S7 Ep284: Episode 284 - Suicide Squad
00:00The Worst of 2016 rolls on with, well, one of the worst of the worst,the worst of the worst.It's David Ayers Suicide Squad.I'm Andrew Jupin.Steven Sadat.Chris Kevin.Eric Siska.And we hate movies.
00:30Hello, everyone, welcome to we hate movies.Thank you for tuning in, as always.That's right.We're talking about Suicide Squad.You know, I think this is one of the most asked-after movies for us to do, I guess, outside of it, before we did BVS.Well, because it's universally hate it.Is that right?I don't believe the people who, like, say they love this movie, I don't believe them.
01:03Some people say they do.I know.And I don't believe them at all.But what do you think the motivation is for that?For that, it's just because, like, oh, my God, Harley, and Harley Quinn's out of screen.So you think that's what a lot of basement dwellers are jerking off to this?No, I mean, she's a very popular character.Yeah, a lot of basement dwellers are jerking off.
01:20Thank you, Steve.A lot of above ground dwellers are also jerking off.Not jerking off or not jerking off.A lot of women find her a lot of fun.She's a very popular character in the D.C.Kevin Smith named his kid after.For the last 20-some-odd years.He did.
01:35You could edge throughout this entire movie if you wanted.If you totally wanted to.That's a long edging, though.I should say, yes, speaking of which,we are talking about the extended cut.So that's two hours and 15 minutes of keeping it together.Not much more Joker, by the way, which is kind of hilarious.That's like kind of what, like, you heard like the rumors like clucking around on the internet.
01:57like, ooh, extended cut.That's got to mean more Joker.Here's the thing.That's a point to it.If you can take out more of Jared Leto in this movie,I might be kinder to it.Here's my question that I had,and it's like in the middle of my notes,
02:12but I'll just like say it right herebecause we're talking about him.And again, this is going to be like,we're just kind of talking about this moviebecause there ain't much plot to be found.Watch Ghostbusters,and you'll know what the fucking plot of this movie is.But basically, I was thinking,
02:26watching it this time,a second time in my life, kill me.Yeah.What are the odds that this,this Joker,we don't like it.Like, how much do you think we don't like itbecause of the way it looks?
02:41Because it is really, really stupid.I think that is like the majority of it.I think is, I know everyone hates Jared Leto, okay?But it's kind of like,it's kind of cool to hate Jared Letto,which is, right?And I don't really like that.Right. And I love that.
02:59I've been on the hating general.Totally into it.Tip for a long time.But I honestly don't think you need a really good actor or performer to play the Joker.Look at Caesar Romero.That guy can barely fucking get a word out.Well, let me put the other side of this.That's an insult to Caesar Romero, but I'll let that stand.
03:15I mean, that's true.And Steve has a point there.Shave that mustache.You're playing a clown.Look, you know what, man?He was a proud Latino gentleman.And he's like, look, I'll be your clown, but I'm still going to the fucking Cabana Club on Saturday.And you'll be damned if I don't have a mustache.
03:29And you just tell me all the perverts who like being clowns don't have mustaches.It's a realistic thing.A lot of bearded clowns.I've seen a Rob Zombie movie.I stepped on your point, Chris.I will say I'm exactly the opposite.I don't think the look is even a quarter of the problem.Is that right?
03:46I think most of the problem is him, like the big like, honey, we're going to do it now.And I'm like, dude.So if Daniel Day Lewis was in this real.and was dressed and had all the same tattoos.It would be so much better.Daniel Day Lewis,you better believewould be a mustache painted Joker,
04:05by the way.I'm into it.Is he got the big gangs of New York mustache with white?It's a built-a-puncher mustache guaranteed.I like that.And the big mallet makes more sense there.Yeah.Just with all of it.
04:20But doesn't you have the mallet?Literally all of it.No, Harley Quinn has the mouth.Oh, right, right, right.At this point, the Joker's just a copy of a copy of a copy.that it's just like I kind of don't carebut I think he's doing a little bit of Heath LedgerI hate to break it's a little flat
04:33Minnesota kind ofhate hereyeah that's rightand the funny they're talking like thisI hate to break it to Jared Letobecause at least according to the Tribune anywayit says that he claimed that he refusedto rewatch Dark Night but it's like
04:46dude once you've seen that performanceit's in there it's in youexactly you can't just not like that's why I feel likethe Joker in live actionform from Ledger on outis impossible to not be ledgerified at some level.Somebody can go a different.I do think somebody can go a different way with it with the provost.
05:04My problem with Jared Leto is that he's too controlled to me.He feels too controlled.Like the character should be out there.Jared Leto as a person is so self-aware.Yeah.Yeah.And that he's not getting lost in that role.Well, no, didn't he edge for 70 days?
05:21Was that how that work?What was he doing?He's sending people like condoms and like,oh, fucking.It's Sally May reports or whatever.What is this? The jerky boys?Can you imagine sending a condomto Viola Davis and thinking
05:34that's a good thing to do for your character?Wait, wait a second. Yes, I can.Okay, good. Good, Eric.A condom for Viola.She's in a whole other movie here.Yeah. Because what I started doing this timewas just putting like pluses and not needids in my notes.A plus in this movie is Viola Davis, I think.
05:54I think a plus is, I think Margarabi is really.good in this. I think that she'sdressed very sillily.I think there's a better costume to besillily? Sillily. In a sillyway. Why don't you just say she'sdressed very silly? Yeah, I justfucking up. Because I'm like making up words and
06:10that's what I'm going to do here. Yeah, yeah.I'm just the daddy's littleall the Joker branded wearwe could fucking keep.The lucky you above the shortsI wanted to kill someone. Who ismaking these outfits? Perverts.Yeah. Downright perverts.
06:26You go to any store in this country, in the United States,you will see pervert made clothing.Oh, yeah, you get like a pair of sweatpants on a little kid.It's just juicy.Yeah.That's just Joker brand clothes right there.Right, Chris?Yes.
06:43Yes.Yeah, Robbie's good.And honestly, another thing, and I don't know, this might split the room a little bit.You know who I think's good in this movie is Will Smith.Yeah, he's good.That's dead shot.I think the character's written badly, but he's doing his best with it.I mean, the whole fucking thing's, like, it's a pile of fucking shit.
06:59Throughout this movie, when we got into the, you know, you get the Will Smith backstory and stuff of Deadshot, I'm just like, okay, just make it about him.Just structure it around someone.And then I'm like, oh, wait, wait, is this going to be a witch movie?Okay, focus on that.Pick one thing.Yeah, you can't have like a dirty dozen type movie.And then there's also witches involved.You know, in the dirty dozen, you don't get like fucking 40.
07:26minutes on the back story about maggot.Exactly.These cut into the backstories things.Like, I don't need it. You do it up front enough with like their fucking fivebeginnings of this movie. Oh, sure. Yeah. I should say thisthough. If anyone is not aware of what this is, let's turn really quickly to comicbook experts to you say to briefly explain what the suicide squad is. In the 80s, a guynamed John Ostrander and somebody else who I'm forgetting who I'm sure somebody
07:56screaming about right now, created a...Oh, my Lord.Steve Sadek is not so much a comic book expert.He's a comic book expat.Yes, exactly.I've been exiled.No, it's...So it's...
08:13It is the dirty dozen.It's a comic book outfit wherein...It's a rotating cast of character,so it would always be a different group every time.Oh, is that right?Yeah, there'd be an arc of these characters.Somebody would die.maybe somebody wouldn't, then some people would cycle out, cycle in,
08:29the penguin was there for a bit, you know, that's what you want.But like, Dead Shot was always there.It's just a group of supervillains that are either given clemency or time off their sentenceto do some dirty shit for the government by Amanda Waller.And that's it.And that's, and that's witches, I don't believe, come off and around.Oh, that's good.No witches.
08:50I mean, Enchantress was there, but it wasn't about like.See, this is a fun idea for a comic book.It's a great idea for a comic book.don't know if it would translate to a movie ever.There's too much shit that you have to jam in.And already, like, we should saywe're talking about the extended cut. The originaltheatrical was only like two hours.
09:06Yeah. This is 215.And it's just more bloating of these people.Yeah.I think it could work.If you look at the dirty dozenformula, you don't getreally much of backstory ofany of the characters. They just talk about random
09:20stuff. Right. Right. Which wouldwork in this situation. But because I needto know fucking everyabout Joker and Harley Quinn and fucking L. Diablo and fucking dead shot.Like, I mean, Captain Boomerang, don't. Please, God, don't forget about Captain Boomerang. Just for aflash cameo. If you want to make it like the dirty dozen, just focus on Rick Flagg.That is your, he's the drill sergeant. Yes, you unite these things. Things. No, no, they'rethings. The killer crock is there. It's things is appropriate. He's the Lee Marvin. Like, he is.
09:53Exactly. He's the killer crock. He's in two. No, no. No.He's a John Cassavetes, I believe.Oh, poor Cassavetes.But, yeah, I think that, like, you just have to streamline it.You have no backstory of anything.Understand that people are going to come to this movie.Like, I just want to watch superheroes fight each other.And, like, Deadshot, oh, he's got a gun.
10:13Oh, Harley Quinn, she's crazy.Got it.You know what I mean?I'm like, got it, got it, got it.Wait, Steve, she's crazy?They only say it 59 times.And it's a lot of, like, you fucking.stupid crazy bitch
10:27oh everybody get a look at thiscrazy bitch over herewe're dropping the B oh what a bitchthis militarizedArkham too they can keepoh the fucking swamp prisonwell it's a Belrieve which is a differentprison it's canon
10:43yeah in the uh in the reallyyeah I thought it was Arkham noshe's in Arkham in her flashback scenesbut then we're in Belreve all rightbecause she was working at her she's yeah she's a doctorat ArkhamSomeone put out a map and a legend for this fucking movie.Dude, it's seriously like fucking Game of Thrones, man.
11:03I mean, just keep it simple.Even keeping it simple.So the movie starts with two scenes, and this is not the extended cut.This is all cuts.It starts with a dead shot scene of him in prison talking to Ike Barron Holtz,who gets a lot of play in this movie.And then a Margo Roby scene where she's talking to Ike Barron Holtz.Then we start.
11:22And then we have Amanda Waller talking to.the great...David Harbor and other peopleabout, like, going through all the bios.So what was the point of those first two scenes?No.And then from that,they go into another boardroom meeting.
11:38Like, they're having a steakhouse dinnerand she goes like...It looks great.It does.Everything about this, it's like,it's a shady D.C. dinnerripped right out of house of cards.Favorite part of the movie, that looked delicious.
11:51Yeah, she's had...Amanda Waller's having a great meal.If this had just been...my dinner with Andrebut with Amanda Wallerand David HarborI could get into thisbecause Dave Harbor
12:02Just them talking aboutthe Joker and shitand that's itand likeand negotiatingabout how you wouldput this squad togetherI remember when the Joker
12:10was doing Uncle Vanyaon 42nd StreetBut like the two of themare great actorshim and Violaand then there's some otherfat white guy therea non-clancy Brown
12:23rightbut that's it'sfascinating. Just like hearing conversation betweengovernment officials talking withlike superhero government officials. Like it's good shit.And then we go to the same exactboardroom that's in the rock. You know what I mean?And we're doing that. And then we
12:40go through the idea of a suicide squad yet again.Well, we go for the enchantress in theboardroom is like the last one.Well, this is, it's the demo.Yeah. It's like, hey, want these specialthings from Tehran.Oh, yeah, and he's like, I've been going after that book for years.And this here witch got it for me in half a second.
13:03I believe Tehran has a bunch of books of secrets.Yeah, it's just a big old book of secrets that they write everything down in.All right, put an extra big lock on that one.Hey, where'd you?Hey, anyone see my secret book?Anyway, talk about the Echantress for a second.I don't understand part of this character because it's Dr. June.No, no, it's just June moon.
13:28It's not Mooney cabin.Oh, I thought it was June Mooney.No, June Moon.That's even worse.June Moonie was on the honeymooners.So she's an archaeologist.And what I don't understand about this is she gets down to that caves,belongs down there, finds this ancient artifact, and immediately breaks it.
13:48Like, aren't you supposed to, you're supposed to preserve?Isn't you like your number one job to be careful with this shit?It belongs in a museum.Oh, no.Oh, now.Marcus Brody's a witch now.Oh, my God.Del Home Elliott as the enchantress.
14:04Sign me up.Sure.The thing that I don't know.I don't know if I was just like tired watching this a second time or what, but like I couldn't remember one in the theatrical cut when they come up with like, you know, dead shots.Oh, my God.Were the stats in the theatrical?Yes, they were.There's the thing.
14:24There's so much stupid shit that they plug into these.You can't read it.Nonsense.Not one of them you can read.I did read that Rick Flagg is a three handicapped and golf.I did.There's, um, I got a couple of them actually.Oh, good.
14:39Oh, here we go.Fucking Harley Quinn.I wanted to kill myself.It just flashes total wild card.Yeah.Oh, totally wild.And like then for enchantress, it says that her brother, who we willget to Incubus
14:55not Brandon Boyd sadlysadly they couldn't get them is that a familyname yeah I believe you know what theycould have got Brandon Boyd they didn'twant to get Brandon Boyd they didn'twant to get Brandon Boyd I think Incubes is theonly band in the universe it's not on the soundtrackThat's true
15:08They say he's keptin a jar which is incorrectNo yeah he's just out of the statueHe's in a statue and they just say nope he's in a jarnow well that's one of the variousreshoots probably theythey fuck that one upAnyone notice Rick Flagg's hair in this movie flips and flops a little bit?
15:26Does it really?Oh, yeah, man.Like in the first couple of scenes, he's got like kind of a long swoosh back thing.Sure.And then in the middle of the movie, right after his girlfriend goes AWOL, he gets a haircut.I guess he gets a real like a buzz cut.Oh, it's a grief haircut.Yeah.
15:41And then at the end of the movie, it comes back, which is nice.And Rick Flagg is played by Joel Kinnaman from Robocop and The Killing, who I think is a good actor.You know, it's weird.I'm noticing this is like,As much as the golden age of TVhas given us so many great performances,these guys don't go on to do much.Am I wrong?
15:59I mean, like,it's a mixed bag,look at Cranston.Look at fucking Cranston.Man, these movie rolesthat Cranston's in these days.Here's the thing is,TVs were to be.
16:08Go back to TV.Exactly.Cranston should go back.Yeah, exactly.Like Aaron Paul is doing the packthe path right now.The path.It's awesome.
16:16It's awesome.It's coming back soon.Steve,do you know that?Oh, I did know that?Yeah.Steve and I are the only ones atI don't watch it. Oh, you watch it too? Oh, it's
16:23Kevin, do you know what's coming back? I did.I had to write it up. I have notfound the path yet. Oh, you'll find it.It's a Hulu show. You should lead me down.It's Hulu. Yeah, Eric'sstraight up level one or a rung one is what he is.Oh, shit, is this like Path Talk? I don't know.Yeah, it's a bit of Path Talk.
16:41Welcome back to PathChat.Oh, no, Pathfinder. That's the name of the podcast. Oh, thereit is. You know Michelle Monahan's really underrated.She is. He's great. No, no, I'm sorry. But you're in a minute.But, like, dude, Brian Christen can, he's going to be in the new Wes Anderson movie.Like, that's a big get.Like, and I know I'm, I think the only person in the room here who really likes Godzilla, but like.The thing about, he's, someone's going to be in the new Wes Anderson movie.
17:07Yeah, with 70 other people.That's 70 other people.But this is, this is, uh, I don't know, because it's a, it's an animated movie.So it's not like you're getting to see the Cran man up on screen.he's a fucking stop motion dogthat's what I call my poker nightdoes he bring the beer or do youoh he always brings the beer man he's very generous
17:30I mean in Cranston the Cranman's greatyou know what I meanCranmanThe Ham man is not getting work these daysWait is that John Ham?He farts onto that Kimmy Schmidt showevery now and againThey're all great it's just sort of this thing
17:46It's like oh man TV it's not really a launching padFor anyone's careerNo one does do with these people.Well, you know what?It's a changing media landscape.I read that.Gizmondo had that one.I say go back to TV, everyone.
18:02Yeah, to everybody.So, I mean,Will Smith, go back to TV.Come on, Roseanne.Come home.Just what I need.More TV shows.Yes.
18:12No, I don't.There's too many TV shows.So, I mean, like,so we're just going through likeDead Shots thing.This is we get our.are funDeadshot's character
18:22by the wayin the comicsis somebodythat wants to diein a spectacularfashionthat's why he joinsthe suicides
18:29that's not mentionedonce in the moviethat's like his thingis like he wants to be killedlike he wants to dielike a warrior's deathkind of a thingthat's so much more interesting
18:37than anythingthan my baby daughterthan oh my godmy baby daughterI have to make surethat everything's okaywith my baby daughterand she's so smart
18:44don't you have so muchhope for hershe's so smartno I don't you have to help herwith their homework at the end.By the way, now, Steve,we're running down the cast of characters.Sure. Can you give me the backstory on
18:58one Captain Boomerang?He's a flash villain.He's just in the Aussie with a bunch of differentkinds of fun Boomerang. Oh, that's interesting.Yeah. He's got a sillier costumein the comics. He does. Listen, thisis how you trim this fucking fat man.Captain Boomerang, you're out of there.
19:15Adam Beach. I don't need to pick up the phone tocall you. Slip knot? I think.Oh, oh, man, how long have you been holding that in your back pocket?Just like a second.Come on, I'm a quick guy.I'm like the flash of this podcast.I like that slip knots in this movie gets his fucking head blown off immediately.I like a one-note joke, you know what I mean?
19:35And you want to get Adam Beach to trick people?First of all, no one's like, oh, they can't kill Adam Beach.See, that's the thing.Like, of course you can.Yeah.Do that, like, get someone big.One, no boomeret or no, no slip-knott.sure captain boomerang he's the guy get some get john ham get john ham to play the guy right yeah yeah that's cool and then he gets his head blown off and you're like wow i didn't think they could kill john ham but here we are you know most certainly can kill jac courtney yeah oh yeah that's true he is annoying in this movie this character is so stupid did you but didn't you like the pink unicorn man wasn't that random uh oh r capital r random that guy's got a
20:20big unicorn. I just, I don't even knowwhat that's in reference to, but it's hilarious.And he's throwing all these things. I mean, it'sjust too much. And you knowwhat's funny? Random.I think I saw, when the firsttime I saw this movie, Iswear I must have seen it.
20:36I think what happened was I got off theone train and I was going to the theater at84th in Broadway to see this movie. And whenI walked through the door, I steppedinto a slider'suniverse tunneland went to a different universe to watchthis movie for the first time because I had
20:52the strongest of memoriesif you were like Andrew who dies inSuicide Squad I would have been likeAdam Beach and most definitelyCaptain BoomerangI had it in this movie thatCaptain Boomerang bit it somehowDid Sinbad play Shazam in that movie?
21:08Man that's a crazy fucking thingthat's been going aroundIt's stupid people just don't know what movies areI'm sorry it's also a thing where it's likeHere's the easiest people are bothmarginally racist and don't know what movies areThat's the thing.That's the bigger thing that none of these articles are talking about is because it's like, no, that wasn't Sinbad.
21:25It was just Shaquille O'Neal the first time.Yeah, and there were both comedic actors in the 90s.They were both kind of funny in the 90s.They were.Shekeel O'Neill's funny now.Yeah.Sure.Sinbad.
21:38I don't know what he's up there.It's also okay just to say I have a shitty memory.Yeah.You don't have to go to the internet and make a case in front of the internet about this.I was at a dinner with one lady one time years ago.an older woman who was a work event and she was like oh you know like we're about to see this great movie it's going to be great it's called he's not that into you or or she's not that into you that's what she thought she was going to go see and the movie was right he's just not he's just not that into you right that doesn't mean she went to a fucking parallel universe it just means that this particular lady didn't pay quite as much attention to the trailer as what she could have do you still have her number I do yeah let's ask herWhich is it?The Berenstein Bears.
22:24And that whole Mandelaeffect thing is how these people arejustifying the Sinbad thing.And it's like, no, you're just mixing up black guys.Yeah, exactly.That's all it is.That's all it is.I don't need your fucking think piece.
22:35That's all it is.You're just mixing up black guysand you don't want to admit it.And you should be embarrassed.Yeah, you should be embarrassed.Shut the fuck up and get out of here.Dead shots got a beautiful baby.Played by Forrest Whitaker.
22:47I swear to God.Yes, of course, yes.Oh, no, he's dead shoot.Oh, he's a dead shoot in that movie?Played by Forrest Wittaker.You know, all these people could swear dead shoot was in this movie.I-09.com.What an alternate universe.
23:03These racists live in.That's what it is?It just must be an alternate universe.Yeah, exactly.But Dead Shute's got a daughter.And he's dressed like it's the 1970s.It's a pretty hip-looking outfit.It's a great outfit.
23:17I like it.You know, it looks like Cam Newton.You know, it's, yeah, he does.You know, it's the weirdest, a credit in this movie?Hair stylist for Will Smith.That's the easiest.I'm not kidding you.He's bald in this fucking movie.
23:30Is that just beard care?I guess it must be.That's what it's gotta be.There's nothing else.Or pubes maybe.Oh, yeah, you're going to trim them pubes.I mean, he probably went method with it.A couple pubes got in the shot.
23:43Yeah.The Jared Leto sent him a box of pubes.Oh.Injic.Random.Totally randomThat's so weirdI'm gonna be such a random
23:54JokerSo Batman shows up in this sceneRandom rightOh my godOh wait alrightThis is a DC movie funIt's the biggest likeWe're gonna put this in the trailer
24:07So it's like please see this movieYou know Batman's in itIt's gonna be thereYou can sniff this outA mile away the desperationYeah, he's in there.He's, I mean, like, he's like, Deadshot, it's over, I guess.I mean, like, although Deadshot is traditionally a Batman villain or he started as a Batman villain.
24:29It's a real low stakes thing, though.He's like, hey, Deadshot, you're an assassin, I guess.Not much of a bigger plot than that, but you're coming with me.It's like a Wednesday night for Batman.By the way, there is your exposition.I don't need the fucking dossier of how cool he is or whatever.No, you definitely do.If Batman's after him, all right, I got it.
24:52He's a villain.It turns out he's a villain.And like, it's such a stupid, like, Batman needs to fight, dead shot.It shouldn't be a fucking back and forth parent teacher conference about how you have to give up your shit and then maybe your daughter's going to be okay.And then the daughter gets, you know, first of all, like, he's cried about his daughter this whole time.She gets in the way of his gun to fucking save Batman.man's life? I'm like, I don't know. Save this white guy on the street. Steve.Steve. Yeah. You're telling me you wouldn't give up your father or mother for Batman.
25:30Well, you've got to contextualize this in a way that you live in a world where Batman is.Sure. It's sort of like, Steve, if Phoenix Jones, the quote unquote real life superhero in Seattle tried to kill your father, would you defend Phoenix Jones?I wouldn't.Phoenix Jones is not as beloved as Batman.Nor is he that revered.I will say, though, Batman,you need to just, like, be up on a rooftop.Yeah.
25:58Do a little bat something and pull him up and deal with it.You can't have shenanigans in a closed quarters alley.You know what's going on there, Bruce Wayne.Or look at, you know, you're the world's greatest detective.Look at the custody agreement and see which days his daughter isn't going to be there and then attack him then.Or you know what?Batman had that giant.sniper rifle and Batman versus Superman.
26:20Deadshot is a worldfamous marksman. Invite himto the archery contest.Right? The Gotham Cityarchery contest. Are youplaying Batman as Robin Hood right now?Wait, are they different?One doesn't have a green cap.
26:37One was definitely played by Sinbadin the 90s. No, that wasOliver Queen. Right?Yes, that's true. Wait, what's that? Green Arrow?The Green Arrow. That's just Robin Hood, right?Yeah, that's Robin. Yeah, that's Robin.Can we also, Deadshot, they open, like, the first of the sevenoutroes of this reverse return of the king.
27:00It opens with, like, that movie did a reverse Peter Jackson.It's pretty cool.That's brilliant.Actually, a reverse return of the king sounds like a sex move.I had last night go.It was great.I pulled the reverse return of the king on her.Holy shit.
27:14Making a case in front of the internet.reverse make ityeah yeah by the way I need the map onthat tooa Tolkienesque mapwhat are you saying cabit opens withand we could talk about this
27:26because it's fuckingthe biggest thingit opens withthe house of the rising sunwell because we're in New Orleansso we gotta be as little as possibleyou have to fuckingmusic in this movie
27:37this soundtrackit's obnoxiousthey're all mostly goodclassic rock songsbut I just wish I was in a barlistening to them and not watching listen i just wish i was watching uh i just wish i was watching uh i just wishi was watching guardians of the galaxy yes because they did it already suicide squad also i wrotedown some of these songs because they had the the thing is a nice little pop song could guss you up
28:02your movie absolutely sure and that's a nice thing but it's egregious how much it's used becauseit's establishing the prison we got house of the rising sun then they're they're like getting out intothe yard so that Rick Flagg canassess them and we havethe White Stripe Seven Nation Armyand then immediately when they're gearingup in their super villainregalia we have some fucking M&M
28:25song. Without me. And this is likewe're talking 40 secondsat least on all these songs. And thenwhen they get into the helicopter right afterthat we have Spirit in the sky.And we also have theHarley Quinn song. You don't own me.It's just like. It's too much.
28:40And we get to the we get to thethe Amanda Wallerdinner there.They're playingBoss lady eating a steak.Boss ladyby the John Goodman band.Big time, man.
28:54Boss lady,gonna chow right down.Oh yeah, totally.That happens when you order a steakat the House of Blues.And John Goodman has to come outevery time.Just fucking haggard
29:07by the end of the night.Oh, you're one personordering a steak for three, huh?You got a song.Boss lady eating the steak.Boss lady don't need no A1.That actually originated on the set of Roseanne.Little girl getting as a human shield for Batman.
29:33What's amazing, by the way, Deadshot.You're officially congratulations.The only villain that Batman's put away that doesn't break out immediately.Yeah.How are you the one guy that didn't do that?And he doesn't brand him in his weird arcane, remember?I was expecting the brand.I think that's only for the pedophiles.
29:52Oh, wait.Wait, wait, everyone in Batman versus Superman was a pedophile?No, he's just, he brands that kid toucher.But there's other guys?They imply that he's branding everybody.I thought they just implied he brands kid touchers.Okay.He's just branding people he wants to die.
30:07Like, so it can be, of course, the kid touchers are going to be tails.I don't have to save you, but I could brand you.kid touch her. And then I know a bunch of really fucking angry menin prison and they're going to take you right out. By the way, I have a solemnvow for human life, but I'm just going to branch you anyways. Hey, thatbrings to mind, how did 2016 come and go and Jared Fogelstill walk on the earth? Ah, you know.He's in, uh, what's the prison called? He's in Belrieve. Yeah, he's in
30:34Belrieve. He's down in Norland. He's going to, they're going to, they'replaying fucking like Eminem and he's going to be suiting up getting a sandwich out of theThat's the worst of the worstWe've got to get Jared FogelIt goes from Deadshot with House of the Rising SunTo Harley Quinn withYou Don't Own MeAnd then goes to Jerry Fogel with puppy love
30:57Yeah and then Bernie MadoffMoney they play the oldMoney Money Money Money MoneyCharles MansonThey just play some of his original musicThey're all going upYou know they assemble them all to take downEdward Snowden
31:12TotallyYou replaceDeadshot withthe D.C. sniperShot through the heart!Scott Peterson's still aliveprobably?I think so, yeah.
31:23You got some like boat songs.Some yacht rockorit's the lovethough.Yeah.Or vampireweekend starts playing.
31:33Yeah.The devil insidebut in an excess.Yes.We have to getScott Peterson.Holidayon a holiday
31:42Oh,Susan.But also, like, dude,you want to shave a little biteverybody was talking abouthow expensivethis fucking movie waswant to shave
31:52five to ten millionoff of it?Yep.Why not fucking letsome of these licenses go?Totally.Because it's every otherfucking scene.
32:00And then you haveyour original soundtrackmusic, which is much worse.Oh, yeah.So much worse.And I have to sufferthrough that shit.It's all working on
32:10presumption that people are going to buy this soundtrack,which, like, I feel likewhen you have nothing but likeclassic rock jams, who gives a shit?Go on fucking Pandora, you know, and play any of thesesongs, you'll hear them all in a row.Totally, I don't need them compiled into one CDwith a spray-painted case.
32:28Pandora, are you talking about enchantress?Yes, I'm opening Pandora's bongs.Oh, random.Well, no, that's not random.That's what everyone was playing.That's what everyone wanted.StrategicSo we've also got
32:44Jay HernandezWho I didn't realizeWas Jay HernandezI didn't knowHe's lost a lot of weightHe looks pretty good in this movieHe doesMine is the face tattoos
32:50He plays L DiabloWhich isYou knowAnd he's just the mostBoring characterWith the whole fucking lotOf him in meYeah
32:56He's just complainingDude we don't get hisbackstory until likeWhat likeAlmost two hours into this movieAnd this is howRevolutionary of filmmakerDavid Ayer is dude
33:07BecauseYou want to save yourselfof one of them juicy little flashbacks.Of course, for the third act of the film.Fucking toss it in there.Because I was just waiting for it.Yeah, dude.For this guy who said five things.
33:21Speaking of the first 90 minutes.Of useless characters.And I didn't, you know, approximately, I didn't really, you know, strategically counted.But it's about 40 minutes into the movie when we're introduced to Katana.Yeah.Who is the most useless character ever created.For what?Is this a real character?
33:41Yeah, she's great.She's got a sword.It's like,you mean,we're going through this alland I have got a fucking dealwith all this crap.And then I get Rick Flagg being like,
33:52oh yeah,and her soul steals,her sword steals souls.Which I don't see fucking once in this one.No,of course not.Because how could you?Because they go up against
34:03fucking bubble gum men.Yeah,they go against a fucking putty patrolfrom Mighty Morphan Power Rangers.It's just like,Who could care?Who could care?Speaking of bad Brian Cranston moves, by the way.
34:14Get ready for it.I've already dealt with Killer Crock eating a lot, like not alive, a dead fucking goat in his little cave.Like, it's too much.And by the way, the bubblegum men or the bubblegum men.That's from the comics, right?That's what they're called the bubblegum men?Like, okay, here's my biggest issue with this whole fucking movie.Okay.
34:35How can't soldiers just shoot these things in the fucking head?I mean, I totally agree.Why do we need the suicide squad?I mean, we don't.I can understand maybe Deadshot.He's the best marksman in the world, sure.Killer Croc, not really.Like, just get, especially Harley Quinn, who's a maniac, and she's not particularly good.
34:55She's good at fighting, but she's not particularly good at anything.Get five soldiers is worth one, Harley Quinn.You know what I mean?Yeah.That's it.Fucking clone Scott Eastwood three times.We're ready to go.Oh, God, let's not.
35:07Look at that fucking mannequin in this.movie. He looks like his dad'sMadam Tussow's statue. He does.Honestly,he's got like, for some reasonI can't focus on him.Yeah. He has no presence.He does no presence in anything he does.
35:23It's, it's eerie. It's honestlyErie. His fatherhad presence on the screen.And this guy, it's just likeyou're saying, it's a statue.Is it looking at a car in a movie?Exactly. Exactly. Oh, wow.A VW golf. All right. Oh, wait. That was
35:38Scott Eastwood.Oh, that's a nice...That's a nice car.Anton Sugar is going up.Oh, he's riding Scott Icewood.Up to the pharmacy, really?Bring Scott Eastwood around to take the kids.Oh, wow.
35:53I didn't realize Scott Eastwood was a stick shift.Oh, you know what, Jane, your boyfriend's out there laying on the Scott Eastwood horn.Will you just get out there already?Yeah, Ryan Gosling's outside just punching Scott Eastwood.His most convincing roles would be inanimate object.Yes.Hey, you want to play my chair?You're going to play a chair that, oh, bummer,
36:22is supposed to be sitting on.See, that's the thing is, like, we were watching the RNC that year,and Clint Eastwood brings out a chair.It turns out he was trying to introduce us to his son,but he was just his chair.I saw a chair.It turns out it was his son.He was just belittling him.
36:38his son at the RNC.If your driveway has Scott Eastwood on Cinderblocks next to another Scott Eastwood on Cinderblocks,you might be a redneck.Dude's a car.What doesn't make any sense, though, on top of this all...Did you never make out in the back of a Scotty's?Oh, big time, dude.Scott Eastwood's got a lot of leg room in the back.
37:05That's what you want.That's what you want in a Scott Eastwood is leg room.Can you put the back seats down in your Scott Eastwood?Oh, they fold right down.Okay, that's good.I love a cup holder in my...You need, and the back ones, too.Got a topless Scott Eastwood.
37:20Oh, yeah, dude, for those summer days.Totally.Just sitting inside Scott Eastwood, wind through my hair.So, Killer Croc, right?He's a classic-ish Batman villain.Sure.I never much cared for him, but it's fine.I mean, I think Adabisi there does a great job.
37:36He does.Yeah, it's just, it's one of those things where,in the Batman world for mewhen it starts veeringmore towards the ninja turtlesI kind of would check outthe monsters like the outright monstersmy clay faces
37:49why in Belrieve prison do they give himthis like impenetrablecell that people keep getting killedget him in a regular cell like everybodyelse why did he could he hideyou don't want him to be hiding in the waterSteve Steve because he axedthat's exactly right
38:07so he asked for itMy problem with this is, like, if you're going to do...Everything.Yeah.If you're going to do the monster party, it works better in the fun DC of where you have like aPat Hingle or whatever.You have the Keystone cops here.Yeah, yeah, yeah.
38:23But the idea that we're trying to make this, you know, grim and dark and gritty and whatnot,and it's like, okay, well, you're trying to make this more realistic.And in the real world, people are being shot for nothing.But you're going to save an alligator monster.Like when they first arrested this guy, or I guess was it, Batman that did it?Yeah, Batman got him.That's a flashback.We didn't bother to film.
38:47Because that would be action and it would be good.They would just execute him.He wouldn't have human rights.Well, especially an African-American Killer Croc, which we get in this movie.That's a double kill.Yeah, yeah, exactly.But it's like, Killer Croc is actually, like, as far as Amanda Waller's definition for what she needs,like killer crock is more on the side of what you need and it's not as much a dead shot
39:11because her whole argument is like hey we really dodged a bullet that superman shares our valuesbut he could have ripped the roof off the white house and killed the president so we need tohave more like you know ultra humans or whatever they call them metahumans to like fightthe next wave of whatever but let's get a bunch of punishers together yeah what do we doand captain boomerang fits that qualification was really el diablo is the only likegenuinekiller crockhas that
39:40about but it's not likehe has any godlike abilityEl Diablo is the only oneright becauseokay so boomerang is goodat boomerangsand he makes very specialboomerangs that you can use
39:52which he doesn't do in this moviehe never uses a boomeranghe never throws a boomerangand catches itbut the thing is likehalf of this squadhas no superpowers whatsoeverlike they're good at things
40:02yes was the wellreally that dryI don't know yeah get me likethere's other peopleyou can get.Get me the egg man.Get me the egg man.Exactly.
40:12Or just or make that make it again like about villains.Like oh we're being overrun by supervillains.The penguin kidnaps the president's daughter.Exactly.It's a thing where we have to go send these people who we want dead anyway to do this thing.And those people much like the dirty dozen by the way.Exactly.Or mag seven or seven samurai, whatever the fuck.
40:34Like they got to start dying, man.You can't just kill two.Rogue one.Or Rogue one.Yeah, exactly.If Superman or the Flash showed up, all these people would be dead.Like, Superman would just fucking murder everybody.And that's the end of it.
40:48That's the end of the movie.But we don't, yeah, you're right.It's just a team of punishers.And it makes no sense.I got to hear her fucking spiel at the beginning of this movie.And then we do have Enchantress who is, you know, they've got her heart.And she becomes kind of the whole movie, which is wrongheaded.Right.
41:02Magic doesn't belong in this world.And I know magic is in the comics.basically part of the suicide squad right yeah she is so the suicide squad versus the suicideone of their own goes rogue immediately like there's no villain that's why the joker needs to be thevillain and then it's like harley quinn finds out that they're going up against the joker and it's likeoh my god i'm conflicted i love my miss to jay and you know what that wouldn't putin putin and as much aswe hate jared leto in this movie that would have given him something to do it would also make sense why youwould put Marga Robbie in this movie because then he'd be like
41:36oh my God Harley Quinnshe's the only one that knows his mind and the onlyway that she's going to get off for a sentencewe can trust her can we trust her and she used to be a shrinkyeah sure and knows everything about him yeah exactlyand that would certainly be a more positivemessage of like I'm going aftermy attacker yeah then this
41:55thing they've gotgoing on here it'sit's weird it's really disgusting it feels like theyassembled the idea for a movie and dodgedthe moviethey yeah they totallythey set up nothingthey set up just a bunch of
42:09and can we mention black guppmanit's honestly most of thisfucking movie is them wandering the streetsfighting gupgutmanyep a bunch of goop peopleand it's you know thisthis movie's totally satisfactoryfor a video game
42:25and these are the cut scenesyou're like going around withwith all these supervillains fighting goopmanand you talk to captain boomerangfor a minute in a cutscene.Yeah, sure.And that's it.That's all you have to deal with.
42:38And his Samsung tablet fucking boomeranggets all the video for youand comes right back.Boy, oh boy, Chris Cabin.By the time credits were rolling,I was ready to go to Best Buyand get a Samsung Galaxy S8.Oh no, but he uses those
42:51because they're explosives, right?He said explosives expert.Just gonna set this to chargeand then it's gonna blow up the whole city.Hey, Steve, by the way.plug in more Samsung into the bank and blow the vault.Would they go to Midway City?Is that what it's called?
43:10And who lives there?Bob Costas.No, I don't know.I actually, I forget.It's not a superhero home town.It's Hockman.Yeah, maybe sometimes.I went to the Wikipedia for.
43:23It's Hockman.Mid-Center or whatever.Midway City.Midway City.Okay.And, you know, maybe Wikipedia was falsely edited or something.But it was really funny because it was like,this is the hometown of Hawkman and Hulkgirl.
43:36Hawkman currently resides in St. Roos, Louisiana.It's just like an update.Hawkman moved.Yeah, I guess Hawkman left so they had nothing to do there.I guess,but that's got to be the only justificationbecause why are we in a superhero's hometownand there's no superhero dealing with this?
43:56Yeah.You have to have to have something about Hawkman moved.and the hawk ladies on vacation i've already got badman in this i already have arkham we didn't seemuch of gotham at all in yeah that i remember in badman versus superman and got them do gotham just dogotham you got the joker do gotham it's a city it's just the the scenes we see of gothamwe can get in the common scene oh god i mean like how was how did this survive the cuttingSeriously. I know. I know. Of all the scenes Jared Leto shot for days and days and days and fucking edge to and sent condoms to people and fucking cut the eyes out of teddy bears to get to the scene that he needed to get to. Why did the common scene make it?I'll tell you exactly. I mean, this is a movie that you can tell is just market tested to death. Sure. Like they were trying to get every fucking demo they could. And one of those demos doesn't just need to see Margo Robi and like,
44:54half naked most of the movie.They need to see her grinding up against something.So they have her in a fucking cage in this scene,grinding up against some random person.But again, it's just cut to the Joker at the office, man,and there's a cage there that she's dancing.I, like, combine these scenes.I don't need this.
45:13And also, if you're going to put Common in a movie,I'm sorry, I love Common.He's awesome.He's got songs longer than this movie appearance,one of which is in the end credits.It's true.Like, what the fuck?And I mean, like, she, the way that they write her in this movie, and, like, there's a bunch of different ways to write her and then she's written in.
45:31But she's the Joker's bitch.You know what I mean?Like, she's not even the Joker's girlfriend.All of the, like, weird appropriation of, like, daddy's little whatever and the tattoos on her asshole or whatever else she has to get.It's a bit odd.And I'm not a big fan of the over-sexualized Harley Quinn that we got.Because the character, initially, there's one scene in this movie where she's dressed the old way with the sort of actual.Harley Queen, Harley Quinn.
45:55Yeah, and that's some like hallucination or something that she's having.It's not even a scene from the movie.Like the jester outfit.Yes, which is cool, you know.And it's because it doesn't necessarily need to be sexualized.She's just a woman that's, you know, dating the Joker and murdering people.A. David A.R. movie.Not sexualizing.
46:13You need, you need people to want to pleasure themselves in the basement.And if she's in a big Harlequin jumpsuit like that, nobody's pulling pod.Right.That's why it says.Putting on her. Well, they are.It does not say pudding. Yes, it does.Wait, no, it says pudding.Yes. It does. I read
46:32pudding. Random.That's so random.Oh, my God,pudding.It just, yeah, and he just, like,it's kind of funny because, like,a joke is like, hey, you want to sleep with my girlfriend?He's like, what am I an idiot? No, of course I don't.
46:49And, like, that's the Joker trick then, though.He's like, now you insulted me and shootshim in the head and you're like, all right, I'vebeen here for seven minutes.There is, and there's a fun scene when they're drivingaroundand the Batman, the Batman catchesthem and she's like, you're ruining.
47:05And she's, like, honestly, like, her timing is really goodin this movie. She's good. A lot of her jokesland, which is like, you're ruining date night.I actually laughed. You know what I mean? Like, it'sa good joke. Yeah. It lands.She delivers it properly. Like,everybody's having a great time. But also,that's like a two-minute
47:21bit of a Batman movie.I'd rather be watching.Oh, absolutely.And then we cut back to Rick Flagg taking a shit.You're just like, oh, damn it, suicide squad.But that to me is the number one problem is that it keeps on like, well, it could be this movie too.If you want it to be this movie, we could make it this movie.But no, no, no, let's go back to the other movie.
47:43And like, there are so many things that absolutely drive me nuts about Jared Leto and number one on that list.It drives you wild, huh?Is this?The Atlanta Falcons laughThat he doesNow Chris Cabin put his faceHis faceHe put his hand over his face
48:02To mimic theThe Simpsons gagAnd also the tattoo on Jared lettersOf the fucking smilingOh no does heI didn't notice thatHow did you not notice that?Because I got to lay off the pipe
48:15That's whyThat's normalFair for that you know thatBut likeThat's the one thingLike if he's gonna do the laughyou got to do the laugh.And he does it in other scenes.
48:25Yeah.But like what?Just because that's interesting?I don't know.No, it's not.It's not at all.It's really stupid.We had a cut scene that was in the extended cut.
48:36I don't know.I think it wasn't in the theatrical where Harley Quinn and the Joker are driving around and they shoot a trucker.She shoots a truck.Oh, yeah.That's extended.Yeah.But what, you know, which would be fine, you know, but the Joker has a line in this that I'm just like,come like this whole scene made me dislike it more like yeah yeah i agree you know when you're
48:58reading about this stuff and they're like oh if they just put more of the stuff in you would likeit more no no he says that like like i'm an idea i'm a state of mind yeah like he's knocking godwith that really that's a speech by the way yeah but it's also like who could care like i don'tlike the over anal analysis of the joker we fucking thought the joker to death sure resulting inthis shit the joker isn't an idea he's a fucking clown that kills people right that's not anserial murderer and i know it's been harped onto death but heath ledgers like this anarchistjoker was the best yeah it's because it's very specific you know what i mean this is everhe's a gangster because he's like you know dealing with common and stuff like that and he's got
49:42like clubs or people are grinding so he's a gangster but he's also got like goons that arecartoonish like the old school joker yeah there's like a dude who's wearing like alike a fucking polar bear costume or somethingwhen they raid this lab.Is she shooting a gun with that thing?And it's like, oh, I think it was a panda bear by the.Oh, yeah, you're right.But it's like how does that,
50:02how would that be advantageous in a fight in any way, shape, or form?You can't see anything.But that's why it's very like Batman cartoony,which is a different kind of Joker.There's that one scene where in,and we're all over the place.There's really no plot to this movie.There isn't.
50:16Sorry, nobody.Nobody cares.Where this guy's like, oh, you know,Harley Quinn is being,Hey, Mr. Joker, he's like number two.He's like, who has no name or any characteristic?He's a guy with a beard.It's just like, I'm a guy with a beard.
50:28He's a guy who looks like Ike Barron holds with a beard, which is what's confusing.So he comes to, he's like, hey, they're holding her at Bel Reeve.It's a swamp in Louisiana.And he's like, bring the car around.And he lays down.He starts laughing.And he's in this spiral of knives, which is stupid.It doesn't make any sense.
50:45And there's like, if you look at the shot.Oh, I've looked because it's the worst shot in the movie.There is like little kid like Ron.Yeah, there's baby onesies.Is he like killing babies?Like, what are we talking about?No, it's just random.Yeah, it's pretty random.
50:58It's so fucking round.Oh, man.Oh, my God.You guys, I got it.It's a spiral organization of knives, but then also a couple of IMAX.And some baby onesies.And some IMAX 3D classes too off to the side.The Joker was actually going to donate all that to charity.
51:21it's around the holidays he's so twisted but he's oh man those knives go to a soup kitchenyou want to know how i got these tax breaksman i'll tell you what if that wasn't what you were going to say that's what i wasgoing to follow it up with yeah there you go oh it's just it's so stupid and it's just notexplain he he does have three scenes and like basically uh when they go off ontheir mission he uh ike baronholz i guess is a gambling problem by the way that's a differentguy though you're mixing up too no no no ike baronholtz has ait's him ike baronholtz is the scuzzy prison guy yeah yeah i i think it's the same
52:06he has a number two that looks exactly like him yeah who's so who's doing the taunting ofthat's ike baronholt's at the beginning of the movie it's all like baronholt he's like thescuzzy guard really throughout the whole because i thought it was him and then a guy who looks like across between Ike Barronholtz and Tim BlakeNelson. That's who I thought that guywas. I think it's just bad lighting. No, I actuallyplayed every member of this film.Oh, all interesting. I know he was
52:30talented, but wow. SoIke Baranholtz has a gambling problem.The Joker gets his hooks into himand like as Harley Quinn'sbeing let off on the suicidesquad, he gives her a cell phoneand he's like, the Joker's got a contact. She's like,you're so fucked. You're like, you're
52:46so dead. And he's like, what do you mean?What do you mean? We'll never know, because it's notin the rest of the movies.That whole thread.That character is just a lot movie.I would have maybe liked to see Jokerlike actually kill somebodyand actually torture him, but no, no, no.
53:00All this, not action, great.You know what's crazy?This movie.The Joker?This movie.No, Harley Quinn, you're crazy.Lady, you're crazy.Hey, lady, you're crazy.
53:12O, crikey, she's a rabbit hole.Don't fall down, mate.Hey, that one's pretty out there.Huh?Guys.And I'm El Diablo.I have nothing bad to say about anybody.I'm an alligator, but you're crazy.
53:28Yes.You know, what's funny about El Diablo is the fact that he's already had his journeywhere he's like improved and become a better person.Right.And then he's the one that has to like fucking fix this movie again?I'm sorry, there's a god with the power of fire.Yeah.And he uses the fire to say goodbye to Joel Kinnaman once and then nothing until the end of this movie.
53:56Can someone have a journey?Can some character grow from this experience?No.They do in friends.Everybody becomes friends at some point.No, no, no, no, no.You know what, Steve?It's not just friends.
54:10As Vin Diesel would say, it's family.There is so much shit at the end of this movie about like even El Diablo himself.Yeah, he's like, don't mess with my family.He's like, I already lost one family.I'm not going to lose another one.And I was like, stop being friends with each other.What are you talking about?Yeah.
54:29Well, the movie just stops.And they're like, I guess they should probably just sit down and have a drink.You know what I mean?Like, we've been out for a while.It's been like, this whole thing is like a day.Yeah.Like, if you want to make them become a fan, have them go overseas for a month and a half.Yeah.
54:44Like, let them get through.Let them take a cruise.Or, like, go through the day.Maybe they're invading Von Doom or that's Marvel.But like something in your, you know, there has to be an external threat.Well, that would also allow for a villain, a compelling villain, rather than justenchantress doing like moving like this.Just doing dancing stuff.
55:07I wish people at home could see what Chris just did.That's just for you.That's the special show for these guys.Sometimes it pays to be on this show.A Christmas bonus is.That's why you got to come to.live shows, man, March 4th at theBellhouse, N.Y.com.
55:22It's just, the beef isso much for the beginning of the movie, no one'son the same page, and so much of it islike, should we be a suicide squad? Should wenot be a suicide squad? Right. I'm leaving.No, you're not. Why? Because you havea bomb in your neck. Do Istill? Yeah, you do. Okay.
55:38Which is the lay... That's the laziest shit,by the way. Lazyest writing ever.It's like, how do I keep this team together? Oh, theygot a bunch of dog collars onthem that make their heads blow.yeah yeah the whole like battle royale thing but you know what's really fucking stupid is the factthat the joker comes in on that helicopter Harley Quinn leaves yes leaves the movie yeah leavesthe movie and then immediately comes right back when that when that helicopter then crashes right
56:05she falls onto she happens to fall onto a skyscraper's roof yeah thank thank heaven for that yeahand and then she just immediately goes back and joins the suicide squadNo.They also go, they also go looking for her, which is stupid.But they don't, doesn't the Joker disengage her neck bomb as well?Right.Yeah.That was part of the whole thing.
56:28So then why should she care?Why should she care?Because they're not just friends.They're family.Oh, they're at Olive Garden.Well, that fucking scene of them at the bar, just make it all of God.Oh, that'd take place at an Olive Garden.Why not?
56:42Or at a Samsung phone factory.You know who would love Unlimited Br?Headsticks. Killer crime. Definitely. And the salad bar man.Well, you know what's funny? Of the fishheads unlimited as well, I am a crocodile person.You know, the last time I was in an Olive Garden, which was many moons ago, I think I did see a crocodile person coughing all over that salad bar.If you were going to go somewhere and find a crocodile person, I imagine Olive Gardens where it is.They love Alfredo sauce.turns out. You know, the best
57:18part about me having to fucking sufferthrough that wretched WarrenBeatty movie was thatrules don't apply? Yeah, yeah, the worstfilm of the year. So I...We're not doing an episode of it. Right, yeah, because no.But it's terrible. Andthe best thing about it was I was
57:34going to see it at wherever itwas, the Fox screening room.So I got off the train and I was walkingthrough Times Square a little bitand I just had the pleasureof passing a tourist familythat the mother just went,oh, good, there's the Olive Garden.
57:50I was like, oh, you're doomed.That's how you know where you are.You're at the Olive Garden.That's where we're going for lunchafter we tour the M&M store, mother.I heard New York has good Italian food.I heard they have good burgers.Oh, good, they have a TGI Friday.
58:06Like, what are you doing?Mudslides.What are you doing?So a couple of helicopters crashin this movie.I guess the whole really stupidthing is they're like, we got to goextract the package. We have to do this
58:20video game thing. Go upNakatomi Tower to get this fucking package.And the package is justViola Davis. Are you kiddingme? It's just...Wasn't it Octavia Spencer? Oh, no, I'm aracist. I'm sorry.Wasn't it Sinbad?
58:35I think Sinbad played Amanda Waller.You know what? Sinbadplayed Amanda Waller in that Green Lanternmovie, I swear to God.Oh, no. Octavia Spencer's in that suicidesystemI saw the suicidesystem last night
58:51and Octavia Spencerwas great in itdude Octavia Spenceris in that movieThe Shackyou see the trailerfor thisoh god
58:58it's a crazyit's a realit's a realPTL movie manoh but justwait we're gonna do ityeahit is going to be bad
59:07but so yeahto youand why that's a twistI have no ideaI have noI think JoelKillingmankeeps being
59:15like yeah wellthe person that we're takingis a really brave personand then like Will Smith's likeyeah this person betteryour cancer with all the work we're putting inno you're part of the suicide squadand we've already established
59:28that you're here because we have a fucking bomb in your neckto your point earlierjust make it the president's daughteror something make it actually somethingand I know that would be likeoh that's too much like escape from L.Abut who cares just do itsomething just anything or the president
59:43himself or a senator or the vice presidentI can escalate the stock of this movie easily in this.Take her out.Who you're going to go get is fucking Hawkman.You're in Midway City.You've got to help Hawkman move.You've got to fucking, like, dude.Yeah, I got some packages.
01:00:01Oh, Killer Crack, you look strong.You might want to take the bed frame and Deadshot.Got a TV with your name on it.I already boxed up most of it.If you want to check the closets, though,I haven't really gone through thoseHarley we're going to have to angle thatthe couch out of it. No, no, no, no. I think we're going to have to
01:00:19take it apart. All right, guys, listen,everybody's been asking me at different pointsthroughout the morning. Yes, I'm buyingus all lunch around1.30. All right. Now let's just getback to work. Captain Boomerang,that box has glass in it.I'm just saying, no, you're doing
01:00:36fine. Just don't rush.Don't rush. El Diablo, do you want toget here? Here, sir. Okay. So, do youwant to go get us all waters?Because we're going to get parched.These waters El Diabro butter, butter, they're fucking hot.I can't drink warm water while I'm moving someone.You know, I go, we drive to Hawkman's house to help him move,
01:00:56and he hasn't even picked up the truck yet.So I have to wait outside on his stoop while he goes, gets the U-Haul.I didn't, I honestly, when Hawkman said that he was going to get this lunch,I thought he was, you know, I didn't think it was going to be a fucking turkey sandwich from the deli.I thought it was going to be an actual meal.Oh, Ben throws up food on the floor.eat upthat is a great idea though
01:01:17like have it be asecretly kidnapped superherothat'd be so cool yeah maybe he's likehe's getting lethal weapontortured somewheresure they got a car batteryhooked up to his titsbut like it would be
01:01:32it would be actually really coolif they did likethis whole thing was to save Batman or somethingand it'd be like the guy who put us awayyes and it's a real fuck youthey open the door and they're likeoh hell no are you kidding me it's just viola davis because it's viola davis and whatever i mean likeshe kills all of her analysts which is kind of a cool scene no it's not because it's it's so not
01:01:55anything like it's honestly she belongs in the suicide squad now not as running it because of hercrimes well because it's like she's supposed to be this like badass because she also says at one pointlike oh by the way jol kinneman like yeah totally you can leave and not do the suicide squadmanaging um and then i'll make sure you never see your girlfriend again he's like you know i heardall the stories about you but uh guess i was stupid enough to think some of them maybe wouldn'thave been true and you're just like shut up just everybody shut up all these also all these peopleyou don't think they are under some weird fucking legal thing where they can't they willyou legally will be killed yes if you say anything yeah there's so nDAs abound in there's no
01:02:41need to kill anybody. And now David Harborhas a real fucking mess on hishands. He's got to fucking get a cleaningcrew. It's a whole fucking day.Well, at the end of this movie, which is funny,did anyone stay for the mid-creditsscene? I sure did. Wait, there was a mid-creditscene? There is, yeah. It's a stinger.
01:02:57Where it's Viola Davisand Ben Affleck having, like, lunch.Maybe the same steakhousethere at the lunch menu, I think. No, thisis definitely her detectivesoffice. It's like afucking noir detectiveoffice. And she's like, they're sitting down. She's like, the wrong people are asking about Midway City. I'm like, what do you mean? Everybody knows what happened at Midway City? Because it's a national event. Yeah. It's called the news. Excuse me, Ms. Waller. It's called the news. Did you see what happened in the Atlantic? Three fucking ship sank. Oh, yeah. And the Navy reported it. I, as Bruce Way, need this file on all the meta-humans. And I'm in no way Batman.
01:03:41Also, I'm part of the men in black, and we just blanked them all real quick.Oh, it's weird that you're giving me this file on the Flash and Aquamanbecause I just spent two and a half hours at another movie getting a different file on Aquaman and the Flash.Yeah, well, I think the thing about it is...And thank you for this enchantress knowledge now that she's dead.Thanks so much for that.Compare notes with Lex.I think she...
01:04:04Well, because what he really only gets from Lex Luthor is all of the future Justice League marketing material.Oh, that's a promo.It's a bunch of quick time files.It's all these quick times that are part of a big EPK.It's not the actual juicy detail.Lex, is that a ProRes HQ file?What are we talking, H-264 or what?Like, what's the codec on that, bro?
01:04:29But, like, it's so stupid, and she's just like,by the way, Mr. Wayne, like, you look tired.You should stop working nights.And everybody goes, eh, because it's bad.It's a pretty dark night out there.I'm not Batman.What's on the menu tonight?Filayed bats on.
01:04:53Laying it on pretty thick there, Amanda.It's just so dumb.You know that I'm Batman, right?I mean, it just seems silly that I would sit hereand pretend that I'm not Batman.You know what?Why not just have this scene with him as Batman?Yeah, that'd be cool.
01:05:05He's done.He's talked to Commissioner Gordon as Batman.Exactly.Why not?Talk to Amanda Waller.It would be cool.It would be kind of cool.There are scenes.
01:05:13There's famous scenes where Amanda Waller is shoving her finger in Batman's face,and he has to deal with him in the comments.It would have been interesting.It would have been cool.But that's the problem.It would have been interesting in the suicide.It could have been like, you know,we saved your ass in Midway City, right?
01:05:28If he was the hostage, damn it, man.Well, because that's the whole point of the thing is to him to tease the Justice Leaguebecause he's like, you've got to shut this shit down.And if you don't, me and my friends will.Wait.There's a Justice League movie coming out?Yeah, dude you didn't know?What?
01:05:46I didn't.Also, this movie forces me to again watch some footage of Superman's fucking funeral, by the way, at the beginning of it.Thanks for nothing.Why are we even pretending he's dead?Is he going to be resurrected within nine minutes of that movie?Like, what are we talking about?The t-shirt, the guy with the remember t-shirt.Oh, sure.
01:06:04You know what we should do actually?Not right now, but we should maybe a fun.We'll figure out a prize.Jump off a bridge.Let's all guess the minute in the Justice Leaguewherein Superman comes back.Pops back in.Yeah, we'll open it up to the fans and then we'll have something
01:06:22and make some sort of cool prize.Are we doing this now?We're going to guess?Let's go around the horn for us.Let's guess.I'm going to say because you guaranteedit's going to be a long as fuck movie.One hour you get some Superman.
01:06:33I was going to say 40 minutes because I knew it was going to be a long movie.Actually, I'm with Eric.Like a 30 minute mark, I think.30 minute?I'm going to, all right.I'm going to go, Price is right one minute.Opens.No.
01:06:46I'll probably, you know what?I'm going to say an hour 40.Wow.You know what?That's also a good move because they might be like fucking teasing that shit.That's actually true.Also, because the rule is he's alive.Not like, you know, you see his dead body.
01:07:00He has to be alive.Yeah, yeah.Where he's going to jump into something.But they know, they know that this Batman is more popular than that Henry Cavill Superman.And I guarantee you.much of this movie is going to be fuckingfront-loaded with him just going aroundgetting the band together for the first time.
01:07:16Well, it's all about the black suit, isn't it?Now he's going to have the black suit.Oh, yeah, Harley Quinn and black suit.So, like, yeah, we're fucking around in office buildings.There's a John Ostrander office building, which is nice for John Ostrander.Yeah, that's fantastic.I'm pretty sure he left the screening at that point.He's like, oh, fuck it!
01:07:38John, did you see your tribute?Nope.So, like, yeah, then we, we pick up Harley Quinn again.She's, like, she's kind of sad.And she's like, oh, where are we going now?We're going for a drink, okay.Well, because now let's figure this out, though, at the end of this office building shenanigans.We're fighting a bunch of putty people and doesn't matter.
01:07:58I'm asleep on the couch.There are three helicopter crashes.Yes.Three.There's one that's like, it's like hijacked by the Joker.Or maybe it's just two.one is hijacked by the Jokerthat inevitably crashes
01:08:12and I'm supposed to thinkthat the Joker's deadwhat a cliffhangerand then Amanda Waller'sfucking goes down two seconds laterand she somehow survivedand the first one when they comeinto the fucking city
01:08:23that one crashedOh you're right no there are threefucking copter porn manI was gonna say Ericbecause I know youand I know yourpreferences herethese are horrible copter shots
01:08:35yeahthey're all CGIlet's let'sno no nothese are choppers.Oh,these are guaranteedthis is military-grade
01:08:44chopper.That's a chopper.This isn't a news copter.I'm more of a copter guy.Yeah, I'm definitely more of acopter guy.Yeah.And then,
01:08:52an auto-gyro.I love auto-gyro.Viola Davis gets kidnappedand thendoes Enchantress turn intoher and Rick Moranusinto dogs at that point?I forget.
01:09:04It's so fucking ghostbusters.It's so stupid.Oh, there is that science.I do have to,to say it because it's so stupid. There's the titularline in this movie. Oh, guaranteed.So Will Smith, even before we leave, he's like,oh, so you got us going into
01:09:17this mission like some kind ofsuicide squad.Wicca, wicker,like we're somekind of, that happens, isn't thatin the new Fantastic Four movie? Like, are wesome kind of Fantastic Four movie?They say something
01:09:35about like, one of them'slike, we're the four.Where the, something, the four, and then, like, I think it's Miles Teller.Miles Teller's like, yeah, the fantastic fool.That's a spot on Miles Teller in fresh.I was in whiplash, and I'm going to use all the fumes in that fucking tank.It's like I'm some kind of Aquaman.My favorite scene, my favorite movie of the year was Manchester by the Sea,
01:10:03and when Michelle Williams confronts Casey Affleck and she's crying, and she's like,my heart is broken.It's like we're in some kind ofManchester by the sea.What?She doesn't say that?I know.She doesn't.
01:10:20But no, every movie has to haveto show her a line.It's likeI'm some type of Dr. Strange.Give me that tape.It's like it's some kind ofvideodrome.Put it into my chest.
01:10:38vagina. Also, pausethis immediately and go watch video drumif you have. That's a good call.So, yeah, Manda Waller gets kidnapped.We're all at a train station or something.When we go get a drink.Oh, right. And El Diablo tells this story whereI guess it's like mouth, his wife mouthed
01:10:54off to him and he burned his whole familydown. That's correct. And everyone's like, hey, that's a cooldude. Yeah, that's an appropriate response. She said, don'tbring drug money and weaponsinto my house and he killed her. Yeah, that'sa death sentence. That's a bigdeath sentence. But he's a softsoul, though.
01:11:09Yeah, he didn't come on.The face tattoos were just so distractinglybad. It's so stupid. Also,he's telling this story, andhe's got, like, a littleflame lady dancing on hispalm, and then he puts a fuckingglass over it and snuffs
01:11:24it out, and somehow this littlecartoon flame dies.And Harley Quinn should be like, you know, as avictim of domestic violence, fuck you,and I don't want to talk to you anymore. We're not family.We're not friends. You're a piece of shit.Like, have any kind of conflictamongst this group aside from
01:11:39we're bad guys.They're family now.They're family.This is the scene that we were talking aboutthat takes place at Olive Garden.So they're contractually family with those walls.Also, you're crazy.All bad guys get along.
01:11:52It's not like any of them have unique personality.That's a crazy story.El Diablo.Here comes my second round of unlimited pasta.Also, how stupid is it?Oh, it's great.I get two entrees for nine bucks.How stupid is it though
01:12:10That at the beginning of the movie or in like the flashbacksWhere she's just Dr. Harley Quinzel or whateverYeahShe's just talkingYeahAnd then when she gets goopedShe's like now I'm talking like this for no reasonTo be fair
01:12:24She goes crazyAnd maybe it's like when I get drunkI sound much more bronxie than I actually doThat does slip outBut this presumes thenThat Harley Quinzel was born in fucking yonkersWell, also, you're getting goopedIs being forced
01:12:41To have electroshock therapyFor no reason whatsoever.Well, I don't think she's likeShe's not a well-done potatoUntil they get dipped in that vat.That scene is so stupid.We could talk about it.Sure.
01:12:57That's like a YouTube, like, tribute video.Like, will you be there for me in quotation marks?And you see like shots of like two Buffy characters.I was going to say,It's a fucking buffy meme.Yeah, it's just like it's them and they're just sitting around to beautiful music and like he's talking about some oath she has to take and he shoves her in as we talk about in our Batman and Robin episode.No, he doesn't shove her.She just does it, baby.
01:13:20And he dives in after.In these open fucking vats.That's right.In the same fucking.What chemical is this?Yeah, what is in there?And it's burning, it's burning his shirt off of him.It's like, they have no reaction.
01:13:35like what what mannow that would be a scene if they wereactually melting in the middleyeah like well show meskeleton joker oh man she looks like fucking spikeat the end of gremlinsshow me the fucking like transformationthough because I'm watching this
01:13:52and they're in this like yellowgoop and all of thiscolor is falling off themand I'm like show me her facegetting fucked up or like he's gettingmore fucked up or she's not even thatpale. It's not like, she's not Jack Nicholson'sthe Joker where she's like white as a sheet.
01:14:09Right. She's a little pale-ish. If you're going tojust make them white then, you know, make them bothwhite. I don't care. This scenehas the one, like, there area lot of mistakes in this movie.This is the biggest mistake in Hollywood 2016.This one, I was like, howdo you even? Because they
01:14:25both jump in and it's, there'sunderwater shots where you can sincerely clearthat their entire bodiescan go under this thing.It's like a horse diving at aFair.It's a deep pool of VAT POV.Of chemicals.
01:14:41So they both jump in both underwater shots where they're clearly all in this thing.And then he stands up in the VAT.Right in the middle of it.Right in the middle of it.It makes no sense.How do you fuck that up?How?You're David Eyre, man.
01:14:55And you're just wondering what cool song I'm going to play in this scene.What is the cool song?What was the cool song?I don't even remember.Is it like a rap song?Was it the theme song to Buffy?It might have been.That'd be great if they went under,
01:15:10and then up came Sarah Michelle and David Boreannis.What a twist that would be.Man, what a joker.Random.So, I mean, like, yeah, they go to this train station.Killer Crock takes Scott Eastwood.He turns into an underwater car.He goes underwater to plant this stupid bomb.
01:15:31This is just that underwater levelin the Teenage Mutant Engine.turtles of Nintendoyes which was totally hard by the way it wasimpossibly hard I don't think I've everpassed it there's also more suspensein that game than this and why are theseputty people underwater with
01:15:46them whatever what is with thesegoopmen man well the goopmen aremade by the witch and the brothermonster thing that's right out of a fuckingThor movie yeah by the wayhe's there now and he's walking aroundgreat well like alsolike again with the villains
01:16:02like they're just gods they'restupid plain gods there's no weakness there's no character right why the fuck do i care what they'redoing it's just a big stupid uh they like use the same graphics card as they did from man of steelyeah with that end thing where like the spirals are going inside themselves and the bigshe's got this crazy machine that she's putting on that makes a ring around it's like a fakeit's like a vortex thing yeah and like i don't know what it does but like at a certain pointbecause Viola Davis is thereit knows all these secret government
01:16:36installations and like poor David Harbourhas to be like, how do they know that?Hey, am I still in this movie?Cool.They've got like a USB drive connectingViola Davis to the fucking Malstromlike and he's downloading all her thoughts.Like it makes no fucking sense.
01:16:52So Joel Kinman's like all right.By the way, they're all like ohat a certain point I think Joel Kinmaneither deactivates. He destroys the appthat like he has and he's likeBut do you guys want to, A, help me save the worldand B, my girlfriend's in there?And they're like, yeah, we're all fucking murders.
01:17:08I killed my whole fucking family.This lady is as homicidal as it gets.I'm an assassin who hates your guts.But let's all just go in, yeah, and I'm a crocodile person.I too as a crocodile person care about this.By the way, notice how much we talked about Katana?I was just going to say Katana's like, yeah, well, I'm here already.You guys are my rye.
01:17:30Catana's biggest contribution to this film is at around this point she drops her sword.I don't know.It might have even happened off screen.And Harley Quinn goes up to Enchantress with and is like, oh, yeah, sure, I'll join you.And cuts her with the sword and it does nothing.And there you go.Thanks, Katana.Yeah.
01:17:50Thanks for coming.Your sword.If you had just been a sword, it would have been better.Well, no, this is when a Diablo uses a cheat code and turns into a big,flaming pile of shitRastafarian fire godit's a skeleton with a Native Americanheaddress on I think he was supposed to be like a
01:18:08like a Mayan god or somethingand if you're a godyeah what the fuck is your problemDiablo if a womanasks if you're a godyou say yesespecially if you are onethat's what this ending now is just fucking
01:18:24zool and stay puffit is and theyhe fights he burns this guy downand the incubus yells, you know, pardon mewhile I burst into flames and the bomb explodesand he dies.Which also, I'm sorry.Wait a second.
01:18:39We are disabling these gods and this god vortexwith some good old fashioned acme dynamoves.Turns out TNT, that's all you need.What are you fucking talking about?Just fucking carpet bomb the city.End of movie.Exactly.It's all so ill-defined.
01:18:57Like, yeah, exactly.Just, yeah.You don't think the U.S. government has fucking drones they can send in to fucking lay waste of these ghouls and goblins?Steve, you're the comic book guy.This is D.C. and they've decided to make it a witchcraft movie.Is there anyone in the DC universe that deals with magic?Oh, of course.Well, who do you want?
01:19:15You want Dr. Fade?Do you want Dr. Accult?How about...Dr. Accult?Come on, you lazy fuckers.Or the Phantom Stranger could come up there.How about the Magic Squad?Because this needs a magic squad.
01:19:28There's the Justice League dark.You can get John Constitaine.You can get Dead Man.You can get Zatana.All these people.You know what?Now we're on to something.Now we're on to a movie that's not this movie.
01:19:39Focus on something.Yes.But then would you be able to call it the suicide squad as if anyone gave a shit in the first place?And then the movie's over, right?Like that's it.Well, Harley Quinn is like, oh, she thinks the Joker is dead.And she's like, going to make a deal with the devil.She's like, you can bring back my pudding?
01:19:57And she's like, yes, of course.worse that can. Oh, by the way, we have fantasysequences where Harley Quinn wantsto be married and have children with theJoker. Say what?The fuck are you talking about? This witch showsthem all of like whattheir lives could be if
01:20:12they go with her. Turns out that wasn't theJoker. That was actually PaulAllen. He was totally dressed likePaul Allen. Oh, yeah, what a great businesscard you got. The worstshot, by the way, of the whole movie issomething called Silly and Braille.David Ayer close up on her pressing normal.
01:20:33Oh, yeah.I wanted to vomit everywhere.She presses normal on a dishwasher.On a microwave.She goes, you artist.What an artist, man.He's an visual artist.And by the way, that's really it.
01:20:48The crazy woman that you keep on calling crazy at the end of the day.Just wants to be a housewife with a kid and wants to be dawdled on by thechoker? It should be them fucking skullfucking Batman's corpse. You know what I mean?Like that's what the whole thing. That's herin a pool of blood. Exactly. That's what these people get off on.You know what? If that was the ending, I might actually say this is a good movie.Using Nightwing's fucking skull as a butt plug.
01:21:18Exactly. Like that's what they're doing because they fucking hate bat.Give them some stability in the character that you're making.Not just like women like babies, I guess. I don't know.Women like babies, right?Oh, don't you want to get knocked up or something?With common in the back disemboweling Robin.Just for the capper.What is, oh, and then like, yeah.
01:21:41I mean, they blow up the demon, right?She's like, oh, will you make my pudding come back?He's like, yeah, she uses a sword.She pulls out, she's like, you made one mistake, sweetheart.You messed with my friends, which is the worst line in any movie.Are you friends with anybody?Dude's like dropping a hammer on your foot.You feel that thud.
01:22:03It's so uncomfortable.Theory is that I think they took a Captain Planet script.Oh.And they rewrote it as Suicide Squad.And I think they just kept that line.It's like what kept happening with all those action movies that could have been diehard movies.It turns out they were having a safe plunder industry.Oh no.
01:22:25You messed up all your plastic.things that kill a delphins.Heart,Hurt, blow him up.Heart.Hey, Hart, you and your monkeyblow him up.Oh, they go to Hart's fantasy.
01:22:40It's just him fucking that monkey.It's a world where he can fuck that monkey.It's okay, Hart.We're going to hell tonight.And it's also stupid because, like,we see a bunch of them,like Joel Kinnemans just married to June, Moon,and whatever, or whatever.
01:22:56All this stupid shit, right?And then El Diablo's got his family back, and he's like, no, wait, this isn't real.And he, like, morphs back to the train station.And he's like, hey, wake up, this isn't real.And, like, Joel Kinnam's like, oh, it's not real.And then the witch starts yelling at El Diablo, like, how long have you been able to see?And I'm like, now he's a fucking psychic.What are you doing?
01:23:22Oh, actually, Deadshot wishes he killed Batman.That's his fantasy.Like, and it's not really explicit.Closer to what I would want.Dude, just make it the dead shot movie, you know?Well, you'll see that sometimes.I'm sure.She, they kill Enchantress.
01:23:37Everything kind of goes back to normal.And then, like, you think the movie's going to have any balls and, Diablo dies, by the way, which is fine.You think the movie's going to have any balls in a movie called Suicide Squad that Enchandras would die.But nope, she comes back.Who turned out the lights?It is.It's a who turned out the lights.Dude, she's got like this, this, like, shell of, like, the witch's torched by.
01:23:57cracks open, like the fucking Abel FerrarBody Snatchers movie. And outcomes this June moon, like, oh, I thoughtyou killed me or something. And then he'slike, I thought you killed me.Oh, then William Atherton comes there. I'm going to shut yousuicide squad boys down. And then Hawkman's like, on secondthought, Captain Boomerang, put that box down. I love this town.
01:24:23Put that box down. I'm staying.Oh, my God. I would love it.if it was a movie aboutHawkman movingfrom to St. Roche or whatever.It's so silly.I mean, like, and then...Captain Boomerang does nothing.
01:24:37Oh, he does less than nothing.He's got a funerandum little phony that he likes.Oh, I guess he might be one of thembronies I read about on the internet.Well, they're fun.Those guys sound like a wild bunch of dudes.And then the rest of the movie's just themlike getting their perks in prison,
01:24:53like Killer Crock.Yeah.Well, it's actually, it's super romantic.An abuse victimgets back with her abuser.Yeah, that's cool.And a big swoon goes across the fucking audience.You mean how the Joker breaks into this prison in riot gear, which, by the way, on my second
01:25:07viewing here, I noticed it says Joker on his right here.It sure does.It says right in the fucking front.Dude, who is his tape?I mean, like, you know, like the Joker always likes to make his own costumes.But like, we're branding riot gear.We're making hot topic outfits for your girlfriend.That's a problem.
01:25:25I think that's my, that's the big problem is there's way too much.much effort in this joker outfit even the jack nicholson one didn't look like it had this muchit was one costume he's just got a shitty purple suit this and this is just like what are you doing manjust you know spray paint a smiley face on right gear exactly yep are you like doing a partnershipwith tommy hill figure like what the fuck how much do you know that that fell through actually oh that'stoo bad now we have to say uh Tommy Bahama oh the guy oh my god if he's a Tommy Bahama or the guyI was starting Fubu.Damon John?
01:25:59I don't know.From Shark Tank.Oh.Oh, really?What are you watching Shark Tank for?I'm 80 years old.Oh, Jesus.No one knows this.
01:26:07I'm 80 years old.Yeah, and that's like our, that's our sequel set up is like,he goes,let's go home and I'm throwing up everywhere.You mean to Valhalla, great.So, and then I think one of the first credits,we see at the very end, by the way.Right.
01:26:27Is, what was his name?Stephen Munchkin?Manitian.Manitian.Which is, yeah, which is Trump's treasury secretary.Oh, right.Who, by the way, you know, obviously,executive producer of this film,
01:26:39I think I've got this working theory.Okay.That Trump is assembling a suicide squad of government.Oh, okay.Because he sees, he's like,there's a lot of terrible governments in the world, right?So, you know, ISIS is,bad
01:26:55we got to be worsewe need to have a worsegovernment than ISISand that wayhow do you fightyou fight something badwith something badwell I'll say this
01:27:06president electthat Steve Bannonfell you got therehe looks he's a dead ringerfor killer crockI foundI found Steve Bannonin a sewer
01:27:17he's chewing on a goat corpsehe was fucking yellingabout Jewshe was feedingunderTrump Tower.You know, I don't thinkthe analogy for Killer Croc works so well
01:27:30because at the end of the movie,Killer Croc's one wish is to watchBET, which I don't think Steve Shannon would like.Yeah, that's true.Steve Bannon would, he's like,Steve Bannan is the type of guy that would be like,why isn't there a white entertainment television?He's had that conversation a lot.
01:27:45Oh, sure.Yeah.Can I get a parental block on the channel for these people?The weird thing is like, why does Killer Croc want BET?Why isn't he like, I want,cable. There you go. I wantDirecTV. How about just abunch of corpses I can eat?
01:28:00That's what I like to do.You know what? And that's another thing that's not paid offin this movie. I have to hear and actuallythere's a conversation at one point between himand Harley Quinn. That's an extendedscene by the way. Is it like that he's a cannibal?And it's like blah, blah, blah. He'sa cannibal. She's like, why do you eat
01:28:16people? And like, that has tohappen. Like the end of the movie, like hechomps into one of these fuckinglittle blob monstershe does bite a bunch of them that doesn't matterthe thing is like does he the thing is these thingshave like no consistency that you can't tell anythingas fucking hell that's a PG-13
01:28:34thing by the way these blob people it's abig PG-th they're not people they explodeand black ink whatever double downon that cannibal thing by the way because his littleintro graphiccannibalistic tendencyyeah it's right therewhat does he eat other killer crocks
01:28:49apparentlyI am the last onewell that was apparently a bunch of stuff that is like complete i don't even know if they shot itbut was a lot of killer crock as a kid what no coming to grips with like i'm beautifuland because there's all the shit in the movie about how like everyone keeps calling him ugly and he's gotlike a positive image of himself which is nice sure that's great who could care uh but but there wasa thing where it's like him getting picked on as a kid like no i'm beautiful or whatever yeahThey cut out the scene with Christina Aguilera's beautiful.
01:29:25Now I'm just picturing a killer crock movie that's structured like moonlight.Oh my God.Like Killer Croc in grade school, high school, and then him as an adult.Do you sell my mom drugs?You were the only one Batman in all those years.You were the only one that touched me.Oh, God.And that's, I mean, it's the end of the movie.
01:29:51What is the special credit that David Ayer played someone named Slappy?Smitty.Oh, Smitty?When they're jumping the goat corpse into Killer Crocs tank.The goat, he's the goat corpse?He is, actually.He did double work.But he's the other, he's talking to Ike Berenholtz.
01:30:09I'll if I can see it.Everyone's talking.Ike Berenholtz just takes a left out of movie town, man.He really does.They ride him out on a rail.That's it.I can't believe I've seen this movie twice.now one of which was in theaters and one of which was extended you know what honestly the first time
01:30:26I saw this movie I was like I don't like it but there's more of a movie here than Batman or soI thought yeah I rewatch this and I'm just like it's boring as shit it's sorry but it is downrightand it is like paint like some we have we didn't talk that much about the dialogue yeah the dialogueis haltingly bad like there's some fucking scene where uh like fucking slip knot gets offoff of plane and they're like, that's the manwho can climb anything. Yeah.I'm like, what?Why do I care? It's that French
01:30:59guy from man on wire.Philippe Petit.That's cool. He also punches a woman in the face.The second woman to punch in the face.Oh, and they all just start crackingup. It's a knee slapper.That's righteous. Hey, that's grim dark.Also, Batman punches Harley Quinn
01:31:19underwater in the face. How does thatwork. I don't know. It's fun, though. Underwaterpunch? Underwater punch, you knock somebody out witha punch? He's bad. Yeah, I guess he'sBatman, but physics. So I wouldnot recommend this movie. No. No.No. But, so, but Ithink Eric kind of raised the question, though,
01:31:36what would you, what, what is the better movie here?Is it BVS? I think it is. I think it is. I think it is, too. I thinkBatman versus you meant it fails muchbigger. Yeah. It swings. There'smore at stake. Yeah. Yeah. And I meanlike, honestly, like, I would much ratherThere are stakes. That's the thing.I wanted this to be a better movie, but
01:31:55it's not. I kind of, look, if this was down anddirty and, like, crazy and fun, I'd beinto it, but I'd rather watch a badBatman and Superman movie any dayover a bad movie with fuckingkiller crock and Slipk and Slipk and all theseother characters. That really came to lightwith the extended, I will say,
01:32:11is that I was firmly on thatthat this was better than BVS.Yeah. And I wasturned around completely watching this again.Yeah. And like, you got to go back theother way. The road's closed.And the BVS cutis also a pain in the ass to watch.
01:32:28Oh, I haven't seen the last one. Yeah.I fell asleep. We promised it andwe'll never do it. Sorry, everybody. Sorry.We failed. Yeah, it's weird, though, like, because I put outmy worst of list and I had BVS as beingworse, just because I thinkthere was more at stake for that movie. There was moreriding on that movie. I will say... It could have been, and that movie
01:32:45could have been a lot better than it was. Well, I will say,I think there's nobodyis goodin BVS.Margo Roby is good in this.I think Affleck and Irons are good in BVS though.That is fair as well.I think Irons is good.
01:32:59I'm not on the Affleck Batman.See, I am and I think that's where like, if anything,that's what's tipping the scale is like BVS has more of Ben Affleck being Batman than thismovie does, which this movie, it should be zero.Yes.But they chose to do it.And it's like a point that interests me, I guess.I don't know.
01:33:19It's tough.It's really, I mean, they're both really bad in this.universe is dreadful. You've made yourself a dreadful fuckingcinematic universe. Congratulations. It's just awkward because you watch thisJLA trailer and we're just yucking with Bruce Wayne in the flash through the wholefucking thing. Oh, is there a trailer here? I don't know if it's a trailer if it was like aComic-Con footage. All right guys. Wait,they're making a Justice League movie. Have you heard about this?
01:33:45Have you heard about this? What? You heard about this? That's the Suicide Squad.Seca, Sikas, Suwitz, God, Squad.Directed by David Ayer.David A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-R.If you want more, we hate movies, check out W-H-M-Podcast.Dot com.Like us on Facebook and follow us on Twitter.We're at W-H-M podcast.
01:34:06And right into the ye-old mailbag, we all hate movies at gmail.com.Rate and review the show, wherever you would choose to download it from.It's very important to us.We would greatly appreciate it.If you take a second out of your busy day to do that.Yeah, if you're on iTunes.Hey, dude, you're on iTunes?Man, we're on iTunes.
01:34:25That's right.Let's connect.Hey, man, you got a iTunes?I got iTunes.Rate us, whatever stars you think we deserve.It would greatly, greatly help the show.So next week, the worst of 2016 continues with, what do we do?What's the next week's thing?
01:34:45Is that what Steve's looking up right now?That's exactly what he's doing.He's trying to look it up.Oh shit, Tehran's Book of Secrets has what the next episode is.It is going to be the gods of Egypt.Oh, gods of Egypt.The god's of Egypt.That's a movie with a bunch of white people playing Middle Eastern people.
01:35:04Yeah, it's a lot of fun.Hey, that's terrific.It says, oh, it's Gerard Butler, right?Gerard Butler, I'm an Egyptian god.And you know what?Okay.I noticed this.I was checking like other people's best
01:35:17of list to see if I was like missing anythingwhile making money. God's Egypt all over them.Dude. What? It's, it wassome UK thing. I think it was the Guardian.The Guardian's like joint staffof like our best films of the year.Gods of Egypt was on there.Wow. It's nonsense. Yeah.
01:35:33It might not have been the Guardian. It was something. I was like,this is shocking. It's about timethe citizens of the UK played Gods of Egypt.I was going to say, unless it's a bathroom wall, that doesn't makemuch sense. What? The list.If the list. If theThe list wasn't just on a bathroom wall.Oh, the list itself was not on the internet, but was indeed on a pub's bathroom wall.
01:35:51I see what you're saying.I could take a piss to that.So next week, we're discussing, I don't really even know what the movie's about.It's about God's Egypt.It's about Clash of the Titans movie.Is Moses in that, dude?He's not.No cameo?
01:36:08No cameo.I don't believe so.What about the Bible cinematic universe we're going to set up?Well, there is a hilarious graphics.of everybody looks taller, all the godsare taller, it's really stupid.Oh, I can't wait now. That's really dumb.So until next week, with height differences
01:36:24for no reason, I'm Andrew Jupin.Stephen Sater. Chris Cabin.Eric Cisker. Take it easy.
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