We Hate Movies - S7 Ep276: Episode 276 - Suburban Commando: Live! at the Hollywood Improv

Episode Date: November 24, 2016

On this special Thanksgiving edition of WHM, the gang gives thanks for jokes by releasing a special live show—the first of two shows taped at the LA Podfest Preview Night—it's Suburban Commando: Live! at the Hollywood Improv! Recorded in front of a sold-out crowd, the gang weighs in on such important Suburban Commando matters like: why is Shep Ramsey offered a vacation after killing the space president? What kinds of artistic decisions was the Hulkster, as executive producer, making on set? And is Christopher Lloyd doing Hulk Hogan cosplay? PLUS: What's going on with this alien's genitalia? Suburban Commando stars Hulk Hogan, Christopher Lloyd, Shelley Duvall, Larry Miller, and Mark Calaway; directed by Burt Kennedy.Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

I'm going to be. When he comes to an intergalactic confrontation, no one can beat. Chef Ramsey ex-work Ramsey. What's next? Why don't you try relaxing? But now, he's about to land in a place. Even he isn't prepared for. Suburbia.

Get to know the locals. Blend in. I know which ones are the right ones. Get the squeeze a bit. Wow. I found a good one. Here, they have strange ways. of fighting.

You got any idea what we're gonna do to you? Let me guess. You're gonna pal on my face. What are you nuts? It's a nice. We're gonna see you. They have bizarre means of protection. Now, you're two plus.

Back off now. No, please, wait. Let's talk about this. There are dangers he's never seen. Whoa! My mom could see him all as that. At enemies, he's never noticed. I hate suburbia

So you'd better not fake him out Must be a K-7 force field I'll break you out of there Glad I can help Or take him on For Hulk open It's no game It's war

Do you belong to some kind of army? Go around. Doing good like some kind of superhero. Hulk Hogan, Christopher Lloyd. I was frozen today. Suburban commando. My cat. My cat. That's not my cat. Keep on rolling, baby.

You know what it is. All right, ladies and gentlemen, please welcome to the stage. We hate movies. Los Angeles, what you're going to be moving and you're looking at this shit right. Los Angeles, what is happening? Hello. All right. Smells pretty good in here.

Who's got nachos? A lot of you. You guys are all close. Apologies in advance. I'm Andrew Juban. Chris Cabin. Steven Say that. Eric Siska.

And we are. We hate movies from New York City. Are we too fat for Los Angeles? I think we are. Yeah, 100%. Okay, that's okay. We've been asking for cheese on everything, and also it's a lot.

ordering a lot of doubles of things. Yeah, you know, that's all we're going to get? I should not have eaten that much pork. Oh. Sex tape jokes. You guys remember the dialogue from Hulk Hogan's sex tape? The show of hands, who's seen it? You fucking dirty liars.

You're all right. All right, yeah, a couple of people right there. God bless you. When did this turn it to a witch hunt? I'm trying to find friends for that. It's not a witch eye. Now really quick, by the show of just, you know, the applause you just gave, how many people are familiar with the program we run on the Internet?

Cool. So, if you're not, apologies in advance. A little bit of a wake-up call, maybe. So we are a show where we take a bad movie and just kind of like poke little holes in it, make fun of it. Kind of maybe slander people sometimes. Oh, several times. at least. Bring up embarrassing sex tapes. But honestly, like, that guy walked out

okay. He walked out totally fun. He was just fine. You know, he walked out of that sex tape, better than he crawled into that sex tape. That is the most successful sex tape of all time. Well, it's the Star Wars of Sex tapes, really. It's a blockbuster.

It's a fuckbuster. Jesus. He busted the bed. He busted his gut with the pork. But nutbuster? Yeah, maybe. Maybe a nut buster. No proof. But honestly, before that, could he have pulled off a funeral bandana?

I don't think so. I think he really, that owned it. That didn't stop him from trying. No. How many wrestler funerals did he attend with a funeral bandana? All of them? It's respectful. That's the way you do it.

You don't want to wear a suit. You want to wear a sleeveless t-shirt with your past friend on it. Spandex. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I feel like if you're wearing a suit. wearing a suit, it's like, look at that fucking phony over there. Dressing up for Benoit's big day. Oh, no.

Come on. No, no, no. How long has it been? Not long enough. Apparently. He was beloved. I know. So tonight, yeah, Suburban Commando from the grand year of our Lord 1991, directed by Bert Kennedy, rest in peace.

Oh, he passed away? Oh, he's long dead. I think he died, like many people associated with this movie, the year it came out. Or surely there happened. Or if you worked stunts on the film, you died the year before it came out.

We got a dead stuntman on Suburban Commando. It's kind of a hidden dead stuntman. It needs to be black for Carl or something. No, no, no, no, no. They did it the right way. Listen, whenever someone dies making a movie, right?

You better hope that movie's good. Can you imagine Carl, up in heaven or down in hell or stuck here on this plane, thinking Suburban Commando was dedicated to me? That fucking sucks. That's a lot of cursing. There's also like a second unit situation, Eep. Like, it wasn't even like the Hulksters stuntman. Oh, Christopher Lloyd's stuntman, you think?

Oh, well, that could be. So this movie, did anyone watch this movie in preparation for the... Okay, all right. Oh, you saps. Was it for the first time? That split the room right down the middle. Perfect. So this is about Hulk Hogan, and he is a...

He's not really a suburban commander. That's a bit of a lie. He's an alien with an American name. Shep Ramsey. You know, like those alien names, Shep Ramsey. Is that really American or just Minnesota? It's really what I'm saying Minnesota's not America? Yes.

Oh. I didn't know you felt that way Don't they have the mall of America? Yeah, they do. Well, okay, maybe that gets the man. You got got right now spinning lies. I mean, either way, it's not a name

for an alien. He's got to be Zardaz the Destroyer. And when he comes to Earth, it's like, oh, I can't call myself that, obviously. I don't know. Chef Ramsey. You know what you're asking, though, for a screenwriter to come up with two different names? Oh, big problem for the writer

of suburban commander. You got to think of the audience. That might confuse them. Wait, I thought his name was Zarnas the Destroyer. What's happening? I'm lost in Suburbing Command. So he's like a weird, like, space cop sort of... Yeah. Mercenary, almost, I would say.

A little bit of a mercy. Yeah, you know what? He's a laser for hire. Yeah. So, yeah, there we go. There's like a Star Wars homage in the beginning of this. Oh, it's a straight, dirty shithole rip-off. It's not a homage. It's not an homage. It's not a homage. Oh, wink. It's a fucking dirty rip-off. In homage, you kind of

want to do something a little different. This is the exact same fucking shot. It's a little different in that it looks really shitty. But it's the same like the Star Destroyers coming right at the top of the frame. There's things sort of bleep-blooping at it, you know. It's just missing that

crawl at the beginning. And like there's this guy whose name is Souter, another great alien name. That's an homage to Chief Justice David Suter, of course. And, you know, they could have served on the bench 1990 to 2009, he did.

At least spelled it with a Z. You know? Oh, Zooter. Yeah, Zooter. How about that? Hey, Zooter. Oh, the Brian sets for orchestra?

They show up, maybe? I think Zoot Zoot Zoot Riot was Cherry Pop and Taddies. Oh, man. Fuck! You know, notes for editing this later. Cut that part out. Cut that big band

inaccuracy out. Maybe all that skash hits from Matterspace. Oh. Now you're bringing Skaw into it? Wait, is there a difference? There's a large difference, yeah.

Let's talk about it after the show. So, the president of space has been kidnapped? And it is the... No, he's not being... It's a doggone president. They're calling him Mr. President. Sure. I think he's president of the galaxy.

Of whatever galaxy this is, it's not our galaxy, I don't think. I don't know if it's far, far away? It's just far away, yes. Well, he's been to Earth. He says he's been to Earth before, and he fucking hates us all. Yeah. Where's that prequel? Where's that prequel where he's got problems with Earth?

Explain what that is. I want that. You know, like he's... Earthling ex-wife? Oh, yeah. And he just hates it so much. He comes down and starts kicking dogs and stuff. Oh, totally.

Oh, great. I got to go back where Deborah's from. That fucking nasty Deborah. So Souter is dressed like he's about to give the commencement address at a community college which is like this. It's a really not great Emperor Palpatine robe. Again, it's a

really shithole rip-up movie. I'm not even sure it's an accredited community college. It's like a Trump University. So, and he's got the president and he's like, you know, Mr. President, give it up, you know, sign over the galaxy to me. Only one man could save him at that point.

Yeah, who's that? That's a Shep Ramsey played by Hulk Hogan. Oh, oh, right. Yeah, yeah. The role originated by Hulk Hogan. But was originally attended for Arnold Schwarzenegger? Yeah. And then Danny DeVito was supposed to play the Christopher Lloyd part, according to Wikipedia mythos. Oh, yeah.

Who knows what's being made up on there. Christopher, like, they made the costumes so long ago. And, like, you know, Hogan has to squeeze into Arnie's outfit, but Christopher Lloyd has to squeeze it in Danny DeVito. This is too small. Jack, it's going to tear, it's going to tear! Is this technically a midriff I have here? Oh, that would look pretty sexy.

I could go for that. He should have had a midriff in that Star Trek 3. Oh, he's playing a Klingon. A Klingon midrifts? That would get weird real quick. He can be yikes. So he winds up, you know, save... No, I'm sorry.

No, the exact opposite of saving. He, like, you know, he shoots up a bunch of dudes. He gets captured, and to save him, the president now cuts off super. And he's like an alien? He's like a big scary alien? It's like a tease for the end of the movie because it's like, again, we're ripping off Star Wars.

This hand goes, but then like a little gleep-clop like slithers out of it. Oh, just like what happened to Luke Skywalker. Oh, you had an alien hand under there? Yeah, that's why he put a black glove on it because it's weird. Oh, makes total sense. That's what you forgot in the original cut

is it going, hey! Liz, like, can I see your weird hand? Is that the weird one? Can I see it? That's back when George Lucas thought less was more. Let's not show the wampa. So then, like, the president's like,

hey, Chef Ramsey, I set it up for you, save me as I am indeed the galactic president. And Chef Ramsey goes, see you later. Leaves him for dead. He leaves the president of the galaxy for dead. Wow. He not only does that. He sets up his

death for sure. He plants all the bombs that kills him. It's an assassination on a president of the galaxy. Which is why those bounty hunters are after him. I don't think they're related to Souter at all. Oh, Undertaker and the other guy? Yeah, Undertaker and the other guy.

Excuse me, Chris Longo. Tony Longo. Chris Longo's a guy we used to work with. Oh, yes. You're right. All the Tony Longo heads stay in your seats. We got it. We got it. They've all seen house guests. They know what I'm talking about.

By the way, speaking of Long Dead. Oh, he died. He passed away. It's a real rogues gallery of dead people. Dude, suburban commando was cursed. For a movie that came out in 1991. You know what I mean? Like, there's more original stars from Casablanca still walk in the earth.

I'll have to check on that, but I'm pretty sure you're right. So, he gets escapes, like, a coward in his escape pod. And then, like, his boss kind of lightly chews him out. There's, like, a vet Brian Cox. Yes, and it's kind of, like, if you just, like, missed some sort of report deadline at work, It's not like you let the president of the galaxy

not only die, but you technically murdered him with your own space grenade. It's like, you know, Shep, there was a little bit of a whiff back there on his mission. The old Shep Ramsey wouldn't have let the president die. Yeah, we know you've been pretty stressed at work, Shep. So since you let the president of the galaxy die, you should probably take a vacation.

And he is not happy with that. There's so many other things he wants to do. He's like, why can't I go exterminate terrorists or become a galactic narc? Galactic narc is the one he sounds really excited for it. Galactic Narcos, maybe? There's way too much voiceover in that part. That joke only works if anyone watches Netflix as Narcos.

Nope, by the sound of that, it's maybe four of you. But yeah, I don't know. Space drugs, huh? That's pretty cool. Oh, yeah, spice. Oh, yeah. Oh, the Hansel of Spice. Spice. Yeah. It's in Star Wars and Dune, right? Yeah. I'll take your word for it on June it works Hold on Earth is established also you also got Earth drugs in play Oh could that be a thing right and this is actually kind of a better movie

Right? The idea that like there's a guy on Earth maybe he's involved with Netflix narcos And he's getting like Coke out into the galaxy Like homegrown earth cocaine and he's getting it out there And Shep Ramsey as you know space narc do it to it that's a movie. He's got to, like, bust all this oxy cotton flying. Oh, that's true.

The villains played by Rush Limbaugh. Yes. I got to get messed up on that shit. Get back here. And he's, like, he's always in zero gravity, and that's why he's so fat. Oh, yeah. He's like the pupil in Wally. He's just got a little motor chair.

He goes around. And he loves oxy. Yeah. I don't know the last time you gentlemen watched the film Heavy Metal from the 19 Whatever's. Oh, I. Yeah, not recently. I believe that John Candy and Harold Ramis cartoons are doing cocaine in that, and they're aliens.

So they're like, they're blowing rails. Well, shared cinematic universe? Oh, shit, suburban commando prequel. It all started in heavy metal. So, like most things, actually. A lot of things started in heavy metal. So this dude's like, you know, go on vacation, and since he at one point smashes some control panel, and he's like, well, you broke your navigation system, so you're,

You're on a course for Earth. So I guess that is where you're going. And he's like, fucking Deborah, I hate Earthlings, and he goes to Earth. And then we don't know what's going on because then we're introduced to Christopher Lloyd. Christopher Lloyd in this movie is a put-upon spineless businessman.

An architect. Oh, yes. See, he's just like you. It's an every man. Architect is like the number two movie job. Advertising agent is one. architect is too and nobody knows shit about architecture

and who write these movies they're just like oh I gotta draw this door in this house that's my job right I draw doors and houses French art really brought out the room my god look at that big window

it's a mess Marty it's a mess I forgot to put the bathroom like yeah obviously now with Italian tiles in the kitchen gotta go back in time put in some plumbing man Italian tiles

you have good taste But here's my question, though, Steve, because you've brought this up before, the idea that, like, you know, yeah, yeah, nobody knows anything about architecture and movies. Including myself. But, you know, for the purposes of, say, a film, like, I don't know, Suburban Commando. You know, maybe it is just a job that's building drawerer. Why do I want to sit around and listen to Christopher Lloyd throw out, like, legit architecture thing? It's true. I really just need him to hold a blueprint, and I'm good.

I believe it. I'll believe it. That's it. You say you're an architect? Okay, Christopher Lloyd. Then you're good, because that's what he does in this movie. It's Hold a Blueprint. I paid a fucking ticket to watch Hulk Hogan smash things.

This wasn't a Christopher Lloyd by. I wasn't like, ooh, the new Christopher Lloyd. Some people were definitely saying. Were they? Yeah, some people. Okay. So, yeah, Shelley DeVall is his wife. So she's moving from acting with Robin Williams

and acting with John Nicholson famously. Oh, Robert Altman movies. Yeah, such of them. Yeah, exactly. directed by Stanley Kubrick to being in Suburban Commando. Yeah, it's what you call a fall from grace. Or it's called

Build the Bathroom and you need the money. I mean, I don't know. Also, to be fair, what? Did her scenes take a day to ship? Yeah, she's... There's a couple of costume changes. I don't really know. What, 12-hour shift?

Something tells me this movie wasn't on time. Run budgets. Oh, that brings up a good point. You know who the executive producer of this film was? Oh, who? What, Lauren Michaels? No. You know Hulk

A couple things in the script We have to go over Okay, brother No, Hulk, Hulk Shoot, brother I've asked you not to call me, brother Several times at this point Hulk Hogan executive produced this movie

This is a place Say what! He was making decisions behind and in front of the camera What a fucking mistake What an utter disaster decision You know, I was watching The Shining the other day, brother, and I just was

so taken with Shelly Duvall. She's got to be the wife at this movie. I mean, man, what? She could fill the screen. The choices she made in that role, man. I'm sorry, don't tell me you can't find Shelley Duvall's phone number, brother. It's got to be out there in the Hollywood handbook somewhere.

Go eat this Cuban sandwich while I wait. So, Larry Miller's... God bless you. She's like, like, oh, there's bills we need to pay. Go ask for the raise. And this is the thing, because this is a product of the late 80s. This is when the middle class was

waking up, and they were realizing Reaganomics wasn't happening. He's got to be fighting for that promotion, but he's spineless. So, like, his wife's like strangling, literally strangling him in this movie. It's a weird sex game. It's a sex game, for sure. You're choking.

What a boy, they don't choke and fuck. It's only where I can go. When you see the blood capsules pop in my eyes That means I'm ready to go Not that that happens, I don't know I don't know The safe word is banana

The safe word is travel back and dive Do you think like she's just choking about and he's there And he's there and he's there and he's there Eighty-eight miles per hour Hey How many people thought they were going to come here tonight listen to an impression of Christopher Lloyd having sex.

Yeah, all right. All right. Oh, they expect it now. Fair enough. So Larry Miller is his boss. Love Larry Miller. Yeah, he's great. So does Hulk Hogan.

He saw him a... He's the Hollywood Improv. He's a little bit. Wait. Hulk Hogan loves Larry Miller. Yeah, yeah. Not you also love Hulk. Because I said I love Larry Miller.

I mean, I like Hulk Hogan. He seems like a nice guy. He might be in the audience. Nice. Hey, uh, Terry. He's down at that beach shop he owns. That's my dream, by the way. My retirement dream is to own a beach shop

in where right outside, there's a huge rubber statue of me. Hogan's surf shop. Check it out. Oh, run by you in Hogan. Oh, yeah. Terry and I are going to try to, you know, split that. He'll probably give you a signed bandana.

Not after he listened to this. He had that pasta shop in the Mall of America to bring it around, right? Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, what? You didn't know about this? Pasta shop. Didn't he like a pasta mania? Pasta mania?

No! Has someone heard of that? Yes. Oh my God. There you go. He had like a whole pasta like he was going to be a franchise. You're going to have to carboload, brother. Okay.

It shit the bed. Oh, did it? Yeah. Weird. Well, wait. We're out of business. Wait, was it like Aunties where they were like shaped like a bandana or like a bicep? Dude, every waiter at that restaurant.

trying to have to wear a black bandana. Okay, I'm going to have the Nyoki and the lady here is going to let Pasta Mania run wild all over her. Oh, and sorry, sorry, can you come back for a second? Can I have the bowl of the leg drop soup? Thank you. So, yeah, he doesn't get this raised, because he's just a coward,

right? Yeah, well, he goes in and he's like, hey, Larry Miller, can I ever raise? Yeah, well, you're not your Larry's a raise. Oh, that's right, yeah, it's more accurate. Yeah, yeah. Well, and Larry Miller, you know, the amazing Larry Miller is playing, like, I don't think Larry Miller had any written dialogue. It was just like, go in and just make fun of Christopher Lloyd

and steal his character's ideas. Hey, Larry, can you belittle that guy? Yeah, got it. Done. Not a problem for Larry Miller. No. And so Hogan, like, is in an ex-disco club? That's where his spaceship lands?

And the gag is, it's called the landing pad. Ah. Yeah. You guys get it? I will explain you that now. So he's like, oh, he kind of does a Terminator where he has to get like human clothes, right? Man, can you imagine if this movie started, though?

Hulk Hogan gets out of that spaceship, those fucking cheeks just flapping, stupid family movie, cheekless family. Yeah, all you see is like the bald crown and the fucking mullet and the fucking bent ass. Oh, hot. That is the way to travel. That's how you travel in time, not a DeLorean. Yeah, that's true.

He's in a naked ball. You're on to something, man. All right, Marty, take your clothes off. We're going to go travel back in time. What? Wait, what? I know you're in high school. Just don't tell your parents.

A perfect stop hanging out with that dark brown. No, no, no, no. We're going to leave your girlfriend behind. He kept telling me I had to do it at the mall? Now curling the ball. dinner at pasta mania and then we went out to the J.C. Penny parking lot and he said we were going to do a science

experiment. I ended up choking him. I kept yelling something about 88 miles an hour. You're going to see some serious shit? I mean, he was talking about the Libyans for a while. I think he's just off in his own world, man. It's just such odd pillow talk, isn't it?

So he like, there's some fat guy speaking of pasta. He's eating some pasta mania. Just maybe the idea came from this. He's eating pox. He's got his dog tied up. And the thing about Shep Ramsey is he's got a really acute sense of right and wrong. Oh, big time.

And so he thinks that that's wrong. So we have got a nice little star wipe and it switches. Well, because the dog is not tied up. The dog is locked in a car with the window robot. Which is a muzzle off. Yeah. It's a crime. It's a crime.

It is a crime. It's a terrible thing. Yeah, yeah. And so Shep Ramsey notices this. He's like, well, that ain't right, brother. Star or flip wipe. Yeah. And this dog is eating.

eating the pasta. And this fat pig is locked in the truck. Naked. Yeah, because Shep Ramsey also took his... With a muzzle on. Like he's going back in time or something. It's hot as fuck, dude. And, like, now

Shep Ramsey dressed like a photojournalist for most of this movie. Like, he's got... A wartime photojournalist. Yeah, exactly. Duffel bag, cargo pants. And, like, Christopher Lloyd has a shitty day. He goes home, and he's like, all I want to do is going to the garage and bang stuff. Which is what he said.

Yeah, he's got like a man cave where I think he's tuning up skateboards. And that seems to be it. Yeah, it's just skateboards. I think he's a skateboard enthusiast. Probably for my days are hanging out with the lords of dog town. Why not? They were surfing,

but on the sidewalk. Sidewalk surfing. Genius. They changed the world. So he goes home, and Shelley Duvall is now She's wearing a sexy She's wearing a wig It's her finest chair Halloween costume

And she tries to have sex with him That doesn't happen And he's like, oh I just want to go to the garage And she's like oh I made that into an apartment For somebody to pay the bills By the way, in one work day I've renovated This entire garage I also

Found time to go out and buy a wig Which leads me to believe No she didn't, that wig is preexisting Oh okay I'm pretty sure it is Hey baby, after dinner tonight Maybe we could turn back time

you get my drift I rented Moonstruck get the beef knife the only thing I know for Moonstruck I'll be as accurate as possible so he goes in I'm Nicholas Cage or something

he's all pissed off and sure enough wouldn't you know it Hulk Hogan wants to rent an apartment from him? Oh what are the odds And it's before credit checks. It's before birth certificates, I guess. Before birth certificates. I guess, though.

1991. Listen, they're desperate, dude. They've been sold a fucking pack of lies about trickle-down 80s economics. They are on hard time. So they allow this drifter into their home. Of course. This is a dangerous drifter. Oh, it's the most dangerous drifter that's ever drifted through town.

But also, I don't think they're caring that much about it. Because if you look at the place she re-did or whoever's going to live here. Looks like the set of a cheap porno, by the way. Not even worse than that. Worse than a cheap porno. Yes. Okay.

Because there's an industrial drill in the middle of the thing with a plant on top of it. And that's it. Well, listen, it was one work day. She can't do everything. I'm not blaming her. I'm just saying what's happening. Painting a picture.

You're painting a picture for the audience. Very good. What's awesome in this moment, too, It's a great blinking, you-missive moment of Christopher Lloyd cowardice because he's about to drink a nice, hearty glass of milk because Shelley Duvall is like, let's have sex like Cher and Sunny. And he's like, no, I can't possibly. I need an ice-cold glass of milk, and he goes to the fridge.

And then that's when Shep Ramsey comes a knock, and he's like, now what? Interrupting my milk! And he opens the door, and they do like a tilt-up, like foot to, you know, crotch. Oh, that's a big man. And then he goes, It's for you, wife. Like, what? Dude, this fucking serial killer comes to your door?

And you're like, oh, it must be for my tiny wife, you fucking coward. They are one step away from divorce, this entire movie. And he is one step closer to murdering his entire family and killing himself. It's definitely on the table. Yeah, oh, it is on the table from the opening credits. Executive produced by Hulk Hogan, maybe Christopher Lloyd will kill his entire family. He certainly, we certainly don't see the kids that often, and they're just... Well, because they're scared of him.

He's, yeah, he's, the Hulkster is hanging out with the neighborhood kids mostly. Like, usually in this kind of fish-out-of-water comedy, like, sure, he's going to come in, he's going to, like, endear himself to the daughter. Maybe he, like, you know, she's got a shitty boyfriend, and the little kid's got to learn something about football. You know that movie. That's how it goes. Since the dawn of cinema.

House guest again? Yeah, exactly. No one saw houseguess. Was this pre- or post-house guest? Oh, pre-house guest, all right. Another America. Yeah, the two eras of cinema, pre and post-Sinbad houseguess. That's how I define most things in my life.

Did that happen before or after houseguess came out? That's what they mean by Old Hollywood and Newhouse. That's exactly right. That's exactly right. Yeah. Okay, got it. Got it. George Lucas made his best stuff. Right after Houseguess.

New American cinema So like we got a bunch of fish out of water gags Like him just around the neighborhood This movie's like 75% fish out of water gags It's like the neighborhood kid stuff He slips on a skateboard Which you're laughing your tits off the whole time He's got, oh so his neighbors

He's got some like real obese gearhead neighbors That love picking on Christopher Lloyd Parking their little like they're not dune buggies What are they? 4-0-1 racers kind Is that what they are? The really tiny guys. What's the thing where it's like a car

that goes real fast and there's a parachute behind it? Yeah, like drag racing, funny car type things. Like Daniel Bruill cars, I call those. Oh, is that right? Yeah, because that movie that he made. What? That movie Daniel Bruill, they, the...

Oh, the Ron Howard picture. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, everybody saw that. Was that the one with the whale? No. Fair enough. Just checking. But that's the great credit line.

Like, you know, Hulk Hogan gets in his face. He's like, what are you going to do? Beat me up, brother. You're going to knock my teeth out. You're going to rip my guts out through my eyeballs, brother. And he's like, it's an eddies. We're going to sue you. And the fucking theater goes, Yay!

Litigation! Come on with your sue jokes. I saw that on LA Law, yeah. Oh, you definitely came out to the theater for LA Law. Dude, every episode someone was getting sued on L.A. law. What was, oh, right. Never mind.

Now, this neighborhood, a lot of colorful characters. Oh, sure. The colonel, who's an elderly alcoholic. Like most of them turn into. Parked his old Jeep on the lawn. Yeah, I can't wait to get to this point. We're wearing a military uniform. Oh, in your own life, not in the movie.

No, no, yeah, my own life. Okay, yeah. That's my retirement. plan. You got your surf shop. I'm getting drunk in the yard. Perfect. And he's just, he's always watching Christopher Lord come home and just laughing at

him. Did you imagine every day you get out of your car and about six to seven people laugh in your face and they live on either side of you? No wonder this murder suicide is right around the corner. Belittled at work,

belittled at home. Yeah. This poor fuck, man. He needs a 400-pound space alien to teach him how to take care of himself. That's the only way that he's going to get out of this jam, man. I just got to shake him out. Oh, there's a great gag somewhere around here where, like, he slips on that skateboard and he gets mad and he, like, Hulk throws it. And not Hulk like Hulk, like Hulk Hogan, like Green Hulk, because this thing fucking goes. And there's a stupid gag later, and it's like the screenwriters don't know how space works.

Because there's someone in a spacecraft. Yeah, I know. Can you believe it? there's someone like looking at a spacecraft window and that skateboard just floats by and it's like how did this little piece of wood get through the atmosphere maybe this is how they're getting all the oxy cotton off of earth

just chucking it chuck it the Star Destroy will pick it up this is all piecing together you get Netflix narcos on the phone we're about to crack it you can't call Netflix narcos they call you

yeah that's how that works oh okay goes. They're just so good. So, yeah, the other part of this is, like, these bounty hunters who are probably Secret Service because the president was killed, one played by Tony Longo, the other

played by The Undertaker, for you wrestling fans out there. His film debut, which was exciting. Is it also his film curtain call? Yeah. He's been in other motion pictures? Look, I just think, if you watch The Undertaker act,

he doesn't say anything in the movie, but he commands the screen. You know, because the thing The thing of why I wanted to hire Mark, I call him Mark because we're friends from the WWF. He acts with his eyes. And you talk to anybody. You talk to Stella Adler, you talk to

Carrot Top. They'll all tell you you can act with your eyes. That's, brother, you're sitting pretty. Now, Stephen, I mean, can I call you brother? I think the Undertaker would make an excellent shindler. We're always

backstage on the road. He's writing down all sorts of lists. The amount of Apple Carts Ben Kingsley would need to act opposite the Undertaker. They'd have to rob an orchard. The Undertaker's like very baby-faced in this movie too.

He's looking all like, he's starstruck. He can't believe he's in a major motion picture. It's fucking ridiculous. So they're on their way and the idea is like they can only track him by means of like his ship and or his, like, really stupid space stuff that he's got. If they shoot,

they can tell if he's shot something. So, like you do, if you're a creepy landlord and, you know, you're one step away from suicide, you're going to root through your new enormous tenant thing. Oh, yeah. You know why to see if he's worth taken out, too? Just check it. If he's got

like a secret gold stash or something, like maybe this dude robbed a bang beforehand, take that guy out, too, you're sitting pretty. You want to have to kill yourself. You can move down to Florida and open a beach shop. You can burn the whole house, down nobody will know what's going on oh actually that's the thing right because they like whoever the census takers the government

right they don't know that you took in this drifter so they check out that burnt pile of rubble four bodies in there hold on you're fucking done hold on hold on oh this presupposes that the autopsy they're going to do they're going to look at Hulk Hogan's

body and like that's Christopher Lloyd yeah that's it that's it Hulk Hogan is three hearts now that you bring up a great question what is going on with the anatomy of Hulk Hogan in this movie the alien Hulk Hogan Shep Ramsey the alien name

yeah no I mean Hulk was you know probably just hulking out as always no but I mean yeah Shep Ramsey because like he just looks like Hulk Hogan there's not one single attempt to make him an alien of any kind but it raises the question what's going on with the genitalia I mean we saw it's the we hate movies hard question that we always have to ask aliens

does it raise that question is that question Raised by the film itself. No, but it should have. Okay, sure. Because there's that one part where that dog's eating pasta, like minutes before that, all these ladies are like,

oh my God, look at Hulk Hogan. Which, first of all, nice try. Like, there's these ladies like cartoon wolf drooling over him. Yeah, it's like, if your, if your Jim Teejo was in an atomic blast, he would look like Hulk Hogan. The guy is walking around in an outfit that looks like your job,

your real day-to-day job, is getting shot by a shotgun. Is that a job? Like at some range, see how powerful it is? Oh, like gun tester. You know. I'm a professional gun tester. Okay, so Shooter is part, like, green, bleep-glop alien. Yes.

You know, and he's, Shep Ramsey's not from Earth. There might be gleeplot parts, and that's a good question. Because he's not human. Thank you, Eric. That's all I was asking. So what are we thinking here? What, three dicks? Is that what we're saying?

No balls. No balls. There's no less than three penises and zero testicles guarantee. The two other shafts are a little bulbous and the one is one. It's an alien. We have been we hate movies from New York, too.

Thank you so much. You know, brother, when I was drawn up the schematics of what Shep Ramsey looks like down there. Well, as the executive producer, he has to know that stuff. Well, yeah, you know. I got a lot of money riding on this. I got to know what the dick situation looks like.

He's got a bunch of Guillermo del Toro sketches all over. Then you lift up this dick brother. There's an eyeball in it. And that's where the key is. But like the rose. There needs to be an alien autopsy of this weirdo, right? Oh, yeah, totally. You don't get the government to dissect them piece by piece.

Peace by BPP. Yeah, the rest of the movie is just an. hour-long dissection. Hosted by Jonathan Frakes. Did he really host that? In the 90s, he hosted an alien autopsy show. I should know, I taped it.

Taped it off of Fox. I hate it. Watched it again and again. Oh, sweet Commander Riker's doing something about aliens. Look, mom, I told you it's real. I hate you. I'm drinking.

So, you know, he fish out of water stuff. So by, the stalking. Yeah, the stalking. That's right. So he blasts through his own garage and things happen. And now The Undertaker knows where he is, so he's coming down to Earth. Christopher Lloyd steals a laser blaster out from underneath Chef Ramsey's mattress. And then, like, basically the next night, Shep Ramsey goes on a rampage, kind of. Like, he's going around the city trying to help people because he's a hero.

Right. And he just assaults this mime. for no reason. Now, there's a couple things wrong with this. One, it's, like, failed comedy. That's most of it. Right, yeah. But also, like, here's the thing.

So this guy, we do this mime joke, like, no less than four times. Countering this fucking mime. That's talking the whole time, by the way. But so, like, the first time he's doing, like, that classic Mime Box thing, that's, like, Mime 101, I guess. Yeah.

And Shep Rams is like, oh, no, you're stuck in a force field, brother. I can get you out of there. you're like punches this dude in the face which would break a bone for sure yeah you're from the hospital this creepy mind's also out doing this at like midnight or something and that's what I was getting at

now if you're a guy who's like I'm gonna move to Hollywood to be a huge star and your way in at least what you perceive to be your way in is miming in an alley at the witching hour something tells me

you're going to be moving back home pretty quickly awfully quick or murdering by a space bounty hunter one or the other one or the other yeah for sure nice yeah he uh and then basically Christopher Lloyd follows him

back to his spaceship but he's like oh man there's all this cool space stuff and he like does like Hulk Hogan cross dressing I guess you called it well it's Hulk Hogan cosplay okay okay that's that's more accurate now I'm a space man

etc he tucks his dick between his like Would you fuck me? I'd fuck me. Goodbye horses. I'm crying, crying, crying over you. And now this is when the movie,

you know, it's all family nonsense. Oh, no. I didn't know we lost... I broke him. I played with my toys too much, and I broke him. That's one way to put it. So at this point...

Mercy. Basically, it's been a family movie the whole time. The old I've got kids here, you're definitely watching this with your children. Is this a hard, PG? It gets there. I was hard. So, then this woman is about

to get sexually assaulted for literally no reason in a kid's movie this is happening. Martin Cinemax is like pausing the VHX screen. They're like, finally it's happening. Look at it. Now this is taking a turn for me. I had to wait so long.

I've been thinking about what's that weird gelatin. Oh, yeah. But this isn't a Charles Bronson movie? No, not at all. You know what I mean? Like, that's okay at a Charles Bronson movie. That's more than okay in a Charles Bronson. It's so okay that it's every Charles Bronson movie.

Oh, no, it's happening again. Hold it right there, Shep Ramsey. Yeah. we go again. Oh, he's rolling his eyes, you think? Shep Ramsey, sounds like an alien to me. But, I mean, like, you could easily, like, she's just calling out for help, but Christopher Lloyd comes out to say, but this could be a purse snatching, this could be, you know.

Anything, anything but rape. Yeah, yes. Anything, it could be anything but rape. Oh, isn't that your column and variety? It's new, I'm glad you brought that up. It's weekly, actually. Wow, weekly. Okay.

It's a lot of anything. But he comes out, dressed as Hulk Hogan, and they're laughing. It's like these two guys. Well, wouldn't you? Yeah. I mean, look at it. He's like, put the girl away, buddy. Your beef is with me?

And they go, is it? We're just going to shoot you. And they do. But the problem with his garb is his whole head is exposed. His arms are exposed. But wouldn't you know what they shoot the breastplate? Wow. Wouldn't you know it?

What a bungal. It's a total botched job. So he saves her life, sort of, with, like, he has an enhanced strength. Is that the idea that's this thing? The muscle amplifier. Oh, right. He calls it that, like, a muscle amplifier. That's what's awesome, because, like, Christopher Lloyd tries on his glove, and he, like, squeezes, like, a metallic thing, and he goes, oh, a muscle enhancer.

Really? You're a skateboard tinkerer slash fake architect. What are you talking about? It could just be a robot hand. Yeah. I would say a robot hand. Yeah. Robot hand.

Robot hand! Sounds better. Sorry, what were he saying? I mean, he saves the day. It's beautiful. It's wonderful. And then the woman tries to like repay him in sex, which is really uncomfortable. Another weird turn for suburban commando. And there's like a boner joke who's like,

just doing my job! And I'm like, no. Not in my kids' movie, pal. Get out of here. The wife's on the cot, you start blinking. A censor because something is getting too close to the piece. Boner alert. Yeah. Boner alert. Shep, start thinking about baseball.

I can't... These pads don't fit. It's like this guy had no balls. Kind of feels like you might have had three dicks. Gross. So, but with all his Tom Foolery, now The Undertaker and Tony Longo are finally coming to town. Yeah, which I'm excited about.

And Hulk Hogan's all pisses. about it so he bothers him at work the last thing you want is Hulk Hogan coming to your job man like if you got Hulk Hogan hiding in your guest house that's fine he comes to your office you're like oh man they also don't establish

like how he knows where he works he just shows up and he's like giving lip to this secretary that's sitting there and she's like go take it's the dumbest now think about all we've talked about so far this is the dumbest part of this movie

The secretary goes, go take a seat. This is like a fucking three stooges joke. He goes, all right. And he leaves, and he comes back holding a couch. Is it Shep Ramsey or Shemp Ramsey? Good question. You know, the other day, brother, I was watching that movie Summer School with Mark Harmon.

And he tells all the students, right? He says, go take your seats. And they say, where could we take them? I'm just laugh. I can take that to the next level with my strength and literally grab a seat. No way, I'm sorry. You're telling me you didn't.

See Summer School, brother? All right. Listen, production is shut down for the afternoon. I'm going to go find a VHS tape, a summer school. Scratch that. Going to run out in the AMC Theater. Going to run it for a school.

All 35 millimeter of it. Got to see a classic the way it should be. I'm going to take my 35 millimeter print out of my garage brother. That's a personal collection classic. You know, they got a character in that movie named Chainsaw. Here's the Alley's in there. She was on Cheers. That's a great comedy.

So, basically, they find out that they're trying to track where one of Hulk Hogan's guns go missing. Wouldn't you know it's the freeze ray? Oh, yeah, I hate when that happens. Just losing your freeze ray. Fucking sucks. So these rapists, well, I'll call them rapists, have stolen the freeze ray and are going to the bank to rob the bank. Because they're multifaceted criminals. They are.

Oh, yeah, they're just real bad dudes. Ambitious, I would say. So they freeze the whole town. which is kind of great and then they're just like throwing money in sacks like you know like you would like if you're robbing something on the Batman TV show there's a sack with a dollar sign

you're stuffing bills in it you know so they think they got the drop on Hulk Hogan right because the leg drop on Hull Cogan they're about to hit him with the freeze ray but my favorite part of this movie is he's drinking anti-freeze and I will

he just goes anti-free And I'm throwing the fuck up. I didn't know I was on a podcast with G.G. Allen. Yeah, that is Steve's own urine. This is a prop comics shirt, so I'm going to go all prop comedy for the rest of the way. Oh, that's true. Fair move.

Yeah, wipe yourself down. Oh, yeah, do you take a minute. Well, there's a video stream. You've got to give somebody for the video stream. Oh, that's true. Now it's worth their money. You spit all over yourself. You got to sit there like that all night now So I don't know So like now there's a thing

Oh we didn't mention this I think Larry Miller's possibly using like Racial slurs against Japanese people in this movie Yeah Because there's this whole side thing where like He's trying to get the big account And it's these two Japanese businessmen And a translator who

You know it's the old gag of like The dude says something in Japanese And you see the subtitles And it's like knocking Larry Miller and then the translator's like, he's saying you're awesome. Yeah. And so they're trying to get like some contract and that's sort of like this big thing. There's a huge party

that's the next thing. And now here's where the two storylines are coming together because the two story lines loosely. Dude, everything is connected, man. It's like an Inya Reto film. No, really? It's Magnolia. It starts raining frogs. Hulk Hogan's eating them out of the sky.

No, but so like he finds out. That little kid on the quiz show pisses his pants. I thought that was the funniest thing ever, brother. Oh, he would not get Magnolia. It's a metaphor for what? I'll wait all night, brother. Explain it to me.

I got nothing but time. I decide when this beach shop closes. No, it's something. Like, Larry Miller's got all these architecture awards that are made out of a crystal that also powers the fucking spaceship or something. Because basically Hulk Hogan's like, I got to

get out of town because he runs into the bunny hunters and he's like, oh, they're going to destroy the world. So if I leave, they'll leave with me. I just need these things. And this is all in one night. They find a tuxedo that's going to fit Holk Hogan at like 10 o'clock at night. Nice dry movie.

Very nice dry. I mean, and it should be a thing where it's like kind of bursting at the seams. Like, have that gag. Or this thing looks fucking perfect. Maybe there's a cut scene where he kidnaps a tailor. He kidnaps a tailor. He goes to Planet Hollywood where they have a tuxedo that fit

Mr. Ed. And then he just takes in and takes two of the legs out and he's ready to go. Hulk Hogan's dressed like he's going to the fucking Cable Ace Awards in this thing. He looks great. Really sharp. This horse tuxedo is perfect for my

genitalia. What do you know? It fits my three dicks. So they go into this party and crash it. They're trying to steal this. And then so this is where the Undertaker and the other guy come in, Tony Longo, and to start. It's a lot of dumb kid movie fighting. There's rocket boots. Yeah.

There's a lot of, like, we're spinning around a pole and the sound effects are going. Sure, we're defeating them with paper clips. Oh, sure. It's a con. It's real McGiver situation. He murders these two dudes, though. He murders one guy in the elevator shaft. That's the second of two elevator deaths in this movie.

There's one earlier. We missed that one. Well, we're not counting the stuntman. Bravo I'm not proud of that He's so bad He is so bad That's right

He is so bad That dude died Tragically trying to entertain The world The world No Entertain This was a laugh

riot in China, guaranteed. Did gangbusters. So then he throws the Undertaker through a wall like Looney Tunes, and it's like the outline through a concrete wall. Oh, we're missing the best part. The Undertaker finally speaks at the end of the movie. Oh, because I was holding my breath the whole time. And he's got a baby voice?

It's so stupid. It's like, I'm going to kill you, Shep Ramsey. And the audience goes, you know the theater usher is just cleaning crap because no one's there and he's getting a fucking start on it better get a head start on cleaning this theater because nobody's fucking in here

he's down on his knees with the chisel trying to get the gum out it's a great time to renovate a theater when suburban commandos playing in it all the little projects you can't get to during the week that's when you do it all right everybody we got a Hulk Hogan movie coming out this weekend. Get out the

to-do list. We are going to clean this theater up. Get scrubbing. So, he dispatches both these dudes, and wouldn't you know it's suitor from the beginning of the movie comes back. But I thought he died in that explosion.

All right. The movie makes that exact same shrug. And he kidnaps Christopher Lloyd's family who have not been in this movie at all. Zero present. Yeah, and it's like a big threatening thing.

No explanation of how Souter knows where they live that he's involved with Hulk Hogan in any capacity. Like, it just doesn't make any sense. It turns out there's Connaudiers in this movie. I'm fucking shocked. I don't understand Souter's human suit. Like, why would you want to be a pasty, doughy, bald guy with a horseshoe hair if you're just wearing a human suit?

See, the thing is, like, I don't get it on the start. Destroyer, but, like, you go on Earth, that's who's in charge, man. Yeah, that's actually in charge. Yeah, but on the Star Destroyer, it does make no sense. He looks like a C-grade Otho. Which, if you don't know what I mean, that's rough. Watch Beetlejuice, ladies. And then they advocated Beetlejuice for the rest of the show.

There you go. The merits of. That's where you got your shirt. I bought it from Beetlejuice in. I don't know, man. Stephen's wearing something from the Otho collection. So, like, he gets in a stupid fight, and Christopher Lloyd tries the save today

by ripping his nuts off. And Hulk Hogan's like, whatever you do, brother, don't rip his nuts off, no! Well, he grabs and twists with the super hand. The robot hand. Oh, I'm going to rip these balls off. Crack! And that really sets this thing.

thing off. He broke at least two dicks. And then he turned... Oh, you think suitors laid out the same way? Maybe it's a little similar. Maybe, you know, I don't know. Fair enough. And he turns out of the creature from the Black Lagoon. Oh, man. It's like, the creature from the Black Lagoon meets Predator.

I was going to say, the vegetable gremlin from Gremlins, too. Oh, yeah. He does look like that. Wait, there's Gramlins in this movie? Hey, Gremlins! Oh, nobody's in this theater? Forget it. Get out of my movie, Gremlins.

Man, Gremlins would have made this movie a little better, huh? Yes. Or pepper it with some gremlin? Instead of a suit or how about just a bunch of fun gramlins? That's what it is. He rips the nuts off and then all these gremlins fall out. And he turns it, like, it's just a skin suit and it, like, falls down like a balloon, you know?

No, I hate to interrupt the editing process, brother, but I'm curious, how do you keep the gremlins out of the projection booth? I've seen that happen too many times, man. I've seen it happen. Well, listen, once they get in there, brother, they're not getting out. I yell at them and yell at them and yell at them. They don't listen.

I got a lot riding on this, but we don't want any Gremlin's messing it up. Mother kept on telling me to spray vinegar at them. I don't know what that's doing. Can vinegar best at Gremlin? No. It just makes them angry. The mother thing.

Oh, I see, yeah. And then, like, it's a rassland fight. The Alien, by the way, voiced by wouldn't you know a Frank Welker? God, damn it. That magnificent. And Frank Welker's here tonight. No, that'd be great, wouldn't it? How fucking cool would that be?

A legend just walks up on stage and slaps all of us in the face. With the fucking golden glove he owns. You're going to have to choke me, Welker. Choke me right out! The only way I could shoot! Sorry, everybody. Good God. The only way.

Good God. I apologize You're so bad He said it Oh man Yeah that's kind of the end of the movie Oh he electrocutes a suitor He's got a Batman Returns death

One last kiss brother Mother I was making out With Frank Welker today It did it for me Yeah and you know They wrap things up nicely Christopher Lloyd stands up to Larry Barry Miller and quits his job, because that's exactly what the fucking family needs at the time.

Also, is shipwrebs even paying them? No. With what, space box? Yeah, that's not going to work. Or maybe Coke. He's got all this Coke that he's got. Oh, it's stored behind. This will work, right?

A little of that there for you, brother. He's also eating them out of house and home. Oh, yeah. Yeah, he sure is. That's fucking gross, isn't it? Yeah, so let's see Souter's dead Quits his job

Oh this lady This secretary It's all we're all saying Goodbye and it's a beautiful scene And he barely He ices the kids Because he hasn't talked to them at all This movie like

I never learned your name Or your name But say goodbye to Jack Billy Fred Stephen Cal for me They're the neighborhood kids I made friends with in this movie Oh we're forgetting about the space skateboard he gets

At the end of the movie for no reason I think it's Gryftanin's hoverboard. Hey, go, Shep. But there's one kid in the neighborhood we got to single out and talk about. Oh, yeah. There's a little girl that's constantly missing her cat, and he pulls it down from the tree and lets it go, and the cat goes and dies or whatever.

And then it happens again later in the movie. Right. And wouldn't you know it? Elizabeth Moss from Madman, Peggy Olson. Nice little early-on roll, huh? Yeah. Hey, Lizzie, remember when I casted you? You gave me on that Madman show?

I was thinking about the CEO of Gold's Gym. That'd be perfect. God, that would be great, isn't it? Not only am I the president of Gold's Gym, brother. I'm also a customer. Can you tell? Draper, why don't you spend some gold with that? Hey, Lizzie, it's Terry again.

Listen, Matt Weiner's not calling me back. I've laughed like a baker's dozen messages there. Sweetheart, just let me know what's going on At this rate, I take a scene with Bert Cooper Sure hope this is still your phone number Haven't dialed it in 20 odd years Since I, as the executive producer Suburban Commando, hired you on

It's sort of like I won that Emmy's Hey, I started your career I started your career. I made you, goodbye. That's how he ends most of his phone calls. Dude, that's what he's reminding the Undertaker every fucking day. I think that's how he signs all his cards to his kids. Well, that makes sense, though. It's very literal.

I made you sorry you got in that car crash. You are so bad, dude. Well. Oh, the big reveal at the end of the movie. At the end of the movie, he's going back to space to do whatever the fuck, kill more presidents. something. And this secretary that was like kind of flirting with him just

kind of. Just enough. He's just like, yeah, I'm going to go to space with this dude now. Goodbye movie. What? There are so many unanswered questions about that. That's a commitment, first of all. You don't know this man other than one time you told

him to take a seat and he picked up a couch. And then you pulled a gun on him. That's how all great love story. start sure you know but like once you're out there man it's not like you just moved in with somebody you don't know right you can't just you know call your dad and be like turns out gareth's a jerk yeah come help me move out you're in fucking space so it's either this works out with chef ramsie or space suicide yeah or space murder he'll just throw her out in their lot or you call that might be

you call chit too well edge of four maybe they martian you back oh it's all sort of like you're making calculations while you're waiting for it to happen, you're eating shit potatoes. Yes. It could happen. Get Jeff Daniels involved? Oh, guaranteed. He'd help out. But I'm on her side on this whole thing because I've been working for fucking

Larry Miller. Oh, yeah, that's true. For a decade, the icy horror of space sounds great to me. In space, nobody can hear you scream or cry over your shitty boss. Or shoot.

so then they fly off they sort of like softball a sequel set up which is nice I like a softball sequel set up because it's like we're not too cocky but you know we had a fun time right you could do this again maybe

and then that's kind of the end of the movie oh there's a dumb gag where Christopher Lloyd is stuck in traffic that's how we actually end the film which you know it's like drag racing kind of with an old woman but he used the laser gun to destroy a traffic light, that's vandalism, that's dangerous.

I'm an anarchist now. This one's for Sacco and Vincetti. Next up the White House. I got space guns. First things first is traffic light, the next thing, D.C. Shep killed the president. Why can't I?

There are space people out there. None of this matters. Oh, wow. Yeah, that's true. You're all a bunch of sheep. that doesn't happen in the movie no I want to be he does just shoot the traffic light there

yeah it would be a sick alternate ending and we filmed a lot of endings of this movie brother I had a hard time as executive producer figuring out which one we were going to go with I went with shooting a traffic light and then as the credits roll for some reason we play the 1812 overture they really do

all right so So, yeah, this is the end of Suburban Commando. We've got to start wrapping things up here. We want to thank you guys for coming out. Give yourselves a round of applause. Big thanks to the Hollywood Improv for having us. Yeah, thank you. L.A. Podfest, for sure.

Also, we are selling posters a little bit later if you want to grab some of those. Those are fun. We do have one more thing to do. One more thing here. We like to close with a bit of chorus. So we go to the IMDB Tribune, just kind of riple through their comments and see, you know, because everybody likes a movie, right? There's someone out there who's always like, well, this is a masterpiece. And it's okay to like a movie. It's okay to do that.

That's very true. So here's one we just want to read. So the start of this is gorgeous bodies of strong men. Nine out of ten stars. This is honestly a cinematic masterpiece. I know, it's not. Composed from pure sincerity and conviction. Plus, Hulk Hogan is totally hot.

Oh, M.G. I think that's more of what it is, probably. Yeah. Oh, wait, actually, yeah, the username is Hulkster 60. No, no, it's not. Just imagine if he's writing his own IMDB reviews. That's it, man. That's how you get the criterion box that you start making IMDB reviews year old movies and then it's like a snowball effect.

At the beginning, you think that this will be just another lowbrow dumb wit comedy with some dumb pro wrestler. No, it's so much worse. But as the movie progresses, we as the privileged audience begin to understand the true themes of the work. There is the social commentary on alienation and xenophobia. The metaphorical commando armor. and, my favorite,

the deconstruction of the business world we live in. Seriously, this movie is brilliant. Watch it. You won't regret it. Oh, and did I mention that Hulk Hogan is a beast of a sexy man? Because he is, a large, sexy, sweaty man. I love him and ice cream. Maybe that's what Gawker was doing.

They're like, all right, let's start making nice reviews. about Hulk Hogan, they'll drop the suit. And another one, real quick. Intergalactic Warrior spends a few weeks on Earth, 10 out of 10 stars. I won't summarize the movie since other comments have dealt adequately with it. Oh, that's a backhanded compliment of everyone.

Yeah, it really is. Let me just say that Suburban Commando has a great plot, is very well written, and delivers in both the comedy and action departments. It is also definitely the best Hulk Hogan movie. I say this after watching the horrible Mr. Nanny.

That's incorrect. Mr. Nanny's totally better than this movie. It's been 17 years already, Hulk. How long do we have to wait for Suburban Commando 2? Where We Hate Movies from New York City, everybody. Thank you for coming out, Los Angeles. See you next time. Bye-bye. You know, and I'm going to be able to be.

And so, you know, I'm going to be. Thank you.