We Hate Movies - S6 Ep228: Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey

Episode Date: December 8, 2015

On We Hate Movies' 5th anniversary show, the gang sits down to chat about the unnecessary - but not terrible! - sequel, Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey! Witness the rare George Carlin action sequence! Marvel at the horribly dated slurs! Bow before the annoying and cheesy Grim Reaper! PLUS: Eric vs. Frank Welker comes to a head! Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey stars Keanu Reeves, Alex Winter, George Carlin, William Sadler, Joss Ackland, and Pam Grier; directed by Peter Hewitt. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

Hello, I'm Andrew Jupin, Stephen Sadek. Eric Siska. And this is another We Hate Movies Anniversary Show. Yay. Hello, everyone, welcome to We Hate Movies on the Side Show Network. Thank you for tuning in, as always. As I said at the top, we are celebrating an anniversary once again. It's a bit of a sad anniversary this year.

We did not have Christopher Cabin in studio. We miss him dearly. He is still, of course, a firm part of the show. Very firm. Part of the We Hate Movies family. How firm, exactly. Oh, have you seen that took us lately? Oh, it's firm as far.

Good to know So in his honor And in his absence We're doing one of his favorite movies That he always wanted to get on the show And we're dicks Bill and Ted's bogus journey From 1991 directed by Pete Hewitt

This is of course the sequel Bill and Ted's excellent adventure Which is indeed the superior film Yeah Without a doubt Yeah no this is You'll get some dissenters Which is fine

And I do think this is... Yeah, dissent. I don't give a shit. This is a we love movies a bit, kind of almost all around the corner. Yeah. It's a fun enough movie. I think I'd recommend it.

But also, it's okay to like a movie. You can like a movie. You can look at a movie and enjoy watching it. I think this is the anniversary of Eric's advent of it's okay to like a movie. I would go further and say it's almost always okay to like a Keanu Reeves movie. Guaranteed. Guaranteed. That's right.

Dude, I watched that magic. mailbox movie of his. Oh, really? Wait, the lake house? The lake house? And I was like, I was watching it with the missus. And we were like, this is fucking stupid. But at the same time, in the back of my mind, I was like, you know what?

At least Keanu Reeves is in this movie. Sure. He is a fucking treasure. That movie's like frequency, right? Yes, it's like frequency, but with a mailbox instead of a radio. And he's talking to his dad at the old lake house? No, he's talking to Sandy Bullock. Was that like a...

Whoa, that sounds like it could be a little hot. Oh, yeah, dude. Was this movie like a dare to be like, let's make frequency make even less sense? And so I was like, no, you can't do that. What, Bill and Ted's bogus journey? Oh, no. Oh, the lakehouse? Yes.

But it's a sexy frequency, right? It's a sexy-ass frequency, but it makes no sense. But that's a funny thing about, that's a good place to start. This makes so much less sense than Bill and Ted's excellent adventure. I think in order to accept the time travel physics of this movie, you have to accept the idea that time is a fluid thing that's already, already happened. You know what I mean? Because like you're saying, everything's set.

What is going to happen happens. There's no free will. Pretty much. You have destiny. Okay. Yeah, no, pretty much, actually. I believe that. Because this movie starts with Mr.

Diplomatic Immunity from, uh, oh, yeah. That's, right? That is diplomatic immunity. I ran to the computer to double check because that is a diplomatic community guy. If I ever saw him. And from Lethal Weapon 2. Okay. Diplomatic immunity.

How many times is someone mentioning diplomatic immunity in movies? I raced the computer because he was Hans from Mighty Ducks. Oh, yeah, you're right. I made these little shoes for my little ducks. Fly little ducks. Quick, quick, quick. You're totally right. No, but he's saying some nonsense about like,

it is now at this point was they are about to. reach the talent show and I'm like wait what doesn't make any god damn it's always now like if you have a time machine they're always about to get to that talent show yeah exactly you know what I mean like it's always Lincoln's always getting shot in a circle of time

you can always stop it thinking about that you know I was rewatching birth of a nation the other night oh because I got it on Blu-ray for free but man they fucking blow his head off in that movie oh do they really it's some pre-codes

cinema, man. I've never seen it. Future great Hollywood director, Raul Walsh, is the John Wilkes Booth. Is that right? Yeah. Oh, weird. I think it's a ageless vampire Raul Julia. Oh, I wish he was an ageless vampire. He might be still out there. He might check under your bed before you go to bed. I mean, I know they buried him. Did they ever check though? You know what I mean? You bury the body? Do you check a couple days later? Was he buried or burned? I think he was buried and he was buried in a Dracula robes, right? Oh, oh, you're thinking of Bella Legosi.

Oops. Did Roland Julia ever play Dracula? He should have. I think Gomez was probably the closest he got, right? I think that's as ghoulish as he got in his career. Anyways, so Jossackland is this actor's name. Oh, yeah, thank you. And he's just, he's the world's, he's exactly who I would be in this Bill and Ted

future. You could fucking keep your head-banging utopia, all right? That's what's hilarious about this. movie is that like this sequel like musically is too little too late yes like we're talking 1991 no one gives a flying shit about like this music that they insist on listening to is going out the door so yeah

it would not last into this fucking future society as the savior of humanity but there's this idea that bill and ted will someday somehow change the world when they get their shit together and it's kind of funny that they haven't gotten it together yet Which is kind of the gag of this movie. Wasn't like the end of that first movie, them supposedly getting it together? They still can't...

Did they know how to play at the end of that? I forget. They were starting to understand. I don't think so. I don't know. Yeah. I don't remember how that first one really ends. But this, I will give...

The future in this movie is different than the future in the second... In the first one? The future of the first one is very like... Oh! Yeah. And it's like Clarence Clemens and they're like being really weird about everything. I forgot the big man's in that movie.

He plays like the high father. or something or other. It's, you know what it is? It's very kryptonian in origin. Well, this is probably like a few years

after that and like everyone's wearing like crocs and stuff. Everything's plastic. It's a world run by Mario Battali. Yep. And so apparently

beloved legendary, I miss him every day of my life, George Carlin is, again, reprising his role as Rufus For 10 seconds.

And I guess he's like the Dean of Bill and Ted University or something. Traded up that cloak trench coat for a plastic one. Dude, the clothes in this movie. They all look like they're wearing bad Comic-Con costume. Oh, yeah. And by the way, I think Rufus is running some type of scam. That university sounds bogus. Dude, it's like Trump University.

I actually think Rufus in these movies maybe histories. maybe history's greatest time criminal dude do you think he's the phantom menace i think so i think he's prop he's like i go back in time get these dumb kids from the circle k yeah prop them up yeah my puppets my puppet regime uh-huh and suddenly i'm calling the shots in the future you know wow you're kind of totally right i think i think that's what happens because there's no way they become as great as they do because if the timeline exists without any intervention they just up to be dead beats and they're like die in a box car right rufus sets he's he's getting that he keeps going back in time setting up all the smoking mirrors yes yes yes to make this thing happen speaking

a smoke by the way please do we have an if you got them yeah do we have an answer as to why they're not constantly smoking weed and drinking in these movies i don't i i think it's because these are almost kids movies i think that's it too yeah is that true i mean yeah i i think they're probably this one's rated pg i think right yeah but every moment the camera's not on them they're like bonging it up or something it's just insane that they don't smoke pot

and especially when we get to Bill and Ted's apartment and they're just watching Star Trek I'm like what the fuck are we waiting for guys you're sitting there you're you're 19 years old you don't go to college you've graduated high school you're unemployed right you have your own apartment somehow

and you're watching Star Trek alone with your buddy of course you are smoking weed. Of course you are 24-7 smoking weed. Come on. One more question about the presumed future of Bill and Ted.

Yeah. Did they die martyrs deaths? There is that statue. There is that statue that, that to me, portrays a martyrs. Listeners at home, Andrew was taking a sip and almost spit it out at that line. There was almost green peach tea all over this computer.

Yeah, that's a good question. I not much is known about the death of Bill and Ted but man if they ever make this long supposed third movie I hope it's addressed because you have to imagine they go down in a ball of flames because that's, look, think about John Lennon.

Think about John Lennon v. Paul McCartney. Everybody loves Paul McCartney, sure, you know. He's great. He'll bring him out for every Super Bowl you can get. But John Lennon is the guy that people are weeping over and he changed the fucking world. You know why? Because he got shot in the goddamn head. head.

Yeah. I mean, that has a lot to do with it. Was that a head shot? I don't know. I don't think it was a shot. But he got murdered.

He got cut down in his prime, therefore aged very well, just like our friend Kurt Cobain. Well, also, it's good to use the musician analogy

because... Bill and Tedders want to be musicians. But they're also heads of state. So... Okay. This could be like a JFK

sitch, you know? They're taking a parade route somewhere. Oh. You know, one of them future. Well, actually, also, I'm thinking of them, like, in this future. Right. But you have to. They're not

living past, what, 20, 2040 or something? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because of the lone gunman in the Kindle Depository. You know who did it, by the way? The lone gunman from the X-Files? No, I got a fan theory coming up here. Oh, he's laid on me. He doesn't appear in this movie, but his name is mentioned. Deacon, Ted's little brother.

Oh, yeah. How much of that shit? Can you handle Deacon? Yeah. Oh, you're totally right. He's getting fat like Jared Leto somewhere. He's getting all, he's reading the catcher at the rye over and over again. And maybe he might be in the line of succession if this is some type of monarchy. That's true.

Dude, that chapter 27 is one of the worst movies ever made. Jared Leto as fat Lenin killer there. Yeah, I skipped that. How was Lindsay Lohan, though? Terrible. Right, right in line with everything. she's done for the most part keeping an average so uh basically joss acclund or what's his name demonelous or some such thing yeah that's close enough something he's like i will send these robots back to the

future to destroy billet dead man evil robots by the way i you know i like these evil robot characters they're a lot of fun you can tell alex winter and uh kianno are having a ton of fun playing these guys Absolutely. Because they get to do the same character, but just a little bit more ironically and a little bit meaner, which is just fun. And it is a testament to these two

that these movies are what they are because they are committed to these characters. Oh, yeah. You know, we've all seen interviews with them and, you know, whatnot. Like, they're so not... I mean, say what you want about these movies, but this is an actor fucking acting, dude.

Like, these are characters that they have made. And you can't, you know, you can't say anything about it. But, yeah, them is the evil thing. It's nice to see them be mean because, like, on the note of, like, these are kind of kids movies. Like, Bill and Ted are kind of just big kids. Yes.

You know? And that's why, like, yeah, they are babies. And, like, when the robots are being mean to them, they're like, God, they're being mean to us, you know? And they don't understand why even. But, yeah, it's like, you've seen them be nasty. Like, shut up back there, dudes. And you're like, fuck, yeah, evil robot. Fuck, yeah.

And so they go in the phone booth. Not enough time travel in this movie by any stretch of the imagination. Oh, no, because we're doing all sorts of interdimensional what-nots with the afterlife instead. But Rufus, in a last-ditch effort, goes down the time stream raw dog in it? Oh, yeah, just hold it on to a guitar string. The rare George Carlin action sequence. Man, him getting pulled along. Oh, it's silly.

I would love it if they just had like some lawnmower man graphics of him just turned. into sprinkles like as he goes to the time stream you know what that's a possible deleted scene sitting somewhere no they had in that first movie they definitely had like the time circuits yeah you saw the time tunnel yeah it was like a shittier sliders yes if you could imagine such a thing existing you could even imagine it this is my question by the way because sometimes with these bigger movies i'll say like uh well we all know that everybody's seen this do you guys think that every this isn't everybody has seen this movie no no i mean we got some people that are so young that listen you know what we've got some five-year-olds now dude i was just talking about how i was

watching birth of a nation that movie's a hundred years old everyone's seen that but bogus journey but it's on netflix now so birth of a nation no thank god uh bogus journey both of these movies are on Netflix. Both Bill and Ted's. I'm smelling a new W.H.M. Challenge coming on. You watch Birth of a Nation and then Bill and Ted's bogus journey. Back to back? Does anyone have five and a half hours just sitting around? Let me think. Yep. I guess the hate is redeemed by the cheerfulness of bogus journey. That's the way you want to watch those two movies. I was going to say it the other way around. Um, so then we, you know, after this whole, as Eric said, George Carlin action sequence, uh, we cut to Bill and Ted in the present day. They're playing in Wild Stallion. The princesses are on drums and keyboards. And this is barely a band. Yeah, there's just, it's, it's, it's always been barely a band. And they got recast, right? The princesses, yeah. Yeah. Oh, did they really? Yes, they definitely did. Oh, okay. I didn't, I didn't check back. And honestly, the funny thing is like, yeah, it go out and recruit a drummer, go.

Go out and recruit a keyboardist, a bass player. Let's get a bet. Put up some flyers, Bill and Ted. Yeah, I mean, I know and kind of appreciate your whole, like, let's keep this a honeymooners type click. Yeah. And you just constantly want to hang out with your best friend and your girlfriend. It's kind of weird. It's weird.

It's fucking weird. I can appreciate it, but it's kind of weird. Uh-huh. Go out and find actual musicians. Or maybe anyone can try. Try to learn the, the, the, uh, instrument. Well, the princesses somehow are better at their instruments than Bill and Ted are playing guitar. Of course, they had a middle evil education, which is better than modern-day American.

Were you taught drumming in medieval education? Well, keep in mind, these are princesses. The leisure arts. Noble birth, yeah. It's all art, by the way. Yeah, yeah. Is who's in charge, man. That's who has the luxury to produce art.

Yes, that's correct. Yeah, you're totally right. That's why... Lowly serfs, I can't do anything. Well, the lowly serfs make a podcast. That's how it works. Oh, so cut to, as Steve said to me earlier today, a pre-Quentin Tarantino, Pam Greer.

You want to talk about getting caught in the time stream without a time machine. It's Pam Greer between like 1979 and 97. It's just like, no! My career! It's the late 70s, two jack-old, like the bison. Daniel to Jackie Brown. Yes, exactly.

Man, which is a fantastic movie. Absolutely. It's just better and better every day. She is playing... Now, at first I thought that she was their manager. Yeah. And I was like, this lady made a bad business decision. Like, who's she fucking...

The only way, if you were Pam Greer managing Bill and Ted is your fucking one and or both of them. No, Rufus, man. That's who you'd think, right? I mean, she, if she were the... She was the manager. Right. she'd be like goybles in the new new regime oh that's actually true once they rise to power

mountains of money mountains well instead she's just the manager of this talent show or a battle of the bands excuse me and this is not at the high school it's not at the high school I thought it was no it's somewhere in sand demas and I think it's the biggest entertainment event sand demas sees all year and it's a great it's the best battle of events you can imagine because you get 25 grand if you win and a two-year record contract. Well, that's why Primus is in it. That's how Primus got started. They're in the movie.

It's crazy. Faith No More was in there. Yeah. Saying, The first of many, Station! Oh, man. Yeah.

And apparently Faith No More has like some type of a religious affiliation in this future society. Yeah, he's like a, they're like the mysticism end of this. Yeah, whatever the future and Bill and Ted. Try and figure that one out. Is Faith No More still around, or are they no more? They might be around. I'm not sure.

I think they are. I don't have an opinion on them either way. They're going to come back big time in. Let me check. 2060. Wait, 2962. Wait, wait, 2691. 2691, I apologize. Is that the year that we're talking in the future there?

It's a bit. It's a ways off. Yeah, that's in the future. You won't be seeing a lot of Facebook things when Bill and Ted's future comes to pass. No one will be going nuts. People will be posting just pictures of Bill and Ted

with inaccurate statistics about their presidency and sharing it with all their high school friends. So, yeah, so she's like, oh, you guys suck, but I'll put you up. She does this bullshit. She's like, oh, you guys suck. So I'll put you guys on last.

The best place to be in the Battle of the Bands is going last. Although Pam Greer... Yeah. Well, Pam Greer, no. she does say something about that'll be around midnight and most people will have gone home which i'm like if you for whatever reason aside from knowing one of the acts is attending a battle of the bands wouldn't you want to see who wins this battle of the bands no one's going home pam greer idiot fucking mistake also there are film cameras or video cameras like they're

broadcasting this stuff yeah this thing i initially feel was being like televised on local San Demas TV. But then after some gleep-glop magic, that happens. That's broadcast all over the world. Thankfully. We'll get to it. Thankfully. So now Bill and Ted are having a party. They are going to propose to their girlfriends. It's the babes 500th

12th birthday. Are they twins? What does that mean? Yeah, I don't know. Were they sisters in that first movie? They're in the same castle, so probably. Actually, yeah, I think they probably are. Listen, if you're taken out of your time and brought 500 years into the future, you can just kind make up whatever birthday you want.

Exactly. You know what I mean? Right. And also you don't need to date the first pair of stoners you see. Yeah, so it's their birthday party. And like, they've apparently only invited their parents and parents' friends. Yeah.

And for some reason, the only to set himself up, the recruiter for the military school is there. Yeah, like Sergeant Oates or whatever. Yeah. And the dad's buddy. Anyone notice who played this guy? Oh, it's been killing me, and I for some reason haven't gone to IMDB.

It's Hilton from Mad Men. Hello, Don't. Connie. Yeah, Connie Hilton. Oh, wow. He aged a bit. He did, yes. Well, this movie's 24 years old.

Sure. But Ted's father, man, that guy's great in these movies. Oh, yeah. He was also on an episode of Madman. Yeah, he was. I forget which one. But, yeah, that dude's great. Like, he's selling it just as hard as anything.

So now he's got Missy Bill. Now, what was it? It was Bill's stepmother. In the first movie. They got divorced. And now she married Ted's dad. So there's a little gag there. There's a little bit of a gag.

And also, Oates might be banging her too, though. Because there's that thing where, like, she walks by and she, like, grabs him and is, like, high, Oatsy. And I was like, oh, Missy. Missy's a liberated woman, man. Whatever. She's just trying to make it work in San Dimas. Dude, they are trying to give Missy a little more to do in these movies, and I don't need it.

No, I agree. Missy can stay as two-dimensional as Missy started. Give more to the princesses. The princesses do nothing in this movie. Yes, they are fucking chucked in the trunk of this movie. They are one-dimensional. They're just like, they're princesses. They're princesses.

It would be interesting to be like, what the fuck is television? You see them do that thing? Right, right. We also don't, I mean, it's not that far off, but we don't know how much time has elapsed since the first film, really? Yeah, we're assuming it's in real time, so about two years. They might have been caught up by now. They could have done like a Johnny 5 information and reading books real fast. Yeah, they assimilated.

Also, where do the princesses live? Because they go home every night. They go home. They do. Yeah, they do. Oh, my God. They're not living with Bill and Ted because that's, you know, not wholesome. Bill, our girlfriends are very chaste or whatever Keanu Reeve says.

Because, yeah, I mean, they're medieval princesses. Maybe it's like a mental institution or something. I've got to drop the babes back off at the institute. I'm from the Middle Ages. Uh-huh. Sure, you're out here. Enjoy this injection. Go sit next to chief.

You're going to play basketball a little while. You had Danny DeVito. But they already killed McManus. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Schock. McMurphy. McMurphy, sorry. So at this point, Bill and Ted proposed to their girlfriends, the princesses, at the same time.

And say, not will you marry me, like, will you marry us? Now, do you think... It's a Polly family? Yes, I do. I mean, I was just going to call it flip-flopping, but yeah. I think everybody's fucking... everybody. You think there's going to be swip-swapping? I think they're kind of starting a commune, right?

If you're going to marry us, you're not, you know what I mean? It's not, you're marrying to the collective. Yeah, that's some Manson shit right there. Right, and like whatever babies are born, man, we're just going to all raise them together. Yeah, you're totally right, communal living. You know what? Hashtag

you can keep it. But that's the... I don't think all communal living is like that, but... At the end of the movie, it's weird because, you know, when they come back to them the future and they've learned everything and they're kind of dressed like Zizi Top. Bill has a little baby on his back and Ted has a baby on his back.

And Bill has little Ted and Ted has little Bill. I think everybody's fucking everybody. It's a thing though where the fathers, I feel the fathers of each kid are holding their own kid and they just name them after their best buddies. Right, yeah. I think is the thing.

That might even be weirder. Oh, it's weirder. Trust me. It's weirder. Also, the whole thing about this proposal is it's all. contingent on win the battle of the bands

plus record contract e-money if then marry the babes because as they say they don't have jobs they're totally broke the engagement rings are little like

hoarder machine plastic things might as well be an onion ring some cold burger king on your finger you might have I take it off the grease is burning my hand the princess is like oh yes I'll marry thee

and I remember when I was going to rule a whole land and now I'm just going to just fucking... Now I'm picking up an extra shift at the Circle K. Absolutely. You know, I was going to be on currency. I just realized something. Now, if they're doing this sequel

and we've confirmed there are children, descendants, these kids are going to be old by now. Yeah. They're going to be... Are they going to be the new stoners hanging out? No, and I swear to God, if it's a passing the torch movie,

you can fucking shove it up your ass, O'Ryan Pictures, which doesn't exist anymore. They've already been shoved up their own ass. So whoever's taken up the charge. But seriously, fuck that. Because I'm tuning in for Bill and Ted, not Bill Jr. and Ted Jr. Well, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, they're got to be involved.

They got to be involved now. They've said that they, you know, they've read the script, they like it. Are they, like, going to be, like, 50-year-old? They have to be, same old. Well, you know, what happens when dudes like that get old? I mean, dudes like that are old, you know. Well, they rule the free world, apparently.

That's what happens when these guys get old. Is this going to be, like, gritty, like them getting their foothold? I think it's the man in the high castle. I think it's exactly the man in the high castle with Bill and Ted. I think so. I think we need to get a time machine of our own and arm the rebels. So evil Bill and evil Ted show up and trick them by saying they're them from the future. And they're like, oh, that always happens.

You know, it's kind of a fun gag. Right. They take them out to the desert and promptly kill them, which is fun. They get to the killing right away. What is a waste of time, though, is one of them calls pretending to be the babes and breaks up with them. Who gives a shit? You're going to murder them. Well, that's the thing.

Jossackland's plan or Denotomino's demon face. His thing is like, we will go back in time and take them kill Bill and Ted and then we'll ruin their music career. It's like, well, no, no, you've done that by murdering them. That's all. Checkmark, done, move on. And we will break up with their girlfriends. We will also break the hearts of their girlfriends and insult their single fathers. And their credit will be shit.

They're dead. It doesn't matter. Let's get to the one thing that, so they throw them off a cliff. And before they do, they say, oh, don't do it, man. We love you. and we get to one of three gay slurs in this movie, the same one. Three. Three of them.

And it's just kind of like, come on, guys. It's a total sign of the times. And you know what? It hits like a fucking thud in 2015. Both of the movies have it, which is astounding to me because that means they were like, you know what was so popular from that first movie? The hate. Let's drag that back.

You know, let's not really focus on the, oh, that fun time travel adventure. Let's not put that in this. But what I've always seen. said about this sequel is that I kind of appreciate that there's not time travel in it because it's taking those two characters and they're making them do something else

granted it's a jaunt through the afterlife and it's sort of weird but if you're bringing something back from that movie why use that one word and double down on it and I know triple down listen put down your keyboard talking about old them libtards or social justice

tap dot dot dot tap tap I'm gonna you know what fellas I'm not listening anymore have you heard of South Park. And I hear you. I get it. We get emails like that. We do get emails like that.

Point is, it just fucking thuds, man. It thuds. And it's like, for, here's the thing. If in some way it was catered to a joke that was funny, maybe. If it's a punchline to something. There's no fucking joke.

It's not funny. There's nothing funny about saying that to the devil. That's, yeah, which happens later on in the film. just the devil like really man the fucking devil the a number one devil it'd be great if frank welker stuff like what hey yeah by the way frank welker voicing station and the devil in this movie oh my god i honestly think we have to use a time machine to stop him

because this is such fucking crap did i tell you guys i was watching search for spock oh you know the spock screams when he's aging rapidly i could have done that. No, no. Frank Welker does it, man. Dude, please, I want to see Frank Welker's golden toilet because you know he's got to have one. All these little credits here and there, that adds up.

It adds up. If any plumber is listening that has done work for Frank Welker, tweet us those picks. Oh, yeah, 34-carat toilet saw it myself. You want to talk about living in the Bill and Ted future? We're living in the Frank Welker future already. That guy's changed the world. think you're right i think there's going to be statues of a voice it's going to be so many who's that guy just frank welker just smiling because i'm sure by the way we rip on him so much i am sure as

shit i've never been sure of anything in my life that frank welker is the nicest person you will ever meet in your life i just want and i'm just so fucking jealous of frank welker it's just not even funny he has it figured out whenever someone says you see there that guy there, that guy's got it figured out. You turn around and say, not as figured out as fucking Frank Welker, that's for sure, and just walk away, let them figure that out. Go on IMDB, look at it.

Go ahead, do yourself a favor. Go on IMDB and just look at it. You'll get fired from work if you print out his fucking thing from IMD, all right? They'll say, hey, who ruined this printer cartridge? Oh, I was printing out Frank Welker's filmography. 7,000 credits.

Dude, he voiced a dog in Space Jam. And not even a Looney Tune one. A dog. A living dog. A living dog. And he got paid $70,000. I'm sure. Oh, beautiful man.

They die. William Sadler shows up as the Reaper. And the thing about William Sadler as the Reaper is it's fun for a little while. Dude, this is, you know, Steve, you say sometimes when we talk about rape scenes on the show, like rape is a delicate spice for your movie. Yeah. You got to use it right and use it for a reason. The same could be said about a comic reimagining of the Grim Reaper played by Die Hard 2's William Saddle.

Yes, yeah. Man, does this get annoying. It just gets old really quick. And, like, it's a funny, it's a funny performance. I think he's great. I love William Saddle. I love him, too. And this starts so well.

You're like, oh, man, like, the Grim Reaper as a character in a movie, how fucking cool is this? Haven't seen that since the Seventh Seal. I wonder if they'll reference it. And, you know, you keep just watching it, and you're like, oh, no, wait a second. Oh, he's not menacing anymore. Oh, it's worse. He's starting to tell jokes. He's yucking it up.

Oh, man. Yep. Like, the last quarter of the movie is just him doing jokes. And to jump on your point about this movie, like, being a little bit interesting as a sequel, because it's not just, it's not ghost busters too, right? It's not like, let's do the exact. Let's forget the first movie ever happened, but do it again. this is like let's build on it they'll go on a different kind of adventure

da-da-da-da the first half hour of this movie aside from that f-bomb is great and it's really like well-paced and the jokes hit the movie goes on once they're kind of in the middle of hell and they go back to the Reaper and the Reaper starts doing stuff I just check out because once because so blobbidi-blow you know they're like

well you're so far you know the Reapers like you can play me or whatever in a game and you could possibly be reincarnated and they run away from him. They give him a Melvin first. Oh man. Which I guess that's just a wedgy, right? Or is it a frontal wedge? I think it's a wedgy, but I don't know the real, the dynamics. I thought it was a front wedge when Bill and Ted did it, but then when the Reaper does it to a diplomatic immunity at the end of the movie, looked like he was going in the back door for that Melvin. Okay. So yeah, I think it's just a whatever they, a San Demis Wedgie.

for whatever that a San Dimas, a hot and sweaty Sandemus style wedgy. Man, that's also a San Dimas sandwich. It gets confusing the local vernacular in San Dimas, California. They wedge him and then they go back and they kind of like

hang around for a little while. And this is where I feel the movie's kind of spinning its wheels a little bit. Yeah. Because it's like, oh, they're ghosts and they're kind of walking around, but like they go to their apartment and the two robots are literally

just hanging out breaking things. That happens a couple of times in this movie. We keep checking back at those robots. And they're also sexually assaulting the princesses. Yeah, that's the other thing. That's kind of happening. You know, Bill's like, get over here and put out. You're just like, all right, scorpion.

All right, rapey scorpion. It's just really, really weird. For whatever reason, that line is funny just because he's saying, it's such a weird, like. That's a Bif Tanin thing to say. Exactly. And coming from little Alex Winter, you're like, oh, that's kind of cute. Well, these evil robots were programmed by Joss Acklin, so... Yeah, exactly.

Also, why give them dicks, Joss Ackland? That's something. Are you saying, why give them dicks? Why give them dicks? Why wouldn't you? Well, because they... At least as far as I know of Joss Ackland's plan. Yeah?

All they have to do is kill Bill and Ted, and then their mission is over. Right. What about that requires a dick? I don't know. Maybe you're stopped by the authorities. They give you the old pat. down. You don't want to seem like... Oh, it feels like there isn't a cock here. Let's get these pants off. Oh, it's an evil robot. Yeah, you know, you're like, they patch it down there. It's like, wait a second. There's no cock and balls. That's a robot hole.

Like the plug spot. I agree. I agree with you to a point. But why then give them sexuality where they're getting what they call robot chubbies? Why give Commander Data robot chubbies? Well, that's different. What? Why? I will explain to you why the evil robots from Bill and Ted's bogus journey are different from the evil robots of Star Trek. Tell me. Tell me. Because the whole point of Dr. Nune and Soon's mission was to create, shut up, to create artificial life as accurately as possible. And data strives to be a human being, which you can't do without a dick, dude. These robots sole purpose for existing is to kill Bill and Ted. And then they might as well self-destruct after they do. do it. Well, maybe he's doing some ex machina stuff on the side. Oh, he's getting into some ex machina territory. I'm just saying, listen, you're not going to only make two evil robots. Maybe that's their mission. Oh, man. But you got other ones out there. You cut back to Jossackland. He's doing disco with a Japanese robot. Man, that's one of my favorite movies of the year. It's a great movie. That is good. But so they, the This is like, you've changed and they leave and their really bad British accent. Sure. One of the four lines they have in this movie.

And again, I'm left wondering, where are they going? I know. Do they live with the why? At one point, they're hanging out with Missy, but I mean, that comes to nothing. No, it doesn't come in anything. And then more Missy comes up. So they're like, oh, we need to get,

we need to find a way to beat our robot selves. Let's go to the cops. They go to, they, what do you call it there? They possess Ted's father. Yes. Which is... This is where this actor... He shines...

Like a diamond. This guy is imitating Keanu Reeves' Ted impersonation. And it's fucking awesome. Just his physical presence. Yeah. The way he's standing, the way his whole body language is, when he's being possessed by Ted, phenomenal. Conversely, the fat, bald gentleman that Alex Winter possesses,

doesn't do as great of a job. That's kind of like your dad trying to do a Bill and Ted impression. Yeah, he's also the guy from arachnophobia that gets it, one of the people, like he's like the fat guy's eating popcorn and then he died. Are you serious? Yeah. Oh, man, that's a movie I got to revisit. That's a movie I don't need to see again.

Oh, really? You got a thing with spiders? You know, I kill him. I don't have to like to look at them. Fair enough. So that's a bust. nobody nobody buys it and it's another spinning your wheels scene not for nothing for sure enough given somebody in the writer's room was like well missy needs something else to do here so she hosts a weekly

seance i guess weekly by the way it is confirmed that this event is weekly that's weird and they're all trying to bring up you know famous people for some reason that this is pretty funny because they're just like what were some of the names charlemagne was one gondi uh And then eventually who Missy wants to commune with with the seance, Ty Cobb. Dude, you get the ghost of Ty Cobb on Earth. Forget about it. You want to talk about birth of a nation. Look out everybody.

The traveler has come. Oh, yeah. The ghost of Ty Cob would end this world as we know it. Yeah. He's wearing like a skull helmet and just like he's got a baseball bat. It would be terrifying. Batter up. He'd definitely drop the F word, the N word, and all a bunch of other ones.

Anything else? Oh, all the letter words. A through Z, that guy would be spouting off. Ty Cobb loved him. Bill and Ted try and communicate with them. They think that they're evil spirits, and they send them to hell. Sure. And this, we get Frank Welker's devil who shows up.

Which he looks like Shao Khan from Mortal Kombat. Well, it's not Frank Welker in the suit, obviously. Well, no, it's some model. You know what I thought it was? He does everything, right, in this movie? He does all the voices? Yeah, he's the voice of Keanu Reeves in this movie. No, this thing actually, you know who the guy playing the devil looks like?

Is the dude from Mortal Kombat Annihilation and the X-Files, that guy? Brian Thompson? Yes, he kind of looks like. I was like, oh, is this Brian Thompson as Satan? He could be. He's a big dude. And, like, he sends Bill and Ted to their own personal hell. Oh, my God, this shit.

This is. Do I need this? I think it's kind of cool that they're doing something different than time travel. Well, it's better than, like, the heaven that we have to watch immediately afterwards. So, like, Alex Winters pushed it into his own personal hell, visiting grandma. Who's also played by Alex Winter. Oh, really? Yeah, that's Alex Winter in a grandma suit.

That's Alex Winter misses doubtfiring all over this movie. Well, you know, old people are so disgusting. that oh my god it would be hell to go near this old old codger well you know maybe just this woman in particular i don't think it's generalizing all old people and then we a lot of old people are disgusting we also do but it's not hell worthy depends on who you ask dude honestly though you got a point if that's the worst thing in your life that your personal hell is trying to have your grandmother give you a kiss wow, you've led a pretty

great life. Exactly. Ted, we finally get to see a little bit of Ted's abusive childhood because just clear this kid was abused because his dad's a fucking dick. Yeah. His dad somehow turns into the Easter Bunny for some reason, which is

fucking terrifying. Is it the dad turning into the Easter Bunny? No, no, it's just like the Easter Bunny's talking to him like a dad. Oh, yeah. I thought it just that's a good point. I just thought the Easter Bunny showed up. Yeah, I Yeah, I guess it's doing some commands there.

Yeah, well, he's yelling at Ted for taking Deakin's Easter basket. You took Deacon's Easter basket. Also, Frank Welker. Oh. One step ahead of you every time, Eric. You think, you know, you just think you're like, oh, I'm watching a nice scene, a couple of actors. One of them actors is Frank Welker. Oh, yeah, dude.

Every scene in cinema history. Dude, you got Welker. The one degree of Frank Welker. Dude, I think Frank Welker voiced the title card during the assassination scene in Birth of a Nation. Definitely did. Dude, Frank Welker called your name at graduation. You don't even know that.

Frank Welker, high school and college. I'm shocked he got the pronunciation right. I was surprised. I was a fucking professional. Well, you know what? Maybe I should ease up on the guy. So, and then also the colonel gets reprised here too, and they're all kind of chasing him.

This is when Keanu Reeves. drops the F-bomb on the devil for some reason. That's some balls, dude. Yeah, I mean, you want to talk about getting hell-raisered for the rest of eternity. And this is like a big Hulk and devil. This isn't like you're effeminate in a cape with a, with a, you know, cute smile and a tail. This isn't a Vincent Price DeVille. Right.

It'd be great if, like, pinhead's like, what did he say? Oh, my God, that's really offensive. Oh, we're going to have fun with this one. I mean, just, you know what? I'm not even going to bother. You just, you send him to somebody else. I just can't even look at this man. One of the weird sort of absurd things that I like when this scene is starting is them, like, falling for a really long time.

And they just keep falling and falling and yelling. And then they just start playing 20 questions, which is a great gag. And he's like, what is he's like, are you a mineral or a vegetable? Yeah, he's like, are you a mineral? Yes. Are you a tank? Yeah. that's a legitimate laugh for me

there's a ton of them in this movie because again they're very funny together it's a funny performance and now they're like oh the way to get out of hell they're like oh the Reaper will save us so then the Reaper shows up and here's our seventh seal scene they're playing battleship with the Reaper if anyone doesn't know what I'm talking about

just go to Hulu and look up the seventh seal and watch one of the greatest movies ever made yeah that's actually pre-requisite for this course watch that movie And then, you know, this is where the, where the Reaper starts, you know, building up the belly laughs because he's like, oh, best a two out of three. So it's like, then they're playing electric, the NFL electric football game at one point is one of them. It turns to do a montage, a fun little montage, which I don't mind.

And then he's like, you beat me. Now you're going to send you whatever you want to go. Like, we need somebody to beat the robots. So send us to heaven to find people who can build a robot. Now, I was stone cold sober watching this last night, and I don't understand this transition where he, like, they say that like, oh, hey, Reaper, we have to beat these evil robots. Do you know anyone that can help us?

And then it's like, sure, we'll just have to get access to heaven first. Like, then they're just sneaking into heaven for some reason. Like, don't you think the Reaper would have some kind of hookup? Yeah, he could just walk right in, right? Instead, they assault of some heavengoers. none of this makes sense like they're dressed as Bill and Ted and all these people are walking through

wearing like the same monochromatic costumes or whatever I got a question actually because I just rewatch Star Wars A New Hope in preparation for the new thing for the first time in a long time is the first cinematic utterance of beat somebody up but take their costume

when is that that's my... That goes way back I could think of actually an Alan Ladd movie called This Gun for higher that does that. Okay. All right. So even, okay. Yeah, I feel like that's, that could be one of the oldest tricks in the book. I don't know if they do that in birth of a nation. You know, it's worth, you know, it might be in the great train robbery for all I know.

I mean, a lot of those early westerns was probably like, you know, dressing up like a villain or something. I would, I don't know how to ever find out what that is, but I'm curious when the first time that, who coined that one? Right into the, we hate movies mailbagging. We all hate movies at gmail.com. See if you can answer Steve's query. And so we sneak into heaven And this is a very elitist version of heaven Yes No you know No single mothers that raise their kids

Went to church every week You have to be a genius You have to be the best at everything That's like Einstein's there Camp champs there Camp champ is like no one Ben Franklin I don't see any middle class

Anywhere near this fucking heaven Yeah it's a very bougie heaven I kind of don't understand No you got to be born right but that's what's weird though is like the people that they mug are like Amish folk or something yeah I mean yeah

or something is correct and to get into heaven you need to know what the meaning of life is like I don't know aren't you supposed to tell me that at the other side do you guys not know apparently it's a fucking you just have to quote some poison you get right in well that's not all you got to do

but yeah it's a start and the dude at the gate by the way is famous blues musician Taj Mahal. Oh, that's cool. For whatever reason. I guess maybe Taj was a big fan of excellent adventure. I don't know. Also, the worst matte painting in cinema history.

Right outside this heaven. It is disturbingly bad. And I love Matt paintings. I love them. I know you do. And they tell their plight to God and God's like, here's a map to find the best inventories. interest in all of heaven.

The best scientist, yeah, or whatever. And, you know, the gag is, oh, you thought they'd be human? Why are aliens in heaven? Not in my heaven. You know what? Separate bathrooms. I mean, in this, like, dumb-ass, like, you know, Christian version of, you know, the good part of the afterlife.

Why are there two little gleep-glot fucking mall trolls walking around? And only two, by the way. Why is it looking like the most-sized-slee spaceboard? if that's the case. Yeah, where are some other gleep-glops? You're exactly right. Where's that canteen a werewolf? I'm sure he led a good life.

Was he a genius, though? Oh, you gotta be a genius to get into this heaven. Was Grito a genius? Because he was murdered. Well, the thing is, with Grito, he wasn't from a high-born family. He was doing real low jobs for Jabba, so he's not, he doesn't meet the wealth quota. To get into the seven. Reagan's heaven?

Oh, no, Bush 1,7. I apologize. Yeah, we're. same thing um so whatever they're playing charades when they're introduced to them and crazy enough the answer to their charade game is smoky and the bandit three smoky is the bandit totally that's a weird movie that's some that's some time with jacky gleason i'll never get back that is a stay tuned and a half honestly part two as well i actually thought part one is a great movie i've actually never seen any smoky in the bandit movies, and I thought there was only two, and I thought that that was like a joke like Jaws 29 in the back to the future really?

Where Jackie Gleason plays two characters. Oh, yuck. He ends up playing like three in that movie, but also, we'll get into it on the episode. I could go off on it right now, but it'll take us 20 minutes down the road. And now here's a thing, though, aside from that gay slur, the next biggest fucking thud of a joke in this movie is It's shockingly coming from the Reaper at this point because they're all trying to guess what the movie is that Station's acting out and whatnot. And he goes, he goes,

Butch and Sundance, the early years. And the place, like, goes dead. And it's supposed to be like, ha, ha, look how corny the Reaper is or whatever. Thud city with this joke. You know why? Here's another, one thing. Because the Grim Reaper shouldn't be fucking hilarious.

Station sucks. Station really This is what we've been saying For years and years On the show, Station! I mean, that's why we're doing this episode Is we say Station all the time For no reason

But And he You want to talk about tropes that I hate It's not stowaways It's alien and or foreign characters That can only say their own name That's it. That's number one

Really? On my, Smurfs can go fuck themselves Hodor can go fuck themselves Absolutely, I hate Hodor Hodor's very stupid But the Smurf speaking English, though. They do, but they say smurf too much. They use smurf as a verb and an adjective a lot, which is kind of annoying. It's usually a cute little gleeplop, not like Hodor, but they're

like, oh, that's a little station. It's a little station. Or like Charles Groton in that dog movie where all he can say is Beethoven. That's another annoying one. But the problem is it turns into a bad role-playing game, and instead of Bill and Ted's bogus journey, it becomes Bill Ted Station and fucking The Reaper hanging out and farting on each other. The Reaper joins Wild Stallions. Yep. What the fuck?

So you got this, the future of mankind is based on this band where the Grim Reaper is an active member. Now, and this, I was going to save it for the end of the movie, but I'll bring it out there now. Because, yes, the Reaper joins Wild Stallion as the bass player and goes on tour with them and we see all these fucking headlines. about the Reaper released a solo album and it failed and this, that, and I'm not laughing. And let me ask you this.

Has he stopped reaping the souls of man? That's my question. Does society as we know it stop dying the way we have for the E.I? That's why it's a utopia, right? Exactly. You're right. Exactly. That's everybody loves, oh my God, Bill and Ted cured death by putting death in a band.

Rufus, you brilliant son of a bitch. Man, yeah, Carlin was really. on to something. I think this was all the end game to stop his own death. Oh, to snare the Reaper himself? Yeah, it was all an elaborate plot. Distract him by encouraging his poor musician skills? Exactly. Oh, yeah. I don't know, man. It's ridiculous. But that's my other question is like, in that first movie,

obviously, like, was this always the future where the Reaper was part of the band? Or is this some new version of the band? And that now features the Reaper and I think Station 2. Yeah, no, stations involved. They're on bongos at the talent show. I mean, something tells me, as much as Rufus may have tried to predetermine this, that, and the other, Rufus may have also been flying by the seat of his pace and some of this. I think station's the X factor he never thought of, you know? Like, it's just going to fly in there.

Because who could possibly think of something this stupid? By the way, I've seen this on the internet. Anyone out there in listening land got a bad station tattoo, because they exist. Are you shit in me? Yeah, dude. People have station tattoos. Oh, yeah. Send that in. I want that disgusting thing on my body for the rest of my life. That's disgusting.

What's with this thing's ass? I see this ass so many times. I see it in the short form and the long form. Right, because they jump together and merge to become one. Yeah, they do like a non-lethal time copping of themselves. That's gross. They turn into a puddle of shit. And from this shit grows this like seven-foot-dig, also voiced by Francois goes,

Station. Right. You know, for as much as I hate Station, I take solace in the fact that he's fucking dead already. Someone already got to Station and took him out. Well, that's the, it's the Ghost of Station. I forgot. It is. But no, I think God allows these aliens to be, because Bill and Ted are reborn.

Oh, I thought you were saying that the, like, they fly their UFO to heaven. and hang out and they're alive. No, I don't think that happens. But also, again, why is it only one alien in heaven? And why is an alien in the Christian heaven? And why is the greatest inventor of all time making such ugly robots? Oh, yeah. That's another thing. So we all hop in a van. We go to a hardware store and pick up the necessary supplies to create good robots. I think Eric is because of the limitations of the Home Depot. Oh, wait. You know what? I'm just thinking now is you got diplomatic immunity in the year

2,600. Yeah. He's got all those resources, right? Yeah. And these Station's the best inventor from 1990 or 1991. Right. So of course he's fucking shit. Of course these fucking robots

are garbage. So you're saying that this heaven doesn't transcend time? That's right. So Station are aliens from the year 1991? Yes, I think so. That are deceased. Yeah, they probably died in like 85, 84. Coke party? Dude, do you see those huge snobes on them, man?

They can get some Coke up there. And also, Star Dust for Station, man. Hey, station, I don't know. Are you saying you need a hospital, man? What is he saying? I don't know. I don't know. Do we need route to mouth to the station?

I don't know what he's trying to ask for. You bring that dying O.D. and bitch into my house. Get my little black medical book. Oh, and also these things are like perpetually wet, so their little cute ass cheeks are just shiny and slimy. It's disgusting. It is disgusting. I hate station.

I hate station. On all forms of station. I want a T-shirt. You know what? We hate movies T-shirt that says, I hate station. It's going to happen. We'll make it.

Oh, lordy lord. And we're at the hardware store. Whatever. They get in there and station fucks himself and turns into mega station. Oh, again, in case anyone is keeping track of the Reaper's greatest comedy hits, in this hardware store, he's got his little scythe with him, and he walks over and he's got like a gardening hoe, and he's like considering does he replace the Grim Reaper's sithe with a gardening ho and then goes nah and puts it back and i'm chuckling my tits off and uh in the in the world of

wheel spinning we cut back to bill and ted evil bill and ted playing basketball with their heads oh man just like stop wasting time go to the battle of the bands for some reason like why would they go to the battle of the bands have them not show up and then they lose that's the thing is like supposedly at this battle of the bands is when bill and ted is going to make this huge speech that changes the world. But if they just don't show, like, you don't have to go make another speech. They're dead. They're

dead. That's it. Pam Greer's going to be like, oh, those two lunkheads I had going on at midnight didn't show up. Battle the bands over everybody. Primus wins. Primus, you get $20,000 in a record contract. Finally.

They have more than that. Speaking of South Park. Oh, yeah. No, you guys didn't even So they should Appropriately makes some ugly ass-looking robots. These are some like Urkel-Bot-looking motherfuckers. Dude, they do look like Erkel-Bot. I thought the same thing. And they're just like

barely walking around. They can sort of talk like they don't talk like Bill and Ted. They talk like a speak-and-say. Yes. Hello, Bill and Ted. Awesome party on. Excellent. By the way, completely useless. These robots are basically useless. They do nothing. Except become members of Wild Stallion.

Also, they're the backup dancers. Why does a metal band need... So whatever. The robots come in and the evil robots are like, oh, screw you, Bill and Ted, you can't beat us. Like, we made good robots, dude. And they uppercut these dudes. Yeah, it's rock and sock them robots for a second.

What's amazing is that these evil robots kind of just accept defeat instantly. They're like, oh, you also build. robots. All right. And then they just stand there and take this uppercut. From the straight to L. Slow-ass robot, by the way. Yeah, like, I have a feeling. Joss Ockland's, like, super duper evil Bill and Ted could take

these shit ass made from mostly Legos robots. But they don't try. And the robots are instantly defeated and you think like everybody saved the day. And by the way, this is also again, just like that last movie, all culminating around a

large public event whatever and you know that Jossacklin comes down in the uh in the phone booth finally gets you a fucking phone phone booth in this movie yeah you do miss that in this movie you do well actually also weirdly it is further on the future because we're no longer

using bunny ears on the phone booth it's got this weird like kind of uh oh yeah there's some sort of like bill and 10 flex capacitor esk machine up there yeah you're totally right uh so they he comes down he's got this Big space gun. Looks like it was designed by Rob Lee Field.

I have my space gun. Look at me. Bill and Dad. Look at my plastic outfit and space gun. And he's like, everyone will die here. And I will now make, for some reason, this concert be seen all over the world. Sure. And now we're broadcasting this everywhere.

And it's also being closed captioned in every language somehow. That's the biggest, the most unbelievable part of this movie. I'll tell you that. This is the TV operations manager over here. That's right. It makes this, this drove me up the wall. Were you having flashbacks of like how much paperwork you'd have to put in for this to instantly be working?

Yeah. No, this is, honestly, this is like a few months of work. This is like, this is a real, real. Well, the thing is if you get a time machine, maybe he,

but it's, you know, it's hard to make live captions that accurate. Yeah. So I'm just going to say, I'm going to say this can't be done. All right. I agree with you.

And, yeah, he's about to kill everybody. They do that thing they do in the first movie a little bit with like, oh, if I can find my dad's keys, I could put them here. Oh, right. They do do that. I forgot about that. But it's a smaller part of the movie. And also in that first movie, though, they're definitely like, by the way, we have to go do this now.

And, like, you see them get in the booth to do it. Yeah. Instead, this is just like, oh, let's just go back and put a sandbag there. done and like it falls on him and a cage and then he's like but I could make a key yeah now I get out of the cage and I get a new gun

and he uses the new gun and it's a you know it's a gag where a little flag that comes out that says wild stallions rolls whatever sure hey sure it's just like a dude only the winners can do that

and it's like sure why not why not end your movie The first movie is so much better because it actually thinks of things like that. Yeah, it's a dumb stoner comedy or whatever, but it, like, has a living and breathing world. It's like, you got to, they set that stuff up. You know. You got to do it. It's just such a better movie than this movie.

There's also no one, like, threatening them with a gun from the future, which is just like, like, that first movie, there's not really a bad guy. No. They're just kind of racing against time. to get to this history presentation. And by the way, through the entire fucking terrorist attack

that is happening right now that is happening in this movie, this audience is just watching thinking it's part of the show. They're booing it like a stunt show. Like, boo, you, you... Yeah, he's the bad guy.

Get him, Indiana Jones and Batman. And like... Ooh, I'd pay to see that. Give me a stunt show with both of them. Fighting Jossackland, dressed like Villadet. Yep, I'm there.

But, like, Sandemus is a small town, right? Like, you have to imagine some people in this audience are like, weren't those the two guys that had the elaborate history presentation in high school? Well, what are they doing right now? Oh, my God, I think that actually was Napoleon. It takes a looking too years to figure it out. But, you know, because of that, maybe people do think that this is just part of the show. Like, they did a kick-ass history paper, man.

No, that's what I'm saying. They definitely think it. part of the show. Yeah. And they're just like into it. But my thing is if I'm in that audience, I'm going to get up and leave. Yeah. It's pretty stupid. They're not playing rock and roll. You know what?

Dude, forget it. They're building up to it. My God, they are. It's like where do I put, where do I cast my ballot for Primus before I can get out of here? Make sure you vote twice for Primus for me, all right? They really won this thing. They didn't need to rely on silly tricks. Yeah. So Rufus,

comes out, or I'm sorry, Pam Greer comes out as Miss Wardrobe, and unzips her, that's her name. Oh, is it Miss Wardrobe? Yeah, for some reason. Oh, man, that's stupid. She unzips her face, like a Bugs Bunny cartoon, and it's been Rufus the whole time. Because he was trying to seduce Elmer Fudd. Oh,

I see. Yeah, there's a whole movie happening off screen. Did he kill Pam Greer, like, two weeks before? And then hollowed out of her body? Yes, he did. I think that's the only way that would work, right? Well, unless in, like, 2,600, you can have, like, synthetic people suits made like that.

Right. Like a Mission Impossible mask. Yeah, but it's a whole body. But for everywhere, dude. With a voluptuous Pam Greer. Yeah, and it's correct, if you know what I mean. Oh, really? Wow. Just like those robots. Well, because Rufus doesn't know how long he's got to be in this thing.

You don't know what's going to come up. Maybe Rufus is using this as a sex vacation. He's entirely possible. Yeah, 1991. Oh, man. Go back to 1991, do some of that stuff. Wait, you know, if you did that. you would like alter time a lot right like let's say you have kids yeah you would really alter time that's just making me think these princesses are taken out of the middle ages oh yeah there goes like 12,000 people vanish right everyone's related to someone yeah you're totally right possibly bill and ted it's very dangerous it's very unless they were barren princesses and two barren princesses next to each other like that I doubt it unless were they about to save them

both from being executed? No. They were going to get... They were going to get executed. Oh, right, right, right. So why did they just kidnap them? Because they want... Because they're like, oh, it's boring

and you are hanging out with Billy the Kid, so let's do that instead. Oh, right. Why did Billy the Kid show up again in this? Yeah, you know... That incredibly old Billy the Kid they have in that movie? Yeah. He was like Roddy Piper.

I am Billy the Kid. It's just Billy the Dude. Yeah, you know, you could have used a couple of those characters from the first movie to come back for somebody. So crates, man. Oh, yeah, some so crates. I mean, the heavy hitters. Napoleon was done. I didn't need Napoleon.

No, he came back. I saw him eating ice cream. I don't need to see him again. But Socrates doing like a spoken word record or something. I could get behind that. Dude, he could join Wild Stallion too. Hey, fuck it. So they win and Rufus is like, yeah, I got you into Ballad LeBans. How else could you have gotten in? Here's

your stage guys. And they're like, oh, no. We're doing how to play. Give us two seconds. And they go into the time machine with the princesses and they come back and they know how they, they went on apparently a 16 month intensive guitar lesson. Slash honeymoon in the Middle Ages. Two week, two week honeymoon. Yeah. And they, yeah. Well, Bill looks like someone from Zizi Top.

Yeah. And Ted looks like the devil actually. Kind of just like the goatee they have Keanu wearing in this scene. And like he's wearing body armor for some reason. It's a weird outfit. It's not a rock and roll. outfit. No, it's, you know, there was another movie there somewhere. Those

16 months at sea. Dude, everybody figured it out. Here's a question. Are Bill and Ted virgins when they go into that thing? Ooh. Yeah. I'm going to vote yes. Yes, I think so too. Yeah, so they learned all sorts of stuff. They did jaunt. And they came back men. Well, I think it was

just a little dreamers kind of scenario. They all just kind of hung out for 16 months and figured each other out. That one magic summer. How about Michael Pitt as Alex Winter's son in the new one. Yeah, okay. Joseph and Gordon Levitt as Ted. Yeah, okay.

As the kids, right? Yep, all right. I'm kind of starting to accept this. Yeah. I could see that. You know what's kind of stupid in this movie? Way too. Well, yes.

Station. We'll get to the dumbest part of the Grim Reaper in a second. But way too many people in this movie can do the fucking air guitar bit. And I don't appreciate it One lick That is Bill and Ted's thing Stop copying Bill and Ted The rest of the movie

Because the fucking princesses are doing it Rufus is doing it Rufus does it in the first movie Stop copying me Fucking the Reaper does it At one point And it's the dumbest thing ever Ted's dad does it

I mean Well Ted's dad does it when he's possessed Yes but they do like a classical Acoustic guitar riff on him Right because he's an old fart so they've won right and they've come back and they've had sex and now they have babies and they're like look here it comes here comes our let's see let's introduce you to the whole band and stations on bongos the robots are backup dancers just turn those things off all right it's just you know what throw them in the garbage that's what they belong take them to best buys electronic recycling center get rid of them also only the princesses and bill and ted go on that trip yeah the fuck to station, though, that they're supposed to be playing bongos. Good question. The Reaper expresses interest in playing bass earlier in the film, so I guess that

goes without saying. And he's on the base, and this is when he does the Reaper rap. Oh, man, the Reaper rap. Like, I get it. We had Ninja Rap, like, around this time. Like, stop. It's about time for Reaper rap. I guess. I guess so. I guess this movie needed the Reaper Rap. And one of the headlines that you see pop up is Reaper Rap Sweeping the Nation? Like, yep, yep. No, it's not. No, it's not. It's not. They go on to play

a concert on Mars. They do. Oh, yeah, they tour the world. They go to Mars. And that's apparently where Station is from. Yes. So he's a Martian. Sure. Uh-huh. And yeah, I guess so. We do get a kick-ass kiss song. I would say probably

the only one because I despise Kiss. Yeah, totally. Yeah, this is actually really nice. God gave rock and roll to you? Well, this is the thing is it starts out with like Bill and Ted just jamming. And we're just getting this riff. This is supposed to be presumably a wild stallion song that helps unite the world. Well, that's what I didn't understand because it's then cutting into God give rock and roll you.

And I'm like, are they covering this tune passing it off as the. their own. And then it turns out the music of Gene Simmons and Kiss is what actually unites the world. Well, the thing is, I think, I think Kiss has been killed in the past or something. Oh, wait, they traveled back to the 1970s and murdered them. Or maybe Gene Simmons was a descendant of one of the princesses. Yes, that's exactly what it is. And it's a better world. And that's why you sort of have that wrinkle in time where you get the parallel thinking, because her bloodline was supposed to eventually get to this song. Oh, wow.

So it's just like, like God's like, it needs to happen. This song must exist. It needs to happen. So God did give rock and roll to us. Exactly. Holy shit. We confirmed there's heaven. So God is at play.

Oh, man. This is crazy. And the cool thing is the entire song gets to play. Yeah. It's a great song. And yeah, this newspaper montage of all the. accomplishments of Wild Stallion and all that they do I mean I'm not going to sit here and list all of them because I can't but it's

everything and they but they're a threat they threatened to break up and the Dow plummets they threaten to come back and everything goes nuts again oh right yeah it's turned out to be a hoax and the Dow sores and you're just like oh man who could care but that's the thing it doesn't take us far

enough into the future to talk about when one of the members of Wild Stallion dies or is assassinated I want to know, is there any resistance? Is there some, like, Red Dawn type of rebels in the woods, like, you know what? Fuck God for giving us this rock and roll shit. Absolutely. Also, it's pretty presumptuous that, like, everyone in the world is just going to fall in line with this music.

This hair metal, it's hair metal. And it was 91. Grunge was happening. Everyone was like, fuck hair metal. It's grunge now. And also, obviously, rap and pop music and all the other genres of music that people listen to you all the time. I know those stuffy classical music buffs aren't going to get in line

with Wild Stallion. No way. The opera heads don't think so. Don't think so. What about the deaf? The deaf aren't enjoying Bill and Ted. Right. Or the disco heads. They might as well be deaf. The people that just couldn't

let it go. Yeah, that's who's killing Bill and Ted. Oh, yeah. And then I mean, that's, it's, it's, over with. They do this, like, ridiculous like mash-up tune of, like, dumb music and quotes from the movie. And the

fucking gay slur works its way into this medley. Oh, best part of the movie, that's why. Because you're just quoting it in the car on the way home. My favorite part of that movie. I guarantee you, someone yelled that at their kids right after this. And then they're like, yeah,

they did the air guitar together. We're becoming closer. Yay. Oh, do you think there was parrot coming out of the theater like someone's dad that was like, hey, junior, Baird, and it was like, no dad. Three times in a fucking musical montage of your movie, like it was a theme.

Would anybody recommend Bill and Ted's bogus journey? Yeah, I, there's a ton of laugh lines in here that really hit. I love when Bill comes back from the dead. He's like, oh, dinner's over, Worm, dude, and pulls a worm out of his

year. It's kind of like a joke cribbed from Beetlejuice I appreciate it I think both Alex Winter and Keanu are great in this I do think they get diluted as the movie goes on because the movie gets really crowded

at the end we really do get less and less Bill and Ted the more station just starts butt cheeking all over the screen and that's the thing and the first one

yeah there's a lot of fun like we get those dream team see the Michael Keaton movie esk montages of all of them together running around but it is Bill and Ted front and center the whole time

totally and this one not so much but i would recommend it's funny it's fun yeah i'd absolutely recommend it but the first one is the superior film oh totally i agree with that yeah so you know it's fun you get your laughs you get a couple of them and uh there's some stupid shit too well it's certainly i mean i would recommend it and it's certainly not like a weekend at bernies two where it's like man there's just not a movie here no yeah you know like it's like i keep saying like they do enough different that it feels like a thing. Of course it doesn't need to exist. No.

You know, but whatever. The first one was successful. You find another way to make a movie. Although I'll tell you, stay tuned on animation damnation. I think this we definitely have to save until Chris is back on the show. That Bill and Ted cartoon was horrible. I don't remember it at all. It was horrible.

And there was a Bill and Ted serial that was horrible that I bought more than three boxes of? It was apparently a live action show as well that lasted nothing. really oh is that right on Wikipedia there's like seven episodes of some two clowns playing bill and 10 yeah two two exact clowns now but here's the

thing that you wonder what of those supporting characters maybe flies back into the show it says none of the original oh really so that you couldn't even get a missy how about station yeah Frank Welker does TV man Frank Warner does it all no I guarantee you that show

acts like that second movie doesn't exist yes one of those movies it's just it's just that first one and we didn't die and go to hell and whatnot. Yeah, I don't know. So this is our anniversary show. Now, this has been way, this a show has gone on way too long. Yeah.

How many, it's like years now. Five years. Yeah. Five? Yeah, this is their fifth year. Well, sorry to break this to you, people, but the show's going to keep going. That's Bill and Ted's bogus journey from 19. directed by Peter Hewitt.

Check out our website, of course, WHM Podcast.com or find us over on Sideshow Network.com. Our social media, as always, Facebook.com slash we hate movies or at WHM podcast on Twitter. Plug that. Go to Chris's work again there. Go to C. Walton 73 on Twitter.

That's at. You have to say at. At C. Walton. Twitter. At C. Walton 77. and Christopher Walton.D.a.orgio.com. Exactly how it sounds. There you go.

Right into the mailbag. We all hate movies at gmail.com. Right and review the show. You know what? That's a great point. Because we've been doing this for free for so many goddamn fucking years. I mean, we're still doing it for free.

Oh, yeah. That v. Hate Movies has to be destroyed. I'll go back in time. Oh, wait. I don't have to do anything. They never really. got off the ground. They will destroy themselves. They all

separately die in ditches. Separate ditches. So if you want to try to stop that from happening, please rate and review the show wherever you get it. It's honestly, I don't

want to be presumptuistic, but it's the least she could do. Tell a friend, spread the word, write a blog post about us. Hey man, any way you can spread the good word of program we would greatly appreciate it because guess what everybody this train's going to keep right on rolling and we'll be rolling into uh washington dc this saturday for a couple of live shows and also thank you very much sure obviously for listening for five years uh a lot of you

have been with us for five years thanks for nothing no eric there have been people who have been with us since like when the show was really bad not just like it's current bad now but when it was like we didn't know what we were doing bad yeah and man those are the Those are the true heroes. The earbud heroes out there. Thank you. Actually, yeah, no, sincerely, thank you for listening and giving a show like this a shot, especially guys like us. Salt of the Earth. And I, you know, I think we should use, and let me see if you agree or not, use the anniversary show as the time to say that we are wiping out the clues.

Yeah, we're done with it. We're going to try this new thing where we're just going to tell you what we're doing. A lot of people, right? A lot of people like to watch before. Watch an advance, but also build up anticipation, have time to tell your friends about what the episode's going to be. And it's kind of like a little movie club now, right? You know what I mean? We're all watching the same movie this week.

Exactly right, Steve. Unfortunately, the movie we're going to start on is Attack of the Clones. Yeah. So I'm sorry there. You would have liked the elliptical clue that you could say, oh, I can't find that movie. I guess I won't watch it. Well, I think we also told everyone about this already. So let's just finish out the rest of the year.

Attack of the Clones. Coming out next week. Sure. Then after that, Santa Claus the movie. Yeah, the Dudley Moore film. With, it's John... John Lithgow. Lithgow is a bad guy in it?

Yep, we're going back to Salkan territory. So there you go. You have a couple of weeks to prepare, because we all know you saw Attack of the Clones already. And you don't have to again. And you don't have to again is right. But two weeks from now, Santa Claus the movie,

coming to We Hate Movies. So tune your dials or your torrents or your Amazon's do whatever you do. check out the movie and then you can laugh along with us on our episode in two weeks so until next week i'm andrew jupin stephen say that eric cisco miss and chris gabin be excellent to each other and party on