorating a neighbor's

house for Christmas. And it's just the two of them bitching back and forth at each other. About the pettiest shit. Hold the ladder. I thought I was. Put that line up. I thought I was doing that stupid. Dad, don't be so mean.

Shut up, Louing. He's so fucking fat. And the guy in the recording booth is like, oh, my God. You think he was doing a live read and just switching back and forth? He does it at the end. At the end, like, when he's, when we come back to him and rest, he's like, get those lights down. Oh, Jesus. It just gave me such a chill.

The bare minimum plot here is basically the, his mother is like, oh, that poor Mrs. Stillman. And, you know, her family's dad are moved away and she's poor. So she can't have a nice Christmas. I'm going to go over there and take her to the grocery store. Yep, because you can't afford to buy her own Christmas dinner, apparently. And in that time, you and your father are going to deck the halls through the roof that would take a day and a half. Yeah, exactly. You're going to go over there.

You're going to do it up real nice for this lady. and meanwhile this dad is doing all he can to keep himself from murdering this family with a shovel like this guy is at wits end 24-7 he sleeps angry he goes to the bathroom there's a butler in there oh things aren't going to the plan are they mr anderson you know i did notice that shiny new axe

you bought over thanksgiving just collecting dust in the garage Dad, are you still using the bathroom? Shut up. I just need the hair of the dog that bit me, Lloyd. Mom, dad's in there talking to the dead shining butler again. It's ridiculous. You should call a doctor. No, we're not paying medical bills, Louis, you fat.

You stupid little fat. It's just, it's so insulting to the man who made it and the people watching it. guy is just like, you know, it's a lot easier if I do, it's my eyes closed. You know, I usually don't, but I think today I feel, I hear it better with my eyes closed. Life with Louis, the cartoon where everybody gets fucked. You're screwed if you watch it. You're screwed if you're poor Louis Anderson. I don't know what kind of catharsis this guy was getting out of this.

A check. What he thought he was going to. But it's like, how much money was it that you're unearthing all of this pain, man? I mean, this guy was clearly a monster. So, yeah, this monster's wreaking havoc in the neighborhood. So, of course, the police show up. Yeah, he gets hassled by the fuzz in this episode. It's kind of a gag.

I mean, it's like kind of Simpson's light in a lot of ways. Yeah, it is. And, you know, he's like the surly dad. But, you know, it's kind of fun when Homer yells at Bart. Yeah. But he, he's the bad dad in the neighborhood. They're like, oh, Mr. Anderson's breaking into a house. And he's like, no, I.

I'm not. I'm spreading quick with you. Mr. Anderson. But I love that all the kids in the neighborhood know like what a shithead he is. Because like eventually the kids all, the guy is up on the roof like putting lights up or something. And the kids come up to this dark house to start caroling. And the sound of their angelic voices scares the shit out of this man. And he falls off the roof. And the kids are like, oh, look, it's Louis's dad, that big idiot.

Andy Anderson, wonder who he's going to punch in the face tonight. And we finally get voiceover from Louis, like, at that point, I was looking at my dad hanging for his life, and I wondered, should I just walk away? I could go next door and watch Miracle on 34th Street and turn the volume all the way up. Finally, I'd have my peace in quiet. Then I thought, what kind of life insurance policy does dad's union all? offer. Would mom and I be okay? Would I have to get a job? Then I thought, it's probably best to let the old man live a couple more years. I know that that left and right aorta just can't

hold out that much longer. Because again, there's no way this cartoon character isn't dying from a massive cartoon heart attack. Basically, the cops had accused him of potentially robbing this old lady's house and he's in cuffs like he's almost getting arrested he is getting arrested because he's obviously resisting and he's yelling that he fought in a war yeah you're going to take that guy downtown

straightened a couple of things out really belligerent I don't I you know he came home late at night number one not he's always at work yeah okay yeah just like Don Draper's always at the office this guy was boiler maker yeah he's pounded some bruskees back

that's for sure. And then Little Fat Louie emerges and he's like, you're taking my dad away. Can I hit him in the face with your baton or what? Just one.

Let me work them over a bit. I got all seven years of anger built up inside this little pig body. I got to get it out before he gets the chair. So they uncuff him and he's like,

ah, good, you're right. police officers and the guy drives away and he's like come on louis let's fix this i'm freezing my war wound off in the grossest line i've ever heard i totally missed that i'm freezing my war wound off freeze it off that's weird it's like hanging scar tissue somewhere yeah wouldn't you want that to freeze off take care of that i mean what i don't even know what you're talking about but also it's great that the pilot basically suck on my war wound the primetime show and the pilot

has a scene where it's like well I'm not going to arrest you in front of your kid like that's what that was they dress it up a little more family friendly but that's all that was and I'm sorry ask any cup once you get the cuffs on somebody you got to take him in yep that's it we'll figure it out downtown

what this little pig man is saying may be true point is we're going to figure it out downtown Hey, speaking of prime time, this might be an interesting thing to throw in here. Did you guys know that Louis Anderson was the original choice to play Cousin Larry on Perfect Strangers? And the producers just thought it wasn't working and he got fired. He got replaced by Marklin Baker, which is just, wow. Think about it. Saw that son of a bitch Mark Lynn Baker on the strip in Vegas recently.

Wanted to bite his fucking throne out. I could have all those adventures with Cousin Balki. I could have done it. I get a piece, Roseanne. I get a taste. All that perfect strangers money. I'll shake down that fucking Balki Bartakamu's. Me and my coons.

And then also. Real, I could not imagine. You know, I didn't. He'd dressed like the kingpin. It's got like a coat draped over his shoulders. Perfect casting. Yeah, a hat off to the side of it. But then also, I imagine.

in my world where Louis Anderson holds grudges against people which I'm sure he's like a very nice guy who's just making jokes here but in this fake world Louis Anderson also begrudges Bronson Pinchot for not standing up for him when the producers

made that call right? Oh yeah you didn't give a fuck you got green lighted either way Bronson you son of a bitch you should have stood up for me we were bunnies we were perfect strangers Bronson pincho's trying to trying to shop at a Macy's.

We should have scheduled the walkout. They couldn't have fired both of us. They couldn't replace you, Bronson. Oh, easily. They would have been... Okay. That's the end of that conversation. Hey, Marklin Baker got a brother.

Oh, man. So whatever. They decorate this woman's house. The kids help out. It's a big thing. It looks great. Old lady comes home. Oh, isn't this fantastic?

That's so nice. Takes the kids in. There's this great scene. This other kid. The car is coming around the corner. And this kid's like, that car's a piece of shit. It's never going to make it, Louis Anderson.

What's amazing is he knows that it's the Anderson family car. He's like, oh, there's that green shit box. Your mom's almost home. Green Rambler. I know that green Rambler anywhere. It's your shitty families. Hey, that car. is a classic, says

the angry father's seconds away from that cartoon heart attack. Oh, I'm going to hit that kid. I'm going to hit all these kids. See what happens then. See how much the Rambler sucks, man. And back then, you could totally do that, especially as a Vatman, you can just smack around any kid you want. No one

would care. Walk around kidding other people's kids. Unbelievable. What a world. I can't wait to get into a time machine and do it. So, what I think to be the one good joke in this entire episode I got a legitimate laugh out of it as did my wife is

Louis Anderson comes back in with the voiceover to tell us that while this woman was grateful that we did this for her turns out she didn't decorate for Christmas because she's Jewish and it's like a good like Louis Anderson doing the narration is uh you know

he gets enough of a pause in between the setup and the punchline and he's just like cause she's Jewish and it's something about it where we had to report her to the secret police it was that long ago dad was happy to make the call my dad fought for the Kaiser in the first war i mean he got he said he was doing his civic duty he must have done something right he got a promotion that work so then we yeah we go back to louis anderson for a second and it's just like still rapping these presents gang but from my invisible family to yore

Merry Christmas Just but yeah Watching him do it though Is so unsettling Like going from the dad Voice back down to his gift He wants gift He's like well good night

These ghosts will haunt me forever Hey You and me both buddy Sure hope this cartoon goes to series gang I got a lot more skeletons I got to get out of this closet Was anybody embarrassed watching this i was a bit i mean i i mean not that i'm going back for more episodes but it's

kind of competently made i think the character design is a real problem it's gross not just him but everybody like the baseline is critic you know what i mean it looks very everybody looks very critic-esque the way that they're on but like every the the father looks like this weird to burton nightmare the mom looks like a puffy like big hero six potato it's disgusting He does. The little brother's like a little doughball. He doesn't even have legs. It looks like an egg.

It's really weird. You know, I almost didn't mind this one just because of the the storyline was pretty straightforward. It wasn't like, it wasn't like totally ridiculous. Yeah. Yeah. So it was kind of like whatever. I wasn't too embarrassed.

I guess I was embarrassed listening to it. I mean, yeah, I find listening to this cartoon very horrifying. I wasn't embarrassed by it. I actually watched a lot of this. this cartoon as a kid. I watched a ton of Life with Louis. Because it was on that like Friday after school block. So you had

like it was like superheroes and then weird cartoons. Yeah, yeah. So it's like Cat. Yeah. Eek the Cat was around this time. So I was eat the cat. I was eating that up. Life with Louis like you had to do those things. And then like X-Men came on. You know what I mean? So it was all in that like after school block. I watched

a ton of this show. So this for me was a real like nostalgia moment. But at the time watching it now, I was like, like, why wasn't I more upset by these voices? Because this is horrifying. Life with Louis. Well, that's

animation damnation for this round gang. If you want more ADs, you can go to WHMpodcast.com. There's some that are on the main feed. There's some that are on the app only. Be on the lookout for more episodes. We do these once a month. We do mailbags once a month. We're trying to step up other side shows more once a month. This is the last

animation damnation of 204. It's a one-year anniversary of animation day. Is it really? We did the last one, the first one in December? Yeah. He-Man, Shira, Christmas special. He-Man, Shira Christmas special. I couldn't say it then.

You can't say it now. You know, I shortened it. He-rah. He-rah. That's sort of like, hoorah. Like, my war wounds getting wet out here. Well, God, gross. It could be rated.

Well, there's definitely going to be more animation damnations in 2015. So, stay tuned. Until the new year. into jubon. Eric Sisker. Steven Say that. Take it easy.