We Hate Movies - S6 Ep246: Episode 246 - The Wizard

Episode Date: April 19, 2016

On this week's episode, the gang gets around to a long-promised discussion on the ridiculous Nintendo-commercial film, The Wizard! How did anyone find Fred Savage characters appealing in the 80s? What's with all the video game street gambling? And just how cool is Lucas? PLUS: John Goodman vs. Beau Bridges: Dawn of Street Brawlin'! The Wizard stars Fred Savage, Luke Edwards, Jenny Lewis, Christian Slater, Beau Bridges, Will Seltzer, and Sam McMurray; directed by Todd Holland.Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Today on the program, it's a world owned by Nintendo. We're talking about The Wizard. I'm Andrew Jupin. Stephen Seda. Eric Siska. And we hate movies. Hello everyone. Welcome to We Hate Movies on the Side Show Network.

Thank you for tuning in to our fun program. Oh my God. Buy Nintendo. Look at this. Nintendo Power. Nintendo's just taking over the fucking intro to the show. We're playing a game right now. This is outrageous.

Hey, kids. Do you want a power glove? Hey, hey, hey. Stop thinking about We Hate Movies and buy a power glove. A-B-A-B-Slect. Well, for anyone who's curious, It was directed by a guy named Todd Holland in 1989, you baboons. Just yelling Nintendo Power.

My God. How about some fucking decorum on this show? It's better than White Power to be totally fair. Like, you know what? You want to listen to a podcast that yells Nintendo Power, not so much a podcast that yells White Power. That's true. Although, would a podcast who yells White Power get accepted by the iTunes Terms and Conduct? You're definitely getting an E for that one.

Yeah, you're getting an E, but you're probably getting on there, maybe in the news and politics section. So this movie, for those who don't remember, is basically Rain Man for Babies, is what this movie is. It stars 1980s Wunderkind Fred Savage. So he's hanging around. And they're a Nintendo machine. A lot of Nintendo boxes, Nintendo set-top boxes.

Nintendo set top boxes co-star in the film The Little Kid from Little Big League Oh What is Little Big League? It's a movie where a kid's playing Major League Baseball for some reason But it's not Rookie of the Year

Oh, what? And it's not the other one. What's the one with Elijah Wood Where he inherits the Minnesota Twins? Am I thinking of the right movie? I have no idea what that is. The good son. It might not be Elijah Wood.

There is a movie I think where a child inherits a movie. Major League Baseball team. They're giving a boy now. So you got this kid. And then you have Jenny Lewis. Yeah. Rock sensation Jenny Lewis back when she was a child actor.

And Mr. Beepops, Christian Slater, right? Oh, sure. Mr. Beepbops. What did you say? The show is Mr. Robo. I was like, you see talking about pump up the volume? I was like, what's that got to do with cuffs? yes christian slater's in this movie uh a put upon bow bridges is in this movie always want that

that's a sweet spot in cinema i will say that bow bridges and christian slater make a pretty convincing father-son team i totally agree with that statement yeah i'm like all right that they're father and son i'm buying it uh bow bridges as the biological father of fred savage not so much and also can we address this up front how is it that fred savage made all these movies where the rest of his relatives talk one way and he talks like fucking Fred Savage who was born in the basement of Wrigley Field. Jesus Christ,

this goddamn accent on this child actor is outrageous and it's never addressed. He's a third deep dish pizza on his mother's side. This accent, I can't even do it. He was birthed on the set of the. S&L da Bears sketch, this fucking voice that he has. And put in like a tiny little kid voice. Oh, it's so worse.

It's the worst voice. Now I'm just picturing like Dennis Farina in inner space or something. Getting all like little. It's ridiculous. Yeah, he is kind of a little baby Dennis Farina, actually. Like you're telling me that this character and the Christian Slater character grew up in the same house? I don't think so. Now I'm thinking of vice versa with Dennis Farina instead of Judge Reinhold a much better movie.

Like he's a drug cop, but then his son, you know, obviously there's an idol. You know, it's a crate that's supposed to be filled with drugs. Oops, it's an idol. Now they switch bodies and now this baby has to take down a Colombian drug gang in the body of Dennis Frina. Same accent. Just Dennis Farina telling this little kid, now look here, Danny, you got to go up against the big. mobsters. Like, oh my God, I'm like teaching them how to like...

You got to have a steady hand or else you're going to blow your head off. Now, what you want to do is start small. We're going to have you arrest the serial rapist first and see how you do. Don't let me down, kid. And then Fred Savage, because he's got Dennis Freeman's brain and his body, would be an overzealous

hall monitor? Yes, that's how it would work. Yeah, that's a movie that unfortunately, Dennis Freeman is dead and Fred Savage is 48 years old, so can't make that one. Looks like you're cut in class. I'm going to take you down now. And then like on the other end,

then you get great performances of Dennis Farina being patted down, acting like it's weird. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Like, what are you touching me for, boys? Great ideas just lost to the sands of time. That's all I can say, folks. So this is a real weird, like, weepy drama mixed with,

I mean, it is Rain Man for Babies. That's a nail on the head statement. I mean, you have a mentally disabled person who, brothers with a not mentally disabled person and they go on a road trip yeah well is he just like autistic and we didn't know what that was yet well the weird thing is in the beginning they do say that he's been traumatized like that's what the word is that they're using but i think to your point he's probably just autistic i mean it's a mystery it's a mystery uh you know it's a mystery that doesn't need to be a mystery yeah i mean he's just he's autistic like they're not saying it but

that's the way the kids playing it yeah at least you know what i mean he's He's playing it with, like, Dennis, not Dennis. Now I'm just thinking Dennis fucking Farina. Like Dustin Hoffman, just without all the talking. Yeah. You know, it's like less chatter. Was Rain Man autistic? Now, I feel like I don't know much about anything.

And I don't want to say the wrong thing. I'm pretty sure Rain Man was actually diagnosed as autistic. Yeah. Well, there's also, like, varying degrees of autism, is the deal. And now, where did, now, where did Idiot Savon? conference. That sounds like a negative thing. I think we retired that one.

I think the night that they retired Magic Johnson's jersey, we retired the phrase idiot savon. Why was that the same night? It just so happened. They had the floor anyway. Yeah. Was it like printed out on the back of a jersey? They hung idiot savant in the rafters of the Staples Center.

Is that what you're saying? They also put, I guess when they retired Bob Cousie, they retired Simple. You can't say simple anymore That they usually coincide them With basketball player retirements Let me tell you This kid, little big league Jimmy is the name of the little brother

Luke Edwards I want to say his name is there Yeah that sounds sort of right He is charming in this movie Yeah This little kid And I'll tell you who's not the charming And I want to harp on it once again It's fucking Fred Savage in this movie

Fred Savage is a detestable character In this movie Again like Tom Cruise Tom Cruise's character in Rain Man one of the cinema's worst characters. That guy's a big

scumbag. Right? About the same height as Fred Savage, too. And I think they're both wearing really baggy

khakis. Man, the clothes that they've got Fred Savage. So let's start at the beginning here. So Fred Savage, this is the younger

brother Jimmy, older brother Christian Slater. We got a broken home situation here. And for some reason this is left as a mystery throughout the

movie. Like you don't really get like, why what happened to this family until sort of the middle to the end of it the sister yes yeah the sister there's we got a dead kid situation on our hands here

tore the family apart it did it did and basically for some reason Fred Savage and Christian Slater are half brothers with Jimmy correct and who had a twin sister named Jennifer who drowned in the lake and that fucked up the whole family in Bow Bridges

went one way and his the mother married Sam Sam McMurray. Sam McMurray, again, just playing your classic asshole father. That guy's got that role down to his science. He's been doing it for 30 years, man. I think he's done as many scumbag fathers as John Goodman's hosted Saturday Night Live. So wait, hold on a, hold the phone.

Okay, the phone's been held. Yeah, take it off the hook. Now, wow, an off the hook reference. Come on. We don't want anyone calling right now. We're trying to talk. So, yep. So, all right, now, Bo Bridges, so these are half-brothers of Jimmy.

Where's the other, so he would, where's the other woman? Yeah, I don't know what happened to the original mother, Fred Savage's mother. She was recast to the original one. No, that's right. She was entombed in Wrigley Field. That's where that, that's where that accent came from. We have to put this accent away once and for all. I was wondering if she mysteriously drowned in a lake as well,

and then you could maybe see a pattern. Oh, yeah, Bob. Bridges, huh? Yeah. Oh, no, first my wife now, my daughter. I better go to Hawaii and see what my brother, George Clooney's up to. Man, Bo Bridges is fucking great in the descendants. He's kind of great in everything, right?

That's actually true. That's true. But I'll tell you this. Bow Bridges stars in a movie where he gets obsessed with playing Nintendo in Fleabag Motels. Jeff Bridges stars in movies where he gets sucked into beautiful video. video game worlds and plays with sexy characters. Talking about Tron. No, I know.

I know you are. Also, Tron Legacy. I'm kind of just getting lost in the story. Oh, yeah, man. Look, you get a few tall glasses of water, some Tron or Tron Legacy on Blu-Rae. I think Bowbridge should have been sucked into Super Mario Brothers 3. Oh, that's a good idea.

Oh, then it turns into Nick Arcade. So, come on in with Boe Bridges. And he accidentally sits on a mushroom and witty. I didn't know. That's how you killed these guys. Jimmy has been running away from home, like, daily, practically. That's how we start. A child in the desert being chased by an airplane. Let me tell you, just once, I want someone to be looking for me in an airplane.

Like, I got him. We spotted him. You know, it'll happen. Then they kind of carry Grant north by northwest. Like, this fucking plane's, like, six feet off the ground. It's kind of like the beginning of Empire Strikes Back. That fat guy's like, we found them. Repeat, I've found them.

You know that that guy thought he was such hot shit when he got back to the Hoff base. Oh, yeah. Look who found him, motherfucker! That guy was getting laid tonight. Oh, man. That fucking Skywalker was fucking that tauntone.

I don't know what happened. He was pulling out of it. I don't know. I saw the whole thing. Split it right open. That guy's hung like a doo-back. I found. them i'll tell you what i found them

gather around everyone hear the story of how i found them was that anyone important though that wasn't dack it wasn't no i don't know if it was dack it was just the guy that's like um isn't he like the co-pilot with uh skywalker to get stepped on by the a t a yeah i'm gonna take on the whole empire myself good luck buddy

yeah i think it was the ghost of porkins that found them actually how do you kill william hootkin in that first movie. I would love like... Save it for the sequel. It's clear that Lucas didn't know he was getting a sequel because he wouldn't have killed

William Woodkins, had he known. How about surprise, Forskos? It turned out he was a Jedi. We didn't know. I'm a what? Say! How about some Force Ghost sandwiches up in here? Porkens would have made

the most useless Force Ghost. Well, Alec Guinness is getting really lippy. Might have to put Porkins in there. Porkins, you got any advice for me? No. Eat in his ghost sandwich. Enjoy every sandwich.

I'm moderately good at flying planes. It's kind of like the seventh best guy. Not so good at landing them. Oh, all right, PD, Porkens. So whatever, he gets, he narrowly gets kidnapped a billion times. Sam McMurray, again, like, here's the thing. We're in a kid power situation. Nintendo power?

Kid power. It was 80s. kid power though which is weird 80s kid power much more adult yeah uh than 90s kid powers before Nickelodeon ruined the whole thing all the values are flipped like I'm sorry this kid is severely either severely autistic or severely traumatizes the movie says he is he uh is can't be contained in his home he's not getting the right proper care at home they're like hey let's put him in a facility for a little while and just see what that does and everyone was like fuck that man well Well, Sam McMurray poses this whole thing very poorly because he is like, let's lock him up and throw away the key.

It's not let's just have him diagnosed, maybe have some therapy, try to suss out what's going on here. Sure. He's like, get this thing out of here, which is not the way you want to approach that as the stepdad in the situation. And now, God, I know we talked about it, but this is, this is, Jimmy is Bo Bridges' biological child. Yeah. And he's just like, yeah, whatever, not my problem. Well, I, I, with, right? He's just like, he's kind of like, I don't, in the start of the movie, when Fred Savage is going off on his Addison Avenue rant there.

Bo Bridges is just like, well, I don't have custody of him. Like what? And the thing is like, he's got, he's already got his hands fucking full. You're, you're trying to raise a teenage Christian Slater and a my God, Fred Savage. I guess. Solomon presided over the divorce, and he's like, I'll split this family in half. And then he's like, nobody's going to stop me? Usually somebody jumps in and says, I'd rather take, I'd rather someone not split the thing in half and somebody else can get it.

Well, right down the middle then. Oh, one died on that side. That's your problem. Should have negotiated with Solomon. Now Solomon's got to go. And we've got crass, teenage Christian Slater, man. I don't, where his dad's, Bo Bridges are making some bad casserole

and he's like, man, that can't be one of the four major food groups. And it's like, oh, I know that's a Christian Slater line. That's just exactly a Christian Slater line. Exactly. And it's like, here's Bo Bridges, struggling to fucking make one day lead

into the other one successfully. And it's just like, you expect us to eat that or what? And it's like, oh man. But in Christian Slater's defense, You see this prop casserole that they've got? It's black on top. Burnt to a crisp.

He's got a point in this case. But overall, he's probably an obnoxious prick. So Fred Savage just can't have it because Boe Bridges and Christian Slater are going at it. It's a scream match. Yeah, he's like, you will never be as good as your fucking brother man. And he's like, well, you're just a fucking teenage Jack Nicholson. They go back and forth and back and forth. And it gets really ugly for it.

a while. So Fred Savage is just like, I'm going to get out of here. I'm going to go break my brother out. We're going to go on an adventure. And so he goes to this home and sneaks in there. The worst home I've ever, like he... Oh, it's rough. He just walks right in like he owns the

place. It's like, hey, you want to get out of here? He's like, sure. Because it's Fred Savage in the late 80s and he fucking walked wherever he wanted to. That's Fred Savage just used to it. It's just used to it. People catering to him. Is every Fred Savage Whim.

So many people kissed his ass. Oh, yeah, dude. Remember, what was it? Kramer on Seinfeld? I just rewatched that episode the other day. Oh, man. So, yeah, they do a jail break.

But, man, this is a house of horrors that this kid's stay in it. It's a lot of kids with, like, just ghost white faces watching broken TVs. Someone somewhere is faintly crying and you can't figure out quite where.

I mean, it's probably haunted. This is where I grew up, apparently. But they escape in a hostess cakes truck. Man, that's my getaway vehicle if I ever saw it. I was like, those lucky ducks. Look at that. I'd hitchhike all the way to the coast with that thing. The ghost of Porkens guided them to it.

Like, come on, boys. You must go to hostess. The hostess system. The hostess system. There you'll find devil dog who trained me. yeah i mean it's a big fat hostess truck it is and you know god bless him and you know here's another thing fred savage they get out of this truck for whatever reason i don't know to stop to use the bathroom at one point and like the little jimmy's got like chocolate all over his face and he's like god you're

such a pig jimmy oh god look at your face and i'm like you shut up fred savage well the one thing that Jimmy says is California. That talk about a faint cry that you can't quite figure out the direction it's coming from. This kid's saying California is bone chilling. He went on to form Phantom Planet. You know what?

He could have been playing bass in Phantom Planet. He was famous enough, right? He was just famous enough to be in Phantom Planet. Not famous enough to drum in Phantom Planet, though. So what you realize is he's just going to take him on this road trip to get him to California for, you know, Fred Savage doesn't know why. He just knows he's got...

Oh, gosh, you don't want to go to Wrigley? I got tickets to Second City. They're really expensive. Oh, come on, Jimmy. We could go get a deep dish at Gino's East. Yeah, the Ghost of Porkens weighs the food options in California and Chicago. It's like, you might want to go to Chicago, kid. I mean, better tacos, sure.

Now, because he's a rad dude, they give Fred Savage a skateboard in this movie. He never uses it. It's just a useless piece of luggage. Dude, show me Fred Savage getting on this skateboard. I'll give you $1,000. Right away, I hadn't seen this movie in probably like 20 years. And I was like, he doesn't.

use that skateboard in his movie. I remembered almost nothing about this movie, except that he definitely doesn't skateboard at any point. But he's dragging it around. And at some point, Jenny Lewis has to drag this fucking skateboard all over the place. You're breaking Chekhov's radical rules of drama right now by showing a skateboard in the first act and not having someone rail on it in the third act. You've got to do an Ollie in the third act. They show them sitting on it at one point and they're going down a hill and like almost get crushed by a truck in desert. And that's another weird thing. They're just hitchhiking through the deserts of Utah or whatever. And you're just watching car after car pass by these children on the side of the road.

And it's like, did no one care? No one in the great state of Utah. And people are giving them rides too. Like you have a moral obligation. Oh, like, oh, sure, sure. I'll give you a ride and give you a free meal. You call the police when the kids having a nice meal. I'd be like, all right, that's it. Into custody. At one point, a little later in the film, these things. These, like, shit kickers just rob them. Like, they're just, they're like, oh, yeah, sure, I'll give these little kids a ride. That's the, they have money. Now it's time to grab them.

Well, they get robbed for $80 to rob three children of their only $80. Yeah, that's rough. That's pretty low. And leave that destitute on the side of the highway. Honestly, if you're going to do that, if you're going to go that far with it, yeah, dig a couple shallow pits. Finish the job. Exactly.

Finish what you started. It's 1989. No one's ever going to find them. And people laugh at the idea of DNA evidence. You could do whatever you fucking wanted. And I think maybe this movie's not that unrealistic. And maybe it's just showing us a window into our past. Oh, okay.

Oh, I see. You could do anything back then. You could literally do anything. Well, I do think this movie is phenomenally irresponsible that the dangers of children, A, running away and be hitchhiking, are never realized or actually even played with. Well, we were talking about this earlier in the week.

The 80s totally glamorized the idea of running away from home. Like this movie, Stand By Me's kind of running away from home for a little bit. And it's just kind of like, man, the Goonies, they run away from home. It's like, man, if I ran away from home, I could have some pretty cool adventures out on the open road. You know who ran away from home? Luke Skywalker. You're right. Poor kids also ran away from home, but that was a totally different situation.

Yeah, he didn't work out for him. He caught a hostess ship. Yeah, he worked for snowballs for 10 long years. So the family realizes that Fred Savage has stolen Jimmy and enter one of the most bizarre choices for a character. Mr. Putnam, professional child kidnapper? Well, he's a child hunter. This is like, this is like a bounty hunter situation.

They should have got the guy from Raising Arizona. That's a good baby hunter. That guy was pretty good at hunting babies. That biker by, who played that, Rex Cobb or something? Randall Texcob. There you go. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what?

That guy somehow less creepier than Mr. Putnam in this movie. Here's the thing, though. Or Boba Fed? He's no use to me dead. Get that little rain man back here. Or maybe Bosque? Or Dengar? Dengar's hunting kids.

You do need a niche when you're up against the likes of Bobafet, IG88, and Bosk. Yeah, Dengar, I can tell you, for a fact, Dengar's hunting kids. What else does he have a diaper on his head? That's his, like, calling card. It's like a budget. ears around his throat he's got a diaper on his head because it was like i don't know like a mr mom the pacifier type of star wars movie that was happening before this where to hunt precocious kids and they were tossing shit around the house space house but here's my thing is a guy that i mean

like yes he's a child bounty hunter and that's how he's portrayed in the movie but like a guy that like hunts down runaways to get them back with their family is actually a really good dude you You know what I mean? Like, but not with the way Mr. Putnam is written. No, I know. But as I'm saying, this movie, it's because the kids rule and grown-ups drool, it's like, oh, the worst thing in the world would be this square, delivering, getting these kids off the dangerous road and getting them back with their parents. The problem, this is, it seems so weird and out of place and creepy, because it's kind of like a lost archetype slash job, like the truancy officer. Yeah, yeah.

Of like, oh, you kids better be in. school. Well, my question, and maybe I just missed it, but why are we foregoing calling the police in this situation? They do call the police and the police are like, oh, well, look, but also this guy's better at it. Jesus, he's recommended by the police department? I think so. It's also like Sam McMurray's got so much money. He's like, only the best for finding this child, which good on you, Sam McMurray. But, you know, I mean, this, this, this, Mr. Putnam just, he misrepresents. himself well because he goes up to boat bridges immediately he's like look i get paid by the kid man you better not you better not get in my way and make getting the way of my check listen asshole don't

you go looking for your own kid because if you find him first putman don't get paid that's the problem he's not doing it for the good of the child's welfare no he's doing it to make a buck And why are you not just a person who finds people? Why is it you decided, Mr. Putnam, to specialize in tracking down kids? Because that's creepy too. Yeah, this dude, I mean, this guy has at least 14 instances in this movie of going up to complete strangers and just going,

hey, I'm looking for a couple of kids. And you're just like, man, the 1980s. Like, this guy would have been picked up. Well, nowadays, back then, totally acceptable. Oh, yeah. You could look for your kicks wherever you want. So, and the funny thing about Fred Savage's character to go back to him. Yeah.

Aside from being baby Dennis Frina, he is, like, so precocious and, like, could talk his way out of every situation. Like, he's a really smart kid, right? He goes up to a bus station. He's like, two tickets for kids. California, please. Okay, sure. That'll be like $380. Which is pretty good for

1980s money. It's like, oh, all I got is $28. Where's that going to get me? And I'm like, dude, you can't pull this little rascals horse shit. This kid knows what money is. I'm sorry. Exactly.

He has to know what money is. And the character gets all upset because when the bus station, like, ticket seller is like, that'll get you to the next stop in Utah. He's like, you got to be Shit, me. You're like, come on.

Are you telling me that I could get a couple of Chicago dogs, but I can't get out of the state? It's like this little turd knows how money works. You know what I mean? Yeah. And this is when we get introduced to Jenny Lewis of rock and roll fame. Formerly of Riloh Kiley, now a very successful solo artist. Yeah, and she's great in this movie, I think.

No, she's auditioning for Annie the whole time. She's way too old in this movie to be playing Annie, first of all. But, like, she's just really precocious and, like, really... It's better than Fred Savage. I mean, it would almost have to be... I realize it as soon as I said it, it would almost have to be better than Fred Savage. I'm sorry, I fucking hate it.

He does not age well, but at the time, he was America's sweetheart. He was America's daughter. I know. Everyone just wanted to pinch his cheek. It's horrible. It's so horrible. I love that he directs a bunch of great TV now. Although you couldn't pay me to watch The Grindr.

Yeah. But, you know, he's directed a lot of like, it's always sunny. I'm glad he's made a career for himself behind the camera. As I've gotten older, I find myself siding with his emotionally abusive father on the Wonder Years a little bit. Isn't that weird how that happens? Yeah, I'm just sort of like, I don't know, man. That guy just wants to go home after a day of work. Yep.

I just want the peace and quiet. I just want it. I really do, Fred Savage. I don't need your antics Totally I don't need to talk to you about Winnie every four hours The best acting on that show

Is when that dude just gave Fred Savage a look Oh yeah man Just a fucking look Dan uh what was his name Dan Sama Dan Soria I believe was the actor's name Still is he's still alive

I don't know why I was past tenseing Dan Loria There was a great episode of Smallville where Dan Loria gets pyrotechnic powers. What? He's a school coach. He's a football coach and is burning his like unresponsive students to death with like carry powers.

Oh, that's pretty cool. Yeah. I've never seen a second of that show. Is it worth it? No, it's not. It's not worth the second you haven't seen. Fair enough. And put your tweets down.

Hashtag don't care. Um... So, Jenny Lewis is like, oh, by the way, this is our introduction to Nintendo because it's so important in this movie. Oh, right. As Fred Savage is bartering with this guy for like $28 and a fucking rookie card, like an idiot. Can you take some gum his currency? Come on, kid. And like, he goes, oh, play double dragon.

Jimmy, go ahead. And he plays double dragon. And he has like a three-minute exchange. He goes back and he's like, you got 50,000 points of double dragon. Bullshit. It takes two and a half minutes for that chick to get punched in the stomach in the beginning of double dragon. No way anyone is scoring 50,000 points. Dude, I love that they show the stomach punch in this movie.

It is the most unnecessary thing in video game history. It is. This woman being assaulted in 8-bit animation. It's great because it gives you motivation. You're like, oh, I better write this wrong. I was motivated enough when Princess Peach was just. cutely kidnapped by King Cooper. Honestly, a nice knee to the gut would have helped me.

If I got to see that lizard just slam that princess, I would have been like, oh, this is a bad dude. That would have been jumping on all these mushroom heads right now. Exactly. I would, it would be, I would have won. I would have finally won Marios. It's an, Mario's. That was the cereal they had.

Well, there's, okay, there, um, the, um, the Mario brothers, right? So Mario, Mario and Luigi Mario. Oh, they are the Mario's. Yeah, there you go. You know what? You were right. No, but Steve, you're totally right. The way that this movie uses points in video games, I mean, it's so bizarre because first of all, and maybe I was the only one, but was anyone given a shit about points in Nintendo games like that? No, I mean, you give a shit about points in like Donkey Kong, like the older 8-bit games, like high score Frogger. I mean, just in the arcade so you could write ass or sex.

Yeah. Oh, that's a good one. I should have thought of that. But, like, no one cares about points in double drag. And nobody cares about points in Mario Bros. You want to get to the next level. You want to beat the game. Exactly.

Yeah. And that's the weird misunderstanding that this movie has with Nintendo games. Because, like, I get it for the final championship thing. That's how you're going to suss out who wins the game. But every other time, like, these kids are. playing for points and it's like no one paid attention to that. It was just who can clear the

stage. But I guess because this is about video game gamblers. Oh man, is it ever? It's a different culture. You're right. Yeah, these are the real low-life gamers. It's kind of like white men can't jump with Nintendo, right?

Jenny Lewis wants to get on Jeopardy, right? I could have used some white men can't jump levels of profanity in this movie. The one thing is they never well they almost get beat the shit out of them like Woody Harrelson consistently gets the crap kicked out of him in what men can't jump.

One of the best joys of watching that movie. So basically Jenny Lewis over here is that she's like hey I was going to Reno but wow your little brother's really good at video games. Let's form a triad or something. Yeah well that's how we're going to have an adventure. Sure.

You know she's alone. They're alone. They go to a diner and they suss it out and then they can i just pause right there again i'm sorry three little kids walk into a diner hey ma'am can i have a table for three hello police department there's three children looking for a table at this diner it and they're hustling people for cash well they they might tip well i don't know oh because you think they're like little pea brains won't understand tipping and fred savage will leave like 20 bucks on a three dollar bill Maybe.

So the funny thing, they hustle a group of businessmen at this point. He's like elderly. It's like fucking Statler and Waldorf. It's amazing. Yeah, they just spent their day selling Bibles or God knows what vacuum cleaners. I'd love it. It's just two of the dudes from the Maisel salesmen. We're taking a break from selling Bibles to just play an arcade game.

Hey, better movie. But it's ridiculous because Fred Savage is like, Like, or is it Jenny Lewis? One of them's like, hey, you know, this kid can take you. And these two old men are like, oh, really? It's like, you know what? But age that down a bit. But Freddie here is the best at Ninja Gated.

It would be impossible. Yeah, right. Like any of these guys cared. No, they would not care. And it's like, you know, you're not shooting pool. That would be like, that's an old man with a cigarette. hanging out kind of sport oh yeah if this kid went up to minnesota fats and tried to play pool with them that would be something and if you're wanting over on them they just

break those cues over your back it'd be great if in the middle of this movie they try to hustle forest whittaker and uh-oh big mistake i could use the nice forest whittaker cameo is all i'm saying i'm praying for forest whittaker at least once a month with all this stuff we're watching Oh, absolutely. Get him in Dungeons and Dragons? Oh, man. He would have been great in that movie. So are we going to do the Pelican Brief or what? The answer is yes. So they just start hustling.

At this point, they do get robbed by a bunch of truckers or whatever. Well, and this is the obnoxious thing where Jenny Lewis reveals like, oh, my dad's a trucker. And there's the trucker code. And I got an in with truckers or whatever. And so these dudes are like letting these kids sit in the back of their cattle truck And where I presume they're just being like shit on by cows Oh yeah you just don't see that happening though Cow pies everywhere

And the dude like kind of looks back and Jenny Lewis is just counting these fat stacks And those guys like 80 dollars ladies Well well well it's 1989 so that's $280 Also A lot of money bar That could pay your college tuition Hey, Barr, look at that. These truckers got a heft

off these kids bar. I don't want to regulate the video games. I don't want to cut down the video game gambling industry bar. It's bringing a lot of bucks. Everybody's got to make a living bar. Who are we to judge? You want to hustle Ninja Gaden?

That's your prerogative bar. Get out there and hustle that bubble, bubble bar. Oh, no. W just lost 300 bucks playing Rigar. Hey, Poppy, you cover me for this next Dr. Mario round or what? I don't know, Barr, when's he getting out of the house? I don't know.

Junior's not really cutting it. You see Jeb out there and he's doing things. Junior's here in the house, playing the video games. Jeb's a fucking Tetris master and the governor of Florida bar. Oh, mercy. So they beat the shit. Actually, awesome. First of like two or three times in this movie, Fred says,

Savage is getting punched in the face. Oh, yeah. It's awesome. Yeah. He gets decked by this trucker because he's like, hey, get your damn hands off my money. And this guy's like, oh, yeah, little baby, punch. Head flies off, rolls down the inner state. And I mean, like, yeah, that's a little bit giving the idea of the danger of the road.

But never do they run into anyone with a long trench coat. Like, I'll give you kids a ride. Oh, yeah, totally. What are you going to sleep in my apartment for the night? Like, that guy never should. shows up. And again, I don't want this to be that movie, but like, that guy needs to show up and be thwarted or be

like, uh, you know, they're too smart and like they, they know what stranger danger is or whatever. That's a big problem for me in this movie. They don't acknowledge stranger danger at all. So there should be like a message to children like, hey, don't go into that van or whatever. Exactly.

Because this whole movie is predicated on the idea that like these kids are just like tiny adults because they like tell off adults left and right they talk to adults as if they are also adults right and they are like 12 what are they how old are they in this 12 10 no 10 to 12 the kid is probably 8 you know I think Jenny Lewis is supposed to be older than Fred Savage okay maybe by a little bit well they you're talking total tops like 13 yeah right well hey you know under many religions that's manhood No, Barr. They better get out there and start earning. I don't care how they make it.

Everybody's got to grow up sometime, Barr. So yet now... I'm saying, Barr, they work in factories over their bar, and they're killing us. They're killing us, Barr. Killing us. The trade. Might as well work in factories here. And now here's another opportunity where there could have been some serious stranger danger,

but they, like, play on what the audience's assumptions are because they're like, now what are we going to do? And this, like, tough-ass biker gang. rolls up and I'm like, oh man, come on, Fred Savage, tire iron to the face, let's do it. Seriously, this is where I thought that stranger danger was going to happen because bikers, well, you know, they're known, especially in this timeline back then. In the movies. In the movies and in real life.

Sure. If you've ever read a book or two, they're known for stomping. Yeah. And they love stomping teens. And you're stomping in the middle of the. the desert dude who's going to stop you aside from the Lord Above No one. Oh yeah

Larry's the best one at Chipperdale Rescue Rangers And if he doesn't win Larry gets real upset Man I played that game For hours Side note the Lord Above is Sonny Berger

Of the Hells Angels He says what happens But no They just get a nice ride to the next town. They do a lot of like sleeping in train yards. Again, like come on. It's just that's Hobo Central. Yep. That's the thing is

like it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's hitch and a ride on the train car yeah Jimmy Crack Corn it's it's the beautiful hobo myth of this country that has I guess kind of vanished but but we did romanticize them for a while

they rode the rails there was a bunch of friendly boxing match I think in the 80s, we loved hobo culture. A beautiful fire in a barrel under a bridge and the moonlit sky? You know, where did that get Don Draper? Huh? Nowhere. Because she got out of him in a hotel room for no good reason.

I'll tell you where it got them. It got them to a high rise in Manhattan, making more money than you'll ever think of. Yeah, that's true. It got him right to Madison Avenue. Right. You need that hard life in order to persevere. You know, you got to get up and keep moving. Bob Benson. Now I'm imagining

an advertising executive now and there's like a retro gaming convention and he has to do something for it and he's like, I remember the first Ninja Turtles came the most important. I was living on the rails,

hustling for money and like I was like, oh my God, he's giving the way his secrets. This guy is some type of game genie. Whatever. We cut back to the mother goes away

this movie might have been produced by Disney because this mother's a real shit bag yeah like she's just a complete monster

Disney movies did hate mother characters quite a bit still do then what's a recent Disney hating mothers

movie oh good question uh Wally they're all fat pigs that's true well everyone's a fat pig on those motorized

chairs but Wally is a cautionary tale you see everything's a caution Harry tale. This movie isn't. This movie's a fucking fantasy land.

So they cut, Christian Slater and Beau Bridges are on the road. Oh, right. Sleeping in motels. They run a foul of Putnam, the boy catcher, I guess. Professional child hunter.

Right, he takes out his net gun. I wish he had a net gun. Net gun, some like tranquilizer darts maybe. What if Syrax was hunting this kid? Oh, yeah. Yeah. in order to hunt a video gamer,

I got to dress like a video game. It would be perfect because he'd be a video game from the future. Yeah. Oh, man. If you made this movie and it was basically like Terminator, but with Cyrax, and he sent back in time to save Jimmy, but also make sure that Fred Savage is assassinated.

But, dude, here's a fucking twist. Oh, my God. Who did the opposite side from the future send back? Sector. Oh, shit. So now you've got Sector hunting both of them and Sirex trying to get Fred Savage and these kids. Yep. No, I'm all about it. I think it's a fantastic idea. I want to see a screenplay draft in like six to eight weeks. I think we can do this. I think we can set something up. We can sort of shoehorn it in as an unrelated Reket Ralph, too. I think we got something. It's in the universe of Reket Ralph. It's a shared cinematic universe.

But Christian Slater is like sleeping with his dad in a bed. You know, they're just in a motel room. Like this is going nowhere fast. No, he's, they're sharing a bed because, you know. It's a flea bag motel. Yeah, and it's a real Stan and Ollie kind of situation who's got the covers. This is what I didn't understand about something in this movie because I never did this because it was such a pain in the ass.

Christian Slater is traveling with his Nintendo console. No way, man. And it's so unrealistic. He sets this thing up to this motel TV in two seconds flat. You find me anyone who could set up a Nintendo console in that quick a time in 1989. Oh, man. I was pretty good at it. I'll be honest with you.

Really? Like, you didn't have to do the thing when you're clipping the fucking UHF wires to the back with the screwdriver. Oh, right, right, right. And then, of course, he's putting this game on and it's working right away. I don't think so. Where's the blowing in it? Where's the rubbing alcohol in the Q-tip to clean the game off? Unrealistic Nintendo technology.

Well, they do establish that this particular console he's using was damaged and he had already fixed it. Oh, so he's playing a modded console, you're saying? I don't know what it wasn't working and he was able to, so I'm sure there was like 50 minutes of him blowing on it before. Before the scene started. That's interesting you brought that up because it's kind of a dropped thing in this movie where, like, in one of their many arguments that they have, Bo Bridges basically says, like, that Christian Slater is kind of like a loser and he's directionless and whatever. Right. He stole his pickup truck and now he's drinking.

Right. And so when he says like, oh, yeah, I fixed the fucking thing. Bo Bridges is kind of like, you see him have this thought like, well, my son fixed something. Well, maybe he's good at this. But then they never go back to it. ever again. This whole thing gets dropped. It's like them trying to bond on the road and like whatever

and it just kind of goes nowhere. But what I don't understand is how is it that they are tracking these kids anywhere and that like they wouldn't be Bowbridge's and Christian Slater like go to someplace and then this fucking child hunter comes in like he blows

into the next town exactly when they do and I'm like where are you getting your intel from? I mean there's so many instances in this movie of people reading maps and not knowing where they're going. I do think since the one thing the kids said was California, they're assuming that they're going west from Utah.

By the way, are they secret Mormons in this movie? What's going on? I don't think so. Okay. I feel like I'm seeing a lot of Pepsi consumption in this movie. All right, that's fair. I can't put my finger on it. You know what I could have used in this movie? Speaking of Baby Jack Nicholson, right?

Christian Slater here. How about, you know what? There's not much going on for me here, man. Yeah, five easy pieces out of this, ish, right? Oh, yeah. Like, go up to a trucker and be like, take me as far as you can, you know? Gonna leave Karen Black in this bathroom with Bow Bridges. Bo Bridges is having a hearty's shit in the bathroom.

That's a good time. You could solicit a lot of things while that's going on. Totally. Christian Slater just hops a lumber truck and gets out of there. Exactly. Oh, that would be pretty cool. It would be great. Then he goes on to...

He gets to California and then he's adopted by another family and he becomes hard on Harry. Happy Harry Hardon, rather. Exactly. From pump up the volume. I would love this

just to drop everything and become a Christian Slater movie. Not enough Christian Slater in this movie. Not by a country mile. And it's a crime. It is a crime. The best part of this movie is Bo Bridges

beating the shit out of this car with the shovel. Because the boy catcher cuts his tires. I am the boy catcher. He cuts Bo Bridges' tires. Big mistake. Bo Bridges is like a landscaper.

He's got this shovel. And it is fucking John Goodman in a... Big Lobowski. This is what happens, Larry. This is what happens. Exactly. Oh, man. When you fuck Bo Bridges in the ass, this is what happens.

He goes ape shit on this car. Real deal question. Bo Bridges with a shovel, John Goodman with a bat, who wins. Oh, John Goodman with a bat. But it is a man of steel-esque fight where the fucking world goes down, right? Oh, totally.

Like, they could raise a town that fight. Bridges with shovel, Goodman with bat. Oh, yeah. I would love to see that. You just get out there, like one of them small western towns,

maybe population, oh, 1,200. They'd burn it to the ground with that fight. It'd be fighting day and night the sun would go down. They'd be fighting the sun. would go up. People would be vanished in that fury and they'd just be like the burnt in shadow on the

sidewalk like it's Hiroshima. Yeah, you're not wrong. It would be an ultimate fight. Yeah. I'd watch it. I'd watch that movie. It'd be better than Batman v. Superman calling Donna Justice. Of course, because this would be colon cancer.

They're getting on in their year. The point is once you're of that age bracket, you need to get Men, when you hit 40, you've got to get that colonoscopy. Exactly. You've got to get the finger up there. Oh, we just got our education credit. We can move on now.

We are moving to the educational section of iTunes. So, moving right along, this is when we meet my favorite character in the movie. They're just, they're doing some buskin, you know what I mean? Some video game hustling. Every day I'm hustling. And video games. This kid gets beat. He's like, yeah, you're good, but you're not Lucas good.

And they're like, Lucas. He's like, yeah, he's got every game. He's got tons of money. He wants to blow on video game gambling. They're like, yeah, sure, that exists. Take us to his house. First of all, when you're a gambler, big mistake going to a secondary location. Secondary location.

You don't also, you don't want people knowing where you live. Secondary location's bad enough. But when that secondary location is your place of residence, Lucas, you boob. Someone's getting their head blown off Or being stabbed 50 times in the chest It's almost like he's a little kid Who's in way over his head It'd be great if it was like that scene in rounders

When they like It's these two kids playing video games And it's all these cops for some reason And then they find out that they're dealing From the bottom They're using a game genie And they get stopped in the parking lot Lucas

You want cookie So Lucas By the way Is a lion-mulleted little kid with like a gorgeous hair gorgeous hair and like a 13 year old boy mustache oh man this kid this kid thinks he's so

cool with that little trash stash he is he runs this town this little caterpillar on his upper lip this turd oh man and I tell you something I would wager I would wager that the actor who played Lucas

got turned down for a role on home improvement oh really couldn't you see him playing one of those little shitty kids on that show? Maybe, but would you wager a game of Ninja Gaden on it? Yeah, dude, let me get out my power glove and we'll get right

to it. Get blowing. Got to fix that Nintendo. Oh, it looks like you're on Nintendis on the Fritz. Did you try blowing it? Oh, that's the problem. You got scammed. You bought a Nintende instead of a Nintendo. Happens all the time.

No, but Lucas is like, hey, I'm great at all 97 games that are out right now and opens up this little cool case with all these games, like pick a game, and I'll get more points than you because anyone would care. It's so stupid. And no one offers anybody orange soda.

I'm sorry, if you're inviting someone over to play video games, a glass of orange soda is customary. God, it was so good. This kid is such a rude piece of shit. Where are the parents in this situation, by the way, at Casa de Lucas? I think they're dead. I think, yeah.

It's a real kind of Larry Clark situation. It's all these kids running the roost. Yep. And I got to go catch them. You're not wrong. This is like this close away from being Kent Park, man. Ken Park, the motion picture, calling the wizard. I was kind of thinking of bully when all those kids are just working out in that parking lot.

Man, that guy is a AAA creep. I mean, he belongs in. jail. Like, what are you doing? But this is like Lucas's house is totally a Larry Clark movie. Those fucking parents are strung out somewhere or stuffed and dead in the fruit cellar like Norma Bates. Sure.

And these kids are running this place. Like there's people just hanging out. Hey, man, we'll be at Lucas's. And you're just there. You're probably smoking weed. Sure. There's like, do you think Lucas and his crew are smoking up? Oh, totally.

No, Lucas stays straight edge because he's got to, he's got a really. train up for the video games. Yeah, that's actually true, which is ironic because smoking weed and playing video games goes together like peanut butter and jelly. Just putting that out there. I mean, who are you fucking kidding, Lucas? Well, that's a schedule one night.

You can't do that. And not professionally. I mean, Lucas is trying to make it to the big time. There's a big do you think they drug test? Dude, is, is fucking is weed the performance enhancing drugs of professional gaming? You can probably find the

Pattern's a little easier, maybe. It just helps my concentration, man. I just zone out and it's gait in time. Maybe Lucas was using dude. And then years later, like Lance Armstrong, he's like exposed. A doping scandal, you think? Dude, and it turns out that like for a decade, Lucas has been bullying other teammates into hushing up about it,

threatening to ruin their own gaming careers. Oh, man. Guaranteed. Yeah, dude. Oh, man, I want this Lucas sequence. Lucas, 2016, the dude's 40, his life goes down in flames due to a professional gaming doping scandal. So I want a draft of the screenplay in about six to eight weeks.

I really think we can work this one out today. We got a little studio coming. We got a lot of assignments. Well, I'll help. I'm just saying. All right. Well, that's, someone's got to keep us organized. That's two for you.

Now, I want you to finance that Dengar Child Care movie. Dwayne the Rock Johnson As Dengar Yeah We'll never be able to get the licensing rights from Disney That one's a pipe dream Well they like kids movies Oh that's true

We just write in a shitty mother And they'll take it in two seconds Right yeah maybe Dengar's got to work her over a little bit So Lucas is like Hey man You want to see what really catches the babe's eyes And he pulls out this power glove And it's like

I didn't take it out for air. Yeah, and he just slowly puts this tight power glove on. He's like, hey, who's horny? Well, this kid's like, Fred Savage's like, what the hell is that? Ah, shit, they don't have that, at Wrigley. And then he's playing with, like, Cruz and USA. Rad racer. And he's just like, he's got, like, he's, like,

Lucas is, like, standing up for some reason, first of all. and he's like leaning his shoulders back and he's just like he's got his arm out like he's like yeah I'm just cruising on the street man well dude you know as if the power glove ever worked exactly thank you this fantasy world where 1980s nintendo technology just works flawlessly i mean my god we were talking about fantasy movies a couple weeks ago with dungeon and dragons this is right up there yeah science fiction is this a gun from duck hunt barely work i mean what What's going to happen next? Was there a deleted scene where they broke out a power pad and it worked the first time?

Anyone ever have that robot you got with gyromite? No, I never did. It's pretty cool. Did it work? No, it did not. No. And then you know what? You got into the S&ES?

That fucking Superscope was garbage. And I want to save anyone time who's listening, who's getting nostalgic for the Nintendo days. That duck hunt gun does not work on flat screen TVs. Oh, wow. That makes sense. It leads the tube TV. It does. That's what's supposed.

I know. So that went in the trash. And then a down on his luck, Lucas was going through your garbage. Like, hey, man, they're still good. It's good stuff in here. Oh, man, an orange gun. So, like, Lucas is, like, ready to get the ladies. But Jenny Lewis is not impressed. No, she's not.

Although, uh, quick. Fred Savage's heart is a rock, though. He decides to call out his ownership of her. Oh, that's right. Oh, this is. Oh, Fred Savage. Yeah, he gets a little territorial, and it's kind of just the most embarrassing thing in this movie. Three feet shorter than her and Fred Savage. That's my girl, Lucas.

It's like, all he did was take out the power to love. Well, everybody, that is power. Everybody knows what that means. He did say I didn't take it out for air, which is, you know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's, you know. He did say that. It's a loose code.

But Jimmy gets, I guess, intimidated. By the way, this kid's named Jimmy Woods. That's kind of fun. Hey, it's little Jimmy Woods. Welcome to Hollywood. Hey, just, uh, all right, just put the cartridge into my chest. Put it into my chest. Oh, my God, I'm a fucking TV producer.

It's called Civic TV. It's going to fucking change the world. But you're right. So Jimmy sees this closeness happening and is like, oh, fuck, like my brother's going to leave me. And he runs away again. And then, I mean, stuff happens. We're sleeping at a drive-in movie theater at one point. That's heartbreaking.

They're sleeping in a junkyard. They do sleep in a junkyard. Or Fred Savage gets punched in the face for the second time in the movie. And like these three street tuffs who were like 18 years old, rob them again? Right, because they got, because they hustled these kids at the local pizzeria where Sparkle Motion herself came out and defended these kids. Oh, right. It's the woman from Donnie Darko, who's the coach of Sparkle Motion. 95.

It is. It's definitely her. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, she's just like this friendly diner waitress. She's tired of people gambling for video games, apparently. What world is this? Any fucking venue with an arcade tower has got husslers around it. I don't know, man. I've never seen anything like this.

It's grody as fun, I'll tell you that much. I spent my days at the cyber station. Hell, fucking, yeah, dude. I never saw anything like this. I never saw video game gambling. Certainly not amongst children. My local taco place had Mortal Kombat, too, and it was the coolest shit ever, man. I didn't see any money change hands.

Dude, my pediatric dentist had a sick Donkey Kong machine. Are you shitting me? I shit you not. I got to get an appointment there. Never saw any hustling going on in the waiting room there, either. The bodega called Sabah next to me had a pretty sweet super street fighter thing. And everyone would call the guy Sabah, even though that clearly wasn't his name. Yo, Sabah! Give me some cigarette, Sabah.

Oh, man. Yes, Mr. Stephen. More cigarettes. I did not. I was eight years old playing Super Street Fighter, eating way too many watch of a macawares. Well, it was a bodega in New York City. I'm sure they still sold you some cigarettes. They didn't have a problem with it. This is where it's revealed, by the way, about the whole dead sister situation. Because when these street tuffs beat the shit out of children very honorably, Jimmy's lunchbox breaks open And he's been carrying around this lunchbox

The whole movie's very protective of it And Fred Savage is like Man, I didn't know what was in that Thought it was some deep dish But it's like a little girl's shoe And a bunch of pictures And Fred Savage is like Nah, you shouldn't have done that

It's just a boy It's a little bit of a sling blade scenario Like what he's carrying around with him the whole time And here's a bunch of bullshit And it's like Fred Savage Continuing to be too cool for school in this movie. Because Jenny Lewis is like, what's all this stuff? And he's like, yeah,

don't worry about it. It's just our dead sister. And I'm like, dude, fuck you, man. He's clearly just so hurt by this still. And it's like, yeah, my stupid brother didn't get over the death of our sister quick enough. Anyway, who wants to make out? And Christians later

at the beginning of the movie is like, oh, it's been like two years, man. And it's like, yeah, but I'm eight. Two years is nothing. Yeah. But it's also, as Fred Savage recounts the tale, Jimmy watched her drown. Like, he saw it happen. Don't tell him it didn't happen.

He saw it happen. Oh, yeah, Jimmy saw it happen. And I was there, too, but I was too busy eating a super dog. You know, it had a whole peppers on it and a whole pickle. You get a peppercini on a hot dog. It's great. Where I'm from, but the rest of my family ain't. Where else but Chicago?

I mean, come on. there's uh and I've seen it again we're on a mission from God the creepiest thing I imagine an adult male or an adult director can ever have to do is direct two children to kiss

uh yeah Larry Clark loves it I just feel like it's really weird like there and apparently uh Eric you were telling me I'm going to throw you on the spot that this is Jenny Lewis's first kiss ever she said that in some inter see my wife's actually a Jenny Lewis super fan of

the music. Well, she's got good taste because Jenny Lewis makes great music. She had mentioned that apparently this was like her first kiss. That's really uncomfortable. And I looked, I poked this is weird, poking around

for first kisses on the internet. Oh, man, the cops are on their way to my house right now. If you could own a Larry Clark DVD, I'm fine. There's no Larry Clark in this house. Oh, I know, not you, but as in... Oh, I see.

The world at large could bring Larry Clark home on video. Hey, bring me home on video. That's like summoning a hellraiser in your house. You just want to get that anniversary Blu-ray of kids, don't you? Kids. I think there might be some- Making a movie called kids.

Oh, well, Lauren. Oh, man, they get AIDS in the end. Somehow it's considered the seminal film of 1990s filmmaking. Well, Larry, what are you doing after college? You're making a name for yourself in a holiday. Yes, I am. I'm directing a movie called Kids. Told you.

That's a real told you situation. Before the movie came out, it's a real told you. It definitely is. But apparently somewhere she had once said that it was, I guess, her first kiss. And I had looked it up and I saw there was an interview in which she did say that. And I saw there was another interview, which it seems like she did not say. that and I felt really weird looking up first kisses

felt like a real Larry Clark I just don't know why you needed the confirmation I was curious I didn't want to say something that was inaccurate that's fair heaven forbid we're inaccurate on we hate movies the internet would turn against us

the uh kids the movie called kids my next one's called bully They're all They're starring kids It's written by a kid named Harmony Corrin You know what Larry?

Maybe you don't come home for Thanksgiving next year I don't want to push you out in Hollywood You know you're making it big You stay out there and get your work done I told you I did a number on him Oh god So we get to Reno

Let's we get to Reno. We do get to Reno This is when Jenny Lewis is in all of her anniness, and she's like, I run Reno, man. She does. And this is like this absentee father who's taught her everything. Yeah. And it's weird. Like, this is another thing that makes no sense.

And I guess maybe Reno rules are different from Vegas rules, but I don't think so. These children, these children are just wandering through casinos. Oh, yeah. It's so much so that, oh my God. God, tell me. Was this the scene where there was, like, a child casino as well? There's a child holding pen where there's an arcade, but that's later. Which is essentially in this movie, definitely a child casino.

Yeah, that's definitely true. All right. No, this first casino is where they go in and she's like, hey, Spanky, here's how you play craps. Oh, my God, this guy Spanky. Now, you know, he's, now this guy's been in everything, right? I forget his name. I forget his name. He's one of those dudes.

he was like an ex-football player who turned into acting. He's enormous. For some reason I want to say like Stephen McRee, I don't know if that's right. Yes, that sounds kind of right. The only thing I remember him in specifically, like I mean, he has been in everything.

He played the put-upon captain in National Lampoons Loaded Weapon One. So there's that. No, yeah, he's actually, he's a welcome face of the 80s cinema. Yeah. You would have seen him and stuff. But this is where Jenny Lewis gets him to gamble for them.

And like we're talking kind of high stakes. We're talking like a pinky maybe. She coaches him through playing craps to like win a bunch of money for them. Poorly. This is not casino with a fucking Morse code device on their side. She's yelling shit across the floor. And he's like nodding like, okay. It takes them way too long to get.

kicked out of this casino. Yeah, they earn like over $400 and then he gets kicked out for gambling with kids. Which is kind of funny. Somebody gets their hand broke, by the way. You get kicked. Oh, yeah. You're fucking

you're in Reno rules, first of all. Yeah, you're probably not getting those chips cashed out. No, they're not letting you walk out with that money. No. Also, great observation here. All the security guards that kick these, this group of people out, fantastic mullets. The whole

Oh, it's great. You're working security in the 80s. These are a bunch of fucking diehard extras, if I ever saw them. This 400 bucks, I know we're in Reagan's America or in Bush's America, goes a long, long with, this is when we got a montage because she's like, all right, I'm going to book a hotel room without a credit card, even though we're three babies. It makes no sense. This is how the world used to work, man.

Not everyone had a credit card. You know what, Barr? I'm not going to regulate at what age. You get to rent a hotel. room. Kids need places to sleep too, Barr. You know, Barr, I think States rights with motels. Not going to tell the Taj Mahal

what to do, Barr. That's their business, not mine. They rent a hotel room and there's a montage of Jenny Lewis calling the Nintendo Power Helpline, I guess. Was this a real thing? I think there must have been. Could you call in and be like, I'm stuck at this level? Give me some of it. There were

hint lines. I think it was. Yeah. I think it was. fucking horrible job. But by the way, that $400 will not take you far in a fucking helpline, by the way. You know what I mean? Like, that's gone in a minute. Please hold.

That's a video game song, probably. Welcome to the Corey Nintendo Power Hotline. I like things. This is $4.99 a minute. Are you playing Zelda? Let me put my power glove on. Oh, yeah. Do you hear the silicone fabric?

Whatever this is made out of. And basically the kid catcher catches up with them after this montage. The montage takes forever. By the way, this guy's like, I kind of wanted to work at this Nintendo Power. I thought that, too. Yeah. It's like all these like kind of cool dudes. And they're like kicking up with their like, Nike's at their desk.

like playing video games be like hey man how could I help you everybody's cubicle has their own TV and Nintendo station I know it's better than any job so the kid catcher catches up with them and there's actually a really great extra in this scene

like he's by the pool Fred Savage is by the pool and he grabs them and there's this old man in a speedo oh man this octogenarian and a banana hammock by the way Was that Larry Clark? Told you.

And so he's, but he runs at a Fred Savage, but he doesn't care about Fred Savage because the bounty is on Jimmy. He's like, where's your brother? Where's your brother? I'm going to choke it out of you, you little shit. And then he sees him and he runs after him. And then Fred Savage calls for Jenny Lewis. And Jenny Lewis has the idea to scream out in a crowded casino at, like, because this guy is not doing a great job. He grabs this kid violently and is like walking out with this kid.

And it's like, he's whole. holding him, like, by his crotch, basically. Yeah, he's making a scene, is the problem. If you're going to be professionally kidnapping children, you give him a... Silent. Yeah, you give him a lollipop, shuts him up, makes him taste something, and then... Because he...

I don't know what... Wait a second. What? You know, you give him candy. Okay. It's clarifying that. Steve told you. Yeah.

The... You can't prove anything. But he does, he says this later, he has documentation about, like, from the parents, like, a custodial agreement. And, like, the first, if I'm, if I'm that guy, I'm like, before I enter the casino, I'm like, ladies and gentlemen, we haven't, we haven't escaped child. Here's our paperwork. Exactly. Paperwork first, grabbing them second. But he's grabbing this kid and Jenny Lewis yells out, he touched my breast.

And then these guys swarm on it. It's the same be-mulleted security guards at this casino. But they take this guy out. They drag him away. I think Jenny Lewis needs to give an official statement. Yes. Nothing comes of this. It's like, we got to get out of here.

Well, they just kind of like shove him on his ass and be like, you do that again, buddy. You're in real trouble. It's like, I've seen it up as few episodes. This guy's got to go in a database somewhere. No, well, first of all, this is casino justice. Well, no, that's, he's got to get his balls, man. Where is the scene where he's getting,

Bowbridge's style shovel to his throat. You know what would happen here, actually? This dude's digging his own grave. Oh, nice. Taking him out to the desert and digging your own grave. But, you know, some casinos, maybe this is one of them, completely outside U.S. law, right? Native American casinos.

Oh, yes. Do you think they're... Just murdering him? Yeah. I wish... That'd be great. I wish this movie just had a sweet casino murderment. Are you going to pay us for a screen?

script about a Native American casino. You're shooting too high. That's three scripts this week. We could do it. You guys are all working on spec, right? Yeah. It's like Bone Tomahawk, but it takes place in a casino. Holy fuck, that's awesome.

All we have to do is use the Bone Tomahawk script and cross out the names. Cross out Cave and write Casino. It's not even Native American. It's just like monsters. They're basically monsters in that movie. I love that movie, man. It's a good time. So, yeah, so Putnam is not murdered.

He kidnaps Jimmy again. Like, it happens twice in succession. Well, the second time is when they go to Jenny Lewis's house. Oh, right. Because she's been spinning this yarn about this great life that she has and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And they pull up to this trailer out in the middle of nowhere. Like, you know, Walter White's there crafting meth. Right?

And Fred Savage is like, Oh, hey, what's this piece of shit? Why are we here right now? And she's like, uh, this is my house. And he's like, this is where you'd think a character with any heart and dignity in him whatsoever would be like, oh my God. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to insult your house. He's like, thought you said you lived in a nice house.

What's this piece of shit? And I'm like, man, where's that casino justice on you, Fred Savage? This movie would be so fine without you, Fred Savage. Just have Jimmy run away. He bumps into Jenny Lewis. And the same movie happens. There's a seat in this movie where it's the Nintendo Power Helpline thing. What they're doing with that, by the way, we should mention,

is that she's getting all the tips on how to beat all the games so Jimmy can practice or whatever. Sure. So she says to Fred Savage, take this notation down to Jimmy who's, I guess, training at the casino. or whatever, casino arcade. And he's like, oh, God, now I got to go downstairs again. And it's like, she's on the phone going through this with this person. Your brother's downstairs practicing. You're doing nothing in this movie.

I hate this character. You're right. He's totally pointless. It's obnoxious. If you erase him, we can get a little more Christian Slater. Yeah. Fuck yeah, dude. Right, right.

Maybe he gets into some little adventures in the town, you know? She finds a girl. Gets on a pirate radio station. Sure. You want to keep bringing it back to that? I have to really re-watch, pump up the volume soon, or I'm going to blow. Yeah, I remember it being fun.

It's a great movie. It's a great movie. I've never seen it. Really? Oh, Steve, it turns out it's a great movie. The funny thing is, though, at this point, I guess, he tries to get, Jenny Lewis's house. kidnaps him again. This is where they have the kiss, by the way. They do have the awkward kiss. And then

Jenny Lewis is like, oh, no, that he got kidnapped by this guy that totally has the legal right to take him off this dangerous road trip and bring him safely back to his parents. Let me call my trucker friends that are going to meet this guy out in the desert. Oh, yep. And

facilitate a kidnapping, right? Because this is what this is. Pretty much. Because the kid capture, again, has this piece of paper that has a signed document from this guy, parents. Yeah, you know what, you know what? I'd just make him eat it. But he has legal custody of this child. But here's the thing. If this guy looked and acted more professional, these truckers wouldn't

have a problem with it. This guy's flying off the handle, screaming at these guys. If he was like, you know, like, I'm a private investigator with a tweed blazer. Yeah. You know, maybe I'd believe him, you know, but this guy. Oh, he looks like a child killer. He does. He's got like, uh, He's got lovely bones written all over. Talking about vampires. But you're right, Steve. If he looked more like fucking Robert Stack,

Robert Stack was always professional trying to solve those unsolved mysteries. Robert Stack, I'll trust with your kid. A missing child. This just in, a child who barely speaks, goes missing in Utah, saying only the words, California.

Have you seen these kids? probably hustling you out of money at an arcade. Call this tip lie. UFOs were spotted in the area. Are they related? Are they not? Do do, do, do, do, do, do.

Coming up next, werewolves. You guessed it. That show got off the deep end sometimes. They were clearly making anything up. It was two shows. It was two different shows. It was a mashup.

You're right. One of my most vivid memories of childhood was watching that show. Me too. And I remember one particular episode where it's just like, Robert Stack was all like, this pool is haunted. Like a backyard swimming pool? It was an indoor pool. Oh, fancy haunting.

In the reenactment, they showed like footsteps coming out of the pool, but it was just like little water prints of footsteps. Oh, nice. This ghost has been known to swim. at night. But up next, a brutal child murder that totally happened.

You can't have it both ways on self-missarily cannot. You've seen that child murder or a ghost that likes to swim. Call it in. But they take this guy, they pull him over in the desert and they're like, you said you touched

her breast and like the idea is he got beat up or something? Yeah. Oh, he got beat up. He's got like a black eye. And Spanky takes them into their truck, and they're like, Spanky, you've got to take us to California to the Nintendo Power competition. He's like, well, I guess I better because I'm on enough hot water already. I'm like, yeah, you just kidnapped a kid. That is aiding and abetting and a kidnapping. Spanky is going to get you in a lot of hot water.

Well, kids, I'm already getting the chair. Might as well take you where you need to go. Did you hear that Spanky was arrested for kidnapping a kid? Told you. But at this point, like, the private investigator knows where they're going. He calls their parents, and Bo Bridges also finds out from somebody else. But everyone is just, like, totally understanding that they're going to make it to California. Okay, they're like, oh, we'll cut them off at the past.

Like, it's dangerous for children to travel by themselves without money. Like, there's no way, there's no guarantee they're ever going to make it anywhere. They don't know that they're with Spanky. That's the problem. You got to get that. They didn't really get the fucking FBI involved. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Hold the phone again. Yeah.

Why is he named Spanky? Good question. Yeah. Told you. Hopefully we can solve that one too. A known felon going by Spanky. Well, that's it. You kind of feel bad for Spanky as if Jenny Lewis is playing him because the guy is playing Spanky a little simple. Yeah, he is.

And it's like, okay, I'll drive you to California if I can tend the rabbits once we get. there. You can't use it. That was retired on Bob Cousineight. Oh. This guy is like the far as gump of truckers. I just kept driving.

Oh, no. I had to get President Reagan somewhere because I interacted with history. Mommy, why am I in a truck? I was also on the set of the original Teen Wolf movie.

Because I'm the Forrest Gump of the 80s. I auditioned to play Happy Harry Hard on. They gave it to Christian Slater, though. He's a great actor. I was only okay.

I showed him my butt. Again. Mommy, why am I looking at this man's butt? And I met the president again. Told you. Oh, whatever.

They fucking get to the big dumb competition. At Universal Studios, California. They sure do. Because this movie's put out by Universal, so we're going right to their theme park. And who should be there, but Lucas and his crot. Lucas is wearing this dope t-shirts, his vision all over it. I'd wear that shirt.

And Lucas's cronies are there, including a young, young, young Toby McGuire. The man. Who would be Spider-Man? I can't believe it I saw it Steve You mentioned it on Twitter And I couldn't believe it I am a man

It's a blicking you miss it It is not in the earlier scene He's not And I'm a man that prides himself On celebrity sightings and films Especially obscure ones This may be my crown jewel It's your thesis

It's all coming together By the way man who would be Spider-Man How about man who would be Bobby Fisher in that movie no one saw. Exactly, because no one saw it. That's the joke. Oh, yeah. What was that called?

Thanks for spelling that out for everybody. Well, people need... Listen, we're going to do some speaking spell coming up. Speaking of the 80s. What about the sea biscuits? Oh, I saw that in theaters. I still haven't seen it. It's still happy.

Working at the multiplex when that movie came out and a gentleman shit his pants in the theater. We just put a garbage bag over it and called it a night. That's what you do. Do you think they... And it's still there to this day. The theater was knocked to the ground, but Robert Stacks saw the specter of the shit-covered seat.

A shit demon haunts this vacant lot. Legend has it, it was from a man who shit his pants watching Toby McGuire in the Seabiscuit. If you've seen the shit demon or the BTK strangler. Call into the same tip line As we can't possibly have two Why aren't you shelling out for two tip lines? Next week.

One for ghosts, one for real life criminals. Next week is Alf Real? Yo. They get there. And you know what? I appreciate the guy, I mean, it's an impossible competition. A, I don't think anyone could ever have made $50,000 playing video games back in the,

In the 80s, you know what I mean? Also, children shouldn't be standing to win $50,000 ever. Yeah. What is that shit? Even like, you know, like Kid Jeopardy, it's like 10 grand tops. How about two grand to Toys R Us and we'll call it a day? Cash money. Give me a break.

That's how you get these fucking grifters, man. That's how you fucking leave a honeypot out like that. You're going to get all sorts of grifters. You're going to get Lucas involved. You know what we've been great is if those. Old businessman came back. Oh, man. Is there an age limit?

We don't know. Oh, yeah. It's all these little kids that a 50-year-old man playing Ninja Guide. He's entered a contest for children. So, I mean, moving right along. Actually, funny enough, when they go to the registration table,

you notice who's signing people in? Yep, I did. No. It's our friend from. Dungeons and Dragons and Seinfeld that dude He's high as shit on cocaine Oh my God

He's on so much cocaine for this performance He bought him to Toby McGuire Not a true story but could be And he's like calling these kids munchkins or something No no no that's the fucking second Pedophile of the movie Who's the host of this thing This guy's a little too

You know what I kind of appreciate it Because this guy, you know what I mean? Like you're a struggling actor in the Universal Studios floor. In the Universal Studios area. Yeah. You know, you could just, you could phone it in. Like, oh, I got to fucking host a goddamn kid video game competition. No, this guy does three rails and he's like, let's host this video game competition.

Well, because that's what you have to do if you're working in a major theme park. Yeah. I mean, this is Universal Studios. Yeah. And this is also Los Angeles. This is the big leagues. You can't be sleep. walking through this shit?

Richard Donner could be in the audience. You don't know. You don't know. Or Richard Dawson. That's what I thought you were going to say. Well, he does host a game show quite well. Why isn't he kissing everyone? I would have used more kissing.

Told you. Oh, you know, Richard Dawson told you. But speaking of told you, dude, this guy, when he's trying to get this competition going, he goes, come up here my little beauties told you holy shit my skin was crawling

The trickster He kind of is I mean so like basically Wouldn't you know it Both Jimmy and Lucas are in the final three With this other girl Like Maureen or something She's like got long pigtails

The gorgeous Mora Grissom Says this fucking scumbag Apparently African American kids don't like video games, so why would we put them in this movie? I was actually shocked that there was a girl on the stage. Not for nothing. It's fair.

I mean, this movie actually, there's tons of instances of girls playing video games. Which is very true. Yeah. I mean, not for nothing. We're in Utah for most of this movie. But we're in California. At the national video game whatever. Isn't it called

Video Armageddon, I believe? Yikes. Armageddon. Oh, Jimmy Woods going a video game, Armageddon. Trying to get to take that cartridge out of his chest Someone take it out Oh, I can't take it out It's a Larry Clark movie Put it back

That's the type of shit That's the type of shit he would have played In videodrome on Civic TV Yeah you're totally right Like oh wait this is a little dark Snuff films and kids Oh he's got a duck gun Gun grafted to his hand

Oh yeah That'll be cool It shoots teeth that should have what that's what should have happened to captain and the game master oh for sure his body just like you know like biologically grafted itself to nintendo parts why hasn't there been a david kronenberg cartoon yet man i'd watch every single episode of that rapidly canceled cartoon all three i'd watch all three of them um that sex scene with mother brain was something

they get king hippo look out they get to this they get to the finale and yeah the guy's like oh sexy beautiful more aggressive and he's like playing with her pigtails i'm like dude he gets to yourself he gets behind her and grabs both of her pig tail no yeah oh told you it's disgusting dude and she's just like i'm up on stage in front of 50 people why are you not touching the boys this so God, this is not okay. So the big reveal is that we are going to play a debut game. Uh-oh, from Nintendo America. Here it comes, everybody.

Super Mario Brothers 3. I love Jenny Lewis's response to this about how it's fucking bullshit. She flips out because he's like all right, my beautiful little kids. When we come back for the final round, it's a brand new game.

And she's like, Did he just say brand new? Fucking fuck you, dude. Fuck you. You're going down. You fucking scab! Fix, I guess the fix is in. The fix is in.

How much Lucas pay you, you piece of shit? You're in Lucas's back fucking pocket. It certainly feels that way. Steve, can you just admit that you kind of want to be friends with Lucas? I wouldn't fucking totally hang out of him. you want to be Lucas yes short answer yeah body swap movie you and him grabbing a power glove

and you body swap and then Lucas and Steve's body instantly commits suicide you would have to wait I do what every week a comedy what oh fuck this I live where most of my shirts say what I mean part of that's also like

the body swap genre they're both They both want to, like, switch back. You'd just be like, fuck you, dude. Wait, I was taller before. I was 13 years old and I was taller. Oh, actually, that's the twist. Steve, in Lucas's body, would kill Lucas and Steve's body. Oh, that would be amazing.

Why does that ever happen in a body swap movie? That's a great question. That is a good question. That just needs to happen. Like, you think it's a body swap movie, but then the person, the one person, like, the evil person is like, oh, we body swap? neck break and then it's just a completely different movie I'm into that idea I like it a lot so we're playing Mario a Chucky movie though right that's kind of it's so we're playing Mario um so we're playing Mario um Jenny Lewis is offering a lot of bad

advice or like don't backseat drive me when I'm playing fucking Mario's sick get the star no you want the mushroom no jump on its head it's like I fucking know what Mario is lady Yeah, she's lucky that this kid's a mute because he'd be turning around telling her to shut up Because listen, now Mario 3 is a great game Yeah But if you played Mario 1 and Mario 2 You get the physics of the world

Yeah, you got it Yeah Yeah And there's this thing about like Oh, he needs to This part I didn't get And maybe this is a video game thing I'm not super duper familiar with Mario 3

Like 1 and 2 And then I jumped to Super Mario I like Mario 3 I was part in me I was big in 3 man I loved three. So what's the question here? The question is the idea that the flute would get you that much more points.

Like he's like, oh, if you get the flute, if he gets the flute, then it's kind of like the get of the thing. Sure. But I think the thing is like he died a couple times because the stakes are raising. Like, oh my God, is he going to beat this video game competition? Lucas is doing fucking great. Don't worry about it. Oh, he's doing phenomenally. But the flute lets you skip ahead to different levels.

so he just skips over some of these people. Oh, I see. And then also, like, I guess, maybe the later levels have more points in play. See, again, that's the thing. I don't know. I have never given a shit about points in a Mario game, so I don't know. I have no idea either, but tweet at us. Why don't you tweet us about that?

I think the idea is like. Yeah, I won't mute you for that. That's fine. He's getting closer to the end of the game quicker. And I don't know if that, I don't know if there's a Wade. Is it like super delegates? I don't know. I think there might be superdelegates.

I think it's not until you get to World 8 and you beat Bowser's Castle that those people get to decide how many points you get. No, and then Lucas went to Cleveland in a contested convention. Yeah. So by this point where when Jimmy's playing

everybody comes in at the end of this movie, it's like the goodbyes at SNL. Like everybody's here, including this pervert man. And like he's been thwarted like 48 times in the interim, which we don't need to get into because it takes forever. Yeah, and this is what I hate so much about this.

There's this whole thing in movies like this where, like, no matter how repugnant the villain is towards kids and whatnot, by the end of the movie, he's just kind of reduced to like a doofus. Yeah. Like, there's no point when credits roll where this guy's like punched out by Bow Bridges or, you know, he's taken into custody or anything like that. You need that. This guy is just like, oh, hey, I know that guy.

And it's supposed to be cute. And the mother, like, tells him, like, because he goes up to the mother and he's like, oh, hey there. I found your kid, Mrs. Woods. He's right up there. So I still get paid. We still have a deal, right? And she's like, shut up.

That's it. That's the big talking to that the villain of the movie gets. Sure. I mean, and he wins. He wins. Of course he wins. And then on the way back, oh, on the way back, he's a, taught in California, blah, blah, blah.

They see a tourist trap with a big dinosaur, and Jimmy, again, because this kid is not, like, I'm sorry, you have a kid that has a propensity to run away child locks. How about that? It was 89. Were we playing that game yet? Wait, you're talking about shackles?

No one. To put on their arms and legs. Oh, okay. I mean, they must have, because like cop cars have had him forever. He runs out of the car, runs into this dinosaur, and and then like Fred Savage because he's been the main character

of this movie question mark. What a fucking joke. He comes out and he's like Jimmy, what are you doing? You just won 50,000 bucks. By the way, I get 88% of that. Totally. He's definitely the kind of person

that would rip off his mentally disabled brother. But apparently the idea was in this lunchbox he wanted to he wanted to basically put a sister to rest or the memory of his sister to rest inside this large dinosaur because they used to love it. They went there.

They went there. It's very important. as a united family on a vacation Before everything went south They've got the Polaroid of everybody Christian Slater included He put up with the stupid tourist trap vacation And the best part is like

They're all like oh it's sweet But I'm like like This is a dead little girl With like maybe 12 pictures of her And you're leaving three inside this dinosaur Which is just gonna get thrown out tomorrow Like maybe you want to hold out of them pictures Well it's closure for Jimmy

This scene And I don't know. I felt like the Grinch at the end of the Grinch, man. Oh, your heart grew? Oh, no. This scene devastated me. Did it really? Today?

Today, when I finished watching this movie. Wow. And I was like thinking about it. I'm like, man, you know what this movie doesn't need is dead kids? No. Because it also doesn't need a dead kid memorial. And I just watched some kid play Mario 3. And does Bo Bridges just adopt Jenny Lewis?

I think there's kind of. some presumed child adoption there. The biggest piece of bullshit is the mother who is barely a character and it's practically a Disney movie because everybody hates her, she's just like, after Jimmy's like, oh, it's been so great. She's like, oh, well, you know what? Just take them. You know what?

By-bye custody. I'm a garbage person. Here's the child. My planet needs me. Steve disagree. I think this is what it is and it will strike to the core of we hate movies complaint departments. Uh-huh. what's going on here is that she tells

Bo Bridges to take everybody in one car so she can break it off with this dude because this divorce didn't stick family reunited man that's the way I read it I don't know man that sounds like a fan theory to me fan theories from the wizard

when Fred Savage left home with Jimmy they both died in their first encounter shit. And then, yeah, this is all his dream. I mean, you may be right. I feel like it was, I got to get Sam McMurray in this car alone because he's been a dickhead the whole movie. Sure. And I'm going to dump his ass. And then I'm going to move back in. Now, also, because we have a replacement daughter. So that was Jenny Lewis, like, friends only with Fred Savage or is like, I'm your sister and your lover.

You know, like, is there? I don't think anyone's lovers. Notice I hesitated on the word lover I do think that they're adopting her though You got to replace that kid man And like her dad I guess is dead I mean at this point Well also it's awesome because when they go to her trailer Like she's talking about the dad nonstop

He's giving Jack Nicholson a ride somewhere She says that the mom put that Again this is a Disney movie Mothers are terrible The mom put them in that trailer because she's a degenerate gambler. She's like, you want to know how I learned how to play craps like that? Because my mom's a fucking degenerate gambler and she ruined the family.

They say that she's a showgirl too. That's what she says at first and it's a cover story. Oh, because she's a degenerate gambler. There's also a weird line of like, oh, my mother has great legs. Don't I too? I have her legs, don't you think? And Fred Savage is like, I'm in a movie. Fred Savage

It looks like a couple of super dogs I hate this character so much And you know what? This is just the same character From vice versa Yep From my little monster From fucking little monsters

Oh little monsters Excuse me The movie's over But when I was getting at before Yeah The movie Stay through the credits I got something

A stinger seat Here comes Stato's Oh shit Does Jimmy inherit The Infinity Gauntlet? I think so. Yeah,

the infinity power glove. Oh, man, Lucas Ristatos the whole time. Oh, shit. What a twist. Fan theory. But, told you.

What I was getting at before about the child casino, which is just, you know, an arcade and whatever. Sure. And at one point, Fred Savage snaps his fingers.

It's like, hey, babe. And it's a child. It's a female child. selling like fucking candy cigarettes and shit. It's so weird. I totally noticed that.

I completely forgot about it. It's weird as anything. There are children working at this casino. Fred Savage trying to be like a big man. Like, hey babe. It's like, good God. You know that's what he was like off screen. I'm sorry.

But you know that that kid thought he was king shit for years. And I'm sure he got whatever he wanted. And I mean, whatever. Right? Steve? I agree. Good. How is it that Lucas doesn't get any comeuppance? There's not even a scene where it's like good game, Jimmy. He kind of like looks a little flustered at the end. He knows he's not hot shit. He probably loses at least two cronies in this whole. I want one of his cronies. You think Toby McGuire walked after that loss? Oh, definitely. But I think he calls one of his cronies dorklips or something. He was like, Dorklips. Get me a cold drink.

Oh, did he say that? I would love to see a cold drink. on his head. Oh, that's right. That's orange soda, man. Exactly. Gamer's drink of choice. Actually, yeah, before the advent of Red Bull, I bet it was. Or Code Red.

Yeah, Code Red for sure. Would anybody recommend this movie? No. I mean, it's kind of fun to watch the old video game footage. I do despise Fred Savage. I think the tone of this movie is absolutely every which way but loose. Unfortunately, like, there's

probably a fun-ish movie about little kid gamers and blah blah blah it's just not this movie at all i say check it out okay i you know i i hadn't seen this in so long so it was a little trip down memory lane and it was it's it's it's dumb well sure it's ridiculous yeah um but you know it has an okay pace yeah i think it's a soft recommend for me this movie told you it uh you know invoked a lot of that 80s nostalgia. The score to this movie's awesome. Not the soundtrack necessarily, although there are some good songs on here. Send me an Angel is on this song as well. Yeah, sure is. But no, just like this

score is like Ultra 80s, like pop score. That alone, I'm kind of like, yeah, I'm in for it. Actually, I think if you can just ignore all the weird dead kids stuff, this is kind of a solid hangover movie. Okay. Right. Because it's just like scene to scene of them doing shit. And I do despise Fred Savage, but otherwise, I don't know. You're in for it. All right.

Just a light wreck. Just a light wreck. By the way, final question. Did anyone subscribe to Nintendo Power? No. Yes. Did you? I did.

And I remember one distinct memory. Oh, please. And I forget what it was. It was probably Robocop 3 or something. But there was like a thing in there that was like, hey, we're raffling off of OCP cop car. And I was like, you. Yeah. Like a full-sized car?

Yes. Holy shit. And I was like, you bet your ass I'm entering that. Are you fucking kidding me? So then, you know, every day I went home with my hat in my hand being like, ah, God, nothing from the OCP, yeah. And eventually I saw like the story in there of the kid who got it. And, you know, they took off the lights off the top to make it more street legal.

Yeah. It was just like, it was like a, like a matte black like sedan with the OCP, the OECD. the OCPD logo on the side and I was like fuck that kid got it looked like a total Lucas too yeah the rich get richer yeah I was the fix is in that's the wizard from 1989 directed by Todd Holland

if you want more information about we hate movies check out WHM podcast.com or find us over at sideshow network dot TV like us on Facebook facebook.com slash we hate movies or like or or follow us on Twitter we are at WHM podcast right into the mailbag we all hate movies

at gmail.com rate and review the show wherever you get it we would greatly appreciate it you know what I'd like some video game stories you're playing old school video games totally I know some of you must

to shit your pants playing video games hopefully let's have moratorium on pooping stories arcade life is fascinating totally do you ever hustle anybody

for some game money I want to hear about video game gambling definitely and also did you ever rate and review We Hate Movies on iTunes or wherever you download the show? Oh, that's a good idea. I really want to drive that home because it matters, guys.

We're getting sunk out there. We're getting sunk. I'll be honest. We need your help. How are we getting sunk? Or not, I just want them to review the show. Oh, gotcha. It'll help increase the profile of the show.

Oh, actually, did you know, Eric, that every time you rate and review the show, you get a fan picture of Lucas mailed to you? Told you. that's the equivalent of an angel getting its wings as far as Steve's concerned Steve and Larry Clark's Lucas fan club so next week

we're going back to somebody we love to hate that's right it's Larry the cable guy health inspector the only movie that has the actors in the title not the only but my God why did you need it for health inspector? It might be the only movie that has two professions in the title

That is true So you got Larry the Cable Guy You got Tom Wilson From Back to the Future in that movie And also next week A little story about me and Chris Cavan Trying to watch this movie Ooh, I like that idea

That's right So next week Larry the Cable Guy Health Inspector Until then I'm Andrew Jupp and Steven Zayda Eric Siska Take it easy Thank you.