We Hate Movies - S7 Ep307: Episode 307 - Friday the 13th VII: The New Blood: Live in Atlanta: Mozzarella Sticks

Episode Date: June 22, 2017

On this week's special bonus show, it's "Friday the 13th VII: The New Blood" live from Atlanta! Recorded at the Punchline in April of 2017, listen as the gang braves the waves of enticing mozzarella stick odor to talk about the seventh film in the slasher series! Why does Jason have to look like a lizard person in this? Is Terry Kiser sleeping with that disturbed girl's mother? And how did they not bother to recover that dead dad's body? PLUS: Being a professional gator wrangler in Hollywood pays handsomely! "Friday the 13th VII: The New Blood" stars Lar Park-Lincoln, Terry Kiser, John Otrin, Susan Blu, and Kane Hodder as Jason; directed by John Carl Buechler.Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Well, welcome, everyone to a live, a live bonus episode. Are there transformers in this? No. No, this is about a little boy who gets lost at camp and is transformed into an older dead man. Oh, this is about a horror franchise that transforms into an X-Men movie

for kind of a bit. That's right. This is our live episode on Friday the 13th Part 7, call in a new blood, or the new blood. This was recorded live at a terrible comedy club in Atlanta, Georgia. It was fine and it was a good time had by all you were there.

The show was good. The show was good. The show was good. We met a lot of great people in Atlanta love meeting people after shows. Oh, yeah. Yeah, people were great. Club sucked.

Mm-hmm. I still have the mozzarella stink in my fucking t-shirt, man. I personally love mozzarella, but, and I know you do too, listener, because you're listening to, we hate movies right now. But the audio quality is just not up to par

of what we usually release now. This is also why it's a bonus on coming out on a Thursday. That's right. And, you know, it sounds a little more, like our older live episodes, but there are the jokes. They're the jokes.

The jokes are there. And if you don't like it, you could just hit stop at some point and just, you know, hit stop. But give it a shot, guys. Yes, I would ask you to give it a shot, because there is a lot of funny stuff there. I think we're talking about Jason, he's getting executed a little bit. There's some some gator wrangling jokes as well. Yeah, there was a gator wrangler thread throughout the episode. Eric falls down at one point. At one point, you mean the first time I take the stage, I run out there, I smash into a pole, I fall over a couple of chairs.

It's like a fucking Buster Keaton shirt. While holding the device recording this episode. So you hear him eat shit in like nice crisp quality sort of. It's recorded on your cell phone. I mean, this is pretty impressive. I have a newer phone, so it's going to sound good, guys. Don't worry about it. But we just wanted to give you the heads up.

Nobody's got a gun to your head. We want you to enjoy the episode. But here's your warning. It's not our usual, up to our standards, board quality mix that we usually have. And the thing is, you know, I just want to quickly mention something because, you know, we have various social media presences. And we have a Reddit, which is just, we hate movies all one word is the subreddit. And they had been really clamoring for this episode. Yeah.

So I just want to give them a little shout out so that you could go visit that if you choose to. too. A lot of good conversations happening. Yeah, and they were like, we don't care if the audio's crap. Give it to us. Give it to us. So blame Reddit if you don't like that. That is what I'm getting at. Thank you. So now please enjoy We Hate Movies Live in Atlanta

Friday the 13th of The New Blood. Yeah, you know. Hey. Hey. Wow. It's a great. Yeah! Oh my God!

Oh no! physical comedy oh no he's awesome yeah we're good Eric Ciske everybody yeah Atlanta what is happening oh shit all right my name is Andrew Jewman I'm Chris Gavin I'm Steven say that

I'm Eric Falbair and we are we hate movies from New York City how y'all do this evening All right, it smells good in here. Guys all got for dinner. Who's here just to eat? This guy, this one dude is like, I am here every Thursday. What the fuck is this?

Where is this? Monsorella stick bar? Nottesrella stick bar? What a fucking palace that would be. Paradise. Here's a quick question. How many of you guys are familiar with the show we run all the internet? Thank you.

Couple folks, yeah. Did anyone watch the movie we're gonna be talking about tonight in preparation of this? Did anybody pull out their box set? Yeah, somebody pulled out a box set. Oh yeah. Blu-ray or Buzz.

So if anyone is here for the first time, if you're just here from the Mazzarella's Dick Palace, if you don't know what this is, We are a comedy podcast from New York City where we pick a bad movie and kind of make fun of it for a little bit and really sort of take it to task. So that's what's going to happen here tonight. It's going to get a little dirty.

So, you know, be prepared for that. If you're waiting for a diner cheesecake, maybe do that up there. It might get filthy, you guys. Just a little bit. So the film in question, Friday the 13th, 7, colon, the new blood. From 1987, just a grand year. Friday, the 13th, Part 7. The different ding.

The mix-up. Yeah, it is kind of a mix-up. Is this the only time that they've ever, like, taken on a gimmick? Like, it's clearly like... The whole fucking thing is that. Another gimmick. But it's clearly, like, my whole thought process of how this happened was... The thought process.

They had five pages of a script for a Jason movie. Right. That's kind of all you need. And then they had, like, maybe 35 for Carrie 3. Okay. Well, this would still be carrying, it would be two. That movie came out in the 90s where that girl she said to the date with the harpoon. Told you was going to get gross.

It took two minutes. But you know the chuffling thing you can do with the pages? That's what I'm imagining they're doing. Oh, so that would be Friday of the 13th part seven goal on the mix-up. Yes. Ah, I see. So this film, film,

directed by a guy who could also maybe someday assassinate somebody John Carl Bucler don't you hear what John Carl did we saw it coming John Carl Bufa lightning will now strike your body until death you will be hanged also until dead but this is it's such pretentious bullshit in this movie because it's how they're ready I'll tell you how and then we'll have to back up for a second but what It's kind of an arc film, right? It's open. It's a little bit.

What it says in these credits is a Paramount Pictures production of a John Carl Bucler film. Oh, shut up. That's just padding out. This is like a 72-minute movie with like, there's like an opening, like previously done footage. We have to pay much for that. It's really Friday the 13th, six and a half. It really is. Because you get this, it's like 10 minutes of previously on Jason.

And it's like the whole franchise. Well, it's a salty old pirate telling you about it, right? There's a curse in here. It's like a YouTube tribute. There's no like, uh, Evanescence songs like that's like the one thing you need in every YouTube tribute. It's a shit new metal tune over it. They don't get paid for that. That's unfortunate. Oh, Evan essence?

Yeah, they're not getting paid. Let's get dime from YouTube. Jason Borey's curse. Christian Lake's curse. Oh, it's a curse. Ticket buyers curse. Well, the weird thing is he's like under, like, the lake isn't that deep, and he's just in it.

He's, like, six to, the lake does, like, six, eight. It's like, the ending of six, in the start of this, it's like a wily coyote routine. It's like someone got the chain around him, and now he's stuck to this big rock. And then a piano fell on him. And that's what you want to do is drop a piano on this guy. That might stop him.

Is he like just grabbing at people all the time? Why, here's my question. Why don't you see like fish eating him? I was like sort of like nipping at him. That's what we feel like. And then a fisherman catches this fish and they eat the fish. And now the whole town starts getting a little jasony. Oh, it's amazing.

The supernatural evil, I feel like if you ingest that, something that walks off, right? Like, you do not want to eat the supernatural. Yeah, it was cannibalized Jason, I don't think. You get like road rage and shit? It's not extreme. It's not full jace. It's just road rage. What the fuck is this guy doing?

Was that evil fish I ate or am I just angry? Tonight's special is the evil fish. It's done in a lemon butter sauce. It's fairly evil. And we try to make it as well-cooked as possible because you may indeed contract road rage. And with repetitive tomatoes. What?

Oh, yeah. What is repented tomatoes? Oh, that's also a curse. Oh, like just throwing it out? Yes. Oh, that's like restaurant lingo. Oh, I see. Well, we are.

Watch up with those repetitive mozzarella. It's actually kind of important because this we do get... It's kind of important. It's kind of important. It's kind of important. Well, because it's in an alternate reality. Oh, right. Alternate timeline.

Because... Yeah, this is crazy. It gets really funky because it begins with this girl, she has telekinetic powers, she kind of kills her dad. Whoops, right? She really kind of kill her dad. She fucking murders that. And I don't understand.

A lot of the movies, her dealing with the guilt, it, why? This guy was a jerk. Yeah, it all comes around because he's like punching her mother in the face. You're beating your wife and you wear this white cardigan. What you're asking for? You will be hanged until dead anyway. But then it cuts 10 years in the future. So like, the question is, so I'm going to go through a timeline that I found on Wikipedia.

You know Wikipedia, you guys, it gets a little wonky. But it's 100% accurate. percent accurate yes all the time we're banking on this it starts it's a starts with Freddie Krueger's born in 1942 which I didn't know that I'm a boomer quite a millennial buys an expensive coffee I don't think there's no gits a job all I had was this sweater so then a sweater in a dream that Yeah, exactly. You used this all by the bootstraps,

molested kids, and came back as a ghost. That's right. That's a fucking successful man. Exactly. 1946, Jason is born. 1972, Tommy Jarvis, the hero, the last movie, is born. 79 Friday 1, 84 Friday 2. This is where it kind of gets wonky.

Friday's 2 through 4. All took place in 1984. You know what I mean? Everyone was going crazy. Oh, yeah, it was just maddening. You just wanted to murder everybody. Yeah, we saw that movie. So then Friday Part 5 is in an

alternate 1989. Alternate? Because they jump to get him 8.5. Because Tommy Jarvis then grows up. It just, you know, he's like a 20-year-old hot stuff. It's crazy how we're just bending time in this

franchise. And then, like Christopher Nolan shit. 1990, and alternate 1990 Friday 6. So then this movie because it takes place 10 years later, is in alternate 2000. And I guess, like, New Jersey was cursed by a witch that it's like the

1980s forever? Reagan. Like, Brady. The wardrobe at the very least is stuck right there. Yeah. The cars?

The cars is all. It's just odd. But did no one care? The answer is obviously no one care. So wait, this movie's 2000?

Yeah. So part eight is 2001. So Jason went to Manhattan during Highland? Wow, that's what the whole smoke screen was about. That's what we go. You get together, Eric.

That's what it was. It was a government office. Trying to take down Jason. Oh, he went wrong. To break the curse of the 1985 can happen in New Jersey. And then they're free of the timeline. Yeah, exactly. That's the case.

That's why you don't remember anything before 2001. Oh, New Jersey is cursed feathered hair rains forever. forever you're gonna have that tape deck in your trans out for years and Rick Springfield plays but once a year you like cassette tapes you're gonna have nothing but cassette tapes oh you know what stayed that way forever minimum wage Bravo so yes she murders her dad by like he's standing on a dock and she goes out on a boat like I hate my parents and he's like come back I love you all never do it again and then she just she does the thing that you do in all these movies where

you have like telekinesis but we don't know how to broadcast that she just goes and like really hard like she's trying to like take a shit just like and the doc falls down and I guess this dude is presumed dead yeah well the whole time he's doing the you know the domestic abuser like I'm sorry baby you got to come back here baby please I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I still love you, Tina! You got to cover in those babies. The thing is, I mean, the only other way to do telekinesis is this guy. Are you have a button on the side?

Oh, like the Professor X. Yeah, exactly. I'm doing it. I'm doing telekinesis now. Not doing telekinesis, doing telekinesis. So I guess the way that she did it was fun. Yeah, it's a choice, an acting choice. Professor X owns this.

Yes, you're doing a Professor X. You have to pay Patrick Stewart 20 cents to do that. That'll be 45 cents, Tina. So Tina and her mom and Weekend of Bernie's Terry Kaiser. Right, the legend. Speaking of our films. This is pre-Burney, by the way. Oh, really?

Which is why it's pre-Mustache, I think. Must have gotten the job, you think. Oh, yeah. They were like, get me that guy for fighting the 13-7. Hey, he does Deadwell. Which is kind of funny, because he only does dead okay in this movie. He didn't find his instrument yet. You know what I mean?

The instrument was the mustache. I think that's what ties the whole thing ever. He needs to play off with Jonathan Silverman, someone of that caliber. Oh, yeah, you're right. None of the schlubs in this movie. So the psychiatrist is like an evil psychiatrist, I guess. But he's like trying to like, he's a psychiatrist for telekinetics, I guess.

Well, it's kind of like how the Ghostbusters are scientists. Oh, yeah, that's like a Jedi whisperer. Yeah. But she's got like, this is like force powers. Yeah, well, yeah, it's crazy. Maybe Jason was just trying to take her to Supreme Leader Snoke. It's entirely positive.

I just want to talk about Star Wars. That's the original name of this show. But no, she's kind of an ex-man. He's kind of Professor Xavier, and Jason might be Wolverine. Oh, that's why he's just like at the bottom of that lake. It's just always at the bottom of alkaline lake. Yeah.

I mean, it's not that he heals per se. It just kind of keeps going. He doesn't give a shit about physical damage. Can we talk about the physical damage? Like the design of this beast monster in this movie. They're really trying to go for something here. It fails horribly. But it's like all you need is a guy with like a jacket on

and a hockey mask and a machete and that's it. And this shit is like, what do you think about, let's say like his spine and all his ribs are like hanging out of the back. Would that be cool? Would that be worth another $10,000? But he smells, he's never smelled worse. He's never smelled worse that he does in this movie, right? This is the absolute worst. Under a lake, and everyone's only surprised when he comes here

when he gets them, but like, dude, you would smell him a mile away. That's how the town of Crystal Lake should know to lock their door. It's like, uh-oh. Mother, lock the door. I think Jason's out of the water again. I'm gonna vomit on the sidewalk now. Yeah, it would be instant puke.

They should have kept him rotting throughout the series, so that would, you know, when we get up, you know, maybe past eight, he's just a skeleton. Oh, that'd be correct. Like, Jason of the Argonauts. Yeah. Oh, Jason is the Argonauts. That'd be great.

I think it's also it's like smell of a corpse and then like smell of a waterlogged corpse. Right? So it has to escalate. It's a bit of a jump. Plus he's just pissing and shitting under there too, right? Because he has a reanimated corpse,

he'd bell movements? No. Wait, have you seen him eat? They don't show meeting. That's true. Stop off for a burger. Oh, hey, is mozzarella stick palace still open? Oh, my tacos are 20 minutes late.

Well, no, he goes to McDonald's just go like this, because he wants a number one. Which I believe the big man. That is, that's true. So he just goes like this, he can't speak. I believe that's a big man. You fucking know. The number one McDonald's is a big man.

McDonald's, I believe it's a hamburger restaurant. I think. I've never been there myself. I think that. When I go there, I only get a cell. Yeah, right. So, like, the idea is, like, they bring her back to her childhood homes, too, because, like, she only, like, experiences the telecanases through trauma.

So it's like, oh, what's such a dramatic thing? This over-designed house, there's a picture of a fucking rocket ship in it, for no reason. It's like, it's like, it's like feats of modern travel technology. There's like a rocket ship, there's like a Wright brothers plane. There's a picture of an old couple. They, you know, back in the day, used to ride old people. Yeah, you go to the market, you hop on grandma. I don't know why they kept this house in the family.

Yeah. Like, this is the house where dad was murdered by my daughter. Oh, I want to keep him in the family. Oh, and it's also right next to all those other murders. Yeah, just burn it down with insurance. For some reason, people are kind of ignorant on the whole Jason thing. Everyone keeps forgetting. Eventually they find a scrapbook and they're like,

Whoa, what? Jason, what, what, what movie at my name? What's this? Well, that's what's weird about this one, is like you get that pirate narration at the beginning and then nobody mentions his name until like an hour and ten minutes into the movie. She's like, oh, Jason!

It's like, has no one thought about this before? You all live around here. Oh, well, I guess it, man, I keep up thinking it's the 80s, but I guess it's what, 30 years in five. Yeah, it's been a while. That's altered in 2000. Yeah, it's 2000.

And I think they're back to Crystal Lake in this movie, too. What I call it the last one? Forest Green. Forest Green. Yeah. Because they realized they could capitalize off this. Yes, we're out of Jason license plates. Did these characters go to see, like, Fight Club in the theater.

They get to see all the spiky hair that everybody else has and striped shirts. Yeah. But the New Jersey is still stuck. Yeah. Dungaree is a plaid shirt. Wait, but Poppulture continued, so they're getting Pop Delger shipped in. Yes.

We can go see Fight Club in the theater. There's an embargo on, like, new clothing and things. Oh, I see. We hear the new radio heads good out there. Well, Philly Ocean again, I guess. Rewind, flip tape. You know, George Bush's son is actually, the president what the vice president he got all the term what these are conversations

they'll be having yeah but yeah i mean other thing well the other side of this is we're getting ready for a pretty cool birthday party so like all the all the lineup of dead meets in this film are gathering for a surprise birthday party for like a 25 year old and it's like you at some point you reach beyond the age where it's okay to have a surprise birthday party thrown for you. Especially in your 20s. It's like

it's like when you're a little kid and then when you're like 80, it's like let's give you old. You know you cannot give an 80-year-old person a surprise birthday party. Look at a surprise way to the fucking brave. Give the old girl one last surprise. But you know what? Maybe you want to get them killed.

Oh, that's the way to do it. Yeah. You're taking care of one. Come on. Oh, that's why they have this party. Crystal Lake, nobody likes this guy. Oh, yeah, no, it's like, Oh, yeah, no, it's like Mr. Lake. There you go.

The murder capital of the world. But, like, before that, even, like, it's like Nashville. Like, there's all these different storylines going on. Yeah, there's, like, a couple, like, trying to have sex in the middle of the forest.

Yeah, well, you get those in these movies. It's always, like, there's a couple that's always, like, not connected to the actual story. They're just there to fuck, and they get murdered before they can fuck. So that happens. I mean, yeah, I think John Carl Mugler was influenced highly by Robert Alton's Nashville. This Jason movie will be like Robert Alton's Nashville.

You wait and see Paramount Pictures. You wait and see of an artist, God damn it! It's a presentation of his film. It's a fucking film. But the weird thing is like, so, but these two things are just kind of happening next to each other. It's like two movies, it's like two little race cars, says. they're buying for who's gonna win and in the last like four minutes of the movie we kind of intersect but that's pretty much i think jason pulls ahead really really quickly well he's who you're

buying a ticket for not this carry rip-off really that's what you were buying for oh fake carrie's movie is coming out yeah no it's all about tina it doesn't dale earnhart we're talking about race cars so i know why is that the only one you know because it's interesting There's another one. Oh, did he die? No, he's aligning well. It's very successful. Is that, uh, is that, like Jeff's son?

Yep. Yes. Yes, Eric. Watch my race car. Can we tell me, please? Do you know with the mom's hair in this movie? Oh, yeah. What's going on with that?

She should be giving Ted DiBiopi the million dollar belt, right? She should be like in his side lady. It's amazing. She looks like a lion that got electric key to my life. And it's like, like, if everyone else had, like, one hair designer, and then, like, this woman just had to bring someone from old. We don't have enough time for everybody else and you, lady. It's amazing. It's a really good hair.

And she's just kind of put upon, right? She's not too happy to be able to be able to. Well, she wants the best for her daughter. Okay. Even if it is being exploited by this doctor who's just got, like, who's going to live in your house. They live in the house. That's what's amazing. They pull up to this house.

He's there first. What took you so long? This is where we were. Do you think so? I think Terry Kaiser and his mother are fucking full. Is there like a cut sex scene or something? Well, they kept the single ribbon, so it wouldn't be surprised. That's what this movie needs, though.

Like, what a spin. This is what John Carl Buechler was looking for. What's a new take on instead of all these skimpy teens? How about two, like, 65-year-olds, to go and add in a tent. A middle-aged romance. Yeah, a tender kind of thing. Terry Kaiser was just like, yep. What was that boy? It was a...

Yep. It's Terry Kaiser getting excited of a sex in a movie. Oh, I see. All right. He's like, ah, nobody's gonna see this anyway. Let's do it.

Un-Sculated five. Tonight it's Terry Kisser. You put one extra S in that name. Yeah, now he's kissing people. Anyone has ever been like, I want to have sex with Terry Kaiser, but you can't move. Like, yes.

Oh, yes. Do that. Do the thing, Terry. Guys, it be your famous for us. Do the thing. I brought these brown sunglasses. And he laser like a long? Yeah, yeah.

And then maybe if you wanted to be more exciting, you play like calypso music. You just to dance around. Oh, you can only move, Terry with a music song. No, no, Terry, Terry, Terry, go Lynn. Wait, no. Not all the way, Lynn. All the way, Laird. You know what, I could get into this.

I think it's not very good thing. We're thinking the finish right now. Listen, somebody definitely already invented. Hey, Barry, tonight let's do the Bernie. Again? You want me to talk about Medicare for all? No! Wrong Bernie.

The weekend one. Let's have sex. Oh, that's haunting. Let's do it. Gross again. Everybody's coming at the same time. That's the only way it's fair. God damn it.

I am sick and tired of people. The top 1% coming first. Excuse me to be wrong, only I should be... Oh, mercy. Oh, mercy. The new wave. It's a new gay. That's how you expand the base, man.

I don't know what movie this is. Well, it was brought in the 13th. We're all in the house, we're all drinking beer and soda pop. Dude, the amount of soda in this movie is unacceptable. Orange soda. You've got slice, you've got diet slice, which I think is the drink of sacred. One woman prefers mount dude quite nicely and then like one dude's like hey guys how about some beer this is a

fucking kill movie how about some beer and they're all like ewe beer you're all gonna die soon you want that like maybe before you go out yeah we're smoking pot we're this one guy's in a drug addict i guess well i got a real problem yeah yeah no i do it's uh re-for-madness right this guy's guy's got reframedness it's one of those things it's like he doesn't know what happens happens when you smoke weed, so they're like, all right, Devon, and this senior character has smoked some marijuana, so you have to be high on it. And he's like, okay. And he starts like falling around like a drunk cartoon. And then the other beat is you got to look at like his stash bag and it's just like a bunch of rose mares.

You're like, come on, crop department. I definitely know people making Friday the 13-7 know what fucking weed looks like. Maybe he's stupid and he's just smoking rose-bear. We haven't smoked it, maybe you stumble around because your lungs are burning or something. Oh shit, yeah. He's just like burping and smelling like spaghetti sauce? Do you think he got ripped off? That's the thing.

The pusher was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, man. It's cool. You can definitely buy this in the bowling alley bathroom. It's legit sticky shit, man. And so the... Mary Jane, Rose Mary Jane. Oh. How about that?

Yeah. I just thought of that. Oh, wow, and we weren't sitting on that for a while. Is that any improvisation? Yeah, yeah. Rosenen, Jane. What were we saying, Steve? No, we're waiting for Michael,

his car breaks down. It's him and his girlfriend. Right. And, like, he's so lazy. He doesn't know where he's going because it's a surprise part. He's like, ah, let's just camp here. And I'm like, what?

He takes two steps away from a broken metal car. He's like, this'll do. The side of a road, let's put a temp down. I'm an eighth of a mile from the highway. What the hell? And this is why it's... I don't wait till morning anymore, dude. Like, go get help.

And, well, also, they have just passed the sign that does Crystal Lake five miles. Yeah. Lazy fuck. Like, come, do it. Do it. Get there. So he's, like, bitching about this. And this is, like, it's the worst thing when someone's trying to conceal

that a surprise party is happening, and the whole thing's about to go south. And she's just like, no, we really should get to that cabin. And he's like, why? Who gives a shit? We'll get there tomorrow. Let's sleep on the ground! No, you really got it.

You know what, fuck it. It's a surprise party, you idiot. Now it's ruined. Thanks for nothing. And I rented a cabin. It's at Camp Blood. The brochure looked great. You ruined it.

It smells like shit all the time. Gorge, Sarah. And 75% of the lake is swimmable. You don't want to be in the one area where that guy's always grabbing at you, but other than that, it's very swimmable. You know? I feel like that would be a thing, like teenagers at

just a lake it's like you know like the people who like jump off like train trestles into water and stuff like all right man you gotta swim over the grabber and then like one tragic prom night oh no devon gets grabbed and he gets god and they put a little like thing of like swimmies around it like don't don't float over the grass like oh man not the swimmys he's so complacent to just lay in that lay he's just told him chill like what you he would be able to break a chain That's really stupid. Oh, that's right. We should talk about it.

So he gets out because Tina goes to the lake. Oh, right. She gets emotional and, like, I don't know, like breaks his chains. Well, I think it's what she's thinking about her death. Yeah. And how she's murdered. Like, I wish she could come back and, oh, well, there's, you know, Jason's in there. I wish I had killed my father in spectacular fashion.

Yeah, that dude does go out. Because in other times, and it goes up and down throughout the movie. Like, at some point she can kind of, like, make somebody's hair go up. and then other times she's macrapin it iron damn deck yeah it is inconsistent at best not surprisingly she frees him he kills

this guy and his girlfriend and now everybody it feels the birthday boy the birthday boy himself and no one at the party cares like you're at a surprise party for your friend the next day somebody even says like oh you probably got like busted for drunk driving or something

and I'm like wait what yeah he probably got busted for drunk driving you just spend the night in jail And then this other dude's like, look, he can snip out a party from 100 miles away. He will be here. A hundred miles away. It smells like a lot of parts of going on, what with it being a hundred miles. If that was true, if that was his superpower, I would just think he's at a better party. Yeah.

This party fucking sucks. It's all, I think what this girlfriend did was invite a bunch of people from his work who all don't like him or each other. The latter specifically. Yes. There's like a rich girl that wants to have sex with our lead, our sexy lead, Nick. Nick? Nick. He's like a C-grade Christopher Reeve.

Redmond Reeves. Oh yeah. There's a very annoying writer. Oh. He's a... What? All right. Well, he's doing the thing where he's like pitching people on his bad sci-fi ideas.

And his sci-fi ideas are like, are like, are like, All right, how about this shit? It's 30,000 years in the future, and they're aliens. I call it Dianetics. If you give me $10,000, I'll tell you the rest of the story. I used to that book was about volcanoes. It's about aliens that go to volcanoes. Oh, really? Okay.

Because they get like, they like charge their sexual powers in the volcanoes. Yeah. That isn't what I assume it's about it. Yeah, of course. It's like going to Hawaiian, your honeymoon. So it's him, there's a little mousy girl. Of course. You got to have one of those.

And by that, though, well, we meet she has glasses on. Yeah, that's literally all the doing. She's a real hag. She's got glasses on her face. Like, how can you ever have sex with? Somebody has to have sex with the women with glasses. It's such ridiculous already. Your characters be fucking tans the whole time.

the whole time, we gotta give a lot to the fours. The fours, the fives, love for all. That's it, yeah. Okonero one. It's her friend, and they're both vying after the drug addict, and at one point the drug addict comes by, and she's like, I'm gonna go hit on him. And she's like, Lisa, don't.

And she's like, well, we promise to have a good time, so let's keep our pact that I'm gonna fuck your crush. that I'm gonna fuck your crush, bye. This is also, after this best friend is like, and also, you need a lot of makeup work. Yeah. And she's like, you can see this woman's heartbreak.

It's a crippling insult, is what it is. And it's like, this is the friends of this movie. This movie's telling us these are buddies. Nobody likes you. He's like, you fucking ugly bitch, I'm gonna go fuck that you do you like. Deng! You're still my ride, right?

Oh, yeah, the mousy girl definitely is the one with the girl. Uh-huh, absolutely. Are you sure Michael's gonna be okay with this? I wasn't even invited. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's fine. This Trans Am your dad bought you is pretty great. It's the only 2000 Trans Am. That's a legally shipped in New Jersey.

Through the time barricade. So, Tina goes to this party because her and Nick kind of started flirting. Oh, after she embarrassingly drops all over. She's got like a suitcase that unfolds, like opens up, right, which is embarrassing. But all that's in it is underwear. What were you planning for this trip? This trip in where you're getting like mental health help? It's like, well, I'll just pack all this underwear.

Paraded by a lunatic. You know, maybe because she's crazy. Maybe this guy's onto something. I don't like it's a thing like every time she uses her power, she like kind of shits a little or something. Get her backup, man. I don't know. back up man I don't know if they're only intending call for the night I certainly I certainly brought backups to Atlanta you never know what's going to happen you do not want to be on tour and shit your pants no we do not maybe sometimes this show we'll get to it we'll see if there's time yes we'll just see if there's time

we hit lines there's Gigi Allen but the advice are to a surprise party I need to know if it's a surprise party because then I'm just not going to go. I'm going to go to somebody else's surprise party. Why would you just go to a stranger? I mean this is an instant shut down this invitation like no thanks. That's the biggest surprise of all. If you go to a surprise party he's about to really don't know. That's like weird. Well that's like I see that like the lights turn on it's a bunch of strangers they all yell surprise it's like cult of initiation, mass murder orgy like those three not like it's a birthday party that's like way down on the list there are balloons those that kind of

yeah that's not good I'm sure over the course of history there's been balloons at oranges and there's a cake rotting away on the table this fucking prop to party it's probably pretty accurate I think you know Chuck Manson probably has balloons around where's my cake I can't play my original music without my cake. Yeah, well, it wasn't a surprise for the Mayerskins. Oh, that was a long time, I guess. It sounds like the opposite of a ring and run, really.

You wish it was. I wish it would run. But so we get the best two deaths are none of the people at this party. Oh, right, yeah. Oh, right, yeah. So it's another, like, well, you know what, Chris Cabin, take it away? thank you I'll be over here so there's a married couple and they're there the husband is talking about wood uh how much they need wood

that's a thrilling screenplay and uh oh do you think that's a double on time I do that's my case he's like hey honey I can get you some wood she's like no it's fucking cold get the actual wood perfect so he goes off to get some wood he's going to be collecting it all he stacks a bunch of boners on the He was only the one that can't be tripped with his wife and a machete. If I use this lady, I'd be a tad, where his one, it kind of looks like this marriage is having a little strange beginning. Sure. And then it's like, all right, so let's see, we've got some suntan lotion, bud spray.

Is this a machete? What do you need this for? Chopping things. What's up? Shovel and lie? Why do you need all this? This dude is doing it right. So, he goes out, he gets killed by Jason.

What does he get there? Oh, this is great. Jason, like, punches him in the bag, and then snaps his head. Just in case it's gonna be another Jason or something. Well, I better better double tap this. That's an ultra kill. Yeah.

And then the wife is in a sleeping bag, and Jason picks it up and slams it against a tree, a kind of famous scene. And I mean, like, what did you go to? Wow, I just did that. I did not think that was going to work. That's good even for me. Did you guys read on the Tribune the weird shit about that?

What? So this Artur that directed this movie, he came up with the idea for this. At least he claims, and I don't know why he would claim this if it didn't happen. It's like, yeah, this one time I got mad at my sister and thought about doing that tour. What?

And then I made it this movie. I only just thought about it. Yeah. Geez. Fucking thought beliefs. That's pretty odd. Yeah. Yeah, no, it's a weird thing for someone to say.

I think it's on like a DVD commentary or something. You imagine that? Like you're just listening to that shit. And he's like, now this part right here. My sister and I had an argument over a surprise birthday. And I thought about putting her inside a sleeping bag and bashing it against a tree until she was still. And then I wrote it into this film. into the screen.

Oh, if they're Don called Buka, you will be placed in the sleeping bag and hitting it the tree and get a little dad. I don't know. What a sick fart, that's all that's that. It's a weird idea. It gets surprised in Jason Axe, actually. Yeah, the movie really does it too in the middle. Wait, it's been a while.

Is that like a space sleeping bag? Well, no, he's not like a holodeck, and like they're like trying to placate him, so they give him like all these CGI kids to kill. kids to kill and oh i'll do the old kids sitting there are all the thieves all the glory years man remember back in the day you do this all the time Cory Feldman just materializes remember me no that makes our part of the shitty music oh right he's a musician now yeah it's pretty cool oh all right what's it called the Cory Feldman the Falling Angels or something like that yeah if Corey Feldman had a long What is it?

Cory Phillip and the Angels. And the Angels? Do you have their LP? Or did you just see them at the minor league baseball game there? Because it's one or the other. I would buy a ticket for that, right? Oh, hell yeah. Hell yeah.

You know, it's sometimes better than the regular stuff. You just got to get out of there before they start lighting off the fire, or it's. This movie also, speaking with Gore of the Death. It was a heavily edit because they were trying to stop an X rating, I guess. I don't know why. We gotta stop this X! Let it down! But the weird thing is, like, that's the whole point.

Like, that's the whole point. That's what I want to watch. But you're buying the ticket for. No, I'm not. You know. Yeah, this is Ramon's theory. Don't change much. Yeah, there you are.

You know what? It works. It's worked literally six times before this. Don't go change him. I don't need to see his mangled teeth on the side fucking bang and I just need him to kill me we'll get to that so she has words well I guess it's like silent words with some of the people so like she goes into this kitchen and she's like hi I'm the new girls they're all like fuck you weirdo and I was like that's exactly what you don't

accept an invitation to a stranger's party and then this other guy uh the writer goes up and start telling her telling her about a science fiction project which is like a skunk spraying you it's just like a way to like not have sex with somebody Yeah, getting an elevator pitch for a novel you don't want to read it. Yeah. Yeah. I wanted to read that one novel he mentioned later on. What about?

Oh, right. Oh yeah. Like an outer space mummy, yeah. Oh, I guess that's Stargate. No wonder at my own adventure. Yes, exactly. If you want to see what the space mummy does next, turn to page 22. If you'd like to close this forever.

If you want to be entertained, turn on the television. television. I gave up on so many of those books. Yeah, of course. Who could care? You know, it's too much power for me. To wield the past the story. Take my hand on a journey, man. Don't give me choice. Plus, it really weakens the space mummy story, too. It really dilutes it. Yeah. So, at this point, this rich girl is psychotically obsessed with Nick. Nick, by the way, whose only two features are, he's good looking and he's going to night school. That's awesome. You get this dude's bio speaking in elevator pitches, and he's just like, well, I grew up in Pittsburgh. I fell in with a really bad crowd, and now I go to night school.

And I was like, why is the night school matriculation directly connected to the fact that you ran in with a bad crowd? That's not like a prerequisite for going to night school. You can just go to night school. I feel like he's, like, leaving out the Wonderland murders. You know what I mean? Like, it's just, like, I'm chopping over a big thing. I fell in with the wrong crap. We murdered a porn star in all of his friends.

And now they're night school. This is why you do that. You sneak it in, you're like, yeah, I run into a bad crap. And then when you're, you know, you've been going out for, like, a year. And then you're like, she finds out about the murders and shit. And you're like, what, I told you about that. I told you. I fell in with a bad crap.

This is a scene, by the way, where this actor is. failing and skipping stones. And I feel like he was like he lied on his resume. He was like special skills. I can speak Spanish, weight lifting, skipping stones. And then they get to set and he's like, uh-uh. And he's like trying to impress this Jake. Like he's trying to impress Tina.

Oh, I met the shot putt. Oh shit, did I write skipping stones again? I went shot put. No, no, no. I'm just trying to kill that fish. Oh, that fish has got some evil in. Trying to throw a rock at the grabber. So whatever,

Nate, he's, like, resurrected, and he's killing people all over the place, slowly making his way to these two houses. But the rich girl is, like, obsessed with Nick, so she, like, is picking on Tina, and, like, she goes up to the writer guy. And she's like, hey, guess what? You're really good-looking.

He's like, I am? Say, what? I just said, space, mommy. And you got horny? This is going to work out. after all. So he enlists, she enlists him like to do like this straight jacket gag and he's like girls are paying attention to me.

Yeah, I will insult this mentally ill girl because the other one wiped me. So she's like, so she's traumatized by this clearly. I just weigh in some like cool psychic powers and you see she's like, she's going on and on about this pearl necklace that her dad gave her or something so you see the thing like come up and I was like cool, so you're like tighten this around me now. and it's gonna be awesome yeah and it just kind of like falls to pieces she needs to be killing people because the yes just as dangerous as jason or more so well this movie was supposed to be freddie versus jason like that was the idea like the genesis of it and they're like uh freddie backed out

telepath the girl freddie had best freddie had other commitments he said oh like shitty seeples of my own. I'm like 87. They were still turning those terrible mooters out of Tenderman. I've been auditioning. I'm really close to getting this pilot. Waiting for a callback. Yeah. The pilot was wings. Oh, wow.

Oh, you think he was going to be null? Yes, he definitely said to be null. This airport's too small. Or whatever. They were comfortable. They were upset about a lot of things. Where was that? Alaska? Nantucket.

Oh, I was way off. Everybody, now get ready for a deafening applause. Who's watched a full episode of Wings? All right, see, you know that. That is much more than that talk. You're much more than me, man. Can I bring up a behind-the-scenes thing on this? Absolutely.

There was a man who was hired for his production named Leslie Buzzbee. That's a real man. And he was hired as Gator Man. But there's not a Gator in this movie. I know. This is what happens. They hired a Gator Man for Alabama. They were shooting in Alabama and they're like this.

Crocodiles in the water. They could eat more. Oh, wait, if Crocodile was they hired a Gator Man to do it? What a cuck up? Oh, so they're like filming in this lake and they're like, all right, now, Leslie, you just watch out for the gators. Just sit there and you see a gator come out. You've got to call cut.

But here's the thing is it was, and Gators don't live outside in winter, so he was just staring at a bond and paramount pictures with picking up the tab. Oh, it's good work, you can get it. What a scam? That's great. That is the drunken winter with his entire life. Oh yeah, he doesn't remember. He's like, I helped me, what? Still no Gators. Still no Gators.

Still no Gators. Hey, Leslie, are we good? Wait, let me check. Yeah, still no gators. Chris, I thought you were starting, I thought it was going to be like killer crock was supposed to be in this movie. Like, imagine if like a mutant alligator faun, Jason, that'd be fun. That'd be fun. That'd be much like a mutant alligator. Once you get the mask off, he does.

That's a big stupid thing that happens later. So, yeah, I mean, like, there's some cat masks. Any other good deaths? Some sort of starting out. No, well, they're all late because they're all, like, edited for television. Oh, no, so she's like, the two friends, the one girl's like, I'm going to go, fuck your crush and leave. your crush and leaves. And she's like, well, I'll show you. I'm going to, I'm going to try makeup. And she's like 29 years old. It's like, yeah, you know

what that is. See, now this is the thing you just reminded me. So we had a dude who was hired to spot gaities. Yet there was no one who could be bothered to pay attention to continuity. Because this woman goes upstairs of this house that they rank in. She's sitting in front of this mirror, putting on lipstick and whatnot. Good by horses is playing. No, I feel like it's not even that. She's just like, She's like, I'm going to fuck this guy. I'm going to dress like a sexy receptionist.

I could be an extra on Murphy Brown. I can feather my own hair. That's right. And then she's like, all right, looks good. Let's do this. And she goes downstairs, and then we come to her just walking outside of this brick building you've never seen the car.

Where the fuck did this come from? And she walks like four feet, and then she's in a barn that we've never seen. She also looks confused during this whole. Yeah. She's like, I fucking fell out of one movie came to do another one. I think it's Quantum Leaf. I think she's left.

Oh, boy. It's that witch's curse, man. It fucks up all sorts of reality. It's a pretty powerful witch. But the thing is, though, when you talk about it, like, yeah, you can either have a Gator expert or a continuity expert. I'm more afraid of Gators person. Yeah, you're right. I said, no one's ever been killed by continuity. Exactly.

You don't say. I mean, you probably want a reputable Gator expert that says it's winter and you don't need me. And that's what his movie tends to do an RPG game show, because he walks into this barn and there's just like a wall of merchandise. There's like all these killing tools that, and he's like drooling over this shit. Well, it's like me at Barnes & Noble with a gift certificate. You know, it's like, which one do I get? All of them. Yes, exactly.

But it's like you keep seeing him show up with these tools and it's like, where the park did he get? Oh, the barn. Oh, the murder barn. This is where it gets like this huge weed whacker. That's what gets Terry Kaiser, I guess. Terry Kaiser just kind of gets cut in the chest with a weed whacker, which kind of sucks. Well, you don't know because you don't see it, Stephen.

You've got to put it in his face and make it all mush. Make it all much. It took this saw. Like, cut his head off. Come on. Cut his head off. Sure. I don't think anyone watching this movie

in the theater or otherwise would see someone's head get off him. It'd be like, what the fuck is that? What I was watching? A family brother, brother, front of the 13 movie. They should have cut his feet off and have him stumbling around. Oh, yeah. I mean, that's what he became known for.

What? Sterling, yeah, Terry. I thought he became known for getting his feet cut off. Well, you didn't know? I didn't read that. No, it happened. The other year, he had his feet cut off. Oh, that's dead.

No, he's lying well. He's at a convention right now. No, wait, wait. We get to Bernie's convention? Oh, they're everywhere, man. Bernie. No. You can have a Bernie con that's just you can dress up as three different characters.

It's very boring. He also has the greatest act of characters in this movie because him and the mom are running around and then it's like, oh no, Jason and they're like running. And they both like, he like pretend falls and then he's like, get down, get down. And then he cut, like, Jason like stalks around the corner and he's like, all right, go! And he picks this woman up by the arms and holds her in his head. and holds her in front of this murderer all she gets butchered. If this was hockey or basketball, he'd be credited with an assist.

Yeah, that's how that works. He's totally good person. That couldn't happen without his efforts. Thanks, buddy. You're like Stockton and Malone. No. I'd like to see that 30 for 30. Terry Kaiser and Jason.

Jason. The ESPN is running out of it. Tad Kaiser goes to a bar meets people that just holds them for Jason to kill him. Why hasn't that happened? Why isn't someone, like, you know, just played his mother and, like, got him to do murders? Has that happened?

No. No. Government's special forces, you know. At the end, in Jason Axes, isn't he a military experiment gone wrong? Or something. Whatever happens in that space. they put adamantium in them, man.

And then, oh, dude, old man Jason, love that movie. It's just Jane Hatter and Patrick's Dewart and Edward's yelling at each other. Everybody I killed is dead. What a confusing yet touching line of dialogue. He's a fucking poet, man. Yeah, I mean, but that would make sense,

though. you do get those like weird things and people who marry serial killers so like women would be obsessed with Jason right? They'd be writing them letters and stuff probably I've got him a letter think about what you know

what will he say bad I want to know I mean he might be illiterate so that's not a problem maybe he can sign a head shot I don't know he seems really focused on his career though I was really touched by your letter it sounds like your parents are dicks all the best Jason

P.S. Thanks for listening to my EP. Music is my new love. Oh, that nerd gets sexually humiliated by the morning. Oh, yeah. So she's like trying to make Nick jealous because she's insane. So yeah, she's setting a sex trap. She's like, all right, nerd. I'll listen to your pitch about diabetics or whatever.

Let's just come into bed. And like, every time they keep cutting back to this dude, he's just like burrowing his face into his... his face into her neck and I was like, this guy just doesn't know how to do it. No, he did not. That's the problem. It's not this lady's fault. She's like, I'm tired of getting your nose rubbed into my neck.

Well, she's like, you know, she gives him the stop. Like, no. And he's like, wait, what? And she's like, yeah, obviously. I thought, I was supposed to head button your stomach. Man, that guy is way off. So then he does that, like, that classic move of like, Well, fine, I'm going to go take a cold shower.

Oh, that didn't change your mind? All right, well, I got a date with a soap on a rope. Nothing? All right. He does give her the sick burn. Oh, you think I care about rejection from you? I've been rejected from the finest science fiction. Finest science fiction publications in the continental U.S.

And she's like, I made the right decision. Which is such a specific thing. I was like, were you published in Alaska? What is that? Maybe. There's some zine out there? Oh, definitely a zine. He started and published in the mail to Alaska.

So he gets murdered. They all get murdered. Almost everybody certainly gets murdered. So then these two movies converge and then we like run back and forth between two houses for like 35 minutes. It's about right, yeah. It's like in the Muppet Pipp is when you open the door and like return the Jedi is going on. You're like, that's not right. right and you close it

he's like oh it's this weird telekinetic family drama no that's not right oh no jason kramer versus kramer exactly that wasn't an odd turn for the mother babies maggie what's divorce explain it to them they should have tackled more bigger subjects on that show oh they couldn't man yeah because they had a chance to really say something Did the government ever try and kick in the door or no? Of the puppets? Yeah!

There's these old woman's hiding all this clearly government experiments inside his nursery. Or maybe it's not... Oh no, that's what it is. It is a government experiment. It's two-way glass. That's not even a house, you think? It's just a room that's designed like a nursery.

Now we're getting into old man curb it. And they're all X-23s. Yes, yes. You get a fucking rainbow connection right now. Yeah, so we're going back and forth. And then it's, you know what, it's just a bunch of cat and mouse stupid shit. She realizes she can just, like, go balls out with these psychic powers is the idea. Like, this is where the special effects budget is going, by the way.

And all these cool moves. All $5 of it. Oh, yeah. Someone throws a couch at him, and you're supposed to think that she did it mentally. There's a lot of, like, stop motion animation of, like, enlisted tool video for a while. Yeah, totally. You know, like, right really short or something? Yeah, yeah.

It's pretty great. And then he takes, she tightens his mask. Oh, that's pretty disgusting. Brush his head in like this goose. But this does lead to him taking off the fucking mask. This is the dumbest, dumbest thing you can do in this movie. The whole reason anybody cares is because it's a scary dude with a hot mask on. And this genius artist was like, you know what?

I'm going to turn the tables on Hollywood. Whoa! That mask is coming on. And it looks like a lizard person. This isn't a tiquette. This isn't a decaying boy child there? He's a reptilian. Yeah.

Yeah. He looks like a Gumba from the Duma. He does a lot. It's disgusting and he's just like, ah, and like his jaw's going. It's like a fucking Disney anotronic thing. I guess he's always muttering, but like what's the mask is off, it really starts up? You can hear it.

Yeah, that's what the mask does. It keeps that muffled and sort of good. Yeah. You don't hear this fucking motor mouth constantly. That's the whole time he's just asking for help. That'd be really sad. Yeah. Gives you a whole new twist on Jason.

Can you help me? No? Well, no. Let me just shake your hand. Oh, no, I killed you. I can't help it. That's why we need Medicare for all. We need to help these people.

Before they go out and stop killing everybody. And get cursed by different things. So he's thrown through the floor by her mental powers twice in this movie. She hangs it for a little bit. Until dead. Until undead, I guess. He does get electrocated as well. He does get a puddle.

Alright, man, that big puddle out of nowhere? What was that? No, seriously, there wasn't, you didn't show me rain. Yep. What is this puddle? And it's a humongous puddle. Like, someone empty to kitty pool. Where is the highway department, man?

No, a shovel. I'm imagining the gator expert looking at the script. Like, are you gonna want me on set that day? That puddle? Might be a gator. You know what? That's maybe a gator. Central. I'm just saying, man, they're about being Gator.

Listen, if there's one thing I learned in Gator Academy is that Gators love puddles. You're going to play with a puddle, man. You might get burned or bit, in this case, as it were. He's just scanning all these film productions. He's not the English patient for some reason. I don't know, that desert, might not some desert gators. You know, with Gators love, planes crashing in the desert. They also love section of bathtub.

And that man's name, Steve Irwin. I gotta bring up as many dead people as possible. Doing good so far. Let me just put an asterisk, beloved dead people. Yeah, yeah, they die too. Yeah, sorry, they do. But she keeps killing him and she's like, there, I'm all done.

Like, and just walks away and is just happy about life? No. Well, this is just like the 10-minute prolog. We are just padding the shit out of this because there's no story. Just like finish the job. Finish the job. You've got these Jedi powers. Yeah. Well, that's what it should be.

If she's, like, as strong as, let's say, like, she's like a Gene Gray, right? Sure. And she, like, whips him up, and then just turns him to sand. You see him, like, shaking, and the music's, like, coming up, and then he just explodes into really smelly sand. And then you're like, oh, well, that's the end of the franchise. Now, I'm literally not afraid of Jason anymore. Who'd that happen, is Cyclops?

Oh, yeah, that did she turn? Yeah. Well, then didn't she do the same thing to Professor X in the same shitty movie? Yeah, the 20 minutes apart. What about the else? Well, I bet you didn't think we were going to bring up X-Men, did you? I wore an X-Men shirt. Oh, is that what that is?

Yeah. That's an X-Men shirt. Yeah. That's pretty cool. It's not. So she sprays it with gasoline. This old house has, like, a diesel, like a depot of gasoline. It's got a huge furnace down there.

I think this is left over from like the Freddy part of the script, right? Oh, you're ripping me off, dude. We're going to court. Maybe. I've got knives for fingers and fuckers for lawyers, man. They'll fuck you up. I have a very strong legal team. They'll come for your 40s.

Don't think they won't come. You thought OJ had the dream team. Look out! Oh, excuse me, it looks like Jason kills somebody when they're sleeping. No. No. Now, that's my side of the street, dude. That'll be $25,000. Jason could not wear a hat ever. I don't care if it's hot. I don't care.

I wouldn't want him to wear a hat. It would look really dumb. Because it would be a hat like over the hockey match. Yeah, yeah. It would really fuck like a beanie. Yeah. Oh, beanie? Oh, yeah. That would play to his intelligence levels.

Oh, it spins around when he gets a kill. I mean awesome I take it back that would be really cool that's how you put this branch shots on his head beanies he gets blown up

uh... blowed up I should say and it's only Nick and Tina left what's the house goes up let me just say that we have cut over most of the movie which is actually people just calling for other people

David Becky Tina Michael Robin David David Roger Sam Dr Kisser

Alva Alton. There's no al to there. Maybe he was another person who was not invited to that surprise party but showed up anyway. So we have a look at this confrontation where everyone thinks Jason is dead.

Yet again, he comes out and he starts, he wants to drown Tina. Right. And then totally inexplicably, Tina's dead dad comes up from the water. They left him down there? Yeah. That's a huge.

huge problem. This guy dies in this lake and they just leave him down there? It must mean that they didn't report it. And it's like, that fucker abandoned us. But he's got Social Security checks. Oh, nice. This deep sign of those checks, lady. I know you're doing it.

Well, the Crystal Lake Police Squad does not exist. Yeah, they can't come together. They've literally abandoned that town. It's a hundred, that lake is 100 feet wide. eight feet deep. Literally, you could find that bottom. It would take ten minutes. He wasn't tied to anything. He should have floated up. Yeah. Well, there's all the boards and shit that fell on. I don't care he would have floated up. You know, you get your, your belly's getting all the gas

from all your death. Oh, sure. You're going to rise, man. You're going to float right up. Well, it's fucked up because he doesn't, like, he should be more rotten than Jason. Yes. Mainly because he doesn't have supernatural powers. We know. We're not told. He should be a skeleton. Oh.

Totally. Yeah, right? Like, just bones jump out of it. You'd still get it. You'd be like, oh, I guess that's the dad, maybe. Also, you wouldn't care. Just loose bones. Just throw your father's remains down.

It's Crystal Lake. Who knows how many corpses are there? There's probably thousands. Thousands of thousands of dead. The whole fucking town's down there. Little kid skeletons, I mean, the whole thing. The Kidner Boy? Oh, the Kinder Kid, he's right in there.

He thought a shark got him, but it was actually the grab her. It's a jaws joke. Uh... No, but like, this dude looks totally fine. He's just kind of wet, but not real kidding. And he's got these, like, Jacob Marley chains. He's like, he's in the chains I forged in life, Jason. What?

The chains I bought from beating Dieter's mother! I mean, I guess that's a fitting end for that guy. Yeah, I think so. I guess so, like permanently damned to the bottom of Crystal Lane. But like, I mean, none of this makes any sense. And that's the end of, that's the comics of the movie. This is what the movie has been leading up to, I guess. We've been working towards it the whole time.

All 72 minutes of it, or something. Is he like free now, maybe, or not? Oh, no. Oh, I see. Wait, the wife here? Yeah. Is he just, like, go, be freed and, like, walk away? walk away no he just goes on to a different place oh see that would have been a twist

though then he was given like a second lease online he rises or no we need a shot of him in heaven man surprise party in the what dreams make on heaven oh yeah what a boring heaven you know what dude set me to hell it's fine that many paintings it's just painting there's bad music on where the fuck is Hendrix Come on. We're just in a shitty museum. So then we just cut to like the next morning and you're like, all right, well I've seen

literally six of these. So bless you, my business. I've seen six of these movies. There's something's coming. Something's coming. So we're getting like these, I think they're like actual Alabama EMTs.

I mean, this one guy's got a mullet to beat the fucking band. My God in heaven, it is beautiful. This fucking gorgeous Kentucky waterfalls coming off with this 15-year-old kid. He's not even conscious the fact that he was being captured to film for fucking effort. He's got a dirty mustache and everything. Oh yeah, you just learned to grow that mustache last week. Oh, it's embarrassing. He's learned to grow.

He's like, look, I can do it now. Dad, look. And he's like, yeah, that's great. You're not going to be an EMT like that, are you? Yeah, okay. Now go haul corkses. And so it's like this kid and like two other surly fuckers And they're like haul this girl into the back of the ambulance Where this other dude is still hanging out And he's like kind of unconscious And they push her into the ambulance

And he wakes up and he just goes Jason And then they close the door And he's like well what about Jason And she's just like Don't worry We got him And then the ambulance drives away

And it starts fading to black And I was like, all right, come on, Stinger's team, come on, credits. Oh, that was it? Gator Wrangler, credit the first, what? Also, like, why don't you never come back in the mythos of, you know, Jason? Oh, like, just around two. Yeah, I think they're like, this is a stupid idea we shouldn't do it again. There wasn't any room, man.

He had to take Manhattan. People could have gone to Manhattan. Oh, yeah, that could be. Tina takes Manhattan. Oh, Tina takes Manhattan. That's a better to me. The Muppets took Manhattan once. Yeah, what was what happened to them?

They were reduced to babies and put in a room for all eternity. Nothing but their imagination. I think that's what happens to people in Manhattan, because Jason gets trying to do a baby there too. Oh, right, at the end of that. That's why you're not the book to drink the toxic flush. And thank you a little baby! What happened to that guy?

Is that the start of Boss Baby? Oh, God. You know what? Did anyone see Boss Baby? Yeah, some guy? No. No. Oh, it's a very good to make that.

I love it. Digit for one for a boss baby, please? Yeah, uh, hi, I'm a creep. No. Maybe he's an animator. Just checking out the competition. Could be a huge Alec Baldwin fan. Oh, yeah, they're out there.

Are they? The Gator Watcher's looking at me. I was a Gator watcher on Boss Baby. Gotta make sure there's animators don't grow on the alligator. Gators love computer animation. Or maybe the guy trying to get rid of other Baldwin. Are no Stephen Baldwin yet? Keep your eyes feel for Stephen Baldwin.

I think the alligators and Stephen Baldwin. Yeah, I'm expanding my business. Oh shit, Steven Baldwin's going into a death roll. So, would anybody recommend this movie, man? Yeah, I think it's kind of fun. I mean, it's not one of the better ones, but it's one of the ones. You know what? It's a movie they made.

Yeah, I agree. It's an 80s, Friday the 13th. After the 80s end, it really becomes kind of not okay for Friday the 13th. Yeah, you've got to cut that shit off. But I feel like we could bring that the series back, right? You just got to keep setting it's the 80s. Period piece, man. Totally.

Or just set it in like an alternate 2017. It's just the 80s. That would work. Yeah, totally. Yeah, I'd recommend it. I own it on Blu-ray, so what the hell? That's something I just admitted in COVID. I literally own all of these.

High definition now. It's good. Yeah, no, it's terrible. I'm sorry. No, but like for a 17-minute movie, it does kind of fly by, which is nice. Yeah, it does. But nothing happens. I also would like to just turn on the audience.

for a second, and I think somebody else will boss baby. I'm almost, it's not just you, sir. I know, somebody else did. You have evidence? They're just sitting here, and their cheeks are red, like, oh, fuck, no one can know. What's the movie back then? I don't know.

All right. You know what? Maybe we'll never know. So we gotta start wrapping things up. We want to thank you guys for coming out. Give yourselves a round of applause. It's been great. Thank you for punchlines for having us come all the way down here.

Thanks for everyone. I can buy posters over there. Chris Walton did design those. It was pretty cool. Yes, our artist friend Chris Walton, animated, drew us. For legal reasons, that is not Jason at all. No, Jason, Florida. He's the one in that drawing.

We're like to end every show with a little bit of internet correspondence. And by correspondence, I mean reviews for from IMD. Because the most passionate people on the internet are the people that bothered to take time to read reviews on the internet. And they're real booby-pops. Real big-time movie buffs, man. So this one comes from Friday fan one. Oh! Subject, no one can stop him. And you're all you're all right. You guessed it ten out of ten stories. What, I just loved that movie.

Friday fan won. This was a strange Friday the 13th. It could have been really stupid, but luckily it turned out to be one of the best. Jason looked awesome. Best death scenes I had seen in a while. And a lot of blondes. Oh, no.

Oh, fucking pervert Friday, Friday, things. This movie also proves that Jason cannot be stopped. So did the last six. It's finally been proved. He will always come back. Might take him a few years. But I bet we can get ready to see a lot more of him in 2001. Okay?

Is he writing from the alternate time line? The review was posted in 2001. Oh shit. So I don't know, man. It sounds like he's talking to like Jason's abandoned son. He'll be back one day. I know he will. Just wait to see what your dad does.

Your dad's the best. So this guy's got a little bit of a different painting in the second one here. Subject line, uh, a ho-hum entry. Oh no. From Lucian Vision. Unfortunately, this is 4 out of 10 stars. The New Blood is the second worst installment in the Paramount Era, Friday the 13th movies. Oh, that's wrong.

Edged out... I feel like I'm on a message board right now. Yeah, that's the idea. Edged out ever so slightly by Jason takes Manhattan. I'm always perplexed by how many fans embrace this. century. This guy's got a real fucking accident right. And I'm talking about you, Thomas. Truthfully, Kane Hodder's portrayal of Jason Gorgies and the Jason makeup design are the best things about part seven. From the lackluster sound design, first of all, you are bitching about the sound design.

In a slasher movie, you don't lower them expectations, Ganger Wrangler. This cinematography was terrible. Incipid stripped Jesus Christ Which seemingly can't even rip off the final chapter well So why are you rooting for that to happen? I'm going to email Thomas this immediately Forgettable characters

Turtle pacing That's not referring to ninja turtles No, I don't think so. No, no, he, that's a tempo. It's a turtle racing. Oh. Is that turtle racing scene? Oh, right.

Yeah. And the hair one. Like, no, the turtle wates. Yeah, slowly. I sure. Right. That's how the fable goes. And practically non-existent door effects.

Almost everything about this entry is Piss poor. That's important to note here that Lucian Vision is a nice guy. And Piss is written P. $2. Fine. Wait, wouldn't that be piss rich? It would be piss rich? Right.

Maybe if the movie was available uncut, something that we will unfortunately never see exist. That would boost my rating and enjoyment slightly. This guy is taking this movie taxes. Seriously. But as it stands, the sleeping bag kill sequence remains one of the only highlights in this dismal Friday. Because he would have done it to his sister. I mean, who hasn't thought about doing that to their sister?

Oh, no. Yikes, dude. That's just dark shit. Maybe you should write a Friday the 13th movie. Oh, I should. How I would like to kill my sister. Let's, let me cross that on Friday, the 13th. And he ends it with a plug. Be sure to check out our Friday the 13th fan podcast here at HTTB, Colin Slack.

Yeah, I'm not going to plug this. We've been we hate movies, Atlanta. Thanks for a lot. Thank you. That was a hate gum podcast.