We Hate Movies - S5 Ep173: C.H.U.D. 2: Bud the C.H.U.D.

Episode Date: October 7, 2014

The gang welcomes back comedian and friend Justin J. Case to help kick off the sequel-centric #WHMSpooktacular2014 with the genre-flopping, C.H.U.D. II: Bud the C.H.U.D.! What would happen if E.T. went to high school? How did Brian Robbins keep that mullet in check? And do we compensate the widows of C.H.U.D. soldiers? PLUS: We don't give you the fake C.H.U.D. box set you deserve, but we give you the fake C.H.U.D. box set you need. C.H.U.D. II: Bud the C.H.U.D. stars Brian Robbins, Bill Calvert, Tricia Leigh Fisher, Gerrit Graham and Robert Vaughn; directed by David Irving. And be sure to catch us on Halloween, 10/31, at the Jacob Burns Film Center's After Dark Halloween Marathon doing a live commentary to a cult classic we're very familiar with! Get tickets here and bring your friends! Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

Hey, gang, as we kick off our Halloween spooktacular, we have a Halloween date to tell you about. On Halloween, we will be appearing at the Jacob Burns Film Center as part of the After Dark Halloween Marathon. The whole kick to the marathon is that all the titles are secret. What I can tell you. So there's a catch. There's a who-dunit is it? Is that what's going on? It's a who-done-it, yeah. What I can tell you is that we will be doing a live commentary.

to something very familiar to you. If you are a fan of We Hate Movies, it's familiar to you. That's all we're going to give. Yeah. If you like the show, you like people involved in the show, you like... Do you like going to the movies with other people? Yeah. It's a good cross-section.

Exactly. Do you like Westchester? Some people do. Some people do. Some people don't. Some people don't, but that's fine. Well, it's at least nice to visit. And why not?

Halloween. Oh, yeah, it's beautiful up there. A nice snap in the air from autumn? Listen, being up there on Halloween night, I mean, that's, it's beautiful. It's nothing better, man. It's Halloween town. It really is. So the deal is if you come to this marathon, you get eight movies. What? Eight, yes, eight movies. Starts at 10 p.m. on You can stay for all of them. You can stay for as many as you want. Does not matter.

And the commentary is the one right after the 10 o'clock movie, right? Yeah, exactly. So there's going to be, this is some other stuff I can say about the movies that will be appearing at this marathon. Hint it, man. So two of them are preview screenings. So you're going to see stuff before anyone else can see it.

Not released yet. Not for general audiences yet, just the specials. Yeah, not released yet, not on VOD, not on DVD. They are two highly acclaimed festival favorites that are not released to the general public yet. So you get two of those. You get two gorgeous

restorations of classic films. One of which is a 3D film. I can say that. Two of them are some contemporary-ish films that are really, really cool. And then the one that we're doing. So that's eight movies. Eight movies. It's an all-night thing. It's going to be really fantastic. 10 p.m. on Friday, October 31st, at the Jacob Burns Film Center. We go on at around 1145. You don't want to miss a title in this marathon. Visit burnsfilmcenter.org for tickets. I'm Andrew Jupin. Stephen Sadek.

Eric, Cisca, and Justin Case. And we hate movies. We all go a little mad sometimes. You know, it's Halloween. I guess everyone's the title of one good scare. Sometimes. That is better. Zombies have entered the building.

They're at the door. They're coming in. It is time to keep your appointment with the Wicamand. They're coming to get you, Barbara. I'm sick for fucks he's seen one too many movies. Now, Sid, don't you blame the movies. Movies don't create psychos. Movies make psychos for creative.

What's the fucking woman in the bad after? There's an excellent day for an accident. Hello everyone. Welcome to the program. Happy Halloween season. It's finally here. It's finally here. The Spooktacular 2014. And I should say up front, this Spooktacular this year, it's all sequels. We didn't come up with a nice little cutesy name. I sort of tried to say sequeltacular one time and Steve made fun of me. The Spookwill? Yeah, I don't know. Spooktacular 2014 and where we only do sequels. It's a little wordy, but it gets the point. going to cross. You're not going to get that

in a t-shirt. It's certainly accurate. And speaking of that charming voice, we're pleased to welcome our good buddy, Justin J.K.'s back to the program. Hey, it's great to be back in the office. Yeah, I mean, he's usually our disaster expert, but he's also kind of subvertly our zombie

expert. Yeah, those are hand in hand, right? Yeah, zombie disaster, disaster, zombie. He also did dead heat way back when before anyone else was born. Do you want to know about slow-moving antagonists. And speaking of disasters, today's

film is Chud 2. Bud the Chud from 1989, directed by David Irving. This has been one of the bigger state tunes in show history, I feel. Oh, yeah. This is a legendary one. This is, I was saying to you earlier today, this is the first movie I ever hate

watched. I knew going into it that was going to be bad. Let's go through your first experience. When did, when did When did Chud 2 first do this to you? I have an uncle who's a big fan of bad movies. And when I was like 12 or 13, we went to the video store. And he was like, I want to rent this movie. I think you'll love it.

It's called Chud. It's totally crazy. You know, it's New York City. There's zombies sort of monsters. It's going to be great. And we go to the video store. All they have is Chud 2. He's not aware to the existence of Chud 2.

So we rent it. And from, like, frame seven, you're just like, yeah, this is fucking garbage. Who took you to pick up the movie? An uncle of mine. Oh, that ride home is not a happy one. Because he's going, he has expectations. If he likes the first one, he's expecting a certain movie. And yeah.

And he's ready to tell me all about it the first time he ever saw it, you know. Can you guys think this is, I have so many questions about, I am not for lack of notes this time around. Has there ever been, maybe this is more common than I realize, a sequel? that is a completely different genre than the original? Because this movie has more in common with Weekend and Bernies than it does with the first Chud movie, right? Yeah, that's a good point because it's definitely totally different. And there's a bunch of movies where the sequel is a drop-off and changes tone,

but never a genre. And, like, yeah, this is totally a different genre. Even Troll and Troll 2, Troll 2 is not a comedy. Troll 2 thinks it's a horror movie, you know what I mean? Or, I mean, I'm trying to think of other, like, complete left-turned sequels. There's got to be a couple, but I'm drawing a blank. But the point is, like, this, the first Chud, and if you haven't seen Chud, seek out Chud. And by the way, as far as shameless plugging goes.

Oh, let's do it. Pick up our Chudmintry, available in Amazon, Google Play, the Apple Store. And then you can hear us making fun of Chud, which is something I feel like what my uncle wanted to do with me. Back in, like, 1997. we just never got to do it. So that's what we did. Syncable commentary track, Chudmintry. You know what we should do, guys?

We should all get our uncles, like, just get a couple of uncles in here, and we do, like, an all-uncle commentary. Round up a couple of uncles. I just see what happens. You got a couple uncles. I got a couple uncles, yeah. Well, Steve, you don't count. I don't care.

You got to get an uncle of yours. Yeah. Well, you need a ringer, Andrew. Well, no. We could all sit with our respective uncles. We'll need a lot of microphones, a couple soundboards. It'll be a bunch of work, but it might be worth something. It might be worth something.

Not a lot, but something. Write in if you want Uncle Terry. Yeah, go ahead. Chud stands for a cannibalistic humanoid underground dweller. Nailed it, yes. Nailed it? Okay. Two of those letters in this acronym, not only does the tone change, you lose two

two letters in the acronym really they're just chuts in this it's just a bunch of they're this cannibalistic humanoids i would aka zombies i would i would say that none of those are accurate except for humanoid yeah because they don't eat the people you just turn them around you don't see what happens to them because they that thing goes out a dog the same way that it goes at a human yes that means there's no preference on okay they're carnivorous maybe yeah carnivorous that that would be perhaps accurate me never undead people we got a bunch of h's walking around not even to see well i mean we gotta we gotta ask ourselves when does one become

you get permanently labeled a cannibal just because you get a like a taste of human flesh you just you bite someone's neck as a chud and you get like a little chunk of human flesh and therefore you're just forever known as a cannibal because it's like something you can't really walk back from you can't dial it back but that's kind of unfair right what if someone not even speaking you know chudley but like what if right what if you as a person like Eric, you go to a restaurant and you don't happen to notice that the restaurant has a poor

health department rating so you go in anyway, you eat this food. It turns out you ate a person. Welcome to my restaurant! Johnny Depp's there serving your pies. That sounds like something I do. But you're not a cannibal. No, but you're forever a cannibal.

You are because, and this has happened a lot. Not too often. I read a story about somewhere in the world like yep that guy fed your people it happens when do you become a windigo like when's when does that you cross the table on that guy

not often well that's like I think we need to look up websters like just define what that is well no it's when you eat you eat somebody and then you become a monster afterwards which is kind of that's more in the line of the of chud one

but it's also that Jeffrey Jones movie with Guy Pearce ravenous ravenous that's a guy Pierce will be with Jeffrey Jones, thank God. Yeah, but I couldn't think of Guy Pearce, but Jeffrey Jones popped right out at me, so I said Jeffrey Jones first.

That sounds like a nightmare. Jeffrey Jones just popping right out at you. Boo. He would have been great in the hurt locker. And just to round it out, they never, he never dwells anywhere. He never, he never fucking sits down for that matter.

He's always on the move. Once you're on that list, you can't be dwelling anywhere. No, because you have to keep telling people where your dwelling so it's best to live in an RV because people in parking lots leave pretty quickly. So this movie's kind of a scam, right? Like that's

in almost every sense of the word. But what's amazing is, I mean, yes, it's a scam. But what's amazing is it's such a foolhardy scam because normally when you see like a sequel to something, it's like a big successful movie and it's like shitty directed DVD sequel.

Yeah. How successful was Chud that it's just like, hey, there's a chud too well i'll go back for seconds you know that's probably why it was cheap to buy the name or something and then like oh let me rewrite my script to put it a bunch of chud words and then let's make the movie i want to make and we'll just call chud i think that they had they i think that they purchased a zombie film yeah had no angle for it and they had the chud the rights to the chud franchise on hand and just they even yeah i think they just had a zombie script lying around. But just make a zombie

movie, though. Like, you're then paying money on top of that to license the word chud. Which is, it's a waste of money. It's probably because, like, the zombie's name was Bud originally. And somebody's just walking around, like, Bud the Chud. Bud the Chud.

Just cross that shit out. This brings up another good point, and I don't know if this is, if I've uncovered anything or if I'm just overthinking it. But they say, when they call them Bud the Chud, they're like, oh, Bud the Chud, it's just a little fake, a little nickname we gave him around

the office. That's not his nickname, that's his real name. The man's name is Bud, something or other. It's just Bud. And here's a fact of Chud. So how could his nickname be Bud the Chud if his name is But Justin the Human? Yeah. I got that nickname I gave him, Justin the Human. E.T. 2.

E.T. Tim the Alien. I would watch that movie, E.T.2, Tim the alien. It's E.T. He has to pose as like a high school kid. See, they missed the mark. Like, if they went back and Elliot was like a senior in high school, and E.T. helps him get a date for the prom somehow.

Oh, right. Well, like a Jump Street situation where they have to solve something. It's a grown man and E.T. pretending to be high school students. Oh, man, I heard that kid had cancer. Leave him alone. Hey, I'm the life of the party. Like, he passes off as a kid that just had cancer.

Because then you could definitely have a scene where E.T.'s at a party, and he's smoking weed. Which would be fantastic. He's not going to know what that beer's going to do to him, but he's going to find out pretty quick. Doesn't he drink beer in the first movie? Maybe he has a beer. I don't remember. I kind of like this alternate universe where there's a bunch of E.T.

sequels. Maybe like the third one's about his wedding day somehow. Wait, wait, E.T. is getting married? E.T. is now getting married. He met somebody in college. I sure hope I don't get left at the altar, Elliot. Man, and then E.T. does get left at the altar, and it's heartbreaking. Oh, my God.

It's going to be heartbreaking. And then he flies that, that goddamn bicycle off a cliff for good. I'm going to end it all, Elliot. A telmo and the Wii situation. Like, he uses alien powers just to get enough fucking air, you know? And then he just lets himself drop. I'm nothing without her, Elliot. I'm just a piece of shit.

Come on, E.T. relax. No, I'm garbage. E.T., you're just in high school, man. You're going to go to college next semester. It's going to be great. You're going to forget all about her. A fucking loser, man. I'm just a fucking loser about it.

He does this every time he smokes weed. You know what? You should just do it. I mean, is he going to do this all the time? Every time we do this? I say, put up or shut up, Tim, the alien. Cancer or no cancer? You get mixed in with Tony Hawk somehow.

Oh, Tony Hawk's making a cameo. Maybe like a, yeah, skateboard. E.T on a skateboard. E.T. on a skateboard. Tim and Tony. Mm-hmm. Tim and Tony two. Tim Tony three.

That would have been a billion dollars. One billion dollar franchise. Yeah. I think you can still make this movie. Just making a period piece in like 1989. Oh, yeah. I think this is a good idea. E.T.2, Tim, the Alien.

Then you can have a sequel where they go back in time, like turtles in time. And they're like in feudal Japan. and you know he's going to get up to some shenanigans there i can see him in that armor i actually really could right riding a horse yeah i don't know what it is but it just kind of makes sense oh yeah it works that tisha reminds me of laura oh god damn it tim we traveled back in time 400 years still bitching about it who's not he's looking up for coke and fetal japan probably yeah he's got issues maybe that's kind of china ish That's ignorance.

What we call China is. So Chud, too. It starts out with just Bud the Chud and then almost like MS paint style, it gets eaten. The title itself. Like a Reese's peanut butter commercial. Has, this is my first note, has ever the antagonist of a film eaten the name of the film? I'm sure one of those Jaws sequels, he's got to be eaten something. I got a lot of questions for you guys this time around.

My question, and there's two kinds of sound, there's two kinds of sound effects in this world. Sound effects you make where you believe in a project and you're like, okay, you know, let me get some aluminum foil and a fucking hammer and some fish and I'm going to make it sound like something's happening. What sound are you trying to make with those ideas? Let's go back. It's like chopped with foliarters. That's, oh man, it's a great idea. You got a fish, a hammer, and a thing of fucking aluminum foil. You have 30 seconds to figure out a sound effect.

I would say cutting a fish, probably. Cutting a fish and wrapping it for dinner. Or it's a fish getting hit by lightning that makes it explode. It's very specific. That ain't bad. Listen, the judges on audio chopped

appreciate some out there creativity. And there are sound effects you buy. You just fucking ask for $10 for a dollar. And that's what this bite is, which they use the entire movie. It's the same bite sound, whether it's a human, whether it's a fucking dog. It's just that same like apple biting sound. Yeah, I really just crunching into something. It's too crisp of a bite for cannibals.

Absolutely. Okay, it's not making it. You need it like gushier, like, no, that's not good. You want some flesh, like it's ripping sinew. Yeah, exactly. Some tearing. You've noticed no matter where, when. When it's used, in the title sequence included, they didn't know where to put it in the mix.

Like, it's just as loud as if he's eating the dog in a bush or if it's right in front of you. It's the same level every single time. Yeah, it's so lazy. It's so lazy. So that title gets eaten. And then we're introduced to Robert Vaughn, who I'm not going to say that Robert Vaughn's slumming it in this movie. Robert Vaughn is appropriately cast in this movie. Yeah, he's just on par.

and he's this like five-star general who's heading up the chud program and they're having an emergency meeting about chuds and how listen we're we're terminating the chud program you know they it's kind of a reference to the first movie but not really like in the end of that first one you are made aware that like the government's in on the whole pollution thing or whatever's going on but that's it that's the only connection to that there's no radiation in this version either and obviously they aren't really Chuds, but so I guess the government was trying to make a zombie army where I think it would be more efficient just to introduce Chudism to your enemy population instead of trying to train it for... And then go in and firebomb them.

Maybe that's what they're doing, I don't know. I think the one twist that they put in the first Chud movie that I thought was pretty great and I just I'm sure it's been done many times but there's so many movies about super soldiers that I hate. Every third movie is about

creating a super soldier but this one thing linking it and the first one is silly enough but linking that to zombieifying something right was something pretty somebody has a line that first one it says like what just imagine war what war would be is that every time the war the battle is over you can go back and just turn your soldiers back on well that's i mean yeah and that's i thought that wasn't that wasn't too bad yeah and that's what he's talking about in this right he's like i can go and if someone dies in battle I can reanimate them I guess but it's like if you're getting soldiers that are like blown up

and whatever like yeah they have no arms left or you know what flat yeah you know what super soldier movie I want to see is that time when Stalin tried to breed men and apes to make an ape arm half ape army Donkey Kong country

oh yes that's a weird that's donkey con country too coal in the red army just putting a red baseball cap on a gorilla doesn't mean it's a half man half gorilla, Steve. But seriously, look, but he's a communist. Doggag's got a red tie

he's like the general. Diddy's got the hat? There are several military figures in those games and it's really weird. You're totally right. I think that's what it's in reference to. There's something in there. See also the episode of Blame it on Outer Space where you talk about that. Yes.

It's under Soviet Humane Z in that case. Oh, the Soviet Human Z? Delicious. I love it. So, but aren't there, in the first movie, there's a couple levels of Chud, right?

Like, first you get it, you get a little sick, right? And then you kind of turn into what Garrett Graham is in this movie for like two seconds. And then you're a monster with light bulbs as eyes. Yeah, so you turn into a like Ninja Turtle monster disaster, like Toxy kind of a thing. They do look like the Toxic Avenger. Yeah.

And, but they never get there in this because they just forget about that part in the movie, which that's the coolest part of Chud is how cool the Chud's look, right? Yeah. Is it, and then just, we're doing zombies. Well, the coolest part of Chud is Captain Bosch from the NYPD in that mustache. That guy's great. Second greatest part of Chud

is the Chuds. Third greatest part, John Goodman in his first movie role ever. Not the coolest part is Daniel Stern sweating throughout that whole movie. He needed a fan. He's just like, he's acting on his heels in that movie. He is just running around.

And even like what it's not supposed to, I was like, the first time you see him, I'm like, oh, he's working. It's a soup kitchen, soup's hot. Then, like, then he would put, this is one thing that I think everybody has that thing. Then he would put, like, a dress shirt over him, over his ratty t-shirt when he was sweaty. You're just like, oh, that's actually the grossest part of the first Chud movie. I'm thinking about being really sweaty and wearing a dress shirt. Never mind the Chuds or John Hurd having a sex scene.

It's Daniel Stern's Pitstains in that movie. They're pretty terrified. So the whole thing is we're shutting down the Chud program. Apparently they've eradicated all the chuds from the New York City sewers and Bud the Chud, play by Garrett Graham is the last remaining Chud of the Chud program. He's being kept at this hospital and he

wakes up and starts killing people pretty much right away. A hospital, he's being kept in a hospital near an open door on a hill. That's correct. So this is another one. Guys, has there ever been a movie where a pelvis was the inciting incident? A pelvis? Because all that guy, all the guy did, the main

character with the Osteen? The Steve Gutenberg knock off. Oh, he does. He just knock the stretcher slightly. And then that starts the whole movie. Oh, you're totally right actually. Yeah, just a quick bump to a gurney. And all of a sudden we have Judd 2.

That's it. I know what I happen. There's one thing that I can give this movie some actual real credit for, like, legitimate credit. And it's surprising that it's in this movie. There is like, speaking, we were talking about P.T. Anderson off the air, so I can go, of P.T. Anderson, there's this long

tracking shot. At the beginning of this movie, the first thing you see is this doctor like getting a chart from a nurse and he's walking. And we just follow this guy down this hallway, down this hallway, down this hallway. He gets on an elevator and it's a low budget movie so it's a real elevator. We get

on the elevator with him. He goes down a couple of floors, gets off the elevator. He keeps walking and it's just one take. It's a three to a half minute long shot. I actually looked at the timing of it. It's in, like, Scorsese. Yeah, it's pretty cool that it's in this really dumb horror comedy. But it doesn't do, like, it's not a character.

He's not going anywhere important. You never see this guy again. He's murdered in 45 seconds. It does nothing to service the excitement of the film. I would love it if Chud 2 just had a bunch of long takes strewn throughout the entire thing. And just these long tracking shots that just go and go and go. Robert Altman's Chud 2. I would love it.

20 people are talking at once. someone in the background singing an old country song nobody remembers it would be awesome but instead we're stuck with garrick graham who is reinvigorated comes to life whatever they put him down again and they send him to suburbia like basically they shut it down and robert fawn's like well keep him on ice in case the chud program comes back he's like i'm going to get some funding

i guess he's going to do some like campaigning he's talking to north korea i guarantee you that's what he's going to do you think he's going to sell out his own nation absolutely So he can go down in history He's the guy who invented the undead army I guess that the idea was that This current whatever establishment Fictitious President

Wasn't in favor of this technology But he was just going to wait out the regime And maybe Oh come Come November the Chud program might live again I feel like when the government says no to Chud They say no like once And then you just give up

It's like if you're the president And someone approaches you with the idea for the chud program you're like i'm the president i should only have to decline the chud program's existence one time like don't make me tell you twice you can't have a chud program don't come up to me with another with more information proving how you know i've seen all the statistics i'm willing to look at from you i think when you bring it up

it's the end of your career immediately like you know we've got these cannibalistic okay yeah what's more terrifying for you as like the government whatever what's more terrifying to bring before committee? A chud program? Or being that dude from time cop who has to tell people that time travel exists?

Because both are just as zany sounding. I think chud is worse. Really? It's like dirty, you know? At least time travel's like, oh, what? Really? But if you tell people about the chud program, they're just like, you're doing that. I think the chud program, because the origins of the chud

program is that we had a bunch of toxic waste and put them in the most heavily populated city. It seems like the existence of a chud. It starts with a big mistake. Yeah, it's a flub. It's a chud flub. It's a big jud flub. Well, you know, just lemons and lemonade and all that, right?

That's exactly what they're going for, I guess. Yeah. Wow, that is, you know, sometimes you just go too far, government. Get out of my backyard. They freeze Garrett Graham. They put him in suburbia. We go into a high school classroom with Brian Rob. Brian Robbins from head of the class.

He's one of the creators of the show All That. If anybody remembers that program on Nickelodeon, he's a super successful children's entertainment producer. He's done a lot of Eddie Murphy movies. Yeah. This guy sounds sick. He's twisted, man. First Chud 2, then Norbitt.

Or maybe it was... I don't remember which Eddie Murphy movie is a part of, but there's a couple. Point is the dude's like a millionaire now. But he got to start. as an actor doing, like, Head of the Class, head of the class was a kind of big TV show, not, like, big enough.

I remember watching it as a kid, yeah, like, big enough. And so this movie came out while he was like, Brian Robbins of Head of the Class, and he was like the funny guy on that show. He's the funny guy in this movie, too, I guess. But most of it's people to help. He's the cut up. I'll give you that.

I like that there is a distinction between a cut up and a funny man. I think so. Steve, you're a cut-up. Steve's a cut-up. He's not a funny man. No, no, no, no. Just a regular old cut-up.

What, you think you're better than me? Settle down, cut-up. So him and his nerdy friend get detention, and I guess they get sentenced to clean up frog shit or what happened? They're like organizing the science lab. And there's a weird thing where this science teacher is like, good news, everybody. Next week, we get to look at a real cadaver thanks to this funeral home.

And I'm like, wait. What? That doesn't happen. I just broke the law. And it's supposed to be like a small town. It's called like Winter Haven or some shit, like in California, which is kind of funny. But that, it's a small town. You took it from a funeral home. That could be a student of yours like grandfather or something.

Imagine like peeling back the blanket and it's just like, Grandpa! Some kid just starts crying. Listen, teacher, you're fired. Crying, peaking. fainting all the same time I think that this teacher's done with permission slips like the last couple of times he got

he got fucked on and he was like if these kids are going to learn something I'm going to go get a body what about the family of the dead body that's being desecrated I'm just completely done with it I can see if the permission slips but somebody somebody hypothetically

lost the loved one then gave it to a funeral home and then one funeral home director and his friend a teacher were like hey do you want to just show this dead body See, that's the thing, is there's a whole other movie happening. A much better movie. Yes, a better movie.

I want to watch funeral home hijinks. I really do. Like, he calls the professor, and he's like, yeah, I just got one in. It's, you know, John Blumenfield. And the teacher's like, you can't give me a Jew. They're going to bury him before sundown. And so it's like the antics that are involved in, like, you know, corpse thievery. And then they also sell to another guy that puts it in your food.

and that's how the chud program starts up all over again it's a backdoor chud tv pilot it's a circle of chud and like just said basically these assholes knock a dead body out of a humongous hill it's a high school on a hill it's whatever body this fucking weirdo teacher stole and that's the one that they're going to show yeah gets knocked out and it's just gone and they're like uh and instead of like going to the police. And again, like, that's somebody's grandfather that's now missing or whatever. They're like, oh, let's just go to the morgue and get another one. But they don't go to the morgue. They go to their town's branch of the CDC, which is amazing. This little quiet California town has a CDC like huge building in it. And they steal like the Garrett Graham body that's

in like this tube that's clearly like if you need a dead body, don't take that one. Yeah, exactly. It's like this is very contaminated. But also like how do, the idea of this is just so stupid because you bring back a new corpse

what the professor's not going to notice. This guy was leering at that body. Oh yeah. He was weighing his options as they say. He probably picked that one out special. Yeah. Oh, you're saying I get the pick of the litter? I love

being a teacher. It's got to be shut-ins that we're talking about, right? Because it can't be like somebody's mom or whatever. Or a drifter? Yeah, like... Give me a good John Doe. Suicide by pill, possibly.

This town seems too nice to have a large homeless population. That's true. It's a very quaint piece of Americana. It could be a drifter. This could be what happened to renegade. He fucked with the wrong town? I'm like, yeah, you know, he got, he fell in line with the wrong biker gang. He motorcycled into the wrong town, went into the wrong town's wrong diner, and they were like, listen, Renegade, you need to be in here with a shirt on.

That leather vest does not count as a shirt. He refused to do it, and they killed him. It was the Vigo Mortensen diner from history of violence, and he murdered him. I was going another way is I would love a movie of, like a series of movies of First Bloods, where it's just. Brian Dennyhy and David Caruso killing drifters? Yeah, and just checking him in as John Doe's burning their IDs. Nobody saw him. Nobody saw nothing. We asked him to leave this town. He didn't, so we got to kill him.

Thinks he thinks he's so great because he's a veteran. Well, if you're so great, why are you a homeless veteran? Yeah. Let me ask you that. And then you spit out. I want to hear nothing but the broken systems. That's a four movie series, right? Rambo?

No, no, the other side of Rambo. Rambo is literally a four movie series so far. But I think you'd get four movies the other way, too. Caruso, just killing people? Caruso and Dennyi. Oh, Caruso and Denny. Oh, yeah. Most definitely.

I'd watch all of them. You could have different seasons of the year for each one. You could do like a hard rain. Like, oh, it's flooding today, but we're still killing drifters. Well, yeah, I mean, like the first one, you got one, you got Rambo. The second one, maybe you get like two or three drifters. You know what I mean. And you could, a school bus full of drifters in the third one?

Oh, yeah, you got to up the hand to each one. What is the circumstance in where a bus is filled with drifters? Urban relocation program. Yeah, we just need breathing rooms. You're totally right. That's what Julian did. And it happens in Volcano. They put a bunch of drifters on a bus in Volcano.

Get them the hell out of here. So now we've got our body. But the problem is the science lab is closed. So the next best thing, take this dead body back to your parents' house. Nope, never in a million years. No way, no way. And the whole thing is they're like, oh, well, we'll take him to our girlfriend's house. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

The nerd's like, this is on you, Brian Robbins. Like, you're taking this dude back to your house and he's going to sit there until the science lab opens in the morning. And they're just dragging this dead weights. It's really weaken at Bernie's at this point. And I want to know who is tucking in Bud's t-shirt. Because he's always got this tucked-in t-shirt, you know? And you're hauling him, you're hauling dead weight across town. And you're retucking that shirt, man.

The first thing that happens is that shirt's going to get untucked. Anytime you grab, my shirt gets untucked if I get a hug from someone, right? Like, it comes, yeah, definitely, hauling bodies. Yeah. We like to pretend that dead bodies aren't stored naked, like every which way but loose. That's a good point. For good reason. Like, you know, clothes that are on a corpse, it's going to stink.

Well, I don't know. Some people have dig, I guess, I guess, you know, just time up in a sheet. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's perfectly fine. I don't know why leaving him in a car overnight in front of, I don't know. What's the difference at that point? Bringing it into that house, it was just, I think, an excuse to get a little bit of carrying a dead corpse up the stairs, humor. That's all.

it's just trying to make some jokes because it's not like they're like, oh, well, Steve, we have to go to your house because your dad's got that big walk-in freezer we can put them in. It's really just Steve, we're not leaving this body in my car. It's going in your house for comedic purposes. Because

ideally, you just leave it in the backseat. Maybe it smells a little bit, but what are you going to do about that? And it's like, just because like now the parents can act clueless about everything that's happening and isn't that funny? Because there's like doors coming down in their

house. Yeah. They don't notice this at all. They're totally just glued to the boob tube, man. They're watching like Discovery Channel or something. It's the mom from Charles in Charge, the second era. Right. And this guy who's like kind of a poor man's

Charles Groden, which is like, I don't know, that leads to it on Mark Graves somewhere, right? He did. Yeah, speaking of drifters. You're the poor man's Charles Groden? Yeah. He he um he like several actors from this movie is a voice actor uh and he did the voice of the dad on rugrats oh wow yeah so that's something well and speaking of voice actors right but the chud himself is also garrick graham from the critic yeah playing franklin sherman oh god that's great uh acted in philadelphia

experiment too a previous episode oh right yeah he played a nazi and chopping mall for a second Oh, who's in shopping mall? He's like one of the scientists that gets killed in the beginning. Oh, I think you're right. They paid top dollar for that cameo. For a second, I thought he was the robot. He's inside the robot. Do you think when they were making Bud the Judd,

they were just like, Garrett Graham, I mean, the guy from shopping mall, you think we can afford it? I think the question every day was, do you think we could afford it? Like, oh, this scene's running long. Do you think we can afford it? Turning the lights on,

do you think we can afford it? A lot of these scenes are lit by flashlights. Or, and then you'd be an exclamation point after that. Like, craft service, do you think we're going to afford that? We're all eating bologna sandwiches. That's not a proper craft service offering, man. No, it's not. Nobody on set's happening about bologna sandwiches.

And of course, it's the 80s, so there's a yappy dog that everybody hates in it. Like a yappy white poodle, by the way. See the film The Willies. That's that movie where there's like a white poodle That gets put in a microwave and blows up Donkey Lips is in that movie White Poodles White Poodles and vegetarians

You just listed everything I don't want to see Dogs explode in microwaves And Donkey Lips A.k.a. Michael Bauer Yeah, I know his name Yeah You hang out on his Mispace Yeah

Where he posts his rap tracks that he makes Oh, baby Pretty sweet. It is pretty sweet. So the whole thing is we get Bud the Chud into the bathroom. Well, because for some reason, like trying to get him down to the basement, which makes the most sense, they make an artificial thing like, oh, the dog is barking. Better bring them upstairs. No, don't do that.

Never do that. That's what the basement's for is dead bodies. Like, one, you're not going to leave it in the communal bathroom in the house. So it's the only place this can end up is this kid's bedroom. yeah so you're just sleeping with a corpse in your room Steve whatever his name is in this movie like are you really able to do that I couldn't sleep with a corpse in my room no I'd prefer not to I'd rather get the detention that he would probably get that's the whole thing right

this whole thing happened one detention for you for throwing that body into the street he just doesn't want to get into more trouble at school well it's when you when you bring up a dead body into your house or you have a dead body in your house you have the option he says with authority You've got two options. You've got, you're either gasey or you're Dommer. Downstairs, you're Gacy. You're just dumping them in the crawl space.

Upstairs in the bedroom, you're getting a little Dahmer on me. Domer in the sheets. You're gasey in the streets and a domber in the sheets. Yes. That's the motto. Yes. That's the new like I before E except after C.

Like if you want to figure out, gang, listeners at home, which serial killer you are. Casey in the streets Dahmer in the sheets I also like using him just to refer to a basement So it's like We're out of root bear There's more in the Dahmer

I put more I put it to the Dahmer Yeah he had a bunch of zombie He put a lot of shit in his fridge man All sorts of parts Exactly Mostly penises and heads Because if you're shacking up with a fucking corpse man You're Dahmer in it

You put it downstairs You close the door and you pretend it's not there You're gaseying it And then you go upstairs And put a bunch of weird clown makeup on. Yeah, sure. Definitely gaseeing the situation.

I would rather see this than the Willys. Oh, Sean Astin's in that movie, too. Yeah, that's sweet in the pot at all. Oh, that sours it even more. So he's in the bathtub, and Brian Robbins, I guess, from lugging this corpse around, has been sweating. So he's using the cool off function on the hairdriar, which I didn't know they had in 1989. I thought that was an invention of the 90s. thought he was just trying to keep that mullet in shape because that's a 24 hour profession that's it's a

really really wild mullet man this is it's top notch mulletry it's howard stern ask like old old school howard stern yeah totally like a pre-private parts howard's turn absolutely so he's doing he's doing the whole like i got to cool my face down possibly also keep my mullet and check the mother knocks on the door and he gets spooked by a knock at the door and drops the air dryer in the bubble bath that also has Bud the Chud in it and yeah this is where this movie's going Justin and so because this we also

know from Robert Vaughn that all it takes to reanimate his Chud project is just a little bit of electricity so Bud the Chud gets electrocuted by this thing comes to life and the laughs keep on coming I don't know man like

it sums it up 80s you gotta get your dick right man like we just had no single concept how to make a movie I don't know how anybody and then it's just walking and gags

I guess oh it's gags from here on that like it's just gags I mean this movie we're doing it under the the umbrella of the you know the WHM spookacular this is a comedy this is not a horror movie this is a teen sex comedy without any teen sex no sex which also how do we not let

that happen like somebody's to fuck something in this movie. You know it's going to video and you know what you can show on video these things. Exactly. Exactly. And even bigger failure, when the horniest person in your movie is the titular

Bud the Chud, that's a problem. That's a big problem. Yeah. Where are the horny teens? There's not one makeout session that's busted up in this movie. And since he's such a horny character, I'm expecting to see, you know, Bud's the Chubba. Well, that's the thing.

It's like, it's like, what it was, the Chekhov's, whatever. Chekhov's gun, Chekhov's Gun and Bud's Chubb. Yeah. Man, I want to see go off if you're talking about it. Well, he's instantly horny from like the second he's revived because he sees a picture of our hero Brian Robbins, the nerd friend who's also, they like split the hero role. And then their best friend, which is like a C grade I own sky is what this girl looks like. And it's the three of them are like, friends. Forever. Like the childhood friend kind of a thing.

Yeah, they got a Dawson's Creek thing. Pacey, Joey, and Dawson. Exactly. They walk arm and arm and arm a lot. Yeah, and the nerd's okay with it, but Brian Robbins is like a little weirded out by it, but he goes along with it anyway. I think if this movie doesn't happen,

we're going to get the Dreamers next summer. You know what I mean? Like, it's just, there's one more summer, and then it's like, let's just figure it all out. That's Chud 3. Chud 3, the Dreamers. Another genre shift. Remember when we had that corpse?

No, I don't. No, I don't. Now let's just take this bath together. Put more bubbles on me. So Bud finds a picture of the three of them, and like the girl is in the middle, and he tears the guys out of the picture. So now it's just horny zombie the movie.

Well, here's something stupid. They revive... Narrow this down. They revive a corpse and they're like, hey, let's go out drinking, or like, let's go... No, they go to a bossy burger. Every time they have something to do, They go get a hamburger.

It's like the max for Chud 2. It's Chudu's the max bossy burger. If I'm, if I steal a corpse at all, I'm not going out that night. No matter what. They actually said, they actually say, oh, we'll just pick this up tomorrow. Yeah, it's like, no, you reanimated a fucking corpse, dude. They put enough effort into finding this guy. We'll take it up tomorrow.

They also have this one small throwaway line that just bugged me so much. This is when she's coming out of the bossy burger. And she's like, okay, who wants burgers? Likely to do guys waiting at a car The two guys who just sent you into the store to get burgers $10 to go inside and get hamburgers These two people would be the people that want burgers Remember what I gave you money for hamburgers?

All right, who wants the thing that I just got for everybody? What I love is there's this ongoing thing throughout this movie Because it's like, Bud is, I mean, he's not a Chet, he's a zombie And it's like, because it's a comedy, it's like, we're going to see zombies do things they haven't normally done before. So I started thinking of like, when someone was writing this, it was like, hey,

you ever want to see a zombie do this? You ever want to see a zombie do that? And the first of those in this movie is, hey, you ever want to see a zombie flush a toilet? Because there's just this like 45 second shot of Garrett Graham flushing a toilet

for no reason. Well, this night could go one of two ways. One is Bud the Chud. The other way is Encino Man. And he's prom king you know what i mean like they bring him to school the next day he's the exchange student yeah you're totally right they're kind of trying to tread that ground a little bit because like bud has to start looking cool because now he's thinking with his chub yeah like he ends up murdering someone for a blazer he's killing for clothes man it's like stealing someone's air jordan's because he wants to look cool for this hot lady his hot little piece there yeah see grade i own

Sky. She's from Say Anything, by the way. The actress from Say Anything. Oh, yeah. A brief cameo in David Fincher's Zodiac. Oh, she's in Zodiac? Yeah, she's the lady who's driving with the baby and like her car breaks down and he's like Oh, hey, I can change that flat tire

for you, just give me a minute. No. And then she like jumps out of the car. Yeah, she's that guy. Well, this guy's got Zodiac boots on, speaking of Zodiac. Oh, let's get to that. So the whole thing is like, but the Chud just starts wandering the neighborhood. Yeah, because they leave a fucking reanimated corpse in their house.

I mean, like, at this point, you're killing your parents. You're like, oh, fuck my parents. I want this burger so badly that I don't, my little kid sister, my, my mom's dog, my mom and my dad, I don't care if this zombie kills them all. Well, that's the thing, right? Like, I've heard a lot about West Coast burger chains, right? Like, everyone's always like, oh, my God, the in and out burger. Oh, my, if I could, if it was socially acceptable to have sex with burgers, I'd fucking in and out

Burger. Like, that's all you hear about in and out. That is all I hear you. I would eat every meal. But you definitely turned that one up to 11. But, like, maybe Bossy Burger's just that damn good. It's like, it's so good when I get a craving for Bossy Burger.

I don't give a shit if there's a dangerous, reanimated corpse in my house. I'm leaving him there with my family to go satisfied that bossy craving. Somebody thinks that it was clever, that the kids are addicted to burgers just like bud the chud is addicted to even flesh yeah you're totally right somebody thought that

that was a good writing move but you know also adolescents always think they're invincible everything's invincible oh and life is just a game oh yeah take out the trash every day you say i'll do it later i'll do it later and you never do yeah next thing you know bam chudpocalypse and that garbage is never getting taken out now the world's garbage because you had to go to bossy burger So we're... I think we got some uncles in the room that I... We're getting to the uncle age. Oh, yeah, man.

We're getting uncle-fied. So we're walking through the 1980s cliche factory. Like, everything. So he kills a... He kills a surly drunk. You know what I mean? He gets his blazer. And then he goes to this lady's house where she's doing aerobics.

like every fucking woman in everything. By the way, killer workout, that's what stay tuned. Or just watch killer workout, everybody. Just do your damn self-a-favor. Is that in full on YouTube? Yeah, I think it is. That's a Halloween recommend.

There it is. And so she gets a knock at the... She's like, her cat runs out the window. Bud gets a bite of it. We never seen a zombie cat, by the way. Oh, yeah. And...

It's tougher to get those teeth. teeth into a cat, I imagine. Maybe he just missed. I don't know why. No, the fake little teeth they put in the dog every once in a while. Oh, the prop teeth you're talking. Yeah.

It would be harder to get props teeth into a cat. I just feel like it must be. That was one day where they were about to shoot that scene and somebody's like fiddling with a cat. Like, oh, fuck it. And he's just like, cut the scene. Gary Graham's like, but the whole film, it's contingent on the chud cat.

You're going to ruin the whole thing. The chat. Chat. Cat three. And they're so desperate to get this chat that they accidentally kill the cat actor, the cactor. Oh, no. I think that's why they need to pull back. Yeah, that's when it's just like, dude, we've gone too far.

We're going to cut it. We've got to cut it from the script now. That's terrible woman that's doing the aerobics. Oh, she's, what I love is she's doing the aerobics in this, like, leopard print aerobics outfit and, like, insulting the people on the video. Right. She goes, this woman comes hard, man. Like, she brings it. She goes, not like you have an ounce of fat on you, you little neo-Nazi, anorexic, leotarded slut.

Oh, my goodness. This is that just, like, smack you in the, like. That is some contempt for Jane Fonda. Yeah, she didn't like it. Especially for a woman who then immediately asked Bud that shut out on a date. Yeah. Do you know what she, do it, do it. So she's like, she's putting the cat food down and she opens the door and Bud the

Shud standing there, and he's got his zodiac boots, and she's touching them, like, oh, you, what big feet you have. In her kitchen. Yeah. And, like, she looks up and she's like, hey, are you heterosexual? Yeah, this is, if he's straight, and then if he has a job. Yeah, well, you know what, she's barked up too many wrong trees. She's sick and tired of it.

I guess most men that break into your house are, like, unemployed gay guys that want to date you. If one more unemployed, unimplored. Boyd gay guy breaks into my house. I'm moving. In that short scene, that woman was sad. She just says, like, when he turns out to be a chud, she's just like, oh, another big date I didn't get. Yeah, totally.

If they're not gay, they're chuds. He goes, she's like an angry Kathy cartoon. That was her requirement. She says, do you live in the neighborhood? Are you a heterosexual? Why does live in the neighborhood matter? That's a weird qualifier. I guess why else would you be in my house?

you better be my next door neighbor telling me that something's on fire outside otherwise you're a burglar or a murderer and you better be straight get the fuck out of my house i know that people say this all the time they kind of this is kind of a just-ed water joke but if you if somebody ever walked up to you just on the street and just asked you live in the neighborhood are you a heterosexual i think that's the funniest set of questions to ask a stranger i could ever come up with because it's kind of like why do you want to know where I live. You've got to watch out who you ask that. And so you don't do that hidden camera show in Alabama. That's a good idea. So he bites her and you get an apple bite sound effect yet again.

That's what it is. Yeah, it's just, it's like, no. Crunch. Goes her neck muscle, I guess. And Robert Vaughn on the other end of this movie is not, he's aware of it. He comes to town, but he's not too hot

on the trail to Chud. No, he's got He's got nothing but his killer instinct A nerdy assistant Who is It's the guy from what you said I mean he's just he's a character actor He's the saved by the Bell

Episode Oh the murder mystery Mystery guy Yeah that's the only thing I remember It's my favorite episode of that show Robert Vaughn's hair by the way He needs a haircut if you're going to play a general I'm sorry it's shaggy in the back

He's got a duck's ass going on And that's not okay You really can't You got to have... That was the one thing that took me out of the movie. His non-military grade haircut. Up to then, I was like, this could happen. Wait a minute. Colin Powell never had that haircut.

Petraeus never had that haircut. Column Powell also just didn't get into a car with one person and go to a residential neighborhood. And leave a vague threat. Yeah, it's just like, the military's here. That's the 80s. Get your dick right. every song has a whistle in it and generals go to residential neighborhoods there is speaking

you just you just reminded me of something big gripe I have with this movie speaking of whistles and sound effects and stuff if you listen real carefully in this movie every time there's like a bad joke mainly one of the sexualized jokes there's a baseline

a really quick it's buried like deep within that soundtrack but it's like Robert Vaughn like make some pun and it's like beryl like fucking come on dude you are not a sitcom right now you're at best a horror

comedy question mark question mark is a big one so nobody is hot on the trail of anything by the way it's like the teens doing one thing Robert Vaugh sitting in a limo for 75% of his scenes and Gargrab decimating this town he's one of the most successful

zombies of all time yeah that's true yeah one to one one zombying? He's doing really good job. He's bringing in a lot of numbers. He's also a pretty good leader at the end. He shows some solid leadership skills. He does. But he's also in like the dumbest town in America. Winterhaven's filled with idiots.

Why would you store a zombie in the dumb town where everyone's not going to be able to do anything? They just get eaten. They're so ignorant about everything. And then it's spreading. And now a barber gets it at one point. If I have a strain of a virus,

of cataple virus in a man I'm going to have somebody keep an eye on it maybe lock that door at least a pet a whole film this film would not be if a padlock was purchased oh yeah no movie like you can't just walk into the CDC

like it's a fucking coconuts it's ridiculous they can't afford a rent a cop the government can't even get a rent-a-com you couldn't get a blart at the door he could be putting his feet up yeah nap every once in a while. He could be looking at nudie magazine.

Slim Whitman could be playing all the classics. This is Chod 4 when we kind of try to go back to form of Chud 2. After that weird third erotic movie. Yeah, exactly. After erotic European awakening that we have with Chud 3. Now it's Blart at the CDC. Well, what's amazing is the hospital at the beginning of the movie does have an armed guard who's like flipping a gun around.

He is looking at a magazine. That guy needs to be at the CDC. office. And what's amazing is when Robert Vaughn goes to the office to be like, all right, what happened here? The guys, like the scientist is like, well, we have videotape of the kids walking in and taking the body of it. What the fuck?

I was more speaking in the what the fuck happened here for sense. Not in the actual details of what happened here. You're telling me, a five star general, that someone just walked into this secure government facility. Two teenagers just waltzed in and stole a corpse.

Well, the answer is it, like, it's not I'm not actually interested in what happened. Well, they came in and took him. Like, no, no, no. How was this allowed to happen? And then they don't even tell, like, the local PD to keep an eye out. No, no one is made aware of it. It's honestly, like, the size of a cock up is, like, the Secret Service letting that guy run into the White House a couple weeks ago.

Yeah. Oh, this is even worse. This is, like, a double Benghazi. Well, double Benghazi on you, too. Paul Blart, so I'm sorry, I just, I need to keep you straight by it. The third one is the Paul Blart. No, that's the European Sexual Awakening. Four, yeah.

So, title, tagline from Chud to Chubb. We know all about it. Yeah, I don't have the name for it yet, but I got that, yeah. We're there. We're getting there. Like, the poster can be like his fat ass with a nudie mag hanging on the back pocket. You know? Oh, and just a single hand coming up from.

Oh, yeah. Oh, that's good. Rip off the poster from me. beat balls. That would do it. Or like a Porky's poster. Yeah. And it's just Chud for the chubbbing.

I was always kind of partial to the standard movie poster where I've tried to keep everybody out of something. Oh, I love it. I'm up against a door and there's a bunch of other. Like, it's usually your family or whatever. But this is, it's like, it's like Chud and a sexy girl that wants to sleep with you. Yeah, totally. They're leaning back.

So they're still putting force, but they're mid kind of blow the hair. out of your eyes, like, yeah, please, this is happening. Oh, yeah. Oh, that is the poster for Chud for the Chubbin. If there's another, can we do cartoon versions of the characters like Police Academy? Oh, yeah. Just keep that around. Just keep that around.

Chud Fives on the table. What are thinking about it? Saturday morning, we're just chugging through Chuds, man. All right, sorry. So, Garrett Graham goes to a barber shop at one point. This is kind of like the most violent scene in the movie. Yeah. He comes out of a barbershop and he's got like the barber

apron still on and he's got a little blood on his lip and he's got a little Dracula blood on the chin. Yeah we're doing some Dracula blood and then like we go back into the barbershop and this like I can only imagine this actor is a failed stand-up comedian like I was just picturing this

guy with that mullet which is more of a Seinfeldian mullet which fits for the time period perfectly like goes in I was imagining this guy like in front of a brick wall just like telling really shitty jokes dressed like a substitute teacher And so this guy comes in

And he's like talk It's a real like shitty like Hey kids today kind of a thing And like I'm not going to go get a haircut at the mall When I can come to you Lou the barber Who for some reason looks exactly like a zombie right now And this guy is like so just concentrating on Like complaining about prices of haircuts

At Supercutt See that is the dumb town at play Yeah you're right He doesn't notice that he's about to be murdered I know Lou's old or whatever But he's not that old He's not decomposing in front of you. Yeah, but now he is, and I'm just going to talk to him

and let this man take a knife to my neck. That's what's amazing, though, is that this barber does not, like, bite into this guy. He sharpens a straight razor and he cuts his throat. Sorry, if you take a look again, if you ever watch it again, he sharpens the wrong side of the straight razor. Yep, he's not sharpened at the blade side. This movie is rated R, I would imagine, right?

It's technically rated R, man. don't know why this is rated art. There's no violence, there's no... Again, and this is a zombie movie. You know, let's pretend it's not a Chud movie because it's not. Yeah. Like, why am I not seeing, like, somebody's...

Like, actual... Like, why am I not seeing Eastern Promise's Barbershop scene? You know what I mean? Exactly. Like, let's get some fucking... That's a Barber... That's a Barbershop scene. Much better than the film Barbershop, I've always felt.

A lot of good scenes in Barbershop to take place in Barbershop. You know, Barbershop could have used some Russian Mafio, so... Nobody had their stars in that film Surprisingly funny enough When I saw Eastern Promises The first thing I thought about When that scene happens is this movie Oh really?

When he's like, You're a Russian dog And he's just really working it Like your dad trying to carve a dry Thanksgiving turkey Just cutting into that dude's neck I was like, oh, Chud too Yeah, I bet Cronenberg got it from this Man, he's just

really working it through that guy's throat in that movie. I fucking love it so much. Yeah, a lot of elbow grease goes into that for sure. Easter promises, too, elbow grease. But that's the thing is there's no gore. Like, the dog gets killed nothing. Like, everything's off screen.

So how is this an R-rated film? The big sexy moment is he puts on a bathing suit suit for a bit. Yeah, a pretty big bathing suit, too. It's a huge one-piece bathing suit. Like, I don't understand how this movie's rated are. It's a real flub. It's real ratings for it. And it's not even like bad language, if I'm not mistaken.

Like, not even, oh, shit, or what the fuck? There's definitely no fuck in this movie. Yeah. There's no fuck. There's no fucking. No one's talking about getting high. I mean, it's 1989. Someone should be doing cocaine.

These kids aren't getting fucked up. That's the thing. These fucking Dawson's Creek kids aren't fucking drinking. Just nary a silver bullet to be sought. No. And like the end of this movie takes place at a high school Halloween dance. Nobody's spiking the punch, right? Nobody's doing coke off the toilet in the bathroom.

there's none of that it's just a bunch of wholesome dancing fuck that and i mean like yeah if it's a bad town it's about the teens let's instead of the three let's get like 12 or 10 they all do it together and like oh my god now we're all getting chuddered up you know what i mean like one by one they're getting chutted yeah and so speaking of that because now that the chudism has spread a bit and now the barber is also a chud as we said but like and we see that the aerobics lady is a chud

And now some of these chuds can speak English, but Bud the chud, until the end of the movie, basically, silent roll. Yeah, he just kind of like makes a lot of like, ghar, grr kind of noises. We were talking about this a little bit before we started recording, but he's kind of a Frankenstein. He is more of a Frankenstein than a talking zombie. I mean, what this movie, I feel is like kind of parroting a little bit is Romero's Day of the Dead, which does feature a talking zombie in it. And it's the whole... But these are all the zombies that wouldn't go to one-liners like Bud does.

No, there's no one-liners. But that movie, like, the whole idea of it was like, oh, as these zombies evolved, like there's a possibility of intelligence there. But this is all just like dumb-ass zombies. There's not... I mean, well, to Eric's point, none of it's defined.

Like, you don't know whether or not, like... You need set up some rules. At least, you know, a film like Time Cop sets up their time travel or attempts to. Just tell, be consistent. I need Robert Vaughan at the beginning of this movie in this meeting to be like, okay, here's what

happens when you turn into a chud. The chud do's and the chud don'ts. Okay, when you're a chud, you can sort of speak English. You can't walk in a straight line like a sober person. Your dick still works. But you can't impregnate anybody. You're

shooting blanks. That's kind of my favorite part about why I like zombie movies. I'm not a huge horror movie fan, but zombie movies are the ones I absolutely like because every time, not every time, but you get these little variations that are always really fun. Yeah. And there's, you know, a good film in the first act

you just set up, like, all right, guys, everybody knows what we're here, right? But this is one of them. They're a little fast about medium speed this time around. We're going to try that. They're not going to be 28 days later, but they're not going to be walking dead. Like, that's what I like about these things, and they give you none of that. It sounds like Cabinor in the woods a little bit there. Yeah. You need

chug parameters. But you know what it would be great. It's like this is an opening for a great moral debate. because then, you know, you have the... No one's ever said this about Chud, too. History's being made right now. Right. Okay, now the general and the scientist guy could be just like, oh, the Chuds can talk

and makes you wonder what kind of humanity they have inside of them still. Makes you wonder what kind of... If there's a soul still in there? But what kind of ideas these chuds might start having, right? Well, the whole thing. The whole thing is like we want to use them

as mindless super soldiers. But if they have a humanity, and they start being able to form their own opinions, well, that's a Chud problem. Or do we have to compensate the spouses of the fallen soldiers? The fallen Chud soldiers? So maybe it's like... No Ched left behind, my friend.

I don't know where to shove this into our weird Chud box that we've got going on, but zero Chud 30? Oh, yes. They're sending them in to diffuse bombs. Yeah, but no, also like... Oh, the Chud locker? There it is. No, Jessica Chess State is like zaping Chud's balls and she's feeling not so great about it.

And then it's just like, you know, we found out Osama bin Laden's in Islamabad. We're going to drop a few chuds from a helicopter into his compound. You got Chris Pratt as a chud, a real jack chud. You know, there's like a good interaction where they send them in to do some dirty work or something that, you know, with smart bombs around. They send the chuds in and they go like, what, you do? We got, we got, like, you know, 25 blast suits in the back. You're not going to give him the blast suits, and one mean old general goes, why? And a chud overhears it?

And he's like, gr-and he gives him some chud ideas, and they're not getting a fair chud handshake, man. Exactly. Joel Edgerton might be a chud, by the way. I'm not entirely convinced one way or another. I've seen that fucking Gatsby movie. He might be a chud. You know, I think you're on to something there. I think there might be something there.

Maybe that's what happened. When you, after, one of the side effects of working with Baz Luhrman is Chudism. I think is what might happen. You work with them long enough. You catch Chud. You're fucked. That may be true. Totally possible.

Don't quote me on it, but that theory might be 100%. I mean, I haven't seen the- A handsome man named Leonardo Caprio kind of sings that theory. Although Nicole Kidman. Yeah. I can see Toby McGuire is a Chud. And I don't know why. we're going through the dime store Halloween jokes for everything like I mean just

left end or right we go back to bossy burger thank God because I haven't thinking I haven't been thinking about West Coast cheeseburgers in a while and it's Robert Vaughn is like you know we've been looking for this chud all day I sure first of all no you've not yeah you just woke up he goes he goes he goes oh it's the driver that's like break for lunch oh yeah And he's like, yeah, I could use a burger. Looking for this chud is hard work. He's driving aimlessly around the town really hurts up an appetite for three and a half hours. And we take a lunch break and feel a little guilty about it.

Like, you just kind of do the math of what you've done in the day so far. And you're like, I shouldn't be. Okay. Well, here we are. That's the Robert Vaughn right now. You get that look if you go also like for whatever reason, if you're hungry, you get that 1145 lunch. Yeah.

And the person when they order it, they're like, all right. I shouldn't be doing this. Chicken wrap, huh? It's going to be in your mouth before noon. Fine, I guess. So they stop at this bossy burger, and there's zombies that are inside the bossy. Oh, I'm shocked. Oh, oh, I'm sorry.

There's chuds. There's not one zombie in this movie. They're all chuds. The chuds are in the bossy burger, and it's a weird, like, they're like, we want burger meat. We want meat. I was like, well, we got a lot of meat. We got a bossy this and a bossy that.

What kind of bossy do you want? And the guy's name is Bobby, and they're like, Bobby Berger. Shut make a joke, then eat person. But that's the thing is they're not, and this is, it's some, it's most zombie movies, too. Except for, like, like, really gross ones. Like, they never want to eat everybody. You know what I mean? Like, eat them all up.

Like, if I'm always like, oh, I'm so fucking hungry. I'm going to bite you. you once like no eat the shit out of it's what it is it's like whatever pun they can get out yeah like if there was like although this one they were they are kind of sexually charged because they are looking yeah they're all looking for hot

babes yeah yeah yeah but if there's like a guy in a leather jacket and they got and they and they got one yeah like oh I'm I get this guy because I got it's all the biker burn on the ready none of the chuds look like they've been ravaged by anybody they're all like just look like dead people like if I'm a fucking hungry

ass chud and I'm if I get somebody i'm getting them like 20 days later style it's the same way i get when i want to eat at bossy burger you fuck that burger up they like to have variety they just have one little bite and they move on yeah they want to try everything you know no you got to get like the sexually adventurous chud it's like after you get chipotle and you've got like the smell on your wrist you know what i mean like that that's the shame smell it is it stays on your fingers man You're just like, oh, I can't believe I paid that extra $2.80 for shitty guacamole. What a mistake.

But that's what these chuds should be doing, is getting down to the knitting the grit. Yeah, you're totally right. They should be sucking the marrow out of these fuckers. Doesn't happen. Robert Vaugh launches a rocket launcher at it, which is pretty fucking great. It's a real deal explosion. You're blowing up this fake burger stand. It also's kind of fun because most of the time he's using that little freeze gun or a flamethrower.

So you were just expecting fire or ice. And it's rocket. I was like, whoa, rock it. A song of fire and ice here. But so that bazooka hits that bossy burger and it explodes. And then they just leave without even checking the bodies. They're like, we got those chuds. That's all done.

A chud gets up and makes some quip. Yeah, he's like, oh, well done. Because it's because it's the shot. chef at the bossy burger he also is the same one that he carries around the fry the friator basket the whole movie he takes that thing into the pool man

fine fine chud chef what's awesome though is there's like there's the burger that has the burger restaurant that's got the chuds in it and then there's this truck that some chuds were driving and the whole thing is robert vaughn's like

better leave no evidence about what happened here and he takes out a gun and like shoots the gas tank of this truck perfectly just blows it up for no reason but he's all he also doesn't want them driving or something like he's like nothing worse than a chud behind

the wheel take away their wheels so we're blowing things up and at this point I mean there's a full on chud army and what you realize is this is what we learn that chuds cannot be killed by explosions or by freezing either or by freezing it's because all

the chuds eventually stand up the fry you know the fry cook stands up first makes a dumb-ass fast-food pun. And then they all stand up like, oh, wow, that was rough. It's like when the Blues Brothers stand up after Carrie Fisher fucking knocks the halfway house down and they just get up with no problem.

Like, that's what these chuds do. That's another horror comedy. I'll say horror because the idea of going to prison is terrifying. So we're just walking around looking for these chuds. We wind up in a barn, right? This is the barn sequence, which goes... Random barn. And like, so the...

kids start to feel guilty, I guess. Like, because one of them's like, ah, I guess we kind of unleashed the apocalypse. Maybe we should take responsibility. Stupid bossy burger addiction. Shouldn't have left that chud wandering around. How would not get the chud at all?

And the nerdy guy likes... By the way, he's one of your classic 1980s nerdy hunk. You know what I mean? Yeah, it's a really handsome guy with horn rimmed glasses on. With abs you could put butter on You could put butter on

Any type of ab in that But it'd be better on those Butter's great and all But on that nerds abs Yum town I go for buns man With buns you could butter You know that too man

This guy I bet's got a nice set Of abs I'm just saying You know he's more hunky than nerdy Oh absolutely And he's got, you know, he's got the crush on the babe that they hang out with, and, you know, she, he's always trying to work up the courage, etc. And they wind up in this barn. And it's great because they get attacked by not only, this is when Garrett Graham, Bud the Chud meets Katie is her name. And he's like, oh, Katie. And she's like, oh, my God, he wants me. And then, like, this farmer says the cheesiest line, which is what in the wild world of sports is going on. Yeah, that's terrible.

And some chud just kind of comes at him and he shoots him with a shotgun. He's not aware that that guy's a chud by the time. No, this guy is a real shoot first. He is quick on the draw. He is first, ask chud-related questions later. That definitely could have been your totally not-a-chud son. Just checking out what's happening. Oh, no, I've shot my not-a-chud son.

He wasn't even a chug. Why couldn't my chud-son be here instead? I told you, dad. And then just for years after that, he's like, I killed the wrong son. Should have been you? You have him, like, locked up, like a short of the dead. Oh, yeah, he's locked up playing PlayStation in the shed. You know what actually would have, if this scene worked out this way, would have been very funny,

and they probably could have got away with it. It's if, well, if he did kill his kid by accident and then turn the gun on himself, could you imagine Bud being like, whoa. I mean, I just wanted to turn them into monsters, but out. Do you guys want to go? Bud has to sit down for the night, his hand in his hands. I thought I was the monster. Turns out it was humanity.

I don't know why he's a pirate all of a sudden. I mean, it's weird. I kind of can't get that image out of my head. I close my eyes and I see that kid fly back. He's a guy to counseling? Chud's support crew? Chounseling. That's when he starts his road to recovery.

I got to stop eating people. people, maybe he'll bite some rats or something. He'll find Jesus eventually. Yeah. Chudism is one of the things Jesus said was a sin. It's being a chud, being gay. That's a weird

interpretation of the Bible, because when I look at it, Jesus was a chud. I mean, he rose from the dead. I'm not saying he's cannibalistic. Although, is he the type of guy that feeds you the human flesh? Because it's the blood and the body of Christ. You're Catholic, Steve.

say that him going in that tomb could count as him underground dwelling. Oh my God. There is it. Dude. Revelations on we hate movies. Chud's six. The passion of Bud.

Yes. Doubting Thomas was like, I think that guy's a Chud. They're like, fuck you, doubting Thomas. You're doubting Thomas. The Lazarus Project. Yes. Got to get the colon's back in there.

I feel like we... At this point, Robert Vaughn shows up, freezes Bud, and Bud, like, It's out of it. And he's like, oh, no, he's adapting. And he's like, no, he's not. Yeah, it's so stupid. Like, without any kind of analysis whatsoever, the nerdy assistant comes up, and he's like,

well, it appears as if the Chud has learned to raise his body temperature to melt out of this ice prison. Look, what the fuck are you smoking, peewee? Jesus Christ. He doesn't come up with pacifications methods that could be overcame by waiting a bit. Yeah. Like, even if he didn't raise his blood temperature, he still didn't know. You're in California.

He was, they were like, well, John. Well done. They were halfway to the car. They really were. They just froze it and they were just going to walk away. Well, we iced that chud. It's what we came here for. Well, it's 4.30. Might as well, dinner time. You know, I could go for some bossy burger right about now. Of course, we'll have to go to the next town over because I blew up the last one.

I think somewhere in here is when we do have the best line of this movie, which is the joke, this chuds for you. This chud is for you. Oh, man. a playoff of this bud right yes this bud's named but wow this is this is pretty clever yes that's really you know what it is this is really it's uh it's representing the zeit guys really well like that commercial was super pop this buds for you right this chuds for you it's going to be a sensation it's going to be on all these t-shirts i'm surprised they didn't get a little a little dog with a black eye to be in this film i feel like isn't that what that dog is

Wasn't he Spuds McKenzie Was Spuds McKenzie Miller though? Oh, I'm not I can't remember But for a second I thought you meant

They would just Punch a dog in the face I always imagined Spud's McKenzie Just got to a bar fight He's a rough And tumble dog He's a hard

He's a hard Scrabble dog That Spud's McKinsey Pounded him down All day Oh yeah dude He would get into so many Bar scraps

You don't get a nickname Like Spuds Unless you know You totally drink a lot So now the kids team up with Robert Vaughn and I guess the rest of the U.S. military. All six of them. Budget cuts. Emperor Reagan just got kicked out of office.

They kind of get arrested and are put in this interrogation in the room. They're like, where do you think this chud is going? I don't know. We're fucking teenagers. Look, we were just trying not to get detention full disclosure. We don't know much about the motivations of these chuds necessarily. Also, we're possibly between 16 and 17 years old. Chances are you know a lot more than us.

You're actually wasting time while my town gets destroyed and ravaged. Oh, I'm sorry. I just heard you call him a chud. Is that what they're called? Because I had no idea because I'm a child. I don't know why they thought those kids had any idea. You're like, you have helicopters and we have acne. Why are you asking me?

All Robert Vaughn should be concerned with doing is putting two in the brain of these kids. Yes. Oh, yeah. And then bringing the hammer down and just. Wiping Winterhaven off the map Because at this point, that's the only way to stop the outbreak. That's how you do it.

This town doesn't exist anymore. Yeah, and no one from that town ever existed because they can just delete your social security numbers and stuff and then it's like you were never there. Exactly right. It's fairly well thought out. They do it all the time. There's missing towns.

If you're a five-star general, you get two of those in your career before you have any formal inquiry. You're right down and write two letters. Like, I'm sure somewhere in America, there's an actual town under a dome that they've kept under wraps. They put a wrapper over the dome. Yep. It's a forest-themed skin that's over the dome. You'll see it, like, on Google Earth, you'll see like a bubble of forest.

And you'll be like, oh, that's just a weird thing of how it loaded. Nope. Nope. Where is there a bubble of forest right in downtown St. Louis? Downtown what? I don't think I've ever heard of it. at one point by the way Larry Linville's in this movie

as a doctor who's trying to do an operation on a chud that he doesn't know as a chud is that what's happening? It's a male man again no one in this movie knows how to undress a corpse it's the autopsy it's the autopsy oh right by the way a dog

the chud dog kills a mailman in this movie that's hilarious yeah like a chud dog would bottom of the barrel and don't worry it happens silently we'll have two people watch TV and don't notice out of bay window in case

you were worried. I'm surprised there aren't more mother-in-law jokes in this from where we're going with this humor. I feel like one of the guys who wrote this script must have done a pass on some mads the lighter side of.

Or possibly written by a failed stand-up comedian. One of the other, yeah. Like a real hack fucker. Right? Like all right I fail that stand up maybe I'll go and I'll try to write a movie oh what's that I'm writing chud too bud the chud I mean it's all hack shit and you know he gets so he's trying to do an autopsy on a fully clothed mailman like he's about to cut into this guy's outfit he's also hilariously fucking totally blackout drunk yeah I guess I don't which I don't find well because I think it's like Larry Linville's like my god I played a fucking surgeon on mash one of the greatest television shows of all time now I'm in what is it chud what is it chud what Oh, fuck this, I'm getting drunk. You're absolutely right.

He never knew the full name of this movie. Because it was like, chud the stuff. I don't know. It's like, chud the what's it? Chud the paycheck. And that was, this was such a missed opportunity for a chud, chub. Because it was right, you know, you strip them. Strip them.

And it's like, my God, look at that undead erection. Right. The rigor mortis. And like, because it, because it activates the horny sensors of the brain. Is that the technical term, by the way? I think so. The sexy bits? I actually, you know, the more you talk about it, the government, if they're studying Chuds and they're worried about proliferation, they kind of, when they, that's, that's written down somewhere, whether the chub works.

Yeah, where the chub. They, they would, it would be the first thing they checked. Where the wild chubs are. The Chud seven. So, they find out that if you find out that if you. freeze a chud and then electrocute it, it explodes. Yeah. Cut to the high school dance that we've been hearing about since the beginning of this movie.

It's the big Halloween dance that Winter Haven's having. And like just very conveniently, everyone, the kids are like, oh my God, they're going to go to the dance. It'll be like a buffet. And like, well, wait, the whole town's a buffet, clearly. Because there's no police and no fucking military intervention. Multiple people have been murdered in the streets. Why has it word spread? You're going to stay in.

You're not going to the dance. Let me tell you something. That dance is canceled. Yes. That's a canceled dance. You know what, kids? There's going to be no Halloween this year because there's an actual horror movie happening outside.

Stay home and watch TV. And we get a Chud parade and a celebrity. Choreographed Chud Walk. Yeah. And a celebrity cameo. Chimio. Walk dance. Celebrity cameo, Eric.

Who is just walking the streets in Chud 2? Robert England. Mr. Freddie Krueger. Just literally walking a dog in a coat and a scarf. He looks very nice. For like a half a second. No dial, not a line of dialogue. Not even a close-up.

It's this like high-angle crane shot of kids trick-or-treating. And he's like, wow, I'm just, oh, I'm sorry, are you filming a movie? I live next tour. I think that's what it was. I think they just filmed. They just got the rights to film on his block and waited out until he took his dog for a walk. Oh, then they set up all the extras it was. Hey, did you film that?

No. Has he had made any, like, serious? movies or been anything other than in horror films? I don't think so. I mean, I don't know. He's made a lot of movies. Most of them are just terrible horror movies, but it's entirely possible. There's probably one in there. There might be. He was in Ford Fairlane. Well, that counts. That's right. He plays like a goon hitman in the adventures of Ford Fairlane with Andrew Dice Clay. So he's done like bad comedies outside of bad horror movies. It's just very odd.

it's the only experience with Robert England where he's not the star of the shot. Yeah. I've never seen him not, you know, it being about Freddie. When Freddy's around, it's about what he's up to. Oh, it's the Fred Kruger show. Absolutely. I would love it if he's just like, what's his? Oh, it's, you're doing a sequel to Chud.

That's great. Where's Danny Stern? Let me talk to Dan. Oh, Johnny's around. Where's John Hurd? Come on. And he's like, oh, wait, that's what? Oh, so it's barely.

Oh, I see. I don't mean to tell you how to do your job, but I'm going to. So what you're making is a zombie movie movie. guys know that right okay just as long as you know I'm just going to is there any uh sociopolitical commentary on the homelette no no nothing oh all right I have some experience I figured it yeah godspeed that camera wasn't rolling right when I walk my dog across the street you told all the Halloween kids to walk and they followed me it wasn't on you promise I haven't help you if I go to the popcorn video next week

I see my own goddamn face and chud right I'll be watching can't wait best of luck He just walks away. Hey, they're making a movie called Chubb. So it's the dance. And you know what? Fuck this movie for a couple of reasons. One, it's, we get the nice 80s tableau of the rock band playing the dance. Oh, yeah.

Gotta have it. Not so good synchronized dancing. Like, there is a dance scene, but it's not really, it's not very good. It's like they couldn't decide if they wanted it to be a synchronized, a synchronized dance scene or not. Because some people are, and then some people are just standing. Yeah, it's not well done. And there are some plain looking extras in this, in this, there's a guy in a t-shirt with like a mullet that's tied into a ponytail.

Like that's the kind of extra level we're at here. And that guy, God bless him, is dancing his heart out. He's really going for it as this dancing extra. But you're right, I feel it was a thing where they were like, well, we don't really know what song we're going to be able to get to like dub over whatever this band is pretending to play. So half of you dance to this song and half you dance to dance. Nope.

Because half of it's like cool 80s dancing and the other half is big band swing dancing. You're totally right. So many big band swim moves going on. Some girls getting thrown through a guy's leg and flip back up and you're like, wait, what? Someone's dancing like that girl

in Friday the 13th 5? That chick who's just going for it? Robert Sean Leonard is just dancing by himself for no reason. there's a moment before they get it when they all show up to the dance itself that really really bugged me because they're talking there's never in a third act as we approach your third act should there ever be a negotiation over three dollars which there is because they're like if you don't come here you can't let come in but you can't come in but we only let you in if you have three dollars right it's like the snooty girl who works for the glee club who's like working the door at the dance yeah and she's like oh you guys aren't from a rival school are you i don't want any trouble in there no they're not from a rival school they're all middle-aged men yeah it's a high school dance where are the cups they're clearly people you know also it's a small fucking town like

oh that's my barber that's my fucking grandma there's a great gag though when they enter the gymnasium after they just kill that girl they eat her make her a chud and then enter the gymnasium where they're like like they burst through the door and all the people kind of stop dancing and look and this girl just goes is that my dad and it's hilarious it's such a great line but then it's also really sad because it's like

that moment of like oh fuck my dad is a zombie or a chud pardon me and now we just have a full on monster mash it's a straight up monster mash because you know buds he dust his little blazer off and he hits the dance floor there are dancing out and out dancing chuds in this movie

some chuds are eating some chuds are dancing And one's got a tambourine. I don't think I've seen a zombie with a Chud, nor. Hey, you ever want to see a zombie play a tambourine? Writing in Chud, too. Lookin and clagged. First they flush toilets, then they play tambourines.

These chuds are producing art. Surely they have a soul. There's a humanity to them. You have to stop zapping their balls. Chuds are humans. Chuds are humans. You could do for like, Chud writes. Oh, Chud, right?

Just like X-Men always talks about every movie. So, all right, let's get to the end of this movie. The whole plan is we're going to lead all the Chuds into the high school pool, push him into the pool. They've got some, like, really souped up fire extinguishers that they're going to throw this, like, freezing serum in. At this point, by the way, Robert Vaughn, backs away from the movie. Like, it's your standard I get in the back of a limo, but, uh-oh, a Chud's driving, and you never see him again. Oh, yeah. That's right. He's a central character.

He drives him to the end of movie town, and he's like, I'll let those younger kids take care of it. Chud, too, is a kid's game. I think this Chud's trying to chintz me on the fair. He's been driving in circles. This isn't the way to the airport. Just like a chub to do the rope of dope. I know how to get there, friend. I know how many turns you're taking that you don't have to turn.

I told you, take the Pulaski Bridge. I know you heard me. You looked right in the mirror when I told me. I squeezed me for three bucks. you get no tip chud no tip coming out of your pocket chud i'm paying with a card you're not even gonna get fucking cash that's when they bite you cap drivers and chuds i've been bitten by a couple of cab drivers yeah you still have the marks they do so they start just you know the whole thing is

the katie opens the door knowing that this chud's got a chub before well he she gets in her bathing suit yeah somehow she knows that that that's going to get him going. That's the most skinny scene so far, right? True. I guess it's comparable to the woman working out, but maybe this is a little more. And it's also late in the night, and this chud's probably

been drinking a little. You don't know. I just love that she had the foresight to bring a bathing suit from home for the scheme to work. Which is like, oh, it's in my locker. What do you have like, that's not a school bathing suit. You're going to get expelled from school. A locker for swimming in the pool.

You know, the principal's not okay. with that. Yeah, absolutely. You're getting sent home. You don't get credit for the day. So she's in this bathing. She opens the door and it's like, hey big boy, come and get it. And the whole Chud army, the Charmy just starts running after her.

And it's just like, they all just start getting pushed in the pool. They're getting poked with like pool skimmers and shit. Well, the one thing I don't understand is like, there's women chud, men chud. Like, everybody wants this woman because she goes into the whatever, the auditorium, like, come on everybody.

and like, ooh, that's so much better than anything else here. I'm like, no. Well, I think part of it is like, Bud the Chud is horny as fuck. And he's the leader. Yeah, he's the leader, but also the rest of the chuds are like, oh, we could eat that. They've decimated that gymnasium. So even the homosexual

chuds will... I don't know. Because it's not a sexual thing. It's just he's hungry as fuck. I can see him leaving. I can see him going after Katie, but them leaving the high school dance because there's still tons of kids out there. Yeah. It's like leaving a like a buffet. Like a buffet. like paying for a buffet and then walking outside to get a hot dog.

It makes no sense that they live all that high school flesh and follow her into the pool. Maybe the chuds were like, well, these kids are delicious, but my God, I have to get back to Bossie Burger. So she jumps into the pool and like swims to the other side and all the chuds start falling in and they all get pushed in the pool. They shove this tank in. It freezes the water and then, you know, essentially just freezes all the chuds inside it. Except for Bud who somehow climbs out. There's like a four minute will-they, won't they seen where like they're on a diving board. He crawls up there.

Excuse me. I almost said claws and I realized he's not a monster. No, he's not. He has a heart. Which we see. Because to show. It's on his sleeve. Yeah.

To show his heart and minds of the American public. His affection for this girl, he tears his heart out of his chest, holds it up to her and goes, come on don't you want my heart i'm giving you my heart and it takes forever for the nerd to finally become valiant and freeze bud right and at this point brian robbins gets bit in the foot yes speaking of shot of the dead little i think uh mr mr wright saw this movie at some point peg frost they all watched it you know who else i think saw this movie robert rodriguez because of how what happens

when they put the electricity in the pool. Oh yeah. It just reminded me of the end of dust till dawn where everyone's like they stop still and then you see like

beams of light come out of them and then they start exploding and now everyone is exploding. Yeah. So like they get the electric current and all these chuds are exploding all over the place. They push Bud off the diving board

and when he hits the ice he just explodes and his head goes pinballing all over this pool room. This is the most effect you get in the movie which is better for worse. Aside from that bossy burger blowing up. And don't forget the blazer.

It's a pretty nice blazer. It's a pretty nice blazer. I mean, that's probably 40 bucks. That's 40 bucks right there. In 1989 money, that's a lot of money. He immediately tears the shoulder. It's of no worth. That's the thing. It's a nice blazer, but not well made. They were going to return it right after

They were done filming. Do you think Garrett Graham was like, do I get to keep the blazer? They're like, no, we've got to take it back. He was like, oh, really? Tore the sleeve of his blazer on camera. My uncle's a tailor. He's a rip. Garrett, what are you doing?

I'm a method actor today. A method actor who desperately needs a jacket. I think a horny chud would rip this. You know, that's what horny chuds do when they're horny, right? They tear clothes. Oh, my God. Garrett Graham, while filming Judd 2, he was

always in character, back at the hotel. He wouldn't talk to anybody. He was just being bud the whole time. But then he's like, yeah, to play the character. I just feel like I'd want to raise my sexual tension. So I'm remaining celibate. Like, during the filming and he got a lot of yeah, that's why.

So all the chuds are dead. Which means essentially the entire town. And at this point, even Brian Robbins is like, I kind of feel bad about this. And I'm like, yeah, you killed this fucking town, dude. Not only that, they're not going to have, like, proper burials. You just got a massive mixed-together, exploded flesh. I just feel bad that that high school pool, like, the swimming team, their season's over with.

Oh, yeah. You can't host a meeting there. I love that the movie ends and they all walk out and then one janitor shows up for work early. Oh, shit. Dude, if there is ever time for a Harry Dean Stanton cameo. Every janitor's had Harry Dean Stanton as far as though. Oh, yeah. At the end of the credits, we can flash back to the pool with the janitor,

played by Harry Dean Stan. And then he just suddenly has like the Thriller Cat Eyes or something. It's like, oh no, what is next for Winter Haven? I will say eight out of ten movies will be improved by stingers of Thriller Cat Eyes. Absolutely. Absolutely. Casa Blanca, this will be the beginning of a beautiful friendship, turns around cat eyes. Like that new Jason Reitman movie is a piece of shit.

If it ended with Adam Sandler turning to the camera with cat eyes and Vincent Price laughing over it, five star film. Ben Kingsley and Shiddler's list. You did all you could. It's all the best that he looks up cat eyes. No, that would be a That is how you end, Shindler's Liz Liz. And this won the Oscar? So we get a little like epilogue scene at the end.

Katie picks up the nerd from school. Who's not wearing glasses, by the way. He's learned a lesson that not on camera at all, you know. He's all done through poorly written note. And his buddy, Brian Robbins, Steve writes him a note saying, hey, you guys, I feel really bad about killing the entire town. Yeah, he leaves with his tail between his legs.

So I'm going to go explore the world. He's one of those idiots, like one of those high school morons that's like, man, when the world meets me, look out. And you're like, fucking shut up. And by the way, I think both of you would make a real bodacious cup. Oh, yeah. That would burp by buttons. Yeah.

Now that I'm out of the picture. you can have her nerd friend. That's the thing that it's frustrating is that if they're going to end up together, the nerd and the girl, then we watch that happen. We don't just wait to the end and then read it in a note. They're supposed to get to know each other.

There's tons of opportunities for them to get to know each other and for her to start to fall for him throughout this whole movie. There could be actual scenes. Yeah, there could. They decided not to. There may be scenes. There's a hidden love story there. There could have been scenes in this movie about the movie.

Yes. Like, you have the end of that pool scene, right? Like, he saves her from Bud the Chud, right? Maybe she even, like, falls off the diving board. He, like, catches her or something. It's like, thank you. You save me from Bud the Chud. You get some loving eyes.

And then when you get to the epilogue, they're a couple. Like, that's believable. Maybe even you do that stupid thing where, like, his glasses break in the middle of the movie. And she's like, oh, my God, you look so much better without them. And he's like, hey, want to fuck? You know, that whole gag you've seen in movies a million times.

Yeah, my glasses broke. Want to fuck me now? And then we could cut to them as an old elderly couple, still in love. Oh, remember when we met during that Chud Apocalypse? And then a flying saucer comes down. Turns out Chuds are aliens? Oh, yeah. Chud Nine, Chud Cacoon.

Love it. Love it. Fulford Bremley, Chud. Cat eyes. Oh, my God. Cat eyes and we all retire successes. You know, sad is that it's really sad because the word, world sucks. We'll never get

Judd Wilford Brimley with cat eyes. If that existed, I'd be like, well, everything's great in the world. No matter what happens. Instead, you know, this rock's just a failed shithole. And I'm thinking about the ended jaws, and they're the water, and like the fucking shark is dead. And then

all of a sudden, Roy Scheider, cat eyes. He turns to Richard Drive is. He's like, what day is it? Well, I think it's Wednesday. Oh, okay. Cat eyes. it would be perfect so many movies made better by cat eyes good movies and bad movies

yeah it works every which way it works cat eyes oh so the last epilog so that they like yeah this is a two part epilogue yeah when he goes off to Europe he brings the dog by the way which has never

successfully ever happened part of it is he knows he's going to be a chud and he doesn't want to kill his friends obviously or something even though again the terms of how much of your personality you retain as a chud, how much of it you don't, et cetera, totally undefined. He's straight up our hero, Steve Williams. Yeah. But he just has chud teeth.

This guy's an asshole because it's like, not only did I destroy this town, and I know what an impact that Chud can have on a town, I'm going to just get in a car and go to another town and destroy that. Exactly. You need to commit suicide. You do. Or move to an island where it's just you and your Chud dog. Or chain your side. stuff up in a barn with a PlayStation.

You've got options, but one of those options should not be hitchhiking to the next town. I'm also not sure if he's getting on a plane as a chud. Even if he had the funds. Pre-9-11. Yeah, sure. Yeah, well, chud, it's whatever whatever you want to do.

So a truck pulls over and he gets in. The truck is being driven by Bianca Jagger, Which for what and for what? But she acts like she's been in the movie the whole time. Yeah, it's, I don't know if there's like some weird deleted scenes that we never saw. What does she say?

We got them, didn't we, huh? Yeah, she's like, welcome to the party. And she's like playing a vampire sort of. One second, I thought there was going to be about vampires for one. Yeah, it makes no sense. Like, she's doing a Dracula impression. And I'm like, did they tell you what this movie is about? And Robert Vaughn, like, they put the dog in the back.

It's a pickup truck to put the Vaughan in the bed next to a pile of garbage. The pile of garbage moves and it happens to be Robert Fawn. Not that big of a difference. And he's a Chud and he says, shh, don't tell him I'm back here. I'm undercover. And he like sticks his chud teeth out and I'm like,

I don't give a fuck that you're a chud. You haven't been in this movie for 35 minutes. Fuck you. And Robert Vaughn as pile of garbage. General Carruthers slash. pile of garbage. How do you get credited for that? Is that actor and the miscellaneous crew?

Or does that show up on IV? Yeah, no, because a pile of garbage is technically considered a prop, so that's miscellaneous crew. It's a living prop. I played a living prop in Judd, too. And that's the end of the movie. We're carried out with the Bud the Chud theme song.

Which we haven't talked about, which is the best part of the movie. Oh, yeah. People need to hear a clip of it, maybe. Oh, yeah. Here's a little of a... Bud, the Chud. Oh, it's just

That you love and hate at the same time. That song makes the movie better. It's one of like three songs. There's some other song that's like, I'm a hungry man, that they just play like all the time. And it's all in reference to him being horny. Yeah. Because he'll be like, she a girl.

at the dance, it'll be a big old stupid Judd smile, and it'd be like, I'm a I think it's all about a little thriller rip off, right? Yeah. Yeah. No cat eyes, though. No cat eyes, big mistake. Well, the funny thing is, you watch this whole credits. A, it's the Bud to Chaw theme song, and they paid this band. They were like, look, I want you to write it's a theme song.

Like, oh, great. Could you make it? Don't write it now. Wait till we filmed all the credits. And then literally find a way to fill that entire time. Because there's like a lot of riffs that go nowhere. It's like so many guitar solos, man. It's like the Grateful Dead played it.

Or fucking Trey Anastasio wrote this theme song. If you look at the credits for the song, too, there's like four people credited for writing the song in various parts. Like, I would think that whoever you got to write the vocals, you'd bring in for the music. Oh, no. There's like production, performance. It's like produced, performed, written, lyrics, and music all by four different people.

There's a lot of hands in that stupid. Look, the more people that go into creating one song, the better it is. Isn't that how it works? It's the Dylan theory. Yeah. And speaking of Stingers, we don't get cat eyes, unfortunately. We do just get Garrett Graham's head go, good night. Oh, it's so terrible.

It's like his decapitated head just still sitting on the iced over pool. Speaking of missed opportunities, how does this credit scroll not feature the line? No chuds were harmed in the making of this motion picture. Oh, does the first one have that? No, but missed opportunity on both of those. Well, we'll get it for three through nine. Would anybody recommend Chud to Bud the Chud? I would recommend it.

It's really, it's not good, but it's just really dumb. I don't know. I kind of had a good time watching it. I never saw it before, even though I know you were a Chudud Maniac. Even though I've been talking about this movie since we met 10 years ago. Exactly, exactly, exactly. Well, I got around to it, and you were right. Steve?

No, I wouldn't. And it's been a strain on our friendship for at least a decade. Steve, you got to watch this movie, Chudu, but the Chudd It's great. We've seen, I've watched it with you. My ribs were sore from your elbow. And I just, like, just not doing it for me, man. Uh, JJ. I was done with this movie 10 minutes into it.

I, yeah, I mean, I guess you kind of peel back a bit and say, like, well, see the first one first, but they have nothing to do with each other. No, it doesn't matter. Yeah. But this movie is just a bore. It's pretty boring. The first one, I think, is that's a legitimate recommend. It's one of, it's a really fun, cool, like, it's not a good movie. Like, you couldn't, like, raise it up as a good movie or even a good horror movie, but it's a fun watch. It's got stuff going on that's almost interesting. It's got Daniel Stern's pit stains. And you know what a good way to watch that is? It's with our singable commentary track

Oh, Shudmintary, which you can get in iTunes and CD Baby and just Amazon. Yeah, Amazon. The Apple Store. I would clearly recommend this movie. This is a straight 50-50 split. Now, we've got four people on the episode. We can have a 50-50 split.

I think it's fun. It's so stupid, but it's, I'm laughing at parts. I know it's dumb, but it's, I guess that's, you know, the very definition of a guilty pleasure. I get pleasure out of it, and I feel guilty that I do. So if you're listening at home and you're thinking, should I or shouldn't I watch this?

Flip a coin. Or just actually, I would say with the caveat of even though I like this movie a lot, definitely watch that first one before you do anything. Oh, yeah, for sure. Oh, and a good way to do that is with our chudmintry commentary. Stop it! Don't you have enough money? They send it to me for free.

That's why I can give it to you if you want to pay me with the PayPal account. We won't get funds from Justin if you email him. Justin's trying to just pay him. forward in this Halloween holiday season. That's Chud 2 Bud the Chud from 1989, directed by David Irving. If you want more information about We Hate Movies, check out our website

WHMpodcast.com. Like us on Facebook and follow us on Twitter. We're at WHM podcast. Right into the mailbag. We All Hate Movies at gmail.com. And check out our new subreddit on Reddits. We Hate Movies, all one word. Totally. That thing is

blowing up. There's a lot of awesome what do you call them? Threads. I guess so. I don't know. Chuds, it's the word. There's a lot of really solid chuds going on. Well, you know what you could do? You could go to our subreddit and tell us how to say things on Reddit. If you could go on to Reddit and tell us how to use Reddit, that would be really.

That would actually, it would really help us. Yeah, I got no idea what I'm going on there. Kind of over, you know, in over my head. Yeah, I'm drowning when I go on Reddit. It's just what it is. But it's a really great online community and there's been a lot of awesome outreach on there. So yeah, subreddit, we hate movies. Yeah, a few hundred subscribers already, so chat with them.

All right, so the Halloween spooktacular continues next week. A clue for next week's episode. Stephen Williams. Oh, shit. A man with a pretty beautiful mustache. It's also the main character in Chud 2 by the Chud. Oh, that's right. Don't worry.

We won't be talking about Chud 2 Bud the Chud next week. Maybe I'll bring it back a week after. I'll try to make some... You'll probably bring it back the week after. So next week, the clue is Stephen Williams when the spooktacular rolls on. And don't forget, catch us at the Jacob Burns Film Center. October 31st, 10 p.m., the marathon kicks off. We will be doing a live commentary at that theater.

Until next week, I'm Andrew Jupin. Steven Siddak. Eric Cisker. Just in case. Take it easy. Also the name of the main character, and chut budd each other fuck what the fuck was that

that's two fucking banquet beers that is that is