We Hate Movies - S6 Ep256: Episode 256 - Another 48 Hrs.

Episode Date: June 28, 2016

On this week's show, the #SBE2016 rolls into Unnecessary Sequel Country as the gang discusses the totally unwanted, Another 48 Hrs.! How do they not set up the 48 hours time table in the final cut? Why are they not both private detectives in this one? And drink every time "Nick Nolte" says goddammit! PLUS: M. Emmet Walsh somehow goes shopping at a FYE. Another 48 Hrs. stars Nick Nolte, Eddie Murphy, Brion James, Kevin Tighe, Ed O'Ross, and Tisha Campbell; directed by Walter Hill.Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This week on the show, we're talking about a useless sequel, if there ever was one. It's another 48 hours. I'm Andrew Jupe and Steven Zadak. Eric Siska. And we hate movies. Hello everyone, welcome to We Hate Movies on the Side Show Network. Thank you for tuning in, as always. This week, the summer blockbuster extravaganza pulls back into sequelville for a movie that is so lazy.

They just put another at the front of it. It's another 48 hours from 1990, directed by the great director, Walter Hill. This is a bit of a misstep for Mr. Hill. I feel like that would be, that's an underused sequel name. template. Another teenage mutant ninja turtles? Another teenage mutant ninja turtles? Oh, another lethal weapon. That could be, and then it's like yet another lethal weapon, still another lethal weapon. Yeah. That could totally work. Another teen wolf for sure. That makes more sense than Teen Wolf 2, to be completely honest. That's true. How about another independence day? And now the aliens attack Canada.

Oh, sure. Just specifically Canada? Yeah. Well, the last time they were going for world domination. Another Star Wars. Oh, that's pretty cool. That would be... That is good. That is good.

But when was Canada's independence, 1982? I don't know when they finally shook off the queen. I think that'd be fun. I'm sure someone knows. Hey, let us know. When did Canada gain its independence? Another boogie night. Oh, that would be a sad movie.

Another Schindler's list. Who do we had two lists? Did you know There was another list What is this another list? Oh, here we go again. Holy shit. You know what?

I'll tell you one thing. You can get Ben Kingsley for that movie Because that guy will do anything. Oh, absolutely. See him as the Mandarin in Iron Man 3. So another 48 hours made eight years after that first one. So everybody was really chanting

outside the studio to get this made. Why? I mean, like, the thing is, the thing about the first 48 hours, which I think we'll wind up talking about a little bit here, is that it's like that, it's one of the first,

what do you call it there? It's one of the first... Buddy comedies? Buddy comedies. It's your proto-lethal weapon. It's your proto-lethal weapon. It's your proto-lots of things. So, like, after all that happens

to come back and do it again. And it's, you know, it's a carbon copy sequel. Yes. It's kind of just the same thing. I haven't seen

the first 48 hours in maybe like a couple years. Here's the thing. I don't like either of these movies because I feel and this is really why

is I think where you do have like Eddie Murphy at the height of his Eddie Murphyist, the problem with this being like an action comedy is Walter Hill

directs like serious fucking violence. Yeah. Which is fine, but it doesn't fit, it's square peg round hole with an Eddie Murphy movie. So it's just, it's weird to me where like Eddie Murphy is like mouthing off one second. And then some dude gets like shot through the throat and you see it. Yeah. It makes no sense.

No. And at least the first movie functioned more like a movie. Like it felt, you know, like for instance, the 48 hours makes sense in that movie. Yeah. Eddie Murphy's got six months left on his sentence. He sprung from the clink by Nick Nulte for 48 hours only. Right. And there is like sort of a clock and there's there's stakes and there's problematic racism.

Oh, all over that first movie. And it's kind of like, you know, it's got that like Walter Hill grit, but it kind of works in those settings. And it's not a great movie, but it's a movie. It's a movie. It's a movie. It for one. is a movie and I mean that's the first thing we should get out of the way is that the original this is like a studio chop job movie the original cut of this movie was 135 minutes good gravy yeah

final theatrical cut like 97 95 something like that wait how long 135 two hours and 15 minutes so it was Batman versus Superman oh just about almost yeah like super long movie and it's Fuck, here comes Doomsday. Oh, you want to fucking fight me, Doomsay? Here we go. Fucking third act, alien, sure. Let's do it. Wait, does that make Eddie Murphy Batman?

Yes, yes, it does. I'd see that movie. Oh, goddamn and Lois Lane in that tub, I'm going to fuck out. That was a weird scene in Batman versus Superman. Oh, the bathtub sack? Sure. Yeah. I'm hoping for the longer cut.

It's going to do what? gets it wet in the longer cut man oh totally hey can we plug that right now sure just say we're going to do we will do an on screen of that extended cut it's going to happen we don't know when it's going to happen but don't tell me it's not going to happen I saw it happen so yeah they cut a bunch of stuff out of this

including the part where Nick Nulte specifies that they do indeed have another 48 hours to do something like there was a clock in this movie Nick Nelty Nick Nelty's being investigated by IAB in this movie the Internal Affairs Bureau Rightfully so, to be quite honest.

Well, you know, we saw what actually went down, though. We saw, you know, what... Oh. Yeah. That dude shot first. Oh. That dirt bike exchange? Right.

But so there is this thing where, like, he has 48 hours until this court appearance that he has to make, where he might be going down. So he's got 48 hours to clear himself. But for some reason, the geniuses at Paramount and whoever else were fucking around with this movie, cut out the part where they explained the fucking 48 hours But here's the thing is I was so thrilled

that this movie was only 95 minutes Oh sure Because like good great I don't like any of these characters No And I like Eddie Murphy You know

80, 85 to like 90 whatever Like I'm all in the Oh this is prime Eddie Murphy Absolutely prime Nick Nolte too Like he's you know Yeah Well yeah They're both fatter than that first movie

Nick Nalty more noticeably so But Eddie Murphy's like puffy in this movie. Yeah, well, you know, 91, everyone was loosening in their belts bar. Well, they all stopped doing cocaine, was the problem. Well, there's actually a line in this movie where Eddie Murphy, when he first catch his sight of this Nick Nalty coming through the door there. He says that he looks like he's lost weight.

Yeah. Which is, I don't know. What are you talking? I don't know what prison's done to his vision. And then Nick Nulte's all like, yeah, I quit drinking. Yeah, right. Yeah, right, this character, Jack, whatever. Turn my life around.

So this movie is kind of a tour of America's roadhouses in a way. Like, there's so many roadhouses in this movie. It's like a fucking diners, drive-ins and dives, but somehow even scuzzier. Yes, the tour of the roadhouse. What do you put in that? Paprika. Did you call it paprika? Yum, yum, yum.

Yeah. What do you call it? Too much cayenne in here. Can't even fucking hear myself taste. Oh, wow, bro. Because of fucking dokey sauce. What do I take it to Flavor Town? Let's throw a fist pound.

But this movie, so this movie starts off. I'm sorry, I'm just imagining Nick Nolte with spiked hair and a black goatee. Yikes. Oh, man. That's a fucking Halloween costume. That's what the devil looks like. It looks like Nick Nulti crosses Guy Fierry. He's wearing a flaming button-down shirt.

And he smells like cigarettes and donkey sauce, which ironically is just what donkey sauce smells like. I think you just, this you did challenge to all our fans with Photoshop out there. Yeah, that's true. I don't need to see that. I do. Oh, I need to see it. I need to look past the gates of hell, Steve. So we start at a roadhouse, and like it's one of the, it's your classic Walter Hill.

Like, you expect this to be like the end of the movie because we're establishing the roadhouse. There's like a white trash wind chime That's a jack of spades up against a can Some nonsense It's even worse It's like a card with like a can And it's like a spinning thing But there's also a bunch of rattlesnake rattlers

It's furnishings from the Texas Chainsaw Massacre House They have like furniture made out of bone Somewhere in here I guarantee it And these three bikers show up and get a drink A Bruske A brusky What they're doing that's very cool, by the way, that I will point out nerderly, is it's all like this, like, it's all totally dialogueless.

Yeah. It's like Walter Hill referencing the beginning of once upon a time in the West, which is like, it's all like totally silent until we just start fucking shooting everybody, which is pretty cool. Just like a bunch of ombrids just, you know, coming into town. But it's like, it's what's disgusting bikers. Yeah, exactly. That works better with horses, but. Most things work better. with horses. Just ask Mr. Hands.

Yeah, that documentary Zoo. God, that just keeps coming up, huh? Maybe we'll finally venture into the documentary world one of these days. That might be an on screen. Yeah, no, I can't go. Have you ever seen that, Eric? I have not, but oh, it's going to be an on screen. Oh, I will be an on scream. Because that's, in the credits, it's

death rattles, right? Yeah, that's part of it. So what were we saying about this roadhouse? So it's just, It's these three bikers. They're getting to drink. These cops show up. And for no reason, these bikers blow them away, man.

Yeah, this woman who I thought was Denise Crosby, Star Trek the next generation's Tasha Yarr. It wasn't, though. I thought it was that police academy character, Callahan. Yeah, you're right. That's what happened to Callahan. That's what happened to Callahan. Right. Most of the police academy when they graduated were killed by bikers.

Yeah, you didn't know it, but that totally happened. I would love that montage, like it's the end of that six feet under. How all the members of Police Academy died. Oh, my God, that's a great idea. Right? You're watching Tackleberry on the toilet and he just has a heart attack. That is how Tackleberry would go out. Yeah.

Nice. With his Tackleberry is exposed. I mean, there's got, how would Bobcat Goldwaith go? Oh. Is he falling off that balloon at the end of that movie, you think? Hey, everybody, I do! Yeah, he just falls to his death. Or, yeah, like, suicide off of the Golden Gate Bridge.

All right. Okay, Mahoney. Oh, that's a good question. That is the big fish. A sex worker has to be involved. I was going to say he dies having sex with a prostitute. Like a heart attack. Or maybe like an autoeratica situation.

Oh, yeah, it gets a caridine. Or just like maybe her pimp just stabs him in the back of the head. Oh, I like that. A little ice pick action. Yeah, exactly. What about Lassard? How's he going on? A Lassard, my God.

I feel like that's also a sex. Swallowed a goldfish. Also possible sex worker, yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. High Tower, Carbomb. Who would have guessed? Somebody really had it out for then-Judge High Tower. He's the guy, he's the judge in Dark Night.

I feel like one of them is like getting caught for something and brought into jail and just could shiv the shit out of him. Oh, yeah, because it turned out like they brought down a couple of dudes that were already in there. Maybe David Spade's character. I was just going to say, David Spade from cops on patrol. Citizens on patrol, thank you very much. You know what? I think the universe at large hates that one the most because like whenever HBO's like, No, my operation, Miami Beach.

No, and here's why. You would think that, and it's fair that you would both think that. But you're wrong because it's mission to Moscow, but go on. It's natural for you guys to think that and be totally wrong, and here's why. Because every time HBO is like, now it's all the Police Academy movies, Citizens on Patrol is always missing. Oh, really? The rest of them are all there. And I get fooled by this every fucking time, because it's like, hell yeah.

How about a fat guy weekend and some, you know, Police Academy Marathon? Oh, I can't because Part 4 is missing. Oh, well, maybe you shouldn't own them on DVD like I did. Now, I just got like, something just came to me out of nowhere. In Police Academy, I'm sorry for everyone listening. In Police Academy, Miami Beach, is that hunky beach cop? Is that Lloyd Braun? That is Lloyd Braun.

Oh, my God. It just came back to me. Which Lloyd Brown? It's from Seinfelds. There was two Lloyd Browns. The second one. The one that's also on Silicon Valley. The more famous.

Mr. from what's the movie? Hand that Rocks the Cradle. Yes. Matt McCoy? Matt McCoy. Wow, good for you. He replaces, what's his face?

Steve. Mahoney. Goodenberg. Oh, yeah, that's right. They're just like, oh, Mahoney graduated. He graduated to Coquin, too. Wow. I just got an itch.

for Miami Beach. I'm just saying next year in 2017 we'll do a Police Academy movie. Don't worry. It's got to happen. Sure. We'll figure it out. Maybe we'll be that fucking awful number six. That movie's terrible. Oh, yeah. That's what they're back in the city. Yeah. City Under Siege. Yeah.

So that in the theaters, I think. Did you really see City Under Siege in the theaters? You were you a baby dropped off on the doorstep? I was raised by the movies. No, it was just being the fat Projectionist from fucking Last Action Hero. Oh, yeah. You're still here, Steve.

Here comes shitty and Steve. That guy's a treasure. You think movies are your ally. I was born in one. That's Steve. Born in Police Academy. Six. So another 48 hours.

The next thing we see, so we see a bunch of people we don't know murder, some cops, we don't know. And we're like, hey, great. One of those dudes, by the way, is the evil genie from Wishmaster. Oh, right. The guy, he is now. Here's the biker? Yeah.

Is that the guy that's brother of Gantz? He's the brother of, what's his face? The first movie. The actor. Jeff. No, fucking 1-900 scumbag. Dexter's father. He's in the Warriors.

Oh, fucking. James Remar? Yes. I was just about to say, let's not use the internet. saved us. Yeah. He's the younger brother of James Remar's character.

Gotcha. And he's the dude who plays the fucking murderous gin in Wishmaster. He's also, which is a stay tuned. And another stay tuned from this man's story career is the movie Toy Soldiers, which we brought up last week. He plays the, the Colombian

drug lord that takes over a prep school. That's, that's all sounding great. Listen, I'm excited for We Hate Movie Season 7. Uh-huh. Yeah. So they just, they kill up these two cops. They, they brutally butcher this bartender who tries to call the cops on them. When someone's blowing up your, when there's bikers killing cops,

don't pick up the phone. Pretend you're cool with it. Oh, that's awesome. Celebrate it. Keep polishing a glass. Can I get you gentlemen, another bruskey? On the house. I love cop killers.

Yes, absolutely. Talk your way into it. Turn into the skid at that point. You are on their side for sure. Because you're not going to get, you're not going to call. You're not going to pick up a rotary phone and start clicking at it. So we fittingly go from a dusty roadhouse to a dirt bike race, which is not really well defined. But it's like an outside roadhouse, to be fair.

There's this guy who's working for the big boss. I forget his name in this movie. Got classical a little wormy dude. Was it like burrows? Yes, Burroughs. Burroughs is like this, he's like the money man. He gives these bikers some money that he goes away and they blow away some cops. And then he goes to this dirt bike race and he's given this other guy money.

And then Nick Nelties, like, hey, stop! And like, you're like, oh, okay. And he, they open fire on each other. And this guy lights up like a Christmas tree. Well, here's the thing. Like, this dude draws on Nick Nalty. Nick Nalty, this dude fires on Nick Nolty. Nick Nolty returns fire excessive.

Massively, basically purposely shooting a gas station tank that's in the middle of this dirt bike race and sets this man on fire. Can I borrow a phrase from Stephen Topolowski? Sure. Pause. Why would you do business during a dirt bike race? I'll tell you exactly what. There's alleyways to be done. There are road houses certainly up and down.

You know what? Hit it in plain sight. Is that what you're going to say? That's a good guess. and that's probably part of it, but I would also strongly wager. They're in the middle of this thing. You know what?

Like alleyways, these roadhouses, they can all be tapped. Oh, I see. You can't hear shit in the middle of a racetrack. Oh, yeah. And I think that's kind of what's going on. It's like they can't pick anything up out here.

It's like when the drug dealer turns music up way loud in movies. Oh, that's like when, yeah, when you go to the nightclubs to do your business. Oh, yeah, sure. Yeah. That's why you like the bathrooms with the loudest soundtracks. Turn the speakers up in that bathroom, will you? But also, in this sequence is also where every single Nick Nolte impression is pretty much derived because he starts almost every sentence in his, this is basically the opening scene of his.

Yes. Saying, God damn it. Oh, it's just go, God, damn it. Like, right away. And then it's like, well, there's different kinds of God damn it. There is like the action palpit. Oh, God, God, damn it. Like, he's, like, really getting, like, aggravated about something.

But then there's, like, later when, you know, the IAB and the other detectives come, and then it's, like, the red tape, God damn. Oh, God, damn it. No, I got to fucking put up with this bullshit. It's, like, the full gamut of God damnits that he does. And so it's Kevin Teague, who's the villain from K-9, which was an episode a while back. Isn't he one of the lethal weapon villains, or did I make that up? He kind of looks like diplomatic immunity guy, but that's not him.

Okay, that's what I'm thinking of. Yeah. Yeah, no, yeah, but he was definitely in K-9, I remember that. He's the bad guy in K-9, he was un-lost. He kind of just plays, you know, antagonists or hire. Yeah, when you couldn't afford J.T. Walsh in the 90s, you called this guy. Oh, man, I miss J.T. Wallach. Of course.

Yeah. We still got M. Emmett Walsh, though. They're not brothers. No, but, you know. Oh, man, the Walsh brothers? Oh, that would have been a cool movie. Such a cool movie. They're just going around kidnapping wives.

Hey, I got no problem taking your life either. Just an FYI. Man, if you... Kill you dead. If you showed up in breakdown, Kurt Russell would not have a fucking shot. No way, dude. I would be terrified if I saw Eminem at Walsh at, like, the mall.

Like, you know what I mean? Like, you go to an FY to pick up some cheap movies, and there's M.M. at Walsh buying, like, a Harley Quinn mug or something. Getting this from my granddaughter. Can't believe people resell all these CDs. She loves a suicide squad. It's nice than my granddaughter has a comic book hero to look up to. That's the thing.

That's a good point. Even at an F.E, he's going to strangle someone on his way. We're throwing that I'm not crazy, but the voices say I'm cool. shirt, too. This store might be for your entertainment, for strangling you to death and the food court is for my entertainment. Oh, and this

store's closing, that's a big surprise. Dude, I went to an F.I.E. like, two years ago, and they were trying to sell me on some loyalty thing, and I was like, are you kidding me, man? A loyalty membership to an F.Y. Is it stock?

Do I own this FYE now? All you got to do is buy this 10-stamp punch card and you own FYE. How was that FYE not a mirage? Yeah, what did you buy there? Can you go home and check that you still have it and it didn't just turn into sand? When you walked out of the store, did you look behind you and it was nothing there? Like, it was like a closed store. What did I buy?

It was mystic. The cassettes are also cursed. So, I mean, but basically they cannot, the IAB guy, it's your classic, and I think that the Internal Affairs Division is a really important division in the police department, to be quite honest. Yeah, but from, like, you know, police stories, they're always hated. It's always a piece of shit, rat, piece of fuck. Yeah. You know, and like, he's given Nolty shit because he blew this guy away in broad daylight in the middle of, I don't know, the world championship of dirt bike racing. Well, he's giving him shit because.

Because Nulte is indeed claiming... He got blood all over the ESPN8 table. Oh, no. They got blood all over our card table. No, what Kevin Teague's point is in this movie is that Nick Nalty is claiming that this dude fired on him first, but Kevin Teague is saying they cannot

find this guy's gun. Yes. So it's a classic case of like you overreacted. There was no gun. Yeah. I'm going to bring you down because I'm the I am. We as the audience know that he did fire and like that there's probably a police conspiracy that's probably more alluded to in the actual

159 minute cut of this movie yeah and Darkside makes a lot more sense than that cut as well God damn it Dark side oh man Nick Nultte is Darkside Sign me up

Hey Superman Roar That's how parent demons God damn it Don't you read a fucking comic book The Anti-Life Aquase equation. Now, what Nick Nalty says here, which is amazing.

Uh-huh. Because I'd never seen this movie before, because I don't like the first one either. But so, what he says to Kevin Teague in this instance is, I was getting really close to the ice man. I was like, the what now? And then, like, Kevin Teague is like, now everybody knows Nick Nalty, the ice man probably doesn't exist. And I was like, is this movie about Nick Nalty chasing a ghost or an X-Man? It's like he might as well have said he was chasing fucking Slender Man. He's like, I'm this close to fucking Slender Man.

Those two girls stabbed each other. Question is why. I just can't. And he's saying Ice Man throughout this entire. Everyone's saying Ice Man. Everybody is saying Ice Man. It's a known thing. And what does he find in the ruins of this man's?

Death, the picture of Eddie Murphy. Oh, right. So that's what's like, I know this guy. Oh, he looks familiar. Well, I thought this movie was initially going to be like a smoking aces type movie because they go to the, he goes to the, but. What does that mean? A bunch of assassins after the same guy. Oh, I see.

You're going to need 12 guys. No, it's basically, you know. Dude, if Elliot Gould was in this movie. A 1990 Elliot Gould. Gould. Better movie. Absolutely. No, but it's basically those bikers have a picture of Eddie Murphy

and the same guy, Burroughs, goes to this guy who gets promptly murdered, giving him a picture of Edward Murphy because I guess Eddie Murphy's that difficult to kill. He's in prison. It's really easy to kill people in prison. Just send word.

Yeah. I doubt Eddie Murphy's character is protected in prison. Another job for your uncle Jack. Wait, is he protected in prison? By that guy? By that guy? Yes, he is. Oh, the older gentleman?

Yes. Oh, I didn't know that was going on, protection-wise. I just thought they were friends. No, it was a big-time protection racket. No, I'm pretty naive about prison, huh? Oh, yes, you are. You'll learn. Nick Nulte's like, oh, I got to go and find,

I got to go ask my good friend Eddie Murphy, who's in jail for the last six years because of a payroll steal? Question mark. Now, this is the hallmark of a really lazy sequel. is just like, yeah, no, he's just been in jail forever because even though at the end of the first movie, it's like he's getting out of jail real soon.

Right. But apparently they picked him up for something else, and he's actually innocent for real. Yeah. And he's just been in prison for ever. He's been in prison for like an additional six years because they claim that he stole money from the prison payroll or something. And like, I feel this is, this is a bunch of,

of stuff that in that cut it's just cut out of this movie but like because all these cops in the in the jail like supposedly set him up and he's like yelling at all these people this movie doesn't make sense like very obviously doesn't make sense maybe the

Walsh brothers play the Borden oh yeah you're never getting out alive big boy they're not gonna get to FYE this time they're like the creature with two heads Now that would be a movie

If that monstrosity was a prison warden Well yeah And they're both J.T. Walsh in it. So he goes to visit him in jail And he's like, I need your help, God damn it. Well, anywhere he's playing basketball And Nick Nolte

Inbounds the ball to him And I was like, oh man, I kind of wish I was just watching Blue Chips right now. Absolutely. Anytime Nick Nolty gets that near a basketball, I'm like Blue Chips? Blue chips? Where's the blue chips? Oh man, that movie is just a Sunday and a half, isn't it?

Well, because it's like four hours long that Blue Chips is. So basically he's like, you know, you got to help me. I need to know what's going on. I'm chasing the Iceman. And Eddie Murphy's like, oh, I know who the Iceman is, but I'm not going to tell you because you're a piece of shit. Where's my money? Like, apparently, like, on the first movie, like, there's $500,000 of whatever that Eddie Murphy's supposed to get. Nick Nolte is, like, holding it for him.

He's like, yeah, I'll give it to you after you help me. And it's like, which is so stupid. Like, that's what's so stupid. They're friends at the end of the first movie or something. And Eddie Murphy's just like, why haven't I seen you since the last movie? Like, I thought you were my friend. And he's like, yeah, whatever. Yeah, I've been busy.

It's like, you know, if you were just that much nicer to him and also just were, like, just say, yeah, your money's out in the car. Like, you know, just also just give him the money. It's his money. Visit him once around Christmas every year. Sure. He's got no one. You know what? I'm writing this movie.

I'm writing a movie wherein Nick Nolte got kicked off the force. And Nick Nolte and Eddie Murphy run a detective agency. And now we've got 48 hours to solve them. Of course, because here's the thing. He doesn't need to start back in jail. It's your classic movie where nobody wants the movie to happen. Like, you know what I mean? It's also like we're just, we're going to do everything in our power just to do the first movie again.

but worse. Yes. Like, grow as a movie. Because Eddie Murphy's like, I don't want to be in this movie. And Nicknall is like, you better be in this fucking movie. And it's like, well, all right. Then let's just, we're stuck at nowhere.

That's like half the movie. Yes, exactly. Struggle. Yeah, it's like, Eddie Murphy is constantly being like, God damn it, we're making a movie. He's like, I don't want to have anything to do with you. I'm just going to go. Just give me this money.

Like, here's the movie I want to see, which is this character that Eddie Murphy is playing, has this whole deal set up where he's going to go to Florida and he's going to put money. and he's going to put money and invest in, like, this car wash chain. I'll watch a fucking Eddie Murphy car wash comedy. That's what I'll watch. Yeah, and Nick Nalty comes up with his Cadillac.

You're going to wash my fucking car. Extra wax. Got fucking mud all over it. Fucking Gator guts. I got it through Florida. I just fired it in my car, Eddie Murphy. You got that stink out. I got Taco Bell.

I got a double-decker Supreme. Fucking fart. Which is happening again? Yeah, you better fucking get in here and detail this shit. Good luck. There's the keys. And he's got fucking 48 hours to clean that car. There you go.

That's better than this, which is just chasing a fucking possibly fake crime lord. Good gravy, the ice man. So Eddie Murphy says no. And then he beats up Nick Nolte or something. He throws the basketball right in his fucking face. Yeah, that's kind of awesome. And then he just jumps on him and starts beating the shit out of him. Which I love.

But then, and then it's like cut to classic gags. Nobody's like crossing their fingers for from the first movie. Is Eddie Murphy then is like, oh, you know, he's sentenced to spend, like, he's going to get out the next day or whatever anyway. So he's sentenced to like finish the remainder of his time in solitary And he puts the fucking headphones on and he starts singing Roxanne again But it's also like the problem with Eddie Murphy in this movie And this is like in the middle of his like totally bankable leading man phase And he has to like kind of go back to high school and like kind of do the old gags

Like he had grown out of this character a lot by this point Yeah totally I mean this is all just the money on apparently on Wikipedia I don't know how... The Wikipedia Gazette. Yeah, I picked... I got it right here, mother. Apparently it was like... He got like 400,000...

Over, like around $400,000 for the first movie. Yeah. And Nick Nolte got like a million. Yeah. And in this movie, Eddie Murphy got $9 million to be in this thing. And you give me $9 million. I'm going to do fucking another 48 hours. I'll hunt for the...

Iceman for $9 million dollars, dude, come on. I think Nick Nolte got like $3 million going to fucking scrubbing my fucking fete. And talking it again. Oh, no. Oh, I'm kind of wet.

Take it for another spin. It's amazing, though, because this movie is them kind of, their career is at a crossing point. Yeah, that's true. By 90, I think like, wasn't it like 92? though, that Nick Nalty was voted sexiest man alive by People

magazine? I always find that hilarious. I think that was like 92, but like, you know, I guess like, I mean, Murphy was way higher at that point, like, especially like the early 90s. I mean, actually, I don't know, though. Nick Nalty's like gym teacher sexy. You know what I mean?

Like, he's not like a sexy dude. Like, it's pretty good shape. I got to tell you something. Very important thing from my real life. They just reminded me this talking about Like, gym teachers made me think a coach, which made me think last night. Me and the Mrs. were at a show. We were sitting next to this dude that looked exactly like dauber.

Oh, I thought you were to say Craig T. Nelson. No, I wish. I wish I sat next to a guy that looked like Craig T. Nelson. Unfortunately, we just sat next to a guy who looked like dauber. But it was still pretty cool. You know, at a Broadway show, I once saw Rayne Wilson in the bathroom. Oh, wow. Was he passing out mince?

no he was he was actually walking out when I was walking in oh I see yeah ships dicks that passed in the night saw an old guy jerking off on the train like Jerry Van Dyke that's almost as good as a dude who kind of looks like dauber no I made that up so whatever

so the next morning like Eddie Murphy gets out of jail and he's on like the prison bus back to society or whatever. And then Nick Nolte at the same time is like getting breakfast at a diner. It's kind of a roadhouse diner. It's definitely a roadhouse diner.

It's dusty. It's on the side of a highway. You're getting one of two things. A cheese omelet or scrambled eggs. And you'd buy a beer all day. And you're not allowed to say what kind of beer. Here's a question I had because they do do this couple of times in this movie. We were like, get me a bar and say, give me a brewski, give me a beer.

Yeah. At what point in America would that not work where the guys were? to be like, you have to tell me what you want. I kind of feel like... Never? Yeah, this is just fiction. This is just, let's not say a brand name. Although, listen, I know

options were limited, and maybe this bar only serves Budweiser. But there was also Coor's banquet beer. Exactly. And the Miller was around. You tell me if you want a Coor's banquet bear, or you tell me you want a Budweiser, or you fucking hit the bricks.

Well, there's places, I mean, even now, like if you, it's a terrible tourist trap, so you should never do it in this town. But if you go down to McSorley's Airlhouse in the village... Well, it's cheap, at least. Well, it's cheap, yeah. But, like, they just serve predominantly their own brew

and it's either the light or the dark, so that's all you... You can't... Yeah, you can't even... You can't even... You could never say give me a beer. It doesn't work that way. Yeah, I wish it... What? Would it just be better if that was a thing? As I'm sitting here drinking delicious two roads

craft beer... Yeah, come on. Yeah, that would never exist. Well, but if we never knew that to be a thing. If I'm just saying, like, humanity as a whole, if we just knew beer to be beer, like water. Like, give me a glass of water. Give me another ale. I'm Thor. Thor, you need more ale before we eat this hog beast.

So Nick Nolte is eating a cheese omelet and drinking whatever the fuck. He's drinking a beer. And you know what he's definitely doing? because he's this kind of guy to like tone down the acidity of the beer he's putting salt in it. Oh, that's a real. Dude, that's a real.

That's a blink and you miss it. No, I'm just, you don't see it in the movie. I'm saying he's the kind of guy that would do that. If I saw that happen. These old bastards that just put some, I've seen this happen in real life. An old man.

Were you at a VFW? An old Navy veteran. They made me do this at a bar one time. It was, I was in a friend's wedding. Uh-huh. just outside of the great city of Seattle and this like 80 year old Navy veteran

took us to a bar at like 10.30 in the morning before the wedding had a beer and he said to the bartender like you got a thing of you got a salt shaker back there and I was like what's going on here and this old bastard just put some salt in what what war what war was this guy in? Oh it was it was Korea

okay so anyway he's at this diner He's about to get his burnt white toast When all of a sudden this The gin comes up and tries to assassinate I think he knocks on the window And then like don't hit what the fuck And he gets like shot like six times It's awesome but it's like it's so stupid

Because it's like all right well he's got a vest on Because we're 20 minutes into this movie He goes flying and this is just you know It's Walter Hill action theatrics Speaking of which do we like the bus gets hit as well This is like the same time this happens yeah It's a perfect storm They do this, and then Eddie Murphy's on the bus, listening to James Brown, doing more of some fun singing stuff.

And that bus driver gets shot right in the fucking head. Oh, yeah. And that's what I'm talking about. We have one second. Eddie Murphy's pulling out all the old gags that he hasn't had to do in eight years. Yes. You know, and he's singing James Brown obnoxiously loud, and that's the joke. And then all of a sudden this dude's brains are all over the bus, and you're seeing it.

And then the bus does like six barrel roll. And Eddie Murphy's like, man, that was crazy. I'm like, man, your head is somewhere else. Yeah. You're been decapitated. You know, it's awesome. There's two additional prisoners on this bus. We don't really know what came of them after the accident.

Oh, they have to be chum. They're chum trails. And speaking of which, yes. Eddie Murphy throughout this whole movie is wearing what's supposed to be his old suit from the first movie, but it's not at all. Yeah. I mean, it's like gray, so they're like, yeah, it's close enough. With like these white slippers. And I'm thinking this guy's looking a lot like Pee Wee Herman.

Yeah, a little bit. With all these roadhouses and bikers, I thought he was going to be dancing on a bar. Dude, it would be great if Eddie Murphy's standing on the side of the road and he's got a huge thumb at one point. I kind of like the idea of Eddie Murphy being like the enemy, the villain in the next Peewee Herman movie. He's like an anti-Piwi. Oh, an anti-Piwi. Peweewe. Yeah, I like this idea. This is something I can sell.

Are you going to sell this? I don't know in any of the characters or no Eddie Murphy. Well, you got Paul Rubens on Speedoff from back when you were jerking in theaters with him. Allegedly. Those were the days. Well, that's where you were born, right? Are you the son of Paul Rubens? I mean, if anyone was jerking off during city under siege, that's when you get arrested.

that was Gutenberg that guy jerked off everywhere so Eddie Murphy there's a shootout the bikers get away which happens many times because that's all this movie is

is like attack by the bikers mildly interesting shootout and then they just scamper away until the next attack which you need again you need henchmen you need a bigger gang I don't need these two dudes why even the one's the gin

who's great biker gang not biker outlaws. Like, don't just give me renegade. Give me renegade and all of renegade's friends. Exactly. You know, that's the thing. It's like, it's weird to say that this needs a body count.

It doesn't because they kill so many bystanders. Twelve people die in this movie. If they had, like, a real biker gang. Just like faceless assassins. I mean, like, shoot a couple of these guys. Then it's a little more energetic. That's what I thought the finale was going to be. It was like, I'm going to get the whole gang.

We've got, like, 40 people, and the Nolte's got two shotguns. That's the end of this movie, right? Sure. I got two shotguns. You guys walk into that barn, and I'm going to burn it down. So we cut to a hospital

because Eddie Murphy doesn't have a scratch on him, but he's got to get like a cat scan anyway. No, this is when they realize he's never been hurt at all, and he's been unbreakable this whole time. Oh, man. And then he can, like, touch people and, like, see how they're going to die or something. They call me Mr. Glass! I would love

Deltia to the Chalmalon movie Oh, man What is it? I turned out It's present date When a twist Why am I dressed like this? I'm going to clean this pool

Hey, hey Get out of the pool, I've got to clean it Oh no, the fucking trees You're making me want to kill myself It's not a fucking alien It's not a fucking alien Wish I was fucking dead the whole time. you will be

but yeah so he's at this hospital and this is where it's kind of revealed that like I don't know is it like did I already say this that the ice man is has a hit out on Eddie Murphy yeah we know that yeah that's sort of yeah that's what's going on but it's also weird because like what you don't know until unless I'm mistaken like three quarters away through the movie

is that Eddie Murphy knows who the Iceman is? That is three quarters of the movie. It's a very last minute thing. It's like, oh, I know what the Ice Man looks like. And then everyone's like, oh, well, why don't you go look at the Iceman? Then there's this whole thing of this, like, I got to take him around to see if we could see the Iceman. Take him to the police sketch artist. Do something. Exactly. This is so, like, why are you trying to confront? Why? Why? Why? He's going to hamburger it up a little bit.

Why did Eddie Murphy? not finger the iceman that's a perfect Neil hamburger joke I love he wasn't wearing gloves thank you very much but here's something

because I don't want to lose this part because it's really important to me yeah because it's a drop joke wherein like I hope you're going where I think you're going Eddie Murphy is like

Nick Milton's like come on you got to go hot the ice man with music I'm not going to go with you blah blah blah and Nick Nolte goes to the cops who are holding Nick Eddie Murphy He's like, oh that guy in there

Yeah, he's a child molester Yeah, a big time child molester He's got he's got the whole ring on There's a big kingpin that he's got a finger Which like he basically says What he needs Eddie Murphy to do But he just replaces he's a criminal With he's a child molester

Like just say I need this guy because he knows what the ice man looks like. Murder or something. Why could he cocked this story about pedophiles? Because I guess maybe the idea is like, oh, this, maybe this guy works for the ice man. I don't know who to trust. I better just start saying, oh, like, he doesn't want.

Well, that's another thing, though, that I, Steve, you said that you got this straight from the motorbike scene, but I didn't get this. the idea that there is a corrupt cop in this movie. No, you realize that after the fact. That's what I thought. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, because that's probably what... See, again, this movie is so poorly constructed. I don't know who to trust.

He's probably thinking that, but we don't know that because we don't know that there's a possibility of a corrupt cop in this story. Right, the longer cut is basically the Brian James cut. Well, that's... Rest in peace, Brian James, but... You had some quotes from him about this movie. He was unhappy with things.

Because he's basically cut out. At the end of the movie, spoiler alert, like Nick Nolte has four. Count him four white guy cops that he trusts. And like all with a bigger mustache than the last. Exactly. And Brian James is one of them. Who was also in the first movie?

And I think as a good guy. So it's weird. It's weird that it would be. Brian James is the Iceman. Yeah. But in that first movie, there's no indication. And all that he's a crooked cop.

I don't remember, but I don't think so. When Walter Hill wrote the character Bible on Brian James, he knew he had it all in his head. He wrote the little, you can't write a character without knowing who his father is. Right. So, you know, and write the story of that. Oh, yeah. There's going to be a prequel. Deep motivations.

Hayden Christensen's going to play him in a prequel. Oh, dude, what would that be called? It's 48 hours, another 48 hours. 24 minutes. Let's go into the past. Yeah. That's before it gets fucking cut. Oh, hold on a second.

Is this in the 88 minutes verse? Oh, wow. Right? Isn't that a Pacino? No, that's Robert De Niro. Is it not? No, that's got it. No, 88 minutes is Pacino.

I think Robert De Niro is in 15 minutes, which is him and Edward Burns. That's the movie I'm thinking of where Robert De Niro gets like stabbed in the stomach a million times on like a camera or something. So who's in 16 blocks? That's Bruce Willis and Robert Morris. David Morris. But, oh, 88 minutes is Pacino

and someone's gonna like assassinate him or something? It's almost, to be quite honest, not to bring another obscure movie, it's kind of the same plot to Nick of Time. Oh, yeah, you're totally right. With Christopher Walken,

which is an okay movie. Yeah, okay. And Jonathan Deppson in that too. Did you see it? Is Sam Jackson in that movie? I've never seen Nick of Time. I don't think so. What the hell am I thinking of?

Nick of Time, I think, is pretty low, And early 90s, mid-90s? Yeah, early, I think early. And it was, it's like a decent, low-budget thriller. I'll do you another number one better. There's a new Polish film that came out this year. IFC put it out called 11 Minutes. Awesome movie.

I saw it in Toronto last year. All the minutes are happening. No, I know. How does that rank against 13 hours? Is that a movie or is that, I'm thinking of 13 ghosts? 13 ghosts. Or you could be thinking of six days, seven nights. 40 days, 40 nights with Josh Hartnett.

I saw that in theaters. Right, yeah. That sucked a dog's ass too. That's the jerk-off movie. Yeah, where he's only going to stop having sex. It's my Josh Hartnett in front. So basically he's like, oh, he's a child molester. Isn't this a fun joke?

And then we're all laughing. So they go to another roadhouse because apparently the bikers, am I just? No, no, there's roadhouses. You're missing one thing, though, that's going to be. Am I missing another roadhouse? Why? Did I skip two roadhouses ahead?

No, well, you're at the right roadhouse, but there's a couple of things that happen in between that we just, we should get out of the way. One is that Nick Nalty goes, takes Eddie Murphy back to his house, and Eddie Murphy's got to get his precious car, and the car blows up. Oh, right. So that happens. Also in this scene. The guy, Burroughs, is like, you know what to do to kill Eddie Murphy, and he gives this guy a bag of dynamite. They're like, are you going to ice bugs bunny? Like, what are you talking about?

I think also in that bag was a black circle that you could throw on a rock and make a tunnel to drive through. Well, this does take place out west near all these roadhouses. It's San Francisco, is it not? Yeah. Yeah. But there's, you know, they're partial desert in this movie. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So maybe that was the bag Burroughs was given to Wildee Coyote.

Oh. Who was also on the Iceman payroll. Fuck, dude. You think Burroughs mixed up the. bags? He bungled the bags? I think he did, yeah. Burrows. Yeah, that's why an anvil falls on him later on. The other thing

is this is the scene where they very quickly and swiftly explain away a nettoole not being in this movie. Because he's like, we tried to work things out. She tried to make me live a clean life. Fucking ditched her. Fuck that. Yeah, whatever it is. And I'm like,

I think she's a cat person now. Similar times. I ditched her. I'm driving through all these diners, roadhouses, and dives. Trying to find America's Eats. I dumped the gorgeous annetto tools so I could comb America's shithole restaurants. It's a living. This is a sloppy bugger. Also somewhere in here, and then we'll get to that, my favorite roadhouse of the movie,

Nick Nulte calls Kevin Teague a chicken shit pussy in the police precinct. Primo insult. Yeah, well, especially from Nick Nolte. If Nick Nulte compliments you, you feel like shit. So, like, you call you your chicken shit pussy. You're really like, ooh, yikes. Really proud of your graduation, Sally. Oh.

So they go to my favorite roadhouse. You know why this is my favorite roadhouse? There is a band playing that is led by a saxophone. Oh, yeah. There's quite a bit of sex on this soundtrack in general. The score to this movie. Oh, the score. It's like the bikers are running away.

And it's just like, but here's what sucks about. I'll tell you right now, it does not mix, in my opinion, saxophones and steel drums. And that's what this is. And I think the first movie has this too, where it's like a saxophone blares and then it's like, steel drums come in and you're like, well, this doesn't fit in the slightest.

Especially when what you're watching is Nick Nolty, off it across the street. Do you know what the name of this roadhouse is? No. Barnstormers. Oh, fuck, yeah. Yeah, it is. That's on Triple D, right?

Oh, yeah, they got a great burger Barnstormers. Come on in. Spicy chicken wings. Go rock and roll. That's terrific, brother. Fish pound. Ooh, chili cauliflower with mayonnaise. I'm farting now.

Look out below it. Barnstormers specializes in burritos stuff with horse shit. Oh, right. spicy that show should be called look at below the toilet tales of guy e ferrari so we're at barnstormers the shitty bands play in uh there's some guy who gets his pocket picked by a sexy lady yeah i believe this is the character actor who's uh if i remember right um kind of like mark mckinney but just yeah his penis or testicles exploded on an episode of House

some years later. That's good for him. I think it turned out to be a dream sequence. Oh, okay. Yeah, I think this is that same guy. So he gets, he's like getting hit on by a lady who Eddie Murphy also hits on first. Yeah. And she goes and like picks this dude's wallet and whatnot.

Well, he hits on her and he's like, hey, buy me a drink. And she's like, no. No. Well, he does the classic pickup line that'll get you any lady. Remember this one folks Which is Hey I just got out of jail Which he keeps telling everybody

In this movie Well you know Some lady's like a bad boy Oh he's like a real bad egg Yeah like oh What's this troublemaker on about That's a thing He's dressed like Peewee Herman

And he just got out of jail There's a rumor that he's a child There's a rumor going around out of the hospital that he's a child molester. But the reason there at Barnstormers is because the bikers went to the barnstormers the night before. Can I just pause you real quick?

No one needs a reason to be at Barnstormers. Just FYI. You can just be. They pulled a gun on a waitress because she wasn't giving them action or something. Oh, right. They thought she was a prostitute and she was like, well, either way, you know,

even if I was a prostitute, this is not acceptable. But that old man cuts his arm off with a lightsaber. It's a bit more like, I thought the Jedi were dead. Right? Ponda Baba was his name? Possibly, but I think you're getting movies mixed up. There's approximately zero lightsabers in this movie.

My mistake. I told you, dude, you got to stop watching two TVs at the same time. Double the movie. Oh, man, you know what? If the Supreme Leader Snoke turned. out to be Nick Nolte in that second movie. I would love it.

The projection goes down and he's like, yeah, it was me the whole fucking time. But he's just Detective Jack whatever. Jack Cates. Yeah, that's right. I'm fucking smoking in here. Yeah, so what?

I was for sensitive. I turned your side and the dark side. What's it to you? I tell you everything on 48 hours. God. Whatever. It would be great.

I would be fine with it. 48 hours, fucking snuff out the Star Killer Bays. Got 48 hours to turn Kylo run into a Sith Lord. Not an easy feat. So, whatever. Nick Nolte runs across this dude who he put away at one point for one reason or another. They start beating the shit out of Nick Nolte, man. It is like, it's a real hog beast fight.

There's like four dudes. punching him in the stomach. Is this where he like, before this bar brawl starts, he's like, I'm not going to get into a bar fight with you gentlemen. It's a cliche. It's a movie cliche. Yeah. And I'm going to talk about how this is a movie cliche for a few minutes

until we actually start fighting and the cliche. I mean, the cliche ensues. Well, and he starts it too, right? It's like he's going to talk shit for a few seconds. And then Nulte throws the first punch. Right. The best part about this scene, it is I think kind of funny

is Eddie Murphy's like back by the bar watching it just doing like a great Eddie Murphy laugh like Nick Nulte is being beaten senseless and he's like and you're just like yeah that's entertaining actually The thing is I feel like in the 90s

Think about the principal and the fucking beat down Jim Balushi gets in that movie You don't get as many good beat downs these days It's the fast cutting it's all that No but people just got punched in the stomach repeatedly in film In this fight

I blame PC culture In this fight Nick Nulte kicks this dude square in the balls Oh my God It's such a like You want to know what Star Killer Babe Yeah

They come out of his mouth Walter Hill has this camera Backed far away So you get the whole thing Nick Nulte winds up this foot backwards And it's spinning around like a cartoon Dude it's like a baseball pitcher

And how when you like You pitch of baseball and your body moves all unnaturally. That's what Nick Nulte's leg is doing, kicking this dude of the dick. And when it makes contact, you get that cash register noise? It might as well. And then let's noops. Zimbachauk, because it goes, thirsty.

Flawless victory. But I mean, the fucking beat down everybody gets it. It's not just Nick, because Nick Nelty is holding his own through part of this fight. They eventually gang up on him. But the ball kick, there's like some head butts. I think. Like, Eddie Murphy rips the bar down

on that one dude, that looks like it hurts. Just brutality. And this is the kind of playful stuff you can have in like a buddy cop action comedy. In a sequel, sure.

Because no one's getting their fucking teeth shot out the back of their head. You know? It's just like a good old fashion fight. And then Eddie Murphy breaks it up by firing a gun

in this bar. Well, he shoots this guy in the leg or something like that. Well, he eventually does, because the guy, like, he fires it and he's like, All right, if you guys don't stop, you know, beating up my friend, like, I'm going to shoot one of you. And the guy's like, oh, yeah, I dare you to.

And he shoots him right in the leg. And it's like, well, let's just casually get out of here. And the funny thing is, like, at every turn, because this happens a couple times in the movie, Nick Nolte goes into a place, destroys it. And then, like, the police have to clean up his mess. And this IAB guy's like, didn't I fire that guy two years ago? He's just like, you know what, Nick Nalty? I'm eventually going to get you for something. And he always leaves before they do any questioning or paperwork.

He's like, yeah, I'm out of here. Get out of the cleanup crew's here. Let's go. The dumbest scene in this movie is when, because it's Walter Hill and he wants to make it exciting. It's like, oh, I need some files on the Iceman or something. Not the Iceman on, maybe one of the bikers. And he's like, hey, Brian James, get my car. I'm going to read this paper while you drive my car or whatever.

It's like Windle Pierce or something. Like one of the, like the contact man for Burroughs and the bikers is sort of another biker. And apparently it's like this group called like the Western Brotherhood, which is just, we couldn't get the rights to the Aryan Brotherhood. Do you think Charles Manson was holding on those rights for a while? Does that licensing not come cheap, the Aryan Brotherhood? Is that right? It's a pretty penny. Well, maybe they were just like, you know, we don't want to make them overt racists.

Yeah, me. You know, we just want to have like a gang. I'm sorry, but if you're, if you have brotherhood in your name, I don't know. Yeah, you're all white guys. Well, that's what I always think about with the mutant brotherhood. That's an unfortunate name. You know what probably costs money? Hell's Angels.

Oh, yeah, you're going to. You can't say that. Yeah, you pay out the ass to make him the hell's angels. And right here, they go back to prison because, like, there's no lead on this borough's guy. They have a police sketch of this guy. Yeah. They can't do one of the Iceman. No, no, no.

No, that's impossible. We're not going to ask Eddie Murphy to just sketch that down. Because the movie hasn't told us that Eddie Murphy knows exactly what he looks like. And what's ridiculous about this is like, okay, so the sketch of Burroughs goes nowhere. They go to prison to meet the guy who was giving Eddie Murphy protection. Yeah. And he's just like, oh, yeah, that's Burroughs, this, that, that. And then later on, like, Nick Doltz is like, yeah, rap sheets a mile long.

So he was in the database, but no one could put the pictures together. The way they explain this in this poorly cut movie is that Nick Nulte asked Brian James to run the thing. And because Brian James is the Iceman, he's like, oh, nothing came back. And then later in the movie, Nick Nulte has another cop say, oh, Brian James should definitely know who this guy is because he put him away last year. That's how Nick Nalty knows that he's the Ice Man. Here's something. In that scene where they go to this guy who looks a lot like Bill Russell for some reason. Like modern day Bill Russell

But they're going They're talking to him And like, you know He gives Nick Milty And the information He needs like hey Eddie Murphy Now you be on the phone You know

They're doing the two-a-glass Convict thing with the phones Yes And you know He's like you know You owe me a favor Blah blah blah And they keep alluding to this

And then he punches through The he punches through the glass And it cuts to black Like somebody had a nightmare Like it's like a Freddie Kruger cut That was close I was waiting for Heather Langencamp to sit up in bed

to be completely honest with you. Every other Langenkamp Eddie Murphy in bed? She's like, holy shit, mom, I just dreamt they made a second 48 hours. Finance by me, Freddie Kruger. You better cut that runtime down.

It's me at the editing bay with my fingers. I'm Hollywood's worst nightmare. The reckless producer slash editor. Oh, you know, there's been nightmares in Hollywood

before. I think this is more of a new nightmare. We're getting madden. This is a toilet flush. Is this around the time where they go to this Chinese Bordello whatever at this scene? Yes. And this is we're

mimicking or ripping off mirroring whatever. The scene from the first movie where they, it's another hotel shootout. It's less gruesome in this movie. That fucking first movie, heads are getting blown off. There's buckets of blood on the wall

in that hotel scene. This movie, it's the same thing, but less people are getting murdered. Less innocent people are getting murdered. It's boring by this point. I've already seen like seven shootouts at seven Western roadhouses. Okay, so this is an Eastern roadhouse.

Great. Because they're finding one of the bikers girlfriends and one of the bikers there and then like the other one's going to go because they're both like sharing this girl, which is kind of like alluded to. The gin is there. firing wildly into the night.

There's your classic, the guy opens the door from the other room, says something in Chinese, which is hilarious and they blow him away. Yeah. For no reason at all. They just get away. Yeah, they just go.

Oh, they drive, the bikers drive their motorcycles through a porno theater? Yes, they drive to Paul Rubens. Yes. Peewee's big adventure. Oh, no. He's ruined up the movie. I'm not done yet. So there are a woman's breasts

Are being shoved this way in that Center screen And there's a tear through her chest Yes And two motorcycles fly out between her breasts As she's ramming them together So that's an imagery I'll never escape

I think it was a chest burst Because we're referencing Alien With Walter Hill and all No No all right I think this is a Oh, he was a producer on all these goddamn, all the aliens. Oh, man, that's how he's fucking.

Yeah, he's going to be entombed somewhere in gold. Oh, yeah, dude. Walter Hill has had fingers in all sorts of movie pies. I forgot that he produced alien. Yeah, so, yeah, we burst through that porno theater. That's just a weird thing because it's like, you know, how the hell is this movie theater structured in where they're getting the velocity to do that? And I guess the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the cat house.

excuse me sure is right on the other side of the screen there's no like wall i'll tell you what that's a pretty smart operation movie theater slash bordello you get all revved up and there you go you got a couple extra bucks in your pocket oh shit guys this is our retirement yeah speaking speaking of action movie that was a motorcycle not a cat sure speaking of action movie cliches the bikers jump off the jump out of the bordello and land in a big dumpster which is you have to have that. You have that in any action movie between 1981 and 1996.

I feel like whatever year fled came out, that was it. That was the last time you were able to do that. Is fled an episode? Probably. So this is kind of around the time because, you know, this is a short movie that Eddie Murphy's like,

oh, by the way, Nick Nolte, did I mention this to you? But I know exactly what the Iceman looks like. Oh, God damn. You're going to have told me that at minute 25. So they're saying, oh, you know what? And they've figured out that the Iceman's probably a cop

Because the other guy got killed And like, oh, the other guy by the way Whose name is Malcolm Price The in-between guy who's like a biker But also in with the cops You know what's the saddest thing in the world Was I was watching this movie And I was convinced he'd played a Klingon in deep space night

I was convinced you played a Klingon in Deep Space 9 What was giving you that tickle? I was just like, oh, that kind of looks like that weird Klingon General in deep space 9. Wait, because he's got like a beard, long hair, and he's wearing, like, this leather dust here. Yeah. And then a fat guy that's, like, kind of close to retirement, and Warf's, like,

not having it because he's accusing him. Or is that a TNG episode? It's all the same. I don't, I have no idea. There's one where there's, like, there's like a cling on so-and-so. Two days away from retirement. Kind of, yeah. And he's, like, kind of being a douchebag about something, and Worf's just like, you know, you're being

very lazy and dishonorable. Hashtag we want Wharf. Well, anything the Klingons do ends with you getting fucking gutted. It's like, oh, it's very honorable. You can't retire. You have to slit your throat. Now I'm going to pull your intestines out with my bare hands, hashtag we want Wharf. And it's always off-screen because, like, Warf is just like a normal guy, but it's like, oh, if I was a real Klingon, I would have just ripped your head off, Commander Data, hashtag, we want Warf.

Hopefully we can sell him some T-shirts. So at this point Are we done with Star Trek? I'll see I'll be dead before I'm done with Star Trek We're about Yeah God damn it

Why you tell me at the 48th hour Because my hearing started An hour and a half ago And I really should have been there But god damn if you can figure The Iceman And he's behind this whole thing We gotta get there now

Because then he's trying to put me away And that's the point where you realize, like, wait, there's a trial that's happening. And that's like we're at the end. We are indeed, like you said, Eric, at the 48th hour, this trial that will determine whether or not Nicknulty's going to be prosecuted for the murder of that guy at the motorbike range. Which happened whenever ago. But nobody is saying shit. And it's like, listen, I get it, Paramount Pictures. You don't want to release a two hour and 15.

minute action comedy. And God bless you. But how about you release a movie that makes a little goddamn sense? Just a little drip, drop a sense. Something coherent. So, like, he runs in there, and he's just like, I got there! And he's just like, he is fucking incoherent.

It's insane. He's convinced that the guy... It's a courtroom. He's convinced that the guy from the IAB has to be the ice man. He's like, he's been trying to put me away for years. He's the Iceman. And he goes in, and this judge is like, well, there is enough sufficient

evidence for Nick Dulton to be tried for manslaughter and he's he just comes in like that's a fucking ice man he's how many I see iceman oh it's farting time ice man and Eddie Murphy's just like oh that's not him

he's like it's the most casual Eddie Murphy's ever been and he's like shake you're no you're not looking hard enough that's a fucking ice man the judge is like and I declare you insane you know

hits the gavel and now criminal proceedings can occur against Nick Nolte. But how is it that Nick Nolte is not arrested right there on the spot? Or put into a mental institution and then the rest of this

movie is the dream team? It's not the third act of a Ghostbusters movie so nobody's getting put into the booby edge. Maybe John Hamm like put it put it put an ice pick through his eye and like, oh he was sucker punched the whole time. Then Oscar Isaac molested

him. Right. That's why we were in that's why we were in a Bordello. Oh. Also, by the way, I mean, and I know that people don't like X-Men Apocalypse quite as much as I do, but anyone who's like, that's Oscar Isaac's worst movie. Needs to watch the film Sucker Punch.

Oh, yeah, 100%. Or needs to watch the movie, Robin Hood. Oh, is he in that Ridley Scott movie? Yeah, he plays John who takes over for his brother. Get out of town. I'm in town. It's real. It happened.

Don't tell me it didn't happen. I saw it happen. I saw it happen. I mean, he's the best part of that terrible movie. I just imagined your 1993 stand-up comedy special called Eric Siska I'm in town, and it's you in front of a really over-decorated like Golden Gate Bridge for some reason. And you're wearing a neon blue suit. Yeah, I like where this is going. I do, too.

Can someone set this up? Here's what I think we would be really great at. Uh-huh. We work at the department at Netflix that gives them. the bullshit titles to stand-up comedy special. Oh, you don't think the comedians do that? It kind of can't be true because they're always fucking terrible. It's always just like back in town or like looking for sass or deal with this.

Or deal me in or whatever it is. Yeah, that could be yours and you're holding a deck of cards. Yeah, exactly. I love, I mean, we don't do this. And they're old, they're all jokers. Oh, my God. He's going to deal sit, but it's going to be a lot of laughs. That's what I do miss about stand-up comedy specials is the over-decorated background.

Oh, absolutely. It was always like you had to do it at Stonehenge or in a meth lab. You're always in like in a fake junkyard sometimes. There are like nine George Carlin specials where he's just at the docks. Yeah, it's always just like big. Bad attitude. Get a load of that. Chalk full of fun.

There's a chain link fence always. Oh, yeah. I'm just saying. Like, it's always so fucking stupid. Every single time. And the comedy's good. The comedy could be amazing. They have to dress it up somehow, Andrew.

Why didn't anyone just do like a graveyard? Like a really, I'm sure someone did a graveyard. Wasn't like, didn't like Drew Carey have like, it's a shit. duty house, but it looks like a Dilbert cartoon. And then I'm... Christ almighty.

I think Tim Allen had like, it's a bunch of tools. And I think that's where they started, you know, the tool time. Did Gallagher do one in front of a big couch? Or did I make that up?

Somebody had a big couch and it might have been Gallagher. Because I think he might have been fitting on it. Get a load of this big fucking couch, you stupid idiots that paid for this. Curse flat. I just creamed my

pants. Gallagher, by the way, did a special called We Need a Hero. Oh, did he? Did it turn out that Gallagher was the hero we needed or the hero we deserved? Or did he live long enough to see himself become the villain? Lived long enough to see him become a homophobic piece of shit. He is a fucking living nightmare. So the end of this courtroom scene, it's so great

because it's just like, you know, really, all you had to fucking do was say that that was the Iceman. The movie would be all over with. No, that's not the Iceman. I'm fucking fine. You know what? We're going to go to Taco Bell. We're going to load up on a big fucking box of tacos. Then we're going to go back out there and find the fucking ice man.

What he does is he gives Eddie Murphy his money. How do you make this case a lupa? Let's go through it for the audience. Fist pump. He gives Eddie Murphy's... Fis bump. I'm sorry. I need a pump.

If you want a pump, I can take you to a boy down the line. He gives Eddie Murphy his money. He's like, I'm sorry for being a piece of shit for five years. He said, oh, okay. And then he goes to Tisha Campbell. who is like the daughter of the dude that was given him protection but no and this is what's obnoxious the money is important anymore if he gets 500 grand he goes tisha campbell to give her 75 grand correct and the whole thing is like you know she's like i don't want dirty money he's like it's not dirty money

i got this money you know through proper channels and you know your dad offered me protection so i you know i'm going to give him some money that he wanted to give to you my problem with this is like Tisha Kamba is like credited at the beginning of the movie and I'm like oh cool Gina's in this movie that's pretty sweet absolutely and snip snip snip now she's in one scene dude it's like fucking minute 79 of this 95 minute movie she finally comes in but it's also she's involved in the climax of the movie and she just disappears you know what I mean like it's amazing they both so basically they both like fabric of space and time just ripped and the earth just swallowed her isn't it funny how

one person can be walking around one day and the next minute the earth just like opens and swallows and what is that about? Man, philosophical Nick Malti. Well, he's in front of a big like overstaged black hole for his stand-up comedy. By the way, I was just doing,

I was just reading signs for this role I'm auditioning for called Detective Kimball in American Psycho. I'm going up against Willem Default Heavyweight bout Think I'm going to get it I hope no it's on night watch

Where I'm dripping cub everywhere That'll ruin it That'll ruin my chances Spilling it, spilling it, spilling it Fuck, I got to see that movie Like enough's enough Sort my life out You've put it off for 33 years

I have that's as long as I've been alive It's Nick Nolte and an ill-defined vial of cum, all right? Like, it's not entirely set up, but... Wait, are they partners? Wait, he steals Ewan McGregor's cum, right? He does, yeah. I got his cum. He, like, plants it on a dead prostitute?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I call it the come hither. I mean, I've got everybody's come just in case I need to frame somebody. You need... Oh, man, that's why Chris Cabin's not on the show anymore. He's been calmed out So whatever They are kidnapped in a grocery store

Yes This is ridiculous This is one of those like How did you not see this person standing there? Because all of a sudden the gin And his partner are in this grocery store With guns like Let's go

And I was like Did you not see these guys enter the building? It's ridiculous And the gin has this ridiculous Black tattoo on his face of a teardrop Oh well he's killed It's not your skin. standard prison

It's like if you killed a giant. It's like... It's a larger than average tier drop. I thought it was a beauty mark at the beginning of the movie. Oh shit. Did he kill 1-1? He did. Yeah.

He would be on the wall and killed 1-1. But yeah, because it's like, I guess someone was like, that's not subtle enough. Like I, oh, because I guarantee they had to have done the regular tear drop at first, right? That's the real one. That's how life is. Yeah. now it's got to be bigger it's like that's not registering on our cameras

Nick Nolte you're just acting in this you're not trying it's got to be bigger I'm taking over this production bigger teardroped steak's got to be higher those victims families cried so they kidnap Eddie Murphy and Tisha Campbell and then it's like let's go to

what I would just like to consider for you know continuity's sake at this point just like a swanky or roadhouse. It is. It's a roadhouse with dance music and cocaine. Yes. And it's a weird There's like glass cages where these ladies are dancing.

Sure. And it's just one of those like sexy bars kind of a thing. Because at this point the bikers Malcolm James Malcolm Price has been killed, whatever this guy's name is. So the bikers are against the Iceman as well. They want the Iceman as much as they want Reggie Hammond

as as much as they want the money and all this stuff. They're like, oh yeah, these bikers want it all. Come to this place, we're going to, we'll settle it up. You'll get both, you'll get both Eddie Murphy and this other lady we picked up. You know what I mean? Like, two for one. And this is a weird thing because it's just like, they're not like serial killers. No.

They're just bikers that don't have a problem killing people. So it's like, that's not any sort of added. Like, I'll throw in this girl that you can murder. Like, what are you talking about? So this guy, one of the many white guys who's not Brian James is this guy called Cruz who picks up the phone he's like, oh, it was Cruz the whole time. This dude is the bad guy in red heat

by the way. Oh, no. Yes, you're right. It is. I knew him from somewhere. I knew I knew him from somewhere. So he comes he comes up and like, you're like, oh, it was Cruz the whole time. I don't even know what that character is. And he's got like a bag of money and they're about to kill him. And then Nick Nulte is like, it was a cruise. It was Brian

fucking James. And Brian James comes out like clapping like, you figured it out Nick Nolte. Yeah, it was the iceman. And then they just instantly start shooting at him. But what is Cruz doing, though? Is it just the bag? He's the bag man for the ice. He's just a crooked cop.

So it's two crooked cops. God, this movie's fucking poorly constructed. It's shit. Then Eddie Murphy punches the gin out a window and the gin falls on a water truck, which is pretty cool. Oh, right. It was doing it for me. All the Poland Springs. Well, it's a good, like, stuntman taking a tumble kind of, you know.

You got to power those fog machines. And some, I got a lot of, need a lot of water. Do you think that's what that water truck was there for? Yes. So then Nick Nulte murders. Yeah, now a werewolf. He murders both a crew. He murders a werewolf.

He murders Cruz. And he sort of like unceremoniously just murders Brian James the Iceman. He's got Eddie Merr-Bry. Brian James has Eddie Murphy. Oh, right. Yeah. He's holding on them. He's like, I'm going to shoot him.

I'm going to shoot him. And I guess at the end of the first movie, Eddie Murphy Bluffs is like, come on, shoot me, Jack, shoot me, Jack. And Nick Nolte, this time does shoot him. Yes, and he shoots through him to get to Brian James. And Brian James gets murdered.

It's a, again, unceremonious. Yeah, it's just like, it's a big fat, whatever. We're really wrapping up. It feels like, we got to wrap this up. I got a tea time. I mean, there's people got to go home, right? I mean, they got things to do. Come on.

Come on, ice man, just die already. Come on, we got to go home. The whole movie, You know, Eddie Murphy and Nick Nolte have been at each other's throats for the most part. They really don't even become friends. But at the end when he shoots him, Nick Nolty, and I mean, he gets real close.

He's like, hey, hi, you're going to be all right. It's like stroking his head, kind of. Stay with me, buddy, stay with it. You're my best friend. You're my best fucking friend in the whole wide world. And he's like, oh, by the way, I stole $500,000 for the Iceman. Well, split it, buddy. And I'm like, what are you talking?

What movie did I just watch? I took all that dirty drug money. It's like, dude, do we need to get Kevin Teague back on the phone? No, no, no, no, don't tell him. Don't tell him about this. He's a crooked cop. Yeah, I'm a crooked cop. God damn it.

Who is it? Because he is. I mean, like, really, like, A, he's been holding on Eddie Murphy's drug money or whatever the fuck for years a day. Yeah, I don't remember why he gets that money. It wasn't lotto money, I'll tell you that much. And now he's stealing from the ice man, like he owns the job. I just took a little skin off the top.

Don't worry about it. This movie. Finders fee. It would have been. better if they were both just fucking private detectives. Yes. Yes. You know, and that, you know why? Because a private detective can fucking take whatever he

wants. You know what? You got a whole police officer's doing an actual higher standard. And it makes sense to be like, yeah, you're going to, you're an ex-con. Yeah, but you know, you need a professional sleuth. It's got to know what the other side thinks. And then like, there's some stupid thing where Eddie Murphy steals

his lighter and like Nick Nolte goes to light a cigarette and he's like, oh, where's my lighter? God damn it, where's that Zippo? That's the end of the first movie. Is it? Okay, I figured as much. I couldn't remember. And then it's like Eddie Murphy just like laughing in this ambulance.

Lighting a lighter in this ambulance where I'm sure there's like oxygen tanks and shit. And then it just explodes. Oh, fan. Classic ending to another 48 hours. The Eddie Murphy fucking accidental suicide cut. Right. He just blows up that ambulance by accident. Or Wiley Coyote got him.

Finally. Finally got something. And then it's just like this movie has the audacity to have. a song where we're just singing about the boys are back in town. That was on the poster was the boys are back in town. I think that was in the first movie as well. Was it the same song? I think so. It might

been a different cover. There's two cuts of the boys are back in town back to back. Back to back. And you know what? Here's the thing. You've got the fucking fart rock John Candy version. Then you've got the quote hip hop-ish version. Boy do I get it soundtrack.

Come on. Everybody could enjoy this. It's so fucking stupid and it's just Nick Nelty like I want to have a fucking cigarette that son of a bitch and then he's just like you know what you need to do it needs to end on a beach and then you sure my grandma

sitting by the fire no matter what my grandma says to your grandma we're going to set the world on fire you open a big briefcase is a bunch of money and they're totally yeah exactly we're clinking glasses Tim Robbins is polishing a boat

whatever the fuck he's doing it Shawshank Just like something Not just like I'm just gonna stand in this street Till we fade to black Hey what happened to that girl from Martin Ah she's gone

Oh my god There goes to credits Oh yeah you damn right them on top I guess there's no women in this movie at all weird What is the thing you noticed in the credits By the way There's a guy credited As Eddie Murphy

Productions office manager Because this movie, at the start of it, it's like in association with Eddie Murphy Productions. Eddie Murphy Productions office manager, i.e. his drug dealer. Like, there's just, there's got to be. Yep. And sandwich getter, sure. Oh, yeah. Yeah, wink, wink.

The guy who brings you weed can, of course, bring you a sandwich at the same time. Absolutely. Let's just say it's weed. Good idea. Well, I'm sure, you know, weed was there. Oh, God, we got an actual ice man on the payroll. Also, you're saying Iceman. That's the name of that, like, famous hitman.

Yeah. Was the Iceman. As portrayed by Michael Shannon in that not great movie. Not good. Two detectives trying to take down the actual Iceman. Better, yeah. There you go. Better movie.

Better movie. Big 4-7's in there, too. Oh, yeah. Oh, who does he hilariously murder in that movie? Oh, I forget. Is it James Franco? No, I think it's, what's his favorite? David Schwimmer is in that movie.

Oh, no, yeah. No, James Franco is in that movie. It's a random, like, James Franco is in that movie for, like, three minutes and Michael Shannon murders him it's fucking great. So that's another 48 hours when anybody recommend it? Not really, no. I mean there's just

I mean like you see other movies that are exactly this movie a bit better. And here's why I feel this movie is disqualified as being a hangover movie because it's too short. Yeah. Because the ideal hangover movie is something you're watching on cable while you feel like you want to die.

Sure. This movie only being 95 minutes. You're stretching that out tops two hours and 15 minutes that's useless to me I need the rock I need a con air you know I need an Armageddon really long things that TNT will just stretch out for an entire afternoon

oh man you get one of those Lord of the Rings movies you're in good shape on TNT oh you'll be fucking feeling fit as a fiddle by the time they get to Mordor don't worry about it that's another 48 hours directed by Walter Hill for more we hate movies check out WHM Podcast

dot com or find us over at side show net network.TV like us on Facebook and follow us on Twitter. We are at WHM podcast and of course right into the ye old mailbag. We all hate movies at gmail.com. Rate and review our fine show wherever you get it. We would greatly appreciate

it. Especially you new listeners getting the show on the Google Play Store. We've got to rack up the reviews and ratings on there, so make sure you do that. Next week on the program, the summer blockbuster extravaganza rolls on as we go out west for what is it? Wicca, wicka, wicka.

wild wild west wild west that's right will smith Kevin Klein oh Kevin Klein of course Salma Hayek oh and Salma Hayek isn't there another person in that movie oh there's probably a couple who's the villain in that movie noted despian Kenneth Brana Kenneth Brana is the bad guy in that movie as we welcome in the studio special guest Ben Worcester

of Blame it on outer space will be on hand to chat with us so until next week when we wika wika wild wild west I'm Andrew Jupin Steven Zayda. Eric Siska, wika, wika.