We Hate Movies - S7 Ep269: Episode 269 - Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers

Episode Date: October 11, 2016

On this week's terrifying episode, the gang dives deeper into the Halloween Spooktacular as they take a look at the wretched sequel, Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers! Look how terrible this mask is! Is Michael Myers the only movie monster that can drive a van? And who's responsible for cleaning up that bloody bus station?! PLUS: Several wishy-washy Donald Pleasence impressions! Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers stars Donald Pleasence, Paul Rudd, Marianne Hagan, Mitchell Ryan, Kim Darby, and George P. Wilbur as The Shape; directed by Joe Chappelle. And be sure to catch us at the Jacob Burns Film Center on October 21st as we talk over the cult classic Death Spa as part of the third annual Halloween Movie Marathon! Get your tickets before noon on 10/12 to receive an early bird discount on your marathon pass! Other films screened that night are: Phantasm, Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer, Jigoku, The Greasy Strangler, a totally twisted preview right out of the Sundance Film Festival, and more!Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

And on today's program, my God, it's back to Franchise Town. We're talking Halloween, The Curse of Michael Myers. I'm Andrew Jupin. Steven Seda. Chris Cabin. Eric Siska. And we hate movies. We all go a little mad sometimes.

You know, it's Halloween. I guess everyone's entitled to one good scare. Sometimes. That is bad. Zombies have entered the building. They're at the door. They're coming in. It is time to keep your appointment with the Wicter Man.

They're coming to get you, Barbara. A sick fuck's using one too many movies. Now, Sid, don't you blame the movies. Movies don't create psychos. Movies make psychos. More creative! Put the fucking lotion in the bag. What an excellent day for an exorcism.

Hello, everyone. Welcome to We Hate Movies on the Side Show Network. Thank you for tuning into our fine, spooky little program. That's right. The Halloween spooktacular chugs along as we go back to Haddonfield. I would rather chug anything than watch this movie. Rat Poison? Would you rather chuck rat poison? That sounds very nice.

Perfect. That sounds tasty. Some men call this a curse. I call it. a gift. How is it? Shugging rat poison? No, the Michael Myers. Oh, oh, oh, oh. Immortality of a murderer. That's going to be your own. I mean, that's going to be my Netflix series of how I did it. I kind of like this. If I did it. Oh, yes. That's how I did it. Of course. You're built like a Canadian hockey player. You're doomed to walk the earth. You kill like six people every five years. Just like an average Canadian hockey player. Yeah, it's not a bad gig.

What is he doing between Halloween's, you think? Sleeping. Yeah. Or working at a gas station. Oh, that explains it. There was actually a... It explains that jumpsuit. A draft of this movie or a proposal for this movie started out with Michael Myers being homeless.

Yes. That's a Scott Spiegel. He had like hitch his way to Haddonfield just to make it on... I like that way more. Absolutely. But isn't that pretty much how that fourth movie starts with... They do like the Frankenfield. Stein nod and like that blind guy's taken care of them.

Oh, right. Yeah, I don't know what that's about. Isn't that the beginning of fifth? That's the fifth. Oh, it's one of them there, sequels in the middle. Yeah. Is that Maniac Cop 2? A lot of homeless serial killers out there. As it turns out. Yeah, I don't, you know, homeless Michael Myers, I feel like it's been done.

Maybe that's why they flew the script across the table. This is, for those of you who don't know, this is the one from 1995, directed by Joe Chappelle, who is a director that, you know, classic case of someone you want taking on a franchise, a guy who was quoted as saying he didn't like these movies. Oh, cool. So hire that fucker on to hire the next, uh, to direct the next one. But I get it the money. Yeah. I get all their money

to make it to phantoms. Oh yeah, he directed phantoms after this. Nice. Yikes. He broke Ben Affleck. Well, not really, but... Broke his back. Oh, that was Bain. Pardon me. Uh, this is also the one that's like, I feel like, uh, uh, uh, buried in the most

lore almost because this was like the disastrous one where like the director was fighting with the producers and if you get the Halloween box set which I got on Blu-ray baby you get the two cuts of the movie the theatrical cut which is what we'll be talking about tonight but then also there's the producers cut which you know we'll touch on here and there I literally

watched these back to back. You watch both of them? Yeah I watched both of them. I know the producers is better right? It's weird each one of them both of them does certain things better than the other one does Like, the theatrical cut is way more gory. The producers cut, all that stuff's cut out.

The ending of the producers cut... It's more artistic. Yeah. That's one word. It's just like a Terrence Malick movie. Oh, yeah. Tree of Death. No, I would love to see Terrence Malik do a Halloween movie.

Oh, that would be great. That would be pretty good, actually. The camera was just floating around Michael Myers. It would be awesome. Exactly. You could show him like an aerial shot of him digging in garbage. And then... Bringing it back to the hobo star.

And then you have the slightly pretentious voiceover saying, Err. That does sound. As narrated by Brad Pitt or Kate Blanchett, depending upon which version you watch. As narrated by Brad Garrett. A Michael Myers. Oh, no, Michael.

Look out. It's Dr. Loomis. And then it cuts to like a murderous ape in the jungle a thousand years ago. Yeah. Bash and another ape, a skull in. Dude, if there was a Halloween sequel that flashed, flashback to like the Paleolithic era. Bravo. That's a real risk. That's a real risk.

And the run of Thorn is just like exposed in the primordial ooze. Yes, dude. The start of evil itself. That's your opening shot, by the way. Right. You know, that thing that everyone talks about the fish that gets legs and walks out, it like steps over the run. And then it's like original sin. It wasn't the biting of the apple by Eve. It was the stepping on the run. And then he gets a bleached out, William. Shatner mask, which would be in the paleo. I got to tell you, this is

the sixth movie in this franchise, this mask is looking cheap. It's, I mean, they, you know, I kind of like it. I like the mask as well, yeah. It's at a point where they... It's a loose fit. It's a loose fit, which I don't appreciate. It's 1995. We want to be comfortable. Why does he have fucking jinkgo jeans on them

too? It's a jingo mask. It looks terrible. I would like to see Jinko jeans. Jinko jeans and Echo, like, big puffy jacket. It is like if you went into a Halloween store now and you were like, I want to be Michael Myers for Halloween. Like the fucking costume designer did that. They bought a knockoff fucking Michael Myers Halloween costume and that's what's in a motion picture. To be fair, for some god awful reason, most of these movies decide that everyone around Halloween wants to wear a Michael Myers mask and they sell them in stores in the place where he was from murdering people. Well, you know, when that's, listen, when it's what your town is known for, dude, I mean, the town's around Roswell, there's UFO stuff all over the place.

That's true. Now, Steve would know better than I. Where is Dahmer's epicenter? Do they, and do they sell masks? They don't sell Dahmer mask. Okay, what about Ed Dean? He's in Milwaukee, I believe. Do they sell Dahmer dick jars?

I was going to say, do they sell Dahmer chocolates? Oh, yes. Chocolate rabbits. I'm sure somebody does. You can go on the Etsy shop. Oh, yeah. That's a gross Etsy shop. I don't want to shop on.

It's got raspberry cam in it because it's like blood. Did you say raspberry cum? No. You were trying to say jam, but I think you said cam. I think you just got come on the brain. That's most days. This movie, the theatrical cut anyways. I don't know what goes all on in the beginning of the producer's cut.

Mostly pornography. We open on Jamie, who's been the protagonist of four and five. She's like 49 years old. now. We're in like an alternate 2014. It's like when Tommy Jarvis ages up

in those Friday the 13th sequels. Because in the last film she's nine and we're told that six years have passed which makes her 15. And you're just talking about a pregnant 15 year old

in this movie. But the actress is clearly like 28 or something. Oh, she looks like the lead singer of the Cranberry. Halloween, Halloween. The two,

The two things Haddonfield is known for. Haddonfield. Michael Myers and teen pregnancy. Big time, dude. She's like giving birth in some sort of a castle in Illinois, I guess. Well, maybe it's that one in Indiana we discovered, right? Isn't there one in Indiana? Around South Bend, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Larry Bird's? Larry Bird's Castle. I think it's, I think that this is actually the Smith's Grove. It's the basement of Smith's Grove. Yeah, which it makes more sense in. the producer's cut. But you know what? Who cares? So she gives birth. You don't know who she is because they don't get... That's the birth. That's it. I'm doing the special sound effects for this.

And there's like some sort of a cult going on and some nurse lets her go. Like she's supposed to be locked up or something. And this nurse wasn't screened by the cult, obviously. Yeah. Look at this turncoat. But also, you're making the pack to die right there. Oh, guaranteed. Like, come on, Michael. I'm here for you. And she just gets... The first death of the movie is pretty good. A spike is just protruded her head. Just kind of goes... Yeah, but this is...

It's obnoxious because this whole movie is filled with nods to the first one. And this is what we're doing. She pins this chick to the wall. And then he does, like, the head tilt. Fuck you. I saw that first fucking movie. Don't make me wish I was watching it. I feel like the first time he does it, it's like, oh, the magic and the awe of violence.

But now he's just kind of being a mean girl. Like, aw, sorry. That's exactly right. It's overkill, no pun intended. Oh, you intended. Yeah, I intended the shit out of it. So, yeah, that nurse is dead, and this woman breaks out and steals a professional wrestler's truck.

You see this guy? Interesting fact about this guy, it's a nothing role where this guy is like, hey, what are you doing to my truck? Oh, yeah. Hey, what are you doing to my truck? And then he gets murdered. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This dude plays a attempting to reform pedophile in the newly under siege the birth

of a nation. Oh. Total weird IMDB find. I'm glad they got a veteran actor in that. What I appreciate about Michael Myers

over Jason and Freddie and all the rest is that he is in a couple of these movies driving cars all over the place. He's a competent driver. He's got a license

to drive. He does. He steals a truck and he's like chasing her down? They wisely always kind of pan out when Michael's behind the wheel.

Like, you don't want to get too close to a bare-knuckle like Myers-Chace. Well, that's why, I mean, the fifth one, which I think is just barely better than this one. I think this is the bottom of the barrel. A pub's length better. But my, it's only for this scene is that he's driving a car, but he has to not murder someone who's sitting next to him. Because he has another mask on and she thinks it's somebody else. Oh, right, yeah. Oh, wait, wait, why doesn't he just take it off?

Are you saying that he has two masks in this movie? Yes. not in this movie in the fifth movie oh oh oh oh what's her name Tina Tina Tina's got a boyfriend named Michael who he kills yes and he puts on his Halloween costume and he's driving all over the place you're right even stops for so you get a bag of cigarettes you have to think of the guy is just sitting there like fuck man I just want to kill this man exactly I mean let's let's pump the brakes and think about that for a second someone turns to Michael Myers and says oh stop at that gas station I

to buy a pack of cigarettes. And he does it. This is why I wish he wasn't supernatural. Just make him like a crazed killer, you know, just make him a mental case. Yeah. Like Jason doesn't drive, doesn't talk, you know, just walks. Well, he's a baby man. Exactly.

I want my supernatural killers to be baby men. I feel, you know, Michael Myers is more just the strong silent type. I'm sure he's got a really interesting journal somewhere that no one's allowed to read. What's the penmanship situation? Or is it a live journal? And is it locked? It is 1995. He probably has a live journal that is locked.

Well, I don't know if that launched yet. I'm not... Maybe. He's got a GeoCity site. Oh, instead of a visitor count, he's got a kill count. No, the kill count is at like 60 something, and the visitor counts at like three. And he's got enough in his brain to know, put that under construction jiff up there. Because he's a smart killer

Yeah, yeah Oh yeah So she gets away She's like please I mean also she'd be dead This baby would be dead Like you can't just start running around Right after a fucking live birth

No You know from what I know about pregnancy Oh really And giving birth Yeah you can't be running Running away from a madman I'm sure it's happened Oh maybe a couple times

I bet it happened today She goes to a bus station And calls it to a radio show Now this is this is really stupid But this is a spooky radio show. They're talking about scary things. Well, it's like a Howard Stern Shock Jock type thing.

Barry Stearns, by the way. They tried to get Stern to play this character. Really? I wish I had video evidence of him saying, you're so fucking stupid. What? Yeah. They should have went to Art Bell then.

Oh, God, Art Bell. West of the Rockies, you're on the air. Is that dude dead? Coast to Coast A.M. No. Oh, really? No. He's alive. Did they try to get Imus?

That's what he wants you to think. No, they didn't ask, I-Miss. I'm a Macle-Mars. Wait, is that you or is that I-Miss? That's anybody. It's probably my... What's awesome about this radio show, though, is at the moment in the movie, we've already also been introduced to

Paul Rudd, Donald Pleasins, this woman in the car, and then the woman in the bus station, where they also, everybody has this radio show on. Paul Rudd's got it on, Donald Pleasins has it on, she's got it on, and the truck she steals and the bus station

Oh, Barry, are you going to ask her to take her top off? Oh, Barry, look at that toilet flush. Oh, Barry, you're going to get that in-studio guest to sit on the Sibbian again, aren't you? Oh, no, an Asian guest on the show.

Better play the long duck dong drop. Oh, I love when that happens. Barry, talk about your farts and shit. Barry, I do love it when you talk about your little penis And all of your friends, Haberdui, Slow-voiced Eric and the rest.

Oh, Barry, you cannot sexually satisfy your wife, can you? Oh, Tony the pun man is here. He's famously cheap. Johnny, the limo driver. Oh, your cast. of characters, Barry? These are like the boogeymen. These are worse than Michael

Myers. The four boogeymen of the apocalypse. So they're all listening. But the biggest one is why is the bus station playing this over the PA? Typing it through. Does she like try to call the cops? No, she immediately calls this radio station. Which is 1-800

you suck, by the way, in case of you guys. Oh man. Boater watch. And he's doing, the guy's doing a bit about Michael Myers. He's like, oh, it's Halloween coming up, bummer to bow, you know, and, like, that's what he's saying. Because he's, like, making an appearance in Haddonfield on Halloween. We learned that Haddonfield has banned Halloween since the last movie after what we are told, Michael Myers, the girl, Jamie, and as this dude puts it, that about 12 cops blew up in a police station.

It's a foot lucian movie. It is quite footloosian, Chris. Reverend John Lithgow showed up in banned Halloween. I mean, do they think that he won't show up? There's no Halloween? I don't, I mean, by the way. He's like walking, oh, I was going to say walking up to town, but he's driving up to town. He's driving right into town.

And he sees like, a sign that says, Halloween canceled. I guess I'll go kill someone else. Maybe I'll drive down to Crystal Lake, see what they're up to. I'll just go anywhere else. I want to know the logistics of banning Halloween, though. Seriously, like, if you go out in a costume on Halloween, am I getting a ticket? Yeah, you're probably getting a ticket. Are you allowed to watch horror movies in your house?

Yeah, can you keep Halloween in your house? Yes, it has to be your house. Wait, now, in footloose, were you able to dance in your house? That's a great question. I think they were talking about getting, you know, live cams in the homes. Oh, Jesus. What a police date they were establishing a footloose. Halloween resurrection you're talking about.

Footloose resurrection. That's what they should have called that new movie, by the way. John Lithgow comes back from the dead because you know that asshole died soon after his heart. Warmmed at the end of that movie, right? He allowed it in the end? He turns. Yeah, he does. He turns it all around.

Dancing is alone again. He does like a little shimmy, I think, at the end, too. Oh, Christ. And then he died in a dancing accident. He entered a dance contest like the Fonz, and he just died of exhaustion. And now he's been, he comes back to life and he kills people in a house. Just because, you know, they're doing the Charleston in the bedroom. Every year on the anniversary of footloose, he kills people.

So she makes this car. into the radio station and she's like hey they're coming Michael Myers is trying to kill me Dr. Loomis if you're out there and I'm like thank God this old Englishman is in his countryside cabin listening to this shock jocks

radio show so he can hear the cry for help well she's dead oh I hope she has an orgasm on the air that isn't a hot dog I can't hear you, sweetheart. Your top is still hot.

Oh, up next, George Ticay. I do love him. That isn't a hot dog. So, yeah, so Dr. Loomis, by the way, is thankfully retired. He says, a guy comes up to him, an old friend of his Dr. Wynn. That's a character from the first movie, not played by this dude. Oh, okay, that's the guy he's chewing out. Yes, okay, that makes sense.

Yeah, and this character actor's been a ton of stuff. Mitch Ryan. Yeah, Mitch Ryan, everywhere. He's in lethal weapon. I believe he was the dad on Darmine Gregg. He is, but is he Greg's father or Darma's father? He's Greg's father. Yeah, he's also the guy from Judge Dredd, the whistleblower, what do you call it? Bargis Hammond.

Oh, wow. Are you close personal friends with, what's his name, Mitch Ryan? Mitch Ryan? Mitchell Ryan? I think it's Chris's uncle. Uncle Mitch. I always wondered where all your money came from. Now I know. Yeah. That's Mitch Ryan money talking. That's Dharma and Greg money. That bought me that CD once. All those DVD sales. Do you think Dharma and Greg are changing around the dial late at night and see Seinfeld on and it's just like, could have been Darmine Gregg? The actual Darmine Greg, you're asking? Jenna Elfman and other guy?

The actor is not the fictional characters. Why? That would be a hell of a meta moment. Wouldn't that be eerie, right? Like you're watching TV and suddenly you're on there with your pals chumming around? And you're like, wait a second. It's kind of like enemy. Oh, yes.

Is that that Jake Gyllenhaal movie? I did not watch. It's a weird one. It's a weird one. Weird. Weird wild stuff. So Wynn comes up to him and he's like, hey, we need you to come back to Smith's Grove.

And I'm like, what, as a janitor? Because this guy is not an accomplished fucking therapist. All right. Who, Dr. Loomis? Yeah, Dr. Loomis. He's a witch doctor, practically. He's a fucking failure. He is a, he's a A-plus failure.

In his sessions, he's used the word evil dozens of times. That kicks you right out. He's a B-minus monster hunter, but like a nap as a medical doctor. Dr. Lubis is Colchick's understudy that got his walk in papers and decided to become a shrink. Oh, boy, Colchak Sick. Now I can go hunt Jack the Ripper tonight. And then he botches it? Oh, he would totally bungle it, dude.

So I'm going to try to not do this as often as I could. But cross into the alternate universe of the producer's cut. Dr. Wynn comes and he tells him that he himself is retiring from Smith's Grove. And he has chosen Dr. Loomis to be his successor. and he's trying to get him to come back. And I'm like, okay, but there's all that stuff where Donald Pleasins is talking about

how they, like, fucking forced him to retire and all this. I'm like, what are you doing? So you're asking a retired man to take the job because you're retiring. A retired failure. Yes.

Well, they wanted someone older for the job. Is there no one working there? Like, shouldn't this go to someone below? Dude, when we go to Smith's Grove in this movie, I count three people working. there. Win, win secretary, and then Dr. Loomis, who hasn't quite signed on for the job yet. So, no, is it Loomis' fault that Michael Myers keeps getting out

and killing people, or is it budget cuts? It's an underfunded institution. I think it is. Well, I think to be fair, he's, he only broke out the one time. No, he breaks out again, and I think four. He's back there. Oh, is it? Oh, okay. No, because for he's getting, like, rehabilitated, and they break the ambulance thing happens. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, he's in a halfway. house he's got a good job

he's got parole meetings trying to meet a pretty girl one day at a time and then just somebody puts a scary a ghost in a right aid window and he's like oh no it's that time of here again it begins that would be great

Michael Myers Reform Academy the curse of thorn actually that would be awesome the movie is like you assume it's Michael Myers the whole time then it turns out It was some other dude trying to frame him. And he's like, see, I am getting my life on track. I told you, Priscilla, I gave it up.

I gave it all up. Gave up the killing. This is my new wife, Priscilla. She used to write me letters in jail. I'm his biggest fan. Nice to meet you, Priscilla. I'm Ed Bradley. Let's do this.

So, I don't know. Tommy, I almost said Tommy Jarvis. Kind of same character. Tommy, whatever is name. Tommy Doyle. Tommy Doyle. From the first movie, of course. He was played by Pauline Rudd. Paul Rudd.

Paul Stephen Rudd. Is it really? His first movie. P.S. Rudd. Clueless winds up coming out first. This was his first movie. And introducing, they say. Yeah.

Yeah. It is weird because I find Paul Rudd to be awesome and constantly hilarious. So it's really hard for me to take him. seriously in this movie. And he's trying to be like, I'm half convinced he's trying to do a Vincent Price impression through a lot of this movie. That's a good interesting point. He's smiling a lot more than he should be. Well, because he's trying to play it as like he's kind of skittish and crazy and you don't really know what he's up to. Like at the end, spoiler, when he kills Michael Myers, figure that out. Well, it depends on the cut you watch. He just like looks at the body and

is like, as if it's an unwrapped Christmas present that he's going to get to open in, like, three hours. Well, you know, this is supposed to be a character who's been, like, following this since, like, he was attacked by Michael Myers in the first movies. Right, because he was the baby that was babysat by Laurie Curtis. Yeah, that's right. He's kind of a boo-radley type, like the creepy guy in the window. He's very boo-radley, yeah. So he lives across. Oh, he's a boyer, isn't he?

Yeah, he is. A little bit of a peeper. He's got a camera at this house, man. At the Strode House. Dude, it was the 90s, man. You wore baggy, tie-dye, and you filmed girls. Snapped some picks. You watched a lot of Beavis and Butthead.

Oh, God. Yeah, that's coming up, isn't it? Yeah, sure is. The Strode House, it's a different family. It's like the Strode's brother or something. This is like a bad TV spin-off. This is like, they're distant relatives. The distant relatives of the Stroves of the Stroves inherited the house on the condition that they could live in it for like a year or so.

Yeah, they don't tell anybody. Well, it's like, I think the, I think the dad is the brother of the people who adopted Jamie Lee Curtis's character. Sure. I think that's what it's supposed to be. But that's fine. And like, he's the only one that knows. And, like, ah, it's a fine house. You know, stuff happened.

You know, stuff happens in every house. Every house has a story, Chuck. Just get in there. A seven foot tall. Just get a broom, a little mopping. It'll be fine. You're using a broom to clean up blood. It'll work.

Just try it. Just try it. It will work. But, no. I mean, look, I feel like if you live in fucking Haddonfield, where they're outlong Halloween, and you know which house you're living. Because later on, everyone's like,

this is the Myers house? So nobody tells me. It makes no sense. Why are they all surprised? There are kids that put up, like, like a cardboard cutout of Michael Myers in front of his yard at the start of the movie. But that's, and the, well, the dad knows.

The dad's in on it. So he's like taking it down before that family can see it, you know. How long do you think he could keep that under ramps, though? You know, I think he thinks quite a long time. I think he's an idiot. Well, he's a big idiot. He's like a C grade Biff Tannen. There's a kid in elementary school in your house.

People are telling him. I'm sorry. Exactly. The second that kid goes to school, oh, you fucking live in the haunted murder house. That's cool. Because, yeah, it's him, his wife, his daughter, who has a young son, I guess she's come back at a teenage son named like Tony or something. Tim. And this teenage son, this is a real fucking, what's the character on The Simpsons there?

Oh, Roy. He's a real Roy. Like, hey, Roy, this dude's like, oh, tubular, Mr. S. You know what he doesn't? You know, it's not so tubular about this guy? He just watches his sister get beat up at the breakfast table. It doesn't do shit. What the fuck?

He gives a, hey, get your hands off. He's like, God, this, Tim. And like nothing. You stay out. Because it's kind of like, Eric, your favorite scene in a history of violence where like they're sitting down with Naomi Watts. And it's like, well, that's why you're a baby die inside, Joel. You know, like the dad's being really shudder. Eastern promises.

Eastern promises, I apologize, yes. Yeah, no, it's a, it's a touching, touching moment. She's saying, like, get, I don't want you here. Yep. Get the fuck out of here with your stupid. bastard child. And he's just like trying to eat cereal, dude, just a little baby kid.

Yeah, and this dad is aggravated for like seemingly it's one of those like, oh yeah, don't talk to your family for five years. They come crawling back and you expect us to roll out the red carpet. Just shut the fuck up and drink your coffee. Noddy-da, you have family. He calls his grandson a bastard

like right in front of him. It's like, oh man, I cannot wait for inevitably when Michael Myers murders this guy. But setting up one of many plot lines It just gets dropped Like a fucking bad habit This kid, after his mother gets slapped in the face Takes a knife to this guy's stomach

It's about to cut him up like a goose And you're like, oh, this kid's a bit creepy Like, you know, maybe the Myers curse something something Well, producers cut cut in here again Oh, please. So to backtrack like one scene earlier Like that previous night The little kid hears a voice like

You know, kill for him Tommy or whatever his name is. Danny, yeah, kill for him, Danny. And he wakes up and he's like, Mommy, the talking man's here. In the producer's cut, he hears that again. Oh, okay. Kill for him, Danny.

Like, out of nowhere. Oh, okay. Which they don't explain in this movie and talk about dropping shit, this, like, voice that he hears. Yeah, it's just there. So that he's there, he's got a knife on Biff Tannen's gut.

So they go, everybody goes off to have their day. It's Halloween day. You start the day off with some domestic violence, which is the way to, you know, that's going to put a fucking spring and everybody's... Dude, it was the 90s. Okay. Some verbal assault.

Yeah, yeah, it's nice. Nice. The kids goes to school. He meets up with his girlfriend. Yeah, she's just a real dead meet. They're all going to the same Haddonfield Junior College. Yikes. Fake. I hate when these things...

Wait, did you just say, this fake towns, fake college is fake? No, it's just, it's one of those things where, like, when you are doing sequel after sequel and, like, you're trying to expand the universe, and it's like, well, of course Haddonfield would have a junior college. What are you talking about? They sure at least call, like, the, you know, the counties community college. Yeah, or, like, you know, Crystal Lake High or some stupid shit. Maybe he just has a fucking job.

Like, I care. There should be, like, a technical institute where all these mechanics go where Michael can get those mechanic jumpsuits at the beginning of every movie. Right next door to the Max Mask Factory. Oh, wow, you graduated from Haddonfield Junior College. Now you're going to work over at the Haddonfield Mask Factory, huh? You got two options to Mask Factory or the mechanics place. Oh, dude, maybe it's Silver Shamrack opens up a factory.

Oh, that could be tied it right back in? I think they're trying to, I think they, you know, the whole Celtic thing and the rooms. I would say, yeah. I think they're trying to tie it into the third one, kind of. Yes, I would agree with that. Which is fuck all pointless. Exactly. because everyone knows

runes are inherent to Norse mythology and they should be using Norse magic. Well, they also say the only person in the entire six movies of the first Halloween where Sowan keeps coming up. Even Donald Pleasant's called it Sam Hain.

You think he'd be classy enough to get it right. Like it's like some guy in your biology class. Mr. Hane, are we paying attention? Someone wake up, Mr. Hane. It's the festival of Sam Hain. It's his birthday.

Mr. Hayne, you do not own that desk. Stop writing on it. So they go there. Donald Pleasance goes to see the hospital there. Right. And at this point, Tommy Doyle goes to the bus station, because that's where he thought the lady was. He finds this trail of blood.

I mean, this bus station, I don't know what this janitor is up to, but he's doing a bad job. What are you talking about? Just the janitor, this bus station in Haddonfield is open for business. I'm looking at you. Fucking ticket clerk.

I'm looking at you. All the bus drivers that are coming through. See something? Say something. A trail of blood that leads to the bathroom. A pool of it in one of the fucking faucets. Oh, I forget we forgot to mention

that Jamie the night before, after she makes the call, she goes, Michael, Michael meets her at the bus station. She hides the baby. She goes to a farmhouse and gets impaled on a thing. On a corn.

corn thresher. Yes. Corn thresher. We were looking for corn thresher. Do you hear about this? I worded it wrong. Do you hear about this? This young girl got impaled on a corn thresher.

Hear about this? He left it turned on. Which is fucking brutal, by the way, and not in the producer's cut. Producers cut cut in. He stabs her in the gut, and she lives,

and they take her to a hospital where she's only later assassinated by the man in black. the dude comes into the room and shoots her in the head like fucking Don Corleo Okay point theatrical Yeah

Oh big time Point theatrical on that one And the hat man is also the one Shown to be telling those kids To kill their family Yeah And somehow that dude's like The universe's greatest ventriloquist

Because he's throwing that voice All over that house This is like the shadow people He is and he's in at the end of five He's the one that rescues Michael Myers And you're like Ooh that's gonna get paid off In six years in a movie

That doesn't have anything to do do with this movie. Can't wait for that happen. Oh, going to hold my breath for that sequel. They should have just made it like his friend who's like a cowboy slasher. Like I heard about your crimes out west and I was

I blew into this town. Dude, it would have been great. I cut people up on Veterans Day. Not 14 days later. Remember your veterans. What about what's the dude's name from Jason Goes to Hell? Duke something?

Oh, the Bounty Hunter. It should have been that guy. It was very similar, right? That's what I thought they were going when they showed that guy springing them out. One thing that I read on the IMDB Tribune, because this is a copious trivia series. Oh, you'll spend a good 30 minutes reading this thing. Actually, it might have been in the Wikipedia Gazette. It's apparently Donald Pleasance in an interview with Fangoria magazine.

Nice, dude. Fango exclusive. It really was touting the script for Part 6. I thought it was going to be great, one of the best movies he's ever done. I just like the idea of, like, Donald Pleasant's always talking to Fend... Oh, it's my good friends at Fangoria Magazine. Come on in. Oh, hello, Alex and David. He knows where his bread is buddy.

Oh, totally. Well, that's why he's doing the sixth Halloween movie. Slash! How you doing? Slash. Oh, yeah, they're photographer slash. Well, yes, I'll take a picture in front of the Severn Head. Oh, God.

I'm a classically trained actor. How fun. Oh, me, right next to a dead doll of me. God, you just feel so fucking bad for him sometime. I mean, he wasn't like... All right, I'll take a picture with Robert England. Oh, ew, Anglin. Robert, could you just take it down a notch with the Axe Body Spray?

Yeah, I could see that happening. You're covered in hot plastic. all day. You got to spray yourself down with something. He finds this baby in a dumpster and he's like, oh, I'm crazy. I'm going to call you Stephen. I'm like, okay. Stephen, that name suits you. I was like, are you going to

eat this baby? Yeah. Well, what else would you call a dumpster baby? That's actually true. Oh, no. Oh, no. So, yeah, now he's just in possession of this child, by the way. He takes it back to the boarding house he lives in.

He's just walking around with this baby. He goes to hospital's like my baby sick man and this lady's like I'm going to call security that scene makes no sense because I'm like what's the end game here like he security never comes I think it's one of the problems with Haddonfield

whatever this town's name Haddon Field Haddon Field of the Haddnfeld is the guy that runs the delicatessen in Haddenfeld Haddenfeld is the horror movie about nothing bong Ra, ra, ra, ra.

Michael, he's like the creamery comes in, I like that idea. Oh, nice, maybe Dahmer's George. Michael, I'm sick and tired of you coming in here and killing all my girlfriends. You get the hell out of here! Stop eating all my girlfriend's heads.

I'd watch that. I would watch that. Jerry, you got to go pick up her. I left brains in her apartment. If you've tasted the brains, why do you need them? Anyway, let's continue. Now, I thought the, I mean, it doesn't matter,

but I thought that the security guards do chase him out of there. Because he runs into doctor, it's one of those like, oh, Dr. Loomis, what are you doing here? You know, and he's like, who are you, friend? Did I meet you at Fangoria Khan, 1991? He's responding like he's an NPC and an RPG. Yes, he does Do you want to see my wares

Or do you have something for me Oh, you're gonna need more coins than that This is a pricey potion, traveler He goes away, goes back Who are you, friends? This is a pricey potion traveler Like, oh fuck this guy's got nothing new to tell me Fuck you, Donald Pleasence

I guess I'll talk to the mushroom guy I'll see you at the festival tonight Yeah, I'll see you at the festival Well, in such a wish, and he's like, he's like, oh, meet me tonight at the campus rally at 9 o'clock. And he's like, all right, party on, dudes. I was going there anyway. Who else is going to bring the beer bond?

Listen, now, you're a kid with a baby you found. This is an adult doctor that you know of. Give the baby to him. But he doesn't because he sassed that fucking counter lady and she called security on him. Paul Rudd would be better off putting this baby in the next garbage he finds it. I mean, like, really, he's a crazy guy, he lives at a rooming house. Yeah.

Well, with what winds up happening, yeah, totally. That baby has quite the wild ride. Just put it in like a little, like, bed thing and throw it in a river. Yeah, it'll get caught in the reeds. It'll be fine. Yeah, American Moses. Have you learned nothing from the cobble pots? Yes.

Wow, you know what? Eviscerating point. Who knows what would happen to that baby. We come back, he's like, I'll meet you at the cool party. See you at the Moon Tower, Bros. Oh, don't wear you a better than Ezra T-shirt. I'm wearing mine. All right, all right, all right.

These horror girls go always get younger and I stay the same. No, I get older. of these final girls yeah there we go we cut to back to the Myers house and the mother who is by the way she's in True Grit Kim Darby

Kim Darby We're talking about the newer one Not the John Wayne one No the John Wayne one Yeah she's the She's the girl She's the girl She's the girl

But she's more importantly The professor in Teen Wolf too In case you're one Yes that's right We're talking about the MTV show No, we're talking about previous episode, Teen Wolf 2, right? But, two O's. So he, she's like preparing the house for her abusive husband and she's like, oh, oh, that's right.

Dr. Louis comes here and he goes, he has a big day of it. He goes to her house and he's like, he breaks in. She's like doing laundry. He's like, hello, I would like talk to you about the church of Michael Myers. It's so awesome. like she like flat out shits her pants and he's like oh hello mrs strode how are you doing she's like crying like staring at this scarred old man he tells her uh the thing that everybody in the town knows that she's in the strode house oh that's why everyone keeps looking at me at the grocery

store i'm sorry the michael meyer's house also they're the strode's this happened to their like it's in the family yeah this is clearly a family that doesn't talk about much at the holidays what is this father doing is it's like a dog tooth situation should be. It might be. Oh my God, I'm going to force my family to live in this fucking murder house as a weird social experiment. He's just burning letters from the outside in the

backyard. Exactly. Yes, that cat is a monster. And also, someone might come to the door and murder us all. We'll see what happens. All of a sudden, the little kid, like, sees an airplane. He's like, oh, no, no. That would be awesome. And he has to keep bringing people. Like,

the sun starts getting old enough, so he So it's bringing this girl in from the community college to have sex with him secretly. Nice. So he doesn't start having sex with the family members because he has no idea what's going on. It's about time dad hooked you up, man. By the way, gentle listeners, watch dog tooth. So he tells her the scoop. She calls her husband.

She's like, I can't believe you put us in this murder house. I'm going to go stay anywhere else for Halloween for at least one day on Halloween, which makes a good deal of sense. I'm taking the kids you should come with us. And he's like, ah, shit, come on. Oh, by the way, a nice homage to the mother and father of the Halloween franchise. Oh, fuck this. This mother and father, Cammy, uh, combo is Deborah and John for Deborah Hill and John Carpenter. God.

I'm sure John Carpenter's like, thanks for making me the abusive asshole husband. Yeah, exactly right. Thanks for making me the Halloween universe is Bif Tan, and I really appreciate that. Well, it's accurate. So he starts drinking at work, and she winds up getting killed by Michael Myers. weird enough. This is the dumbest, most frustrating kill of the movie because, like, he shows up in the house,

and she's like, oh, oh, oh. She's terrible at acting scared. And then, like, she runs out of her own house and, like, moves away. Of course, laundry is on, like, a drying line thing or whatever. She moves aside a sheet, and there's a fence, and she's, like, shocked at the appearance of this fence. She's like, where did that fence come from?

And then she turns around and falls open. and her glasses fall off and she's getting like crushed by sheets and I'm like crushed by sheets she can't get away from these sheets that are just covering her this laundry is consuming her and I'm like you live here yeah you know how to get out of your own backyard it's a laundry line it's not Akira like the thing isn't going to tangle it's stop it watching this woman struggle at a slow pace by the way because any kind of like action choreography this movie is terrible wasn't there a cool laundry scene in the original Like there was a closing line He's like standing behind it Yeah exactly And I'm not sure if he's Also yeah I guess that's another Great, that's great

You know what Chris It's another brilliant nod I think there's also a laundry sequence In Friday the 13th part five Yeah maybe it's part five One of them there movies There's a good The laundry sequence of Batman Forever

Which I really appreciate Is it really? Yeah when he's doing karate laundry Remember that? He's got a laundry machine though right? Oh man these rich kids So she gets murdered

And this is the beginning of like Everyone in this road house Doesn't give a shit about anybody No one's talking to any I mean we're in it's pre-self Yeah we're not texting each other How's your day going? Right

But like nobody knows Like What's her face comes home? Kara Kara who's the mother of Danny Comes home from school And she's like ah Where's my mom?

Hey mom you're home I want to make a sandwich or whatever And like there's this long shot of like we don't know what's going on and like we're walking up and down the stairs and like I kind of wanted to cut to in she goes in her room and Michael Myers is just jerking off on her bed

oh you're early I gotta do the sound effects in the set oh I see that's Michael Miles jerking off I was going to be eerily in the closet but I do I usually do this first you're really early oh no I looked at the wrong day

on your schedule you posted on the fridge Oh, I thought today was Thursday. Well, look, you left out a picture of your dead dog. What do you think of you here? Well, hot and bothered by this dead dog. But that doesn't happen. No, she goes in and actually, creepier for her. Speaking of jerking off.

It's fucking Paul Rudd hanging out with her son in just in this room. The son is sitting on one side of the bed playing with a dinosaur. Paul Rudd is on the other side of the bed playing with a baby. Like, he's holding the baby. And it's like, dude, if you walked in a... your room. And there's the known neighborhood weirdo who stares at you from his boarding

house window. Like her reaction is so not appropriate. She's like, scream. What are you doing here? Like that's, oh, you. She should be screaming. I would scream. Especially since he was videotaping you get naked. Yes. Exactly. At that moment. He's playing

a dumb teenager and most dumb teenagers break the thing of flower that represents a child. Right? That's true. That I just think this baby should die in Paul Rudd's care. You know what? Well, then something would happen in this movie.

It would be different. It was a radical turn for the Halloween. Exactly. You're like, where's Michael Myers going to kill that baby? Oh, wait, Paul Rudd did? Oh, negligence killed that baby. Well, that's the same thing in the, sorry to keep popping on it, but in the producer's cut, when the other guy kills Jamie,

I'm like, that's for Michael Myers to do. Why did this dude just shoot someone in the head? Wrong movie. Yeah. Oh, sorry, I went to the wrong movie. This franchise doesn't have assassinations. This is not an assault on precincts 13 sequel. I'm in the wrong John Carpenterverse.

I asked for Vanilla Swirl, blammo. Oof. Yeah. So they're like, Tommy's like, look, I'm here because by the way you live in the Myers house. I was just like, say, what? Like, yeah, you really do. Do we even get the explanation, though? Isn't it just more of like a come with me if you want to live?

kind of thing. Yeah. She's like, hey, come. The safest place of the world is across the street. Yeah. And she's just like, we're supposed to stay here. You don't even see him being like, here's what's going down. When we do finally get to Paul Rudd's bedroom, we get to see the coolest thing in this movie by far. Oh, please. The Macintosh Stone Tablet. No. Above his bed, he has a poster of Vim Vendor's, the American friend. And I lost my first. fucking break. My mind flew out of my head. I watched this movie twice in 24 hours. It's partially obscured by something, but you can see, you know, VimVendors, and you

could see part of the title. That's awesome. For people at home listening who don't know what that is, it's a great movie starring Dennis Hopper and Bruno Gans, who you only know from those Hitler videos. Oh, he's playing Hitler in the downfall. The downfall meme. Yeah, yeah, right, right, right. Right, right. He turns out he's also an actor.

Yeah, he's been into, it turns out he's a good actor. Yes. Yeah, that's right. I didn't notice it because it was obscured by all his homeland-esque Michael Myers conspiracy theory, horse shit that's all over his room. Yeah, and he sits there down and he's like, oh man, the festival of Sam Hain, man, it's coming up. And we're talking about like this fucking eye of thorn or whatever the shit. And he's brought like constellations into it. Some crazy fucking program on his computer. Oh, of course, there's a computer program.

Able to bring all these stupid fucking symbols. Mind sweep. Look, I was playing mind sweep, and I actually cleared this field, and when I did, I figured out the curse of Thorne. I touched a bomb. The curse of Thorne is basically, I don't know, like, I don't know, it's a curse from Celtic lands. He's got to kill his whole family.

He's like the perpetrator, like, he is the evil one. He's curse. This is what's stupid about all this. This is like, they're making it so, like, he's cursed. So all of a sudden, he's not this, like, embodiment of pure evil, weird, ambiguous thing that they do in the first movie. Yeah, like, now he's just this poor guy that got a curse put on him by this evil doctor. Feel bad for him. He's, fuck you, dude.

This guy's a madman. A killing machine. A killing machine. Like, don't try to explain it away is he some victim. That's the thing I've always hated about this. You know, Michael, I heard you're part of a Celtic curse. Yeah, yeah. Oh, man.

So he's like, all right, you hang out in my creepy rooming house with the creepy rooming house lady, and I'm going to go meet up at Monster Fest with Donald Pleasance. It's Monster Fest, Rob Zombies playing. And what's her fit? So we cut to this festival where in. Barry Sims, who's a character nobody wanted him. Nobody gives a shit. The shock jock.

Yes. Shock jock is there. And, like, he, the girl, the brother's girlfriend there is like, oh, we want to, like, what is her goal? She's like, oh, I want to, like, forget about the curse of Michael Myers. Yeah, this is her whole thing is, this is like her, I'm a college student and I have to get, like, politically active in something.

Junior college. Oh, whoa. Whoa. So she's like, listen. I'm on a campaign to bring Halloween back to Haddonfield. She even robs in, like, you know, it's hurting our economy, like, businesses are failing because we don't have Halloween. Like, this whole, like, it's our right to celebrate Halloween here. Yeah, she's the Kevin Bacon, I guess. That's right.

She is, yeah. And, I mean, there's a Halloween here! Put that candy cart away! Dad, I just want to spook out for one night. night. Get in your room, young lady. Anyone see his Campbell's chicken soup commercial?

What? Does he play the little kid that turns, that's the snowman that turns into a little boy? Because that's such an old commercial Progresso chicken soups. Oh, progressor is chicken soup now.

It's the best chicken soup you'll eat. I've never seen that. I have not seen that. I have seen his nude ass in person. Yes. It was in a play. I was going to. Keep telling yourself that.

I lived across from John Lithgow one summer. I had a really nice camera. I was in a boarding house one summer. It was a good play. So, Mr. Siska, aside from that, how was to play? Well, he played a diplomat that I had an affinity for sex with Russian teens or some such. Oh, that's cool. Yeah.

So the shock. It was good. It was good. It was nice. You're talking about the play, right? The play was nice. Yeah, yeah, sure, sure. I'm still not sure he's just talking about looking across the street at Lithgow's bedroom.

I'm at the theater. All these Russian teenagers. I wish I could afford to live adjacent to his bedroom. The shock jock. The shock jock is like, oh, you know, she's trying to use the shock jock to further her cause. The shock jock says something. vaguely, you know, he's like, oh, you wear crotchless panties and bark like a dog. Aruga.

Oh, he got her again. That Barry Sims, you coyote. Stands up, slow clap. I like the idea, like, because Paul Rudd does run. He's like, Dr. Loomis, there's a baby. You got to come. He's right away, Tommy. He's like, no, no, wait.

He's going to, the vomit guy is coming up. Next, he's going to vomit on the front row. He can make himself do it on cue. Can you imagine? Here comes Vinnie the Varmatorium. That little person's going to have sex with a woman. I can't leave now. Could you imagine?

The dog is going to eat peanut butter off of what? Oh, my goodness. Just a minute, Tommy. I know there's a madman on the rampage, but I have to get my t-shirt signed. So he's like, in the course of this interview, Barry Sims finds out that she, that her boyfriend lives at the Myers house.

Oh, that's where we're going to record the rest of the show. And like, he starts calling up his agent. Well, they also say no, but he's like, no, no, it's happening. And I have to, I got to put a clock on something right now. Oh, he says, you know, like, where's your house? And the kid, the kid, Tim, who is finding out on the air what the situation, she says it. And he's like, wait, what? I live in the what?

Oh, okay. So he's like, how far away is your house? And he's like a half mile. And Barry Simps says, okay, I will be there in five minutes. Just keep that in mind. Okay. So Barry Sims is in the parking lot of this fucking festival. I put up the ticking clock on the screen.

And he's talking shit to his age and he's like, oh man, we can't wait to record the rest of this at that pussy Michael Myers' house? And where do you get pussy from? Like, you know, like... Yeah. Like, have you killed more people? Is that what you're trying to say, Barry Sims?

Like, asshole, sure. Like, he's a dick. I don't like Michael Myers. Dic. Maniac. Yeah, he's not a pussy. Oh, he's emasculating Michael Myers. My two worlds are colliding. I don't know what to do with this.

Oh, he'll do me next. Riff away. Oh, he got me good. That's aficerated by Barry, Sim. That cut to the core, Barry. Too deep, Barry. Too deep. We only roast the ones we love.

I don't even know So yeah Barry gets killed He gets like hung in a tree or something Well he gets into a van And this is It's one of these useless things When you're watching different cuts of movies

You're like what does it matter Why did you cut this out Theatrical he gets in his van And Michael Myers is in there And he gets murdered Because he's just got an affinity for cars And he's just checking out the latest That's right

The latest creep van That he's going to steal It's just a corona But in the producer's cut he gets in the car and the camera it takes a quarter of a second just pans to the left and you see that it's a Smith's Grove van oh okay and you're like oh shit here it comes like it doesn't matter either way but like why are you cutting out interesting details wait so the DJ's van is from the sanitarium no no no the DJ gets in the wrong car

oh okay is the situation I thought it was like Dr. Loomis is like I'm gonna put you on the payroll work for me, Barry. He needs someone to drive him around. I'll do it, Barry. I'll do it. I've got a weekend gig driving Barry around. Because you see like earlier in the movie a van with like the Barry Sims poster on it

and it's like it's like the Blues Brothers. He's like Barry Sims program tonight at the community college or whatever. Why? For the 50 people who care. And he does something where he's like, I'm coming. I'm coming. I'm coming tonight.

I didn't feel that I'm just I'm laughing Oh yeah I'm laughing So he winds up he's dead We come the girl The girl and the guy go back to the Strode house Oh by the way We're cutting out the dad's death Which is the best death of the movie

Oh right He comes home and he starts drinking more And he's looking for us like Deborah Where's dinner? You know he's doing that thing Five across the eyes If I don't see a steak soon He goes downstairs

He gets killed by Michael Myers But he's drinking and he's like Oh I guess the boogieman did the house This is also another laundry sequence. Now there's a beaten-up laundry machine that's on for some reason. And now, was anybody else- That's what lures him to the basement? Was anybody else faked out by this?

So, like, Biff Tannen opens this washer, and there's, like, bloody sheets in it? Weren't you expecting the mother to be, like, stuffed in there? I thought so, too. Wouldn't that have been something? But why is Michael Myers doing laundry? There should be a bloody jumpsuit in there. Just another gas station attendance jumper? permanent press

or white and colors tumble dry low I can tell you Michael Myers would not use the delicate setting Oh it's always to 10 Well you don't need it What with all the jumpsuits

With holes in them I mean I but I will say As opposed to killing myself In a horror movie I want to be the drunk Lout that is talking shit Right before he gets killed Oh Toby

You will be Yeah I'm sure I will Our next live show October 21st, come on out Oh man, if you got murdered that night It's like the opening of Scream 2 It's all part of the show, folks Yeah, don't worry

That's what we'll say It's the only time I've ever been compared to Omar Epps Yeah, he just kills this dude He starts shocking him, right? Like he puts up against the laundry machine He uses like a live wire And his head explodes Which is awesome

And point theatrical, that's cut out of the producer's cut I screamed in my house when that happened. Not that I was afraid. No, no, no. It was a what? This is so ridiculous. Why? And what's awesome is there's definitely some shots where you're like, that's a puppet of this guy. That's a puppet of this guy.

Which they keep in the producers cut. And I was like, why is it a puppet? Because in that one, he just kind of like slumps over, like, oh, I got electrocuted. And he dies. And I was like, why was there a puppet in there? And then he watched that and you're like, oh, because he gets scannered. And

So later they come in They think Barry's on his way Five minutes And the power is cut And they're like Oh let's light some candles And fuck Five fucking minutes

That's what I'm saying Come on You got a whole radio show Coming and this guy's a shock jock He's gonna bring it up on the air Can you imagine This shock jock gets there And he catches you having sex

It's all he's gonna be Roasting you about For the rest of the night Also, when he doesn't get there, and, you know, that's just like a brief commercial break. Who's doing the show? Dr. Lubis jumps in. Oh, my God. It's my moment in the sun.

Baba, Barry, Papa Barry. Hosting the Barry Sims show. Sitting in for the immortal Barry Sims. It's like when David Letterman filled in for Johnny. Okay, what are you wearing, sweetheart? Sounds sexy. This is loose loomis. Loose Loomis.

Ew. Paul Rudd's like, come on, we got to go. No, no, one more minute. I have a small Johnson as well. Would you like to see my horribly scarred chest? And Johnson. It's been scarred. My favorite cut in any movie is we cut back to

So they're about to have sex We cut back to Paul Rudd and Loomis They're in the parade or whatever And he's like, where's the baby Tommy? Where's the baby? And they cut from Where's the Baby To them literally having sex It's on its way

And this other Kara is across the street It's like, you know, I probably should call home because this guy told I'm staying here because I know my whole family's in danger and it's been hours I should give maybe a shit

about anybody and like I know you hate your dad and he punched you in the face at the breakfast table that guy can go sure but see what mom's up to they were tight right oh yeah where's Tim

what's Tim doing she does notice there's a light on so they of course after sex you have to go take a shower immediately oh you gotta wash it right off

like within seconds you need to do that. And I think it's a thing, because he's got some line where he's like, I've got to stay fresh. And I was like, for Barry Sims? And this shit house? What do you stay in fresh for? You just fucked in a shithole mass murderer's house.

If I just had sex with somebody, they took a shower immediately and they weren't going to work, which is already scheduled. I'd be like, okay, fuck you too. You know what I mean? Yeah, I got to wash you right off of me, sweetheart. Oh, boy. So you're saying he got Right out of bed

After coming And showered you right off, baby That sounds like a real loser Drop the zero And get with the hero I loose Loomis Would revel in your essence Eelous

Louis Hey Fred Do we have an appropriate drop To play for that I love it Why don't you masturbate on the phone That's why they call me the king of all media We're listening

Yeah Oh man So he gets killed He gets his throat slit Kind of slowly which is a little uncomfortable For my taste It's weird but you know this dude should have been tipped off And I'll tell you why

he gets out of the shower and he's like hey babe give me a towel I'm freezing I was like first of all I know you're not you just turned off the shower I can see the steam everywhere second

when someone then like immediately hands you a towel and he's got the mark of thorn tattoo on his wrist and it's clearly a dude in a gas station attendants jumpsuit also the smell of rot and swamp oh there's rot swamp

that's a great point Michael Myers must smell like shit it's not like oh I don't know he's in the room like this guy's never showered. In the beginning of the fifth, he's never wiped either. That was part of the psychosis. He tried to kill his whole

family and he didn't wipe his ass. That's when you jump in the shower. Oh, Michael, maybe you should try wiping your ass. Hang up on that loser. Hang up on him. Oh, I got him good. Oh, now I'm sitting on the CBN. Oh, God. Now I know what all the fuss is about.

It's stupid So he gets killed And then the girl gets killed And the carer across the way It's like oh my God And then Danny's getting like Some story by this old lady That's running the rooming house

Which is something This is when Danny walks across the street She's like Can you believe those people got murdered Oh where's my son Oh he's walking across to the murder house Yeah And she goes in

And she's taking her time going If your son is going into a murder. her house. You have to be screaming, running around, trying to find this kid. She's like, Danny, hey, hey, Danny, get back here. Don't make me come up there. Are you dead? If you're dead, I won't go up there. You're so grounded. Stomp twice for dead. So she goes up there with like a fireplace poker and whatnot. Michael Myers takes a tumble down the stairs at this point. It's a great fall.

He's down for the count for a while. I mean, usually it's like you got to shoot these monsters in the face. I mean, this is just a hard fall down the stairs. Took a spill. He did. A real wipeout. It's a big woof at the end of that one. Joe Pesci took more at home alone, to be quite honest.

That's true. Maybe he had the curse of Thorne. Well, they kept getting back up, too. Yeah. Those dudes should have been long dead in that movie. There shouldn't have been a sequel. That's how you rob that many suburban homes in Chicago is Irish curses. Why doesn't I do whatever cut off fucking Michael Myers' head?

You know what? Let's just see what that looks like for a while. He's down. Let's just start. Use serrated blade and go for it. Stay tuned for Halloween H2O. Oh, okay. Which then they immediately retract.

Yeah. Yeah, it's a little bit of a dupe. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. But seriously, though, get down with a hacks on and cut these people's hands off. Yeah, please. They go across the street.

There's the Michael Myers, Tom Fuller. He gets up. He follows them. They go across the street. And wouldn't you know it? Wyn, who's been set up in one fucking scene in a theatrical cut. Is there with all these Irish goons, I guess? In robes, you know, part of a, I guess, a black mask, they call it.

Yeah. Yeah. Although Johnny Depp was there with his weird blue eyes. Stupid haircut That movie sucks It was him from Black Mass and him from the Ninth Gate both of them I'm a miserable

book collector I'm a miserable Irish mobster Let's talk about hairstyles Somehow I'm in movies Let's bring back the devil In both of the movies So She's about to get kidnapped

She takes a swan dive out the window This is the most gleeful I've seen someone jump through a glass window. I mean, it is just like, it's hard. Talk about tumbles. So everybody gets kidnapped, and this is when the cuts really diverge is what I'm interested. This is when I cut to Twitter.

Goodbye movie. I will stick on the theatrical cut. So she wakes up in a hospital room. It looks like the same hospital room that Jamie might have been in or something thereabouts. I mean, we're back in Smith's Grove. It's a poorly lit mental hospital. there's two people working there

again. And apparently no like other patients locked up there. No, no, no, no. Is this place out of business? Is that why he's trying to bring Loomis back? It's fucking funny farm. I mean, that's a cool thing. Is like all the other boogeymen recovered?

Yeah, I mean, he's the last one. He's got to be. That would be a cool thing though. If like here's the fucking sixth movie of this shit, like, we got to go back there. Oh, it's been abandoned for years. That's creepy and spooky. And it legitimizes the fact that the set design of this movie looks like a fucking tool video. Yeah, it really does.

And Paul Rudd and Loomis are outside the house. They wake up. They get drugged. And Loomis is like, I know who's playing the game. And I know where he wants to play it. Oh, man. Just get on with it, Pleasance. So they get there.

And like, basically, they wind up. Loomis confronts Wynn in his office. and there's this scene in the scene that I saw the theatrical cut wherein basically like Wynn is like, oh, it's great. I kind of don't even know what he says. It's so just, it's so nothing. He's like, well, my plan's almost complete. You're like, what the?

And then like a couple of goblins like go in and beat him over the head. Goblin, Bob. Well, they're like, oh, we want you to join the cult. And he's like, I clearly wouldn't do that. That doesn't make a whole lot of sad. Why on earth would you think what with my track? record, it would be this easy to convert me. I mean, I figured, you know, your patient, your star patient keeps killing

people. You're somehow, you're somehow involved in this. No, you, wait, you're trying to tell me that you were legitimately failing that much? I thought you were unleashing him on your victims. I thought he's your handler. Everyone makes mistakes, gentlemen. So he... I'm just a bad doctor. My real calling is the FM dial. I've forged all my medical certificates. No, Barry.

I have the run of the place. We could turn this medical hospital into a sick FM radio station. Oh, I've got it. Loose Loomis' asylum of freaks on the mornings. Man, that's the fucking morning show. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Some people get dirty in the morning.

So he gets knocked out and Paul Rudd finds the hallway where she's in, she's yelling. A Kara is yelling at this point. And he takes forever to break the door open with a fire extinguisher. Oh, man. And it's like those obnoxiously long family guy gags. That's what it feels like. Like, he keeps banging it, looking back, and Michael Myers is, like, still coming for him. And he's like, oh, okay.

Bang, bang, bang. Is he still there? Oh, okay. He's really making use of what he understands Mike. I mean, he's an expert. So he knows, like, Michael Myers' time. He's like, Steve, he's got a whole computer program devoted to it. He's like, I got 48 minutes until he gets within arm's reach.

And, you know, that's it. What's the deal with he walks into that other room and there's that weird lady there? And she's like, it's too late. And, like, she's been stabbed in the gut and falls over. File that under one of the many scenes and characters that doesn't make any sense. It's either cut of this movie. She's only in the theatrical one. It makes no sense.

So, uh, they start running around. Uh, they, they lead, uh, into a, uh, a surgery theater. Right. Because Wynn is like showing off something to all of these. It's like a team of government so-and-sos. Evil people. sir. Yeah, it's still got a bit of a mystical vibe, but it is more

clinical and clerical. Like, there's the one dude who still has, like, the ridiculous Druid costume still on. We're not doing that anymore. He's like, you can take that off. Halloween's over. Oh, does he say that? Yeah. That's stupid. Steve, this is the reshoot.

What I do? What I do it? The Celtic ruin thing anymore? You're supposed to just be wearing a suit and a lab coat, not dressed up like a druid? See, they're witch doctors, as in doctors who are witches, I think, is what they're getting me. I see, yeah, that's really, that's, yeah. And I'm still the worst doctor in this room. You guys actively kill people with your doctor's degree, but somehow I'm worse. You may be witch doctors.

I'm witch doctors. With an H, as in, what am I even doing? You little motherfuckers are killers. I make the killers. Yeah, he's like, he could be king's shit. He could have played it. He should have, he should have, like, gotten in with the cult and take it down from the inside once he's like king shit, you know?

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Your kills are all on purpose. Mine are all total botched jobs. I'm the Frank Trebin. He totally is. But he could have played, yeah, he could have been like, he's like, I'm actually the puppet master.

No one would buy that person. He had nice to try loomis. Oh, then I better get out of here. So, Myers goes into the medical theater with a medical machete, sure. It's sterile. Yeah, show me a doctor using this thing. And he just kind of hacks them all up off screen. That's like, that was, I read on the Tribune, that was like a ratings thing.

They were like, you can't show all this gore. Put in a strobe light and cut it up real good. Yeah, so that happens. So Wynn dies off screen or maybe he doesn't die off screen. I don't know. I don't think you see him get killed. And he's like apparently the most important character in this movie question mark. He was the fucking phantom menace.

You got to show that dude dying. What are you doing making this movie? You teased him in the fifth movie. Apparently not really, but like, you know, you at least tied that together. Well, they hadn't yet cast Chris's uncle in the role, but, like, someone was the man in black. I mean, he was ready to go. So you can tell. He told you at Christmas.

They, uh, so they're running down this hallway, and there's a lot of a T2, uh, medic, like, gates that they, they closed. Um, he keeps breaking down. And he pushes this to my favorite death of the movie. And it's so brutal as Michael Myers put, like, because all these doctors die, except for one guy is running. And he's kind of running with the rest of the group. Hey, can I be in the movie? Hey, you guys are the last ones to live. right, so I'll be with you guys.

It's like, Paul Rudd the baby, the kid and Kara and this like doctor who's just like can't keep up because these are even cut in the stomach. Why don't you give me the baby? That don't make it harder. That don't make it harder for him to kill me. Let me hold the baby. But they lock this guy in with Myers and Myers pushes this guy's face through the gate and like just pushes so hard that like the whole gate door just falls down. That dude is dead. It feels good to do that to someone.

You can tell. Well, yeah, less said the better. They wind up in some like, some bullshit carney freak show. There's all these fetuses in a room and covered in green goo. Oh, it's like the set of an X-Files episode. And they're like, oh, it all makes sense now. No, it doesn't. They do a close-up on this fetus and this like green tank.

And I'm waiting for this thing to be like, I was a guy around. I was waiting with bated breath for this fucking fetus to start talking. That puppet's got to at least turn its head. Maybe not say anything. Maybe they should all just, like, jump out of their little jars and start, like, climbing up Paul Rudd and killing him. Oh, my God, they're a bunch of little Michael Myers. It's like the cold open to Star Trek Beyond.

Yeah, totally. Exactly, Chris. And Myers gets here, and this is when Paul Rudd uses this green goop, like, to just to date him. Dude, it's the ooze. Yeah, it's just the ooze. Right. So he become, wait.

Michael Myers becomes half rat now or half turtle? I think it's half turtle. Well, it's the secret of Haddonfield's ooze. Hey, Joe, Joe, just, I mean, for my character, what is in those syringes? Yeah, whatever you want. Yeah, um, ecto cooler?

I don't know. Ecto cooler. Oh, it's, uh, it's a big jar of shut the fuck up and shoot to see. You know, enough? Do you give a fuck about this? Do you give a fuck about this? I'm asking you this. It's six syringes.

is full of I want to be home in time for dinner. So he gets it and like I mean there's a bunch of back and forth cat and mouse shit that I don't care about. But basically Paul Rudd beats Michael Myers' death with a pipe. Oh man, it's a real Haddonfield Street fight at the end of this movie. It's so stupid. I hate this because a little

wormy, Paul Rudd Paul Stephen Rudd. Paul Stephen Rudd. Was there another Paul Rudd in the Academy? What is that about? Is able to kill Michael Myers with a pipe. Yep. Meanwhile, thousands of movies.

Thousands. Two thousand. Him being shot, you know, kicked, punched, beaten, hit with a car, exploded. With, like, beef cakes, too. Like, these are, they're big dudes going after him. A lot of stuff. Luma's suicide bombs him in the second movie, and he's still dancing around.

So the fact that Paul Red can, Paul Stephen Red can do this is just bullshit. I think, actually, I've cracked the Paul Stephen Rudd thing. he did Clueless and this in the same year. So I think he's like, I'll be Paul Red for Clueless, Paul Stephen Red for that, which everyone's a better movie. That's what I'm going to be. Oh, wow, that's what decided it, huh? Smart move.

Yeah, so he just has like a dumb shit eating grin on his face. Like, I beat the thing that's tortured me my whole life. But I do have to say, he's got the right idea. If I was this person, I would be beating his head until it was nothing. He keeps going. There's some jelly coming out, too. He doesn't stop until he sees jelly. Like, you got to get Hacksaw Jim Duggan to come in here with you.

Finish that job. Do the full Krieger. You know, cut them up, put them in different trash cans, in different parts of the town. Right. Just like they did with William Wallace. Exactly. Michael Myers on that rack at the end of that movie. Oh, man.

Freedom. They sent his head to the Queen of England and his entrails to the four corners of the What is this? This is an interesting crowd. Dude, man, Halloween at Buckingham. Oh, yeah, totally. That's what we should have left Illinois at some point. You know, if we're looking for different things to do, let's go to the UK.

I think only one of the movies takes place outside. And that's H2O. H2O takes place in California. Nice. It's stupid, though. There's a bullshit thing. Oh, don't worry, it's stupid. Earlier in the movie when, like,

We're listening to that idiot's radio show. People are calling it with like... Loose Loomis? No, Barry, whatever. Barry Sims. He comes on right before Loose Loomis. Loose Loomis is the Midnight to Five slot. Someone calls it to Barry Sims.

They're doing like Michael Myers conspiracy theories. And he's talking about like, yeah, man. And then Michael Myers got hired by the CIA. And he's on the government payroll. And they couldn't control him. And they blasted him into space. And I was like, Jason X? Yeah.

Got like a nice little nod. Myers X. A better movie insanely Yeah, I'll say that And I fucking hate that So at the end of this Now Michael Myers is dead Beaten by Little Wormy Paul Stephen Rudd

And then Loomis decides I'm not going with you I've got a show to do They're all in Paul Rudd's Hip Red Jeep Cherokee That he's gone out of nowhere in this movie It's a wrangler but it's Oh yeah you're right actually

I think it's pretty cool But it's yeah He's just like he pulls up to this thing and he's like, come on, man, we're going to go haul ass to Lollapalooza, get in. And he's like, I don't get in cars without doors on them. But no, he's got some bullshit. Like, I still have some work to do.

Miles to go before I sleep or whatever the father. What if my cane falls out the door? There's nothing there. I don't get in cars with assholes either. By the way, out of curiosity, what the fuck is the point of that? baby or that little kid why am I here

who are these people what's the deal with this movie tell me Haddonfeld and then what's fucking so stupid about this and this is the theatrical cut is the re-shot ending

because Donald Pleasant's passed away so all this is is he says I have business to finish they drive off planet needs. I have to go now. I will say Haddonfeld, actually I'm casting Haddonfeld now.

It's obviously Mike Myers in the Kramer role. It's Loomis in the George role. Perfect. Jamie Lee Curtis as Elaine and of course Paul Rudd as Jerry. Yes, I like it. I think that's accurate. I was in the pool.

There you go. You know the name now. So you just hear like Donald Pleasants What you might have seen as running away Was leading Making sure it was clear Eric, what kind of name is that for a clown? You just hear

Like someone found audio from some movie of Donald Pleasant screaming It's Puma Man, I think Is he in Puma Man? He is in Puma Man. Oh shit. The great Mr. San Cedar They call him Puma Man, which is fun. Makes sense.

And so you just are to assume that Michael Myers killed him cut to a jack-a-lantern getting blown out. That's artistic. It would be great if the car had just driven away and then the entire thing exploded. It would make as much sense. The entire asylum. Lights right the fuck up.

This baby's gonna blow. Oh, no, no. You get it. It's the end of casino. there's one more this is one more chip is it the producer's cut

right if you don't mind it's a whole fucking kalimah shakti day shit where like when is in this cult the cult is there they're going to sacrifice this baby

and the girl too I think the girl the girl's going to be sacrificed she's also possibly going to be impregnated by Michael Myers there's a line

where the Kara this character says The baby's yours, isn't it, Michael? Which insinuates that this man fucked his fucking 15-year-old niece. Hey, you know what? Pretty cool movies. Well, weirder things have happened.

So that happens. The sacrifice. And then Michael Myers cuts into a rendition of great balls of fire. Kiss me, baby. They called him the killer. I'll follow that. Paul Stephen Rudd hilariously steals like a druid outfit and like sneaks down there like an Indiana Jones movie man. Well, this is better because you can't go casual cult. If you're doing cult, go full cult.

Yeah, don't tease me with a cult. That cult better have literally anything to do with the end of the movie. I agree with that for sure. And yeah, like the old woman is involved with it. Apparently, according to the Tribune, if you're watching the Pan and scan version, when she holds the knife up to them, she's got a little Curse of Thorne tattoo on her wrist too. Which and this is amazing because it's like you're filming this movie to be theatrically

released in widescreen. That's a great plot twist. You should frame your fucking shot so you can see the plot twist, you idiots. Yeah, seriously, I want Halloween 7 the old lady. Let me ask you something about this, Paul. Do you have kids?

I do. I have to get home to them. You know what? Why don't you fucking writing a new script for me And then I'll do that movie This dude was apparently like rewriting scenes Like on the set to Monday is Columbus Day I'm taking that off

And I want to get out of here early So I could really enjoy my weekend So just fucking wrap this movie up And they try to do the sacrifice It gets broken up Because Paul Rudd holds a knife To win's neck or some nonsense They escape

Paul Rudd does outright magic At the end of this movie He puts down a bunch of little runes in a circle. A dekew nuts. He tricks him and like basically powers down Michael Myers. And then he gets the slingshot. And they get in the, then it's the Jeep Cherokee scene. And then, you know.

Jeep Wrangler. I don't know. I just, I just know it's not a Cherokee. It's a trigger. I truly apologize to you and the Jeep Corporation. Yeah. Both Real American here. I'm pretty sure.

Maybe I'm wrong. It's the Jeep scene, and Loomis is like, I have more stuff to do, but in this movie, I'm actually going to do it. So he turns around, and he goes and Michael Myers is laying down. He's about to kill him, I think, right? He's going to go to hell tonight. They're going to finish the job. And he's like, Michael, it's over. It's over, Michael.

It's like, dude, the talking cure does not work on this monster, please. And he takes the mask off, and it's. win and Wynne starts laughing at him and then the whole thing is like magically Donald Pleasance gets the mark of Thorne cursed tattoo on his wrist and starts screaming. And then Michael Myers is actually dressed like the man in black. Right. And that's how he gets away. You know by his work boots. Yeah, his work boots and jumpsuit pants that you see. And that's the end of both of that's both of those movies. A thing I will say the producers cut has over the theatrical, the producers cut, they just use

John Carpenter's original score through the whole thing. Oh, wow. Not this fucking fart rock, whammy guitar horse shit. I hate it. I don't think that the score should ever be updated. Like, it should just be synth the whole time. And keep giving that musical genius money because that score is amazing.

Yeah, yeah. And yeah, it's like they update it with some fucking whammy bar shit. It just sounds, I mean, it sounds ripe for 1995. Well, it sure does. Uh, yeah. It's a wonder that Peter Jackson turned this down, huh? Yeah, That's right. I think, wasn't the Frightner's the same year?

Was it 95? Oh, was it later? Yeah, I think it is later. I would have liked to see what that looks like. A Peter Jackson Halloween movie? If somebody gave a shit about this movie? A director who knows what he's doing? Oh, you know what it would been, though?

Five hours long, seven endings. Yes, and I was going to add on to that list, Andy Circus and a mocap Michael Myers. I like that idea. I like that. Let's do that now. We should. Just mocap all these serial killers. No cap at all.

made it work for Snoke. And then the Jackalantron artistically blows out also. Both of these cuts are directed to Donald Pleasant, so he's rolling over in his grave. A dedicated to Donald's grave. What did I say? Directed by Donald's.

Oh, pardon me. Yeah, no, it's dedicated because he was dead. He died, well, he actually died before the reshoot. He died, like, in February, and then they're like, I saw the whole movie out. I thought it was really distasteful that they spelled dedicated DEA. 80.

Well, it's spookier that way. Well, come on, dimension films. That's just tasteless. I know it's a Halloween movie, but come on. Jesus Christ. Would anyone recommend either cut of this? No, it's a weaker point of the franchise.

It just doesn't make any gosh-durren sense. I mean, the producer's cut makes more sense. It pays off some of the stuff, but not all of it. Like, there is a movie here somewhere. I don't know where it is. I mean, complete is. do what you're going to do, but like... I feel like Complutives have already done it, unless some of

our younger listeners are just getting to the franchise. I'm talking to the youth, the youth that Eric is always, you know... See, Chris, there is a number of youths that listen. The youths. Yeah, they talk to me. And, you know, if you want to watch all of them, go right the fuck ahead. This movie sucks. This movie, I

had a real struggle watching. Like, you know, I can get through pretty boring movies. This, I was like, to quote Eric, again, like, drifting towards the wall. It begs not to be watched Had you seen it before this? Like when I did the first run of it

Like back when I was in like high school When I did the first full watch I had seen it I hadn't seen since Yeah Oh yeah This was actually my first time watching this one And no I don't like it

No it's terrible I realized I had never actually seen the entirety Of the theatrical cut I'd only seen this movie In whatever form When I got the box set I'd always avoided it. I'd never seen it.

And I was like, oh, producers cut, that should be cool. I mean, both are terrible. Yeah. Completeest, like Chris said, do what you're going to do. But hachi-machi. It's just totally convoluted. And with all the references to the first movie, like, just watch that again. Oh, please.

Please watch that again. Watch it a hundred times. Or, you know, just skip this movie and go on to H-2-O in your re-watch because you're not going to be lost. No, you're not. Or don't do that either. We will, in case you're like, well, why do they rank all those Halloween movies There's so many of them. We will be doing that.

It's an on-screen that's going to release on Halloween. That's right. That's exciting. Right. Yeah. We're going to do everything, including the Robert Zombies. Robert Stevens.

Robert Stephen Zombie. You know, it's a futile exercise because I think George P. Wilbur plays the shape in this movie. And I was like, I wonder if he played the shape in all of them. Never hit the hyperlink of Michael Myers on IMDB. Fan films? You're going to get besieged with fan films. I mean, like, you can't see the forest for the trees for the fan films in this thing.

It's disgusting. There should be a different fan film page. FF, IMDB, where I don't need to look at it. Listen, first of all, fan films have no place in IMDB. They have no place in fucking society, thank you very much. Although, hey, if you follow me on Twitter or whatever and you know of a Michael Myers versus Predator, maybe send that along. Sure, but there's a whole bunch of Star Wars ones, right?

What? I'll send those. I was going to say, I thought you would already be, you know, on that. He, him slaughtering an Ewok village. Oh, my God, that would be so great. Right. I mean, he could go down right, exactly like an ATAT, though. Yeah, I think that's how they get them in the end.

Tie his feet up. And then they crush his head with two big logs. That's Halloween, the curse of Michael Myers, directed by Joe Chappelle. If you want more We Hate Movies, check out WHM Podcast.com or find us over at Sideshow Network. dot TV. Like us on Facebook. Follow us on Twitter. Rate and review the show wherever you get it. We would greatly appreciate it. Hey, check out our Patreon. Patreon.com slash we hate movies. You get on there. You get access to things like animation damnation. Our new podcast on The Nexus, which is a Star Trek show.

Side Order of Sleez is sort of dancing around. It's back. There's a, there's a, there's like a 40-minute episode on Ilsa She Wolf of the SS. That's right for Halloween. It's frightening as fuck. That's good for any night. And there's a newsletter that people seem to like What they just released this week? Steve, what's the name of that newsletter? It's called The Big Daddy Dispatch. That's right.

And on there, you're getting things like future episodes. If you are a subscriber already, you got the October 1, baby. You know all of the spookacular. Oh, yeah, and animation damnations going up there. Maybe we should just tell the folks what we're doing for that to get them interested. Maybe they're going to jump on and subscribe to our Patreon then.

The Davian Goliath, the Halloween Whodunit. Oh, God. Kill me now. I haven't watched it yet. Yeah. Me neither, but doesn't that sound good, folks? Wouldn't you contribute a couple shekels for that one?

So if you like the show, you want to support us. You like what we do here. Check it out. Patreon.com slash we hate movies. Next week, we're going back to my childhood, and I am not excited for this. Oh, we're riffing your home movies. Oh, man, so many sad Christmases.

It's the jupy. at Wildwood. That's the short that plays before the feature. Ernest Scared Stupid. Oh, my God. Oh, God. You know, for the longest time, I thought stupid was a person.

I didn't get with that title. I'm talking about fucking stupid, by the way. You know, I think I thought that, too. I was like, oh, that weird potato demons named Stupid. Because, like, Jesus Christ, if anyone's going to scare you, it was Ernest B. Worrell.

No, none of you were scared by Ernst's stupid. I was terrified. We don't speak of him. You were afraid of Ernestine? Not afraid, just unsettled. It's just like a fucking 60-year-old man looking at you with a fish-eye lens. It's not very flattering for anything.

I will tell you, I was terrified of the demon-trolls buggers. Oh, that's great. That stuff haunted my dreams. More talk of this next week on We Hate Movies. Until then, I'm Andrew Jupin. Steven Seda. Chris Gavin. Eric Siska.

Take it easy. You know, it's Halloween, I guess everyone's a title of one good scare. Sometimes, that is what I. Zombies have entered the building. They're at the door. They're coming in! It is time to keep your appointment with the Wicterman. They're coming to get you, Barbara. He's sick for fucks using one team anymore. Don't you blame the movies?

Movies don't create psychos. Movies make psychos more creative! Put the fucking lotion in the ranger! What an excellent day for an exited.