We Hate Movies - S7 Ep266: Episode 266 - Anaconda

Episode Date: September 20, 2016

On this week's episode, the gang decides to tackle one of the most infamous "bad" movies out there: Anaconda! How do you have a scroll with no narration outside of Star Wars? What's with that Danny Trejo suicide? And what in the world is Jon Voight doing with that accent? PLUS: Welcome to Slithers, the latest location in WHM's stable of fake drinking establishments! Anaconda stars Jennifer Lopez, Jon Voight, Ice Cube, Eric Stoltz, Kari Wuhrer, Owen Wilson, and the great Frank Welker as the snake noises or something; directed by Luis Llosa.Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Now on to today's program, one of the most infamous bad movies from the 90s, I feel. It's Anaconda. I'm Andrew Jupe and Stephen Sadek. Eric Sisko. And we hate movies. Hello, everyone, welcome to we hate movies on the side show network. Thank you for tuning in, as always. Now, this week, yeah, we know Chris Kavana still isn't here.

He's coming, okay? I think by spooktacular, he'll be haunting the studio yet again. That's right, but you're still stuck with just us three for a while talking about, The legendary, almost, I'd say. Anaconda from 1997, directed by Luiziosa. This movie is terrible fun. It's a lot of, you know, it makes me miss, it makes me miss big budget monster movies because we've all,

all of those have gone to sci-fi. But you're saying that this is a big budget monster movie? In air quotes, I mean, it's a major release. And you're saying sci-fi has big-budget monster movies? what I'm saying is those movies have moved to sci-fi and they'll all have gotten so winky and so like schlocked it's like why you even watch

it I can't watch these fucking shark nato movies that's why I need to watch this kind of movie where it's trying to be a real movie it's failing like this like Congo is like that this movie though and Congo to a lesser extent this movie knows

that it's stupid though Congo's like we're really fucking doing it yeah we are doing it with this is like Jurassic Park with tapes. Yeah. This is more like we're making a shitty Saturday a million dollar movie kind of a thing like throwback to those like bad

50s adventure jungle movies. And I want I want more of these movies to be quite honest. Not like directed TV sequels. I want like you know like get me, I don't know, Channing Tatum fighting a fucking, you know, I don't know a giant spider. He'd make it stupid as anything. Yep. He needs a spider Adam. I really agree. You know

what I think looks kind of cool and like listen I'll probably be proven wrong upon its release. But that kind of Skull Island? Sure. Did you see the preview for that? I did not even see the preview because I'm like, Kong Skung,

come on. That's what I was too, dude, but I just, I do that thing. You know, you do that thing. You get the internet wormhole

and just watching trailers. Yeah, yeah. I was doing that and I was like, oh, I didn't even know the trailer for this was out. Now, in this one,

what is it? Is it a giant skunk? No. It takes place in the 1970s. Oh, shit. And this like team of people led by Samuel L. Jackson goes to the island,

including one John Goodman. John Goodman. What? Actually, I think it might be led by John Goodman. I don't remember the trailer too well. But John Goodman's kind of like a shit heel in the movie. And they're stealing cocaine from who? That's the only reason to go to Skull Island.

There might be monsters, but there's probably a lot of cocaine. Well, because that's the thing. I don't think that we're making a movie. Like, we're going there for some other reason. I don't really remember what it is. Cocaine. Yeah, let me jump in. It's cocaine.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, cocaine. Go-co cocaine. But King Kong is enormous in this movie. apparently like his head is bigger than a helicopter which is different for me in my king cons yeah now it um he's a big guy but it's like sam jackson's like yelling at people the monster looks cool like i didn't like this dude's godzilla yeah uh oh is it is it the same gentleman it's the same directed from uh rogue one as well which looks pretty it might be the producers i don't think gareth edward's directed from the guys that brought you big fucking

monster. From the guys that brought you anaconda. Oh, no way. That's not happening. From the guys who brought you anaconda. No, that's definitely not happening. No, it's Jordan Vote Roberts, who's the director of it.

And that guy did. Oh, this movie called Kings of Summer, but I believe it's the producers of the Godzilla movie. From the guys that brought you Godzilla. And the 40-year-old virgin comes. Jesus Christ, that 40-year-old, old virgin guys.

Yeah, those guys are still forever. I think they're still doing that. Are we still getting mileage out of that? No, sausage party from the guys who brought you, this is the end.

Right. Anybody see that sausage party? No, that's right. Maybe I'll see you in a couple months. Yeah, you know what? I fucking saw a food fight already. Yeah. Thanks anyway.

So Jennifer Lopez Oh, right, Anaconda. Is a aspiring director who gets plucked out of film school by none other than Eric Stoltz. have sizzling sexual chemistry do they oh my god it's like dude it's like a wet rag

fucking a tired spun now I kind of want to see that is that in sausage party was that racist I don't know what you just said it's just too wet floppy things fucking it just sounded wrong yeah no well

it sounded wrong this the chemistry is wrong in this movie you're so bad oh that's your new Catchphrase for season 7. Please know. Too late. Sorry, dude.

We got like 40-some-odd episodes to go. If you see me in L.A. this week, kill me. Hey, Disca. So, but wait, I got to stop everything. I'm sorry. Because there's something in this movie that is, it's so criminally wrong when movies do it this way. You're starting with a scroll and it's a silent scroll. Yeah.

Where is James Earl? Where is anybody? Where is a ninja? Also, like, No, not a ninja scroll. I do not, you. I do not. That might come to Patreon one day.

Eric, you're so bad. I'm like a power glove. No, so it's a scroll telling you what a fucking anaconda is a, like, yes, I knew it was in the 90s before this movie came out. Not a lot of people knew what an anaconda is, but I'm not going to get lost in your giant snake movie, guys. Oh, as a zoologist, I have to say that the film Anaconda was. was responsible for really piquing interests about the big old girl. I had so many questions I had to field about anacondas when I gave tours of the snake house. I got three emails that week.

There's a lot of emails. It was like Grand Central Station in here. One was about my overdraft fee. Oh, that tickled me. So she's a... No, I'm sorry, but it's also like a... The bottom paragraph is facts about anacondas. The top part is like a...

From the dawn of civilization. Monsters. From the gods who brought you. Lockness comes Anacondas. It's just such a useless scroll and nobody's saying anything and it really bothered. And I don't... I mean, I saw this in theaters. I do not remember that scroll at all.

Yeah, I don't remember either. You went to the theater for Anacondon. I think I did, too. Wow. Oh, this was a grocery store rental for me. It was like, I think this is an August movie. Yeah, this is a hot summer night. Exactly.

We went out to the theater together. Yes, 20 years before we knew each other. So whatever. So, yeah, she's plucked out of film school to make basically like a, you know, National Geographic type thing. Our documentaries made this way, by the way. Let's get a bunch of people on a boat and just see what. what the fuck happens? Yeah, a lot of them, they just don't come out, right?

Yeah, everybody gets murdered. The problem is all these film people are just like, yeah, we're making a movie. And it never actually gets made, right? There's a lot of, like, you know, hot air getting blown. But, like, yeah, like, you're making nature documentaries like this. Sure. You just get down there with a crew.

But here's my thing, though, with talent, that the British guy shouldn't be on this boat, I feel. No. Oh, Jonathan Hyde from Jumanjee's the dad from Jumanji. Yeah, he's like, oh, hello, I'm doing about Peter O'Toole impression this entire movie. Yeah, and I don't know

if this is supposed to be like a David Attenborough The surrogate kind of thing He has dressed quite fancifully in this film But also like, I feel like once talent is involved It's like, okay, we're going to do the documentary first We're going to go all the way down We're going to do everything, get all the footage

And then we're going to fly this guy in for two days He's not going to get the boat And sleep on a boat Well, I guess it depends upon what kind of talent nature documentary you're trying to make If it's a thing where he's just narrating, fine But this dude is in front of the camera. He's a personality.

He's like the crocodile hunter. Can you imagine how boring crocodile hunter would have been if Steve Irwin was just like hanging back in front of a green screen? Yeah, I guess that's fair. You want that motherfucker frightened center on this adventure. So he is, we are looking for a lost tribe of such and such. We're not looking for anacondas. We don't care about anacondas.

It's like, the people of the mist. Yeah, yeah. It's something like some, you know, abandoned society or something. And Eric Stoltz is like a producer but also like a tribe hunter, I guess. or Hunter's Tribe Hunter. Eric Stoltz, Tribe Hunter. He's an explorer. Yes.

As it were. He's got an ascot. And Ice Cube is the cameraman. Oh, sure. A good Ice Cube in this movie. Ice Cube is very memorable in this film. And then you've got Owen Wilson and Carrie Wurr as like sound people and production people. Like, yeah, she's the producer.

He's the sound guy. They're fucking. He's in his haunting. Yep, I'm in this movie. I'm going to try and make it memorable sort of. before I get murdered. Like, you know he's dead the second you see him. Because he's the guy, he's kind of cracking jokes,

he's smoking weed at the beginning of the film. It's all there. The menu for him to be murdered has been set out. Did he audition for Twister? And I bet you he did. Sure. Oh, sure. Oh, yeah.

We're going to find you. Oh, hey. We're going to get in the suck zone, right, everybody? The suck zone. I'm auditioning for Dusty. Oh, no. I got it. Oh.

Is this like an old farmer you're doing? Oh, no, it's Owen Wilson. It's supposed to be Owen Wilson. Oh, hey. Because in this movie, he's still got his like, I'm born in Texas boys. Yeah. He hasn't quashed that quite. Hey, man.

You know, whatever that thing is. Whatever the fuck Owen Wilson's doing in this movie. So they get on a boat, run. Oh, actually, no, the first seat of this movie is Danny Trejo killing himself. Oh, right. Which is. Because, like, apparently, like, he's on this, like, boat and, like, I guess Andacondas are after him. Yeah.

And he just, like, like, quack. he like climbs up to the crow's nest and just blows his own brains out. Because you would rather that than the terror of being killed by a big snake. I guess that's the idea. This is the Steve Sadek story, right? Because you always say you're going to kill yourself in a horror movie at a certain point. And I was watching this this morning. And I was like, that's Steve.

I can't believe they cast Danny Trejo as Steve and Seda. That's the only time that would ever be accurate is Danny Trejo could play me as the time he kills themselves. in a cowardly way. Well, the height matches up. And the weight, but not distributed differently. Right. You know what's one of the biggest

history's mysteries for me? How is it that I can scroll like the bowels of Hulu horror or like Netflix pathetic horror section or whatever? And there's like no less than two or three Danny Trejo vehicles

flittering about. Oh, also action, right? the bad the badass trilogy yeah like all just all of those like they shouldn't exist direct streaming movies the schlocky winking you know it's danny trejo so he's gonna act like danny trejo yeah like i don't understand how danny trejo's a thing in that way i can't believe what's happened to this industry you know what i mean like the danny treo industry movies man it's like try and and fail on you know and denny trio's not a bad actor like i He's good in heat.

Just like setting yourself up to be a shit movie. It's just so annoying. But, I mean, I don't know. The other side of it is like everybody's got to eat. I'm just saying, like, put Danny Trejo in shit that's worthwhile. Like, Dan Trejo, while great, is not a dude who should be starring in his own vehicles. I mean, like, you know, the fun Robert Rodriguez thing, that's like a, they're just buddies. They're just going to do that anyway.

But, like, he doesn't need to be, like, I don't need a sub machete. You know what I mean? Like, machete is as low as it. That's what I'm talking about. The sub machetes. Why are we making sub machetes? So he kills himself. Oh, he's dead instantly, which is, you know what's actually admirable?

And I think it's because the cast is literally so small. Danny Trejo, for his 130 seconds on screen, he makes those opening credits. Oh, yeah. Danny Trejo's not the final credit. I haven't seen this since the 90s. And I was like, I was like, oh, wow, all right. Let's see what this is. Danny Trejo's in this movie.

I totally. No, he's not. Yeah, I totally. I got, too. Well, he's kind of like to Drew Barry more of this movie a little bit, right? He gets the call, and it's like the snake is coming from inside the boat. My boyfriend's going to be here any second, and he's big, and he's strong, and plays football, and he's going to kick your ass. What do you want from me?

Oh, no, my popcorn's burning. it, man. Tortuga burn the popcorn. Oh, man. Oh, Treyho. Yeah, so he's dead. That's like the start. That's our post scroll.

Also in this movie, do you guys notice this right when it's like title card anaconda and it like goes like it fades into like a shot of the river and whatnot?

There is a dead body just like in the corner of the frame there's like a dead guy hanging out. That's weird. No, I don't. think I saw that. Is this like one of those rumors like in the Wizard of Oz? They were like like, hey, a little person hung himself

in the background. And they kept filming for some reason. No, we can't get this shot. Keep it rolling. It's not that. It's just like, because it's like a sign. Like early on like, oh, the snake's about. There's just like a dead body and the camera like instantly moves away from it. It doesn't

pay attention to it at all. It's like a blink and you miss it. So here's the thing. Yeah. Danny Trejo John Void, who will get to, and Mateo, who is the boat driver in this movie. Right. Also known as a captain. A boat driver.

He's a boat driver. Mateo, I'm your boat driver. Uber for boats. Boober. That's terrible. I like it. No, I like it. We got to start boober, dude. There's plenty of dockside communities we can service.

Copyright, we hate movies, Boobber. Oh, no, it's not pornography? We're going to set up shop in Venice and kill those, kill those, like, what are the, one of those guys with the sticks? The Knights Templar? Them too, but I meant the, the boats. Oh, the gondola? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We're going to take those over with Boobber once Boobber starts hitting the canals.

Oh, it's not the United Jones in the Last Crusade, who I just think are just rotten in Venice. They get not bump into the night's template. I guarantee you that they are there. So they're all part of. an anaconda hunting team or a snake hunting team and basically John Void after Danny Trejo's tragic death plans this

He plans a long con which makes no sense Not in the slightest I mean this is like reveal later in the movie but who cares Is that basically he's going to pretend That his boat broke down Mateo is going to pretend he doesn't know him Let John Voight on this boat

And then he's going to Now they've got a crew of snake hunters against their will, like, just hijack a boat or buy a boat. I don't know, man. How fucking, how expected could that boat be? The presumption that these people are going to help you. Like, it's just as if, like, it's as if Robert Shaw, uh, uh, kidnapped Richard Dreyfus and made him go hunt that shark with him. No.

Like, what are you talking about? Just, you're right, just steal a boat. And then you guys go hunt a fucking snake. I don't need, don't bring Owen Wilson and. Jennifer Lopez on this adventure. Certainly not. Neither of them are going to be helpful. So Jennifer Lopez and Eric Stoltz have no chemistry but are engaged in a sexual relationship.

Oh, I thought you were about to say they were engaged to be married. And I was like, where did I miss that detail from? They're just fucking around. Yeah. So Eric Stolt stars an out of his league. Jennifer Lopez actually, this is like probably one of her first vehicles aside from Selena. And I don't know which one came out first. The Salina

Selina did I think this was either the same year or the previous year from out of sight which was like the big thing I think Jennifer Lopez is a pretty good actress She's never been a great actress And she's never grown

I never saw angel eyes I saw angel eyes in the theaters You fall asleep and die Because it's those boring movie That ever happened It sucks so hard I don't even know if it's an episode That movie's just terrible

Me and my brother watched that movie once because we thought it was about ghosts, and we kept expecting ghosts to show up. That's why I went. That poster looked like there was a ghost on. Turned out the theater was a ghost town. But I think she's, like, people,

I guess she's got a rep as being a bad actress, which is not accurate to me. She's really good and out of sight. She's great at sight. I can confirm from the Tribune, that was 98. She's not good in Money Train, but I mean, that movie's, that's not really much of a role.

I don't think she's great. Yeah, I don't know. I think she's a good actress. I don't think she's got a great screen presence. Okay. That's just fair. That's fair. I liked her doing voice work in ants.

Oh, right. Is that the Woody Allen one? Yeah. It's being too much to Stallone with ants. Oh, we're just ants in this movie. Isn't it crazy? My aunt's got glasses. Of course it does.

Whatever. So, at least you gotta be. Oh, no. I've been turned. to do a bee and Jerry Seinfeld B. You know what's crazy in this movie?

Who are these ants? Man, ants versus B movie. Yes. That needs to happen. Sure. Let's make it work. There's a really,

the effects in this movie are terrible. Yes. But not just like the snake effects. There's a moment earlier on in the movie where it's like, oh, things might be getting dangerous.

So they pick up John Void. Oh, no, my bow broke down. It's me, Jean Void in his movie. No, ho, huh, I'm playing at Peruvian or a Panamanian or something. It's horseshit and this accent should go to jail. If anyone should be jailed for an accent, it's John Void. It is insane. It does sound more like Cajun, I guess, but like what are we doing?

Everybody's talking at me. Going to jail for doing a bad accent. it's so awful he's got a ponytail oh the greasiest oh i kind of like that it's a grease tail he's got like a perma scowl on his face he's just like err he's got a bad fake scar it's like he found alpuccino's tony montana character in the garbage right after it had a stroke it's dusted off it's all right it's still good it's still good let's can use this exactly about 20 years later a snake movie got it the effects though I wanted to point this out because there's another thing I'll

mention later that it confounds me how they made this mistake but earlier so he gets on the boat and it's like oh is John Void a bad guy or not how's the movie going to tell us there's a moment where lightning flashes like right after it is the worst looking lightning dude there was more believable lightning in Todd Browning's Dracula 1931 better lightning than this movie Oh shit This movie looks like fucking shit Oh no my bum broke down

And boober isn't invented yet I gotta get across the rainbow I wish I could pay for a boobr I pay for it with some gumbo I made Oh you hear that the night's templar shut down boobo They got boobo push right out of Venice We lost everyone for this episode The rest of it's just for us

No, he didn't. Someone's making a boober t-shirt right now, FYI. So, please don't. I know the accent's terrible, but this is life. Please submit to the Patreon. No, so he's like, oh, I just need to get across there. And I'm just like, sure, brunny. Come on in.

Come on, yeah, sure. Just what a fucking idiot. And he's like, well, guys, I mean, how do you think we got this guy here. I think he lives in the jungle. I mean, how are we going to find this lost tribe without him at this point? And Ice Cube is like, yo, you know, we can get Michael J. Fox to replace him, right? Yeah, that happened once before. It could happen again. Can you imagine if he got dumped from Anacostal? Could you imagine Michael J. Fox making out of J. Lo?

Oh, my God. How many stool would you need? Yeah, a couple apple crates. Are we stranded downriver right now? they're about to be stranded down river so it's like we're going on this adventure Eric Stilts is convinced that this dude is going to help him find this tribe and it's going to be like we're all going to make millions guys

it's going to be great and pretty soon the propeller jams up and Eric Stolt's like well I got it and he jumps into the river and some sort of a moth goes in his like what the fuck is this yeah it is a

like a wasp, they say. So he like swallows it? This is why you would never get me to the jungle, by the way. You want to talk about Danny Trao killing himself with this? Maybe that would be like, hey, Steve, you have to go to the jungle. Goblam. Because it's gross and everything. There's all sorts of bugs.

Oh, the bugs. The bugs. I couldn't do it. But this bug, this hornet or wasp or whatever it is, this poisonous wasp wasp was in his like scuba gear. Poisonous wasp. I just think of some way. Oh, hey, Muffy.

We're going to go down to the jungle, Maffy. Oh, poisonous wasp, babe. I'm going to put some strychnine in his cocktail. I'm a poisonous waltz. I know it's... This is like the worst Batman villain of all times. I'm the poisonous wasp back on. I was going to say it's a forgettable SCTV sketch.

Yes. Same diff. Season 3, Gotham. Eric Stoltz as the Poisonousous Fawkes. Oh, hey, guys, I'm the poisonous was. Buzz. Hey, Bruce Wayne, are you grown up yet? Okay, though.

No one will still keep watching this show, but they'll come back. Isn't it weird that it's like all these villains and there's no Batman? Yeah. Like, what is even going on? Like, how have they not taken over the town? How? Who watch? I mean, like, I know a lot of people and I never hear anyone say, you know, it's a good show?

Gotham. I've never heard it. I've never heard it once. I watched the first three episodes. I fucking promptly tuned out. after two and a half I don't know I think our colleague Chris Cabin watched

the first season he said he said it was shitty speaking of shitty anaconda so he gets he's scuba diving to untie this boat and he does and then starts like fidgeting and freaking out and they pull him up

and you as the movie watcher have no idea what's happening because he's not getting attacked by an anaconda and it's like that's what I rented this for that's what I'm in the theater for He just starts in the air conditioning.

Well, yeah, of course. He just starts, like, convulsing. And they get him up. And it's like, oh, what's in his mouth? And it's like this wasp. And Mateo or somebody's like, oh, that wasp is poisonous. Mateo's like, I don't know where that wasc came from, but I'm pretty sure it's poisonous. And so they're like, oh, Mateo.

Oh, Mateo, shame on you. But then for the rest of this movie, for the most part, Eric Stoltz has taken a nap. John Voight does like the emergency tracheotomy. Oh, that's pretty cool. That is disturbing. Listen, there's like a medical emergency happening, but you're letting, like, the whack-a-do you picked up on a fucking shipwrecked boat. Yeah.

Do throat surgery? Yeah, okay. What movie was that? The Heat or something where someone does the emergency tracheotamine? I mean, it goes horribly wrong. Oh, I don't know. It starts bleeding. In heat that happens?

I was referring to the Sandra Bullock film. Oh, the Heat. Oh, I saw that movie, but I don't remember that. I don't remember. It's in something, though. What, just blood starts shooting everywhere? Exactly, because I can't imagine that ever going well. No, of course, you don't just let me die.

Don't just start grabbing it at my throat to make something happen. Don't start stabbing me while I'm dying. Yeah, exactly. You know, oh, he's having a problem. I want Joe Slub cutting me open with a pen. That guy with that mysterious shitty accent. Oh, get out of the way, people. I saw a lot of episodes of Doctor House.

Yeah, no thanks. But they do that. They stick a straw on his throat. throat and he takes a nap for the rest of this movie. It's amazing the check you must have got for this movie because everyone's like, hey, Eric Stoltzio, there's a lot of exciting stuff happening outside of your cabin. You okay?

Just checking in. We're having a crazy time with that drifter you picked up. You're still breathing? Okay, great. Back to the movie now. Bye. You want me to change your videos? Put some on some different videos for you. We brought the entire series of

MASH on VHS. That ought to keep you busy. So, yeah, it's just I guess, I don't know, it's slowly just like John Voight takes over the boat pretty much. One thing that's really important, my favorite scene in the movie, because like, they have to get to the anaconda. The anaconda is just not in the jungle. It's a secret part

of the jungle that no one could have refined except for John Void because he's a genius. But they keep cutting back to the anaconda just kind of waiting for them. And one of the times he's exciting himself by killing a Puma? Oh, dude, this Puma murder? And the Puma is like, what the fuck?

The Puma is more surprised than any cat is ever been. This poor Puma puppet, I just can't, this thing's getting strangled. And this already in this movie, you see the magical dance, the tete-tot-tet between the Anaconda Puppet and

the Anaconda Computer Animation. Boy, we are vying for which looks shittier in this movie. I kind of like the puppet a lot. The father's like, hey, how's it going? The puppet's great. The puppet's real. It's tangible. He's saying hi. He's poking his nose through doors. This computer

thing is it's oh my god it's not there man oh not there like Sega 16 looking fucking snake a Sega CD you mean oh no I was what's the what was that little red console like really early Sega oh just regular Sega was it just Sega yeah yeah Lord okay it's like that bad what if someone comes to you and says deep in the jungle there is an animal that looks like it's out of a video game looks like it's from Sega uh-huh You'd be, you'd want to go find it. Sure. That's why you'd want to find it, right?

Just because it's... Maybe this anaconda's special because of that. Oh, that could be. It looks like a shitty video. I know an anaconda out there that has such low-rent graphics. You'd barely believe it's alive, Montfrey. You got to really stare at that thing before you realize, oh, mona me, it is indeed an anaconda. Is that a mudslide?

No. Unless he's a puppet. then it kind of looks adorable. That anaconda is just like, it fucking blasts its head through a door and it's like, well, hey, everybody, how's it going? What's everybody doing in this movie? I'm the anaconda.

I'm the titular anaconda. I'm Annie the Anaconda. Hi. And then, meanwhile, like, Ice Cube's accident and he's like, hey, take it easy. Annie Antaconda didn't want to bring this on himself. Did somebody have trouble spelling something? Oh, no. Oh, getting shot.

the face by Jennifer Lopez. It'd be a better movie. It just talked for some reason. Yeah. Like, you're definitely going down river to find a fucking talking snake. A talking snake that looks like a video game. Oh, yeah.

Back to Doritos, man. So, at this point, like, so Eric Stoltz goes down. They're like, oh, what are we going to do? And John voice, like, I have a shortcut you can take. It goes through anaconda country, though. And you're like, yeah, I know

what you're doing. You pink shirted fuck. There's a totem pole with snakes on it and shit. And there's like this obviously clearly manmade and it took a while wall

like built up to not go down this river. Yes. We just need to blow it up and we get him to the hospital. It's like, oh, so much quicker than the other way. You'll be eating pancakes in no time.

It's like with the promise of pancakes, they go to. I don't think pancakes are mentioned, but I just imagine. No, but it's just that idea of like, we'll be back to civilization. My favorite part is that they go through this wall and they're like, oh, how are we going to get past this wall?

And then, like, he's like, I have an idea. And he pulls out dynamite and Owen Wilson has my favorite dumbest line in the movie. Yes. Is that real dynamite? It's like, that's as dumb as, hey, is that thing loaded? Yeah, it's like, is that real dynamite? Don't let the Acme brand fool you, my friend.

I bought it from a coyote. I get a roadrunner, I get anaconda, I get a promiscuous bunny rabbit. I took a rapy skunk. He kept telling me, this dog I saw will tell me you're not ducks his own. It was duck season. Oh no, I ran past a wet white fence and the white street got on my back and this squirrel tried, this scum tried to rape me for an episode. But then I was the water boy for the monsters.

They were playing the basketball. I was back in the forest and I accidentally shot a mildly retarded hunter in the face. Oh man, this is the guy that brought down Elmer Fudd. Yeah, he took him right the fuck down. He stuffed him too. I have to go hide in the jungle. They were hunting me for the murder of one Elmer Fudd.

I'm going to say, I'm going to use this ridiculous accent so no one can ever find out my real identity. Because it don't make no sense. Am I from Paraguay? Am I from France? We will never know. Nobody know. Where the fuck John Voitz from?

Hey, isn't it weird that Angelina Jolie is so good-looking and I'm so ugly? Isn't that a strange thing? Is this John Void's stand-up? I could go for that. What's the deal with that time? I was in Tomb Raider with her.

It was like we were repairing our relationship, but now she still don't want to see me no more. Isn't it a weird I kind of look like Mickey Rooney in that Twilight's own episode where he becomes real big? I mean he kind of does.

Oh yeah. This guy's a nightmare. So he blows up this thing. Now here's a question I have again just like the laziness of making this movie. And forgive me, I have almost no knowledge

outside of Looney Tunes. We've noticed. About dynamite. Oh, okay. So Owen Wilson decides he's going to help John Void. John Voight like sells him on this whole thing. He's like, hey, man, millions of dollars, if you help me get this snake on film.

Because, like, yeah, as this is going along, like, Owen Wilson is just like, I guess I'll be in this movie. You know what I mean? Like, he's like, well, I'm either the guy that gets killed because I'm not in on it or I'm the guy that gets killed because I'm in on it. I'd rather be in on it. Yeah, it's more fun for me to take a villainous turn in this movie. Sure. So he's helping him out, but I'm noticing, like, they're in the water and they're walking up to this wall and whatnot to blow it. Owen Wilson totally

submerges the dynamite dunks it pretty good yeah I don't know it's like well is that going to work now like can you get dynamite wet but I feel like there's probably some dynamite you can get wet and John Void being a river rat

probably has the wet oh you can get it wet more than me I call a buber they sell me wet dynamite that's not all that got wet oh lord so um

boober is the dumbest joke we've ever made just want to be really It is not. I don't know. A lot of jokes over the years. And so far, I'll tell you this, the dumbest joke is season seven. Second episode in. Great track record.

So, like, basically, yeah, I mean, John Void is starting a mutiny. So, he gets, actually, he gets Owen Wilson's favor because he saves his life. Him and Carrie were. Oh, right. They, like, they're stopped for a minute. They're trying to refuel or something. He's like, hey, you know it would be awesome. You know what would be awesome?

Let's have sex in this really gross jungle where there's fucking parasites and leeches all over the place. The only thing you're doing in the jungle at best is dry humping. I'm wearing all of the clothes. Dude, listen, in the jungle, the mosquitoes should be the only one doing the sucking.

Okay? It's disgusting. Why on earth would you engage in sexual intercourse in the jungle like this? You have no idea where you are. It's the middle of the night. Eric Stoltz is dying. 20 minutes away.

What if one of those hornets came out and got your dick? Yeah. Or like bitty on the ass or something. John Voight tells the stories like, oh, there's a thousand ways you could die in the jungle. It's also the name of a book I'm publishing later. But like Eric still says his cabin.

He's just sleeping in. You know, he's like passed out. Just fucking there. Yeah. Fuck next to him. Get the mosquito tent out and let's get down to business. That's the only way I'm doing it.

The old first year in college, a rude roommate situation. Hey, Dave, you asleep? Dave, Dave, Dave, Dave, Dave, it's good, let's go. Or, you know, you're in the jungle, full body condoms, like in that naked gun sequence. Just head to toe and rubber. The audience can tell, but I'm nodding my head furiously right now because that sounds about right to me. Yeah.

So, like, it's amazing because he's like, oh, yeah, this fucking's going pretty well. I'm going to get late soon. Hey, what's that noise? Oh, no, a huge pig. There's, like, this massive warthog that's, like, running at them. And John Voight jumps in and murders this thing. He fucking kills Pumba right there, man. Oh, man, Akuna Madeda.

Oh, you did it. You beat Pover with a Kuna Madder. Oh, wow, John Voie. You took out that, you took out that bore from the movie, sort of like they took out my scenes in Rushmore. They had all sorts of plans for that bore. I didn't see it coming. I wrote the Dern movie.

fucking excised from his own movie man um you think wiss anderson's ever seen this movie anaconda yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah big time yeah yeah he saw anaconda he thinks it's great too yeah it's okay it's a little brown for my tastes there is a gross filter on this movie yeah it's it's very brown uh so he saves his life he blows he blows his warth wardhog's brains out and at this point like Jennifer Lopez and Ice Cube keep doing the same thing when they keep giving each other looks like

oh man this guy sucks what or what my idiot boyfriend picked this guy up this is embarrassing so they blow the thing they go past it they're on the river

at this point um so Carrie Ware is Owen Wilson's girlfriend Owen Wilson has already pledged allegiance to the dark hand of John Void and everyone's like

oh that's kind of you know there's this weird split faction And John Voitz, like, we're going to go on the way to save your boyfriend. We're going to get a snake. We're going to be millionaires. And it's like, okay. And, like, he's like, he shoots a monkey in the head.

And, like, Kerry Werner is like, ew. And I'm like, no, no, no, no, no. If you see a monkey get shot in the head, you're like, what the fuck is wrong with you? What is, I'm trying to remember. I just watched this last night. But what is the circumstances in which he's murdering this monkey? For bait. You need bait for an anaconda.

Right. What the fuck with that? before you just shot. What's going on with that? I think maybe they're eating that. That's good eats, right? I guess so, but that means they're like pulling over again to make like a fire.

Yes. To cook it. And then meanwhile, like Eric still's like, I don't want to be a nag here, but I'm dead. I'm in this lazily written coma. Yeah, I don't mean to be a dick, but maybe we could move along a little bit. So he kills this monkey

And then at this point It becomes very clear that John Void is evil And that Owen Wilson has aligned himself He even pulls out a gun Own Wilson pulls a gun on the rest of the crew He's like, sorry man I don't know It's kind of it

It's also wearing a good day mate T-shirt this entire movie Which really sucks He gets in the idea I guess one of the reasons he Quote unquote turns to the dark side Is like He's like

Well the documentary He's over. We might as well make another movie of, you know, just film this guy, taking out that snake. It's a different kind of movie. It's, can sell it to YouTube, I guess.

Well, it's like that it's totally unfounded, like, snake plus footage e. Fortune. Yeah. The money. Yeah. It's like, it's like, speaking of fucking Skull Island,

it's like a shittier plan King Kong. You heard this giant fucking snakes here. Let's bring it back to, it's either going to go on a road show Or scientists are going to study it and kill it, like one of the other. Yeah, and you know who's going to be able to do it? Is this guy that's like Jake the Snake when he had all the drugs? Before he started doing yoga and got clean, that Jake the Snake is going to catch this thing.

And doing stand-up comedy, by the way. Is Jake the Snake doing stand-up comedy? He's doing stand-up. I don't even know who's Jake the Snake is. The Rassler. The Rassler, dude, came out with a big old snake on his arm, had a horrible drug problem that crippled most of his life. It sounds great. He did that documentary.

It was behind the mat or under, what's it? Was he on Beyond the Matt? Beyond the mat. Yeah, because that's the one where it's famously, they're doing an interview, and they're like, they cut to black and they're like, during this time Jake the Snake is doing crack cocaine. Oh, right. And it keeps that.

It's like him just talking like about wrestling and it's like, cut to black, he did more cocaine. Cut to black, he's doing more cocaine. There's another doc, though, about him getting his life on track, like through yoga or whatever. But no, the only reason is we were, again, And by the way, patreon.com slash we hate movies. We're getting a call

from this dude on Twitter who was saying that we'd love you to come to Pittsburgh. Pittsburgh's a great city. Here's some clubs you can go to. And he sent this thing, he or she, I don't remember. Sent this thing that was like, by the way, if he can play here, you guys got to come to Pittsburgh. And it's fucking Jake the Snake playing a comedy club.

Oh, wow. Yeah. What's the deal with leg drops anymore? We got to get on that bill with Jake the Snake. We've got to go and tour with him. Yeah, it'd be great. Great. Well, our fat ass is doing yoga with him now, though. See, the problem is he turned his life around already. We're not there yet. Yeah, this Patreon shakes out.

You guys are a bad influence on me. You guys got Jake the snake off the wagon. Oh, that would be a bad rep for us. Totally. A bad look for We Hate Movies. So, basically, what's going on? We're going down the river now. Everybody knows that he's evil. Yeah, they blew the, they blew the, the, the, the,

snake barge and snakes reigned upon us. Oh, that's all my favorite John Voight line of all time. Oh, is that right? All these snakes around is like, they're babies, they're just babies. Come on, babies. Go back to your mother. And there's like enormous snakes. He's just like shoeing them away. What is this dude's

what? No, like, he says go on babies back to your mother at least two times. I'll be honest with you. What is his deal with snakes? Like, what is this guy? I don't know. He's just like, I just love to snakes. Do you think it's like a Troy McClure thing, but with Snake. Oh, that could be.

I bet. He probably puts like a little helmet on them and shoves them up somewhere. Oh, now you cannot bite me, Snake. The more you struggle, the more I have pleasure. God, almighty. You know it's happened.

I do know it's happened. Let's start the rumor for John Wood. If people could, if that Richard Gear rumor could persist. Yeah, the hamster. Well, let's start John Voit with Snakes. So they've come across

Danny Trejo's haunted boat, right? Oh, right. This is where Viteo gets it. His ghosts, hang of it. I'm a ghost pirate now. Hi, everybody. Oh, you're just a baby ghost. Go get back to your god.

Come on, baby, goz. Get out of you, baby, ghost. Get out. We're forgetting, though, in this hilarious thing about all the babies on the boat, all of my babies. The dad from Jewish. Mungi is like, what's going on out here? And this little baby snake gets on his fucking finger.

Oh, yeah. Oh, she's so small, but so deadly. And, like, John Void is looking at this thing with, like, fuck eyes. And this dude is like, get this monster off my finger. And he's like, oh, look at it. Yeah, it's just a little baby. Oh, it packs a big bite. And he, like, peels this little snake puppet off this actor's finger.

It's adorable. I'll be honest with you. It looks pretty cute. It's like those tiny dinosaurs at the beginning of the lost world. Yes, exactly. You just want to take one of them little cuddly little things home.

Oh, sure. So Danny Trejo's a haunted boat where he committed suicide. Now he's like a ring ghost on the boat. That's a better movie. Dude, Danny Trejo crawled out of the boat's radio and started chasing them.

It sounds accurate, right? As far as, you know, what you could come out of a boat to if you were a ring ghost? Yeah, yeah, you know. You know, they can be. maybe communicate with the other side to get like the forces of the

of the dead to battle snakes for them yeah dude a little white noise situation see what's going on there ghost v anaconda i feel like ghosts have the edge i would love to see ghosts take a big snake jesus christ how the fuck do we not have a full time job at the sci-fi channel that's it right we just wrote a whole movie

ghost versus snakes everyone would watch you would not like if you saw that like let's say you you walked by a poster of a like A ghost wrestling slash riding as giant snake. You're watching that movie. Dude, there are so many ironic college freshmen out there that would watch that movie. Are you kidding me?

And then you get the guy who played Scott from 902 and O'Coh, because Steve's already busy. I think Brian Austin Green's done one, too. I think it's like we're trying to have them all in there. Luke Perry has too much dignity, so he won't do that. Which is weird to say, but it's true. Never thought I'd say that about Luke Perry? No, he's great. he's great um so they on this boat the only thing like um uh john boy hides a newspaper clipping

oh it's it's a news it was like it was the it was back in the better days like denny trejo was so proud of it's kind of cute it's really sweet it's like him matteo deny trejo like on in better days it's like it's like the amazon river community newsletter like these three guys caught the biggest snake out in the jungle this week and they're like look how How big! And everyone's smiling for the picture. You know, that was going to go, like, Danny Trejo, he's going to get one more snake. He was going to open a bar that was going to go right above the bar, like Sam Malone's old, like, Red Sox material.

Oh, all his old baseball is pitching paraphernalia? It's called Slithers. Danny Trejo's bar called Slither. I like it. Welcome to Slithers. The bathroom is not clean. I mean, also, I guess you can't really have a bar that is not a place of prostitution. if you're calling it Slithers.

But I think you're okay. No, you can get away with Slith. Listen, you've got to be really clear about it. You can't name a wholesome bar the titty twister without prostitution happening. Yes, no, absolutely not. We want to talk about, you know, bars that Danny Trejo could haunt. But Slithers, by the way, you get venom shots. Like, this is a place you could make.

Dude, you could even, for fans of Parks and Rec, you can make the snake juice. You could the nice reference there. There's an alternate name. I don't know if it would work. scale I like it I like that yeah it's

more conceptual that's who Danny Trejo opened like a three Michelin star restaurant yes with like beautiful

snake dishes exactly dude total all sorts of weird experimental snakes sort of like the Indiana Jones Temple of Doom menu

oh yeah you're getting some snake brains dude monkey brains well that's just bait for our snake dishes

We use monkey brains to lure snakes You're eating our bait, actually Man, that monkey gets fucking assassinated in this movie All snakes are responsibly sourced by Using monkeys as bait in the Amazon jungle That's on the menu Oh man, yeah, I can see it now to scale You bet he killed himself like a coward

You could have two successful businesses Yeah, a nice bar You can take a boober from Slyther to scale, because they'd both be on the river for sure. Oh, they have to be on the water, without question. These are waterfront establishment. To scale, you could pick your snake. It's in an aquarium.

Before you get seen it at the table. Yeah, they just pulled it out of the water this morning. Oh, man. All awesome. Except then there's really nothing that is discovered on this boat, except what is the crate? The crate has a bunch of snake traps in it, I believe, and like snake hunting gear that he gets. Oh, right. Why doesn't...

Everybody knows... Everybody knows that the Void's mission is to hunt the snake, but he's being like, he's being coy about what's in this thing. Like, just be like, hey, it's a bunch of gear to hunt the snake. Yeah, I don't know. So him, Mateo, and Ice Cube go, and Ice Cube helps him with this crate for no... Ice Cube's not help anybody with anything.

Yeah, no, he's benefit directly Ice Cube. Exactly right. Ice Cube's character is great in this movie. Could have been flushed out a little more. Yeah, I want a little more. 98% of the rest of the stuff in this movie. So he moves on their way back

Mateo gets killed by the Anaconda. I think this is the first time. It's the first human kill. Yes. Yes. And of course it's Mateo, by the way. It's a computer snake, the way you get killed by an Anaconda

is a computer snake wraps around you, then a puppet snake's on you. And then you'll see a puppet snake's face and then like it kind of computer eats you for a while. Now, I don't know if this is true, but on the Tribune, they're reporting that the

CGI in this movie for the snake cost $100,000 per second of screen time. What? Man, those nerds really just took everyone to the cleaners. Yeah, that's insane. It's all computer magic to everyone else so that it's like, man, millions of dollars, please.

Yeah, like, don't tell me that this was the best you could do. No, it's definitely not the best. Live entertainment. Don't tell me. that live entertainment. This is like, we got a, oh, shit, that movie's coming out. We got a weekend to do it. Weekend for all the effects.

Oh, fuck. We forgot about that snake movie. Yeah, that we charged them $100,000 a second. Yeah, we've been working on it for a year. Yeah. Yeah, hundreds of thousand dollars. That sounds right. It just looks like shit, man.

So Mateo's done. But, and like, Jennifer Lopez, again, like, it doesn't make sense. She's like, oh, we need to find Mateo. what's going to happen with Mateo? We have to stay here overnight. I think Mateo is going to come back and I'm like, what the fuck are we talking about? She rapidly loses her mind in this movie. Yeah, I don't get her character.

This is like, John Voight, this is where he actually, this is where he gives the big monologue about like, we're going to be rich. And this is where Owen Wilson turns. Okay, right. Everybody knows that now there's a coup on the boat. There's a coup on the boat and this giant anaconda is after them.

Yes. And there's a hilarious cut to like the aftermath of the argument that everybody's had and everybody's kind of just like hanging out on the boat Kerry Warr's like made it clear she's very upset with Owen Wilson and there's just like Owen Wilson there's a shot of him like walking

holding a rifle like playing security like playing boat security it's just like someone should have just taken him out immediately I mean Ice Cube versus Owen Wilson with a gun Ice Cube wins every time only one of those people could play Triple X

and Ice Cube happened to be that guy Wow. Triple X, man. Those movies are terrible. Dude, they're making a new one. I saw the trailer. Vin is back, man. Vin is back, baby.

Dude, Vin Diesel riding a motorcycle underwater. I think it's like a triple X team is going on now. Mm-hmm. Okay. That's the way these things work. When we're out of ideas for like the one character to do something. Yeah. We're going to have a big stupid team.

And also you can only afford the one guy for like a day and a half. The return of Xander. and three other people you haven't met yet. Three people from sci-fi movies you probably haven't watched. Man, I got zero interest in that, huh?

No, absolutely not. Those might be episodes, though. Maybe. I saw the first one. I didn't see Ice Cubes one. I'm sure they're all trash. Come on. I want to know what happened to Ice Cube's character, though. They're killing them off?

Now, maybe he's coming back. Maybe he's like the guy behind the desk. Maybe he's riding the desk. Man, after State of the Union, he's riding a desk for some reason? That's unfortunate. Maybe he's one of the guys that brought you the 40-year-old version. That's who he plays. So we're having this big discussion about, like, what we're going to do.

We can't believe this is happening. It's ridiculous. And then there's, like, another snake attack. Oh, right. Who gets it here? Well, I don't know that anybody gets it here, but this is hilariously where the snake comes up and he's like, hey, everybody, I'm a snake. And he spits the monkey corpse at the in. English guy?

Well, yeah, because they're like, oh, this enormous snake is going to want a small dead monkey. And he's like, fuck you, man. I mean, people. I just say Mateo. Now we're under full snake threat. And like the snake busts through like the window of the boat to like get a jailo but doesn't, but like stops. This snake belongs in the rainforest cafe.

He like comes out of like, I'm going to take you to your table. Here's a brand basket while you wait. Would you like to hear about our special? Isn't it gross how this restaurant is misty for some reason? Yeah, you know what I want to eat dinner in? A fucking cloud of fake bog, okay? Yikes. Oh, Rainforest Cafe, what a bad idea.

So, at this point, the weird thing about this, so shouldn't that snake be digesting Mateo for like four days? Yes. You know what I mean? Like, the snake would not keep following and killing them. Ah, ha, ha, ha. Oh, all right. Here's the thing.

What? Dudes, why do you think I was pushing that scroll so hard? The last part of that scroll tells us that anacondas are not like other snakes where they just like eat and it's like cool at it like sit in me for a little bit. These motherfuckers eat something and then they regurgitate it only to go on to continue eating things. Oh, like a wealthy Roman citizen. Exactly right. Using the vomatorium. Exactly right.

Right. So, like, Mateo, dude, he's fucking just puked somewhere in this river. Oh, that's unfortunate for Mateo. Oh, yeah, dude. He's not, but now, Mateo is fish food for other little creatures in the river. And the circle of life continues. That's what Elton John was singing about. And that is the, we commit to the honor of that here at Tuscal. You get in that room and you throw up at to scale. I mean, the thing is, though, like, you keep thinking about what could have been for those three guys and where it all goes wrong.

That's true. One shining moment when they had that snake. These are all for... Happy days are yours and mine. They're going back, they're having some cervases, you know what I mean? Yes, dude. Everyone's getting laid that night. I would love that, that mini movie first.

Dude, an An Anaconda prequel, the Golden Days of the Snake Boys. Yes. The Golden Days of the Snake Boys. Just call it that. It starts when they're all 14 years old. Yeah, they have an adventure on train tracks. I'm having my sexual awakening. by fucking this snake

oh mattho i think i got that go pregnant whatever is that you oh no it's a snake so like i don't know man like well so here's another great moment in the movie

the death of owen wilson oh yeah he gets it this snake bites him in the face because the snake is attacking the whole barge at this point in this like disney ride attack. Yeah, it is. It breaks his nose back into place. Oh, man. Totally. Oh, wow. You fixed it.

Oh, no, don't eat me. But it's like bite in the face, like gets him, wraps him around and whatever. Like, face snake, he's eaten. And this is like, this is like my favorite moment of the movie. Oh, yeah? The snake's like, all right, everybody, got to go take a shit. I'll harass you later. And you see the under water shot of this fucking computer swimming away and this cartoon character its belly has the face of Owen Wilson stuck in the side

of it. Yeah. Hey guys, this is not funny. Hey, get me out of here, Wes Anderson. Save me from Anaconda. I'm in a tight spot. Steve Zisu. Where are you? RIP, that character.

Oh, yeah. Spoiler alert. so we get to like a real all is lost like desperate moment because Carrie Warer is like inconsolable because her boyfriend who happened to be evil and a dick anyway was killed by a snake which is well you know Steve love yeah the thing about love Steve is that it it forgives so much yeah especially when love has been eaten by snake

and now like they're like full panic mode against John Boyd at this point How are we going to do it? And it's like, you know what? The power of a sexy lady. So we cut to this scene where John Voitz's like, I don't know, doing something in the cabin alone. He's like touching the picture of the alternative.

Oh, he's remembering the good days with the golden days of the Snake Boys. Oh, I'll open to scale and slitters for you, Danny Trejo. Oh, Danny Trejo. I will not change the name of Slitters even though I know. I was against it. But Slitters was your address. idea, my friend. I don't know you.

I'm going to put it on the sign. Welcome to Slitters. Every time the front door opens, it just goes. But so then, like, in saunters, J-Lo. And you're like, yeah. You're like, oh, this is weird. She's, like, clearly coming on to him. And then I'm like, oh, my God, we're going to get to see J-Lo and J-Vo.

Get it on. I would still be throwing up. Yeah, I'd be vomiting is what I'd be doing if that happened. Like an Andaconda. And so she's like, you know, the love of a good woman, this, that, the other thing. How could John Voight entertain this for even one second? Listen, any time a sexy lady comes up to you and mentions the love of a good woman, someone's about to hit you in the back of the hat. Yeah.

Agreed. A woman that you've previously kidnapped. Yeah, exactly right. In other circumstances, maybe it's 15. No, no, in every circumstance. Fair enough. If a woman tells you you need the love of a good woman, you know, a sack of quarters is about to hit your head. Best case scenario, really.

Or Ice Cube is going to sneak up behind you with a wrench and fucking try to hit you in the back of his goal. And like, John Voigt realized, like, do you think I was stupid? And he pulls a gun on Ice Cube. And then kisses J-Lo, like, I might as well get something for this fucking coup. Take it where you can get it. Thanks John Void's character. He slithers. He slithers his tongue out.

Oh, yeah. So it turns out the slippiest snake of all is J-Voe. By the way, you just gave me a great thought. Imagine if the twist ending of this movie was it turned out. John Voight was part snake the whole time. Oh, that'd be great. I would love it. Like you escaped from the lab.

Yeah, yeah. That's a whole other sci-fi movie. No, oh, my God, even better. At the end of the movie, they're about to kill him. and then he opens up his shirt and it's like nightmare on Elm Street and all the snakes that he's killed. All the souls of the snakes he's murdered.

And a little guy like Coagin or whatever. Quaid. Wait, who had it in the... Who had the guy in his belly? In total recall. Wasn't Coagan? No, it's not Coahagan. It was some other dude.

Oh, wait, Quato. Quato. Yeah, that could be there. Maybe Danny Trejo's face pops out too. Yeah. And he's like, oh, kill me. forget slithers kill me i got all these snakes in my belly so uh the british guy knocks him over the head with a golf club and they tie him of course he does

and like ice cube is like hey let's kill this guy yeah that's ice cube is correct and jennifer lopez is like no we're going to turn him over to the what would what would cal want or whatever or referring to eric stultz's bullshit character who got us all killed in the first fucking place How about who gives a shit? Yeah, this guy. Let's think about what he would do and then do the exact polar opposite. I'm going to slit this guy's throat. Turn him into chum.

Uh-huh. Turn him into chum instantly. Yeah. Just there's, you know what? Clearly, I mean, there's no authorities out here. No. This guy has no attachments. The snake boys are done.

No ID, by the way. Clearly, his name, which is like Paul Serrano or some horse shit, that's fake. Yeah. Just, you know, if you want to do it, you don't want to, you know, you want to be nice. You don't want to kill someone yourself. tie him up completely and I'm talking even around the neck because this guy's a wily bastard and then dump his body in that bog and be done with it let the anaconda take care of it or tie him to a tree and leave it that's the move that's terrifying that's the old like I'm too much of a chicken

shit to do this so I'm just going to let nature take it's course that's it whatever or time to a tree and then cut his bowels out oh right what I would do what you don't do is tie him to the master your fucking boat and be like we're going to turn you into the rainforest police or whatever horse shit we're talking about. Exactly. Exactly. What is the end game for not killing it? Right? Like, where are you taking him?

Oh, dude. Do you seriously want to deal with a trial about this whole snake misadvent? I want to get the fuck out of the Amazon the second I get to dry line. Not to spoil the movie, but we do and to counter a native tribe. Maybe they want tribe law to come into effect. Oh. I like that

idea. Yeah. Make some fucking fur. out of this guy. Yeah, or like shoot him with arrows or bash his skull. Oh, totally. All that sounds great. Any of that shit sounds awesome. Yeah, you tell the tribunal there. But you know what?

If that's the case, though, that's how the movie needs to end. That would be, wouldn't it be like a haunting ending if it's just like he gets brought to this trial and this ancient civilization and they just beat him to death? And it's just like this one shot of like behind John Void's head and like they just start beaten him. And it just, it pans back slowly. And it like slowly leaves the hut. Fuck, I love that. And you just see the, like

10 minutes. And then and then a post credit sequence is John Voight, the ghost of John Voight's character walks into slithers, Danny Trejo's tending bar and he's like, what can I get you? End credits.

Think about that. Chilling. It's an art movie now. Anaconda needed to be an art movie. Also, it's all and black and white. You're setting up the sequel, Anaconda 2, Snake Bar. Which actually is better than Anaconda 2. Hunt for the Blood Orchid? Which I've seen the same scene in two

different hotel rooms. Yeah, it's just a weird quinky dink that happened. I haven't seen a second of that movie. Maybe neither. But whatever. So we run to more vague boat trouble because that's what this movie's about. Like, oh no, the boat's caught on something else. Yes. And like, basically,

Basically, it's hilarious because Ice Cube and Jennifer Lopez is like, all right, our plan will be Ice Cube and you, Jennifer Lopez, will go and tie one rope to this thing. And, hey, British guy, that's super expendable. You go over there and do that yourself. Exactly right. And Kerry Werer is going to guard the prisoner, which also it is revealed right before this whole thing that John Voight is in fact the guy who put the wasp in Eric Stoltz's mask. Oh, the poisonous wasp. Oh, I'm going to get right in this swimmer's mask, eh? I'll nestle right in there.

Just shrink down with this device I stole from Antman. The swimmer reminds me of my favorite short story by John Updike. Yes. Muffy and I have considered seven nights just jumping fences and hopping in pools that aren't ours. Oh, poisonous wasp, you are the best. So whatever. they do this stupid plan and the British guy's like really yeah sure great great plan for you guys the British guy has my favorite love the movie good because it's like he's he's given up on

fucking everything and they're like all right you go over there by yourself swim 50 yards away and tie this rope there and he's like all right yeah I'll do it fuck it like what does it even matter he goes I was up all night picking leeches off my scrotum this guy says yeah You know what, Snake, you can't get here fast enough, dude. Yep. Hey, boys, get on that British man scrot him. Yikes. My boys and I met a British man.

On a cruise shit. Got to write about it in my diaries. All the erections I've had. Will the phone speed two, cruise control. There might be new listeners. That's true. So Carrie Werher takes this, opportunity because he killed Owen Wilson

to kill John Voight. And you know how you do that quickly and viciously? Absolutely. You got a steak knife. It's going right in his heart 14 times before he can open his fake accented mouth. Instead, what happens is John Voight

eats a magic Mario mushroom and super jumps up like a fucking hearty boy. Well, he gets her. He's like, oh, she's like, I'm going to kill you, you son of a bitch. And he's like, oh, you should You never look at the eyes of those you kill. Oh, right.

It'll haunt you forever or something. Just ask me, you know, back in the day, the golden days of the snake boys. God, just kill me already. There was actually four snake boys. One of them, I looked right in the eye before I murdered. He never made it to Snake Man. I'll tell you that much. His name was Albert, and I cut his fucking throat.

But you're right, he does do this amazing scissor kick that John Boyt never could do. He jumps up 60-year-old ponytail John Boyd. He wraps his legs around this woman's neck and does the fucking tornado, whatever the wrestling move is. And pulls her

and you're just like, what the fuck? And then he wraps his legs around here much like an anaconda. Oh. And or like Zenia on a top and GoldenEye and fucking strangles her with his kneecaps. The biggest bung girl, you ever saw

on a me. Look at my magic thighs. Squeezer, squeezy. Sorry, that was a legitimate reaction. My mission is to sleep with James Bond and implant a venom. So she's dead. So she's totally dead. Then

the British, the Anaconda shows up, obviously, at this point, chases the British guy up a waterfall. Oh, we sure it does. And the British guy tries to jump for it. The Anaconda catches his cartoon in mid-air. This is some of... Two cartoons spiraling through the air.

I know, dude, it is some of the worst CGI in the whole movie. Oh, it's bad. Oh, it is bad. And the best part is, like, Jennifer Lopez and Ice Cube, we're like, oh, no! Wow, we totally didn't see that coming. Oh, yikes. Sorry about that dad from Jumanji.

We really thought you were going to make it. So they get on the boat, they find Carrie Warrer dead. They fight John Boyt and kick him off the Bo? Well, no. So the snake attacks, once again, by the way, after eating chumly there. Yeah. And this is where Jennifer Lopez shoots it like three times in the head. Oh, dude, it's great. Hey, guys, what are you doing? Blowing my head away like this. Let's count to three. Oh, no, those are bullets. But this saves Ice Cube's life. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, Ice Cube's getting squosed by the snake, as it were. And this is a great, this thing, the, the CGI looks so bad, but the puppet,

That thing, it's pretty awesome, and those brains go splat. It's totally fine. And honestly, this is where we should end it with the Anaconda. But no, oh, but there's another Anaconda. Of course, which should have been the sequel title, Another Antaconda. I know, isn't this the same snake? No, no, it's brains pop out of its head. This is another one.

Did you see it die, dude? What is this Jason Voorhe's snake? I don't know. This movie's fucking terrible. I don't know why, but my brains came back And I'm a zombie just like a Jason lives Wait, so it's two snakes I'm pretty sure it's another snake

Oh Lord Well, so also to answer your question about John Voight though It's another like Ha ha ha you may have shot the snake But you didn't shoot John Voigt And then he's like And Eric Stoltz has shot him in the back With a trank gun

And again Eric Stoltz fucking use a dagger and go drown with him until he's dead. This type of guy, you encounter this type of guy, you've got to start stabbing it you see through him. Yeah, it doesn't look like a person no more. Did we learn nothing from Carrie Wuerre's heroic death? Like, you know what I mean?

The woman was in sliders and thinner and we're not even caring about this woman's dead. The body... The salt on sea, by the way. And the body count at this point, what does it matter? Listen, all your friends are dead. Yes. Kill this guy.

Yeah, just to be sure that he's dead and then go on your merry way. Like, no one's turning you in. Take a life. Even if the, you know, the rainforest police came in all their boats and whatnot. They took the boober and arrest you guys and try to, you have to explain your story. Guess what? You're fine.

You can kill this guy. Yeah, you're totally cool. He's been trying to kill you for days now. He's killed two to three of your friends. Yeah, at this point, like, it's fucking, you know, defending, justifiable homicide, rather. Now, this is, I mentioned, you know, complaining about the CGI earlier in the movie. before we get to like the final ridiculously stupid act of this movie

Ice Cube is backing this boat up did you guys notice this? Uh-huh. Like a shitty talk shit. You ever notice? You ever notice? You hear about this? You hear about this? Do you read about this? Hey, do you guys hear about this?

Ice Cube is backing this boat up and they have this shot of the boat backing up. And this movie is so fucking cheap and stupid and lazy. It's actually a shot of a boat going forward. You know how I can tell? because a fucking waterfall is falling up in the background. Oh, way, that's amazing.

Guaranteed. If you go, it's like an hour and two minutes in this movie or something, the waterfall is going up, my brothers. Oh, wow. Maybe, you know, maybe... We're doing the part of the forest where time goes backwards.

It's not a fucking Christopher Nolan movie. Hey, it would be a better movie. Christopher Nolan's Anaconda. Yep, where waterfalls go ups and it turns out it's all a dream. Oh, Slyther, you've always been here. Oh, maybe this is, uh, it's all in Eric Stoltz's mine. Oh, it's his fever dream while he's gotten, yeah, I'm ready for the jump.

Hey, why, why is the waterfalls going backwards? Oh, no, it's a dream. I'm dead. Oh, in this dream, I got to be in all the back to the future movies, and I was on Spin City. Right, instead of going to the Slivers bar, he rewere, he, to the set of Back to the Future. By the way, be jealous that you weren't in Back to the Future.

Don't be jealous you weren't in Spin City. Do you think Christopher Lloyd got him fired, by the way? Bobby! It's about Marty. He's terrible. This kid sucks! It's good sucks a dog's ass! Oh, my God.

Spill, imagine, imagine. Imagine Christopher Lloyd. Yelling at you? Turned out to be a fucking set tyrant. Can you imagine? I could. I'm going to find out. Who do you want me?

That fucking red-headed piece of shit. Bob Dale! Bob Gallagher, burn your fucking house down. You'll replace this ginger piece of shit immediately. I'm just like... You want a small boy? I'll get you a small boy. What about that fucking kid from family times?

Hey, Eric, Eric, come here. You'll never work in this town again. You crossed Lloyd. You stepped on my fucking lines, kid. Hey, hey, I did a movie called Camp Nowhere. Guess where you're going to be living. Nowhere! You'll be lucky

be wearing a wig and pulp fucking fiction. Gat you, your black fucking medical book? How about a little black acting book? Let you take a class. Killing Zoe, you're killing this movie. Hello, Michael.

It's nice to meet you. It's a pleasure to meet you. I can't wait to work on the I'm a very giving actor. I'm such a quiet, nice, decent man. Such a giving actor, I gave away weeks of my time. And now we have to re-shoot. That fucking Eric Stoltz.

Man, I'd love it. And that was the only time. Yeah, yeah. All of the Reverend Jim episodes, he was a peach to, you know, work with the dream team. My God, the dream team. The story's about how generous he was on the dream team. But you ask him about Eric Stoltz and he flips the fuck out. It sets him off.

Dude, his fucking top blows when he hears that name. Are you kidding me? try to go to the theater have a nice night with my family watching Anaconda fucking Eric Stoltz turned up You're over the audacity We're leaving! We're leaving!

Why did Christopher Lloyd Storm out of that press screening? Bend over and I'll show you. God, I hope that's not true. I'm probably not. I'm pretty sure it's fake. I think that like Eric Stoltz just mildly underperformed. Like, hey, let's just bring it

somebody else. I think the story was Spielberg and Zemeckis were dissatisfied. I'm sure Christopher Lloyd probably felt terrible about it. That's the cover story. The Christopher Lloyd's weird, prima dama, epic meltdown on set.

Back in the future. Love it. Actually, it was so crazy. He actually killed the real estate. Oh, God. And Stephen Spielberg paid out of pocket to commission an Eric Stolt's android. All right, because then they got a, that actually makes sense because back to the future, too, they got a Crispin Glover android to play George McPly, and they got caught with their hands in the cookie jar on that one.

Oh, fuck, so they go to this abandoned snake factory? This is where I make my snakes. This is the snake lab. John Void gets the upper hand on both of them because they didn't fucking kill him, and they woke up, they wake up like tied to a pole. They kick him into the water. Okay. Which, like, that's not enough at this point. Because apparently you did murder that snake.

Yes. I thought that snake was just stunned, but it turned out it was murdered. But, like, he gets the upper hand. He ties them, like, they get knocked out for some reason, and they wake up. And, like, John Voight goes, monkey blood and douses them with carry blood. Like, how many fucking monkeys are you killing, Bell? That's what he eats, I think. Steve, you'd be surprised at how much blood a monkey.

can hold. That's why he never, he was never a guest start on friends because he's only trying to kill fucking little Marcel. I love a kombusha monkey. I fuck snakes and I eat monkeys. Jean Void.

Man, he's a fucking jerk. The bucket of monkey blood, though. It's insane. And I wasn't paying attention. And I was like, here comes the gasoline, you know. And I thought it was the thing where he was going to

like use fire to attract. the snake. I don't know what my thought process. Sure, whatever. And all of a sudden, it's just blood. The moth snake. Very deadly. So another anaconda shows up. This one's even bigger and badder than before.

And J-Lo and Ice Cube get out. John Void just gets eaten by a snake, right? He gets eaten by the snake. It's going after them. They are trying to, like, blow up this smokestack or some such business. This is the snake factory where they make the snakes. Correct. Ice Cube is hacking at this thing with an axe that he finds. Yeah.

I don't know why a snake factory needs an axe, but, you know. I will say one thing. Jennifer Lopez at this point, like, she needs to be the... I mean, she did kill one Anaconda, but I feel like she needs to be the one with the axe at this point. Right? She does. It's her movie. Like, Ice Cube's badass.

Like, he could do other things. She should have more to do. Yeah. She's mostly just in distress. And the thing is, there's too much of a crew to kill, I guess. I mean, there should be a high body. count, but you're right, they don't focus on her enough. No, she's more of an ensemble.

It's like a Robert Altman. Robert Altman's first and last time this comparison's made. Oh, is this movie All One Shot? Did I miss that? Dude, do you miss that part where Keith Carradine's just singing folk music? Oh, this is based on a series of Raymond Carver's short stories.

Because I'm easy. Just romancing Lily Tomlin. What's happening, man? That's why Lily Tomlin was the boatmaster. That makes so much sense. Actually, on the sitcom that is the Snake Boys, Lily Tomlin is like the snake master, you know, like the Boatmaster,

that would kind of cool. Yeah, that's up then. She's like the teacher on, you know, what's that show, all the the girls there? Sure, yeah, the girls. Tudy and the rest. Oh, facts of life. Yeah, yeah, like the old. Mrs. Garrett. Mrs. Garrett, of course. There it was. I couldn't think of it.

Oh, my girls. I never said. Oh, my snake boys. I never saw the facts of life. Oh, really? Well, you take the good, you take the bad. Oh. That's how you get the facts alive. Right.

Just letting our audience know, hey, you know, because there's a lot of young folks, you know, because we hate movies as a hip and with it, broke up. Oh, really? Yeah. So, yeah, you know, I feel you youngsters. Oh, please. There's all, half the audience born in the year of Andaconda's release. Listen, listen. Listen.

Listen. Yeah. TV happened before. for Wizards a Waverly place. Well, this is new media, buddy. So what the fuck this snake? Oh, actually, the thing about the John Voight snake eating, though. Please.

We got to talk about this because what are we even thinking with this shit? As the snake is lunging down on John Voight, we get snake internal cam. Yes, snake cam. Yeah, the tummy P-O-V. And by the way, too much snake P-O-V in this movie to begin with. That's exactly right. And then this inside, you see this big. pink kite sort of fluff up

I want to see John Void go into like a double dare apparatus for this shot because that's hilarious Exactly and oh it was so great We're watching it at home and like I'm like I got to watch Anaconda for the show And my wife's just hanging out on the couch Like not paying attention but she happens to look up

At this shot and just goes Oh well that's disgusting It goes back to the phone It's so fucking unnecessary It's ridiculous And then he gets thrown up later Yes he is regurgitated because the snake is going to eat them right in front and now he spits him up in front of jailer right yeah and then he winks

which is chilling it is one of the most famous perv moves in all of best he's still alive yes he's regurgitated he's he's on his knees looking up at jalo and winks at her and falls over oh john void being regurgitated is him being in those national treasure movies is that yeah yes regurgitated to be in those movies man he sucks He sucks. And actually, you know what? As recently, as last year, the year of Our Lord 2015, he's still starring in these baby genius movies.

What? Yes. And this most latest one, it's like fucking baby geniuses in a space station. Of course it is. Wait, baby geniuses in a space station. Is that 2015 or 2016? Because we got January coming up. Unfortunately, I do believe that it's, it's 2015.

That's unfortunate. We will have another listener request month in March. So, baby geniuses and the space baby, 2015. Oh, that's a door. Is that where they find the 2001 baby baby, and raise it as its own? Oh, my God, the baby geniuses discover the star child. Yeah.

And maybe they have an existential crisis of where they are in the universe and what life is. Exactly right. Oh, that'd be cool. Hey, by the way, here's something you didn't see you coming. They're so smart, you know, they should contemplate philosophy. But continue. John Voigt, back to theaters this holiday season, because somehow he managed to sneak his way into fantastic beasts and where to find them.

What? Yes, dude. Henry Shaw Sr. Oh, he's probably the landlord. He can't. Keep a down out there with all those beasts. I'll find them. Vote Trump.

He just comes on the screen. It's any red man fighting a big beast and he's like, vote Trump. Thank you. Thank you. Oh, and the conditions of the least said, no pets, Mr. Redmayne. Oh, I like that. That's a cute little line. Yeah, exactly.

But, yeah, I mean, however he figured that out. But yes, vote Trump, of course. So he's vomited up. We're, like, trying to get out of this place. J-Lo's, like, climbing up the smokestack. He's got, uh, Ice-T has an ice pick, or a, or a pick axe into the snakes. Because you just got finished killing Leon Trotsky. Right, right, babe?

That's the news that I'm out of here. Speaking of vote, Trump. Right into, in the snake's tail and like... It's like stock and, yeah. And like the snakes trying to get her in the snow. Let's crucify just like our Lord Jesus Christ, by the way. I don't know if you noticed that reference. Yes, for our sins.

For our snakes. And then like ice cubes pulling a burn on this snake. And like J-Lo narrowly is. and jumps out and the snake explodes of the smokestack. She's stuck at the top of the smokestack trying to get out of this like this like this fence door thing. Yeah. And she should

have the charges by the way. Exactly. She should have more to do it. And ice cube is just like use that door. And she's just like, I can't do it. I don't know what's going on. Oh, you're that door. Oh, you push it. Oh, wait. And then it's just like, she just pushes it and it opens. Yeah, I guess she didn't try that first. Well, what she, her life, because he's like, push it the hinge

it'll break. Her line should be like, do you think I fucking tried that? You know what I mean? Like, and then as opposed to, oh, well, you're right. That's exactly correct. As she just jumps out, it explodes. It's your action movie. I'm jumping away from something exploding. Right. And it is fucking hilarious. And this is stupid

as shit because this whole thing explodes. Presumably you would blow up a snake with this force of this explosion. These are zombies. Oh, no, it's just on fire. And it's just like, I'm a snake on fire. Fire snakes. Well, because he's now,

there's zombie snakes. The only way to kill these things is by destroying the brain. Exactly right. And they learned that from the first one that they killed. And I literally thought that this was the same thing.

How do we actually finally kill this thing? I think it's more, it's another axe job. Oh, right. It keeps jumping up there. That snake's got a final scare. Gets him one more time. Right.

Which is whatever. And then Eric Stoltz wakes up like, oh, man. Is this a movie going on out here? What I miss? slept through it just like he slept through Back to the Future The fucking table reads

I saw you sleeping in that anaconda Gave me flashbacks to the first three production weeks of my classic film Back to the Future By the way, next time I say Do you want to run lines this weekend? You fucking do it! That's what it all was

He was like, hey, go to my house, run lines And he's like, oh, I'm kind of busy, man. And that's it. By the way, for more Christopher Lloyd impressions Sure. L.A. Podfest buy the streaming whatever account. Oh, that's right. LAPodfest.com live stream link. Our code

movies to get us on video yelling like Christopher Lloyd and Hulk Hogan. That'll be fun. That's right, brother. And like as if anyone cared that they're like, oh wow, what a great movie this was. And then the tribe that no one remember because this movie's been

on for an hour and a half and no one remembers why anyone was in the jungle in the first place. It was a lost tribe, but turns out they're the ones who are lost. And the tribe helps them and finds them. Isn't that sweet? She's like, oh, Ice Cube, go get your camera. And, like, they make the documentary anyway. No.

These people would be vilified in the media. Like, oh, that new movie's coming out about that tribe. Isn't it that people that, like, killed all those other people? And they blew up that snake factory? You know what I mean? Put a whole village out of work. It would be like Blair Witch. it's snakes, I guess.

Well, it is kind of like a found footage mentality of like, oh, fuck, there they are. I got to keep filming. This movie could have easily been found footage. Oh, I'm sure there's been a found footage snake movie by now. Wasn't there that found footage TV show Lost River? Was that found footage? I don't know what you're

talking about. It was found to be instantly canceled. I don't know. I don't remember it was found footage. It was found dead on the air. Yeah, that's right. Dead away. Yeah. This movie. is a cool 89 minutes.

I love that. I'll give it that. With credits by the way, with all the title sequence and the scrolls, you would talk like an hour and 16 minutes of content, which I like. Yeah, we just barely have a feature-length film on our hands here. And that's, I mean, again, I want more, I mean, like, A, if you're going to

ask me, Andrew, I would recommend it. Yeah. I want more movies like this. I want like, but not like shlocky, shitty, winky, sci-fi stuff. Right. I want a movie that's a little bit self-aware. It's not boring, but it's not like, it's not Shark Nato which I hate those movies and I can't like not hate them in a fun way

but hate them in a I just don't want to watch that movie Now here's a confusing bit And I guess it's because I think you got to work backwards here So you go to the the Tribune And you want to figure you're saying Steve Like I'd like more of these movies Sure sure

So there's Anaconda's Colin the Hunt for the Blood Ork In 2004 Which I've seen in two different hotel rooms The same scene Anaconda colonel in the offspring from 2000 Anacondas colon, Trail of Blood from 2009, right? But so when you look back at this list, though, it's followed by. So it's this movie's 97, followed by Lake Placid 99.

Okay. But you're like, well, how the fuck is that connected? You got to follow it all the way back up to 2015. What? Where there was a movie called Lake Placid versus Anaconda. Wow. That's like Freddy versus Jason kind of. We were waiting for it for decades.

So the lake fights the snake. Do the bats show up from bats? No, but Blue Diamond Phillips is it. Araknophobia? Oh, yeah, get the spiders. Anacophobia. I'll tell you this, though. Lake Placid versus Anaconda.

Yeah, you better believe it's starring Robert England. Oh, come on. Totally. That sucks. So Steve would recommend it, Eric. Yeah, you know, sure. I mean, it's kind of a quintessential, bad movie. Sure.

It moves at a decent clip, and it's really dumb. So, you know, if you're inclined... I'm definitely recommending this movie. Like I said, it's a cool 89 minutes, and that's including all the credits. But also, again, it's a hangover movie, man. You can fall in and out of consciousness watching us. Apparently, they're all hangover movies to you.

Oh, that's not true. Someone's got a problem. I would say, but to... Hashtag someone's got a problem. Reverse for Andrew. it's hashtag someone does have a problem

I think it's a drinking movie it's not a hangover movie I'm kind of for that too like late at night you're shitting around you're spitting fire with your buds I think Eric and I

separately but both watch this in the morning I watch this at 7 a.m. It's not a stone sober movie like I watched this yesterday at like maybe 1130 in the morning and it's like not for that yeah it was a it was a nice

like 8 PM start time. Yeah, you're cracking some beers. You're hanging out. That's okay. Maybe you wake up and you're still drunk. Throw out. It's the pre-hangover movie.

I've been there. That's Anaconda from 1997 directed by Luis Yosa. If you want to get a hold of us and find out more information about the show. WHModcast.com. Oh, no. Our new website is patreon.com. There is indeed the Patreon. Of course.

Subscribe to the Patreon. support the show, get bonus content. That is patreon.com slash we hate movies. Also another little announcement. We have a new t-shirt shop. Oh, yeah. T-Public, we partnered with. So T-Public.com slash we hate movies.

And that's T-E-E-E-E-Public.com slash we hate movies. If you liked our show posters or maybe you were like, I wasn't at the show, I don't want to have that post. You know, these are the same designs without the, the show dates on them that are you can buy on t-shirts you can buy them on a mug you can buy them on and all of those designs a ton of shit all those designs done by the great chris walton that is right a great fan of the show great friend of the show at chris walton 73 and that is that is this twitter handle right yes it is i mean you could say that out loud and maybe he'll show up and say three

times it's like fucking beetle juice he'll pop into your living room and design some fantastic art for you You will. So, of course, like us on Facebook, follow us on Twitter. We are at WHM Podcast. Do not forget, gang, about the LAPodfest live stream. You go to LAPodfest.com, click on the live stream package. You can stream all the shows that are happening at L.A. Podfest. And you will see our pre-recorded show available to watch us talk about Suburvan

Commando live at the Hollywood Improv. Again, that's LAPodfest.com. be sure to use our promo code, by the way, which is movies. M-O-V-I-E-S, plug that in, get $5 off the live stream pass for the festival. A lot of great shows going out there. It's going to be a lot of fun this weekend. And you can hear us and see us talk about Suburban Commandos. So there is indeed that.

Rate and review the show wherever you get it. We would greatly appreciate it. Now, next week on the program, the show rose on. And I think at this point I can say, it's 50-50. Chris Cabin will be here. And the episode is, Hollow Man. Oh.

Well, that's with Kevin Beacon. Kevin Bacon. Oh, he's not doing the shitty voice, though. Oh, but he has a snake in his trousers. I'll tell you that. Like all invisible men before him, he sure does. So until next week with Hollow Man. I'm Andrew Jupin.

Steven Seda. Eric Siska. Take it easy. Go on, babies. Back to your mothers. Thank you.