We Hate Movies - S7 Ep311: Episode 311 - Air Force One

Episode Date: July 18, 2017

On the penultimate episode of the season, the guys talk about the over-the-top, total recommend of an action film, Air Force One! How in the world did the Secret Service botch this trip so badly? Does this movie start inside a fake action film? And how many CGI extras are flying out of this plane? PLUS: Slick Willy smokes a doob in the Air Force One escape pod!  Air Force One stars Harrison Ford, Gary Oldman, Glenn Close, Wendy Crewson, William H. Macy, and Dean Stockwell; directed by Wolfgang Petersen. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Now on today's program, a little bit of a break. We're finally over the whole Transformers thing, I believe. We're just done with all of them. Thank God. Until the Bumblebee movie comes out. And then we'll be back. We'll Bumble be back. But until then, my God, it's been a long time since I've seen this movie.

It's Air Force One on We Hate Movies. I'm Andrew Jupin. Steven Zadak. Eric Siska. And we hate movies. Hello, everyone, welcome to We Hate Movies. Thank you for tuning into our fine podcast, as always. This week, like we mentioned up top, it's Air Force One, directed by Wolfgang Peterson,

from the grand year of 1997. I got to tell you right up front, solid hangover movie, kind of a WLM situation here. A little bit, yeah. Well, it's really just, it's Ford and Oldman. That's why you're here.

You know what I mean? You're just like, sure, this is great. And it's just them kind of doing like a community theater production of diehard essentially. Well, I got to admit, I'm kind of here for Zander,

Berkeley, and William H. Macy. Come on. It's Butch William H. M.C. by the way. He's like all tough and rough and tumble. Well, I'm a general. I'm a general. God damn it. My wife's in the back of Air Force One with an ass and her cock. I'm a tiny general. But this was totally sold as like die hard on a plane. Oh, totally. But get this, John McLean's president. So this movie starts with like what you would call, like it's like almost when you watch a movie and it has the fake movie opening, it's like a fake action movie. I was waiting. We started to go, cut! Yeah, totally. And you know, it was like, like, it was like, like, it was like, like, it was like, like, it was, like, like, it was, like, like, like, it was, like, like, like, it was, like, like, like, like, like, like, it was. Like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, The annoyance at some of the stuff in this movie. This movie's two hours and eight minutes, by the way, longer than Star Wars. Ever 11 minutes.

And you know where you could cut some of this out? This first shot where you can't even tell what's going on. It's just like fake animated paratroopers like coming down. And I'm staring at the TV like, what are they doing? What is this? Like it's been so long since I've seen this movie. And I was like, oh, it's dudes. Oh, they're in parachutes.

Oh, why have I spent so long not being able to tell what this is. Yep. Like, you can cut that right down. The first line should be welcome to Air Force One. Yep. Here's your seat, Mr. President. Well, this is establishing the reasons for revenge.

Oh, right. Which also, this whole thing is kind of a rip. Speaking of Die Hard, this is Die Hard too. Oh, right, yeah. So what happens is these dudes come in. These are American forces. I believe they're Navy SEAL. Yeah, they come in, maybe SEAL Team 5.

Special ops. Yeah, I mean, this is 1997. seven so it was before SEAL Team 6. Oh, I don't know. Every decade, they get another number. So these these dudes jump in to, we're told it's Kazakhstan. They go into this palace or whatever and kidnap of all people.

Borg and Praachna. That's where he is. Kazakhstan. That's true, actually. Man, if Juergen Prachna was wearing that neon yellow bathing suit, that's what he sleeps in. Very nice. But it's a great cameo because, of course, Jürgen Prachna was in Wolfgang Peterson's Das Bood.

That is right. So he's kidnapped, and then that's the end of that. And then we go, it's like three weeks later. We're in Moscow looking at that Krasnaya Plushid, man, that Red Square. And it's a big old party.

There's like a total big dinner reception, and it's the president of Russia. Boris Yeltsin. Well, dude, this guy looks like Tom Seismore. You better believe it. And so he's given this speech. She's introducing President Harrison Ford. And in the crowd, there's an extra.

It's not a character in the movie, unfortunately, but I swear to you, there's an extra in this dinner party scene that looks exactly like Rex Tillerson. Oh, really? Yeah, like, what are the odds? Wayne Tractor. Dude, I did a triple take. And like the president, he's, what's the name Marshall? President. Jim Marshall.

Jim Marshall. Jim Marshall, President of the United States, Norderdame fan. Wow. I also like watching baseball. that is like the perfect they like built the perfect president dude the man's name is Jim Marshall he shits red

white and blue can you imagine a more American name a fucking dick hot dog like that's oh fuck I I would vote for dick hot dog twice second term for dick hot dog making a foot long

I feel like you would have a problem voting for dick hot dog like what's that guy up to wasn't that uh you know what his platform is delicious what was that fat man in pixels that was Preston. Chris Christie? Kevin James. He was Dick Hot Dog in that movie. Yeah, he was. I mean, that's not his name, but he was

eating hot dog. He was basically Dick Hot Dog. I thought his name was Hot Dog. His name was Veal Parmesan. Ooh, I don't know. It sounds a little Catholic for my taste. But yeah, he's given this speech, but he's got all the ground. Here's the thing is you got Harrison Ford as the president. That's That's my ticket. I don't care what's going to be going on. I would let him wear that little earring.

I would vote for him. Oh, yeah. This, I mean, you'd vote for Harrison Ford if he ran for president. Yes, that's what I'm saying. I'm Jim Marshall. Well, Jim Marshall is the dullest president you've seen in a while. He's just like, so it's so glad great to be in Russia and I'm supposed to get this fucking award, but I got to tell you, we fucked up.

He is like, and he starts talking about it going off script. And all of his advisors are like, oh, my God, he's going off script. How would you imagine such a thing? That's the thing is, I want a boring president. Yeah, actually, that's true. I would like a fucking doll as dirt president hot dog. But he's basically criticizing America's efforts. I guess there's been a bunch of, like, you know, potential genocide or war crimes or whatever in Kazakhstan.

They, you know, sat idly by and did nothing but, you know, just do sanctions after sanctions after sanctions on them. Instead of going in and removing this man. So he's basically, it's this thing where he's like, you better be fucking a friend. afraid terrorists because I'm done with this bullshit. No more sanctions fucking bombs up your ass instead. I'm just going to street fight. I can punch you. My name is

President Punch and I will punch everyone. President Punch. He is kind of President Punch. I don't know. Now I'm thinking like in the debates President, Punch would beat hot dog Oh absolutely. Can you imagine the headlines too? Like punch T.K.O.

We really won that debate. Yes. You're going to get punched. Hey, hey, I'm going to punch you. Hot dog bruised. I really do think that we should just, anytime there's any kind of skirmish between two world leaders, just get him in the ring and see what happens. Slap fight, dude.

Yep, slap fight. Why not, right? Like, you know, you're fighting as tributes for your nation. Now, many men may live. Exactly. Actually, you know, it would be cool. I don't know what it's called, but we're catching up on episodes of Anthony Bourdain's Parts Unknown on Netflix

and we got this episode where he goes to Istanbul and one of the things he goes to watch is these fucking dudes The Thunderdome? It's kind of, it might do to might as well be Thunderdome. These dudes oil each other up

and they do this like oil wrestling thing where they're like shoving their hands down the other guy's pants. Dude, it is wild and I think we're like grabbing dicks and stuff. It's crazy. Wait, wait, wait, you twist a dick. to, like, down your opponent?

Is that the idea? I think that's kind of the idea, dude. Dick twisted? So, yeah, you get, like, you know, whoever. I have your hot dog president. Punch. That's how they fight each other. That would be awesome.

But, yeah, like, yeah, like, we'll save millions of lives. Here we go. Let's get in there to slap each other around. See what happens. First one who starts crying loses. Saving lives, saving money. You know, how much a call? I mean, what's a bottle of oil, Steve?

38 cents. Wait, they're selling it in bottles? What, yeah. Like, you know, barrels, my friends. No, sexy oil. Oh, not car oil. Or we could do like that Star Trek, like, you know, those weird, get those weird axes at each other. Now we're attacking each other to pieces.

Oh, right. Dude. Was it a muck time? Yes. Yeah. Oh, well, yeah, we could go next gen route and Warps doing all his fucking bat left tournaments and whatnot. Get that shit going on. We're just fucking laser tech.

I don't know. Just like, let's just do it that way. Like, oh, sorry. That was solved by a game of fun laser tag. Putin's administration was dismantled due to losing laser tag. I'd love that. Wow. That's so great. Done. I mean, how much does a blacklight thing cost? I mean, you're saving money left.

And you're giving money to the Discovery Zone. They could co-sponsor it. We're putting money back into the economy. And we could stop voting for 70-year-olds. That's also true. Oh, yeah, you'd have to get someone virulent quick. Exactly. Now, here's a question. Personal experiences. How many of you guys had a birthday party at a laser tag place?

Oh, I did not. Really? Also, by the way, Andrew, no one could see you raise your hand. Oh, yeah, I guess that was pretty stupid of me. I wish I did, though, but no, there was no laser tag near me. Really? Oh, it was great. No, yeah, we didn't.

We went to a Chucky Cheese light kind of place. Right, right, light, like not like the off-brands? It was like Adventure Zone or whatever. Routy rats. Yeah, exactly. Routy rats. Who is a rowdy rat? Rowdy e-rath.

So what? whatever. He makes this big speech. They're pretty confident he's going to change the world. But everyone's shit in their pants because like this, they have a whole foreign policy. And this jackass just gets up. But he's like, hey, I'm going to punch you. Hey, give me your face. I'm going to punch it. Yeah. It's sort of like so unimaginable. It's sort of like having like one of the biggest U.S. military bases in Qatar and then saying like it's good that they're being ejected from the international community. It's like that. And then and then doubling down on that. yet selling them fighter jets afterwards. Do you imagine if that

happened? I couldn't imagine. It would be crazy. It would be weird to have an unhinged lunatic president. It would be really strange. Now here's an interesting thing. So we cut to the airport and it's like we gotta get the fuck out of you. I'm sick and tired of this. Baseball's on. So we're trying to get wheels up on Air Force One. Here's a question. Whenever Air Force One is docked, does that turn into Airport One? Like is it always Airport One?

That's an interesting idea. Like where you mean like the airport in where Air Force One is? Yes. Or is it like where it usually is? Oh, it's usually in, you know, the Ronald F. Hangar. Yeah, where do we keep that thing? Andrew's Air Force Base? I don't know. LaGuardia. It's always a LaGuardia. Wow, that sucks. No wonder it's a shithole.

So we get to this airport and we're doing like the security checks or whatever. We see this woman who's like White House PR kind of lady. And she's leading in, here we go, Gary Oldman and is married. band of Ruskies and they're you know we know they're the terrorists obviously we saw the preview and so they're posing as journalists so we're going to interview the president

Air Force One and this was my question I don't know if this was like a bigger role and it was a deleted scene but did you notice the dude at the security checkpoint oh I did the dude who's the bad guy in Beverly Hills Cop 3 you're going to have to be more specific that's George Lucas right

what no the guy in Beverly Hills Cop 3 that's the bad guy I know George Lucas has a cameo in that movie Well, whenever I see him, I think that's the bad guy No, but do you know who I'm talking about? No, no. Axel. Hey, Axel.

Hey, Axel. What do you think about having a little space adventure with me? It's way better than Detroit And certainly better than Los Angeles. I call it the Adventures of Pluto Nash. Do you think he secretly wrote the Adventures of Pluto Nash? I think it's like an Alan Smithy type of job. Is this the same actor, Steve, that's in the first ghost

Busters. He's the Dana Barrett's like orchestra companion. I think so. So this guy. Wait, why? Okay, so why would I recognize it? That is the most boring looking guy. I don't know. Am I the only one of this room who's seen Beverly Hills Cop

3 like 20,000 hours? I saw it a million time. I saw it. Stay tuned by the way. I saw a handful of times but I had diminishing returns on my rewatch. Oh, no kidding. Yeah, I did Bronson Pinchot and his stupid super gun. I kind of didn't care. Yeah, no, it's not

good. The best bit of acting I've ever seen, period, especially by Bronson Pinchos when he gets busted for Coke and true romance. Yes. Yeah. Well, that means you're leaving out the Langaleers, which I think is his best performance. I just feel like... I never saw it.

What? Yeah. Wow. That might have to be like a two-part stay tuned because it's fucking... It was like a TV movie. It's really long. Yeah. I taped that off of Fox and watched it like 25 times. Wow. I had a crush on the lady who plays Billy Crystal's wife and city slickers.

She's in that movie. Okay. I don't know. I don't remember this one either. I don't remember her name. Anyway, so that guy is just... But you never forget a face. No, that's right. So this guy is... He's just doing like security and he's like, you know, you got to go through the metal detector. I thought he was

in on it. I thought it was going to be a thing where he's in on it. Because that you want a crooked fuck. You look to that guy, absolutely. And this is totally post Beverly Hills Cop 3. He's played a villain in a franchise film but I mean like nobody watched that movie man it's not like everyone's like oh my god that guy has to be so oh my god

it's George C. Scott hey that's George C. Scott he's gonna be in the movie later like no it's just some guy and George C Scott as Air Force One Security Checkpoint number one everybody get the things together everybody have it got your fucking IDs out now get your shoes off

oh man better take off the belt that would be a terrifying TSA guy again I got to grab your asshole you want to pat down I don't make their hands into a diamond hands into a diamond hands into a diamond

do you hear me I want your hands no no that's a robinish I want them in a diamond how would you put your hands into a rombiz bend over and I'll show you Oh, so they let terrorists on board this plane.

What a colossal failure. And I know that, like, you know, Zander Berkeley, who's, like, a secret serviceman is, like, he's crooked. He's crooked. He's in on it. But, like, what a colossal failure this is. Absolute failure. Like, from Jump Street, this is an absolute failure. So we get on board. This woman's like, oh, do you want a tour of all of Air Force? Air Force One. I was like, man, our relationship with Russia in 1997 was much different. And we just like took over

half of it. Do you know what I mean? We just like deposed their, the Kazakhstan whatever leader. Oh, right. Yeah, I was going to say about Russia in 96, we hacked their election basically. Yeah, oh, that's right. Yeah, you know, the mainstream media won't tell you that because they don't want America

to be looking like a bad guy, but we are. We are. So yeah, she's just like showing them around or whatever. We get introduced to like all the cast crazy characters that's on Air Force One including General William H. Macy. Yeah Crooked Zander Berkeley.

Now is this is the other guy the guy from who play the guy from CSI who plays like Flass or whatever that guy is like one of his advisors? Oh the guy who takes the bullet at the end? Yes. Yeah. Oh is he on a CSI? I thought he might have been. Oh I don't know watch those shows. Yeah and I'm not

67 years old. Those shows are hilarious because it's like oh my god it's it's two scientists like explaining what sciences to each other's like well um that's uh it's ice and like i like ice yeah when water gets cold turns to ice it's like oh okay oh oh gotcha following along all right this is the smartest show on tv uh there's a really great moment here so like you know harrison ford is doing the whole like well you just give me five fucking minutes so i can talk to my family so in comes this daughter and She's basically like, hey man, why don't you like let me, like, hey man.

She's like, I want to be, you know, going around with you on these tours or whatever. Why don't you let me like see this like war-torn whatever? And he's like, well, because it's really hard to look at stuff like that. And she's like, dad, I'm 12 years old. And I was like, one, this actress is not 12 years old. Two, what are you fucking crazy? She's like, I want to see a war-torn village. I can take it.

Show me that brutality. I actually think it would be good to show a 12-year-old American kid award torn village. This is how everyone else lives. Just grow them up a bit. Yeah, you know what? Yeah. Show what it's like?

Give him a moral compass. You know, wouldn't be too bad. And then we have this running gag of like the president has been taping all the big games and he's going to watch them all on the ride home and everyone keeps hilariously spoiling scores for him. Some guys just like, yeah, Mr. President. Michigan, 1314. What a great game. All right. And he's like, you're fucking going to the Hague now.

That's right. International War Court. Here it comes. Spoiled the Notre Dame game for me. And there is a scene. I mean, you want to talk about President fucking Hot Dog, dude. This guy. I do want to talk about President. His wife comes in, the First Lady herself. Wendy Crucson. Wendy Crucson from the Santa Claus movies, the Good Son. Oh, right. She's the mom of the good son. Very nice. Wait, is she the mom in the good son? Yeah, she's the mom. Okay.

Or the aunt or whatever. Yeah, like, she's the mom that Elijah Wood starts dating in the middle of that movie. That's right. Very nice. So she's like, she's getting all sexy with the president. Sure. And it's this great thing where like, here's the president. He watches football.

He's holding an ice cold Budweiser in his hand. And he fucking tongue kisses the first lady right on this goddamn airplane. And this is America. Yaksha Mosh. And it's like, I love that having. Harrison Ford as the president. Did you just call him Paris and Ford? Wait, Paris Ford?

We'll always have Paris and Ford, Eric. No, the Paris and Ford Accords. That's how we got out of World War II. No, how Harrison Ford is like the best-looking president that could ever, like, by millions of miles. Sure. By millions of miles. And Wendy Cruson is the best-looking first lady by millions of miles.

Oh, absolutely. I guess that's true. What was the last, like, President Hunk? I mean, Obama's good-looking. And Michelle Obama as well. That's like the first, like, good-looking couple. Yeah, you're like, wow, look at that. And the Kennedys.

The Kennedy's. The Kennedy. Yeah. No, he was doing that to Gerald Ford. No. Or the H.W. Bush's. No. We've got to go way back, like, olden days.

They're like William K. Polk. He might have been sexually attractive for his time. Zachary Taylor, fucking 100 days in my bed. Dolly Madison? Isn't she sexy? Oh, right. Of course. Great ice cream the whole bit.

Yeah, so it's like, I don't know, this movie just keeps not wanting to start. Nope. The idea. Like, and you're right, Steve. It should be like, you know, directed by Wolfgang Peters in Air Force One, cut to someone buckling a seatbelt. Exactly. Like, it's the start at the beginning of airplane. Like, everyone's just finding their seats, you know, on Air Force One.

Sure. That's, yes. I don't need all this other stuff. One of the guys in the press pool who doesn't die or maybe he does. By the way, the body count of this movie, according to IMDB, is 48. It's a high body count. And you have to take into account things like all these extras that are just getting thrown out of the plane, just getting brutally assassinated. Some are off camera, but there's a couple great on camera.

Kill. Oh, absolutely. One of the guys in the press pool was one of the guys from No Mam. Remember Al Bundy's Noam community there? Oh, no. I didn't watch the show that much. It was like Al Bundy's version of like the female woman haters club. Yes, it was like the man woman haters club.

Excuse me. It was the, like the proto-MRA, you know? Oh, man, he would totally be. Oh, absolutely. He would be awful on Twitter. Al Bundy found out what Twitter was. Forget about it. But at least Al Bundy wasn't racist.

Yeah. Al Bundy had several African-American friends. And he was never like, eh, it's the black one pig. Like he was always, Al-Bundi was cool. after 9-11 oh that's right yeah that's right you know what's happening get out of my foot store my foot store where we we sell feet yeah so we're getting in gear and i guess like there's some there's some weird uh name dropping of saddam hussein did we catch this well because i guess saddam gets all riled up because of this speech so he like deploys tanks to the border well

no it's a thing where macy was like guessing that saddam hussein was behind something I think was the deal. That's what America loved to do. I'm guessing it's Saddam. I'm guessing what Saddam Hussein is up to. That was America's game show from like 1991 through 2003. And then when we whack them all. But no, it's this weird thing where they're like, yeah, so-and-so is like moving tanks to the border or something like that.

William H. Macy's like, oh, you think Saddam could be behind it? I was like, what are you bringing Saddam Hussein into this for? You're a prochnow's playing a general. There's a fake Russian president. Yes, exactly. This whole conflict we're talking about doesn't even exist. And Saddam Hussein has himself. And it's not Air Force One starring fucking Bill Clinton. It's President Hot Dogg. President American.

Is there much of a difference between Bill Clinton and President Hot Dog? Be honest. How is President Chicken McNuggett, man? Oh, man. You think I could, if I put the shower on an Air Force One, can I light a dube? Oh, fuck. I don't want to set off the fire alarm. Oh, fuck, I'm going to get caught again. Mr. President, what are you doing in here? Smoking a doom, General.

Take turn off that Michigan game and put on some sliders. That show, you watch Sliders while baked, man. Forget about it. It's before this term was invented, but hot take, Sliders is better than the X-Files, brother. Wow, man, that is awesome. What a president. apparently he loved this movie he loved the shit of this movie he screened it twice at the white

house another president loved this movie too yeah but he thought it was a thing that was really thought he was watching a documentary oh just get me on a plane with gary oldman i'll punch him in the nose oh wait is he friends with putin then uh how about a handshake right this way sir hand something the one thing they do only play with a little bit So is the football, is the nuclear football? Because somebody's like, oh my God, it's got the football. Oh, right. But it like turns to nothing.

It comes to nothing. Well, because that's, their mission has nothing to do with the launch code. So I guess it's fine. But so, I mean, actually, once we finally get on the fucking airplane. Oh, good Lord. I mean, this movie does get going immediately. So it turns out, Zander Berkeley is a crooked Secret Service agent. And he like opens the armory cabinet on Air Force One, which you know what?

That seems like a bad idea. that this thing exists on this plane. I mean, it makes sense, but, like, you shouldn't have one, like, well-trained agent to be able to... Everybody shouldn't be, like, hanging out relaxing in the armory thing. It's got to be turning your keys, right?

Like, two agents have to turn the keys at the same time. And the guy has a gun drawn, and he's, like, just... You have a sentry there, ready to go. Not like everyone's just, like, playing cards.

Well, I've seen better security when they change out the fucking money machine at the goddamn metro card stations on the subway. Oh, my God. Yeah, dude, forget about it. I don't make you nervous. You ever walk past those?

It's like a dude with a huge fucking chain and then this guy's got a machine gun. I'm always tempted to make a sudden move. Yeah, just to see what happens. Yeah, to die. Well, because they're all constantly out of shape so it can't be like that quick on the reflexes.

The problem is you've got to move all the Sacajawea dollars. That's a lot of weight. They can huck them at me. So he opens this thing and he takes like a little smoke bomb and puts it near a vent so they think like there's a fire and as soon as Gary Oldman and his boys like see this shit, they get up and they go

right for this cabinet. And let me tell you, the brutality starts immediately. This is rated R, right? Yeah, it's a hard R. But it's not enough blood. You know what I mean? Like, let's get it. Let's spray some fucking blood. Well, they wanted it to be PG-13 apparently. Oh, yeah. They probably dialed it back. You are getting a little bit of it, though, like it mainly in this sequence, but there are just extras upon extras getting fucking shredded at the beginning of this movie. It's kind of outrageous. In the 90s, we loved machine guns. And I miss. to how much we used to love machine. In movies.

In our country, we still love it. Oh, we still love the fuck out of it. You see the thing is, you used to watch it in movies and be like, oh, man, that's cool. Now you turn on the news and you're like, that's not cool. Hey, man. Wait, and that has something to do with the assault rifle ban. So maybe it's a thing, we let that expire and assault rifles are out of movies now. Yeah.

Maybe we put that ban on and they're like, well, if I can't see him in real life, maybe I can see them in the movies. And then they'll go back to being in movies. Yeah, it's like, Vin Diesel is assault rifle. Yeah, right. That's his name. He's like a man where he got like assault rifles for hands. Yep. Like a bionic man.

Like maybe he crashed one of his fast and furious cars. Oh, no, my car trash. Now I've got two assault rifles for hands. I have the biggest testicles in the world, Vin Diesel. He's going to, he's going to die soon. No. Eventually, he's old. How old did you think Vin Diesel is?

He's like 50s, right? No, he's like 40 something. He's as old as Paul Chi Amati, I heard. Oh, yeah, that's right. Like, come on. Neither of them are going to die soon. Yeah, they are. Well, relatively speaking.

Life expectancy, man. Someone's listening to this in the future. For the rich, forget about it. He's going to bury. Vindies will be laughing at your funeral. That's probably true. I'm going to put my huge balls on Eric Siska's casket. That'd be cool.

Dip. But, I mean, he's terrible, right? Can we just say that? Yeah, he's awful. Yeah, he's awful. me he's good in boiler room. I'm sick of hearing that from people. That's a lame defense. Right. Or Guardians of the Galaxy. Come on. That's ridiculous. That's ridiculous. Like he said one thing and then they just modded it.

He did one thing. I don't even think he had to show up for the second one. They just kept taking it from the first one. So yeah, they murder everybody. They rush Harrison Ford to an escape pod. Hey brother, that thing doesn't exist, man. I wish I could get baked in that escape pod catch a beach. They used to have a cool escape pod, but they called me catching a hot brain in the escape pod, and then they had to cancel the whole dirt thing. Hey man, you ever catch a hot beach in an egg-shaped room? The president did something inappropriate in the escape pod.

I'm sorry, we have to invoke the articles of impeachment. What happened? Well, he was hanging brain in the escape pod. unfortunately. Sorry, brother. I ruined it for everybody. Now there's no escape pod. Well, they took it out.

I was getting a beach in it. Carter warned me about this. Holy shit. The idea of an escape pod. I don't. I kind of like it. I actually literally, when I read that today that the escape pod didn't exist. It doesn't.

I really thought that that was a real thing. So they launched this thing out. and it goes flying and then I believe like everyone's kind of rushed into one room is the idea again it's just like diehard to get everybody in one room it's a hostage situation

they immediately it's kind of funny because Gary Oldman's like where is the wife and daughter and like this first kid is literally the only child on the plane only child in the room and she's like three feet in front of them

it's like come on what do kids look like in Russia how are you confused by this also like do any research You're about to take over Air Force One. Know what the first lady looks like. Know what the little kid looks like. Yeah. I guess maybe they didn't have the internet, you know, yet.

They had newspapers. Micro-fishish. Oh, man, you got micro-fishish. Roll up some of that micro-fishish, man. We're going to smoke that shit, the pod. Hillary, get in there. We're smoking micro-fish. Get the dryer sheets.

Put them on the pod, air vent, man. You're fine. Anyway, we can screen Air Force One and hear that movie fucking rules. Oh, man. This is like an evening I want to experience. Totally, man. I'm going out with Bill Clinton.

Partying on Air Force One. I'll just take a regular old plane. It doesn't even have to be Air Force One. Hey, Steve, hook in that Black Lab, brother. I got a bunch of cool mushroom posters I want to show you. sir this is delta so we basically have our setup which is Harrison Ford is Bruce Willis and he's at like he slinks out and it's like oh the president wasn't in the pot after all no shit and all immediately people we go to the situation room where uh you have

vice president Glenn Close and uh what that is the dean stockwell he's the what the secretary Defend. I think he's sec-deaf Dean Stockwell. I like that idea. I like, you know, I like this little cast. I love Dean Stockwell. Dean Stockwell's a legend. He's awesome in this movie. I mean, so is Glenn Close. Absolutely. She's great. This is a deep cast. This was when you could get, and this is interesting, because this is a summer blockbuster. I mean, I don't know if it came out in the summer, but like it's a blockbuster movie.

No, it was a summer blockbuster movie. Was it? Was it summer, though? Yeah. So, but like this was, you could get these like deep-ass casts for these kind of wild movies before we had like now where it's like, you know, and actually the greatest example is Independence Day

versus Independence Day Resurgence, where, like, one movie had, like, a ton of noted actors in it or, like, you know, famous faces. And the second one is, like, starring a bunch of dead-eyed kids. I mean, we just didn't have a deep cast bench. You know what I mean? And TV wasn't a thing yet. You know what I mean?

Or TV was a thing, but, like, not everybody had their own TV. Paul Giamatti would be in this movie. He wouldn't be on a TV show. Are you, you're making it sound like these dead-eyed kids in Independence Day with Surgeon had, has, have a TV career. Did they? No, I just. I mean, like, your B-grade actors are on television.

Right. They're not on, like, you're Brian Cranston, you know what I mean? Like, you're Bob Odenkirk's. The rest of the cast are breaking bad. But you know what I mean? Like, these people could and should be in the war room being like, oh, I don't know if the press on, just got to get off that plane. You know what I mean?

Like, that's a Mike the cleaner, like on the phone in the situation room. Stop smoking weed in the escape pod, Walter. I went in there, it smelled like a Crosby, Stills, and Nash concert. That's right. I don't turn out for Neil Young. So, but the funny, the weird thing about this movie is, like, so the first part of it, we're like, oh, is the president gone? Is he not on the plane?

Whoops, we find out he's on the plane. But, like, immediately, he cannot be the president, and he cannot actually, like, the second you realize he's held hostage, any in all orders he's making, are completely null and void. Right. But he is not... The vice president is in control of the country.

The second year compromised in any way. Yes. In any way. It should... But that's the weird thing that's... I keep wanting to call him

Sam Rockwell, which is stupid. Dean Stockwell, he's arguing with Glenn Close about like who should be in charge, him or her. And it's something about like... He's trying to get a military coup going.

He kind of is because it's not like a... a health thing or whatever. It's a military thing, so it goes into his courts and now he's the president. And that's why we get like Philip Baker Hall in this movie as like a constitution expert or some shit. Not enough Philip Baker Hall in this movie. He comes in like well over an hour into the movie. He's like the attorney general or something? No, I think he's just like a constitutional scholar. That's what I thought he was supposed to be. There was some line like get the eternal general to look at the constitution. Oh, so he's the attorney general and he's a

I feel like you got Philbaker Hall. He's got to have a position, like a post. Right, right, right. But, you know. Or he's a degenerate gambler. I don't know. I was just betting on the Constitution. Or he's a library cop.

Oh, shit. Yeah. Bookman. But so like the president starts killing people, right? Left and right. He's dieharding people. What else is new? But with his bare hands, Eric, that's the difference.

That's the difference. Yeah. That's why we need. That's why we need that. international thunder dome yeah bring me that fucking Turkish oil wrestling exactly throw a chainsaw in the middle of the fucking thing anybody notice who one of the the bat the one of the first bad easy kills is is it the dude from Beverly Hills Coffrey it's wishmaster man it's Harrison Ford v. Wishmaster oh

right the evil gin himself yes he gets in like a fucking fight with this dude and then eventually murders him he breaks his neck the president is breaking necks that's pretty That's pretty great. It's like if Gerard Butler became the president. He can't. He's a Scottish National. Oh, that's right. Actually, speaking of Wish, that was a stupid thing you read on the Tribune about this

of like alternate casting ideas beside Harrison Ford. They're dropping Arnold Schwarzenegger in there. Which would have been amazing. Come on. Yeah, but like, then you're just going to have to have something about there was like an amendment that said that like, you know, foreign born people can become president of the United States. He was born in like a German commune somewhere, sort of like Amish. Oh, yeah.

my Rumspringer and then I ran for president. I was born in Idaho the next day that went to Germany for 14 years and now look at me now. Sorry. Actually, that's an angle. Like, I was an army brat.

I was living in Germany for so long. Oh, yeah, that could be. I mean, it would make no sense. Oh, I would still. Gary Olman's looking on the ship and then Arnold Schwarzenegger is just naked, covered in mud up against the wall. It's like, I could see you like very clearly.

you're right there. Oh, no, his heat vision is working. He could see my pecker. Here's a question speaking to Gary Oldman. What is with all the screaming? Oh, he's losing his mind. When he finds out the president isn't on board, he loses it. He's like yelping.

This is 90s, Gary Oldman, you know? Like, this is Leon the professional era. Yeah, oh, yeah. It's amazing. He's just screaming at the top of his lungs for this whole movie. It's kind of great. Well, apparently, like, you know what William Peterson

called this Wolfgang Peterson not William Peterson not speaking of CSI He should play a president Oh yeah President Peterson man Hey I'm the president That's that's what he'd say

What kind of colognes this guy have I got a real sick fuck here President Russia is a real sick fuck What kind of cologne is you got What did you do to them The President of the Russia Did you make them watch it Did you make her watch it

God. You wanted her to see it, didn't you? Oh, the president of Russia, he wanted her to see it. Pousin, you fuck. What was the last time you watched that movie? Manhunter, like, two years ago. Yeah, I'm due for a rewatch, man. I love that movie.

Me too. Oh, you wanted her to see it. How'd you make her see it? Now, here's something. I just looked at my notes real quick, and it's one of these things where sometimes I just write down dialogue and that I don't remember where it's from.

Why is it someone says, play with this guy's balls? What? Does anybody remember that? No way. This is a private conversation we had. I thought it was in confidence. It's in quotes.

Someone says in this movie, play with this guy's balls. It was like one of the generals or something that was like after Gary Olman makes his like his demands or whatever, he's just like I'll be playing like catch with this guy's balls. Oh, that, yeah. Oh, okay, yeah. Thank you.

See, I'm not crazy. Slash I wasn't accidentally watching pornography. Oh, wow. Hey, who's going to be playing with my balls? of the escape pod, brother. Oh, man, put some credence on while you play with my balls in the escape pod. I ran the country for eight years. Try to guess how many times I've been completely new to Air Force One?

Answer all of them. I don't know, Barr. Trying to give 42 some advice. He told me to play with his balls. you know i i i give him an olive branch bar you know like he gave me a hard on back showed me sent me a polaroid of his wiener bar couldn't believe it bar the uh the shaft was the branch and he had paint i can't do it and he had painted his balls green you know hey hilary i painted my balls and sent a picture to 41 he he he he he he

He gave me, he pushed his boner against my thigh bar. And it was a joke. He said it was a joke. I wish someone would push a boner against my thigh. Emperor Reagan, man. That's what the amazing thing is imagining Air Force One with literally any president. Any president. Is it always the same airplane?

Do we change that out? I think we must. Yeah. Are we like putting new carpet? it down? Because it would be just some chit-se 70s nightmare if it wasn't. Well, you're redoing the interior, but I guess the technology has to be upgraded. Yeah, it's probably not the same airplane. I'm sure like every eight years or something. And I'm sure some Air Force One scholar will tweet at us the correct answer. You made a mistake by getting

on my plane. Now let's play, who's going to forget first? Everyone knows I'm a robot. A 20,000 feet Dementia. Wait, what? Mommy. Oh, you know, I was never nude in the escape pod once, once.

It was a waste of time. Oh, man, you know what would be a cool movie? It's the president in space, obviously, right? Sure, space president. Space president, but it's like we're aliens sleeping in sleep pods and shit. Oh, yes. I'm going to sleep now, Mommy.

The computer's name is Mommy. Oh, yes. Instead of mother? Yeah. Oh, God, damn it, that's awesome. That would be great. And then there's an alien in space. Right, it's an acronym.

Everyone calls you mother, but I call you Mommy. The first M just stand for not machine stands for mommy. I've never been nude anywhere. But yeah, like, how, all right, let's, let's go through, we'll go from Nixon on, how many terrorists on a plane could they take out of their own volition?

Okay, Nixon's zero. No, Nixon was what, he would bite you. He would actually, I think he would do well, he's feisty, because he's like, oh, I'm going to get your throat. Oh, the Democrats came at me guns blazing. Archibald Cox, you're not going to take this plane. Oh, they forgot to frisk me. I always have a leg iron.

on me. Blam! Blam! Blam! Because I just feel like he was always packing heat at all times. Oh, yeah, dude. Because if Richard Milhouse Nixon had not become a shitty president of the United States, he would have been some dude who was like doing money drops for the mafia problem. Yes, precisely.

That Quaker son of a bitch. So then we get Ford, and I feel Ford, he'd be chokeslamming people. Left and right, I'm going to take out all these motherfuck. Get the fuck over here. He's a football player. He's a football player. Yeah, it's like the undertaker. He's like the Undertaker as president.

Totally. I've got a tombstone pile driver on you, you motherfucking terrorist. Your head is now a pigskin. Casket match. Oh, no, I fell over and got shot in the head. See, that would be his downfall. He trips and a terrorist gets it.

A literal downfall. So we've got that. Then we're going to go Carter, not doing too well with Carter. Can't we all just talk about this or what? No, he's dead. Blamo. Yeah, that's the end of that.

That's a definite, no, that's a guaranteed zero, unless there's an accidental, like, technically that terrorist killed himself accidentally, but Carter was like, strike one for me, boys. Choked on a peanut. But I think, all right, so then after Carter, we get Reagan. Reagan, I mean, he's not doing shit. No, he's too old. He's too old. Like, you know, back in the old, you know, the pictures. Right, back in the westerns. Yeah, you'd be punching everybody.

I'm going to bring a horse on Air Force One. I played a cowboy, mommy. Well, it's just like, I am secret service agent. Are you, Bill? Yes, I am Bill. You'd appreciate this, Steve. I watched an old Ronald Reagan movie where he starred with Errol Flynn called Desper Journey,

and he's taken hostage or something by Nazis, and they ask him like, oh, are you American or whatever? And he's like, half American, half Jersey City. Oh, nice. Yeah, so Reagan had some moments in the picture shows. Yeah, but I think Zero. He's just too old. It's a total zero.

Then we're going to go I feel like HW would take out no less than five fucking people. Oh yeah, he's breaking necks left and right. I mean, because he's killed people with his bare hands before. Yeah, CIA director. Yeah, dude, you can't run the company

unless you're fucking breaking next. I think like they probably like bring you one a year like you as like the strong leader. Right. And it's just to like keep you sharp. Yeah. Just keep you sharp. They throw it.

It's like getting thrown in with like a lion. Exactly. it's like gladiator dude you just got to fucking kill that oh totally that's definitely happens he's like oh wow it's the first of april already huh fellas bring him in and they throw a lion into the oval office and he's got to choke it out yeah i feel like i feel like hw would land the plane he was that wily and that oh totally and honestly if this if air force won the movie starred george herbert walker bush as this president this movie would be under an hour and a half because he would

decimate these fuckers. Toot sweet land that plane with time for dinner. Now I'm, can we get a sick Doom mod, which is just, uh, H.W on Air Force 1, like just shooting down terrorists. I would love that. I would love that. So Clinton.

Clinton, like two. I don't know. Maybe one. It would be like like how Chris Farley kills people in Beverly Hills Ninja. How was that again? Goofishly. I mean, at best. You know, I don't think W is doing shit.

Hey, Poppy, can you kill some of these guys or what? Yeah, I don't know, man. And he wasn't that big either. Like, he's just... No, he's just... He's a little weasily. Like, maybe one again. Like, you gotta give him one for the element of surprise.

He's probably got, like, a little Swiss army knife on him at all time. So it's just like... He's, like, jabbing at him. And, like, in his brain, like, Poppy's just like, remember W? Remember what I taught you, man? The finger trick, how you kill a man with your thumbs. And he's just like, I don't know, I wasn't paying attention. Hey, Poppy, does that mean I got to sit on my thumb?

I don't remember the thumb trick. He's like talking to his hallucination and the Russians are like, Bob. I'm not the president. I'm Air National Guard. Move along. Move along. Then Obama, like. I think he would do all right.

He'd do all right. He's a big dude. Yeah, got a good. Better shape in most presidents. Definitely. He'd be the closest to like president fist fight. Definitely. He could be a president punch.

President punch, that's what it was. And then of course we've got. Well, it would just be a striking heart attack after trying to lay the first blow. I feel it's the idea there. Well, he would be looking for, Where's the escape pod? That was a movie.

Wait. That's our power rankings. That's the presidential power rankings of who could take out how many terrorists on Air Force. So Gary Oldman killed. So like, what do you call it? Of course, because it's a diehard type thing. We need to be talking to people on phones.

So like the president finds some phone and he's like looking through these instructions on how to work this satellite cell phone. It's a great. While that's happening, the NSA director gets killed. Oh, right. Oh, yeah. And he's like, how do you do that goddamn controls? He's trying to use.

I think we had this portable phone in my house in the 90s. Like, it doesn't even look like a sat phone. It just looks like a phone that was in our kitchen. And it runs out of battery power just as fast. And he gets caught by some guy. And, like, he's calling the White House. And he's, like, giving them instructions while he's being, like, taken away. Yeah.

And it's this stupid thing where Glenn Close, like, they're all listening to him and whatnot. And Glenn Close is like, shut up, shut up. He's talking to us. The president is giving us orders. and like the idea is if you shoot missiles or whatever at Air Force One the security guidance system

will like make it turn I don't know Yeah dude might as well I don't know if any of this technology exists I mean you know Air Force One experts right in Let me know how much of this is fool By the way

Whatever you think you're an expert in Air Force One That's fake bullshit you got Fed a line You got Fed a line by who Yeah just you know name them I think there was actually, there was a special on Netflix, just one of those like... Fake? Well, it's, no. What it was like crazy like UFOs on the moon?

Oh, the Air Force One came here from outer space. No, no, no, no. See, it's not the ancient aliens type show. It was just a thing that was like, here's a tour of Air Force One. And it was like the history of Air Force One or whatever. I fell asleep watching it pretty quickly. Did it give you a kill count to how many people got murdered on it? It was a pretty cool tour of the escape.

pod, though. They were, like, the little documentarian went in and he was like smells like weed and McDonald's in here. Sidebar, you ever see the Pope's plane? No. I saw picks of the Pope's plane. This might have been Ratzenberger era or whatever the fuck. Oh, Pope John Ratzenberger?

Whatever the last guy was, Palpatine. Yeah. But like there's like a sweet-ass bed. Benedict, you're thinking no. Yeah, yes, yes. Benedict Cumberbatch. Well, his name was like Ratsch. John Ratzenberger was. Yeah, became Pope Benedict. Exactly. Hey, uh, Nomi, you want to come to Vatican City? Oh, man, no, John Ratsenberger, A, will be in any

movie anywhere. Sure. See, Crooked Pope. John Ratsenberger, Crooked Pope. Isn't he, like, I'm doing like dog movies now or something? Yeah, he was in our, uh, our favorite movie there, Russell Madness, remember? That's what I'm thinking of. But I think he's been in more since then. Yeah, I think he's just a dog actor now. Or, or talking. He's a dog actor. Or talking ape, dude. He does not discriminate. Oh, shit. Dude, he would be great in like war of the planet of the apes or something.

Oh, totally. It's truly going to be a planet of the apes. Hey, Nami, look at all these planet of the apes. I'm bummed, man. I got the invite to the exhibitor screening. Can't make it. Oh, no. Sucks.

I'm kind of excited for it. It might have came out by now. You're listening to this island. That's true. I'll tell you what, though, got that confirmed runtime. We're talking two hours and 20 minutes. That's every movie. That's literally every movie.

It's insane. In the summer, it's got to be two weeks. 22nd. Fucking crazy. So, yeah, like, so... We fire the missiles at the plane. The plane knocks over. I think at this point, like, we don't know

who's causing the thing. It's like, oh, I think it's a Secret Service agent. So, like, Gary Olman's like, well, I've seen Die Hard. Hold on. I've seen Die Hard before. They suspect that there's, like, a rogue secret service agent in, like, the belly of the plane

who's fucking with it. Because they don't know that it's the president. And he keeps dispatching one guy at a time. One guy goes down. One guy goes down. Well, you've got to be patient. The president goes nuts. He starts cutting up a summer camp of sexy teens.

That would be awesome. Waring one of them as a, like a mask, like one of their faces. You shouldn't have let me drown, mommy. Now you have to die. He would be, Reagan would be an amazing serial killer because of the mommy shit. Oh, yeah, creepy is all fucked. He's like fucking psycho. Yes, dude.

Who at this camp is having unprotected sex? I'll put a stop to that. A boy's best friend is his mommy. What's that? It sounds like a deranged old man. Shut up, baby. Keep smoking it up. Nothing's going to happen.

So, like, Gary Oldman likes using the intercom on Air Force One quite a bit. Yeah. Mostly to instill fear on people, but there's this crazy thing where he broadcast. Dinner's ratty. That's why the intercom was used in my house. Oh, you had an intercom in your house? Briefly. People,

why was it brief? I don't know. Probably they always broke. It might have been my, it might be just my fragmented memory of, like, my tortured past. I might be just remembering movies. My buddy had an intercom, but it was broken. It was like, I feel like everyone who had an intercom, like, in the 80s, you'd build it.

I think we got it in like the mid-80s and then by the mid-90s, they just took it out. I think I also had a friend. There was an intercom in the house, and it was the coolest thing ever, except it was totally broken. Yeah. But so, Gary. Barry Oldman, he's fucking fed up with not having his demands met. And this is kind of like a brutal scene. They bring back that like peppy PR representative.

And he's like, all right, I'm going to shoot her right in the face. If you don't give me, you know, whatever it is. And he's also like, this is to the man who is killing my men under the plane. I will fucking shoot this woman in the head. Oh, that's right. He's like trying to coax Harrison Ford out of hiding. Which is, I mean, like, so much of this movie is like, I don't negotiate with terrorists. I shall never give in, and I'm a fucking man, right?

And, like, at the end of the movie, he totally fucking buckles like a belt, and it kind of destroys that whole part of the movie. He lets this woman get shot in the fucking hand. She's, like, screaming for her mother and all this shit. It's brutal. And it's broadcast all over the plane. And everyone's like, oh, man, that sucks.

And it's just like, ooh, that sucks. Oh, glad we're all stuck in this room with William H. Macy. Ooh. Moving along, Harrison Ford moves into this room. He finds, like, this woman. who lets him know how to get a fax going. Oh, fax lady is the hero of this movie. Fax lady does not get enough credit in this movie.

So they're like, the president eventually, like, reveals himself. Like, he goes into the room where everybody's hanging out. And it's like, oh, they cut the phone lines or whatever. We can't get word to. Or he's like, my fucking battery on my phone died. And this lady's like, no, sir, the fax machine is on a different line. And odds are they probably missed it. So, like, he's trying to send this code to them.

to like go down to a certain altitude at a certain speed because this is the most ridiculous action set piece in this movie I think. They're like, we have to do this mid-air refuel because Harrison Ford dumps all the fuel out of the plane so they're like, all right, we're going to send a fueling plane to you and this is like where you have to get to and this and that and blah, blah, blah. This thing is such a fucking bungled disaster.

Hundreds of people die. Well, not how to like 10 to 12 people are just shocked. So much death happens right. right here. But also, like, Gary Oldman is not, here's two things. One, why is Zander Berkeley undercover the whole movie? That doesn't make any sense. You need dudes with guns. You need, you are very low on people holding guns at people. Especially when people start getting taken out by President Punch. Yeah, exactly. And Zander Berkeley is just like, it's just like sitting on his hands waiting for like this monologue that's going to happen

in the last act, which actually never happens. And it bothers me that you have no idea why his allegiance is with Gary Oldman. Like, it's never. explained. He's just a crooked circuit service agent for no reason. It needs to be explained. Yeah. And so the whole thing is like, you know, William H. Macy says, if you can get to this altitude and reduce to this speed, we have a shit ton of parachutes on board and we can get all these people off of the plane. So there's this whole scheme to trick Gary Oldman into thinking he's just going to get all this gas and they're going to get everybody off and whatever. And he like, I don't know, there's like a security camera or something. Oh, because that thing goes off. And it's like, oh, the fucking back of the plane opened. Like, of course an alarm is going to go off for that. it's like parachute ramp open apparently it's actually well this is another thing that's not actually on Air Force 1 yeah a bunch of parachutes

no like cargo yeah I was just like no parachute oh man where's the parachute ramp oh man the only way you're going to get high is in the escape pod with me I'm going to work very hard to ensure that people have golden parachutes I'm not talking about urine

I'm talking about a lot of money so they're hard fucking people out the back of Air Force One, and you see, it's kind of my favorite shot in the movie, is a fax machine lady's just like, I did it, I got off Air Force One. Like, it's, because it's all these anonymous extras jumping out of this plane, and then fax machine lady gets her little close up. But where is fax machine lady touching down in hostile territory? Like, you know what happens these people? Well, we don't know where we are. We're between somewhere between Russia and Kazakhstan. I guess we're like doing a loop. I think they're, like, getting dumped into, like, the Red Sea or something. I think it's a Caspian scene. Yeah, you're totally right.

Yeah, it is the Caspian. I'm sure she just gets her head cut off in the woods. Yes. Most likely. Like, something bad's happened. So, Gary Oldman, like, gets hip to it, and it's this whole fuck-around thing in where the gas tube, like, pulls out of Air Force One, and it scrapes against the side of it or something shit. And there's a spark, and the fucking hose cap.

catches fire and this whole fueling plane just goes up. That guy can't even get a prayer out. That guy is like, our fault, just nothing. It's outrageous. Did not see that comment. You did not see a comment. And of course it happens when Harrison Ford's like hanging out the back of the airplane. The first of a couple times he does that in this movie.

But the funny thing is like our A1, like you should have got out the escape pod because literally you're just putting everyone else's life in danger and the country. that and that's like sort of like what's beaten down into you when you're the president they sit down with you like look you're you're not just one man blah blah blah I imagine I mean imagine no they don't do this I think isn't that the speech they give you when they give you the fucking the phone of the bunker and everything

it's like you are not one man you represent millions of people they sat Trump down and when you said like they go A1 okay and he's just like very good steak sauce the best steak sauce could I have that well done bird to a crisp I want a little

meat chip. It's going to be, I want it to look like a French fry consistency. Then it pans up and it's like Homer Simpson like the barnyard animals playing music, playing the fucking jug. I had a legitimate laugh at the start of this whole scheme when fax machine lady like, you know, it makes her big reveal. Harrison Ford goes, if this works, I'm going to make you Postmaster General, fucking great line. What if that happens? Like, oh, why isn't there this new lady as a postmaster?

Oh, she got the president up. Why is the post office disbanding? Like, what is this debacle? Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait. Fax machine lady? Wait, that's what he called her? What is this? Fax machine lady is now post office lady.

Says I, President Punch, I pay to play. I'm playing with fax machine lady. But the funny thing is, so like, they catch him at this point. and like he's abducted by Gary Oldman and like everyone's freaking out back at the White House and the press gets wind of it and like basically Glenn Close is like everybody

hi I want you all to pray for Air Force One are you kidding me like you don't go live until you've got the president in hand or he's dead there's no middle ground well they get fucked over though because this dude comes in and he's like somehow CNN's reporting that Air Force One crashed Fake news. And they're like, that's fake news.

CNN, Jimicasta, of course, they got it wrong again. Well, in this situation is right, that is fake news. Yeah, it is. Because you see Glenn Close and she's like, oh, fuck. So they have to like try to get out in front of it somehow. Yeah. And the plan, well, so like this press secretary goes out. This guy's fucking spicering all over the place.

So then Glenn Close, like, gets up there. She's like, get out of the way, dummy. And she gives the speech. But yeah, pray for Air Force One. How about fucking just fix it? it. I'm not going to do anything. I'm going to stay glued to my television. I heard Jeb could fix it.

Oh, right. Please save Air Force One. Please. I feel like Jeb could take that. Jeb's a pretty tall dude. Pretty beefy? Well, yeah, the problem is the beef might hold them back a little bit. He's a biter, just like his idol Nixon.

Oh, yeah, that's true. Yeah, dude. Yeah, I don't know. I think he would do, he might do, I think he would do better than W. Yeah, he would. I know some people would think maybe the eye. opposite, but I think he would do better. Under distress, I think a Jeb would

fight. I feel like Christie would like bowling ball a bunch of people. Like you'd just go bha, down a hallway, and like five to ten people would fall down. Dude, he'd do the thud butt fucking bangorang. He'd fucking roll down a ramp. Yeah, he'd fucking suffocate someone with his tits, but

man, funny enough, we'll never see him be president. No, not at all. Or anything else ever again. Maybe a lobbyist. Yeah, oh yeah, totally. He's going the fucking Howard Dean Rout for sure. The pizza burger lobby. You know, everybody's ordering the twin burger at diners. Everybody, you know, there's way too much of that.

We need some more pizza burgers and diners. It's mozzarella cheese on a hamburger with some bad tomato sauce. Your impression of Chris Christie is way tougher than Chris Christie has ever sounded. Yes, it's true. So this next couple of scenes is basically just like Gary Oldman and Harry and Harrison Ford like slap fighting and shit. But they're just beating the shit head of the president of the United States. It's kind of awesome.

It's pretty cool. But it got me thinking because I'm watching Gary Oldman and he's like shoving Harrison Ford's face up against a bulk head and like kicking him in the stomach and shit. You know what? Gary Oldman would have made a really cool Indiana Jones villain. Oh yeah.

Oh, big time. How cool would that have been? He's just some like maniacal scientist or whatever. Would it be better than Kate Blanchett, I think. I think she was good The movie was bad, but yeah, the movie was bad But I feel like She was maybe too good for it

I feel like Gary Olin would have chewed it a little better Maybe a little more pulpy You're totally right She's not chewing it She's just being a great actor Gary Oldman would be like Oh I get it this is garbage Exactly what you need

Like he's doing in this movie But then you have where it was Oh I oh oh You know You can't act next to that That's right yeah I was just lying about being a jabo President Punch.

I'll have a double pizza burger. Oh, we got, Ray Woods don't ask Chris Christy. Oh, fuck. That needs to happen. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Actually, or Howie Mandel in a fat suit. That's good, too. Either question, how clean is that fat suit?

It's got to be dirty. No, it's going to be extra clean. Because Howie Mandel's got crazy OCD in germophobia. Oh, that's too bad. You're putting that thing through a car wash at the end of every shoot day. I didn't know he was that mentally disabled He's he's he's hardcore with that dude He will not like shake hands with people and stuff Which is kind of funny because Howard Stern used to fuck with him

On America's got talent with that all the time Of course Put a used condom in his fucking Pepsi I didn't say he fucking slung it at him Like his slugged Migs That's probably where the rubber glove bit came from Like he just had it

And they're like howie what are you doing with that rubber glove Because like he was like afraid to open the back I thought it was like, oh, and then he put it over his head. He's like, oh, that's funny. And I really like we could also acknowledge now that that was a terrible bit. Yeah. And he should apologize. That was a fucking comedy crime.

Seriously, like, fuck, it was easier back then. The Amazing Jonathan pretended to drink windshield wiper fluid or whatever. Windex. That's a little more of an art. Speaking of the Amazing Jonathan, can I tell you something? magician related that happened to me. I had a dream last night that I was hanging out with Penn Gillette.

Okay. And it was pretty cool because he was just like he was like doing a magic trick in front of me, but it was like wizard dream magic. Like it wasn't a real magic trick. And I was like, this is the coolest thing ever. And then I woke up and I was like, oh man, I wasn't hanging out with Pend Gillette. You're the first person to ever feel that.

I'd love to hang out with those dudes. That'd be awesome. Oh man, I had a Pend Gillette last. night. I think it would be a lot of fun, dude. They are Vegas royalty, those two. I had a dream not long ago that I was hanging out with Kyle McLaughlin.

Oh, fuck. That's even better. I was like, put me back under. You know, like flatliner me or something. You see the remake in that? Really? The remake and Flatliners. I don't know if it's a movie

or if it's a TV show. I just saw this IMDB thing that was like, here's a trailer for Flatliners. And I was like, no, thank you. Good day. You know, not enough medical students. these days are experiencing the afterlife via killing themselves for brief periods of time.

Totally. If you're listening right now and you are part of the medical studies community. Please. You guys trying to flatline or what? Right into the mailbag, we all hate movies at gmail.com. I would like to hear about the afterlife and if you saw some little shit heel

in a red hoodie. Oh yeah. Or Kiefer Sutherland at all? Yeah. Or a totally out of her element, Julia Roberts. Yeah, she doesn't belong in that movie. Oh, Oliver Platt. Yeah, oh, that's, flatliners is an Oliver Platt movie. He could play a president.

Oh, absolutely. How has he not? That's unfortunate. Well, it's a sad. Nukum. But that's what I want in a president. So, they finally, he finally, it takes forever for this movie to get there. It's like, they put a gun to the little girl's head.

He's like, release General Reddick right now. I mean, that's fucking step one, Gary Olman. Exactly. Just get to it. And she's like, I will kill one hostage every 30 minutes. It's like, great. Why don't you put a gun to the fucking first daughter's head and say, I will blow her brains out? Exactly.

And then I'll do the wife after that. And then everyone's like, all right, take the general because that's like a PR nightmare. Yeah, you don't start with the losers. Yeah. You start with the most important hostage and work your way backwards. So they call Moscow and they let this dude out. And it's like, why? Why would you ever do that?

At least like lie about it. But I guess, though, Gary Oldman's got people, like, inside the prison. He's got people on the ground or something. That's very ill-defined. But, like, again, like, he lets this woman die. This woman gets shot in the fucking head. He starts to cry and say, don't put that gun to them, my little girl. Yeah, I mean, like, yeah, I know.

He's a dad and all that stuff. But, like, come on. Come on. Or, and also, like, he tells Glenn Close what to do. And, like, Dean Stockwell, rightfully is like, well, we can't do this. Like, that's, sorry, some dudes are lucky and some ain't. You know what I mean? Like, that's how that shit works.

it's fucked up because Stockwell gets all these signatures to like enact the whatever. I don't know if he's trying to get the 25th Amendment in play or what's going on. But he's like, hey, Glenn Close. I think it was a birthday card. I don't know. I think it was like, hey, Sam,

we got to declare that the president is mentally capacitated in order for you to leap. Oh, I'm going to sheet. Oh, boy. Hey, speaking to which, I got to tell you, I've been secretly watching Star Trek Enterprise a little bit here and there. It's not great, but it's like Star Trek I haven't seen before.

Did you get to the Nazis yet? No. There's alien Nazis. Sure. I mean, that's not shocking. There's alien Nazis in every Star Trek. I believe Hitler takes over New York City in that show.

I'm going to keep watching. The aliens help him. There's an episode recently that I watched where this dude turns out to be a time traveler from like 900 years in the future. And he's like talking to Scott Bacula about time travel. And I wanted Scott Bacula to be like,

I know about time travel. I know a little something. to me about fucking time travel Quantum Leap is a great show I wish Glenn Close is like dealing with Dean Stockwell she's no I'm not going to sign the thing you know the president it's still the president and then she looks in a mirror and she looks exactly

like Scott Backel in a dress That'd be amazing It would be a great twist And it's just Glenn Close's voice just goes Oh boy It would be so good God that would be great So but she doesn't they let out Radick

Who is Yergen Prochnine Who doesn't out he's like a silent performer in this Totally no dialogue in this movie The Tramp himself and we'll be dancing together at the Anaguru ball. Well, I also love that he has to, like, sign his stuff. Like, it takes him forever to get out of this. It's in the opening scene of the Blues Brothers.

One prophylactic used. It's outrageous. I'm like, just let this guy out of jail. It's taking forever. It's really taking a long time. Like, you know what? He doesn't have to sign for his things. He's being pardoned by the president with a gun to his head.

Exactly. Let's just let him go. So, Then while that's all happening, I think that has to take so long because at the same time, now is the big Gary Oldman, Harrison Ford, and the first lady fight at the, again, on this cargo loading part of the plane. Harrison Ford, like, uses a piece of broken glass to cut out of his electrical tape. He shoots the pilot in the head, and then they start, you know, rassling around.

Really going for it. And we get the big fight, and he, you know, this is, he wraps the parachute around Gary oldman's neck. It's the very famous Get Off My Plain. Get Off My Plain. That's audio directly from the movie. It's actually, I didn't remember this going.

Hey, Harrison Ford, who is your favorite comedy director? Director David Wayne. Hey, Harrison Ford. Who is your favorite star of Deadwood? Irish actor Ian McShane. What's your favorite Cypress Hill song? Insane. Insane. in the membrane.

But who's your actual favorite hip-hop artist? T. Pay. Yeah, right. Hey, Harrison Ford, what's your drug of choice? Mary Jane. Oh, definitely. Without fucking question.

Look at him on Conan O'Brien ever. I would love to be in that room. Oh, man, we're fucking lighting up in here. Harrison get the pod, brother. Isn't it kind of weird? that I was actually president for eight years but you were kind of a better president in that movie one time

yeah dude Harrison Ford who built Clinton smoking weed together what a fucking treasure that has to have happened at least once you think so? Yeah oh yeah Wow

release the tapes Yo, does that dude who played Chewbacca smell weird or what? I'm just imagining that, what's it, Peter May, yeah, Peter May, you. I love that he's checking his back during this high conversation. I believe he just, he just seems like a guy that kind of smells like Greek food all the time. Like sake sauce, you know what I mean? Where it's kind of sour, but it smells pretty good. Yeah, that.

boy smells like yogurt and chives. I feel like at this point Harrison Ford has tuned him out. Oh yes. Oh, Harrison Ford has resorted to watching whatever is on TV. Closed circuit television. Yeah, yeah, yeah, all right, yeah. Hey, man, once this thing lands, how about we go outside and you show me how to use a whip? No reason.

Oh, whatever. But the cool thing is that I didn't remember was not only does he get tossed out the plane, but it's like neck break. Oh, it's beautiful. And you get to see a parachute is open and he's like just dead in a parachute. It kind of mimics the fax machine lady shot. Oh, dude, it's like the case of a fax machine lady gets stranded in the middle of the wilderness. And then this fucking dead terrorist drops down Gary Oldman.

And now it's just Swiss Army, man. Man, that's a great movie. Oh, my God. Gary Olman's just fucking farting everywhere and fax machine ladies dragging them around. Jesus, that would be cool. It would be amazing. Let's think about doing that.

Sure. That should be like a sequel we make like fucking 50 years after however long it's been since this movie came out. Which I did see. By the way, anyone see this in theaters? No, I did.

I did not. I did not. I was excited. And I was bummed. because my mom is a huge Harrison Ford fan. Who is it? And I think she saw it in theaters without me. Oh, wow.

Yeah. My family didn't go to the movies together, though. I can tell you exactly how many times I've been to the movie theater with my mother. You ready for this? The Lion King, live action Casper, Mulan Rouge, Royal Tenenbaum. And that's not counting like a couple of trips to the drive-in, But that is the amount of times we saw movies and theaters together.

Wow. Yeah. Yeah. I saw a lot of movies with my mother. Boys' boys' best friend is his mom. Mommy, let's go to the movies. Mommy, thank you for taking me to Pope Fiction when I was 11 years old. Oh, I love it. So envious. Yeah, this was a rental.

But it was like a, I knew what this movie was and was bummed I didn't see it. Sure. So it was like the second that shit was out at Blockbuster. It was like they had the poster up, like, getting ready, for it to come out. And I was like, today's the day. Let's go this Friday for Harrison Ford. And you got the wall

of tapes? The wall of fucking tapes. Dude, wasn't that a glorious experience? Love the wall of tapes. It was kind of nice. So Gary Oldman's dead, but we got like 45 minutes left of this movie. Somehow, it's like, oh, how are we going to land the plane? You can't do that, though. You can't do that. Well, here's the thing. You could do how are we going to land the plane?

And that's a fine little thing to have to put a button on the movie. It was like, well, you landed, Mr. President. Congratulations. Welcome to Antarctica. Or whatever the fuck. Now there's fighter pilots on their tail. It's like, what's our box is the end of Top Gun? I guess. And then there's also like, I feel like...

Remember how at the end of Top Gun World War III starts and we just kind of forget about it? Well, maybe that's going to be addressed in Top Gun 2. Wow, it's like post-apocalyptic. Dude, what a fucking turn for Top Gun 2. You had just fucking retitle oblivion to Top Gun 2. Because like Top Gun ends and it's like, hey, you know, Tom Cruise, you're not all that bad. You just pass Top Gun. Oh, by the way, there's this like the Russians are in Migs and we're.

to have a dog fight right now over wherever the fuck. That movie does end on a sequel set up. I need to rewatch that movie because also it's like... Well, you got to get ready for Top Gun 2. Exactly. That only... But we had proxy wars with the Russians.

I heard rumors. Uh-huh. That there were American fighter pilots. It was Israeli jets and Russians in Egyptian jets. Oh, really? That's a movie. That is a movie. Wow. And it's called proxy. And it's better than that horror movie that was proxy. So, um, the fighter pilot

are coming, and then some Americans come and start, like, fighting for the Americans. The best shot in any movie is an F-15 taking a missile for the president, not unlike a Secret Service agent. It's outrageous, and nobody gives a fuck.

In this sequence, they doubled down on the get-off my plane because they were like, I think that's going to be the big line of the movie, but maybe, let me try this on for size. Wait, let me just try this Wolfgang. get them off my tail what you and yes that is rightfully what you're highlighting but right before that when these uh u.s fighter pilots show up there is a line that I feel like was Harrison Ford just

fucking around and Wolfgang Peterson was like yeah that's fucking funny let's keep the scenes because he's he's flying the plane so it's a lot like Han Solo and he turns around like his his daughter and wife are behind him and William H. Macy's being co-pilot so he's the Chewbacca in the situation. And like, I'm William H. Macy's Chewbacca. I'm the littlest Chewbacca. Fargo's not a planet.

It's a movie. My Yoda's back there and he's got an ass in his cock. No, so when they say like, oh, Mr. President, we're here or whatever, Harrison Ford turns around to his family and he just goes, ha ha, those guys are here. Yeah. What is that? not a line from an actor are you kidding? I thought he said the good guys. Yeah, no, it's the good guys. Oh, I thought

he said those guys. But still, ha ha, the good guys are here. It's a dumb. It's kind of worse. It's a bit worse. So stupid. That's Trump. Get them off my tail. Oh, yeah. Well, the good guys are here. They've got my ketchup. Well, that's the thing is like, there are so many like applause line. So like once Gary Olman dies like you know Ford gets on the thing. It's like well we've taken back the plane

and everything yeah we did it. Some guys like we've taken back Air Force One like everyone in the room loses their mind and like in the audience I remember like being in the audience people were clapping at this movie oh of course like it was fucking Kramer coming out every four minutes.

Because this movie dude this movie is America fucking kick in some ass and it was when Russia was like comical to us this like brief period where they were comical to us yeah because boris yeltsin was a fucking like crippled alcoholic yeah it was wild times to make fun of russia so um the the plane thing comes to nothing absolutely nothing but like in that fight they the rudder gets blown up and like oh my god we can't land the plane so this other plane comes over and then like zander berkeley's like oh hey i've been in this movie the whole time yeah it's so stupid and basically they're like all right

We're going to, like, zip line everybody. So, like, the rescue plane's above you. We're going to get this, like, you know, little harness down or whatever. And then, like, the rescue plane will go below, and you're just going to, like, shimmy everybody out. And Harrison Ford is still like, no, my daughter first, done my wife. Oh, and this other guy took a bulletproof. The first thing, the guys are like, all right, all right, Navy Seals, this is going to happen. The president's not going to want to get on there.

You have to incapacitate him. He is the first one. He's the first, and maybe the only person that gets off the plane. I don't know. By the way, if you're still watching the movie at this point, you're still watching the movie at this point, this is where you can fall asleep. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

This is the hangover movie where you fall asleep. Yeah, and it just takes forever. It's just ridiculously long. Take this one, that guy goes. It's the wife, then it's the daughter. There was also some guy that did jump in front of a bullet for the president, and he's just still bleeding everywhere, and they're taking him over. I'm like, what?

Throw him off. Come on, buddy, you're injured. This man's injured. And the one guy, rightfully, is like, Mr. President, are you kidding me? And he's like, you fucking do it, Jr.? No. It's like, no, no, no. You have a little, like, you sedate the president and you get him on the thing.

That's how it works. Exactly. So we're going through this whole thing. Oh, you know, I want to be sedated, baby. Let's do it. Bam, bam, bab, bab, bab, ba, ba, ba. I want to be sedated. Hey, do you think you can play the Ramones on the saxophone?

I'm going to try it out. And they're going to go to the Ramstein Air Force Base. Yeah, that's pretty great. Do you hast. Do hast. Do hast mish grfrog. Yeah. I'm going to ask me.

And I said Nix got said. Ooh, this podcast needs subtitles. So, Zander Berkeley

reveals himself and I'm not entirely sure why. I've been thinking about it after you and I were talking about this earlier today and I think the only reason

is because they're basically like, look, we don't have time. Like, this plane is slowly crashing. We only have time for one more person and it's got to be you, Mr. President. And I think this is where

Zander Berkeley is like, no fuck this I'm doing it but also like of course you're not because they'd be like what the fuck are you doing like you're the guy that's gotten away with it all you could have just fucking you know like you didn't have to be disgraced like it didn't go well

your attempted assassination or whatever right but nobody knows because he never revealed himself so he just like buttoned up he should be at this point honestly he should be helping get people off faster and he's kind of just hanging back so then he starts freaking out he kills one of these Air Force dudes

He kills William H. Macy. William H. Macy has the line, which is, like, from another movie, it was like, it was you? And I'm like, I don't even know what your name is, William H. Mason. I barely know what Zandir Berkeley's doing in this movie. Like, I think William H. Macy's a general. That's it.

I think that's his rank in this movie. General, who could know? And then he gets shot and he dies. And then, like, President Punch takes out fucking Zander Berkeley. Yep. And then so he, like, he takes him out, kind of just incapacitates him, really. Yeah. Harrison Ford straps the thing on him.

himself he flies out of the plane and then you see like this bad model of zander berkeley like oh boy as air force one like crashes and rolls over a bunch of times and then cg i was debris was spread over 10 mile radius computer cartoons just splatted everywhere it was crazy and like he just lands on the same like his corpse is next to the corpse of fax machine lady and all the other people that tried to get off that plane because it was just a hostile territory and he gets back on Air Force One. And you know, here's the thing that sucks. This movie just ends. Like, it gets on the plane.

The plane becomes the new Air Force One. That's when you get your last clap line. Yeah, it's like, the presidents aboard, the, you know, FX127 has now become Air Force One. Woo! And everyone likes cheers. By the way. Michael Richards comes every, uh, apparently

Glenn Close was in the script. Her character was supposed to break down in tears and like not be able to handle it. At this moment? Like this moment of victory? No, in the middle, like, when it was getting tough on her. And, like, Glenn Close was like, I'm not doing it. Like, the first time, like, there's ever been, like, a female vice president. Yeah. I'm not going to, like, have her, like, break down in hysterics. Yeah, totally. So, so, yeah, this plane becomes Air Force One, but that's the end of the movie. Listen, I need a

fucking New Hope-esque meddles scene at the end of this thing. Honoring, above all else, fax machine lady. I need to see your coordination as Postmaster General. The president giving himself medals. I guess, and that was also a purple heart there. Medal of freedom, of course. Obviously, I did that too. Killer of the most terrorist, gold medal. All right, Peter Mayhew, you get this for smelling like Greek food.

But instead, we fade to black, and that's kind of the end, which is a real bummer. I kind of feel like this is how you become president for life, right? A, first of all, no one would ever believe this story. If you heard this story, like, this really happens, like, oh, did you hear the the president dispatched of like 40 terrorists on Air Force 1 and saved the day like no, that didn't have. Yeah, that's a...

Alex Jones would call it a false flag. False flat. Well, unless Trump did. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, well then it... Well, you probably had male vitality serum before he went on the plane. That's how he did it. He snorted a cow's stiffened penis bone. Or whatever that

magic is. I guarantee you it's more artificial and crappier than that. Here's a question. I mean, this movie's over. And this movie is super successful. There should have been like three President Punch movies. You know what I mean? This is the first one, Air Force one.

Maybe it's Camp David is another one. Oh, shit. Camp David, definitely. That's where he becomes Jason Vorgies. Well, actually, I mean, because you're right. And then the final one is 1600. It stands for two things, like the address, Pennsylvania Avenue, and also the amount of people he murdered.

I was hoping you were going to say Body Count. I was right there with you. Devil body. But that's, I think... Dude, the movie ends. The sun is setting on the White House and it's Harrison Ford digging a mass grave in the backyard.

Doesn't give a fuck. Better call it the Red House. Get out of my house. Get off my camp. Yeah, all of those things. If Teddy Roosevelt could have a fucking bear back here, I could back in mass grave. You better call your parents

to pick you up because camp's over. Yeah, exactly. Oh, nice. But... Happy campers. We kind of do that, though, with these Gerard Butler Aaron Eckhart movies. Yeah, but it's not

the same. It's not because those movies are way worse than this movie. This movie has like gravitas, like bullshit gravitas for sure. Oh, it's garbage toss. But it's definitely garbage toss, but I would It's tossed nonetheless. I would like two to three of these movies for sure. Sure, why not? Oh, oh, oh, oh.

So here it is. You could do a sequel now where it's like Harrison Ford's on a book tour. Oh, nice. And he's got to make a stop. What's the first stop on the book tour? President Punch's presidential library shit fucking and then if you want to just keep rip and die hard

dude the brother of Gary Oldman's like fuck this takeover library I love it and it's he's like you got some overdue fees punch I'm cutting up your ID card

hey the computer cost $2 a print crack photocons copies are 10 cents a punch. Yes. Is he just working there? Yeah, he's just actually working.

It's a regular library too. Is this an Around the Horn recommend? Yeah, it is. I mean, it's a hangover movie. It's not... Definitely. It's not great. It's just kind of...

It is slow. It should end with Gary Oldman's death. And you get five minutes of wrap-up time and you're done. You're out of there. Yeah, the fact that he's like murdered 40... 30 to 40 minutes before this movie ends is really unfortunate. Yeah, it's way too long, but it is, it's a, it's a recommend, a light recommend.

It's, you know, it, it's a little slow in parts. I remember I was more bored than I remembered being bored with this movie. I feel like in the 90s it was more exciting. What do you think, Chris Cabin? Oh, wait, you're on vacation? Sick burn. No, yeah, I totally agree with you. And I think, like, if you're ripping off die hard, the thing that's most noticeable is the fact that Harrison Ford has,

has one cool quip and John McLean's got like a thousand. So when this dude is just like walking around in office building, killing people, it's still entertaining versus this where it's like, all right, he killed that stunt double, he killed that stunt double,

all silently, you know. He killed Wishmaster, okay. That's Air Force One, directed by Wolfgang Peterson. If you want more We Hate Movies, check out WHM Podcast.com or find us over at the Headgum Network page. Like us on Facebook and follow us on Twitter.

We're at WHM Podcast. And right into that mailbag, especially you Air Force One experts, we all hate movies at gmail.com. Rate and review the show, wherever you get it, we would greatly appreciate it. Let me say on the air right now, I think we said it last week, maybe, I don't know, but I want to say it again to address it. We're not on Spotify anymore. We're still getting questions about that.

We switched distribution platforms, you guys. So unfortunately, we are not on Spotify. That old Lipson app is not going to update anymore. So figure it out. There it is. Figure it out. Figure it out of Stitcher and all sorts of great stuff. Totally.

We can still, you know, you can get us at all sorts of places, but unfortunately, Spotify and the Lipson app are kaput. Next week on the program, the summer blockbuster extravaganza wraps the fuck up. The season finale. The season finale of We Hate Movie season seven. I've heard through the grapevine. California raisin told me this.

Chris Cabin, we'll be back for that episode. Oh, my gosh. He'll be back in studio. He's had to have a little sojourn, but he's going to be back. And we're going to be talking about Sam Ramey's motherfucking spider Man 3. Oh, Mercy. Oh, mercy. Indeed. So get ready for that. On the season finale of We Hate Movies,

until then, I'm Andrew Jupin. Steven Sadek. Eric Siska. Take it easy.