We Hate Movies - S5 Ep176: Child's Play 3

Episode Date: October 28, 2014

The #WHMSpooktacular2014 sadly comes to an end with the "Platoon of Horror Movies", Child's Play 3! Why bother continuing the Andy storyline? Why did Brad Dourif decide on that Nicholson impression? And what is the deal with that barber?!? PLUS: A certain Secundus-chasing actor walks off the set. Child's Play 3 stars Brad Dourif, Justin Whalin, Perrey Reeves, Jeremy Sylvers, Travis Fine and Dakin Matthews; directed by Jack Bender. Don't miss out on catching our live commentary at the Jacob Burns Film Center's After Dark Halloween Marathon, Friday, 10/31 at 10pm! Passes are still available, so shake a leg! Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

Hey gang, the clock is ticking before our live commentary at the Jacob Burns Film Center this Friday, October 31st, the marathon kicks off at 10 p.m. Passes are still available. Come up if you're in the city, the metro area. If you're not, it's a quick drive from wherever you are, I'm guessing. But if you're in the New York metro area, you come up on the Metro North train there. It's under an hour, nice quick ride up, walking distance from the train station. It's a pretty good setting for an actual horror movie itself. There might be a slasher thing that happens throughout the thing. A scream tube. Yeah, yeah. It might be scream-tude, you know, like, I'll be Jada Pinkett screaming out. How I want to be Jada Pinkett. Yelling at the audience for being so excited about bloodlust, look at me and no one's caring. My God, that opening is so stupid.

It's so stupid. It's throwing this, like, fake, like, I can't believe you like violence so much. By the way, here's scream two. Yeah. I feel like I'm going to go out more like Omar Epps and I'm just going to be like listening to somebody take a shit and then I get a knife in here. Well, that's, you are known for listening to people take shits in bathrooms.

Oh, yeah. Eight films, one night, all horror. It's one of my favorite, it is my favorite stupid horror movie of all time. That we're doing the live commentary for it. Yeah. Oh, yeah. My favorite stupid horror movie of all time. And I'll give like another kind of hint here.

I mean, everybody knows what it is. But we could. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm just, I'm not going to, but I'll say this. If anyone hasn't figured it out yet, I mean, and after last week, my goodness, I was really hitting the nail on the head. But if you happen to know how to find my letterboxed page, I have been watching every other movie in this franchise, except for the one that we're doing. Saving that for a rewatch this week, get in the zone for the commentary. AutoZone.

Yeah. Get in the zone. Now we're going to get sued. I sang the AutoZone. So 10 p.m. this Friday, October 31st, you can pick up passes at burnsfilmcenter.org. And don't forget, speaking of the 31st, it is your last day to email us for your listener request month, animation damnation email. Oh, man, we've really just stepped in at this time. There's been so many great responses and so many awesome, like, bizarre cartoons I've never heard of. Oh, yeah. Good episodes of things that I've been looking for like, because that's the thing is we have an idea of what we want to do for the rest of this show. this side show that we do but like there's just so many episodes of everything and it's hard to find stuff

and that's why it's been so great that everybody's been putting links to everything in the email because it helps it really does thank you for following instructions so again if you haven't written in yet you have till this friday uh the 31st of october right in with the show you want us to take a look at the episode and a link to it on youtube uh or make a mention of it being in uh in a netflix or hulu type situation. We'll take care of it from there. But yeah, stupid cartoons, man, ridiculous episodes of popular cartoons. Anything goes.

Oh, yeah. Steve and I were just talking about how eventually we want to do this one particular episode of Batman the animated series, which is one of the best cartoons of all time. But there's something that qualifies in there. Absolutely. There's fun, stupid shit all over the place. So here's

what you do. Wake up on the 31st, write your email in about what you want us to do on AD. And then go to BurnsfilmCenter.org. Pick up your pass. Come up to the Burns. You know, I'll be hosting all night. We're going on second. It's going to be a really, really fun time.

Go to work if you have to, though. Don't get fired just on the case of, you know. Yeah, because then nobody wants to go to an all night horror marathon once they've been fired. Yeah, I know. Your life's already horrific enough as it is a downer, I feel. Yeah, probably. October 31st, check us at the Burns

and email us your AD picks. Don't wait. Hello, Mandra Jupin. Chris Gavin. Steve Say that. And we hate movies. It is time to keep your appointment with the Wicter Man. They're coming to get you, Barbara.

I sick for fucks. He's seen one too many movies. Now, Sid, don't you blame the movies. Movies don't create psychos. Movies make psychos more creative. Put the fucking ocean in the rat. What an excellent day for an exorcism. Hello, everyone. Welcome to the final.

God, I'm so bummed. Episode of the Spooktacular 2014. Hashtagg. W.H.M. Spooktacular 2014. We are talking. You all guessed it, folks. Child's Play 3. Directed by Jack Bender from 1991.

Jack Bender, of course, was a big, he's a big TV director. He directed a ton of lost. Like, he wasn't like series director, but dude directed a shit ton of lost episodes. Some of the best ones, actually. but in 1991 he unfortunately dabbled in the feature film world and we got this you think he met like Abrams at a party

and it's just like Abrams just did taking care of business he just did like Childs Play 3 and he's like what are we gonna do man and it's like dude I'm gonna get you out of this mess trust me in like 20 years from now I'll get you out of this mess don't worry about it brother don't worry

I feel like they probably met and like they did like he was gonna do like taking care of of business. Jack Bender was going to, he would, he, but that, and so they met a few times and then they just, they just disagreed on what it should be. Who wanted what in that situation?

I feel like Jack Bender probably wanted to be more like an Oz type. God, I wanted to be more of it. Yeah. Oh, I'm getting killed. Oh, rats. I'm getting stabbed in the kidneys. Hey, Schillinger, I'm not Jewish egg.

I know that there's a lot of fans of like all horror franchises. I'm a fan of stupid shit. I can't get behind this Chucky nonsense. I never could. I'll tell you, I prefer puppetry. Like puppet Chucky. This CGI Chucky, this shit in these new movies.

I haven't seen any of them. I've been like, you know, unfortunate enough to see clips of them. But this is a franchise I cannot back. I remember seeing the first of the new cycle. The Jennifer Tilly series. The Bride of Chucky, I think, was that one. That one. I remember seeing that.

in theaters and it was awful. You saw the whole thing in theaters? Just that one I saw the whole thing. Oh really? That was kind of in that Halloween H2O timeline like post scream slashes are back baby. We just need to gussy them up and everyone put on their best horror

tuxedo and made a good showing so H2O came out Bride of Chucky came out Freddy versus Jason's a little later but pretty much right there. It's right there. I mean they did like so H2O's like 98 and I feel like That bride of Chuckie was like a round men.

Yeah. Then you got seed. Oh, yeah. Where two puppets fucking make a baby. Yeah. A baby doll. Was it a doll? Yeah.

I mean, they were two dolls and they had doll intercourse. Yeah. And then a baby doll is made. And then there was curse of Chuckie, which I think is like possibly a reboot. I don't know. The newest one's supposed to be different. Like it's supposed to be like less fucking jokes, more horrors. Right.

And that's, that's. Curse of Chunky, that's 2013. And the thing is, the first one, I was under the impression. Look, there's two things in this world that scare the shit out of me. It's fucking clowns, and it's dolls that come to life. Oh, yeah. Those are the things. Those are my top two.

It's not spiders. It's not fucking, but man, oh, man, am I terrified of that shit? And, like, that's why, like, I don't need to see that Annabelle movie. I know it's bad, and I hate being afraid of bad movies. Yeah. We were taught, we, I will admit this. to the world now of something that I was mentioning off air

in the privacy of my living room to you but I am kind of terrified to watch most modern horror movies I've been trying to get over that slump like this Halloween season and like watching some stuff I find on Netflix here and there but like the thing that I can't do and I think it's because the ring just like

just scared me to death that first ring movie the Naomi Watts remake like weird dead girl ghost things. Yeah, we're all walking all jangling shit. We're walking all jangling and shit. And I can't and it's that stuff that I'm like I just, I can't watch that. And I feel

like that's what, like all of these the haunting of Mary who gives a shit. Possession of Esther who cares. Like all of these movies that are coming out and you can forget all the ones that are apartment and room number because there's about 14 of those movies now and they're all jangly

walking weird girls and I can't look at it. I'm going to tell you this and you're not going to believe me. Okay. But the possession of Esther Who Cares is actually pretty good. Sounds like a Chris Cavan tall tail to me. But, you know, and that's why I, and also I had a real big, I have a huge

gap, see the Friday the 13th episode we did. My heart's still broken. In slasher movies, because I was always afraid of them as a kid. And I've gotten over it. You know what I mean? I've realized that there's actually almost none of them that are actually scary and also I'm an adult. Nothing's going to get me.

I just said I'm scared of weird girls Jangly walking weird dead girls Who are a little pale So it doesn't matter if you're an adult or not, dude So that's why the child's play was always at the bottom of my list It was like a double dose, you know what I mean? But I watched the first one last year And I assume that was the good one

Usually the first one's the good one Well, because they made a bunch more So the first one had to be good, right? And like usually the first one's the least joky of all of them But he's just bebapping and it's gotten all over that one too Yeah, it's just, it's way too many jokes. It's way too many jokes of Brad Dureth, durfing around in this Jack Nicholson impression, and I can't stand it. And I will say that's the one thing that the new Chucky movies get right, is that...

He's doing some sort of Polish accent? Yes. No, they make the world heightened. Like, the world is a little bit more silly looking in those movies. Whereas in that, it's like a fucking Sydney Lumet, New York. It's really ridiculous. It is the hard streets of New York City, man. It's like Chris Sarandon walking around steamy fucking sewer caps.

It's like it's taxi driver. It's unbelievable. And then there's just a sass talking doll. For no reason. Absolutely nothing. I mean, like that's the thing. The problem also is like Chuckie could could and should be scary. But like once he starts telling jokes, once he's the protagonist of the movie, not like he is in this movie.

movie. He's not the antagonist who's like, oh my God, is he in the corner? Oh, my God, is he under the thing? He's just the guy we're following. We're just following his life at this point. And his puppet life. I feel like that's because like it was a sensation, right? Yeah, people loved it. He was a sensation. And it's not like, it's not like something like Friday the 13th where you line up all the dead meat kids. Yep. And you just wait for Jason to come. Yeah. You know, like the attraction is just seeing this doll. And like, it's the same thing with the later Freddy movies. It's like you're coming because this thing's making

jokes and killing people. Yeah. So like punny and whatever. Yeah. Like you got to watch the thing make the joke before the kill. So you can't set up any kind of suspense where like he's going to pop out and kill somebody. He pops out. But then he's like making a joke and then he's killing somebody. It's like Kramer.

You know at that point. Like woo Kramer. If Child's Play was a sitcom, like every time Chucky came on screen there'd be a round of canned applause. I do feel like Jason is Jerry in that situation Yeah, he is the neat freak of the bunch So I guess Freddy would be George He flies off the handle a bit

He flies off his handle He lost the job at the high school He just can't keep a job That Fred Costanza You did what with the children? Oh my God That's what I guess a Jason impression I mean, he doesn't really talk

Not at all. But I figured that's what you were doing. Thank you. So we start this one off, like the end of that second one, he's like blown to bits and melted or something. He's melted with like liquid, like acid plastic. It's boiling acid, says the security guard

from Batman Forever. So yeah, he's just a puddle. And so we open on the puddle. We open on like doll parts. Like that's, look at all these parts. Like ew, right? Yeah. but it's like a it's like a chucky credit sequence i guess you see the aftermath you see like the company i guess is like getting ready to make these best bud dolls or whatever they're

called get back in business so they're revamping this factory in transylvania yeah and like while they're passing the chucky doll the melt down chucky doll across the mixture which i guess they're going to use the same one yeah just decades old plastic mixture sure that's a bunch of blood goes into it from the doll. Now, my question was, why aren't all of them evil? Yeah. If all the blood is in the fucking vat, why aren't they all evil? And that would be

really good. That's... You're exactly right, Chris. That's the way you do it. That's how you step up the stakes. And you know what? Fine. It would be obnoxious. We would be sitting here complaining about, oh, I had to hear 12 tracks of Brad Durif. I'm fine giving him money. Oh, yeah, I love

the man. If he wants money, you give him money. What if you get the whole you get the whole Cuckoo's Nest cast back. You get Chavetta's one. You get Danny DeVito as another. Christopher Lloyd could be a doll. You blow your budget on Nicholson. Yeah, oh yeah, Nicholson. Well, you don't

have to blow your budget on Nicholson. You got Brad Durf during the, doing the Nicholson impression. That won't work. Because that's all it is. He's not talking like Brad Durf. He's talking like Jack Nicholson. And it's weird. It is. He even does the Jack Nicholson Shining scream when he runs out at Scott Man

Carruthers. The which it does exactly 1,500 times. Oh, my God, by the end of it, you're so tired of him. I'm so awed out. Like, it's not even funny. Like, why does this puppet need to psych himself up to kill people? It's like a wrestler getting ready to jump off the top turnbuckle. Like, you know, no, no, Chucky.

You're not dealing with a hernia. You're just going to kill somebody. Oh, my groin. And so we could cut to a 1990s boardroom, and this got this point Dexter is given a whole spiel about like and it's not like usually it would make sense if this guy was like oh my god I can't believe you're bringing back this thing what a you know he's he maybe he's the guy that believes in the magic but he's got some hard numbers he's like look this this whole thing this whole toy line is related to death you look at that toy

you think you're dead this thing is going to be poisoned to our bottom line yeah and this guy's like that like the chief, like the CEO or whatever, you know, he's just like, nobody's going to remember this. It's like, no, dude, everyone's going to remember that this kid claimed one of your dolls killed his family. You know what I mean? And what's very clever about this too is this point, Dexter, in a sense, like, kind of just recaps those first two movies for you. It's pretty economic. In this boardroom meeting, it's better than a flashback. So this guy's like, oh, fuck it.

Kids are stupid. And it's like, well, yeah, but sir, you're not, look at these graphs. We all know kids are stupid. That's not the point. Also, get corporate culture, right, they would do a whole fucking, like, and this would suck, but they would do a whole, like, design. Oh, he's got to have new clothes. He's got to have a new, like, fucking hairdo.

You can't just put out the same doll and the same dungarees. Absolutely not. They would never do that. But they do that. What's amazing is, like, they're bothering to have this boardroom meeting. And the guy, the guy is just like, well, this has all been. fascinating but by the way the new shipment of dolls will be here in 15 minutes and we'll have them out in stores by the end of the week i was like what is the point of having this boardroom

meeting then if only to remind us about the last two movies why didn't you just say no to the guy just shoot that shit down and let everybody go to lunch early well that's the best part too is like you think at the end the guy goes up he's like look you know boss it's just those are just my opinions you know i don't want to be on the wrong side here's like oh don't worry about it. And you think maybe he's going to do something nefarious to him or he's going to do that I want that man homeless, penniless, or like tearing tickets

in Alaska or whatever. Yeah. No, just walks right out of it. They do a bullshit thing where he's like well, I'm going to take off for the night boss and he's like, if you must. And the guy like pauses for a second. He's like well my wife's expecting me. See, it's our it's our anniversary. And he's like

if you must. And he does the old like, well I guess I could get these reports done after dinner. If you must Cratch it. Here's a sack of my laundry. So they then present this old man at the end

of this boardroom meeting with the new good guide doll. There's a bullshit like the good guy doll for the 90s. And you're like, oh, it's just the 90s, isn't it? The same package. It's the same fucking thing. It's the same thing. I don't know what, you know, it's like

oh, but look, see there on his Top collar, he's got a cool radical symbol or something. Fourth Dimple. It's completely different. So they give him this doll and he's being like a big hot shot businessman. You know, the end of the night. It's late. Yeah, he puts on CNN or whatever.

Yeah, he's doing the old, I'm going to do some putt putt in my office. And whatever, this doll comes to life and kills him. It takes forever. This scene they really thought that they were going to make some, like, that's why I was like, are they trying to make this suspenseful because I know what the doll is. I know what the doll does. Yeah, he's going to Jack Nicholson roar and kill this person. He put like marbles all over the

floor. And then he like, he acted, this old man hilariously has tons of toys in his office. I guess if you're a toy magnate, even a heartless one, you still have to have like your product. Yeah, samples. But there's all these like little like toy cars and little robots like coming after them and stuff because like the dolls turned it on.

It's almost like a saw set up. Yeah, it's kind of a big trap. This thing and then you trip on marbles, then I'm going to stab you in this arm, and then maybe I'll strangle you. He does the piano wire, and then he, like, comes, you know? He's like, oh, yeah, that was fucking awesome. Oh, yeah, it feels good to be back, or whatever. Here's the thing, real quick, I think it's like the most unbelievable part of this scene, right?

And it's not the fact that a doll comes to life and kills a man. It's that a doll comes to life and gets itself easily out of this packaging without this old man hearing anything. you know how hard it is to take a toy out of anything? It's obnoxious. It's got those little twisty ties on there maybe. You need fucking scissors. Well, I mean, you need an adult to get some scissors. Early 90s

I feel it's just staples. But still, you're punching the cardboard. Well, this fucking doll somehow mails itself. That's a scene I want to see. Yeah. Where is the scene where he, you know what it had to have been? This is the only thing I can see happening. Is he's like, hey, homeless

bum. You know, he's like, give you a quart of whiskey. If you just mail this box that I'm going to put myself in, don't worry, I am a talking doll. And I'm not going to poison you. And he just has like this, he gives the homeless man like 20 bucks to go get like a fifth, right? And he's like, now I'm going to get in this box, you piece of shit. And then he's lucky I'll not kill you because I'm a real good killer. Yeah.

And he just makes this like drunk homeless man like mail him because how else is it happening? They put him in the mail shoot. Oh! He's going down. He's all the way down. Just stupid. And here's the thing. And also what makes Chuckie a lot less scary than your Jason's and your Freddy's and your other dudes.

You're Michael. All the dudes. All the horror dudes. Yeah, sorry. Sorry. Got a little mop the hoopel on you there for a second. It happens. But he has a very clear objective.

And that makes him less scary. Like, all I need to do is get my soul into Andy. Right. And that I'll be all right. Like, because what he wants to do is take over the body of a young person so he could live again. It's another being reborn through a child. Let's point that out. But he also drives. And then, because I'm not super familiar with these movies. Oh, he needs Andy because he's bound to him by a spell or something.

That's the only way to complete the spell. But then he goes to the school and it's like, oh, let me take this other kid. And it's like, so if you could be any kid in the whole world, you can find a stupid kid. Like, come on. Well, he does find a stupid kid in this movie. Oh, yeah, a real dunce. But the thing is, is that he has to, real dunce. He has to, it's the first person he tells who he really is.

Yes. Oh, is that how that works? My name's Charles Nelson Riley. It's not what necessary. Oh, no, it's Charles, whatever, you know. And in camp or whatever. Yeah, it's like, he reveals his true identity. Oh, it's, like, bound to him in some.

bound to him. Oh, I thought it was anybody. And I was like, if it's talking anybody. But at the same time, it still could be literally anybody because just go up to any dunce and be like, I'm Charles Nelson Riley. Now I got to eat your soul. You know, like, it doesn't make any sense that he tries for Andy twice. It's not even that eat your soul.

He tries three times, by the way. It's full pedophilia talk. Yeah. Because it's hide your soul. We're going to play hide the soul. Ew. We're getting a little weird with how we're trying to trick these kids. lot of pedophilia coming up. So

he's like, I got to find Andy on the internet, which is enough of a problem. No, no, no, no, no. This is, this movie comes out in 1991, okay? Internet, not necessarily readily available. No, I know. Okay, so it's, he's back in that CEO's office, and he's like, where's Andy? And it's just like, you see the reflection of the computer screen and somehow he just pulls up this file. It's like, what? Well, I mean, that kid must have sued his company four or five.

times at this point yeah i guess that's true you're not you're not getting uh you're not getting court out of that although i would imagine a big corporation like that might just settle yeah it's like oh jesus here's that kid again saying the doll tried to kill him they definitely have a barclay binder like it's not a file it's no longer a file it's a fucking binder so time has passed a little bit since our last uh child's play movie so we're in a fake future by the way because i think the last one was like 1990 or like 89 it's yes you're totally right and he's it's it's like eight years in the future because like Andy's like 15 or 16. Yeah, you're totally right. So we're in a fake

1994, I guess. He looks like a bad Will Wheaton stunt double. Justin Waylon was Jimmy Olson in the second Jimmy Olson in the Lois and Clark show because the first one a little too Italian for everyone's days. Are you kidding me? Yeah, the original one was like this like like fast talk, a better actor too, like a fast talk and like, hey, CK, how you, how you doing? And then like they're like,

Uh, is that he supposed to be Irish? His name's Jimmy Olson. Does he have to be a newsie? Where do you get that cab? Why does he keep using that cab? Oh, that's funny. Yeah, I didn't recognize him for anything. The only, I remember him from the serial mom.

He's the funny masturbator. That's a credit you want to keep under IMDV. And that's how he's credit, a funny masturbator right under Kathleen Turner. So, in second. Billed Kathleen Turner Funny Masturbator So he's sent I guess after spending some

Some years we don't see go by in a series of foster homes Do you think Kirk O'Bain never dies in this reality by the way In this alternate 90s? I would put up with a Chucky doll chasing me If that was the case To have old Kurt back So he's at this military academy.

Kent Military school is that the idea? So he's just like thrown right into the thing like he's military school where live ammunition is king I guess must be the fucking motto is readily available yeah I mean I was talking about I saw some other people like talking about this online and stuff like it's feasible like I don't know anything about military academies but like I would wager there's live ammunition somewhere locked the F up yeah well you know it's a world where there's a doll that comes to life sure sure sure It could also be a world where a gun cabinet's left unlocked. Or, well, I mean, it looks like Wallace's shed. It's like off to nowhere. It's a rickety fucking door.

There's spider webs. Yeah, where all the bullets are. So, you know, he gets there, and he immediately gets sent to, like, the colonel's office. And it's a really, like, this guy is going a roundabout way to be like, I don't want any of that doll bullshit in my school. You know, it's just like, now, why don't you tell me why? you're here. Uh-huh. What else? Well, I was, uh, you know, I got a random foster care and I don't really like it. Uh-huh. What else? Get to the part about the doll. Exactly. I'm not hearing about a doll. And her mother going crazy because of a doll.

Yeah, totally. So get my mother, you know, she's in a mental institution for various reasons. Why? Because. my buddy and who So he finally says it He's like very good No doll shenanigans We all have to grow the fuck off I mean

Thinking that a doll Killed a lot of people is not Immature It's fucking crazy Yeah totally it's not like Oh little child It's like oh crazy child Totally different animal

also then why isn't like he you want to put andy in the mental institution right because you they did it with elm street three like that's just a ward full of crazy kids and they've all been fucked with by freddie like pop them in there well like what they kind of suggest in the beginning of the second one is that like he was crazy because the mother was crazy about the doll because she is the one who's fighting him in the first one yes it is more yeah it's the mom you're totally right and then the same second one, it's more him fighting it with Garrett Graham and the new foster family. Yeah, because 7th Heaven was gone at that point. She skipped town. The mom's not in the second one? No. I don't think so. No, she's on. Oh, really? He goes to a foster,

Garrett Graham's father. Oh, one and done. Yeah. I see. She's in a picture, though. A framed picture. They paid for that fucking film still, and they will use it. They use it and this. He puts it on his dresser in his little dorm room. So yeah, he goes, he meets Horsack as

a little roommate there. Yeah, this guy's a real weiner, huh? I mean, and it's... Whitehurst or something? Yeah, Whitehurst. Man, this kid's arc is just something else. And we'll get there because that's the...

That is... This kid's whole thing is the steak of them. You know, everything else is the potatoes, the fucking bread, the dessert. That kid, that's the steak. Also known as Quentin Tarantinos, the cowardly lion. I mean, this guy, like, I feel like, most of his life is like Paul from the

Wonder Years. You know what? It's like that Pussified by another like 30%. Like Paul wasn't a coward. Paul's parents caught him smoking a cigarette. They ship him off to the military academy. Yeah. I mean, so this is, it's like, you know, it's a military academy

thing, right? So like there's an older boy who's like the more senior officer. Of course he hates this kid for no reason. Shelton is the, yeah, the bully. Then you got a girl, Desilva. I believe is her name. From Entourage.

Yeah, she's, what's, Piven's wife on Entourage. And she's an old school as well. Who's she in old school? Farrell's wife. Yes. Oh, yeah, okay. And she's in a great episode of The X-Files.

The Vampire one, where it's three vampires. Oh, is she one of the three? She's the woman who seduces the Mulder. She's, I think she's really good, actually. She's a character actor, she's not in a ton. Perry Reeves, she's actually like somebody like, oh, good.

She's kind of the best part of this movie She's like you see her in these scenes And you're like All right you're actually doing something With this fucking drek It's fine Thank you for trying And so Chuckie mails himself

And there's this kid Tyler Tyler R Tyler I think his first name's like Rodney or something But everyone's last name So Tyler's his name ostensibly And like you know

He's a dope I mean the problem is But he's like five years old What does he That's what I don't understand Like do you put kids this young in a military academy? But he's not, I mean, he's like eight or nine, isn't he?

He's just acting five. He's about seven or eight, but there are young, there's little kids. Also, I don't know a lot of co-ed military schools again, prove me wrong, kids. I don't know. I don't know one from the other, but there's only two women in this one. Yeah, well, that's the other thing. It's a bunch, it's like, it's a cheap movie. So it's like 16 boys, two girls, and four little kids.

You know, like that, and that's the entirety of the school. Which is amazing to me because it's like, why don't you just balance that out a little bit? Why do you need so many teenage boys? Yeah. Just get another couple of girls. Like, get some more girls. You can ease up on the little kids. I don't get it.

Like, are the little kids running the drills and shit? Just like these teenagers? Then you have two separate curriculums going on together and you don't have, you clearly don't have the staff to make it work. I don't think I see one teacher in this movie. Shelton isn't a fucking place of power It makes no sense It's silly It's ridiculous

There's no classes ever It's only we're just running And you know Doing push-ups And whatever else And like But they'd still have to go to school man Like you know

Like yeah The state makes them go to school By the way Since we're bringing up Tyler Can we talk about how he's Introduced with another character Who is my favorite character The Barber

Oh man This pervert I don't know what his problem is I don't know what movie he'll belongs in, but I don't think it's this one. Well, speaking of weird creeps, he's the dude who plays the Scorpio Killer and Dirty Harry. That makes perfect sense. Yep.

Who gives this guy free reign to cut kids' hair? Like, come on, come on. And as if it couldn't get any worse, the barber shop is in the basement. Where no one can hear you scream. And he's got cartoons on all day. And he's given, you know, Jimmy Olson a haircut. He's like, you know why the Romans made their hair

short? And I'm like, oh, fuck. Oh, if you're bringing up orgies. You're talking about the Romans. It's like, oh, it's like, because the generals wanted their squires to look. I mean, because that way no one could pull your hair. Oh, wait, can I make it worse? Can I set this scene even creepier? Sure.

Do we remember what's on the walls of this barbershop? Hair samples with corresponding polaroids to the children he's given hair cuts to. Yes, you didn't notice that? Oh, my God. There's Polaroids of children with little hair. Little hair samples. And they're all in a padded room. This is your horror movie, everybody.

Yep. Creepy barber, creepy kid barber, done. Like, that's like, Chuckie comes in and he's like, you're a real creep, you asshole. And he goes, oh, yeah. And he just murders the doll. Yep. The doll's out of the franchise.

And now it's just Barber 3, the barbening. Yep, exactly. I'm going to lower your ears. And, you know, he cuts the ears off and puts him on his feet. You know, like, that's lowering your ear. That's your movie. Yeah. My God.

It's unsatisfying. This character. It gets like, you want to trim, garden shears, head off. Yeah, and I mean, clearly he's got a mustache. So he, that goes without saying. Tyler is, you know, delivering mail, and he gets a package for Andy because that's where, make the, we went to the bum's explicit. It was like, make it out to Andy Barclay at the military academy.

You got, you got to put the P.O. box on there. I'm also going to be in shipping for weeks. No, no. No, that's one R. B, A, R. C. No, I know it sounds like Barclay. It's not. It's Barclay.

Like, bar, where you wish you lived. Clay, what's in your fucking skull instead of a brain. I just like the idea of Chuckie, cool at his heels, on the third attempt to deliver this package. Are you fucking kidding me, mailman? He's putting a notice on the door. Fuck, fuck. I hear him taking out that pad. He's never going to sign it.

God damn it. Third attempt, I'm going to sit in that back room for weeks. Now someone's going to have to come to the post office and pick me up. Also, great, great missed opportunity here. So, like, this little kid's carrying this huge box that's, like, taller than him. And he drops it down the stairs because, like, everyone in this military academy is messing with other kids. It's bully high. Yeah.

So they're like, oh, hey, little kid, what do you got a package and, like, toss him? and this box falls down the stairs a really good stair fall where is the ah, oh, ah, far, ah, eh like that doll needs to be yelling that it's falling. Well, that's another thing about Chuckie that I don't understand is Chuckie bleeds

if Chuckie loses an eyeball, he's lost an eyeball. Right. There's no regenerative properties, at least in this movie. Not that I saw. So like he's just a little person at that point. He's a creepy, because like, he's got no extra strength that we can see. Like, he's not super strong, he's not super fast.

he's a little person with a knife essentially i mean that i mean the fact that this movie i mean i know that you know logic isn't supposed to have any worth but like he is like the whole thing is at the end of the second one yeah he does become chucky like he can't like he actually gets andy down and he does the whole thing he does the whole thing oh he does the little spell and it doesn't work because he's been in the fucking doll too long so he is chucky and then they kill chucky exactly why but yeah like wouldn't that mean that his whole like motive in this movie makes no sense like it was just if it was just to kill Andy for vengeance right that would make sense well I guess the argument they make here is that he's got a new body because he's got a new body apparently that whole bat of plastic only went into one fucking doll you're so damn right like why are they're not an army of little chucky dolls better movie kills me oh also the haircut that Andy gets from that child molester barber yeah it's a wolverine haircut. It is. He's a little Wolverine. He looks like

a Will Wheaton dressed up as Wolverine. Wilverine is what this kid looks like. So he gets this little kid in the basement and like the kid unwraps the package because he realized it's a toy and he's excited about it. And he's a little fucking deprived kid.

But like here's the thing. I had a great imagination as a kid. Yeah. I knew that none of my toys could talk to me and if any of them did that's the end of it. Mom mom mom that's what I'm screaming three times

yeah no exactly like one of my notes was how is this kid not petrified of what's happening right now yeah and to further that point no one really is that surprise when they encounter this talking doll there's like a mild amount of like

oh holy shit you know why because all of the other movies has oh is that a good guy doll I think those are evil oh yeah it is oh okay cool oh look it's coming after me with a knife oh I knew it would do that The world all saw that New York Times piece about Andy Barclay. Oh, that was the Andy Barclay. I told you that was the Andy Barclay that's now going to our school.

They got a Wolverine haircut, but it's him. Can't hide behind that Wolverine haircup, Barclay. I know what's going on. Get away, paparato. So he, like, tries to do this spell on this kid, like, immediately. Yeah. Now we're going to play, Take My Soul. Hide the soul.

Hide the soul. Again, toucher. Toucher. the sausage. And the kid's like, oh, boy. And again, Chucky, you know what? You fuck this up three times already at this point. You never use your real voice.

Use your super high, cute voice. And be like, well, we're going to play a fun game. Just close your eyes. Yep. And put these ear plugs in because I'm about to do some satanic shit. Yeah. You know, like it's just figure out a better. Figure it out.

He does a bad job at ever pretending to be innocent in this movie. And it's a big problem because he would succeed all of the time. Just stick to your same. three dumb lines that the doll is supposed to say and then secretly just come alive and kill somebody see that's the problem is the serial killer that's inside this doll like the soul of that serial killer cannot get out of his own way no he can't he just cannot do it well what i just don't understand

is like okay so he finds out immediately he's like okay i have a new body i can fucking you know do i can do it to another kid this time yeah i've got free reign any kid i want and the first one you meet why not go to a fucking orphanage or go to Yeah, nobody's gonna miss them Go to a fucking hospital Like somewhere where they're gonna be there All the time

And I get I get the whole mileage aspect of it All right, you wanna get as young as possible To get as much time in this new body as possible But like really the difference between 8 and 16 Is a lot in terms of like Where I'd like to be Versus a little in terms of more years on this earth Here's the other thing

You know that this serial killer Is a real scumbag Sure. Right. Wouldn't you guess that the first thing this guy wants to do when he gets back into a nice flesh suit is go find some tail at some fleabag motel, right? And then murder, sure. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But, you know, pick up a couple of girls, you know. Black Dahlia, all of them. Yeah, do your thing. Then black dahlia them and, like, go on. No, you know. Like, who are you going to go to? The barber? You can't even get a job or, like, rob a, like, you can't even.

get a hotel room as an 18 as an eight year old boy you're stuck in this dumb military school yeah exactly you can orphanage out yeah most i would like i'm 31 now you know getting get not getting up there but older the most i'd ever want to like go back it's like five years maybe tops you know what i mean like i don't want to be fucking i definitely don't want to be 10 years old no no advantages no over 21 at very least yeah yeah very very i'm not giving up to booze i'm never i never do it a fake card ever again. No, no, no, no. We had that part of our lives. It's over with... Did you just spill beer all over

my floor? No, I was it. Oh, all right. It was just I heard a thud. Okay. Seltzer for crying out loud. One of the worst lines of this movie happens in this basement scene, because like, the kid lays down on his back, and he's getting ready to, like, do this spell and

whatnot, which I'm not familiar with what this spell is. It sounds like at some points Brad Durf is speaking French here and there. I don't know what's happening. The first movie, there's definitely Creole voodoo going. All right, so that kind of explains the French sounding part of it. Okay.

But before he does that, before he lays into this spell, he goes, oh, wow, Chuckie's going to be a bro. No, he does that later. He does it. Oh, is it to Andy to taunt him. Oh, is that? Oh, I thought it was in that scene. And it's like, dude, what? Not okay. Oh, that's right. Not okay.

Because he shows up in Andy's dorm room, and he's like, hey, Andy, guess what? Chuckie's going to be a bro. Absolutely not in this movie, sir. Gooo. No, no, no, Kelly Rawlin. Because the kid is African-American. Yeah.

The kid is African-American. I don't think we... That shouldn't matter, but apparently to this movie, it does. Chuckie's real fired up about it. Well, that's the real tension to me. It's like, oh, my God, is Chuckie going to say the N-word? That's going to be crazy. No, but this is what I will give Chuckie some credit for.

It's not like, oh, fuck, I got to be black. You know, because, like, kind of excited by the process. Yeah, right? He's like, all right, like, this is cool. It's going to be a change of pace for Chuckie. Sure. You know, walking someone else's shoes. An equal opportunity possessor? I think that's what we're saying here.

You know, Chuckie doesn't discriminate. However, he can be reborn back into society. You'll take it. Well, he does that, like, white guy thing where, like, the kid, because it would be one thing, if he did say it to the kid, like, oh, great, I'm going to be a bro. But he finds the first white guy he could come talk to and be like, hey, I. I'm going to be a bro. Like, I'm okay with them. But just you and me, we're okay, right?

It's like, no, we're not. Like, you know what, dude? No, we're not. It's the old secret white racist thing that you come across every now and again and it is just the worst. You get an elevator with a white dude. And it's like, hey, we're both white guys, right? It's like, oh, shut out. It's called me when I go back to my hometown.

But yeah, oh, that is, that is, I got the scene wrong, but that is one of the worst lines in this movie. It's like, come on. Come on. It's funny. It's real weird. Well, the thing with this title, so he's, he's supposed to be like eight. But like, do eight-year-old still fucking hang out with like my buddy of me shit? Like, dude, would they really like, would he really be attracted to this?

He seems a bit stunted too, because I mean, he's been military school for five years, a bullied. But he's got a video game. He's got like a Game Boy in the first fucking scene. It looked like a game gear, like a fake, because I didn't remember Game Gear's being that big. It looks like a fucking portable TV. This thing's enormous. And that TV's got. buttons on it. Lugging it around

on his back. He's got a fucking generator. Like, crank. So the colonel bumps in. It's great because Chuckie is the only slasher icon that's afraid of getting thrown in the garbage.

Like that is one of his biggest, like, oh my God, they're going to throw me into fucking garbage. Yeah, Michael Myers does not have this problem. No, he does not. The leprechaun, maybe. Yeah. Yeah, the Lepricon can get tossed in the trash. Those movies are unwatchable.

Yeah, I couldn't get through the first. I watched that first one. It is, oh, but people love it. People do. People enjoy them. There's like, what, seven of those now? Some fucking... At a reboot coming. It's out. It's out. We rebooted with that rassler.

Oh, really? Whatever that little hog swallow. I believe his name is. It's not hog swallow. Where did I get that from? Maybe it is. I don't know what that is. What have I been looking at? A Mapa, Georgia? Yeah, whatever that little...

That guy. Yeah. I think that's him. That's the new leprechaun. No, good. Just at WWE Studios ruining horror movies for the rest of us. Well, because, I mean, Willow, I mean, he was just, I mean, he was over. Yeah, Warwick Davis was done.

He moved on to his, his, uh, Ricky Jervais show. Like, we're, we're having fun with ourselves. So he gets, he gets walked in on while he's doing his little conjuring. He's like, oh, fuck. So I got to go back to being a dog. Here's the thing that they might do this more now with those, like, CGI ones. but you don't you can't do it with the the puppet right it's always like he's alive as like the live puppet and then you cut to something and then it goes back and he's like the doll looking nice or whatever

I would imagine if they have a creative bone in their body they're using computers now to show you like him transitioning back into the doll and it's like a fluid like anime oh wait I forgot you saw bride of Chuckie in theaters weirdly does that happen weirdly what happens is they just really don't do the I'm pretending to be a doll thing that much anymore. Are you kidding me? Yeah, because he's got like zombie makeup. Yeah, like he's like just a killer. Like he's just a killer

doll now. Good great. I think he maybe does it to Jennifer Tilly at the very beginning, but most of the time it's just him fucking killing. Oh, because like Jennifer Tilly's herself and then she gets put into a doll. Yeah, it's a whole fucking thing. Who could possibly give a shit? And that just I did

about to 15 years ago. so he gets walked in on by these two like superior officers who it's the first time we hear that there's like a war games thing getting set up man i love this you know so it's like now general we need to have all these paint balls ready in the artillery room by next week or whatever is happening so they threw jucky in the garbage and he's like stop playing with dolls garbage and i mean like we can just you know we can cut over most of the andy barkley stuff because it's really boring it's boring as shit he gets bullied at school great he's getting bullied it's like it's a little bit of full metal jacket. They even do that this is my rifle, this is my gun bit. Yep. We're doing that. Like, you know, you've got

this little nerdy guys doing his best you know, private, whatever private pile. Yeah, he's kind of the private pile of the group. He's the one you hate Joker. God, I love Vincent Donofro, man. I really do.

Yeah, we can romancing De Silva yeah, yeah. Which is weird because Because she's definitely older. And, like, the actress is about 21, and he was about 17. Yeah. So in that age difference, it's kind of weird to look at because she's like, oh, man, I love this kid. Yeah, because he, I mean, it's not so much the age, the actual age difference.

Because, like, three years who gives a shit. But what is the issue is that the actor who plays Andy is very baby-faced looking at. Yeah, exactly. I said that he looks like Will Whel Whiten. I mean, Will Wheaton now is, like, pushing 50. Will Wheaton has a baby face. Like, this kid looks like a kid. Yes, exactly.

And also Perry Reeves is kind of obsessed with him to the point where she breaks into an office to find his file to find out he was an orphan. Yeah, it's like, you know, I think he's a real interesting guy. I'm going to take a look at his permanent record. And what's amazing, too, she opens it up. And like, the first thing she looks at, she's like, knew it, Foster Home.

Like, come on, does he's like, 10 points. you know what I mean like it's on her little checklist yeah oh oh he's got problems oh spoiled meat well to the age difference thing it's weird because when they they do make out in this movie and it's like that fucking scene and this is England man

it's like ew just kissing your babysitter yeah it's kind of weird but um so no wait so getting thrown in the garbage this is a great scene this is actually the scene from Ninja Turtles that we never get Because Chuckie's in the trash

He's in the trash compactor And he cleverly starts You're like, hey, I'm a man back here Hey, there's a grown man back here Not a possessed doll, everybody Oh my God I'm a veteran Get me out of here

The garbage man is like Oh, I'll save you veteran So instead of like Turning off the truck Which you should do If you're gonna, if you're, listen, all you garbage men out there, if you got to fish a grown man out of your dump truck, okay, turn the dump truck off before you hop in. He stops the gear, but he leaves the thing a running, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah. And so he jumps into this thing and Chucky like climbs out somehow and just closes this man. And I, I've never seen the inside of a garbage truck. It doesn't look like this. Okay, we can all agree that this is a weird, like, hostile to device of some kind. It looks medieval. Like, it's like a rack. It's a spinning, like, spiked cylinder. I'm like, how is this helpful when collecting and compacting garbage?

I'm almost positive. It's supposed to just be another wall. Yeah, exactly. I'm almost positive. You squeeze it together. It's more compressed. You use a hydraulic thing to push one wall against another wall. and you squish the garbage.

So he pulls at Casey Jones and goes, oops, and turns it on, and this guy gets crushed to death, and it's pretty awesome. But also, Chuckie, again, your number one and only priority is getting inside Tyler.

Yeah. That's it. Getting your soul in there and just take it. So don't go fucking killing people. Don't go chasing garbage men, okay? Seriously. Eyes on the prize. You can represent the lakes that you're used to.

All right. Exactly. I mean, it's great because this guy is like putting his hand out. Help me! And it gets like ripped off. That's the best way to do that, right? This movie does get that right. You could just be like, oh, no!

And you just like never see it. This dude gets an arm out and it just gets crushed. Oh, it's great. And then the Ninja Turtles high five each other and mock his death for years. dude they fucking killed i know we say it every episode on this show but the shredder is murdered viciously at the end of that turtle's movie and they just laugh all the way back to the pizza place i think it's like every time they go to like they get like a can of tuna they're just like i think that's shredder

think that's part shredder on there recycle shredder they talk about that shredder more than Al Bundy talks about that football game. Like, it's just every chance those turtles get to bring it up. And it just can be like super tangentially related to whatever someone else said. It's like,

oh, that reminds me. Remember when we killed the shredder? Oh, Don, you forgot to shredder the pizza boxes this morning. Which means throw them in the garbage. So this dude's dead and it attracts the attention of the entire school.

Of course it would. It's awesome. Like they try to like get this dude out or whatever. Nothing really comes of this poor garbage man's death. Again, an investigation would get open. Oh, who did this? Where did this? How did this happen?

It's not an accident. You know what I mean? Like just like the U.S. military man, just covering it up, trying to solve that shit in-house. No thanks. Outside authorities. Outside investigation. So, uh,

Chuckie makes his move on Andy. And, you know, basically he's done making his move on top. And winds up, like, saying, I'm going to be a bro. And everyone kind of throws up. And then he, the, the serge, the kid, Shelton. Shelton breaks in. And he's like, oh, you're playing with dolls, huh? My sister would love a doll.

And he's like, no, but it's an evil doll. And, you know, like that whole thing. Oh, you don't want this one. You know, props to this movie. You're coming out in 1991 where it was the Wild West for homophobic slurs. Yeah, absolutely. This character Shelton could be flinging the F all over the place, not once in this film. Not once do I have to hear that shit.

Pretty impressive. Especially in a military school movie. Almost no epithets. None whatsoever. You know why Jesse the body mature wasn't in this movie. And his infamous, I'm sure, improvised line of dialogue. A bunch of slack-jawed so-and-sos if you get my drift. They didn't let me ad lib as much on the.

the set of Childs Play 3, so I had to walk off the production in protest. I played the Crooked Gym teacher. There's no other role for him than the Cricket Gym teacher. Coach of Braxis. I played Coach of Braxas. I had a pretty great scene where I threw Chucky in the garbage and then called him a slack jawed so-and-so. Because I was pretty sure he was secondish.

That's the Ventura calling card, is slack. Sean, show and shows. Talk about the greatest deleted scene of all time. I don't even think you could find it on YouTube. Arnold had to grab me in the set of Batman and Robin and say, hey, Jesse, cut it out.

You're ruining a real good studio gig for me here, buddy. Man, Jesse the Buddy Ventura in this movie. It would have made this movie better. Absolutely. You don't have to pay that much either. He was doing a Braxus around the same time. If you caught him before Christmas when they were filming that movie, like,

that's something though like how do you not have anybody as like one of these teachers I mean there's like it's just nobody I mean they they must have gone too and they you know what they did probably it's like you'll see this in like sports a lot where you're like in free agency you go after somebody that's really above your weight class and you wind up getting nothing

they went after Arlie Ermey really hard in free agency yeah and just got nobody No. But so there's nobody in this movie. And so the doll's back out of the garbage and it's running around. And also it's important actually to mention that while this, the general or whatever is carrying this doll to the dumpster and he sees him like holding it. And it's like, yeah, I know this doll is mass produced on like a large scale, but that's definitely chucked. Absolutely chucked. Not fooling me for a second this time. Not for a darn second. So Shelton gets it. Yeah. And he brings it into his room and then there's this weird going to break into this guy's room scene.

He's just going to break into this dude's bedroom. And again, like, he's just getting all over him and like he's throwing him against the wall. And it gets, it gets broken up. Perfect opportunity. But you're breaking into his bedroom? Perfect opportunity for a slack job so-and-so. Nothing. So way to go, Child's Play 3.

So this is around the time, you know, to get back at him. Shelton makes everybody kind of. do the we're doing push-ups in the rain because it's like until someone comes clean about who stole my doll barclay we're all gonna run outside in the rain and it's like all these other dudes are like pushing them down like thanks a lot jerk make us run in the rain and this is when desilva breaks into the other thing with her friend who she stole straight from a tiffany mall concert like who is this girl she is not in a military academy right now exactly and we've got mr barbara beefcake And there's no, there's no restriction on women's hair in this, in this fucking institution at all? I feel it's strict ponytails. Like, I mean, you have to at least. Well, yeah, they're not making you G.I.J.N. yourself. No. It's, you know, you're going to get a haircut. But you're not having this, like, ultra hair sprayed, like, scrunchy look. Like, yeah, sideways ponytail situation.

Like, an extra in full house. Like, I guess it's like, because it's after. I mean, she's got a Gibler. She's got a Gibler. And so, yeah, they break into the colonel's office. This is where they're trying to find the, info on Andy and like what he's there because he's playing hide and go seek creepy hide and go seek with this idiot kid just fucking kill this kid's soul already enough with the hide and seek and she puts like makeup all over his face oh it's so great they're like look at this cute doll and they're putting lipstick on his mouth and I'm like Chuckie's gonna have some words about this just you wait so they hear like a rustling and they all run out of this office and here comes this fat colonel. And it's awesome because it's the only time I can recall, like, off the top of my head that someone literally just gets scared to death in a slasher movie. It makes perfect sense.

If I saw fucking Freddy Krueger coming out of my bed, I would have a fucking heart attack. Oh, yeah. Yeah, exactly. And so, like, the dude flips on the light and he's like, what's going on here? And it's just like the doll. And he's like, how's it going? And the guy's like, g-oh. Like, he goes, that's, oh, no, this is what it is.

He does another Jack Nicholson yell. And before he can strike, the dude just starts having a heart attack. And it's kind of funny because Chuck, he's like, oh, you got to be shitting me. I shouldn't have done that fucking scream. God damn it. Now I can't get off. Now this dude's just having a real fat attack.

And he falls backwards into this like battlefield, like, what do you call him? Diorama, you know, that he's like been meticulously doing. It's like house of cards. He's like making these little. Beetlejuice's village. Hey, what's going on up there, man? Oh, shit, a fat guy, run! And he falls through this table and just dies of a heart attack.

And Chucky's just like, all right, well, save me a little bit of energy. Hey, all you nerds on the internet keeping track of my kills, that counts as one for the Chuckster. You put that in your YouTube montage, all right? Yeah, that's making your YouTube video. I don't want that one put under miscellaneous. Or act of God.

Fuck that. I scared him to death. So they kind of just have this like, oh, he's getting carded off because he had a big fat guy, a heart attack. And they dedicate breakfast to him the next day, I guess. That's what we're doing. And this is something that happens a lot in movies. And there's nothing. Well, I won't say nothing.

But there are a few things more humiliating than being tripped in a cafeteria. Oh, it's tops. It's the big one. Right. I mean, that's just. A bad. And everyone's laughing at you and pointing. Because you're not just falling.

You're falling because you got tripped whilst holding food. Oh, it's bad news. This kid literally has egg on his face. And I mean, if it's like spaghetti, it's like the cafeteria spaghetti. You don't want that. That's when it's really bad. So Pervert McGee is like smelling all the kids' hair. This is so weird.

Like he's just going around. And no one is stopping this. Nope. No one has a problem with this. Shelton doesn't have a problem. No, but, like, and he's like, two other adults that are running the school also don't have problems. And they let this, like, this scene goes on. Like, if he had done one or two of them, like, that's a pretty perverted thing to do.

Yep. They, he does it to, like, 12 kids. He is, he is creating a pedophile schedule. Because he's walking around and he's like, come see me on Tuesday. You better come see me on Wednesday. Next Friday, you're in my basement barbershop. It's getting a little long right there. And then he gets to...

Does not touch De Silva's hair at all. He says, nope. He doesn't even look... It looks at it. And keeps walking. And she does kind of like a hair toss too. Like, you don't want any of this. I know.

And then like he gets to what? Or White Stone or whatever is it? Whitehurst. Whitehurst. And he's like, Whitehurst, you look disgusting. You get to me right after breakfast. And it would make sense if everyone got, had a complete chop top. Like everyone, if you don't have a zero,

in barber language, you have to go back to this creep and he's going to get you again. Exactly. But everyone's got a different hairstyle. Some people have Wolverines. Some people have like a little bit of a, you know, buzz, a dead left schrempf, you know, like, if you will. Nice. Very nice. I mean, that's the thing.

Like, full metal jacket, they all have the same haircut. Yeah. And I don't know if it's because like this isn't like actual service. Yeah. You know, it's like it's just a school. So I guess this guy just gets to go Like fun and fancy free with the different styles that he's doing That's something like

So do these kids like Because if I knew that I would not get touched by this pervert I'd be shaving my head daily I would be bicking the thing So did they have like Stockholm syndrome or something? Yeah I don't know They've just been going to this basement barber shop for so long I would make mighty shit

That would make very quickly I would be having my hair Nice and cut and perfect You're just doing it? in the bathroom, like when you go in for a shave, you're like, oh, a little bit came back, just bick that right off. Absolutely not. You don't have to go back to you, Scorpio Killer. I want to get dittled.

So Whitehurst goes down to the barber's shop and he gets his haircut. So like Whitehurst walks out of there and this guy's like kind of sweeping up hair. He already has a Whitehurst sample so he's not going to pick anything up off the floor. He's mumbling about a dead fish. Yeah. And so he's like, you know,

as a school barber, the next thing I should do is start drinking on the job. He opens up this liquor cabinet or whatever And Chuckie's hiding in there for some reason And he falls out And the guy's like You're even littler than Whitehurst You know who else had a drinking problem

Jeff Dahmer Jeff Dahmer loved the sauce He was a party boy is what he was And so he takes this Shot shot shot shot shot shot A Dahmer montage There's a couple of Dahmer montages In that Jeremy Renner Dahmer movie

Just having a good time man So he's like, you know what you need little doll. Well, you need a haircut. What a fucking maniac. Chuckie, who's the possessed doll, like, ew. This guy's a real monster. Like, I know I'm bad, but this guy's a real monster. So he goes, and he's like, just about to, like, start buzzing this doll's head.

And Chuckie, like, grabs, like, a barber, like straight-rate razor, you know. and just cuts this guy's throat. It's a pretty good one. Throat, let's always get me like, oh, you know, it's just that, because, you know, it's all coming out of the hand and it's getting everywhere. Yeah, yeah.

So this dude's like dying, and Whitehurst comes back. Right, it's so good. And he just walks in on this and he's like, oh, there's the barber, and he's clearly has his throat cut, he's bleeding all. Oh, it appears that a doll has done it.

Oh, that's interesting. Well, this guy who I have supreme hatred for is dying in front of me, so let's just pretend none of this happened and just like slowly backs out of the fucking barbers shop. Oh God said this is an angel. Bless that, Chuckie.

We're free from the shackles of this evil barber. But no, he, he, Chucky notices him because he says, he's just, he's like, hi. Yeah, it's like, how's it going? Also, the murder of this barber

not mentioned ever again. No, I mean, because we go right into the war games. But here's the thing. It's like, and the beginning of the war games are like, well, Colonel Jessup would have loved us to have this, whatever. Yeah, you loved a hearty autumn war game. Death or no death. And don't mind about that garbage man that got killed. Yeah.

Those two can't be related. And by the way, the barber was killed. Who cares? Yeah, it's fine. We have early reports coming in that the barber was murdered. But the war games will continue. Do we have, yeah, we have, okay, the sandwiches. are dedicated to the barber.

War games dedicated to the colonel, the sandwiches. A lunch today will be dedicated to the barber. You're too non-white. And so Chucky, I mean, and here's the thing, is like, and correct me if I'm wrong.

I know what a paintball gun looks like. It looks nothing like an actual gun. It's an air rifle that shoots pellets, little balls that are yay big. Because it has to hold balls and not bullets. Yeah, I mean, I think there's ways to do this. Is there, to make a

cartridge into a paintball bullet? Yeah, I mean, because the thing that you're, you're thinking of is like, you know, I can fire like 40 of these or something. And there's a little thing that holds my pal- I could not care less about paintballing, but like you know, there's a thing that holds all your pellets and they fall in and whatever. But this is like

you're trying to simulate like actual training and whatever so you can, I think, get like actual cartridges that will fit into a rifle, like a real rifle. But all that comes out is a painting, I think. Again, I could not care less about paintballing, so I don't know.

But I would imagine that's a real thing. So, Chucky gets into the armory and switches the bullets. Which, where did he get the map to this campus? Where he knows where all this stuff is. He found it as a garbage. Oh, I love down here anyway. Shouldn't have thrown this away. I mean, he's been spending fucking three days on this campus.

He's killed three people. That's true. Which didn't, none of them took that. long. And he's certainly not going to do the thing he wants to do badly. Super low body count in this horror movie, BTW. Seriously. For a third of a slasher

movie, really low body count. You amp them up to keep me coming back. But here's the thing is I think this is, this has the best deaths certainly over the first two. The first two have like no good deaths. Well, yeah, because we haven't got to Whitehurst.

Well, no, no, no. I'm saying the first two movies. Oh, oh, oh, oh, The first two movies, like, I don't remember they're being like a particular like, oh, man, he really got it. Right, right, right, right. Yeah, people get it in this. They get it good. I mean, that fat attack, he falls right through that table. It's amazing.

He met Foley's that table pretty well. So, yeah, he's changing all these paint rounds, like all the cartridges of paint come out, and he's putting live ammo into these things. And again, so the boys are playing, the girls are playing, and the little kids are playing. Little kids, you know what I think the little kids are supposed to be, like, in the Civil War when they had, like, the little drummer boy out front leading the charge, you know, which is, like, one of the worst ideas ever for war. Like, just get a kid out there. Give them a little snare drum, just to walk ahead of everybody. Or like a runner, the guys who would, like, run the memo up to the general. That's what those little kids are for, I think. Yeah. So maybe they'll get shot in the head, too. Oh, man, you know, you ever, like, remember movies? You're like, no one could have ever seen that movie.

which is that World War II Pigeon movie with Ewan McGregor, that animated movie. Nobody, right, no one's seen that. Oh, the Owls of Gahoul? No, no, no, no. It's like, it takes place like there's like a Nazi pigeon and he's a pigeon. Oh, yeah.

No one saw that movie, right? Yeah, yeah. Right into the We All Hate Movies Malbag if you ever saw that movie. Because I really think no one ever saw that movie. Oh, man, I totally forgot about that. Balliant? Yeah, it's valiant.

Absolutely. Yeah, nobody's. Like, I mean, people saw Valiant, but, like, as far as the world cares, nobody saw Valiant. If you have a DVD of Valiant, please take a picture and post that Twitter. I'll tell you. I double dare you. And it doesn't count if you go to a Best Buy. Yeah. There were a couple Southwest Airlines people who have definitely seen Valiant.

That's fair. Valiant. Nazi pigeons. Original title. So it's a capture the flag And Whitehurst Andy and De Silva are on the blue team Little kid is on the red team

And that's like Tyler's the red team And those are the only character Shelton is running the blue team Exactly Yes And he's about to meet his end too So like you know

And it's apparently this war games Is days long So they set up camp for the night Yeah you're making a weekend out of this Yeah And you know And he's like look you know I know

he's going to go after Tyler. I can't let Tyler fall to Chuckie, blah, blah, blah. Right. So let me, let me go save him. Here's my thinking, though. Right? Worst case scenario, Andy. I think I know where you're going. He possesses Tyler.

Sure. Okay. Not your fault. Tyler's been only a jerk to you this entire movie. It's been really obnoxious. Started by stealing your fucking property. Stealing your mail. Yeah. He started by federally offending you. Okay. So like, look, Chuckie gets in there. It's Chuckie in the body of this little kid. It's kind of the same thing as him being in the little nice guy, the good guy doll. Sure. They're about the same size, right? You're in a military camp. Like, you're at this big war games exercise.

A lot of live rounds going around. Yeah. And, you know, oh my goodness. Tyler just done fell off this bluff. So, like, worst case scenario. That's all I'm saying. And you're not a voodoo master. you can't take this soul get Tyler's soul back. The only thing you could do to avenge Tyler at this point is to kill him. Exactly. So my thinking is, why don't you concentrate on De Silva? Yeah, make some moves

dude. This, I mean, De Silva makes her move. She's like, hey, let's leave our army camp and go for a nice romantic walk. And honestly, if they do catch you doing it, killing Tyler? Guess what? You for years now

have been telling everybody who's got two a fucking pair of ears that a fucking doll sent your mom to the fucking crazy house killed her best friend killed a bunch of people you could play this fucking insanity

defense like nobody's business you're doing you're doing two years tops in a loony bin and then you're just out you get a bunch of fun pills for the rest of your life and Chuckie's dead Chuckie's final

Chuckie got what he want and guess what now he's fucking in the ground yep exactly and he ain't coming back now let me ask you this Chris Gavin because you're a huge fan of curse of Chucky or Bride of Chucky or whatever. Bride of Chucky, that's the one you saw.

Wild, yes, wild fan. You're wearing a T-shirt of it right now. I mean, I didn't want everybody to know that, but... I'm sorry. You know, we talk about everything. I understand. Fangoria.com exclusive. It was my fault.

Do they have... Like, does it just start and it's like, now I'm Chucky again? Or is there a resurrection of some kind? Well, I think the... Because... That's the next movie in this series, right? Yeah, it goes, Childs Play 3, then Bride of Chucky.

This one killed the fucking franchise. Bride, Seed, Curse. Got it, got, got, okay. I think, I mean, they actually, I think they might have actually carried over the idea that now he is just the doll. Uh-huh. I don't remember. I believe, like, because he has the staples. He staples part of his face back on.

I think that's what the, because at the end of this movie, he's got half a face. I think that's what happens. I'm not completely clear. you. So, I mean, it's a worst case scenario, Andy, you got to kill a kid. You can plead insanity. You can hook up with De Silva. In the meantime, it's great.

And trust me, your cue will only go up for De Silva if you kill a kid. Oh, it's a child killer. Now we're talking. I thought it was great before that he was just a damaged foster home kid. Now he's killing other kids. De Silva.

So they make out. Like, he does. He's like, Oh, Tyler's in trouble. But De Silva. I'll take a few minutes for De Silva. And she, like, takes... I was up for the role of De Silva. They thought it would be pretty awkward

in the scene where I had to make out with Andy. And I was the one initiating it. I did like the scene where I got to show him how to shoot a gun, though. I do believe that's very important for every American to know. I had this whole backstory where I'd been abducted by UFOs. They cut it right out. So she's like, look at this carnival off in the distance. And what's, I love this.

What I love about this, like, exchange that they have is she's like, look at that carnival off in the distance. And he basically says, like, God, I remember what it was like when life was fun. Like, that's what he's basically saying to this girl. Well, she's just, like, grabbing him by the shoulder. Look at the end of the movie, everybody. Just to stare at it. We'll be down there in five minutes. anyone thinking about going to the bathroom

go now we'll be down at that carnival before too long because the best stuff about to come up oh man so let's just get into it so basically shit gets real chucky kidnaps to Silva Whitehurst rats out that Andy has left so like Shelton the whole gang are looking for Andy

looking for because they think he's a traitor to the red team yes so they're like going after like we're gonna we were gonna move out at dawn but now we're gonna move out in the middle of the night because the red team might capture our flag yeah so they're going out like thinking he's like a double agent in this war game sure whatever

so everybody's like on the move trying to get Andy Barclay dead yeah and so we get to this point where there's like this old junked out car and that's where Chuckie's taking this girl he took Tyler oh Tyler right he's got both of them well he takes Tyler and then Tyler gets away but then he just Silva's instantly

and De Silva is one of the ones that has no reaction to the fact that a doll is talking. Oh, she's got nothing. She's just like, all right? I've been taken prisoner. Well, I'm not turned on by Andy anymore. Oh, God. This is all real. Oh, that just means he's a normal guy.

Oh, son of a bitch. I was really hoping that was an hallucination. Wasted days. So, yeah, so then, like, all of, like, the red team comes for some reason. And it's like, red team and blue team, this doll and this girl in the middle. And the red team's like, oh, no, we're under attack.

And they start firing at the blue team. And it's only the red team that Chuckie's replaced the ammo in. Chuckie's got a grenade, right? That's how he's holding De Silva. Right. And basically he, Tyler is like kind of going to give himself up to Chuckie because he's afraid he's going to kill DeSilva. He's like, look, I'll be okay. Andy, you save me in five minutes.

So they make a swap, right? Yes. DeSilva for Tyler. Chuckie leaves. But not before throwing this live grenade. at all the kids. Oh, man. And you know what?

This is something what's about to happen needs to get set up earlier. It needs to be, there needs to be a class where Whitehurst is like, somebody like, you're such a selfless little shit,

Whitehurst. You'd never fucking go go after a man that went down or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Forever you'll be a coward, Whitehurst. And that's the thing is

the only person who's given about a lot of shit is Shelton, who is a living, breathing asshole. And he's dead at this point too. So the grenade his live is tick ticking away and instead of saying grenade everybody run or just fucking plowing all

these people down with one big heave ho a good old mosh pit crowd push yep exactly he just jumps on this thing and it goes off and poor whitehurst man he just blows up hold out oof oh it's like when you go to the deli and you want them to get like more ingredients in your sandwich so you're like all right yeah i'm gonna get this you know like on a hero can you yeah just hollow out that bread so it's just like a husk of bread with your sandwich you know he just goes up motion too it's in slow mo it's let it all show somebody thought they were all over stone between the sheltered death and the whitehurst death this is like oh man this is the tragedy of war and it's like what are we talking it's 1991 what the fuck are we it's a talking doll movie i mean it is the

platoon of horror movies. I think it was this filmmaker's response to Kuwait. I think it was the deal. So, yeah, he's just in chunks. And they all kind of look like oh my God, who was, oh. I mean, thanks,

Whitehurst, but at least it was Whitehurst. I'm going to send a card. Well, it's great because Gibler starts crying like, oh, he was the only man I ever loved. Yeah. Oh, give me a break, Gibler. with those crocodile tears, man.

Come on. You've had one scene in this movie. Shut up. Well, I think there's the thing is she was an extra in this scene and she was like, you know. And just thought, oh, God, no. Why?

Wait, nobody's crowned the corpse? I'm crowned the corpse. Called it. So Tyler, like, makes his way down to this carnival. Well, he's got a knife at this point. Tyler's sort of, like, we're going to do it in the carnival. We're to play a house.

hide the soul in the carnival. Oh, he's like, well, it's a carnival. So I guess there's definitely a haunted house we can go into. So, yeah, so he like makes him go down or whatever. And then the two of them, the two of them being Andy and De Silva, the

living cast members. The living cast members with more than four lines in this movie. When they're not, the ones who aren't crying over Whitehurst's corpse go down and what is the situation though because like Tyler goes into the lost

and found first. Yeah. No, no, that's what it is. Tyler goes down to the carnival and he goes to the lost and found because Chucky doesn't have him. He goes to the lost and found and he's like, hey, there's a doll trying to kill me. Or like, there's a guy trying to kill me. And like this security guard at this carnival's

like, well, come to my security tent. Well, a kid comes into your tent and says a guy named Chuckie's trying to hurt me. Right. And he's like, kids yeah like it's what this is like your go time man yeah this is your time to shine carnival security guard come on jo it's time to go like and he looks at he like looks at the clothes

that he's wearing he's like oh you're a kent kid huh and he's like yeah but i don't see what that has to do with anything i told you a man's trying to hurt me so he sits him down and he's like oh you're not going to get hurt blah blah blah you know we'll figure out where you belong by the way you might like this this will make you feel better look what i found and he pulls chucky like out of a cabinet and he's like here play with this chucky kills this guy off screen playing the long con here i guess seriously good thing the kid went down there chucky i guess i'll wait here all night oh fuck so then like he went to the denny's across the street god damn it was either the carnival or the denny's well shit and the school's

closed now i'm never gonna find him again so then like to sylva andy come down and they're like hey lost and found security guard we're looking for this kid or no the kid's dead right security card's dead off screen I agree we need a better death with a security guard I need to see it I need to see something going on totally gotta be pretty silly because we only have like four deaths at this point

it's so silly it's so bad and I need a silly death after the fucking shot through the heart and the fucking hero death I need to laugh at murder you know what I mean give me a good silly murder we got really Kubricky in here for a moment. Cissors through the head, something.

Yeah, another barber pun. Sure. So they're like, all right, well, we found a gun in this dude's drawer or something, or they take it off his body. I don't know. Now he's got a gun. Yeah. And they're running around. Then he sees Andy or Tyler holding the doll and they go into the haunted house and Andy's like, oh, well, convenient. It's called the devil's lair, by the way. Oh, it sure is. And they go in there and, you know, it's a lot of like, it's a lot of like, it's a lot of Chuckie being like, all right, we got to find a spot where no one can see us do this. Yeah, over here looks

good. And you're just like, do you know what this sounds like movie makers? Also, this is a very, very, and like, I know that there's like big carnivals in Texas and like down there. This is a very small carnival. This ride is humong. This is like... It puts Space Mountain to change. It's really

insane. It's like... Chili Willey presents Space Mountain. Because it's a little like trailer on the outside and then you walk in and it's space mountains. There's literally a mountain of skulls in the middle of this ride and you're this rick and this rink

five set pieces carnival. So he starts doing this spell again or some shit and like it's always hilarious what it'd have because it's just this little dog going on a new dominie. I'd like clouds start to form. Oh man. Oh man. I am laughing every time. The Ghostbusters

clouds appearing over. over this carnival. Oh, perfect. And I think it's the same, because it happens at the end of the second one, too. And I think it's the same exact effect. Yeah, I'm sure. I think they... You paid for it.

It must be just a little cut and pace. Save that to the computer. So Andy breaks it up or something, and then, like, Tyler runs up this mountain. And then, like, Chuckie's up there or something. They get on top of this mountain. There's this great... There's this grim reaper. It's like, you know, he's always...

It's an enormous grim reaper with the big scythe, and he's always about to get your... little cart in this fucking when you're when you're on this ride why would it be sharp why would this guy be so sharp it would cut a doll's face off like oh man his like doll flesh face

oh it's great now he's just looking like the terminator he does look like the terminator like part of his face just gets cut off by this thing so it's a big like chase up this mountain and everybody's climbing up this thing it's like the end of guts and you're just like climbing up this agro crag because there's like fake smoke

popping out you know there's this weird looking British lady who's announcing what's happening, you know, and like O'Malley's there. They're all hooked to bungee cords for some reason. And also speaking of fucking dangerous things on this little roller coaster,

there's the sharp fucking sky. But then there's an open fan. Yeah. It's really dangerous. Humongous open fan. And it's going to come into, it's going to come in handy. Don't get me wrong. Yeah, we're like 90 seconds away from this happening. But like, you're totally

right, though. Where's the, like, the safety cover that goes over every fan ever? It can still blow the fucking pieces of machete paper or whatever the fuck. Yeah, I know. That's all it's doing. It's machete paper has to flutter like flames. Like, we've been putting little safety grates over fans since before they killed Kennedy.

Okay? Like, what are we doing with this big open? It's not a fan. It's a turbine. I promise you, a gate on every fan. Huge applause. Landslide. landslide victory promises gates on fans so we're like at the top of this thing and he's like

he's got a gun and he's trying to shoot at the doll and here's my question where do you end this like conjuring because he he gets this kid like where he needs to get him he says all the mumbo jumbo but then he like keeps repeating shit yeah well he calls out that's the thing is he calls out he's like give me the power what? And then whatever you say, Prince Adam. And it somehow he still has to do something after saying, give me the power. He just keeps repeat. Like, whatever it is, he just keeps repeating it. And I was like, all right. So he did it. Like, yeah, ritual over. Finish the thing. The clouds are here. I saw the clouds. Like, come on. Isn't that a better ending to? Like, especially like,

this is probably your last movie. He gets this kid and Andy's got to kill this kid. You know what I mean? Maybe he even, maybe we get a nice end of monster at 80,000 feet where he's on the fucking gurney and he's like, oh, it's the doll, and they close it and like, oh, that guy's dead. You know what I mean? Yeah. Or, I mean, listen, it's like, oh, Andy,

thanks for saving me. I can't believe how stupid I was with that dumb Charles doll, blah, blah, blah. And then, like, they go their separate ways and then like this little kid just starts laughing like Brad Durif. Cat eyes! Yes.

Then you get cat eyes. Turn cat eyes Brad Durif laugh. That's it. That's what you want. Or it would be even better. Like, he accidentally does it. Like, they're just walking. And the kid, like, stubs his tone.

He's like, oh, oh, he's like, what did you say? And he's like, oh, nothing. No, no, no. And then cat eyes. And then bride of Chucky? Dennis Hayesbert. Man, that would be great. Oh, wow.

Oh, yeah, no, yeah, I want that. The nicest serial killer of all time, Dennis Hayesbert. so he rassels with this faceless doll and you know he shoots him or something the doll just falls off into those turbines gets nice and ground up like talk about ground chuck am I right and it's not even

that's terrible sorry it's not even the slasher movie where like maybe you think he's dead and there's one last scare or something nothing like it's just because he does have the physiology of a person for no reason so he's got none of the advantages of a person

and all of the disadvantages yeah exactly he can still be chopped up decapitated whatever like he bleeds he gets shot he's like oh shit you know oh i got shot oh i was two days before retiring into that kid's body i kind of wanted this to end like

the end of king of new york he's just got a bulletin his gun he's just walking through the fucking cars what is astounding about how they end this movie though is like Tyler's like Thanks for saving me, Andy. By the way, that was really crazy.

And Andy's line is something like, like, don't worry, Tyler, I've been here before. And they put Andy in the back of a police car. Oh, do they? Yeah. You would think it's like they both got some blankets on them. He and De Silva share a kiss. De Silva got hurt at some point in the movie.

It doesn't really matter. She's like, go on, Andy. Because she's like the tough one that she's... Oh, Chuckie's got a gun and she shoots. She gets shot by him. Yes. Like in the leg or something. and you know like she's the one that taught

Andy had to shoot and all that stuff this is what I want I want like you know it turns out De Silva's okay yeah like the ambulances the fire trucks like everybody's there and like you know Andy and De Silva like share a kiss and it's kind of like you know he's going to take

Tyler under his wing and then just like die hard right we pull up to this very high angle shot of the whole scene and it's just well the weather outside is frightful and that's just like it's the credits like that's it this dude is going to jail or it's like die hard with a vengeance and they have to go to canada for five more minutes he shoots chucky out of a

helicopter oh and that's that's it i've been here before i guess that means doing time and it's just we cut to some we we don't even cut it's just the the credits just start rolling over this poor fucker going to jail it's like bero of the carnival like there's a garbage picker like it's It's really stupid He's sweeping up a spotlight Like come on Movies over folks Time to go home

Sweep sweep Lights go off on the carnival Is the snack bar still open John Lovitz comes out It's just what a boner of a sequel This movie man Yeah it doesn't I mean the thing is I don't know

Really what Especially from the first movie Like what The rules of the whole franchise was supposed to be. They should have given him. There aren't any... Yeah.

There should have been like a new motive or a new kid or something. I mean, there is a new kid, but like, we're just going through whatever. Yeah, I mean, this is kind of like you're like you have an older version of your character. It's like Nightmare 3 when like Heather Langenkamp comes back and she's like, I know what's going on. These kids are being messed with by Freddie. Like, I'm here to help you.

Like, that's essentially what this is. It's like, oh, I know that this kid's coming. You know, Chuckie's coming. after this kid, like, I got to help him out, like, the seasoned veteran of the other two movies. Yeah, and I mean, that's the thing, is that he's still spooked by this fucking, and like, and if anybody's

tangled, he's killed him before. Yeah, yeah. He should be a little tougher, I feel. Yeah, he should be a bit more Sarah Connor Terminator 2. Griseled. Yeah, yeah. He needs to be a little bit of a grizzled hard apple. That's exactly right. And then the funny thing is, I've been, like, talking shit about all these sequels. I know I'm going to seek him out

and I'll watch him. I just am. I mean, that's the way I roll. The fucking thing that, never makes sense. The whole fucking issue is that he doesn't want to be trapped in the body because once he gets trapped in the doll, he can be killed as the doll.

Right. But then when you get killed as the doll, you don't really die. Yeah. I guess people just sweep up your parts and melt you down and build you back up again. And then a few drops blood and that's it. You're fine. No, yeah, it doesn't work.

Give me something better. I mean, I would have liked, I think this movie it's a total recommend for me because it's a lot of fun it's stupid yeah I think I need like two to three more creative deaths yeah yeah in the middle of this movie in the saggy middle of this movie where we're just

going through like the military school stuff like just something I mean I thought that the the guy because they do have a very long scene with Tyler and this guy who sorts the mail yeah and I was certain he was going to get something yeah totally I mean they give Tyler like

a little bit of backstory they're like you know your dad's flying jets over whatever, you know, like he comes from a military background, I guess. But yeah, because that guy is sort of fatherly like, well, hey, Tyler, what are you doing? You want to deliver some mail? Yeah, like they fucking, you know, they, he goes and asks like, oh, where is, you know, McGillicuddy? And then, you know, letter opener right in the neck. Yeah. You got to, you got to show me McGillicuddy getting it, man.

And I mean, I will recommend this as well because I think it's the best of these. And it's not good, but it has, A, the most creative deaths. B, it does go along pretty quick. Yeah. It never sags too much. And it's probably got, I mean, and I hate to admit this, but it probably has the better jokes of the whole thing. Like, the heart attack is pretty hilarious.

I would recommend this movie for the heart attack alone, because it is the best. There's nothing better than someone literally getting spooked to death. Like, that's what happens. And he does have a good... Oh, come on. Which is... I mean, that's...

I mean, yeah, the comedy in this is good. And I understand, like, people watch these movies for the comedy. Like, that is one of these franchises. That's what you're here for. So, I mean, what I've seen of this franchise, which is now two of these movies... Like I said, I didn't see the second one.

But, yeah, I would recommend this movie. I'm sadly going to seek out the others. Oh, no. Because I've been on this weird completus, Ben. Like, I suffered through... all of those howling movies. I super suffered through all of those Hellraiser movies.

I'm just going to do it. And I'm probably going to suffer some more. And it's going to be my own fault. Well, I mean, at least you called quits on leprechaun. Oh, yeah. That's... Because that's a week. That's a long week. If you can barely get to the first one, there's no reason to go through any of the others.

Although, I'll say with my love for iced tea, I might check out that leprechaun in the hood. Yeah. Because ice tea's in that movie, isn't he? I think. One of the fellows. Well, then there's also, like, he goes to space. Sure. How's that leprechaun getting in space?

He's not getting a space. And how's a pot of gold? How are these sneaking a pot of gold on a fucking space shuttle? Very, very true, Chris. That's Child's Play 3 from 1991, directed by Jack Bender. That concludes the Halloween Sputacular, 2014. I'm very sad about this. All of our sequels worked out.

By the way, possible subtitle, I saw it a couple places of this movie, was look who's stalking. Childs Play 3, look who's stalking. It's not in the movie proper. Yeah. But maybe it's cut out of... It's where they released it in Romania. Look who's stalking.

They were like, you know, Romania really loves those John Travolta, Gusty Alley movies. Maybe we'll trick them into thinking it's one of those. But then I do feel like you need to have the proper

look who's talking poster with him like looking over a little sunlides on. He's got a little neon blue sunglasses on. You want more information about we hate movies check out our website whhmpodcast.com like us on Facebook and follow us on Twitter

we're at WHM podcast right into our mailbag we all hate movies at gmail.com where do you stand on some of these shittier less popular horror franchises rate review the show whether you get it in iTunes or Stitcher however you download us take two

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So your calls possibly being selected. And if you want one more chance to celebrate Halloween with us, come check us out at the Jacob Burns Film Center this Friday, October 31st. Burnsfilmcenter.org for tickets. So until next week with the Swingin' Sixties, I'm Andrew Jupin. Chris Gavin. Steve and say that. Take it easy.

Halloween 3, Season of the Witch, the night no one comes home.