We Hate Movies - S5 Ep200: Red Heat

Episode Date: April 21, 2015

On this very special 200th episode, the gang's all here to discuss two of their favorite show-fodder actors, Arnold Schwarzenegger and James Belushi in Walter Hill's Chicago-set, international incident-causing, blowhard-blabbering Red Heat! Just marvel at how good this film makes the Soviet Union look! And why was Jim Belushi chosen as the ambassador for America in this? PLUS: Check out that nude bath house fight! Red Heat stars Arnold Schwarzenegger, James Belushi, Peter Boyle, Larry Fishburne, Brion James and Gina Gershon; directed by Walter Hill. WHM would definitely not have gone this far were it not for listeners like you. We're so excited to hit this milestone, but even more excited for what's to come. Thanks so much for listening and continue to help us spread the good WHM word! Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

Hello, Manger Jupin. Eric Siska. Steven Sadek. Chris Cabin. And this is the 200th episode of We Hate Movies. Hello, everyone, welcome to We Hate Movies on the Sideshow Network. Thank you for tuning in, as always. Thank you for joining us on what is we all think a very special occasion,

the 200th episode of this fair program. And we did this 200 times, and I just called myself Chris Cabin on one of the opening. I really do feel violated by this whole thing We had to take the opening of this show three times Once because Steve said he was Chris And then the second time because Steve turned his microphone off Baton a thousand Yeah, oh yeah, here comes every day

Here comes quality entertainment, ladies and gentlemen So we figured what better way to honor a milestone Then make fun of Jim Balushi With our new pal Arnold Schwarzenegger Who's been on a couple times now Yeah This is me, Arnold Schwarzenegger. And this is Red Heat from 1988,

directed by the great Walter Hill. Walter Hill, man. Walter, fucking Hill, dude. What happened? Walter Downhill. Was that easy? Yes, that was good. Just because it's easy doesn't mean that it's bad.

Oh, good. I'm glad that wasn't bad. So, I found that joke in the garbage. Yeah, I was just sitting out there in the trash, and I said, let me dust it off and bring it in. It's perfectly good joke. just got to pick up a little piece of corn off of it. Yeah, you know, it's like

when you find a perfectly good toothbrush in the trash, you know? You just got to shoot some mice away from it. I said, get out of there, mice, that's my joke. I wrap up garbage as Christmas presents. Also jokes. And I put it in for tots. Yeah, and sometimes I mail it.

I don't know why my daughters don't speak to me no more. Oh, wait, yes, I do. So, Eric, what is this movie about? Well, this movie about Arnold Schwarzenegger plays a Ruski, I think is the technical term.

And he's chasing a criminal to a faraway land known as Chicago. And the name's Danco. Ivan Danco. It has to be Ivan, doesn't it? Yeah. Well, I kept thinking Rick Danko,

the bass player from the band. And I was like, that guy always seemed pretty nice. No, but this guy's a real hard apple. This is when Arnold Schwarzenegger's playing a robot, when he shouldn't be playing a robot? He's like, I am Soviet, so now I'm a robot, too. And this was four

years after the Terminator, so you think he could have toned that shit down a little bit? He has like two smiles. Like, Soviet people smiled, right? I mean, I... No, we do not smile. Absolutely not. I was six when the wall fell, but I think they smiled. Not good for national image. But still, his

face is much more expressive here than it is in sabotage. Well, that's because he can fucking move it still. Yeah, like, I can see his cheekbones doing things at points rather than just like splastered. Well, he looks like two million bucks in this movie. Let's just get that right out of the way. And I think that's a great

place to start because we start in this weird men's bathhouse slash gymnasium. And I guess because it was like a real gay panic, it was like, oh, you know what, I can pepper and some babes in there. There's some nude women swimming. But everybody else is just

fucking pumping iron. It's like the fall of the Roman Empire. the fuck is going on here? And maybe that's a good analogy, right? Because it's, the Soviet Union's about to crumble. I guess that's true, you know? And this is like this colligula gym. And also, Arnold Schwarzenegger looks like a monster in this thing.

It looks like the Hulk. There are 500 beefcakes, like, just wedged into this one room. It was a real, what am I watching situation? Because I'm watching it, and I'm like, oh, man, I hope nobody comes home. Where do we get a few more ladies in the shot? It is weird Because it's just like all these beefcakes And then it's just like

Man, just a little pair of titties in there And it's Bob Vila making a mountain side Oh yeah Maybe a little pair of titty Bob Ross Bob Ross Bob Vila was this old house

Bob Vila's gonna build you a nice pair of tits All right Build you a nice gay bathhouse too A good colligula gym It's a weekend at Home Depot I can get you a gay bathhouse For under $1,000 Bob Vila has a YouTube video

How to Build Your Own Colligula Gym here's step one but also why can't the babes be working out and they're just like bathing it's like I guess like the Soviet prison gym version of like TVs at gyms now like that's your entertainment to distract you from

working out is just it's a bunch of babes well TV hadn't been invented yet in the Soviet Union as I understand it from history that is how it worked I think yeah yeah if this movie would teach you anything it's that it's just no culture it's just this sterile

dirt, evil environment. To be fair, though, this is a very pro-Soviet movie because America is Pigtown, right? Everyone's absolutely. And everyone's just gross and it's crime rampant everywhere and Jim Belushi is our fucking eyes and ears. A representative of America. Yeah, he's the American ambassador in this movie. Thanks a lot. All right, close your eyes.

And I mean, this goes from 1982 all the way to now. Who would you rather be, Arnold Schwarzeninger, Jim Ballouche? Arnold Schwarzen. Arnold Schwarzen. You're in better movies. You're constantly in better shape. Yeah, you're kind of like weird politically. Yeah.

But it's because you're like a fiscal conservative and that's fine. Here's the thing. He was a politician. Jim Belushi hasn't run for office that I know of. And if he does, holy Toledo. Let me tell you to come out of his mouth. Well, I'll say this, the city of Chicago. If Rahm Emanuel can do it, he can skate through that whole thing.

Well, to be fair, though, if you're Jim Belushi, you don't have the blood of the California drought on your hands. So you know, everyone just drying up in the streets. I bet they're hoping for blood, though, dude, because you could get water out of blood. You could separate that. Drink that. I remember that from Tank Girl.

Oh, are they doing that with blood and Tank Girl? Oh, yeah. That's how they get their water is they bleed people dry. Ice T's like a rabbit monster in that movie. Is that correct? With a kangaroo tail. Oh, it's more a kangaroo. Yeah, he's more marsupial than man. Yeah. Yeah, it's bad.

He's real bad. Does he have a pouch? He does have a pouch. He also has a bandana on because he's super cool. Does he keep it? Does he have a little Joey in his pouch? Yeah, like a protein bar, just in case. So the whole thing is Arnold's partner is assassinated during this raid.

Well, no, no. He's assassinated the next raid. There's two raids back to back. Oh, well, there's the naked fight raid. That's just straight up stolen in Eastern Promises. Oh, yeah, Paging David Cronenberg. Well, you know what? Good for Cronenberg, though, because way more cock in that fight.

Yeah, you didn't have Sven Ole Thorson's thing everywhere. He didn't do with a wide enough lens. I could have used that. A secondus's dick in this movie? Yeah. Absolutely. Spend Oliver Thorson's one of the other guys that, like, get to do it with Schwarzenegger. Well, because I feel like it was a thing when Arnold was, like, at his peak in the 80s, he was like, yeah, all my friends were being all my movies.

So, like, Sven Olthorthorson's just hanging out. He's totally just an extra. I know, he's like, this is my... My entourage. Here's my turtle. Oh, Sven, you're so crazy. You're definitely going to put party animal turtles Holy Thornton in my movie.

He is in love with sneakers and raw meat. Can I just say I couldn't give less of a fuck about that entourage movie? Who could? Who cares? Who cares? Okay, so, all right, so we're doing, would you rather, as you know, Arnold Schwarzenegger Jim Belushi, would you rather watch the entourage movie or be dead for all time?

Oh, I'd go right in the grave. Watch the entourage movie? Yeah, I think he's got the right idea. Well, I'm like the age I'm at now when this decision comes to me. Yeah, yeah. All right, I guess I'll watch the entourage movie. You're going with the other one? Yeah, I'm probably, I'm pulling the trigger.

Well, the worst of 2015 is right around the court. Well, we'll see how that could turn. Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. Just sucking our own dicks in that movie. as if fucking 200 hours of television of Suckiero Dick wasn't enough It wasn't, it was not

You need your Ari feed Yeah, Lloyd, we need the money shot I feel like you know a little too much about that show I know a character's name I watched two seasons I watched until they were like You're not gonna ever like Martin Landau's like You're not gonna do that Joey Ramon movie now

And you're not gonna do it ever And I was like well that would have been so cool so see you later show. Yeah, he's a real piece of shit in that show. Oh, yeah. I was watching it during the, oh, man, he's going to be Aquaman. That's kind of exciting. That'll never happen.

They'll never be Caldrago. It's Aquaman. How are they thinking he could get beefed up enough to play that? Didn't he, did it on the show? They did. Yeah, I think that they were doing it. They did it, right? No, they definitely did it.

And it was like, oh, it made more money than Spider-Man. What you hear they were a big deal? Yeah, right. Because, of course, it did. It was a bigger hit than, Spider-Man. Queen's Boulevard, bro. Queens Boulevard.

And then he wants to play Pablo Escobar for a while. Oh, forever he wants to play Pablo Escobar in every scene. Speaking of Pablo Escobar, what does Arnold find in this in this, in this, this. Oh, when he raids this Georgian bar, this Georgian nationalist bar. He fights, the opening scene is actually kind of useless. You should combine them into one because he fights.

He fights Van der Le Thornton in the snow. He like punches him through a brick house. I will out naked you. Nobody has cock who look better than mine. I have no flop. You have too much flop. Oh, my fists are useless. They've been beaten to a pulp.

I'm going to have to use my unit. And then that's how he gets... Dude, if there was a movie where Arnold Schwarzenegger beat someone to death with his penis, I would watch it once a week for the rest of my life. Of course. I think it was a deleted scene of Commando. He is running out of standards. It might happen next year.

Not this year, but maybe next year. sabotage, too. Yeah, sabotager. Sabatager will totally have some cock beating in it. So, Sven only turns, like, he's at this bar, go get it. And he's like, okay, cool. I'll see you at the real bar later, bro. I'm glad you got a free trip out of this.

It's kind of crazy. Yeah, someone had to pay for him to fucking fly to set. It's like, do you really? We're just going to hire local extras. No, no, no. You want to be disappointed. Hey, that actor, get Sven one of the girls. Get him one of the girls.

truth behind it was that Sven was a stunt man that became, yeah. Right, right, right. And he's great, by the way. He's fucking Secundus is awesome. He's definitely way better than Turtle. Most things are way better than Turtle. So, they go to this bar, this Georgian bar, and it's him and his partner, and

Eric, who's playing piano at this bar? Oh, I think this is Tom Waits. It's as if Tom Waits was overweight, right? It's like a fat... Yes, it's Tom overweight. This bar, like, it's one of those movie bars where you're like, that place

smells. Oh, yeah. There's a lot of, like, cat shit on the floor kind of a bar, you know what I mean? Mushrooms are, like, growing in corners. Yeah, you want to go outside to go to the bathroom. You don't want to use their bathroom. It's like one of those hoarder's things where there's just a hole in the wall and you're like, aren't you going to get that fix? Like, no, because that's

where garbage goes. And there's, like, books everywhere, but there are books that nobody in their right mind would ever read. You can't open some of them, because they're stuck shut. Yes. And he comes in, and he's like, I know that the drugs are in here, so we're going to go downtown. And they're like, you know, you're always picking on Georgians. You're a racist. And he, like, throws, he body slams this dude.

And then goes and, like, twists and rips his leg off. And you're like, what the fuck? Because it's the 80s. Oh, Schwarz's like, yeah, it's this kind of movie. I saw him naked almost. And he's definitely physically powerful enough to do that to a real person. Oh, just cracking it like a chicken bone. Yeah, and sucking the marrow out.

Unfortunately, there's no marrow to suck because it's a fake leg, but there's drugs stuck up inside it. Cocaineum. Loose cocaine in someone's leg. Ew. Yeah, I want to put that up my nose. Isn't Coke supposed to be glamorous? I've never done it, but isn't it supposed to, like, fill you with a sense of glamour and, we could, like, it's like watching

entourage. Well, in this case, it's like if entourage was a drug. Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. Well, this is the only case where you could get a splinter from sniffing cocaine. Can you imagine a piece of wood goes to your fucking brain because you're snorting leg coke? More people quit Coke because that guy's like,

okay, you want some cock here. Here, let me just pull these off. He just gets a fucking gravy hand and smashes on the table. He's like, a $20. You know what, dude, I'm going to rehab. Thank you for saving my life. Switching to weed.

Vince Neal should have met that guy. All those dudes should have met that guy. So he tries to take these dudes downtown and then like a shootout starts happening, I believe. Is that what's going on? We're running all over the place. It's like sort of on location Moscow, but not really. They did secretly film in Red Square at one point.

Oh, did they really? Yeah, they like, they didn't get a permit to. so like Arnold and the other character that's in that shot with him like kind of just got in costume and like walked up to Red Square and then they used a camera pretending it was like tourist home movies

isn't that is that the end shot which is so bizarre like it's out of nowhere and it's like this yeah it does look like the home movie there's that one and then there's one like in the beginning like just for like two seconds

where he's told he has to go to America yeah so yeah just a big shootout his partner's murdered and then this dude escapes who's like the head drug dealer or whatever yeah

Victor, he's got a Travis Bickle sidearm thing, you know, where a little, like, robot hand thing. Oh, it's like a drawer, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, yeah, I have a few. Oh, me. You can, yeah, you can use a drawer to make that. Bob Vila can actually help you make a couple of those for under $100. Just go to

Home Depot on a Saturday? Figure it out. You just want to get some WD40 and get the hinges. That's just what you want. You just want it on the hinge. Don't get it on the actual draw part because then it's going to slide off. Your guns going flying. I'm going to tell you, These canisters, they don't cost nothing.

So save yourself a pretty penny and use just for what you need. Here's another one word tip, coupons. So it's like, all right, you got to go to America and go get him. Cut to surprisingly not Fat Guy John Candy music. Yeah. But it's like enough of a jazzy, like with sleaze jazz. Oh, yeah. And you're like, all right, you're in the heart of Scuz Town.

It's like your standard Ninja Turtles opening, like, do, do, do, do you know, like you're seeing people like, load shit onto trucks and so on it's like rap bucket drums behind a big fat fucking saxophone yeah oh yeah there's a lot of saxophone in this movie thank the heavens and so we're introduced to jim bellushi and he's on a raid if i'm remembering this right it's him it's it's um some unknown white guy who's dead meat partner yeah he's a dead meat PD well actually before they go in for that raid they're staking out the place oh my god yeah yeah This was how he would be introduced.

Yeah, you're right. And he's leering at a woman saying inappropriate things. Is it fun bags? I thought it was fun bags. Fun bag patrol. I think there's a homegrown. Yeah. So it's like you see this babe and it's just a babe like walking across the street.

You haven't seen anyone yet. It's just a babe in Chicago. And then it's Fun Bag Patrol. And you're like, oh, right. It's a Jim Belushi movie. I give her a 9.3. What do you think? Larry Fishburn.

And he's like, I'm trying to be professional. Like, they're getting pissed off at him. And he's like, no, I think, I think, I think, listen, I think those are some homegrown hooters she has there. You're not, you can't, money can't buy those. Look, if I use my hand on Gallagher here, and you yours, your hand on Larry, and Larry uses his hand on me. It's like, she's doing it to us. And we just all look at her, all at the same time. And they're like, we're police officers.

I used to do this with my buddies back in college. You know, you strike out a couple of times a night, and you know, hey. Called it to the old Alabama Slam. You put a video cassette on. It's like the same thing. Your fraternity brother's jerking you off in a dark living room. That sums up fraternities. The best four years of my life.

Got more action than I ever did. And they say that you need lubrication. I got to tell you, it's good not to have lubrication. Two words, possibly one. Spit shine. Friction. One word. Oh, my God. Well, that's it. Good night, everybody. That was the 200th episode. This is actually, by the way, this is the last episode.

It would have to be. So Larry Fishbird's like, hey, you're human garbage. He's like, what? Hey, I'm just having fun. And he's just like, why? And basically, like, the middle cop, dead meat cop is like mediating because, you know, when they're going up the stairs to raid them, he's like, pollution. I just don't think that guy likes me.

He's like, because your personality's for shit. You know, it's like, you're a real awful monster. We're working right now, and you're talking about fun bags. I mean, that's not, no. So then he's like, all right, well, if you won't let me say fun bags, let's get a little racist. Let's go arrest those clean heads. Well, clean heads, I think, is part. As a gang.

It's like Mr. Clean. Right, because they're all shaved heads. Yeah. Did they call themselves the clean heads, or is he calling him clean heads? It's the thing. I think it's just the name the police have given these gentlemen. No dude in the gang ever says clean heads. I think Victor refers to them as clean heads as well, though, because he's working with them.

But I don't think they ever refer to themselves as clean heads. It's interesting. Yeah, I don't know. It's still just a little racist. Oh, this movie's a lot racist. This is the easiest part. It gets worse. It's all downhill from here.

Yeah, this is a gray area. There's hard black area. later. Yeah. So they go in, they raid this place. It's like a little bit of a drug den. There's some arms going on. There's a shootout. And it's right away, you know, from like the first dude who gets shot to shit in this

movie, he really gets shot up. There's squibs everywhere. You're like, oh, all right, this is like a hard-ar action comedy. Okay. That's Walter Hill. I mean, 48 hours has this kind of death as well. Yes. So they arrest all these people. We're taking everybody downtown

I guess is the idea. Yeah. Two or three people are dead already because it's a Walter Hill story. And he's got this one guy. Belushi, you know, he was fight this one guy. Yeah. And he's like, you look like Marvin Hagler. I lost money on him. I'm going to take it out on you.

And it's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, everybody. Black boxer Marvin Hagler is what's going on here. He's yelling at this guy. Yikes. Also, the movie never like expands on Jim Belushi's possible gambling addiction in this story? It's a hard reality that they just ignore. Which is amazing because as we've said on the air before, there is nothing better than degenerate gambling in movies. Oh man, it's just the most pathetic thing. The saddest sacks of shit in the movie world. So we go to the police

state. Is this where there's an amazing moment? I think it's here. They're getting everybody in the station and like some woman walks by Jim Belushi like in the hallway and he's like, hey, how's it going? And she just goes, blow yourself. And he's like, oh, thank you very much, I will. That's when he's going to pick up Schwarzenegger at the airport. Oh, is that what it is? And he's just chomping on this bag of popcorn and then just starts, like, yelling at these women. Well, he's like, oh, hey, honey.

And she's like, you fucking blow yourself, dude. He's like, oh, excuse me, Miss Pris. Then he calls up his old college buddies. Yeah, exactly. Strike out, you got to call up your college. You're never going to guess what happened. Oh, you guessed it. Yeah, I struck out.

So, yeah, so they're the chief, the commander of this department, played by Peter Boyle, R-I-P-D, and he's useless in this movie, unfortunately. Not useless, he's wasted. You're wasting a resource in Peter Boyle. He's a total snowball. Like, it's just, like, soft, like, the first time he meets Schwarzenegger, he's like, I have to have the fish here, because I look at the fish, and it calms me. I'm a character. And I don't understand it, because, like, I want to. lethal weapon chief.

Well, I think that's the gag, right? It's like, in the last movie that we didn't see, he was always blowing his top. But this time around, he's like, yeah, you know, life's too short. I'm Peter Boyle. But it's just kind of a passive, not fun thing to watch. And he was also, you know, once they get Schwarzenegger in this office with him,

and they're talking, he's talking about meditation and whatnot. And he's like, what do you cops in the Soviet Union do to unwind vodka? Yeah. You got to have that vodka. Yeah, you got, yeah, you got to make that joke. It's shockingly only once. Yeah, that's true. Shockingly, only once.

He never gets shithouse in this movie. No, like, that's, you need a scene where they're just pounding. He's like, yeah, you have vodka in the Soviet Union. Here in Chicago, we have old style. You can get it for a dollar a pint. And they just go and they get shitty at some, like, you know, nice little bar, like a nice Chicago bar. No, it doesn't happen because I'm a cybernetic organism. I'm a learning computer

He never wants to have sex in this movie He never wants to eat Drink Go to the bathroom I don't think he showers He does shower in one scene Oh yeah He's taking a nice looking shower

In like a flop house though So it's like as nice as a flop house shower He can get So Peter Boyle's like All right everybody Like this is the situation You know You have to go

It's Jim Belushi You and take dead meat go to the airport, pick up this guy it's got to be an easy one and done transfer we got at some point Victor is pulled over for like a tail light and they find a gun in his car or some shit and he gets arrested. All off

screen. All off screen. He gets arrested. It is off screen. Okay. Because I was watching it and I've seen this movie before. Yeah. And I was watching it today and I was like did I just miss that? Was I know I didn't get up to go to the bathroom and I didn't fall asleep. I know I'm on my phone like taking notes for the show and whatever but it is off screen

because it's the first of two major things in this movie that happened totally and completely off screen. Yeah, he gets arrested off screen. Oh, okay. Because in the beginning, when he gets to America, you see him he's working with this gang. And they're like, oh, shit, things are already happening. And then like, oh, he got arrested.

You didn't see that. Sorry. Oh, you missed it. Trust us. He got arrested. So they're like, go get Arnold Schwarzenegger at O'Hare. You know, bring him back here, prison transfer. And then, you know, we can get on with our lives.

Safe as can be. So Arnold shows up to the airport. and Jim Belushi is just a prick from Jump Street to this guy. And it's like, you know, your relationship with this guy and your job and your life could be a lot easier if you weren't a fucking asshole from the second you see this guy. I think the second thing he says to him has, it's like, oh man, do you have anything red there? Oh, Jesus Christ. I'm like, man, you're starting out with that one. And yeah, this is where the blow yourself line happens at the airport.

So they're like, oh, we're going to put you up at this hotel. And he's like, no, take me to the hotel where Victor was staying. I want to stay in the exact same room as my enemy, which I don't quite understand the motivation. I'm a learning computer. I will learn from the environment. I will mind meld with my nemesis. Do you think that's what's happening? There is Victor as a due presence.

I will find out what it has to say. Analyze. Analyze. Victor has VD Victor You better make contact with everyone You've ever had sexual intercourse with You're also on the verge of type 2 diabetes

You are what they call pre-diabetic There's this great moment When like Arnold gets into this seedy Hotel room And he's like settling in And he turns the TV on It's like a coin operated TV And pornography just

comes on and it's just this chick moaning and he just looks and he's like capitalism what man no he's right man it's fucking sleazy business capitalism I'm surprised Belushi's like oh man you're missing the best part you're gonna waste a whole court

to get out of the way Walter recut this seat Walter you're missing all the great stuff you know I think it would be pretty spot on if my character ran up from the street because he heard pornography play oh is that pornography

me, Cannonball. He jumps on the bed. Hey there, Arnie, you got a big paws, so go easy on my. You don't want me to rip it off, huh? A Russian head shake, huh? It's go, you guys are training all them bears out there,

isn't it? Your big claws. You're making me want to ride a unicycle. Wow, if they're This is what it's like, I'm going to go join the circus. Oh, that's disgusting. And so, like, he just basically, you know, he sleeps in the first night.

There is, like, money involved. His Russian, his Soviet superiors were like, look, bring him back, but also find out what's going on. Because obviously, you know, all this fucking cocaine's coming in from the West. It's destroying our culture. Blah, blah, blah, Gorbachev, Gorbachev, Gorbachev. We can't look weak in front of the Americans. Yes. Don't tell anybody anything. That's, yeah, right. That's the thing they're keeping secret.

They don't tell the, like, Chicago PD the, like, laundry list of charges that are wrecked up against this guy. So they're like, you know, Arnold, like, just get this dude out of here as fast as possible. And then we'll go shoot him in the back of the head. You know, once we get them back to the motherland. Also, an amazing moment here when Arnold comes in the next morning to the police station to, like, be explained with, you know, the briefing or whatever with Peter Boyle. Jim Belushi is shown, and this is the biggest fucking laugh of the movie,

is shown playing chess, and I'm like, yeah, right. It's like this little travel magnet chest that he's got. And of course, because Arnold Schwarzenegger is, A, a learning computer, and B, Soviet, he's like, oh, Queen to Bishop Six, and you win in two moves. And he's like, I get it, Ernie. I am the computer that bested Kasparov. And he's, yeah. I am Watson's grandfather.

and uh yeah jim balushi loses that chess game i think he makes some like reference to it yeah i lost you lost to myself yeah who is agreeing to play chess with this character that's what i want to know zero people so it's the prison transfer they take up to like the bus station and they're like okay everything's going great and then this gang shows up and the clean heads

they're yeah they're dressed as guards or something yeah it's a real diehard with a vengeance situation. Belushi's like, all right, my job's done. I'm going to go get a sandwich. And it's like, well, all right, cool, dude. And his partner gets murdered because he's off his guard. Shot, like, right in the heart, man. It's

brutal. I love it. And, you know, Schwarzenegger gets taken down. There's a key, man, oh man, the macuffin of this key. Who are you going to get the key? The key, the key, the key. Are you the key, key master? No, I'm gozer. Are you the gatekeeper?

He's a friend of mine. Take me to him. Move right this way. Take me to your leader. Those are some big hands you got there. You ever been to college? Hey, gozer. You ever join a friend?

Ooh, that's a fur magic. Oh, man. So it's actually Arnold gets, like, beaten half to death. It's a thing where, like, the dead. Mead partner gets shot, like one clean shot, this dude's down. Yeah. This other guy is, like, beating him with a pipe over his head. But the weird thing is, is Victor at this point, gets a gun, and he's looking at Schwarzenegger

like, he's going to kill him, but he doesn't. And I'm like, dude, move he over and you're golden, brother. Totally. Just, like, one in the head. Yeah, a pipe takes a couple of times to get him down. But shoot him in the fucking head. But he needs the key. Oh, that's right.

Yeah, he's got the key that Arnold, like, sees fall on the floor and, like, just, just stretches that big old meaty paw out and grabs and holds onto his hand all the way to the hospital. He gets a concussion. He's waking up in a hospital bed and wakes up and looks at his hand and the keys there. That's not how hospitals work. No, it's like, let's evaluate everything about this person. Oh, he won't unclench that fist. What's going on there? Get the crowbar. We're just going to have to do it. Concussions have nothing to do with my right hand. Do what you have to do and leave.

I better keep my weenie away from that. You're going to bend that key. We are losing Facebook likes by the minute. Just negative likes. Yeah, but for all those that you lose, you're gaining a couple of other ones. Sure, that's true. Some creepy likes.

Oh, I just found this like in the car, bitch. So at one point, Arnold, like, changes out of his, like, Soviet police officer's uniform into this hilarious, like, night at the Roxbury's student. Yeah. And the running get, and it's a stupid running game, because the only thing is, like, the shade of green that it is, Jim Bluchy's like,

hey, it looks like Gumby. Hey, Gumby, right everybody? Oh, you adults, no Gumby, right? Silence from everybody. Arnold Schwarzenegger. They also, by the way, they have zero chemistry in this movie. This movie needs to work where they kind of, it's a little give and take. And like, Schwarzenegger's funny. You know what I mean? Like, I would argue

they have the one nice back and forth that I always got to laugh out of where like Jim Belushi will insult him or not insult him but he'll say something that will allow Arnold to say thank you and then Jim Belushi's like hey you're welcome and like that's like this nice sweet little thing that worked for me

yeah I don't know but other than that like them as detectives no what's crazy though in this blew my mind they're the same heights they are what the fuck and so's Peter Boyle Peter Boyle is looking eyeball to

eyeball to Schwarzenegger. He might be a little taller, actually. I mean, it's got to be a thing where we're putting lifts and shoes, right? Well, not Peter Boyle. Peter Boyle played Frankenstein, and Peter Boyle was in flats. Yeah, no, right. Peter Boyle was flip flops, but he played

Frankenstein. I just think maybe Schwarzenegger has played against smaller people, usually, or he wears bigger boots or lifts. He's not as tall as you think he is. I remember being a kid biggie he was like seven foot like Andre the Giant. And then you met him on the set of twins.

You were Danny DeVito's stand-in, even in 1988? He was playing Danny DeVito as a baby in the beginning. You know, Danny, we are both so short. We could be twins. I think that's how that movie was conceived. You know, I could be pregnant next. There's a great thing. It's somewhere in here when, like, Peter Boyle's mildly chewing them out.

Oh, it's when they're chewing out Arnold for, like, not, you know, letting them in on the whole thing Let's go up for the investigation, yeah. And at some point, like, it's either Jim Belushi or it's Larry Fishburn, somebody's like, yeah, Peter Boyle's in there wigging out. And I was like, if it's one thing you shouldn't say about Peter Boyle, it's that he's wigging

out. Notorious, bald actor, Peter Boyle. But the best thing is, Peter Boyle is the crux of the stupidity of this movie, because here you've got an international incident waiting to happen. Oh, yeah, it's a firestorm on your hands. You've got this

basically Schwarzenegger goes rogue. He's a Soviet officer. His Soviet superiors come in and say, you know, you fucked up this investigation. You're going to have to answer for a lot in Moscow when you come home. He's like, okay, now I'm going rogue. Hey, Peter Boyle, I'm going to go rogue in your city.

Is that okay? That's how he justifies the suit is because he's like, now I am undercover. And definitely make sure the DEA and the FBI have nothing to do with this. Yeah, you're able to make this decision, cop. I've been activated to the secret mission

Must overthrow capitalism Launching Emergency Protocol And so Peter Boyle's like And he's like, all right, all right, Ritzick, you go with him And like Larry Fisherford's like, what the fuck are you doing? And he's like, no, no, no, I got a good idea. You see, he's, the Kami over there, he's not responsible to anybody.

And Ritzik, he fucks up. Everything he touches. The department's not responsible for any of it. And he goes like this. And I'm like, what in the world? We're just going to see what happens. Yeah, exactly. We're going to put that scorpion and that dog in a box and just see what happens.

Drenched it and gravy. And see what they do. This is not how you police captain. No, it's not at all. Not ever. All wild cuts. Nothing but wild cuts. He has a wild guard.

Like, I want to see the scene where he goes home and he's like, Martha, I did it. I finally torpedoed my own career. They're going to make me retire early, and we can move to Florida. What do you say, honey? I want to go dancing tonight. I'm in the mood now. Really rolling the dice.

Just taking my own life and the life of really all of Chicago in my own hands. I am going out. with a bang. It's ridiculous. So now they're on the case. Now around here is when they interrogate Brian James. Oh, yeah, take us into this.

Streak, playing streak. He's a great, man. He was great and everything. He was an amazing actor. Blade Runner, and now he's dead as well. Well, no, you're talking about Peter. Also in dead. Well, Peter Boyle is part of that supporting cast as well.

Of course. Gotcha. But it's just this thing. It's like this guy had worked with Victor or something. Yeah, yeah. You might know where he is. He's like a pimp, a low level, such and such. And he's like giving them a lot of like, like, shit.

Like, no, you're you fucking cops. I'm not going to cooperate. Because in the beginning, Belushi's like, all right, all right, Isaac. This is how things go in America. You can't just keep hitting witnesses because we got the Miranda rights. So then, you know, you know. Arnold is just like, okay, I will torture him. He makes him swear on his balls that this information is correct.

Yes. There's an awesome thing where Jim Belushi's like, oh, how about a little seed money to get this conversation started? And he, like, puts a $50 bill in his pocket. And then when Brian James, like, doesn't come around, he's like, oh, maybe I'll get that money back. Oh, what's this heroin? And it's awesome. Brian James reaction as this character was like, you fucking asshole.

Like, obviously you, come on, I'm going to get the best lawyer in town. Well, then, like, Schwarzenegger breaks his hand and he's like, oh, I'm going to fucking suit the apartment. And he says the weirdest thing I've ever heard in a movie, and it doesn't scan at all. He's like, my lawyers make the ACLU look like Nazis.

And I'm like, what, how's that a matter of? Don't you get it, Jim Belushi? Because the ACLU is supposed to protect civil liberties, but instead, they're just killing a bunch of Jews. Anybody got that one? I think the ACLU, I think, was known at the time as being

very aggressive with their lawsuits. Okay, so. But maybe this is also in an alternate timeline where they are actually causing a mass extermination of people. I mean, I think it's a thing where in his base logic, it's like the ACLU's the good guys

and the Nazis are the bad guys. But it's just such a weird thing to, Rope the ACLU into this. ACLU and Nazi should never be toe to toe for any real reason. Definitely not in a Jim Belushi Arnold Schwarzenegger movie. That is for sure. The only thing that, by the way, Arnold's performance, aside for being a robot, Soviet, such and such, the only thing modulation he does is he does V. Like, he does do a V instead of a W.

And he's sometimes rolling that R. Yes, very few times. Yeah. Yeah. So that's this performance. So they got to go to Joliet, which I'm sure Jim Belushi was off-camera singing Jail House Rock. Remember when my brother made this amazing movie eight years ago and now we're doing this? I guarantee you he started the, what do you think? Just realistically.

Oh, realistically. Okay. Realistically and we hate movies. When did James Belushi start calling Dan Akron to get the Blues Brothers, in quotation marks, back together? I know exactly when. It was the day after John Belushi got put in the ground at Martha's Oh, come on. I'm going with June 10th, 1999. I was giving the benefit of the doubt, too. I was thinking early 90s.

Yeah, I don't think he's going to, a little time. He's not like a total duts. Well, because there was that, the failed cartoon, which was definitely like the mid-90s, that never aired, which is one of those, like, release the tapes. I want, there's two things I want to say, release the tapes for my lifetime.

It's that Blues Brothers cartoon, and the Jerry Lewis the day the clown cried film which I still stand by that when that fucker finally bites it someone's breaking into that vault releasing that on YouTube or Harry Shear or whoever goes first

because Harry Shearer's got that movie too I think he saw it I don't know that he has a copy The story he tells on Stern about that is like he was at some weird Hollywood Hills party and it was late and it was like you want to watch the Jerry Lewis

Concentration Camp clown movie and he was like well yes I do can I call some friends yeah seriously How many people can you fit in your living room? Hey, Harry, sure. Have you ever been enough for a turn, Eddie? If that's what it takes for me to watch that Holocaust clown movie, I'm in.

You're just doing it for me. Could you imagine if this movie had John Belushi instead? Such, I mean, like, I'm, and I don't, try not to do that with too many Jim Belushi movies because you'll break your own heart. His whole career, I'm sorry. It's like Alec Baldwin died, and you put Stephen Baldwin and everything else. You know what? It's always better. Or, Kevin Farley, is that his name? If he had become a bigger, bigger deal.

Yes, God, dodge that bullet. Honestly, though, like... That's a dark timeline. It is. The darkest of timelines. We're actually kind of fortunate that it's just Jim Ballushi. Yeah, you're totally right. No more super.

successful other brothers really although I like Bowbridge's Bo Bridges. Bo Bridges are great. He's a very talented actor. Is that it? Let's let's keep that marinating on the bag burner. Well you know what if successful other brothers. If Chris Catan has a brother,

I'd prefer the brother. I guarantee. Chris Catan's brother like did stand up once and then that has a really successful car dealership. And he's like, hey, I made the right decision. Dennis Catan. So they go to

Joliet to interview this guy, Abdul Elijah, who's, like, the head of this gang. And it's a weird, like, this guard just brings him into Gen Pop, and he's like, all right, he's over there. I don't go any farther, though. And I'm like, you're the fucking prison guard. Also, I'm always just swayed by prisons that are set up like this. It looks like the Guardians of the Galaxy prison. It totally does.

Like these open-air prisons. Was Lloyd Kaufman in there? Is Lloyd Kaufman and Guardians of a galaxy? You didn't know that? No, I'll tell you what, though. The other day, I was trolling on Netflix. And every once in a while, I'm like, let's dip that toe back into the trauma world

just to make sure I still hate it. Oh, you know, it's just dust off that garbage. It's still, it's technically a movie. It's got minutes. It's got minutes. It's got minutes. There's minutes to it. Yeah, you dust it off.

You put it on the Netflix. It's great. Dude, and let me tell you, if you go to Netflix, that first Toxic Avenger movies on there, so I'm like, all right, everybody gives a shit about this, I guess, I'll check it out. And I've watched a little bit of that cartoon, which is definitely a

stay tuned to the animation damnation block. For sure. But the Netflix rip of this thing starts with this man on the street interview shit with Lloyd Kaufman going up to some asshole in like a Toxy Halloween costume. And he's

like, oh, hey, Toxy, what do you do? and here on the streets of hell's kitchen you look like you fell on hard times and then this guy's like yo lord coffman man yeah it's me the toxic avenger man i'm slinging coke out here man i gotta do what i got to do and i'm like what the fuck am i watching right now and it's 15 minutes it's this thing it's like a DVD extra that they put in front of the feature of this movie i didn't want to watch in the first place and then i got like five minutes into that movie and i was like nope i still hate it and turned it off yep just turned it right off so this dude this dude this Abdul Elijah he's like this blind guy

he's got everything figured out he's like he's he's the puppeteer of this whole thing and he's organizing this drug deal from the inside he's running this crime syndicate I gotta tell you pretty impressive yeah oh yeah and he's blind so that's even more impressive that means he really

has it figured it out well because like he has this weird thing and again like this is a Schwarzenegger movie with a little sprinkling a balushi exactly right yeah he's the spice in the pot unfortunately and but because Schwarzenegger is the only one interrogating this guy Schwarzenegger moves the plot from scene to scene

well because Schwarzenegger in this interrogation Jim Belushi once again gets racist and he's like step out of the way I do not have a great grasp of your language but I know I can negotiate this better than you well he's like oh I'm going to cut your balls off if you don't do this and the guy's like hey man I don't have sex in prison he's like okay well then I'm going to rip your eyes out of your socket And then he pulls these sunglasses, I'm blind.

And, like, short thing is like, ah, it's a ghost. It's like, he gets scared for no reason. Like, he's just a blind guy. In the Soviet Union, if you are born blind, you are shot in the back of the head immediately. I have never seen a naturally born blind person before. You would be called the disposables. He jumps into Belushi's arms, like Scooby and the Shaggies. Or sometimes vice versa, depending upon what that animator's mood was.

Homony, homina, homina. So, yeah, this dude just kind of gives Arnold the runaround in, like, the vaguest of philosophical terms, which is weird. This plot of getting the key, and there's also a torn up half of a $100 bill, it's so Byzantine and so stupid. It's like, you know, you have this half of the $100 bill, and when you find the dude that's got the matching half and the terror. airline magic. Oh, are you the gatekeeper? I have half of a piece of torn currency. They have to take the key to get the bag. You got to take the bag to the guy with the half a hundred

dollar bill. You got to give him a handjob. And then you put the hundred dollar bill together. He takes the bag. And then I don't know what happens. Oh, Hanjis. Capitalism. And then for two weeks in a row, Gina Grishon shows up. And I wish she didn't. Yeah, seriously. So remember how useless she was in Face Off? She's like just as useless in this movie. Maybe a little

less. Well, because she's like she's Victor's ex-girlfriend. No, they're married. Oh, they're married. It's a weird like green card thing. How long has he been in town? He got arrested almost immediately. Yeah. I don't understand. Maybe he's been doing a lot of like intercontinental living while he's

trying to help set up this drug deal. It seems that him and the clean heads have been talking for a long time about what they're about to do. Yeah, they're old friends. So I think they probably got him the wife just so that he, you know, doesn't get extradited. Got him the wife. You want a wife? I can get your wife. Give me ten minutes.

Yeah, what do you think of a Gita Gershant type? Check by. You just dust it off. It'll look just like a Drew Barrymore. It's dusted off a little bit. Yeah, you know. Yeah, you get some new lights on there, yeah. You might even have an Angelina Jolie.

That's that thing off. That's the comparison. Yeah. Gina Greshon's the Angelina Jolie that never was. Because Angelina Jolie is a lot more talented, unfortunately. Yeah, absolutely right. And Gina Gershont is not a good actor. At all.

So she's in this movie. She, like, has a job teaching dance classes to at-risk youth. But she's also a prostitute? Or by making that up? You're making that up, I think. There are prostitutes in this movie. I'm not sure if Gina Gershahn is one of them. Well, let's cut that.

So they go to her and they try to get some answers and nothing's really going on. Jim Belushi is once again told in so many words to suck his own dick. Everyone hates his gut to the... It's kind of a fuck you, DeMarco, actually. It is. And what's amazing is it's in that hometown. And he's like, aren't I great? And fuck you, DeMarco.

Oh, perfect. Oh, right on your home turf. So she doesn't cooperate. Right. And what is the plan then? well, we'll just follow her around for the rest of her life. So they parked the car outside

of this dance studio or whatever. This is amazing because Arnold is the one who wants to wait and Jim Belushi, another running gag of his is, oh, the paperwork for this is going to take me forever and he's like rambling on about paperwork and he's like, all right, you sit in the car, I'm

going to go get us each of the four food groups. Coffee, donuts, beer, and pizza. No, no. Hamburgers and coffee, man. Why don't you just eat that on the toilet? Why don't you literally dude, that is... Cut out the middle man. It's like an old school

thing. Like, you'll see old dudes with a cup of, like a cup of black coffee, black muddy coffee and a greasily ass hamburger. And they've been doing it for 50 years. Yeah, you know, I could see that with, you know, no cheese. Yeah. I think that would ruin the equation. It's a rich man's

prunes. You get some of those meaty prunes? They're okay. Yeah, you dust them off. Oh, we dust off those beefy prunes. It's delicious. Oh, wait, that one, Belushi, oh, I got another one. You just dust it off.

That one flamed out, huh? Yeah, I got something for you. Someone else's garbage is your treasure. There's a really offensive line that Jim Blushi has somewhere around here where it's somewhere during the steak out where Arnold's like, you know, we can use. He is infinitely the better cop. He's just like, we can use her to find a way to get the victor. We have to just follow her. Because that's his response to Jim Belushi saying,

I'm going to bust that bitch so hard she bounces. Yeah. And you're just like, what? What are you saying? It's the 1980s, I guess. But like Arnold, like the cold Soviet Terminator is like, that's very offensive. Hey, Walter, you find me improv. here? Okay. Bitches. I want to call them all

bitches. Hey, Walter Hill, bitches, right? What, I'm fired. By the way, when he's off getting his coffee and hamburgers, a man approaches the vehicle with a bat. This is my favorite part of the movie. And he's like, he wants what he wants money or something to allow you to park there. He's like, this is my parking spot. You can either move this shitbox car, which is awesome because it's Jim Belushi's car. It's getting called the shitbox. Or you can pay me

$50 to park here is what he says. And Arnold's like, do you know Miranda? And he's like, no, who's that bitch? And then Arnold just like clocks this guy right in the face. It's pretty good. It's pretty great. And then like Jim, it's, this is a scene that plays with some successful comedy because Jim Belushi comes back with the bag of food and the two coffees and he gets in the car. He's like, yeah, everything all right here? Yes. Everything's going okay? Yes.

Then who's that sack of shit laying out there on the sidewalk? And Arnold's like, he lives here. And it's amazing because he's a robot just repeating things that he hears human beings say. Well, yeah, he is just like a little kid like, oh, this is how it works in America. Hey, Danko, can you give me my feedback there? I've got to fill it up here. He's trying to do that. But then Gina Gershawne walks out and gets into a car.

and it's like, we have to go, we have to move it. So then he speeds off to follow her, and the coffee falls on Jim Belushi's testicles. Oh, man, it's awesome. Oh, I hard-boiled my nuts. And he's like, oh, man, it's going to look like I peed my pants all night. I love that. All night, all night, he's saying.

What are you talking about? It's going to be dry in 15 minutes. Well, he's wearing like a polyester blue suit, so it's never going to work out. I could at least drop this brown coffee In the back of these slacks It looked like I shit my pads So it turns out They go in like a parking garage

And Victor's there And I think at this point They got the key And the scarecrow This is another Amazing moment of Jim Belushi's character Being a racist This is the most offensive thing

Because it's like It's Victor And all the clean heads We're all African American dudes With guns And he's like Oh man It's like a basketball team with guns

And I'm like It's amazing. You can see Arnold look over and be like, Hey, Walter Hill. Am I supposed to be laughing at these lines or what? Walter, you said I could improv, right? You said I could do that, right? Okay.

They look like NWA. At least Sven and I, when we hang out, it's just about the booze and the women. We don't make any offensive, racist, or sexist comments whatsoever, because we don't have to resort to that. kind of language to make each other laugh. Hey, Walter, are you okay with Sven being the assistant director in this movie now? He needs something to do.

He's all of O.A. in my Hollywood Hills home. You'll have to, of course, quintuple his salary. It's on the minds of everyone listening. Who is his Johnny drama? Oh, that's a great question, actually. I feel like there was, like, a third guy. That Asian guy that kind of was like, Cheech Marin? Yes, the guy that he throws through the window at the beginning

Is that guy in this posse though? Because I feel like there was at least another buddy of Arnold's And it's not Lou Forigno No, because they're not really friends There was like another guy that I think was another like stunt man That came up through the Arnold posse ranks. But maybe also it's like, okay Shane Black, you'll do I was going to say Dolph.

There might be some bad. blood there, I think. Oh, really? You were stealing my act. And then, could you believe this, son of a bitch? So, yeah, it's like, I burned my dick off. And again, he's like, he's like, don't crash the car. Not because I'm concerned about our safety, but because the paperwork's going to keep me up

till dawn. There's a big scene between him and Victor. And for some reason, it's like, hey, let's talk in the American language for no reason. Dude, you're totally, there's no way they would be speaking English in this scene whatsoever. it's just the two of them totally alone which is also crazy because this movie has shown us several scenes now of people just speaking Russian to each other

absolutely right we're fine with subtitles in this film and the way sometimes movies do this and then like they'll start the scene with the foreign language using the subtitles and then they'll just start speaking English and a lot of that I think is like you're supposed to interpret those scenes

as like they're still speaking whatever language they started out with but they just cut it you know it's yeah it's that or you'll even have, like, you'll just never have anyone speak anything, and you just have to assume, like, when we see two Russian characters, they're probably actually speaking Russian, but we're assuming that they... But, like, you set it up one way

at the beginning of this movie, so then in this parking garage, they're just speaking English, and you're like, what the fuck for? I think it's because the guy who's playing Victor was actually born in, like, Pittsburgh. So, like, he has no grasp. Oh, yeah. I mean, you know, not that Arnold's Russian is fucking, you know, impeccable

by any means. The guy who plays Victor is kind of a weird. I don't know what else he was in, but he kind of looks like Ira from mad about you with a duster and, like, kind of jacked. Oh, cousin Ira, yeah. He's big on like, bee movie. He looked very familiar. Like, those movies were, like, a virus

like eats somebody's brain, and then it eats somebody else's brain. And then they turn into Sven Oli Thoris. Yeah, like the 80s market of that, that was this guy's bread and butter. And I don't understand the end of this scene, because they have this big standoff. Everybody's talking shit.

Yeah. And then Victor just walks away and I'm like, hey Arnold, fucking arrest him, dude. What is going on right now? Well, they don't have guns. Yeah, and they've been outnumbered by the gang. So there's just no... Oh, oh, that's right, because hilariously, a couple levels up in this parking deck. Everyone in this gang has a gun to Jim Belushi's head. Well, that's what I did understand is because clearly Danko hates his guts. But he's a professional and he's not about to let this dude down. And I guess that's it.

But really, they're like, okay, you go away. And if you don't come back, we're killing Jim Belushi. All right. See you later, movie. Win, win. So at some point, like, there was another Russian dude that got, oh, it was way back during that bank shootout or the bus station shootout. So there's a dude that's been in a coma in the hospital.

So he wakes up and they go to the hospital. And it has been five minutes since the shootouts happened. So we got to get right back to it. Cronenberg stole from this movie. I think Christopher Nolan's got a little blood on his hands because this is, uh, Heath Ledger's the Joker right now. Oh, absolutely. It's a man dressed up as a blonde nurse.

Yes, and he's walking around the thing and like he actually spikes this guy's veins, kills him. And Belushi, of course, like, hey, who's that bombshell? Oh, yeah. Oh, absolutely. And this scene. Did I go to college with you? Wow, you look awfully familiar. I never forget a palm.

So, yeah, there's this shootout. And Arnold, like, the dude pulls a gun on Jim Belushi, and I'm like, do it. Just do it, buddy. And Jim Belushi, like, jumps over this nurse's cart. And actually, if you go back and watch through the tape, I think Jim Belushi throws a woman out of the way to, like, shelter what this woman could shelter herself behind. It's also that bullshit action movie thing where anything made of metal is bulletproof. It's, like, dinner tray. It's the cheapest aluminum show.

shit and like just bullets are sparking off it for whatever reason and so then Arnold comes down and he's like not today the joker and just like shoots this guy 900 times and for some reason is it Gina Gershan's there and she keeps on saying don't do it

she's trying to be like peacemaker and all of this and I'm like get out of this movie but I don't remember them saying like oh this is my brother or this is my best friend she totally acts yeah you're right and I'm like well who gives this shit he's an evil son of a bitch And it's awesome because when this guy goes down, the wig, like, gets caught on this glass case.

It's actually a real, I mean, it's Walter Hill, so he knows how to shoot somebody up, you know. And this dude just goes back, the wig gets caught on a casing and it falls off. Well, it's amazing because the crowd's like, oh, my God, he killed a woman. And the wig comes up, oh, it's a guy. You know, everyone has that same exact reaction. Jim Balush, he gets, he stands over this corpse and says something to the effect of, oh, well, at least it's just a guy. Oh, man, female privilege. It's rampant.

It's really rampant. Oh, my God, we've got to cut back on it. So Arnold, like, just lets Gina Gershahn go at this point. And he goes upstairs and Peter Bullough shows up, but he's like, oh, man, I guess those wild cuds, this is a pretty big bloodbath I got on my hand. Wow. Hey, everybody, isn't it looking bad for me? It's looking real bad, isn't it?

Oh, man, look at all that municipal property down the drain. I'm really glad that the commission is on vacation. He's on medical leave for cancer He's got his own problem Oh hello fish I'll be sleeping with you soon There's also a little Just an annoying thing

Everyone keeps calling this guy that got murdered A drag queen Which it's he's a cross Unless there's a review involved Edward dancing If you're singing a song If you're singing a show tune Please Rudy Giuliani

Drag Queen This guy no He's a cross-dress for a while whatever and it's for professional reasons it's not a personal thing you're literally in disguise for work maybe it is and maybe he just does that again until he picks up a microphone

and does a number he's just a cross-best it's called professionalism and it's the thing is most people are you know it's a drag queen this drag queen that Jim Belushi refers to this man at one point as El Transvesto yeah of god damn it

why why Hey, this joke's pretty good. I found at the bottom of the garbage. Oh, yeah, you just dust that off. Walter, can I use this? Well, it's only part of a transvestite slur. Just put an O on it. Me, you'll make it work, you know, D-I-W.

And, hey, that dub was this butchered Mexican, too. It's 1970s homophobia. It's still plays. It's still plays. There is, so then we're, it's like they have no leads. They're technically off the case. Peter Boyle. He's loving the way his career is going down in flames.

Danca's gun is removed from him. Oh, yeah, absolutely. He's stripped of his weapon. And so they're at this diner. And this is the most piggish and offensive Jim Belushi gets in this movie. Because they're just sitting at this, you know, at this bar at this coffee shop, going through this dreaded paperwork that he's been talking about for 45 minutes. And they're going through. And this is where he's trying to, like, bond with Arnold, like, oh, do you have a father?

What do you do? Your mother, both, all this stuff. and this waitress comes up to top office coffee and he's like hey bitch I got this coffee just the color I wanted to you step off please and like the woman's like God fuck you buddy and walks away

and then like you know they hash it out a little more like oh our parents are both dead he speaks some like because they both have no family really and he's like oh we're going to be light on the Christmas shop in this year that's depressing Christmas is outlawed in Soviet Union he's like

both of my mother and father died under horrendous Soviet-related circumstances. My father was choked by Joseph Stalin himself. But then it's... Oh, God, I hate his guts in this movie because then he finishes the coffee and he goes,

Hey, sweet cheeks, while we're young. And he starts waving this coffee cup in the air and I'm like, you fat piece of shit. What an asshole, man. You just told her 45 seconds to go to get out of your face. I really have never seen an actor who goes into every scene being like, I have to antagonize every single character around me.

That's the key to it. He's like a human Daffy Duck. Yep. It's horrendous. Daffy Duck had better fucking morals than Jimbleuishing. That's actually true. And he had no qualms about cross-dressing, right? He didn't, no.

Did he do that or was it just bugs? It was no, Bugs was predominantly the cross-dresser. But I'm sure Duffy did it at some point. He dabbled. He was at least kind of. kind of cool with it. Oh, definitely. It was Hollywood, man. It was the 30s. Everyone smoked a jays. Yosemite. Sam, on the other hand. You know what, though, but even Yosemite Sam, in a 1940s fucking cartoon, written, drawn

all by men, no time did that rabbit come out from behind a tree dressed as a lady, and someone went, oh, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, al transvesto? Yeah, no, never. A fucking old golden Hollywood cartoon is more progressive than Jim Belushi. Elmer Fudd was pretty progressive sexually He was down with it He lived alone, he was neat Yeah You got it

He went whichever way the wind blew All right He followed his heart Yeah exactly He didn't He looked at the pair of eyes first And then fell in love You're goddamn right

It's beautiful It's a beautiful thing So this is speaking of beautiful things Oh nice setup Nice setup because this is when we get Arnold Taking the hottest flop pouched shower you'll ever see and the steam's all over the place and there's definitely

one he's like it makes you think of the bodybuilding days because there's a shot of him soaking up the heat and whatever and he's like got his chest out and he's looking up just like oh yes and I was like is someone below frame doing

something? What is happening? Well the most amazing thing about this is when he goes to Jim Belushi drops him off and Jim Belushi has the gall to say you go take a shower do you want to think about

the smells that are emanating from Jim Volusia it's all sausage and coffee and piss and shit that's all it is and he has the gall to say you go take the shower yeah what a real asshole and he doesn't take a shower by the way no you never see Jim Balushi taking a big suck me shower

and this isn't the the Byzantine plot at this point Victor is trying to fuck over the clean head. So he's like, okay, Arnold Schwarzenegger's in room 305. And Arnold happens to be in room 307. And in 305 is this process you're just watching like Jenny Jones or something. Oh, it's the people's. It's like a shitty people's court.

And, you know, she's just like, you know, her guys in the shower there, much like Arnold. And, you know, it's a fake out. You know what I mean? You don't know which room they're going into. They come in. They blast the room up to shit. and then this fat fuck falls out. Yeah.

Oh, God. Dude, this dude goes down. It's just a big fat guy with like nine holes in him. Eight of them are bullet-related. He looks. I don't think he's George, but he looks like a wint. You from the clan went? Maybe like Colin went.

Yeah. So then, like, it just leads to what's a pretty decent shootout here? Arnold comes out. Because Arnold's now gotten a new gun. from Jim Belushi. Yes, he's got a 44 magnum. Yeah, that's a powerful handgun in the world. What dirty Harry used.

But is dirty hairy. Dirty Harry does not compute. Did anybody notice in the aftermath of the shootout when like the Chicago PD descends on this hotel, a nice little cameo in here? It's a 1988 Kurt Fuller. Oh, no. Just Kurt Fuller.

as the he's uh he's just a detective he's questioning uh prud taylor vincent who that's the flop house the guy who runs the flop house he's been in a hundred movies preuit taylor he's a lot fatter and balder these days oh yes oh he's the dude from identity yes yes yes oh stay tuned and constantine double stay tuned um yeah but it's just kurt fuller hanging out and this is like 1988 kurt fuller's been in things yeah he's one year away from being in shitty ghostbusters too it may be his line got cut out. Maybe it's like a Terrence Malick thing where they just cut all of them out. Oh, it's like a whole Kurt Fuller movie? That could

be. The two hour cut. I could use a, this could, I could use a red heat that's sort of like the tree of life. Yeah, dude, I'm down. You're just like breathing it in. We're getting like low angle shots of what the, you know, the crack babies think of certain scenes.

Random shots of dinosaurs. Oh, hey, look at all those dinosaurs. Oh, is that universe being created? Cool. So while we have this like Kurt Fuller cameo somewhere along the way Gina Gershahn just gets murdered off screen yep just totally like a radio report

you just cut to her on a slab just a total slab like Laura Palmer body bag by the way and no one gives a shit no movie even Arnold is just like she had it coming Arnold who is responsible for her death he does not give because if she was arrested

Victor wouldn't have got to her yeah you know what I mean but no no no no she tried to stop me from killing the joker so she may now join him I mean so you know whatever we finally determine where this drug deal is going down this is the third act of the movie it's over with we have a bus chase it's back at the bus depot

and it's like Victor turns on the clean heads he kills them he gets the money and the drugs and he's like all right now I'm going to just go in this bus and drive to the Soviet Union I'm going to haul ass to Lollapalooza and Belushi and Schwarzenegger hot on his tail, they get in their own bus, and it's a big fat bus chase.

It's pretty cool, man. Bus versus bus. The greatest of automotive vehicles are boss. Who will complete their route first? You can't miss any of the scheduled and non-scheduled stops. You can't make it all the stops? They kept ringing the bell. And now I am driving the bus

I am Batman I am driving it again I was driving it before I took a break and I am driving again So at the end we get this Mexican standoff Right oh yeah We're playing chicken with buses

Yes and you know I think at this point Belushi almost kills I'm sorry Schwarzenegger almost kills Belushi because he's getting in the way right He there's a part where he pulls a gun on Belushi And it's like There's a little yeah there's a little bit of a standoff situation.

That's before this bus chase. But then the bus chase happens, and it's awesome because one Arnold almost gets hit by a bus, because Victor almost drives him over, like drives over him with this one bus. Arnold steals another bus. Thank God he didn't get hit by that bus, because that bus would have been

broken. City of Chicago would have been in real odds. Yeah. And so then, you know, Arnold's driving the bus, and Jim Belushi's trying to get on it. Wait for me! And I'm like, yeah, the movie's fucking forgetting you, It is, because at the end, like, you know, he's like, oh, all right, you, and there's this thing of like, oh, he killed my partner.

And he's like, but he killed my partner first. And he's like, all right, you win. And he just like, it was like, all right, talk to you later movie. Yeah, like, Arnold flips their bus. Like, they crash into something. It goes over. And so it's like, all right, Victor's out of his bus. And we are out of Oz.

And Jim Belushi is literally like, all right, you take it from here, Arnie. Well, Victor's bus gets hit by a truck. train. And he walks right out of it. Oh, he waltzes right out. It's pretty great. He's like T-1,000. Dude, speaking to Terminators, man, you have this shot of, like, a big, like, foggy, smoky train yard,

and Arnold is walking through. He has the same head injury. Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun. But it's not like two Honda civics hit each other. It's a, it's a fucking train hitting a shitty bus. And it's amazing because this conductor gets out and he's

yelling at Victory. He's like, hey, what the fuck you're doing? and just instantly gets shot by him. Guess what? If a guy survives a bus crash like that, walks out pretty nicely, you just duck down and let him do whatever the fuck he's doing. Because if he's that motivated to get out of a bus and keep doing shit, it's a blood feud. There's a blood feud going on.

And he's got at least seven weapons. And Arnold, they start shooting at each other immediately. And they're not that far apart. And Victor doesn't hit him once. And Arnold just blows this dude away. And it's like, you know, Arnold's got to get, like, take a hit in the side maybe. getting one in the shoulder or something. Maybe he needs to get hit by the second train that comes.

He's our big villain. We've been following him, you know, country to country at this point. Let's up, De Annie. But he dies. He just gets a shot. Totally dies. And that's the end of it. Like, they, Jim Belushi drives him almost immediately to the airport.

Yeah. And they're hanging out in the airport bar. And there's an... They're watching baseball. I don't understand the baseball. Oh, well, it's because it's American and you're a fucking moron, right? That's what you meant, right? And, you know, Arnold's like in Soviet culture, you know, if you want to show someone that you want to be friends with them, like you give them a gift, like a sign of friendship, here's this watch. And Jim Belushi all of a sudden is this expert jeweler. Because he's just like, oh, well, look at that. That's $1,000. That's $1,000. That's nice. And he takes Arnold's watch and he looks at it. And he's like, and you're just like, oh, you gave me your watch. I'm going to give you mine. It's a thousand dollar Rolex or whatever. And he's like, oh, okay, that's nice. And he takes Arnold's watch and he looks at it. And he's like, and you're.

is a $20 East German Naka. Oh, no, what have I done? I'm like, how are you eyeballing this? When are you a watch expert? And I love how they don't at all pretend to set up a sequel, which I appreciate about this movie.

It's like, well, we'll never see each other again. Never again. And they shake hands at the movie ends. Because it's not like, well, it's not like, you know, I could get into a lot of trouble in the Soviet Union. That's what that sequel is, right? You know what?

Now I want that sequel. Dude, you still can do it. You can still do it. They're both. They're still alive. Both of them. But not the Soviet Union. Oh, that's true.

That's dead. Well, that's what, no, that's altered a timeline. Well, yes, one, possibly a dark timeline. But two, just to showcase this character's ignorance, once again in the sequel, you could have Jim Belushi like, you know, get at the, he flies into, you know, Moscow airport or whatever. He's like, flew into Miami Beach. you and he's just like singing back in the USSR and Arnold's

like uh you know that doesn't exist anymore no and then an assassin's bullet shatters through his skull and it's over here's our 20 minute short film the sequel the ready honestly though I mean I didn't check the box office stats on this

but I don't know how they didn't do a sequel to this movie because that's it's just you could do all sorts of sequels with this oh yeah you could you know Jim Belushi could accidentally stumble into like a presidential banquet and it's like, oh, hey there, Vladimir Poodie.

I don't think Walter Hill is working with Jim Belushi again. Yeah, it was one and done. Oh, also, nobody wanted it. I mean, the gang is still technically, like, you know, the dude running the shit from prison. You know he's going to get more clean heads out there. Come on. Sure, let's do it.

It just writes itself. And Walter Hill's making movies again. He made that Stallone movie. It's a not bad movie. You know, he could. do something. There was bullet in the head, that's what it's called. Would anybody recommend Red Heat? It's not you know, honestly, on paper, it

sounds like a lot of fun. It's a bit sluggish at parts and the action set pieces don't really pay off. It's not a recommend for me. I totally agree with Steve. I mean, I think when I was younger I liked this movie more because I like the idea of this movie. Yes,

yeah. And it's like, I'm watching it again and I'm just like, Jesus, won't they get to this stuff, you know? they're going to get to the fireworks factory. Exactly. Exactly. I mean, yeah, it's definitely really sluggish. And you, it doesn't give you anything that you want until the end. It's something that happens a lot with these kinds of movies where all the action

fireworks are like held out to the end, really. But it's also like Walter Hill's worst movie by like a mile, I would say. It definitely is. But I guess I'm the differing opinion on we hate movies this week. Because I liked this more this time I watched it. Like, we did a live show with this movie one time. and I even think at that I was like nah fuck it I don't know I think I must have been in a good mood today because I was just sitting there like this is stupid whatever I'm having a good time and like Walter Hill knows how to direct action so like it is probably his worst movie but it looks okay I'll give it that it does look okay yeah it's a totally clean I mean yeah at the end of the day if you had anybody else but Jim Belushi preferably John Belushi you do it doing this kind of thing or like a Nick Nolte Dan Aykroyd get Dan Accroyd in there. He's more interesting

to watch. You know, Eddie Murphy, like Walter Hill already made the first 48 hours. He knows both of those guys. Get one of them in to do this. Sure. You know, but I guess they just they wanted that comedy, so I don't know. It's Chicago Fat Slob comedy. That's Red Heat from 1988, directed

by Walter Hill. Now, we thought that we put this out on Twitter. We do a little like Q&A for the 200th episode. So, we had people tweet at us, some questions, using hashtag WHMQA. So I've got some pulled up.

Maybe we'll just answer a couple of these. Sure. We don't want it to go on too too long, but we had a lot of people like write in and ask us about stuff. So, um, so this is from, uh, at B movie by tweet. Uh, they say,

what long lost VHS movie? Do you really want to finally get a Blu-ray release so you can give it a high-deaf WHM treatment? Well, first of all, I would say it doesn't, we'll do a movie that's on VHS movie. Jess. We've done that before. But so, so let's just say a movie that hasn't been released yet that you want to see on Blu-ray. White Star. Oh, you're still

my answer. Oh, really? Yeah. Starring Dennis Hopper by Roland Clint. Eric and I saw it at the Spectacle Theater in Brooklyn and it was amazing. It's a new Mercedes Benz tomorrow. Someone's going to get that somewhere. Yeah.

Sammy and Rosie get laid. It's Stephen Fears I think it's his first or second movie. you can only get it on VHS now and I watched it in college and I was obsessed with it for a long time Oh, actually, the Devils Oh yes, oh man

And Listermania All Ken Russell Just make a box set of Ken Russell Well, I think Lissomania is on Blu-ray No I just think it's not a American I think it's like a BFI Well, you know what?

Not on Blu-ray I don't know if you guys know this But do you know where I live? You know what region we're in, gentlemen? Yeah, I know where you live. You live down the street from me. I know exactly what's going on. Yeah.

But the actual, the other thing about the devils, though, the actual cut of the devil. Yes, please. Which is like vaulted. Thanks a lot, Warner Brothers. I would say Chud 2, bud, the judge. Not for nothing. I think that's a, like, Region 2, blue, or a DVD. Yeah.

But I don't even think it's DVD around here. Maybe these days, I haven't checked in a while. But just because I was looking at that VHS that I had the other day and was like, I know I'm the only one who. kind of enjoys watching this movie literally the only one. You know, if it's cheap, I'd buy it. Uh, so let's see, um, let's see, let's see, let's see, let's see

so, uh, at B.C. Thomas Zelanka says, what the hell happened to Nicholas Cage's career? A debt. Yeah. He owns like two islands and a castle. Yeah, that's a lot of upkeep. He's got to make, he's got to make the money. And you know what? He's, you can't be too choosy.

Yeah, I mean, I never, I didn't see that Joe movie was supposed to be He's good. He's good in that. Joe's good. He's a guy that is he just, you put him in something, he's going to run with it. You know what I mean? You want to put him in a bullshit fucking Wicker Man remake? He'll run it right into the ground. People like to talk shit about Nick Kage, but he's an amazing performer.

Absolutely. Like, without a doubt. I mean, he's bonkers, but he knows what energy he's bringing. Yeah, but that's the thing. He's not stupid. He knows what he's doing. It's kind of genius. You know, it's really brilliant because he is, as you said, he is a great performer and he will

bring something to even the shittiest movie like that's kind of what sucks and why you get pissed off when he does something like I don't know rage or Left behind. Left behind. Oh my God. Knowing. Is that you just know that he's so much better than this. Yeah. You know it every

time you're like, son of a bitch. IRS knows something about him too though. That's the problem. You want us like it's always, you get those reminders every now and again and I haven't had it with, I mean, I guess Joe with Nick Hage's like that. He's in the Snowden movie this year. He's in the Snowden. We'll see what happens with that. That's Oliver Stone, so all bets are wrong. But I had it

with John Cusack this year. He's in that Love and Mercy movie, the Brian Wilson movie, and he's playing 80s, like, fucked up Brian Wilson. And he's awesome in that movie. So, like, you never know what's on the table for these guys. Let's do a few more. So at its now fairy tale, writes in and says do you really re-watch

the bad movies or just IMDB it? We re-watch it. Every last, durn one. Usually twice. Yeah, well, somebody had said something about whether or not, you know, have you guys watch stuff and or, like, have you ever

watched a movie for the show and said, oops, it's not an episode? That happens kind of a lot. Oh, yeah. I mean, we're always, we have a pretty terrible farm system where we all subject ourselves to terrible shit and then we you know somebody else has to vet it kind of a thing it's a two party system

someone picks a movie and then we pick another of us to rewatch it also two keys not exactly the same time yeah but but both keys have to be turned exactly so at UT Chicago says who would play you in a terrible

biopic you know I realized just this week that I'm the perfect mixture of Greg Grunberg and what's that of Zach Orth. So either or. Probably more Zach Orth, I think. Yeah.

But both of those guys are way taller than me. So maybe you can do a little, you know, Lord of the Rings kind of thing. Chris Hemsworth. You fuck. You know what? Here I am being honest and talking about Zach Orth and Greg goddamn Grudberg. You know what? He was being honest, too, and he was talking about Chris Hemsworth.

So what are you going to do about it? I would, I mean, I would like to say Louis C.K. But it's probably more Gabriel and Glacier. Probably where we're landing. I would say, I would say just because everybody, like, I get this a lot. And, like, I've been harassed by teenagers on the subway about this. Like, Zach Galefenakis. If you get me with, like, longish hair, the beard's big, and I got sunglasses on,

I will be on the subway and children will be like, It's the motherfucker from the hangover. But I think half of the time people are. confused and half the time people are just fucking with you? No, I know. Oh, it works. That's what, dude, it was that time on the subway. I was listening to it, like, nice, genteel

episode of the Tobolowski files, and in my periphery, I could see kids pointing at me, and I just, like, very closely, like, got my iPod out and paused it. And it's the motherfucker from the hangover. And I was like, put it back on. Don't start crying.

Yeah. Because the kids aren't confusing. That Zach Alfenack is on the fucking two trades At Gareth Bale 22 says What's your favorite episode that you've ever done And why? That's a toughie man

There's been so many we've done I don't know I think Hider in the house was a lot of fun I remember going to do that Judge Dread was a lot of fun because that was like a nice I don't know when we did it But it was a nice

I remember nice weather I got it by four locoes You know It was a nice time I have a really A good memory of doing baby cakes Because it was one of those movies Where we just did like

Find it out of nowhere It was absolutely Steve had some tape With the other side of which Had some Roseanne Barr Tom Arnold football movie Backfield in motion Backfield emotion is what it is

Which did have a song called Backfield field in motion and it was I think the chorus was backfield in motion baby and that's it backfield in motion was it sung by Tom Arnold maybe no probably his brother

a ton but just on the spot I'd say I really like the butterfly effect I think it's a fun kind of a fuck you to a movie that's really bad and like has a lot of like actual problems with it not just like oh a movie that's just a silly cheesy movie you know what I mean it's like it's a piece of shit

I would say, for me, it was Halloween 3 because Halloween 3, I remember recording the episode and just knowing, like, one, we're really creating a weird world that's just like us being really stupid about stuff. But also, like, it was a time when we didn't have to look at notes, like, you just did it. And it was like, everything was just, like, flying through that. And it was also, I think, part of a listener request. So that was like, that was fun. That was one of those fun things. All right. So we'll do one more here and then we'll wrap it up.

So at 005 says, so all of the movies you've done, of all the movies you've done, which one would each of you recommend for a group viewing of a good, bad movie? Battle for Endor. Yes. The Ewarks to Battle for Endor. That's with Brimley. Yes, yes, with Wilford Brimley, where he's doing a bunch of stuff in the Star Wars universe. I would say chopping mall.

It's a chip shot a little bit because it's like, it's so like exactly bad movie. But like it's a good party movie. You can have a lot of fun with that. I'm going to say hard target. Oh, yeah. Go for it. All of it. Both Brimley's here.

Yeah. Me 100 times yes, Hyder in the house. Yeah. It's a great time. One because we did a live commentary of that once and it was like one of the best nights of my life. So that is W.H.M. 200. Check out the other shows on the sideshow network, sideshow network

TV. For more information about WHM, check out our website, WHM podcast.com. Like us on Facebook and follow us on Twitter. We're at WHM podcast. Right in the mailbag. We All Hate Movies at gmail.com. Clue for next week's episode. Patrick Dempsey.

Oh, shit. Patrick Dempsey, everybody. And before you start trying to guess it, we already did Scream 3. And just a quick thank you to everybody. whoever listened to the show. Oh, yeah. I don't think we would have done 200 episodes if people weren't listening.

Not at all. Not in the least. So we really appreciate any and all support we get. And you guys are awesome. And thank you so much. Ditto. Yeah, what that guy said. We do it because you listen.

Keep telling your friends about it. And we will keep making episodes. So until next week with Patrick Dempsey. I'm Andrew Jupin. Eric Siska. Steven Siddak. Chris Cabin. Thank you.

And take it easy. Thank you.