We Hate Movies - S6 Ep247: Episode 247 - Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector

Episode Date: April 26, 2016

On this week's episode, the gang scrapes the bottom of the barrel with the 2006 fart-a-thon, Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector! How many diarrhea scenes do we need? What's with all the talk about having sex with mannequins? And is Larry as a grownup worse than Larry as a man baby? PLUS: Larry the Cable Guy--disrespectful Hooters customer. Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector stars Dan Whitney, David Koechner, Tony Hale, Tom Wilson, Megyn Price, Joanna Cassidy, and Bruce Bruce; directed by Trent Cooper.Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Today on the program, we're chasing a giant man baby through a hot Florida swamp. It's Larry the Cable Guy Health Inspector. I'm Andrew Jupe and Steven Sadek. Eric Sisko. And we hate movies. Hello, everyone, welcome to We Hate Movies on the Side Show Network. Thank you for tuning in to our fine program, as always. Now, this week, we're talking about Larry the Cable Guy, Colin Health Inspector, from the sad year of 2006, directed by some fellow named Trent Cooper.

Hey, I'm expecting you're colon. Oh, man, I'm going to write this up for a fart. Oh, Larry, that's not what a health inspector is. I don't know shit about shit. That's also not what a cable guy is. Can we get into the... Please. At the top of the show.

You know, I'm not as familiar with Larry the cable guys act as many of you might be. Right. I'm talking about... In the world. In the world. Not the people in this room, because you know the exact level of fandom we have. but okay so he's like I know he's like a trashy fun loving dude but he's also I guess a cable guy like that part of the

the character I feel like they must have made cable guy jokes like I'll be there between 5 and 12 if I can't get off the toilet or I can go to your place and use your toilet get her done yeah get her done one time I was a sexy lady at the door and I fix the cable. Well, I mean, like, having a character named Larry the Cable Guy and writing a movie where he's a health inspector, it's like putting, like,

getting the Ninja Turtle suits and then dressing them as like owls, like putting owls on top, owl helmets on top, it's like, it's useless. But, like, why not just call him Larry the health inspector? Do they think, like, his fans are too stupid to, like, no, no, no, I want to see

the cable guy? Well, and not Jim Carrey. So you're saying it should have been a movie where Larry the Cable Guy actually worked for a cable company? That or he's just Larry the Health Inspector. Well, Larry the Health Inspector starring Larry the Cable Guy is dumber than what this sounds like. I disagree. I strongly. You can write in if you agree with me.

Hashtag Team Eric, hashtag Team Andrew. Oh, wow. This is like a Twilight shirt. Rock the boat, I guess. I'm taking my shirt off. What? Oh, like Taylor Lautner? Yeah.

I'll be the sparkly event. vampire then. So this movie is Larry the Cable Guy's first live action movie. It's a little raunchier than some of the ones we've covered in the past. It's less for kids. I had never seen it before

and this was shocking to me because he's like talking about fucking mannequins and you see his asshole in the first five minutes. And you know what? He's drinking, which I appreciate because that's what this guy needs to be doing, man. Yeah, he's he loves Paps Blue Ribbon.

I mean, I feel like, yeah, it's either that Or the character's like, oh man, a court ordered me not to drink no more I got this cool bracelet now on my leg But like this opening, you're right, we do see his nice little crevasse And just looking down the chasm of this dude's asshole For like 15 seconds while he comedically gets out of bed And then he showers and it's like Big a shock of the movie that he was showering by the way

That is a pretty, but, but they're also trying to show you, like, how grossy. And he's a health inspector. Well, what? Because he's like, he's pushing in the shower now. And then he, like, re, he takes a Q-tip, uses it and then puts it in with the rest of the Q-tips to use later. And it's, like, fucking filthy. Like, there's chicken nugget sauce on this thing.

How to get in your ear? Here's something. If you're going to piss in the shower, aim not for your feet. You know what I mean? Like, don't aim for your toes, dude. Like, there's just dancing in a puddle of piss. You know what I mean? Like, try and drop it off at the front door if you can.

My feet, my toes are a little cold in this shower. This little piggy got a yellow drink. It's like, this little pig is drinking dick beer. Dick beer? There's a gay guy's dick beer. Now in barbecue flavor. Oh, my God. This one got a good pour, not much froth on that.

Dude, did you see the color of this prop piss, though? I was like, is he getting chemotherapy in this movie? That would be a great, like, revelation. It looked like mellow yellow. Suddenly, like, halfway through the movie, it's sort of like creed or something, where Larry the cable guy is just like, oh, my friends are dead.

I got no one left. I was thinking more American splendor and, like, Hope Davis is, like, helping it back to hell. We're going to make a comic book, Larry. That's what we do in this family. Hey, goo, I'm dying of cancer. It's that where he brings, like, and like if Jeff Foxworthy had passed, you know? Yeah, yeah. Like, all of his friends are dead.

So he's bringing, like, a buffet tray of Golden Corral to Jeff Foxworthy's grave. It puts a nice A leader of dick beer on Ron White's Great Dick beer, by the way, I'm not Letting that one go No, and nor should you. That's great.

That's good. You could take that home with you. What you don't want to do, by the way, at the start of your Larry the Cable Guy movie is have the first sound effect Your audience hears me snoring. This movie just starts with like, It's all kid fought, by the way.

Like, the little kid drew it. Larry, the cable guy, health inspector. And it's just, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, he's kind of the worst serenile I've movie ever made, though, right? Like, it just, it feels like that. Well, that's what I was wondering, like, because I didn't look it up, but which came first? Like, this movie or that blue collar TV? Because I could see blue collar TV having a sketch where this idiot is a health inspector, and, like, that's the sketch. No, that's start in 2004, so it was going on.

Yeah, so then... God, we had more than one season. I mean, it's because we elected Bush two times, man. Like, that's how that works. Yeah, get er done. Now, let's get right into it. Because you see it right at the top and it sort of dips in and out of this movie.

David Keckner playing a mentally challenged man. Who they refer to with Z.R. Word. Oh, this movie's retardant left and right. And just laughing while they say it. It's all throughout this movie. And it's all couched in the same thing that Larry does with all groups.

He's just basically like, he's standing above them, but he's like, it's cool, whatever you do, but you're different than me. That's kind of fun. Well, that's what it's, it's weird in this movie. They sort of make him cool with everybody, even though it's not for me kind of a thing. Yeah, exactly.

Like he goes into that, like there's an Indian food restaurant he goes in and like he's cool with the family that owns. He's like these are, but then even though he's cool with this family or whatever, he has to say shit like, yeah, them hardworking immigrants and you're just like, well, he calls it immigrant food. Oh man, I wouldn't need that immigrant food if you paid me, but hey, that they're hard. Hardworking group. But again, it's not because he doesn't want to eat ethnic food. It's because he knows that immigrant food is going to make him have diarrhea. Which is the real threat of this movie, I guess. Diarrias at every turn.

Dude, he is six minutes in farting. Oh, yeah. Now, you made it some texting going on about this last night, counting the farting and the gay jokes. So I decided when I turned it on to keep track also, Steve, because you said you were doing it. So I want to compare notes. How many overall gay jokes did you count in this movie? Because Eric's got a number two.

I couldn't count the gay jokes. I had a very low number. I think there's many that went by me. I was sort of like I was counting the Mount Rushmore of gay jokes in this movie. I only got five, but I'm sure

there's more. I've got a total of 10 gay jokes in this movie. Most of which are directed at Tom Wilson for no reason or a heterosexual woman that he keeps calling a boy what's that boy doing she's wearing a pants suit what is that what you got

a ding dong in there it's shocking that that wasn't like a time where he could weasel in a Hillary Clinton joke yeah now what about farts I got five actual farts one fart contest discussed only the off-screen fart contest but there are some

long farts which yeah I think count as a couple. And one is prelude to diarrhea. One is included in diarrhea, but I'm calling it farts. Well, see, okay, because here's the thing. I counted every single fart in this movie. Oh, every single fart. Oh, I don't know about that.

I just meant like episodes of farting. Not counting the waves of diarrhea that happened in this movie. Those aside, I counted 24 separate farts in this movie. That's outrageous. In an hour and 22-minute movie. It's your classic. There's not enough movie here, so we're going to pad the blooper reel. I mean, what is that?

Like a fart every, like, four minutes or something? Idiocracy came out the same year, and in that movie, people go to the theater and just watch a butt fart for 80 minutes, and it's kind of this movie. They're both reactions to the Bush administration. One is like, could you imagine this might happen? And one's like, hey, cool, country's in a toilet, all right. One's a reaction to one is a product of.

Yes, exactly. We're talking about the product here. I mean, I guess, I mean, the good thing is he's got his own home, which is nice, good for him. They're letting him, the facility lets him out now, you know? What is poor old fucking David Kekner doing in this? Exactly. Like, oh my God, is he just that hard up for, like, acting work? We were in between Anchorman movies.

Had the first one come out? Yes. So there's that. He's waiting on that to happen, I guess. Yeah, SNL's over with. he was doing that other show on Comedy Central himself of this book Teabone and Earl

the trucker and Dave whatever I don't know yeah we all know exactly what we're talking about yeah and he but in this I mean he kind of played this character in Silent Out Live too like but it was like I think he was playing a kid at the time if I'm not mistaken like what like a Mike Myers bit

yeah kind of I don't remember well you know Lauren Michaels always wants you to play a baby like five times a night that's like you watch SNL there's so many goddamn rotten I'm a can okay great fucking comedy

I mean yeah you're not wrong it's that or a song and I guess he's the lowest hanging fruit of the movie right just because he's really doing it they space him out he's barely in the movie thankfully yeah he's kind of like he comes to the

aid at the end you know so he sort of saves the day it's kind of I mean this is kind of an Adam Sandler movie like you know what I mean like an early like Billy Madison well it's but it's way worse oh no I can't believe I'm saying that but like this is worse than modern Sandler oh yeah oh without question this is like not watchable I mean a lot of that Sandler stuff is unwatchable but like but it's like it's like it's like it's got the production quality that it's like oh there's there's four walls on a roof and this is like my chicken coop's falling over

they use the same the same kitchen every single time and they are just shuffling things around it's so sad man this is a cheap dirt cheap fucking movie yeah so as it turns out in this because Tom Wilson's in it I mean come on

everybody discount casting prices although he provided me the most legitimate laughs in this movie he's doing a good job you know I mean so he's Larry's boss Larry one of my notes was, oh, he's actually a health inspector? Like, I didn't know what this movie

was. And I was like, oh, he's actually doing this job. What did you think it would be? I don't even know. I mean, this movie doesn't technically know what a health inspector does, so, you know. He was like a doctor without borders or something. I got to combat the Zika virus.

There's just too many birth defects for my taste. I call myself a health inspectors even though I'm a hooter's regular. I'm always checking out the kitchen. Oh, there's so much. health inspector more like female body inspector FBI motherfucker

Hey cool Yeah he is a walking boardwalk T-shirt isn't he He sure is We'll get to some of his mottos On the back of his truck a little later So yeah Tom Wilson hates his guts And like

Yeah like usually it's like I mean usually in this movie You're supposed to be like Oh that fucking stuff shirt whatever Oh no you're totally on the boss's side This whole time When you go to work and gay bash your boss, I'm instantly on your boss's side.

He's like, I'm in a really bad mood, Larry. He's like, what are you getting more threats for being gay? And I'm like, what did you just say? And that joke happens like, I didn't count that, but like, you know, at least six of those gay jokes that I counted are that. Where it's just like, oh, you're in another rough mood chief. I know why I sold your phone number to a gay sex hotline. Hey, cool.

Hey, I'm 40 years old. That's awesome. I love prank phone calls. Hey, cool, crankjakers is on. Oh, great. Did he do a voice on cranky? I'm almost positive, but you know, you tell me, America. Oh, I think I did a voice on crankyangers.

I mean, they got everybody in there. I never watched more than like an episode of that, though. Actually, people don't know. I played the mom on crank yankers. What a lot, what, what. I like crank yankers Because it sounds like jerking it all What?

You ain't gonna crank Oh, okay I was like Wait wait Do I have to go back and watch crankyakers? Oh dude you gotta get all the seasons on DVD man Oh yeah once like that whole arc comes together That they spent several seasons working towards on crank anchors

Yeah, it's quite brilliant Oh you mean when the Dominion shows up? Oh, that's There you go again, confusing crank-jankers in Star Trek Deep Space Nine. Hashtag we want warp. We want warp. So, oh, another co-worker of his, Tony Hale, Veep's Tony Hale. And, yeah, Restive Development.

He is slum in it. I mean, I guess the rest of the development started, what, 2005 or 2003, actually? Three, yeah. Yeah, so I think it was already done with by the end. Yeah. This is before the revival, right? I don't know, but, like, this is embarrassing. I feel bad.

Yeah, exiled from Eden, man. It's just, it's cold out there. Like, Bateman went on to make real movies. I mean, Tony Hale's on Veep now, but, like, the immediate arrested development aftermath, you know. Both Bateman had that leading man quality, and he was already an actor since the 80s. Yeah, I guess that's true. Tony Hale just had a hook on his hand.

And in this one, he's paralyzed. and that's the joke in case you were wondering that is the joke well because as much as Larry the cable guy likes pointing out and calling people retarded he also likes pointing out and calling people cripple in this movie

and it's like what the what the fuck wasn't anyone just like you know Dan Whitney because the camera's not rolling and you're not a cable guy maybe you should cut back on some of the cripples we don't want to say all the cripples have to go it's just like whatever man

like just tone it back like make it make a joke that isn't taking aim at a at a group other than yourself you know it's going into movie theaters make it for a general audience like how about an average person might enjoy this no no they have to be below average to enjoy this yeah yeah I think that's right the other weird thing so yeah like we because we've mentioned this on other larry movies that we've done because like Tooth Fairy 2 Jingle All the Way 2 Those movies

He's like a man baby Yeah And in this like he's definitely Right off the bat Talking about having sex He's all grown up He is all grown up But he's like

I don't remember what The first mention of it is But he's just like Is this when he's at the mall And like he's looking at the mannequin or whatever Yeah And he makes reference to like Oh their legs always break off

When I try to put him up behind their head And I'm like wow this is not the tooth fairy too Larry the cable guy I know in love also not only that he's telling the story of him trying to fuck like a mall mannequin in his house to his love

interest in this movie his romantic interest it's insane and poor fucking Megan Price who's a really like a good fun actress and like good looking she has to romance Donald Logue on 12 seasons of whatever the fuck that show was grounded for life. Right. And then

now Larry the cable guy, like, who was she with on rules of engagement? Was she with putty? She went with War Button, Burton, yeah. That's all right. That's all right. You know, I mean, like, she'd do fine, and she'd get a 10, she has to get a 4

for some reason. Or below. Well, like, that's interesting. Logan, the cable guy. Like, like, I mean, Log is a fucking handsome man. Yeah, exactly. But they got a similar build something. Yeah, they both are built like cable guys.

Red goatees. Yeah. Both of them. I don't know. Stay in school kids. So he gets assigned a partner who's Iris Bear or Bar. I'd never seen this person in anything. And she's just doing her best Revenge of the Nerds thing, I guess.

Yeah. I mean, you know, they've got her hair back. She's wearing a gray suit. Yeah, he's dusted off all the old married with children's jokes about her. And the whole thing is he's assigned a partner because, what is it? He's devastated a diner by letting a bunch of roaches loose or something. Oh, that's disgusting. Yeah, it's like him reading some like weird gun journal in public.

Hey, cool, it's the Turner Diaries. I'm going to learn how to blow up Oklahoma machining. Oh, my God. Am I making you uncomfortable or what? I lost the audience tonight, Jeff. You see it? I did my bit about the Turner papers. They didn't think it was cool.

Yeah, Dan, honestly, that's why I do the redneck thing. It's poking fun at everybody. It's poking fun of ourselves. How many times do you have to have this conversation? Yeah, but I actually own a copy of the Turner. I know, Dan. I've been to your house once. It's kind of...

Once. It's kind of interesting that Foxworthy is like, you know, the more intellectual of that, that ilk. And then Larry the cable guy's like, well, I'll just do that. I'll do the thing you're making fun of. Yeah. Oh, yeah. It's on the butt of your joke, Jeff Foxworthy. Yeah, I'm your material personified.

It's weird. In that TV show, did Larry wheel out a TV with another TV on it? Well, probably. That was probably on like the set of the opening monologue, two TVs. They kind of had, it was kind of a bullshit man show, too. I feel like they were sitting on stools drinking beer. Talking about hunkers. I feel that you're right.

I don't think I actually watched any of it, but it was like an episode. Hey, Jeff, have some dick beer. So, yeah, he kicks, like, a floorboard and all these roaches come out of this gross diner. And the CGI roaches look worse than Joe's apartment. Like, you know what I mean? Like, it's putting, which came out like nine years earlier. Yeah, like you said it was disgusting a second ago. Like, it would be disgusting if it wasn't so unbelievably bad looking.

I was like, the graphic designer left some kooky screen saver on and no roaches are on the screen. It was making Timon and Pumba to come and eat them. I got to rote you up for this toaster with wings that came out of there. The health violation. Look at all them colored pops back there. That's a man. Yes. So he gets in what we will call the Larry Mobile.

We'll call it that because that's what he calls it. He's like, hey, new partner, get in the Larry Mobile. And I'm like, if I have a car. And if I, imagine this. I've given you rides places. If I was like, hey, guys, get Leandro Mobile. And in all seriousness, I said that, wouldn't you be just contemplating taking the bus? Yeah, easily.

Like, don't put your name and then Mobile. together. It would be chilling. I might take the ride, but I'd be stone-faced and I'd feel weird. It's just so dumb. I'd be texting Eric the whole time. Oh my God.

Do you know that he called the Andrew Mobile? Geez, you guys are both getting a lot of texts. They're sort of like offset by 30 seconds. That's weird. What are you guys tittering about back there? Nothing. Why are you both in the backseat? I'm shocked that he doesn't have the Stars and Barrow.

on this car. He's got everything but. Yeah. Do you want to get into it? We're talking about the Larry Mobile. I read the in the IMDB Tribune this morning. Oh, right. Did you get today's issue? Yeah. I have it right here. And it's a it lists every single one

of his many bumper stickers. One it says the bumper stickers on Larry's truck are as follows from left to right. Oh, wow. American flag Flap Girl Fishaholic

Small square American flag sticker. It was 2006. You had to have that. You weren't able to drive a car if you didn't. Oh, yeah. It'd be cool. He's now. He's consistently wearing these ripped off sleeveless shirts. Yes. Could use an American flag lapel pin on that. Oh, yeah.

Oh, that's true. Well, he's not running for office. Larry Mobile, missing the letter I. Now, if you had a bumper sticker that said Andromobile. I would never get anywhere near that car. Oh, I thought that was the personalized license plate. It's a sticker that he has? It's a sticker, yeah. Oh, boy. I'd key that car. Unless you are

nude, don't touch this truck. Okay. We'll just move right along. Oh, man, you ever see fucking, uh, the counselor with Cameron Diaz? She can touch my truck anytime. God, guns, and guts. Keep America safe.

Better to have it and not need it than not need it and have it. Better to have it and not need it than need it and not have it, which is a ton to be American with a gun, yeah. Guns, you know, in terms of guns. I was like, what are you talking about?

Condoms? I don't use that. Mass shootings don't bother me at all. No, I made that up. There are plenty. There are There are plenty of people who will agree with that statement. The funny thing was, I was just like, where's this one going? Hogg if you love Jesus, obviously. Which is stupid, though. At no point in this movie is he, like, religious at all.

He does say, like, Christian in church, like, once or twice. Does he in this movie? Yeah. Well, there's the other movie where he's, like, pretending to be homeless outside of a church. What is, wait, in Delta Force? No, in, in Jingle All the Way, too, when he's, dressed like Hagrid for whatever reason

again to get that bear or something. Wynum, Dynum, and 69. Oh, that's the old standard. He bought it with that one on there. I heart hooters sticker. Oh, I made a note of the I heart hooters one. That's just clear as day.

And if you're like a female co-worker and you have to like ride in a car with somebody, you're like, yeah, I want to take my own car. like you know what dude that's that's totally fine he opens the door and this is all the junk flies out it's like crap he's got a hooters blanket or something in there and anyone notice that well yeah you know because when you accumulate so many hooters points you start getting free stuff from a catalog is that only so many chicken leaves that the end of the bumper stickers no not at all my goodness i was gonna say something else on i uh born to hunt forced to work nobody's forcing you to work larry the cable guy uh oh uh Ted Kennedy's car has killed more people than my gun. What? Yeah, man. Wow.

And I mean, like, that's probably accurate because, hey, everybody, can we settle down for a second? This is something I'm going to take very seriously. This is Dan talking now. This script has to have a chappaquitic joke in it. If it doesn't have some sort of chappaquitic joke in it, I'm going to walk. Hey, cool, right, everybody? Hey, cool. Get her done.

Japiquitic seriously That man to murder Kind of was I mean the bumper sticker That's the one I kind of agree with I don't own a gun but I would own that sticker Gun control means hitting your target And also like all the gun and hunting shit

He never uses a gun in any of these stupid fucking movies Is it brought up in this movie why he doesn't have a gun Oh yeah it is brought up why he doesn't have a gun I shot my own penis off No, it was because Donnie, my damn neighbor, you know what the type is. Yeah. He took out my gun and shot it. It was like.

Oh, that's why he doesn't own a gun? Yeah. He took it away from him. Well, because he says his, no, pardon me, but he says his retarded neighbor. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Took the gun. All right. And shot it.

Oh. Or something like that. And that's why he's not. I'm not. Ken Kennedy took my gun away. So, so. It happened. He came for my gun. Let me throw stones at that, yet I'm letting

my mentally challenged neighbor play with my gun collection. Sure. Hey, cool. Anyone can use it. I'm not a redneck. I'm a southerner with an attitude. And then the last one. Translation stars and bars. Yeah, oh, big time. Follow me to Hooters.

You know what? Why don't you just follow me to Hooters? Well, I'll meet you there. But that one's at least kind of helpful if you're stuck behind him and you also don't know where the town Hooters is, you might trail them for a little bit. Think about like, what's he tipping at these Hooters, right? Like, this guy's got to be a nightmare to come through the door, right? Oh, yeah, because he's one of those.

He's one of those pricks that says like, uh, hey, here's a tip. If it looks like rain, bring an umbrella. Thanks for the chicken wings. Bye. Hey, is Amber working the night or what? I think she's got a thing for me. He'll get a chicken wings and eat it over the course of three hours. I'm here for the show.

I just want to look. Yeah, I say that I'm here for Thursday night football, but that ain't true. I don't even know who's playing. Can I get a small chicken wings and a thing of ice water, please? He leaves exactly like $5.99 on the table. Oh, absolutely. Whatever, whatever it is, like, nothing extra. Where does this movie take place, actually?

Because I couldn't get that. I mean, we're filmed on location in and around Orlando, so it's got to be it. Because we can get it to the mayor of this movie. Oh. This is a real shocker for me. I don't, was he in the opening credits? Because I didn't see. He was.

Okay, I must have believed in there. Yeah, it's around the time when, like, that you're looking down Larry's ass crack for 15 seconds. I think I probably looked away. Oh, you certainly did. Joe Pantliano's in this movie As like Oh yeah And because why I ask when

Why what where this movie takes place is he's the He's the kid from Hoboken Larry and Joe Pantheleano The only two people doing accents of this movie Everybody else is just talking normal Yeah Like yeah he's he's definitely dejurzifying himself in this movie

And I guess just kind of playing this like A Fet weirdo Mare guy Yeah Bushy eyebrows I guess is a thing. It's pretty gross. And he's also like a peeping Tom, like he's got a Norman Bates hole in the wall.

He also has an online handle, you know, like a Carlos Danger, if you will. Oh, right, yeah. That might be a local joke, but that's fine. No, people know. Big Baller, 23 or something? Yeah, or 93, I think it was. How is that just not Big Ballers 69?

Yeah, yeah, you got the, you're wine and dying and 69 in them, you know what I mean? Like, is this movie rated are? I actually, I think it's very PG-13. I know. I think you get 169. Oh, really? But does that 69 count if it's just a quick bumper sticker joke? If my kid can read it. Fair enough.

69 and Larry the cable guy. There's an image. Hey, cool. Like putting a bunch of curtains on top of a table. He would, he should have some sort of like fatty Arbuckle sex scandal. Oh, that would be great. Fantastic. Sure.

So, ruin them for good. I guess what's happening is snooty restaurants are starting to get poisoned. And Joanna Bradley's in this movie. Is that her name? Joanna Cassidy. Joanna Cassidy of Roger Rabbit, Blade Runner, and other stuff. Yeah. Isn't this, we took forever to recognize her because she's really slum in it.

She's like the villain, and she's got a daughter who's, like, made up, like, with, like, a unibrow and a scar on her. She's got witch makeup on. Like, it's just, it's non-green witch makeup. It's just another straw man target for Larry to meet later in the film. When we get a Slabs versus Snobbs punch out. There was one line he had about her appearance that was pretty interesting. Let me see if I could find it here. Well, in the meantime, I want to see if you guys remember this one line.

because it's somewhere about the time when he goes to Bruce Bruce's restaurant like Bruce Bruce owns a chicken restaurant and he's like he goes to the bathroom and he says I got to take the Browns to the Super Bowl is the joke but then somewhere after that in my notes he has some line

where he just says farting Jews Oh no so this is what happens? What is that about? It's the weirdest part of the movie. Okay good so um glad I could jog this up to the top of the pile so we're talking about you know But people being food poised in the fancy restaurants.

And you see these two people, like, Z-level actors, like having a nice meal together. Oh, the proposal's about to happen. He gives a proposal, and he's like, will you Sheila Rothfarb please marry me or whatever? And it's like, oh, that's weird. Why would her name be Rothfarb? And then they both start farting, obviously? Well, that's what would happen. And then Larry gets called in.

He's like, I don't know, all them Jewish fellers were farting all over the place. And I was like, wait, what, what did the, what are the, what are the Jewish? I totally miss the part where they said the names because he's just like, this is the scene of the farting Jews. I watch Man in the High Castle for all the wrong reasons. What a pleasurable society they formed. This movie and that's both on Amazon. So I found the joke about that woman's appearance.

She was so ugly, she could trick or treat on the telephone. Oh, I could. I kind of laughed at that. Because it makes no sense. Yeah. Yeah, that's a child's joke book. That's like, that's next to a booger joke. You know what I mean?

Like, it's a booger joke and that one. Oh, cool. Where's Waldo? I'm getting sued by Scholastic. Oh, shit. Oh, no, that ain't cool at all. So, by the way, when he goes to investigate that fancy French restaurant. Right.

Did you see, like, he's like, oh, yeah, I got a reservation. oh yeah let me look at the book and the name he picks out of the book Denzel Washington Yeah Oh yeah So let's just imagine a world Where Denzel Washington actually has a reservation

At this restaurant Yeah why is Denzel Washington Making a reservation at some snooty restaurant In Orlando Florida Here's a real question Does Denzel Washington now Or has he ever known who or what Larry The cable guy is?

Yeah he does You think so? Oh sure Maybe briefly, like, while channel surfing in 2004. Exactly. He's never met Dan Whitney. Yeah. You know, they never were at the same restaurant. You know what?

No one could escape those prilosec OTC commercials. I bet Denzel got got by those. Oh, exactly. That are like... Hey, I'm in Denzel Washington's out. Pretty cool. Hey, cool. I'm inside Denzel Washington's medicine cabinet.

Hey, cool. I help Denzel. Washington with gas problems. Desert Washington lacks spars your pizza. That's why he got to come to Larry. Or like he was walking in a grocery store or something and he saw like those Larry the Cable Guy food products that are out there. It's like, you know, Larry the Cable Guy's douche-flavored, you know.

Dick beer. Yeah. I think the word you're looking for is dick beer. I was going to say pork rinds. Yeah. Tater salad. Oh, and all the. Fucking bullshit.

No, well, that's not him. That's Ron White. It was Ron White. They all hate him. Until I named my potato salad flavored chips, potato salad, because fuck you, Ron White. Oh, did he steal his bit? Yeah, at least for whatever reason, that's what's on the chips. Oh, I thought you were joking.

I'm serious. No, I'm serious. Oh, shit. At least from all those fan tweeted photos of potato chips they've found. This is, by the way, this is the culture that we've cultivated. people sending us pictures of Larry the cable guy foodstuffs. The next fan picture I want is Denzel Washington in a supermarket. Something tells me Denzel Washington is a fresh direct man. Yeah, yeah. He doesn't leave the house much.

So, yeah, so we're on the case. Him and the new partner that he thinks is a boy, but it's clearly a woman, are going through all these fancy restaurants because everybody keeps getting food poisoning or farting diarrhea yeah a lot of diarrhea in this movie um he also hates this woman who he keeps calling a boy well it's one of those like i don't need no partner yeah and he's like fucking with her in a montage and one of which is like really really intense where it's all like oh you're just a little boy like oh he keeps calling her him a lot which is really offensive and you know the thing about it is this woman just it happens way later in the movie and is used as a joke and it's just not

funny she just up front needs to be like hey i'm a woman yes now let's get on with our lives let's have the movie continue here what well you're not even showing me them so he he he writes on a sign like on a big like a placard sign that her name is butlin obviously because again strawman like easy target for larry sure butlin is a bill and ted Slur It starts with an F It's on the sign At like a Hardy's

Board or something And he's like Hey he's good thing I know the manager I was able to make This gag work It's just Why do I need this in my montage

In my Larry movie Well that's this is dude This ain't yo mama's Larry The cable guy That's true He's hardcore in this movie So he's a romancing Megan Price

They go to a fancy restaurant He says his name is a Denzel Washington. They get a table. Joanna Cassidy gives them fancy wine. We get some like bullshit fancy food jokes

which I always hate which is like, oh, it's so fucking small in this restaurant. Yeah, he's trying. I see why you make a money. Who you're saving it for? Because it's like

a big old fucking fish I could eat. It's like to taste the wine and he's like, oh yeah, he's like, no wonder you're making money. And she's like, just drink it. Just drink this wine

Before my head explodes I acted with the late Bob Hoskins Could you just drink the fucking wine Now Larry the fucking cable guy movie Yeah I'm mad at my agent Call cut whatever you want Do you think people thought he was going to be like The next big thing

Like do you think there was going to be like It's hard to tell that you know what I mean Like look at Adam Sandler Could you ever imagine like you would have been as big as he was No But I mean, like, Larry the cable guy is pretty successful. Oh, yeah. This is like massive.

We're talking about food stuff that he peddles. He's in commercials. There's movies, shows, Pixar voices. He's fine. And people tweeting us those pictures might not know. They don't sell those in our state. Yeah, we can't go out to the bodega and get those. That's real unfortunate.

I can't get carpet cleaner flavored potato chips. I was just thinking maybe he's more of a regional star. I don't, you know. Not a lot of crossovers, what you're saying? Yeah, you got to make it on the coasts. Yeah, sure. And I can't imagine anyone listening from Europe really has a grasp on what Larry the Campbell guy is.

Yeah. They just look at it. They look at him and go, oh, that's what's wrong with them. So he's like romantic this girl. He just had some, like, poisoned wine. And he goes to her apartment where her mother... By the way, you know what my favorite part of this movie was? What's that?

When I forgot that Lisa Lampinelli was in it. Oh, yeah. The 30 minutes that I was like, oh, yeah. Between the credits, I'm like, oh, man. And then I was like, oh, it's farting. And I was like, oh, man. Yeah, wow. It is, you reminded quick of how much you don't care for Lisa Lampinelli.

She plays her mother. It's fine. It happens for a second. And they're like going at it with each other. I love a shashy fat chair. Well, that's the thing is this is how What's Her Face knows that Larry might be a keeper. Because she does this whole thing with like, oh, let's hang out on the porch. And, you know, oh, then it devolves into like, I have a roommate.

And he's like, let me just weasel on in here. And it's like there's Lisa Lampinelli being this obnoxious mother. And he's like, she shit talks him in like some Lisa Lampinelli improv line. And he's like, I love sex. assy fat chicks and they like hit it off and they're just like insulting each other and she's looking on from the kitchen like

oh he's getting along with my mother it would be great if like the father was Don Rickles you know what she should have done was just burn the house down like you know you guys go at it you guys go at it that's a good idea yeah like put a chair under the door

lock that shit oh no did they goos but So he goes to her house and he's about to make a move And he starts farting again And this is when he has massive diarrhea And like this is not the dumb and dumber scene Like the dumb and dumber Jeff Daniels scene is funny

A because it's Jeff Daniels Who has usually a lot of dignity And B And like it's just the way that they cut it And the way that they're intercutting it with stuff It's just Larry in a cheaply lit room With his fat thighs up going Oh what a hunker

and like farting into a toilet bowl and I wanted to throw up. My cattle threw up. A whole goose comes out. There's a gag where he like runs out of toilet paper and pulls like, oh, you gotta be kidding me! And it's just like a shit Niagara Falls is happening.

He also says later in the movie, he's like, remind your mother I or a cat towel. And I'm like, oh, fuck. Well, because you see it. He contemplates wiping his ass with a hand. Because he ran out of TV Because he just keeps shit There's another part of the movie

Where also he's in a place That had ran out of TP You know he was Wait he runs out of toilet paper Twice in this movie No Like the chicken That's you're using it too much

That's more your problem The chicken shack The guy warns him A Bruce Bruce yeah Warns him that there's No toilet paper in there Oh that's okay I got my health inspection

Oh, right, his paperwork is like, I'm going to wipe my butt with my paperwork. Well, because that's the whole dynamic that this group has, right? The new girl that's the partner is like super stuffy by the book. And he's just like, the man of the people health inspector. And she comes up and she's like, I think you have like, you know, personal interest clouding. Your judgment, your friend Bruce Bruce's chicken shack has a list of offenses. And here they are.

And he's like, I'm going to wipe my ass with it. Bye, bye, partner, who's a little boy? Or something? More like a... No. No, no, no, no, no, Larry. There's probably a lot of that on the cutting room floor. Like, you can't release this hate movie?

The best stuff. You left the best stuff out. Oh, Hollywood. There's a part in this movie where they directly lift a joke from Animal House. Sure, why not? Why wouldn't you? Because she's talking about, like, oh, maybe something, something. And, like, we need a backup plan.

Oh, because it's like, they find out that, like, Joey Pants is possibly in on the restaurant poisonings. By the way, this is all because there's a local TV top chef-esque contest happening. So the whole thing is, like, an Agatha Christie, like, who's doing the poisoning to, like, eliminate all these other restaurants from the competition kind of thing. It is very Agatha Christie-esque. The lights went out when everything came back. on Larry's shit all over the floor. No, but so she's like, you know, I don't think we should just like go,

because he's like, let's go bust him on live television. And she's like, maybe we should have like a backup plan. And he starts doing like, did the Navy have a backup plan when they fought Godzilla in the ocean? Did the Navy, did so much over better. And it's when Belushi is like... Yes, they did.

Right, Belushi's talking about the Pearl Harbor and everything. And when the Germans Bob Pearl Harbor. Harbor. Yeah, and it's like, it's that, it's like, beat for beat, that joke and it's just like, someone knew they were ripping off Animal House. Like, there was enough comedy in the room. Homar.

No, it's not. Homage. Honey mustard-flavored homage. Hey, cool. Because she, oh, in one of the most offensive scenes in the movie, she sees Joey Pants, ask a chef, a fancy snooty friend's to poison

the restaurant. He's like, just put a little bit on this. I cannot do this. It's too much grass on us. And then, like, Joey Pants finds her out. He's about to bust her. And Larry comes in dressed like a chic. Oh, boy, howdies. That is awful.

I think they cut that scene down to nothing because it only lasts, like, 30 seconds. You know Larry had a fucking ball in that whole fucking get up. Oh, sure. But, like, the end of it, he definitely does, like, a Zena, like. Aye, aye, aye, aye, aye. When he's, like, walking out of the restaurant. But it's also, like, It's been established that he knows the mayor.

The mayor actually, for some unforeseen reason, up to this point, likes Larry. Sure. Because he knows that Larry's a health inspector, so he's buttering him up. Right. Hey, butter. This disguise isn't fooling anyone. Are you kidding me? Larry, what's with all that stuff on your head?

It's just Larry the cable guy with a sheet over his head. And he's wearing, he found these somewhere, aviator sunglasses. Sure. Yeah, he looks like fucking King Abdullah from Jordan. Okay, he's really pulling it off. I'm surprised Jeff Dunham isn't in this movie. That's a good question. That's a team up movie waiting to happen.

Wait a second. Here's the movie. Just thought of it. Late on me. Let me run this by you guys. It's a movie where Jeff Dunham, average obnoxious puppeteer, right? Introduces a new puppet.

Oh, shit. And it's Larry the cable guy. Oh, nice. Right? And as a puppet. This is a twilight zone. It's like Freddy versus Jason. And then the puppet comes to life, played by actual Larry the Cable Guy.

And it's like a buddy comedy. Okay. I would want to make this movie. So, oh, let's talk about the fantasy sequence in this movie. So basically, he humiliates himself on live TV. He tries to take down Joey Pants, but Joey Pants is a good alibi. And this, for some reason, like, it gets aired on TV. Some fat guy was harassed in the mayor.

Yeah, I guess because he's doing an interview with some, like, local news thing and Larry busts in and he's like making a big to-do and they just they keep broadcasting it I think they

is there not a cut to a control room where somebody's like keep the fat guy on the feed or something like that but it should have happened watch this fat guy

burn his life down I think you were just hearing the director off screen no I mean we have to show that that literally we're contractually

obligating that fat guy's name is in the title of our movie we have to show him at all times but so his life goes to shit and there's this really long

falling action of this movie like an incredibly because it's a short movie and like yeah it's a lot of him just walking around hang dog and like feeling bad and then he gets drunk and takes a nap and he has a fantasy about how to fix everything see and I missed like the setup for this because I was like

when did he take this like when did he go to sleep do you see that happen I think you do I'm not super sure because all of a sudden it's like things are going oddly well for him he busts the dude yeah hey cool is right like he walks back into the office and everyone's applauding

him and like Tom Wilson's giving him a promotion and it's like here's your new office and it's just like a man cave situation and then like his lady friend is there and she's like in lingerie and it's like let's fuck and then

kid rock is there like I don't know Larry weren't we supposed to go fishing Oh, man, hanging out with kid rock, that's got to be so cool. No, it doesn't. The deer on the wall, like, dead by dawn, dead by dawn. That would be fantastic. Dude, if a huge, like, grandfather clock just started chiming in this movie. I would love it.

Oh, my God. I'd love to see him torn to pieces by monsters. Oh, now I got to cut off my... My right hand that I use for dipping sauces. And jerking all. Oh, no. Do I cut off my dipping hand or my wiping hand? I need some both.

Oh, my God. Yeah, and then Kid Rock turns into a zombie, zombie Kid Rock. Oh, yeah. And then somebody shoots him in the head because that's the right thing to do. Exactly. Let's just say he's a zombie anyway. Oh, yeah, that Kid Rock, he's a zombie. And then like the deer is just The deer's like

Well hey Larry You better go fuck that girlfriend Because if you hang out and go fishing with Kid Rock And turn down pussy you're gay And King Rock's like That deer's got a point Larry He totally says that Jesus Christ

It's so stupid And there's a kid rock American song going on During this whole thing Because like buy my album folks That's the only reason he's there Is he got a song on the soundtrack Well because that was during his like Uh oh the Bush era is where the money's at

Where he like stopped being a rap superstar Oh bah would to ball When ball would to out the window And he became a country artist And made a ton more money Yeah well There's that Well there's that

Is uh what's his face Still alive? Joe C? No he passed on So he wakes up, by the way, from this dream, not in an evil-dead panic. Or on like the side of a road with his head through a windshield. He wakes up inside of a refrigerator and a garbage dump. No, he wakes up with a huge disgusting erection. Jesus Christ, you can see this dude's fake hard dick in this movie.

Come on. And it's gross because he's in like Larry the King. table guy little kid sheets like it's like monster trucks on it no it's like clowns isn't it it's fucking repulsive it's like clowns holding balloons I thought it was hard to tell with that tent pitched

and he just wakes up and he's like oh greet the morning first you saw my ass crack now you saw my hard penis what look are you going to get it Larry next we all we do see is

big fat belly later. Oh, sure. Well, that goes without saying. I feel like I've seen it all. Larry the cable guy stars in Taint. That could be it. Oh, no. My colonoscopy's getting aired on television. Oh, someone uploaded it to Yous Tube. I wonder if Dan J.O. Washington is watching this. You know what, man? I would love to watch us to act off each other. Imagine they had to do an award at the MTV movie awards. That's like the only way that could have it. That's the only way the Twain shall meet.

Yes, Shania Twain would be there too. Yeah, for sure. No, now we're talking the CMT Awards. Densel Washington's not set foot in that. He knows better. Maybe the Espies. The Espies, that's a possible crossover. Hey, Denzel, I heard LeBron James

had a great season. Denzel's like, aren't you giving out a fishing award do they give out SB for like heaviest bass no I hope so they might have that ask car maybe that I think all of those

are on like the you know the Oscars technical awards that they talk about separately and it's always the brunch the prior weekend hosted by Jeff Dunham the week before it's like fishing hosted by Jeff Dunham and Ahmed the Dead Terran

standing oh every time man every time so where are we at this movie it's kind of the end like he basically is like oh man I can't even figure this movie out or nothing because he thinks it was Joey Pants but it didn't seem like it was

he also saw Joey Pants at Megan Price's house I want to fuck your girlfriend Larry hey Larry I want to fuck your girlfriend I want to get on a stool and fuck your girlfriend Can I borrow your pickup truck to fuck your girlfriend? I came here and Jeff Dunham's trunk. I'm an Italian puppet come to life.

I was taking a nap in his closet and he thought I was Ekman. He was actually, but in real life he was crafted by Jepetto. He got loose. Oh, that fucking blue fairy, don't get me started. Why can't I be turned into one of those half donkey boys? I follow this fucking fox, Larry. You've seen an apple. You ever see a foxed eat at apple?

He's a small man. Well, there's some, what's the sex? There's some sort of sex scandal in this movie with Joey Pans? Because, like, he's a pervert. I mean, like, that's the thing. He's, like, he's peeping on people and, like... He's doing, like, he's, like, hooking up with women under his online alias. Like, I think he's actually...

meeting women. Like, I think it's a client nine situation. Well, that's the thing, though, is that's how that's how they put the pieces together. Larry is able to somehow solve this mystery that Joey Pants's online handle is whatever 23, whatever it is. And he saw that, what is it? Big baller. Oh, is it big baller, 23? Whatever it is. Like, he saw that chat window come up on Joanna Cassidy's computer. Yeah. So he like puts two and two together that they're like working together. or something and then like he he confronts him a second time it's like two confrontation scenes in 15 minutes right is this on the bench yeah park bench yeah yeah by the way joe pans leon i had no idea what this movie was about like it's so clear that he read one page at a time and it was like sure whatever you need me to do

weird because like he's a good actor and like his career post sopranos what to absolute dog shit i just yeah i don't you know do you think he was supposed to be more than one of those matrix movies and he pissed off the Wechowski's. No, he's dead, man. Yeah, he died in the first one. No, I know. That's what I'm saying. I don't know.

They rewrote some stuff on the set. I think he was betting on Daredevil. Oh, yeah. Like it a notch, you son of a bitch, you're still going to burn. I love that guy. What is that dozer? I believe that's Dozer. It's Tank or Dozer, the brothers that you can never remember.

Those are great names, right? Tank and Doze. Are those their Christian names? I think so. No, everybody liked me on this set. I love Dozer and Tank. Shut up, Cypher. At one point, now, see, I do this.

I got a problem. I'll, like, write down random lines that I think are, like, outrageous, but then I don't put them in context. Yeah, me too, yeah. So here's one. Let's see if we can piece this together. Singing like an autistic choir boy at the American Idol. That's a line in this movie. It's like, oh, I'm going to make a machine like, I'm like a lot of, you know, and he does a whole day.

Oh, yeah, so that's, that's just one long joke sentence. Right, yeah. He hates autistic people. Add it to the list. Yeah, because he's perfect. Yeah, he always couches it and like, I'm just a fat idiot. If you can't handle it, I'm making fun of myself. I'm like, not really.

Like, you know what I mean? Like, you're supposed to be our cipher. Right. It's like you're not. Ooh, cipher. You're not making fun of your. if yourself is like a persona. Yes. You know what I mean? Like he's playing a character.

Yeah. He's playing an idiot. And I guess he's supposed to be so offensive that we find him idiotic. No, you weren't. No, no, no. You're supposed to relate to this. Yeah. Yeah. No, exactly. Like actual Larry the Cable Guy fans that will go out and see him do stand up comedy at big concert halls. It's like, oh, man, here's more of what we love. It's finally somebody saying it. Somebody's got the guts to say. I've heard, you know, people defend him like, oh, you know, that comedy is just not for you. And you shouldn't have a problem with that.

And I tried to listen to some. And my goodness, does he hate certain types of people from San Francisco? And you know what? And of course, that's how he's contextualizing that joke, by the way. That's where they all live, right? That's not for, it's not for me. It's not for anybody. No, it shouldn't be for anybody.

I agree. I mean, you know, tell. diarrhea jokes until the cows come home. That's fine. You have your fart too hard, your back cracks. That's a line in this movie. I think he said that on their first date, doesn't he? I guarantee you that's his opener. If you walk that on stage,

that's the, that's the, do you think he ever, like, plays that moment of silence? Because he knows they're all waiting. Oh, yeah. And he just like walks around the stage, and they're all like woo-hoo and then he's like, nah. And then he goes to the other side of the stage. Like, is he going to say it over he walks around the back of the set for a little bit.

Yeah, make him want it. Then he just comes right out front and just says it. And the place goes wild, right? And then Denzel Washington, who has gotten tickets to Larry the Cable guy, is like, oh, as a Christmas press, he's like, I'll give it a shot. You know, I'm an open, it's theater. I love the theater. Larry the Cah, oh, so he does a character?

Oh, that's interesting. Maybe this will be like the time I was in Raisin and the Sun. you ever fought you hard you back crack well we're leaving I don't go I haven't even talking about the Turner daughter

oh my god oh mercy so whatever we get to this final act this competition now it's like an iron chef situation almost it's Bruce Bruce

Bruce versus Joanna Cassidy Bruce Bruce by the way is probably the funniest stand-up comedian in this movie. But by leaps and bounds. Yeah. Although I felt so terrible for him because this movie's so poorly put together. No one's paying attention. This poor guy's got

sweat marks all over his face. And it's changing like from take to take. Like you cut back. He's got like tons of sweat streaks and then they're gone in the next second. It's probably a situation where it's filmed in like Atlanta and they didn't know how to film with the air conditioning on. They're like, oh, you pick

it up. We got to turn it off. Yeah. No, this was, I mean this was a Larry the Cable Guy production. This is all in Florida. Nobody gave a shit. I sat through, I gave a shit. I sat through all these credits. But no one making the movie. Oh, gave a shit about wiping away Bruce versus sweat tears. Or doing anything. Some more Jewish jokes. Larry's like, I need a disguise to break. It's really just dragging this movie out or trying to get this movie to the required movie amount of time. This is

where you get your montage of him trying on discages. Which is like, you could just dress like a normal fucking person. Fair and change. Nobody knows who you are. Yeah, exactly. We're fucking a jacket. How about you wear a jacket? How about this?

Sleeves. Yeah, they will never recognize you. Sleeves and take your bass fishing hat off. There's your disguise. But this is when it's like, he's honestly trying to find disguises to go to this chefing contest. He puts on a jukita banana girl outfit. Oh, boy, does he ever?

Like these bugs fucking. buddy like dude you're an adult man and like there's a second cartoon bunny rabbit yeah well Deadpool right this movie's kind of like Deadpool it's kind of like Deadpool it's kind of like Deadpool and doesn't he like that's

the one that he stops for a second it's like so what do you think and like his tailor is like his acidic Jewish Taylor it's very important that his Taylor is a Hasidic Jew because then he just dresses like him yeah he's like I got the perfect disguise

So let me just rip off that beard. Well, you know, if a local Orlando public television audience is filled with anything, it's Hasidic Jews. So I'm sure his disguise helped him blend right in. So he breaks in and like they kind of do a naked gun where Larry takes a microphone into the bathroom. Oh, right. While Joanna Cassidy is like talking to this sister character or this daughter. that she had. I think it's her daughter who's like supposedly

in line to like take over this restaurant or that's just an F plot story that nobody cares about. And she's talking about like oh you know one day like all right how are we going to poison this and poison that in the whole audience like and like Larry's getting the goods on this woman but uh oh he

farted because he was sitting on a toilet you ever sit on a toilet dressed like a Hasidic Jew and fart and ruin your case and ruin your life and ruin Joe Pantleano's career all at once? Yes, I have. You ever embarrassed the woman that was in Roger Rabbit?

Oh, that I've done. You ever, like, be the low point in multiple legitimate actors' career? That must be something. So then, like, the... Doesn't the daughter, like, beat the shit out of him in this bathroom? They get into a fight, yeah. And then, like, Joanna Cassidy and Ireland. Sparer get into a fight and like Joanna Cassidy has to get like a wedgy at some point

and it's like oh man you were on six feet under man like she was like a day before oh one ridiculous detail that's like relevant for 2016 in this movie is that there's at some point around here he's threatening Joey pants yeah and he's like oh no don't mess up my shirt it's a Donald Trump original yeah and then like Larry like looks in, he's like, wow, that's a nasty crafting shirt or something like that. So it's like, you got commercials for this Pricks clothing line

in here. It just makes he sick. That's thrown in. Oh, actually, kind of a funny joke around here. They do the thing where it's like, at our judges panel, local TV critic, you know, Frank Johnson, you know,

Weatherman, Lucinda, whatever. And then it's like, TV's Jerry Mather's. It's just the beve it's it's your classic mid 2000s random celebrity joke yeah I don't know

it got me though and like he's making a bunch of sports bets over the phone to a bookie it's not great but it's kind of fun look you need something to stay awake in this thing

oh he doesn't even speak in this movie I don't think he even opens his his beard or mouth you have him like whispering into a phone like I'm going to take 200 on Denver oh okay something like that

there's no like lying that he gets. No. Well, it's overshadowed by the daughter beating the shit out of him in the bathroom. And when she shoves his face into a toilet bowl says say shalom to the toilet. Yeah. Because he's still got some of that Hasidic costume on. Say Shalom to the toilet. In which he replies, don't, like he then somehow beats the shit out of her. And he says,

don't mess with Hasidic Larry. Like he's an action figure. Now, Hasidic Larry, complete with curls and box hat. Hey, Jeff, not doing anything for you, Hasidic Larry? I could be one of your puppets, Jeff. I'm trying to be one of his puppets. How about that Chiquita Banana costume? Make a puppet out of that, get her done, sexy puppets. Oh, he's a pig.

Yeah, he is. So it all kind of wraps up. he calls at this point Tony Hale is revealed to be the bad guy and like this reveal happens way too often to these bad comedies yeah you ever see the movie The X with Jason Bateman and Zach Brath he's like no but I know of it he's like paralyzed and like that's the whole thing and then at the end like he's a bad guy so he's not paralyzed Zach Brath is? No uh Jason Bateman like he's like a bad guy's like a dick

and then basically at the end like uh oh he's not paralyzed at all it's like you know what that is I don't care and you can confirm or deny that this also happens in that movie? Because this is what it does in this movie. It absolves Larry the cable guy from making so many jokes at the expense of his paralysis. Yeah, it does too. Yeah. Throughout

the fucking movie. And then it's like oh, he's a bad guy and he's faking that paralysis. So don't worry, all those crippled jokes are totally legitimately hilarious because he's... Don't worry, he ain't actually it. He's just exploiting the system.

Yeah. And he's like, oh, hey Thomas Wilson, you go to a gay pride parade, Flipper? He calls him Flipper for some or he says, I know you're not a flipper and I don't even

know what that is. I don't know. I've heard a lot of terms for a lot of things. That one's never crossed my plate. Hey, but don't worry you're going to a gay bar

to celebrate. You're like Danny DeVito's the penguin, right? Showing everybody your French flipper trick? I may now be Hasidic Larry, but I still love

making gay jokes. that would be something if in this new Ben Affleck directed Batman movie he's it's it's Dan Whitney as the penguin oh not his cynically maybe the same outfit possibly you'll be according to the other jokes in this movie he'd be the villain taking over Gotham with his evil banking he does yell about uh uh Tony Hale he says Stop. What is it? Oh, stop that wannabe crippled, by the way. And just another, just get another cripple in there. Just got to go there somewhere. And then he winds up, what you would call it,

Dave Kekner throws a soccer ball at his head. And like, isn't it his dick? Oh, yeah, yeah. You hit some, it's a real nerd shot. Not going to be booed any dick beard in that. So then it's like, you know, whatever. The. day is saved. I guess they don't really mention it, but I guess technically Bruce Bruce wins that top chef thing by default. I mean, so much of this movie is so

sloppy. I mean, if you're like, why is the plot to make no sense? Right. The plot makes no sense. Like, there's no rhyme or reason to scene. It just kind of happens a bunch. It's just a bunch of scenes barely stitched together. At the end, um, he is about to hook up with Megan Price and

it's like, get her done. And like, Iris out or whatever. To the camera looking at him. get her done. Yeah, uh-huh. And then, because you don't say it throughout the movie, right? He only says it that one time.

No, it's just that one time. Now, correct me from wrong. Now, did he have a getter done hat on it any time or is it in this scene? I think I saw... I like that it's like a sedent hearing. Excuse me, sir, Mr. Whitney. Did you wear a getter done hat at any time?

I don't know if he had a... At any time, did you or your associates wear a getter done hat? Here's why it's impossible to tell, because it's always that dip shit camouflage hat with, like, black or brown text on it, so you can't read it anyway.

Thank you, Mr. Whitney, for coming to the White House. I would like, now, could you please testify if you were wearing a Gitterdown hat? At the time that Superman threw Zad, through a bunch of buildings, were you wearing that camouflage hat or wet? Mr. Dunham, you contend that your puppets are racist and you're not?

Whose hands are in the puppet, sir? I do appreciate your time. I'm a big fan. You think Ahmed could shine my bra. Oh, man. I'm sure someone has said that to him in the course of his life. That's chilling. That's the movie.

There's a bit of a gag reel. Well, it's not at the start a gag reel, which sucks, because it's a we're continuing the movie after the credits. Sure. Because it's like, hey, Roger Ebert, fuck you. it's like what is it oh it's

the partner goes on a date with Bruce Bruce yeah because there's like a little romantic tension there yeah and so it's like well we gotta wrap that up let's bring that back around she's dressed like a girl

what you watch it and then there's like there's dumb shit oh it's actually really uncomfortable when he's like come on say it

you say it now I said get her done now you say it and she's like get her done And then he's like, cool, and starts, like, fake making out with her. Yikes. Nobody's calling cut, huh?

It's so weird. Producer Dan Whitney. I got final say over when this takes stops. It's in my contract. Larry gets to say cut once. I saved it for this. So I have a review of this film posted February. Oh, yeah.

It's in the back of the. IBB Tribune are the personals and the message board Oh, right, right, right. So it's about this film. Originally, I thought it was overrated. And maybe I still do. But the Larry the Cable guy,

but the Larry the Cable guy actually isn't boring. The Larry the Cable. What the fuck? You can only receive from the, and here is a true statement. You can only receive from the film what you put in.

Well, that's, yeah, that's fair. If you pay attention, then you'll get a lot out of it. Could you just pay attention? Just pay attention to this Larry the Cable Guy movie, please. Despite being somewhat of a film buff, I haven't seen this film in its entirety until recently. Although some of the stuff may have been carried out quite a bit, I still feel like

everything in the film was necessary to the plot, and I enjoyed the Larry the Cable guy quite a bit. enough to put it as the number one film of all time question mark i don't know but i do know that it is a very well-made film and if you don't you didn't like it watch it again pay attention i can't put it any simpler than that one of the things i particularly loved about the film was the ending probably one of the best i've ever seen as for larry the cable guy as a movie in total, I'd have to give it

about a nine out of ten. Now, wait, wait, wait, wait. What element of this film do you think prevented this from being a ten-star movie? No nudity. Oh, yeah. No, theirs are boobers.

Yeah, you'd want some boobers in this. I've seen better, but I would definitely recommend the film. I think it's one of the best made films of all time. but it certainly isn't my favorite I'm sorry but didn't a few sentences back

they say is this the best film of all time? I don't know I guess they made up their mind It's one of the best It's not the best Oh I see Anyway can we like I know this might get too intrusive

But can we see what other reviews They posted to try to suss out Oh that's a good call The best movies of all time I will But he closes with What do you guys think Write what you think about what I said

And post your opinions on the movie Thanks guys Here's my reply Nah All right Did anyone respond I would not say 9 out of 10 I'd say about 6 out of 10

He has a bunch of replies Let me see what you're fun Oh is this This is just on the boards then This is how I thought this was a published review It's not a published review That's why we're not giving a name If it's a published review

in a professional thing, that person's putting themselves out there. You misunderstand me, sir. Sir, you misunderstand me. In IMDB, there is a message board. But there is also user reviews. Oh. So I thought this was a user review.

Oh. It's just a board. Yeah, unfortunately. Yeah, well, yeah, with the board, all right. The boards have spoken. Well, let the board hunters get it then. Pardon me, sir. Did you read that as a user review?

Or did that come off the boards? There's a difference. I know you're sitting there thinking there ain't a difference, but there's a difference. There is. Doomsdy? Did you write that off the boards or a user review? Man, I'm surprised there's not more diarrhea at the end of this movie. Like, how do you not have a closing remark and it's shitting your pants?

I mean, when he was fighting that lady, he shat. That's probably. He shat probably a little bit, right? There's too many scenes of him shitting his pants. We have to make cuts somewhere. Do you guys think they got married and lived happily ever after? How could you have sex? Look, Dan Whitney is whatever he is.

A very rich man. I don't know from anybody. How could anyone have sex with the Larry the Cable Guy character? Right. I think there's plenty of people who would want to. There's a lot of teaching that would have to be done, I'd feel. Yeah, what are those? What do I do with that?

Star fucking. get aboard oh well you mean actually fucking like Dan Whitney as the personality we're talking about fucking the Larry character

that's ostensibly the same man in all of these movies right because in all these movies he's got like babes and ex-wives and people who either plan on or have already engaged in sexual intercourse with him now maybe beauty is in the eye

of the beholder and we're seeing this through the gaze of Larry and in real life, everyone around him looks more or less like him. Yeah, that's what I'm getting at. That's what I'm getting at. That's fair. I see. Would anybody recommend this movie? No, it's weak

for even Larry Fair. It's Larry Fair. Welcome to Larry Fair. Everybody gets to wear a cutoff shirt and a camouflage hat. We're all eating chicken. They'll be jousting at noon. Hey, you know what? the only similarity between

Larry Fair and Renaissance Fares is we don't believe in evolution King George W. Bush No I would not No no this is detestable Yeah I guess I would not either

It is short and sweet And if you're in a peat Well just like as in like you're in and you're Oh sure sure sure not sweet like emotionally Sir did you taste movies. That's Larry the Cable Guy Health Inspector

directed by Trent Cooper. For more we hate movies, check out our website WHMpodcast.com. Like us on Facebook and follow us on Twitter. We are at WHM podcast. And write us a little letter to that mailbag. We all hate movies at gmail.com.

Rate and view the show wherever you get it. We'd greatly appreciate it. And one other thing is there's another social media outlet that we haven't plugged in a long time. That's going I think, you know, we're getting up to almost 900 members. Oh, really? That's the subreddits. Oh.

Which I know is a dark corner of the internet, but if you are there, Reddit.com slash R slash we hate movies, all one word. Yeah, I can't tell you what happens on the rest of Reddit, but we have a lot of fun conversations on there. I presume it's kind of the same thing on other Reddit, but just more, this thread is focused on us and the show. Yeah, that's the important part. So that's it for Larry.

but next week it's another live episode oh yeah it's uh what is what is this it's our trip to water world live at the dc improv from back in december we're talking kevin costner we're talking drinking we're talking good audio quality because i know listen i'm telling folks you know if you're like oh live podcast they always sound like horse dittle well tune in check it out we've been trying to do our best to get the audio quality as best as possible. Yeah. On these recent live shows. So next week we're talking about and reading about

drinking pee. Until then, I'm Andrew Jupin. Steven Seda. Eric Siska. Take it easy. Dick Beer. Dick Beer.