We Hate Movies - S5: Animation Damnation #14 - Captain Planet and the Planeteers

Episode Date: March 20, 2015

On this episode of Animation Damnation, the gang talk about an episode of the recycling superhero adventure show, Captain Planet and the Planeteers! The episode in question is "Talkin' Trash" which originally aired November 13th, 1993. What were the odds we found the one episode of this show with the least amount of Captain Planet? Did we really need the L.A. riots to be "tackled" on this cartoon? And did that kid really fall off a train and die? For more information about Animation Damnation subscribe on Patreon! Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

Isn't it kind of awkward how We're just saying where these kids are from, continent-wise in the opening credits. We can't be bothered with giving, like, a country of origin. Nope, not even Rio de Janeiro for our little friend, Heart. Is this what tripped up Sarah Palin? Because she was trying to think of, like, countries, but she just kept confusing them with Captain Planet characters.

Yeah, exactly. Oh, Earth and Wind and, oh, no, those aren't even Catan's. Oh, you know what? And I don't even have a heart. Could have used help from that little South American boy. Welcome to Animation Damnation Number 14. I'm Andrew Jupin alongside Eric Siskin and Steve Sadek. I almost said Chris Cabin. He's not here at all.

No, the ghost of him is here. By the way, still alive. Well, we don't know. We're, you know. I haven't seen him in a couple days, but I'm only assuming. Today we're talking about an episode of Captain Planet and the Planetiers. It's an episode called Talking Trash, which originally aired November 13th, 19. This, much like a pattern that develops on this show, when we're talking about franchise things, this is an episode of Captain Planet ostensibly without Captain Planet. Well, I feel like that's, but wasn't that the whole show, though?

It was always Captain Planet would only stop by when he was good and goddamn ready. But you're correct, but the difference is, like, where it was like a DeusX Captain Planet, you know, he'd come in at the end and like save the day because they just fucked it up because they're little kids with magic jewelry. who like to recycle right sure this is the beginning of the movie or the beginning of the episode he comes and helps out and then he's like oh i hurt myself well see you later and you just get this wheeler solo episode captain planets got a hernia captain planet's got to sit this one out kids where does he go is there a dimension in which like there must be maybe it's every like planet's champion goes to some like valhalla somewhere oh that could be probably located in the middle of the sun Yeah, exactly. Do they like duke it out or something? Does it get a little rough in there? Oh, no, they're fucking and suck it until the sun comes up.

That's exactly what's happening. Oh, wow. You didn't know that, dude? No, I guess that's where, uh, wait, so men are from Mars and women are from Venus. And Captain Planet fucks a bunch of other planet gods in the center of the sun. I'll tell you, Captain Planet doesn't care who's coming or what, you know what I mean? Oh, yeah, man, woman, or dog, dude. He's Earth, so he's like the fonsie of the solar system.

He is androgynous. ready to go, that's for sure. Right, he's kind of like a David Bowie-esque superhero. You're totally, that's exactly what it is. It's, it's Ziggy Stardust as a superhero. Sure, yeah. He's not from Mars, though. He's actually from Earth. Yeah, he is Earth or something.

Some horseshit. Was Ziggy Stardusts from Mars, or was it just the spiders? Oh, you know what? Yeah, those spiders just might have been from Mars. I don't know where Ziggy was actually from. So we open on the L.A. riots, right? Like you want any children's cartoon in the 90s to do.

And you know what? You can't even give me one full episode on the LA riots if we're going to do that. Dugie Hauser did it. You remember that one? Vinny had to help out in the ER. Oh, man. Did someone get messed up? A lot of people did.

It was the L.A. riot. And Dugie was patching them up? There's an episode of Dugie Hauser MD that takes place during the L.A. riots and the hospital's going fucking crazy. You know, and Dugie's busy. He's a doctor, you know. But then what happens is, like, some injured person comes in. And Vinnie starts helping out at the hospital. I remember it clear his day.

There's the episode of 902 and O and Brandon's working at the beach club and he finds out his African American boss's a store was burned down and that's why he's working at the beach club. And Brandon's like, man, that's sad. End of storyline. That's it. Then he goes back into his porch and fuck somebody else. As was the fashion at the time. Sure. I will give all those shows and Captain Planet some credit because you don't see.

Any shows, I don't think, doing Ferguson. No, yeah, there's no Ferguson episodes. I don't, no, I don't think so. There's no Ferguson Adventure Time? I don't think so. Okay. Just checking. There's no Ferguson Arrow episode.

Maybe there is. I don't know. I don't think so. I think the closest we come is artists where Black Lives Matter t-shirts, you know, on award shows or talk shows, and then assholes give them shit for it. is what happens. Yeah, like, sports a little, how, just play your damn sport. I don't need to know about your politics. You know what?

Overly sunburned Mike Ditka, why don't you hang it the fuck up? How about that? You constantly sunburned old bastard. Also, you're watching the preamble and like award shows. Shut up. If you just watch the game itself, you don't have to deal with all that stuff. now that stuff they're talking about just fucking die already oh they will so they're like oh man this is terrible and like you know i think probably the la riots were a little politically complex for captain planet because it's not recycling you know what i mean like no exactly and all the what's amazing is the way in which they gloss over it which why they felt the need to address this in the first place i'll never know but it's it's summed up a in one line, it's the character that's

voiced by LeVar Burton and he's just... Quality, I believe his name is. Yes, he's like, I just don't know why they do this to their own neighborhood. And I'm like, shut the fuck up. You have no idea what's happening.

So they're just kind of... The planetaires are casually walking through the L.A. riots. And they're like, maybe we can help them clean up the neighborhood. I'm like, what daft, naive shit is this? Well, this just needs a coat of paint. someone's like here throw this brick through a window

so they come across like this one house and it's on fire and there's a girl trapped inside we know this because the heart guy uses his ring on a barking dog and you know what water girl from you know from the ukraine or wherever well here's the thing that's interesting when the show started it was win by the way sorry yeah she is wind uh the asian girl is water yeah but

to the I don't remember her name the blonde girl in the show when it started the Soviet Union was still around so when they're naming the areas or whatever it was like Soviet Union and then it like collapsed

dissolved and then it changed to Eastern Europe it's so awesome and you know what how could you not put out all of these fires with your magic goddamn ring you have water and wind girl can help you exactly right Right. Instead, they read the mind of a dog to assess the situation.

Again, you know who else can't grasp the L.A. riots? That dog? A dog, yeah. That dog's just like, this house is on fire. The dog looks at the guy reading his mind. Like, don't read my mind. Put out that fire. The dog's like, I'm hungry and I got to take a shit. Oh, it's interesting.

Hart. Yeah, he's hungry. He has to take a shit. That's all I can get from the fucking dog. Here do you go, boy, and then it shits. And all right. And then it's like, oh, what? There's two dead people in that house?

Whoops, shouldn't have wasted time reading this dog's mind. It's too busy talking to this dog. I got distracted talking to this dog. Famous quotes, son of Sam. So Earth uses his power for no reason and moves shit around. I'm like, get Water Girl and Wind Girl in there tag team this shit. L.A. riots are over with. Yeah, you know what? Everybody else needs to be standing on the sideline for this one.

Their two rings are working overtime. Unless Wheeler could suck fire into his ring, I don't know if that works, that shit works both ways. I know. I think it's just going out. Okay. I think it's like a Mario Fireball thing. I don't think he absorbs fire. Okay. So it would have been good to give the character another sort of dynamic. Sure, different dimensions. We're in the 17th season of this show. So let's figure something out. No. So obviously they get them out. And then they're like, ah, you know, again, it's too big for us.

Better put the rings together. You know who can stop the L.A. riots, Captain Planet. Let's summon him so he can stop the years mounting social and civil unrest in this city. Yeah. Come on environmental superhero, solve their problems. That's what should have happened at the end of do the right thing, is when, you know, Danny Aiello is throwing the money at Spike Lee. Yep.

You know, instead of the end of it, you know, the Martin Luther King, King quote and the Malcolm X quote, it's Captain Planet. He's like, hey, guys, shake a hand. Yeah, totally. Until Captain Planet gets a look at the wall and says, hey, why aren't there any planets on that wall? Hey, guys, can't we just talk about this over pizza? Oh, Radio Rahebs dead, huh?

I am a little late. I'm just saying you got pictures of Italian Americans. Maybe you get a picture of the Earth or maybe Mars up there? You got a problem with Pluto, Danny? yellow has a spiky bullet working for you it's green like the earth like grass anyway is he made of glass too by the way like sometimes they draw him and he looks like he's made of like frozen ice he's not but his heart is so fragile he's silver skinned right yeah he's kind of looking like that russian x-man not silver tongue though hmm well well

maybe just a little bit because as we see in this scene he's like he lifts this like truck that's going to blow like up into the sky because it's like going to catch on fire whatever and he makes some stupid one liner but then this truck explodes and shoots Captain America across downtown Captain Planet excuse me yeah this truck explodes and shoots Captain Planet across downtown Los Angeles this is the point where Captain Planet's like oh God I fucked up. I got fucking, I hit by a truck. I got to blew it up by a truck. I got to go. He's really just like, you know what, kids. Captain Planet's got to sit this episode out. You know, doing a lot of back-to-backs on this. Three nights of back-to-backs and I'm just, I am humped right now, man. And then he's just out of this episode.

And then they're like, like the Kwami turns to Wheeler and he's like, say, Wheeler, you've been down. through this whole race riot. Well, no, first, Eurena or whatever, the Russian girl, like, flirted with him because everybody knew that shit was going on.

Oh, yes, absolutely. I knew that as a kid, man. I was like, there's something going on there. There is, and she's like, the weirdest line. She was like,

flirting during a race riot. We were, you're a bad boy. And he's like, dude, shut up right now. This is not, this is not an appropriate

work flirting. And then Kwami is just like, hey, man, that's not the usual, uh, recycling-related flirting that I'm used to having to overhear constantly? What's up with you? And he's like, I got a call from my ma.

I guess my dad's not doing so hot. He's got liver problems. Surprise, surprise. What is this chip on your shoulder? Totally. And I'm like, also, why is it that we're like addressing first the LA riots and then death by cirrhosis on this recycling cartoon? The LA riots is not a good cold open.

You know what I mean? Or a first adventure. No, no, not at all. So he's like, I got to go home and take care of this whole bastard. And they do say the Big Apple, so we're going to New York, even though we don't really know that. Yeah. It says the Big Apple. It looks identical to the L.A. rights.

Yeah, exactly. We're not changing the animation scheme. We're not bothering to put in any New York landmarks so it could even possibly be New York City. But the thing that I didn't remember about this cartoon, and I watched it a lot. I didn't remember all these, like, Ninja Turtle-esque mutants that are floating around in this show. Those are all the villains. There's that guy that's made out of a, like, there's a pig guy. There's that gold something or other.

I had no memory of any of that. I was just like, oh, you know, they stop deforestation or whatever. Yeah, because it's all these, like, pig monsters being like, oh, you know, throwing snowballs on the floor of Congress saying global warming doesn't exist. Hey, kids, they're an abomination in the eyes of the Lord. Captain Planet So yeah We got this weird The rest of the episode's a weird backstory episode

Everything you wanted to know about Wheeler But we're too afraid to ask Totally Wheeler goes to the old neighborhood Yeah And they're just like hey Wheelowski And he's like hey man it's Wheeler Shut the fuck up They actually

He gets jacked immediately And they steal his magic planet ring And he's like Oh man that sucks I'd be like oh fuck Oh yeah Also it's a gang of sexy outlaws.

It is. Yeah. An interracial gang of sexy outlaws. Right. Yeah. It's, they're gorgeous. And so he goes home, and it's the first of three times the same exact thing happens. He opens the door. His mother goes, oh, you're home.

And then his terminally ill father goes, what's this deadbeat doing here? Is that bomb back? Well, la-de-da. And this guy's And the way he's animated is great too because it's just this old man in like a green cardigan and a blanket over his

his legs. Looks like FDR. Yeah. It's FDR who has a fucking axed grides. It's amazing because he's, I mean, I would think if my son got a magic ring and was like helping people all over the world, that's doing pretty well. Totally. I don't, that was

my question about the whole planeteer situation. Sure. So like Wheeler, we know to be little older. He gets into this rave in the next scene with without really getting carded. The kid from South America is a little younger, but I'm like, what

is the Captain Planet recruitment situation? Are the parents signing off on this? Are they allowed to see their families? Is this like a one-time deal? Because his dad's dying? No, because Captain Planet is sick. He's like, all right guys, everybody see your families. Yeah, totally. Now's the chance caps down for the count.

But the way they treat Wheeler, you know, his parents treat Wheeler here, it's just like, I don't think this is like a consensual thing. I think it's like a runaway to join the circus. Oh, right. I think it's a thing where Captain America, I keep saying Captain America. Captain, I think it's a thing where

Captain Planet prays on kids from like bad homes and he's just like, oh, you hate your parents, huh? You want this little toy jewelry I can give you? We'll have all sorts of adventures if you come with me. Oh my God, he's an allegory for Michael Jackson.

I didn't really have a childhood Yeah, Captain Planet was like a child singing sensation And he's just like, I didn't get to be a kid So now I'm gonna hang out with these other kids And we're just gonna recycle shit Yeah, he was an African American child sing sensation Now he's silver skinned with green hair Living with a monkey

I would love it if Captain Planet had like a little chimp companion He did The South American kid had a little monkey Oh, yes, he did. Not appearing on screen that that monkey didn't. Frank Welker didn't get any credit for voice of that monkey this week. But guys, I got a whole new string of Outs to give you. Where's my $10,000?

Frank Welker, I've said it before and I'll say it again. That motherfucker's got shit figured out. It's history's biggest cons. Someone needs to write a book. It's great. So, like, again, this does happen three times. It's like, hey, dad, I'm here. He's like, ah, get out of here, your lousy planetarian bums.

And he's like, okay, talk to you later. He's like, I guess I should look for my magical ring that not only sends out fire, but is actually an integral piece to get the planet's guardian down here. That's one-fifth of the equation, man. Exactly. That's what, I don't think he actually recognizes the state that he's in.

Right, he could, Captain Planet can never come back again. Yeah, exactly. also might be for the best well it might be but think about also like he's he's robbed by you know this this gang of hoodlums right what if one of them like takes it back to the hideout

puts it on and then they're gonna like smoke up or something like that and like they got the bowl whatever like close to their face and then they're like fire it up and like fire just goes in their face just burns that burns that poor woman's face off

and then soron comes to collect oh he's coming to collect all right so he goes to this club and he's like oh it's run by whoever trash is because trash is like spray painted everywhere in the neighborhood he goes into this rave and he's like hey what's go oh no he's looking outside and a dude gets thrown through a window and he's like hey buddy are you all right and the guy's like yeah of course i am it's just a rave idiot and he like drunkenly saunters away that's a reminder hey kids watching this never go to a rave because they'll throw you through a fucking window. So he goes

in and there's all these people doing hilarious 90s cartoon dancing, which is basically like you tuck your elbows and wrists like up to your chest and just kind of shake back and forth. It's such awesome shitty dancing. I love it. And he's like, hey, I'm looking for trash. Where can I find him or

whatever? And some guy's like, over there. He runs into some dude from the old neighborhood. Yeah, important dude named Ronnie who will... Oh, Ronnie man. And so he's just like, hey, what's going on? I'm looking for trash. They stole my ring or some shit. It's really important I get that back before

Sunup. And then here comes Trash, who turns out to be a girl, and she's got the ring like around her neck or whatever. And he's like, give me that back. No, no, no. I stole it from you. He then proceeds to get in a fist fight with a woman. Just in this club, nobody stops doing

the little cartoon dancing. Dude, he's got a killer, though. I mean, if she takes that ring, that's it. Yep. Again, the planet's guardian is off limits. Oh, yeah. So her hat falls off. And then it turns out she's as like ex-girlfriend. Yeah. Which I don't know how a hat was obscuring this, but sure, what the hell?

And her name was originally Trish. Trish, yeah. But she'd rather be, you know, named after something we refer to garbage as. Right. I have trash. She has some self-esteem issues. Sure. She's a teenager or I guess older because she runs a rave.

Yeah, I don't know. So it turns out like trash and her gang or working for this mutant guy who's trying to like take down the big apple this mutant guy I don't know what do you know the villain's name nobody looks like master splinter

he kind of does look like he's a purple half man half rat it's like a purple gonzow and he looks at the he's watching TV with the LA rides like excellent and then he goes he's like oh my planet the big apple he's like that's chicken feed for what I'm going to do for the big apple question Is this mutant gonzo-looking guy

The actual engineer of the L.A. riots? Maybe. Did he convince the jury to let those cops off And the Rodney King finding? Entirely possible, yeah. This guy rigged the whole thing. Yeah, and let me put this out there. I don't know if it's, you know, anything,

but I think this character sketch here might be anti-Semitic. It's a little anti-Semitic. You've got a rat running around like a man who's running things he's pulling the strings and the way his face is drawn i mean it's just it's terrible it's a little uncomfortable nobody wanted it nobody needed it but it happened anyway right because he's like half rat half person yes i don't know i don't know if this guy's got an origin story that we missed on captain planet in the planet's ears or what yeah he's a weird looking dude it made me a little uncomfortable so basically the whole thing is these kids are

working for him. They also get their kicks by jumping off a bridge onto the top of a subway car. Sure. And he's like, hey, that's dangerous. And they're like, yeah, forget it. You know, from the neighborhood no more is this is what we do. We call ourselves garbage and jump on the trains. That's New York. That is New York. That's exactly the year. It's all we do. It's all we do. I mean, I'm from the Bronx, man. I can't even tell you how many people I know that, no growing up, you know, we went to school, funny, good kids that knew a lot of stuff. They're now referred to themselves as garbage and jump on a trains. It's crazy. My buddy

trash, my buddy basura, you know, all my pals. So, whatever, we'll, I mean, also, it's not only an episode, like, of Captain Planet without Captain Planet. The rest of these planet tears are nowhere to be found. I kept expecting him

to call them up and then they come over. You don't even get that, get his little action on the side to come by. Like, hey, my dad, the thing my dad didn't work out. Yeah. But also I'm now trying to foil this crime gang, which was not the responsibility of the planeteers. Not really. But you'd think it's a thing where he dials up one of the other ones and he's like, look, I need the help of my friends right now. Something, anything.

As we learn in the post script when we, you know, learn the lesson of the episode, it's about environment. It's not just, you know, hey, look, just because there's garbage on the streets and you're picking it up, that doesn't make you a planeteer. you've got to be policing people 24-7 yeah you have to be making sure that everyone in the neighborhood has a positive attitude or else the negative vibes will mess with your neighborhood's environment and then force the LA riots to happen yeah I think that's the logic of this cartoon so I you know whatever they they bring down this guy there's a whole action sequence with a chopper this guy's trying to like firebomb them or something my god it's insane like he's got the napalm ready to go one of the guys One of the kids dies off screen, though, which is amazing. Oh, the train jumping. We deal with death. He goes up to trash again. He's like, hey, where's Ronnie?

She's like, he lost his nerve on the seven train and bit it. He's dead now. He's like, wait, what? Like, Captain Planet, can you do anything about that? No. The power is yours. Except for him, because I'm not a necromancer. She's the main person that kind of takes out.

the rat, right? Like, she like, insane, don't do this at home, kids. She drives a motorcycle off like a building to get to his chopper or whatever. It's so insane. Yeah, anyway. It's like some Jackie Chan shit. It all works out.

It's amazing because she's like, you know, they're getting weapons and he's telling them to mess up the neighborhood because again, that's his whole thing is like, if you bring down the property value something, something, something, something, something, something fight club. Yeah, and but Project mayhem.

It takes her forever to realize that this rat person who has other rat minions working for him may be evil. She's like, wait a second, this guy might not be just in it for the laugh. He's not just a cool gang member causing all sorts of mayhem like the rest of us. This rat-faced guy hiding his face in a head scarf might be evil. He wants to just see the world burn. Exactly. So she, like, tears the side off of this helicopter, which is pretty funny, and just rips out all these wires. This thing crashes into New York Harbor.

The little rat guy swims away to see another day with Captain Planet. Yeah. And Wheeler jumps in the water and saves her. There's some, like, intense making out on this dock, which is really weird. Again, I was just like, kids cartoon, hello, he's fucking slipping her the tongue here. It's really intense. Oh, blah, blah, blah, la, la. Oh, I thank God, you're alive.

You're just like, all right, get it if you can, Wheeler, okay. And he's got a type because she's blonde. You're absolutely right. Maybe that's the whole reason why he's attracted to the wind girl. Yeah, exactly. Because she reminds him of Trish. Right. There you go.

Wheeler backstory. Maybe he's going to call her trash when he gets back there. What did you say? Nothing. You're trash. Yeah, under his breath. You're fucking trash now. While he's getting it, yeah.

You're nothing but trash. stop doing this So whatever Let's wrap this up That's why you're union crumble Trash Yeah I mean he goes

You know everybody learns their lesson Trish who used to be a great artist Makes a nice mural They clean up the neighborhood Overnight She starts going by Trish again Instead of trash She's going by Trish

The neighborhood is cleaned up Overnight somehow She's got a community garden happening She's got a community garden going on. They're making a nice mural that she signs Trish to. Which is what's dedicated to the dead kid that bit it on the train. Oh, yeah, you're totally right. And then, yeah, I think the dad beat cirrhosis or liver cancer or whatever was going on.

At least he stumbles down the stairs. Yeah. He goes out to the thing. He's like, oh, you're still here. And he's like, oh, great. My dad's going to verbally emotionally abuse me again in front of my girlfriend. And he's like, you did a great job, son. I'm proud of you.

You know what, Dad, fuck you. How about that? Yeah, Trish is like, oh, I invited him and he's happy to be here. But this is what's weird, right? So think about, like, the sequence of events. Like, the neighborhood has gone to shit. The dad is terrible to his son. The neighborhood gets cleaned up overnight because the Rat King got run out of town or whatever.

He's nice to his son. Therefore, the logic thread is he blames the son for the direction the neighborhood went down. No, no, there's. I think there's another threat of logic here. Uh-huh. My son ran away for years to live with an affluent older gentleman who dresses very flamboyantly. But now his girlfriend is back in the picture and inviting me down to see the garden. Oh, I see what's going on.

Yeah. So he got out of his phase, did he? I think that's the subtext. I think that's what's going on. I mean, if this cartoon is intelligence. enough to responsibly handle the L.A. riots. Yeah. And for the record, I think living with

Captain Planet's fine. They had some great adventures. Whoopi Goldberg's playing Gaia for some of the show, and then they changed the voice. So long as everybody's over 18, I don't care what happens. Fuck it. Whatever, dude. Do whatever. I would like more of it on the show. Was anybody embarrassed watching this? Yeah. Yeah, it was.

I mean, I think Captain Planet is so interesting because it's like, it's clearly like whatever network came up with it was like must have gotten a lot of shit PR the year before I was like look

we're only poisoning kids minds with these mindless robot fight cartoons we need a robot fight cartoon that at least has something positive to say yeah I don't I don't know what I will say about the credits

for this particular episode which is the 10th episode of the fourth season of this show credit is given to TBS as the production company I don't know if that's how it actually started out but it's interesting because in the early

90s, this show, I don't think, was considered political, but if it came out now, it would be such a political cartoon. Oh, yeah. Liberal propaganda. Oh, absolutely. People would be protesting this. You'd have, like, Benghazi reactions. You'd have Benghazi-esque reactions to this.

Captain Planet! Oh, show me the proof of Captain Planet existing. Man, I do want the Captain Planet Benghazi episode. That'd be great. Oh, absolutely. They just go to Libya and solve the whole thing with a little wind and water. Let's turn this false flag upside down. The power is yours.

That's animation damnation. If you want more episode about AD or WHM Prime, check out our website, whmpodcast.com, or check us out on the sideshow network, sideshow network. TV. Until next time, I'm Andrew Jupin. Eric Siska.

Steve said. Take it easy. Thank you.