We Hate Movies - S6 Ep231: Entourage

Episode Date: January 5, 2016

On the first episode of 2016, the gang kicks off a month-long look at some of the worst films of 2015, and what better way to start than with one of the most unnecessary films to ever exist, Entourage! Why did they not bother to put any kind of conflict in the film at all? When did E become such a scumbag? And watch your rug around that helicopter, Ari! PLUS: Mark Wahlberg & the Herculoids' dear friend, Goober, struggles with the big C. Entourage stars Adrian Grenier, Kevin Connolly, Kevin Dillon, Jerry Ferrara, Jeremy Piven, Emmanuelle Chriqui, and a slew of endless celebrity cameos; directed by Doug Ellin.  Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

Hello, I'm Andrew Jupin, Stephen Sadey. Eric Siska. And we hate movies. hate movies on the side show network thank you for tuning in as always welcome to the first episode of the year 2016 did either of you think

that we would live this long well no not at all I assumed the Mayan prophecy would come true and to be fair the holidays we're filming this before Christmas I don't know if I'm around with this episode airs who knows that's true Steve is my pick in a death

pool any day oh sure especially in the We Hate Movies Deathpool, Steve goes first. Also, we're recording an episode. We're not filming anything. Unless you're surveilling us secretly. Dude, are we periscoping? Oh, no. Oh, shit.

Put my pants back on. Kicking off the year 2016, as is tradition here at We Hate Movies, the worst of the previous year, kicking it off, Entourage, directed by Doug Ellen. The boys are back, you guys. Boys are back. Yeah, we got Vinnie Chase in the house tonight. Isn't it cool when I talk like that? Yeah, it's so different from your regular way of talking. In the house.

In the house. This is, for those of you unfamiliar, the film adaptation of the classic HBO show that I just learned ran eight seasons. That is bone chilling. Eight seasons and a movie. Wowza. That is insane. That's the top of the mountain, boys. Look out on the horizon and all that stuff.

Like, how many times are we going to be wringing our hands over whether or not Vince is going to do the movie? Because I watched like three seasons of it, and that's all that shit was. Apparently, basically a decade, right? Because it took a little while to get the movie out. So a decade. Apparently this takes place six months after the series finale. Yeah, like you, Andrew, I stuck around about three seasons. and then I just checked out.

I was like, I'm really done with their show. Yes, I think everyone should have been in that camp, probably. And, you know, we're not perfect for watching it at the start to begin with. It was a weird time the country was at war to take you back. Oh, pay me a picture, Eric. We were drinking heavily with no podcast to record. No, exactly. I had extra time on my hand.

We were picking up sunrise deli in Sunset Park, Brooklyn after a night out, going back to Chris Cabin's old place. Just being fat pigs. Oh, so, so fat. Oh, yeah, yeah. So fat, fat. What else are you going to watch at 4.30 in the morning while you're stuffing your face? Yeah, and it's like, I just think back and it's like it's eight seasons and a movie of five dudes laying down on their backs, flipping their feet up back over their heads and sucking their own dicks.

Oh my God, the self-suckery that culminates in a tidal wave of self-entitled semen in this movie. I mean, and I think the first-ish part of the show, like they were losers. You know what I mean? That's kind of the intrigue. They were like lovable losers, intriguing. Like that's coming up, you know. Yeah, exactly. Like Vinnie Chase was the guy, but these guys were like hanging on to him and like, you know, it's kind of scummy, but they don't really play it that way.

Yeah. And blah, blah, blah. But then now Turtle, I guess, is a billionaire, and E's got its own management company and drama who could care and whatever else. Well, that's the thing. It's like, when all of your characters succeed like that, that's it. It's over with. Yes, pencils down.

Nobody cares. It's like new Jay-Z albums. Like, I like Jay-Z when he's rapping about, like, how hard it was, like, the life that he had. Sure. I don't need to hear Jay-Z rap about how great it is to be the richest man on the planet. Billionaires rapping? Not that interesting. Have you heard Mark Cuban's album? That's all I'm going to say.

Did you put it on now? Oh, he dropped some tracks. Are you serious? Oh, God, damn it. It's about to run to the F.E. It's only available at F.E. I was going to see, it would definitely be an F.Y.E. exclusive. Oh, my God. It would be called the Cuban Missile Crisis, wouldn't it?

No, that's the name of the band. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. Dropping hot missiles at you. Or could it be, like, Mark Cuban and the Missile Crisis? Yeah, I like that. He's in this movie, him and his Frankenstein head. Oh, my God, yeah, this guy. Oh, my God, lumbering around.

That's, I guess, a place to start, because this isn't a movie. It's like, it's 27-60-second vignettes. Well, it's the ninth season of entourage that you never wanted it. They tricked us into seeing the ninth season of entourage. I haven't seen it in like seven years. They're like, no, no, it's a movie. I'm like, you sure? Yeah, yeah, go back there.

It's the back. But what's interesting is the good codes. That's where the entourage movie is in the back. Like, it's, I feel really burned because, like, this entire time,

I'm like, well, I've been off the show for years and years and years. So they killed your character off a long time ago. I should say I've been off watching the show. So you didn't know the mythology? You didn't know. I just assumed that these people would have changed in any way. And the biggest change is turtles not fat anymore.

and all I cared about was a fat fucking turtle. They should have all gotten fat. Vinny should have been run out of Hollywood. Like make it make the movie like an underdog story or something happened. Yeah, like said it like 10 years in the future. Right. They all have wives. Who's cheating?

You know what I mean? Like Vinny. Vinny could have that fat suit from Medellon on for real. Yes. Oh man. They all gain a punch of weight. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that would, yeah, like, or just anything else. They said it like a. essentially, I think, six months after, the first line in this movie is from Johnny Drama, I better jerk it before we get there because it's going to be so much hot sex.

And that's like, talk about setting the tone for the remainder. Every last single second of this movie is just jerking off coming, fucking, making comments about fucking talking to your friends

about people you have fucked or may want to fuck. And we open on a yacht. And actually, I was looking to the time code, which is bad idea, because you're watching paint dry, basically. Oh, yeah, totally. I counted it's about two minutes until we see a bare-chested

woman in this... Yeah, well, that's what you want. I mean, listen, for the people who were excited for this movie, you know, and going to the theater to see this piece of shit, two minutes was two minutes too long. Can I tell you about the people that were excited about this movie? Sure. I was getting

a haircut, about three months. ago so like I think maybe two months the guy next to me was also getting a haircut, young guy getting a nice tape up, shape up haircut and he's like oh man, what did you see this summer? They're talking about the movies of passing, yo bro, do you go see

entourage and the barber you know, he's trying to make a tip. He's like, oh no, I missed it. Oh man, no me and my boys, we rolled up and you could tell every squad was there with their boys and then they started playing the theme music

And I was like, yeah. It was a fucking awesome night, man. And I'm like, what world do you live in? Oh, Maron, the best fucking world in the world. The entourage world. He went through a magic mirror and I never saw him again. Like, how are you alive? You know, ignorance is bliss as I've read.

When those breasts popped out, those, that squad went nuts. squad went nuts all these squads so that father said to his young son well there's her boobers oh yeah totally dude right there that kid was scarred for life and there's the exit whoops this is the entourage movie great movie to bring your kids to so what yeah you so you said turtle's a millionaire because he made a tequila company and sold it to mark cuban i guess or something i don't know mark cubits is going to Vince is going to do the movie but he got divorced after nine days. That's great. Oh, celebrities. I mean, and the thing is, like, when the show began, like, he was in a loof dick and they kind of

played it that way. And everyone's like, oh, that guy's kind of a dick. Not in this movie. Like, he's still in a loof dick, but everyone's like, oh, it's cool. It's Vince. I love Vince. Well, now he's like an Oscar nominated actor or whatever. He's, in this movie, he's presented as a capital G genius. That's very true. This guy is a genius and he's going to reinvent the game because Ari Gold is now becoming

and I quote the king of Hollywood and what is the king wants he wants to be in the Vinny Chase business but what does Vinny Chase want to direct his first film? Right and so that's like the thrust of this movie is

Vince is directing a modern telling of Jekyll and Hyde that's just called Hyde where he's like an EDM DJ, oh, shoot me in the fucking head. I think that this is the first movie we've ever done where the movie itself qualifies as an episode. And I kind of feel like the movie within a movie also would be an episode. Oh yeah, because you know what it probably skews closest to in real life is like

I Frankenstein. Yes, it looks like exactly like I Frankenstein. Yeah, it's I Frankenstein, but he's a DJ that has like anger pills or something. And he like fires it out and everyone like, it's kind of like the beginning of blade a little bit. Like, It also felt very blade, yeah. I wanted Steven Dorf to run in. This giant rave and the camera's going through the crowd and there's all these people in black leather and whatnot, just partying, having a good time doing drugs and whatnot.

Sure, like you would, to party. You know, randomly just some breasts. They're in there. Oh, in the, in Hyde? Oh, I didn't notice. Hyde has nudity, my friend. I was too busy checking my watch. So we get all this, we get caught up with the boys.

after this kind of pointless yacht scene with a very long Pierce Morgan. This is where we are in the entourage universe. He's doing a story not only on Vincent Chase like he would, Noregold like he would, but about the entourage as well. He's interviewing Turtle.

Turtles on camera. That's, that was my question. And I don't, because I feel like you and I stop watching it at the same time, but like, does the world know about Turtle? You know what I mean? Like, my note was, who would watch this? Who would watch this Pierce Morgan special?

Who would give a fuck about what turtle has been up to or any of his entourage? Or Pierce Morgan. Also true. The only way anyone would give a shit about Vincent Chase's entourage is if in the world of entourage, they made a show based off of that entourage that was also called entourage. Well, funny you mention that. That's the pitch at the very end. Oh, yeah.

And isn't that the worst always in movies is when like, somebody some character looks directly at the camera and he's like hey guys i got a great idea for a movie or a tv show well no and then they give you the plot of the movie or the tv show you're watching but here's how this movie somehow makes that worse because it's pitched as a movie and then one of them goes oh i don't know might make a better tv show fucking fuck you movie and isn't everybody slapping their knees oh yeah oh that's the movie i just watched this is actually mirroring a moment that happened after Mark Wahlberg directed a movie that got five

Golden Globe nominations including Best Picture and actor and a supporting actor In case you didn't know I mean you have to know if you know anything about entourage based on Mark Wahlberg

Basically Mark Wahlberg is Vinnie Chase Right He had to bring his buddies out to L.A. To prevent him from beating the shit out of any more Vietnamese gentleman No bro, I'm getting all sorts of trouble I gotta get turtle and hamster and Gubura out here?

Oh, bro, Guba's not coming. Bro, did I tell you Guba can't make it? Oh, no, Guba's got cancer. Oh, no, Gubes. The Gubes.

He's got the cancer. The funny thing about it is, like, that's a better TV show and movie is... Wahlbergers? Well, yeah, the Wahlbergers, because, like, those were violent dudes.

Like, Mark Wahlberg and his fucking crew from Boston that were, like, breaking necks or whatever the hell they did when they came out in Hollywood. Yeah, bro. We'll fucking kill you. Oh, dude. You don't like the Red Sox? Oh, my God. Is that a Patrick Ewing jersey?

Goober, break this guy's neck. Oh, no, we can't because of the cancer. Sorry, I forgot about your frail bones, Goober. R-I-D, Goober, man. Yeah, Goober didn't make it to 2016 like the rest of us. Have you, has anyone tried to watch an episode of Walberg? No, because I haven't had cable for like six years, so I missed the invention of it. Well, it's on a, it's, I think it's A&E or something.

terrible. And I saw it in a hotel room, actually. Yeah. And, um, yeah, yikes. Are they literally just making cheeseburgers? My mom's making burgers. Is he other on the show? Yes. Is he on? Is he on it? Is Mark Wahlberg on it? He is. Oh, really? Okay. You know what? It's, it's so, like, like, I don't remember a lot of it, but it's just dumb. It's just like, you gotta, got to get these burgers now. I would wage your table sevens would wait 20 minutes. It's like the most, Boring parts of like food network shows like mystery diners or something and it's just like...

Bro, bro, you see that blue hair out there sitting at table seven? Bro, that's Cooper's mom. Her meal is comp, bro. Just so you don't fucking forget, her meal's fucking combed. She lost a son who is terrible. It was terrible.

I would wager that Mark Wahlberg is on Walbergers as much as Kevin Smith is on that fucking comic book store show. Yeah, it's special appearance. I've not seen that one, actually. Didn't you watch a little bit? of that? No, I mean, everyone thinks I did, but I did. Yeah, I guess that's, I was just unfairly making assumptions about you. I have been to that comic book store a couple times. It's in the neighborhood

kind of. That's cool. Yeah. So we do this whole Pierce Morgan, this is what you missed in entourage. I think even Pierce Morgan is like, wow, turtle, you lost a lot of weight. It's like, you know what, dude? I don't need a thin norm. I certainly don't need a thin turtle. Totally. If you saw me, if you, if I saw a, a thin norm, Peterson. I'd throw up and I would not watch the Cheers movie. Which, by the way, how did Cheers never have a movie? Because they had fucking respect for the audience. And they're like, oh, we ended it the way we wanted it to do. Good night, America. That's actually true. Like, we were a television show and that's where we shall stay. Yes. And I don't, that's something. I mean, I don't

understand this whole thing about these fucking TV shows need to be movies. Like, when has it worked? Naked Gun? The only thing is weird, like something like that Deadwood thing where the show didn't in the right way and like how do we wrap it up right like let's let's let's like have a movie to catch all the loose threads and make something nice but like you're just going to do it on HBO and it's going to live there

exactly you know what I mean like I don't need that shit to be theatrically released were there loose threads in the eight seasons of entourage that we had to sit through there were more movies that Vince may or may not do that's true or like you know those fucking sex in the city movies like

those are trash I have not seen it. I saw the first one in theaters. It was an air conditioning movie experience. Yeah, sure. Can I ask you a question? Do they use the theme song in that movie? Yeah, I do believe so.

Okay, because I was a little dismayed. I really didn't want to hear that Perry Farrell song ever again. I mean, I like Jane's Addiction. Sure, who doesn't? But that show ruined that Jane's Addiction song. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. And at least do something different with it.

It's just the same old driving around L.A. with like my name and lights ooh yeah the opening credits are the exact same like use an acoustic that's what I mean like use an acoustic version maybe like get Richard cheese or something terrible like that get me Richard cheese

Richard cheese and it's showing like Skid Row and like their names are like in cigarette butts because they've fallen on hard times and this is the comeback movie that's the thing have them do something where there's like conflict in this movie this is literally just four episodes of entourage in a row. It's, oh, man, is it ever? How is this not just the appropriate movie comedy

length of 90 minutes flat? Yeah, why did I need that extra 14 minutes? Where did that get pulled from? I think it's probably adding up all those useless celebrity cameos. Let's get into that. Sure, please. I don't know. I guess this, I mean, from what I remember, this was sort of the thing on the show where they'd run into people in Hollywood or whatever. Every episode had somebody in it. I mean, but my God, we're jamming them in. And they barely fart before they, leave the screen. Well, a lot of them are callbacks from the show itself. You know what I mean? Like Gary Busey was on the show.

Yes. I believe Boggsaget was on the show as well. Cuban, I think, was on the show. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Obviously, Mark Wahlberg was farting around. Of course, bro. But Goober's memory alone. You'd think that, at least for Goober's memory alone.

No, is Goober... He'd have a larger cameo. Is Goober a real hood in his posse? No, no. We're making that out. that dude hamster is real though hamster hamster's the guy in the movie he's like I'm fucking crazy

he's the guy that got caught up Richard gear right is that what's urban legend yeah yes he was caught up Richard gear I heard about that yeah so everybody

the boys go back to business Vince has directed this movie is like a hundred million dollars and here's the thing like know anything about Hollywood a movie where in a super future DJ is based on Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde,

that's a summer blockbuster temple and that's all it is and it's fun and it's either good or really terrible. Well, if it's really terrible, we're releasing it in February like fucking I Frankenstein. I was going to say this is February written all. It really does. But it's not and it's like

oh my God, this movie is great. Like when everyone who sees this movie is like, oh my this is a great movie. There's Brian's Song, the Godfather. and hide you just want to like I was watching it like no Jeremy Piven didn't just say he thought it was excellent right because like the conflict of the movie is we've got a bomb on our hands yes but no it's the best fucking movie he's ever seen so there's no conflict in the movie well that there's bad guys that take the shape of fat people that try and bring that bring Vince and

all of his thin buddies and down now. Right, because there's the outside interest is Billy Bob Thornton's playing this Texan millionaire that's got all of his money wrapped up in Hollywood, apparently. Oh, I'd wager he's a billionaire. Right, yeah. So, Lorne

Malvo here wants his money to be protected, you know? So he sends his chubby youngster to, you know, the coast. The second coming of Haley Joel Osmond. Right, playing Travis Malvo. Yeah, and I continue to enjoy this renaissance of Haley Joel Osmond.

I think he's, he has really found a voice as being a comedic actor, and I think it's great. He does a fun performance in this movie, even though this movie's not good at all. No, like, he's watchable, and Billy Bob are watchable. And honestly, like, whatever about him as a person, like, Jeremy Piven is an entertaining guy, and the character's supposed to be obnoxious, and he's good at doing this Ari Gold character. That's the only reason to even, like, maybe glance at this movie when it's playing it Best Buy, you know what I mean? Like, when you're shopping for other things and it's playing a Best Buy, like, oh, maybe I'll stand here for a second. Maybe Jerry Pipp will do something.

Oh, no, I'm not. Yeah, when you're going to Best Buy to use your holiday gift cards that you received a couple weeks back, glance at Entourage, and maybe you'll catch a glimpse of the PIV. So it's a bit... Vince is over budget. Ari is the studio head apparently at $100 million budget he needs $10 million more to do something and the movie

never tells you what that is there's a cut of the movie that people think is great it's the fucking godfather times three or whatever but no one says like oh that $10 million is going to go towards special effect it's going to go towards another character it's going to reshoot this one scene that we didn't get audio for

or something. Go into some detail about anything but no it's it's just like this and the shows like this too you know it's just this this fart it's like it's like Hollywood fart of like no we just need money and he just put money and movies come out

like heaven forbid we try to look at Vincent Chase as like you know this actor turned director and what his vision is for this movie and why he because the whole beginning of the movie like the whole first act is he's hesitating showing Jeremy Piven a cut of the movie and like yeah like you said Steve like you don't know

what his beef with it is or what he's like worried about happening with the movie and they just fucking skip that whole thing it's just glossed right over you know what it's uh replaced with tit is oh big time because it's parties and kevin connelly's character who is e uh who i think is the biggest piece of shit in the movie oh definitely without question sure he's like doing your classic nice guy persona your your nice ted bundy like no i'm a nice guy i don't i don't openly hate women i swear to god's like you're a dick, dude. That's the thing. The nicest guy in the movie is the biggest fucking scumbag. Yes. I think I've seen all year. Like, I don't remember much about the show.

I stopped watching it when Martin Landau refused to let him play Joey Ramon. And I was like, well, that would have been kind of interesting to watch. So I'm just done with this show. Like, that's why I stopped watching. By the way, Joey Ramon movie, Adam Driver, done. Oh, yeah. Oh, big time. I totally watched that. Checkmark. At Oscars all over the place. They made a CBGB movie a couple years ago. Yeah, nobody like that movie. Total dog shit and I don't know

who's playing them in there probably nobody. I forgot where I was going with this. Kevin Connolly. Oh yeah. Like I didn't remember if Kevin Connolly

was this much of a scumbag in this movie but like I could smell the fucking just gross fumes coming off this dude in this movie. He's like a creep. He's actually like kind of a creep. It's like he used to be like the blue collar

like he was our stand in right? He was the guy like... Right, he's the humble beginnings. He was like a pizza maker. He managed a, Sparrow's, dude. Yeah, and Q Gardens. Yeah. Oh, and by the way, anyone visiting New York City in this

coming, this new year here, Sparrow isn't pizza. No. Go find other pizza. Just use the internet to find actual fucking pizza. But also, don't go to a place that's making pizza and sandwiches and selling your chicken.

And salads, too. Like, they exist. You just got to skip past them. Anything that's got an Enzo's kind of feel, that's where you want to be. That's what my wife always says. If there's a pizza place that's making a gyro in the same stand. Nope. Nope.

Not pizza. Anyway, but yeah, so he was our like guide into this world. And we opened the movie. He's like having sex with some lady and like it's a really gross sex. I think she's actually a porn actress. That's why you see quite so much of her.

Oh, is that right? Yeah, yeah. Oh, all right. Yeah. And it's just like, oh, I have to stop fucking because my ex-girlfriend is calling me. I fucked her once and got her present.

So we're, like, dealing with this. Right. She's going to be having a baby. But it's like such an afterthought for this character and all these characters because the whole, like, the gist of this whole movie is those parties. And yeah, we're going to live forever. We're going to party forever. We're going to drink and have fun forever. We're never going to get old.

Well, the funny thing is they all said, I think at some point, maybe right after the Pierce Morgan interview, I think Turtle's like, bro, we're almost all 35. And I'm like, no, you're not. You're all 40 years old. Does he say that in this movie? Almost 35. Wow. My ass. And that's the thing.

It's like, why not just like wear your heart on your sleeve and be like, look, these guys are getting, what happens when entourage kind of gets old? And it doesn't have to be like, you know, a tale of woe. But like, you know, they're struggling with it a little bit. You're right. Because this is like, what was it? That anchorman line. Like, oh, we've been going to the same party for 10 years and that is in no way depressing.

Exactly. Exactly. Like, I'm sorry. We do this podcast once a week. I love seeing you guys. After 30, are you hanging out with your friends every single day? Like, you're 16 years old?

No. I'm mostly going home and falling asleep watching Hulu with my wife. I sleep in a big bed with my wife. You know what I mean? Like, that's what... I sleep at a race car. And it's not even about getting married or, like, having a spouse or anything. No, Steve, I just don't need to see you.

your ugly ass face every day. No, exactly. We're not partying. Independent people. We're not, because this whole entourage concept is like, bro, where are you going to be if Johnny's not here to wipe your ass? Yeah, you're exactly right. Like at this, we've had eight seasons and we're now in a movie.

Guess what entourage? Vince has it. You can fly away, Turtle. Well, Turtle is an independent millionaire or multimillionaire. Most of the time, I think we're at Turtle's house, not Vinnie's. Oh, yeah, you're totally right. Most of this movie is set at Casa D. Turtle. And he's the one, he's still driving Vincent Chase around.

And it's like, what? Like that, you know, you're making a movie. Here's the thing. You want to have Turtle be this like multi-millionaire with this tequila company. You introduce the new character is the new driver. You know what I mean? And that's how we progress as fucking storytellers, Doug Ellen. Or like, and like maybe like when Turtle hits it big, he buys it big.

like Vin a real nice car or like a classic guitar that was owned by who knows like a multi-million dollar present like dude thank you so much for getting my feet wet I'm now going to be an adult somewhere and I'm going to hang out with you when I can we're going to hang out we're going to like once a month it's going to be totally awesome but I can't live here and I can't do whatever this is yeah no thanks everybody we need to be adults now and I'm looking at you Kevin Dillon as Johnny Drama. You know what, Johnny Drama? If you're not as successful

as these other people, it's okay for you to live in an apartment. Yes. Oh, my God. Like, any old... He's always, like, booking work. Like, he was on a bunch of TV shows. The residuals, he's fine. Like, he's not doing Stamos residuals,

but he's doing okay. No, definitely not doing Stamos residuals, please. But he's like, Johnny Drama. It's all the never too young residuals. Never too young to die residuals. That's what you're talking about, right? I can't believe I'm saying this, but he's probably the most interesting character throughout the series. And in this movie, because he has more conflict.

He has the whole thing of like him and this humility, like he's being embarrassed all the time. At least he's going through an emotion that's beyond, oh, yeah, yeah. No, yeah, he's allowed to fail, so it's a character I want to watch. Like even, you know, and that's the difference, right? Like, even if Vinny's movie fails, the episode. Ends with him getting blown by a supermodel. And it's like, I don't give a fuck. Like, the perfect...

Does your squad give a fuck, though? I'm just curious. I think the two of you are my squad. Do you give a fuck? No, I don't. No, bro. No one's ever cast a picture of these fat pigs and said hashtag squad goals. I'll tell you that much.

Dude, I've never known what that means. Yeah, please explain. You're our youth consultant. Senior youth consultant, Steve. you say that. I think, oh, a new title for the new year. I like it. I think it just means like, oh, one day my squad will achieve this. And, you know, it's usually like Yoda and Luke and like, what squad? Is that an acronym? No, it just means like the dudes and or ladies that I hang out with. You're like your group. Like your core. Yeah. Your social circle as it will. Yeah. But what, you know, if you're not going to do it in the show, you can do it in the movie because it's a movie and you should. You should. should be able to do whatever you want. Like, use this as a way to, like, satirize Hollywood.

Like, contemporary, disgusting, soulless fucking Hollywood. But they don't do that. It's just like, look at my swinging dick being so successful in Hollywood. Isn't my swinging dick great? Isn't it weird that this movie didn't do so well? Oh, did it not? No, it didn't. It did not do well, huh?

It did it made money. It made its money, but, like, just barely. It was like a $27 million budget. made like 49 like not oh that's not good at all no um so that means we probably won't be having an entourage to shove down our throats like that sex in the city's equal oh no no oh no um so yeah e is like having sex with this one woman and then like he goes to like do lamaz class with uh sloane he gets a text from this lady while he's showing sloan something and she goes i want your cock which he should say is i want your kevin connelly cock comma comma for some

reason but she says i want your cock for some reason and he sloan sees it and he calls her up afterwards and for some he tells the girl oh by the way this weird relationship i'm having with my quote unquote baby mama she saw you send that text why would you ever let this woman know that that happened yeah you know what because he's such a nice guy yeah he's that's well that's he does yeah he does say that right he's like i'm always honest it's like i don't that's not good honesty dude No, it's also not interesting for a character. Yeah. Or who gives a shit, Eric.

You're also correct. Who gives a shit? But the young lady's name is Melanie. And after that exchange, she's like, I don't know, E, this is too weird. Yeah, it is. This is really weird. Why is your pregnant ex-girlfriend or ex-wife looking at your text messages? Like, I thought we were having some fun here.

Fuck you. Well, I mean, Mark. Yeah. We do know the truth of that. scene is that he's showing her a picture of his niece that was just born or whatever. It's just one of those like hope nobody texts me while this is happening.

You know, you guys always text me lewd jokes and things of that nature that I'm always like, sure hope they don't text anything when I'm showing my wife this picture of a puppy. I would hate your wife to see when I text you, I want your cocked. Yeah, that would be pretty awkward.

You know it's a good thing? Do not disturb. Oh, see youth consultants here. He knows how to use the Tech. When you're trying to go to sleep and somebody might be stoned texting you, I'm not looking at anyone in this room at 2 o'clock of the morning and you have an insomnia and it's difficult to go back to sleep. You do not disturb and that's all fine.

Oh, I'm glad you found that and stopped yelling at me through text. I didn't look at anybody in the room. Okay, so that confirms it wasn't me. I'm the guy that texts you had 6 a.m. Oh, you got a 2. Don't worry about it. I like to sleep early and sleep late. So one of the big, like, set pieces of this movie is they're going to have a test screening for Hyde.

And in true, oh, yeah, oh, yeah, fashion. It's not a fucking professional test screening in a screening room with fucking 10 people. No way, bra. It is a 500-person beach party. We're having a beach party, brough. And this, this, again, is another missed opportunity for this movie. Because E is like, oh, don't worry. I'm having everyone here.

sign in NDA. It's totally fine. And they're setting up a gigantic movie size, like a movie theater size screen up out on the beach. And I was like, oh man, someone's going to get the movie on the boot. It's going to leak. This thing's going to be a disaster. Nope. Like another fucking blown avenue to go down. And also, why would you have a test screening on a beach? It's a terrible

circumstance to watch a movie, especially a prestige question mark. Oh, man. Outdoor screenings it's here's what I always You could watch Superman on an outdoor screen It has to be a movie You've seen a thousand times That's why when you look at outdoor screenings

It's like Ghostbusters Casablanca Superman Top Gun Yeah not a new movie That no one knows anything about And you're looking for serious fucking feedback And everyone else Everyone there is looking at

Not the movie They're looking at the goods As I like to say You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying Bro? You know what I'm saying bro? Bro, can we get into Gary Busey in this movie? We could totally get into Gary Busey.

The ghost of Gary Bucy, I might call him. Dude, I don't think he ever knew the camera was rolling. I think he was just talking. It's kind of said. He looks a little frail. Yeah, I think he's reprising his character that was Gary Bucy on the show. And then he comes back as like the same thing. He's like doing like fake mysticism stuff.

Oh, is that what he did on the show? I don't think I got to Gary Bucy on it. And it's just like, it's kind of sad. He's just, you know, talking about the inner conflict of humanity's sense of good and evil. Hey, is the camera rolling yet, Doug? I got a lot of good stuff up my sleeve. You might if I wear these sunglasses the whole time? My eyeballs fell out three days ago.

I'm holding together by mostly duct tape at this point. I'm kind of like the invisible man. No, this isn't my hair. It's a ripped up straw hat. That's what it looks like. It kind of does, man. I know. And another.

50 motorcycle crashes. Hey, Doug, what's that duck type situation in this side of the world? Just want to make sure all my arms stay together. And like, you know, I get it. Like, your whole thing was like celebrities came in and made these cameos and whatnot. But you're making this movie, like, get a solid group of like maybe five celebrities that keep coming back in. Because it's like in this scene alone, like Clay Matthews, Russell Wilson, like all these football players are coming through. Baron Davis is there for some reason.

Totally. And you're just like, all these people are just running in like, hey, Vince, that's cool. And that's the cameo. Russell, apparently during the scene, Russell Wilson, who's in the scene, is quarterback for the Seattle Seahawks, is talking to E about being short. It's kind of a gag. And I think there was a football scene wherein Kevin Conley broke his leg. Ha, ha, good. And they had to, like, write around it or something, which I guess is, I don't know what that even means.

I didn't even pay attention. Was E sitting down a lot in this? he was on his back a lot yeah oh yeah yeah um who else do we get the dice man shows up the dice man in full

dice man regalia he's wearing a concert t-shirt that you can buy at a dice man show on of course he's like well look I'm going to do it but I gotta wear my shirt I gotta sell things to you stupid fuck Doug Ellen could I put my website

on the back of my leather jacket No, you can't dice. What is he even talking about in this movie? Doesn't he give like career advice or something? Like, hey, yo. He says something to Kevin Dillon, I think. I don't know. At this point, Kevin Dillon is roofying up a nice...

He's got Molly and Viagra and he's putting in a water bottle. Right. Because he's... By the way, I think it's Queens Boulevard and Medellee and Autour, Billy Walsh. Oh, that's who that guy is. Yeah, okay. He's got a, like... It's like a fucking candy jar.

Full of, like, Molly. Yeah, yeah. Hey, Billy, I thought you quit drugs. I quit the drugs that make you angry, bra. The thing I always bug me, and this is one of the reasons I walked out on the show, was like, Billy was a character that was, like, supposed to be, like, kind of a genius. Like, actually a good director, but, like, he was always the butt of every joke for having any artistic integrity whatsoever. Right. So it's like, you know, this isn't the show for me.

And like, and the same thing here. It's just a crazy nutcase. Right. It's art bro. Yeah, exactly. Oh, man. That's a bad person to be around a bro who's artistic. I think we knew quite a few art bros back at college. We knew some art bros for sure.

Oh, yeah, yeah. So he gets roofied, and he's on all this molly with a fucking, a gigantic throbbing erection, and he's running around this movie. And then some girl goes out, she's like, hey, you're cute for some. reason Kevin Connolly. And they go upstairs in Turtle's house and have sex. Turtle is giving a tour to Rhonda Rousey. And she's like kind of the main celebrity in this film, I guess. Like her length of appearance or length of screen time in this movie is what I wish you got like another four celebrities to do. Yes. And those were the cameos. Well, like this is her trying to get into acting.

Well, I will say this. I honestly. think this no joke in here on the comedy show I think Rhonda Rousey is a delight in this movie I think I think her jokes are hitting she's got good screen presence and I'll tell you what I'll watch that fucking Roadhouse remake oh that's right she's doing that right yeah

that's kind of oh yeah yeah and she beats the fucking ever loving shit out of turtle which is awesome that's fun come on that's cool so because she she fights turtles that makes her the film's hero yeah Rhonda Rousey is the hero of this film but it's a weird circumstance in which

She Fight's Turtle. And I'm sorry, listener, we are jumping around a bit. There's no plot to this movie. We're just, you know what? We're jumping vignette to vignette. Before we get, I just want to finish out this. Let's finish the weird sexual experience with E. So he's having sex at Turtle's house and, you know, Turtle and Ronda Rousey knew each other.

He's like hitting on her and then like he's, you know, get to the tour of the bedroom. And Rondraussie says, I think someone's fucking in there, which is kind of funny. Dude, I got a huge legitimate laugh out of that delivery. That's what I'm talking about. And they knocked down the door and it's E, and here's the thing. Thankfully, our squad, such as it is, if I walked in on either of you having sex, it would be like, oh shit, and close the door quickly. No matter what this is. I'm sorry.

If it's my house, your house, whatever it is, like, and we'll talk about it later. Turtles like, oh, yeah, bro, good for you. If was anybody else fucking in my house, I'd be so pissed off. But it's kind of cool, E. And Roder Reg. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. And Roderazzi's like, I guess I'm in this movie, handwaves.

Jump around, Eric, I apologize. Where was I going? The Not Too Distant Future. Oh, well, yes. Oh, yeah, the Ronda Rousey versus the Turtle fight. Turtle. Okay, so here's the weird stakes of that fight. All right.

If Turtle can last 60 seconds, he gets the banger. Right. Does he bang or? date. I think it's sex. No, but it's a joke. It's a joke, but he's like, I better last that long. I want to. Now you're

going to have to have sex with me. She says, how could you collect on that bet, by the way? I don't care. You eat a bet's a bet. Yeah, total. Yeah, that's a weird bet to fucking cash in. But what she says is if you can last

30 seconds in the ring with me, without tapping out, we can go on a date. He says, if I last 30 seconds at the ring with you, will you go out to dinner with me? And her response is, if you last 60, you can fuck me. Oh, okay. This is based on a true story by Goober and China. 1995, I think it was.

Bro, get in there, Goober. You could do it, man. Bro, it's China. Don't worry. She ain't got nothing. She wants to fuck you, Goober. Oh, no. Guba got beaten good.

He's going to the hospital now. And then at the hospital, when they run all The tests on the broken bones. Yep. Yep. Yep. That's where... Gub, guess what? Only a couple of stress fractures in your arm, bro. But it turns out you got pelvic cancer. Oh, no, bro.

Guba ain't feeling too good about this. No, Guba. Mark's not feeling good about it, neither. Hamster doesn't like it either. Gub, we're in with you for the long haul, bro. Whatever you need. Hold my hand, Guba. It's hamster. Yeah, the Herkaloids are pissed off too.

They're part of our deep squad, bro. It's me, Guba, hamster, the Herkaloids. I'm crazy. That's right, Herkiloid. It is going to be an uphill battle. But she breaks his arm, right? She breaks his arm and he doesn't tap out until the 30 seconds. So they can go out to dinner.

Yeah, it's a weird situation. It is. And this is another thing. This happens at the beginning of this scene that I was like, what the fuck is going on? They go everywhere together. They really do 35. I'll be 35 in about three years.

My God, if I'm going everywhere with anyone. Kill yourself. Yeah. It's like the whole thing is set up. There was an awkward misunderstanding where Rhonda invited Turtle over for brunch. or something and Kevin Dylan got in his head and he made him think it was more like a business meeting

so Turtles like pitching or all this shit like you should start a vodka line and work for Dan Akroyd, you know, all this stuff. No, it did. Dan Akrod's making more vodka than he is movies these days. That would have been a welcome cameo sure. Maybe instead, you know I know you like Rhonda here but

if someone was trying to woo Dan Aykroyd, it got more interesting. Hey, Rhonda want to go on a date with me? You talk about UFOs. But so then there's this misunderstanding where she's like thinking of it more as a personal thing.

Right, yeah. So she gets pissed off and kicks him out. So he's like, I should go apologize to Rhonda. She says come apologize in person. So they're like, well, get in the car, bro. We'll go apologize to Rhonda. I'd be like why don't you fucking hang out drama?

By the way, did we mention that they meet from Turtle obsessively stalking her in a car and chasing her down. He practically runs her off the road. He's like, oh, bro, it's Rod the Rousey. And they drive around. I got a thing for her, bro. So I'm going to follow her. The drive music starts. Yeah.

Turtle is not a real hero or a real human being. He's skinny enough to fit in the scorpion jacket, though. So that's fun. He finally got there. She hilariously takes out some like nightstick and beats the shit out of Vince's car which is pretty nice but then she's like oh hi Vince you know because it's small town

Hollywood oh everybody knows everybody these stars are rubbing elbows and they're out tonight you know what I like what we discovered we should do it this way is we'll talk about each character's whole plot line one on one because that's kind of a good way to do because I mean

I'm sorry this is this is a horrible stew yeah and it's hard to digest and we can't figure out what to talk about. Oh yeah, this movie gave me acid reflux. Don't worry about it. So next we got E. So, like, he gets, he has sex with this one girl.

He's trying to woo back Sloane. He has sex with this other girl because he gets roofied by drama and, like, really drugged out at Turtle's House. That's what's going to happen at Turtle's House. You put your drink down at Turtle's House. You leave your drink down at Turtle's House. Oh, yeah.

Meanwhile, you are the producer of this hundred-plus million-dollar movie. And you're getting fucking whacked out on drugs and fucking, when you should be worried about this movie might be tanking. There's so little work actually done. Like, how about Turtle actually do something for that

company? Show me what is going on in some way. How about something happens there's like a production malfunction and like the stock of his tequila company plummets for some reason? But no, it has to be a fucking fantasy forever. I almost

I think I might have a working fan theory. We'll get back to E in just a second. It's fine. Everybody put your pencils down. I got my listicle ready for your fan theory. All right. And we've been saying this a lot lately because it's basically every fan theory and it's really dumb. What if Turtle, this is all Turtle's imagination. Oh, and he's dead? Yep. This is the flickering leaving the eye of a dead fat turtle.

Oh, I like where you're going with this. He accidentally took some bad Mexican weight loss pills. Yeah. He's like, what if I was, oh, what if, what if, what if, I was thin. Oh, I'd be sleeping with Rhonda Rousey. I'd own him. I'd be friends with Mark Cuban with a multi-million dollar company. When in reality he just

ODD while watching SportsCenter. Right. He's just like... Jerking off. He's twitching on the floor right now. Oh, yeah. And this entire movie. R-I-D. Turtle. Yeah. It's all in his head. Bro, Turtle and Goober are laughing it up

in heaven. Oh, man. I got a tattoo on one bicep a turtle, the other one a goover. I only got two biceps. I hope no more friends died. Then they're going to be sharing biceps, bro. Just tattoo their faces over the other faces?

That'd be pretty cool. I always said when LeVar Burton goes, I'm getting him on my back. Huge TNG fan. And he taught me how to read when he was in his 30s, right?

Yeah, yeah, I know her. You got the knees. I'm going to get knee tats on my knees when you guys go, but I think you guys live forever. I don't know your Herkiloids. How am I supposed to know how long Hercules live? Anyway, back to this movie that's kind of about me, bro. So, the journey of E.

Let's get into the nitty gritty. So he, I mean, it's kind of stupid. Like, he goes to Lamas class with Sloan. Right. And she's like, hey, you know. This actress is who? Emmanuel Chiric. Cherique.

Cherique. I don't know how to say that. And she's like... And what is the backstory between them? Oh, they were... Dude, they were the Sam and Diane of Entourage. Such as it was. But then he, like, screwed her mother or something?

He, I didn't... This is way after I left, but he had sex with her stepmother, I guess. Sure. Her dad, by the way, Malcolm McDowell on this show. No Malcolm McDowell camey. He's stupid to do a burrito commercials. Well, unless... Unless they like

Killed him off on the show That's entirely possible Right or did E sleep with him too Hello E Oh no you had sex with me I'm gonna turn into a puma now What I think is Matt Looks like Johnny drugged you

Gonna eat this Stuff off my body Lick Lick I couldn't help myself I want your cock E And now I'm a cat I got the

Someone texted you Malcolm I want your cock What is That's my father E Oh then he said You had cute cat picture

Oh no that's him That's him He turned into a cat It's Malcolm McDowell cat It's a cat dick pick Isn't Malcolm McDowell On that new Amazon commercial

Where he's like Now you've got a show hole And I'm just like Stop saying show hole TV Well Entourage had a show hole, and this movie filled that fucking hole, just like E. Yeah, that's right.

Oh, man. So there's going to be an E Jr., and this guy's out contracting all kinds of. Well, speaking of contracting. That's what happens. They're like, oh, will we, won't we get back together? And she's like, I don't know. You kind of lost me when you had sex with my stepmother. My entire family.

and you fucked my dad that time when he turned into a cat you also fucked my dog and she's like oh you know if you come to my house we'll have sex because i'm pregnant i kind of just want somebody around you know what i mean it's hard to meet somebody when you're pregnant which i imagine is true uh and he gets a phone call from the the first woman and she's like look i'm pregnant you better meet me in 20 minutes right and he's like oh fuck bro and he's like oh i can't meet you but didn't they have sex like that day? Does the science work on that? I'm not a scientist. I'm pretty sure

the science doesn't work on that, actually. Dude, also, by the way, E, I guess, doesn't believe in wrapping it up, which means my God, what's going on over there? What's going on is, oh, yeah, oh, yeah, yeah. Is that the Richard Cheese version? Oh, no, mine is a lot better.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Thanks for coming out tonight. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. It's been great playing this New Jersey Casino Richard Cheez So he goes out to lunch with the He's like oh I can't You know He jeopardizes his thing with Sloan

He goes out to lunch He knows I'm sorry He feels like shit He's walking hang dog Drama and Turtle pick him up Because they're just driving out He get the car bro come on Is that he?

Bro said he He's walking around The Peanuts music's playing Because man That humdrum Dude I'm sorry you fucked so many people in the short amount of time of this movie. Dude, they did that gag in Arrested Development.

And now it's just here without the piano. You need the piano. And they're like, bro, get in the car. Nobody walks in L.A. What are you a fucking homeless person? And entourage is supposed to be kind of a comedy. Why can't they play up stuff for laughs beyond the witticisms? It's a comedy drama, Eric.

It's a comedy drama. Johnny drama. So they're like, oh, and he explains the whole thing to them like, all right, bro, you go in there, we'll be here from moral support. And then they wind up going in the restaurant with him. They can't help themselves. And he's like, what the fuck are you doing? And he's

like, bro, we're hungry. And it's like you're in Los Angeles, Turtle and fucking drama. Go anywhere else to get food. Let me have an adult moment by myself. I may have gotten two women pregnant. No, I need to, I need to be here with my buddies. My buddies need to watch me do this and take pictures of me by the way and then the third girl shows up and she's

like oh you know that happened really fast can i sit down and he's like oh no i'm supposed to meet the other one this is like a bad episode of entourage by the way and she basically the gist she starts saying that she might have an sd and he starts freaking out and basically the other one sits down as well and she's like by the way we got you or something they're roommates as it turns out we wanted to teach you a lesson and you know what the lesson is dude like shut the up. I mean, honestly, there's no point to, like, why doesn't he have two kids women pregnant? Exactly. That would be such an interesting thing. I'm thinking the same thing. I was like, oh, again, here's another opportunity for conflict in this movie. No, but you know why? Because the party's

never going to stop, bro. We're never going to get old. Oh, my God. And, you know, I think this qualifies as a sexy prank. Yeah, it is. It's kind of a sexy prank. They both sleep with them, and they both make up a bogus terror story. Ooh, maybe there's repercussions. Oh, there it is. Of your action. Or wear a condom ever.

Well, yeah. Let's just go back to spend the $12 to get a box of condoms. You millionaire. You sex-crazed millionaire. You think there'd be a closet full of them around there. Totally. Like, come on. You admire these people.

Like Mark Cuban, you don't think Mark Cuban's wrapping it up? Mark Cuban's wrapping it up. Yeah, well, he's also, he's wrapping it up, and he's having the women killed after. Wrapped up in garbage bags. Those are imperishable. But, man, you know, there's so many shots and so many parties, and there's so many shots of these parties, man,

that like these girls in bikinis dancing around with their dead eyes. And it's just like, hey, we're just, just me. Oh, no, it's just... That's how the movie presents them, not me. No, you're right, because this movie is 40-year-old dudes oogling 19-year-old girls and having sex with 19-year-old girls the entire time.

Yeah. And he is that... Even at this scene where the two women who he had sex with, like, behind their back and blah, blah, blah, blah. Like, he's in a relationship with the first one, kind of. Yeah. It's... They all have to stop themselves and say, but you're a really nice guy because you talk in a small voice, I guess?

Like, you're a scumbag, dude Like you're a legitimate fucking scumbag Well, he's soft-spoken He's got like a cute Like queen's accent a little bit You know Like I just, I'm just a humble man I used to manage a Sparrows

Now I'm out of year I'm a millionaire movie producer I mean, who am I? I'm nobody, I'm nothing Let's get fucking Cupid doll Oh yeah Oh, that's great

Oh, that's great Oh, text me again about my cock Yeah, that's cool Oh shit Hey Turtle I got a heart Hey, Turtle, what are we going to do about this? Also, just in thinking... What are we going to do about this?

Oh, man, that happened with Goober and Hamster, bro. We don't talk about that. But after that many perkinsets, you're going to do whatever you're going to do. I know Herkiloid. You're not going to get involved. Bro, did you know that Goober and Hamster are actually Eskimo brothers? No shit, bro. That's a thing that happened.

Be jealous, Herkiloids, it happened. Dude, I spent two days trying to find a hole on a herculoid. I couldn't figure it out. Man, that's like trying to find a hole on a herculoid. I don't care who you are. That's funny. We can get into... Oh, man.

That's basically his plot, and then he winds up with Sloan, essentially. We can get into Vinny's plot, which is the main beef. It's supposed to be. The movie, Haley Joel Osmond comes. Vince is dating some girl named... I don't even, she's like an actress. She's a model turned actress, I believe, is the idea. Emily Radarowski.

I think she was in Gone Girl. Emily Radahowski, she plays the college student that Ben Affleck sleeps with in Gone Girl. And she's in this movie, and Haley Joel Osmond falls in love with her, and he sees the movie and says he hates it. His notes are, I want to cut Johnny Drama out of the movie, which is a big problem because, you know, everyone feels bad for Johnny Drama. He's their dog, apparently. Like, oh, drama. Yeah. Well, bro, bro, did someone feed Johnny chocolate?

He's puking up in the corner, bro. Does someone feed Johnny chocolate? Come on. Fess up. You would think... Did you eat all the star magic from the herculoids? That's for the Herculoids, drama. Drama, get out of the garbage.

Get out. Don't you growl at me, bro. Get out of the garbage. Oh, come on, baby, bro. Come on, little bro. Oh, man. Little bro. The thing about cutting drama from the movie is like,

Johnny Drama is no stranger to being cut from movie. And granted, he's like, oh, bro, this is like the best acting I've ever done, bro. But spit it out drama, drama, drop it, drop it, bro. But just like, the whole idea. that like man we can't bring ourselves to cut drama from this movie drama you're getting cut from that movie yeah you know come on there's that so that uh hilly joll osment uh locks himself in the editing room right and like tries to hijack the editor and this is when we got our first of two mark walberg cameos where it's him hamster and somebody else's like oh what's going on

oh right oh you got someone locked in the editing room that happens all the time i'm doing ted three yeah we're making ted three jokes by the way i would do 20 of them. He also mentions Walburgers. Oh, he does. We have to get that Walburgers plug in. Oh, Ari. Oh, yeah. Walburgers. It's on A&E, bro.

Bro, Wednesday's at 9.30 on A&E. Season 5 is happening. Hold on. This movie about my life is based on a TV show also about my life. And now I'm in it, bro. Bro, what's real? I got to call Tom Brady, bro. I don't know what's going on.

Hey, Tom, am I real? Hey, quick. Hey, Tom Brady, and we got to do like the end of fight club, bro. Shoot me in the fucking head. Wake me up, Tom Brady. Shoot me in the head. Is this all a dream? Am I in Tom Brady's dream? Oh, shit, bro.

I think I'm in an inception. I've been incepted. Bro, I audition for that movie, and I got the fucking raw deal from that Chris Nolan. Bro, also deflakeate a bunch of bullshit. Tommy, you're a legend. And Tom Brady's like, oh, my God, every week with this guy. It's just Tom Brady puts the phone on speaker. and leaves it on a coffee table and walks away.

But, like, do you ever think, like, if you're, maybe this is, we're all living on some giant's fingernail, bro? I think about that all the time. Honestly, you tell that to Tom Brady, and he'll be eating out of your paw, man. That guy would believe it. Because, I mean, he wants to make America great again. Did you hear about this?

Oh, yeah, he's a Trump supporter, man. What a fucking idiot. Yeah. Oh, man. And it's not just because I'm a Giants van, but what a fucking idiot with that shit. Yeah, he's also a sheet. He's also a dirty round and sheet.

He's a baby abandoner. Mm-hmm. Yeah. I abandoned my child. I abandoned my boy. Bastard in a basket. Yeah, laments Tom Brady's never had. I could use Daniel Plainview in this movie.

Where is the Daniel Day Lewis cameo in this movie? Oh, boys. The party's just getting started. Where are those Mali tablets? Or how about Billy Bob Thornton be an actual Texan villain or something? He's barely in this movie. He's like, see you later movie. I got Fargo to do.

That was pissing me off, man, because, like, I'm coming off Fargo season two, and I'm getting ready to start one. And I was like, oh, little Billy Bob treat to ease me into Fargo season one. No, approximately four and a half minutes of screen time. Yeah. Horse shit. Because, like, all... He's the Boba Fett of this movie. Like, all the best parts of this movie,

he's not in it for, you know, more than five minutes. My favorite Vinnie Chase line. So, like, the whole thing is like, oh, drama, blah, blah, blah. Cut out of the movie. They sit down with Hillary Jollaz, but he's like, actually, I'm not a fan of what you do, Vince. I want to replace you in the movie because I'm so pissed off. And I think it's after E breaks up with the girls or whatever

and, like, all the shit with Turtle comes in. Right. They're all spouting all this horse shit. Oh my God, do you see what he did? Blah, blah, blah. Drama, Vinny Chase just goes, I don't give a fuck what you're talking about right now. We've got to worry about my problem,

which is amazing because that must be happening all the time. Like, you know what? Drop it, drama. Yeah. Put it down. Spit it out. That's not the time for this shit. But that's like the end of the second act of this movie,

which if there is one, but there's not. But if there was one, it's like, they all got to get mad at each other and then go away for a little bit because that's how you fucking tell a story Doug Ellen eight seasons of this horseshit you know Doug what to direct the movie

I let him do it I call him Doug E-Dog he's a buddy of mine Doug takes my calls Oh shit my existential calls at 2 o'clock at the morning Bro every time I say Doug E-Dog I want hot dogs

I'm hungry interview over I'm going to get hot dogs Hebrew National Here I come What are you doing, Mark? You're the owner of Walburgers. You've got to have burgers, bro. Bro, I don't eat that shit.

What are you fucking crazy? I'm crazy. I'm hamster. I thought you're talking to Goober? Bro, I just see Goober in your face all the time. You were first cousins. You're seeing Goober everywhere, bro. I'm worried about you, bro.

Maybe Goober's not dead. Maybe it's all a dream. I don't know. What is reality anyways? You know what I mean? That's why I watch so many fucking Red Sox games. Bro, what if we're living in the death dream of a fictional character right now? Oh, fuck, bro. That's deep.

That's deeper than the Mariana Trench. Do you know how deep that is, by the way, bro? That's like a whole other planet down there. Every night I go to sleep and I pray that I don't wake up back on the set of shooter. Like, I always think, like, maybe what if this is all a fever dream and I'm still in shooter? That guy, Danny Glover, was always yelling. you ever heard of this Danny Glover guy he was always yelling at me he wouldn't let up he was a real mean jerk also Danny Glover not a fan of the

herculoids it's all I'm gonna say he did not want to do Gak with the herculoids and the herculeids love Gack it's all they do I'd say Herculoid have a beer nope they're blowing yo bro I don't know what happens I mean like basically Ari loses his mind because like he's also kind of getting forced out of the studio or something right because it's going over budget either the studio has like no real tent pole there's no marvel or star wars coming down the pipe it's just hide hide hide which everyone views as a vanity project as a well they should yeah absolutely but just eric all you have to do is watch hide and you know it's the best fucking movie ever made i know turns out it's a masterpiece all you had to do is watch it bro There's this one scene where Ari is driving in a golf cart around the studio and he bumps into David Spade and David Spade's like, Ari, you put my movie releasing on May 4th. How are you going to do that?

It's going to get so hungry. It's like, no, David Spade's not opening a movie in May. Yeah, no, because what is this, Crackle? I was going to say, as we all know, he's the studio head of Crackle. This is good. This movie Hyde is going to be huge for Crackle. Oh my God, you better bump up the bandwidth.

for Crackle, because here comes Hyde. We might have to bubbs some episodes of Sports Jeopardy on Crackle because I don't know what's going to happen with this hide. Sorry, David Zweed. Joe Dirt 3. Joe Dirt during the Revolutionary War will have to wait.

Jessica Alba pops out and she's like, oh my, it's hilarious because it shows how little respect this movie has for itself because she's like, oh, she's got like a bunch of guns. She's like, Ari, why am I doing this stupid zombie movie? I want to do my passion project. Now, when someone's talking about a project

they want to do, they're like, I want to do Salaris. I want to do whatever. You want to say, I want to do my passion project. Another gross inaccuracy with this cameo, she wishes she was doing a zombie apocalypse movie. Also, she's hanging out with David Spade on Crackle. Also, she complains that the director

is Instagramming pictures of her ass. Hashtag Jessica Alba's ass. So she says, so goes the movie that's hey that's the price of being a woman in entourage yeah you're either going to get pregnant or you're going to get fucked or that's it yeah or fuck then get pregnant either way we're looking at you entourage either way we're looking at you it's so true also Warren Buffett for some goddamn reason is driving in a golf cart apparently

Apparently, Warren Buffett is the owner of the studio. Sure. But the chairman of the studio is showing up, John Elis is on the studio lot, what? Oh, yeah. And he's going to probably fire Ari. Yep, played by Lost's Alan Dale, a great character actor, Alan Dale. He'll strike fear into your heart. The studio stuff, again, the Ari stuff is fine.

It works. That's like your... How about the therapy stuff? Because now, like, Ari is trying to... Like, because apparently to take the job, like his wife made him do all this therapy stuff. And was that, was that an end of the show thing? Like, did Ari retire? Yes, yeah, I was looking at that.

I was looking at that was, we're competing. Yeah, like, that was kind of the thing. He retires. Right. And they're just undoing that. And it's like, you don't even see a scene of someone trying to convince Ari to come out of retirement. You know what I mean? Like, that's how you start entourage the movie.

Vinnie Chase is pitching him this idea for this movie. and he gets behind it, and he's convinced to come out of retirement. The movie starts with, like, he's already the head of this fucking studio. It's ridiculous. But also, I was leading up to another choice celebrity cameo. We're talking, Kelsey Graham. Oh, yeah. This is a laugh line.

Oh, man. I don't remember what he says. What's the laugh line? He walks out. Eric's got it. Oh, he's like rambling about therapy. Oh, well, if you're here, you're fucked as well. I'm fucked. You're fucked. Did I butcher it?

No, no, that's about it. And the same thing happens with Liam Neeson. Just gives him the finger for a second. That was one of those ones where I was like, was Liam Neeson on that show at some point because that sort of indicates a past history. Probably. But also, you know, possibly not because it's the entourage movie and no one's given a fuck about anything. Here's a question, celebrity cameos. I would love if Bugs Bunny was in this movie. Like for four seconds, like, Ari, you got to get me the movie. I know bugs. I know bugs. Who let you out of Toonetown? Lloyd! Did you let this fairy out of Toon Town?

That's a good point. And I say that because he's a cartoon, not because of his... I love you, Lloyd. I love you. You're my boy, Lloyd. That's the 15th to 20th plot of this movie. Lloyd is getting married to maybe a guy that he met in the show. I don't know if it was Greg Luganis.

Oh, fuck that. Yeah. That's stupid. I mean, they don't say Luganus, but I mean, it's actually. fucking totally handsome you know gray fox Greg Luganis and they're like he's like this is my fiance

Greg yeah and they want R.A. to give away Lloyd at the wedding. Right which is and here's the thing is like you have the potential to have some heart in your movie and like at all at all yeah you want to put in there yeah yeah yeah Lloyd is like the most

sympathetic character in this movie because all he's doing is like you know are you mean Gajian Lloyd that's so fun, isn't it? I'm going to put you in my phone as Gajun Lloyd. And all the fucking bros in the audience are going to piss their fucking fat jeans. Yeah, dude, those jokes get old

fast. They certainly, certainly have. My fat... Jinks. I knew you guys are going to fight over fat jeans. I was going to say... It's a great volleyball you tossed up there. It's like we're at a beach party with the boys right now.

Dude, our squads playing some beach volleyball, bro. go ahead with your fat jeans joke well it's been ruined now but i was going to mention something about how they're they're always damp because of that urine because they're they're laughing so hard i was going to say my fat jeans were bone dry because none of these fucking gay bashing jokes are funny i went damp you went dry yeah very interesting nice serve back to say that yeah i know hercule that's a pretty good joke You know, Herky Lord, that's how you tell a funny gay joke

But it's just like, it's just this dude Call, I mean, it's just like the gay mascot shit Or like any, any, he's also like a gay slash Asian mascot Like I hate any mascoting that happens because like That's the token, whatever and we're gonna, we're cool with it He's cool with it too because he's always like, you guys And it's like, uh, yeah, but that's a paycheck for this guy So I don't, you know what I mean? Like whatever.

Yeah, I mean, it was either. or like this dude tries to go to fucking a mad TV audition or something, I don't know. But I mean, I like this guy and like you feel so bad for him that he's like, listen Ari, my dad hates that I'm

gay and he hasn't talked to me since I came out to him. Would you please give me away at my wedding? And he's like, fuck you gay guy. I'm making a movie because that's what I do and I don't worry about you gay guy. I'm going to drive around in Ari's Ferrari by the way. What?

I'm going to drive around at Ari's Ferrari, by the way. Oh, yeah. Man, vanity plates. Fucking stick them up your ass. Every last one of you. Oh, Turtle had to go to the DMV and get vanity plates for the whole squad. I guarantee you. Yeah, Turtle is the one making the trip. And it's a big problem because you've got to show up in person to get those.

And, yo, you know, Turtle, pick up some Bose headsets. Five of them. You fucking piece of shit. How is there never a storyline where Turtle rips off. Vinnie Chase. I know because he becomes an independent millionaire. But that's a dude like who's selling Coke out of Vinnie's basement. Dude, you need the

Paulie and Rocky 5 losing all that money. I think just house money like oh you know I use that house money wasn't it that dude Dom who was the bald guy from the wire who was like kind of that character he's got a cameo in this like he's the

because he's in jail. Oh was he in this movie? Yeah. And now he was like evil turtle right? Like from the mirror universe. He was Pizarro Turtle. He had a little goatee. He was Goober. Right.

And then Spock chased him through the portal or something. So, actually, where that guy comes in, probably the most interesting, not really interesting, but like Johnny Drama's plot is, he's in this movie. He's really excited about it.

He's like, oh, bro, it's going to be great. And they're like, oh, good for you, drama. He's a treat. And he's also got this relationship where he's like Skype. sexing with this lady yes this is fabulous um in the middle of one sash uh her boyfriend shows up and is like fuck you i'm gonna find him gonna kill you i'm gonna ruin your life and he's like whatever bro come at me bro and it's like whatever now i don't know if we adequately explain this he was

they were like facetiming or whatever they were jerking off at each other yeah at each other yeah and then the boyfriend came in and he was none too pleased he wasn't having it also apparently this was the second time that day that they were doing this. This woman's like, we just did this like six hours ago. I was like, what is with the fucking sex addicts in this movie? Left and right. So that's cool, bro. Johnny Drama is at an audition for like, I think it's The Mentalist Season 2.

It's kind of an okay gag. David Faustino's there. That sucks. But Richard Schiff is directing the episode, which is about right. Dude, it's David Faustino and Chad Lowe in this audition lobby. woof yeah that's that's what you got there uh because i think they're both at least one of them or was on the show probably i would guess sure it was probably fastino yeah you can't keep that fastino down but basically everyone in the audition starts laughing while he's doing his thing like

why what's going on and apparently the boyfriend leaked the tape of him jerking off and he's on TMZ right and you got to get that TMZ cameo in there oh yeah the TMZ guys going like we got a huge celebrity's brother and they all laugh they all have a big rib-ticklin laugh the weird thing about this

is and I mean look I don't want to see it but every time they show it it's blurred like it's on TMZ it's obviously blurred but people are watching it on the internet and it's blurred honestly the amount of female nudity I've seen this movie I want to see cock

I don't care if he's using a cock double But things on the internet don't get blurred, man. Like, that's not how... If a celebrity sex tape comes out... You see it. You see exactly what's going, and it's disgusting. And also, I was kind of hoping, like, he goes to his therapist at one point.

He's like, bro, I'm in a real panic here. And everyone's kind of worried about Johnny Drama. Like, if this ends with Johnny Drama getting cyber bullied into killing himself... Sure. I would love it. That's kind of a two-star movie. Yeah.

He takes all his clothes off. He walks into the Pacific Ocean, and he never comes out. Oh, like that Don Draper had he was trying to pitch. You remember that? Yeah. They're like, where did he go? How is it supposed to advertise our hotel if he killed himself?

But like, yeah, I mean, like, if that's the end of it, in the end of the movie, like, you know, Vin makes the movie and drama, everybody loves him in the movie, but like it's the ending is drama's funeral. Sure. Oh, I would love it. That's some stakes. It's weight. It's something.

actually saying something about celebrity culture if like he really goes that far but that's what I was saying earlier dude like it has those opportunities sure to comment and satirize that stuff because you could even make his suicide funny like you could do it right yeah he could be buried in his Viking quest out

bro it's like Lagosie went that's how I want to go you know generations had the balls to kill Kirk have entourage the movie have the balls to kill drama and then he can leave like his old Johnny Drama's Last Will and Testament, and it's a video? Yes.

He's like, bro, if you found yourself in the darkest timeline of entourage, it means that I am dead. Here's what you got to do. And he advises them to go their own ways and be adults and stop depending on one another. I think he's like the hero, the fallen hero. Yeah, that's a movie. That's kind of a movie. Now, that's kind of a movie. Listen, little bro, you're going to have to learn to wipe your own ass eventually.

Man, you think how upset. Do you think Donnie Wahlberg is about the drama character? Um, not that upset. Really? Yeah. I'm sure he beats something up for it. I don't know if it's a wall or a dame or... Get over here, Guba.

I'm going to beat your ass because of this drony drummer. But I got cancer. I don't care, Guber. I played a guy with cancer in that fart alien movie. Get over here. It's either you or a vaccinated kid. You hear about this? He married Jenny McCarthy, right?

Oh, wow. Yeah, they hate them, vaccinators. They fucking hate him, dude. That's a big fat whatever. It sure is. Speaking of a big fat whatever is the entourage movie. The end of the movie is Haley Joe, and the thing is, like, at first you're thinking,

like, oh, Haley Joel Osmond just kind of hates drama and maybe he has, like, good points about the movie. And then, like, you find out that he's in love with the woman from Gone Girl who's damaged here. Emily Radikowsky. Emily Radikowski, like, and he's a fat loser, so he knows nothing about nothing. Yep. And, like, he, like, loses, essentially. Like, Ari goes to this big meeting and he outs him.

My favorite part of this Ari going to this big meeting, because it's the riskiest part of this movie. Jeremy Piven's character decides he's got to get to this meeting. It's like down the coast, whatever, he's got to get there in time. He charters a helicopter. He gets there. He lands on Allendale's golf course, and Alan Dales, like, I, you can't park there. I'm trying to cover up my accent.

And you see Jeremy Piven get out of this functioning helicopter, and this rug starts flip-flap. And I was like, whoa! Like, I reached out to the TV. Like, no! I thought that rug was going flying. The money he paid for that thing. Oh, yeah. That thing's got its own little ecosystem.

I'm surprised it didn't just staple it for that scene. Like, what, like Weekend of Bernie's? Yep. Yo, Piven, where'd you get that rug? Guba feels self-conscious. He's getting chemo. So this meeting. Basically, it comes to light that

Heli Jala's been the villain of the movie. It's like, oh, you're the villain of the movie. You should lose. It's like, yeah, I will. Hi. Don't worry, I will. And, like, Lauren Malvo is all like, you're causing problems over a pussy again.

Oh, yeah. It's kind of a great line because the implication there is again. And I was like, oh, man, I just want this father's son Malvo Texas drama Let's do the prequel man Yeah boy get in this house God damn it The entourage prequel

Count me out But basically He loses his job from the studio But like gets points on the movie Right Like that's kind of his He takes the Jack Nicholson way out And he's baby girl gets born

And that actually stops drama From suicide because he drives there And Entourage R a drive drive as well. And Pierce Morgan breaks the news because Pierce Morgan has to weasel his fucking face in this movie again. Why on earth? Just bringing it back. Man, you know, God, Pierce Morgan, dude. And the fucking Stone's on E. This girl is in fucking labor. Her first child, it's a dicey situation. Yeah, it's coming fast. What does he do? He spits on her?

Almost. She's like, he's like, come on take me back, bro. And she's like, I can't, blah, blah, blah. because you fucked my mom. And he's like, look, if we're going to do this thing and I'm a nice guy and you're in labor, you got to forget all that shit. And it's like, well, he's a nice guy. He just said it. Yeah, it's true. He went to the Lamas class and while there threatened Chad Lowe for making faces at her.

Sure, that's what nice guys do. And like, he has a woman, which I would hate to be a woman born in the entourage universe. Oh, my God. That's a dark timeline. bro you didn't have a son oh shit bro entourage over entourage volume two ain't happening and like he actually goes like she they get back together she has a kid and then the boys all get in the car including

E and drive off like four like maybe an hour later and I'm like too I'll have fun raising it yeah it's just like that's not like you see dads like it's a 30 hour and you know in the delivery room and blah blah blah they look like shit after 12 and like all that stuff like he's like oh yeah yeah Vince doing the movie bro

I gotta go drink some turtles tequila to celebrate so at this point we're just cutting to the golden globes right oh man hey why not we were going to cut to the Oscars but we didn't get that license and Matt Lauer dude yikes there is not a celebrity

there's not a movie Matt Lauer will not be in no you ask Matt Lauer to be in Matt Lauer was almost in we are strangers just but he was this close to coming on not just for that factoid but that is disgusting that the fact that Matt Lauer will do anything and he's just running his ignorant mouth about how great this movie is and how it's how it's been uh it's gotten 40 450 million worldwide five nominations including best picture and johnny chase her best supporting actor. Know what a movie is. Know that there are prestige

movies that get nominees, nominations, and there are movies that actually make a ton of money. And like, never the Twain shall meet. No, Star Wars just comes out, it makes all the money, and nary an award to be found. Of course not. That's how it works. Yeah. It'll get a technical or whatever. Well, because Vinnie's involved, it's the perfect storm. And it's going to get everything. I mean, Titanic way back when, but that's a long time ago. Dark Night got a little bit of that

but not much. Just because the acting thing for a ledger, but am I missing something in the last 20 years? No. No best picture nominee ever made money. It wasn't Avatar Best Picturey, but that was But this is the garbage timeline where we can have like 10 best picture

nominees. Star Trek 2009 was one of them right? I don't know. I think it was nominated for Best Picture. I don't know about that. I mean, but you don't know about that? I don't know. Let's go to the internet, ticker. Lord of the Rings.

Lord of the Rings definitely was in that category, I guess. But, like, also, the other thing is, you know you're doing the Golden Globes. Find out what the Golden Globes call the rewards. Because it's, I was sitting there, like, wait a second. Was it motion picture drama or motion picture fucking comedy musical? Comedy musical, they'll shove anything in there. I'm looking at you, the Martian, the Tourist. Dude, the, like, what the, like, I get it.

Matt Damon is funny in that movie. That's not a comedy. No. That's, I mean, the Golden Globs, whatever. You know, I call him Damebot. He's one of my boys, bro. We'll go see Red Sox games. Danebot.

He doesn't like how one of the Pats games, though, bro. He's not a football fan. It's a little fucking weird. Guba loved football. I always go there. Are you pulling up nominees? Are you just pulling up Star Trek? He's just looking at Star Trek facts.

but so we have like this endless footage of we're cutting between them on a fake red carpet and just stock footage of celebrities on the red carpet you got George Clooney walking around Amy Adams shows up Amy Adams the redheaded girl from Spider-Man Yeah yeah yeah Emma Stone

Emma Stone she's there But it's all not there They're actually at the Golden Globes I was wrong I guess what was it district 9? District 9 was... Oh, yes. That's what it was. Anyway, they do ask... Matt Lauer or someone

asked Ari Gold, what is he going to do next now that he's conquered Hollywood? Right. And he says, oh, I might run a country next. I know some that could use me, you know? Man, cut to Ari Gold's head being used as a soccer ball in one of these fucking countries.

I would love it. That's what I want. He tried to tell off some, you know, Iraqi president or something. Speaking of a Lord of the Rings, the first ending of this movie. Yeah. You know, it's one thing because there's this, it's not a great shot, but it's a shot of

the boys. They just did the Matt Lauer interview. And we know that drama was nominated and he's like, yeah, that's great for me, bro. Victory. And like, they all walk into the Golden Globes and it fades to black and I'm like, that's the end of your movie. Like, you don't know who wins. It's fine that it was nominated. We know that

made all the money in the world that all of our favorite characters want. Yeah, it's the end, the end, end. Then we cut to Mark Wahlberg reading the fucking best supporting actor. Oh, when you said first of two

cameos, I forgot about this. I was like, what's he fucking talking about? And it's so stupid because he looks and he opens the envelope and he's like, fuck me, bro. And it's like, just bring on the belly laughs, everybody. No one does that at the Golden Globes.

And everyone kind of gas is like, Johnny Chase. Man, I'll tell you, who's not going to win? an Oscar. It's a Donnie Wahlberg. It's a fantasy. It's like Guba coming back from the dead of the Herkiloids getting back

together. And he gets up there and oh man, Mark Wahlberg with another stupid line. Like his drama's like all got stage fright and he doesn't really know what to say. And he's like bro, you can fuck it later. Talk now. And I'm like,

oh. He says two fucks in like 30 seconds on live television. Right. And then Johnny drama goes, victory! And everyone goes, woof, woof, woof, woof. And throws all the bones at him and he eats them. So that's ending too.

It's like drama won a golden globe. So this is like Return of the King. Yeah. It's a bunch of endings. At this point, and then the credits literally start. And I'm like, oh, I was like kind of in a rush to get out of the house today. So I was like, done. And I went downstairs to get my sweater.

And then I hear wedding bells. And I'm like, oh, you've got to be kidding me. And I run upstairs. And it's Lloyd's fucking wedding that we forgot. Speaking of Star Trek, Sulu's given him out. George Taked. He's not given him out.

He's officiating the ceremony. Because he's an Asian gay man and I guess he has to be a part of this movie. He's also Hollywood royalty. You know, I wasn't that bummed to see George Taked here.

He's always a ray of sunshine, man. I'll take any check I could get, Captain. Oh, absolutely. I would also recommend. Beam it to my bank account. The George TK the George TK documentary. is that any good

yeah really it is I enjoyed it quite a bit it's I am Ticay or what was it I think it's being TK it's something like that it's TK's in the title I got you yes you you search to K for Netflix you're fine yeah it's it's totally entertaining

you like that movie I never saw okay thought we had a second opinion he seemed like an expert no it's just he's a big George TK fan but it's totally enjoyable unlike the entourage unlike the scene that just kind of happens and then like this is when

we get everyone at Lloyd's wedding and Billy Walsh is like oh wouldn't it be funny if this was a movie slash TV show and that's how we end our thing Rhonda Rousey's there again. We end our movie with a freeze frame product

of flash photography fade to black. Nice. Because they're getting the wedding pictures and it's like everybody get in here. What if it was a TV show? Camera flash. It'd be great if at the end of this movie it's Ronda Rousey giving all the boys' medals

except for except for drama because he's kind of a dog and kind of Chewbacca and drama's like victory I would like a cut into the future

like like 2058 and it's like a shot of their mass grave because they demanded to be buried together in a car they were all buried together in a car

in a Cadillac car by the way a lot of money with them suicide doors bro yeah oh yeah yeah what if they did because we're you know this is an

HBO franchise what if they ripped off the ending of six feet under and we just flash forward to all of them dropping dead I would love that that would be fantastic oh my God oh god I'd love it right so drama is definitely suicide maybe not now but maybe it's like maybe he gets like a caradine oh yeah definitely definitely yeah I'm

thinking turtle goes down to like inspect his tequila operation in Mexico and the cartel just shoots him full oh yeah dude yeah exactly he definitely dies during sexual intercourse while cheating on Sloan. Yeah, well, he just has a big fatty Arbuckle heart attack and dies.

Or maybe he's like 100 years old. He's having sex with a 16-year-old girl. Right. He's a little fucking creep, and that puts him down. He's just some leathery old fucking Hollywood. Congratulations, Eve. I founded the Murphy Group, baby. Don't you want to be in a movie?

I worked with Vincent Jace. Oh, Gary Bist. Do you know what he was? He was a thing. Vinnie Chase is definitely a drug overdose. After he bottoms out of Hollywood, I feel. Piven's murdered by somebody. He says the wrong thing.

Maybe Lloyd? Maybe Lloyd? All the ultimate revenge, Lloyd kills him. It's a crime of passion. And then how does Lloyd go? Shot with a cannon? Shot with a cannon. I don't know.

We're running out of death scenarios. I think Lloyd dies in. a very cool barbarian invasions kind of thing he's in a cabin in Canada what our reference he's in a cabin he's like laying down and all of his friends quietly say goodbye to him and he dies

I'd love it that's great oh man would anyone recommend this non-movie no it's not a movie I mean like it's I get it if you're a fan of this show whatever maybe this did it for you it's almost too private to be released

wide. You should have had to sign up on a mailing list that was like proving you own all eight seasons on DVD. And then they mail you another DVD of this movie. And that's how you watch the entourage movie. This is definitely like a special feature. That's it. Like I would say no. You know, unless you're a massacist. Yeah. I mean, I give this movie points for somehow, shockingly not being over two hours long. It's over 90, which fuck you, but yeah, you're right. It's under two hours in the age of the new law of two hours and 34 minutes. Yeah, I mean, I was really getting bummed, like, starting this late last night.

Like, fuck, I got to watch this entourage movie. And then I turn it on. I was like, oh, all right, 104 minutes. I can deal with this. And Thanos does not show up to steal R.E. Gold's Infinity Stone. No, but I thought was weird. I did flash fast forward to the end. because I figured a movie this dumb

had to have some jerk off fart noise, vomit sound gag at the end of it. But it's nothing. The movie does end the first time with the Puff Daddy song Bad Boys from like Mace. Mace, I apologize.

Oh yeah, dude. M.A. dollar sign E. I forgot because that song's 20 years old. It just shows the relevance of this franchise that you would end with that movie. The sensibilities. This is early 2000s nonsense. Yes.

All of this. All of this. But somehow this is supposed to take place in 2015. Somehow. Or 2014 or some shit. Is it not a period piece? I didn't think so. Maybe it is.

I don't know. That's why Daniel DeLewis wasn't in it. That's the one reason. That's the entourage movie from, of course, 2015, directed by Doug Ellen. It's the first of our worst of 2015. Under the Wire, going to let you know. John Favreau is in this movie Cameo. He's looking bigger than ever, but

let's get to the end of the show. I'm glad you snuck in a dig at John Favro's weight before we called credits on this movie. By saying he looks, quote, bigger than ever. No, no. He's a fine actor and director. I just, it fluctuates.

I was surprised to see him in this movie and I didn't recognize him for half a second. I'm the same way. Like, you never know with Favro. He's either like cut from marble Or, well, I think he made that chef movie And he was eating all that food Yeah, you know, either way, Favs, you're gorgeous We love Favreau. Don't worry about Favreau.

John Favreau's doing just fine. Well, don't say that. No, not the WHM curse. No, he's not doing fine. He's terrible. All right, let's move along. He'll live a good life now. Check out more episodes of our show at WHMpodcast.com.

Do not worry about Piers Morgan. Oh, no. Yeah, I'm fine with that. Or over at sideshownetwork.tv, like us on Facebook, and follow us on Twitter. We're at WHM Podcast. What were some of your worst films of 2015 right into the mailbag? We all hate movies at gmail.com. Now, next week, Steve, we have a movie that you and I have seen already.

Eric has not seen it at the time of this recording, that it is pretty stupid. It's what you call barely a movie, and you're going to say you're being surprised. It's called Russell Madness? Oh, it sure is. It's a movie where a dog wrestles men. Yep. With John Ratsenberger is the only star to be found. Yep, which just, you know what?

For folks at home with your movie barometer, set it to John Ratsenberger is the only star of this movie. It's on Netflix so you can find it. Go give it a watch before the episode if you have the time. Oh, it's horse shit. Or dog shit, I guess I just said. shit. Russell Madness, I think a horse is in that movie. There's definitely a talking monkey. Oh, you bet you're bippy there is. I can't wait. So next week, Russell Madness, until then, I'm Andrew Jupin.

Eric Siska. Stephen Seda. And to take us out, please enjoy a new track from Rua. This is Change Your Mind. We'll see you next week. room when we shouldn't be getting high between the restroom walls under condi waiting for the semester to fall to fall to fall through to infinity because you and I can't decide they change our minds all the time between a billion and fire and suicide and suicide A deal with life We changed your minds We change your minds I'll change your mind

Change your mind We change your mind I'm stumbling To a middle of it I didn't in a movie theater with the money I made. Getting high between the restaurant walls and through the movie screen, collecting all my miscalls for eternity. Because you and I can't decide.

Change your minds all the time between a bill of fire. Suicide A dilify A suicide A suicide A belify suicide Change your mind

You change your minds You changed your mind Did you change your mind? Did you change your mind? Change your mind. Change your mind. Change your mind. Change your mind.

Change your mind. Thank you.