We Hate Movies - S7 Ep287: Episode 287 - Bee Movie

Episode Date: February 7, 2017

On this week's episode, the guys finally get around to tackling the poorly animated, poorly written, poorly acted, Bee Movie! Why have human bee-ings in this movie at all? What's with all the bee-related sexual innuendo? And really, honestly, why was this movie even made? PLUS: Bee puns until the cows come home! Bee Movie stars Jerry Seinfeld, Renée Zellweger, Matthew Broderick, Patrick Warburton, John Goodman, Chris Rock, Kathy Bates, Barry Levinson, Larry King, Ray Liotta, Sting, Oprah Winfrey, Larry Miller, Megan Mullally, and Rip Torn; directed by Steve Hickner & Simon J. Smith.Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is a headgum podcast. Now on today's program, a long promised episode that we finally get to. And man, this movie, Be Weird. It's B-Movie on We Hate Movies. I'm Andrew Jupin. Stephen Sadeh. Chris Cabin. Eric Siska.

And B hate movies. I'm not killing myself. Hello everyone, welcome to we hate movies. Thank you for tuning in as always this week. Like we mentioned at the top, we're talking B-movie. It's from 2007, directed by Steve Hickner and Simon J. Smith. Wait, wait, wait, wait. So, wouldn't we be be peeking about the movie?

What the fuck are you talking about? He's not saying speaking, you're saying beaking. Speaking, not being. No, that one doesn't work. Yeah, I don't know. It's a tough one. Overruled. Don't we deal with all of them?

Isn't that like what the movie does, like fucking everything? Yeah, that's true. Man, this movie, not only does it suck, because it sucks. Don't worry. It sucks. It's also fucking weird and creepy. And it also blows. It does suck. It does indeed blow. As Wayne Campbell might say, it blows chunks, perhaps. I do want to clear the air here because everyone's going to be like, These guys are only doing it because it's an internet sensation. Is it?

Incorrect. In correct. Speaking of Listener Request Month, in November of 2014, I was soliciting Steve Selects for movies. Right. Oh, right. I remember that. This was the animated one. There was one that was the hand that rocks a cradle that was called in. The other one was B movie. Nobody called it. There you go. I saw this movie and it creeped me out. It made my spine tingle. Yeah, my spine was tingling. Can I say this is the first time I saw it? Oh, yeah. Oh, I'd never seen it before. I'd never seen it before. It looks like fucking garbage. I was also a B version.

A virgin? A virgin. A be virgin? No. No. Well, it doesn't work. God damn it. Listen, the thing about it is Well, actually, you don't always have to go be At one point in this movie they say Oh, we're Barry proud of you And I'm like, what? Now it's just bad Valentine's cards.

How is there not a show me the honey? You know? Like, come on. Are you sure they didn't do that? Did you go and take a shit at some point during the movie? Do you know how, do you know Chris Cabin how I am 100% confident that they don't do show be the honey in this in this movie

because I'm not fucking swinging from my bathroom ceiling okay good point but it would have been sweet if they did oh there you go man now we're just expanding the bee pun

so in two when did Seinfeld then 99 98 so Seinfeld like kind of went and it ended it ended right around when that Green Day song came out yes

remember that song that was like good riddins yes good riddens yes Because I remember they were playing that over Seinfeld, and I was like, what? They did it on the clip show. The hour-long clip show, and they're all, like, taken boughs. That always kind of makes me Misty, man. Oh, I was just going to, if no one else was going to say it, man, I've fucking cried during that before.

You're ridiculous. Not like crying, like, watching dogs get kicked, but, like, you know, just like, at that Green Day song playing, and let me tell you, before every show, fucking sporting event, whatever the hell else dead person montage ruined that song. I did kind of like that. that Green Day song. I did. But I just thought that was disgusting. It was really cheap. I mean,

just like dogs getting kicked, I thought it was disgusting. On the same level, but sure. And at this point, I just, I only think of like, I can't think of the good times

because I just think about Steve Bannon counting his money. Oh, that's true. Yeah, that does sour that show. Yeah, like just a tad,

but it doesn't stop me from watching it. Oh, yeah. I mean, you're still doing it, but like, there's other ways to fight Nazis. So So Seinfeld went away

And like He kind of had this air of mystery For a couple of years Right I mean Like nobody knew what his new He didn't come back with a new show He wouldn't like pop on anything He didn't get star in anything

They latched on to his girlfriend though didn't they When he had a girl When he had a consistent girlfriend It like took over all the fucking gossip bullshit Well she was like 19 years older So it was the direct opposite of the TV show where the women were so forgettable they couldn't be mentioned in more than

one episode. I think you can count on one hand the amount of women that made it more than one episode with him. Yeah. It's tough. Oh, Jerry Seinfeld is a new project, Jerry Seinfeld, new project, new project, new project, Terry Seinfeld, and it's a movie about a bee that wants to have sex with

a lady. This? This was it. Yeah, this was it. This was the one. But the only thing before that, though, wasn't there the, I'm telling you for the last time? Was that the comedy special? And that was before this, though. And that comedian documentary that he made. Oh, and then comedian.

Oh, that's right. And comedian, I thought, was like, fine. I mean, it's one of those things. It's kind of like that movie, The Aristocrats. Like, you can kind of just watch it once. And you can live your whole life and get everything about it. Yeah, and then it's, you'll go to your grave, never watching it a second time, which is totally fine. That's the way comedian was.

I saw it in theaters. It's fine. That's the end of it. And then, yeah, I'm telling you for the last time, which was, like, good enough. But, like, no Frank Oz. No, like, James Brooks, maybe. What the hell are you talking about? Like for what a project, if you're fucking Jerry Seinfeld and you're looking for your first fucking project out of the gate, a real movie with a real big comedy.

Alexander Payne at the time. Well, because he's not a real actor. He's even bad at this. But somebody's got to, I mean, like somebody's got to put him in something. I mean, if What's his face could get a good performance out of Matthew Lillard, like maybe. Alexander Payne. Yeah, yeah. But like, oh no, my dad is dying.

Oh my God. My wife's cheating on me. my kids hate me? Like what else could what situations could he find himself in? I'm Hawaiian royalty.

I'm looking at Hawaii now. What's the deal with my Hawaiian heritage? Why is my brother Bob Bridges? I'm walking around with Bruce Dern. Man, that's the movie

I want to star and it's just called Walking Around with Bruce Dern. Fuck yeah. You want to get lunch? Hey, you want to get lunch? Yeah, we better walk there. though. Yeah.

But then we're going to have a good sit. Oh, man. We're going to eat our sandwiches. We're not going to rush it. So, I mean, like, at this point, ants had come out and bugs life. So we were, we all thought we were done with animated

bug movie. Yeah, we were up to our tits in animated bug movies. Steve, they were bugging me. Oh, right. There you go. Bugging out. That Jerry Seinfeld bugging out. Why not?

Yeah. Oh, yeah, he could be. I was actually thinking of the Spike Lee character bugging out. Does anyone remember? the Jean Leguizamo. I don't know I gave up the French pronunciation of the Jean Leguizamo

a sketch show that was on Fox for like 19 seconds. Oh, wait, is it his commercial? No, it's called House of Buggin. Yes. From the Lord. Early to mid-90s. Yeah, man. Oh, man. You better believe he had a lot of wigs on. That is terrifying. You know, that's

the cable company commercial that you're referencing? That's what House of Buggin was. Yeah, you're right, Eric. Spit gargle. growl. It's just not good. Or the pest on loop. Oh, yikes. The pest on loop. Mama, that's a movie. So what's not a movie is B movie. It's, yeah, it is B airily a movie. You know, everyone's doing human movies. We'll do B movies. Yes. Well, apparently, as the rumor goes, um, Steven Spielberg was like talking with Seinfeld and Seinfeld jokingly was like,

making up this idea for a movie and Spielberg was like no it's a good idea yeah that's why dreamworks is putting this movie out yeah because they're buddies I guess like Spielberg learn how to take a joke age old advice never listen to Stephen Spielberg it's unbelievable he was going to be the villain and minority report I guess is that speaking of dream work even the max font side up part I would like that they have a special B movie logo because it's This movie is going to be such a hit. Oh, man. There's going to be 70 movies.

Oh, yeah, dude. It's going to be a box set. It's Shrek all over. Mm-hmm. Well, even... Man, Shrek is trash. Shrek is total fucking trash. This is like, I mean, and the animation sucks.

This is better. It looks so bad. This is a better movie than any Shrek movie. It is, no, 100%, yes. Yep. Even the first Shrek movie. Yeah. I think you're right.

I think it's, like, I think it's, like, dead even. I feel like people are going to disagree with me, but. You know, you know, the ghost of Chris Farley is happy because finally someone's talking shit about Shrek. Wait, wait. He could be in peace now. That killed him? Like, what happened to him? Chris Farley was Shrek.

He recorded the whole thing. Oh, are you serious? And then Mike Myers is like, yeah. Oh, wow. Yeah, totally. Well, now fucking Mike Myers is going to be mysteriously killed. And Eric Siska is going to jail. No, no, no, no.

I'm going to just slide right into that Shrek revival. Now I'm the voice of an ugly monster There's no Wait Wait no that's true in real life Charming ugly monster What are you making an animated documentary Over there or what

Well it's just like you know Shrek is trash Because not only do we have You got like there's like Shrek Save Christmas Yeah there's a bunch of those shitty Are you serious? Yeah there's a bunch of shitty Like donkeys Halloween Easter special

Are you fucking kidding? No. All right. How many theatrical? Two or three? No, four. Four. Four?

I think four. What the fuck was the fourth one about? I don't even know. I think they have a baby. Somebody's fucking suck. They have a baby. Yeah. It's gnarly, man.

And it's all about the birthing process. The miracle of life. Ogre births. Oh, man. The miracle of Shrek. And they're like wet animal having sex. Right. No, dude, I think what happens?

I think the gag, right? It's kind of like a naked gun gag, right? Because the Shrek's wife gives birth, right? And then what happens is they look at it, and it kind of looks like Shrek, but it also has like a donkey tail. And then donkey just goes, mm, and just like runs out of the hospital, the Shrek Hospital. That's the show that they canceled Shrek Hospital. Oh, no, I lost another one on the table. It's just Shrek killing people.

Oh, the three little pigs have diabetes. It's like house, except for he misdiagnoses everyone. That's a fun show. So B. movie's a movie that we're talking about. Oh, God. So Seinfeld stars as Barry B. Benson, who I guess is, is he supposed to be in those like 20s or what?

Like, what are he's graduating college at the start of the movie? Yes. Yeah. So yeah. Yeah. And the weird thing is this movie does this weird thing where like, it's like, oh, it's funny because bugs live short. live so he's like oh yeah last week you know one day i was in grade school the other day i was

in high school then i took a gap year and now i'm graduating college it's been four days but then the rest of the movie takes place over like six weeks and that's this bee would be dead yeah totally this bee would have expired also this movie oh no i'm dying this movie needs to take a fucking chance and kill some bees how about that it really does well they're talking about death the whole fucking time it's a stop dance stop dancing around There's some black comedy, which I appreciate. You know, there's like some, they're talking about Dead Bees. There's black and yellow comedy.

Oh, bravo. So, uh, he graduates high school. He gets picked up by his buddy Adam, uh, who's played by Matthew Broderick. You know, another noted 20 year old actor. They both had, you know, hot tea. Yep. They're both. Sipped on it.

They're excited. They're, uh, they're going to graduation. And here's my first question. Why do bees have cars? Why do bees have cars? I think at some point they answer that. It's like, well, do you, why do you have cars? Why don't you just walk around?

Why don't you go fuck yourself talking, B? This is a stupid movie. Why do bees have cars? Why do bees drink coffee? Why do bees hang out with comedians in cars getting coffee? It's just all fucking Jerry Seinfeld's like stuff he likes. Yes, exactly. Oh, yeah, stuff I like.

Oh, bees love Superman. Bees love sneakers. There's an old man with a New York Mets hat on. There definitely is. His closet at the beginning, he's got a bunch of sneakers on the floor. Jerry Seinfeld famously has like hundreds and hundreds of pairs of sneakers. But also the weird, it starts early in this movie because they're driving around. Adam's driving him around and he's like, hey, that girl's hot.

And it's like, ew, don't talk about hotness. And then she's his cousin. And it's like, we're all cousins. We're all just going to fuck each other. Isn't it really gross that we brought that up? Five minutes in. In the start of the film, when he's getting ready to go out for the day, he shoves his stinger in a pencil sharpener.

Is that him just, like, pounding the pod? I think so, man. He's got to hide it because he doesn't want to see through his graduation robe. He cannot take a shower to do it. Oh, right. He has to have a machine to do it. Well, like, if your dick was coming out of your ass, you know, like maybe you would have to have a, there'd be, like, more jerk off.

For, like, everything. No, it doesn't, though, because that's what I was saying to Steve before we went on the air. There's actually no, and you would expect this, you'd expect the little, like, stinger to come out of Matthew Broderick's ass, and he'd be like, look at it, grow. Like, there's no erection stinger correlation. Because I feel like that was the one thing they couldn't do, or else this movie was going to get shut down, because it's so close.

But he wants to be bone Renee Zellegger human the whole time. Yeah, what would that entail? I think maybe just, like, flittering your wings. on to a certain piece of rest. Well, we can go to resident bestiality expert, Chris Cab, and he can give us the lowdown. Here's the thing. Tell me how. Is the bumblebee going to be a Jeff Goldblum-esque, like

it has to be big. It can't insert anything. It doesn't. You don't need to insert anything, Chris. You there's other ways to pleasure a woman. Welcome to the last we hit movies. The last episode. Famously canceled. This would be a horrible way to go out.

Also, did any Anybody else think it was kind of interesting that his name is Barry B. Benson and one of Jerry Seinfeld's like first ever things was guesting on Benson? Oh, no, I didn't get that. Yeah, I mean, it's not that interesting. His initials are also B, B, B, B. Oh, all the bees. Oh, wait, did you know that he's a fan of the graduate? Oh, yeah, that's getting there. What a stupid thing in this movie. Fuck with this. So the weird thing is, like, it's a socialist utopia in the beginning, like, basically, like, the ideas you have it, you get, you get a job. You're given a job by the B government.

But the good thing is you get to choose it. Fucking B government. Tell me what to do. Giving me a list of options for employment. That's fucking disgraceful. That goddamn Birney Sanders. Turning this whole place, Socialists. I get all my

news from B-Bart, man. I get it all from B-Bart. Yeah, I like, honey, so fucking what. You know what else I like? I like, Fridem. B-D-D-M. Steve Beaning is good for this country. Steve Pied it.

Oh, you know, I actually, I'm almost positive that Sean Spicer is a bee in a man costume. He definitely, he's a bunch of, he's a bunch of bees. It's an honor to serve at the pressure of the president. He always does look like he's vibrating. Oh, sorry, I did my Sean Spicer impression go too long? It might sound a little something like demons. fucking each other to death at midnight so but uh the idea that's good keep going oh i'm almost there oh pour that honey all over my face this honey's a little too thick can we water down

this yellow honey a little bit you got to eat more asparagus so he he doesn't want to choose a job because he's a free spirit type right like matthew brought her because like oh this is so exciting i can't wait to be whatever and he sees this weird thing called the pollen jocks who are these like tough guy peas? Oh my God, they're so pollinators. Plant come?

It's called pollen. Listen, Eric, one, I almost spit beer everywhere. Two, AKA plant cum. I guess so. Yeah, just bring that out. For all our younger listeners, do that at your earth science class.

Like, oh, Mr. Shoshchewski, do you just mean plant cum or what? I'm trying to simplify it for the kids. Oh, man, now I just fucking failed earth science again. I kept writing plant come on every year. It'd send me to the principal.

It'd be irresponsible to say you should continue listening to this if you are attending any type of educational program. Even an academy. A certificate course to fix TVs, turn this off. Listen, if you're studying for your science regions final, okay,

photosynthesis ain't plant ejaculation. All right? It's not. Yeah. It's sort of it. Yeah, you can't write what your teacher told you. See, the light makes it come. That's all we do anyway, right? Is we just teach towards passing tests anyways?

Can we get into B? You'll get a B. Oh, that's a joke they say. It's like, oh, you did great. You got all B's. And I'd be like, wow, you're a fucking average student. B's? I think that's, yeah.

So you probably have like a G there now. Wait, wait, a G? Like at the bottom Because you take away the A Now tell me where the spot is for that Right below the F Man that's fucking stupid We're doing B movie

Yeah you're right Speaking of fucking stupid We're not sure if we're gonna have another episode We'll figure that out later No this is actually the end We're not doing a list of requests much But Rip Torn B I wanted to talk about B riptorne

Oh my God I'm sleeping in a B ATM vestibule Because I'm so drunk I thought it was my goddamn house My B shot. I look all messed up in it. I go into all sorts of different hives. Is this my hive? It's just my hive?

No. Please don't call the police. Yeah, you can have all my honey. Honey makes it all go away. Don't call the bee police. So he does go like they're like teasing him for somebody because him and speaking of plan come, him and Matthew brought her to make themselves look tougher,

put pollen all over their chest. Yeah. Which I've done that before. It's invixting. So they go up to these ladies, and they're like, yeah, we just pollinate it all this shit. It's pretty cool. One's who they call hot. They're like, oh, they're so hot. Which is amazing because both of the bees look identical. They're bees.

Also, they're bees. And then Broderick is like, but didn't you just say that they were a cousin? He's like, they're distant cousin. Distant enough for fucking. Yeah, I'm already, but I'm already there. In my head, I'm already there, guys. It's over. Oh, my goodness.

The mental arithmetic of you having to see this B-Fuck in your brain is like nothing, right? Like, it's just every single second. Every second of this movie. It's a sexual and awakening film, right? I guess. So it is like the graduate, I guess. In that way. I think what I should start doing is stop teaching the graduate and start teaching B-movie.

So he goes out, he's like, all right, they kind of tease him. They're like, hey, you know, why don't you come with us and we'll show you the ropes, kid. Well, and it's kind of interesting because I thought we were like, setting ourselves up for like a fucking bully pit situation here and it's not that they're just like hey come fly with us and i was like oh what nice these guys are being quite nice also we did forget to mention we got a point out as many celebrity voices as possible the principal at the graduation is none of than the great larry miller best budd of jerry seinfeld yep best buds that's a good best bud to have larry miller better than these buds i'll tell you that much all right well you

remember that when you need a fucking kidney i was about to say well we're going to be around longer than Larry Miller. But then I looked around the room and I was like, yeah, no, we're not. We're going to die soon. So he goes and then they find a tennis ball, like a tennis court. And this is when we get into the gigantism fetish that this whole movie's got. Now, Steve, you're talking about this. And like, I've known you for a really long time.

I mean, if it's one thing I know about Steve Sadek and you guys, you guys know this too, no, certainly not. I mean, look at him. No, but that's his fetish. Yeah. It's not my... You're the one that's noticed this

about the movie. That's what I'm getting to. Steve knows a lot of weird sex stuff. Sure. He's into a lot of weird shit. No, no, this is... Wait, wait, wait, wait.

Now we're going off off. But I'm just, I'm curious. Now this is a witch hunt. But so, Steve... I didn't know it's going to... So, so we're saying, like, you know, we're getting to this gigantism fetish. And I understand, like, in the world of the movie,

what you're talking about. But if I were to be like, say, Steve say that, and I was trying to practice a gigantism, and fetish. What does that entail? I think it's all just like you just read stories and jerk off. It's like, oh my God, it's a big woman. Oh, it's not like anything

you could like roll play. Or just like look at our crumb cartoons. I mean, yes. You could probably roll play like whatever, but I mean, like stilts. I mean, like eventually we're going to get to mech suits and that's what, like the first mex suit ever built is going to get a giant woman

to step on some dudes nuts. It's going to be like, we're going to fight the robots, first this one's gonna go that's the way it is with all technology man we built it it's like here's the thing it's like three questions question the first we built it yeah okay step two does it like shock you

when you touch it no okay step three can I fuck it when can I fuck it when can I make it help me fuck look I just want a hand job this time that's all I need if Chris we're recording right now

I can't do that right now That's a me ex-suit. This is Howard Stern. But no, what I'm saying is, so this movie was like, it was like, Jerry Seinfeld is a big. Cute movie, right? That's totally fun. Sure.

It's him, you know, he's got to save the hive from the other hive or whatever else has to happen. But then someone in the writer's room was like, but what if there was a huge woman that could crush him like a bug? I just, could that happen?

Can I draw her? Let me tell you, they drew this. Hold it back, Donald. Don't let anyone know. So they want a love interest. Why not just have it be a B? A B would be a great idea. She's a girl because there's a bow in her hair.

That would be totally a girl B. Megal Malalli's in this movie for a second. You make her the girl be. A beetle. You didn't even use a beetle. That's fine too because we do get into that too. We're also talking about interspecial insect sex. Yes.

Yeah, a lot of it. But I think Andrew's about to say how sexy this feeling is. They draw. You know what? You want to, you finish your sentence. Listen, because I'm talking sexy cartoons first. Okay, sure, sure. They draw this Renee Zellweger, like, hey, look out.

Look, this is a sexy cartoon. Now, I've known Andrew for a long time, and I've known it for, you know, everyone, anyone you meet on the street will let you know that Andrew jerks off to cartoons. Oh, sure. Well, here's what I. You bet you're bippy. Well, here's what I'm mystified by, because I think this is just like two steps up from the fucking dire straits video.

you are absolutely right the money for nothing yes you jerk off to that oh come on who here in this room hasn't pleasure themselves to the money for nothing video geez you're down to some dire straits if you're jerking off to that video to be fair I only jerk off to the video

within the video listen it's 2004 the internet's out in the dorm room I'm hard up for material what do I have in my Kazah download folder bunch of music music vids. All I have is UHF.

I'll have to use that part where they do they make one of it. I want my MTV, man. Oof, doctor. Yeah,

but like, so they're at the tennis courts and they all like are, they're flocking to the tennis balls because I think that they're flowers. They're yellow. It's a bee thing.

And then so like Jerry Seinfeld B, Barry Benson gets stuck on one and he gets stuck in a, he gets stuck in a volley between Renee Zellweger and her husband putty. But there's also like a Velcro fetish thing before that?

Why is that a fetish? First of all, everything's a fetish. The, like, touching it is like, oh, that's so good. Ooh, that's so good. And then, like, Barry does it. The texture is important. And Barry does it, and that's what gets him almost killed. And what if, um, just an idea for the story, just for the story for the kids movie,

I mean, what if he gets hit by a tennis ball and it's just, he's almost crushed by here? See, that I can see. People love getting hit in the nuts. You're in constant peril. Constant peril. I understand a fetish being constant peril, but being, being crushed by things seems a little weird.

But at least having your nuts crushed, man, that's a thing. Or like watching gerbils get stoned. That's a thing. We're going to have more. If anyone's still listening, my mom, by the way. Listen, tune into our new podcast. That's a thing.

Beyond the Patreon wall. So he winds up escaping this tennis ball, but it starts to rain. He winds up going to Renézel Wigger's house. He's almost killed by Patrick Warburton, who's her boyfriend. Boyfriend, not husband yet. Oh, is that right? I think they might be kind of betroth. Yeah, they're getting there.

He's all talking about it. She also brags about being unemployed all the time. Now, this is what I wanted to get into. Can we talk about their financial situation for a second? So basically what happens is... They live in New York City. They live pretty much in the exact neighborhood that's... Seinfeld takes place, which is kind of funny.

They're multi-millionaires. Upper West side, but they live like on the park. People on Seinfeld didn't live on the park. These people are right on the park. This is where no one can live. So this is seven figures, not six. This is where no regular human being can live. Right.

But so, I think that's the one time it definitely doesn't work. Human being. I kind of liked it the best, though. And she's a florist? Yeah, she runs a flower shop. She owns a flower shop, to be fair. She owns one. She doesn't own a chain of them.

She owns an office. operates a flower shop and he's boastfully unemployed but she pays a lease or something yeah yeah you know she doesn't own the space sure but like again to go back to it she doesn't own a chain of yeah and that's what would be required for this apartment i mean it's in they live right on it's like central park west what are you talking about and later they're romantically hanging out on terrace as well like what is going on this thing's gorgeous fucking dana barrett's apartment another fucking impossible apartment in movie history yeah a cellist okay at that place, I think.

At least that was the 80s. Yes, before. This is 2007, my God. I mean, the Koch brothers put money into the Lincoln Center. Which they should have never accepted. That's fucking criminal. That's true. That's a different podcast.

Barry almost gets crushed by her boyfriend. Then he gets saved by her and her big, delicate hands. Oh, can you just be careful? so she saves him he's like well i got and then like he falls in right his heart is a flutter he's like he's like well i got to say something she's so beautiful oh my god this this big human lady is so beautiful and this is the most tense part of the movie for me because i was like all right here it is jupin if any point in this movie we're going to have a bee boner joke it's coming right here when he realizes how to fall in love but thankfully who you skirt right under that radar with

See, I thought it was going to happen when she gives him a crumb. Oh, because he tastes, he tastes like, it's like a Drake's coffee cake. They have a thing at the end of the aisle. So he does start talking to her. She thinks she's crazy. And, like, there's some stupid line where it's like, the number one rule of bees is we don't talk to humans. Sure. That's the number one rule?

The first rule of bee club. You don't talk about it. So, yeah, so they have like their first date on her, you know, Upper West Side Terrace looking over the park and she's like really okay with it instantly and then like she offers him a cup of coffee this bee is drinking coffee and he's all like well I don't want to put you out but maybe you'll put it out I love coffee why I'm a bee it makes no sense let's go to monks it's pretty bitter there's this one guy in the writing room writing this story and then everyone else is like what about the cute bee stuff because every five minutes somebody brings back

the cute they're like why don't we why doesn't they go back to the hide This movie swings between, like, kid-friendly and Ralph Bakshi. I mean, it'll make your fucking head spin, man. Because he's like, well, I got to go. I got to go back to the hive. And then they start, like, talking about, like, uh, uh, uh, Broderick's like, like, you and your human girlfriend. Oh, my God, interlober.

Oh, my God. Do you like the, do you like the spiders? Do you like, do you like that thing? Oh, right. Oh, that's gross. Like the spiders, like the hottest type of insect. and Barry B. Benson's like, it doesn't do it for me. And the face.

I don't like their face. I don't mention like, oh, like the last thing you could do you should do is take a wasp home to your parents, they'll kill you. We're also doing Jewish stuff because we say we're Bish. We're Bish, which sure.

If you really have to, if you really require this, fine. That's when Steve Bannon turned this movie off. He was like, you, Jared Kushner. We're not watching this. I'm out. We're going to screen Finding Dory at the White House. What do you

think that was about? Was anyone invited? Was that just that big fucking orange baby watching that movie? Apparently there were kids there. Yeah, like the family of staffers. Yeah. Oh, I bet the pences were there. What a fun party. It's one of them

fucking families that refuse all toppings on a pizza. Stop it. They can go through a whole sleeve of saltines. You know what? I just have a note. I'm sorry. I'm just imagining a party where Mike Pence is there.

Like, he's in the corner by himself. Like, you're doing your mingling. He'd come over. You're like, hey, Mikey, how many good times? So you dropped that cracker before you. You want to have a funeral for it? Because I got a kit. A little kid of a tiny funeral kit.

I bring around my little cracker coffins. It's in case anybody drops snacks at a part. I have one for, I have one for in sex, too. I'm sorry, Andrew, you had a note. I was just going to, I mean, it's just like nothing. But if you had a, if you had a gift made of this episode, it's a fucking train falling off its rails. But no, I had a lot.

And I didn't, I don't remember where this is from, but I remember being what, like, what the fuck? I just wrote drag queen joke. Oh, yeah. There was one. Oh, no, that's so that's coming up. Okay, I know. Sorry, I'm not, I'm not trying to push us ahead. No, no, that's fine.

On their second date, which is definitely a date, they're, like, doing like a Woody Allen through a grocery store kind of a thing. Yeah, oh, you're right. Because they're just talking, you know, he's just like, he's, like, flirting with her in the grocery store and she's being gigantic. Towering over me. Do you think this is a thing where, like, Seinfeld, like, always wished he could make, like, buy it cereal. Like a, yeah, like a, like, take, like, take his, like, neurotic writing. Sure. Put it into a screenplay and make, like, an Annie Hall thing.

But it's like, this is the best we can do is goddamn animated B cartoons. That's the thing. Like, just make that movie, Jerry. It would have been terrible. You make it for $2 million would you have. Like, it's have it make it you, Brad Garrett and some lady. You couldn't have been any worse than, what is it, the thing that Larry David directed in the 90s, fucking sour grapes with Stephen Weber?

Just do that. Like, you can't whiff as hard. as David did. And you know what, man, if that movie's fucking sucked a dog's ass, you know what, you're still a goddamn billionaire. Exactly. Don't make me suffer through this B movie. But they come upon the honey aisle

and he's like all freaked out about it. I was like, you're stealing my honey? Oh, it's like the rape of your rope, but he's fucking freaking out over this shit. This is when this movie starts to dance around the Holocaust quite a bit. Yeah, tap dance around the Holocaust. He follows, he goes to

a honey farm or whatever, through a series of bee misadventure. He has to face off against the crazy grocer. Yeah, that's... Dude, and that thing... Listen, there's... Also, there's a Rayliota bottle of honey. Yeah, Rayleota, honey, right?

There's a thing where it's like, like, in this world, it's Renee Zellweger and this fucking, this grocery clerk, and later in the movie, Patrick Warburton, and then later in the movie, the entire country, uh, everybody is way too quick to accept talking bees. Sure, absolutely.

Like, this, this grocer is just, like, I knew you were talking B. And he, like, takes a thumbtack and he starts sword fighting with Barry B. Benson. Nobody's pissing their pants. Nobody's, like, talking in fucking times. I actually don't. I mean, would you piss your pants, Chris? If I started, like, if I just was, like, hanging out and I saw a bee.

That's a fetish. That is definitely a fetish. That's a thing. Um, uh, thank you for coming to my house prostitute. By the way, oh, no, I think I see a talking B. Oh, no. Does that do anything for you? That B is luxuriously.

all over my bed have more water oh that bee's talking drink more water oh no there's a talking bee take this asparagus and water shake I made you know they can't fly if you put water on them oh you're not going anywhere be you want to squat over him

yeah let's just say that's water so double filtered but yeah no but Renee Zellberger stabs herself in the hand when she finds out oh right I think I'm dreaming she does this fucking weird club shit.

And Barry B. Benson. And Barry B. Benson is just like, yeah, no, I'm a B. Not like, don't stop yourself in the hand. Welcome to B Club. But they cut out the whole. Welcome to B. Club. Oh, my God. This would be a totally great fight club moment. Robert B. Paul said it was a B. Look at that B with man boobs.

Let's blow up the credit card companies. Yes. Where is my hive? You met me at a very weird time in my life Because I'm a bee I'm a talking bee So we wind up going to This is when we see this

A honey farm And there are rows upon rows upon rows Of like work camps Yeah It's all like drab and like wooden It's not the natural hive There's no beds or anything Seinfeld goes in and they're like

He's like why are you here He's like oh we have our queen here And he's like, that's not a queen. That's a drag queen. Oh, right. That's what it is. It was an imposter. It was a man bee dressed up like a woman.

And what's amazing is that? And they say drag queen. First of all, I want that movie. I want whatever that bee struggle was, like being in the bee propaganda department. Better movie. Here's the most ridiculous part of that whole gag is when they look at the picture of the queen bee and it's the drag queen. You look at this thing and it's a bee. like in a dress and it's fat

but then it also has like a five o'clock shadow that bee doesn't have a beard man it's just whatever that's just stupid that's just really fucking stupid then they get gasped over and over they sure do

and you know that's it's a thing that's something we've already established their beeish precisely and you can see this coming from a mile away to your you picture the theaters filled with families, right, who are like, we got little kids,

we're also huge fans of Seinfeld, let's go see this movie, and like bees are getting gassed in a camp, and just slightly those parents' heads like start to crook a little bit. They're just looking at the screen, like, wait, wait a second. They've had a cocktiver for some time now.

Thank you, Chris. Well, they've been getting a whiff of something, but then that gas hits, and that head just starts tilting, like, should we get out of here? This movie has a hidden agenda. I don't appreciate it. No, no, I love it, actually.

I love every delicious second of this agenda. Bravo. I'm just saying... Bravo! I wish it worked. I wish the bees got gassed. I mean, you know, the question is, is it really okay?

Should we be punching beekeepers or not guys? You know what I mean? Like, that's... Listen, we hate movies approved. It's okay to punch a beeke. It's definitely okay to punch a guy. So whatever. Then he decides to...

sue the human. This movie kind of functions like a dream. Like, you don't know what I mean? You're doing one thing. Which is why it needs the fight club ending. Exactly. You're doing one thing and then you're doing another like really quickly and then you're doing another thing really quickly. What also, we skipped it on his way to the farm.

Oh, right. He's like, he's like hitchhiking by like going on windshields and whatnot and he meets Chris Rock mosquito and he's just calling a moose blood because Chris Rock's like, I'm going to Alaska because there's moose up there and that moose blood will get you fucked up six

ways from Sunday. And he's talking about like how all mosquito women always want to trade up. They want to have sex with grasshoppers and whatever else. And like was... Which is insane. It's like just really weird. Like what's, let's not talk about sex at all. This is what's weird though, is that stuff that he's

doing. Because again, this is like you get comedians in a room and it's the thing where like a comedian's just doing a veiled bit. Yes. But this is, I mean, this movie's 2007. This is Chris Rock doing a bit from, like, the late 90s. Like, you watch some of those early Chris Rock specials, and, like, a lot of it is still amazing, but there's a couple of things in there where you're like, ah, yeah, blah, you know,

and that's, like, that's, like, reminded me of those things more than, like, other Chris Rock bits, and I'm just like, come on, moose blood, it's 2007. Just fine. Can we get on with this? So, anyway, so, yeah, he's speaking of getting on with it, he's suing the bee company. Well, no, he's a honey company. Well, yeah, he's the human race. Oh, human race.

Yeah, it goes from. the graduate to judgment at Nuremberg. I'm suing you because you won't have sex with me. They definitely do a graduate thing where he's laying in a pool of honey. Yeah. They do, they mirror the hole. You know, Benjamin falls in the water. His father does like the plastics type speed.

Yes, you're, yeah. With honey. But the weird thing is he goes into a fantasy where, and it's Renee Zellweger being gigantic. and like they're like at a picnic in a park and they're like they're being very romantic together wouldn't it make sense if it was your fantasy that she's the same but no but then I don't remember that no she gets to do a

plane she gets to do a little biplane to like fly around with that yeah and it's colored like a bee but yes to your point if your fantasy wouldn't you be like oh finally we can be we can be together she shrinks down though by the way she's a bee You can't have a giant bee

That's fucking terrifying She's a bee and he's a bee And that's the fantasy No no but it's like Oh if she turned into a bee Oh man It would be like the end of Shrek actually Oh yeah

Oh that was a weird turn for Shrek Yeah wait in the end of Shrek The human turns into a monster Yes she does Yes a beautiful monster Eric Yeah okay Shrek And then she stays a monster For the next five films

Yes It's the next three films And multiple holidays And they're also, no, they're putting out another one soon. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, feature film, are we talking ABC family fuck face? Feature. Come on. Family fuck face.

There's only been three of those. ABC family's now called free form. Pardon, it's a free form fuck face. They change the name. They chance it, yeah. Oh, man. So now they could have, like, more like, like, kind of like hard hitting shows. Well, every time they had a show about a lesbian with a lesbian, they'd be like, for fucking ABC family, there's

lesbians and like you know we'll just call it free form so you could shut the fuck up it's fucking free form now I can't say shit about it exactly I still hate lesbians though exactly darn tootin country's going in the wrong direction also though there's thank you there's definitely uh there's definitely a puss and boots cartoon show that Chelsea and I looked at that one day one day and that there's it's like fucking five seasons deep sure yes I don't know I went so high that that's that's and they're bringing it back because they're going to do more of it. There was also a Puss and Boots feature, right? There was. Oh, yes. This franchise is a fucking cancer.

And now John Goodman, man. Jesus Christ. We go to the trial, I guess, like, and it's really, like, this movie is a bit fantastical. Can we talk about B. Larry King a little bit? Sure. Where it really, like, turns in on itself and, like, Barry B. Benson is on B. King. They do a brief interview, and then he's like, you know, there's a Larry King in the human world.

too and Larry King's like oh, B Larry King is like oh it's a common name and he's like no he looks like you he's hunched over he's got glasses and I'm like man I am laughing my tits off I can't even believe it and he's Bish like you oh right that was where the Bish comes in you could be on our new show with B Larry King

and B Jesse Ventura oh yeah Jesse the B Ventura Jesse the B Ventura is the one that's he's picking apart all those B conspiracies I'm a beerist B-list. Believing in free

Free bees. Who's the other person on there? Yep, the one hive government doesn't want you to know this stuff. They're fluorididing the honey. The humans have it all. The humans are taking it. There's the fluoride in the honey.

I support Barry Benson. I support him and his cause. I was once the governor of Bein-a-Soda. Figure that shit out. I think that WikiB leaks is doing a very good job. I think that that man, Julian B. Sange, is a real American. You have to get the B-truth out there. And you have to make sure everybody sees it.

I know my friend Bernie Sanders would definitely agree with me on this point. Yop, and when those two honeycombs came down, there was something fishy going on. The hive doesn't want you to know about. And there's where the angry tweet comes. But I definitely believe in Begazi. Be gossie. But her bee males.

Oh, fuck my face. He goes to war with the human race. He's got this trial. And he's representing the bees. At what point do we, are we supposed to believe, by the way? Beelie. Oh, pardon me. also how was 2007 so like Justin Beaver was like four yeah they can't make those jokes it

you can't though no we're doing we're doing sting jokes and sting looks like shit in this and so well it's not it's not sting's fault what with it being a cartoon but that's what's he's saying he's just animated like shit no that's he looked i mean it looks as bad as food fight it looks it looks it looks really bad sexual thrills sting there is a scene in this movie where sting is doing tantric he's levitating. That's true. Yeah, they catch him right before he's about

to pound it for four days. That's the fucking power of the boner, dude. The weird thing is like the trial such as it is and John Goodman is playing the opposition lawyer and Oprah Winfrey is playing

the judge, by the way. She is and also why is Barry B. Benson a qualified attorney? Great question. It's him and Matthew Broderick who is just working at the fucking honey factory.

Sure. You know what, Hey, man. He's got glasses, though. Every bee can defend himself, man. But like, why couldn't you get, like, B. Roy Cohn? Like, B. Johnny Cochran. Yeah, Beanie Cochran. Oh, B. Robert Shapiro?

Yeah, totally. Bisha Wallace. Yeah. And listen, any famous lawyer turned into a B because this movie's not above making stupid fucking B puns about names. Sure, exactly. But the weird thing is, like, it's the... If the Stinger don't fit, you must have quit. they're doing so like we're talking about like weird appropriation stuff too they're like that's what we do we're bees you can't you can't be called sting you don't know what stinging is and everyone's like what and sting's just like why am i here are you drunk man great question for a lot of people associated with bee movie by the way oh i'm not drunk i just want to get

crushed you know what my favorite soda is Welch's grape. That was actually confusing. I'm sorry. She's so cumbersome. Is it Ernest Borgnain's coffee soda? No, wait, what? You've never had that?

No, I've not. I have. It's all right. It's coffee soda, so it's not good. Well, wait a second. I'm sorry. He's been dead for years. What does Ernest Borgnine have to do with it?

Was it his recipe? Yes, he stumbled around to his house. I had, I had, this years ago and like it had to been at a deli how no it was at uh i think it was at a pizza place really woodstock oh no yeah it's uh i don't know you stock's the only place where you could get this it existed i don't know if it still exists coffee soda exists coffee soda is the manhattan special you'll get that's disgusting this ernest wretched ernest borgnance is much better oh okay good for him i thought about it when i was i had so

downtime on the set of that magic military helicopter show I was on for a while. Airwolf. Airwolf, thank you. The joke would have function better if I remembered the fucking name of the show. You get it though. Fuck it. But so like he's doing, he brings up Ray Leota

who owns a honey company and there's like and we're doing like kind of like really like slick jokes at this point where we're talking about like his Emmy that he won for ER and we're like talking about Ray Leota like that's a thing. So that's who the fuck remember That's that? Well, it was 2007, so maybe you might have.

Oh, because it was 05, would they say that he won the Emmy? Did Smith come out yet? Man, every time you bring it up, I think of the hard days, just moving to New York City. Me and Eric Siska blissfully unemployed, eating bad Chinese food and watching T-vote episodes of Smith, those were hard times. That was a very short-run TV show with Ray Leota as like a criminal. he's like they were like thieves or something and amy smart was farting around on that show i was like oh only a criminal can catch a criminal or some horse shit or what's now and now he's in that show where only a cop can catch a cop oh yeah he's like yeah that's right oh the jlo show jlo's right

and now that's ray leota wearing a raleota mask right because every promo for that made out of porcelain unsettling but leota is the crooked one i think i think jalo is but no she gets in on it Oh, she gets in on it? She gets in on it. Wait, I'm sorry, are you watching shades of blue? I had to review the first season. And would you give it? A bee.

You gave it a bee, motherfucker? I did it. But now I did. So he's like, you know, and like Ray Leota's like, well, somebody fucking kill this bee and we could just go back to our lives, which I totally agree with. It's a good question. My wife actually brought up that point earlier in the film. If Patrick Warburton had been successful at murdering this bee,

sure we're talking about a grim 20 minutes and then you're done well so the trial's going on then we have this really because again like that one writer is out of the movie for a little while and then the writer comes back is like wait why are we in a trial we have to go back to her house because he's got to be a home wrecker she bought some red lights it's this weird thing where it's like this thing where they're having dinner together and it's it's naisal winger and the bee are having dinner together and then patrick Warburton comes in, he's like, what's going on here? What are you guys doing? And you know what? I'm on Warburton's side. Of course I am. My wife's having dinner with a bee or my fiance's have a dinner with a bee? Well, where's, where's the funny farm? That's a great question. That's my question. Where is Chevy Chase on that riding mower with the dog? Rolling that boulder up to drop it down? No, but like seriously, she would be going goodbye. She would be. Yes. She would be committed for sure. It would be like in that swamp thing

when it comes out that that ladies having sex with swamp thing and the tablids get all over it. She is ruined. She is ruined. She loses her job at that mental health facility. You know, that swamp thing, Alan Moore line kind of falls apart

towards that last volume, but I'll tell you what. Swamp thing in space. Yeah. We're going to drain the swamp. I'm going to get that thing. That thing is stealing our women. That thing.

It's going to be on. my wall. You could pee with a boner. Swamping. Saying you can't just fake news. Swamping versus Batman. That's a great way. I swear to you, I'm pretty confident in this.

I've got to look around a little bit. That might be the best comic book I've ever read. There you go. It's fucking awesome. It's really cool. Anyway, B movie, the lawsuit. Now we're in law and B order. No, no.

Now we're in the dinner scene. Oh, right. They have the big domestic dispute. It's like a fucking John Cassavetti's movie. It is. She's like, oh, you're home late. You're home early. you're going to be later, blah, blah, blah.

He's like, I'll hitch up some food. He's like, yeah, you do that. And then, like, they have this weird scene. He's like, are you fucking my wife be? Are you bee fucking my wife? And here's the weird thing. And it got annoying after a while because, like, I like Patrick Warburton. I think he's funny as putty.

Yeah, I know where you're going. I think he's funny as putty. He's a good voice actor. It turned out he was funny as putty. Yeah, Venture Brothers, too, actually. But, like, he is just screaming in this movie. That's the family guy thing. The thing that he was famous for

For family guy And that's all he did for Jesus I fucking hate family guy Were you dancing with Bimor Cassell Nice Casavetti's pull camera Tell me Tell me! Oh, Beater Falk!

Yeah? Excuse me, ma'am. I'm investigating a moiter Down at the other side of the hive. A bunch of bees dropped dead Trying to figure out if it was gas Or something more nefarious. This year is Wings of Desire.

Look, I don't even got to change it. Don't even got to change it. Perfect. Wings of desire, but it's bees instead of angels. You know, listener community,

someone make that poster. It's a bee sitting on a ledge looking down. That's all you got to do. You know, a bee's eye has eight different lenses in it. Mine's got seven. Oh, it's definitely going down that path.

Yeah. I should have 16, but I, yeah. Never might. It's kind of my dead eye. Sorry I took that I took that B tour and got us there

faster. I appreciate it. Can I smoke B cigarettes in here? Is it all right? Could I possibly smoke a B cigarette too? Do you get the B noose? You got the B boxing match coming on. Yeah, definitely looking for a B boxing match. You got maybe the paper, the sports section.

You know, the old... I want to know what happened in the B ball game. You got the old gray the gray insect the Be York Times The gray insect I can't believe you can't smoke On B airplanes anymore

By the way That's infuriating That's just the commie bees The weird thing is Oh the weird thing is It gets really tense Jerry Seinfeld B excuses himself

To use the bathroom Which he does Yeah he makes a bee line for it And then like Puddy goes in after him And like Just to flush him Or he tries to let him on fire

It's a fucking fight There's a really stupid, like, it's clearly like somewhere there was a hit list of like things we need this B to do. We need him to say, we need him to say dog, he does say dog at some point like he makes a against a rap joke but then he's like... Gold

teeth. Yeah, he fucking says that, and this, you can tell we're really just like being crazy. I haven't looked at my notes once. Being crazy. He says that you, I got to drain the old stinger. Ew. That is disgusting. That's a direct. It's not a hard dick, but

But it's a stinger as a penis joke. Yes. Yeah. So if it can pee, it can... Definitely fuck. He also says surfs up, dude. That was on that hit list. It's him on a nail file. Her, him on her giant nail file. Oh, my God. It's something that she uses to make her nails smaller. It's gigantic.

A big, big love. A big big big love. Gigantic. Gigantic. He's surfing on it in the toilet. Oh, in her fucking toilet. Oh, he's surfing in a toilet Because Hank dead dude surfs up

Dude, that is so It's so stupid It's so stupid It's one of those things where it's like stupid Stupid and so fucking Sadden and so fucking Jerry Seinfeld, you're 50 You made a billion dollars

You should never have to save surfs up ever again You know, he's so out of touch And he's trying to be cool So it's just this poochie It is It's a whole This is Pucci the movie. You're totally right.

The whole two minutes that he was in 30 Rock promoting this movie. Oh, right. It's so much better than anything in the movie. Because listen, sometimes it's okay to solely function inside the television realm. That's totally okay. To be the best at something. It's great to be the best. You made the best fucking sitcom of all time.

You did it. You don't have to highlight how mediocre and bad you are and other. Don't Michael Jordan yourself on this one. Oh, yeah. I mean, sports ownership, you can add that to that list. Oh, Jesus Christ, isn't that just the saddest shit? Oh, man, he'll never see a championship with that team. No, I'll just have his gold palaces.

The Hornets. Oh, my God, my favorite team is the Charlotte Hornets. Yeah, he's so great at sports ownership. You fucking Patrick Ewing can never be a head coach. Whatever, whatever. Hey, whatever the fuck ever, man. So fucking B-movie surfs up, dudes. So she winds up breaking up with her boyfriend.

Do they break up? Yeah, she's like, get her. out of here. Oh my God. You tried to kill my B-boyfriend. She's ready. She's looking for it. John Kippman is playing this, like, sleazy lawyer. And he's doing like a say, I say, I'll say, a Southern law. And he's being, it's like,

they actually draw this character very disgustingly. I mean, it's supposed to be a disgusting, like, villain character, but like, his big fat ass is just like hanging out. This suit's like barely fitting anything. And then when he, I mean, we have to talk about Adam's thing. So, At one point, he's shaking a big fash in front of everybody. And he's talking about how volatile bees are and how dangerous they are. Well, that's what he's trying to break down, what you're going to call it?

And this is what he's trying to break down Jerry Seinfeld. No, Jerry Seinfeld. Oh, he wants Barry. Oh, right. He's like trying to get him all excited. He's, you know, he'd break down the witness. And he's like saying all the salacious stuff. I see you got a little girlfriend there.

And he's pointing to Renee Zellwigger and everyone's throwing up. He's like, are you guys like bedbugs together? And I'm like, oh, that's so disgusting. Is it like that movie within a movie and talk to her? And if I'm... What are the rules here? Can I talk to you? I'm a human.

Wait, can only she hear you? Can you draw me a picture how y'all do it? And then if I'm in like the audience of this courtroom, I'm just throwing up. Of course. and just despairing at the state of affairs the world's in. And how is Oprah Winfrey? Without argument, one of the greatest human beings to have ever been put on this earth.

Sitting here reading this script like, yep, this sounds great. I'll do the color purple and B movie. It's because she's billionaire friends with Jerry Seinfeld, right? They probably discussed this on a helicopter somewhere. Oh, yeah, while they were pushing lesser people out. out of the plane. And then what happened was... Pinochet murder death.

Pinochet murder death? They used to like throw people out of helicopter. And then what happened to do? It was crazy. They landed that helicopter and Jerry Seinfeld was like, I just bought it the other day. And her, him and Oprah started laughing and Oprah set it on fire and destroyed it. Definitely. And then they went and got, they got a modest sized lunch. John Goodman was on conference call.

You're not going to use the same helicopter twice, Andrew. No, it's disgusting. I'm not a little ride the bus. Yeah. I'm going to use the same helicopter twice. But so this points Adam, Matthew Broder, to sting him. Right on his big butt. And the idea is like, oh, my God, look, these bees are untrustworthy.

Then Adam goes to the hospital. He's treated at a human hospital. I'm not just dead. At a human hospital. And this is why I thought. They were talking the whole fucking movie about, well, you can't sting someone. You'll die. You're totally right.

And I was like, this is where it happens. They've been talking about death constantly. They've been talking about how you can't sting because you die. Here it is. Here's your beach's moment. Yeah, Matthew Broderick's going to have some weight with this movie. He's going to die. Then he's just hooked up to a honey ivy.

Sure. And they give him like a toothpick type of fucking stinger. Yeah, he's got like a cocktail sword thing. And then fucking John Goodman is voicing a man, a fat man. in a baby walk around Oh right Because it got stung in the butt Oh right

That's gross He's got like a He's got like And then you know what That's a thing Baby finishes Oh well then Then the baby stuff starts

Page 68 of my script Now let's get into the baby Sharpie marker The baby stuff starts A fat man wearing a diaper It's almost like he's a gigantic baby So anyway

The baby could crush me The baby's sitting on my left That's like that awesome game Zombies Aid My Neighbors Where there's the big baby level Yeah dude you gotta shoot bazookas at it That's somebody something Mike Pence has a funeral

Every time you play that game So A lot of more people have been playing that thanks to the proliferation of amelators. My dad keeps on burying my genesis outside. Is 16-bit or 18-bit thing? It's still a baby. It's a pixel baby.

It's true, dad. Thank you. Let's pray to Christ. Remember that time? Speaking of praying to Christ, remember that time... Go Hoosiers. We thought that his one daughter there was a vampire. Who?

Mike Pence took some stupid photo one time and like due to the angle or whatever they were at some fucking he hog golden corral piece of shit restaurant or something She wasn't eating garlic? No no no no

Andrew let me stop you. You're standing a bit like a New York City elite But you can continue Oh pardon me Well so they were fucking They were at the most beautiful beautiful restaurant You're right

Olive Garden Yeah I was gonna say Apologies they were at an old country buffet And what happened was they were in front Their table was in front of a mirror, and they were, at the time, like, they hadn't won this thing yet. And they're like, oh, that guy might be the vice president. Take a photo.

And it's his fucking stupid family. And the way the angle was, you could see, like, Mrs. Pence and fuckface. But then, like, the daughter just wasn't in the reflection. And everybody was like, she's a vampire. I wish. You know what? I would feel better if they were vampires in the White House. I like the idea of a...

That's a choose-your-own adventure. A cartoon series that I'm going to make first kid vampire. That's it. I'm only a-inteching. Well, first kid who's also a vampire. That's it. Here's the thing, though. Copyright, Steven Sannick, just FYI-O-W-A, it's fine.

It's a little too much, maybe. Is the rest of the family vampires? Is it like President of Vampires? Is it like President Frankenstein? They're all monsters. Oh, I like that idea. All right, man. Copyright, Eric, Ziske, Stephen Sadeek.

Wait, so that's a great idea. It's like the monsters, but it's the first family. All right, so we'll get everybody, you know, Chris, you'll get roped into, fine, everyone's going to do it. How did actually, in the spirit of, like, stupid-ass TV specials, how did the Munsters never become the presidential family? I wouldn't say they haven't. I wouldn't say that I don't remember it, but I wouldn't say that they haven't definitively. Yeah, you had Grandpa Al, he'd be like the secretary. He ran for a bunch of stuff. Yeah, I said I voted for him. I don't think that happened.

No, I doubt. I would have voted for Grandpa. Voting in 1955? No, dude, Grandpa Al Lewis was running for, like, mayor in New York City. Oh, really? Yeah. I thought this was a plot line from monsters. No, Grandpa Al, man.

Oh, wow. Because he was, by the way, by the way, ask your grandparents about the monsters. They'll tell you about it. Ask your great grandparents. You know how young these kids are? Hey. Grandpa Al Lewis, man, because he was like born and bred Roosevelt Island. Wow.

And he was running for something. How many people can say that. No, you can't. Unless you're criminally insane. Yes. So there's smoking going on outside. Oh, right. Jerry Seinfeld's like, oh, that's right, smoking.

And he then he's our case. That's what. he brings up in the in the whole thing he i don't know who he puts on the stand like some guy that runs the honey farm and he's talking about the camps that they have and the smoke that they use right this is your nuremberg moment oh yeah big time it's it's really weird and there's this this is this really weird line where uh he's like you're taking our culture and you're making us slaves for the white man and then they cut to the jury box oh right and the jury box is all white except for one african-american guy and the african cartoon goes like he's

slides away from the rest of them right it's really kind of oh no I'm sorry it's the other lawyer it's the John Gooden lawyer it's the defense table yes yeah table and like his his co-counsel is a black guy and he moves down the bench like ew yeah it's really

weird like what are we taught well that's that's a move for Johnny B. Cochran to make but you didn't hire him you didn't Christopher B I don't know B Christopher Darden all right he's played by

If it's B. Larry King. Yeah, it'd be Christopher Dr. B. Sterling K. Brown played him in something. A B. Mark Furman dropped a fake stinger at that house. And had pollen all over it.

Oh, mercy me. So here's the thing. You think the movie should be like over-ish. But I paused Netflix and there's like 30 minutes left. Like, what's going on? I got to correct you, friend, because I made that same pause. We're talking 40 minutes. And I'm like, what the how is there 40 minutes left of this movie? So

he wins the case. They're like, all right, hooray, the bees become complacent, I guess, because they have money now. They don't have to work. They have like all the honey in the world, I guess. All the honey in the world. See, you give them entitlements, man.

And they don't work. These fucking bee handouts. That's true. That's true. And sir, we wouldn't have flowers. no more. Man, and this starts getting really fucking weird. They're trying to took our flowers.

The thing is, the movie should be about global warming because that's something that was going on at the time. I mean, it's still going on, but by the way, global warming sure is. That's a hoax invented by the Chinese. But no, but the bees were disappearing, and we were very worried about that for a little while.

Guys, remember the bees. That's a Chinese hoax. Guys, that's just... China's. China. China. China. Let me tell you something, Chris Cabin.

Jaina is stealing the bees. that's what happens when bees can't pollinate flowers you know flowers start to die and then the earth dies yeah that's a big deal and then they're like oh everyone's upset at Barry Benson they're like oh Barry Benson you and your lazy bee friends

it's like wait what movie am I watching anymore and like he hatched his plan with Renee Zellberg or they have to go to the Rose Bowl tournament of roses this is next to you know it's like a rose parade I don't know I was assuming it had something to do with the Rose Bowl

also. Because I know that the Rose Bowl has a parade in it. With a bunch of flowers. Sure. So, you know, whatever. Whatever. Let's call it that. Maybe they couldn't license the Rose Bowl parade. Maybe that was the problem. They go there and like he's like, let's play Princess and the P.

You be the princess. I'll be the P. Now we're role-playing with animals? Oh, fuck. So whatever. I mean, they steal a bunch of flowers and they go on a plane. And now the plane starts to crash, right?

This, you know what? As it turns out, the third act of B movie, it's just a little too much for me. This is like Air Force One where you're like, oh, man, this movie is so good. But when you rewatch it and you're like, okay, so Harrison Ford kills these terrorists, and that's pretty cool. Uh-huh. And then, oh, wait. No, the other stuff.

45 minutes of him trying to land a plane. All the other stuff. Gary Oldman is dead way too early before the credits roll of that movie. You still have to wait for fucking William H. Macy to bite him. Get off my B. Oh, you know who directed that film, Eric? Wolfgang Biederson. Did someone say Beterson?

But yeah, so the plane, like Jerry Seinfeld, I think has to, I don't even know, he causes these things. He goes into the cockpit and he somehow makes these two pilots, like, knock each other out, like it's a three stooges gag. He talks to them for some reason. He pulls out a box cup. Honestly, I think 2007 is a little too early to make, hey, I've incapacitated the pilots of a ramrodding the cockpit, absolutely. Be or no B. Exactly.

And he gets on the intercom and he's like, hey, René Zellweger, come to the cockpit immediately. And I'm like, first of all, yeah, we're six years off of 9-11. There's some fucking U.S. Marshal on that plane who shoot René Zellweger in the fucking head. you kidding me that would be an ending this woman just gets up and bum rushes the cockpit also this guy just sued humanity for all it was worth sued humanity man this movie's stupid but like he he would be on a list he would definitely be on a no fly list you can't stop a bee from flying it's bees so yes very so she goes in they're like trying to they call up uh matthew broadrick and he's like I'll get all the bees together.

And all these bees, like, create a nest to hold the plane up. They lift the plane up, but then also there's a bunch of bees on the ground, and they're like, this is where you land the plane. Oh, dude, you got to fucking put it in that flower is what's going on. You got to get your pollen guns. Your pollen guns out. It's just suck up all the pollen. Suck it up and spit it out.

Cameo, speaking of too soon, only like eight months after the, a famous comedy club incident. Did that happen in 2007? In 2006, in 2007, Michael Richards is in B movie, like right after the whole thing. And he's very un-Michael Richards, too. I didn't notice him. He's the air traffic controller, and it's very just like, there's, like, no affectation to anything. Like, he's just reading it to be, like, as un-Michael Richards as possible.

Oh, because he was embattled at the time. Well, yeah, because he tried to, he tried to, uh, rip off a bit by what's his name there. Lenny Bruce and it blew up in his face. This isn't funny. Remember that? The David Letterman bit where he's like, Michael Richards is talking and everyone starts laughing.

And Seinfeld's next is like, Why are you laughing? This isn't funny. That was awful. That's the most cringiest video you could ever. I gotta look this up. Dude, it's horrible because what happened was like Seinfeld was like guested to be on Letterman. Yeah.

Or scheduled to guest on Letterman, I should say. And so like the Michael Richards thing, it just happened. So in comes Michael Richards, like, live via satellite. And he's, like, making this apology or trying to. And everyone's like, Kramer, do the thing. And they think he's, like, joking around. Well, he says Afro-Americans, which makes people laugh.

They're like, oh, that's kind of funny. And then, like, everyone in the studio audience at the Ed Sullivan Theater itself just starts laughing. And Jerry Seinfeld's like, no, this isn't funny. Hey. And Seinfeld, like, it's Seinfeld trying to be serious, which is kind of funny in its own. He didn't come through a door? If he came through a door, it'd be funny. He's not wearing that jacket.

That's how you set it up. There's a door frame, and the door bursts open, and it's just a screen, and he's live via satellite. But it was just horrible, and then he went into hiding and didn't resurface to curb your enthusiasm. Yeah, it's been a while. But then that turned into a funny bit, though. Yeah, sure.

That worked. But at the time, that was, that's rough video watching. Yeah, it was a bit soon for Michael Richards to reappear. Here's how, here's how. Here's how uncomfortable it was, though. I remember specifically sitting at my desk. I'm eating a Subway sandwich. I put the sandwich down.

I couldn't even eat while watching. I was like, I better save this until after the videos. What a vivid memory. Yeah, well, you know, I really like Subway. Whatever. The movie is brought to you by Subway. Enter promo code, racism. So all the flowers are dying and whatnot.

Oh, we got, we got it. We land the plane. Everyone's like, yay. and like all the flowers, the bees start fucking him immediately. He's like, listen, this is the last of the flowers on the entire planet. Get fucking!

And all these, then we're just shooting pollen and everybody's and now we have like an eight minute end of this movie. So here comes the sun with Cheryl Crow starts playing. Yes. What was that? That was me expressing my distaste for Beatles covers. Oh, I thought that was

the listener. I was about to chastise the listener Just me blowing raspberries So the end of this movie is Not only does Jerry Seinfeld B turn into what he always wanted to be Which is one of the pollen guys A real boy

He also runs a law firm With Chris Rock in the back of Renee Zellweger's flower shop And here's the thing Chris Rock has the line Where like first of all They're taking a case of a cow For some reason Because she's like, oh, you know, they're talking, you know, they're stealing my milk.

I feel like a piece of me. And I'm like, don't make me think about how cows get slaughtered. First of all, I don't care. Show me as many videos as one. I'm still getting a fucking hamburger. Second, it's definitely, he's got the line where he's like, he's like, oh, well, I've always been a blood-sucking parasite. Now I have a briefcase. And I'm like, lawyer jokes.

Beep, beep, beep, beep. Bebe, be, be. It's like her flower shop's back in business. She has to shudder it, by the way, because there's no more flowers. Her gigantic flower shop, it's out of business. But now, man, nothing gets me going like failed enterprises. But now her business is getting bigger and bigger. Man, this screenwriter is a real pervert.

She's going to open another one. Expand. Yeah, so it's like there's a law office in the back. also why does a bee need to hold back off? That's a great question. Just put him off to the side on the counter. And I'll fit the cow. Also just either make him a lawyer or a pollen jock, as they say.

Because at the end of the movie, like, he's doing this law case and then these pollen jocks are like, hey, five o'clock, we got to go pollinate some stuff. And he's like, talk to you later, Reney Zellwiger. I'm living my dream job or something. It's so, so stupid. Like, just let him be the pollen jock. They give him a cool jacket.

That's the end of the movie. Very Seinfeld loves Cool Jack. He sure's a whole episode about it. But, like, why, why this law firm? Fuck you, stupid movie. Just end. How about you end your movie? And then it just ends.

He's like flying through the city. Doot-do. Beatles covers. Fucking shove him up your ass. Every last one. I am Sam. Soundtracks should have been the fucking death. I am, Sam.

I am out. Yeah. I'm looking at you, Aerosmith, and that fucking come-together cover. Oh, that sucks. Oh, it sucks. I think the vines did something on there. Of course they did. The vines?

What I love about it is everyone's like, oh, you know what sucks about Beatles songs? They're too short. Let's make them long. I know. It's crazy. Yeah, they should all be rush songs. Exactly. Let's make the eight-minute fucking Beatles song.

No, thank you. Oh, Lord. And then, yeah, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's, that's all of it. Did anybody stick around? I was waiting for a stinger scene. Oh, my wife said the same thing. She's going to bed. Because first of all, my wife,

my wife, God bless her, has put up with a lot of like, you're watching what? Okay, we're still married. Uh-huh. But, dude, B-movie. B-movie, she drew the line, and she's like, I'm going to bed.

Good for her. This is a smart lady. Always thought so. She's way smarter than me. But so she goes, let me know if there's a stinger scene. Oh, nice. Now I know why I'm married you, baby.

End of the credits, though, not a stinger scene, but she got this weird shit with Jerry Seinfeld and Matthew Broderick, And they're just singing this, like, duet with each other. Could you see them or are you just... No, no, no, no, no. It's like, the credits are just about over with.

And you're like, all right, this movie's over with. Sure. And then Matthew Brodick and Jerry Seinfeld just starts singing. And it's like a shitty, like, old-timey musical, like, jazz thing kind of thing. They're just like singing some stupid song. And then it stops. And he's like, I'm a B back to work. like it's totally unnecessary

especially if you're not seeing anything maybe he was on the soundtrack I don't even know music inspired by and featured in B movie it's just Cheryl Crow and then that shitty barbershop duet puddle of mud did a song about being a B

Aaron Lewis I'm a B Aaron Lewis did an acoustic number Let the honey hit the floor I'm afraid to be a B this in concert solo yeah man don't worry about it just do me a favor don't worry about it would would anybody recommend B movie this is

I'm I don't know I don't know if I want to predict the answers here but I think no fucking way all right Chris Gavin it's a no I've saw this movie twice it's just it it's really long it should we should be talking about for animated movies you're fine with an hour 20 we're fine with once you crack the 80 minute mark you're golden your kids are already

pissing and shit by the 80 minute mark exactly but I feel like I'm fucking watching the bridge over the river quai this bullshit yeah I'm

I wouldn't recommend it I mean there is a seeing as believing element to it but I don't like that's what I was worried about that's what you were worried I was worried someone

was going to say they recommended it sounds like you're doing this no no no no it's not a recommend okay I was worried other people are going to be like it's seeing as believing No, it's not. I mean, like, you're fine. I mean, the internet will tell you what this movie is.

Just look at some jiffs. Yeah, that's fine. Also, that video that's hilarious is the movie speeds up every time they say B, that's fucking funny. It is really funny, yeah. And it's better than watching B movie. It is better than it. It would have to be. We are launching a B movie Minute by Minute podcast. This was the overview podcast. We're going to go minute by minute. Yeah, we are. That's where I leave the show. Someone else deal with that. That's B-movie from 2007, sort of directed by Steve Hickner and Simon J. Smith. If you want more We Hate Movies, if you want more We Hate Movies, check out WHMpodcast.com. Be sure to check out us and all the great stable of shows over at HeadGum, baby. Like us on Facebook and follow us on Twitter. We are at WHM Podcast and right into the mailbag.

We All Hate Movies at gmail.com. Rate and review the show wherever you get it. It would be really special to us if you did, especially because we're being inundated by people leaving fake reviews saying we're racist and misogynist. That was great. That guy also really liked a Dallas Cowboys podcast, so that's cool. They are indeed America's team. We are getting a little, a little, we're being trumped, I guess.

Oh, yeah. We made fun of Trump, so we got some. I'm sure this episode is going to put that right to bed. We got his little fat boys are coming after us. With other, it's all their racist anime avatars, the whole thing. But you know what? We'll take it. Now, listen, next week, the show will continue.

Next week. Yeah, what's next week, Steve Sadek? Another, just in time for Valentine's Day, we're doing my father the hero. Oh, right. Oh, gross. Oh, getting gross. Yeah, we're continuing a gross month. We're getting gross.

We're going to do a similar movie, Antichrist. So just please bear with us. get out of this gross phase. No, we probably won't. I'll tell you what, though, I'll say it right here. You know, there is a good part of my father, my father, the hero. It's an our father, the hero.

Our father of the hero. Yeah, I'll be thy name. No, no, no, no, no. A good part of my father the hero, of course. Tobo and Ann. That's right. We got Stephen Tobolowski. A friend of the show.

A friend of the show and his beautiful wife, Anne Hearner, in this movie, man. And that's what we're talking about next week. Gerard Depardue. being gross being accused of fucking his daughter played by a what's her face Catherine Hegel

Yeah I almost said that person Everybody hates Well I mean We would have known What you were talking about Yes yes Dominic Strauss Con Oh yeah

Oh that's a bad movie I love that movie Oh well that's a podcast for another day Until next time With my father the hero I'm Andrew Jupin Steven Seda Chris Cabin

Eric Sisca Take it Beasy That was a headgum podcast.