We Hate Movies - S5: Animation Damnation #17 - Pokémon

Episode Date: June 26, 2015

On this episode of Animation Damnation, Steve's brother Mark drops by and the gang gets completely turned around in the world of Pokémon! Admitting up front to nothing less than complete ignorance to the franchise, the guys raise questions like, what happens when a pokémon loses? Does it die? How come some pokémon can talk and some cannot? Why are those two boys attracted to that ghost? Do pokémon have individual rights? PLUS: The power of Christ compels you, Ghastly!    Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

Now I think I need to make it clear here that I have no animosity against this franchise. But I do also, well, I need to also first just say, I don't know what's going on here I have no clue I think it's incredibly important except for Eric's pure animosity I don't understand this franchise I feel like I was a bit too old for it

etc etc most definitely we're going to get letters for doing this oh we are but people people are going to be up in arms this episode comes from the depths of ignorance we have no idea with this thing is no one grew up with it

nobody really experienced this thing and I'm sure it's great we just decided to pick an episode at random I have a feeling if you watched season one, episode one, you'd understand just as much about this franchise. Yeah, if I got through the first 19 and then got to this episode 20, it would still just mean nothing to me. If I was sitting there during storyboarding,

I would be equally as confused. Welcome to Animation Damn Nation. I'm Andrew Juppin alongside Eric Siska, Steve Sadek, and our special guest, Mark Sadek, who was in the studio to record an episode of the show proper. so he was hanging around and we said hey come on this thing but to plug this now he is from the Vinny Brusco show which you can find on iTunes is that correct yep

good show you'll enjoy it if you if you love we hate movies you'll like the Vinnie Brusco show and if you love Pokemon these guys and the Vinny Brusco show are talking about Pokemon left and right it might as well be a Pokemon fan podcast you guys are poking around over there it's pretty much what we do

Yeah, I've never played a Pokemon video game I mean the closest I've come to playing Pokemon Is when they have When you put your dog in a box No, I was going to say when I played as As Pikachu and or Jigglypuff on that What's that fighting game? Smash Brothers Super Smash Bros.

There are video games of this? Yeah, well that makes me... I thought it was like Beanie babies No, it's like there's a card game That's also... We quickly degenerated to like, wait, what exactly? What is this we're talking about? Do you remember the Simpsons when they're like,

we're watching the Chocobot Mattel hour or whatever? That's what this felt like to me, because at the end, they go like, you got to get every single one, everyone. And here's 50, and you've got to watch every single episode. Yes, and that is why Pokemon is the single greatest merchandise selling engine of all time. Because the whole theme of Pokemon is got to catch them all. You've got to consume these fuckers. and get them in your arsenal.

Unrepentant capitalism. Originally the theme was got to buy them all and they were like, how about we make that catch? Is that legal? As a lawyer? We're trying to trick these kids here, but how bad can we trick?

Like, buy is illegal. Can I say catch? You catch him with a money stick, you see. Originally, Pikachu's tail was in the shape of a dollar side. Not a light of a little. I think it was yen.

Gotta steal your mother's credit card. But yeah, I think it was a video game, again, completely ignorant. None of us had to be a hundred video games. It's okay to like a cartoon. It's okay to like a franchise, whatever. We just don't know anything about it. We have no idea. I think it started out maybe as a card game, then a video.

No, I think it was a video game first, then a card game. I think it was on an old scroll that a wizard rolled out and read to some. Yes, a cave blew open, and it was all about these little pocket monsters. You must purchase all the scrolls, young squire. Don't you want to hear the rest of the story? Yeah, totally. I mean, technically, the episode in question is the Ghost of Maiden's Peak, which originally aired October 2nd, 1998.

In the U.S., I mean, I'm sure it aired in 1980-74, Japan. So we were all, obviously, too old for this franchise. This is like season one, it's the late 90s. I was still, like, trying to wean myself up with the Power Rangers at this point. Yeah, thank you for that, because I was way too into the Power Rangers for how old I was. You were no way. 98, you had to be like 15. Well, no, Power Rangers was like 95.

I was under the Power Rangers. Yeah, Power Rangers started here earlier, but unlike, I mean, there are people that, I mean, because you look at Netflix, which is what we watch this episode on. And this is from something called like Pokemon, Indigo and Blue or whatever. I think it's called the Indigo League. I think that's an after characterization just to sort of. keep everything together. But there's like Pokemon Police Squad. I mean, there's so many shows.

Honestly, if I was a child, I just know myself and how lazy I am, I would have given up. I would have never bought into like duct tails, red squadrons, version 8 in outer space. In outer space. It sounds like Red Squadron version 8 in outer space sounds great. It sounds like maybe there's a little Soviet angle or something. It's like launch pad. He's part of the resistance for some reason. He's definitely lost an eye at this point.

It's like an elseworlds. Uncle Donald's been kidnapped by the Soviets. Oh, he's been turned too. Oh, of course. Yeah. He's a sylon. Oh, my God. They have to fight all the sylon ducks.

What's that robot duck that they had? Gizmo duck. Gizmo duck. Oh, yeah. There's just everybody. The latter days of duck tales, though, everyone's waiting for gizmo duck to make an appearance. Absolutely.

He just, like, robococon. He was just like Robococon. Oh, what was it, Fentonon? Quagmire? Feathers be. Yeah, it was always a kind of duck. Yeah, you had to have some sort of bird pun in there. But what struck me about this show right from Gett was the classic, even though it was 98, 80s theme song.

Oh, man. Big Tachy is shit. Yeah. It's a kind of a Sylvester Stallone doing things, theme song. It's like, da, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do a pokey man and we're friends forever, and they're going to catch a mo. Oh, yeah, dude, if there's anything that gets you hypnotized in just the right way to start buying toys. It's a catchy-ass theme song. And I was sitting there grooving along. Like, I have no idea what's going on, but this is great.

And I want more of it. Just to think you just toss us in. These are actual lyrics. My best friend in a world we must defend. Yeah. That's your best friend? Yeah, that kid sucks. All right.

Let's all just, I think I have a little bit more knowledge just because I'm a little more nerd savvy. And this is very into, on the fringe. Yes. Everybody, if you read enough wizard magazines, you pick shit up. What do you think that the mission of the Pokemon's is? Because I kind of am a bit confused myself. I think I know what it is. It's like you want to become like the ultimate pokey champion.

But what are the animals? But what are the, are the Pokemon's the people or the creatures? No, they're the monsters. They're the monsters. They're the little like popples that go around. I don't think they have. I felt like they didn't have an objective. I felt as though they were basically slaves.

collected and then pitted against each other much as they would have been in Roman times. Yeah, gladiators. They were gladiators, right. Eric, your thoughts? I agree with Mark. That's the thing that I don't understand. And, you know, I'm sure the letters that are piling in

as they're already, half written in Japanese. Is there like a pokey planet where they're all like gently grazing and living amongst each other? I don't know when these humans kidnap them, they fucking fight each other. The Dutch fly in on their space frigates.

Oh, yeah, they were notorious for this. Well, let's start with this. Where does this take place? What is it? I think it's supposed to be Earth. It's just, is it America? I think Asia. In America, if you're watching it in America.

It's Korea. It's Asia. It's Asia. Because, like, my girlfriend, you've seen a bunch of these, it says, like, they'll eat rice balls, and they'll be like, ooh, this is a great sandwich.

And, like, the American version. Which is amazing to me. And I wish that happened in this episode. Because they're just dubbing over so dumb fat American kids Wow, what a great cheeseburger. It's sushi.

It's chopsticks. Yeah, it's eating it with chopsticks. This cheeseburger is fantastic. They're watching Bruce Lee. Look, it's John Wayne. Action star. So what happens in this episode? Good question.

I mean, Ash is the leader. I don't know what the girl's name is. Ash is the little turd with the red hat on. Who sounds exactly like Rudolph from the Rudolph special. He's got that voice. It's like, I'm a tough boy. Oh, like Rudolph the red nose ring? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, that's totally true. That's a girl with the red hair. No, that's the dude with the hat. Oh, I'm sorry. The main Pokemon battle. I don't know what the girl with the red hair is. The other boy who's got a heart on this whole episode is Brock. He was a little bit older.

Yeah, he's a little older. So if you had to ask him. you'd say Ash is what 12 something and Ash is more like 16 you mean Brock yeah Brock is like Brock's old enough to figure it out Oh yeah he figures it out oh yeah

You know the other thing about that though is If you're figuring things out I think you're then also automatically Too old to be on the Pokemon Olympic team Or whatever this is Oh man do you think he's like he's cheating his age Yes If you're out like thinking about

fucking this ghost which is what happens in this episode we're fucking a ghost or trying to then you're too old to be throwing pokey balls out in the arena from ducktails ever eyeballed a girl I was like oh I gotta have that and that's what this was it wasn't he fell in love

he was like wow she is hot oh yeah they're all getting like hypnotized he mentioned bikinis and girls in bikini oh yeah I bet there's a duck tails we gotta go back and look at it but I bet there's a ducktales where there's a duckpane would have crushes they'd fall in love They never wanted to see, they never wanted to see Webegale in a bikini.

I still don't want to see Webegail in a bikini. Now, there is a, speak for yourself. I don't know this is true, but I guarantee you someone has drawn, go on deviant art. Someone has drawn Webigail in a bikini. You guarantee because you've seen it. Guys, here's a tip. Don't go on deviant art. Ever.

At all. Literally ever. So if you want to stay out of jail, don't go to Deviant art. There is the Pokemon. team like these people that do you know like yeah the Pokemon Olympic team so now and then there's an evil version like mad agents from Dr. Claw or so I don't know what their deal is two kids and they're and they're and they're uh sassy cat and they're called like the rocket squad or oh is that why I couldn't understand I was like his name is James I didn't catch the girl's name because they

probably didn't say it and they both have an R on their chest yeah they're the rocket their team rocket so they seem like they're kind of adversaries they are they're bad guys. Because, yeah, they're teams that they do Pokemon battles with everyone. They both try to catch them all. Insnared in a ghostly seduction. Yes. They're going to an island for a festival. There's a ghost.

There's a statue on the edge of the cliff. Right. Very Wuthering Heights. I think that's what they were going for. And, uh, basically this ghost is calling to everybody and it's ensnaring all the men. But for some

reason, Ash doesn't get it. It's just this dude James Rockett. He's hit puberty. Yeah. That's what it is. And Brock is into it. Yeah, Asch is just like, come on, don't you want to throw the balls for practice? And he's like, no, I'm hard right now. I can't do that. I just realized I'm hard over his statue. If, uh, so Pokemon is some type of, of monster slavery. Yeah. Then, then Pikachu. Yeah. He doesn't have to live inside a ball. Yep. He's free. And, uh, he's free. And, his doppelganger slash his opposite would be this catfish looking cat. His name is

Meowth, I believe. Miao. Yes, that's correct. Very clever. Miaoth is also a Pokemon though and he does battle. But the weird thing is... That was a question. Another thing is some Pokemon... Yes, he is. And some Pokemon's can talk and other ones can only say their name. Which is like this weird developmental

problem with the Pokemon's. Too much inbreeding, I guess. It's definitely an inbreeding situation. I think that's what's going on. Meowth can read. He needs to teach Meowth needs to fucking lead the charge and teach these Pokemon's how to fucking read. You know, you know, though, if Meowth gets caught

teaching other Pokemon's how to read and better themselves, he's getting killed. That's classic storytelling where sometimes a character is just so cute that he doesn't even need lines. It's just like bleakaloo. And that's it

and you're fine. Like if Pikachu's voice is like, all right, here's what we've got to do, everybody. I'm going to flank left. You there. Tonight, the role of Pikachu will be played by Paul Servino. What I know about making a restaurant? I don't know. I know I sit down and order the meal.

I'm Pikachu. Hey, hey, hey, don't mess around with that shit. People go away for 10 years for saying hello to somebody on the street. Don't fuck around those poker balls. Suddenly, Pikachu sound a little bit better. I'm here for you. And you treat me like a fucking jerk. And now I got to cut dice.

I got to say goodbye to you. And Pikachu gave me $1,200. That was it. $1,200 for a lifetime of gathering Pokemon. Charmed is putting fucking a gun. gun in her underwear cutting up a bag of Coke in the bathroom.

Oh, man. So we're on this island. Yeah, what is this festival? I haven't disliked. It's a garlic festival? I don't know what they're in town for. Is they, like, smelling corn dogs and stuff? It just seems like

carny food and bearish wheels. A lot of fried Oreos. Exactly. Well, this is... A lot of fried sandwiches. So this is a thing where this thing was a Japanese show now dubbed England. Yes, correct. We're all in agreement.

So the festival probably made perfect sense over there. And here it's like, wait, they're there. Why? Who's doing what? Yeah. Yeah. And I mean, so the weird thing is so like, so everyone falls in love with this woman. Well, it's just the two, like, teenage boys from each team, Brock and other guy.

And they wind up, this old lady tells of some legend of how she's, it's a ghost of some lady and da-da-da. Yeah, they like also recognize her in a painting at some point. Is that right? Yeah, the painting is like part of the town festival. And then everybody, it's time to go to bed for everybody. And they go to Brock, like, hey, Brock, we're going to the Pokemon Center in the middle of town, which I guess it's like a hostel. This is the thing. No, I think so here's the thing. They are like, it's like a sports. League, right? And they're on the road, right? You know, like, you know, they're, they got a couple of away games. And they're at this town, like they're blowing into town. You know, it's kind of like when, like, European soccer teams come here and play at Yankee Stadium. Yeah, yeah. That's what it is, right? They're coming into a town. They're going to do a big Pokemon blowout battle for this town. So they're staying at the facility. Like, you know, they're probably sleeping in the weight room or something like that, you know, in the practice facility. And they're like, yeah, hey, Brock, like, we're going to go, you know, back to the arena and go to sleep. And he's like, I'm just here staring out at the eternal nothing, thinking about love.

And I'm like, this dude's throwing himself off the cliff. Like, you can't leave this guy alone right now. There was an odd scene where it was like nighttime and the moon is sitting above the Japanese sea or where maybe it's supposed to be San Francisco and New York. But it was oddly beautiful. I was like, well, that's actually, that's some good artwork there. Sure. It's a quality, it's a quality program.

Yeah, it is. I mean, this is, we're talking like, it's that, like, nice 90s animation where we're still putting some effort into it. And it looks, I mean, this is, it's compared to a lot of the stuff. I mean, last animation, damnation, we were talking about the pro stars. Yeah. And the animation on that cartoon. I mean, this is like, this is nice we put money into this animation. Here's a question.

Why does Team Rocket sleep an elevator? sleeping bags. Did anybody else get that? Right there. I don't get it from a tree. It's really fucking weird. They're vampires. I feel as that. Well, because also, I mean, the guy, the girl, the cat, and they all have little fucking sleeping bags that are suspended from a tree.

From a noose. I think this is just a cultural difference. It's just one of those things you've got to be Japanese for, like, you'd only understand. Oh, the hanging sleeping bags, of course. If you went through a Japanese forest right now, there'd be a bunch of people sleeping in the tree. Yes, no, I'm sorry, Steve,

Eric, you're thinking of Endor. Oh, wait, okay. People sleeping in trees. Oh, right, yeah. But those are nice tree houses. Yeah, that's true. This is not these cocoons that they're sleeping. Yeah, this is really bizarre.

I think they might be vampires. But, you know, I mean, this team rocket, those people are drawn, like, anime vampire characters. Like, if you've seen, like, anime vampires, what's the big popular one? Vampire 100D. Yeah. those characters are drawn

like Vampire Hunter D. I mean the kids on this like team main character Yeah you know they're drawn like happy go lucky whatever's and these kids are like pale white skin blue fucking hair I mean they could be Pokemon vampires They very well could be that the cat is their master

The cat what is the weird thing where the cat wakes up and sees something Because the cat's also kind of into it Yeah the cat works for Dr. Claw right And that's where the orders are coming. Well, there's a weird thing where one cat talks and one doesn't. It's the same.

It's the old goofy versus Pluto thing. Like, I stand upright and you're a dog for some reason. And Pikachu can't speak. He's a cute little, like, pet. But this guy is like an equal of sorts. Oh, yeah. Like, he's helping plot the schemes and so on. But the major scheme is getting these dudes.

Well, getting them towards this hot-ass ghost. And that's when you realize this episode is more about fucking a ghost than not. And I'm sitting there as an inexperienced Pokemon viewer. I thought they were fighting. Where's the fighting? This is the only episode of ever seen. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

You're an inexperienced poca maniac. And we're not kidding here. This whole episode is basically about these two guys getting such... I don't want to say anything vulgar, but they are, they are gravitating towards this ghost in more ways than one. And this old lady character takes them all into a house and it's like, oh, the only way, and this might be, I don't know what this is. The only way to cure the ghost's curse or to repel the ghost is to use anti-ghost stickers. Oh, right. They're putting the stickers all over the mouths and the faces. In true Pokemon fashion, it comes at a price.

And they have to buy these fucking stickers. Exactly. Oh, yeah. That goes to rot your friend's soul. But for a price, I can fix it for you. She literally said, you don't want to get them for free, the best ones you pay for. Something to that effect. Oh, what a fucking scam.

They'd be worthless if I were free. And you're really sowing the seeds of capitalism. Dude, that's when you're trying to find a parking spot outside Yankee Stadium. And some dudes like, yeah, you could park there for free. But this parking. spot I have over here for $50 that's where you want to put your car

so the ghost comes in and quickly reveals itself to be a Pokemon itself wouldn't you fucking know it I'm ghastly I look like a bullet from Super Mario bro dude it looks like a bullet bill it totally does it's like talk about Charles Nelson Riley it's like ha ha ha ha I'm

a ghastly yeah it's oh don't get too close to me fellas I'm full of hot air it's your class It's a coded gay villain. It's a black circle with two eyes and a big smile. Dude, I think I drew this Pokemon. This is, and I turned back, I was like, this is season one.

They were already out. They're already down to this. A circle with a big face on it. Yeah, make it a Pokemon. But what a personality and a deep soul did this circle, smiley angry face have as will be revealed so this Pokemon's powers

are turning into sexy ghosts to make young boys entranced or Dan Aykroyd in that cabin well he says so there's kind of a crying game thing going on here right because they're in love with this girl yeah who's actually

for all intents of purposes of male could you imagine I don't know what we this thing doesn't have any fucking bits It's a black circle. Well, it's Charles Nolson Riley. Yeah, it does have a male voice. But let's say you were really in love with this woman, right? Or maybe she's dead, whatever.

Yeah, you know, it doesn't matter. But she turns out to be a male Pokemon? Are Pokemon's gender? I don't specify. I don't know. Pikachu does. I don't know what Pikachu's up to. Well, you know what I would have been like, I fell in love with another fucking Pokemon.

It just always happens to me. Every fucking time. I think they're the one. and then they turn out to be a Pokemon. Well, that's the thing. You know what? This guy, this bra character has, like, really been fighting his urges for Pikachu, and he's like, dude. And then he finds, oh, man,

a woman, you know, I'm heterosexual. Finally, I'm not a little bit fucking Pokemon. It takes a mask off and it's like, oh, fuck. It's a surprise. Doesn't he have, like, a fantasy sequence or something where he envisions, like, women in bikinis? There's a brief shot of this. Yes, very quickly.

It is a kid's show. Weird. Yeah, thank you. It is a kid's show and weird. Gassly is a ghost. Is he a dead Pokemon? Yeah. Or is, was always a ghost Pokemon.

No, no, he was tragically cut down. No, born a ghost. Him and his high school sweetheart were driving home. They hit dead man's curve right outside the Pokemon arena. He died on prom night. It's fucking tragic, dude. The fucking, the whole candlelight vigil. that song last kiss was written about ghastly the Pokemon

he was once he was once a thriving ball with a face and now he's a dead ghost of a ball with a face you don't have Pikachu like oh my god it's that guy I remember him of Pokemon legend now he's a ghostymon yeah I have no fucking clue what's happening in this show I mean that it devolves into you know what we all paid for Let's fucking get some Pokemon's out of their poke-poles. Break those fucking eggs

open and start kicking some ass. So nobody's ever seen him before. They're all adorable. And they all get murdered by this ghost, right? So what happens when a Pokemon loses a fight? I think they cut a finger off. Of the person

player who's throwing the balls out? They always does torture these poor little jiggly puffs. They murder his children. Jiggly puff is a little less jiggly now. They cut off three jiggles But so, I mean, I guess the whole thing is like Like if you're playing the Pokemon card game

Like you've got a series of Pokemon cards And you're like This one is a six Yeah, all right, the motherfucker threw down a charmander I guess I'll do this and Yeah The power that it says that this thing has on a card It's all about matching and like water debts gets this to fire

And ghost does this to whatever So we're talking about all sorts of power ups And level ups And you got to tamp your swamps If you want Gassley to work properly I'm talking about Magic the Gathering Well, what's the difference, dude? Not much.

Are you rolling a dice in the Pokemon? Not to my knowledge. Rolling a die around. Catch somebody with a Pikachu up their sleeve. Dude, you'll be executed. They take that shit super seriously. You got to juggle some Beanie babies to get to the next level, right?

So Gassley beats the shit out of everybody because he's like, he's unstoppable. Dude, these fucking little. He's a ball. I saw poltergeist. You can't fight a ghost. There's two little turtle guys that get their asses whooped. I don't even know what you guys are, but you're dead.

Well, wait. Has he been, has he been, what if he collected all their souls? I bet he does. If he gets enough souls, he becomes live again. Wait, is there a devil? Is there like a pokey devil? Oh. I don't think so.

I mean, not that I know of. How many Pokemon are there in the known Pokey universe? A hundred and fifty something. Are you serious? Yes, that's a real thing. If that's the case that I gotta think like 120 something are black balls with faces because this is season one, 19 episodes in, and the most powerful one is a dot. And they're all at least five dollars and you've got to have every single fucking one. You've got to buy every single fucking.

Oh no, look, it's revered Pokemon Toaster. yeah it's just fucking actual appliance they're throwing these balls that out of which adorable little dinosaurs pop out oh yeah and become adorable little warriors that then lose battles they cutely fight each other and then have to go back and so what is a Pokemon's life like during the day when it's in that like that ball you know it's it that's the question that's the ghostbusters question what goes on the entertainment in the containment unit i think it's Those are villains. That's jail. It shouldn't be happy.

I think it's a lot like Oscar the Grouches Garbage Ken. Like you always hear Oscar talking about like, oh, he's got like a ballroom in there and the pool. Oscar puts on a big show for everybody. He literally slubs out so you can't see his head and they just masturbates the rest of that garbage. Wow, it's really fun. I'm swimming in my pool down here. Denzel Washington, what are you doing here? We are old friends.

Doesn't Gassley uses Pokemon's as well, right? So we got Pokemon's beginning Pokemon's? Or was that He rocked? He can make you hallucinate And see other Pokemon

Dude, I must have been tripping. I mean, that's what I got to. That part wasn't real? The rest of it was real. The rest of it was doing acid. So, yeah. That part wasn't. Right, because he wasn't really

the sexy ghosts. Yes. But later we see that there was, there is a sexy ghost. So at the end, Team Rocket pulls that a cross and I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa, Jesus exists in this world. Dude, if anyone is going to get a Pokemon, it's the Lord Jesus Christ. What? We've tried all these wacky things, including dinosaurs, which is a little against what the Lord is likes to talk about.

Send out the most powerful Pokemon of all. Jesus Christ. Jesus Christosaur. And he has a Pokemon. Lezarsauri and other disciples. John the Baptises. The side of it alone is just a golden cross with rays of sunshine behind it. It's a close-up.

It's the only thing on your screen is a fucking crows. You would have thought you were watching Christian public television. Davy and Goliath. Yeah. Literally. I was like, what in the fuck is going on right now? Now, Davy was the kid or the horse? There's no horse.

There's a dog for a kid. You're thinking of Gumby. Right. Right. So wait, though. Also claymation. The dog was Goliath? Yes.

Now, was he a Pokemon? He might have been. Was he Davy's Pokemon? He was helping him out of all sorts of jams. Yeah, he was just a dog that was less enthusiastic about the Lord than Dave was. David was like, why don't I go to church? And he was like, oh, I guess so. That's how I would be.

It was a dog that hadn't yet bought into all that shit. I don't know, Davey. The bears are playing the Phillies. It's a championship game, Davey. As we know, dogs are soulless. Yeah, that's exactly. They're not going to happen.

I don't know, Davey. Earth control can be very helpful from time to time. Can we do this show on animation damnation one day? Oh, David can lie. Absolutely. That's got to have. Stay tuned. Yeah, there's a lot of weird shit

that happened on that cartoon. Yeah, and Claymation totally applies to this program. Oh, for sure. Gumby, I'm looking at you. You want to feel high as a kite, watch Gumby sober. Or apparently fucking Pokemon. I literally thought I was like, what the fuck did I just do? Like, what

did I drink? I accidentally am I drinking absinth right now? I felt higher than usual. Yeah. So they pull it across, it doesn't work, and then they try other vampire methods. He's like, I'm not a vampire. And then the sun comes out. He's like, I'm not a vampire, but I'm allergic to the sun. So you're kind of a vampire.

It's getting hot out here. I'm a creature of the night. Say you later, fellas. But why is it that that's what defeats it? I don't know. So, yeah, they don't overcome any odds. Like these two kids get boners over a fake ghost. And then this Pokemon defeats itself by being out too late into the sunlight.

Yeah, he broke night. And no one does anything. Bar clothes. And then you get a commercial at the end That's like here are some of the Pokemon kids Get ready, write them down I think and I mean you know Prove me wrong kids

But I think that's like The end of every episode is like Here are all the Pokemon that appeared in this episode So you can write down a list And make sure you go to KB toys and buy them all Here's all the Pokemon that failed That you need to own for some reason And it can't defeat

Yeah why would I want to own the losers Is a period So now I feel like I'm high as a kite And the battle is over and all of a sudden this awful villainous dot all of a sudden turns around and it seems that he's actually in cahoots with with what is an actual ghost of this poor girl right that was probably murdered somehow and in some horrible Japanese fashion that will never translate to do English but stories like what that like she was in love with some great warrior who went off on on to see to fight some great battle and she waited on the cliff edge forever. Oh, she committed suicide. She just waited there forever like a dog.

A strong gust. And fucking died there and they made a statue of her fucking grief. So I thought she turned to stone, I think is what it was. Oh, that's even worse. God cursed her for looking upon Babylon. Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior. Your favorite Pokemon.

Can't forget that. so and then like all of a sudden this dot this this this this ghastly comes back on screen in like this like endless love kind of like fade out kind of it's like and he just starts saying

yes my dear I will always protect you and like he's in love with her and like helping her like stay keep people away or like he's a distract and it's like sweet he's a good guy I mean that was an odd twist Because I feel like it's a kid's cartoon

And it's like you can't That's a lot to process Ended on like yeah It's like good versus evil You never saw Skeletor go home And look at pictures of his dead wife Like If He Man only knew

That this is why I'm so upset You know sometimes I think it's about Understanding the source of one's grief Before making judgments Just saying he man Oh Skeletor Jr. I haven't seen him in years. Burned in a fire, he did.

He man's people burned my people. Just because we looked like skeletons. I was a doctor. Oh, man, he had a face. He had a face. He meant, he was a doctor. He was writing off on battle. I'm like, see a letter.

Stonebrain. And he's like, if only you knew, my child suffers from that disorder and that's why I'm so upset there's a problem of making these creatures and these characters too much emotion

like two three dimensional good God so I don't think I could say that I was embarrassed watching this because I just didn't understand it were you embarrassed Uh, yeah. No, I wasn't. I, again, I actually like the character design. I like the animation style to that point. Yeah. I just kind of wish I had a fucking life raft, man. Like, I just wish I had a place to start. Some sort of Nintendo Power-esque guidebook that just explains everything. Wheel me in Pokemon. I'm lost at sea right now. I don't know what the fuck's going on. I just saw a crucifix. We're fighting a black dot. There's a ghost. And I'm mildly. erect. I don't know what any of this means. Just about as confused

as you can get watching a 22 minute cartoon show. Toss me a line. You know, I had no fucking clue what was going on. So yeah, no, I couldn't have been embarrassed because I didn't know what was going. But, you know, I still don't know, and I still don't, I don't really care. I don't really like anime

of any sort, really. So, yeah. I know people now hate my character on the show. The character because I've revealed that, yeah, exactly. Well, there's multiple characters I play. You know, the one that goes to work And puts on that fucking phony face And the one that does the fucking jokey face for you

No one knows. You've got a bunch of Pokemon. Like, Eric at work, Pokemon. Gotta catch all the Erics. And then when we do podcasts, I have to battle with you. You're as complex as Skeletor. Yes.

My family's also dead. I'll be the villain. Fine. Make the skeleton face. man be the villain whatever real obvious grab making me the villain animators oh man was there something you wanted to get to before i was asking if people were embarrassed watching this you looked as though i skipped over something nope you're good i have to go off topic well why did he man get a tan whenever he became he man yeah i don't know what that is he was literally

a different shade because i think it was like the burning of that transformation from prince Adam to He-Man. I would say it's because it makes him better looking, but he's already good looking. Prince Adam is handsome as fuck. He was no dweeb. What second question, why does that fucking lion need to wear a mask?

He's disguising a green and yellow lion. That's animation damnation for this month, gang. If you want more information about We Hate Movies, check out our website WHMpodcast.com or find us at Sideshow Network.

dot tv until next time i'm andrew jupin eric cisco stephen say that and mark say that take it easy