We Hate Movies - S6: WHM On-Screen: Spectre

Episode Date: November 18, 2015

On this episode of WHM On-Screen, the gang sits down to have a quick chat about Spectre. A slight case of "Different Opinions on We Hate Movies" turns up as the guys debate things like the merits of all the franchise references, that Sam Smith song, Bond's Scooby team, Daniel Craig's potential return, and, of course, their personal rankings of all the Craig films. PLUS: Was that art director into tentacle porn or what? Spectre stars Daniel Craig, Christoph Waltz, Léa Seydoux, Ralph Fiennes, Monica Bellucci, Ben Whishaw, Naomie Harris, Dave Bautista, Andrew Scott, Rory Kinnear, Jesper Christensen, and Dame Judi Dench as Jamie Kennedy; directed by Sam Mendes.Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

So Mendez is done, right? So, is that a confirmed thing? that Mendys is done. And I think Craig is on the fence? Like, is this the last Craig James Bond movie? Yeah, it could entirely be the last...

I mean, he was contracted for four and that's over. So it's like... I think it's like a... He's a free agent now. Up for Bond renewal. I don't know what Mendie's deal is. I kind of don't care.

I feel like Craig's coming back. I really feel like... You think so? Really? I feel like he's not done. Like, what else is he gonna do, man? Well, it's like, they so insisted on shoving this like Bond arc down our throat

Yeah And like now that arc is completed So Is he just gonna have a rando bond Adventure? I would love it It would be great Yeah I'd love that too

But I think if they did another one He'd be like visiting himself As a baby in the hospital It'd be like This is the one where Bond does a bunch of LSD Oh that'd be cool He's in like an experiment MI6

Like it's like we got to find out What this LSD does Oh yeah Yeah, that would be pretty great, actually. Yeah, and he's, like, the only one that they can outright kill if they wanted to. He's expendable, dude. Yeah. Welcome to W.H.M. on screen.

I'm Andrew Jupin alongside Eric Siskin and Stephen Sadek. We are, as the title says, talk inspector, the fourth James Bond film to star, Mr. Daniel Craig. And it's been out for three weeks, and spoiler alert, obviously, for the whole damn movie, which you're about to talk. Yeah, if you haven't seen it and you care, don't listen to this right now. Yeah, wait till you see it. It's not going anywhere, baby. it's on the internet it's you know i was okay with it i i think i like uh skyfall a lot more like a lot more uh yeah cuna rial the same actually never saw quantum asales i don't think i ever will

really now quantum as solace is definitely the worst it's the worst of these but it's funny like i don't have that hatred for it that other people have like i mean there are some people that fucking hate that honestly when i saw it i felt like i my time would have been better spent reading the phone book I need to rewatch it, though. I remember there's like a couple of really solid car chases in it. Like the villainous scheme of Matthew Amarik is like kind of silly. He's like stealing a country's water supply.

It's like... That sounds boring. Yeah, I know it is. It's like it's more Hank Scorpio than it is like a James Bond villain. But I mean, Almaric is a great actor. So it's like cool to see him kind of flaunt around as a Bond villain. And, you know, Olga Curi Lenko, I think, is kind of an okay femme fatale there, you know? I mean, yeah, it's the worst of the Daniel Craig Bonds, that's for sure.

And, you know, I, you know, it's seen on the internet, all this, like, now people have been shitting down Spector's neck. Oh, dude, they're ripping that movie's jaw wide open and taking a big, huge, wet moose dump down it. But I think Spector is the best of the Daniel Craig movies, and I know I just heard your monocle fall into your champagne flute. And I'm sorry about that, but I really loved this movie for, and the past stuff I don't like. Right, referring to the Bond backstory that's sort of been set up. Yeah, I like that he's got a stupid dumb car that shoots fire out the back. Yeah, definitely. He's got a big, friggin' heavy after him.

Like, it just, these actions, it just reminded me of like the older movies and it was well-paced. Yeah. I really liked Skyfall a lot. and Casino Royale, but both of those I felt like there were moments where I was checking my watch. Sure. And this one I wasn't, maybe it was the mood I was in when I saw it, maybe it was because

I was drinking. But I had a good time. And that's what it's about. I mean, I had a good time, too. I agree with you. I didn't feel that two hours and 20 whatever minutes that actually in an American multiplex, you know, with trailers and commercials, I mean, it worked out to

my wife and I were sitting in this fucking theater for three hours with this movie but I didn't feel it during this movie I wasn't checking my watch I got a little bit of an extra movie

when I got there oh yeah I went to see this this afternoon and I get in there and you know I sit through 20 minutes of credits or previews and the first thing that pops up

the movie is you know the regal whatever happens the tree walks around and I'm like oh that's cool it's the movie right and then it says based on actual events and I'm like wait what

this is actual is there actually was this movie based on is James Bond real if they change it on me and then it's like Boston 1976 and I'm like what the fuck am I watching and then like very clearly very quickly everyone in the theater which is pretty like this is an afternoon showing on a Tuesday everyone realized that this was not sky fault it was actually that movie a spotlight yeah it wasn't a specter you mean yeah it was another SP and then a vowel movie yeah somebody just switched up the file See, what's so horrendously nerdy about me,

and I think it's like because of my line of work, like I would have found that out before that even happened because I just would have looked at the distributor on like the front of the thing. Oh, so you're saying you would have read something. I would have looked at it and said open road pictures did not distribute Spector. This is the wrong movie that's played.

It was funny, yeah. When they fixed it after a lot of hullabaloo, the MGM thing came on. I was like, yeah, that's what I should have thought. Oh, the fucking lie. That's what I was waiting for. Around the horn, what do we think about Christoph Falls in this movie?

Love him. Underused, but I thought he did a great job. I liked him a lot. I know a lot of people are saying he's underused, but I think that if he was in it more, it would have been mustache twirling nonsense. You know, I would like, I thought the promise of Spector,

the beginning, like the first 20, 40 minutes when like, then he goes to that cool, like, Secret Society sex meeting, which is really neat. It's a little eyes wide shut or G-esque. And that's awesome. And like the threat of that organization looms hugely. That's your, you're playing the eyes wide shut score on a beer can. That's right.

And then for two hours, it kind of goes away from me. Then what's his face comes back? And he's like, I'm the author of Japan. I'm like, oh, yeah, that movie. He was in this movie. Oh, yeah. Oh, he is in this movie. movie. I like the torture scene

of him in that chair with the little like motorized needle going around. I thought that was, I wish it was just a torture scene when he's like, I'm going to affect your center where you remember people's faces and then that just doesn't work. It's like, oh, okay. Yeah, I mean, he prefaces it with if

if I do this right, it's not going to work or it's going to erase your memory or whatever. With that scene, I kind of agree with Steve a little bit that I would have preferred just to cut and dry. No, no, I'm torturing you, James. But it's interesting because like this movie more than the other crags is very much like we've got some gadgets floating around we've got we've got him doing the bond comedy which you don't get too much in the other movies yeah and this is like the the villain has like a weird thing it's like goldfingers fucking laser table you know what i mean like in casino royale yeah it's a dude that's whipping him in the ball sack through a seatless chair that's about as caveman as it gets sure that's not as elegant is this Yeah, exactly. I'm like, oh, we're in this weird white clean room thing, you know.

I was kind of cool with it. I was cool. I mean, I liked it. I just, for whatever reason, what really the sour note for me, and I'm not alone in this. I'm probably one of the people shitting on the whatever, is the whole we were brothers once because you spent a couple summers in my house. It's just, you know, it's the epitome of just too muchery. Who cares? Who could care. That is the worst part of this. And that's, unfortunately, par for the course with this iteration of Bond. Yeah. Every single movie, it's just like, hey, this is the tricycle you used to use.

It's like, I don't give a fuck about Bond. The tricycle where you had your first chase scene. But yeah, to that point, they always kind of flirt with it where you think it's like, oh my God, is he his father? Which would be incredibly stupid. Sure. But at least it would mean something. But I think Christoph Waltz is like total tops 10 years older than him. that he's his father, but that he's actually related

to him, he is his brother, he's his twin. You know what I mean? Like, in the last movie he was like, oh, are they related somehow or what's going on? Like, that happens in two movies in a row wherein they both are like, oh, remember that time you went to the grocery store and dropped that orange and that I gave it to you? That was me.

Remember when you were running and you got on the tricycle, but I was in my power wheels ever after you, James? It's just whatever. I mean, like, whatever. My God, whatever with that part my biggest whatever with this movie because like that was set up in specter already and like even as far back as casino royale like you have between craig and judy dench like

the acknowledgement that there is some kind of like more personal relationship to them than just like you know she's she's m and it's whatever but i kind of like that that's okay i mean yeah but like so i'm i'm ready for this especially at the end of skyfall like i'm ready for this yeah yeah what i'm not ready for that they do in this movie more than any other Bond that I've ever seen is he's got an outright fucking Scooby gang in this movie. Yeah, yeah. There is way too much

in this movie of M, Q, and Money Penny fucking fist farting through this whole movie. And the pig fucking prime minister from Black Mirror. Oh yeah. Oh, yeah. That guy's getting in on it too. He's helping out with the hacking, with Q, and it's just like,

dude, Bond does this on his own. That's why he's the double O. I would have liked to see more double O's just because the idea is like oh the program is being disengaged or whatever so why is there only one of them working on this exactly they even say 009

like show me who double O's is exactly I want to see where all the double O's like go to like a bar right they all go to fucking McGuire's and sit around shit talk Ray finds you know shit talk the boss like have a decompression session how it would be so easy to get 009 to pay Clive Owen to be 009.

No, he'd rather fucking die than play 009. Are you kidding me? He'd rather sit in a fucking bottomless chair and have his balls punch. Maybe, yeah, you're right. Maybe it's too soon for him. No, dude, because he didn't get it over Daniel Craig.

I know that, but the balls punch it, man. Or maybe like any of these other actors that, like, you and McGregor would be 009. You know what I mean? Get him a cool cameo. Oh, that's fun. You know what I mean? something i mean have that i don't and this is what's obnoxious is ostensibly because like whatever like the spectre thing looms large and blowfelds like you know the big v lane or whatever

but like the villain of the movie is c played by the dude who's moriarty in the new sherlock and everything um he's killed by m yeah like ray finds technically like fucks over like the bad guy of the movie. Yes. You know, like, that really bothered me. And that's got to be Bond in that scene. I kind of didn't mind just because I'm, it's just like Bond as Superman, doing everything gets boring to me. And I'm not

the biggest Bond fan of the world, so my opinion means shit. And everyone listening to this thinks I'm a piece of fucking shit now. Well, they've had 200 somewhat episodes to form that opinion. It's not just this episode on Specter. But it was, you know, Here's a question. Is Sam Mendy's

a fan of tentacle porn? Because that beginning is tentacle pornography. No, it's whatever artist they got to do one of the worst Bond opening sequences. The video with the fucking octopus fucking old ladies.

You thought about sex with that? No, I guess you were supposed to. Yeah. I was just thinking I kind of wanted some sushi. I was at Alamo draft house ordering a during that so I didn't care. It's fucking terrible. That Sam Smith song is garbaba

bar bar barbage. It's garbage. Why not just spectre? You're the specter everybody. You know what? I'm just saying I'm available for the next one. I can say you're the whatever everybody to just about anything. It's just fucking horrible. It's such

a shitty song and that credit sequence is also garbage. I will say, I think that the because we're shitting on the movie a lot I love the beginning. I think the first half hour is awesome. That helicopter fight was awesome. That's great.

How quiet it was, how when someone got pushed off the helicopter, that was it. I didn't have to see them splatter or anything like that. No, no, it was great. It's jar and like the whole building, you probably kills hundreds of people at that point. It's fantastic. I thought that was, I mean, I kind of think the movie gets worse as it goes on to be on. I wanted more Dave Batista. I would say the third act is definitely the worst.

Well, it's just like any other. Sam Mendes movie ever made. That is the curse of Sam Mendes is once you get to the third act, whatever goodwill you had toward a movie starts rapidly falling apart. And it's like, this better be a short third act or else people are going to just start really hating this movie. Like, everything he's ever made feels that way to me, including all of these bonds. Every bond that he's directed, it's like, oh, man, this just has a shitty third act.

Like, I really like Skyfall, too. The third act of that movie is not great. Is that we're at his house shooting up stuff? Oh, yeah. And we got that fucking Scottish groundskeeper helping out. Oh, welcome to Chateau Dubon. Yeah. By the way, it's the only time I can say this.

But Judy Dench totally pulls at Jamie Kennedy in this movie. Oh, he certainly does. If you find yourself in a Bond movie. Here are the rules for surviving Specter. Man is that stupid. And it's like, I feel that they have had. dude recorded that on her last day of Skyfall. It's like you're not getting Dame

Judy Dench back for one line of dialogue. Do you think they did that as another one of these like references to other James Bond movies? Because there's so many throughout this movie. What do you mean? Well, everything in this movie is from another Bond movie.

Like that that Snow Palace, she's a psychiatrist. That's just on her majesty secret service. That's correct. The train fight is kind of like from Russia with love. You're totally right. And that's what's weird is because I thought

like they did that all throughout Skyfall because it was like 50 years of James Bond, 1962 to 2012. We're celebrating it by all these references. And then I'm watching this movie and I'm like oh, fucking wait a second. No. Like you were doing that in Skyfall

and it's acceptable. Stop doing it now. But you're totally right. It's very reference heavy. I do want to jump on that. I like the references. that ice palace where they give I've gotten therapy at many places it's always some hippies junkie house you know what I mean

it's never some sexy lair wherein James Bond has got great insurance yeah that's true By the way though let's be careful to mention it's not like the ice hotel from Die Another Day No That's not what we're talking about here It's just a gigantic compound

Right on the top of a mountain Oh that dude who shoots Who blows his brains out Is he in Quantum of Solid? Yes. Okay, that would make sense. He's one of the Villains. That's kind of what I was getting. Even though I never saw it. I was like, that guy's probably in quantifal.

It's that dude in Metiamaic. Oh, got you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a pretty, that's a good scene when he blows his brains out. That is an awesome scene. Oddly, though, and so I read some article that pointed this out online. Like, it was, they were kind of busting on like when he walks back into the, you know, the rubble that was the MI6 headquarters and whatever. And it's like the printouts and the spray paint, whatever.

And some writer was saying, like, it's kind of funny. Can you imagine, like, the intern working for Spector that's just like reporting back home to their parents like what did I do at work today while I had to make a bunch of computer printouts of all these dead people and post them around a dilapidated building it's very labor intensive that whole last thing that he's got going on there it's a real scheme but it's like my thought was like shit Specter you can't even pull out a color printer those are expensive clearly it's more moody to have black and white

you know, Flo Felt's thinking about the art Yeah, I guess that's true. I like, by the way, because it just reminded me of like we wind up with Leia Seudeau like tied to a bomb and that whole thing. I like her a lot in this movie. Yeah, she's really good. I think she's really good. She's a strong female. Also, speaking

of strong females, Monica Palucci they're like, oh, by the way, Felix Leiter's going to take care of it. See you never again. I'm curious about that. I mean, this movie's two hours and 20-some-odd minutes. Maybe they just cut it. Is there a director's cut of this? Like, how do you have Monica Balucci for four and a half

minutes of this? You set up Felix Leiter, where's my Jeffrey Wright? Where is he? I was like... I was waiting for him as well. I was so excited because I... Jeffrey Wright is my favorite Felix Lider and I was like, fuck yeah, dude, another scene with Felix, here we go. Just drop town.

Yep. I totally didn't get it. It was such a bummer for me. I was, maybe I'm the only one to hear because I like the actor, but I felt like for whatever reason, Bond and this new version of Sherlock are almost too close to have Moriarty in this movie it was a bit distracting well it's distracting because I don't know if you've seen Sherlock but like the whole thing is have you seen it yeah okay because I was gonna spoil it for you anyway but like how it's sort of it's hidden

like he's he's he's he's Moriarty hiding in plain sight yeah yeah yeah you know and in so like your brain knows him as the actor that did that so in this the second I saw him I'm like well he's crooked. Well, here's the thing with this is Sherlock releases stuff so infrequently that I'm watching this movie and I've seen all Sherlock and I enjoy it a lot. My wife leans over. It tells me

that's, oh, that's the guy that played Mario Di. I'm like, oh, really? Oh, hey, that's neat. Yeah. So I wasn't really that distracted by it. Yeah, I was like, is he going to start yelling at James Bond around the side of a pool? Like, you know, I, yeah, that kind of bummed me out. I mean, and it sucks, too,

because that dude is a great actor. He is really good. And I was so excited to see him in a fucking massive budget movie like this. You know, it's great for him and I think he's really good at it. It's just, it's a little too... It's unfortunate for me anyway.

Maybe I'm not the only one, but... Unfortunate that what? It's just a little too close. They're both too British. Yeah, too British. Well, what does Daniel Craig have to do with... No, but Sherlock Holmes? Sherlock Holmes, James Bond.

They're both British fucking guys that solve mysteries and kill people. I guess. I guess so. I wasn't feeling that at all. Right in the mailbag so I'm not an asshole, I guess. Well, to your credit, my wife did say,

like, oh, I know he's a bad guy because he always plays a dick. He's got that face. I mean, overall, I liked it. I would, if we're doing recommends for a movie, I would recommend it if you like these movies. It's just, it's a little unfortunate. I would have loved a little more Batista. I want him big time. And maybe, I want more

henchmen in general, to be quite honest. That last warehouse scene, give me like 50 henchmen. Let's start cracking some necks. Are you talking about like at the specter compound? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, what is everybody's lying down like dogs there? You know, I'm Christoph Waltz. I'm pretty pissed off.

Look at my face. That's why we train, guys. So my face doesn't look like this. That was a thing that I got a little nitpicky about. It's like, I don't need to see the origin of Blofeld's scar. Yeah. You know, like I'm glad they're setting it up that Blowfell's. won't be a one and done for Christoph Walsh?

I mean, that's clearly why he gets arrested at the end of this movie and not murdered. Which was nice to see the villain not be executed. Well, yeah, and that's the thing. Like, for all the criticism of, like, this is, like, just a caveman bond that's like a killing machine. Like, if this is indeed the final outing of Daniel Craig as James Bond, it's nice to see that he's made this arc. Like, I feel like Casino Royale James Bond is putting two between Blofeld's eyes and that's the fucking end of it. Right. I think this should be his last. So do I.

And if we're going around the Hornabai recommends, I'd give it five bags of pop things. Man, I fucking love on cinema at the cinema. What a great show. I would recommend it too. I think we should do this because it's only four and it might be Craig's last. If it's his last, how are you power ranking all the movies?

Yeah, let's list them, although you just don't count quantum solace. I'm going to say Skyfall 1, Casino Real 2, this number three and then the movie I didn't see is number four I would say and I'm the asshole on the internet right now Specter number one

Skyfall Casino and what's it's Quantum right that's the last one yeah I kind of fucking hate it so well that that should be last then yeah I would say probably Casino Royale Skyfall this and then Quantum is how I do it

yeah that's it I mean, I think, you know, maybe in three years if a new James Bond movie comes out, we'll do another on-screen. But, you know, I'm glad we got to talk some Bond. Continuing what everybody thought was a James Bond month here at We Hate Movies. No one ever said that. It was only supposed to be a week. I don't know if I misspoke at the beginning of Never Say Never Again or what,

but, you know, here you go. We made it a month for everybody. Yeah, there's three things for you to check out. We did that animation damnation on James Bond Jr. Oh, man, that cartoon. And, of course, never say never again. by the way hashtag w hmbk challenge still just putting it out there you have till the end of november and then i'll stop saying it so until next time i'm andrew jupin eric sister stephen say that

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