We Hate Movies - S7 Ep284: Episode 284 - Suicide Squad

Episode Date: January 17, 2017

This week on the show, our (Some of) the Worst of 2016 month continues with one of the most requested films in show history, the wretched Suicide Squad! Why do we need every single back story in here? Why jam pack so many characters in that no one cares about and not kill off most of them? And didn't this feel like a two-hour video game cut scene? PLUS: A lot of RAAAAAAAANDOM screenplay decisions make this the most EXTREME comic book movie to date! Suicide Squad stars Will Smith, Margot Robbie, Viola Davis, David Harbour, Jared Leto, Common, Jai Courtney, Jay Hernandez, Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje, Cara Delevingne, and Joel Kinnaman; directed by David Ayer.Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Worst of 2016 rolls on with, well, one of the worst of the worst, the worst of the worst. It's David Ayers Suicide Squad. I'm Andrew Jupin. Steven Sadat. Chris Kevin. Eric Siska. And we hate movies.

Hello, everyone, welcome to we hate movies. Thank you for tuning in, as always. That's right. We're talking about Suicide Squad. You know, I think this is one of the most asked-after movies for us to do, I guess, outside of it, before we did BVS. Well, because it's universally hate it. Is that right? I don't believe the people who, like, say they love this movie, I don't believe them.

Some people say they do. I know. And I don't believe them at all. But what do you think the motivation is for that? For that, it's just because, like, oh, my God, Harley, and Harley Quinn's out of screen. So you think that's what a lot of basement dwellers are jerking off to this? No, I mean, she's a very popular character. Yeah, a lot of basement dwellers are jerking off.

Thank you, Steve. A lot of above ground dwellers are also jerking off. Not jerking off or not jerking off. A lot of women find her a lot of fun. She's a very popular character in the D.C. Kevin Smith named his kid after. For the last 20-some-odd years. He did.

You could edge throughout this entire movie if you wanted. If you totally wanted to. That's a long edging, though. I should say, yes, speaking of which, we are talking about the extended cut. So that's two hours and 15 minutes of keeping it together. Not much more Joker, by the way, which is kind of hilarious. That's like kind of what, like, you heard like the rumors like clucking around on the internet.

like, ooh, extended cut. That's got to mean more Joker. Here's the thing. That's a point to it. If you can take out more of Jared Leto in this movie, I might be kinder to it. Here's my question that I had, and it's like in the middle of my notes,

but I'll just like say it right here because we're talking about him. And again, this is going to be like, we're just kind of talking about this movie because there ain't much plot to be found. Watch Ghostbusters, and you'll know what the fucking plot of this movie is. But basically, I was thinking,

watching it this time, a second time in my life, kill me. Yeah. What are the odds that this, this Joker, we don't like it. Like, how much do you think we don't like it because of the way it looks?

Because it is really, really stupid. I think that is like the majority of it. I think is, I know everyone hates Jared Leto, okay? But it's kind of like, it's kind of cool to hate Jared Letto, which is, right? And I don't really like that. Right. And I love that.

I've been on the hating general. Totally into it. Tip for a long time. But I honestly don't think you need a really good actor or performer to play the Joker. Look at Caesar Romero. That guy can barely fucking get a word out. Well, let me put the other side of this. That's an insult to Caesar Romero, but I'll let that stand.

I mean, that's true. And Steve has a point there. Shave that mustache. You're playing a clown. Look, you know what, man? He was a proud Latino gentleman. And he's like, look, I'll be your clown, but I'm still going to the fucking Cabana Club on Saturday. And you'll be damned if I don't have a mustache.

And you just tell me all the perverts who like being clowns don't have mustaches. It's a realistic thing. A lot of bearded clowns. I've seen a Rob Zombie movie. I stepped on your point, Chris. I will say I'm exactly the opposite. I don't think the look is even a quarter of the problem. Is that right?

I think most of the problem is him, like the big like, honey, we're going to do it now. And I'm like, dude. So if Daniel Day Lewis was in this real. and was dressed and had all the same tattoos. It would be so much better. Daniel Day Lewis, you better believe would be a mustache painted Joker,

by the way. I'm into it. Is he got the big gangs of New York mustache with white? It's a built-a-puncher mustache guaranteed. I like that. And the big mallet makes more sense there. Yeah. Just with all of it.

But doesn't you have the mallet? Literally all of it. No, Harley Quinn has the mouth. Oh, right, right, right. At this point, the Joker's just a copy of a copy of a copy. that it's just like I kind of don't care but I think he's doing a little bit of Heath Ledger I hate to break it's a little flat

Minnesota kind of hate here yeah that's right and the funny they're talking like this I hate to break it to Jared Leto because at least according to the Tribune anyway it says that he claimed that he refused to rewatch Dark Night but it's like

dude once you've seen that performance it's in there it's in you exactly you can't just not like that's why I feel like the Joker in live action form from Ledger on out is impossible to not be ledgerified at some level. Somebody can go a different. I do think somebody can go a different way with it with the provost.

My problem with Jared Leto is that he's too controlled to me. He feels too controlled. Like the character should be out there. Jared Leto as a person is so self-aware. Yeah. Yeah. And that he's not getting lost in that role. Well, no, didn't he edge for 70 days?

Was that how that work? What was he doing? He's sending people like condoms and like, oh, fucking. It's Sally May reports or whatever. What is this? The jerky boys? Can you imagine sending a condom to Viola Davis and thinking

that's a good thing to do for your character? Wait, wait a second. Yes, I can. Okay, good. Good, Eric. A condom for Viola. She's in a whole other movie here. Yeah. Because what I started doing this time was just putting like pluses and not needids in my notes. A plus in this movie is Viola Davis, I think.

I think a plus is, I think Margarabi is really. good in this. I think that she's dressed very sillily. I think there's a better costume to be sillily? Sillily. In a silly way. Why don't you just say she's dressed very silly? Yeah, I just fucking up. Because I'm like making up words and

that's what I'm going to do here. Yeah, yeah. I'm just the daddy's little all the Joker branded wear we could fucking keep. The lucky you above the shorts I wanted to kill someone. Who is making these outfits? Perverts. Yeah. Downright perverts.

You go to any store in this country, in the United States, you will see pervert made clothing. Oh, yeah, you get like a pair of sweatpants on a little kid. It's just juicy. Yeah. That's just Joker brand clothes right there. Right, Chris? Yes.

Yes. Yeah, Robbie's good. And honestly, another thing, and I don't know, this might split the room a little bit. You know who I think's good in this movie is Will Smith. Yeah, he's good. That's dead shot. I think the character's written badly, but he's doing his best with it. I mean, the whole fucking thing's, like, it's a pile of fucking shit.

Throughout this movie, when we got into the, you know, you get the Will Smith backstory and stuff of Deadshot, I'm just like, okay, just make it about him. Just structure it around someone. And then I'm like, oh, wait, wait, is this going to be a witch movie? Okay, focus on that. Pick one thing. Yeah, you can't have like a dirty dozen type movie. And then there's also witches involved. You know, in the dirty dozen, you don't get like fucking 40.

minutes on the back story about maggot. Exactly. These cut into the backstories things. Like, I don't need it. You do it up front enough with like their fucking five beginnings of this movie. Oh, sure. Yeah. I should say this though. If anyone is not aware of what this is, let's turn really quickly to comic book experts to you say to briefly explain what the suicide squad is. In the 80s, a guy named John Ostrander and somebody else who I'm forgetting who I'm sure somebody

screaming about right now, created a... Oh, my Lord. Steve Sadek is not so much a comic book expert. He's a comic book expat. Yes, exactly. I've been exiled. No, it's... So it's...

It is the dirty dozen. It's a comic book outfit wherein... It's a rotating cast of character, so it would always be a different group every time. Oh, is that right? Yeah, there'd be an arc of these characters. Somebody would die. maybe somebody wouldn't, then some people would cycle out, cycle in,

the penguin was there for a bit, you know, that's what you want. But like, Dead Shot was always there. It's just a group of supervillains that are either given clemency or time off their sentence to do some dirty shit for the government by Amanda Waller. And that's it. And that's, and that's witches, I don't believe, come off and around. Oh, that's good. No witches.

I mean, Enchantress was there, but it wasn't about like. See, this is a fun idea for a comic book. It's a great idea for a comic book. don't know if it would translate to a movie ever. There's too much shit that you have to jam in. And already, like, we should say we're talking about the extended cut. The original theatrical was only like two hours.

Yeah. This is 215. And it's just more bloating of these people. Yeah. I think it could work. If you look at the dirty dozen formula, you don't get really much of backstory of any of the characters. They just talk about random

stuff. Right. Right. Which would work in this situation. But because I need to know fucking every about Joker and Harley Quinn and fucking L. Diablo and fucking dead shot. Like, I mean, Captain Boomerang, don't. Please, God, don't forget about Captain Boomerang. Just for a flash cameo. If you want to make it like the dirty dozen, just focus on Rick Flagg. That is your, he's the drill sergeant. Yes, you unite these things. Things. No, no, they're things. The killer crock is there. It's things is appropriate. He's the Lee Marvin. Like, he is.

Exactly. He's the killer crock. He's in two. No, no. No. He's a John Cassavetes, I believe. Oh, poor Cassavetes. But, yeah, I think that, like, you just have to streamline it. You have no backstory of anything. Understand that people are going to come to this movie. Like, I just want to watch superheroes fight each other. And, like, Deadshot, oh, he's got a gun.

Oh, Harley Quinn, she's crazy. Got it. You know what I mean? I'm like, got it, got it, got it. Wait, Steve, she's crazy? They only say it 59 times. And it's a lot of, like, you fucking. stupid crazy bitch

oh everybody get a look at this crazy bitch over here we're dropping the B oh what a bitch this militarized Arkham too they can keep oh the fucking swamp prison well it's a Belrieve which is a different prison it's canon

yeah in the uh in the really yeah I thought it was Arkham no she's in Arkham in her flashback scenes but then we're in Belreve all right because she was working at her she's yeah she's a doctor at Arkham Someone put out a map and a legend for this fucking movie. Dude, it's seriously like fucking Game of Thrones, man.

I mean, just keep it simple. Even keeping it simple. So the movie starts with two scenes, and this is not the extended cut. This is all cuts. It starts with a dead shot scene of him in prison talking to Ike Barron Holtz, who gets a lot of play in this movie. And then a Margo Roby scene where she's talking to Ike Barron Holtz. Then we start.

And then we have Amanda Waller talking to. the great... David Harbor and other people about, like, going through all the bios. So what was the point of those first two scenes? No. And then from that, they go into another boardroom meeting.

Like, they're having a steakhouse dinner and she goes like... It looks great. It does. Everything about this, it's like, it's a shady D.C. dinner ripped right out of house of cards. Favorite part of the movie, that looked delicious.

Yeah, she's had... Amanda Waller's having a great meal. If this had just been... my dinner with Andre but with Amanda Waller and David Harbor I could get into this because Dave Harbor

Just them talking about the Joker and shit and that's it and like and negotiating about how you would put this squad together I remember when the Joker

was doing Uncle Vanya on 42nd Street But like the two of them are great actors him and Viola and then there's some other fat white guy there a non-clancy Brown

right but that's it's fascinating. Just like hearing conversation between government officials talking with like superhero government officials. Like it's good shit. And then we go to the same exact boardroom that's in the rock. You know what I mean? And we're doing that. And then we

go through the idea of a suicide squad yet again. Well, we go for the enchantress in the boardroom is like the last one. Well, this is, it's the demo. Yeah. It's like, hey, want these special things from Tehran. Oh, yeah, and he's like, I've been going after that book for years. And this here witch got it for me in half a second.

I believe Tehran has a bunch of books of secrets. Yeah, it's just a big old book of secrets that they write everything down in. All right, put an extra big lock on that one. Hey, where'd you? Hey, anyone see my secret book? Anyway, talk about the Echantress for a second. I don't understand part of this character because it's Dr. June. No, no, it's just June moon.

It's not Mooney cabin. Oh, I thought it was June Mooney. No, June Moon. That's even worse. June Moonie was on the honeymooners. So she's an archaeologist. And what I don't understand about this is she gets down to that caves, belongs down there, finds this ancient artifact, and immediately breaks it.

Like, aren't you supposed to, you're supposed to preserve? Isn't you like your number one job to be careful with this shit? It belongs in a museum. Oh, no. Oh, now. Marcus Brody's a witch now. Oh, my God. Del Home Elliott as the enchantress.

Sign me up. Sure. The thing that I don't know. I don't know if I was just like tired watching this a second time or what, but like I couldn't remember one in the theatrical cut when they come up with like, you know, dead shots. Oh, my God. Were the stats in the theatrical? Yes, they were. There's the thing.

There's so much stupid shit that they plug into these. You can't read it. Nonsense. Not one of them you can read. I did read that Rick Flagg is a three handicapped and golf. I did. There's, um, I got a couple of them actually. Oh, good.

Oh, here we go. Fucking Harley Quinn. I wanted to kill myself. It just flashes total wild card. Yeah. Oh, totally wild. And like then for enchantress, it says that her brother, who we will get to Incubus

not Brandon Boyd sadly sadly they couldn't get them is that a family name yeah I believe you know what they could have got Brandon Boyd they didn't want to get Brandon Boyd they didn't want to get Brandon Boyd I think Incubes is the only band in the universe it's not on the soundtrack That's true

They say he's kept in a jar which is incorrect No yeah he's just out of the statue He's in a statue and they just say nope he's in a jar now well that's one of the various reshoots probably they they fuck that one up Anyone notice Rick Flagg's hair in this movie flips and flops a little bit?

Does it really? Oh, yeah, man. Like in the first couple of scenes, he's got like kind of a long swoosh back thing. Sure. And then in the middle of the movie, right after his girlfriend goes AWOL, he gets a haircut. I guess he gets a real like a buzz cut. Oh, it's a grief haircut. Yeah.

And then at the end of the movie, it comes back, which is nice. And Rick Flagg is played by Joel Kinnaman from Robocop and The Killing, who I think is a good actor. You know, it's weird. I'm noticing this is like, As much as the golden age of TV has given us so many great performances, these guys don't go on to do much. Am I wrong?

I mean, like, it's a mixed bag, look at Cranston. Look at fucking Cranston. Man, these movie roles that Cranston's in these days. Here's the thing is, TVs were to be.

Go back to TV. Exactly. Cranston should go back. Yeah, exactly. Like Aaron Paul is doing the pack the path right now. The path. It's awesome.

It's awesome. It's coming back soon. Steve, do you know that? Oh, I did know that? Yeah. Steve and I are the only ones at I don't watch it. Oh, you watch it too? Oh, it's

Kevin, do you know what's coming back? I did. I had to write it up. I have not found the path yet. Oh, you'll find it. It's a Hulu show. You should lead me down. It's Hulu. Yeah, Eric's straight up level one or a rung one is what he is. Oh, shit, is this like Path Talk? I don't know. Yeah, it's a bit of Path Talk.

Welcome back to PathChat. Oh, no, Pathfinder. That's the name of the podcast. Oh, there it is. You know Michelle Monahan's really underrated. She is. He's great. No, no, I'm sorry. But you're in a minute. But, like, dude, Brian Christen can, he's going to be in the new Wes Anderson movie. Like, that's a big get. Like, and I know I'm, I think the only person in the room here who really likes Godzilla, but like. The thing about, he's, someone's going to be in the new Wes Anderson movie.

Yeah, with 70 other people. That's 70 other people. But this is, this is, uh, I don't know, because it's a, it's an animated movie. So it's not like you're getting to see the Cran man up on screen. he's a fucking stop motion dog that's what I call my poker night does he bring the beer or do you oh he always brings the beer man he's very generous

I mean in Cranston the Cranman's great you know what I mean Cranman The Ham man is not getting work these days Wait is that John Ham? He farts onto that Kimmy Schmidt show every now and again They're all great it's just sort of this thing

It's like oh man TV it's not really a launching pad For anyone's career No one does do with these people. Well, you know what? It's a changing media landscape. I read that. Gizmondo had that one. I say go back to TV, everyone.

Yeah, to everybody. So, I mean, Will Smith, go back to TV. Come on, Roseanne. Come home. Just what I need. More TV shows. Yes.

No, I don't. There's too many TV shows. So, I mean, like, so we're just going through like Dead Shots thing. This is we get our. are fun Deadshot's character

by the way in the comics is somebody that wants to die in a spectacular fashion that's why he joins the suicides

that's not mentioned once in the movie that's like his thing is like he wants to be killed like he wants to die like a warrior's death kind of a thing that's so much more interesting

than anything than my baby daughter than oh my god my baby daughter I have to make sure that everything's okay with my baby daughter and she's so smart

don't you have so much hope for her she's so smart no I don't you have to help her with their homework at the end. By the way, now, Steve, we're running down the cast of characters. Sure. Can you give me the backstory on

one Captain Boomerang? He's a flash villain. He's just in the Aussie with a bunch of different kinds of fun Boomerang. Oh, that's interesting. Yeah. He's got a sillier costume in the comics. He does. Listen, this is how you trim this fucking fat man. Captain Boomerang, you're out of there.

Adam Beach. I don't need to pick up the phone to call you. Slip knot? I think. Oh, oh, man, how long have you been holding that in your back pocket? Just like a second. Come on, I'm a quick guy. I'm like the flash of this podcast. I like that slip knots in this movie gets his fucking head blown off immediately. I like a one-note joke, you know what I mean?

And you want to get Adam Beach to trick people? First of all, no one's like, oh, they can't kill Adam Beach. See, that's the thing. Like, of course you can. Yeah. Do that, like, get someone big. One, no boomeret or no, no slip-knott. sure captain boomerang he's the guy get some get john ham get john ham to play the guy right yeah yeah that's cool and then he gets his head blown off and you're like wow i didn't think they could kill john ham but here we are you know most certainly can kill jac courtney yeah oh yeah that's true he is annoying in this movie this character is so stupid did you but didn't you like the pink unicorn man wasn't that random uh oh r capital r random that guy's got a

big unicorn. I just, I don't even know what that's in reference to, but it's hilarious. And he's throwing all these things. I mean, it's just too much. And you know what's funny? Random. I think I saw, when the first time I saw this movie, I swear I must have seen it.

I think what happened was I got off the one train and I was going to the theater at 84th in Broadway to see this movie. And when I walked through the door, I stepped into a slider's universe tunnel and went to a different universe to watch this movie for the first time because I had

the strongest of memories if you were like Andrew who dies in Suicide Squad I would have been like Adam Beach and most definitely Captain Boomerang I had it in this movie that Captain Boomerang bit it somehow Did Sinbad play Shazam in that movie?

Man that's a crazy fucking thing that's been going around It's stupid people just don't know what movies are I'm sorry it's also a thing where it's like Here's the easiest people are both marginally racist and don't know what movies are That's the thing. That's the bigger thing that none of these articles are talking about is because it's like, no, that wasn't Sinbad.

It was just Shaquille O'Neal the first time. Yeah, and there were both comedic actors in the 90s. They were both kind of funny in the 90s. They were. Shekeel O'Neill's funny now. Yeah. Sure. Sinbad.

I don't know what he's up there. It's also okay just to say I have a shitty memory. Yeah. You don't have to go to the internet and make a case in front of the internet about this. I was at a dinner with one lady one time years ago. an older woman who was a work event and she was like oh you know like we're about to see this great movie it's going to be great it's called he's not that into you or or she's not that into you that's what she thought she was going to go see and the movie was right he's just not he's just not that into you right that doesn't mean she went to a fucking parallel universe it just means that this particular lady didn't pay quite as much attention to the trailer as what she could have do you still have her number I do yeah let's ask her Which is it? The Berenstein Bears.

And that whole Mandela effect thing is how these people are justifying the Sinbad thing. And it's like, no, you're just mixing up black guys. Yeah, exactly. That's all it is. That's all it is. I don't need your fucking think piece.

That's all it is. You're just mixing up black guys and you don't want to admit it. And you should be embarrassed. Yeah, you should be embarrassed. Shut the fuck up and get out of here. Dead shots got a beautiful baby. Played by Forrest Whitaker.

I swear to God. Yes, of course, yes. Oh, no, he's dead shoot. Oh, he's a dead shoot in that movie? Played by Forrest Wittaker. You know, all these people could swear dead shoot was in this movie. I-09.com. What an alternate universe.

These racists live in. That's what it is? It just must be an alternate universe. Yeah, exactly. But Dead Shute's got a daughter. And he's dressed like it's the 1970s. It's a pretty hip-looking outfit. It's a great outfit.

I like it. You know, it looks like Cam Newton. You know, it's, yeah, he does. You know, it's the weirdest, a credit in this movie? Hair stylist for Will Smith. That's the easiest. I'm not kidding you. He's bald in this fucking movie.

Is that just beard care? I guess it must be. That's what it's gotta be. There's nothing else. Or pubes maybe. Oh, yeah, you're going to trim them pubes. I mean, he probably went method with it. A couple pubes got in the shot.

Yeah. The Jared Leto sent him a box of pubes. Oh. Injic. Random. Totally random That's so weird I'm gonna be such a random

Joker So Batman shows up in this scene Random right Oh my god Oh wait alright This is a DC movie fun It's the biggest like We're gonna put this in the trailer

So it's like please see this movie You know Batman's in it It's gonna be there You can sniff this out A mile away the desperation Yeah, he's in there. He's, I mean, like, he's like, Deadshot, it's over, I guess. I mean, like, although Deadshot is traditionally a Batman villain or he started as a Batman villain.

It's a real low stakes thing, though. He's like, hey, Deadshot, you're an assassin, I guess. Not much of a bigger plot than that, but you're coming with me. It's like a Wednesday night for Batman. By the way, there is your exposition. I don't need the fucking dossier of how cool he is or whatever. No, you definitely do. If Batman's after him, all right, I got it.

He's a villain. It turns out he's a villain. And like, it's such a stupid, like, Batman needs to fight, dead shot. It shouldn't be a fucking back and forth parent teacher conference about how you have to give up your shit and then maybe your daughter's going to be okay. And then the daughter gets, you know, first of all, like, he's cried about his daughter this whole time. She gets in the way of his gun to fucking save Batman. man's life? I'm like, I don't know. Save this white guy on the street. Steve. Steve. Yeah. You're telling me you wouldn't give up your father or mother for Batman.

Well, you've got to contextualize this in a way that you live in a world where Batman is. Sure. It's sort of like, Steve, if Phoenix Jones, the quote unquote real life superhero in Seattle tried to kill your father, would you defend Phoenix Jones? I wouldn't. Phoenix Jones is not as beloved as Batman. Nor is he that revered. I will say, though, Batman, you need to just, like, be up on a rooftop. Yeah.

Do a little bat something and pull him up and deal with it. You can't have shenanigans in a closed quarters alley. You know what's going on there, Bruce Wayne. Or look at, you know, you're the world's greatest detective. Look at the custody agreement and see which days his daughter isn't going to be there and then attack him then. Or you know what? Batman had that giant. sniper rifle and Batman versus Superman.

Deadshot is a world famous marksman. Invite him to the archery contest. Right? The Gotham City archery contest. Are you playing Batman as Robin Hood right now? Wait, are they different? One doesn't have a green cap.

One was definitely played by Sinbad in the 90s. No, that was Oliver Queen. Right? Yes, that's true. Wait, what's that? Green Arrow? The Green Arrow. That's just Robin Hood, right? Yeah, that's Robin. Yeah, that's Robin. Can we also, Deadshot, they open, like, the first of the seven outroes of this reverse return of the king.

It opens with, like, that movie did a reverse Peter Jackson. It's pretty cool. That's brilliant. Actually, a reverse return of the king sounds like a sex move. I had last night go. It was great. I pulled the reverse return of the king on her. Holy shit.

Making a case in front of the internet. reverse make it yeah yeah by the way I need the map on that too a Tolkienesque map what are you saying cab it opens with and we could talk about this

because it's fucking the biggest thing it opens with the house of the rising sun well because we're in New Orleans so we gotta be as little as possible you have to fucking music in this movie

this soundtrack it's obnoxious they're all mostly good classic rock songs but I just wish I was in a bar listening to them and not watching listen i just wish i was watching uh i just wish i was watching uh i just wish i was watching guardians of the galaxy yes because they did it already suicide squad also i wrote down some of these songs because they had the the thing is a nice little pop song could guss you up

your movie absolutely sure and that's a nice thing but it's egregious how much it's used because it's establishing the prison we got house of the rising sun then they're they're like getting out into the yard so that Rick Flagg can assess them and we have the White Stripe Seven Nation Army and then immediately when they're gearing up in their super villain regalia we have some fucking M&M

song. Without me. And this is like we're talking 40 seconds at least on all these songs. And then when they get into the helicopter right after that we have Spirit in the sky. And we also have the Harley Quinn song. You don't own me. It's just like. It's too much.

And we get to the we get to the the Amanda Waller dinner there. They're playing Boss lady eating a steak. Boss lady by the John Goodman band. Big time, man.

Boss lady, gonna chow right down. Oh yeah, totally. That happens when you order a steak at the House of Blues. And John Goodman has to come out every time. Just fucking haggard

by the end of the night. Oh, you're one person ordering a steak for three, huh? You got a song. Boss lady eating the steak. Boss lady don't need no A1. That actually originated on the set of Roseanne. Little girl getting as a human shield for Batman.

What's amazing, by the way, Deadshot. You're officially congratulations. The only villain that Batman's put away that doesn't break out immediately. Yeah. How are you the one guy that didn't do that? And he doesn't brand him in his weird arcane, remember? I was expecting the brand. I think that's only for the pedophiles.

Oh, wait. Wait, wait, everyone in Batman versus Superman was a pedophile? No, he's just, he brands that kid toucher. But there's other guys? They imply that he's branding everybody. I thought they just implied he brands kid touchers. Okay. He's just branding people he wants to die.

Like, so it can be, of course, the kid touchers are going to be tails. I don't have to save you, but I could brand you. kid touch her. And then I know a bunch of really fucking angry men in prison and they're going to take you right out. By the way, I have a solemn vow for human life, but I'm just going to branch you anyways. Hey, that brings to mind, how did 2016 come and go and Jared Fogel still walk on the earth? Ah, you know. He's in, uh, what's the prison called? He's in Belrieve. Yeah, he's in

Belrieve. He's down in Norland. He's going to, they're going to, they're playing fucking like Eminem and he's going to be suiting up getting a sandwich out of the That's the worst of the worst We've got to get Jared Fogel It goes from Deadshot with House of the Rising Sun To Harley Quinn with You Don't Own Me And then goes to Jerry Fogel with puppy love

Yeah and then Bernie Madoff Money they play the old Money Money Money Money Money Charles Manson They just play some of his original music They're all going up You know they assemble them all to take down Edward Snowden

Totally You replace Deadshot with the D.C. sniper Shot through the heart! Scott Peterson's still alive probably? I think so, yeah.

You got some like boat songs. Some yacht rock or it's the love though. Yeah. Or vampire weekend starts playing.

Yeah. The devil inside but in an excess. Yes. We have to get Scott Peterson. Holiday on a holiday

Oh, Susan. But also, like, dude, you want to shave a little bit everybody was talking about how expensive this fucking movie was want to shave

five to ten million off of it? Yep. Why not fucking let some of these licenses go? Totally. Because it's every other fucking scene.

And then you have your original soundtrack music, which is much worse. Oh, yeah. So much worse. And I have to suffer through that shit. It's all working on

presumption that people are going to buy this soundtrack, which, like, I feel like when you have nothing but like classic rock jams, who gives a shit? Go on fucking Pandora, you know, and play any of these songs, you'll hear them all in a row. Totally, I don't need them compiled into one CD with a spray-painted case.

Pandora, are you talking about enchantress? Yes, I'm opening Pandora's bongs. Oh, random. Well, no, that's not random. That's what everyone was playing. That's what everyone wanted. Strategic So we've also got

Jay Hernandez Who I didn't realize Was Jay Hernandez I didn't know He's lost a lot of weight He looks pretty good in this movie He does Mine is the face tattoos

He plays L Diablo Which is You know And he's just the most Boring character With the whole fucking lot Of him in me Yeah

He's just complaining Dude we don't get his backstory until like What like Almost two hours into this movie And this is how Revolutionary of filmmaker David Ayer is dude

Because You want to save yourself of one of them juicy little flashbacks. Of course, for the third act of the film. Fucking toss it in there. Because I was just waiting for it. Yeah, dude. For this guy who said five things.

Speaking of the first 90 minutes. Of useless characters. And I didn't, you know, approximately, I didn't really, you know, strategically counted. But it's about 40 minutes into the movie when we're introduced to Katana. Yeah. Who is the most useless character ever created. For what? Is this a real character?

Yeah, she's great. She's got a sword. It's like, you mean, we're going through this all and I have got a fucking deal with all this crap. And then I get Rick Flagg being like,

oh yeah, and her soul steals, her sword steals souls. Which I don't see fucking once in this one. No, of course not. Because how could you? Because they go up against

fucking bubble gum men. Yeah, they go against a fucking putty patrol from Mighty Morphan Power Rangers. It's just like, Who could care? Who could care? Speaking of bad Brian Cranston moves, by the way.

Get ready for it. I've already dealt with Killer Crock eating a lot, like not alive, a dead fucking goat in his little cave. Like, it's too much. And by the way, the bubblegum men or the bubblegum men. That's from the comics, right? That's what they're called the bubblegum men? Like, okay, here's my biggest issue with this whole fucking movie. Okay.

How can't soldiers just shoot these things in the fucking head? I mean, I totally agree. Why do we need the suicide squad? I mean, we don't. I can understand maybe Deadshot. He's the best marksman in the world, sure. Killer Croc, not really. Like, just get, especially Harley Quinn, who's a maniac, and she's not particularly good.

She's good at fighting, but she's not particularly good at anything. Get five soldiers is worth one, Harley Quinn. You know what I mean? Yeah. That's it. Fucking clone Scott Eastwood three times. We're ready to go. Oh, God, let's not.

Look at that fucking mannequin in this. movie. He looks like his dad's Madam Tussow's statue. He does. Honestly, he's got like, for some reason I can't focus on him. Yeah. He has no presence. He does no presence in anything he does.

It's, it's eerie. It's honestly Erie. His father had presence on the screen. And this guy, it's just like you're saying, it's a statue. Is it looking at a car in a movie? Exactly. Exactly. Oh, wow. A VW golf. All right. Oh, wait. That was

Scott Eastwood. Oh, that's a nice... That's a nice car. Anton Sugar is going up. Oh, he's riding Scott Icewood. Up to the pharmacy, really? Bring Scott Eastwood around to take the kids. Oh, wow.

I didn't realize Scott Eastwood was a stick shift. Oh, you know what, Jane, your boyfriend's out there laying on the Scott Eastwood horn. Will you just get out there already? Yeah, Ryan Gosling's outside just punching Scott Eastwood. His most convincing roles would be inanimate object. Yes. Hey, you want to play my chair? You're going to play a chair that, oh, bummer,

is supposed to be sitting on. See, that's the thing is, like, we were watching the RNC that year, and Clint Eastwood brings out a chair. It turns out he was trying to introduce us to his son, but he was just his chair. I saw a chair. It turns out it was his son. He was just belittling him.

his son at the RNC. If your driveway has Scott Eastwood on Cinderblocks next to another Scott Eastwood on Cinderblocks, you might be a redneck. Dude's a car. What doesn't make any sense, though, on top of this all... Did you never make out in the back of a Scotty's? Oh, big time, dude. Scott Eastwood's got a lot of leg room in the back.

That's what you want. That's what you want in a Scott Eastwood is leg room. Can you put the back seats down in your Scott Eastwood? Oh, they fold right down. Okay, that's good. I love a cup holder in my... You need, and the back ones, too. Got a topless Scott Eastwood.

Oh, yeah, dude, for those summer days. Totally. Just sitting inside Scott Eastwood, wind through my hair. So, Killer Croc, right? He's a classic-ish Batman villain. Sure. I never much cared for him, but it's fine. I mean, I think Adabisi there does a great job.

He does. Yeah, it's just, it's one of those things where, in the Batman world for me when it starts veering more towards the ninja turtles I kind of would check out the monsters like the outright monsters my clay faces

why in Belrieve prison do they give him this like impenetrable cell that people keep getting killed get him in a regular cell like everybody else why did he could he hide you don't want him to be hiding in the water Steve Steve because he axed that's exactly right

so he asked for it My problem with this is, like, if you're going to do... Everything. Yeah. If you're going to do the monster party, it works better in the fun DC of where you have like a Pat Hingle or whatever. You have the Keystone cops here. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But the idea that we're trying to make this, you know, grim and dark and gritty and whatnot, and it's like, okay, well, you're trying to make this more realistic. And in the real world, people are being shot for nothing. But you're going to save an alligator monster. Like when they first arrested this guy, or I guess was it, Batman that did it? Yeah, Batman got him. That's a flashback. We didn't bother to film.

Because that would be action and it would be good. They would just execute him. He wouldn't have human rights. Well, especially an African-American Killer Croc, which we get in this movie. That's a double kill. Yeah, yeah, exactly. But it's like, Killer Croc is actually, like, as far as Amanda Waller's definition for what she needs, like killer crock is more on the side of what you need and it's not as much a dead shot

because her whole argument is like hey we really dodged a bullet that superman shares our values but he could have ripped the roof off the white house and killed the president so we need to have more like you know ultra humans or whatever they call them metahumans to like fight the next wave of whatever but let's get a bunch of punishers together yeah what do we do and captain boomerang fits that qualification was really el diablo is the only like genuine killer crock has that

about but it's not like he has any godlike ability El Diablo is the only one right because okay so boomerang is good at boomerangs and he makes very special boomerangs that you can use

which he doesn't do in this movie he never uses a boomerang he never throws a boomerang and catches it but the thing is like half of this squad has no superpowers whatsoever like they're good at things

yes was the well really that dry I don't know yeah get me like there's other people you can get. Get me the egg man. Get me the egg man. Exactly.

Or just or make that make it again like about villains. Like oh we're being overrun by supervillains. The penguin kidnaps the president's daughter. Exactly. It's a thing where we have to go send these people who we want dead anyway to do this thing. And those people much like the dirty dozen by the way. Exactly. Or mag seven or seven samurai, whatever the fuck.

Like they got to start dying, man. You can't just kill two. Rogue one. Or Rogue one. Yeah, exactly. If Superman or the Flash showed up, all these people would be dead. Like, Superman would just fucking murder everybody. And that's the end of it.

That's the end of the movie. But we don't, yeah, you're right. It's just a team of punishers. And it makes no sense. I got to hear her fucking spiel at the beginning of this movie. And then we do have Enchantress who is, you know, they've got her heart. And she becomes kind of the whole movie, which is wrongheaded. Right.

Magic doesn't belong in this world. And I know magic is in the comics. basically part of the suicide squad right yeah she is so the suicide squad versus the suicide one of their own goes rogue immediately like there's no villain that's why the joker needs to be the villain and then it's like harley quinn finds out that they're going up against the joker and it's like oh my god i'm conflicted i love my miss to jay and you know what that wouldn't putin putin and as much as we hate jared leto in this movie that would have given him something to do it would also make sense why you would put Marga Robbie in this movie because then he'd be like

oh my God Harley Quinn she's the only one that knows his mind and the only way that she's going to get off for a sentence we can trust her can we trust her and she used to be a shrink yeah sure and knows everything about him yeah exactly and that would certainly be a more positive message of like I'm going after my attacker yeah then this

thing they've got going on here it's it's weird it's really disgusting it feels like they assembled the idea for a movie and dodged the movie they yeah they totally they set up nothing they set up just a bunch of

and can we mention black guppman it's honestly most of this fucking movie is them wandering the streets fighting gupgutman yep a bunch of goop people and it's you know this this movie's totally satisfactory for a video game

and these are the cut scenes you're like going around with with all these supervillains fighting goopman and you talk to captain boomerang for a minute in a cutscene. Yeah, sure. And that's it. That's all you have to deal with.

And his Samsung tablet fucking boomerang gets all the video for you and comes right back. Boy, oh boy, Chris Cabin. By the time credits were rolling, I was ready to go to Best Buy and get a Samsung Galaxy S8. Oh no, but he uses those

because they're explosives, right? He said explosives expert. Just gonna set this to charge and then it's gonna blow up the whole city. Hey, Steve, by the way. plug in more Samsung into the bank and blow the vault. Would they go to Midway City? Is that what it's called?

And who lives there? Bob Costas. No, I don't know. I actually, I forget. It's not a superhero home town. It's Hockman. Yeah, maybe sometimes. I went to the Wikipedia for.

It's Hockman. Mid-Center or whatever. Midway City. Midway City. Okay. And, you know, maybe Wikipedia was falsely edited or something. But it was really funny because it was like, this is the hometown of Hawkman and Hulkgirl.

Hawkman currently resides in St. Roos, Louisiana. It's just like an update. Hawkman moved. Yeah, I guess Hawkman left so they had nothing to do there. I guess, but that's got to be the only justification because why are we in a superhero's hometown and there's no superhero dealing with this?

Yeah. You have to have to have something about Hawkman moved. and the hawk ladies on vacation i've already got badman in this i already have arkham we didn't see much of gotham at all in yeah that i remember in badman versus superman and got them do gotham just do gotham you got the joker do gotham it's a city it's just the the scenes we see of gotham we can get in the common scene oh god i mean like how was how did this survive the cutting Seriously. I know. I know. Of all the scenes Jared Leto shot for days and days and days and fucking edge to and sent condoms to people and fucking cut the eyes out of teddy bears to get to the scene that he needed to get to. Why did the common scene make it? I'll tell you exactly. I mean, this is a movie that you can tell is just market tested to death. Sure. Like they were trying to get every fucking demo they could. And one of those demos doesn't just need to see Margo Robi and like,

half naked most of the movie. They need to see her grinding up against something. So they have her in a fucking cage in this scene, grinding up against some random person. But again, it's just cut to the Joker at the office, man, and there's a cage there that she's dancing. I, like, combine these scenes. I don't need this.

And also, if you're going to put Common in a movie, I'm sorry, I love Common. He's awesome. He's got songs longer than this movie appearance, one of which is in the end credits. It's true. Like, what the fuck? And I mean, like, she, the way that they write her in this movie, and, like, there's a bunch of different ways to write her and then she's written in.

But she's the Joker's bitch. You know what I mean? Like, she's not even the Joker's girlfriend. All of the, like, weird appropriation of, like, daddy's little whatever and the tattoos on her asshole or whatever else she has to get. It's a bit odd. And I'm not a big fan of the over-sexualized Harley Quinn that we got. Because the character, initially, there's one scene in this movie where she's dressed the old way with the sort of actual. Harley Queen, Harley Quinn.

Yeah, and that's some like hallucination or something that she's having. It's not even a scene from the movie. Like the jester outfit. Yes, which is cool, you know. And it's because it doesn't necessarily need to be sexualized. She's just a woman that's, you know, dating the Joker and murdering people. A. David A.R. movie. Not sexualizing.

You need, you need people to want to pleasure themselves in the basement. And if she's in a big Harlequin jumpsuit like that, nobody's pulling pod. Right. That's why it says. Putting on her. Well, they are. It does not say pudding. Yes, it does. Wait, no, it says pudding. Yes. It does. I read

pudding. Random. That's so random. Oh, my God, pudding. It just, yeah, and he just, like, it's kind of funny because, like, a joke is like, hey, you want to sleep with my girlfriend? He's like, what am I an idiot? No, of course I don't.

And, like, that's the Joker trick then, though. He's like, now you insulted me and shoots him in the head and you're like, all right, I've been here for seven minutes. There is, and there's a fun scene when they're driving around and the Batman, the Batman catches them and she's like, you're ruining.

And she's, like, honestly, like, her timing is really good in this movie. She's good. A lot of her jokes land, which is like, you're ruining date night. I actually laughed. You know what I mean? Like, it's a good joke. Yeah. It lands. She delivers it properly. Like, everybody's having a great time. But also, that's like a two-minute

bit of a Batman movie. I'd rather be watching. Oh, absolutely. And then we cut back to Rick Flagg taking a shit. You're just like, oh, damn it, suicide squad. But that to me is the number one problem is that it keeps on like, well, it could be this movie too. If you want it to be this movie, we could make it this movie. But no, no, no, let's go back to the other movie.

And like, there are so many things that absolutely drive me nuts about Jared Leto and number one on that list. It drives you wild, huh? Is this? The Atlanta Falcons laugh That he does Now Chris Cabin put his face His face He put his hand over his face

To mimic the The Simpsons gag And also the tattoo on Jared letters Of the fucking smiling Oh no does he I didn't notice that How did you not notice that? Because I got to lay off the pipe

That's why That's normal Fair for that you know that But like That's the one thing Like if he's gonna do the laugh you got to do the laugh. And he does it in other scenes.

Yeah. But like what? Just because that's interesting? I don't know. No, it's not. It's not at all. It's really stupid. We had a cut scene that was in the extended cut.

I don't know. I think it wasn't in the theatrical where Harley Quinn and the Joker are driving around and they shoot a trucker. She shoots a truck. Oh, yeah. That's extended. Yeah. But what, you know, which would be fine, you know, but the Joker has a line in this that I'm just like, come like this whole scene made me dislike it more like yeah yeah i agree you know when you're

reading about this stuff and they're like oh if they just put more of the stuff in you would like it more no no he says that like like i'm an idea i'm a state of mind yeah like he's knocking god with that really that's a speech by the way yeah but it's also like who could care like i don't like the over anal analysis of the joker we fucking thought the joker to death sure resulting in this shit the joker isn't an idea he's a fucking clown that kills people right that's not an serial murderer and i know it's been harped onto death but heath ledgers like this anarchist joker was the best yeah it's because it's very specific you know what i mean this is ever he's a gangster because he's like you know dealing with common and stuff like that and he's got

like clubs or people are grinding so he's a gangster but he's also got like goons that are cartoonish like the old school joker yeah there's like a dude who's wearing like a like a fucking polar bear costume or something when they raid this lab. Is she shooting a gun with that thing? And it's like, oh, I think it was a panda bear by the. Oh, yeah, you're right. But it's like how does that,

how would that be advantageous in a fight in any way, shape, or form? You can't see anything. But that's why it's very like Batman cartoony, which is a different kind of Joker. There's that one scene where in, and we're all over the place. There's really no plot to this movie. There isn't.

Sorry, nobody. Nobody cares. Where this guy's like, oh, you know, Harley Quinn is being, Hey, Mr. Joker, he's like number two. He's like, who has no name or any characteristic? He's a guy with a beard. It's just like, I'm a guy with a beard.

He's a guy who looks like Ike Barron holds with a beard, which is what's confusing. So he comes to, he's like, hey, they're holding her at Bel Reeve. It's a swamp in Louisiana. And he's like, bring the car around. And he lays down. He starts laughing. And he's in this spiral of knives, which is stupid. It doesn't make any sense.

And there's like, if you look at the shot. Oh, I've looked because it's the worst shot in the movie. There is like little kid like Ron. Yeah, there's baby onesies. Is he like killing babies? Like, what are we talking about? No, it's just random. Yeah, it's pretty random.

It's so fucking round. Oh, man. Oh, my God. You guys, I got it. It's a spiral organization of knives, but then also a couple of IMAX. And some baby onesies. And some IMAX 3D classes too off to the side. The Joker was actually going to donate all that to charity.

it's around the holidays he's so twisted but he's oh man those knives go to a soup kitchen you want to know how i got these tax breaks man i'll tell you what if that wasn't what you were going to say that's what i was going to follow it up with yeah there you go oh it's just it's so stupid and it's just not explain he he does have three scenes and like basically uh when they go off on their mission he uh ike baronholz i guess is a gambling problem by the way that's a different guy though you're mixing up too no no no ike baronholtz has a it's him ike baronholtz is the scuzzy prison guy yeah yeah i i think it's the same

he has a number two that looks exactly like him yeah who's so who's doing the taunting of that's ike baronholt's at the beginning of the movie it's all like baronholt he's like the scuzzy guard really throughout the whole because i thought it was him and then a guy who looks like a cross between Ike Barronholtz and Tim Blake Nelson. That's who I thought that guy was. I think it's just bad lighting. No, I actually played every member of this film. Oh, all interesting. I know he was

talented, but wow. So Ike Baranholtz has a gambling problem. The Joker gets his hooks into him and like as Harley Quinn's being let off on the suicide squad, he gives her a cell phone and he's like, the Joker's got a contact. She's like, you're so fucked. You're like, you're

so dead. And he's like, what do you mean? What do you mean? We'll never know, because it's not in the rest of the movies. That whole thread. That character is just a lot movie. I would have maybe liked to see Joker like actually kill somebody and actually torture him, but no, no, no.

All this, not action, great. You know what's crazy? This movie. The Joker? This movie. No, Harley Quinn, you're crazy. Lady, you're crazy. Hey, lady, you're crazy.

O, crikey, she's a rabbit hole. Don't fall down, mate. Hey, that one's pretty out there. Huh? Guys. And I'm El Diablo. I have nothing bad to say about anybody. I'm an alligator, but you're crazy.

Yes. You know, what's funny about El Diablo is the fact that he's already had his journey where he's like improved and become a better person. Right. And then he's the one that has to like fucking fix this movie again? I'm sorry, there's a god with the power of fire. Yeah. And he uses the fire to say goodbye to Joel Kinnaman once and then nothing until the end of this movie.

Can someone have a journey? Can some character grow from this experience? No. They do in friends. Everybody becomes friends at some point. No, no, no, no, no. You know what, Steve? It's not just friends.

As Vin Diesel would say, it's family. There is so much shit at the end of this movie about like even El Diablo himself. Yeah, he's like, don't mess with my family. He's like, I already lost one family. I'm not going to lose another one. And I was like, stop being friends with each other. What are you talking about? Yeah.

Well, the movie just stops. And they're like, I guess they should probably just sit down and have a drink. You know what I mean? Like, we've been out for a while. It's been like, this whole thing is like a day. Yeah. Like, if you want to make them become a fan, have them go overseas for a month and a half. Yeah.

Like, let them get through. Let them take a cruise. Or, like, go through the day. Maybe they're invading Von Doom or that's Marvel. But like something in your, you know, there has to be an external threat. Well, that would also allow for a villain, a compelling villain, rather than just enchantress doing like moving like this. Just doing dancing stuff.

I wish people at home could see what Chris just did. That's just for you. That's the special show for these guys. Sometimes it pays to be on this show. A Christmas bonus is. That's why you got to come to. live shows, man, March 4th at the Bellhouse, N.Y.com.

It's just, the beef is so much for the beginning of the movie, no one's on the same page, and so much of it is like, should we be a suicide squad? Should we not be a suicide squad? Right. I'm leaving. No, you're not. Why? Because you have a bomb in your neck. Do I still? Yeah, you do. Okay.

Which is the lay... That's the laziest shit, by the way. Lazyest writing ever. It's like, how do I keep this team together? Oh, they got a bunch of dog collars on them that make their heads blow. yeah yeah the whole like battle royale thing but you know what's really fucking stupid is the fact that the joker comes in on that helicopter Harley Quinn leaves yes leaves the movie yeah leaves the movie and then immediately comes right back when that when that helicopter then crashes right

she falls onto she happens to fall onto a skyscraper's roof yeah thank thank heaven for that yeah and and then she just immediately goes back and joins the suicide squad No. They also go, they also go looking for her, which is stupid. But they don't, doesn't the Joker disengage her neck bomb as well? Right. Yeah. That was part of the whole thing.

So then why should she care? Why should she care? Because they're not just friends. They're family. Oh, they're at Olive Garden. Well, that fucking scene of them at the bar, just make it all of God. Oh, that'd take place at an Olive Garden. Why not?

Or at a Samsung phone factory. You know who would love Unlimited Br? Headsticks. Killer crime. Definitely. And the salad bar man. Well, you know what's funny? Of the fishheads unlimited as well, I am a crocodile person. You know, the last time I was in an Olive Garden, which was many moons ago, I think I did see a crocodile person coughing all over that salad bar. If you were going to go somewhere and find a crocodile person, I imagine Olive Gardens where it is. They love Alfredo sauce. turns out. You know, the best

part about me having to fucking suffer through that wretched Warren Beatty movie was that rules don't apply? Yeah, yeah, the worst film of the year. So I... We're not doing an episode of it. Right, yeah, because no. But it's terrible. And the best thing about it was I was

going to see it at wherever it was, the Fox screening room. So I got off the train and I was walking through Times Square a little bit and I just had the pleasure of passing a tourist family that the mother just went, oh, good, there's the Olive Garden.

I was like, oh, you're doomed. That's how you know where you are. You're at the Olive Garden. That's where we're going for lunch after we tour the M&M store, mother. I heard New York has good Italian food. I heard they have good burgers. Oh, good, they have a TGI Friday.

Like, what are you doing? Mudslides. What are you doing? So a couple of helicopters crash in this movie. I guess the whole really stupid thing is they're like, we got to go extract the package. We have to do this

video game thing. Go up Nakatomi Tower to get this fucking package. And the package is just Viola Davis. Are you kidding me? It's just... Wasn't it Octavia Spencer? Oh, no, I'm a racist. I'm sorry. Wasn't it Sinbad?

I think Sinbad played Amanda Waller. You know what? Sinbad played Amanda Waller in that Green Lantern movie, I swear to God. Oh, no. Octavia Spencer's in that suicide system I saw the suicide system last night

and Octavia Spencer was great in it dude Octavia Spencer is in that movie The Shack you see the trailer for this oh god

it's a crazy it's a real it's a real PTL movie man oh but just wait we're gonna do it yeah it is going to be bad

but so yeah to you and why that's a twist I have no idea I have no I think Joel Killingman keeps being

like yeah well the person that we're taking is a really brave person and then like Will Smith's like yeah this person better your cancer with all the work we're putting in no you're part of the suicide squad and we've already established

that you're here because we have a fucking bomb in your neck to your point earlier just make it the president's daughter or something make it actually something and I know that would be like oh that's too much like escape from L.A but who cares just do it something just anything or the president

himself or a senator or the vice president I can escalate the stock of this movie easily in this. Take her out. Who you're going to go get is fucking Hawkman. You're in Midway City. You've got to help Hawkman move. You've got to fucking, like, dude. Yeah, I got some packages.

Oh, Killer Crack, you look strong. You might want to take the bed frame and Deadshot. Got a TV with your name on it. I already boxed up most of it. If you want to check the closets, though, I haven't really gone through those Harley we're going to have to angle that the couch out of it. No, no, no, no. I think we're going to have to

take it apart. All right, guys, listen, everybody's been asking me at different points throughout the morning. Yes, I'm buying us all lunch around 1.30. All right. Now let's just get back to work. Captain Boomerang, that box has glass in it. I'm just saying, no, you're doing

fine. Just don't rush. Don't rush. El Diablo, do you want to get here? Here, sir. Okay. So, do you want to go get us all waters? Because we're going to get parched. These waters El Diabro butter, butter, they're fucking hot. I can't drink warm water while I'm moving someone. You know, I go, we drive to Hawkman's house to help him move,

and he hasn't even picked up the truck yet. So I have to wait outside on his stoop while he goes, gets the U-Haul. I didn't, I honestly, when Hawkman said that he was going to get this lunch, I thought he was, you know, I didn't think it was going to be a fucking turkey sandwich from the deli. I thought it was going to be an actual meal. Oh, Ben throws up food on the floor. eat up that is a great idea though

like have it be a secretly kidnapped superhero that'd be so cool yeah maybe he's like he's getting lethal weapon tortured somewhere sure they got a car battery hooked up to his tits but like it would be

it would be actually really cool if they did like this whole thing was to save Batman or something and it'd be like the guy who put us away yes and it's a real fuck you they open the door and they're like oh hell no are you kidding me it's just viola davis because it's viola davis and whatever i mean like she kills all of her analysts which is kind of a cool scene no it's not because it's it's so not

anything like it's honestly she belongs in the suicide squad now not as running it because of her crimes well because it's like she's supposed to be this like badass because she also says at one point like oh by the way jol kinneman like yeah totally you can leave and not do the suicide squad managing um and then i'll make sure you never see your girlfriend again he's like you know i heard all the stories about you but uh guess i was stupid enough to think some of them maybe wouldn't have been true and you're just like shut up just everybody shut up all these also all these people you don't think they are under some weird fucking legal thing where they can't they will you legally will be killed yes if you say anything yeah there's so nDAs abound in there's no

need to kill anybody. And now David Harbor has a real fucking mess on his hands. He's got to fucking get a cleaning crew. It's a whole fucking day. Well, at the end of this movie, which is funny, did anyone stay for the mid-credits scene? I sure did. Wait, there was a mid-credit scene? There is, yeah. It's a stinger.

Where it's Viola Davis and Ben Affleck having, like, lunch. Maybe the same steakhouse there at the lunch menu, I think. No, this is definitely her detectives office. It's like a fucking noir detective office. And she's like, they're sitting down. She's like, the wrong people are asking about Midway City. I'm like, what do you mean? Everybody knows what happened at Midway City? Because it's a national event. Yeah. It's called the news. Excuse me, Ms. Waller. It's called the news. Did you see what happened in the Atlantic? Three fucking ship sank. Oh, yeah. And the Navy reported it. I, as Bruce Way, need this file on all the meta-humans. And I'm in no way Batman.

Also, I'm part of the men in black, and we just blanked them all real quick. Oh, it's weird that you're giving me this file on the Flash and Aquaman because I just spent two and a half hours at another movie getting a different file on Aquaman and the Flash. Yeah, well, I think the thing about it is... And thank you for this enchantress knowledge now that she's dead. Thanks so much for that. Compare notes with Lex. I think she...

Well, because what he really only gets from Lex Luthor is all of the future Justice League marketing material. Oh, that's a promo. It's a bunch of quick time files. It's all these quick times that are part of a big EPK. It's not the actual juicy detail. Lex, is that a ProRes HQ file? What are we talking, H-264 or what? Like, what's the codec on that, bro?

But, like, it's so stupid, and she's just like, by the way, Mr. Wayne, like, you look tired. You should stop working nights. And everybody goes, eh, because it's bad. It's a pretty dark night out there. I'm not Batman. What's on the menu tonight? Filayed bats on.

Laying it on pretty thick there, Amanda. It's just so dumb. You know that I'm Batman, right? I mean, it just seems silly that I would sit here and pretend that I'm not Batman. You know what? Why not just have this scene with him as Batman? Yeah, that'd be cool.

He's done. He's talked to Commissioner Gordon as Batman. Exactly. Why not? Talk to Amanda Waller. It would be cool. It would be kind of cool. There are scenes.

There's famous scenes where Amanda Waller is shoving her finger in Batman's face, and he has to deal with him in the comments. It would have been interesting. It would have been cool. But that's the problem. It would have been interesting in the suicide. It could have been like, you know, we saved your ass in Midway City, right?

If he was the hostage, damn it, man. Well, because that's the whole point of the thing is to him to tease the Justice League because he's like, you've got to shut this shit down. And if you don't, me and my friends will. Wait. There's a Justice League movie coming out? Yeah, dude you didn't know? What?

I didn't. Also, this movie forces me to again watch some footage of Superman's fucking funeral, by the way, at the beginning of it. Thanks for nothing. Why are we even pretending he's dead? Is he going to be resurrected within nine minutes of that movie? Like, what are we talking about? The t-shirt, the guy with the remember t-shirt. Oh, sure.

You know what we should do actually? Not right now, but we should maybe a fun. We'll figure out a prize. Jump off a bridge. Let's all guess the minute in the Justice League wherein Superman comes back. Pops back in. Yeah, we'll open it up to the fans and then we'll have something

and make some sort of cool prize. Are we doing this now? We're going to guess? Let's go around the horn for us. Let's guess. I'm going to say because you guaranteed it's going to be a long as fuck movie. One hour you get some Superman.

I was going to say 40 minutes because I knew it was going to be a long movie. Actually, I'm with Eric. Like a 30 minute mark, I think. 30 minute? I'm going to, all right. I'm going to go, Price is right one minute. Opens. No.

I'll probably, you know what? I'm going to say an hour 40. Wow. You know what? That's also a good move because they might be like fucking teasing that shit. That's actually true. Also, because the rule is he's alive. Not like, you know, you see his dead body.

He has to be alive. Yeah, yeah. Where he's going to jump into something. But they know, they know that this Batman is more popular than that Henry Cavill Superman. And I guarantee you. much of this movie is going to be fucking front-loaded with him just going around getting the band together for the first time.

Well, it's all about the black suit, isn't it? Now he's going to have the black suit. Oh, yeah, Harley Quinn and black suit. So, like, yeah, we're fucking around in office buildings. There's a John Ostrander office building, which is nice for John Ostrander. Yeah, that's fantastic. I'm pretty sure he left the screening at that point. He's like, oh, fuck it!

John, did you see your tribute? Nope. So, like, yeah, then we, we pick up Harley Quinn again. She's, like, she's kind of sad. And she's like, oh, where are we going now? We're going for a drink, okay. Well, because now let's figure this out, though, at the end of this office building shenanigans. We're fighting a bunch of putty people and doesn't matter.

I'm asleep on the couch. There are three helicopter crashes. Yes. Three. There's one that's like, it's like hijacked by the Joker. Or maybe it's just two. one is hijacked by the Joker that inevitably crashes

and I'm supposed to think that the Joker's dead what a cliffhanger and then Amanda Waller's fucking goes down two seconds later and she somehow survived and the first one when they come into the fucking city

that one crashed Oh you're right no there are three fucking copter porn man I was gonna say Eric because I know you and I know your preferences here these are horrible copter shots

yeah they're all CGI let's let's no no no these are choppers. Oh, these are guaranteed this is military-grade

chopper. That's a chopper. This isn't a news copter. I'm more of a copter guy. Yeah, I'm definitely more of a copter guy. Yeah. And then,

an auto-gyro. I love auto-gyro. Viola Davis gets kidnapped and then does Enchantress turn into her and Rick Moranus into dogs at that point? I forget.

It's so fucking ghostbusters. It's so stupid. Oh, there is that science. I do have to, to say it because it's so stupid. There's the titular line in this movie. Oh, guaranteed. So Will Smith, even before we leave, he's like, oh, so you got us going into

this mission like some kind of suicide squad. Wicca, wicker, like we're some kind of, that happens, isn't that in the new Fantastic Four movie? Like, are we some kind of Fantastic Four movie? They say something

about like, one of them's like, we're the four. Where the, something, the four, and then, like, I think it's Miles Teller. Miles Teller's like, yeah, the fantastic fool. That's a spot on Miles Teller in fresh. I was in whiplash, and I'm going to use all the fumes in that fucking tank. It's like I'm some kind of Aquaman. My favorite scene, my favorite movie of the year was Manchester by the Sea,

and when Michelle Williams confronts Casey Affleck and she's crying, and she's like, my heart is broken. It's like we're in some kind of Manchester by the sea. What? She doesn't say that? I know. She doesn't.

But no, every movie has to have to show her a line. It's like I'm some type of Dr. Strange. Give me that tape. It's like it's some kind of videodrome. Put it into my chest.

vagina. Also, pause this immediately and go watch video drum if you have. That's a good call. So, yeah, Manda Waller gets kidnapped. We're all at a train station or something. When we go get a drink. Oh, right. And El Diablo tells this story where I guess it's like mouth, his wife mouthed

off to him and he burned his whole family down. That's correct. And everyone's like, hey, that's a cool dude. Yeah, that's an appropriate response. She said, don't bring drug money and weapons into my house and he killed her. Yeah, that's a death sentence. That's a big death sentence. But he's a soft soul, though.

Yeah, he didn't come on. The face tattoos were just so distractingly bad. It's so stupid. Also, he's telling this story, and he's got, like, a little flame lady dancing on his palm, and then he puts a fucking glass over it and snuffs

it out, and somehow this little cartoon flame dies. And Harley Quinn should be like, you know, as a victim of domestic violence, fuck you, and I don't want to talk to you anymore. We're not family. We're not friends. You're a piece of shit. Like, have any kind of conflict amongst this group aside from

we're bad guys. They're family now. They're family. This is the scene that we were talking about that takes place at Olive Garden. So they're contractually family with those walls. Also, you're crazy. All bad guys get along.

It's not like any of them have unique personality. That's a crazy story. El Diablo. Here comes my second round of unlimited pasta. Also, how stupid is it? Oh, it's great. I get two entrees for nine bucks. How stupid is it though

That at the beginning of the movie or in like the flashbacks Where she's just Dr. Harley Quinzel or whatever Yeah She's just talking Yeah And then when she gets gooped She's like now I'm talking like this for no reason To be fair

She goes crazy And maybe it's like when I get drunk I sound much more bronxie than I actually do That does slip out But this presumes then That Harley Quinzel was born in fucking yonkers Well, also, you're getting gooped Is being forced

To have electroshock therapy For no reason whatsoever. Well, I don't think she's like She's not a well-done potato Until they get dipped in that vat. That scene is so stupid. We could talk about it. Sure.

That's like a YouTube, like, tribute video. Like, will you be there for me in quotation marks? And you see like shots of like two Buffy characters. I was going to say, It's a fucking buffy meme. Yeah, it's just like it's them and they're just sitting around to beautiful music and like he's talking about some oath she has to take and he shoves her in as we talk about in our Batman and Robin episode. No, he doesn't shove her. She just does it, baby.

And he dives in after. In these open fucking vats. That's right. In the same fucking. What chemical is this? Yeah, what is in there? And it's burning, it's burning his shirt off of him. It's like, they have no reaction.

like what what man now that would be a scene if they were actually melting in the middle yeah like well show me skeleton joker oh man she looks like fucking spike at the end of gremlins show me the fucking like transformation though because I'm watching this

and they're in this like yellow goop and all of this color is falling off them and I'm like show me her face getting fucked up or like he's getting more fucked up or she's not even that pale. It's not like, she's not Jack Nicholson's the Joker where she's like white as a sheet.

Right. She's a little pale-ish. If you're going to just make them white then, you know, make them both white. I don't care. This scene has the one, like, there are a lot of mistakes in this movie. This is the biggest mistake in Hollywood 2016. This one, I was like, how do you even? Because they

both jump in and it's, there's underwater shots where you can sincerely clear that their entire bodies can go under this thing. It's like a horse diving at a Fair. It's a deep pool of VAT POV. Of chemicals.

So they both jump in both underwater shots where they're clearly all in this thing. And then he stands up in the VAT. Right in the middle of it. Right in the middle of it. It makes no sense. How do you fuck that up? How? You're David Eyre, man.

And you're just wondering what cool song I'm going to play in this scene. What is the cool song? What was the cool song? I don't even remember. Is it like a rap song? Was it the theme song to Buffy? It might have been. That'd be great if they went under,

and then up came Sarah Michelle and David Boreannis. What a twist that would be. Man, what a joker. Random. So, I mean, like, yeah, they go to this train station. Killer Crock takes Scott Eastwood. He turns into an underwater car. He goes underwater to plant this stupid bomb.

This is just that underwater level in the Teenage Mutant Engine. turtles of Nintendo yes which was totally hard by the way it was impossibly hard I don't think I've ever passed it there's also more suspense in that game than this and why are these putty people underwater with

them whatever what is with these goopmen man well the goopmen are made by the witch and the brother monster thing that's right out of a fucking Thor movie yeah by the way he's there now and he's walking around great well like also like again with the villains

like they're just gods they're stupid plain gods there's no weakness there's no character right why the fuck do i care what they're doing it's just a big stupid uh they like use the same graphics card as they did from man of steel yeah with that end thing where like the spirals are going inside themselves and the big she's got this crazy machine that she's putting on that makes a ring around it's like a fake it's like a vortex thing yeah and like i don't know what it does but like at a certain point because Viola Davis is there it knows all these secret government

installations and like poor David Harbour has to be like, how do they know that? Hey, am I still in this movie? Cool. They've got like a USB drive connecting Viola Davis to the fucking Malstrom like and he's downloading all her thoughts. Like it makes no fucking sense.

So Joel Kinman's like all right. By the way, they're all like oh at a certain point I think Joel Kinman either deactivates. He destroys the app that like he has and he's like But do you guys want to, A, help me save the world and B, my girlfriend's in there? And they're like, yeah, we're all fucking murders.

I killed my whole fucking family. This lady is as homicidal as it gets. I'm an assassin who hates your guts. But let's all just go in, yeah, and I'm a crocodile person. I too as a crocodile person care about this. By the way, notice how much we talked about Katana? I was just going to say Katana's like, yeah, well, I'm here already. You guys are my rye.

Catana's biggest contribution to this film is at around this point she drops her sword. I don't know. It might have even happened off screen. And Harley Quinn goes up to Enchantress with and is like, oh, yeah, sure, I'll join you. And cuts her with the sword and it does nothing. And there you go. Thanks, Katana. Yeah.

Thanks for coming. Your sword. If you had just been a sword, it would have been better. Well, no, this is when a Diablo uses a cheat code and turns into a big, flaming pile of shit Rastafarian fire god it's a skeleton with a Native American headdress on I think he was supposed to be like a

like a Mayan god or something and if you're a god yeah what the fuck is your problem Diablo if a woman asks if you're a god you say yes especially if you are one that's what this ending now is just fucking

zool and stay puff it is and they he fights he burns this guy down and the incubus yells, you know, pardon me while I burst into flames and the bomb explodes and he dies. Which also, I'm sorry. Wait a second.

We are disabling these gods and this god vortex with some good old fashioned acme dynamoves. Turns out TNT, that's all you need. What are you fucking talking about? Just fucking carpet bomb the city. End of movie. Exactly. It's all so ill-defined.

Like, yeah, exactly. Just, yeah. You don't think the U.S. government has fucking drones they can send in to fucking lay waste of these ghouls and goblins? Steve, you're the comic book guy. This is D.C. and they've decided to make it a witchcraft movie. Is there anyone in the DC universe that deals with magic? Oh, of course. Well, who do you want?

You want Dr. Fade? Do you want Dr. Accult? How about... Dr. Accult? Come on, you lazy fuckers. Or the Phantom Stranger could come up there. How about the Magic Squad? Because this needs a magic squad.

There's the Justice League dark. You can get John Constitaine. You can get Dead Man. You can get Zatana. All these people. You know what? Now we're on to something. Now we're on to a movie that's not this movie.

Focus on something. Yes. But then would you be able to call it the suicide squad as if anyone gave a shit in the first place? And then the movie's over, right? Like that's it. Well, Harley Quinn is like, oh, she thinks the Joker is dead. And she's like, going to make a deal with the devil. She's like, you can bring back my pudding?

And she's like, yes, of course. worse that can. Oh, by the way, we have fantasy sequences where Harley Quinn wants to be married and have children with the Joker. Say what? The fuck are you talking about? This witch shows them all of like what their lives could be if

they go with her. Turns out that wasn't the Joker. That was actually Paul Allen. He was totally dressed like Paul Allen. Oh, yeah, what a great business card you got. The worst shot, by the way, of the whole movie is something called Silly and Braille. David Ayer close up on her pressing normal.

Oh, yeah. I wanted to vomit everywhere. She presses normal on a dishwasher. On a microwave. She goes, you artist. What an artist, man. He's an visual artist. And by the way, that's really it.

The crazy woman that you keep on calling crazy at the end of the day. Just wants to be a housewife with a kid and wants to be dawdled on by the choker? It should be them fucking skull fucking Batman's corpse. You know what I mean? Like that's what the whole thing. That's her in a pool of blood. Exactly. That's what these people get off on. You know what? If that was the ending, I might actually say this is a good movie. Using Nightwing's fucking skull as a butt plug.

Exactly. Like that's what they're doing because they fucking hate bat. Give them some stability in the character that you're making. Not just like women like babies, I guess. I don't know. Women like babies, right? Oh, don't you want to get knocked up or something? With common in the back disemboweling Robin. Just for the capper. What is, oh, and then like, yeah.

I mean, they blow up the demon, right? She's like, oh, will you make my pudding come back? He's like, yeah, she uses a sword. She pulls out, she's like, you made one mistake, sweetheart. You messed with my friends, which is the worst line in any movie. Are you friends with anybody? Dude's like dropping a hammer on your foot. You feel that thud.

It's so uncomfortable. Theory is that I think they took a Captain Planet script. Oh. And they rewrote it as Suicide Squad. And I think they just kept that line. It's like what kept happening with all those action movies that could have been diehard movies. It turns out they were having a safe plunder industry. Oh no.

You messed up all your plastic. things that kill a delphins. Heart, Hurt, blow him up. Heart. Hey, Hart, you and your monkey blow him up. Oh, they go to Hart's fantasy.

It's just him fucking that monkey. It's a world where he can fuck that monkey. It's okay, Hart. We're going to hell tonight. And it's also stupid because, like, we see a bunch of them, like Joel Kinnemans just married to June, Moon, and whatever, or whatever.

All this stupid shit, right? And then El Diablo's got his family back, and he's like, no, wait, this isn't real. And he, like, morphs back to the train station. And he's like, hey, wake up, this isn't real. And, like, Joel Kinnam's like, oh, it's not real. And then the witch starts yelling at El Diablo, like, how long have you been able to see? And I'm like, now he's a fucking psychic. What are you doing?

Oh, actually, Deadshot wishes he killed Batman. That's his fantasy. Like, and it's not really explicit. Closer to what I would want. Dude, just make it the dead shot movie, you know? Well, you'll see that sometimes. I'm sure. She, they kill Enchantress.

Everything kind of goes back to normal. And then, like, you think the movie's going to have any balls and, Diablo dies, by the way, which is fine. You think the movie's going to have any balls in a movie called Suicide Squad that Enchandras would die. But nope, she comes back. Who turned out the lights? It is. It's a who turned out the lights. Dude, she's got like this, this, like, shell of, like, the witch's torched by.

cracks open, like the fucking Abel Ferrar Body Snatchers movie. And out comes this June moon, like, oh, I thought you killed me or something. And then he's like, I thought you killed me. Oh, then William Atherton comes there. I'm going to shut you suicide squad boys down. And then Hawkman's like, on second thought, Captain Boomerang, put that box down. I love this town.

Put that box down. I'm staying. Oh, my God. I would love it. if it was a movie about Hawkman moving from to St. Roche or whatever. It's so silly. I mean, like, and then... Captain Boomerang does nothing.

Oh, he does less than nothing. He's got a funerandum little phony that he likes. Oh, I guess he might be one of them bronies I read about on the internet. Well, they're fun. Those guys sound like a wild bunch of dudes. And then the rest of the movie's just them like getting their perks in prison,

like Killer Crock. Yeah. Well, it's actually, it's super romantic. An abuse victim gets back with her abuser. Yeah, that's cool. And a big swoon goes across the fucking audience. You mean how the Joker breaks into this prison in riot gear, which, by the way, on my second

viewing here, I noticed it says Joker on his right here. It sure does. It says right in the fucking front. Dude, who is his tape? I mean, like, you know, like the Joker always likes to make his own costumes. But like, we're branding riot gear. We're making hot topic outfits for your girlfriend. That's a problem.

I think that's my, that's the big problem is there's way too much. much effort in this joker outfit even the jack nicholson one didn't look like it had this much it was one costume he's just got a shitty purple suit this and this is just like what are you doing man just you know spray paint a smiley face on right gear exactly yep are you like doing a partnership with tommy hill figure like what the fuck how much do you know that that fell through actually oh that's too bad now we have to say uh Tommy Bahama oh the guy oh my god if he's a Tommy Bahama or the guy I was starting Fubu. Damon John?

I don't know. From Shark Tank. Oh. Oh, really? What are you watching Shark Tank for? I'm 80 years old. Oh, Jesus. No one knows this.

I'm 80 years old. Yeah, and that's like our, that's our sequel set up is like, he goes, let's go home and I'm throwing up everywhere. You mean to Valhalla, great. So, and then I think one of the first credits, we see at the very end, by the way. Right.

Is, what was his name? Stephen Munchkin? Manitian. Manitian. Which is, yeah, which is Trump's treasury secretary. Oh, right. Who, by the way, you know, obviously, executive producer of this film,

I think I've got this working theory. Okay. That Trump is assembling a suicide squad of government. Oh, okay. Because he sees, he's like, there's a lot of terrible governments in the world, right? So, you know, ISIS is, bad

we got to be worse we need to have a worse government than ISIS and that way how do you fight you fight something bad with something bad well I'll say this

president elect that Steve Bannon fell you got there he looks he's a dead ringer for killer crock I found I found Steve Bannon in a sewer

he's chewing on a goat corpse he was fucking yelling about Jews he was feeding under Trump Tower. You know, I don't think the analogy for Killer Croc works so well

because at the end of the movie, Killer Croc's one wish is to watch BET, which I don't think Steve Shannon would like. Yeah, that's true. Steve Bannon would, he's like, Steve Bannan is the type of guy that would be like, why isn't there a white entertainment television? He's had that conversation a lot.

Oh, sure. Yeah. Can I get a parental block on the channel for these people? The weird thing is like, why does Killer Croc want BET? Why isn't he like, I want, cable. There you go. I want DirecTV. How about just a bunch of corpses I can eat?

That's what I like to do. You know what? And that's another thing that's not paid off in this movie. I have to hear and actually there's a conversation at one point between him and Harley Quinn. That's an extended scene by the way. Is it like that he's a cannibal? And it's like blah, blah, blah. He's a cannibal. She's like, why do you eat

people? And like, that has to happen. Like the end of the movie, like he chomps into one of these fucking little blob monsters he does bite a bunch of them that doesn't matter the thing is like does he the thing is these things have like no consistency that you can't tell anything as fucking hell that's a PG-13

thing by the way these blob people it's a big PG-th they're not people they explode and black ink whatever double down on that cannibal thing by the way because his little intro graphic cannibalistic tendency yeah it's right there what does he eat other killer crocks

apparently I am the last one well that was apparently a bunch of stuff that is like complete i don't even know if they shot it but was a lot of killer crock as a kid what no coming to grips with like i'm beautiful and because there's all the shit in the movie about how like everyone keeps calling him ugly and he's got like a positive image of himself which is nice sure that's great who could care uh but but there was a thing where it's like him getting picked on as a kid like no i'm beautiful or whatever yeah They cut out the scene with Christina Aguilera's beautiful.

Now I'm just picturing a killer crock movie that's structured like moonlight. Oh my God. Like Killer Croc in grade school, high school, and then him as an adult. Do you sell my mom drugs? You were the only one Batman in all those years. You were the only one that touched me. Oh, God. And that's, I mean, it's the end of the movie.

What is the special credit that David Ayer played someone named Slappy? Smitty. Oh, Smitty? When they're jumping the goat corpse into Killer Crocs tank. The goat, he's the goat corpse? He is, actually. He did double work. But he's the other, he's talking to Ike Berenholtz.

I'll if I can see it. Everyone's talking. Ike Berenholtz just takes a left out of movie town, man. He really does. They ride him out on a rail. That's it. I can't believe I've seen this movie twice. now one of which was in theaters and one of which was extended you know what honestly the first time

I saw this movie I was like I don't like it but there's more of a movie here than Batman or so I thought yeah I rewatch this and I'm just like it's boring as shit it's sorry but it is downright and it is like paint like some we have we didn't talk that much about the dialogue yeah the dialogue is haltingly bad like there's some fucking scene where uh like fucking slip knot gets off off of plane and they're like, that's the man who can climb anything. Yeah. I'm like, what? Why do I care? It's that French

guy from man on wire. Philippe Petit. That's cool. He also punches a woman in the face. The second woman to punch in the face. Oh, and they all just start cracking up. It's a knee slapper. That's righteous. Hey, that's grim dark. Also, Batman punches Harley Quinn

underwater in the face. How does that work. I don't know. It's fun, though. Underwater punch? Underwater punch, you knock somebody out with a punch? He's bad. Yeah, I guess he's Batman, but physics. So I would not recommend this movie. No. No. No. But, so, but I think Eric kind of raised the question, though,

what would you, what, what is the better movie here? Is it BVS? I think it is. I think it is. I think it is, too. I think Batman versus you meant it fails much bigger. Yeah. It swings. There's more at stake. Yeah. Yeah. And I mean like, honestly, like, I would much rather There are stakes. That's the thing. I wanted this to be a better movie, but

it's not. I kind of, look, if this was down and dirty and, like, crazy and fun, I'd be into it, but I'd rather watch a bad Batman and Superman movie any day over a bad movie with fucking killer crock and Slipk and Slipk and all these other characters. That really came to light with the extended, I will say,

is that I was firmly on that that this was better than BVS. Yeah. And I was turned around completely watching this again. Yeah. And like, you got to go back the other way. The road's closed. And the BVS cut is also a pain in the ass to watch.

Oh, I haven't seen the last one. Yeah. I fell asleep. We promised it and we'll never do it. Sorry, everybody. Sorry. We failed. Yeah, it's weird, though, like, because I put out my worst of list and I had BVS as being worse, just because I think there was more at stake for that movie. There was more riding on that movie. I will say... It could have been, and that movie

could have been a lot better than it was. Well, I will say, I think there's nobody is good in BVS. Margo Roby is good in this. I think Affleck and Irons are good in BVS though. That is fair as well. I think Irons is good.

I'm not on the Affleck Batman. See, I am and I think that's where like, if anything, that's what's tipping the scale is like BVS has more of Ben Affleck being Batman than this movie does, which this movie, it should be zero. Yes. But they chose to do it. And it's like a point that interests me, I guess. I don't know.

It's tough. It's really, I mean, they're both really bad in this. universe is dreadful. You've made yourself a dreadful fucking cinematic universe. Congratulations. It's just awkward because you watch this JLA trailer and we're just yucking with Bruce Wayne in the flash through the whole fucking thing. Oh, is there a trailer here? I don't know if it's a trailer if it was like a Comic-Con footage. All right guys. Wait, they're making a Justice League movie. Have you heard about this?

Have you heard about this? What? You heard about this? That's the Suicide Squad. Seca, Sikas, Suwitz, God, Squad. Directed by David Ayer. David A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-R. If you want more, we hate movies, check out W-H-M-Podcast. Dot com. Like us on Facebook and follow us on Twitter. We're at W-H-M podcast.

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Is that what Steve's looking up right now? That's exactly what he's doing. He's trying to look it up. Oh shit, Tehran's Book of Secrets has what the next episode is. It is going to be the gods of Egypt. Oh, gods of Egypt. The god's of Egypt. That's a movie with a bunch of white people playing Middle Eastern people.

Yeah, it's a lot of fun. Hey, that's terrific. It says, oh, it's Gerard Butler, right? Gerard Butler, I'm an Egyptian god. And you know what? Okay. I noticed this. I was checking like other people's best

of list to see if I was like missing anything while making money. God's Egypt all over them. Dude. What? It's, it was some UK thing. I think it was the Guardian. The Guardian's like joint staff of like our best films of the year. Gods of Egypt was on there. Wow. It's nonsense. Yeah.

It might not have been the Guardian. It was something. I was like, this is shocking. It's about time the citizens of the UK played Gods of Egypt. I was going to say, unless it's a bathroom wall, that doesn't make much sense. What? The list. If the list. If the The list wasn't just on a bathroom wall. Oh, the list itself was not on the internet, but was indeed on a pub's bathroom wall.

I see what you're saying. I could take a piss to that. So next week, we're discussing, I don't really even know what the movie's about. It's about God's Egypt. It's about Clash of the Titans movie. Is Moses in that, dude? He's not. No cameo?

No cameo. I don't believe so. What about the Bible cinematic universe we're going to set up? Well, there is a hilarious graphics. of everybody looks taller, all the gods are taller, it's really stupid. Oh, I can't wait now. That's really dumb. So until next week, with height differences

for no reason, I'm Andrew Jupin. Stephen Sater. Chris Cabin. Eric Cisker. Take it easy.