We Hate Movies - S5 Ep207: Stealth

Episode Date: June 9, 2015

Our Summer Blockbuster Extravaganza rolls into week two with the film Gene Shalit once told Andrew had, "Oscar written all over it", Stealth! So grab your Snickers Almond and strap in as we ask: what happened to Josh Lucas? Was this actually supposed to be a Star Fox movie? And would Jamie Foxx and that robot have to share top billing at a funeral? PLUS: No one wants to download a Gavin Rossdale solo record! Stealth stars Josh Lucas, Jessica Biel, Jamie Foxx, Sam Shepard and Joe Morton; directed by noted scum, Rob Cohen. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

Hello, I'm Andrew Jupin. Eric Siska, Steven Sadek, Ben Worcester. And we hate movies. Hello, everyone. Welcome to We Hate Movies on the Side Show Network. Welcome to the second week of our summer blockbuster extravaganza. So exciting. Hashtagg SBE 2015, y'all.

We're joined this week by our good friend Ben Worcester from over on Blam it on Outer Space. How you doing, buddy? Pleasure to be here. Very excited. It's, man, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it you guys have upgraded since the last time I, I stopped by. I think we painted the place. All that side show money.

Oh, yeah. Forget about it. We're rolling in it. Wow. This is my android. This isn't actually not me. I don't record the show with these guys anymore. Yeah, Steve's actually just talking from his couch with a thing of goggles on.

Oh, it's like, what was that movie with Bill and Ted's Bogus journey? What's sad is I almost said John McLean. Bruce Willis. Oh, surrogates. Yeah. He's got a surrogate right here. won my award for absolute worst special effects of the year

in whatever year that movie came out. It's just dog shit. Speaking of bad special effects. Yeah, we're talking about stealth from 2005 directed by Rob Cohen. I think this is a three-peat now for Rob Cohen movies on this show. Right. The skulls? The scows. That was

one. Oh, God, what was the other one? I don't think that there was a second. No, we definitely did. This is the three-peat now. Dragonheart? No, but I would say Stay tuned I was going through his IMDB and Yeah, oh it's just a litany

It's a smelly list of movies Oh my God Ben I'm going to turn so I can see you Crane in my neck here There we are Yeah there was another one It's coming Yeah I'm getting the internet ticker going

Oh alright you know what Alex Cross for the worst of 2012 Oh man Yeah You By the way you also directed the boy next door this year I saw that movie Oh, yeah, so did I.

Woof. Yeah. He's just keeping it going, man. He just loves making shitty movies. He really does. He does. It might be the most rotten apple of the bunch, though. Yeah, quite possibly.

So, by the way, if anyone doesn't recall, this is the movie that I ran a private screening for noted film critic Gene Shalett. Right. And all I could think about the entire time rewatching was that perfectly timed toilet flush of his. Oh, my God. it's got Oscar written all over it

toilet flush that man knew what he was doing and he wasn't wrong about this movie so if anyone doesn't remember this movie Steve what is this movie about how sorry the surrogates choking on a chicken bone

why would you program your surrogate to have the same horrendous eating habits that you do here's the problem the movie should be about an evil plane you know and that's what you're selling me on with the trailer a lot of people

were like oh it's 2001 meets top gun I would love it I would fucking love that movie I don't this movie is like the mod squad meets behind enemy lines meets I don't know what toilet flush

meets a good old fashion toilet flush meets a Jean shallot fucking dump right I'm pretending I'm taking a dump on the movie Toilet Flage. Yeah, it's like This was the movie where it's Josh Lucas, remember him. Unless any of you out there are watching The Mysteries of Laura on NBC.

Toilet Flush. Yeah, poor guy. Voice of Home Depot. Oh, is he really? Toilet flush. Well, you're buying the toilet that you will later flush at Home Depot. He's the voice on those commercials? He certainly is.

Come on down today for a paint swatch or whatever. Whatever you get at Home Depot. Sounds great. I have a landlord and a super. More saving. Oh, more doing. That's the power of the Home Depot. More doing.

You know what? He's doing pretty fine then. What were you going to say, Steve? The mysteries of Laura getting renewed is just like, I think the president of NBC was, well, we can't cancel everything. Just like, really was just fed up with, like, somebody just had like a cancellation form of. We want to cancel this one, too. Now I'm waiting for the HBO, uh, late shift-esque movie that's just called the

mystery of the mysteries of Laura and it's just like the embattled NBC president like fighting with his like staff of boardroom people we can't cancel everything something has to stay I'm not getting rid of SVU Hargetay stays here they haven't gotten through the mysteries yet like right we don't we haven't figured her out yet dude the mystery is how does she balance being a cop and being a mom toilet flush yeah exactly You need a toilet flush. That is a mystery, though. So it's Josh Lucas.

It's Jessica Beal of having Justin Timberlake's baby fame. And, you know. Seventh Heaven Texas Chainsawr Massacre Remake, which is the worst thing of all time. Unless you want to see someone pull a handgun out of their vagina. Oh. That's what happens in that picture. So it also happened in Machete, right? Oh, really?

Oh, no, that was a cell phone. Excuse me. Totally ripped off the Michael Bay, Texas. chainsaw remake though. Get your vaginas straight man. I'm trying. I mean, I guess the theme is they come in handy. Yeah. And then Jamie Fox from recently notable things like butchering the National Anthem

at that horrible boxing match. Oh, my Lord. That's just, that's some of the worst singing you've ever seen, but some of the best anti-signing I've ever seen. It's like an Andy Kaufman gag. They had him singing the anthem at, what is it, the Mayweather? Yeah. Mayweather, Pachio, a non-fight. He comes out to sing the national anthem. I don't know what song he was singing.

Not quite a Ray today, huh? Academy Award winner. He's, but he's also easily, aside from Sam Shepard, who kind of doesn't count the best actor in this movie, right? Yeah, yeah, I like pretty easily. Also noted for that wretched, amazing Spider-Man, too, where he played Electro. Yikes. That's bad.

I don't know what was worse in that movie. him as Electro or him as the nerdy janitor before becoming Electro? The bottom of cinema is Paul Giamatti as the rhino, right? Oh, man. And you know what? When they announced that, and very smartly announced that they were not continuing that branch of the franchise, Paul Giumati was like, oh, shit, I put on that stupid Russian accent for nothing.

Put me in a stupid jumpsuit. And then inside a big elephant or whatever it was, just kicking himself. I still have not seen that movie. Am I missing anything? You're fine. You're totally fine. I shouldn't spend those three hours. Your life will be worse if you watch that movie. You're missing Jamie Fox's Electro is what you're missing.

That's true. The sad thing is there's like that little tingle in me that's like, you've got to go back and see what this was. That's Fox. That's Fox. But that's, I mean, that's the curiosity with any superhero movie ever. Like, even if you're like, I'm never going to watch it, you're like, maybe I will

and then I go see Electra in theaters then that happens so it's your classic action movie triad white guy white girl black guy and what the function is the white guy and the white girl can kiss each other

and the black guy can die so they can have something to talk about right like that's the whole point so they can really come together at his funeral at the end of the movie when they're shipping a bag full of rocks overboard because there ain't no body left and then they can be like man you know sitting here at jamie fox's fake funeral reminds me

that i'd really love to have sexual intercourse with you thanks dead jamie fox well he served his purpose uh i mean i get the top gun analogies i mean one like jet planes sure but two like it's like the hot shit pilot nonsense yep but instead of the excellent soundtrack that top gun had What are we privy to in this movie? Oh, a lot of incubus. Oh, man, just incubus right out the ass. The worst kind of like fat boy slim, club, brave, like new metal garbage. Like, it's just all over this movie.

I will stand up for my incubus fans. I had, you know, all the way through Morning View were doing pretty good murderer crows is where I started to tip my toe out of the whole thing. I remember burning a copy of a murder of crows from you. And was like, this is probably where the road ends. I've got better things to do. We're like starting to get so far away from burning CDs for a second. I thought you meant actually burning it.

No, I actually took a bunch of MP3s that Steve downloaded off of a lime wire and made a CD out of it. You can be pitched. The incubus people are going to come after you. Brandon Flowers? No, that's the dude from the killers. Oh, Brandon, something. He is Brandon something. Is he not the brother of somebody?

I don't know. He's somebody's brother. What was the deal? Everybody's somebody's brother. Fair enough, Eric. So, Brandon Incubis, right? Brandon Incubis is his name. Oh, right, right, right, right. So we get ourselves a scroll because this is not a movie.

You would think this movie is just like set in the now. No, no, no, no. We're in the near future. It's the near future, though, which because it's near means, hey, this is a cautionary tale. But it's almost come true. You know, like, I think this is set now. I think it's set today. I mean, yeah, we're ostensibly talking about drones.

Right, but we made them much stupider for this movie, right? It's a drone that's voiced by Wentworth Miller from Prison Break. Yep. Oh, that's who that was? Yeah, doing that robot voice. Oh, man. That was the one, the plane, I guess we'll get to the, the plane, but he's just whiny.

It's a whiny plane, wasn't it? Yeah, it's a whiny-ass plane. Yeah. It's like, you know, if you took that and you were like, you want a great example of this, it's Paul Bettney as Jarvis. Sure. Because it's kind of the same thing. It's an English robot voice. Right, yeah. Well, one, you've

got Paul Bettany, hand way up, and on the other end, you've got Wentworth Miller, hand way down. Up, down. Just like these planes go, all throughout this movie. I want to get to the special effects. There's some of the worst special effects

you'll ever see in a movie. And they do the really annoying thing where we have a shot and it's like a computer shot and a bunch of computer planes are going to fly by. And then we have to fake, shake the camera. Like the velocity of the plane is shaking. It's so fast.

Stop. Just stop it. It's so stupid. He has the camera at the end of whatever Go-Go has and kill Bill. Like the camera is sweeping and swive. Oh, right, that, uh, well, that, that razor ball. The razor mace that she has. Like, essentially

it's the same thing. Like, it's, the camera's everywhere. Go-Go-Ubari. Yes. Yeah. Wish she was in this movie. That'd give him something to do. Getting chased around by her half the time. Yeah. Why not? She just appeared out of the demilitarized zone. Swinging her chain.

She parts the mist. Oh, the radioactive mist. Oh, man. So we're three hot shit pilots. 400 applied for the... It's the near future. We needed to create something new to combat all the terrorism we have in 2005

and in the near future. And by the way, we're not mentioning Iraq and Afghanistan in this movie, so I guess we won those two. In this near future, we won. Yeah, don't worry about it. Two check marks right there. We figured it out. Two gold stars for those wars.

We're on to the next one. Well, I think this was around Mission Accomplished, you know? Yeah. This movie was 2005? Yeah, when was mission accomplished? Yeah, around there. Maybe a year before. Yeah.

We're putting on a big dumbass jacket and going out on the Abraham Lincoln and acting like a fucking jerk. Yeah, I remember that. It was really early. Yeah. Really early. Yeah. Well, it's like you're at a party and, you know, an hour goes by. You've had three beers like, you know what, man?

This is the best party I've ever been to. And then, you know what's going to happen? your girlfriend's going to cheat on you, you're going to throw up, and someone's going to steal your cell phone. Like, all those things can happen. That's your summary of the George W. Bush administration. Yeah, and then you can't wake up naked on a lawn and go mission accomplished.

So, yeah, 400 pilots applied. The three, the cream of the crop, really got it, which are Josh Lucas, Jessica Biel and Jimmy Fox. And of this crop of people, I think they're all pre this program Best Buds. They appear to have known each other for a long time. Well, this program's been going on for a while, let's see.

Oh, has it? Okay. I thought it was like just kind of starting up. Right. I mean, they might have gone to Starfleet together. This is the not too distant future. It is. Hey, speaking of Starfleet, the script for this movie, originally a Star Fox movie. What? Can you believe that?

That's how far this shit fell down the good movie tree. Fuck, dude, give me a Star Fox movie. Can you imagine a Star Fox movie? Josh Lucas as Star McLeod or whatever he was. Fox McLeod. Oh, excuse me. Wait, which one of them was Ribbitt? Jamie Fox, most definitely.

Yeah, probably. Help me! That's what Jamie Fox says in this movie. Help me! Was there like a sexy bird in that video game or what? Falco, he was not sexy man, but he had some attitude. Oh, man, I would totally cast Sam Shepard as Peppy, the rabbit, right? Yeah, because he's the older states, but your father helped me like that too.

Who is Jessica Beale? They didn't have lady characters in those games. I think that there was a lady that came around sometimes, like a lady fox. She had her own play. Oh, vaguely recalling this. Yeah. She wasn't part of the team because it would be incestuous if she was. But, like, I think she had like a girl team of Star Fox.

Maybe I'm making that up. Star Foxes. Oh, yeah. That's Steve Zadex porno parody of Nintendo games. You were just sitting there imagining like the universe of Star Fox. What happened if a lady fox came in?

Maybe a lady frog. Are you confusing the sexy bunny from space change? No, I'm not. Oh, all right. That's a sexy bunny. Well, I'm just also now thinking about like when that whole series Jump the Fox, as you will.

Is that game where he's running around and he's got a gun for some reason it's the same problem with this movie stay in the fucking plane you are so right dude i think it was the game cube star fox that they had it sunk the franchise i don't know if there was one for the we

i just also want to put this out there this is allegedly a star who's supposed to be a star box movie it's an i mdb trivia thing okay it says it there i've never known the i mdb to lie that's true that kid is working in a gas just like george washington yeah that kid the kid the kid from blind fear is definitely working at that

gas station. Yeah. I mean, I just, I saw that. And even if it's not true, God, we need a Star Fox movie yesterday. Yeah, we do. And I'm thinking in this analogy, Kim John Ill would have been Andross. The big monkey with the hands. Oh, yeah. He just clapped you to death. That's the most intimidating thing. There was a space monkey that clapped you to death. Yeah, that was the last, oh, you didn't get very far in Star Fox. We were not all as good at Star Fox. Oh, dude. Steve and I played some Starfog. Dude, someone had to rib it and cry for help.

So, we're the best pilots ever. We start off on a training mission, and, you know, obviously it's like a fake. It looks like they're really doing something. And they blow up a cave that someone meticulously put a bunch of dummies in. That part, I couldn't get over. They're like flying around. They do basically like a Star Wars, like fire the missile into, like, like the tiny opening, the cave opening.

But then they, like, they go and have a shot inside a fully furnished cave with, like, wax dummies and, like, there's just no point to that. It's also, it's the same thing when they would populate those Adam bomb towns. Yeah, right? Why? What does it matter? So the upper brass can walk down there and go to the cave and been like, yep, that one would have been dead. That one would have been dead. That one would have been dead.

They're all burnt. They're all burnt. They would have been dead. But they're evaporated after this thing. Yeah, there's nothing to look at. It's all gone. That proves it right there. It actually reminded me because I just watched the series finale of the X-Files a couple days ago for the third time.

And when that helicopter's launching a bunch of missiles into that Pueblo and cigarette smoking man gets it, that's the same fate. Cigarette smoking man got the same fate as those dummies. Well, I guess he was a dummy in that situation, right? Sounds like he got stealthed. Yeah, he was just hiding out, dude, and he got a little too cocky, and then he got blown up by a helicopter. It was great. They spent $4.5 billion to blow up some mannequins, right?

And now we get our pat on the head from boss Sam Shepard. Sam Shepard, who's, like, a really cool playwright, but we'll do any of the... Like, I'm surprised Sam Shepard doesn't have a supporting role in boat trip. Because why not? Sam Shepard will pop up in garbage movies like this. Right. You know, I mean, everybody's got to eat.

I get it, but it's like great playwright, like, very, like, esteemed career in the theater. Sam Shepard, I'll do your YouTube video. Hey, who cares? Yeah, exactly. I think he was in one of our old web series. I'll have to go back and look. I was in the right stuff. Remember that?

I was it, 1983. I could do this. What problem? Now I'm the boss. That's pretty good. It's all right. And he's like, so, hey, so this big mission, you know, we're going to take it to the next level. We're taking this relationship to the next level.

Here comes your fourth guy. And Jamie Fox is like, no, no, no, wait a second. We got a white guy, a white girl, and a black guy. Don't go fucking up the formula. I mean, really, I think that the way to finish that formula is sentient dog. Like, wisecracking dog, me? Well, I think all dogs are sentient, right? Well, yeah, no.

I mean, I just mean, I just be like a dog like a dog. talk maybe. Right. Talking dog, talking cat. Yeah, I mean, because you wouldn't want a Hispanic gentleman or like, you know, maybe another woman would be way too many. Yeah, I mean, please. But much to everyone's pleasure,

it's just a robot. A non-body robot. It's a ball. And Sam Shepard takes fucking forever to tell anybody about it. Oh, because he thinks, he thinks it's going to be funny. Right? Like, he's like, oh man, he's talking to like his number do. He's like, oh, I'm,

I'm telling them there's a fourth member of their team and they're getting all burned up in their britches about it. They think it's another person. Turns out it's a robot. They don't know it's a robot. I'm not going to tell them until the cockpit opens. And he acts like a robot's a real person and stuff. You'll be nice to Ed there, Eddie.

Eddie. Yeah, EDI, which is some acronym. You can just call me Rod Sterling. I got a surprise robot for you. And then rounding out the cast of, I guess notable enough actors because we are talking about robots becoming sentient and taking over the world.

Joe Morton, responsible once again for the downfall of humanity. Right, right, right. Skynet's own. Yeah, first Skynet, now this. But it turns out he's like not in on the whole scheme. He's in the side of the angels here. Yeah, and you know, I hate this

and I always have to say it every time he's in a movie, not enough Joe Morton. Yeah. He's in like four scenes and it's unfortunate. He plays like the, captain of the aircraft carrier? I don't know. He's like Sam Shepard's boss. Right. He like reluctantly allows this uh, Kakamini robot

experiment. Yeah, this Tom Foolery, I believe he calls it. I got, I got some chills when he was, uh, examining the AI and it was like, oh, careful, careful. Just careful. We, yeah, exactly. We got to talk about that because they look at this goddamn robot. For some reason, there's a cockpit. I don't get it. I don't get why there's a cockpit. There's an empty cockpit. It's amazing because Josh Lucas is like, hey, that doesn't make a whole lot of sense. He's like, no, no, no, that's for testing. Well, then Josh Lucas is like, hey, the only reason that's there is if I'm going to be flying it at the end of the movie.

I got to have some place to sit down. Well, they also, they open Eddie up, too. And it's just like, like the ball pops down. It looks like the flight of the navigator. Yeah. Remember that? Remember that? I do remember that.

Flight of the navigator. That's where that kid, uh, in Florida, we're hanging out with dad. Ebony Coleman or whatever. There's like a spaceship comes down. It's got like a, like a, what is it? Like a robot, a big eye body or something. It's like, hey, Davey, come fly in the UFO with me. I don't think I've ever seen this movie.

It's a Disney movie. Oh, really? Yeah, it was pretty big. Kids stows away on a, on a spaceship. Every boy's dream. That's dangerous. He doesn't want that. That's some close encounters nonsense.

Right, right up your, you know, depending on what kind alien you got there. Yeah, benevolent or curious. I don't know. Or a near-retirement rabbit. Your father proved me like that, too. Gross. The sample felt far from the tree, Fox. You know what, Pebb, you get the fuck out of my face.

Oh, I loved it when they would talk shit if you shot them down. Look out, that's me! And I was like, I know what I'm doing. I don't need a team. I think that's why I never got far in that game. It was just too fun. killing your own yeah i love it so they go out on this test mission and they're like all right fly with this robot and they're all like kind of pissed about well this is an hour into the movie because

there's so much diddling downtime oh my god like they like they're hanging out at the bar like fucking sucking their own whatever's oh that's right because they're like Josh lucies Josh Luke is much like me is like let's go fly with that robot Sam shepard's like no no sure leave first go study up he gives them two short leaves in this movie. They get two breaks. And we have to watch them. Watch both of them. They go on the one break and it's like

better be back here in a week because you're going to fly with that robot. And they go to like, well, no, your new partner. Who's your new partner? Oh, this is before the robo reveal? Oh, I see. And they're just like, Jamie Fox and what's his, and Josh Lucas are on dates. This is at the bar right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're like, they just smash

cut to a pair of tits and you're like, oh, yeah, okay. And this woman, this woman goes, I got to go pee. And I was like, are you like a lady with the brain of a five year old? Why are you talking like that? That's the way Josh Lucas likes. Hey man. It's easier that way.

And so Josh Lucas is like going to go bang this woman and he like looks at Jessica Beal and she's like giving the okay. Like yep, that's all right. I'll just be here at this sushi bar or whatever. Because they're improbably not having sex with each other.

They're both gorgeous as anything. They love each other. They're best Pals, no, well, we would be, we would just be wrong. Yep, yep. And we're in the military. I mean, we're only around each other all the time. It'd be great if she was like, I mean, heaven forbid her and Jamie Fox get something going. Not going to happen. Not in Rob Cohen's stealth. I don't know what that means. That means those two are meant for each other.

Josh Lucas and Jessica Biel. I mean, you can see it in their eyes. Or Josh Lucas and Jamie Fox. Don't ask, don't tell. Yeah, I'm okay with that. I prefer that. That'd be more interesting play off a Top Gun. Yes. Let's fucking see it already. Take it to the next level. Right. I want to see what happened after that goddamn volleyball scene. Somebody's getting gused. Let's get into that dangerous zone and find out what happens.

So that's shore leave one. Sure leave one. And then like, so we go on one flight with this. We're like, all right. Here's your pal. Whoops, it's a robot. Now get up in the air and fly with it. Make nice with it. Because it's going to know if you don't like it. And they're like, oh, is it all calibrated? Is it good to go? Yeah, yeah, it's fine.

This is just a test run anyway. And he's like, oops, got a call. You guys are needed for some reason. Got to go to Myanmar and blow up a building. The first time you're flying with artificial intelligence. Let's go. Blow something up. Let's go.

An actual mission? Pretty much cause a terrorist attack as far as those people are concerned. It's in a city. It's not like it's like some fucking dirt village somewhere. This is a fucking happening city. Don't take out a skyscraper. In the most unbelievable fashion, too. Rangoon, I believe, is the city. Oh, yeah, you're totally right.

And, you know, it's not like, all right, they all go up. They're all doing like loop to loops. Go, woohoo. Hey, you got some good moves. And they start calling him Eddie. Your father helped me like that, too. I don't know. I've read your dossier.

You know what, Eddie is the Falco. of this team. I'll tell you that much. A real fucking prick. It really is. His shit doesn't stink. I mean, he doesn't shit, buddy. You just, you would pray for Falco to die. You wanted him to be down by those aliens every round of that game. Praying for death. The Falco story?

But so you would think, like, so they're doing loop to loops. They start calling him Tin Man. He's like, you doesn't get it. No one else has cool call signs, which is kind of a problem from me. Where was Josh Lucas's call sign? Yep, right? He's supposed to be Maverick, but they just call him They call him Ben, which I took umbrage with.

Well, yeah, no one no one's like T-Bone or Oh, come on. Give me a good T-Bone. Jamie Fox as T-bone. Thank you very much. Jessica Beal as chainsaw. That would have been cool. Thriller, maybe. Get a thriller going. Yeah, something nice.

Josh Lucas could be Icebox. You can get those at the Home Depot It'd be great if they started calling them Star Fox That was just a self-side. Why not? Why the fuck not? That would have been pretty cool. But no. They're going for Top Gunn in this movie, but they just,

they fail every which way. It's horrible. We got Ben and Sarah. Gerald. And Tin Man. And then Tin Man. He makes it so much worse. And Tin Man of all of them is like, my name is Eddie.

Shut up, Tin Man. You're Tin Man now. You're not a fucking human. You don't get a first name. You don't have a Lord, a Lord given name. Well, until the end of the movie where he gets a heart from meeting the wizard. He does. Oh, shit.

That's right. Yeah, man. They yellow brick all the way to North Korea. Dude, if Dorothy and that team of idiots wound up in North Korea, a better movie. And I love the Wizard of Us, but better movie. It would be a better movie, right? That movie could use an interrogation scene.

I want to see those monkeys doing something other than flying. I want to lock someone in a room with one of those fucking monkeys to see what happens. If I ever got to see a scene where a flying monkeys waterboarding a scarecrow seven star motion picture. Oh my God. And it's like

we cut back and forth. They're doing like the Chinese water torture on this scarecrow. And what's great about that is he starts to mold. Oh, man. Oh, no, the scarecrow's a little ripe. Yeah, man. That's how you slowly kill him.

The lion, you just get some idiot from like South Carolina to go on a fucking hunting trip and the lion will just get murdered. I'll tell you what, if I see one more picture of some fucking moron white person with a raffle in one hand, a fucking lion's dead skull and another, use your

gun for good. You know, I heard of a great big lion that's making a whole mess in the Middle East called ISIS. Right? Go be a real man. Yeah, right. Yeah, why not? So,

Sam Shepard has $16 billion up in the sky right now. But he gets a phone call that the meeting from the beginning of naked gun is going on somewhere. Because it's a meeting of multiple terrorist cells

altogether. They all got plans against Lady America, right? So we got to go there right now. He's like, we'll never get this shot again. But he's also like, Sam Shepard is very clearly pushing the program too far, right? Yeah, he's got some, you know, nefarious motivations

in this picture. Time to go to Rangoon. Let's go to, I don't know, Rangoon. Yeah, totally random choice. I mean, I'm sure there's got be a terrorist meeting somewhere around there. Yeah, just blow up that building. No, no, that one next. Yeah, the one next, yeah.

Blow up that Rangoon holiday in. Because the robot is like, your missiles will not work. There's too much fortified, concrete, and steel. Send the robot home. If we want to do this mission, we've got three fucking human beings that are the best of the best. The robot, the prototype robot goes home. Yeah, that's Josh Lucas's argument, right?

I thought you're going to say Josh Lucas was the prototype robot. I think you What with all the stiff acting? Oh, that's the mystery of Laura. That's the end of it. But that is a robot the whole time. Deborah Messing

like accidentally pushes him in a pool playfully and he fucking explodes. But he like the robot wants to do the strike, right? But Josh Lucas is like, nah, this is how a red-blooded American does it. Well, it's bullshit because the robot is like, I've calculated that this missile I have, if I fly like two miles up into the sky and then like start going down as fast as I can, the force will push the missile that much farther down into the building, that much harder.

And he's like, but you can't do it because humans will pass out from the forest or like whatever it is. And Josh Lucas is like, oh yeah, robot, out of my way. Well, it's the 73% chances is going to have. He's like, well, I didn't get where I got, being in the 73%. And then the other two VR troopers and the other planes are just like, yeah, like cheering them on. Just literally sitting in the sky doing nothing. That's what's great. It's because it's like, they are the three best in the world, but of the best in the world, he's the best of the best of the best in the world.

Because he's the white male, Andrew. That's what you get. Never forget. This is Rob Cohen still. It is. So he does this horse shit stunt. and it works, and this holiday inn collapses like a controlled demolition.

Oh, yeah. It went down like building 7. Oh. Wrong program. I know Ben's here, but wrong program. Yeah. I will not discuss what will and will not melt steel beans. I refuse. Right. Yeah. If new listeners

don't know, Ben and I have a program called Blaming on Outer Space where we talk about conspiracy theories. It's true. It's true. In a yuckle-filled fashion. Right. it takes place in an alternate dimension. I play a character, also named Eric. Yeah, so this building goes down and they're like, woohoo, good job, best of the best of the best.

And on the way back, Eddie gets struck by lightning. Which, you know what movie? The chopping mall method, by the way, in case they're wondering. Oh, absolutely. What are we doing? Well, it's also like 2001, right? It's like the mystic. It's sort of like the monolith,

making things conscious of their potential. this lightning strike. Yeah, but like, that's what's great about 2001. It's like the monolith is hanging out and then like Hal very subtly makes a mistake. Yeah. Oh, it's a good movie, yeah. This, yeah, it's just like, lightning.

Which comes out of nowhere after this like, again, the missile strike or you're just like, ah, and then within seconds, lightning comes out. Just strikes the plane. It's a crystal clear day, just like 9-11, you know? and it's like lightning like out of no you're like what the fuck

come on and if I again if I'm spending $500 million to make this thing I'm gonna make it I'm gonna make sure to see what happens when lightning strikes them

eventually and if I'm getting paid $30 million to write this screenplay I'm gonna work in some stuff like I don't know if we should do this mission weather's looking awfully shitty

yep build up a storm of not just rando lightning phenomenon no that's confirmed act of God God wanted Eddie to be alive He wanted him to be a real little boy

Oh boy I'm a real little boy Better job than Winworth Miller You just did Oh thank you Did anyone notice when the lightning struck the plane And they do like Yeah it's the life giving moment

And they cut in a bunch of like weird stuff They had like DNA strands That sort of like split apart So the plane has DNA now What's happening? There's some nonsense that Sam Shepard bandies about in the movie. It's around here, oh, he says, there's no blood in those quantum veins. So it's like, I don't know.

I guess there's some form of people, something. When the, like, the egghead is monitoring him or something, he's like, wow, look at his brain activity. And I was like, what does this robot have here? It has Charles Manson's brains put into a robot body. It's like Cain from Robocop 2. Yeah. Nice. Yeah.

Also, by the way, I just realized something that the, when they bombed that building, the, the robot had scanned the area. Oh. Down to like retinal scans and fingerprint scans of random people. Oh, yeah. What I love about this. The name of the guy? Oh, wait. No.

What guy's name? Shack. Shack L. Hourri. Shack. Oh, he got shack attacked. I noticed that too I had to pause it was like

Are they killing Shaq right now? Dude, if that guy like ran into a mall with a vest on And did like a suicide bombing would that be a shack attack It might be What I was going to say about all that computer mumbo jumbo is like We're watching this display and because this movie's terrible And we don't know what any of this is the display has to say things like facial recognition, you know, like fingerprint scan.

But like the robot doesn't need that. Like who is that for? Only the audience. Oh, man. Very terrible. So he lands and like Josh Lucas is like, there's something wrong with this robot. Let me go talk to the chief engineer. The chief engineer, by the way, needs a death.

Right? Like that's, I was expecting evil plane antics in which. Oh, the head hacker? Yeah. Who's like, you know, he tells us what Eddie can do. And, like, Eddie starts downloading, and I, I'm quote here, all the music in the world off of the internet. He's, like, he's playing some shitty new metal song. And he's like, hey, what's this?

He's like, oh, Eddie's playing music. Eddie likes music. He's like, yeah, he downloads it off the net. And what did he download? All of it. Oh, man. Josh Lucas is like, hey, robot, the record companies, you're not going to be happy with you. That's a lie.

Oh, does he say that? He mentions the, yeah. Oh, Jesus. And also, did you guys catch the name of this egghead? No. His head scientist? I believe his name was Dr. Keith Orbit. No, that's the second egg.

What? Yeah, this movie has two eggheads. They're both the best in the world, by the way. One is, like, the guy who works for Dr. Keith Orbit. Orbit, right? Dr. Keith Orbit is the guy who designed this plain brain system. Yeah. But then there's this other fella, this lackey, you know, he's making, like,

$16 an hour. He's like, what space name? He's like the IT guy. Yeah. Does he have a space name too? I don't think. I think it's like Kevin. But Dr. Keith Orbit, you know what I kept laughing at? It sounds like a Reverend Cleophis dollar. You know that guy? Oh, right. That scumbag. Oh, he's a Georgia. Yeah. He's this like, you know, like super church pastor or whatever. Two awesome things about this dude. One was he was like, they're talking about this on nightly show because Larry Wilmore loves making fun of him. Creflo Dollar said that God told him that he wanted his congregation to donate a bunch of money so Creflo Dollar could buy like a billion dollar private jet.

And then like a couple weeks later, there was another video where he was like, if people want to make fun of me for my jet thing, well, how about this? If God tells me I need $6 billion for a spaceship, we got to do it. And the congregation's like, yeah. Praise the spaceship. Oh, it's awesome. But yeah, every time they were like Dr. Keith Orbit, I was just laughing. I would like to be on that guy's arc, you know?

Like you fill that spaceship up. Oh, space arc. Yeah. Space arc. Seems like a pretty good end. Yeah. You know. I think they did that on a treehouse of horror one time.

And Homer was stuck sitting next to Rosie O'Donnell or some terrible joke. So this is our second shore leave, by the way. Well, because the egg head goes to Josh Lucas. Josh Look was like, do you think this? This robot space plane is ready and the egghead doesn't answer. And that's the cues that, well, that's all I needed to know. And he has to, and again, in another like ripping off 2001, he's like, oh, we can't talk about this in front of the robot. Let's go behind this curtain, this white scribe out of nowhere.

And so, and they totally rip off 2001 because they keep doing close-ups on the robot's red eye, just like how. And it's like, yeah, the robots, I guess reading the. shadow play of their mouths. Yeah, but then, so we're going on Shoreleave number two. Josh Lucas storms into what's called Sam Shepard's office, who's always eating apples, which makes me, I don't know.

Or smoking cigars. Those are the two things he does. Smoking apples or eating cigars. Rolled on the thighs of mulatto women. Did you guys catch that line? Yes, yes. Mercy me. Where the hell did that come from?

A Sam Shepard play. Wait, where can I get these cigars? Yeah, first things first. Where can we get a case of these? I mean, I think it's there to show you that he's kind of an asshole because, like, Josh Lucas gives the white guy, ha, ha, ha, ha, I shouldn't be here right now. I'm a little uncomfortable. Yeah. Yeah, but I'm going to let it happen.

But you know what, though? Like, yeah, whatever, it's offensive. But at least it's not fine Cubano cigars like every other movie and TV show ever. That's true. So Josh Lucas storms in. He's like, this is what's going on in the movie. He's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's fine. You got to go to Thailand, brother.

You need to chill out. You and your team need another break. And we're like 48 minutes into this. We're like, come on. Even Josh Lucas has a line. He's like, but we just got here. And I was like, I know, movie. No, no, no.

Why don't you take your wing woman there and go to a really sexy, mystical waterfall? Here, take my camera. Head to Thailand and give me some nice shots. I think it might be Sam Shepard's camera, because this is 2000. and it's an old film camera that they're using to take these waterfall pick. Stop it.

I mean, it's so clearly an excuse to get Jessica Beale who is lovely, by the way. A stunning woman. Sure. But she's doing nothing in this movie. And it's like... It has nothing to do. We, you know, probably in the ink of her contract is like, you will appear

in a bikini. We have, in Thailand, we have it. We have it all set out. And it's just so, it's so like, they just immediately cut to waterfall. That's what classes it up, though. You know?

The waterfall? She's just in a bikini at the mess hall. Yeah, yeah. You're totally right. Or the barracks or the shower. No, no, no. You've got to have that artistic water. It's like a bachelor date

at nowhere. Like the middle of the whole fucking thing ends. It's like, oh, well, got this space plane. It's probably going to kill everybody. But first, you got to give her the rose under that Thailand waterfall. Doesn't Josh Lucas seem like a bachelor

contestant that like made it all the way yeah he's like the luckiest bachelor contestant of all time he was in um i first saw him in that david gordon green movie undertow where he's like a shitty like terrifying stepfather to a couple of kids yeah good movie he's a i mean he's a pretty good actor usually he's better when he plays dark i think he's one of those guys yeah you're not getting that on mysteries of laura not so much i'll never stop making fun of that show so they're in Thailand for no reason. And like Jamie Fox is hitting on ladies. Like Jamie Fox has nothing to do in this

movie. No, it's total wasted talent. Well, he sexually walks a bicycle down a road. Yeah, that's nice. That's what he's doing. It's pretty great because it's Jamie Fox. Like he meets this woman on a staircase and they hit it off and whatnot. Of course she does.

He's fucking Jamie Fox. Yeah, totally. She's not stupid and blind. Not yet. well you know maybe tomorrow you never know right but so they're on this date you know walking through the field on the bikes and whatever and they're basically he's like you know wow you got a great country here it's so beautiful ah i could retire here or some some such line and as soon as he said that i was like oh jamey fox is dead in this movie didn't he oh absolutely he's like oh this you have a beautiful country here and then of course there's a gag like you don't understand a single

word I say and she's like sex party and he's like all right that's the phrase I wanted because they're out to drinks or something and in Thailand because again the plane is nowhere near here and Jessica Biel

goes to the bathroom and like Josh is like man I'm in love with her and he's like oh fuck dude like you know what she worked really hard to get here blah blah blah you're going to fuck it up you're not allowed to sleep with anybody but also just don't be in love to have sex with each other Yeah, just get down to fucking. Sam Shepard clearly is okay with it, by the way.

If you're sitting these people off to Thailand, if there's one person who's not going to be wagging his finger, it's Mr. Why Don't you go to Thailand for two weeks? And if he had a problem with it, he'd make them take Eddie. Got your babysitter right here. I put the robot ball in a bassinet. You've got to walking around Thailand with you. He's going to make sure you're not fucking.

Yeah, exactly. But that doesn't happen because he's okay if they're DTF. Get your hand off her. Leave a little room for the good lord. Eddie the Buzzkill robot date security guard. Maybe Eddie wouldn't be as evil if he was included in these other pilot activities. Sure. It's just like Rudolph the red nose reindeer, man.

Include him in those fucking reindeer games. Exactly. Remember when Rudolph went berserk at the end and tried to kill everyone? Yes, I do. Eddie, come on, do a shot with this. I don't know if I should. He and Mr. Simpson split a case of malt liquor. Jamie Fox, you're a dog.

And like, so they almost like, you know, Josh Lucas, again, because there needs to be a romantic subplot, realizes he doesn't, he wants to be with her, but like it's better for her career for some reason if he doesn't. So he's like, all right, I'm going to go into town to get laid. She's like, all right, we were just having a nice conversation. Nope, town time. You've got to get this shit wet.

It's like, all right. It's called shore leave for a reason. That doesn't make any sense. They get beeped because there, here comes. The movie is, by the way, the movie's still going on. Oh, really? Yeah, I don't know. It didn't follow them to Thailand, but it's like them.

It's like when your car breaks down and it's like, man, we're going to be a while. Oh, there's a general store like a half mile back. Why don't you guys walk to the general store and I'll stay here with the car? And you get like 500 feet away. Like, now the car started. Never mind. Come back. Yeah.

The movie's. back on we gotta go or like you're at a restaurant you get one of those like really terrifying beeper things that they give you for your table to get ready and you're just having a drink start having a really good conversation and that shit goes off you're like oh fuck

it'll shake a whole table I hate those things looking at you Panera bread oh do they use them too? Oh all the time it's just the worst so we're off to Tajikistan which as Sam Shepard reminds us is that's one of

them breakout satellite thing of my jigs after the Soviet Union fell. That's run by a warlord. Sure, why not? Like, what the fuck? A naval commander uses the, yeah, a warlord runs that country. The whole country, not like a tribal warlord of Afghanistan. Yeah, just the whole thing. They're not the CIA.

They're just the Navy. Like, again, this does not require a naval strike. You get a fucking couple of CIA agents. Yeah, figure that shit out. You know, let's get this experiment. fucking Borg plane and the three of the best the military has to offer. It doesn't make any

sense. And going along with the worst computer graphics of all time in this movie, we're doing a little Indiana Jones map jumping. Oh yeah. But what we're doing is to highlight, this is so dumb, to highlight the countries on the map that the movie

needs you to look at, it's in like chunky, gross yellow highlighter. Right. Like outlining the border of the country and then the name. Oh, it's terrible. It's like a shitty DVD with yellow subtitles. Don't you hate those? I hate it, but here's a tip.

If you're going to use fake countries, don't show those the math. Yeah. Don't circle something and say, yeah, they're the bad fake people. Yeah. I think it's real? Tajikistan's a real country. Are you serious? Yes, that's what's ridiculous about it.

Wait, wait, is it controlled by a warlord? That lives in a castle in this movie. That, I don't think happens. The fucking dragon from the Hobbit comes out at some point, I think, guarding this Tajikistan castle. And it's just like, before you know it, they're back in the air, right? And it's like, hey, we have to, what's the excuse now? It's like, they've got nuclear weapons.

Yes, because we're going to blow them up, thus blowing up their nukes. Sure. And the whole thing is like a good idea. They're like, he wouldn't want a CIA extraction team. get some payloads up there again send $16 billion of missiles at it like Well listen if those missiles

Can melt them crash test dummies We had in that cave Sure is shit gonna blow up them Newk boxes And they're like hey man So we did the math And it turns out this town is downwind And like nuclear

You know Debris gonna start floating into Russia And Pakistan Like Jessica Beal starts counting the numbers. This is going to be a fucking disaster. And then Joe Morton comes in and he's like, you know what, Sam Shepard, this is bullshit.

And you're way off base here. Like, we got to pull everything back. And this is when our poor lightning struck robot starts going off mission. And they're like, all right, tin man, pull back. We're going to do it another way. And he's like, I don't think so, Michael. And you're like, oh, Kit, come on.

And then, no, he goes rogue. He flicks on the incubus and Which is awesome. This robot needs a soundtrack before he can strike. Come on. Whatever he's acting up, he cranks the new metal. And it's just like, oh, my God. It's like the same three incubus songs the whole time.

He's trying to be cool. What are you doing later? I have all the music in the world. Would you like to listen to some corn? I have the acoustic stuff Does anyone want to listen to Stone Sour? No, no one does. Man, I'm so glad that the world gave a big

huff in the direction of Stone Sour. What is Stone Sour? It was the acoustic side project of the dude from Slipknot. Is that right, Steve Ler? Yeah, you got the nail right in the head there. That in countries, I don't know. And let me tell you something about Stone Sourner. hour masks off. Oh, yeah. You get to see. Intimate. Yeah. Yep. So this robot blows the whole thing up,

doesn't he? Yeah, he blows it up. And everyone's like, well, that sucked. And like, there's just yellow radioactive dust everywhere. Oh, there's like people just turning to pudding in this. Like, it's ridiculous. Well, the thing is Jessica Biel's like, we need a medical team down their stat. And no one says anything. No one. She's totally ignored. Even I was kind of like, medical team. Who are you getting in there? Morgan Freeman in outbreak? Like, come on. That's like a, it's like a heavy job. So then immediately Sam Shepard starts coming up with like cover stories. And Joe Morton's like, all of those are garbage. Like nothing is going to cover up what we did here. Yeah, because he's like,

oh, you know, the news. I don't give a shit what CNN says. I'm like, you just caused a nuclear man. Like that's a real deal thing. This is before Jessica Biel starts World War III. Well, we'll get there. We'll get there. Yes. So then, like, they realize Eddie is and Eddie's going to do more. Like, I think that's what he's got more killing to do. He's got more missions that he's like worked up

in his head or something. Because he flies off on his own after this. He's high on the, on the thrill of like glowing up. The thrill of the kill. Yeah. And it's the movie wants us, you know, it's like, ooh, he, he's learning from humans, you know, so he sees the Josh Lucas, you know, when he

he bombed the thing himself and he's like, this is the way to operate. And so we're supposed to believe now it's like, okay, there's more killing to do and you guys aren't going to stop me. And the one egghead does say that like this robot, you know, he's a learning computer. And he could learn from, you know, anything like he could learn just as much from Adolf Hitler to Captain Kangaroo. Right, because he's got access to the internet. Right. Right. He's not just downloading songs.

He's looking up all military history such as Hitler and Captain Kangaroo. two of the greatest military statesman Captain Crunch This robot's got two speed Slipknot and Stone Sour Guess which one he's doing All the time Strap in

It's Slipknot time But what's amazing is the robot Is like yeah he's like But I saw a dad do it You know But the robot then has no capacity To understand like No no no what he did

was a mistake. Yeah. It was cocky. It was reckless. You shouldn't do that robot. Don't be an asshole in front of a robot. Lesson to everybody. You're damn right. Because you know what? The day of AI is upon us. Sure. Like that shit has dawned. Terrifyingly so. Oh, really? Is there an outbreak? Of AI? Not yet. Dude, we're getting there. You see that little bubbly little Japanese robot that runs around kind of? Oh, God. Everyone, buy a gun. You're listening to this, buy a gun. See, it's already started. Yeah. There's just a big. emergency outside because a robot killed

somebody. Oh my god, it's the ham-fisted montage from the end of Battlestar Galactica. All right. You're right. That's where I know that robot from. Yeah, he's dancing at the end of that show. Oh, is that what they do? Yeah. It's like cautionary sylon tale. Yeah. Oh, mercy. Is there a clip of data? Connect the Ronald D. Moore, man. Yeah, right?

Don't be silly. All right. Fair enough. Speaking of Battlestar Galactica, the helmets they had in this are very BSG. Yeah, they would definitely right out of a Raptor pilot's cockpit, if you ask me. You guys didn't think they just look like they put bike helmets on them and spray painted them? That's what it looked like to me. They look like they're just racing in the X game. Right?

Like everything else is like all the special effects are super cheap and it's just like the worst thing you could do is just, it's simple, right? How hard is it to just get a helmet? but it's like it's right in with everything else yeah well remember Ben we are in the near future

that's true that's true so he's going off and Josh Lucas is like all right hey Jamie Fox go kill that guy and it's like well

you're the fucking hero right and well what's funny is he's like hey Sam Shepard if you don't say anything in the next couple seconds I'm just going to go ahead

and kill this robot and Sam Shepard kind of like just keeps quiet and he's like All right, killing the robot. Get him, Jamie Fox. And Jamie Fox, he does not die at Heroes' death. Here's the big problem.

He just, he shoots a missile and, like, Eddie juke's a move. And, like, he blows himself up. Is that how it goes? He crashes into a mountain. Yeah, it's not a valiant way to go out. And, like, he kind of, like, in the middle of this, like, the robot gives him a little taunt, too, like, goodbye. Oh, you know, like.

It's a computer, like, an A. AOL goodbye joke, I think. Yeah, yeah. You hear a really loud door closing sound. You're hearing that right before you die is amazing. That's amazing. The loudest noise in the world. It was.

Dude, how many takes did they do at the AOL creative offices to get just the right door open creek and door slam sounds? Not enough. Also, right before that, he's some like C3Pio shit. He's like, you have a 7% chance of basting me in combat. Yeah. Well, that's his robot version of like a dickhead comment. Yeah. You know.

And then, yeah, Jamie Foxx slams into a mountain so the robot wasn't wrong. And I don't, you don't even get a. No. From anybody. Everyone's like, oh, man. Like, that's the reaction. Like, ah, ah. Oh, all right.

I don't keep flying this plane. over here, away from the robot. Glad it wasn't me going after. That was a bad idea. I mean, when they send Jamie, like, it's almost like, you know going into it too, like, okay, I see the math here. Yeah, but it's like, when they're like, all right,

you first. Totally. Come on. And if you're the Jamie Fox character, you have to be like, no, Hot Shot. Remember Rangoon last week? Get your ass in there, Hot Shot. Let's go.

Sorry, I have a girlfriend now. could do that. You're not part of this love, Diyadh. My apologies. Your Thai prostitute doesn't count. Go sacrifice yourself. Ah, so he's dead. But yeah, it was a thing where I was just

like, is he? Because it happens like so fast and the movie just moves on and I was like, is he really dead? What happened? Like, I totally had to rewind you. You were expecting to like cut to the mountain side. He had to take it off that bike helmet being like, huh, that was close. Or if he like secretly ejected,

at the last second, you didn't see it. Yeah. You know, something stupid like that. And this explosion, I guess, somehow makes Jessica Beals four billion dollar plane malfunction. She's like, ah, shit. And she's like trying to get out of the way. So she goes out of the way to North Korea. What a detour.

What a mistake. By the way, do you guys recall when, like, when Sam Shepard is delivered the news, like, where'd she end up? North Korea. and he pulls the biggest, like, no! Like, he, like, hits his head, like a cartoon character. Well, this is a really bad day for Sam Shepard. He caused a nuclear explosion.

One of his best pilots is dead. And now this other lady with a $4 billion plane is about to crash in North Korea. What's awesome, though, is this... And his robot plane is still at large, about to kill the president, I think. We can only assume... Yes.

What's great. though is this is a script where it's like you know what Americans are really stupid and don't know the deal with North Korea so like Sam Shepard has to have a line where he's like some like underling is like what are we going to do about

it and he's like well nothing we have no diplomatic ties to that part of the world and you're like yeah even more so we need to do something there needs to be a line like get me to president you know yeah wake him up at a certain point you do have to wake up

president or wake up somebody wake up joe morton joe morton keeps coming in and everything is on fire and he's like all right you figure this out joe morton's like the shitty dad at like your friend's sleepover who like you're just fucking around and playing grab ass the whole night and he just walks in like guys everything all right yes all right then and just closes the door and then you just go back to throwing rocks at each other oh yeah dude love those rock days he's totally clueless in this movie though so she ejects over north korea oops right

and we know it's north korea also before they mention it because again dumb ass yellow highlighter around fucking north korea yeah another fake country don't believe the media guys that's all I'm saying uh yeah so she's just down

there's a funny thing where like there's flaming debris everywhere and she's like i can't let my shoot open because it's going to burn my shoot. It like keeps hilariously getting worse for it. Yes, it does. Oh, no. Now the plane's falling on me.

This is hot shots. It is. Oh, it's so awesome. The, the physics of it to make zero sense. Sure. It's like, if you eject from a plane that's like speeding through the air, you're going to, you're going to go up. And the plane is going to go past you. Yeah.

Like, she ejects under somehow. Exactly. I think she gets caught in the riptide. The rib tide of the plane. Brings her right out towards the plane. Also, like, pop that parachute so you go above, like, the debris. Like, she just hangs out for a little bit. Like, she's also like, oh, no, I'm still stuck in the chair, too.

Oh, this is ridiculous. Well, it's just like, oh, no. And now I'm in North fucking Korea. Ah, shit. Great. Just great. To her credit, she survives all this. You know, honestly, I ejected out of a fighter jet.

I'm already dead. Oh, yeah. I've had seven heart attacks. I've shit pissed myself. It's gone. Yeah, pack it in, buddy. Yeah, I'm a ghost man. She, like, falls through a bunch of trees hilariously.

It is hot shots. Yeah, oh, yeah, that's right. And then I think, what, like, she gets some branches on her head and sticks her head up, and then a hunter thinks she's a deer. Is that what happens next? Yeah. Cut to a little later, you know, after the movies won. And Josh Lucas is cooking eggs and bacon on her.

tummy. And Lloyd Bridges appears out of nowhere. Sure. A deflated Lloyd Bridges. This could have used the Lloyd Bridges as like a naval commander. Like some comedy, some kind, right? This is, this movie doesn't really have any comedic relief. You need a little comedy when you're this fucking stupid. And you know, at this point you think this is what the movie should go as such. A, the plane starts killing everybody. Maybe he comes back to base. He starts fucking with that. Maybe he like lands and like

builds himself a robot body, I'm okay with that. Sure, why not? Gets himself an Ultron or two? Yeah, one or two Ultrons, a vision in there, too. But no, this is when this thing goes way off the rails. Eddie goes to refuel to a... We take a break from Incubis to bring you the stylings of Gavin Rosdale's solo efforts. Oh, man, I need that record like I need a hole in the head.

Good God, and he's just flapping his gums about whatever. And this robot, there's like this gigantic, I've never seen anything like this. Then again, I know nothing about the military outside of what movies tell me. But like, there's this, I mean, speaking to the Avengers, this big, like, flying Star Destroyer thing, which I guess is just like a flying gas station. Which we can only assume is unmanned because they never cut to anyone inside this thing. No, like, look at that robot's trying to refill. Somebody do something about this.

Isn't it shield? Is that what's happening? The robot pulls up to Shield, I think. Yeah, it's the near future. Shield's been established. I mean, also, how strong of diplomatic ties do you have with any country in this region of the world? Like, yeah, we're going to put a big old gas station above your head. Just in case our billion-dollar warplanes need to bomb your country.

To be fair, it might be like just gently over the Pacific. Like, you know, we don't know exactly where it is. But it's awesome. I would still be a little fucking disturbed by this gas station. If you could see it from land? Absolutely. You could see it from space. Just park that over Taiwan

for the rest of time. You know, a great place to put it, Chinese Taipei. They got almost no rats in that fake country. What of Eric Siski's fake country? It's totally bogus. I would love to watch the opening

ceremonies of the Olympics with you where they just walk in every country and you're like, who the fuck is that? Come on. You come on. Look at how they're dressed. Nope. It's all fake. Yeah. Okay, I buy that one. So Eddie's gas card

isn't exactly, is it working? Dude, because the robot can remember his pin number? What zip code is this card tied to? Oh, those witches at Aubon Pan swiped my card too hard. Now it doesn't work.

That happened to me this week. Fucking stop swiping my card so much. Oh, dude, I'll tell you what. They'll rip it right in half. Dude, I was out of Dunkin' Donuts a couple years ago. And it was a tough spot. By the way, I said witches in case that it was wondering. I had a debit card that was like teetering on the brink of I should call the bank and get a new one.

Sure. But, you know, I'm lazy as all get out. Sure. So I go to this Dunkin' Donuts. And this fell at the register. You know, big guy, like, you know, older, like, full grown man, dude, right? just a little bit in like the special needs department and he takes my order and goes and swipes the debit card

and just shatters it this debit card just broke in half did his name tag say Lenny and I go oh man what did you look what you did to my debit card and this guy just goes I didn't do that and I am in the worst position ever because I'm not calling out a mentally challenged guy

working at a Dunkin' Donuts for breaking my debit card. So I'm just like, you're right. You didn't, dude. Lamedest exclamation you could ever make, look what you did to my debit card. I didn't do that. Dude, as soon as he said that, I was like, jupping this is lose, lose.

Take your donut and get out. I'm just picturing that guy now, like waking up covered in blood and like a dead, dead woman. next to him. Cops come in. I didn't do it. That's raspberry jelly. Ah, yeah, we were going to arrest him, but...

Oh, he works at Dunkin' Donuts. The jelly story checks have. So, we're listening to Gavin Rosdale. Eddie's debit card isn't working. So, like, any person frustrated at a gas station, you shoot the shit out of the thing, because he goes to stick the tube in, and it's like, eh, and he's like, oh, yeah, and blows it off. so this like tube is just shooting gas out into the air

and he's like, try to deny that and sticks it in there and starts filling up because the whole thing is if you just let this robot run ragged eventually he's going to run out of gas and crash. Sing it Gavin Rosdale. And you know that the only way that he's pumping Gavin Rosdale is if he downloads all the music off the internet.

That's the only point. possible way you'd end up with his solo album. This took two hours, but finally, all the music. The last 10 tracks on the internet are Gavin Rosdale's solo music. Fine.

Load it up. I got the space. I feel like that's those people that buy like the 60 gig iPhones and you're just like, you know, here you go. Gavin Rosdale's new record. Well, put it on. Fuck it. I got the room. But then the

planes like because we're clearly we have an idea of his taste in music he's like hey this isn't so bad I'm kind of into this thanks for the recommendation so he fills up and he's on his merry way to go bum

whoever and yeah Josh Lucas is hot on his trail for like ever it's just a lot of like this part of the movie and by the way we're talking like 50 minutes left of this movie sure I watched this movie in two parts and I paused it right when Jessica Beal

bailes out when she beels out of her plane and I'm like all right this is a spot to pause 52 minutes left to this movie what are we doing? And what happens next? Nothing. Well we call Keith Orbit up. We get him involved by the way every actor passed on

Keith Orbit, right? Oh yeah. Guaranteed. Everybody. The guy from seven that guy would have been a great Keith Orpitt, right? Which guy? He made me fucker guy. That guy would be great. aggressive character actor who we always forget his name. Right. I...

Leeland Orser, I believe his name is. Nice. Yes. I think the corpse of gluttony would have been a good one too. Yeah. Any of the Seven Deadly Sidson. I am Leeland Orbit. And this is my plane. Dude, speaking of casting in this movie, can we

talk about real quick? The bullshit like secret senator who's in this movie? Oh, whatever. Who's like, he got Sam Shepard the funding for this project. And they keep like, you see like, you know, exterior, Washington, D.C., the city on the hill. And then it's like, we zoom in on this top secret government office. And so dude in silhouette and he's like, you're totally fucked Sam Shepard, whatever.

And you're like, oh, man, who's this actor? Who's this actor? Is this Patino, De Niro? Dude, and they find, the last like 15 minutes of this movie, they zoom in and reveal who this guy is. A nobody actor. What is the fucking point? Everybody passed on this movie, apparently, except for Sam Shepard, because he'll do anything.

Oh, you want me to play the top secret Pentagon guy, too? I'll do both roles. I can put a mustache on. You mean I get cigars? If I do this? An Apple? An Apple? Sign me up.

Dude, do you think he got paid in cigars? You can get Sam Shepard to do this movie. You get a fine box of Cuban cigars. Well, no, they have to be made by... Yeah, I'm not going to say it. No, no one's going to say it. inappropriate. That's the character. I'm talking about the actual Sam Shepard. So, my. So, yeah, like, Keith Orbit's like, oh, man, he's learning all sorts of such and such and who's and whatever. And he's like, well, you got to fucking get me out of this one, orbit. I want you to format that fucking hard drive. And he's like, you don't understand. He's starting to feel and learn things that fucking kill it, do it. He's been snooping around the top secret secure file known as,

Caviar sweep. Oh, shut up. And you know what that is? That is a scenario in which we bomb the shit out of Siberia. Fuck you, Russia. We're going to bomb all them prison colonies you got up there. You think that one of the reasons he's so hot to get this robot out of the sky is because it keeps downloading music. I got seasoned assistance from Sony, from Atlantic.

Have you guys heard of Alien Amt? from them. They're pretty good. I've got a killer, Torrent. You'll get it real fast. You didn't have Torrance back. Oh, wait. This is the near future. It's the near future that we did. So, yeah. Yeah. Which, wait a second. Even better. Why in the near future past where we are now is someone listening to Incubis? It just really resonated with me. Wow. This really holds up. I'm the only one on lime wire right now.

The download speeds are super crucial. It makes sense in like that J.J. Abrams Star Trek that he'd be listening to the Beastie Boys for the future. The Beastie Boys are timeless music. Hell yeah. Not fucking Incubis and Gavin Rostale's solo material. I agree to disagree. Just give it a chance. Oh, Keith Orbit forgot to program this thing with taste.

Oh, look, it's recommending one of my favorite bands, Phantom Planet. Well, did you see Keith Orp, the Orbit Lounge that we cut to? Oh, yep. Talk about trashy. Woo! I mean, he's got his, like, cocktail waitress girl giving him messages and shit like that. And you know who that actress is, by the way? I didn't recognize her.

This was an IMDB browsing. Have we all seen Road Warrior, or Fury Road, rather? Oh, God, yeah. She is, when Charlize gets them all to, like, the last group of ladies. Yeah. She's, like, the tall woman with the long brunette hair. The one who's naked at first and then gets... Yeah, she's the one who's, like, playing the dummy.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's that actress, funny enough. Oh, good for her. Playing this secretary slash waitress in stupid stealth. You know what? Yeah, things get better sometimes. That's what you call a 180. Big time I mean

You know Keith Orbit's Click clacket at Keys And Josh At some point The Russians are a little pissed off That these superplanes Are flying so close to them

Yeah so the Russians get involved And there's like a dog fight Yep And again World War III Here we go We're blowing up Russians left and right Oh yeah This is making the news

Was anyone else rooting for the Russians At this point? Oh absolutely Big time I was kind of pulling for the Russian guys. I was pulling for everyone. Tajikistan, everyone. They were moving missiles with cows.

That's why I thought it was fake. Can't get a van together? All these poor countries are being destroyed by American and computer hubris. And Jessica Beale's just on the run in North Korea and like... She's with Owen Wilson behind enemy lines. Gene Hackman's trying to get him both killed. Is that what he's doing in that? That's the twist, right?

I sort of remember it that way. Maybe not. I don't know. But so at this point, Eddie and Josh Lucas are like, hey, man, the only way out is if we work together. And Eddie's like, remember when I killed your friend? I'm glad you're not sore about that. Well, we have the stopover in Alaska. Well, this is after it. So they blow up all these fucking Russians.

Yeah, all these Ruskies are down for the count. And he's like, oh, and, you know, Sam Shepard's like, all right, the only place you can go to right now that's friendly is Alaska. So go to Alaska and everything's going to be fine. And, like, at this point, you know, Sam Shepard sees the writing on the wall. He starts to do cleanup, even though there's 15 people in this control room. Yep, that are working for Joe Morton that wants him dead. Yeah.

So they go to Alaska. And I guess I read some bit of business about this movie where they, illegally obtained a permit to shoot in some like Alaskan protected piece of land. Sure. And all these interest groups like sued the shit out of this production. Good for them. And the court was just like, oh yeah, that is fucked up. Get the hell out of here. Stealth. So they booted from this location. But so he's like, Sam Shepard's

like, yeah, yeah, yeah, go to this base in Alaska that nobody knows about. It's off the grid. But you'll be able to get a warm meal and a tune up. fix your good friend Eddie the computer jet who killed your friend but it's fine now you guys are best pals don't worry about it it's fine I wish this movie was more like heat vision and Jack and like the plane was

voiced by Owen Wilson again actually that's funny you know from behind enemy lines would have had some personality instead of the video game caliber voice acting of Wentworth Miller the video game acting of Wentworth Miller

Flash show, he fucking sucks. Oh, he's on the Flash? He's playing Captain Cold, right? He's one of my favorite character. He's a good character. What's Captain Cold? He's kind of like Mr. Freeze with an attitude. He's one of the Flash's big rogues. Oh, I see. Fair enough. Sounds like he's more like Captain Luke Warren.

He is. Was anybody watching Prison Break? No. Where they like broke out of a prison and then back in and out again or some more shit? Dancing on that line. The whole, all five seasons. They went to, I think they went to Russia, too, or something, right? I thought it was South America.

Okay, even better. Wait, it was like, every season's a different prison. Yes, that's a hell of a tunnel. I'm going to break my brother out of prison by breaking in or some such nonsense. A thing that's perfect for like a concept for a movie. Sure. And then it's like, nah, now we're going to break out of this other one and into this next one. And I think Robert Patrick flew in for a fashion.

Jeez, no thanks. I'll stick with Escape Plan starring Arnold Schwarzenegger. and Sylvester Stallone. So we're in Alaska, and like he crash lands on this airstrip. And, you know, because he's Josh Lucas, he comes out with just like a little head injury and that's it. This doctor's like, oh, let me

patch you up. Hold on. Let me give me this tetanish shot. And you know what, Doc? You got to play your cards a little bit closer to the vest. You can't have a dead eye killer stare when you're doing this. Yeah, this guy is a bad, evil doctor. He also pulled out the most threatening syringe I've ever seen.

Like, it has like, it had like a hilt. And here's the thing. They get in a little bit of a scuffle and the doctor winds up injecting himself with this serum and then proceeds to die instantly. If you know if it's it's like fast acting death serum, just stab him in the neck when his back's turn. Why is this nonsense? Well, hold on a second. Now is the U.S. government's trying to kill Josh Lewis name. Is that the Sam Shepard? Is. Okay. And he somehow has control over like all the cronies that work in this Air Force Base. Oh, because they're all evil. Right,

because they're only following orders. Yeah, I've heard that a couple of times. Keith Orbit shows up at this point. It's like, what the fuck movie? Because Keith Orbit is flown to the scene so he can inspect his little baby. And like, he's like, all right, wipe him clean. And the next

word out of that dumb robot's mouth I want to hear are, yes, sir. Before Keith Orbit showed up, Shab, Shepard. was trying to get this thing to do push-ups. So it wasn't happening. Come on, you stupid computer ball. Do it.

You're still in the military. Standing there with his shades on in the dark. Yeah, I've got nowhere else to go. Give me 20 push-ups. You pile of puke. Oh, insubordination. You just made it 50. Oh, I'll make it 100.

You're not moving. I got it all night. You fucker. I am a plane. come on you billion dollar bowling ball do a push-up so he's he's got this thing like you know hooked into a computer and immediately it's like oh hello doctor orbit and you know like father or whatever whatever and all this dr keith orbit has to do is just press the reset button and then the plane isn't evil anymore oh you have this plane switch to evil yeah exactly it's like oh you just got to put this little tab in the back down to Good. Guess the lightning messed with the good bad tab. Oh, it's so terrible. And all of a sudden, Jamie Fox's death means nothing. Yep. Absolutely fuck all nothing. And then Josh Lucas turns into an action hero and blows up a bunch of people for a while. Yeah, he's James bonding around this compound, just killing some folk. Is it around now that Sam Shepard takes himself out? It's somewhere around here. He just commits suicide. He's leaving Joe Morton a voicemail. No, no, no, no, no, no, Joe Morton comes in. Yes.

Joe Morton grabs all of his officers and he's like, Sir, you're going to have to come with us. Oh, oh, right. Because you're under arrest. He's like, oh, crap. You know what? Could you give me a minute? Joe Morton goes, yeah, okay.

And I will close this door. You'll close it behind me. You just, what do you think he's going to jerk off? Like, literally that's the only thing that he could do. One last crank yank before I go to the Hague. This will be the last time I could jerk off by myself. Everyone else is going to see it in prison. Or kill yourself.

So, of course, and then he calls his anonymous senator, buddy. Oh, right, that's what it is. And he leaves him like this, like, this voicemail, like this, I'm going to kill it. You think this song is about you voicemail? Yeah, and, you know, he's taken off his class ring because I guess he's probably, you assume he's some ex-college football hero. Sure. And he blows his brains out. We don't see it, which is a bummer for me.

Yeah, let me just see that shit. I want to see that gun go in that mouth. Oh, man, I want to see the raspberry jelly That flies out of his head With the shades on Good night Oh, yeah, he's definitely wearing sunglasses inside For the last 20 minutes of his life

I want to see his head go up like Andrew's debit card You know what I mean? Yes And then Joe Morton comes in and starts yelling at the gun Look what you did! And the gun's like, wasn't me So Josh Lucas

he's like, oh, you know what I could do? Oh, my plane's broken. Say, Eddie's got a seat for no reason. He tells Keith Orbit, like, I need this to fly in like 20 minutes. Yeah. He just took it all apart. Well, we're led to believe you just put the bowling ball back

in like the front of the plane and it's ready to go. That cockpit's coming in handy now. Oh, so who would have guessed? So now, because the robot is good, we're just like best buds. We're heat vision and Jack and we're going to go up and start killing all these North Koreans. Well, we kill the rest of the people

in Alaska. We're shooting our way out of that hangar. Don't worry about it. Which, by the way, speaking to the action hero Josh Lucas, which him running around with a gun, by the way, just speaking of like Star Fox jumping the ship or the shark,

whatever, but he has the line, welcome to Alaska. Oh, man. Oh, mercy. Who is he welcoming to Alaska, by the way? The bad guy? Yeah, they were there before he was, right? I'm from Alaska. Boom.

Well, you're going to die here, you know. Yeah. Shoots him to death. So, you know, Joe Morton's like, just bring this billion dollar disaster back to the aircraft carrier. And he's like, oh, by the way, we're at war with Pakistan. Did you know that? Yeah, yeah. Oh, by the way, yeah.

A bunch of their civilians started melting and they declared war on us. And he's like, no, you know, if it's one thing you taught me, Joe Morton? And I was like, Joe Morton taught you something? When was that relationship established? Oh, you're going back. Oh, you have to go on the USS Abraham Lincoln. He's like, oh, doesn't so-and-so work on? Does it Joe Morton work there? Is that what's going on?

Yeah, yeah. It was betwixt shore leaves. Yeah, it's kind of like when Riker's old boss would show up occasionally on TNG. That guy was a dickhead. He was. Oh, man, he was always giving Will Riker the hassle. Hated him. So he's like, sorry, Joe Morton. I'm not going to leave a man

behind. I'm going to go to North Korea and track her down. I need to make this international incident just to, like, literally, I might as well break it off. This is a world at war now. If anything, you should be going there to blow her up before she falls into enemy hands.

Exactly. Hey, you don't leave a wingman behind. Yeah, sure. Sorry, sir, I want to fuck her. I've got to go to North Korea and pick her up. I mean, really, like, in flight school, they do say you never leave a wingman behind unless that wingman happens to go to North Korea and it would cause a war by going there.

In which case, they're dead. I'm sorry. They're just dead. Yep. Yeah, and then she was last seen ejecting into fiery debris. Yeah, her last words were, I think, the planes falling on me. God, that's funny. And I'm headed for the demilitarized zone. Yep, exactly right.

The most heavily, like, landmined mass. Oh, God. Like, ever. And then she gets there and go-go Yubari comes out of the mist. swinging her chain that's when things get really interesting oh my and this like she's

she's got like the troops on her back she makes it to the border for whatever really and it reminded me at the end of this the American Gladiator game Assault because like I love to assault

there's a guy and there's only one two or three guys guarding the north to South Korean border she gets shot in the back as well she gets shot in the back and I think she gets another one

like in the leg Like she's getting shot to ribbons. Can we talk about her sexy pants in this movie? Yeah, she's got sexy pants on. For what? If you're about to go into a fucking plane, you've got your jumpsuit on, you're wearing comfortable pants.

I wanted it as saggy as it can be, man. You're in that cockpit. But she has to be aware that no matter where you go, even thousands of feet in the sky or North Korea, you can't escape the male gays. Under this jumpsuit, I may or may not. need to be in the male gaze. And you have to appeal

to the male gays. I don't know why. It's called this man's army for a reason. It's insane. Because she's out of a jumpsuit and she's in this sexy club outfit. What were you planning on doing afterwards that you couldn't even change?

Oh, you know, there's a waterfall nearby. We were going back to Thailand. Finish off where we left off. So Josh Lucas and Eddie show up. and whatever. I mean, we blast our way to North. What I love about this movie's concept of what North Korea is,

because they very specifically make a mention of she doesn't have a tracking device on her. So this movie treats the country of North Korea like it's the size of Little Italy. Like it's fucking six city blocks or something. Because he's like, all right, here I am, North Korea. Oh, there she is. Donuts until I find her.

Oh, there she goes. Well, good thing that was quick. Do you want to listen to Slipknot and do some Wicked Air Donuts? You know what, Eddie, your choice. Eddie, you're what killed alternative rock radio, okay? So, like, he shoots a bunch of North Koreans.

He somehow jumps out of the plane to save her. And then in, I think it's the best thing in this movie, the plane commits suicide. Well, there's a helicopter Josh Lucas gets out of the plane. Yes. The plane, and maybe I missed the line, but the plane is the most heavily armed thing

ever created, right? And it's like a hell, a fucking regular North Korean helicopter, a $2,000 North Korean helicopter versus a $4 billion centient plane, and the plane could only think to fly into it to make a blow up. The plane does

make mention of like he's just used his last missile. Oh, whatever. So it's like you're just down to guns and whatnot. So like they're running away and this helicopter is like I am going to shred these kids. So the idea is I am just down to guns. I'd rather

die. Yeah, I guess so. And the plane does the plane have a last line here? I think it all, it says goodbye again. Does it right? Like that door noise, that do it goes happens again. He gives the thumbs

up though, right? Like the fin's up. I don't know. Oh, I thought you meant like T-1,000. That's what I meant, yeah. Or T-500, going into the lava. Exactly. He needs an appendage. Yep. You've got mail.

And it just smashes itself into this helicopter, and you're like, whatever. Also, how are we getting out of North Korea? We just, no, that's it. They killed all the Border Patrol, and they just literally jump over. Right. Or maybe all in North Korea. That's just done now. We just ended that country

Yeah, the whole regime is gone And now they love America We're opening it back up South Korea Come on in and find your relatives And so I mean That's it We're at Jamie Fox's funeral

Whatever That guy died for shit Just for nothing Boy I thought that was the plane's funeral Dude if they had a funeral For that plane But not Jamie Fox Oh awesome

It's the big portrait of Jay Fox And then it's the red-eyed thing Next to it And we lost a lot of good bed this week. Nothing more disrespectful than that. Is Dr. Keith Orbit getting out of that Alaskan space station or whatever that is?

I think so. Because you know what? He needs to be in the sequel, Andrew. Oh, that's right. Yeah, Keith Orbit's got to come back. Well, so, like, at the end, like Josh Lucas is like, ah, I think I like you a lot. Just say you love me, you pussy. The last line of this movie is, you pussy.

End credits. That's a film by Unfilm de Rob Cohen. Oh, absolutely. Oh, my God. Just tell me you love me, you pussy. Which is like, let's get this movie over with already. Also, that's a Jessica Beal line. And at some point, she had to have been reading this script.

And she does not have much dialogue. One of her other lines, which I don't think we mentioned, pardon my C cup. Do you guys remember that? No, what happened? That's when Josh Luke, they go to this air base. They go to this, not airbase. At the funeral? No, no.

This is like downtown. on the ship or something. They've been on the ship for two minutes, but somehow Jessica Beal had time to do laundry. Her bras and stuff are just all over the room. Fully moved into her, like, she's got pictures everywhere. And like, Josh Lucas comes in,

he's like, huh, sentie and plane, huh? And she's like, never mind my sea cup. And he's like, whatever. Because he has to duck out of the way of her bra or something. Around that scene is also another hilarious clunker line where we're trying to give these characters back. story. And Josh Lucas is just like, hey, did I ever tell you about that one foster mother I had? Oh my God. And then she's like, you had a lot of foster mothers, didn't you? And he's like,

yep, that was me just bouncing around all over the country. I was like, shut up. I don't give a shit. Fly that robot. So will he ever get a chance to fly a robot again? You might be asking you. You might be asking that very question. What happens at the end of the credits? Oh, man it's like the debris in north korea there's just dead north koreans everywhere rubble that helicopter's just in pieces and then the camera's like moving through this field of waste shut up and you just get to the little red eyeball of that just billion dollar bowling ball and it just lights up there it is yep you know what that's called eddie lived a worst case scenario because that fuckers in north korea you know what i mean like that's

he's gonna be a bad place Oh, wait, he was a bad plane. Oh, but Kim Jong-il, get his hands on that. Yep. Who knows what he'll turn it into. And he's such a cinephile. He's definitely seen 2001, so he already knows how to best it. I actually, I miss this because at the beginning of the credits, this song was going on.

I was like, no way. Is this Incubis? And Chrissy Hind of the Pretenders? And I watched all the way to the music credits. And it is Incubus featuring Christy Hines. Good gravy. It was terrible. I was disgusted, so I turned it off.

Speaking of a top secret project. Holy shit. Oh, man. Now, Eric, I believe you have a hilarious internet review of this movie. Yeah, because I was curious today, and I found something that I think, you know, get a little contrast sometimes. Sure. Yeah. We have our opinions.

People have others. Exactly. The, uh, the title of this IMDB review is one of the best sci-fi action movies ever. Ever. Ever. Okay. So it's miscategorized. No, no, no, no.

Oh, no, no. Oh, here you go. If you ever needed a reason to join the Navy, this is it. Oh, come on. What? This is a top gun in the 21st century. It blows many boring sci-fi movies out of the water. Take that Star Wars.

The special effects are incredible. Sure. The feel, I think this is Rob Cohen. I was going to say, it's an inside job. The feel of flying futuristic planes is depicted in an awesome manner. Summary, quite simple. It's the bad guys, them. Against the good guys, us, of course.

There's the hero, the unlucky guy, and the woman in distress. Sure. Is this the pitch for this movie? There's the hero, the unlucky guy. The black guy. Yeah, exactly. And the woman in distress. What more could you want?

I love a good woman in distress. That guy's unlucky. I hope she's wearing sexy pants in North Korea. Oh, good, she is. Or a bikini in Thailand. She's got to mention her seat cups. Trifecta. Scenery, parentheses, countries.

Scenery, parentheses, countries, ships, planes. it's also state of the art. Acting, not as bad as in most movies. There you go. There you go. There's your review. That's the end of it. By R. Cohen.

In most movies, does you mean most Sam Shepard movies? Most Rob Cohen movies? Would anybody recommend this movie? Oh, no. Right, this is a fuck no, right? I mean, no, right? this is no one had fun right no one had fun this is a trashy new metal top gun that is just not worth your time at all i didn't like it this time when i watched it i didn't like it when i watched it

with jean shallot i don't like stealth can i uh so i was working uh at a gym in 2005 oh yeah somebody it was the best thing in the world i had to watch this guy one of my employees hit on another one of my female employees and be like, come on, we should go out for a date sometimes. She's like, no. He's like, you know, we could see stealth. She's like, say. She's like, no.

He actually opened up a newspaper and started reading reviews of stealth together. He's like, the journal news gave it two stars. It's pretty good. Oh, here's Gene Schott. Oh, I'll skip that one. It's unconvincing. It just says flush. but the idea that I'm going to read like oh she turned down my date I'm going to read a film review to win this back this is not dead yet yeah yeah that's stealth from 2005 directed by Rob Cohen if you want to get a hold of us or find out more information about the show check out our website WHM podcast dot com check out the other shows on the network visit sideshow network dot TV like us on Facebook and follow us on Twitter we're at WHM podcast right into the mailbag we all

I'll hate movies at gmail.com. Rate and review the show. Wherever you get it, we would greatly appreciate it. Clue for next week's episode. Christopher Lloyd. Christopher Lloyd, everybody. So do with that what you will. Think about that for a week.

Don't watch stealth. And until next week, when we're talking about something with Christopher Lloyd, I'm Andrew Jupin. Eric Siska. Steven Seda. Ben Worcester. Take it easy. Thank you.