We Hate Movies - S6: Animation Damnation #22 - James Bond Jr.

Episode Date: November 12, 2015

On this episode of Animation Damnation, the guys tackle the totally wrongheaded James Bond Jr.! The episode in question, "Garden of Evil", which aired December 4th, 1991, raises such burning questions as why is James Bond Jr. the nephew of James Bond? How was it okay to make Dr. No this racist looking in the 90s? And how come every stupid kid on this show has to be related to an actual Bond franchise character?  PLUS: Your fair share of Jim Webb jokes! Some might say it's even more than your fair share! Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

So this is like in the pantheon of the pantheon of adult. franchises that did not need cartoons. Oh, big time. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, this is, I mean... They have a pantheon somewhere about this? Yeah, well, I mean, like, Beetlejuice is clearly in that, like, cute, kidifying,

like, you know, not adult, but, like, you know... Bud's always a hard PG-13. Oh, yeah, yeah, exactly. It's like, yeah, this is PG-13. But this is, like, this is really bad. It's really, um,

as a, a fan of the Bond franchise which I am a big fan of. I watched a little bit of this when I was younger and I remember just thinking like there is just flat out no point to this cartoon. This is post-Dolton

pre-what's his face right? Pre-Pierce? I think it's... 91. 91, right. Dalton had two in the 80s and then Golden I didn't come out to like what? 97. Oh wow. Something like that late. Yeah. No, maybe 95.

somewhere around it's like made or above yeah so in the vacuum this was spawned welcome to animation damnation i'm andrewitt alongside eric siska and stephen saydeck we're talking about an episode of james bond junior uh this is episode 58 garden of evil which aired sometime in the year 1991 um and it's the early 90s so we're just being really racist against Asians in this movie in this episode For what? Like entertainment value. Like, yeah, you watch Dr. No now and you're like, oh, I don't know.

You know what I mean? You'll watch most James Bond now. You're like, oh, I'm almost like it's not that bad compared to this. No, it's not. And it's also, this is from 1991. We had Captain Planet out now. We knew what the right things to do were. Exactly.

I'll give you a little leeway. Yes. No one had to march yet. Yeah, I'd rather watch Sean Connery get Japanified, and you only live. twice than this nonsense that we're dealing here so the episode by the way the whole conceit of james bond junior is that uh this idiot james bond junior is the nephew of james bond nephew nephew nephew what the hell's the junior shit wait so my wife said the same thing so his okay so james bond has a brother named james bond yeah i think so okay no that makes sense that's why there's so many of them yeah

Sean Connery, Roger Moore. Now, which one? They're all just bros. Yeah, so which one? I'm sure Sam Mendez will explain all of this in the next movie. Oh, right? When they go to his ancestral hospital or whatever's next. Well, there was a church and a farmhouse.

I think he's orphaned black. I think that's actually the end of it all. He's actually been orphaned black the whole time. That'd be great if Daniel Craig took his face off and it was just that girl from orphaned black. Take his face off. So James Bond Jr., the nephew of James Bond somehow. For what?

Also, like, it's so easy, and I mean, it's a little unseemly, but the concede should be, I'm the bastard son of James Bond. Take your pick of any of the ladies he's laid over the last 40 years. Sure. Exactly. You know, I mean,

granted, you're pulling out every time. But that is not a perfect system. I don't know. I think James Bond is known for his marksmanship. I think he's purposefully shoot to kill. I'm populating the earth, you know, right? I bet he is.

Now it makes sense James Bond Jr. And like, you know, Bastard Sun's a little heavy for a 1991 early, you know, before breakfast cartoon. Right. Well, so, and the other part of this is. Oh, they haven't even had their cheetos. Chirios, yeah. You can't be banding about the word bastard. James Bone Bastard.

He's a bastard of the spy you love. People love bastards. People do love a good bastard. John Snow. John Snow. People love John Snow. I was going to say, maybe it's James Snow, and that's it. James Snow, Jr.

The other part of this, by the way, is that, you know, obviously he doesn't work for MI6, but he's in, like, the MI6 high school. Sure. Because he's got, like, a class of kids with him that are, like, his buddies, including two Americans, one of which is like a dumb surfer dude. And then there's like the nerdy guy who wears a lab coat everywhere. Named IQ. IQ which bothers the hell out of money.

Because a Q? Maybe this is Q's bastard. No, it is. It's his grandson. Oh, is it really? Are you kidding me? That's off the Wikipedia. See, this is what I'm talking about.

Why does everybody have to be related? Is that the, does he, now is he in Skyfall as that young Q? Oh, yeah. Is this the same? Is this the same character? Oh, maybe this is IQ grown up to be Ben Wishaw? Yeah. That's entirely possible.

Oh, you know what? The kid, the big bulky guy that looks like Prince Adam, may or may not, depending, according to Wikipedia, may or may not be related to Felix Leiter, because his name is Gordo Lider. Oh, man. Wasn't Joe Don Baker Felix Lider as well, or was he just some other big fat CIA guy?

I believe he was Felix Lider. Jimmy Bond. Jimmy, Nibon. Jimmy, Bon, Jr., yeah. I wish he was in this I also love how blatantly anti-American that character is like who's going to be the

represent the CIA here's this pig here's this fat fuck in a Hawaiian shirt might be kind of accurate no I'm not you know they got good men don't come after me but yeah

you mean he's he's American it's fun so the oh no by the way Joe Donbaker is not Felix Light oh really okay he's a character named Jack Wade Jack Wade Jimmy Bound

I eat in barbecue constantly Continue this episode Is another An MI6 agent named by Marco Polo Agent Marco Polo Oh no Magellan's been kidnapped

Don't let him catch you outside The Pool Where does this Code name system go from Fish out of water See but this This kind of, this is almost, and these cartoons are canon, obviously, to the tales of James Bond. Of course.

Absolutely. Because I mean this has watched all of them. James Bond is like an alias almost, right? Like, I know. Yeah. There's different theories on this. So if they're using the goddamn name of Marco Polo, don't tell me this guy was born Marco Polo. It stands to reason.

It's like Doc Brown's dogs. Copernicus and Einstein. Yeah, MI6 is run, like, yeah, the dogs. You're named after the dog. See, another one. And now Indiana Jones is based off of what Spielberg couldn't do a Bond movie. And that's why he had Sean Connery play the father. Oh, is that right?

Oh, I never heard that. I heard that he wanted to do a Bond movie and he couldn't. So they made this rugged American character. Oh, interesting. There you go. Another named after. the dog i also heard he couldn't do a bond movie so he made the most boring movie of all time bridge of spies did you see it no it just looks like it looks like it's supposed to be fantastic looks like your dad's

favorite movie yeah i don't know i'm excited for it that is a tom clancy sit down exactly well that's that kevin costner um what was that 13 days yeah no no no no no no no no no jack ryan whatever the fuck shadow recruit yeah shadow recruit was the one I'm thinking of. Isn't Costner in that? Yeah, he is. I think you play somebody. Yeah, he plays Superman's dad. That's your dad's. That's your dad's fucking spy movie.

Yes. I fell right asleep. Thanks for nothing, Chris Pine. I stayed awake for the whole thing and I can't remember a lick of it. Oh, so the conceit of this episode. He gets kidnapped in Shanghai, just coinciding with... He gets Shanghai. He gets Shanghai and Shanghai. and just so it coincides with James Bond Jr.'s trip to Shanghai for no good reason,

and there's a flower that makes you into people's slaves, I guess. It's a purple rose. Oh, a purple rose. It's a purple rose that emits gas from it somehow. It's been genetically modified. Something, something. And by the way, you said trip to Shanghai? Let me just add another word on there because it's a field trip.

Yes. He's on a goddamn school field trip. They run around in like a huge boat for some reason. And it's just so, yeah, I guess it's the son of Felix Leiter, the grandson of Q and the bastard. The baseball son of James Bond. Maybe he was raised thinking that he would happen to a lot, you know? Yeah, I bet. Like Jack Nicholson.

You know, so that he doesn't get too close. Like, James Bond's like, you know, I'm just your uncle. Yeah, I'm just, don't worry about it. You're not entitled to my land. You're not getting shit When I'm inevitably killed I mean Also the appearance of James Bond Jr.

He's just Captain Planet with white skin, right? Yep, white skin and brown hair. They just did a pallet swap on him. And let me say this. You know as the creators Of the soon-to-be legendary cartoon, James Bond Jr. Sure.

You're making a cartoon in which the main character is a relative of James Bond who's also grown up in England, how about finding a voice actor that can keep an English accent for more than a fifth of a second? This is some of the worst voice acting

you'll ever hear in your life. This kid just sounds like, you know what he sounds like the kid voice actor from the Teen Wolf cartoon? Yes, it might very well be the same guy. Yeah, they were all sleeping with each other. But it's just like, hello, it's me, James Bond, Jr.

I am, I am. And it's like, no. You held that weird guy. Cockney accent for way longer than this person tries to do anything. It's like also like when you hear, there's always somebody who's like, I got a really good Marty McFly impression. No, you don't. It's, yeah, no, no, you don't.

There are, that's a hard impression. Doing a Michael J. Fox? Sure. That's intense. That's like doing a Harrison Ford. It's tough. David Spade has a good Michael J. Fox, actually. Really?

From old SNL days. Oh, of course. Given compliments to. David Spade. Look what you've been reduced to. It must be the old S&L days. I mean, he hasn't done anything in, right? 30-ish.

I'm going to take this moment to remind everybody. I'm about Joe Dirt, too. Joe, too,'s got time travel in it just in case anybody fucking forgot. Dude, does he bust out as Marty McFly and that? I might. I don't know. You haven't seen it? No.

Well, you won't stop talking about it. I know. You know why? I haven't seen it because I don't stream things off of crackle. Dude, you haven't had the crackle yet? I tried to watch Crackle once. Are you watching sports? Jeopardy!

Before. It's like Jeopardy, but for Jax. Is that a thing? Yeah, yeah. It's like, who needs that nerd stuff? Who needs knowing things when you could talk about sports statistics? That's stupid. Sports Jeopardy.

I got a Tweed Blazer on. Who's hosting it? I think it's Dan Patrick. Oh, really? Yeah. Oh, I thought it was Jim Webb, that guy running for president. Jim Webb, I said during the last debate, America's gym teacher. You got it right, man.

That guy's telling me to take another lap. Oh, yeah. And then he'll tell you about that dude he killed in Vietnam with a cold face. I'm used to that. Speaking of accents, by the way, let's talk about the racist-ass Chinese impressions in this episode. Up, down, left, and right. And it also brings, so we're talking Asian characters. we got two in this one that we're just

I feel like I guess most of this cartoon because there's definitely like a version of Goldfinger in a later episode we're just dragging back all the hits shows shows up at some point this is Dr. No but he's been made into like this Manchurian alien he's the Mandarin from the Iron Man

and not the nice Ben Kingsley kind Yeah. No, you're real weird, like, long finger nailed, but he's, his flesh is green. It's so fu-manchu. It's alien, and his hands are Dr. Claw. Yeah. He's introduced, like, wow, gadget. He does. It's the same, like, it looks like a metal glove, but, like, there's, like, lines through it. I mean, Dr. No, in the first Connery movie has, like, Lego Man hands. Yes. Like, little claws that are just, like, Lego guys. but this is just upgrade man

I guess he's Jacks now from Mortal Kombat too and you know what's an upgrade from a job who you know is mostly character design in the first movie he looks ridiculous it looks like a 90s nightmare dude he looks like he joined run DMC

he's got like a night like a hip hop hat he's all hip hopped out I don't know he's got a flavor flamed clock on his chest he's wearing like an Adidas track suit he's got some

Sneakers on. Really taken with American culture at the time, I guess. Where is that beautiful black bowler hat that you had in Goldfinger? I mean, trust me. I understand if you're killing people, I don't even want to wear in a suit all the time. Give me a track suit. You know what I mean? Just look at the sopranos.

Something a little water resistance. I understand that element to it. But like, he must be pumping something. It's, yeah, I mean, there's a lot of characters in this, in, like, cartoon translations that are drawn like monsters. But it's just also like, why do we have to hip hopify him? He's a villain. Like, you know what I mean? Like, he doesn't need to be cool.

Why does he need to be quote unquote cool? Everybody needs to be cool. Because you have to want to buy. The action figure. Yeah, yeah. Apparently they had them for this. Oh, yeah. Oh, really?

Mildly successful. I Google image searched odd job hip hop. And the action figure came up. Don't worry. Oh, wow. Are they selling on eBay for like four grand now? I didn't check, but I can guarantee you it's not. I was going to say unopened.

You got the mint condition. Mint can dish hip-hop a job toy? Oh, yeah, Mattel only. So the whole thing is, so Dr. Noe is like raising a garden's worth of these flowers. Is the idea? Well, he's going to spray the world and then control the world. Because it's a thing where you just become very suggestible. Yes, and you do the robot cartoon voice.

I will obey. I will obey. Right. There's a guy in the class named Trevor who gets first exposed. And like... Patient zero. Right. Everyone thinks it's funny at first. Well, that's what Felix Lider's son is like, hey, I've got a slave. Yeah. And then IQ's like, hey, let me see if I can use that slave.

And it's just you got to tell him to do something and he walks around like a little zombie and does it. He's doing like their chores and stuff and they think it's great. It's a weird message. A little weird hazing going on here that I don't want to watch the in-between scenes of. Yeah, you know, it's going to be humiliating stuff or sex stuff. Absolutely.

It's definitely dipping into sex stuff. You're on a field trip to fucking Shanghai. Yeah, it's dipping into sex stuff. It's a boarding school, dude. I know what's going on. Oh, totally. Zero parents around. We're figuring it out.

Homo eroticism. Bastard son of an old lecherous spy figuring it out. Also, here's my problem with the show is James Bond Jr. Not James Bond Jr. and pals. Why does he need a bunch of friends mucking it up?

I want to see James Bond Jr. figuring this shit out. James Bond doesn't even want to talk to anybody in those movies. You're right. You know what's terrifying to say is a more successful James Bond Jr. is if looks could kill. That's a great movie, but not really.

It's really bad. It's really bad, but it's, oh, I can't Stop watching it. What is if looks could kill? Shut up. I don't know what you're talking about. I rewatched it pretty recently. You've got to watch this movie.

It's kind of a stay tuned, I think. What's that guy's name? Richard Greco from 21 Jump Street. Oh, I know Richard Greco. What is this movie? You don't know him well enough because in this movie, he's playing like a super spy. Well, he gets mistaken for James Corbyn, Super Spot. I remember the name I had seen this movie in like 15 years.

And he's in Europe. And all this James Bond type is. stuff's happening, he's saving the day, and he's getting the girls. I was going to ask if he's getting laid. Oh, he's... Yeah, kind of almost. Yeah, he's some lingerie at play. He's 18, so things are able to happen.

Yep. He gets in some sexy situations. Now we're talking. You need to honestly see it. I mean, he's also 41 years old when the movie was filmed, but in the... Yeah, but he wears a letterman jacket, so he's young. Well, I'm reminded of a previous W.HM Prime episode Never Too Young to Die. Oh, yeah.

With John Stamos. That's actually another better James Bond Jr. And there's a James Bond in that movie. Right. Does Timothy Dalton play his father? I think it was Lazenby? Yes. Oh, Lazybee's the father? Oh, okay. Lazybsby, my favorite

Bond. Wow. Only had one go-round. Great movie, though. Great movie. Never saw. Oh, that's when you want to watch. So, yeah, we got this team of idiots. Oh, this is going to mention. You know what sounds really stupid? Someone comes up to him and is like, hey, I'm Sally or whatever. And he's

like, hi, I'm Bond, James Bond, Jr. Man, that sounds dumb. Hi, I'm Bond. James Bond, Jr. From over there. A couple of towns over. I'm English. Listen to my voice.

Don't I sound English to you? Just introduce yourself as James or James Bond. Why you've had in the junior? I once met a guy who, I know we make jokes about Martin Cinemax, the third on this show from time to time. But I met a guy who honestly said, oh, yeah. My name is Martin Cinemax. No, it was like, my name is Mike Baba the third. Oh, really? Don't tell

me you're the third. You're some peasant from New Jersey. I mean, yeah, the third is just, I mean, that's your legal name. You should put that on your taxes. Be sure to put it on your taxes. Totally. And that's totally fine. But you're meeting someone the first time. Don't drop the third. Yeah, you're trying to, it's a power play. It is a power play, and I don't appreciate it. I'm Eric Siska Numera Uno. Yeah, first and last, right here.

That's right. Dyes with me. I don't share the same middle name as my father. Oh, all right. So you've got to change it up somehow. But you never introduced yourself to me as Andrew Jupiter Jr. No, because I'm not a fucking asshole. Hey, he's not a descendant of Donkey Kong. He doesn't need to address himself.

Could have fooled me. I'm going to break this barrel right over your goddamn head. He's not a fact. He's not the send-up of a popular character. No one cares that you're junior. Well, I mean, in this world, no one cares that he's the nephew of James Bond. And also, how annoying is it that you have to go around? Because guaranteed, someone's going to be like, oh, wow, you're the son of famed spy James Bond?

Oh, actually, I'm his nephew. What? Yeah, don't worry about it. Can we talk about Dr. No's weird eating habit in this episode? Oh, yeah, that's fun. Like, proving once again that he's a total alien. The guy is, like, odd job, hip hop odd job comes in and he's like, this that. Doing the Roger Rabbit.

He worms into the hideout. And he's like, something, something, you know, I lost the flower, whatever. And Dr. No is like, well, you got to get it back. Now, if you'll excuse me. And he takes a head of lettuce and puts it into a juicer. Yeah. And just like, you know, slime comes out. And he's just like, I have to eat my lunch.

And he starts spooning lettuce juice. Maybe that's why he's all green. Oh, what? Keeping the pigment green. Another theory is like, I don't know how, like, time and James Bond is very fluid, obviously. Like, it's not the 60s, the 60s and like all those adventures kind of sometimes happen all the time or whatever. I don't know. But let's just assume that odd job was like 38 when Dr. No happens.

Odd job is like golden eye. No, as in Gold finger. Goldfinger, excuse me, yes. When Goldfinger, odd jobs like 38, around his 40th birthday, it's the 90s. He's feeling a little old. You know, he's been shaving his head for a long time. We tried to grow his hair back. It didn't grow in right.

Oh, yeah. He was like, wait, what? Why does it look like that now? Oh, no. He's got more odd jobs. He's got more henchmen sunsets behind him than ahead of him. So maybe it's time to be hip with the kids. What are the kids into?

Oh, that rap music's pretty fun. Man, but that just means... That's a midlife crisis? That just means he turns into like somebody's dad who's trying to be cool with the kids and those are the biggest losers of all time. Do you think there's an odd job junior that's like really into hip-hop and breakdancing

and big old dad's trying to get up? Like the worst cool dad, the one that starts dressing like you? I don't think these exist that often. It's like Amy Poller's character and mean girls. Just dressing up like all the mean girls. It's, yeah, that's what odd job's doing. He's dressing like Odd Job Jr.

I want Odd Job Jr. That's a better show, yeah. Yeah, exactly. I'm reminded of, like, it's kind of like fucking, what is it called, Tiny Tunes. Yeah. Like, you're making all these, like,

children of characters, you know, and they're, like, sharing names, kind of. Weirdly, Tidy Tudy Tudes specifically, no one's related to anybody. They weren't related, but, like, you got, like, which one was supposed to be the young version of,

Because they all knew there were cartoons. It was very bizarre when you got into the actual knowledge of Tiny Tunes. Like, they knew that they were clones of something. Like, it's very weird. Yeah. Now, was that a shared cinematic universe with the Animaniacs or no? No, they never touched each other. They were just, well, they touched each other in the blocks that they aired, right?

Yeah. They weren't near each other? They were near. Tiny Tines Ties came out first. A couple years later after it was going strong, animaics, the Superior Show, came out. Right. And that's a shared universe with Pinky and the Brain

which might even be the most superior of all shows Maybe I never watched it I know I might take a lot of heat for this but I never gave a shit about those characters

I really didn't Pinky in the brain I thought it was so one note It is one note But you're a dumb kid So shut up and watch it Fair enough So there's also

There's a secret agent Who you think is a, like, a bad guy at first? Well, because she's Asian, and you imagine all Asians to be evil as the show is telling you. Yeah, the show's like, you know, she's probably working for Dr. No, right? Right? All right, let's get back to the cartoon.

Her name's Jasmine, I think. Jasmine, yeah. Yeah, someone comes out and just goes, hey kids, keep an eye on that one, back to the show. I mean, I mean, just look at her. Okay, back to the show. They need to do, you know, a modern show now like hurt locker junior I mean I'm just

saying he looks like a lot of I'm all right back to the show Zero dark 30 junior Oh man that'll work a lot better Keep an eye out on this one kids You might have a car battery hooked up to his balls By the end of the show Back to the show

You ever hear that? The lady thinks she's going to catch Osama bin Laden Jr. Wow I thought she would get the junior What was her? Jessica Stain It was Maya or something Agent Maya Jr.

I mean I'm just saying he looks like I don't know. It's just such a lazy bullshit thing to tack on to anything. So this Jasmine you think that she's in cahoots with Dr. No but that's not true. She's actually she's also an MI6 junior

or something? She's working with Marco Polo. Oh good. Marka Polo who gets kidnapped and they dress him up like psychomania for the rest of the episode. Well, he becomes like a henchman because they got the mind control of the flower. Yeah, he's hypnotized.

Scum is the It's not Spector, it's scum. It's scum. And do we know what that acronym is? Oh, I wrote it down. Because I was actually curious. It's special, no, no, hold on. Secret, crummy. Nah, crummy's probably not in it.

You don't think it's crummy? Sabotor. Here it is. Scum. Saboteurs and criminals united in mayhem. Oh. Yeah. That's stupid.

I know. I don't know. I kind of want to join. You want to join scum? That's pretty cool. Hey, that's pretty cool. Sexual carnivores. United in mischief.

Yeah. Yeah. That's a club. I'll join. Sign me. That's a club. You got to be on like the wait list for. that everyone wants

so we get we all get kidnapped we're all in the it's very much like a James Bond movie but much worse we get kidnapped and James Bond's like hey doctor no what's your plan he's like I'm glad you asked it just goes through the whole fucking thing

and he's got here's the thing I understand like the the rule of James Bond you don't just shoot the guy in the head I understand that we're not going to argue that here you've got mind control gas that you could use at your leisure And he turns everyone into a slave.

And all you need to do is spray James Bond and all these people and make them into your henchmen. And or if you want to kill them, you spray them first and then be like, hey, put that knife in your head. Seriously, yeah. Hey, jump into this pit of alligators. Yeah, exactly. Just make it easy on yourself.

And by the ways, if you forgot to say the junior there, we're not talking about James Bond. I apologize, James Bond, Jr. Yes, the nephew of James Bond. Also another big cock up. You know, anyone can say a command And everyone will listen. So if you spray the world and some guy just says something, it overrides what your message was.

Yeah. It's a flaw in their genetically modified flowers. Because they're able to escape in the end, right? Yeah, he basically is the one that he's got a lady friend there who's an American who, there's like a little will-day won't-day going on. She gets turned into a mind-control zombie. and um there is actually a weird okay please reminded me of something okay well we should say first that he yells out to her to like get them free yeah yeah like he basically uses them against her

dr no has like a fleet of like wheat threshers by the way like these huge vehicles with like chopping devices on them for no reason they got to like clog it and jump through it and then they're going to be run over by like a steamroller that this lady's driving and James Bond Jr. calls out the command and they're able to be freed by her because any command works. Yeah. But after

they're free, James Bond Jr. has that moment. That pause is just like, he's just like oh, well, get you the antidote. I'm just saying, you know, we could do weird sex stuff, but let's get back to the cartoon. What he says is let's get the antidote. quote, before I change my mind.

Oh, thanks, James, for not raping me. Yeah, that's what I need in my Fox after school cartoon show. I need James Bond Jr. to have a Jeffrey Dahmer thought. These are my going to be my sex slaves now. All right, let's get back to the cartoon. So we're going to get back. We cut the B plot is so Trevor Fizzlebottom or whatever this fucking kid. his name is, is getting, like, be...

Oh, travel, fizzle bottom. And the jock is like, oh, great, you're my slave now. And then, like, we cut back Yes, master, I will eat your facing. And he's like, it's not fun anymore, man. Like, because he's like... But I've eaten all the peanuts out of your

shit, sir. He's like, I thought... It's like, oh, I thought you'd like it this way. It's like, yeah, but it's not fun anymore. Look, he doesn't even get upset when I call him names. And it's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Whoa. Yeah, but what names are we talking about, really?

Egghead. But read between the lines, Andrews is all I'm saying. Oh, yeah. Well, he's like dull to it now. Like, the thrill is gone, man. It didn't last long. The one thing, it's a real burn that you could use, find time to use it in your own life,

which is, you're so stupid. When they were handing out looks, you thought that they said books, and you said, hey, give me a scary one. That's the burn. That's a good. That's a good, you know, like, hey, look, give me a scare. Yeah, it's funny.

This is this big, beefy, idiot American character on this cartoon, by the way. He's not getting hard anymore. So, you know, they win like they would, right? Sure. Marco Polo gets back to being Marco Polo. Yeah, he's also, you know, also, Elsie kind of looks like his maniac cop. Like, just the littlest bit like maniac cop. And so, yeah, they wind up, like, having Marco Polo like turn on Dr. Noah.

as well, Dr. Knows defeated. But he does escape, if I remember correctly, yes? Yeah, yeah. Well, another day, I'll get you next time. Yeah, I'll get you Gadget. Gadget Jr. I mean, there's someone who couldn't reproduce because he's a robot. Well, what was, is Penny? Penny is the niece?

Penny was the niece. What is with cartoons? It's always nieces and nephews because for some reason we're so afraid of sexuality. We can't even imagine Donald Duck fucking laid some eggs. It's got to be Uncle Donald. Why would Donald Duck be laying the eggs?

We'll get to lay in pipe to lay eggs. He's got you there. Inspector Gadgett can't do it because he's got a robot penis. But he wasn't always a robot. But that's true. If anyone can lay pipe, it's Inspector Gadda. It's, yeah, literal pipe. But I bet there's some biological byproduct flowing through that pipe.

Go Go Gadget sex organ. Sure. Yeah. I mean, this is just a, it's a terrible cartoon. It's offensive to anyone as like a fan of the Bond franchise That this dog shit comes in It was kind of successful It got a full run of 65 episodes

It had toys action It had toys Marvel Comics did something Oh is that right? Yeah like a mini series there were books Everybody wonders why they were fucking bankrupt in the 90s Yeah that's what did it James von Jr. comics A Super Nintendo game as well

I remember the Super Nintendo game and it was Okay Yeah, sure. It wasn't great. Yeah. I don't remember that at all. You had hip hop a job. Parapa the rapper.

I remember that like it was yesterday. Oh, I'm sorry. I skipped over like the conclusion of the episode, but like... It doesn't matter. Well, Doctor knows like whole boat compound, whatever hideout is on is just like incinerated, which is pretty awesome. You get like a good, a good fire out of it. It ends with a punchline of like someone saying something, something,

before you're out of gas. Everybody, it ends on like a ha ha ha ha ha ha. It's like, no, you're a school of kids learning to be spies. Let's act a little more professionally. Not telling one-liners. They also drive through a field of these flowers. And they're like, ha, ha, ha, don't worry, the authorities

will take care of those. Sure, whatever. Yeah. Like, like, oh, the rape flower? You've got to burn that shit down. No one should be trusted with that flower. Exactly. Don't let that shit get to Thailand. Then we're all finished. Yeah, I think that's a good motto.

for almost anything. Bangkok specifically. Was anybody embarrassed watching this? Oh, yeah. It ages poorly, man. It really does, yeah. Yeah, I know I agree. It was terrible to see. Yeah, I don't know if I'd say I was embarrassed.

I would say that, again, as a fan of the franchise, I was just angry. James Bond Jr. franchise? Yeah, that I had to watch it on a YouTube rip. I was like, where is the Blu-ray complete series? No, it's garbage. and it's an embarrassment. I mean, there's a lot of embarrassing Bond movies.

I'm not saying that. Oh, sure. See our episode on Never Say Never Again. But this is just pointless. It's a cash grab thing. And what's obnoxious is that, like Steve said, it was successful. And they grabbed that cash. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. They grabbed the cash, man. I don't think anybody was making a boatload off of Beetlejuice. You know what I mean? But, like, people made money of this. Although, actually, now that I think about it, I definitely had Beetlejuice, the cartoon toys. Yeah.

All these. That was the thing, is like, you could get, for whatever reason, in the 90s, it was popular. It was a way to make money. Make a cartoon out of something a kid should never have seen, but kind of new by osmosis? Yes, you know James Bond. Exactly. You know Beetlejuice. It's before you should be ever watching those things, but like, you get to feel a little adult because you're like, oh, this is for me.

You know what I mean? Like, oh, you know, the Hunt for a Rett October Jr. That's fun. Caligula Jr. Full Metal Jacket, Jr. That'd be fun. Hey, Joker, Jr. Bland. Triumph of the Will, Jr.

That is animation damnation. Junior. On James Bond, Jr. The episode Garden of Evil, if you want to get a hold of us, check out our website, WHMpodcast.com. Until next time, I'm Andrew Jupin. Eric Siska, Jr. Stephen Saddak, Jr.

Take it easy, Jr. Thank you.