We Hate Movies - S6: WHM On-Screen: X-Men: Apocalypse

Episode Date: June 3, 2016

On this episode of WHM On-Screen, Andrew and Steve give their thoughts on the latest entry into the X-Men saga, X-Men: Apocalypse! Did we really need Magneto to be taking up space in this movie? That Quicksilver sequence was pretty fantastic, though. And how much did Jennifer Lawrence not want to be in the Mystique makeup?! PLUS: Andrew fantasizes about Apocalypse being one giant, delicious, grape Tootsie Roll. X-Men: Apocalypse stars James McAvoy, Michael Fassbender, Jennifer Lawrence, Nicholas Hoult, Oscar Isaac, Rose Byrne, Evan Peters, Sophie Turner, Tye Sheridan, Lucas Till, Kodi Smit-McPhee, Ben Hardy, Alexandra Shipp, and Olivia Munn; directed by Bryan Singer.Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hello, and welcome to a very special W.H.M. On screen, as we call it. I'm Andrew Jupin alongside Steven Sadek. We're here to talk about X-Men. Apocalypse. Is this X-Men Week? Did someone not tell me? I don't know. You know, we had the A.D. that came out yesterday. Uh-huh. And that was, you know, talking about the glorious X-Men cartoon, but a bad one.

You know, and then we're leading you into Friday here with a little talking about apocalypse. And, like, I feel at this point a lot of folks have probably seen the film, so that's fine. But, of course, you know, spoilers abound, you know, so if you haven't seen it yet. I'm not going to talk in elliptical terms about a movie. No, I don't have. time for that. No, no. I don't want to be doing a bunch of

like, you know who's when you know where. That's not entertainment. When you know what happened? Oh, no. Oh, shit. Yeah, no. So this is the third installment

of the second trilogy, I think is the idea. Sure. There's been like 15 of these movies or something. There's so many X-Men movies. It's six prime. Yes.

You got two Wolverine movies, another one on the way. And you got a Deadpool. And you got a Deadpool. Am I missing anybody? Did Rogue have an adventure? She had Rogue cut. Maybe that makes it 10.

Oh, God. Does that count as a separate movie? It shouldn't. It's so shouldn't. Yeah, there's a lot of these movies. Yeah. And you know what? I'm kind of okay with it.

I think this is like, this is my favorite, like, superhero franchise. The Fox X-Men movies, man. I'm kind of, I'm in the same boat. And we'll get it out of the way right now. A current. I mean, you know. Yes.

Yeah. We both liked this movie. Yeah. I liked it. I had. problems with it. I think that it's you know and I mean look it's okay also not to like this movie too. Sure

I know plenty of you out there don't hey that's cool hey cool you don't like it and I've also like heard like decent arguments where I'm like yeah you're right but I just kind of like the movie you know what I mean like which is that's I especially with these movies it's got a big place of my heart anyway yeah it's

respectful enough to the material where I'm like sure you know what I mean like yeah apocalypse is kind of thin whatever you know what I mean like I don't know what Magneto is doing in this movie either buddy but you know what sure he's got to be to be you know to keep it a hundred

he's got no business being in this fucking movie I love Michael Fastbender I love him as Magneto he's got no GD business being in this movie I mean like we get to see Magneto like working in Poland and like having a wife whatever but

you know like having a wife and a kid who I keep meeting to Wikipedia I don't think that this kid is anybody as far as like an ex person or an actor prime yeah you know it would have been cool to sort of switch it if they named her Wanda

and it was like kind of a Wanda like Spawn and then Spawn comes to save her no would be if they name her Wanda and then she's just kind of the Scarlet Witch and the Scarlet Witch gets killed and then you don't have to worry about her anymore oh yeah that would be kind of cool

Because in the first of those, in Days of Future Past, he does, Quicksilver does have a little sister, like for, like a very little sister, which you kind of have to infer is Scarlet Witch. Oh, right. Who is just not in this movie. She's not in this movie. Yeah. Yeah, no, this is like Magneto as if Michael Fastbender's starring in like a mid-80s Polish social realist film. Yeah, sure.

Which I love those. So, like, this is like kind of cool, you know? And it's just, it is heartbreaking. Yeah. Yeah. This, I mean, this fucker, this poor magnetic fucker, man, he is doing his darndest not to be the world's biggest villain. Sure. He's living his life working at this factory. He's kind of, and here's the thing. And you know this is happening. He's like, he secretly has to save somebody. Yeah. Because he's a good dude. And that's, it sucks. He's a big rig falls. It's full of, like, magma. I don't know how factories work.

Sure. And, you know. The magma factory, they're making magma for the troops. Sure. For the lava troops. The troops need magma ammunition, right? That's factory work. Uh-huh. You know, and like, yeah, the thing falls, and he saves this dude.

Like, if it was old Magneto, he's just letting this fat guy get crushed. You know, the little village would have a cute funeral. He gets buried in a nice, simple pine barks. Yep. And that's the end of it. True to a, you know, mid-80s Polish social realism. Absolutely. Sure.

But, you know, this is like, he's. He uses the power and that's his undoing because then they come for him and man, do they ever accidentally murder this kid? It's kind of cool. They know he's Magneto so they're like I guess they have like a Magneto war chest somewhere filled with

bows and arrows. Well I think they just stole toys from their sons. You know what I mean? Yeah, that's possible. All these like wooden swords and wooden bows and arrows. Yeah, you know, it's all like things made by kids. And they're gonna they're pretty, it's pretty clear

they're going to hang Magneto in the town square. Oh, there's a lot of non-metallic rope around. Yeah, he's getting hung. Oh, totally, dude. Which is a scene I'd like. Oh, sure. But, you know, he's about to go. And then, yeah, that one guy like just, oh, no, the girl starts controlling the birds, which is pretty dope. She's got, it's not, it's, dude, it's all animal control.

Oh, right. Because when, when Magneto comes home from work the day before, she's, he's like, you know, oh, where's our child? And this, this beard is like, oh, she's out back talking with her friends. And, like, there's the, there's the daughter, like, conversing with deer. Welcome back to Stuck Together, like, Magnets. I guess it's, like, an 80s sitcom. Oh, with Magneto?

That'd be cool, too. I'd watch that. Yeah, no, she starts, like, talking to these animals. Like, it's the end of Ace Ventura, too. You know, and it's, like, get damn. And this dude, like, gets spooked by a bird and she shoots an arrow through this girl's back. And the other woman, too, the wife. Oh, right.

Yeah, it's a true. two-for-one killing, huh? He's really good at it. Maybe that fucker's a mutant. Hey, he's a mutant. Bullseye. Well, I just feel like that must happen a lot in the X-Men world. Like, you know, you're drunk and you do really good at big buck hunter.

And somebody fucking throws a rock at your head because I think you're a mutant. Oh, hey, man, I got a perfect score of Buck Hunter. Hick-chink rock to the face. Exactly. Fucking mutant with his good buck-hunt skills. That was just Larry. He's a fucking mutant. Only good beauty is a dead beauty.

Yeah, so then, but it's a little bit like who cares because it's got nothing to do with the movie. It doesn't, except, I mean, it brings Magneto back to the fold. Exactly. And I mean, like, the main thrust of the movie is Apocalypse, Oscar Isaac, who we can get into, who's doing okay. I don't think that he's, it's not a bad performance. It's a really, we knew this for a really long time that the costume was really silly. Well, listen, Steve. And the face paint was really silly.

It is super hard. And I'm not talking from experience. I'm talking from rumors that I hear. It's really hard to give a 100% amazing Oscar-Isaac performance when you are covered in 15 pounds of grape tootsie roll makeup. He looks like a delicious walking-talking grape-tootsie roll. I just wanted to bite him. This whole movie, I just wanted to eat him up.

It's just, he looks like he belongs in a play set. He doesn't belong in a movie. He doesn't belong to be talking to people. He belongs in a fun little playset. You know, I think kind of my problem with it is the costume, not the, you know, delicious grape-tootsie-roll makeup. The costume is very Schumacher, Mr. Freeze. It is.

There's too many pipes. And, I mean, like, you know, there's ways to do apocalypse and there's ways to apocalypse. Yeah. I just don't think this is very good. I actually think that sometimes, like, there are certain scenes. It's lit a little better than others. Like, sometimes his eyes go white.

And I'm like, yeah, okay, Apocalypse. You know? And I think that Oscar Isaac's doing pretty good. He's, like, very mysterious. I mean, like, he's mysterious because they really didn't think him through that much. No. And, I mean, it's interesting, though, because we kind of get, like, throughout these three movies. So first class, days of future past and apocalypse, we get sort of, like, the scope of villain, you know, X-Men villain types.

Sure. Right? So, like, first class, it's kind of just. Magneto, you know, like turning. Like, that's the constant Eric and Charles struggle. And Kevin Bacon as Sebastian Shaw. Yes. Hellfire Club.

January Jones. Yikes. So you have that stuff. Then you have, like, you know, villains working with the government in the second one, Trask, the Sentinels, all that stuff. And this is like the weird gods category, this movie. And you'd throw in like all the space shit that they fight. Yeah, it's kind of, it's, yeah.

No, you're right. And this is what I like about this. movie is more so than the other movies. I don't want to say any other X-Men movie. Yeah. It's just kind of a fun X-Men adventure. Yeah. And that's sort of like, I feel like totally okay with. There's no like political intertones and undertones. It were like, you know, metaphors that don't exactly make a whole lot of sense. It's just like, hey, these guys are mutants. They got powers. Let's fucking fight. And we're doing stuff. Yeah. And I feel like when I went into this movie, that's just what I wanted. You know, it was like, it was an early morning thing.

to a Fox trade screening of this which I feel sort of helped my experience of enjoying the film because it was like in a massive theater but it was like me and 10 other people so like nobody's sitting near me I could just sort of geek out which is how you kind of want this movie

but like it was just I was looking to have fun at the movies and I had it you know and like sometimes it's okay to like you know just soak yourself in two and a half hours of brain candy it's I mean it is a long

long movie. Yes. I went to the bathroom twice. Oh, really? Like, yep, whatever, yeah. But I didn't, I did not feel the length in this movie as much as I felt it in like Civil War. Even Deadpool to an extent. And Deadpool's not a terribly long movie, but it felt long to me. Civil War, I definitely got up to go to the bathroom. That was for damn sure. Yeah, I mean, but I think this, I mean, like, I don't think, I think this movie's worse than both of those movies in a lot of ways. But I think that I just respond to the characters a lot more. I like, we finally. get a Cyclops that's worth a damn. I like James Mars and they just never give him anything to do. Right. I think the Cyclops scene when he turns the new mutant is pretty cool. Gene Gray is awesome. Sophie Turner does a really good job and I thought so too, yeah. I like that they're

just thrown in the Phoenix and it's not, it's just there and by the end of the movie she's just the fucking Phoenix and we'll figure it out later. You know what the hell? You know? And she does a cool fatality on Apocalypse by the way. She totally does her finish him, which is pretty fantastic. I wanted to

I mean, it's been longer since you've seen this movie than I have, and people also can tweet at me and whatever, because I just haven't seen this. What does Apocalypse say right before he dies? Like, he realizes something about the Phoenix, I want to say? Like, he's like, oh, it has been written or it's begun or something, something, something. Oh, yeah, I really don't remember. And then he just gets turned into fucking just a burnt tootsie roll.

Oh, yeah, dude. He's a crispy critter at the end of this movie. He looks like an overdone chicken. wing when all is said and done. And I mean, I like James, this is the best James McAvoy you'll ever get. Sure. Is these movies, I think he's good. I like, I want more bald Xavier now, because I'm like, that looks pretty fucking cool.

And the way that they did it, like, I didn't think it was stupid. I was like, he's really fucking sweating it in this, like, weird, like, hypersexual apocalypse body transfer thing that we're dealing with, you know? And it just, it worked. You know, if you have to tell me how a dude loses his hair, that's a pretty cool way for it to fall out. I just kind of wanted the beginning of this movie. He's just got thinner, Hank, hair. And he's like, oh, Hank.

It's just, God damn it. I'm going to shave it. No, it looks good. No, I'm just going to shave it. You know what? I know what you're doing. Don't do it. Don't humor me.

I know I look like, shit. Just shave my head, Hank. Shave my fuck. No, get that. Get that kid with the blade hands. Get him in here. Edward, get him in here. I got fucking 50 mutants.

Nobody knows how to grow fucking hair in this goddamn school. Male patterned fucking baldness. I'm a fucking mutant. I can't even walk. I love... What do I love in this movie? Oh, here's a thing that's great. Dude, I was so geeking out over that quicks over sequence.

Oh, it was cool. It's so cool. It's... I mean, it's a little. longer version of the one you saw last time, but it's a bigger, it's blown out so much more because it's a big explosion. And you got your rhythmic's going on

which is pretty cool. Yep. It's just awesome. And it's, you know, he's having fun with it. I think what's this, Evan Peters is that kid's name? Sure. Yeah, that sounds about right. He's good in these movies. I like, I like that they're really kind of pushing the Magneto's my dad stuff. Here's my beef.

Sure, go ahead. A beef that I have with this movie. I hated that this kid was not just like, I'm your Yes. There's so many goddamn moments for this motor mouth talkie-talk character that Quicksilver is in this movie. Sure. And that's like the one time he's going to button up like six times in this movie. Like when we're in Cairo and Magneto is laying waste to the world. And Jennifer Lawrence says, Mystique is like, just do it.

Just tell him. You know, if you probably tell him, he might stop laying. It'll make him think about his other dead kid. By the way, you have a dead sister. And maybe he'll stop salting the earth. That was annoying. And then at the end, when all is set and done and Magneto is like, you know, good enough again. And he and Gene Gray are together like rapidly building back the mansion and all this stuff.

You know what? You still need like glue. And you still like, you know what I mean? Like you can't, it's not a jenga house where you could use just telecony. and magnets. Because they're going to walk away and that shit's going to fall apart. Yeah. A lot of glue in houses, as I understand.

It's a bunch of glue all over this house. It fell together with glue. Yeah, I don't know. I mean, dude, as we learned on a previous episode, Gene Gray is a Class 5 mutate. Oh, that's true. Yeah. She is a Class 5 in this movie.

Yeah. Oh, big time Class 5 in this movie. Oh, because again, because, you know, I don't remember who he's talking to. He's talking to Storm, which is weird, because I'd be like, hey, Mystique, what the fuck? You know what I mean? Like,

Oh, yeah, you're right. Just Storm, who was, like, bad until just now. Yeah, you're telling this villain, my fucking family history. But, like, that was another, like, she's like, so, are you going to tell him? He's like, eh, maybe someday. I don't know why I just made him Bugs Bunny. I mean, he kind of is. Yeah, I agree.

That's like, that's like, ooh, next movie. But I don't care. Just do it. Just stop. That's like, Dodson? Dodson. See, nobody cares. Like, literally...

Nobody cares. Exactly. I just, whatever. I also, I think Storm's pretty cool in this movie. I think she's good. She doesn't have a ton to do? No, but I appreciated, and I don't know how true it is the character. But, you know, like the whole, like, street urchin, you know, kind of thing.

That's what she did. She was a pickpocket in Morocco. Yeah, okay, so that's cool. Yeah. And I just, I liked... I liked her, like, falling in with Apocalypse. Yeah. Dude, I loved Apocalypse.

putting that dude inside the wall. That's pretty fun. Just for talking shit. Man, what a punishment. Well, that's why I think Magneto actually kind of weighs this down too much. Because once Magneto becomes a horseman, it's the fucking apothea. It's the Magneto show, as always. But I like, you know, what he's doing with.

What's his, with Storm? And then he gets Silak. I like the Caliban scene a lot, actually. I thought that was kind of cool. Yeah, I just, I don't like Olivia Munn. Sure. I mean, she's kind of just cosplaying in this movie.

She is. Listen, it's cool that she's wearing a ridiculous, like a comic artist drew this costume. Sure. You know,

or like a cartoonist drew this. Like, it looks like a costume. Sure. Versus like we're all wearing motorcycle jackets. Yeah,

yeah. So I'm fine with that. But, I mean, if you just want to talk about window dressing. I mean, she's doing nothing

in this movie. I mean, she's kind of an enforcer, which is fine, whatever. Yeah. But I mean, like, that's what, if you take Magno out, maybe you give Silak a plot. You know what I mean? Well, exactly. Maybe you give Storm some more lines. Maybe you give Angel some more lines.

I thought, I kind of liked Angel in this movie a little bit. I did. I liked the whole we're finding him and Nightcrawler in Germany, like being forced to fight each other. In the street fighter club where you find Vega, which is nice. Vega was right there. They just didn't go get him. Oh, I see. Oh, man, see, Vega could have been the fourth horse.

You don't need Megged him. You picked up fucking Vega. That's a move I want. A little too close to Wolverine, though, I guess. Yeah, that's true. But, like, you know, they've got that really interesting exchange. Because they set it up where, like, Angels just, like, laying waste to all these people, like, really kicking ass in this thing. And then, like, you know, Kurt Wagner's, like, you know, jumping all over the place, transporting all over place.

Because he doesn't want to fight. Yeah. And Angel has that great line of, like, if we don't fight, like, they're going to kill us. Yes. You know, and it was a cool moment of like, listen, I don't want to do this, dude, but let's fucking get down to fighting. Get down to fucking or fighting. Like, it's either fucking or fighting or they're going to kill us. One of the other three.

Exactly. And I thought that whole thing was cool. That's a moment. Is he a blob cameo? No, I missed it. There's a blob cameo? He's the guy that Angel beats in. Like, when you come in on Angel, he's beating somebody, and that's a big fat guy that is dressed like the blobs.

See, I didn't know because no one in the movie said bub and then that dude didn't go, Do you say blob? So it didn't telegraph to me that that was blob. It'd be great if like 10 minutes of this movie was just them burying the blob. Wait, what do you mean he was dressed like the blob? He's wearing a 4xL t-shirt? No, I mean, the blob has like a black kind of spandex outfit. Oh, that thing.

It's kind of just like a fat guy's high school wrestling uniform. You look a little bit like Under the Giant, but not so much like Under the Giant. Yeah. See, that blob could have been a horseman. Why the hell not? Yeah, exactly. Pretty cool. And my fat horseman.

It's weird how Apocalypse is calling them all his children. Yeah. It's a very Fred Kruger of him. What I like about him, and it's happening there a little bit, but they don't give him enough to do, is like, he is kind of a weird cult leader. You know what I mean? Like he's, like, playing on everybody's strengths and weaknesses and trying to get the best out of them and, like, just being. super manipulative and like that's a way to go with this but that doesn't happen you know it's kind of weird burning down Auschwitz um yeah it's kind of this weird like i was

you're not allowed to do that magnito like well i mean i was i was kind of reading a bunch of different reviews well a bunch of reviews that i've read have another beer idiot um you know sort of said like he sort of lives out like it's like Jewish fantasy destroying the most famous death camp I was totally fine with it It was cool

It was cool It was just kind of like a thing We're like But that's like a historical site It's important We can't let Oh it's just magneted it It's just a big magnet now

Now it's more about you Magneto Well yeah I mean but honestly Like the visuals in there My jaw was open the whole time I was just like whoa The weird thing is

At the end Magneto is destroying the world, I'd be, like, it's a big mess for the next movie to clean up, because, like, New York is half destroyed, Sydney's destroyed at least. You see that opera house just fall in on itself. People are not going to like mutants next time around. They're not, we're not going to be able to go to the mall,

bring Nightcrawler to the mall, which is one of my favorite sequences. Because that's what I want the X-Men to do. I want to get in a car, go to the mall. I want that to play fucking baseball together. I want all that stupid shit. shit, the downtime shit. Yeah.

I'm trying to remember because it has been a while since I've seen this. Do we have scenes of them hanging out at the mall? Or is it just like we're going to the mall and then you see the kids

come back in the convertible? They go to the mall. There's one scene. I think they're just coming out and return to the Jedi. There's like a little exchange there. Oh, right, right, right. Which is kind of fun.

Yeah, yeah, I like that. It's weird that Civil War has an empire reference. Yeah. What do you want? It's a Jedi reference. But so that means this movie is, what, 83?

Yeah, it takes place in 83. So, I mean, if this supposedly, you know, who knows, because nothing's officially announced, and I don't want to get into fucking be in chud.com here or whatever. We're not breaking news on this. We've never broken any news on this. No, I'm not Joe blowing anything. But I'm just saying from what early reports have been said, like it's going to take place in the 90s, whatever this like next thing is. Well, so, you know, that's a solid seven or eight years for people to get over themselves. Yeah, I guess so.

That's the other thing, though, if we keep doing this time jump, you've got to start peppering up that fucking Fossbender hair, man. Because he's like, he was in the Holocaust, you know what I mean? You start doing that math. He should be about 50 in this movie. He does not look like he's 50. I mean, I know he works out every day. He can control magnetism.

Maybe that slows the aging process. You're totally right. I was actually trying to do the Magneto Birthday math in this movie. Because I was like, man, yeah, 83. he's like a child and like you know 44ish yeah so you know

I mean that's like born in the 30s kind of like so yeah yeah you're right over 50 at this point you're not getting a job

at a factory if you're uh well maybe he was like faking strength right like oh I can lift up this thing yeah I'm lifting real good lift it lift it real good uh

Jennifer Lawrence didn't want to dress up as mystique in this movie right i think that was that was probably you know what i'll do your your third weirdo movie uh you just got to dress me like that that mocking jay the whole time which is kind of annoying because it goes against what that whole character's about like yeah she's all like you know blue is beautiful and what the you know it's your problem if you don't like the way i look da da da da da like she would only morph to like you know for her own ends but which is i want to be a pretty white lady well that's all right because that whole second movie is is like fucking deal with it.

Uh-huh. You know, and now it's like, oh, no, they're mad at me. You know, and yeah, it's like, I'm going to be in this movie, but I'm going to look like myself as much as possible. Well, I feel like that, like,

Jennifer Lawrence is like making a sandwich with Brian Singer and like, Nicholas Holt was in the background mixing drinks. And she was just like, yeah, so I'm not going to do that blue shit at all. And then like, Nicholas Holtz's like, second dead!

He's kind of barely beast in this movie, too. Yeah, yeah. Again, I've said it before, like, Beast is one of my faves. He's probably, like, one of my top five X-Men. Sure. Not a lot of him as Beast. Which is what I want. I also think that, like, you could start cycling some of these people out and giving, like, I want more Cyclops in the next movie.

I definitely want a lot more Gene Gray in the next movie. I want a lot more storm, you know what I mean? Like, let's beef up these people because, A, they're younger and they're not going to, they're cheaper. You know what I mean? They still have no career. I don't think anyone's coming to these. I mean, look, and I love Fossburner. I love Fass Bonares Magneto, but if he's not in the movie,

I don't think anyone's not buying a ticket, right? Nobody cares. No, it's just like, oh, okay, like, oh, it's a different X-Men movie. You're there for the brand, you know what I mean? You get your fucking Wolverine cameo, which I liked actually a lot. I feel like, and I haven't really been paying attention to people complaining on the internet. But I have a feeling that this is a point of contention with folks. But it is the best way that you can do this.

Because if it was yet another movie, of Wolverine playing with kids. I mean, I don't care. Like, it's kind of bad enough that Fossbender's already doing that. Yes. Because the other horsemen are all just kids. Yeah, aren't you a little old to be a horseman?

Yeah, exactly. It's so sad, Magnino thinks he's, like, in this band now. He's like screech and saved by the bill, the new class. Dude, you've overstayed your welcome, you loser. But, no, I agree with you. And, like, it actually works well with the timeline the setting up where in the first movie he's just regular Wolverine just living in Canada tells Xavier to go fuck himself with the second movie he's like some drug runner or whatever

and like you know he gets you know inhabited by his older self blah blah blah blah blah but at the end of it he gets caught and then he's weapon X for 10 years you know what I mean and then like he gets out he's wearing that stupid fucking helmet which I love because it's that it's one of those things like oh shit man that's a stupid helmet like it looks like garbage it looks like I think always looks like garbage. Dude, it's a prop from a fan film. It looks so, it probably cost like $60,000 to make for no reason. But man, does it look stupid?

It does. But it's always looked stupid. And that's like one of those like, quote unquote, nods to the fan. And maybe that's what it is. It's rose-colored glasses. And this is the fan thing that gets me. And I'm like, I just like that it's there. You know what I mean?

Like, yeah. I mean, and I appreciate that he's in this movie for less than 10 minutes. And he doesn't do anything. No, I mean, it kills a bunch of, it makes it easier for them to escape. Well, for the kids to escape, sure. But what I like, and I don't know, you know, counter me on this, because I am making this up. Okay. But what I took from the last exchange, so, like, Gene sort of, like, grabs him and, like, chills him out.

And, you know, Cyclops is like, well, what did you do? And she's like, oh, I gave him back a piece of himself that I could find in there or whatever. because he like he chills out like there's a great Hugh Jackman like tear yeah and then he hilariously just runs off into the woods naked but what I gathered from that was that's sort of why he's like sort of inexplicably drawn to her in that first trilogy yeah that's it's a cool idea you know what I mean I mean it's it's it's just me pulling this out of my ass but that's like it for whatever reason that's immediately what I thought it sets that up you know what I mean like it's and thankfully they're not romantic in this movie because she's 12 and

he's a thousand you know what I mean like yeah but I just thought it was cool and then when he ran out of the movie I was like oh I'm pretty sure that's it yeah which is nice because then we we leave Alkalai Lake and nobody cares anymore yeah and that's sort of the end of it

and it's just a nice way to sort of address it I hate that in that second trailer it ends with the blade coming down I didn't that would have been a nice surprise like everywhere is already going to this movie. I mean, I guess it didn't make a ton, ton, ton of money. You know what I mean?

Like, that's the weird thing. It's like, in the new world, these X-Men movies don't make a ton of money. Like, they make okay money enough to keep making these movies, et cetera, et cetera. Well, because I feel like this is like, you know, looking back to the year 2000, and it's like, oh, yeah, we've had X-Men movies kind of the longest out of all of these. So it's kind of like the, oh, yeah, it's another X-Men movie. Even though this is like a new thing. Sure.

It's like, yeah, it's an X-Men movie. That's cool. You know, Robert Downey Jr. is not in it. But, you know, it's still cool. It's doing what's doing. I'm kind of curious about this. Do you think the move here would be for a soft reboot and you take singer out of the director's chair? Maybe get somebody else in there.

Would that spice things up a little bit? Is that a good idea or a terrible idea? Well, I think it's all contingent upon who you get to fill the shoes. I think Matthew Vaughn did a fine job in that first movie. He's kind of saddled with C Squad, which is not fun. You know what I mean? It's all those like X-Men and middle school kids. I mean, that sucked.

And like, I mean, because they were still not really sure how this franchise is going to go. Like, oh, do we just hard reboot and like whatever? Right. Well, no, then Cyclops is like, you know, a bait or isn't even born yet. You know what I mean? So like. Yeah. And now Singer is just like, yeah, it's the 80s and they're teenagers.

So shut up. It's so just shut. Yeah, it's fine. But like, that's what I'm saying. I like the cast. And I do like singer. I think he does a fine job with these. Actually, one of the cooler sequences of the movie is the first thing, the pyramid scene with the fucking the polar coming down.

I thought that was awesome. And, like, it was interesting because these trade screenings that you go to, if a movie is available in 3D, they fucking make you see it in 3D, which just totally sucks. Like, I did this same thing for Days of Future past. They make you sit through it in 3D. And this, I was like, all right, whatever. I really want to see the movie. I'll deal with it. And honestly, I don't know.

I mean, that opening sequence was pretty cool in 3D. All these, you're following these boulders. Very Indiana Jones feeling. Yeah, that's what I like, too. Like, the aesthetic changed a lot in this movie. Yeah. I think for the better, not even for the better, like, in a different way. Like, oh, cool, you can go to the desert.

You can do whatever. You don't have to always be in Canada looking like Canada, looking like Canada. Yeah, we're not always in the forest. I mean, this was all filmed in Canada no matter what. Like, let's not fuck around. You know what I mean? Like, the X-Files are two doors down. But we can spice up Canada a little bit.

We got a little bit of money here. Oh, sure. Yeah, no, I like that we're in like a hot location. I like that, like, they had to travel to go find this whole thing. But what I'm thinking about is, like, if you did a movie, if you, the next movie, whatever it is, if you get somebody different and give it a different, like, tone and whatever. but like maybe singers like doing producing stuff like that could be kind of fun yeah you just got to you got to watch that tone though because like i don't want the x-men movies to lose that like playfulness that they've always had in one way or another like i don't need a gritty x-men movie nope you know what i mean like and that's look at those superman movies man like yeah i'm not gonna get into it here not the place of the time but like i don't i just i would feel weird about that like no like the x-men have gone to dark places sure but like these movies have always had like a little sense of levity to them and yeah they're

playful and like yeah i i dig like there's humor even like when apocalypse is fucking around and like that actually to me awesome mind fight we get which is pretty awesome oh him and xavier yeah i thought that he grows and like he's you know he's beating up everybody it's fun and yeah Xavier gets to walk around he still got his cool hair why is it that in the mind palace he's still got hair yeah you know, it's just, if my mind palace, I'd be at 6-2, I think. It's kind of... So, all right. I guess to wrap up, we've got this 90s thing coming, but I think what's first is this like

Old Man Wolverine movie, which is like the Jackman's Swan song. Do you know anything? Is this based off of a story? It is. It's based on, I mean, and again, it's probably going to be more in name only than anything else. Sure. But, I mean, it actually has to be because of the rights of a lot of the characters that appear in it. Oh, is that right? It's basically, it's a story of, it's a story of Wolverine in a post-apocalyptic future. And, you know, he's on a lonely road, et cetera, et cetera.

Things come to light, not to spoil it. You know, the X-Men no longer exist. He's the last one. Uh-huh. There's a, there's, like, a bunch of inbred Hulk, like, Hulk and She-Hulk fuck and have, like, hillbilly kids, kind of hills have eyesy kind of stuff. Oh, what? I got to pick this up. Which is not, I mean, again, that's not going to happen.

Sure. Because the rights aren't there. But you're saying this isn't a comic book that I can purchase. Yes, it is. Read, yeah. Yeah, yeah. And it's okay. It's a little extreme for my taste. Oh, really?

Yeah, it's a bit extreme. But it's actually pretty okay. But it'll probably be that. It'll be like an old man Wolverine kind of doing stuff. Like, he's kind of like almost like a gunslinger kind of a thing. Uh-huh. If you got Clint Eastwood to do it, you'd be really somewhere. I don't want to see that.

Well, Clint Eastwood's obviously way too old to even do that. I got to do what? I got knives coming out of my knuckles. That's fucking stupid. Who's that blue lady? So of the summer movies, like the comic book movies right now, So, well, let's just say the comic book movies for 2016, the big, the temple. So you got Batman v. Superman, you got Deadpool, Civil War, this, and then we got Suicide Squad.

Oh, right. And I think that's, I think that's it. For the years, is there anything at the end of the year? Well, you got like Dr. Strange in November. Yes, that would be six. So those two, we can't count. But like, of what's been released, what's your order? Ooh, good question.

Tough question. That's what I'm known for on this show is tough questions. I got to go Civil War number one. I think it's the best of the movies. Deadpool 2. No, yeah, Deadpool 2. Wow. Even though, just because it does what it wants to do so much better than this movie does.

Okay, I can see that. And then this movie, but not like this movie's coming in last. I would probably give this movie like really, you know, in a five-star system, like a three-star. It's totally solid, totally fun. but I actually kind of imagine I'll rewatch this movie before I rewatch Civil War even though I think that Civil War does what it's

again does what it wants to do better I just kind of don't give a shit about the Winter Soldier and even that there's like 30 seconds of Wolverine I'm like yeah I'd watch that movie first I honestly would go this first so Apocalypse

then Civil War because yeah man I really don't care about the Winter Soldier and that's 60% of that movie. Absolutely. Then Deadpool. Yep.

Which I think had Deadpool a better villain with their purpose, I probably would honestly even flop Civil War and Deadpool. Okay. But like Civil Wars actually got a story, I thought. Yeah, yeah. Deadpool, it's funny. It's entertaining. Just I'm ready for Deadpool too. And then obviously BBS at the bottom.

Everybody knows that's not going to be anywhere near this. No, no, no, no, no. And I mean, you know, I don't care about. Suicide Squad. I'll tell you what, I'm kind of excited for Doctor Strange. It looks pretty cool. I can see, I'm curious what's even going to happen and like what that movie looks like. I hope they go really like guardians with it where it's really in its own established world. It doesn't have to look like everything else. Do its own thing. I kind of like that it's like, you know, there's two sets of worlds like crashing into each other. I don't know what the fuck that is.

You know what I mean? Like, I don't know. I mean, we'll find out at Thanksgiving. See you at Thanksgiving, Andrew. That's WHM. On. On screen talking X-Men Apocalypse. Until next time, I'm Andrew Jupin. Stevenson. Take it easy.