We Hate Movies - S5 Ep175: I Still Know What You Did Last Summer

Episode Date: October 21, 2014

Our #WHMSpooktacular2014 rolls on with the totally pointless teen horror snore-quel, I Still Know What You Did Last Summer! Why does Freddie insist on going to that terrifying clam bake? Who thought up this Jack Black character? And who was asking for all this obnoxious Mekhi Phifer sex talk? PLUS: Can we finally see someone painting a threat in blood? I Still Know What You Did Last Summer stars Jennifer Love Hewitt, Freddie Prinze, Jr., Brandy, Mekhi Phifer and Muse Watson; directed by Danny Cannon. And be sure to grab your marathon passes to the Jacob Burns Film Center's After Dark Halloween Marathon where we'll be performing live! A trip to Muldoon's may follow! Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

Hello, Mandra Jopin. Chris Cabin. Eric Cisker. And we hate movies. It is time to keep your appointment with the Wicca Man. They're coming to get you, Barbara. I sick fuck's using one too many movies. Now, Sid, don't you blame the movies?

Movies don't create psychos. Movies make psychos for creative! Put the fucking looser in the band! There's an excellent day for an exorcism. everyone. Welcome to the third week in our sequel-centric Halloween spooktacular. Hashtag W.HM. Spooktacular 2014, for those of you keeping track on Twitter. This week, oh my God. I still know what you did last summer from 1998, directed by Danny Cannon, who, as you may remember, listeners at home, directed the Sylvester Stallone Judge Dread.

So, you know, what kind of track record we're dealing with. So this is, of course, the sequel to 1997s. I know what you did last summer. And I mean, it's got to be the laziest title. Oh, yeah. In the history of cinema. Well, I'll get this out of the way right now because there's no reason to talk about it because I don't think any of us have seen it.

There's a third one. Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa. Okay, what is it called? Are you ready? Oh, yeah, I'm ready. I'll always know what you did last summer. Yeah, I bet. Oh, yeah.

Is Jennifer Love Hewitt in this? No, no, no, no. So is it like Jennifer Love Hewitt, Jr? It takes place in the state of Colorado. No, that makes no sense. Yeah. Why's the fishermen going there? Yeah, there's no fucking fish.

There's no like seafaring fishing industry, which is the whole point of that first movie. No hook. I mean, I kind of just wish that they would do a bunch of like sequels to this movie. And it just gets like, I recall. what you did last summer. I'm slowly forgetting what it was you exactly did last summer. I vaguely remember you doing something last summer.

I just kind of wanted to go that way. Rather than I still, like, it's just so bad. I still know that, wait, I have Alzheimer's. Yeah, but so I'll always know what you did last summer. If you read the trivia on it, apparently, Jay Love was supposed to film a cameo and it didn't happen. But I guess also, though, the original script, was supposed to be her

Freddie Prince and Moisha herself Brandy and Brandy is going to be back for this third movie and then they just They got none of them

Yeah none of them There's literally I mean was nothing She already doing ghost whispering Or whatever the fuck that show is Oh the ghost whisperer Was that her? That's Jennifer Love Hewitt

Oh I'm thinking a medium With Patty Arquette Oh I'm thinking of the client list Oh yeah Yeah, those are ghosts. Ghosts of married men. No, no, those are skeletons in closets. You're confusing ghosts with skeletons.

Oh. Yeah, no, I think it kind of came out. I mean, not like recently, but recently enough. Let me see if I can get a year on it. But, yeah, it's important for you. 2006, by the way. So, you know, 1998, the one we're talking about comes out. And then, yeah, yeah, yeah, 2006,

because everyone was just clamoring for it. We had to wait almost a decade before it came out. They rushed this shit out. Oh, yeah. Fucking one year to get, I mean, and it shows, don't get me wrong, it shows quite evidently. But, like, I am just shocked that, like, you're like, this is not so, A, I, I rewatched the first movie in anticipation of this. And I think you should say in preparation, because no one's anticipating, like, oh, I'm anticipating talking about. I still know what you did last year.

Well, I mean, I'll pull Steve Sadek here. We don't usually hate movies. I hate this movie. I really hate this movie. This movie bores me to tears. It bored me to tears in the theater when I saw it. Oh, shit. You saw this in theater?

I saw this right in the theater. Damn, dude. Yeah, that was a waste of time. That's fucked up. Yeah. Right? Right. Correct.

It's so bad. What did you think of the first one? The first one, I don't mind that much. It's still stupid and it's still bad. I agree with you there. I don't mind it nearly as much as this movie. It's totally fine. Like that first movie, it's,

totally fine. It's not good. I watched them both back to back, so they bled into each other a little bit. Uh-oh. Didn't you do this with something else? Probably. Like a while back. I fuck up. At the end, I'm pretty sure at the end of the first movie, they got a teaser

for, I still know. Yeah. But that scene doesn't take place in, I still. No, no, no. They never connect that again, because she's taking a shower in college. Yeah. And she gets a phone call in the shower like you do. And then she gets to run out or whatever.

She comes back and it's all steamy in the shower room. And there's someone had written, I still know. Yeah. And then the fisherman slasher breaks through the glass and tries to grab her. What is he a fucking Freddie Kruger? But it was like a CGI into credits. It was like the blackness of his slicker consumes the screen. But then that never actually, because that's him.

attacking them at college which does not take place in the city. Yeah, there's no attacking on the college campus. College is a safe zone. Yeah. In this movie. They were thinking about it, but then an administrator sat them down

and said, you know. Well, I'll tell you one. Do you want to stay here? No, no, no. They were like, oh yeah. So now this second I know movie is going to be set in college. And it's 1998. And someone fucking ratatatat tat on the screenwriter's door and was like a movie came out literally,

year called scream two and it takes place on a fucking college campus change it up a little that's that's it we're going to the bahamas it's over i love that it's like we can't use a college campus what do college kids do well we can't do that because it's summer yep for some reason it's taking place during summer school yeah i guess college and summer yeah and by the way i will say this doesn't work scream two versus i still know what you did last summer scream two comes out much more on top hands down by by a mile screen two is not like a good movie per se it has its moments this movie has no moments no this movie has negative four moments it does and the big thing is it misses the cast like you get rid of your two best actors that were in

that first one you get rid of shell and filippe oh right i'm philippe they got killed off they killed off and even like I would even fucking say Johnny Galecki is better than Who's Johnny Galecki in that first movie? In the first movie he plays a character named Max that's like working at the docks before Freddie Prince Jr. graduates to work at the docs. Oh, oh, oh, oh.

He's a guy that's like pined for Jay Hugh. He's really into Jay Hugh. Oh, yes, yes, yes. But she has to go out with that pretty boy, rich kid. But he also has the best and like they do this death three times. in this movie the through the hook through the chin like underneath the chin a fish hook

through a chin much like a fish wouldn't you say well that's going hookin dude how about that for a tagline right it's like this summer he's going hookin jonathan galecky's going hookin it's just it's the it's the fisherman and he's like he's like lifting his coat a little bit he's shown a little leg on the side of the road it's kind of just the poster for frank and hooker but he's wearing a slicker. Yeah, we got that mad killer. We got him soliciting. He was soliciting Johns.

I'm not going to say the number and you're not going to believe me. 13 counts. 13 counts soliciting one night. That guy fucked 13 dudes. 13 dudes. One night. One night. 13 dudes.

And then yet he only kills like four people in that first movie. So, okay. So we start out this movie with audio from the first movie. Yeah. Including a line that's like kind of repeated almost verbatim in this movie where she's like, I'm right here. What are you waiting for? What are you waiting for?

She fucking says the same thing in this movie. And she does the same exact like physical motion. She like spins around with her arms out. Dude, it's like Julie Andrews in the fucking sound of music, dude. The hills are alive. The kills are alive. The kills are alive. Oh, Chris Cameron.

What a word smith. I can't believe they repeated that. Why would you repeat? It's not like it's a catchphrase. It's not like, you know, here's Freddie or, you know, anything like that. And also there's not a lot of places to hide on the, but when we get to the Bahamas, I mean, it's just one hotel. And like, you're talking about an entire town in goddamn, in the first one. Right.

That's what's amazing about this is they're like, we're going to the Bahamas. And it's this one tiny island in the Bahamas that's probably totally fake. And the only thing on this island is this one resort. So it's not like an island where other people live. There's businesses outside of this resort. Or there's a police. A police. So I really got to address exactly how this movie opens.

We open on a shot of Jesus. No, Mary. And then it pans down to Jesus. It wounded from all the Roman torture. Yeah. It is the mopiest-looking Virgin Mary statue. It's like, oh, my poor Jesus. like it looks it looks ridiculous i wrote mopiest virgin mary it's droopy dog is mary oh boy my poor

jesus got crucified you're just like get a better looking fucking statue so we're in this church oh my god are we ever it's clearly a fake like dream oh yeah it's a dream sequence right away she goes into confession right and she's just like i i want to confess that i killed him man and the priest is like Oh my God. That sounds sexy. And then it turns out it's it's the man she killed. The fisherman.

It's Ben, Ben Willis. Ben Willis. What exactly do we call this fellow? Because there's a Jason and Freddie. I'm not going to call him Ben Willis every time. I just call him the fisherman. The fisherman? I think people call him the hookhand. Hookhand is the legend that they talk about at the beginning of the

first one. I remember when they're on the beach. Oh, so that's what Ben Willis has taken Ben Wilson is taken. I think, I just think, I just call him the fisherman. Can we call him the hooker? We can call him the hooker. Yeah, I'm fine with that. For comedic purposes, we can, we dub him the hooker. That's nothing against sex workers at all. I know we've already joked about that a little bit, but I mean, there's been many fine people named hooker. For instance, John Lee Hooker? Well, I was going to say T.J. Oh, T.J. Hooker. I mean, my idol. Well, the other side to that statement, by the way, is that we have no problem with sex. worker. I mean, it should not be against the law. Well, you know, do what you got to do. Exactly. Everybody's got to make some fucking bread. I'm fine. I'm calling him. So she's confessing

to the hooker. And the hooker is like, yeah, I know that you killed me. And then it punches the thing and she wakes up. In the middle of this class and this professor is hooting and hollering. Oh, this guy does not have time for it. Oh, my gosh. It's just like, oh, I didn't know you were that excited

about the history of whatever. And you're just this guy's blown a gasket. it. He's actually he says it like that, but you could tell he's flippin' mad. He's pissed. Oh, he's pissed, but like, he's got to keep his composure because he's a political science professor. But it made me think immediately

to the Colonel Sanders professor in Waterboy. Like, you don't know nothing. He's just, like, joking, like, she's obviously gone through trauma. She's, like, waking up in the middle of a nightmare in the middle of her class man. This guy doesn't give a flying fuck. Also,

you're totally just stealing this from the first nightmare in Elm Street. Heather Langenkamp wakes up in the classroom screaming. But also, poor Jennifer Love, right? Because like, you can't come back to that class. If I did something like that, I would never. I dropped the class. Really? Why is she there? It's humiliating. I don't know why she's there in the first place. It seems like it's the, this must be the end of the semester. So they're all in summer school. They're about to celebrate the July 4th weekend. Why this had to happen? Why are they leaving school to go on a vacation? I think you should put your studies first.

It's a year out, like, here's my issue. It's a year out from two of your best friends getting butchered. You yourself, almost getting butchered several times. Why not take a fucking year off? Maybe you want to go to the hospital? Or maybe you go to a college far away enough that you're not going to run into fucking Freddie Prince Jr. Yeah, far. Yeah, you're totally right. Far enough that your shitty high school

boyfriend can't fucking drive there a day. Can't just find you. Just fucking find you. I wonder what Julie's doing. I've been packing fish all day. I can't wait to drive and see Julie. John Hawks has just given me all the ice I will ever need. Oh, man, John Hawks. A pre-fame John Hawks.

For no reason. Just like, just my kid. For no reason to start his career. I mean, that's, that's true everybody's got to earn a living. I think he'd been in stuff before this, though. A paycheck. But I'm saying this is pre, me and you and everyone we know. Well, that's the movie that made John Hawks, John Hawks.

And then, you know, uh, Winner's Bone was the Oscar nomination. He's popular with hundreds of people. Hundreds upon hundreds. So she goes home, and before she can get into her apartment building, she's harassed by Freddie Prince Jr. And he's like, well, come on, you got to come home for Fourth of July. There's going to be a clam bank.

And she's like, I'm not comfortable being in my hometown. Remember the murders nine months ago? What you talk about? A year ago today. Oh, is that? he comes on the anniversary of the death of her best friend last time i saw her she's being eaten by crabs in a tub of ice oh that's right what happened to her she got eaten by crabs devoured by crows you know this is why you don't tangle with a hooker is you might get eaten by crabs he will put you with the crabs yeah any hooker

will put you right with the cabs we'll put you with the crats i just love this though because he doesn't get it he's like but but the clam steam and she's like i'm Not going back to Murderville for a clam steed. Oh, but Rod! Never mind that. No, that was on point. That's exactly what he sounds like. Rory, he's making a logger.

Like, I mean, it's like shit like that. It's like, come home. And she's just like, it's nothing against you. It's nothing against the people. I don't want to be in that town. You know what? Find me another July 4th clam steam. And we'll go to that one.

Maybe around here somewhere. And he's like, but, but the clam! You're just like, dude. fuck up, man. You could not. And then, and then he has the audacity to get pissed off at her and be like, oh, it's just because you don't want to see me. Oh, I get it. And like, he walks right through like a street football game, which is hilarious. Listen, Julie James is too good for you, pal. Yeah, first of all. You're a, you're a Southport townie and you should take a hike, man. This girl's in college. She's going places. Well, you know where you're going? The fucking clam bake. That's it. You're going out to see, my friend. And he's not even going. As John, Hawks tells us the fucking, you know, there hasn't been any fish, there haven't been

fishing days. Yeah, fish ain't biting. He's a bad fisherman. He's a bad boyfriend. He's bad at everything. He badly covers up a murder in the first movie. I mean, but that's the thing. It's like, man, haven't you learned to be a little bit sensitive about this material, man? Like, nope. The clamsstein.

The clams? Really, are they that good? Like, I understand. Jennifer's bringing her, you know, world famous butter dip. No, but that's the thing. It might, it might actually be that good. It might be really good. No, it's not, man. It might be I mean, it might be good. To relive

a trauma of this size, it's not that good. So one of my favorite parts of this movie, she tells him off, he gets pissed off and leaves, she goes up to her apartment, draws the shades, grabs a bottle of soda, a bag of potato chips, and then just pulls the covers over

her head. Not eating these two things, just taking a nap with snack. She might be eating them under the blanket, We don't know. Talking a flashlight and a Nancy Drew mystery under there. It's just like, look out for ruffles. It's just like as bright as day, some ruffles wavy potato chips. Those were all their age in 98.

I remember it very well. I had a few snack forts in my day. Oh, of course. I mean, we all did. I mean, I was a rolled gold person myself. Oh, yeah. You got to love those pretzels. Wow.

So she has a best friend in Brandy. I don't know her name in the. movie it's just brandy it's just brandy brandy norwood oh it's carla i think carla yes it is car let's just say and i mean she's the most obnoxious character dude no she's not more obnoxious than fucking mackay fifer in this movie well they're a pair and they like i think they do it's a work for them like they're a good pair because they do just as much obnoxious shit on their own oh yeah you know oh yeah the whole cast of the movie is obnoxious in their own ways let's not you know You know who's not obnoxious?

The dude who plays the hooker. Right. That guy gets in this movie. He does his job. He does it well. And Reanimator does a pretty good sonny manager. Right. Jeffrey Combs playing the snooty concierge.

Yeah, he's good. I mean, that dude's just a great actor. He was great in the Frighteners, man. Oh, yeah. As Special Agent Milton Dambers. Oh, wow. Good memory. I think that's his name.

That sounds about right. Yeah, that sounds right. Oh, it was great. That isn't from beyond. Oh, from Beyond's great. He's the best part of the more or less lackluster, would you rather, that came out a couple years ago. It's like, it's fine, but he's definitely the best part of that movie. It's him, and then who else is good in that movie is the guy who's now playing The Penguin on Gotham?

Oh, like, he plays his, like, shitty, sniveling son who's, like, really twisted. That makes sense. They look similar. Yeah. You know who else is not obnoxious is Mr. Boone Jr. Oh, yeah. Oh, Mark Boone Jr. Because he's in it for eight seconds.

Eight seconds. And speaking of momentum, I mean, he's playing kind of the same character. I mean, it's always Mark Boon Jr. I mean, he's always Mark Boon Jr. only play as Mark Boon Jr. A sleazy guy doing this or a sleazy guy doing that? And it's just great, though. He's great.

It's top match. I love him in Batman Begins. He's like, uh, but kids don't like falafel. Oh, God. It's so scuzzy. It's awesome. So, so. The reason Brandy and

Mackay are both obnoxious shits in this movie is because there's this, so J. LoHugh is not really into Freddie right now. She's kind of pissed at him. Well, you know, Brandy's introduction is something worth

mentioning is because Jennifer Love You at Julie is wondering her house because she thinks that she's going to be murdered because there's all this clattering in the night. So much of this movie is her searching rooms in hallways because she hears noises. Yep. So she gets into

her closet with holding a knife like a butcher knife and it's it's Brandy trying to borrow a dress to go to the club. Yep. Yeah. You know, you're going to get murdered over clothes. How about not breaking into your friend's apartment and stealing shit? Yeah, who the fuck are you? Like what the fuck is going on here?

Brandy thought she went to the clam bake. I didn't think you'd need the dress. I thought you were eating clams this weekend. Who eats clams in a dress? I do, Carla. You've obviously never been to the Southport clam bake. It's quite fancy. You know, it's, I'm just saying it might be really good.

And you're going to take my little umbrella too. Yeah, I need to twirl that at the, at the clam bake. It's part clam bake, part cotillion, okay? Just get ready. No, what's happening here? So, next morning, Brandy receives a phone call from a radio station, and it's like, you could win a trip to the Bahamas if you answer the following trivia question. And I guess that's the thing, like, we're right on the cusp of using Google all the time.

So since we're not, you could still do these kinds of radio contests, I guess. Right. And it's just like for a free fucking weekend for four in the Bahamas, what is the capital of Brazil? And Jennifer Love Hew, it pulls out a bag of coffee and is like, Rio de Janeiro. And supposedly that is true. And they win the trip. win the fucking trip but it is not true

well it's not true that's what like anybody who does anything you're just like Brazilia is the capital of Brazil yeah that was my first thought is because like I mean

when I saw this I was a dumb idiot and like I'm a I'm getting better at being an idiot now when you saw this last night yes

that's when you were an idiot within the last 24 hours he's getting smarter I've just you know made it over that hill. Well, I think the further you get away from watching this movie, your brain cells do start to, like, grow back a little, maybe. It's kind of like The Walking Dead, like, the red stuff just starts coming up in your brain.

So, yeah, so they're like, oh, we just won this trip for four. And she's like, great, I could bring Freddie Prince Jr. And she's, you know what? Really, they can blame this entire trip on Rio. Blame it on Rio. Bravo. For maximum enjoyment with that joke, see our episode on Blame It on Rio. that is something

and she's like Brandy's like um how about no because he sucks why don't you bring your new boyfriend will and it's just like again

shoving this guy down her throat well the fucking best part is Freddy Prince is like she calls on Freddie Prince and she's like well you know

I got this trip to the Bahamas why don't you come we'll lay on the sun and I'll fuck you the whole time that's exactly what she says to him oh yeah no it's she goes it's something like yeah yeah yeah

Yeah, she's like, we could do this, we could do that, and then maybe a little, which, by the way, and, you know, I understand Freddie Prince has to have stuff explained to him. Really spelled out for him. Like, that means she wants to fuck you the whole time. And his whole thing is like, well, you said no to the clam bake. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. So you don't want to go to the clam bake.

No difference. This fucking clam bake. You don't want to go to the clan bake, but you're going to go to the Bahamas. For free. You don't want to, you don't want to taste the. the clams that I picked out of the ocean special because it's my job to pick them out. I love it. I fucking love this.

He's like, you can't go to this clam bake, but you're going to take this delicious free tropical weekend. And he's so insulted. And then you're like, dude, get the net. She doesn't want to go to this town. Like, what is the problem? Horoville, Horeville, USA. She doesn't want to go back to Horoville. You call it Southport because it's where you fucking work.

But it's Horareville USA for her. Come on, Julie. After the clam bake, we could go, we could go, I don't know, neck in the abandoned amusement park. We can make out on Ryan Phillip Bay's fucking grave, for all I care. Yeah, exactly. After the clam bake, when we're all filled to our belly brims with clams, we can go to the cemetery and visit our dead friends. Doesn't that sound like a great Fourth of July? How about this, Julie? We'll bring some little Roman candles with us to the cemetery. And the four of us, that's right, me, you, and two. two tombstones can light off fireworks on the 4th of July.

Oh, and don't forget the spirit of mopey Virgin Mary. Oh, poor Jesus. Couldn't come to the clam bake. So, I mean, so they get this fucking thing, and apparently, like, you don't have to sign any contracts. You don't have to fucking, you know, talk to the hotel first. No, nothing. You don't have to do anything. You just have to pick up these tickets and you go there.

Well, you know what? this is one of those movie things we call logistics out the window because it's like one second we're fighting in a college apartment the next second we're just in the Bahamas like that's no hey hold on a second I'm going to put you on the line with my producer nope they're going to get you to fucking do this thing in the ad thing we got a little Freddie Prince Jr. storyline happening here because he now talks to John Hawks and he decides he's going to try to go because John Hawks is not a moron. yeah John Hawks is like So you know you're an idiot right You know what you just passed up He's like I only listen to your side Of the telephone conversation And I know that you just passed down

A weekend full of Bahamas sex Yeah I only heard half of this But it was more than enough to know That you're an idiot But then what I don't get is he's like All right so I'll drive to the college with you So like him and John Hawks are on the road But he also shows him

an engagement ring he's going to he was going to propose at the clam bake I guess what the fuck she doesn't even want to she doesn't want to really be with you it's sort of like a weird sympathy between victims of murder or something exactly and this is what we were talking about last week with Jason goes to hell the idea of like

if if if the girl stays with earthworm gym like every day is a reminder of the fucking horrendous tragedy you went through Like, and this is the same thing. Like, if Julie stays with Freddie Prince's character, like, it's just waking up every day, like, ah, remember that time we fought a fucking murderer? Ah, and our friends and family were butchered. Oh, that's great.

You know what? The kids better get up. They're going to be late for school. Maybe I'll get 10 minutes today when I'm not reminded of the heinous murders. Trust me, Freddy. She's just waiting for a better candidate. Like, this is just, isn't that? She's fine for this now, but if this will guy had any fucking character.

Oh, yeah. She would be out of here already. Yep. But as it stands, he is whiter than a loose-leaf sheet of paper. Yeah. So default is just fine for now. But I love that. It's like we're on horrible terms.

I never see her. I know what'll fix this. Let's get married. We're like 20 years old. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Also that, by the way. We can't even drink legally.

But hey, fuck it. Let's get married. And the last three conversations, you've had have been horrendous arguments. Two of them, we were in person and I stormed off in front of you. But no, the rest of my life. So we're in the Bahamas. Hey, isn't that great

everybody? We're in the Bahamas. Finally, I guess. They tagged this fucking will along with them. I mean, that's the most awkward part. Like, right before they leave, it's like they're sitting on the curb, like her and Brandy. Because Freddie Prince Jr. didn't make the flight because he was going to surprise her and get

there. But, yeah, John, John Hawks gets hooked. Oh, right. I totally forgot about that. A horrendous murder happened. After John Hawks' rendition of, here I go again on my own, which is, I mean, tear-inducing. It's honestly the best part of this film. Yep. It totally is. Just a couple of buds. The open

road, the night sky above them, singing White Snake, and then John Hawks gets murdered. Right, because they spot a body on the road. It's like, sound familiar. It's happening again. The hookinging. The hookinging.

So it turns out to be a manacan John Hawks gets again with this goddamn, it's a mouth hook, isn't it? It's through the chin, the bottom of the chin up into the mouth and drag down to the car. Because he's the fisherman. Yeah, he's hooked up. I just watch both of these movies and I just put it together.

Well, you just put it together that's why he has a hook? He's a fisherman? No, I knew that. But the mouth thing, I just thought like, oh, he's just being efficient. He's just being efficient. He's just being efficient with his kids. But then I'm like, oh, like a fish. I just thought to myself right now.

Yeah. No, I mean, they're fish to him. He's catching teenagers. Well, welcome to the party, pal. So, yeah, so Freddie Prince doesn't make it because of this hilarious thing. He winds up, like, falling down a huge hill and, you know, escaping, but, you know, he doesn't make the flight. He doesn't surprise her. Mackay Fyfer pulls up and he's like, I got a surprise. It's this bland piece of shit.

He's coming with us. Which, here's the thing. and I have to bring it up now even though it involves the end of the movie but fine right there's two killers in this movie

it's the original dude who survived because they never found his body and his son which is Will yes whoopty fuck who cares but if for some reason the dad had screwed up

oh and by the way the whole thing is this whole Bahamas thing is fake Will and the dad organized the entire thing the dad used to work at the resort blah blah blah was the radio guy. They have the money for this. Yeah, this is insane.

It's like all of like the family money like they like sold the house or something like how are they they sold the boat. Well it's like it's like how Doc Brown funded the DeLorean like he sold off his estate and all his land sold all his possession

so you get the money to fund the time machine I think this guy is like we'll sell the house, sell all the cars to fund this serial kid and then I'll be destitute and I won't have anywhere to go. Yeah, so I could murder some people in the Bahamas for a few days. Well, that's why Jason's way more practical. You know what?

How much a machete cost? Total tops 50 bucks. Yeah. And odds are he's stealing one anyway. No, I mean, he's picking up what he's got. I mean, he's Resident Eviling. Like, he's picking up the new toys every time. He's resident eviling?

Yeah. So does that mean he'd pick up new? And he's fighting a zombie apocalypse as well. Well, Jason wouldn't be able to do all those puzzles. No, probably wouldn't be able to figure out. Yeah, he's not getting past. the right. Once Jason gets to the library, the game is over.

Yeah, he won't know which updike volume the fucking keys in or whatever the fuck goes on in that game. But my whole point is so that's this elaborate, very expensive scheme, right? What happens if the dad failed? Doesn't

you know, fuck with Freddie Prince. What if Freddy Prince and John Hawks were like, oh, there's a body and Freddie Prince was like, you know what? I kind of got into some trouble last year. Better just keep going. Yeah. They drive by this whole scheme. Totally unscathed. He gets there on time. Then Will, who's scheming to come on the vacation, is like, ah, here he is, huh? Well, there's not five tickets to the Bahamas. There's only four, and you're the boyfriend. Well, I guess the whole plan's fucked. Well, I mean, I imagine

they would just then make up like, oh my God, there was two winners. Like, they did one in the beginning of the day and one at the end of the day. Maybe. I mean, it's such horse shit to begin with. I mean, the fisherman is both supposedly immortal. Yeah. And clearly an immortal. Yeah. Like, it's so ridiculous that they never make up the stakes of this. They never, like, really set you as to who the fucking hooker is. No, it's all just, well, you hit me with your car. Yeah. Which, yeah,

sure. You have every right to be upset about this. Yes. Take the court. That's fine. You don't fucking set out on like crippling your entire family financially to get some blood on your hands like really man this is a lot so we go to the bahamas we're there and it turns out it's like the day before hurricane season starts like oh oh this is why they were giving it away yeah by the way um yes this just off the internet ticker uh will who turns out to be one of the killers yeah his last name is ben's son as in Ben's son.

Oh, yeah, which they totally, he explains in the movie. That is so fucking stupid. Isn't that just the stupidest thing you've ever heard? It might just be the stupidest thing I've ever heard. It's really stupid because when he explains it, like, he's like, Ben's son. Get it? Ben's son. Like, I get it, man.

And she's just like, can we get back to you trying to kill me? I'm, you know, I got it the first time. I don't need your fucking Sesame Street level explanation. Thanks, Will. Shit. So, yeah, so we're introduced to our little cast of characters. It's conveniently the off-season, which also means, like, we can have this huge resort to ourselves and only have, like, less than 10 characters in the movie. Yeah.

So it's... And not see one of them really get murdered, actually. No, a lot of off-screen killing in this movie. You got, like, a housekeeper who's kind of unnamed. You got Jennifer Esposito, who's the bartender. Yeah. You got the aforementioned Jeffrey Combs, who's the concierge. You got Jack Black as a groundskeeper slash like activities guy.

Oh, activities, hey? I mean, that's what we're calling it. He just loves smoking weed and hanging out. And selling it too. Yeah, he does, he does grow on the property. He also has dreadlocks. He also has dreadlocks. He also has a fucking, like, the really cheap ray bands that, like, go around your head.

And you have to have, like, the shit. shiny yellow green outside. Yeah, it's like the lenses in the sunglasses that Brett the hitman hard always had. I hate those fucking sunglasses. Yeah, so he's just looking like a big idiot in this movie. Although he's kind of the most entertaining part of the movie. Because he's kind of just always like popping up at inopportune times. Like when Brandy and Mackay Fyfer are trying to have sex in a hot tub.

And he's like, hey guys, what's going on? Actually, I said the snack for it was my favorite part of this movie. My favorite part of this movie is when he comes up from underwater in the pool with a spliff in his mouth and lights it on a candle and starts smoking it. I give him and Jeffrey Combs the most credit in this movie because they're the two that get the joke. And they're having a lot of fun and they're exactly what this movie should be. And then you go towards, you know, the main characters and they're all fucking, you know, stone-faced boredom houses. You also have Bill Cobbs in this movie. As, as, like, I guess he's another...

Estes. Estes, like, the caretaker. And the voodoo man. Yeah, of course he's practicing voodoo, which is like, well, Jesus. Well, just checking off cliches here. Yeah. So, yeah, Jack Black tries to sell him weed. Doesn't work out. They check in.

Jeffrey Combs is very rude to them. It's kind of funny. He has, like, nothing but distaste for these people, which is pretty great. Although, here's something I was noticing about this character. And let me see if you guys notice. too. Like, yeah, he's a rude guy, but he's really rude to Brandy and Mackay Fyfer. Oh, yeah. He's not as rude to Jennifer Love, Hughitt, and Will Ben's son.

What are you getting at? I'm getting at, Eric, that he's ruder to the African-American clientele than he is to the fucking white clientele. A little snippier. Little snippier, little, like, I don't want you here. Or sometimes just outright, like, your comment does not warrant me answering him. Yeah, he's like incredibly rude to Mackay Fyfer. He's basically like, well, you're a fucking moron

welcome to this hotel. Oh, right this way, Jennifer Love Hewitt. Please eat shit on your way out. Like, it's just like it's so bad. You know, if they were like, you know, maybe if they were paying customers not contest winners, because he knows about the contest, which is weird to

begin with. Yeah, he's like, oh right, the contest. And again, you have to like call the hotel. There has to be a whole fucking like thing. Right. you're like, I had this marketing thing that I have to do for my fucking radio station. You don't just call up and be like, hey, four people are going to show up

they want a contest. When four kids show up to your front desk, just give them two rooms. No, it would be fine. Don't worry about it. Here's your money. I'll send a check, signed Will Ben's son. And yeah, I run the radio.

Will Ben's, oh, shit. Actually, the B and the E are silent. it's ninson. How many movies have the entire plot hinging on a prank phone call? Shirky boys and this? Yeah, the jerky boys.

Scream the jerky boys movie and this. I think that's about it. Yeah. If I'm going to, yeah, I'm pretty sure. Well, there you go, listeners at home. The trifecta. That's the hat trick. That's your marathon. You can do a marathon of that. Maybe that's a series of program.

Prank phone call catalysts. Perfect. Two pretty good horror movies. and jerky boys. So they get like the honeymoon sweets and again the fucking awkwardness because Mackay Fyfer is just like all right, let's get down to some fucking

and then Jennifer Love Hewitt's like but Brandy I don't know this guy and then Will's just like oh well geez Julie of course I'll sleep on the sofa and he's just being like I mean I think the whole thing is looking back on it Like, he's acting this way so he can act as less like a serial killer as possible. Well, I just think it was, like, it's weird because you can't really tell how far this guy is willing to take it.

Because, like, it's not like he's putting on the charm. Because as we'll find out, when we find out he's the killer, he can clearly be a little bit more, a bit of a bad boy. So, like, he seems to be, like, shooting just like, she's going to like me, but she's not going to want to fuck me. like but and this is what straight down the middle but this is what stupid though is like because he's kind of laying on some romantic things yeah like there's the big scene where she's tensely opening the envelope yeah and it creepily just says surprise exclamation mark and he she turns around and he's there with like a bottle of champagne and two glasses and she screams in his face but like that's something that had she not been scared like one thing may have led to another and they may have slept together the reason scream is a way better movie than this is because in Scream, the villain, who knows he's the villain, the whole time, the Skeed-Dolrick, has sex with Neve Campbell, which then when it's revealed that he's the killer, it's even worse because she's like, my God, I fucked a serial killer.

In the hospital for the rest of your, in reality, in the mental hospital for the rest of your life. I fucked the guy that killed my mom. Oh. You know, and like that has some weight to it. I just got it. Right now, I just finally. but scream together.

Almost 20 years later, it clicked. But in this movie, when he's like, by the way, I'm the serial killer, she's like, oh, I'm glad I didn't have sex with that guy. That would have been damaging. Well, thanks a lot, movie. Well, I mean, my favorite, I mean, so Brandy is, clearly Brandy and Jehu have been talking about this beforehand. And she's like, she gives them the look when they're like going into the room.

She's like, I thought we were going to stay together. Yeah, we've discussed this. Do I really need to sleep with this hattuck? This broiled headache. Like, I really, are you fucking serious? It's like, I promised him. Sorry, you're just going to have to fuck this guy. Instead, nobody does any fucking two nights. Nobody does any fucking because, you know, Julie's getting ready for bed, a fuckless bed, mind you.

And then she's, oh, what's that noise? again she has to search the she has to search the honey the sweets the suite they're in for a potential boogearman yeah every nook and cranny of this this honeymoon suite has to be covered twice

and what does she find in the closet the uh the boat worker oh right yeah i mean it happens pretty quick yeah i mean that happens pretty quick yeah it happens pretty soon because the body vanishes and they get Jeffrey Combs

and everyone to come up there and it's nothing. So, like, the hooker comes on the island. Correct. That night, that night when they're checking in, the hooker comes on the island, and the porter is the first guy who gets killed. Right.

He doesn't get, he doesn't get through the neck. He gets, like, a side swipe, like, through the head, I think. Yeah, he kind of just gets dropped. It's after Jack Black, like, tries to get him to go to the mainland to some party, and he's like, yeah, but a hurricane's coming, And he's like, well, you're no fun. And, like, just stomps away.

Also, this guy's hilariously doing, like, a fake island accent for the tourists. Like, he's like, oh, welcome to the Bahamas and everything. And then he's like, huh, these people, it sure is hard to make money here. Kind of a good gag. Trying to finish his Ph.D. Oh, hey, man. Putting myself through college. Yeah, so, like, he shoes Jack Black away, and then this dude gets murdered.

So, like, minutes later. In a decidingly un-fisherman-esque way. Well, I feel like sometimes he just has to take the opportunity, like, to just kill somebody. Right. I can't be fucking around trying to fish kill everybody. I appreciate that, actually. Because not long ago, I didn't even realize there were fish kills. Well, I mean, this is my problem.

It makes sense. My major problem with this series in general is that the kills are all the same, essentially. Yeah. There's not a lot of... He's just using this hook hand. Yeah, you're just getting hooked no matter what. And, like, scream even. Like, scream is just a guy in a...

It's majorly just a guy in a ghost mask and a butcher knife. Right. But Rose McGowan gets crushed. That impractical garage door killing is the best. It makes no sense, but, like, at least they're thinking. They're thinking on their feet. I enjoy that at least. Yes.

Yes, of course. This is just all hooks. It's all hooks. Do you think one of the, like, rejected ad campaigns for like both of these movies or either of them was like this summer you'll get hooked I still know what you did last summer on Jay Hughes Cleavage

can we just talk about this for a second yeah let's stop everything put the brakes on because these are characters in the movie yeah this this movie and the first one these movies have a couple of problems

like all this movie does is like can you see them can you see them can you Did everybody sit at him? Get a good look. All right. We're moving on, everybody. In five, four, you better look now.

Like, the camera lingers on her body. You're going to have to wait a whole five more minutes before you see him again. It's fucking creepy. It lingers like the voyeur's eye, giving us a sense of terror and dread. It's, it's, it's arts. I mean, Laura Mulvey would definitely be vomiting in the theater. I would love to see that. She's just vomiting.

So, Laura, what did you think of I still did last summer? Oh, that's great, Laura. Thanks for coming on We Hate Movies. You're welcome. Feminist, Laura Molley, everybody. That was nice. So he's nice to have her on the show.

She's a legend. She is a legend. But it's just, it's so fucking ridiculous. It's like, and it's anything, too, right? It's her getting out of bed. It's her, like, putting luggage down. It's her opening a can of soup. Like, they make a very distinct.

I mean, we're not there yet, but the tanning bed scene was clearly like, holy, we have Jennifer Love Hewitt here. We haven't had a bikini scene yet. I know. Let's get into it right now. It's raining on a tropical resort, so no one is swimming. There's nary a bikini to be found. Oh, thank God, this tanning bed has a roof over it.

Yeah, precisely. It's so insane. But so, yeah, so back to the porter. His body drops down. Oh, there's a dead body. Of course, no one else is in the room because everyone else is down doing karaoke. and she freaks out they all run up he's cleaned up the body cleaned up all the blood and now it's she's crazy a lot of this movie is us playing she's crazy yeah right and and the

thing that sucks too is like yes we saw the porter get killed but he got killed way off on the docks and she's seeing like bodies drop from ceilings and things like that and we've already seen her like kind of maybe hallucinating already like we had the church dream so it's like the movie very poorly tries to set up like well maybe it's not real and you're like yeah i saw the first movie it's real yeah i i'm not coming here fresh yeah this is not my first tango with this no no no i know what chris cabin paid a ticket for it chris cabin knows what you did last summer i'm very aware of what you did in this franchise last summer and then the summer before that too because that's when the actual first hit and run not hit and run hit and dump

Hit and ditch, hit and ditch into the ocean. Which, by the way, my least favorite thing about that first movie is that Ryan, I guess it's because it's evidence. But the fact that Ryan Filippe dives into the ocean because the fisherman took her crown. Oh, right. Well, because it's like it could connect them to them. Yeah, I mean, that's what I guess it is. But like, she screams, my crown. No, you let the chagio go.

But posterity. No, no, no, no, no, no, oh, shut up. But again, though, like, severing any ties to that night, it's like, why would you want to hang on to that? Remember that time you won Parade Queen and then, oh, yeah, we killed that guy? Yeah, and that was way back in high school and you're still upset. Well, she's dead now, but if you were, if you were, like, come on, it's beauty contests. Are we really, really caring about this? Listen, dude, people have hung on to less for grim death.

Yeah, well. Or like Grimda. Al Bundy. Al Bundy syndrome. Lest we forget, Al Bundy syndrome. That fucking football game, man. But anyway, so Jack Black is about to get murdered. We're just, and the thing is, when they start killing people in this movie, like, they really amp it up. So it's like the porter gets it.

Then, like, this housekeeper hilariously gets murdered because apparently the hooker has rented out a room in the hotel. Because he's got, like, his own room. And she's not going on the door. He booked the entire hotel. I mean, he probably... He had to do this months and months in advance. I mean, he definitely sold off his boat for this. Oh, yeah.

That's what he did in the winter. And he's just like, oh, I can't wait for summer. Oh, better make those reservations. Do you think that's why he did it in the off season? Because it's cheaper. Yeah. He's like, well, I have to rent this hotel out, like the whole thing. Wasn't the off season?

It's summer, right? But it's just all the storm is hitting. It's hurricane season. So that's their off season. Okay, gotcha. Yeah. Because, like, no one's going to come there. So this is late summer.

No, July 4th. It's July 4th. It's just, I mean, I'm trying to make logic of where exactly this fucking place is in the Bahamas. Bermuda Triangle, man. Yeah, probably. Definitely Bermuda Triangle. Nessie would probably be out there as well. All types of shit, man.

And the megaladon, the whole fucking batch. Fucking saucers and everything. Amelia Earhart. She's there. She's running this hotel. She's riding the Megalodon. The movie Amelia? Yeah, that's where that movie was.

If that movie was that movie, I would be so happy. But that movie isn't that movie, so I'm not happy with that movie. I kind of like to pretend that the end of that, because the end of that movie, and of course we're talking about Amelia, the Hillary Swank film. Mirrenair. Didn't Mirrenairner? Mirrenair did direct that. The end of it is her, like she takes off on the journey and you just kind of see like a bunch of clouds.

Like here's the actual like extended end. of that movie right it's like it's just the clouds and then when you think it's going to go to credits the clouds actually start thinning out a bit and the plane starts landing whoa and she lands on like a gigantic futuristic aircraft carrier shut the fuck up right you're fucking with me right now and then no dude and then she gets out of the plane and she gets off and it's her and her like navigator like that little like wormy dude that she was with you know and then she shakes hands with gleap glop there's just some gleap glop and aliens and they're like shut the fuck they're like they're like they're Like, welcome to the Bermuda Triangle.

Here, you'll never get sick. You'll never get old and you'll never die. And here's your Gundam suit. Yeah, and here's your Gundam suit. Because if you're going to go out in these waters, you're going to want to do it in a Gundam suit. Trust me. If there's a big whole bunch of kajou at the Bermuda Triangle. Holy fuck, that sounds amazing.

So that it's just Amelia Earhart is in a fucking Yeager's suit. All right. It's going to fight monsters. After this episode comes out, that movie's going to go to, number one on Amazon. Good luck. Three hours later. Oh, man.

So back to a less entertaining movie than fucking Guyjin fighting fucking Amelia Arrowhart, which is awesome. Yeah. And probably did happen in real life. It probably, yeah, no, she's still alive. She's still fighting fucking Guy Jues, man. Don't worry about it. Fighting a good fight.

Yeah. So we kill the hotel. The Pater and the maid. And then so there's Jack Black. and he's smoking weed in his little, like, apartment that he has on this resort property. It's in the toolshed. He, like, works the, like, makes sure of the pools, what may maintain and stuff. He's like, he takes care of the grounds, yes, and the plants and such.

And he's got a little bit of a grow going on. Oh, by the way, the plants. He's got a beautiful little farm. Don't worry about it. The most dialogue he gives is towards this fucking plant of marijuana. And also, it's the only time where he, like, talks like not a moron which is kind of funny like when he talks

to everybody else like he's trying to like talk here hey man what's it going on to those stupid college kids right yeah exactly like he's he's just like broing out with Will and Mackay Fifer and everything

but when he gets he's talking to the fucking weed plans and he's just like well hey there my little darlings how's everybody coming along today it's the the marijuana plants are the only ones that truly know him. They're most empathetic characters

I'd say in the movie. Oh, yes. By the way, here's how you also make this movie better. Like, he's like smoking a Jay, right? And he's talking to the plants and he's like, well, I certainly hope you had a great day today, ladies. And then someone goes, smoke me, Titus. Because his name is Titus, by the way.

But if the marijuana plant started talking like the little shopperhoras, like that's pretty great, right? You just got to smoke me. That'd be amazing. And it turns into like a instead of a swamp thing, like a marijuana thing versus hooker? Dude, a marijuana swamp thing.

It's just the laziest nature superhero. Right. You know what, I'll, uh, I'll get to that tomorrow. I'll avenge that pond later in the week. I mean, Homeland's starting. Could you miss me? Are these lights correct? You know, uh, they have to be very particular.

They can't just be any light. I know as a plant being living in this swamp, I really should be upset about all this litter, but you want to keep throwing snack food down here. I'm totally fine with it. These discarded ruffles are fantastic. I mean, as long as I get some soil every day, I could also eat pizza. Do you think it's feasible for me to get Hulu out here in the swamp? That's one thing I'd like to look into. I know, I know. I will avenge my forest and fight those land developers maybe later in the week. No, you won't. I mean, how many episodes of Brooklyn Nine-Nine do I have to miss? You know what? Marijuana Swamp Thing, you have dedicated your life to... You know what, no, you really... Marijuana Swamp Thing, you need to get on this. Jeez, thank God there's an actual Swab Thing around here. Oh, yeah, yeah, you know what?

You're going to bring up that guy in front of my face? Yeah. You know what? Yeah, I am. Because you know what? He's got a job. He's successful? He's a scientist? I would love to read Alan Moore's Marijuana Swamp. one thing. All I'm saying. So, yeah, I mean, whatever, man.

Like, everyone's dying. And eventually... Here's a question about that. Yeah, okay. Yeah. Okay. Okay, because, all right, Jack Black gets killed. What'd you do? Yeah. Right. Garden shoes in the chest. Garden shears in the chest. Which actually, we were, we were, we were complaining. Yeah. Right. Hook hand, jabs the hook into his hand, Jack Black's hand. So, like, sticks him to the table. So if he was a fish, it would be like the fin, just somewhere on the sit. Right. Yes.

He gets them in the fin and sticks him to the fin and sticks him to table and then just takes these garden shoes and jams it in his chest. Right. A little out of character for the hooker. But here's the thing, and this is what I don't like about this movie is that, like, it's all like super like you'll see it with the maid as well. Like he swipes her and apparently that just

kills her. A lot of off camera swiping. And Ben, then it's like a close-up on like just the hook digging into some cloth with some fake blood around it. It's supposed to be her spine, but it just looks like, you know, a puddle of jelly. Yeah. Okay, here's, here's a real fucking question, man. Right. Right. All right. Because

okay the hooker is all like I know what you did that summer I hate these kids for their lack of compassion for human life such as mine they were willing just to throw me under the rug even though I was murdering somebody at the time meanwhile yeah he's just he's got no it's like a revenge

slasher but he's just murdering anyone just for the sake of murdering which is I understand what your Jason's and whatnot do right but this guy supposedly has this fucking high and mighty purpose. Right. He's got a very specific motivation is what you're saying. Yeah. And then

he just killed... But I'm just saying he should have more respect for human life. But as we all should promise. As we find out in this movie, thanks to Estes, or I forget what is it. Bill Cobbs, the character. Bill Cobb's character.

He, apparently the hooker started out as a hooker on this island. Yeah, he was like the groundskeeper. of this hotel. You start hooking in the Bahamas, man. You do not stop.

Yeah. Lifelong gig. Eating by crabs. Don't worry about it. So we find out that he, him and his family was here. He shot his wife or killed him. Just butchered that wife.

And then him and his, you know, daughter and son went off to Southport. You mean Will Ben's son? Will's Benson. Will. Ben's son. Said it like William Shatner, but that's the only way it makes sense.

Hi, I'm Will. Ben's son. Oh my God, if William Shatner played Will and he's just going there with young Jennifer Love Hewitt? Oh, yeah, that's a movie. Dude, he'd get it done. It's called Night of the Creeps.

Part 5 at this point, probably. Do they say what became of the daughter? The daughter is the one who died in the first one. Oh, right, right, right, right, right. And then he thinks that her boyfriend killed her. He didn't, but he kills the boyfriend. And when he's coming back from killing the boyfriend. Thank you. That's right.

That's when they get hit. So, yeah, everybody's dying. Everybody's dying. Jack Black's dead. Jeffrey Combs gets a machete in the head that we don't see. Which looks like a great scene because I still know has been painted in Jeffrey Combs' blood on the wall of this office. It would have been great.

It would have been such a great scene for him just to step him, like, what do you think you're doing in here? Like, you know, have that little... I mean, and that's... Jeffrey Combs can shine in that kind of little scene. That's where his wheelhouse is. But so here's my question, this. So we've been saying how, like, the hooker only does the hook. When we see these variations on the killings, is that Will?

Because we do have two killers in this movie. I feel like, yeah, because, well, you'd never know if Will actually has a slicker of his own. I think this is to prove, now, son, you have a slicker of your own. They're running around trading slickers, like, oh, it's time for you to wear the slicker, you know? You take a walk in your footst, dad's old footsteps here. I asked you four times before we left if you had both slickers. Do you know how impractical this is for us to be sharing a slicker while we're killing people? Will? Willie? Willie? I am six foot six. You are five foot four.

this is not going to work out you are just going to have to kill some people plain face okay shit oh here i found this hockey mask in the toolshade why don't you put that you cliche son of a bitch there is that there is a nice reference to jason and freddie in this movie um when oh doesn't macky fifer say something yeah yeah when uh when she was afraid of the boogerman and then they were sleeping yeah in the bed everyone sleeps together that night. Oh, that's a hilarious Scooby-Doo joke. They're all scared so they all sleep in the same bed.

So she's pissed off about that because he wanted to get it, you know, on, right? I'm surprised Mackay Fyfer didn't try to just angle some group sex at that point. I mean, I just don't think he put his elbow into it, really. Do you think Will? Figuratively or literally. I mean, he obviously would have tried that,

but I guess Will, Ben's son was holding him back? Oh, yeah, actually that's, I mean, he would angle for the three-way I bet. Yeah, I mean, he was making all the water is lukewarm when they were trying to be hot. So, it makes sense. But, okay. So, okay, Combs is dead.

So now we're all pissed off and we're like, okay, we're going to get this guy. Yeah. Oh, can I just pause, by the way, and acknowledge the fact that there's another movie going on called Freddie Prince tries to get a boat. Oh, God. So just to recap what this other movie is, is he jumps down the hill and escapes Hooker. he's brought to a hospital very injured breaks out of the hospital almost instantly

it's a useless scene goes to a pawn shop or a Mark Boone Jr. Right that was our clue from last week Mark Boone Jr. is the proprietor of the pawn shop. He hawks that fucking engagement ring buys a gun or I guess makes Mark Boone Jr. like sell him the gun. It's a

they're swapping the ring for the gun. Right and he very important detail here, by the way, he instructs Mark Boone Jr. To put bullets in the gun. Loaded. Loaded, he says, right? So keep that. And then Mark Boone Jr. gets shot in the face. And then he

Well, no, he doesn't. He doesn't. We cut and the movie continues. Yeah. And then he goes to a, like, he drives to a dock and hijacks a, but like, he points a gun, the gun at this dude. And he's like, I'm going to steal your boat. And then he starts making his

he chugs his way to first he's taking a goddamn bus to Miami oh the butt we see him on a bus to Miami and they waste so much time on him like this is like the shark

from Jaws 4 this is just unbelievable travel itinerary like what like 48 hours you're getting to Miami from wherever the fuck Southport is

yeah it's in North Carolina I don't know if it's set in North Carolina but that's where they shot it as well okay but anyway once he takes that gun out and gets that boat he's just i'm just picturing it'd be great to have a great movie here

where he's just pursued by the u.s. coast guard they board the ship and they beat the fuck out of him oh yeah oh yeah he's taken to like they take him out to international waters and it's like you know out here we try things a whole different way it's like we're not we're not the coast card out here throws the badge down oh yeah you think the mafia is hard this is the fucking Florida Coast Guard. You are so fucked right now. We spend all day rescuing fat kids

and inner tubes. So when we get a chance to pound out a sissy rich boy, we do it. And then they feed him to like a giant like octopus. Right, right. And then that gets stepped on by

by a Gundam. Then Amelia Earhart like sticks her head out the Gundam window and goes, sorry about that. Yeah, and then the U.S. Coast Guard has to hightail it. out of there real quick. Oh no, it's Amelia Earhart and a big Gundam. There's like giant waves

coming in and it's like a perfect storm because of all the fun, the Gundam and Kaiju. Yeah, all the fighting has caused a real wake. Yeah. That's a fucking great movie. So much better than this with him just chugging his way to the island. And like, I was

like in the back of my head, I'm like, wouldn't it be so much easier if like, it turned out he did go, Frady Prince did go on this vacation with him. Right. And he was just being a real like cold shit about like I wanted to go to clam bake I don't understand what I couldn't go I mean we just You know what they don't have on this island is clams

And all the clams I didn't have clams A dark and stormy, what the fuck is that? I'm sure you can get fucking seafood in the Bahamas Would you relax? No, you can't. Not my clams, not Southport clams. Southport clams come with engagement rings. Oh my God.

What did you say? I'm nothing. Clams. Oh my God, if I was Julie, once he showed up, I would kill him too. And just because it's like, I'll just Blame the killer. Yeah, the hooker did it.

Sorry. Oh my God, you guys, the hooker got him. But, like, just have him there, have him being a cold shit, and then, like, Will is working at the hotel. Oh.

And it's, like, a little bit more of a, like, tension thing there where you actually, like, might have some drama in this fucking 98-minute movie that feels like three fucking hours. Oh, it just goes on and on, man. So they're all,

they're all on blast now. They're all, like, we got to go kill the hooker. Oh, also, this is also right around here is when Julie gets trapped in the tanning bed. Oh, right. They're like, you know what? We had a bad night. Brandy's like, you boys go off and do something.

We're going to go to the gym and work out. Jay Love gets on like a stairmaster for two seconds, and she's like, this ain't happening. Right. So Brandy's like, you know what you need. It's been rainy. It's been cloudy. Why don't you go in this tanning bed here? And she's like, oh, okay.

And Brandy's like, well, I'll leave you to it. and then we just get like this strip tease for no reason yeah did you see him yet did you see him again everybody paying attention uh because after this things are going to get real and uh we're not going to be able to look at it as much so everybody this is like your last time to so yeah get a good look castanza everybody looking i know you thought that with your ticket came a framed picture of them he's not that way really so were you pissed off when you went to the theater and they didn't have threw down my popcorn in the middle of the fucking movie. Oh, geez.

I thought it was getting a framed picture here. Out of pure fury. Especially 98 when she was all the rage. Yeah, I mean, she was everywhere. She was such a rage, by the way, that one of her own songs is on the soundtrack to this movie. How do you with it? How do we do without you? Whatever it is.

Wasn't one of the lyrics of that? Come get me! What are you doing? I'm right here. What are you waiting for? yeah because i remember like when that video came out it was all around the same time it was all there because that was this because the first one had uh it was what made our lady peace

famous because clumsy debuted on the soundtrack that did it dude that's it and our lady you ever hear of our lady piece exactly a year ever hear our lady peace yeah yeah well you got thank uh jay thank hooker and will bends his son No, Will Ben's son isn't in the... The hooker is... Yeah, the hooker, you could... Part one. Well, yeah.

Well, you know, I'm sure the hooker's baby was around. Also, if we're talking about trade up, trade down here, trade down from first movie, concert with Southern Culture on the Skids, second movie, Jennifer Love Hewood doing karaoke. Yeah. And also, you know what's kind of shitty, too? Is like, when they're starting that karaoke scene, Brandy's like, come on, everybody. karaoke's going to be fun and I'm just like all right I mean

Brandy's gonna sing like I guess that's fine I mean that's what she does it and then she like she puts the microphone to her mouth opens her mouth and then is like here you go Jennifer Love You and I was like no come on at least you're a real singer she's just Jennifer Love You

and she does spend most of this movie sitting up in her room so I don't get yeah it makes no sense and of course she sings I will survive god damn it Because, because, get it. Because if you find yourself in a horror movie, you have to make references to songs that talk about survival.

If you're doing karaoke in a horror movie, the last song you want to be playing is I will survive because it's going to be very ironic of the fact that there's going to be someone trying to take your life and you might not survive. Thank you for listening to this audio warning of what it's like to be in a horror movie. Jay Hu, forever.

Julie knows she's the final girl. So it's okay. So, yeah, she gets in this tanning bed, hook hand comes by and he's got he apparently has some plastic ties on him. Zip ties, yeah. Just got some zip ties. Zip ties that thing closed. It's the 90s. Yep.

And just cranks it. I guess he uses that for his boat ropes or something. I don't know. What else do you use that for? I would imagine. Arresting people. I mean, that's the only thing I've ever seen to use them for all sorts of stuff. But my point is, why would you bring this with you as a serial killer? But bigger, why don't just

kill it? Why would you do something? Is why would you program a tanning bed to roast somebody possibly. Yeah, what? Why? He turns it all the way up and leaves and then she starts flipping the fuck out. And then when her friends show up

they're like, we got to get her out of here. They start like hitting it with like an axe. Dude, I was losing my mind. Unplug it. Fucking unplug it first. What the fuck is going on? He takes a barbell to it. Yeah.

It's not even like a sharp instrument. It's just fucking Mackay Fiper and his barbell. I hope you like broken glass, Julie. He just starts ramming this barbell against the handle of this thing. And she's like flipping the fuck. And the whole time I'm like,

somebody find the plug. Or somebody find the plug. Or turn it down. Or a fucking pair of scissors. How about that shit? A pair of fucking scissors. Go get the knife out of Jeffrey Combs' head. Pride out.

that's another thing they if someone's going around killing people why wouldn't I arm myself at least a little bit oh yeah I'm taking everyone I find take the murder weapons who gives a fucking exactly the Bahamas that's all gonna be getting wiped under the rock I they don't just as evidence just ask Orrin van der slute I mean right right yeah Jack Black probably has some kind of fucking like work belt I'm just taking that and I'm like arming myself with every sharp thing I can find exactly I'm Pulling that machete out of Jeffrey Combs' head. He doesn't need it.

It looks nice, but he doesn't need it on his head. A scene I've never seen, and this is, you know, for whoever's directed in a movie. Listen up. A lot of times you will see the fucking thing, like he writes, I still not one blood. I really want to see a scene where a person actually has to, like, take the blood from the person and has to write it on the wall. Because this is paintbrush quality. Yeah. Like, somebody took a few minutes to work.

this out. That would even be better to see a killer, like, take out a paint brush from his slicker and dip it in the blood. Well, I mean, like, that's almost some of your next shit. Like, like, an act you have to really know, like, this is a human being doing this shit. Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And, like, that's what I would...

Oh, yeah. I really love it. And actually, his new movie is really good. The guest. Oh, yeah. I want to see it so bad. Can't wait. Oh. It's a lot of fun. So good. So, they're all on blast, and they're about to kill this hooker guy. So So it's the main for Estes and Jennifer Esposito.

Am I correct? Those are the only people that are left at the resort. Alive. So I believe. So they go and they find Jennifer Esposito in the freezer. They're trying to hide. They open the walk-in freezer and she like hits Mackay Fiper because she's hiding in there. It's a big horseshit thing.

He's like, you know, why would you do that, this, that, and the other thing. He's instantly getting the traditional hook through the chin. He gets it through the throat. Oh, yeah, you're right. It comes out. It's totally Kevin Bacon in the first Friday. Right after he has that line of like, like, how you, something about, like, I haven't seen a psycho killer.

I haven't seen a psycho killer. Freddy Kruger fucking Jason thing. I had to bed a bit of it. Oh, yeah, he's like, everybody's freaking out. I haven't seen the psycho killer yet or something. Yeah, and it's like, jam town, dude. Jamtown, dude. And the guy, like, pulls him, like, this is weird.

Like, this is where the superhumans. strength is coming in because he hooks him through the neck and the guy's like hiding in the ceiling and he just pulls him up with one hand into the ceiling and you never see him again and the hook isn't like moving up through the like no that's

what happens like it's gross like yeah what would happen there is really gross you put weight on something like that it's going to tear right through it this is not good like a toothpick through a fruit roll up dude just is right up oh does that work that way I'll have to try that out

I'm going to get myself Roll-ups right after this. I might. There's also, so I mean, yada, yada, a lot of cat and mouse at this point, right? Right. One of the best things ever

is Brandy falling through not one but two huge panes of glass and getting up like nothing happened. She falls through like a window and lands on like this like, I guess it's like a, a greenhouse. It's like a greenhouse.

Yeah, it's like a greenhouse. house sunroom type thing all glass and she's like wow i probably shouldn't be walking on this let's take a couple of step up no and i fell through that and lands on like a work bet like she gets fucked up and then she gets up like whew and that was close and then a minute later and i know you know she's she's got a trim figure and everything like that oh oh she squeezes through the window of a door it's okay to try to set up what this door looks like it's a door and there's a window that's divided into four panes and they can't

unlock the door. There's like a chain around it or something. So Jennifer Lovehew, it takes an axe and smashes it through one of the pains. You have an axe. Oh yeah. Smash through the wooden partition too. Like break the whole window. No, no, no. She just breaks the one and the guy's coming after Brandy

and Brandy's like, well I guess this will have to do. And she like dislocates both legs, a shoulder to like squeeze through this thing. And I get it, it's a horror movie but why is why doesn't he ever just run just speed it up a little bit why does he have to jason walk everywhere we know who this guy is we know the identity of this man he's a man he's not a machine he's a man there are two of them too so it could be happening rapid pace yeah like you know what willis family pick up the fucking pace man and you both look like you're in fine shape your fisherman for crying out

loud yeah you're doing nothing but hauling loads come on guys it's so stupid they bump into old-timer, the voodoo man. Oh, right. Voodoo, yes. And he knows about the contest. This is where my memory is a little hazy. Well, because he heard, because Brandy was like, oh, we got the fucking answer right. It was Rio Dijian now. And he's like, oh, well, that's

wrong. Yeah, he's like, he comes up to there. It's really ominous too. He's just like, Rio is not the capital. He doesn't even say it's just in his look. He's just like, oh. Yeah, but then, but then later, like he goes, like they, that happens at the beginning of the movie.

He's like, okay, then, and, like, backs out of the room. And then, like, when everything's going down and everybody's freaking out, they run into him in the lobby. And he's just, like, Brasilia. And they're like, wait, what? That's when I stab him. I'm sorry, but that would freak me the fuck out. And he's like, oh, I'm sorry. What I meant to say was Rio de Janeiro is not the capital of Brazil.

It's Brasilia. And they're like, don't you hear the glass breaking the screams of death all around you? But first, I have to correct these kids with geography. And here's a whole bunch of fucking backstory you didn't give two flying fucks about. Oh, well, that's how we know all the stuff about, like, the wife and working on the island is because this guy takes them to the fucking cemetery that's on this resort property. And he's like telling the whole story about like murdering the wife and taking the kids and blah, blah, blah. And he's like, this is where they are all buried. It's just like we're in the middle of this slasher.

The shit's getting real. And it's like, come this way to Expedition Town. Population. You. Yes. And so about the whole fucking family. You see his bloodline. Then you get, like, you see all the graves.

And then it's like the open grave, which is Will Benson's or Will. What's the guy's name? Ben. No, Ben Willis. Ben Willis. It's like Ben, yeah, it's very confusing. Ben Willis's grave is. open and he's painted like

their, her name. I'm next to him also, Bruce Willis. Bruce Willis's tombstone from the 6th Sense, you know. I can only hope. Whoa. If he had the voodoo powers to actually get Bruce

Willis to come and take care of the hooker now, there's the fight I want. If you could get a voodoo power to stop him from making movies with 50 cent for a while, that'd be great. There ain't a religion on earth that can do that. Oh, God. Maybe Scientology.

Yeah. Scientology could get it done. Yeah. So, yeah, so now we're just at this thing. And the fucking guy, like, runs away. Estes, like, runs away. And then hook hands there. And he's like, let's fucking throw down.

Like, here we go. This, that, and the other thing. Whatever. He fucking gets shot or something and falls into his own grave. Oh, well, that's, this is Freddie Prince Jr. shows up. Oh, right. Oh, I forgot. Because Estes does get, he gets, uh,

harpooned. Oh, right. He gets harpooned and falls on top of Jennifer Esposito and then the hooker's just like, well, thank you for saving me some time. It's just like very conveniently pushes it even farther down and kills her. Thank God. I just cleaned my hook. Shit. Right, so I guess then they run back to the cemetery. Is that what's happening? No, because Ben, Will, Will Ben's son Oh, Jesus Christ. Comes out of the killer closet. it's about fucking die julia i have something to tell you i've wanted to tell somebody for a really long time i killed a bunch of people yeah i'm the killer i'm murdered a bunch of people this isn't my blood oh right that's what it is because he comes up all covered in blood and she's like

i'm hurt yes she's like i'll take care of you i'll stop in the middle of all this to clean your wounds jesus rampage is happening this is why we saw mary and jesus right right dude that's tending to the wounds. That's what we're doing, dude. Wait. So, I believe that means Ben's son is also... I think he's the Antichrist. Yeah, it's possible. Because I don't... You flip it around. I plumb haven't seen him do anything. Christ's like this whole movie. No, me neither, to be

honest. I mean, he's kind to some people. He was kind of kind for like... You know what? He was. I'll grant you that. But I don't think murder's good at the big guy upstairs. Jesus was particularly fond of murder, but... Unless it was his own, I guess. He was... with that enough. He was because he's like, ah, for everybody. Yeah, it's for, yeah, it's for everybody. It's to stop things like this. It's just trying to teach people lessons. Jesus was a teacher. Yeah. I say, you know what? Kids

out there live by example. Yeah. So, they get back to the grave site and then Freddie Prince shuns up and he's got the gun. And it's like, here we go. I'm going to take you to hell tonight. And he pulls that trigger dude. Yeah. And it's just click. And I'm like, remember earlier in the movie when you told Mark Boone, June? here to fucking load that gun did you watch

him do it Freddy Prince well I just assumed like come on I just squibed by the clam bake on my way to the fucking bus station

I would I would love to be like at the end of this movie love to see at the end of this movie like it cuts to like a year later and just

Freddy Prince Jr. you're so fucking fat the clam bake oh the clam bake is here again every day's a clam bake oh my god straw in the butter

butter more butter I lost all my friends to a murderer. I deserve more butter. And one with a thin mint? No, I could it possibly. Oh, God. I'm going to throw up clams.

So, oh, and then Hookhand comes out, and he's like, all right, boy, we're going to kill this Freddie Prince, Jr. And, like, goes at him with this, like, whatever, this fucking pole or speech. It's his hook. Oh, it's the hook. Oh, right. He runs out. He's going to go up. He's up and yes. Yes. Yes. You're right. And then he comes down and Freddie Prince is like, guys, get out of the way. It's like jumps down on the ground and he fucking kills his own son. Oh, it's awesome. Yeah, that's great. Dude drops like a bag of rocks. He hooks the hooker son. Yep. The hooker hooked his son. It's like a snake eating itself. Yeah, mistaken

hooketing. That's what, that's what he said. Mistaken victimhood. When he got brought down to the station for soliciting, it was mistaken hooker me. So they had them hook lining and sinker. Oh, there you are. Mercy me. I couldn't even say it right. That's how shitty it was.

So then there's a little more scuffling, this, that, and then apparently, I guess Mark Boone Jr. only left out one of the six bullets. That doesn't make any sense. It's so dumb. It's so dumb. It's not work. Yeah.

What, like, what are we talking about? Because she picks up the gun, blows him away. Well, you know, maybe Mark Putin Jr. is like, this kid's, you know, like, for safety reasons, I always leave the first one empty, the chamber. But he clicks it like two or three times, I think. Does he? Yeah, because he's like, oh, fuck. Maybe it's like, this fucking shitty ring is not worth, you know, I'll give him three bullets. These are empty.

These are empty shells. You only get three bullets. For this wedding ring, you get the gun and three out of six possible bullets. But then no, because fucking Jennifer Love Hewitt blows him away at least. least 17. Yeah. She has the cheat codes. And she's got a game genie hooked up

to that gun. Oh, man, a game genie just shows up like an actual genie. I'm like, I'm the evil gin from Wishmaster. You want a hundred lives and Mario brothers? Here I am. This could make sense because where does

outdated video gaming technology end up? The Bahamas. Bermuda Triangle. And what is happening? A hurricane blowing in all these creatures and gundams. Oh, yeah, you're right. socks from the laundromat, everything.

And game genies and evil gins. All sorts of elemental spirits. All the jaguars that nobody wanted after, once the 64 came out. Oh, those poor jaguars. Here it comes. A tidal wave of jaguars.

They all this getting thudded to death. Bludge into death. Everybody dies. Forget the shark nato. Give me the jaguar nato. Jaguar-N-N-A-N-O. And maybe, you know, the sequel, you can have actual Jaguars. Well, then you would have the 64s because, I mean, the Wees took them out. Yeah.

Oh, also, well, no, GameCube. Oh, the GameCube. Which was a bit of a failure. It was a D-D-O-K council. I liked it. I was. But you're right. That's what's fucking raining from the skies, GameCube.

Yeah, GameCubes and those shit's hurt. Just getting clunked right in the head with a big old plastic cube. Yeah, you're gone. Also, when she blows him away, the way. One of the first times I can remember seeing CGI

bullet wounds. Yes. It's really bad like computer bullet spray. It looks like fucking doom. Well,

that's also when Maca Phiper... That's why it's a video game. She used the code. When Mackay Fyfer gets it through the neck, it's clearly like...

Oh, is it really? Oh, yeah. It just turns into one of those eight-bit doom monsters for a shit. Just disintegrates into a pile

of fucking turquoise shit. And again, after the first time like I'm Jennifer Love Hewitt I just killed I killed this guy already once and he came back right I just killed him again he's in the grave why don't I just go and find

the nearest fucking batch of gasoline oh yeah dude and pour it all myself oh no I'm sorry no no in the grave he said it pour it all in the grave and light a match and just make double sure oh yeah just double sure like just

he came back like I understand the first time you thought he was dead because I think you speared him a few times and tossed him over. What happens to him at the end of the first movie? He gets thrown out the water. Oh yeah, he gets his arm cut off which is now I guess why he probably has a permanent hook hand. And then he falls into the water and they never find him. But it's not like you bleed out or anything like that. Yeah, no, of course not happen. And it's not like that blood wouldn't attract all the sharks. Here's the

thing is I wouldn't I wouldn't go for the gas. He's on an open grave right there Just fucking fill it in. Baring someone alive is one of my, it's on my bucket list. Is that going to be the last one you're going to do it to yourself? No, no, no, no, no. It's got to be to someone else. Gotcha. Preferably, that never happens to be.

That'd be terrible. So he's dead. It's like the sun comes up. The Coast Guard, I guess somehow got wind of what was going on. Well, I mean, they had probably heard some kind of fucking. We're chasing Freddy Prince Jr. Oh, yeah, that's funny answer. They're like, stay where you are.

You're fucking going to the hague. Yeah. So they get, I mean, Brandy, we thought might have been dead. That's what, that's what so dumb is because- This is fucking garbage. The movie, the movie does not in any way lead you to believe that Brandy's been murdered. Like, they just forget about Brandy.

She just got, the last time we see her before this shot is her getting tossed through into a bookshelf, I think. Yeah. I say she's dead. I say we moved on. I don't want this. Oh, my friend made it. Well, that's the thing.

It should just be her and Freddie Prince. And it's like, thank you for coming to my rescue. Like, everybody else is dead. There's no reason for Brandy to be alive at the end of the movie. Two Survivor's tops. Exactly. Well, I mean, that's how these movies work. It's a boy and a girl.

That's who survives. If you're going to do two, that's how you do it. That's how Cabin the Woods made their parody. They're like, yep. Ends with the two. Yeah, exactly. It's smart. Great fucking movie.

God, damn. Although a terrible movie, Jason goes to hell ended with two as well. Yeah, that's true. I mean, there's a lot of them that end like that and that are terrible. Yeah. Such as this movie. Yeah. So she, this is, we're saying it's unlike this.

Oh yeah, because it's three. Yeah. So she, yeah. So she's alive. No one cares. Like even Jennifer Love Hew, it's like, oh, that's cool. Oh, man, I just survived this second humongous trauma in two years. Also, it's like, where were you?

Where were you? I think maybe Jesus showed up and resurrected her because that's why they were showing it in the beginning. Yeah, I mean, they were setting it up. So, I mean, it does have to be a miracle. It was a miracle. It's a miracle that Jennifer Love Hew had made it out of her and her breasts made out of here. Yeah, unscathed.

Yeah, it's not a nick on them. So that's kind of just the end of the movie. A really terrible song starts playing. The sun's coming up. It stopped raining. like oh happy day and then holy shit

that one of the single dumbest epilogues like you want to talk about useless shit yeah because like I'm sorry like that movie ends when the helicopter comes they're like you're safe now stay where you are the coast guard's coming don't worry about it it it's cool

crane shot out of the fucking murder house and scream one yeah simple crane shot out exactly exactly do you're out fucking dumb songs playing everybody's happy, you know, we lived through it. Credits. Yeah, and you go away on the helicopter and you look back and you see that they've nuked the island. You would. I thought you were going to say you were going to see there was actually some dinosaurs on there that we never got to.

Life finds a way. Other half of the resort. Well, I'll bring her to the Jurassic Island. If I don't get her, surely a raptor will. Oh, that's what that huge wall was for. This part's a resort, and that's a dinosaur island. There's King Kong. They're all here. Oh, I would love that shared universe, because then Wade...

Skull Island. Way night with Jack Black, maybe? Godzilla was supposed to be here like an hour ago. I don't know. What the fuck is his problem? So we cut to some time later. We don't really know. They're living in a giant house because I guess they're going to get married or got married. Well, yeah, she's...

But she's a college dropout and he's a fisherman who can't catch fish. We're just two kids in love. It's also, it's the 90s. You could get a gigantic house for free. You probably have that's actually true. For free. Yeah. She is,

she's wearing the exact same engagement ring. So where's the deleted scene where he goes back and harasses Mark Boone Jr. To get that shit back. I'm giving you this gun back. It's slightly used. Well, you are a pawn shop. So you should be able to take us. By that, I mean, it's quite a huge part of evidence.

He's like, Hey, is it been used to kill anybody? Oh, it has? I'll definitely take it back then. Let's file this serial number off of it. Just up the value for that sicko. So it's so stupid. Like, he's brushing his teeth.

Like, they're getting ready for bed. And it's the longest of the several just going to walk around and listen for noises. That's all that's going on. Creek. And then she's like, you're just being stupid, Julie. Get it together. And she, like, sits down on the bed. And then, like, camera very slowly.

looks down her body in her pajamas because we can't just fucking cut to the floor. We got to really just caterpill her down there, man. And then we get to the bottom, and there is the hooker hiding under the bed in full costume, and he just grabs her by the ankles

cut to the Jennifer Love Hewitt song and the credits. For what and why? Is this just her demented mind? Has she finally gone mad from the hooker? Exactly. Is the hooker back again? Maybe now he's like a Jason

live situation where he's just a walking corpse. This movie does not have supernatural elements. This franchise does not have supernatural elements. Oh yeah? I can fix F for you real quick.

There was voodoo on that island. Andrew, there was voodoo on that island. You did a protection curse. Weekend at Bernie's 2 had voodoo in the Bahamas. It's starting to add up. It's the same universe.

That would be hilarious if she was like, oh no, someone's used voodoo to bring the hooker back from the day. dead and she turns off the radio and he just falls to the floor oh yes just give me that movie off that's the jennifer love hewitt songs off and we're good yeah that's what that's what the sequel

should have been this killer only starts having his murderous rage when he starts hearing tracks from jennifer love hewitt's album other than that it's resting peace it's very nice like so you're saying i won't be tormented by this man anymore as long as i don't play my own cd around me because that's the only person playing it. They're like, well, yes, that's right. And she's like, come on, man. Just Bob Marley, the Congo, some scientists. You're all set.

You don't need to be playing. Jennifer Love fucking You. It's rock song. Oh, God. Shit, indeed. And that's it. That's it. That's shit.

That's a shitty movie. Followed eight years later by I'll always know what you did last summer. I've always never have seen that. No, we got to see it. I'm going to try to poke around Netflix. I'll keep my eyes. eye out. If it becomes available on watch now, I might just

settle down with a ice cold glass of water and see if I can figure it out. Put some ice cubes in the water, yeah, I figured you would have to. Would anybody recommend? I still know what you did last summer. Oh my God, absolutely not. Like, do not go near this thing. It's useless sequel.

Boring. It's like the deaths aren't particularly good other than I guess questionably McCoy Fifers because, I mean, I was really that was something. How do you pull a grown man up through a ceiling with one arm. It's impressive. I mean, it makes absolutely no sense.

I thought Hulk Hogan was in on it. Well, I mean, if Hulk Hogan is it, that thing would be split right in half. Johnny Numanican right in half. So Hulk Hogan is the hooker, and we've established Racho, macho man, Randy Savage, is Jason. Yeah. That could be a good, like, Freddy versus Jason type of situation. And John Sina is fucking Freddie Kruger. And John Sina as Freddie Kruger.

That would be gross. Yeah. That just makes it grosser. John Sina in any capacity just makes it gross. He doesn't even have any fake burns on him. No, he's just him from the Marine, which I have to see.

I need to see that thing. It is something else. Is that a stay tuned? That it might be that thing is pretty fucking wildy. Yeah. You got some Robert Patrick in that movie. All right. So I'm not going to I'm not going to recommend this movie. No, it's all the way around no one's recommending. Yeah. If you're

curious in any way, I'd say check out the first one. The first one's fine. I would recommend that first movie. It's totally fine. It wants to cash in on the scream success, which you can't fault it for that. That's what slasher movies in the 80s did. That's just how things work. And I'm not saying it's good, but it's a nice little time capsule. Yeah, it works. And I mean, you got that fucking type of negative cover of summer breeze. And my, my God. That's I still know what you did last summer from 1998, directed by Judge Dreads Danny Cannon. If you want more information about We Hate Movie, Check out our website, WHMpodcast.com. Like us on Facebook and follow us on Twitter.

We're at WHM Podcast. Remember to get your emails in. You have until the 31st to request something for the listener request month's Animation Damnation Edition. Hey, if you like the show, also take a moment to rate and review on iTunes. There you go. It's very important. Stitcher as well.

Yeah, it really helps the profile of the show. We'd greatly appreciate it. Check out Blaming on Outerspace. You got some new episodes over there at the Blaming on Outer Space Studios. What's going on? It's up and kicking. Well, oh, I think soon we'll be talking about a little parlor game we like to call Ouija. Oh.

And can cats see ghosts? That was an episode. Can cat see ghosts is available now? But Ouija's coming out. You know, very good timing, by the way, in conjunction with this Ouija movie. Michael Bay's Ouija movie. Is he producing that movie? Get the fuck out of here.

There's three ninja turtles in that. Oh, there's definitely William Thickner is just in it for no reason. He's just hanging out. He's eating a sandwich in the background. Clue for next week's episode.

I'll do this one. Clue for next week's episode falling on a grenade. Yeah. You've all done it. Now see someone else do it or hear us talk about someone else doing it. In awe of somebody else doing it.

Most definitely, this has haunted me for several years. And by the way, like we've been saying, do not forget to join us on Halloween at the Jacob Burns Film Center. Pick up your passes to the overnight Halloween marathon, October 31st, starting at 10 p.m., Burnsfilmcenter.org

for tickets. If you purchase your pass before the 24th of October, you get $10 off. We will be there riffing on something that is very familiar to you. One of these sequels in this franchise is not like the others, and afterwards we'll be at Muldoons for a nice

coer's banquet beer. The banquet beer. So until next week, I'm Andrew Jopin. Chris Cabin. Eric Siska. Take it easy.