We Hate Movies - S7: WHM Mail Bag - Steven from Charlotte, Passing Up Sex for Movies, Agitated Fathers, and Greening Out at the Multiplex

Episode Date: April 30, 2017

This month, the gang opens the mail bag to read letters about passing up sex to watch Raising Arizona, guys yelling in the video store, date night movie selection faux pas, and a classic What Are Yooooooooouuu Watching?! PLUS: Steven from Charlotte (the Ultraviolet episode) writes back in to explain how the film destroyed his relationship with his girlfriend! If you want your questions answered on the air, or have a weird story you'd like told, write in to the mail bag: [e-mail]!Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is a headgum podcast. Welcome to W.H.M. Mailbag, everybody. I'm Andrew Jupin alongside Stephen Sadek, Eric Siska, and Christopher Cabin. We are here reading your letters. Oh, my God. We got so much to get to. I'm just going to dispense with the niceties and get right to it. It's Steve Sadek. Okay.

Let's start us off here. The April Mailbag. Here we go. It's from Stephen from Charlotte. Oh, shit. Oh, really? We demanded this. Because you demanded it.

It's like the Lord said, ask, and you shall receive. Stephen from Charlotte. I was like, who the fuck is that? But this is the guy that we talked about on the ultraviolet episode. He's the man that requested

ultraviolet. And just to recap. That requested ultraviolet. He requested ultraviolet, which first of all, what a son of a bitch. Second of all, he claimed in the call

that this broke up his relationship with his girlfriend at the time. So we demanded, of course, we got to hear that story. Get them deets, man. Get them deets. Deets.

Get them deets. Here we're going. go. And I do have to say, just because I'm going to say it the right way, but it's Stephen spelled with a V, which we all know is wrong. That's my middle name. Which is wrong.

Stefan Rakel over here. That's the cheap, Stevens. Yeah, no, I got a relative in Austria that's Stefan. The right way. Well, it's not Steven. The royal way. I don't say Steven. Where the fuck is the V?

The pH becomes what? It's not a tell. It's not a telephone. Wait, wait. The pH stands for what on the periodic table of elements that you're getting this sound from? V8, that's the element. Tomato juice. All right, here we go. Stephen from

Charlotte on ultraviolet. Hey guys, you wanted to hear my ultraviolet story, so I wanted to tell it to you. Damn straight. Yes, I'm Stephen from Charlotte. In 2006, I was a senior in high school. My girlfriend at the time didn't attend the same school as me, so he would get together on weekends and see movies.

She had talked all week about seeing this movie that I had never heard of called Ultra Violet. I agreed and on Friday I picked her up and we headed to the theater. My best friend met us there. Here's a problem. You're on a date. You're on a date. What the fuck? My best friend met us there.

You see this girl twice a week. Are you trying to... Fuck your best friend? Oh, no. Angle at a three-single. Get that angle. Get an angle. I'm okay with that. Getting that angle. Getting that angle. My best friend. Put in the work early. Yeah, exactly.

You know what? Lay in that fucking foundation cabin. You got to lay the groundwork. You can't just bring that on somebody. Oh, hey, Sarah. This is my best friend, Jerry. Isn't he fit? We were going to get dinner later. Are you open for your dinner later?

Yeah. You know, if you want to... Dinner means sex. Hey, hey, Jerry, why don't you give Sarah your number? Just so you guys could talk to and then we'll all talk together. Isn't texting fun? Oh, I said the wrong emoji. No, he didn't.

So, my best friend... 2006, we didn't have those yet. That's true. My best friend... This emoji looks like a penis. Sorry, sorry. Did you just bomb our chat room? Remember that?

Oh, fuck, yo! You fucking nerds keep this bomb! It's me being a bigger nerve, copying, pasting shit to ruin your experience. Yeah, oh yeah. Of course. So stupid. All right, so they're seeing ultraviolet with his best friends.

If you don't know what bombing a chat room is. My best friend, met us there and we proceeded to the movie about 20 minutes in i looked at my best friend to ask if you understood anything we were seeing to which he just looked at me wide-eyed and confused you got to break up with this girl accurate accurate reaction to every come on stephen if you broke up with her it could just be me and you we could go see good movies we could see good movies stephen Stephen, it doesn't have to be this way.

After the 90-minute eternity dumpster fire ended, while walking to the car, my best friend and I berated the movie to shred saying that the movie was nonsense while my girlfriend, while taking my... By the way, so you walk, you take...

You're crashing your own date. And then you and your friend are criticizing the date on the way out. The one that she picked out I'd be like, you know what, man. Well, he's in high school. He's learning. This is how you learn.

You're going to be a little obnoxious. You've got to be. How do we learn how to pick ourselves up, Master Way? We crash our own dates. Oh, I wish I had a good Michael King. I mean, I feel like Alfred was always on Bruce's dates, right? Oh, yeah. Totally. Not on the first date, sir.

Maybe the second. Master Wayne, when are we having a three-word? I don't understand this. Are they vampires? Are they? What's going on? Is it a future? Boy, Master Wayne, this girl sure is stupid. That movie was terrible.

Is that a ball person? A black bar person, okay. And her outfit is awful. No, here it goes. So while taking my girlfriend home, she started gushing about how much she had. adored the movie and how innovative and amazing it was. We argued the entire ride to her house and she told me repeatedly,

I just didn't get the movie and it was above my head. Oh, she's wrong. Yeah, that's not possible. You know what? She's dead wrong. You have to see the movie they're not making. It's artistic. You wouldn't understand.

It's a quiz show. First of all, our relationship ended and we've only spoken once and said, I don't know if you had a relationship if you're taking your buddy to dates. Yeah. It sounds like this was doomed from the start. I've only talked to one since then. I continue to hate this movie with a fire and a passion to this day. Love the show.

Sorry for almost breaking you guys. Stephen from Charlotte. You really did almost break it. It was tough. It was tough. That is not know what to do. I was ice in my brain for two weeks after that one. I couldn't bring myself to watch movies.

I almost hated watching movies. We were at each other's throats. I just was like, you know what, dude? I'm fucking 33. What are we doing here, man? This is a podcast about what? We're watching Who this week? I'm white.

I'm in my 30s. Don't I have a novel to write? Oh, God. That's sad. All right. Let's continue here. Highlander 3. What are you watching?

Comma Origins, period. It's been a while since we had one of these. True. Good day, guys. I'm guessing he's from Australia. I hope so. That's some post. or shit. I don't know.

Pose or. Maybe it should be good day mates. Right? No. You're saying good day. You're on that continent or you're not saying good day. Yeah, you can't just, you can't even drop that in like just you can call somebody mate, I guess, or say cheers. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, all this shit that us stupid Americans fucking co-op like fucking calling the Atlantic Ocean, the pond, shut up Americans. I agree with you, but those stuff, that stuff you can spray. sprinkle into conversation and no one's going to really like have an aneurysm about if somebody's like hey good day man i'm like

hey fuck you that's the only answer you can give go fuck you stupid american i'm pretty sure this guy's australian oh thanks for the email anyway rather enjoyed the highlander three app and thought i'd share my own experience with the movie when i watched it for the first time it was at a it was at a it was as a Video rental at home. At the time the family home was being extensively renovated and the whole family being... Stop saying family. Being confined to based...

You're going to edit him on the fly, huh? Basically, so the family was confined to basically two rooms next to each other. Is this his family? No, it's not his best friend. It's his family. He's angry for a family way. Is this dog family way? Separated by a temp.

Partition. Oh, that's hell. Myself and my brothers in one room and my parents in the next. I was 13 or 14 at the time. To get to the kitchen, my parents had to walk through the room we were in. So every time they came through, they got an update on the

adventures of Connor McLeod and friends. I mean, this is one of those movies you can't be watching. Nope. Oh, yeah, dude. That's probably why I loved it so much growing up. Naturally, the first time during the movie that my dad came through Mario Van Peebles

was being told no glove no love by his lady friend my dad asked us what the movie was it's Highlander 3 you know the sequel to that Sean Connery one but good move because you're in legit territory remember that Sean Conner

that movie came out in theaters yeah so did this one yeah did it though yes it did he seemed I think it did don't tell me it didn't he seemed uncontrolled Vince that

and returned to his chair in the other room with his cup of coffee. What the fuck time are you watching? I thought this is not a fucking 10 a.m. Maybe it's like an after-dinner

decaf. Maybe we're doing like an AA meeting. Is that what's going on in the other room? That's what his friends are doing? My brothers and I had to live in one room

and my parents conducted the AA meetings on the other side of this curtain. We were able to watch movies but not dirty ones. Fast forward to however long it was, he comes in again with another cup.

I don't know what cup. Yeah, cup, that's, it's, it's slang they use. Oh, is that cup of cup of. Okay, cup of vegemite. This time. No, no, no. Australia rules football? What do you want me to say?

Foster's, of course. Jesus Christ. Keep going. This time to be confronted by Mr. Lambert, plowing Deborah Kara Unger to the strange. This is getting you grounded, pal. You're grounded.

Discount River Dance. Oh, I love that. He didn't comment this time. Seconds after he left the room, my mom called, oh, mom, yeah, okay. So we're, yeah, definitely not an American posing, right? Because they would never say mum. No.

No, no one says mom. That's the one thing we won't steal. Thank goodness. My mom called out, What movie are you boys watching? At this point. that was it was a character of course at this point i felt that i had to pause the movie and take the video case for them to see just so what they

just so that they knew i hadn't rented some softcore martin skinnax flick whenever you guys use the what are you watching line this movie always comes to mind first uh what was the biggest offender in the department during what was the biggest offender in that department during your teenage years love the show brin um i think that's right brin brine i think it's brin brin i think it's brin brin let's go with brin i think that sounds pretty cool and no offense i know i'm a boorish ugly american uh i we would watch some fucking red shoe diaries uh when my mother was at american legion meetings with uh her friend there we'd go in the other room and

see what the red shoe diaries were up to. And it was always like, what, what are you watching? I was like, oh, it's a, it's a thriller. Somebody's stalking something. Exactly. Anything went in my house. Oh, really? Anything goes? Well, you guys are watching cruised it on the weekend. My parents subscribed to the Playboy channel

and they were like, it's there if you want it. Goodbye. We're going after the night. That's a good move, man. We're going to get some beers at the Legion. Do what you will. Yeah. Was it a good move? I mean, you turned out okay. I turned out like a disaster. For some reason, all my crossed wires work on this specific podcast, and that's it.

Other than that, I'm a disaster. I can attest that. I've lived with you. So bye. Chris? I can also, I can support that. I guess. You had some pretty fucking freewheeling parents.

Well, I guess, well, because I kind of. broke them like a horse and now you ride them family way I watched whatever because my dad was scamming for Columbia house so like you know

you got to watch whatever tapes he gets this thing go on for years years upon years my family we did the one and done it was like the Latanza heist and we walked away you know what I mean? No so I came into Chris Cabin's life in about the year 2000

This thing had been going on for a while And was still going No way, the year 2000 Into that time We were at least three years deep into DVD culture This motherfucker was still getting 10 VHS tapes a month I was going to say, did you get a DVD from Columbia House? Yes, we started getting DVDs from Columbia House.

What? You were getting digital video discs from Columbia House. Ask your grandparents what Columbia House is, ladies and gentlemen. That's your great grandparents. Yeah, seriously. no so i mean we had a bounty back there so i got to see like everything but for some reason i've never understood it my mom had this big thing about me not seeing seven oh really she didn't want me because she heard it was a torture movie and she didn't like those torture movies right she's right she is right but of course you know we're on vacation and you know they go out for a nice

dinner and I'm a walk from the video store and they don't give a shit what you're doing in Massachusetts I think they put that on the bottom of all their license plates. Yes, they had to fix it for PR purposes but the original one I believe, yes. So I

watched it and like they came home like right at the end where he when he shoots and Spacey and she's like you did it! And I was like, yeah, you ruined vacation.

And then after that, I mean, that was the floodgates. And then, of course, you know, two years later, I'm watching happiness with them. Yeah. With them. Yeah, that's uncomfortable. Now, I was not as fortunate as you all. Like, the fucking, what are you watching was like born in the Jupin household. And I think it was because I had younger siblings.

But it was always like, you know, the second someone said fuck, it was like, And this was amazing because, like, my parents, God love them, have filthy mouths. Sure. My dad invents profanity. But it was like, as soon as someone said, fuck, it was like, what is this? And it was always like, I've told this before, but it was like the poorest timing, you know? Of course. I got, it was, these were in the early DVD days.

I got like a flip disc animal house DVD. So we're watching that. And it's right where Belushi's spying on the lady. Flip disc DVDs don't get comfortable. No. You know, it's just getting ready to stand up again. No, it wasn't like the casino DVD. It was like, you know, four three on one side.

Wide screen on the other. And it was like right where Belushi's watching the chick like change. And she starts like sticking her finger down her underpants. And my mom came home from work. And it was just like, what is this? Oh, come on. And I was like, look, he fell off the ladder. It's fucking hilarious.

Look at that. He's going to do the mashed potato things. Oh, it's over. I've still never seen the Eddie Murphy film Metro because I, I wanted to rent it one time and I couldn't because Eddie Murphy says dirty things. You're not missing anything. No, not a thing.

Fair enough. He says the wrong kind of F bomb. You're right mom. You're right, Mom. Well, she's right. Track four on Raw. Well, you're right. All right, Chris Cabin.

All right. My father versus Steven Seagal, also another cheap Stephen. Yeah, absolutely. Versus Blockbuster. Oh, boy. Hey dudes, my name is Nima, or Nima? Nima.

He's a pronounced Nima, and I am a dude. Keep reading. Are you okay, Eric? Yeah. Okay. What are you reading? And wanted to share, pronounce Nima and I am a dude, and wanted to share a bittersweet experience I had when I was but a wee lad.

Back in 1998, I was 13 years old and had a family tradition of renting movies, video games, every weekend from Blockbuster. I know that's like... Oh, absolutely. I know that life. And I never rent a video game system? I did. I rented, uh, what was the Nintendo virtual boy?

Oh, right. Yeah. I rented that a lot and I think it fucked up my eyes for a couple years. You had to like put down a deposit though, right? That was the thing? Yeah, you were kind of leaving a copy of a credit card with them, which I think was a whole dangerous move. Oh, you're fucking leaving it a blockbuster.

There's practically Carnies over there, man. I know the fucking scumbags in my town that worked. at those. I just saw this news piece the other day about the last one of the last blockbusters that's still in operation. In like Alaska or something? Was Silla. My friend drove by that the other, like he was in

Alaska. He came back. The first thing he said is like, my God, there's blockbusters in Alaska. I was like, we're going. We're going. And there was this whole thing about like the community of the town like how like in the winter like it's nice to go to the video store. Oh, that's like God. Jesus Christ. I think if I walked through the gates of a blockbuster,

I'd start crying. I really would because I've come to a point in my life from, like, you know what, Netflix, fucking suck a dog's dick. Yeah. Well, just go to Alaska because it's just blockbusters and ponderoses and all the other banished fucking chain restaurants and video stores. Island of Lost Toys. There's a fucking KB toy store. That's where Borders books went. I think George H.W. Bush is still president of Alaska.

No, he's not because they've legalized weed. Oh, that's true. All right. continue this is a long one my dad at the time ran his own karate school and had an obsession with stephen seagall okay all checking out that's great uh every weekend my dad would rent a variety of seagall movies even renting that many of them even renting the same movie multiple time well this is nineteen ninety eight man there were plenty of steven so yeah they were back These are classics, so I understand.

We're post-Glimmer Man, I think, at this point. Man, you know, a pre-Glimberman world, I don't want to know it. It might have been in theaters at this point. No, glimmer man's when I check out. Yeah, I agree. What's the movie where he's killing all the Jamaicans? Mark for death. Yes.

That sounds right. That's a stay tuned. They're all stay tuned, Steve. One weekend, he decided to rent 1994s on Deadly Ground. Nice. And was so obsessed with. the film that he bought a jacket closely resembling

the one Seagall wore in the film complete with frilly brown tassels running around the sleeves. I love it. Oh, good gracious. As the following weekend approached, we made our way back to Blockbuster for

another round of rentals. I chose Ultimate Mortal Kombat 3 and my dad chose 1995's under siege to Dark Territory. You better believe he did. God damn it. So we get to the counter and hand the guy our membership cards. He scans it then informs my dad that on Deadly Ground had not been returned.

It was my responsibility to gather the rentals and return them with my mom. Gather the rentals. Boy, gather the rentals. Are you done milking that cow? Gather the rentals. You and your mother will return them to the Blockbuster. Postaste. Tie up the hay and get back to Blockbuster.

Well, if those tapes aren't in Anchorhead by my son up, they'll be hell to pay. Well, you could go to the Academy next year. You know, with the rental harvest coming up, I'm going to really need you. You could go to Tashi Station another time. Gather the rentals. You've got to bring them the blockbuster.

Oh, my God. With your rental sack. and that we will be charged $90. Oh, that's how they get you. Wasn't that a million dollars back then? Yeah, please. 98? 1998 money, holy shit.

If it wasn't brought back, after promising my dad, I had returned, gathered, and returned the tape with my mom confirming we did so, he turns his attention back to the cashier. This is trouble. Keep in mind that my dad is a. 5-7 angry ball of Middle Eastern Black Belt Karate Master with short man syndrome. Oh, I love it. Oh, boy. As he's screaming at the porkashir,

some of his insults start to sound very familiar. This is so awesome. My dad was straight up insulting the guy with lines pulled from Seagal's entire film catalog as if he made them up himself. God damn it. Oh, that's horrible. lines like, you think

you think you're a big man, huh? Big man, show me what a big man can do. Yelling at this 16 year old kid. Exactly. This practical carny. If your dad knew how stupid you were, he'd trade you in for a pet monkey.

Oh. When I'm done fucking you. You can go to a proctologist. Where is this one from? I don't know, but I want to rent it. And get a super. soothing ointment, rub it on the hole that hurts most, how do

you want it, how do you want it? Just screaming, how do you want it at a teenager? I think this was from his sex dungeon they found. Didn't he have a sex dungeon? He did. He definitely had a sex dungeon. We don't know. No, he definitely had someone in a sex dungeon. He at least rented one.

Gather the rentals. You better return that sex dungeon postaste. My dad threatened to do karate on the cost. several times. Oh, I'll fucking do karate on you, mother fuck. I'm ready to do it right now. You see these tassels?

You see these tassels? And even demonstrated how he would karate up blockbuster. I am hitting the chair. My dad was doing all of this while wearing his brown, frilly, faux

suede, segal jacket with tassels, billowing and all. Oh, God, I love it. So the cashier picks up the phone and says he's going to call the police good job and if he didn't leave yeah absolutely

so yeah my family was banned from Blockbuster as we walk outside my dad calls out to the cashier to get his attention and Roundhouse kicks a sign outside of the store from thinking it belonged

to Blockbuster but it turned out to be a sign for the sandwich shop sharing the same build oh grandma's sandwiches took a real hit that day oh god The best part, years later, when I was moving into my first apartment, I discovered a VHS tape.

Oh, come on. Wedged between my TV and the wall. The title read On Deadly Ground. Oh, Neimo. Oh, man. Boy, I told you to gather the rentals. You can move into an apartment next year. To this day, he doesn't know the truth and he will never find out.

It's a deep park seat ground. would take to my grave. Good on you. Have any of you guys gone through a similar ordeal or been embarrassed beyond all belief by your parents? Keep making me laugh, gents. You guys are pretty good at it. Hugs and kisses from Fresno, California, Steve. I mean, yeah, well, there's a story where I did, this is almost the exact same Buffy the Vampire Slayer story, which I've told them the show before. Like, yeah, my dad would get, my dad would get into it with people. My dad will still get into it with people because, you know, he's an arguer, man, he will argue. I remember being

in a McDonald's. And there was, this is, ask your grandparents about this. You remember being in a McDonald's. Hold on Eric. You didn't order it on your phone? I was in a McDonald's with my dad and there was a woman smoking next to us, which was the style at the time.

Sure was. And we were in the smoking section and he started getting into it with her. And it's like, yeah, man, we're the smoking section, baby, it's McDonald's. It's 1988. This is what we're doing today. What the fuck, leg, did he have to stand on time he's just like it's disgusting i've got kids here kind of it's yeah i've got kids here god that's pretty embarrassing you know my parents didn't do this but i had an uncle who just

loved fucking fighting with people just fucking yelling in public man one time i will never forget this we went out we went out for dinner for my cousin's birthday and it was like maybe like four of us and and you know not like a huge party not like 20 people at a long citizen cane table just like a tiny little dinner at this like it was like a like a brew house kind of a thing and we get the food and they forgot my cousin's dinner they didn't put her

dinner in his her birthday and my uncle is losing his ever loving fucking mind you ruin my daughter's birthday we're here you could have forgotten anyone's fucking meal you forgot the birthday girls

just fucking screaming and yell this is a time we are on a back deck patio situation. Everyone's just looking for a quiet dinner on the river. He is screaming at this woman. Yeah, you are ruining your daughter's birthday, sirs. That's absolutely right. Anybody else?

I don't really think there were many public freakouts. Okay, I was going to say. I think, no, I mean, my parents are embarrassing big time, but they haven't really screamed at a lot of people that I recall. I'll have to think on it. next mailbag. I'll try to drudge up a memory. Once my dad got pulled over

and had had one too many and answered the door when the police knocked on it with a hat with a pet fake lobster on it. And he answered to the police, my name is

the lobster police. No way. Your dad immediately arrested. Fifteen years. I would give that man 15 years Fucking county lobster Lock up for the king of the lobsters

A 15 minute rant from my mother later Yeah that'll do We're half a mile from the place We're supposed to be I'm the lobster Too many a one by the way That's not even alcohol at that point Two one too many paint thinner shots

Didn't your dad flip the fuck out In an usher when you went to see the Tom and Jerry movie was the story with that do you remember this was forever ago it crashed it crashed and like nobody came in fast enough oh yep to tell us what was going to happen

you didn't fix this problem fast it was you know a minute later and he storms out and somebody got it I don't know how and I don't know and I don't know what it looked like I have never understood the whole like making a spectacle

You know, no. Like shit happens, I will, I'll throw like a sarcastic comment here or there. I'll get into it sometime. Not get into it, get into it, get into it, but I'll just sort of get a little irishy. Oh, wait a second. I got into it. Oh, did you get into? I just remembered.

I got into it last weekend. Oh, yeah? So I was, you know, it's been a fucking shitty, you know, week or so, man. Sure. I said on social media, my grandfather passed away. So I was, you know, kind of feeling down in the dumps. I was like, all right, man, this is, you know, the next day I got to leave for upstate to of this funeral or whatnot. How about I go

to the Alamo draft house down in Brooklyn, see myself a motion picture, have a beer, take my mind off everything. So I walk into this auditorium. I got to tell you, first of all, I love the Alamo Brooklyn. It's a great new facility. I've only been there twice, but both times have been fine except for this fucking thing.

So we go, I'm seeing Ben Wheatley's free fire. So I go in, I'd miss the movie at Toronto, so I've been sort of interested in checking it out. Go into this theater, and there's like two ushers and it's like one usher who's been there, I guess since it opened like two months ago or whatever, and then like this newbie.

So this guy's like showing this newbie the ropes, right? I walk in and he's like, so the movie that's playing in this auditorium is Free Fire. And if you'll notice, like on the screen, this is like our pre-show presentation and the, you know, here at Draft House, like the pre-show is always catered to the movie that's playing right now. And Free Fire, I got to tell you, this movie fucking sucked.

This movie, man, it's only good if you're fucking drunk, this movie is so fucking terrible you know he's got and I'm like three feet away I'm taking my coat off and I just I was like Jesus Christ and this guy stops he's like what and I was like I'm about to sit down

to watch this movie what are you doing and he's like no I'm just and I was like no no no I've been waiting to see this movie since September what are you doing and this other guy comes up and he's like it's like kind of older maybe like a manager or something he's like oh what's going on here I was like well I'm about to

it down for this movie and this guy's talking shit about it. And these two kids like scurried out of the theater and this guy tried to pass it off as like oh don't that guy doesn't even worry. He's like joking. He's like that guy doesn't even work here. He came up from the target downstairs.

I was like, oh, I don't think so. I took to Twitter immediately. I started fucking going at it and I kept tagging draft house. And to their credit, it was great customer service. They were like, huh, that's really fucking terrible. We will address this with the entire staff immediately. Wow. But come on, man, talking shit about the movie I'm

about to see. Well, you know, that actually brings to mind I had a public freak out now long ago. It was probably like a year. No, it was like two, two, three years ago. I had like an ear infection and I had to go to an urgent care because I was just like it was driving me nuts. I don't visit doctors because I'm a Christian scientist. Everyone knows that. Insert any religion reason. No, no, no, no, it's just I'm, I just don't go to doctors. I don't believe in it. If I die, I die.

But I had an ear infection and it was bothering me. So I go there and I get a prescription like for antibiotics or whatever. And they send it to this like Dwayne Reed or whatever. And I go there and they're like, no, no, no, not here. And I go, I'm like, oh, God, you know, I call this doctor, you know, I get it sent again. And they're like, no, no. and it like happens like three times and then I flip the fuck out

in this Dwayne Reed to the point where this kid is visibly afraid of me and I leave I give it like a day is there a highlight sentence you could think of like one thing that you might have said

that might have really done it was just blank rage there was a lot of fucking shits I was basically I was going I was seen red I don't even remember what I was saying but the funny part of the story is like the next

day or something. You realize you were at the wrong Dwayne Reed? No, no. I finally got it worked out. And I'm like, well, shit, that's the closest one to my house. I go back. I go back and there's another dude that's like, like, the kid sees me and he's fucking like running for it. So

he's got a gun. What's the appropriate reaction in this scenario? I decided to chase him. No, you didn't. I chased him to apologize about what I did the other day. Oh, there you go but imagine that i just ran after him how did he react when he realized it was an apology he was like

he was just like oh okay oh yeah oh yeah it was like whatever you want man yeah he's like back it away he's about to open the register he's handing you all this ear it's in here dang it dang it i got it all it's the blue Nissan god that is great that's awful all right all right and Deda's dick. Do, do, do, the dick. Hey, W.H.M. Pals, love the show. You guys have helped me through some real hard times.

I was the guy at the L.A. Suburban Commando show who made Steve pretty uncomfortable when I told him he and the other boys helped me through my meth addiction. One year clean, woohoo. I don't mean uncomfortable. I was just flabbergasted. Yeah, I mean, you just do a live show

and somebody's like, by the way, your stupid comedy jokes helped with my meth addiction. I don't know what the fuck to say to that. You know, I was impressed. I'm very glad for the man. Well, let's, you know, congratulate him on one year being clean. Absolutely, that's amazing. That's no small feet.

We just make fucking weird Nicknulty voices. Yeah, well, that's all. Basically all we do. And then we yell at people in Dwayne reads. In our off time. So today, I'm taking pictures of a cross-carrying event for Good Friday, as I am a church communications guy. Then I get called upon to carry the cross for a while. I'm not religious.

in the least, but I respect the ritual, and it's my job to kind of fake it, so I carry it for half a mile with some other people. What the fuck? How long is this walk? I don't know. How long did Jesus walk? What, is a marathon named after him? Yes, Jesus Marathon. Oh, congratulations, you completed a half

Jesus. I know, because there's a fucking sticker on the bumper of your Subaru. Here, let me put a napkin up to your face. Oh, look, it's your visage. Yeah, we used to to do in the Catholics, you do the stations of the cross, but that's just you're kind of going around the church.

You go around the church. It's endless enough as it is, but we're not going outside. I think this is like the... Real hardcore shit. The evangelical, like you fucking feel the punishment. While we're walking, I hear a close but fate in conversation about data from Star Trek's dick and how

crazy his fucking must be. Wait, wait, wait, you're carrying a cross and you are hearing about data's fucking fully functional. cock. Well, that's the Lord, don't you know? And how much of a pervert Dr. Soong must be to endow his fucked up sparkly

self-portrait Pinocchio with a yarr-satisfying proto-torpedo. I like when people write it in the mailbag and they got some clever sentences. I like the flowery language. As discomfort mounts, I realize the voices are familiar. It was the W.H.M. Boys,

broadcasting from my pants as my phone sometimes has a mind of its own. Oh, man. This, yeah. You know what? But man, fucking airplane mode to the max. This has happened to me, not this, but like, you know, your phone, like, I'll be on the, I'll be on the Turlet, like, trying to download a podcast for when I get out of the work, Turlet. And then all of a sudden, Red Shoe Diaries comes on. Then Zach Lowe's talking about basketball.

And I'm like, dude, shut up, Zach Lowe. I quickly scrambled to turn my phone off while trying to carry my share of a symbol of Christ's sacrifice before Eric puts the horrifyingly gross Patreon cherry on top. of the already iffy subject. Well, you know, we died for your sins. And it's Patreon, man. If you have a Patreon subscription, it gets gross on there. It gets gross.

It gets gross. I am positive. The church elders that were less than a foot away from me carrying the cross heard this as well, but didn't say anything to me. Thank God for the silent rage and passive aggressiveness of Minnesota Nice. Thanks for everything, guys.

Well, you think... Sorry about that. It's embarrassing. You think Picard ever went to the holodeck and got himself crucified? Just to see what it was like. Or, you know, he played Pontius Pilate. I'll let you go, Jesus. Computer. Turn up pain frequency.

You know, he's just going in there and doing Jesus Christ Superstar all the time. What's the bus telling me what's happening? What's the bus telling me what's happening? Oh, Mr. Data. What are you doing here? He makes Data play Jesus. He's like, give me. those logs mister

and then he nails him to the cross oh I love it I could crucify a robot they don't feel pain Mark all right let's keep going all right

this is a these are two emails that were so similar I'm going to read them really back to back okay I'm going to discuss them in kind of a long form here

I like that okay one hey WHM gang love the show you're hilarious yada yada yada they wrote yada yada which I appreciate

it's not just us being rude you yada yotted over the best part now I'm now the reason I'm writing is because I was reminded of an incident recently that I was in high school my then girlfriend was over and I was trying to get her to watch Raising Arizona

one of my favorite movies that she had never seen she kept wanting to ignore the movie and just have sex you know what you know what you know what you can save Raising Arizona for fucking 2 o'clock on a Sunday get down to fucking You're in high school, by the way, figure it out, man.

Yeah, totally. Fuck. Just fuck. Wait, wait, wait, wait. You're in high school. Yeah. We're not their parents. They're not legal. I don't know.

Listen, fuck when appropriate. Do what's in your heart. No, no, no, never pass up a free lunch. Totally. Especially over watching Raising Arizona. I love that movie. Get it wet.

So she wanted to have sex while I kept saying, I just really wanted to watch, wanted her to watch. watch the movie. Oh, God. Needless to say, she ended up not liking the movie because she wasn't paying attention to it. Because she wanted to fuck. Fast forward to now, and we've been married for 15 years come July.

Holy shit. See her. It all worked out. She's pretty forgiving. Well, as long as you get married, guys. Yeah, exactly. Get married, then have sex. That's what I'm saying. But she still doesn't see the genius of raising Arizona, though she does love the other Coen brother movies. My question is, was I insane

to choose love of movies over physical love? or have you ever had a similar experience? Keep on casting, is that a phrase, Adam? So the second one here is, hey, gang, first of all, I wanted to say I much love the show. I eager await new episodes, but when I need to pick me up, I always return to your thinner episode, sure. Something about the pasta cruise always lifts my spirits, that's nice.

Well, here's the thing. We've done 300 episodes at this point. I have no clue what she's talking about. I think it was the fat guy in thinner was eating pasta. I think we made some on a boat crack. Yeah, he was eating pasta on a boat. That's right, yeah. There you go. There you go. Oh, now I remember from the movie. All right.

All right. Here's my story. A few months ago, I wanted a date with a guy. I like that. We had gone on a few dates prior and had been friends before that, so I knew him pretty well. That particular day, we went to see a midnight showing of blue velvet at the IFC center. Oh, fuck. That theater is terrible. That's an all right theater. It's disgusting. I had never seen it, so I didn't know how insane it was that he suggested this as a date movie.

Yeah. after watching it and being at once horrified and mesmerized as per usual with Lynch films he asked me what I thought I gave him my honest opinion which was

that I knew it was incredibly well directed and acted but I hated and I never wanted to see it again which is a totally valid thought he was taken aback by that and he said he had seen Blue Velvet that not only is Blue Velvet

one of his favorite films he's seen it hundreds of times that's first of all he's lying nobody's seen anything hundreds of times This really disturbed me and changed the way I thought about him as a person. It's wild to me that somebody could easily watch Isabella Rosalini get brutally raped by Dennis Hopper multiple times and seemingly not have a problem with it. My question is to you guys is this.

For you, what are the movies that if somebody says it's one of their favorite films and negatively affects how you see them? Any of them? Keep up the good work, Sonia from Brooklyn. Any of them, they're Human Centipede movies. yeah that's what that is yep well i've seen them all in theaters but only once one and done well that changes my view of you but um blue velvet i like it it's a great i mean i love that movie it's a great movie i wouldn't be like it should be a comfort movie no it's like hey hey baby and

this thing is like hey hey baby date movies and uh movies you're watching uh in your bedroom or whatever you this is fluff you abandon it don't hold it precious you know responding to both of these I definitely understand

where the impulse comes from like I get it like you want to share some piece of art because at this I imagine at this age those things matter

a lot to you those things are your personality you're passionate you haven't been fucking stamped down by the world stomp stomped stump I mean I don't know

I mean like clear I don't know how old these people people or that would change a lot of this conversation. You got to preface it. You got to be like, hey, man, I really like this movie. It's a really well-made movie, which it is. Blue Velvet is excellent. It's fucked up. You've got to acknowledge. You've got to be like, hey, it's

also fucked up. And I promise afterwards we'll get ice cream. And you've got to know who you're taking on a date here, too. There are blue velvet people and there are not blue velvet people. There's no. Nothing right or wrong with either of those people, but you just kind of get a feeling for who those people might be. And if he knew you for that long and didn't, like,

couldn't read that, that that clearly means that he was very intent on this thing. Raising Arizona might be one of my least favorite Coens. Really? On the lower end it? Wow. It's on my high end. You like it less than lady killers? Well, no, I said on the low end,

not the end of the end. Yeah, that's the asses end of a Cohen Brothers movie. I'll tell you that much. I'll tell you what. More of an intolerable cruelty guy. If you go on a date with a person and their favorite movie is intolerable cruelty.

Run the fuck out Golden Corral But also to the first guy That's crazy Come on That's crazy You've seen it a bunch of times And I mean like there is

There is sort of I do understand that thing though Of the like I'm taking somebody You see this movie And they're not Because I've gotten that Where I've gotten grown out of that

Where I'm like I'm showing somebody something You're not watching You're not watching Oh it's the best part Yeah You got to grow out of that too you got to just let go and like if someone doesn't find something on their own then you know

if someone's fucking grabbing your rod man and you're ready ready to go go for it that's what's fucking crazy is someone wanted to fuck and someone refused to fuck because raising arizona is but also now what i guess human centipede we said but like are there any other movies for the from the second email like that would change your opinion if somebody has that happened my favorite movie is martyrs i've seen martyrs a hundred times yeah that's a good one What is Martyrs? It is a French film? It's a French in the wave of the new French extreme.

Yes. High tension inside. It's very bloody and disgusting and very tense. And if somebody had seen that really more than twice, I'd be like, are you insane? You know, I- Excuse me, are you insane? I hate the harp on this. Somebody's a really rabid Zach Snyder fan. That's a big problem.

That's a big problem. Of intense Michael, like you enjoy Michael, Michael Bay movies, I'm fine with you. Sure. But the ones who are like, he's the best film, like, Armageddon is the best movie ever made. I know people like that. I do too. And I, those people just upset me in general. Yeah, it changes your view of them, even if they are seemingly an okay person outside of that.

You know the truth that they're not. It suggests an inner darkness that I just don't want to deal with right now. I don't know if this. kind of person exists and I would wager probably not but I'm just thinking of it as I look at the criterion on my shelf right now but if someone was like you know what man when I have a bad

day like a real rotten ass day and it's raining and I got fucking fired and I just want to like come home veg out and relax and I put on Alan Renee's night and fog I'm like that person is fucking

terrible and might indeed be a reincarnated him alternatively, Salo. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Salo, 120 days of Sodom

if someone's like, oh boy, come Christmas time, I'd love to put that movie on. Seen that more than three times? That's, obviously, Blue Velvet's a cake walk.

Yeah. He's not making you watch the Gestapo's last orgy. I mean, that's the thing, right? There are a lot of things worse than Blue Velvet.

Yeah. But it is definitely one that it war. It's a discussion, yeah. Just, you know, Sonia, expand your horizons, watch a lot more horrible things. And then, and then... Wait a second.

And then you'll realize it was a great movie. Oh, no. Did you go on a date with Eric? No, no, no. Eric Siska's new podcast, change your mind. Actually, welcome back to Blue Velvet. It's actually awesome. Actually.

Episode 69. No, no. Actually. It's okay if it's not your thing. I totally understand that. It's a disturbing film. But, you know, get over it. Come on.

I'm kidding. I'm kidding. No, no. I understand. I like raising Arizona, too. All right. Last email. There's a long one. This is me. Yeah. Greening out during Zootopia.

Uh-oh. Hello there, fellows. I have been binge listening to the show for the past few months, and it has been a lifesaver with my L.A. commute. I also want to put in a good word for us, by the way. I also wanted to know. You obviously work for Hollywood, so put it. That's what I there is.

I saw the movies. I also wanted to note that when I first began listening to the show, I had to immediately Google your names, oh boy, and scan through the day's issue of the IMDB Tribune because I thought, A, Stephen was the same guy that voiced Carl, the movie-loving convenience store worker on family guy. I don't even know what that is. That's an earlier one.

That's John Benjamin. which is not me at all. You wish you were John Benjamin. I might be taller than John Benjamin, but he might be taller than me. It goes one way or the other, man. His career is taller than you. Oh, it's towering.

And B, that Eric was actor Eric Sisto because of their voices sound similar. And I thought I heard him say Sisto instead of Siska. I think she's thinking of Jeremy Sisto. Jeremy Sisto. I don't know who that is. Law and Orders, Jeremy Sisto.

He was in. Rachel Griffith. brother and ridden he's in clueless he's in oh yeah hideaway as well he's jeff goblum's double and hideaway uh my apologies if this offends either of you anyway i wanted to share my story about how i ended up passed out across a row of movie theater seats during the screening of the film zootopia rut row my boyfriend and i hadn't planned on seeing a movie that day but my phone was being held captive at the apple star in the mall so we thought we had some time to kill and I figured we should just catch a movie while

we waited why Zootopia I think it was the only one that looked mildly entertaining that weekend I saw Zootopia I liked it quite a bit yeah it's fine I didn't watch it because I'm not a fucking child no I'm kidding that's I was watching Be Velvet god damn no he's waiting for Star Wars fucking idiot actually it's a great movie uh no actually I didn't want to see Zootopia it's on Netflix never got to Oh, it's on Netflix. Did you hear that, guys? It's on Netflix.

I should note that while we were waiting to be helped at the Apple Store, I remember that I had two triangles of a Delta 9 edible that my boyfriend had me holding my purse from the previous night. And this is fucking Los Angeles. And we're sitting in here in New York City like idiots. like fucking idiot hands a mouth every week and here we're just like afraid elliot nass is about to kick the door just because we even said it it's a different it's a different world i am fucking pulling up floorboards every goddamn night just to relax and you're at the fucking apple store

with your delta nine squares oh god it is really it's a beautiful it's a fucking beautiful thing uh yeah well you know you're gonna have to import your water for ever sooned it. It goes both ways, man. The boyfriend drinks a fair share of tall glasses of water daily. Well, I usually stick to

CBD because I'm such a lightweight. I don't know what that is. This is a different language. They got a whole other fucking language out there. Chris Gavin, can you train? Alphabet soup. You translate.

You speak, you speak I speak water. You speak fucking freedom. Um, I, yeah, you don't know. All right. That day, however, I don't know. That day, however, I decided to eat a whole triangle, 60 milligrams of THC, thinking I was a badass and wanted to show off my tolerance to the newish boyfriend. Oh, this is a showboat.

This is what happens. Afternoon at the mall. I should also note that I have a heart and blood pressure problem. This is another reason I chose to. to be a lightweight and why this again was a very stupid decision to my part.

It started out as an afternoon at the Apple store and she was never seen again. She was taking drugs I can't pronounce while a bunny cop ran around the screen.

Have you ever seen the Robert Duval movie THX-198? It sounds like that. I was feeling good walking to the theater feeling even better when we sat down.

had a nice buzz going, then the lights dimmed and I ruined it for all the kids now. Then I started screaming at children. The previews started... Those animals are talking! That fox is wearing a tie!

What is happening? And immediately I felt like I was being pulled through the rabbit hole. I could barely open my mouth to form words to inform the boyfriend that I was probably going to die right there. Jesus Christ. I tried to get up and walk. out of the theater because I felt like I was going to pass out or throw up or my soul was going to leave my body or some other horrific thing. This is a letter and a half. I couldn't even get up

and instead ended up crawling over two seats and passing out on the row of seats closest to the aisle. Thankfully, there were the only, thankfully, there were only about four other people in the theater, but I am sure it didn't look great to have some chick passed out across the theater seats during what was a cartoon movie. The boyfriend who was also riding high comforted me by putting his hand on my left.

Oh, great, good job. To make sure I was still alive, I don't... You good? Hey, this fox is wearing a tie. Are you good? Little known fact. Eric Siska did this same exact thing when he saw the Great Gatsby. Yeah, and also the greasy strangler.

Thanks a lot, Chris Cabin. Oh, I have this fucking... I got a story about Chris Cabin after this. With this fucking, yeah, I don't know about Delta Nine, but I think Chris Cabin's got a United Tent. I don't remember leaving the theater once the movie was finished or picking up my phone from the Apple Store after. I don't even know how I ended up alive the next morning

because, dear Lord, I greened out and then some. After Zootopia came out on DVD, I watched it with my nieces and nephews. did you share share some squares I honestly couldn't remember the single part of the film to save

for the sloths at the DMV which probably you remember because it was on the fucking previews non-stop I remember that I could fucking recite that scene

and I didn't see the movie read the next sentence and I think I only remember that because that's the point over the previews all right all right hey hey hey hey you don't know I might be on some deltas

or some CD WDs or WMDs or whatever the fuck you call. It might be right in high on a DMV right now. I have learned my lesson and my boyfriend and I now have a rule with tall glasses of water. If I say I can totally handle that, all he has to do is remind me of Zootopia. And I remember that, no, I cannot in fact handle it. You guys rock. Thank you for every single one of the laughs, Jessica.

Well, thank you for listening, Jessica. and thank you for telling us your story about how you do apparently somehow legal drugs during cartoons. So I think we all got one for here. I'll preface this story that all of these stories take place in Colorado. That's correct.

So back when Chris and I were living in a story of Queens. Colorado. Yeah, a story of Queens, Colorado. I had just moved in with him and Eric. I had summer Fridays and Chris was Chris, So Chris was hanging out. And I was like, yo man, could you grab me, I'll give you like a hundred bucks, just get me $100 worth of tall glasses of water.

He's like, yeah, man, no worries. He comes back and he's like, yeah, actually I got like $60 of tall glasses of water and then $40 worth of mushroom candies. And I'm like, I don't know what these are. And he's like, oh, no, I've had them before. They're just like weed. It's totally fine. It's regular. Don't worry about it.

So I sit down with him, I pop one, and immediately I'm like, oh, these are just fucking mushrooms. Like, I'm just now surprisingly on mushrooms. I said they were mushroom candies. And you were surprised that they were mushroom. But you were like, oh, it's just totally regular man. And now we had an overzealous landlord that was still working on the apartment that just kind of barged in. We're watching Renan Stimpy. Your pupils are gone.

Yeah, our eyes are as big as the fucking sun And sure enough, this guy is just like, hey man, I just got to check something like, what? What's going on? Yeah, that was a rough day. I luckily, I do, yeah, I really enjoy the come. I don't like that thing, but I really enjoy the come down. It's a nice feeling. I think they're both brilliant, but I see what you're saying.

Sure. And also being surprised by that. No, you know, by Chris Cabin. Also, at one time when Chris and I saw Sucker Punch, he was like, Oh, yeah, take a brownie. It's totally fine. We had it. I went to work the next day, and I'm like, am I, no, I'm still, still high. Okay, cool. All right, I'm at work now. It's been 13 hours. I've seen the film Suckerberg. You were texting me a lot that day. I sure was. Chris, am I alive? Send. Did we see Sucker Punch?

Could it have possibly been that bad? Oh, one time it was, it was Eric's birthday, and Chris Cabin decided he was gonna do some culinary, confectionary, something or other. We're watching the movie, I believe it was called The Car with James Brolin, about a car that's possessed by the devil. And it was like, oh, these cupcakes are delicious. Oh, no. You know, like, go and do a couple of them, you know what I mean?

But then like, you were in Colorado at the time. I was in Colorado. Of course, wherever we mentioned a tall glass of water, we're in Colorado. Yeah, we travel a lot there. And so, you know, we're sitting there, and it's Eric's birthday, and we're so jubilant that Eric Siska has lived to see another year go by. And then it was always a surprise, isn't it? I feel some other things are passing around as this is happening and whatnot.

And so then it's like, oh, man, like now it's time to go to the large public space beer garden. That's your mistake. Where the party's really going to start. And so we're sitting there in this Astoria, Queens, Colorado beer garden. And I'm sitting there, and I'm just, I'm looking through this fucking table. I'm looking at, like, the rings of wood. know how old this fucking tree was

that made this table going through the whole thing and I realize I can't stand up and at one point Eric comes over and he just says

hey man are you having a good time at my party and I got this huge like stine of beer in my hand and I just say well I'm so glad that you came over

and asked me because I don't think I can stand up to come over to you and he just leans over and goes I have no idea how I'm walking right now

and that was it and then I went home about 20 minutes after that. Yeah, you have to. Eric, do you have one about me? Because I have one

that I think I've been holding back on. Oh, Chris Cabin. Please take the floor. Chris Cabin opening the vault. If you have one involved in me or somebody else. I think everyone knows the story.

It's a story, you know, it's like, Chris Cabin gives you something. You take it. And then you watch the movie, like Steve was saying, and also in this letter, we just read you,

you feel existential. existential dread I guess It's just like That was That's I'm not a horse And

Yeah Eventually it fades So you sure I mean That's been at least twice You think you'd learn Yeah I don't remember a lot of my time

In a story of Queens Colorado I'll be completely honest with you That was two years in my life Wait so what is this vault story Wait no but you know what the story is Oh Oh yes Oh, he's going to tell it, tell it.

It's good. So me and Andrew, when we were in high school, this is like when we met essentially was, we started a cinema club in our high school. Sure. That's what you do. A couple of studio students. Quite a lot of people signed up for this thing. Oh, it was surprisingly popular. So we're going to have our first meeting.

And we're like, okay, so right after school, we meet like, what, like 3.30 or something like that. Sure. um i have a little bit of a daily uh appointment in the woods yeah sure to smoke weed mouth with my friend brian and worship the devil slender man you got to go talk to slender man i got to smoke the orders for the day this is albany new york colorado yes that was all yeah yeah we're traveling there at the time so i go out and uh brys got everything ready He's a little bit. He's ready to go. He's awfully tall. Slender man will never steer you wrong, Chris.

And we smoke, and I'm like, it's a little stronger than usual. Like, it just tasted different. And he's like, yeah, and like, it's like ash at this point. And he's like, yeah, it's chronic. Oh, man, you can't surprisingly smoke chronic. What is chronic for the people that are uninitiated? It's dusted with, uh, at the time. I mean, you can dust it with anything, but like...

Traditionally cocaine. Yeah, usually cocaine. I'm pretty sure it was not cocaine. It's not a little expensive, a little too rich for your blood. But it was probably something worse than cocaine. If I can't broken up cough drops. And this is why the government's got to get involved, ladies and gentlemen. Yes, this is, because I'm dead.

But it goes the whole time. I haunted this podcast. Seven years being haunted. So, he's just a computer ghost. He's in our laptop. Like, so even if I wasn't going to be hopped, up as it was, I just find this out as I'm walking

to... It's the knowledge. The knowledge actually hurts, yeah. Harts it. And like, I'm walking to this fucking meeting, and I am... He's late as fuck, by the way. I am sweating everywhere. My feet are sweating.

My knees are sweating. My ass is sweating. Everything is sweating. More than usual. And I am just like... It's like a fucking Lumet movie. I'm at the table, like, wiping my brow. Andrew's looking at me, like, are you okay? I thought he was going to have diarrhea.

You didn't know what was going on with that Sunday, man. I didn't know. I had no idea. It wasn't there. I didn't know he's in a situation. Huh. Did not sleep that night. Did you, how was your performance at the meeting? Did you take minutes? A lot of mumbling.

Uh-huh. He wasn't very productive. No. No. Well, see, so Jessica, everybody makes mistakes. At least you're in the land of the golden sun. and you can buy it legally and you've got triangles of things

I've never even heard of. And we know what it's like because we're in Colorado. Yeah, all right. And we also learned today that it's okay not to like Blue Velvet and I just want to... He's got to...

I'm just, no, I've come around. You know, different strokes for different folks. I can't eat buckets of whatever Chrissies. United tens, United 93's, I think is what you do. Oh, okay.

I was going to say. The Eric Siska Apology tour is going to go to Dwayne Reed, Sonia, Brooklyn. I'm going to bow to that Saudi king. Finally. That's W.H.M. Mailbag for the month of April, if you want your crazy story read on the air, or if you have a question for us, write into the mailbag, WHM's email address, which is, indeed, we all hate movies at gmail.com. There we go.

So until next month, I'm Andrew Jupin. Steven Sadek. Chris Cabin. Take it easy.