We Hate Movies - S6 Ep232: Russell Madness

Episode Date: January 12, 2016

On this week's episode, the gang continues their Worst of 2015 month with an off-brand family film, the wrestling dog epic, Russell Madness! How many dogs-doing-things movies will this same company make? Why doesn't this arena rent out to other events besides wrestling? And can this talking monkey live forever? PLUS: Creepy Frasier cosplay! Wait, what? Russell Madness stars John Ratzenberger, Mason Vale Cotton, Fred Willard, Mckenna Grace, Will Sasso, and Mac from Night Court himself, Charles Robinson; directed by Robert Vince. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies

Hello, I'm Andrew Jupin. Steven Seideh. Eric Siska. And we hate movies. Hello, everyone. Welcome to We Hate Movies on the Side Show Network. for tuning in, as always. We are rolling on with our worst of 2015 month.

The film in question this week, it's a little fluff piece called Russell Madness. It's directed by a fella named Robert Vince, whose credits include a whole lot of movies starring dogs and chimps. Your buddies, all those films, Snow Buddies? Space buddies. Space buddies. Spooky buddies, I think this is one of them, right?

Oh, ghost dogs? Way the Samurai. Save it for the spookacular. I will say also thank you for not tuning out. We don't say that enough when we air something called Russell Madness. Well, this is what I love, because now our new thing is like we're telling folks what

the episode will be the next week so all these people are watching movies and anticipation of the... Or unsubscribing from podcasts. Or unsubscribing from podcasts. Check it out what Ira Glass is up to this week. Like, hey, I don't know. That guy seems pretty good. I've kind of been loving all these people that are like, wait, what's

this movie. Fuck you. We hate movies. Yeah. You watched a movie about a wrestling dog. Gotcha. And this is also, you know, it's a Jack Russell Terrier, right? It is indeed. And wrestling, because they're running out of dogs and sports to connect the two. Because we've had, I mean, we had Air Bud. That was basketball. They did football. I know there's a soccer one. There's probably a baseball one. All of those are somewhat plausible for a dog to complete, right? Like, not the idea that a dog could compete in basketball? Like, probably not. But like, sure, he bounces his nose and maybe one out of a hundred times it goes to the basket. Sure. You can teach a dog to do a lot of things. You cannot teach a dog to wrestle a man to the ground.

Oh, not at all. Not a Jack Russell Terrier. You know it would be a great sport for a dog. Uh-huh. Cockfighting. Oh, he would have a great advantage. He would have a great advantage. He would have a great advantage. he'd be uh he'd win i would put my money on the dog wow that chickens looking weird it looks like a dog put him it is a pet smart rooster costume it's all it'll take that's the type of stuff that fools these these grown idiot characters in these movies they're like big weird babies as people it's weird it's like you watch these kinds of movies and no one is shocked as much as they should be that a dog is wrestling a man to the ground this dog starts talking to people

and they're like, what's that dog? All right. Whatever you say talking monkey in this movie? Who should I kill? Yeah, usually talk a dog leads to no good. Oh, sure. I think... Flashback to the Bronx 1970s.

Oh, my God. Seriously. Man, a new Cines-a-San movie called Bronx Buddies? Yeah. We'll get the director of Russell Madness to make it. It's like a whimsical Berkowitz. Yeah. Hey, I don't know, fellas. I think this is just a little too dark

A subject matter for the Buddies franchise. I don't know why the buddies are hanging out in the Bronx talking about Italian. About killing beautiful Italian girls. I don't know, y'all. I don't know. They're not Southern at all. The buddies are probably

Los Angeles scumbags, right? That whole corporation? You mean the Arab? The butt? What is? It's like a Buddy's Entertainment Company That puts these out. Airbud Entertainment. I can guarantee you

their Los Angeles scumb bands. Oh, yeah. Most people that make movies, I think, are... Yeah, total scum. Yeah. You know, it'd be fucking cute. A dog wrestling and a man.

Yeah, that'd be cool. Oh. I like the action on that. Oh, yeah. Get that dog in the ring. Yeah. Family friendly, if you know, I mean. I mean, really, no, family-friendly. I know I talk like the devil, but the movies have to be sweet as pie, as sweet as sticky pie. Oh, see, I did it again. I'm so sorry. I'm just inherently sounding like a scumbag. Come sit on Santa's lap and tell them what you want. I mean, no, really, I'm dressed like Santa Claus little girl. I got a bunch of toys in this bag. It's the company, it's the, it's the, it's the, it's the airbus.

Productions Christmas party. It's the middle of January. It's always Christmas with the Airbus company. It's cheaper to have Christmas in January. That's true. Yeah, it is.

Everything's 50% off. Can I just make maybe a rule for the episode, if we may? I think it's important to think about. Let's, because this does take place as Eric talks about in a baby world for babies. But let's just pretend that it's a real world environment because there's no

magic, there's no actual magic in this movie. No spells are cast. There's no wizard or anything like that. So this could conceivably be happening right now. Right. Yeah, I mean, we kick movies around. We have fun with them. They're jumping off points for a pleasant conversation. The lost art of conversation, if you will. Oh yeah,

with these millennials, you can look at their phones. Yeah, no, here we're artisans. Crafting convos. Just using the magic of words to spin a tail. And we're having, yeah, we're just having fun with it, spinning a tail. And if you want to show this to your babies, show

it to your babies. But you know we're looking at it in a weird, older, cynical, artful way. Also, if you want to make your kids fucking stupid, show it to your babies. This is my problem with this shit. This is fucking subpar

family entertainment. This is like, hey, you know what America? You're just a bunch of big, fat morons and you'll watch anything. So, produce this nothing fucking dog wrestler movie and we're going to buy it and you're going to stream it on Netflix like a bunch of fat fucking pigs. I know we're a family company but you just got me hard right now.

This movie takes place around a dog that is in a kind of big box pet store it seems like. Yeah, it's a big pets arrest kind of whatever. And he's got problems getting adopted and... What's his main... What's his main hiccup when he's about to get a adopted steve oh he pees all over you oh yeah that's my favorite part of the script i think it's pretty creative how that dog keeps peeing on people's mouths you get to see pee arcing into a gentleman's

mouth you get to see several gentlemen a young child get peed all over his face equal opportunity pee or this puppy i had to double check uh the uh the internet there was like this is this an r kelly movies I don't want to watch that. Dude, wouldn't it be great if R. Kelly was a silent partner at Airbutt Entertainment? I wouldn't be surprised. Yeah, you got to have more dogs or people peeing on things in this script. You know, everybody's got their other business interests. Arkelly knows that those residuals won't last forever.

Getting some family film and, oh, you know, it would be funny. Somebody pissing on something. Yeah. Oh, man. So, yeah, this dog cannot get adopted because it keeps peaking. He winds up, I mean, really what happens is he winds up going with a family that is a family of wrestlers, I guess we'll get into whatever that could mean. And he starts wrestling in a low-run indie circuit that just so happens in this town. There's also the WWF-esque W-U-L.

Sure. W.W. Dat. Run by John Ratsenberger, who's like a Vincent McMahon stand-in. And a budget should have. But a dog, the important thing about this movie is wrestling is real, right? Wrestling is real in this world. Which is so stupid because if you're going to have a Jack Russell Terrier be involved in professional wrestling, it'd be a lot more easy to swallow if we understand that wrestling is fake. Right.

Like this dog is going to get the belt because it's fake. Yes. Not this dog bested a giant physically by putting a giant in a chokehold. And it's like culture perpetrating this lie on our children. Yes. That's like we have to, no, no, wrestling is real. Now, you guys, huge wrestling fans. Oh, yeah, the biggest.

The biggest in the biz. Sure. You both of you, apparently, correct me from wrong. Came to this movie separate of each other and both watched it somehow. Yeah. Yes. Yeah, that's right. This is like, Your Honor, that's correct.

That is how I remember it to the best of my knowledge. Thank you. Yeah, I'm going to keep the rest of my answers in this questioning to one or two word sentences. You can plead the fifth if you want. No, no, I did see this movie on my own. That's why Andrew and I both separately independently saw this film. And I couldn't believe it. Well, you know.

Is it just the wrestling interest? No, it was the, it was, oh, what's that say Netflix description? a rasslin dog, this might be good show fodder. Okay. And that was your as well? No, I actually... Oh, my goodness. No, I...

Five to ten years. Thank God I'm coming out on top with this. No, this is... I mean, like, yes, to Andrew's point, yes, it was show fodder. But at the same time, when we were in Boston, you're going to get those hotel TV channels that'll, like, run a bunch of previews over and over again. And the preview for Russell Bandness kept...

coming on. And I'm like, what? Really? And you never told anyone? I did. I think I did tell you guys afterwards. Really? And I was just like, shut up.

Yeah, I think you probably just said shut up. And I was like, oh, man, how is that dog going to wrestle a dude? And I really was like, how are they going to get out of that pickle? And I needed to solve the question. Okay. I guess that all makes sense. It all checks out. Also, I'm a loser.

Okay. Then it was curious. I'm a loser. I just could. I mean, when we watch. I watched it, you know, because I made my wife sit through this. Yeah, I didn't watch it alone. It's grounds for divorce.

Bring a friend. Yeah. Well, no, you bring a buddy. You need a buddy with this one. You can't be watching this by yourself as a grown man. That's just weird. That's just an invitation to open your wrist. Well, I did that this afternoon because I had to rewatch it so many months ago because

I was first to the party there. Yeah. No alcohol in sight. A cup of coffee. coffee and a disinterested cat. That was my afternoon. Are there cat buddy movies? I don't know.

Not that I've ever heard of or seen. I don't think so because you can't like train cats to do this dumb shit that you can make a dog do. Yeah, that's why cats are better. I forgot. They have dignity. Yeah, that's true. They won't wrestle a man. Like I'm sure that cat voiced by Sally Field in those Homeward Bound movies, they

probably went through like nine of those things oh yeah dumb things kept running out into the street getting hit by fucking cars what cats cats oh my goodness what do you see more of dead in the street a cat or a dog cat every time where are you living with your streets are littered with dead cat dude you drive all up through the countryside you're seeing dead cats everywhere well it's because cats survive on their own as well you know you don't really not too well if they're getting hit by all these fucking cars a circle of life now

dogs are coddled and brought in from the cold and oh Ooh, dog. Now, dog, can't do anything out there on its own. Not even die. You can't even die on its own. Incorrect. Dogs are very good professional wrestlers. They're very good at doing backflips, jumping into turnbuckles, and administering chokeholds, which is scientifically impossible. But they have to be, it's not an instinctual. It has to be taught by either a man or a monkey. I will refer you to We Hate Movies Episode 3, The Pack.

Look what happened in that movie. That's Survival of the Finest right there. Oh, yeah, a bunch of dogs take over an island. You're right. And molest to Joe Don Baker. We should make that movie again. Get the buddies involved in that. Oh, yeah.

The buddies bite back. Actually, movie recommendation, White God. Did you guys see this movie? I haven't seen it yet again. Oh, no, is that anything like White Dog? No, not the Sam Fuller. Not the Sam Fuller movie, which is also awesome. But this movie, it's, I believe, Hungarian.

And it's basically Planet of the Apes with dogs. Oh, wow. Oh, it's fucking awesome. I've seen the trailer a bunch. And, like, it's always like, I don't know if I'm in the mood because I know some dogs are definitely probably getting their heads cut off or something. No, no, no dogs get in their head cut off. Well, now I'm out. There's a dog fighting, like, sequence, you know, but like.

But are they, like, riding horses and stuff? They don't get that. far that might be for White God too I think it does end with a dog going no you're making me reconsider my previous notion I mean maybe dogs will run the show or at least werewolves

all right so back to the fucking dog wrestling our dog whose name is Russell who this dog nice name by the way yeah Russell for Jackro that's like what you get I don't know B1 496 like I don't know call him Russell because it's a Jack Russell

and it also sort of sounds like Russell. Well, that's why. God, that's stupid. Because we, like, this movie is called Russell Madness, but guaranteed the original script for this movie. It was called Russell Mania, and Vince McMahon slapped a fucking, you're getting

too close lawsuit on him. Yeah, I bet, right? It would have to be. Or the estate of Ken Russell. Probably not that. It would be... Fringing upon the rights of Listomania. It would be awesome if that was the reason. Yeah, I wish.

No, that must suck because somebody was probably making a documentary about the making of this movie? No, about Ken Russell and they were going to call it Russell Madness and then this dog movie comes out.

He's like, well, I guess I'll just throw this really interesting documentary in the garbage. You beat me to it, dog movie. You don't want to be Russell Madness parentheses too. On IMDB? Yeah, you definitely don't because parentheses

not the wrestling dog movie. about a great actually about a great filmmaker that you don't hear too much of. Yeah, yeah. Can we talk about this dipshit family that's in this movie? Yeah.

And this fucking father, this loser of a man, this subhuman. So they go to this old abandoned, I imagine haunted arena. I was bummed there's no paranormal activity in this movie. Oh, maybe that's what's getting the dog to wrestle.

Maybe just some fun ghost is picking it up. I'd be like, look, it looks like it's wrestling. That would make so much more sense. It'd be great. It'd be like a great tag team and the ghost could like become corporeal for the last fight. Man, you know you're in trouble. That's what makes sense. That's true.

Okay, because let's get it. Okay, the monkey. All right. That monkey, now we're talking about this arena. Also, very weird that it's a wrestling arena only. Yes. No other events go on there. No.

No boxing. No picture shows. Nothing. Especially no picture shows. This guy and his family's got a wife and two kids, a boy and a girl. He inherits from his father a old abandoned wrestling arena that hasn't been used in years and years and years. To Eric's point, nothing else could be. And this looks like prime location, too.

I think this movie takes place in like San Francisco. It's Portland, actually. Oh, it's Portland? I mean, so still. Oregon or Maine? They don't specify. Either way, this is a couple million dollar property. It's prime real estate that would have either been renovated or demolished.

and turned into condos at this point. Right. So it was actually in operation by his grandfather. Yes. Who was an old Italian with a wily mustache. And this monkey by his side running the show. And now this monkey is still alive now. He's at least 58 years old.

But I think that's... Don't monkeys live for like a weird long time? Like Chubacca? I don't think he got like 300-year-old monkeys running around but like I think monkeys can live like 80 years that's why like you ever see that's why we're so close to them right yeah I think so well anytime you see like some fucking idiot that's like I have a monkey as a pet it's like a lifelong buddy that monkey's gonna outlive you motherfucker like you're gonna drop dead and that monkey's gonna eat you well that monkey's gonna rip your face off before

you drop dead in case you're wonder yeah because their hands are so strong like that's the that's it right it's just their hands are like vices that's how I wanted friends to end is they cut like 40 years into the future and David Schwimmer drops dead and then Marcel the monkey's just fucking eating the skin off his face. He had a pet monkey in that show for a little while.

Marcel and then oh man my wife's a lesbian but I have a monkey that program wow I never thought I missed anything by not watching friends but now I think I did he had a monkey for a while and it wreaked havoc I think there was an episode where he did eventually have to give him away it was heartbreaking

To chart quality episodes of friends If there's a monkey in that episode You're doing okay If you're at home There's a rerun you're like I don't know if I want to watch this one And then the monkey shows up Stick around

So it's about like now Half of the episodes have monkeys Different monkeys Eventually early on in the show's run Like I'm remembering this I think Like he does have to give it up But then there's a duck as well Everyone's got cute pets

The chick in the duck Yeah they were classic characters Matt Leblanc Do a movie with a monkey Yeah, it's called Ed. Yes, he did. It's a possible stay tuned. So this monkey is a little capuchin monkey, who, to Eric's point, was, I guess, I think he said, I agree.

He might be immortal. I'm not sure. Either way, he's got attitude. He does have attitude. And he's kind of, he's been haunting this abandoned wrestling arena for about 30 years. That's the best part of it is this monkey has been living alone in this haunted wrestling arena. And there is your next. Netflix TV show.

And he's talking to an action figure like Wilson. He's got this action figure of one of the wrestlers. I think his name is The Maniac, actually. And like, even though it's like weird local wrestling, so why would there be an action figure of that wrestler? Let's put that aside. But he's got it and he's like, hey buddy, what are we

going to do today? Oh man, my family's coming today. Guess I'll just fuck you like I do every day action figure. And then apparently launder his monkey clothes. Because he's got quite a wardrobe. He does.

Dude, this monkey has more shirts than I do. More hats, too. Oh, yeah, a lot of hats this monkey's wearing. Also, let's just get this out of the way. I think this monkey is a Nazi sympathizer. Sure. I think he is. Well, if we saw anything from Raiders of the Lost Ark.

Yeah, that's true. Same kind of monkey. Monkeys are notorious for siding with the Nazis. Do you think John Reese Davies walks around with a bunch of of poison dates just in case he runs afoul of a bad monkey again or a moose lamb that he has to take care of oh no indy it's a monkey with a moose lamb what what a nice Moroccan restaurant why don't you have some of my dates he kills everyone inside yeah i could see it happening no no no no these are good dates you should use these instead of the ones you're using by the way i brought this up because this monkey is

fucking hiling all throughout this movie. It's a weird thing. Like, you know, animals especially, like monkeys and dogs, whatever, like actors in the biz have certain tricks. Like, some of them, like, dogs specifically will, like, put their face down. You'll have you. Put your face down and put the paw over the dog. The paw over the snout. Classic dog maneuver. You'll get a jumping dog.

Like, not every dog could do everything. Not every monkey can do everything. You get a rassling dog. That's rare. This monkey has two moves. One of them is, like, touching his chest for emphasis. And the other one is, like, literally sticking his hand out to salute the furor. It's a total fucking sing-hile, dude. That's my only two acting moves, too.

Yeah, that's right. That's why I'm not in the movie, guys. People asking on Twitter. We just, you did a screen test, but you just kept fucking Nazi saluting and there's no place for it. I thought it would work. Oh, they'll find a way to put

this in. Oh, here's something I have over everybody else. It's my height. And this guy, He's a very bizarre thing. And he'll just be talking and like, obviously the actor is limited. So they have to like, he's like, well, what are you looking at? He's like, Heil Hitler. It's very, very weird.

Well, we'll have some screen caps because it happens so many times in this movie. My God, it's every scene that this monkey's in, which I think this monkey has the most dialogue in the movie. A monkey, the biggest star in the film, actually, I think. He's voiced by Will Sassau. Yeah, that's what I mean. That's kind of the most bankable. So much dialogue between this monkey and a dog backstage. I thought I was watching Steve Jobs.

Anyone watch Steve Jobs yet? Yeah, it's all behind the scenes with animals talking. Yeah, it's like a tense conversation between an ape and a dog. Played by Jeff Daniels. A lot of walking and talking. We did more sorkin-esque sweeps of like walking through. Yeah. The, handing papers.

Oh, that, like the monkey needs a new shirt before it talks to the wrestling audience or something. Before it gives its big presentation. Yeah. Just go find someone's shirt and bring it to me. And it's friend Seth Rogan, the gorilla. Yes. Also, this dog is voiced by the kid who plays like the younger brother on that putrid show, The Goldbergs. Oh, yeah.

That's somehow that thing's still fucking farting around on ABC. People, I haven't seen it at all. Yeah. And it looks wretched. It looks fucking wretched. Apparently people like it. Yeah, I don't know. America's okay with it.

People love gags with Jeff Garland not fitting into shirts or whatever's going on in the Goldbergs. All right. I'm laughing. Well, it's also weird because this dog act, this kid has like a real Chicago accent the whole movie. And I'm like, where did this little puppy get born? And then he meets a bulldog and the gag is, he's a British bulldog. so he's got a British accent. Did this dog come from the mother country?

Pick up that accent? This British accent on this dog named Dozer, by the way. I was like, is that Ricky Jervis? No, it couldn't be. It kind of sounds like it. It's a little bit. I mean, we lost a thread here. So basically they come in.

There's no thread to this movie. It's a dog movie. The dad is like, oh, I used to grow up here. And then there's like some bad flashbacks. And then apparently at some point, John Ratzenberger starts up what is a WDF surrogate

like down the road which makes this place go out of business and like oh this was a family business it's not a corporate blah buty blah it's not like you were running a fucking barber's shop

yes it's a wrestling thing and I mean the whole thing is like you know Vince McMahon and like I think it was like his father that actually started WWF and it like got huge and like all the wrestlers

went from wherever and joined this thing and that's just what it was And, like, that's what this movie's doing, but it's with John Ratsenberger as Vince McMahon, and it's fucking ridiculous. He kind of looks like an aging Rick Flair. He kind of does.

He has a Rick Flair hair cut. Yeah, for sure. Yeah. But it's also this weird, like, like, if you were to make a bad, like, James Bond parody, he would also be the villain because he's got, like, black and silver hair all over. It looks like a badger come to life.

How's that for your... Maybe he's plain one. That's true. I didn't double-check the credits. Maybe it's so-and-so the badger. But, like, the whole idea, like, this movie wants you to lament, like, mom and pop wrestling things. Like, fucking shut up. And that's the other...

But that's the other thing, too, though. If wrestling is real, which this movie explicitly tells you it is... Correct. This is a fight club. This is an underground ring. And if wrestling is real, wrestling is fucking brutal. Right? Right, yeah.

It's people hitting each other over the head with chairs, slamming each other. there's heads into the turnbuckle like if that's real being next to each other that's sweaty that's tough shit and like that's not like a family fun business like people will be bleeding and like you know really i mean like like they do in real wrestling anyway but like oh yeah but like i'm sure guys put down the email we know all about the backyard wrestling man those guys that get in the backyard dude backyard wrestling if you ever need a barometer of how your life is going figure out whether or not you currently participate in backyard wrestling and then go home and rethink a couple things fucking backyard wrestling you are a shower away from bumfights

you're not wrong I will say another thing to you about this film if you are back calling it a film by the way it is a film look at you uh if if you are backyard wrestling dogs can't wrestle don't be like no I saw it that Russell madness. Come here, scooter and like pile drive your dog through a table. Because that fucking dog's going to die. Oh, that dog will be dead instantly. And then you're going to jail. Jail?

Well, you're getting a $50 fine, but you should be going to jail. No, folks at home, backyard wrestle with dogs. And then litter the landscape with their corpses so that Andrew might see one. Even the playing field a little bit. Until then, I'll keep running over.

these dipshit cats that come out in front of me. There's no there's a total drop thread wherein the son the dad or whatever that the guy has to turn around this turn a profit within a year and then he

gets to sell it but until then he can't well he's trying to flip it which is the move because it's a couple of million dollars also it's like why are you trying it's like now in real life if you were like oh I inherited those rass wrestling theater and you're like maybe somewhere I can start turning a profit and fucking

beating the WWE at their own game or maybe I could have a concert here or it could just be a multi-purpose venue exactly aside for the monkey how many hobos are jerking off in this place you think oh countless yeah and just pissing and shit and everywhere and that's something they don't address at all there's got to be some homeless guy who's been living in there you know since the Clinton administration you're not going to kick me out You get out of my wrestling theater. You ain't going to show movies in here. It's for wrestling only.

Come here, monkey. Let's show him a match. There's actually no monkey at all. This guy's crazy delusion. And then this guy, that's the guy they get to be a wrestler, right? Yeah, oh, yeah. Stabble. Stabble.

I'll do it for some rum. it's a rum match my god it's a rum match oh this is no better than a bum fight king this is worse than backyard wrestling there it comes bum rummy so I mean like basically Russell Madness runs a foul of On you! Woo! Sorry

Oh wow He's doing the Bacardi Slammer Look out I mean I don't even like they the dad's like all right I'm going to throw a match by the way anyone notice who the son is in this movie he's the longest running Bobby Draper on

Mad Men oh yeah I had no idea they had like nine of them fuckers but he was the one that held the title the longest he held the Bobby Draper belt and which sucks because like

he's actually pretty good on that show like he's a good kid actor and then you see him in this movie and it's just like yay you're like oh Bobby Draper that's unfortunate it is well he has my favorite the most quintessential Bobby Draper line

which is I think it's like in the last season and he's just sitting down at Sally and he's just talking about like when mom and dad fight all the time he's like it just makes my stomach hurt it's like oh man Bobby we've been there you're gonna be talking to a dude while laying on a couch

about this in 20 years or the time Betty makes him like he he trades her sandwich for like a thing of candy and she makes him eat it and she's like that was my lunch I'll starve for the rest of the day I'm like man someone's going to step

on your balls at some point dude it's just not what man I'm glad that character had fucking weeks to live by the end of that show she was a she was a queen what does that mean I don't know what that means what I love is that so this idiot father is like all right I guess we'll try to do this because the whole

family by the way the other thing is there's some prequel story to this movie, wherein this dad was like some workaholic madman-esque character. In San Diego. Yeah, and the wife is like, okay, this is a fresh start dedicating more to family, blah, blah, blah.

And a lot more to wrestling. Well, that's the thing is everybody but the father is like, yay, wrestling business. And he's like, yay, flipping it and fucking selling this huge property for millions of dollars. Yes. Like, you want dad to be home and not working. Let's sell this thing for scraps and get out of town. Monkey and all, by the way.

Oh, you demo the whole thing. I bet they owe a lot in back taxes. Oh, yeah. Just sitting there for years. Yeah, no. This guy's going to jail, maybe. Debtors prison. Trump's debtor's prison?

It's coming back, baby. I'll see you on C Block. If debtor's prison comes back, Steve Zanke's getting the debtor's death penalty. He's a debtor. But so they're like, all right, let's just throw a match. And they have a match. And it's like, they get somebody off a Craigslist, by the way.

The mom's like, oh, I know. Craigslist. Oh, yeah. Wrestling on Craigslist. And I'm like, all right. Oh, yeah. Search wrestling on Craigslist. There's got to be a joke in there, even though it's a kid's movie where she's like, oh.

You know, like it just looks at a response. Oh, I already got a response. Oh, like a nice Craigslist joke. I would appreciate it that. Yeah. Because, dude, the best family movies leave jokes for the adults as well. And also teach your kids. Don't just go on Craigslist and try and find your dreams.

Yeah, because now I saw Russell Madness and I want a buddy like this dog. Maybe I'll go on Craigslist, take some pictures. Yep. Put up a wrestling advert. Let's see what happens. Be like, you know, wholesome, blonde gentleman wants a buddy to wrestle. See what happens All right

Cut to You cut up In a bunch of bags In a dumpster somewhere Right Or a ditch And it ditched most definitely I would prefer the ditch

To the garbage My biggest question About this first match And I guess every match That happens in this arena Is They have like Kind of a crowd

Not a lot But there's people there Sure Who are these losers Well one's like Some old It just seems like a bunch of degenerates

That had nothing better It's like an old man that's like kind of sassy. I think that guy's been waiting for the theater to reopen for 20 years. He's been sleeping under the stairs. And he's like, oh, I guess the lights went on. Oh, they finally reopened.

I knew it would happen. And pretty soon they'll turn the water back on. Get a nice band. But then, all right, so the staff that they hire. Can we talk about how sad this staff is? Man, fucking Fred Willard, man. You jerk off in one movie theater And all of a sudden

He's not, look, he's not a... You're no longer playing the president in a Pixar movie. No, you are certainly not. I mean, it's sad. I just feel like Fred Willard's a guy that didn't know how to use porn on the internet. Oh, not at all. No.

He just was like, you know what? Let me just do the old ways. Yeah, I'm sure he did this so much back in the day, and everyone did. Sure. You know, you're seeing an adult movie in a theater. What do you... I mean, that's what you're there for.

Yeah. I think it's like an understood rule. That's what's going on. It's not like he was jerking off in the park. Yeah, exactly. Well, I also feel like somebody's like, oh, grandpa, you know, you can get porn on the internet. And I was like, porn on the internet. I don't want to get a virus.

Because some fucking porno theater is jerking off on a musty old couch. But he has. I mean, I... To four hobos. I stopped watching it, but he had a semi-recurring role on modern family. Yeah, I mean, people have forgotten. But, I mean, it did set his career down a few rungs Where he's doing this shite

And he's great in general Like he's had fun And he's great performances It's him and the other guy from Nightcourt It's Mac from Nightcourt And that is the sadder of the two All these ghosts they get in this thing Like, come on, the Cheers guy?

Yeah, Ratsenberger alone But I don't understand what Ratsenberger's doing In this movie He's in all those Pixar movies He's got those cheers residuals Why get out of bed, Johnny? I know. You're good to go.

Why dye your hair for this ridiculous performance? Do you think that these L.A. scumbags behind Bodies Entertainment are air buddies. Oh, yes. I heard my name. We're big fans of the old NBC lineups. We're like to throw bones at people. Oh, I was haunting those halls back in them days. I got dirt on the lot of them. Oh, yeah, they'll be in the movie.

Oh, you know what? You know who we could get? Ratzenberger. No why? Because I know what Ratsenberger likes. Hey Ratsenberger. Yep. You're doing my dog wrestling movie.

Oh, you know who else we could get? We could get Mac from Nightcourt. And if Mac from Nightcourt even bothers to ask. Ask why. Just tell him April 19th, 1989. He'll know what we're talking about. And I bet you he goes as white as a ghost.

Yeah, he'll say yes right after he shits his pants. Because let me tell you, what a day. I can see the TMZ headline. Who? Oh, and Fred Willard. They cover it up, but I know. You know the truth, here's the truth of the matter. He was jerking off to a snuff film.

Oh, man. Oh, yeah. They cleaned it up for the press. Yeah, yeah. He'll talk to a dog. Keep that little cherry uncovered. I mean covered. I swear it'll be covered.

Just talk to the fucking dog. Be in the movie. So they have this match. And, like, the dog runs in accidentally is the idea. Basically, it's they get people off Craigslist. One is, like, a surfer dude wrestler. And, again, since wrestling is real, I think all these people are actually, like, just this way.

Like, they're not characters. Which is weird. What do you mean they're not? Well, I mean, like, wrestlers have, like, fake personas, you know? But, like, in this world, wrestling is real. And, like, you're actually competing for something. And this is, like, an actual surfer wrestler. The other guy's an actual convicts.

They're like, oh, he's from the Penn State. No, I think that means state pen. Yeah, that's, you know what that is? A classic Fred Willard reversal gag. Vic Weiss, oh, kill me. Who's crushing cinderblocks with his hands? Sure. Who gets bested by a dog.

Is it the Jack Russell Carrier? By the way, the good dog acting in this film. Such that it is. The one thing that was confusing me is, like, Probably the highest acclaim of a dog actor Is this dog is running with a sausage in its mouth And he's not eating it How on earth do you train a dog not to eat a sauce

Because it's a fake sausage You think it's a fake sausage? Yeah, probably Or there's some type of poison on there Better not eat this dog There's poison on it Sala got to it Bad dates

Bad dogs Why isn't John Reese Davies in this movie? That is a great question Because it's possible that Robert Vince practices Islam. Maybe that's, well, no, he added himself as being a racist. I was going to say, the scumbags might have blew his cover, but no, he was pretty adamant about it. We were going to ruin John Reese Davies,

but he just ruined it for himself. Took himself out the coward. Wouldn't talk to a dog, decided to go public on his own. So this dog runs in The surfer dude gets knocked out or whatever By Vic Weiss and Vic Weiss is a big baddie Who's dressed like a pop-up Like if a Popeye character went to jail

That's what you'd wear Like the stripes and the little hat and everything What's weird is the way they're conducting this match And to Eric's point earlier in the episode Yeah Steve and I have watched a lot of wrestling Sure And what never really happens

That I've seen in professional wrestling ever Is a wrestler wins a match and then just stands there waiting for someone else to challenge him because that's what happens like he beats this surfer dude and the surfer dude like kind of gets scared

and he's like fuck this and just like leaves and then this Vic Weiss is just standing in the ring and Fred Willard and poor Mac from Nightcourt are forced to vamp and Fred Willard's like I don't know is someone else gonna challenge this guy and like the old man is like I'll fight him and starts like taking his shirt off And I'm like, just ring the bell.

This dumb, silly little event that you put on is over with. That's why you have multiple fights in a man. You know, just say, well, we'll have the two of them fight for an hour and a half. Yeah, exactly. But so the dog comes in and he's like, I'll fight a dog, which doesn't make any sense. But he totally says it. He's this dude. And that's another thing about this movie.

Every grown man in this movie is willing to wrestle a tiny dog. I will fight this tiny dog if it means. means, well, no, there's no belt on the line ever. I was going to say if it means winning the belt, but no one's winning a belt. You could turn the dog into a belt. You just skin that thing right there after you beat it. The dog wins the match by putting Vic Weiss in a chokehold. But what I mean is he, a dog puppet is on the back of this guy's neck.

Like Luke Skywalker. The insult comic dog is on the back of his neck. Dude, it's like Luke Skywalker carrying Yoda on his back. during training. And the dog's like arms somehow get really, really long to fit around this beefy guy's neck. That was the most disgusting part of it. I was like, did this dog's arms just like Mr. Fantastic around this beefcake? And like, first of all, dogs don't have biceps.

You know what I mean? Like, there's no way. They do now. What you need to be a dog, to put somebody in a chokehold is a bicep and a fucking elbow, which dogs do not have. There should have been like a scene where he's like he's, like he's, peeing on everyone and like he gets he pees on the wrong guy and he chucks him and do a vat of toxic waste. Dude, you're right. And he gets superpowers. You're totally right. We need toxic waste. We need a

fucking magic meteor. We need some sort of hoo-ha to make this dog be a wrestler. And he chokes this guy out and then pins him. And the guy, the ref is just like one, two, three, that's it. And here's Here's a big... We have a new champion. It's a tiny dog. Here's a big logistical beef I have with this. Oh, really? I know a logistical beef with the film.

Yeah. Every time someone gets pinned in this movie, 90% of which is by a dog, everyone's getting pinned fucking stomach down. Yeah. And that's not how you pin somebody. That asshole's got to be on his back. Oh, you roll him around, right?

Yeah, you got to roll him around. Get him on the back. Well, I do think you probably do give the dog some leeway. Like, well, he got to go. He got him down. If the dog went that far, if he's standing on him, I think this means he means to be in him. The dog is as good as we're going to get. Trying to turn the guy, shoving his snout under him.

I would watch that. This dog trying to roll over big 350-pound Vic Weiss. That should be the entire film from now on. It's him struggling to do that. Just real time for 80 minutes. I would dig that film. I mean, it's just. What on?

Why is this movie about dogs wrestling each other? You know what I mean? Because that's too close to dog fighting and it's not a family family. There's no way that we fly. Michael Vick cameo. I would love that. Front row center, ringside seats. Yeah, I don't think.

I think the buddies group is like, yeah, I got a lot of stuff on Michael Vick, but so does everybody else my question by the way speaking of like sports that dogs would be good at I don't think there's a swimming buddies movie that's a great idea there's a swim move named after dogs come on oh the dog paddle

the very same Michael Phelps versus a dog that again a non-contact sport yeah we could get Phelbs don't worry about it oh on those pictures with him and that bong came out and somehow the world shit its

pants about it, okay. I'm saying that was a stupid thing for people to get upset about. No, he's, yeah. He's a great American. He's a great American hero. He absolutely is. I'm just saying. It's a feasible way to get

like a good real athlete cameo in which I feel all these movies are probably missing. But like, come on Russell Madness. How could you not get some real struggling so and so? Get Jake the snake. You know, he'll do your movie.

He does, they do, they eventually do get a real wrestler that goes by the name, The Hammer. But so you've got the backstory on this guy. What is this dude's deal? I googled it. I googled it. And I don't know, it was like Johnny Morrison or something? I figured you guys would know the fucking book on him. No.

I figured you guys read the booklets on this stuff. I stopped being a full-time wrestling watcher in the year 2000. Oh, 2000. I stopped in the attitude. era man stone cold steve austin dta that's when i stopped i did not get to stone colds i watched it for a few years and i was quite taken with the undertaker oh well he's still wrestling i know that's what's insane i think that guy's a robot he might be wrestling dogs right now that's how he keeps every morning he wakes up and wrestles four dogs before breakfast yeah i tried to get that

undertaker in the movie and then he killed a dog in front of me I said, okay, you're playing for keeps. Well, so wait, when you Googled this dude, did they say, like, if he wrestled in WWE or anything like that? It might have been WCW. Oh, I don't know. Maybe that TNA wrestling they do these days. Oh, yeah, that's, you know, I-N-A.

Yeah, Tits and ass. Well, I think it's more like action, or is it TNT? No, it's TNA wrestling. I don't know what it stands for. I guess it stands for Tits and Ass. I mean, maybe. Maybe that's the way it like joke started. It's kind of, as far

as I know, the only thing that's sort of like even remotely rivals WWE, but it's like where all the WWE guys go to die or like if they get fired or whatever. Why are all those guys in this movie? Where's Jeff Jared? Yes. Jeff Jared is a dude you could get in Russell

Madness. One to four Hardy Boys could have been in it. Who's Jeff Jarrett? Jeff Jarrett was a dude who is in WWF for a while before it came WWE. I don't know if he made the crossover. but like he was a guy who was like his gimmick was he was like a honky ton country music dude I like it and he would fucking bash guitars over people's heads I love it it was pretty cool and I think Jeff Jarrett was one of the original like T&A guys yes what about Lex Lugar

oh Lex Lugar would be Lex Lugar would wrestle a dog is he alive still I think he is actually I check that out he's still alive but he somehow we were talking about this the other day he somehow maybe had something to do with the death of Miss Elizabeth he was in the room man is that what is that right he was around it was like you know the wonderland killings he's the john holmes of that situation does he also have a 13 inch penis i would love dude that i would valkilmer movie by the way is the 13 inch penis well no he's in wonderland that's what that movie is well no i was thinking as lex luger in the in the miss elizabeth killings i think that's the next season of american crime once they get this oj season over with which

cannot wait to fucking watch. No, you're mixing it up. Oh, what is it? American crime is the Felicity Huffman Timothy Hutton show. Oh, American Huffman Hutton. American Crime Story. Yes, yes, yes. That's what the OJ thing is with Kubrick Jr. Wait, all right. Wow. Now I'm confused

between these titles. American Crime Story is a show from the producers of American Horror Story. And it's the same thing where every season, it's a different crime story. They're starting with OJ? No, well, there was another one. There was already a season that happened. I don't remember what the crime was. No, this is a brand new show. Was that? No, it's not.

You're getting American crime. Oh, is that what I'm mixing it up with? Who made the murderers on Netflix? Those were a bunch of corrupt cops that made that murderer. That's what happened. And now, who made O.J? Oh, well, that's what we'll find out with American crime story.

So this is the first season of American crime story. And American crime is a different show by John Logan, I want to say, on ABC. But was about a real crime? No, no, no. It's fake crimes. Gotcha.

It's like one crime a season. They're kind of doing a similar thing. So it's serial. It's kind of like cereal, yeah. Dude, this new show, though, David Schwimmer is playing Robert Kardashian. That's what we're talking about. And Travolta is Robert Shapiro. I love it.

It's going to be great. That's what we're talking about. All right. This is our society. Wrestling Dog Movies and John Travolta. And then what's season two going to be? The assassination of Abe Lincoln? You could go, period, P's?

They're going so high profile from right out of the gate. Yeah, literally the crime of the century is it was dubbed, if I recall. The only thing you could do is go Blake. Oh, shit. Go Blake or go home. The thing is, you summon the devil and then he plays Robert Blake convincingly. Right, yeah. He played, actually, the devil, excuse me,

the devil played Robert Blake and lost highway very well. Well, no. He did. He did a great job. That is still something that haunts my fucking dreams. Like, a lot of David Lynch, like, visuals freak me out, which is why I love him. But if I'm in, like, a dark room or if I'm, like, walking to the bathroom in the middle of the night, if I just happen to think about Robert Blake and Lost Highway, it is a fucking, like, tiny shriek comes out and I got to find a light. You know, because that dude's fucking creepy in that movie. I rewatched it not that long ago, and I liked it. Even more.

Really? I haven't seen it in years. It's worth a revisit. It is. All right. So Russell Madness. Russell Madness. We forgot what we're talking about.

Basically, he wins the match. Talk about a lost highway. The monkey, by the way, and here's the thing that. Dogs speak dog to each other. Correct. The monkey also speaks dog. Yes. And the monkey also speaks human.

Wait a second. Yes. So this monkey's a Mary Sue. How does it know all these languages? You know, I think you might be a bit of a merry suit. Yeah. This monkey's a total merry suit. I think so.

Oh, man. And it knows about wrestling. I didn't see it on screen. I didn't see him learn it. Great call. Also, can I talk about the favorite scene of mine in this movie? Okay. Where we get the monkey's backstory.

Yeah, that's fun. Of how this monkey learned to speak English. And it seems like it's the 1970s, which, by the way, was 40 years ago, monkey. Yeah. So, yeah, you're already. Hacking on the years, monkey. This monkey learned to speak English due to scientific genetic testing because he was a lab monkey. It's this like totally like almost glossed over like 30 second scene where he's like, yeah, I used to be part of this science lab.

And they did experiments on me. And I revealed that I learned to speak English. And then I escaped. And I'm like, that's a movie to watch. That's fucking talking monkey. I mean, that's like that George Romero movie. Or, what was it, rise of the planet of the age? Well, sure, but they, you know, they just evolved.

I totally forgot about that, and I apologize to Mr. Monkey. I guess he isn't a Mary Sue. No, no, yeah, they do, they take the time to build his vocabulary. But don't worry, gentle listener, that stupid woman in the Force Awakens is still a Mary Sue. Oh, yeah, you bet you. I'm Max Landis. No, it's probably more like, I'm Max Landis. I'm producing dog movies in Hollywood.

Yeah, that'll be in a few years, right? Yeah. For now, it's Victor Frankenstein that... Yipe, was he behind that? Yeah. That's a movie only dogs can hear. I mean, we might have wanted to check it out for this month. Right.

We couldn't even see it. It's a different frequency. Yeah, you can't hear it. There was, I think I've sort of told part of this story already in that when I went and saw Crimson Peak there was a preview for Crampus and when it ended some dude in the theater was like, what? And everybody laughed.

Yeah. The other part of that is there was a preview for Victor Frankenstein and I don't know if it was the same comedic hero in the theater. But after that one ended, someone was like, nah. Everybody just got the same laugh all over again. Also, you're releasing this

fucking dumb Victor Frankenstein movie. It came out. Thanksgiving, right? Yeah. Thanksgiving. what in the fuck figure your slate out film distributors October that's an October film in case you're wondering turns out you're wearing man Victor Frankenstein no thanks um so the monkey yeah I'm sorry I keep derailing this the monkey conversation there's nothing here I mean there's a dog fight there is nothing here the monkey trains the dog he works out a deal with the fence

family and the fan he starts talking and this dad's just like oh hey monkey how's it going yeah he reveals himself first to the little girl and she's like you can talk up but da but she's terrible oh yeah this poor little girl she doesn't have far to go in hollywood no you know what little girl go just go back to school just learn how to read learn how to write math's pretty important learn your american history the best they'll teach it to you yeah they you know i better see all that or else you're mary smear i mean i don't want to say it again but you're a mary Unless I see you learn everything. That's how I got fired for my job.

There are all these women actually doing a lot of different complex things at work. And I was like, you're just a Mary Sue. I didn't see you learn that skill. Hey, well, it's on top Mary Sue over there. That CEO, Mary Sue, bitch. They hire, they hauled me out and change. Well, that's what's crazy is some people do that and they get fired. Other people do that.

They get to fucking make Victor Frankenstein. So figure that shit out. Or they have to make Victor Frankenstein. You know what? That is kind of also a punishment. It's the cinematic movie-making equivalent of getting dragged out in chains. I don't know, whatever. So the monkey works out a cute deal where he's like,

you better pay me in a bunch of bananas. Oh, man, you know what I hate when monkeys are talking a slew of banana jokes? Because this monkey is like... Half the film now. Like, the wrestling movie kind of takes a backseat. It does. To him talking about bananas. it goes on and on and on

that was actually the word that triggered him when they were doing he learned English because he likes to say banana oh that's what gave up the ghost and he's talking about like oh I love soft banana smoothies and there's actually one line in this movie which I found very disconcerting

later in the film he foils a baddie with a banana and he's like yeah I can add that to the book I'm writing 101 uses for a banana by the way 84 of those are not suitable for children. Yeah, I'm sorry, but 50 of these can't be shoving up your ass.

Just page after page of different ways to shove a banana up your ass. Well, if you do it this angle, that's a different use. It feels different. You get really good at it. You could do a whole bushel at once.

I mean, you duct tape it to a chair and jump on it, that's a different use. Well, thank you for asking, but for monkeys, we call it the M spot. Oh, you know what? Somebody's going to make us do a dog movie because we made this episode. Someone's like, oh, I got something on you. You talked about monkeys' assholes for 20 minutes.

Yeah, we're being jerks here. But, you know, honestly, I'd be very easily convinced to be involved in a dog film. Oh, first and foremost. You know what? That dog? You're right. We do need to save our family. Oh, sure. I would totally do one of these dipshit movies. That's the thing is, like, I think there's subpar garbage. No one should watch them. You know, if you're a parent letting your kid watch this movie, you're terrible because there is a sea of quality family programs out there. I would totally do one of these movies in a heartbeat. Don't worry about it. You're getting an okay check for this. It's not great. It's something.

So the monkey trains the boy, the dog, and the little girl a little bit in wrestling. Because he's learned from all the greats. Fast forwarding a bit, he wins another match against a mummy, which is stupid. Now, is this the one he takes down, like... By unraveling him, yes. And then, like, tying up his legs, like an AT-A-T. No, that's actually... That's another guy?

That's a different guy, yeah. You'd think it would be the mummy. No, he unravels the mummy, and the mummy gets dizzy, and he falls over. Oh. And then to Andrew's point, he doesn't do it. classic pin. The mummy falls over on his tummy and then the dog...

The mummy's on his tummy. That's why I did it. And then the dog just... The dog like runs back up the ramp and backstage because he's pulling that much mummy string off. And then he runs back in and just jumps on his back and I'm like, that's not a pin!

The other question I have is Andrew's where does Austin 316 shirt, that's not a pin! Throwing beer at the Netflix box. I always... This was the... riddle of my life.

Uh-huh. What is this Austin 316? It means I just whooped your ass. Wait, now, that's a reference to... John 316. The Bible, which is what? That's the blind now I

see? Is that something different? You went to Sundy school? I went to Catholic school, which is why I know nothing about the Bible. I know about those worksheets they gave me. No, I don't... I don't remember. See, no one knows. It's a mystery for the ages. I mean, I'm sure people who are

intelligent now. But it's, you know, Austin 316 says, I just whooped your ass is what it is. That's what the t-shirt was. Man, it's the redneck battle. I can't even tell you the last time I saw an Austin 316 t-shirt. It feels like another America ago.

Yeah, I think I, I think the last time I saw one was at the, uh, the opening for episode one, the phantom menace. Yeah, a lot of Austin 316 shirts that day. Um, so John Ratsenberger, basically he's in this movie he uh he sees the dog he wants the dog he's like oh that dog's gonna be gonna make make it big so basically uh he has a health inspector check out the dilapidated arena sure enough they it it it shouldn't at all be standing and like this health inspector who's played as like a boob character is like oh the fire extinguishes don't work and oh the sprinkler system doesn't work and oh this is where uh white riot died or whatever But all those things do work. Great White, I apologize.

Great White. White Riot. White Riot is the fake band name you give to make that joke in one of these movies. It's also the name of Clash song. But this, oh, wait. I got something, oh, coming right across from the Bible ticker. John 316, for God, so loved the way. world that he gave his one and only son

that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have internal life such as Stone Cold Steve Austin I just whooped your ass you know makes perfect sense let me paraphrase that God gave his only one son

and those who shall follow him live forever what about I just whooped your ass let me just put some different words in there make a little snappier for the public and you know what he was right because that motherfucker made millions of dollars off of that. What's Austin

315? What's a sentence before that? I got to go to the toilet. Have you guys seen that new show of his his podcast? No, or I think it's him like it's like, welcome to Steve Austen's

Twisted Skull Ranch. Now you're going to have to run up that hill. Oh, he's got a reality show? Yeah, where he's like telling all these people like you've got to get up that hill. You've got put you know you have to like fight or like you got to make sure that they don't get that flag before

you do oh my god is it a redneck fucking ninja warrior show yeah pretty much because that's what it sounds like yeah that's what it is i mean two places i would rather i can't have i don't know what i would do if i woke up on ted nugent's ranch and stone cold's ranch because both of them you're getting hunted for sport i would rather have stone cold i feel like you can reason with that man

more stone cold i'll tell you i've always appreciated it's like real life Stone Cold because he came out like in favor of gay marriage like a really long time ago like on that podcast and I was like oh Stone Cold Steve Austin's

kind of like a pretty good guy Steve Williams or whatever his real name is you know it's like all right like I got no ill will against Stone Cold Steve Austin I was always a fan as Stone Cold always played as the Rock versus him in those games though

the thing about that boob character health inspector that I wanted to note for a second because it's distracting is this actress is trying to do like some kind of voice and it's like you know what girl that got cast because someone saw your improv team in the back of

an Italian restaurant just fucking play this health inspector the way you talk and get out of Russell Madness. To be fair though, John Ratsenberger has a skunk on his face. Her scene partner is a monkey. She might be tempted to play it a little

broad. I just don't need play it for the back row a little bit. I don't need people in Russell Madness taking it for a walk. Get in. Say your dumb, poorly written line. Get gooped on by whatever the fuck. Because this woman, she gets gacked. This woman is a contestant on, you can't do that on television. She's getting slimed left and right. Because she's like, oh, let me just see

what's inside this steam vent. Gack. It's like yellow slime. And I'm like, what are we talking about? It's disgusting. I was like, Where'd all this hot caramel come from? That bum in the corner is like, they found it. Oh, I didn't know that was going to pay off like that. I've been doing my business in that tube. Hey, monkey, you could make that 102 uses for a banana. I'm helping this monkey write a book.

But what? There's no monkey there at all. Oh, absolutely not. My monkey friend's writing a book. I'm helping, I'm doing some fact-checking. I'm going to be a ghost writer, though. The monkey gets all the credit. What is the logic in these filmmakers, though,

that's like, she's going to test this sprinkler by putting a lighter up to it, and yellow slime is going to come out of it. That's not fucking funny. The gag is brown water. Yes, brown water would be the movie. Rust water. Fucking slime, you stupid movie.

there's no respect for its audience whatsoever. We're already there for a wrestling dog. Well, I think that's why they think they can get away with those kinds of things. But a wrestling dog takes up all the horse shit. You don't have any more fucking feathers to pluck from that chicken. You know what? My point is that this movie should just be about a dog wrestling. And the ins and outs of it, how it can do it.

Yes. It takes a back seat because what happens is because of the, what do you call it, the renovations, he kind of sells the dog to John Ratsenberger. They form a partnership. And then this dog goes on the road. And then it turns into a movie where like the mom's like, oh, but you don't have time for us anymore. The kid's like, oh, you missed my birthday. I'm like, what about this dog fucking wrestling?

Exactly. The wife is more concerned. Like, you were going to take more time off. Now it's just exactly like it was when you're working for Bernie Madoff. But now you're just taking orders from a dog and John Ransenberger and a monkey. And it's like, yeah, it's like, I want to go see this. this dog on the wrestling circuit. Yeah. But instead it's this family drama

from a family who's just four of the biggest morons that I could not care less about. The best part is so he comes back after this long tour and like it's their anniversary and like he's about to go back to the home which is also

they sleep and live and fuck and shit inside this haunted wrestling arena. Yes. And he is like about to go back but John Rats He's like, ah, we got a press signing coming up. And he's like, oh, the tour never ends. And the monkey says to him, which I'll never forget.

The monkey whispers in this guy's year. Before the wife comes up, he's like, what happens on the road? Stays on the road. 103 uses for a banana. I swear to God, this happens. Yeah. What are we talking about, movie? Because they're getting out of the car, and he's just like, now remember, whatever

it happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. And here's the thing, the best case scenario for that is... Best case. Uh-huh. That monkey is getting strange on the road and that dude is getting strange on the road, like separately in two different rooms. Yeah, like the monkey went to his zoo. And the dad went to his trip club.

It's like any which way but loose. You took him to the zoo to get fucked. Right. No, or... Or... And I don't know what Russell's getting up to. I'll be honest. Maybe the dad and the monkey together in one room, you know what I'm saying.

Yeah, yeah. That's what you were dancing around, right? Yeah, that's what I was dancing. Let's dance right through it. That was the worst case scenario is that they're together. Beastiality is involved. I think it's beastiality, yeah. That's the absolute best thing.

The Criterion Collection is ever produced as like a Beastiality? No, it's the fucking best thing ever. I think I may have mentioned this somewhere down the line, but when they put out the eclipse box set of Robert Downey Senior movies, they released a series of video. where it's Robert Downey and PTA watching his movies. Like PTA is a big fan of Robert Downey's movies. And he's like just asking him questions about these movies.

And one of the movies, I don't remember which one, there's a monkey in it. And he's talking about like making this movie. And he's just like sitting there like, yeah, that guy was on acid. That guy was on acid. That guy was on acid. Oh, and then this guy. That guy in the back there, he was the guy that owned the monkey. I'll never forget one time it's the scene where the monkeys.

just sitting on this bed and this woman's sitting on a bed and the guy comes over me this guy that owns the monkey and he whispers him here and he goes hey do you uh you want that monkey to fucker

this is a thing that a dude who owns a monkey said to a filmmaker in the 1960s which leads me to believe that is not the first time or the last time no wait in

oh for this guy or in history no I'm saying this dude had this monkey perform things I'll say in history because people who yeah I mean just in you know

some everyone has their tricks like oh this monkey's good to you know saluting Hitler which is great this monkey's good at chewing bananas this monkey's good at covering his eyes this monkey's good at fucking probably you know there was that old tale

speaking of Nazi monkeys Soviet monkeys Oh, right. Where apparently Stalin and his nefarious red army We're trying to breed monkeys with man So that they could make a half-human ape army To stomp out the Nazis with.

The Humanzi. I would say that's the true story. It's the problem with totalitarianism, guys. Somebody needs to be in that room and be like, uh, no. You know, that's, you know, you want to say committee thinking this and that? Yeah, yeah. Committee thinking would stop monk. half monkey armies. You're right. Dictatorships and Star Wars prequels.

Committees could help. Yeah, I agree. Someone's just got to say no to the dude at the top. Whether it's fucking monkeys or Jar Jar Binks, someone say no. Both crimes against humanity as far as I'm concerned. So they go back. At this point, I think he's about to have his big match with this guy, the hammer, which as we said happens. He uses the hammer's shoe laces against him and he ties them up and he falls over, right? Yes, which is adorable. But the hammers got it, got it something up his sleeve, which is a dog whistle. Yeah. And I'm sorry, the hammer is like six foot three, 300 pounds, whatever, built like a fucking brick shit house.

Yeah, right. Cut out of marble. Eric, you're about like, what, 511, 6-1? Something like, I don't know. You could take down a Jack Russell Terrier. I feel like you put me in a ring with a Jack Russell. Russell Terrier. Yes.

Like maybe this Jack Russell Terrier, you know, swindled my mom out of money or something or like. As has been known to happen, they are a tricky breed of dog. Something that wherein I would get so angry at this Jack Russell Terrier, I would be brought to physical violence. And I'd never heard a dog. But I could knock the shit out of a Jack Russell Terrier, if need be. I think, yeah, I, if pressed, I could kill a dog for you. You're wearing a big rassler boot. Just step on it.

You got to just step on it. That thing into the fucking back row. Kick it as hard as you can. Maybe in the throat, I would say would be a good spot. And like, yeah, he's got to outwit this dog. I'm like, dude, just put it to sleep. Yeah, you're also, by the way, this wrestler, he's the heel. Yeah, yeah.

Like, Russell is the hero. Yeah, he's the face. He's the face. This dude's the heel. You can do whatever you want because that's your job. Oh, man, real brave king kicking a dog in the throat. My God, Russell Madness is dead He is definitely dead

Oh, that dog's eight days And the powder up, I'll tell you that much They put him to sleep Oh, call the kill, Shelter King, We got another one to throw on the fire Russell Madness is dead Oh, cry Call the bootleggers

That make fake suede jackets They're going to have a lot of material tonight. So whatever. Oh, also, before we get too far away, because, like, you know how you said he was missing the anniversary? Oh, yeah. Well, the whole family's concerned about him missing milestones. One, the wedding anniversary.

Also, Bobby Draper's birthday. Also, the little girl. Bobby Draper is always getting his birthday missed by some parent, that's for sure. No matter what project this kid goes on But then the little girl's like You're going to miss Easter Who fucking cares? I don't give a shit

My fucking parents are home on Easter Who gives a fuck? If my parents aren't home It means I don't have to go to church Fucking miss Easter But The more important thing about this dad Missing all this shit for the kids

Is there's It's in Bobby Draper's birthday party scene Where of course he's having his birthday At the wrestling arena And kids are rassling in the ring and whatever there is a terrifying cardboard cutout of this father sitting at the birthday table by the cake like dad's not here but here's a cardboard cutout of dad

it's okay my visage will be there it's fucking terrifying it's a bit eerie in the age of FaceTime dad can FaceTime later yep you don't need to wherever you would get that made so we're getting towards the climax here There is a moment, I think we need to do it. 104 ways to use a banana. Apparently when he signed this contract with John Radsenberger,

it relinquishes the dog's ownership to him. Yes. And like when the dog overhears this, the dog's like, you sold me? I'm a slave. He doesn't say the asses. No, he doesn't. It's basically that. And he gets put in a cage because it's in lunitude's fashion. He signed this contract.

He's like, oh, it's right there, you know. And he's like, oh, how? And then he gets a magnifying glass. And of course, it's there. Which I'm pretty sure magnifying glasses don't hold up in court. Probably not. So this is when the monkey breaks him out of jail. The monkey and the little boy, by the way. Bobby Draper does it too. This is the 101. uses to... Well, because the monkey has this gag where, like, he

knows how to stand in shadow and appear really big. Oh, right. Yeah. I almost forgot about that because each time it happened, I was just so busy laughing my tits off at it. What a great gag. So whatever. They go outside and this is when

there's this like dropped line in the beginning of the movie, like the dog keeps pissing on everybody in the pet store. And this other guy's like, oh, it's an adorable Jack Russell Terrier. I can get a lot of money for it. Or, I mean, I could give it a good home. You can get a lot of money for a Jack Wharsletary, I'll tell you that much. Is that right?

Oh, yeah. Oh, shit. Making all sorts of coats. Does Frasier dogs? No, I'm just not coats. Yeah, coats. You could buy them down by Penn Station. For all the Frazier cosplayers out there?

I've got my Niles and I've got my dad and now I've got my Eddie. They're all stuffed, right? Oh, yep. Every last one of them. Just need a ross, yeah. Some maniac in a basement apartment With a bunch of sherry and dead people What's that Maris?

You never see Maris What if I'm Maris? Oh my God, Fraser cosplay It works And living in a basement like that It's kind of like living in Seattle It's always dark and raining Oh baby I hear the blues a call in

Dost salad And scrambling crampled heads. Serial killer Frasier cosplay. It's like leather face, Frazier. That's right, Maris. What a stupid idea. Whatever.

So it's, of course, it comes down to one big match. John Ratsenberger. By the way, speaking of cardboard cutouts, there is a delightful cardboard cutout of, because he is supposed to be a Vincentman stand-in. So he would have been a wrestler back in the day. And it's basically a cardboard cut out in John Ratzenberger's office of a Cheers promotional photo from like 1984 put on like Scott Steiner's body or something. It's just like this big beefy dude with a John Ratzenberger face and it looks so, so, so bizarre.

Because it's so, so, so, so impossible that that ever was a thing. Like Vince McMahon wasn't even in that kind of shape. No, I mean, he's big now. because of all the juice, but... Oh, sure. The thing you were getting at, by the way, is this dude, because this is, it's crucial, this pet store owner. Yeah, the pet store

employee. Employees like, oh, you know, I'm going to adopt the dog, and before the dog could be adopted, he thinks he's going to go to the pound, so he runs away. But this got, yeah, he's got the, sorry, yeah, he's got an adoption certificate that comes, basically it's the old gag of like, oh,

you never had the dog, because I always owned the dog, and he relinquishes the rights back to the family. And it's a winner-take-all match because I guess John Ratsenberger still owns the bullshit dank arena that we're in. Yep. It's like, oh, there's got to be a tag team match. This dog and a partner versus the hammer and we'll get another partner. And they get Dieter, this German wrestler, and this is fun.

It's the guy who they called at the beginning of the movie and he said no because he worked for John Ratzenberger. And it's because of this Dieter fella That the wife resorts to Craigslist So it's that rassler He comes in And he's wearing Liederhausen obviously And he has a silly German accent And he's doing a lot of fucking

Yodalai he who gags Oh, just kill me And you know who else would be a good Tag team partner for a dog They don't get the bulldog from the beginning of the movie That's what you want Is ready to do it Which doesn't make a whole lot of sense

but at least he's a man. That's that dad's whole life. He's ready to do it. But he doesn't follow through on shit, this loser father character. God, I hate this weenie. And, like, it's one thing to send your dog. It's a bad dog.

Bad dog. You get, like, you find a dog that's good at wrestling. You're like, I don't care if that thing lives or dies. That thing's going to be a huge internet sensation. Go for it. My only son is like, oh, hey, I want to wrestle these men. I'm like, absolutely not. And again, it goes back to how skewed this universe is

where these grown-ass-asslers, the hammer and Dieter von, whatever the Frig, are not only willing to rassel dogs, they're just going to beat this shit out of a little boy, too. The announcers are cool with it, too. Everyone's just like, oh, yeah, of course, yeah, a little boy, yeah, sure. Fred Willard and Mack from Nightcourt don't blink one second. They don't give a fuck as long as the, you know, their flasker.

state fall. I think this is like some sort of an American outpost in Thailand. Like it's Portland comma Thailand. You're like oh, is Portland Maine or Portland Oregon? No, no, no. It's Portland, Thailand. It might be a town that exists on international waters. And if it's not,

I mean, this could be season two of American crime story. Absolutely. Like, because you can't have a dog and a kid wrestle two grown men. Like, where is the obnoxious local reporter, like everyone's like, I don't know the New York City ones, but maybe Steve

you'll recognize one. The dudes that are just it's not a lionel, but it's like the dudes who are like, I got you, I'm going to investigate him so and so. Oh, like ask ASA or whatever. Yeah, those obnoxious people that are just like knocking on doors like, why are you cashing

bad checks? Why are you cashed bad checks open your door? Where are those people to blow the whistle on this? Why you let dogs fight your wrestling ring? Are you running a dog? A dog fighting ring? Excuse me. I'm a journalist.

Oh, the W-pix one I think is Help Me Howard. Oh, help me Howard. Yes, thank you. And there's a few more. Of course. There's tons of them. All of those people 30 years past their prime. And again, man, I don't know, you put me a fat out of shape, nothing, in a ring against, and like for all

the money in the world or whatever, a dog and a fucking 12-year-old waif? I don't know, man. Someone's getting a stunner and someone's getting a fucking pile driver. You're getting it done. You pick up the dog, you smash the kid with him. It's right there. It's done.

By God, this makes total sense. He's using a dog as a weapon. That's pretty efficient. That dog is dead and now it's a bat. It's a warm, floppy bat. Never thought I'd see a 12-year-old boy's skull get crushed by a dog's skull. But it could happen. I'd punch Bobby Draper right in the three.

I mean like and just not even kill him but knock him out and I mean like look again dude stone cold stunners I didn't tell that kid to get into a ring I didn't ask for it he put that fucking uniform on himself that's what he wants to do this he wants to enter the world of men this is what's gonna happen

take you out back and show you what it's like but of course not like he gives the fucking German guy a wedgy at one point like you like he like pokes him in the eyes or something yeah my favorite line of the film Oh, okay.

My beautiful eyes. My beautiful blue eyes. The goggles do nothing. Nine. Nine, mine eyes. Mine a ogan. Oh, nine. My augen is kaput.

He also kicks that dude right in the dick. Yeah, he does. It is a straight up, not family movie dick kick, and I kind of loved it. And I mean, like, the ref isn't doing much because I don't know. It's a baby and a dog. advantage they could get. The balls are open for business, kids. Go nuts. And the baby manages to pull a nose hair out of Dieter. This is disgusting. Oh, that part's really gross, man. Yeah. His nose is full of gack and big old weird spider hairs, like these tarantula hairs. He pulls one out. And he

screams, and he has to go and tag the hammer in. He does. And then, uh, then, you know, the kids like really worried. He's like, oh, man, I can't beat this guy. I better get my 25 pound Jack Russell Terrier in here and he does and we didn't even talk about the the dog's special move which is when the dog turns into a cartoon

which is the Russell Tussle Oh right The dog runs up against the tur Up against the ropes jumps back And springs himself at you And basically just kicks you in the chest And I mean like I don't know Throw a 25 pound

You see me on the street I live in Jersey City Throw a fucking Jack Russell Terrier On me at full force I'm still gonna stand up. I'm just going to be like, hey, ouch. You know what you just got... You know what you just got... You gave someone a free pass to throw a fucking cinder block at your head.

It was a Jack Russell Terrier. I did it. You told me I could. You're right. You could definitely withstand that blast. Absolutely. Now, you live in the... If Peyton Manning threw a fucking Jackal Terrier at you, maybe we're talking a different story. I'm... A perfect spiral.

I moved to a small little country town. A little different than Jersey City. I was walking to the train one day. And people are throwing dogs left and right. Kind of. I see this husky. Yeah. Like down the road.

I'm like, huh, I don't see an owner anywhere. The husky's right there. And it's getting closer and closer. It's charging me. That's pretty dangerous. It's just dogs charging me.

Did it get you? Yeah. What? It jumped up on me. Did you punch it in the throat? No, it was very friendly. But the whole husky jumping on you.

That's a big deal. I didn't fall down. I didn't even fall down. I could definitely take a jack russell yeah absolutely you just boot it man yeah you just if anything you just like it's coming at you with that momentum you just grab use its own weight against it oh smart smart momentum you do like one of those uh you know martial artist moves wait a second can we back up to you being attacked by a random dog yeah was the owner around no what it's just a dog running around it jumped up on you like to be friendly yes

but there wasn't someone that was like oh I'm so sorry he does that all the time no no one and then I went to the train station and another fellow was there and he was like I was with that dog and I'm like I know I know the dog is there a wrestler

he was like the owner around it I was like I was like no and then he's like he was kind of like starting to imply that like I should have like investigated this a little bit when he didn't

it was like my responsibility because the dog came in contact with me like, huh, you didn't look around for the owner? I was like, he was like, well, I hope the dog gets where it's going. And I'm like, yeah, me too, buddy. See you. See you later, pal. I'm going to work, man.

All right for dogs. That's how that white god movie starts, dude. You better be careful in your hometown. Oh, shit. See what's going on up there. A dog might be running for mayor. Do you think Peyton Manning could throw Jack Russell Terrier in a perfect spiral, though? Yes. yeah without question even though his

his better days are behind him yeah well he's got all that HGA in his blood now yeah it's like making his brain weird and then he's eating all that fucking Papa John's that's fucking Papa John's because he's got all that Papa John's coursing through his veins I feel like that's got to counteract the HGHH that like makes

like an oxygen bubble on your brain that's all that garlic butter sauce I'm just saying that guy's getting dimmer by the day I don't know if it's the Papa Johns or the concussion Right? Tell the truth. Tell the truth.

Well, that's the funny thing about this movie, though, is this movie makes this fun world of professional wrestling. Which we all know professional wrestling to be. But there's a big debate about kids playing football anymore. Should kids play football? Blah, blah, blah, blah. CCE concussions. Every wrestler that I ever loved has died in a fiery death.

I don't think little kids should be watching wrestling movies where it's like wrestling is so much fun Like that's a terrible terrible life career But wait so all those wrestlers were at the Great White concert No I mean like they A lot of them are gone Because of most definitely the same reasons that the CTE stuff You know what I mean?

Like you're getting hit in the head so many times The fire that burns twice as bright Burns half as long but I mean that actually kind of brings to mind a thing I've always sort of had is like what's the moment in your life when you're like I'm gonna be a professional wrestler right into the we all hate movies mailbag if you have ever considered professional wrestling I want to know because a lot of the times like people like the rock right like he he came from a family of professional wrestlers so it was like a thing he was going to do and you see that

with a lot of people like their dads and their grandfathers and it's like a story you know, back to fucking carny times and whatever. Yeah, just like this. Kind of just like this. My dad, my dog, my monkey friends. All of them were wrestlers. I had no choice. But, I mean, like nowadays in 2015 if some kid, you know,

a dude or lady, we got a lot of lady wrestling now. It's like I want to be a professional wrestler. I'm just like, fucking why? Because a skeezy gentleman handed me his business guy. He looked awful lot like a

A skunk-haired John Ratzenberger. So, whatever. The end of this movie, the guy, the hammer tries to use the dog whistle again. Oh, right. Another dirty trick by the hammer, man. But the Russell Madness, and he falls over like he did before.

The other thing is, I kind of want, when I knew the dog was going to lose a match eventually, I kind of wanted to just get body slammed once, right? Just once. And then, like, maybe he's got a fun ice pack on his head later. Sure. That's cute.

There is a scene where it's after he loses that match. where it's like the dog is just laying on a pile of towel. Yeah, yeah, exactly. That's kind of cute. Like, he just gets a little, a little, maybe he's got a little bandage around his head.

That's fun. Yeah, just something. Like, you don't have to imply animal abuse, but, like, that dog lost a wrestling match. That's got to mean something. I was also waiting for him to, like, bite a toe off or something. Yeah, yeah, go the other way on.

Really just dig into them. Just tyson the shit out of that person. But he outwits the dude because he put, like, cotton balls in his ears. And, like, he pretends that he, go down. Right. And the guy jumps off the turnbuckle. He falls. He falls face first. The dog winks, by the way, which is a little creepy. Yeah. Well, it's creepy as shit. They've got another

thing that creeps me out and haunts my soul to no end, which is computerized dog mouth. Oh, my God. Jesus Christ. We're just slapping a cartoon on the edge of an actual dog's mouth that it's going, it's like when Conan would do fucking Arnold Schwarzenegger. You know, it's like that. It just skeaves me. Like, that's where Homeward Bound got it right. Yep. It's just voiceover acting and they're looking at each other. I don't need a mouth. I will believe either way that a dog is talking. It's like telepathy. It's fine.

Yeah. Yeah. Every dog has telepathy. Every monkey has telepathy. It's fine. So he wins the match and that's kind of the end of the movie, right? What happens is, and then like there's this weird narration from the kid and he's like, and Russell was always my favorite dog and we wrestle together for years and years and they cut to like 20 years later

this dog is still alive the monkey is still there I think he's 100 at this point now this kid is Russell 3 yeah we're just not telling anybody because it's this like it's like a 40 year old beefy dude in the ring and the same outfit that kid has

with the dog and they're like oh we were a great tag team and the dad is there it's the same actor and he's got like gray hair yeah it's the same douchebag style of hair but they put a bunch of baby powder in it but it's like telling you a bunch of time passed and this

dog is on this kid's shoulder and he's like we were wrestling buds forever and you're like that dog is dead dude especially dogs you know 10 to 12 years whatever 13 years you put a dog at a wrestling ring that dog's that lasts in five years I'm sorry something's going down that's true

oh man and yeah I mean that's the end of it John Ratzenberger does get thrown out of the ring by, I think, the wife. Someone's throwing him out of the ring. Was the hammer fed up? I don't know. Someone tosses him good, doll. Yeah.

You can just see his ass. Not exposed or anything, but in slacks. It's pretty good. And then people throw a bucket of popcorn on his body, which was pretty cool. And then I think the last line of this movie is Mac from Nightcourt saying, hey, are we cool? Can I leave? Hey, we're good now? The bus is coming.

Are we square yet or what? Because I'm not doing another one of these. Yeah, we're square for now. Till Russell Madness 2 comes out. Oh, maybe the buddies are going to go on an abandoned pirate ship. You ever played a pirate before? Mac from Nightcourt. Hey, Mac from Nightcourt.

How do you feel about playing a mission control operator? because I'm sending some more apes into space next summer. Oh, no one's recommending this, right? Of course not. I'm shocked, you guys aren't. Well, I saw this movie twice. Yeah, you know what? Twice is two times too many.

It is. I'm saying no. I think, but, you know, sometimes we're like, oh, the worst of 2015. Sometimes it's just unwatchable garbage. Oh, sure. And this stuff is like once. You're talking about last week, right? Yeah, entourage, definitely.

There is some of this stuff that is really one notch above pornography, and that's where we are right now. What? You thought this was porno? No, one notch above. What's that mean? They keep their clothes on. The production values are as such that monkey kept its diaper on. You're saying a porno could bust that at any moment, but that's disturbing to me because these are animals and children.

No, I'm saying... It's just like pornos aren't movies, and then, like, one step above it is like... Oh, okay, I got you. This is... Opera. Yeah, it's like barely a family movie. You know what I mean? Like, you think about the exact opposite of what this family movie is, is inside out.

Yeah. Right. As far as like family films from 2015. Is that an adult film or? Oh, you're talking about the Pixar movie. Oh, Lord. 105 ways to use a banana. But you know what I mean?

It's like, this is like the flushed toilet of family films. It is. I feel like these movies kind of start with two leathery old men and one's like, well, I could make a movie for 5,500 bucks. And they're like, no, you can't. No, watch me. You watch me.

I'll have a dog, a monkey. I already got the monkey. I want him in a card game last. Oh, Netflix. You don't have to make a real movie anymore to buy anything. The ridiculous six. It's ridiculous. You know, that is something I just saw a statistic and it's the most soul-crushing thing of all time.

is that Ridiculous Six is the most watched Netflix entity of the year. Come on. Of all the things they've had, not just originals, of all the things they've had streaming, this idiot garbage world of ours has selected Ridiculous Six to watch more than anything else. Well, I chipped into that, unfortunately. Did you watch that movie? I did.

And? It's terrible. How's Norm in it, though? because I know that's why you were watching it. Yeah, I'm a huge Norm MacDonald fan. Well, he's in it for about seven seconds. But Rob Schneider's farting all over the place, ain't he? A little bit.

Yeah, he's there. Yeah, I know he's there. It's not good. And I wouldn't recommend it. This is not leading into a plug for next week. Because we're not, I don't think we're going to do ridiculous six. We're not doing ridiculous six. But plug for next week, we're doing pixels.

We're doing pixels because, of course, we're doing pixels. it leads me to this though that I did want to address because you know we're very active in our social media community we listen to our fans and interact with them quite a bit what are 101 ways to use a banana that's what we want to know no I will say this picks please the the idea of the worst of 2015 and here we are talking Russell madness and we have two weeks left and listen of course we're not going to get to all of the worst of 2015. You know what I mean? In 10 years when we're dead, someone the new hosts will kickstart it, get a billion dollars the last surviving member

will kickstart it. Oh yeah. Absolutely. And we cast it and then in 10 years, Ridiculous Six might just make the show. Maybe. Maybe it will. But I mean, we know there's so many bad movies out there, but we can only get to so much. We can only get to so much. So what were

your worst of 2015? Not that we need to be watching. Right. But let's talk about it on social media. And I'll say this, because maybe it's something we can put in like the back end of all this, an announcement because I was just able to confirm it with him today. At some point, before the Academy Awards

airs, we will have a WHM on screen talking about the prestige and the nominations and the glitz and the whatnot, including WHM lost cast member Chris Cabin will be on the program. I don't know about that. It's happening, dude.

You know what? I feel like we're using old clips. We're recycling things. I bet you a hundred. It's getting tricky with the editing. I bet you a hundred and four ways to use a banana that Chris Cabin will be on the program to be talking about the Oscars with us. They could bring back Nancy Marshon for the Sopranos. I don't know if they could bring back Chris Cabin for this. We hate movies. It's just a bunch of clips of Chris going, who are you?

What do you care? Huh? Hey? Tony. Why do you care? My mother died last night. That is the clunkyest way to handle anything. Yep.

And the amount of specials that you had to watch talking about how brave and ingenious it was blew up in their face. Hey! Who asked you? That's Russell Madness, directed by Robert Vince, theuteur behind a ton of these movies. If you want to get a hold of us,

check out our website, WHMpodcast.com or find us over at Sideshow Network.tv. Like us on Facebook and follow us on Twitter. We're at WHM podcast and of course right into the mailbag. We all hate movies at gmail.com. As Steve said, what were some of your worst film going experiences of 2015? That'll probably make it figure to the January mailbag. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. We're recording it this week. So when you hear this episode,

give me some good stuff. Sure. We'll make it into the mailbag. I mean, a quick little thing. We've talked about the Soviet Humane Z. Blamement on Outer Space is sort of back. Yes, there you go. Blame It on Outerspace.com. We've got a ghost story spectacular. It's a limited series.

We'll see what's going on with it. It's like Netflix. Yeah. It's like you returned on Netflix. Exactly. Exactly. It'll be back here and there. Do you have another one in the can?

We do. Yeah. It'll be out before the end of the month. And we're recording some more after that. So there you go. Bios back on the airwaves back out of the bunker because you demanded it No I didn't demand it

No I mean I was talking to the audience It did demand it Oh Eric certainly didn't demand People do like that show So that's what I was trying to get at there You cancelled it and then you were like Oh fuck people listen to it Yeah I turned I had no idea

Well there you go see Don't know what you got Till it's go on Exactly and the rule of that is come back just don't care as much and it all works out for the best

oh it's the arrest development model it is it definitely is so next week we are chatting about our buddy Adam Sandler and his most recent well not most reason because Ridiculous Six was the most reason most recent theatrically released film

there you go pixels until then I'm Andrew Jupin Steven Seda Eric Siska and taking us out is another track from our good buddy Adam Roxar and his group Rua This is Philosophy. We'll see you next week.

Flashback Cigarette Now the cigarette You're good On both sides Space times Your mouth On my mouth

That time I told you Everything Now your world You're the one who knows for your windows. I read and let go of movie screens, philosophy. They're getting high, psychology, and all friends. You pass Breakdowns

Your hands Photographs But disappear My body Far away from him And you have thought And spot that Change me

Change my life Come back Through me Oh I'll die I'll die Come back for me because you're the one

who are the one who you're the one who knows Thank you.