We Hate Movies - S7: WHM On-Screen: Game of Thrones Season 7

Episode Date: August 31, 2017

On this special WHM On-Screen, the guys gather 'round to chat about the seventh—and shortest!—season of HBO's Game of Thrones! What's with all the wonky and wacky geography that's going on in this season? Does the shortened season hurt the show or help it? And was Maisie Williams taking notes from Anthony Hopkins? PLUS: Game of Thrones and Married with Children aren't as different as you may think! Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is a headgum podcast. Siska and Stephen Sadek, we are here talking Game of Thrones season 7, which just ended this past Sunday Eve. We did this for Game of Thrones season 6 as well, and I think, correct me if I'm wrong, gentlemen, but this is going to be sort of the same format, which is to say I've watched the last two in the season and you three are all currently caught up full blast on this season and Eric Siska has read all the books multiple times and has possibly pleasureed himself to it.

Multiple times. No, just once so far. I want to go back. He has an encyclopedic memory for it all, though. You do remember this shit, yeah. He's dressed like a dragon right now. It's true, and I want you guys to call me Edric Siska because that's more of a Game of Thronesy name. And to be in the Game of Thrones theme,

and Chris Cabin is the only one in the room with me right now because we are doing this on what we call in the business, a remote record. But I'm, yeah, it's very, the geography's getting weird on we eight movies. I'm back at Dragonstone. Yes. Steve, you're like an essence.

Yeah, we're just communicating by Raven, which got a lot better in the recent seasons, for sure. Those Ravens got fast. But Chris Cabin can attest to the fact that I am drinking red wine out of the bottle. Oh, smart. I can. You know, that's a smart idea. Yeah, I like to call it pulling a dinklage.

Or pulling a Tyrion, if you want to go by the character. There's a really, really shitty t-shirt somewhere that has that on it. Oh, yeah, a lot of nerds wearing that shirt. They got it at the Wolf Store. Here's a question. We could start with wine. The Wolf's store. Yeah.

Yeah, okay, go ahead, Steve. With all the silly science going on on this show, why would it be, why are we still not allowing pregnant women to drink? Like, you know, maybe on Westero's you could drink up until your ninth, you know, your ninth month, you know, or your 15th month, depending on how that works. This is the hill you want to die on? This is exactly where it is. I want to see drunk and pregnant ladies with no repercussions. Wait, so you're saying

was it a Tyrion moment where he had beef with a pregnant woman drinking? He noticed that Circe was pregnant because she wasn't drinking her wine. That's right, that's right. That's right. Well, she was also clasping her tummy and saying weird things.

Yeah, it was something about like, you know, oh, incest this and that and holding that tummy. of hers. It's pretty okay incest, you know. I think she was getting all horned up because she was thinking about the fact that she was about to have another child that she could potentially murder later.

But you know, Steve, you want the, you know, they announced they're going to be doing some spinoff shows. And George R. Martin has struck down everything I thought those would be. So maybe you'll get your pregnant, drunken lady fights or whatever. Welcome back to the drunk broads of Westeros.

They're all pregnant and they're all really wasted. The real housewise adorned or something? Yes. Seriously, Andy Cohen would greenlight that shit in two seconds. You know what, Andrew, just watch what happens. Oh, you watch what happens, motherfucker. You watch what fucking happens. I'm still hoping for brawn origins. Oh, totally.

Most origins would be pretty cool. Orgendri, why do I even care? That's my own. Okay, so here we go. Who's that dude? He is in the second to last episode, which you did see. He's the guy with the hammer that winds up running off to tell everybody that the, you know. Oh, the sprinter? Yes.

Yeah, he's King Roberts bastard. Oh, nice. Is he the last Barathean, Eric? I think so. I would like for this show to end with them granting him the storm lands, you know, his ancestral seat. That'd be nice. I mean, fingers crossed, right? I mean, he wields that hammer pretty good.

And he is a magic bullet getting back to that wall. Dude, what the fuck? They spend days walking through the snow and this pipsqueak runs back. I just felt like running. Something bit me. Dude, some fucking guy. A white walker bit me. I stepped in dragon shit.

And then I met the king of the north again. The king of the north. gave me 15 doctor peppers you know what's I really got to go pee but I think actually this this season has been a secret crossover

with the flash because they discovered the speed force this year around sure you know just getting from place to place those them boats are going real fast dude it's not just the boats though it's the dragons it's these ravens everybody's fucking hauling ass yeah those boats those boats are in

You're on Greyjoy goes from like the equivalent of New York City to San Francisco crossing and down through like I guess the Panama Canal in in like an episode span. Yeah. This is a continent. This is a continent. God damn. I think. Yeah, go ahead.

I'm sorry. I think the Lord of Light, like much like in stand up when your set is running long, like gave the Game of Thrones the Light. And it was like speed it up because you only got five minutes left. Exactly. Here's the fast forward button. Uh, so you mentioned, uh, Theon Grayjoy, Eric. That's urine gray joy.

Urine? Yeah. Urine is his uncle. Yeah. And Theon is the, is the guy without the dick. Yeah, Alfie Allen. Yes. Yes.

So here is my question from tuning in to the last two episodes of this season. Right. Because what we should really mention for people that might not have listened to our old episode that you haven't seen like the show in years. You just saw the last two of season six, the bastard bowl. And then you saw these last two episodes. Yeah, and it's nothing against the show. It's more just me personally. I had a hard time following stuff

because I'm really bad at fantasy shit with endless characters that I need a glossary for. So I watched all the way through season one through season four. And then that's where I tapped out. But my God, learning that this season was only seven episodes, I was like, say, not a bad idea, HBO. It'll get you back into it.

And it'll, it's like they took the story. out of porn finally and now it's just porn yeah just get to the fucking it is just like everything that all the fans wanted from it it is now and like people are having a problem with it and those are the people i imagine like story and they're porn uh yeah and we call those people creeps i guess i'm a creep i've like i like this season i like this season quite a bit uh but uh-huh some of the luster has been off i think some of the but the lust is still there exactly Well, no, it's, it's, you're, you're being cheated. Like, you need the foreplay.

I'm sorry, guys, but I need the romance. I need this show to, you need this show to fondle your balls a little bit before you get down to it. You need the husband to come home a little early. Yes. Finds his wife masturbating on the couch. So that was, so. Wait, wait, no, no, no. Chris, please continue.

Oh, he's edging, dude, because he's not with us. He's at home edging alone. Here's my question. What's better? Yes. Just two people fucking in an anonymous office or, uh-oh, sexy performance review. I think we know it's the latter one. And you got to do the work to earn sexy performance review.

But if part of sexy performance review is two people sitting in an office and for 15 minutes, it's like, tell me where you're going to be in five years. What do you think are some of your strengths? What do you think are some of your weaknesses? And then 15 minutes after that, you're fucking, I mean, come on. And like 15. You say you want to see some of my strengths. Yeah, see, there we go. Right?

Right? Oh, you're Puritans. I don't know where I'm going to be in five years, but in five minutes. Now, wait, so here's my question, though, before we go any further, because I've always liked Alfie Allen as Theon Greyjoy, because he's such a fucking spineless coward. It's kind of great. But last time I saw him, as far as I can remember, he was like some feral animal. They were calling, like, queef or whatever. What was it?

Rieke. Reek. Oh, yeah, I guessed it probably wasn't Queef. Yeah, probably not. You were reading the Mad Magazine spin-off where he's called Squeeve. Oh, no, no, that's Creep. Actually, that would be the porn parody name. You're totally right. Wait, so how is he a human being again? What happened there? I thought he was like a broken person. He was still broken. You were just witnessing him finally starting to become unbroken. Yeah, he's cowarded out a bunch between now and when you last song, but this episode, was the big moment where he's like, you know what, man, I'm going to kill you fat guy,

and he does, and it's kind of great. Yeah, he just beats up that dude that looks like a bouncer outside of an Irish pub. Yes. I was more on Ukrainian, but sure. Oh, yeah, same dude. I will say, just going back to the whole, like, you know, a story and, like, how quick it's going. I think that's fine, but I mean, I did like back when it was all, like, weird political maneuverings in terms of, like, you would have to take one step forward, you'd have to make like three bad deals that may or may not fuck you over, you know, and now it's more just sort of like, it's kind of, everyone's just hitting the, hitting the, everyone's hitting the Mali button, the mashing the buttons, you know?

I've had six seasons of that. That's fair. Six whole fucking seasons, man. Chris, it's, it's become so unrealistic, though, with how fast they're going. Because, for instance, High Garden, one of the biggest, you know, castles in the, in the known world. And it is like the breadbasket for all of Westeros, and it's defeated off screen within 30 seconds. That should have been a year-long siege at the very least. Yeah, I agree with that.

So we're looking for a 20 season end for this thing? Like, what the fuck? It has to end. The thing has to end. I will say, I think that if they made 10 episodes that were just 60 minutes each, this season could have been fleshed out more. You know what I mean? Like, I didn't think this episode needed to be 80 minutes. of us just kind of puttering around an old arena

and like kind of everybody catching up with you how's your father for 25 minutes. Yeah, now I'll tell you, I like that because as someone who's out of the loop, it was kind of nice to have the old gang just like, oh, I've missed you, what have you been up to? How was your summer vacation?

But I'll tell you what was a bit of bullshit because I'm looking at that fucking runtime as I watched this last night. There's definitely a moment where Danny is like late to the meeting and fucking Circe's like so where is she exactly and Dinklage is just like

oh she'll be here and then she's like oh you didn't come together and he's like no but don't worry about it she'll be here and then there's literally like a couple of cuts back and forth to people and it's just people's eyes moving and I was like this is 90 minutes come on it's like a conference

call. Is everybody here? Where's Brad? Where's Brad? Oh, okay. Brad's coming. A dragon has just joined the call. Now, let me back up to this, the sixth episode, because this is what I saw. I saw a lot of people talking about what they consider to be like DeNaris's like boneheaded move of taking these dragons north of the wall to help out.

Is that a boneheaded move? Was that a waste of time? I mean, the one dragon did get killed. So what's the thinking on that? It's a pretty high price, man. I think that it was a bonehead move, but I think that a lot of people also have problems with John even going out there trying to get a White Walker. Like, of course, Cercy's never going to help you.

You know what I mean? Like, she's a Lannister's. Lannister suck aside from Tyrion. You know what I mean? And obviously. And so that was the motivation, right? He's like, I got to go get one to prove to people that these fucking zombies are real.

Yes. Huh. Yeah, that does seem like a waste of time. yeah it doesn't seem yeah it seems like a total waste of time didn't really pay off and uh i think in season one maybe they sent like a hand back that was moving and it was just like dead by the time it got to kingslanding oh okay um if i'm trying to i'm trying to remember trying to brand my way back through all the seasons maybe if maybe if all the seasons were seven episodes you'd just wait for the moth man he'll help you you know brand i would love to

see some like i want everyone like if if i find out that Bran exists and Brand knows literally everything and this is the first episode of the series where someone was like, oh cool, let's use Brand's knowledge and oh, Baylish is a piece of shit. Let's cut his throat. You know what I mean? Like, let's start doing that a little bit more. Man, I loved that fucking Baylish throat cut. Take that little finger, you fucking stinker. Well, that's, I think it's all been like great deaths. Like, I mean, I haven't gotten tired of that. What were some other notable deaths from this season? Well, bringing up great deaths from this season, Andrew, the very start, like the first scene of this season, I believe, was Aria Stark killing all the phrase.

Oh, yeah. You remember that old man that killed Rob Stark and the whole red wedding? Yes. Oh, yeah. The janitor from the Harry Potter. The dude plays Filch and Harry Potter. Yep. Yes.

Yeah. So she, what she does is she previously, like, cut off his face and then put his face on. and then it's like face off and became him and then poisoned his whole family well she turned into Hannibal Lecter in this season she was creeping me out and it was fucking awesome

I loved it that whole scene with her and Sansa it was I could hear Anthony Hopkins doing the voice yes and it was amazing Maisie Williams is that her name she was awesome in that see dude that is fucking Emmy caliber shit it's a great scene I think that the

the ending was a little bit too like we're all buddies again. You know what I mean? Like I like that tension between her and Sonsa and like, oh, you're just a weird killer. And she's like, yep, I'm just a weird killer. And now it's just like, we all accept you now, weird killer. Yeah. Well, here's the thing, Steve, and you'll appreciate this. And Chris will as well. Eric, I don't know if you watched it. But like, it was kind of like unmarried with children. Like the Bundys all fucking hated each other and fucked with each other. But the second someone outside fucked with a Bundy, all the Bundys got on that person like, no.

Nobody's business. Yeah, you know, I didn't watch married with children because there's just too many characters and mythology to learn. Oh, you're a fucking asshole. What's the dog's name? Tuck. Tuck.

Is that it? Dude, that dog was dead, and then that dude touched it and it got blue eyes and came back to life. Maybe if there was seven episodes, I could have hung in there for the Bundys. But you know what I mean, though? It's like, yeah, they have their internal

conflict as a family, but outside little fingers fucking trying to wiggle in there. And honestly, if it was between them having this like, and I didn't feel that, like the one scene where they faced off and she was like, you know, you're full of shit and like, oh, you're

a crazy person. Like, I got everything I needed about that conflict from that scene and the other scene. Where I like, I wanted Baylish dead. I didn't want to fucking have to wait around another season to watch Baylish get his fucking throat butt. But he

didn't do anything this season. He kind of was just like, yeah, one day I'll do something. Oh, it's going to happen. Don't worry. One day. And then, you know, nothing happened. Well, dude, Steve, it was time to pay the fucking fiddler, man. He's been doing shitty things for six seasons.

That's fair. And what's with the nickname Littlefinger? Was he fucking sticking it up butts or was? I think. Yes, he was. Yeah, that's canon. And that's Martin's language as well. Yeah, you get five episodes on that alone. Stuffing things in butts, he did.

You know, I honestly don't remember. I think there is a story to it, though. Oh, all right. I would imagine. So I'm trying to think of other things that really stood out to me. It's pretty cool. I thought, oh yeah, the Ice Dragon, that was fucking rad. All coming down, baby. I would have liked it,

and I guess I'm being pretty. I really did like the season. I would have liked it better if you didn't see the Knight King bring that thing back at the end of episode six. You just know it's down. there and then episode seven happens and you see the fucking ice dragon you're like oh shit as opposed like really leading me by the nose

I totally forgot about that but I guess like if you guys know what this dude's deal is just like touching people and bringing them back to life like I saw like the there was an ice giant hanging out among other things like and I guess all the dead bears and whatnot or whatever those creatures were but I totally

one of those bears by the way quickly recognized our fallen brethren Thoris of Mur Yeah. They killed Thoris, man. That was fucked up. The red priest, man. The guy who freezes to death. Oh, he was a white walker at the end. I didn't notice him. No, no, no, no. He just died in this season. And I'm trying to remember a character that only I care about. Well, can I say that I will say one thing that was complete bullshit was the Benjin X Machina?

Uh, well, like, it's like, oh my God. I'm here. I'll die for you. Goodbye. Yeah, who was that dude? That's his uncle. Okay, so he ranged beyond the walls in season one, and then he went missing, and it was a mystery, and everyone just assumed he was dead. But in the books, this is also adapted from a character called Cold Hands, who is a super cool dude.

It's basically like an undead guy that's helping the good guys instead of helping the army of the dead. Oh, nice. And it was always like, I think he rode like a giant elk or something in the books. It was a lot cooler in the books. But in the show, they ended up having him be Benjin. I think George R. Martin said he wasn't Benjyn Stark, but, you know, it just works better for the story. And I understand that it seems very convenient.

But if he's beyond the wall, I mean, what is he fucking doing up there? He'd have to do something. Maybe he was tracking the night thing. It was like he did a Call of Duty air strike. though like it just happened he was in trouble he hit the button and the guy came back I just need one I need one shot of him roaming

like and hearing like seeing smoke in the distance or hearing something you know what here's the thing Chris is you don't get to complain about stuff like this if you're advocating for this to be quicker that's a good point I would like actually got you there I would like a whole episode where Benjin is like married to a polar bear and she wants him

to like give up the ghost and you know he's like thinking about it like oh I shouldn't go out there anymore the Night King and then he sees John and he has to like tell this polar bear that he's going out one last time and she's upset and then the polar bear gives him a Coca-Cola he's married to that polar bear and it's a very loving relationship wait so we haven't seen that dude since season one uh he appeared last season briefly i believe it was last season with brand yeah his brand get back to the wall to like i think he saves brand at some point yeah oh yeah oh i see i will say uh i will say uh i I think my favorite scene was Elena Tyrell's last stand there when she tells Jamie that he fucking poisoned Joffrey and was like, well, fuck you. Yeah, it's pretty great. Jamie's had a pretty good season. They're figuring out where they want him to be.

And I do like the last shot of him leaving Searcy and like getting this. I love adventurer Jamie. It's the best version of him. And getting the snowflake on the glove, like, you know, winter is here, et cetera. dope. Oh, that was a nice, a nice little touch. Like, oh, fuck here. And then you get the Vids Quiraldi version of the Game of Thrones score.

It's like, do do, do, do, do, dude, you know what, Steve? It doesn't matter what the world is. Everybody loves Christmas. What do you do on a Westerosian Christmas? Do you, like, just decapitate each other? I think so. Your enemies.

To the moon god or something? You take like the youngest kid, you cut its head off and you put it at the top of the tree. That sounds about right. I just want to quickly mention my favorite, I guess, battle of this season, Andrew, you did not actually see because I think it was an episode four or five or something. Okay. It was, they'd sacked High Garden and they had taken the gold to Kings Landing and they were moving out.

I believe it was all their food and Danny swoops in with a dragon and fucking burns the Lannister Army alive. episode worth going back to it's it's yeah oh i read about this this was the thing where they set a record for most dudes in fire suits like in one shot or some shit you you do get a sense of that by the way and quiburn had you know the maister for circe and hand hand of the queen now made this ballista to try to kill the dragons um and one of my i think my favorite death of this entire sequence is an unnamed Dothraki being shot point blank with this gigantic ballista arrow that just nails him to a wall. Ooh, I like that.

You remember what episode that was so I could go back? It was four or five. I think that's four. I'm pretty sure that's four. It's really good. It's very good. Hey, so what's going on with one of my fave characters that bald eunuch? What's that guy up to?

He didn't have like, he didn't have like any lines in the two episodes. Short answer, not much. Just kind of around, you know. Council member, he's been relegated to counsel. I mean, he's just kind of hanging out with. Well, that's the thing is once the show moves away from, you know, the whole political angle and the spy master thing,

he doesn't really have much to do. Yeah, that's true. I mean, he's not like fighting and he's not like a lead politician or whatever. You know what, John Snow, just fucking lie. Like, yep. Oh, totally. Yeah, I will, yeah, I have no allegiance to anybody, man. I'm a free agent.

Yeah. That was so fucking stupid dude That's what Dinklage was even saying to It was like what the fuck is your problem You honorable jerk That's after everybody hangs up Everybody leaves the meeting And like you fucking blew it

Just say yes you could deliver in six weeks Just say it and we'll figure it out You just lost the account Dude everybody lies in a job interview Exactly No what you want to do is drag it out As long as you can That's the best interview

I don't like the mountain's new helmet it looks like a master's of the universe reject thing it's a bad look for him he looks like he does look like shredder he looks like a fucking

a super shredder that got left out in the sun too long that is disgusting it's a bad look the last season he had that cool gold outfit that's cool now I don't know there's way too much black on the show

and everyone's got these like studded jackets what the hell was dinklage wearing last night it's like Michael Jackson's burial suit, man. I didn't get it. I thought he looked pretty cool. You know. Yeah, I mean, I did, I mean, that stuff didn't really, you know, occur to me, Steve. Yeah, well, costume design's important, man.

Of course. Well, it's one of those things, if it looks to like, you know, contemporary earth or something. Yeah. Like it kind of takes you out of it a little bit. Like how there's that one moment. where the hound is explaining to that red-headed gentleman that dick means cock. Oh, right. Oh, yeah.

You mean Tormund Giants Bain. Yes. And it was just like, you know what, man, enough. Enough. These are all fucking dragon riding, sword-wielding, fucking heathens. They're not talking about dicks and cocks. Yes, they are. That's actually pretty true to the books, actually.

Well, of course it is because it's written by a five. fucking fat guy from Jersey. That's what makes it great. He couldn't resist. I'm surprised they're not eating fucking hero sandwiches all over this. Now you know, Tormond, if you go to this little shop and you ask them to make it animal style, they'll double the meat for you.

Exactly. It's not on the menu, but if you ask Giorgio in the back, they'll double the meat. Look at that guy. He's a fucking. I didn't, uh, I didn't appreciate the, I will say I didn't appreciate the lack of, uh, Klegain bowl. Yeah, I was really, I thought it was going to happen there in that arena, right? Yeah, that's that, that's where I thought it was going to happen.

What's, uh, I think that season, it has to happen to fill Andrew in. And he, um, so there was a guy named Sandor Caglain. Oh, boy. And he became the, uh, he became the hound and his brother Gregor Clegglane is the mountain. Right. So the whole thing is like, oh, they're going to eventually fight each other. That's why they've kept the hound alive this long. He's going to have to finally kill the mountain. I see. There was definitely that

moment. By the way, he's also the guy that burned his face that, you know. Oh, the mountain burned the hound's face? Yes. Yes. Well, yeah, because there's definitely that moment in like episode six where that fucking ice bear is coming down on the hound. And I was like, here it comes. And then that didn't happen. Well, no, somebody else has got to die first. Well, I'm shocked that Barak Dondarian's still running around. He's been dead in the books for a long time. Really? Yeah. He actually, in the books, he gives his life to resurrect

Caitlin Stark, who then becomes Lady Stoneheart, who is actually the person that ends up starting to kill the phrase and not Aria. I don't know. I think it was a good, decision not to have zombie mom out there? Caitlin, Caitlin Stark, yeah, she was the mother. That's what I was just about to ask. Sean Bean's wife. Yes, the Tully mother.

That's her maiden name, yes. Oh, and, oh, is that is that badass nuns still around? What's her deal? You know, she got a chilling and what is the thing where she's like, she getting like, what's going on? It's like every day it's worse.

for her for some reason? What none? The high sparrow none. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, right. They threw it to the mountain at the last season, I think. And she hasn't been seen from since. Yeah, I think he's... Oh, is that right?

The lady who was like, when... That led the shame procession? When Sansa had to marry Joffrey there and she came... I think you're thinking of Tyrell. I think you're thinking of the mother. Yes. And she's dead, too. She's dead, but she killed,

Jamie, like, Jamie kind of took over. What's, what's her land, Eric? High Garden. High Garden. He took, yeah, it's part of the reach, I believe. So Jamie took over Highgarten and, like, he forced her to kill herself, essentially. I almost spit wine all over the place.

Well, I mean, it was forced her to kill her stuff. She dig her own grave? Yeah, he's like, either I'm going to skewer you or you can poison yourself. Oh, shit. essentially and then at the end of it she and it was it was so like it's so cold she just like yeah and i fucking i poisoned your son your stupid fucking sadistic son oh she let it slip that she poisoned job she didn't let slip she said it very very proudly that's amazing fuck you ice so Andrew by the way what what wine are you drinking tonight is that a is that a fine arbor gold

or is that a dornish red uh neither it's a uh sarah by porter and plot it's actually very good one of my fave wines but I do believe that's part of the veil oh no that sounds like an earth wine I never touch the stuff yeah yeah sorry speaking of incest and this is a good place to sort of be

John and no one was but go ahead Geoffrey is a child born of incest and okay sure and now you've got you know John and Danny fucking and they're what uncle and nephew or whatever not nephew uncle and nephew look man

it's the end of the night. The shoes are off and the facts are wrong. Yeah. Okay. So Danny's father, shit, now I'm getting confused. So she's his aunt. Yeah, she is his aunt. Yes. And okay. And then so her brother, Ragar, he was killed by. That blonde fucker got killed in the first season. The flashback that you saw of Bran when he was like in the two people were getting married at the end. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's Raygar and Leanna. It's not the guy from the first season.

Visera. I don't know. V-something. But they made him, but they made that dude look like that because that actor was made up to look like Danny's brother from the first season. Right. Yeah.

And that dude was killed by one of them there. Drago. Yeah. Drago put like fucking gold on it, melted gold on his face. Oh, that's right. That was hot, dude. But I'm talking about Ragar right. now who was killed with a warhammer

by King Robert when he was fighting for the throne. And Robert Barathe and Mark Addy? Yes. Yes. Okay. Killed John Snow's dad and Danny's brother, older brother. And Brand's just doing like these

basically like that VR teaching tool that they have at the Simpsons. Hi Lisa, I'm Genghis Gone. Go where I go. Eat who I eat. Hi, Brand. I'm the night king follow me on my zombie horse did you guys hear that theory that brawn might be the knight king i think i was reading something about that in one of the like episode reviews i was

trying to read today but please elaborate well i guess the idea is uh well apparently the knight king was the 13th commander the lord's uh the knight's watch it is late at night so i'm getting my facts wrong and John was like the 998th or something so there's a there's a theory that like brand has gone back in time and influenced hodor to so he's going to start warging into people in the past and to try to prevent what happens and one of the theories is oh he goes back and he becomes uh brandon the builder the guy who made the wall in the first place well dude one one dude built that entire wall he's a very strong guy It took a while

But he made the wildlings pay for it And then That didn't really work So he keeps going back Until eventually He kind of becomes a villain Is the idea I don't know if it's going to be true

It might be a cool mind fuck But I kind of doubt it's true It seems a bit outlandish Even for this show To go that far out Yeah and I feel like Since they're in this like blockbuster mode. I feel like they're just

going to go for the big battle next season. But the thing is, the big battle, again, and I mean, like, yeah, I agree. Like, maybe you don't have to do quite so much of a Game of Thrones next season, but the White Walker... Oh, this game of Thrones. The White Walkers don't talk.

The Knight King doesn't talk. So it's, I mean, like, I'm... They're cool looking at all, and him riding a cool dragon A plus, but like, you gotta have like, uh-oh, he could talk now and he's voiced by Sean Connery. That's what you want. Oh, shit.

Dude, to hear that man say the word dragon again on the screen. Wasn't it Gene Hackman who said he will get back into movies, but he's not leaving his house? Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Gene Hackman is the nighting. Yes. I knocked down the wall with your erect nipples. Winter fell, Otis.

Winter fell. Oh, speaking of, is it Brand, a little time traveler there? Yes. The littlest time traveler. So I'm just, I'm playing the game of what happened to who. So he was originally with like a girl and then the kid from Love Actually. What happened to them? Well, the girl's fine.

Yeah, but Joe Jen Reed got stabbed to death by Zion. Oh, I think I saw that actually. Was that last season? I thought I remembered that child's death. Yeah, I think it was maybe... It was right before Hodor goes. Yeah, and then she drops him all the way off at Winterfell, and she's like, okay, I'm leaving.

And he's like, oh, do you need me to, like, give you a grading on Lyft? How does this work? And she got... Oh, do you need gas money? Oh, sorry. She got real pissed off because she was like, I thought, you know, hey man. I thought I thought it was the Moira McTaggart to your Professor X, dude. What's going on?

Oh, that's a shame. He does icees her, dude. He just, the cold shoulder. And then, you know, because he's become the three-eyed raven. He doesn't really identify as Brand Stark anymore. Oh, sick. He's like Prince with the symbol. And Von Seidow's done, right?

He was in like one episode or something. Right. He's in two or three. His original character name, I believe, was Brendan. Brendan Rivers, who... Brendan Rivers sounds like he should be fucking singing for the killers. For Mr. Brightside,

I'm coming out of my cage. How did I get in this cage? I'm doing just fine. I beat the grimripper in a game of chess. All the bastard names I love, they briefly mentioned that John snow should be John Sand before then they realize, oh, he's a legitimate Targaryen. But there is a bastard name in Game of Thrones in the books, at least, for flowers.

Oh, really? Yeah. In the high, like a bastard from the high garden region would be flowers. Like Iric tulip. No, flowers. Flowers. Just flowers. Oh, it's not different types of flowers.

So if you're born a bastard in High Garden, you're like Chris Flowers. Yeah. Yes. That's interesting. Um, oh, what was it? Oh, I, damn it. Oh, I just had a question about Ron, but have we talked about a Sam with Jim Broadbent. Oh, man. Jim, no. All of Jim Broadbent, Andrew. Jim Broadbent was on this season. He's a maister, man. Fuck. That's kind of, yeah. That was a fun little, that was the best I've ever liked Sam. We'll play enough Jim Broadbent. And, uh, Sam also does this like, uh, illegal back alley surgery on, on Jora Mormont and removes his gray scale. Yeah, he's like, he's like Jerry, he's like Jerry Orbach in Dirty Dancing. Oh my God. Wow, bravo.

He's like, well, they've got to change this law, but here I go. Wait, was Jim Broadbett like a, like a head librarian or something? Oh, I think I saw some of that at some point. Maybe on the previously on part of the episode that, yeah. that's a lot of what he's doing right is like librarian work yeah it's a it's a maister at the citadel right and so that was so what was what was the deal with that he he declares that he uncovered some what was sam's like big reveal was this an actual reveal for people that watched the show he essentially reveals that john is a targary so that was so that at that moment in that

episode was like everybody was learning that for the first time or was like were there It's been hinted at forever. The last season we had flashbacks to the Tower of Joy where Ned Stark's running up to save his sister in the tower. I mean, I feel like everyone saw this coming. And by the way, it's Gilly who reads it offhand in the diary of this old maister that's long dead. And Sam kind of just doesn't give a shit and whatever. And then he puts it together once Brand mentions John.

John's parentage being Ragar and Ilana Stark. Right, but so Sam definitely takes credit for her discovery though. Oh, yeah. She took credit for my salad. It's exactly the same thing. It was a Lee

and Kirby situation. He's like, no, I invented the X-Men all by myself. Wait, so Eric, is Sam now in charge of the Tarlies fucking got eviscerated literally. Well, no, actually

Sam gave up all of his worldly life when he joined the Knights Watch, which he was forced to do by his father, who, by the way, Andrew, in that episode four I was talking about Danny Burns his father alive and his brother. And that's the episode after.

That's the beginning of the fifth. Right, right. It's the start of the next episode. Him and his brother, which is pretty great. And I mean, like, but what happens? Is it go to the neighbor then like how does that work um i would i think they would rise up one of their bannermen to take over that house um yeah because i actually i think the lannisters were never even castorly rock at one point i think was it the reins of casimir they had like murdered some other house to gain that there's a lot of it was a lot of dealings stuff going on there which

which which uh brings me to the golden company which has been mentioned a few times in this season Is that Mark Gattis? Excuse me? The guy from Sherlock, he plays the banker guy who comes. Yeah, now that's the Iron Bank. Where she was talking about, like, they're going to use funding from the Iron Bank in Bravo to hire the Golden Company, which has not yet appeared on screen. But it is like the best mercenary band in Esos, but it's comprised of...

A bunch of 80s action stars teaming up in one movie. Oh, my God. Black Rock. That would be great. bit of stunt casting. If she brings back the Golden Company and it's Dolf Lundran, Sylvester Stallone. And me, Arnold Schwarzenegger. Hello, we are always on Westerosia. Yeah. But what they are, they are, they're basically, you know, mercenary nights from exiled Westerosi houses. And I think it's really weird that they're saying like, oh, she's going to just hire the Golden Company and things are going to go. go well for her. But if you think about it, a lot of the people in the Golden Company are probably people who fled or were forced to flee because they supported the Targaryens in the war against

King Robert. So, her position is pretty weak. I don't know what her deal is at the end. I mean, it doesn't, I mean, like, I get what she's doing. Like, she thinks like, oh, if they go off and fight the Night King, you know what I mean? It's going to, both of my enemies will fight and I'll take care of what's left. But I, not a good idea. I don't know, man. I got the vibe that Circe's running on fumes, and I only watch two of seven episodes. Yeah. It does seem like...

When that golden company shows up, and you get Arnold Schwarzenegger walking into King's Landing, and he stands next to the mountain and goes, how are you? How are you doing? Nice to see you again. I'm Detective Richard Kimball. Wait, not Richard.

It was John... Detective John Kimball. Richard Kimball. Hello, I'm Dr. Richard Kimball. I did not kill my wife. Oh, speaking of the gold company. It was the one-armed man. It was Jamie Lannister.

Jamie Lannister killed my wife. Speaking of the golden company, here's a question I had. That dude who left to go like to sail there and hire those dudes, you look like a fat Joshua Jackson. Who's that guy? You're on grade,

that's your in grade, that's the uncle. Oh, oh, oh. And he's Theon's brother? You need a bastard. Uncle. Uncle. uncle. But they're like fucking three years apart. But yeah,

that's how that works sometimes. And I know. I mean, everybody's just fucking constantly. I mean, you just need somebody who's really fucking a nephew. Yeah. You do have an aunt fucking a nephew. That's right. Do you think everyone's going to throw up when they find out that John and Danny your brother are our nephew and

aunt? Like, how does that, how is everyone going to deal with that? You know what I mean? Like, but isn't everybody hip to Jamie and Searcy? And wait, now, are we talking about, real life or in the show? In the world of the show. In the world,

I don't think they would freak out because it's been a custom for Targarians to Intermarry, I think because they're preserving their blood from High Valeria, which is a totally different part of the world. Oh, High Valeria.

It's more... High Valeria was with Dane DeHan and that chick from Suicide Squad. No, it's that HBO show where a Valerian goes and hooks people up with weed every different episode. That's right. They ride a dragon to every single different apartment.

And all the extras from Law & Order are still there. Still hanging out. I do think actually, like, it's, would you rather, if you had sex with somebody, you know, you met, you know, it was really cool. And, like, you know, you went through some wars. You finally have sex with you each other. Would you be more surprised that that dude wind up, wound up, wound up. up being your nephew or that dude used to be dead for a while

oh well if the the dude that was dead for a while am I related to that person yeah like what would be more surprising it's necrophilia and incest or just incest yeah I guess I'm just going incest

this is how I'd frame it okay like oh yeah oh my nephew that I'm related to yeah he died no this is a new guy he's uh he's reborn yeah that checks out man you could validate it that way you know what dude whatever helps you sleep I mean there aren't any blood tests back in Westeros

very true yeah it's mostly hair color the fuck you want so I pulled something up here that I think might be a good way to kind of start to start wrapping up this convo so IMDB had this thing

burning questions for Game of Thrones season 8 now season 8 well is this set to be last season of the show? Yes. It's seven more. So, all right. So first question they had, what does John Snow's true lineage mean for his relationship with

DeNaris Targary? It's incest. Yeah. Yeah. You know. Well, I guess it's like when they find out that info, are they going to be like, ew, or are they going to like keep fucking? It's definitely going to be uncomfortable for a little bit.

I don't think it's, you know what? I mean, again, I said. there's precedence for fucking relatives as a Targary. I think the real question about that is because technically in the line of succession to the Iron Throne, John is the one that should inherit it and not

Danny because his father would have inherited it and then he would inherit it and women are obviously passed over nonstop for Right. Well and he... Everything. And then what was that thing where he was like... Because when he was recovering in the bed and he was

like, I can't bend down my knee, but he asks her to be his queen, right? Yeah, no, he does kind of give up any and all kingdom at that point. That's true, but I mean, they're just going to get married and it'll be it's all going to be gravy, yeah. They're going to be a power couple. They're going to continue to be a power couple. Right, yeah. Okay, so this one I'm concerned about, but I feel like at this point, this dude's too big and he's just going to like walk back out dusting his shoulders off, but they ask, did torment giants Bain survive the attack of the wall? I think so.

I think you have to see his death. He's a big enough character at this point, right? You can't get killed off panel. He might die in the first episode. Like, you know what I mean? Like, you might not fully escape, but we're definitely seeing him again. You see, you at least, like, see the death of Christopher, if Hivju or however you say his name. And then there's going to be a scene with, like, Brianne, like, kind of, like, hearing the news and kind of crying.

By kind of crying, do you mean pulling a tree out of the ground and throwing it? Well, you know, by the way, I mean, so he, you know, we assume he'll come back because we didn't see him die on screen, but we also didn't see Barak Dondarian die, the lightning lord, let's bring him back. Barric Ding-Dong Daryan. Yeah, and who was that dude again? I thought he was Robert Carlyle for a second. He is Barak Dondarian, and he's been killed like six. times and he's been brought back from the dead

by the Lord of the Light, just like John Snow was eventually brought back. What's with the Lord of the Light, man? Just let people perish. What's the fucking problem? What's with the Lord of the light period? You know, let's figure that out. He works in mysterious ways and he's got a plan for everyone

which is, you know, Sandor Klegain sees a vision in the fire and that's what kind of makes him join up with the crew and go up there. So there's also Azora a high. There's the prince that was promised, all

the prophecies and legends within this mythos, that's for another. Have you heard about the Lord of the Light? Can we interest you in a brochure today? So he's, I mean, Lord of the Light is just like their bullshit God figure. It's not going to like be revealed

that he's played by Jim Belushi or something. No, I don't think so. Although that would be great. Hey, Melisandra, make me a sandwich. Oh, shit. Oh, hey. Searcy, what are you ruling over there? The kitchen? Speaking of Searcy, next question,

will Searcy's duplicity put Westeros in jeopardy? Yeah, because those zombies are fucking common, man. That's been answered every fucking season. Exactly. Also, like, I don't know. I mean, I know that she's the queen and nobody's voting for her, but like she blew up like everybody, everybody loved. She basically, like, how are they not fucking pulling this lady's head?

a spike at this point. Yeah, she blew up the septa Baylor with wildfire and killed a very popular religious movement. Where are the religious terrorists? Well, I mean, here's the question where you've got to ask ourselves, everybody. Like, what does it take to get a

fucking totally inept, incompetent ruler to be removed from power? I mean, what does it take? I mean, but they did, I mean, so wait, is the Mountain Bannon then? Oh, did you see what's under that shredder mask, absolutely the mountains

banning. Their eyes look the same. Well, it's good to know that it'll be on his way out soon. I'm going back to Bright Bart. I'll have more power with my pen. Hey, you know what? If they ever get their heads out of their asses and

make that Friday the 13th Crystal Lake during winter movie, that dude who plays the mountain should play Jason. Oh yeah, man. Yeah, he's the right size. That'd be pretty cool. All right. So, this was the thing. I was actually surprised to see that Ian Glenn

Jora Mormont was still on this show. I figured he would have fucking eaten shit a while ago. They asked, how is Jora going to react when he learns of DeNaris and John's relationship? I mean, he's just been like mooning over that lady forever, man. Like it's just, it's been over.

Figure it out. Yeah. Yeah. I feel like after... Go ahead. After he had to watch Dario go in there. I feel like he's just happy to be back. I mean, he'll probably look into the keyhole and jerk off by the door. And I think he'll settle for that. I think he likes that.

Yeah. Well, and also, if you come back from grayscale, I think you're just happy for every day, man. Yeah, that's true. The new leaf on life. What is this gray scale shit? Is that like when you take crocodile? He was essentially, he had alligator scales on his skin and Sam had to like pry them off. Oh, I sort of remember.

So what happened? He hooked up with a dragon one night or what? I don't know. Is it an STD, Eric? It's like leprosy, essentially. Yes, exactly. I think he got touched by a stone man when he was in Esos with Tyrion. And that spreads quickly.

If you remember Stannis's daughter, Shereen, who was burned alive or whatever the fuck. Oh, yeah. To a piece of Lord of the Light. Her face was also, she had a touch of gray scale that was able. able to be stopped and it was like such a oh my god how can anyone stop it well she was very young and she had the best medical care in the world because

she was you know a lordly her father was in the Senate if you're keeping score at home that little girl burned alive for no reason just in case you were wondering how that was going to pay off or if it was going to or if there's

no reason it was just cool to watch well that's what Davos is thinking every fucking minute oh fuck oh christ at least you taught him how to read oh that's right

um all right so this is this is a stupid one because you could literally do this for any character but what's next for sir jamie he's just gonna I guess he's just gonna kind of join up with John Snow

but I don't know it's gonna be hard for him it's gonna be weird I think he has to kill Searcy oh shit he will eventually there's a prophecy about like Circe had gone to like a fortune teller back

and you know she went to like a Renaissance festival and this lady told her as a kid that like oh like you're going to be you're going to be oh you're going to have

three kids and you're going to you're going to be queen but then a more beautiful queen will come down and then your brother will strike you down and she always interpreted

the queen to be what was Joffrey's wife again oh gosh Tyrell Matt, Matt, the younger Tyro, I forget her name. Marjorie Tarrell. Oh, yeah. Hey, what happened to her? She blew up.

Oh, she got a green fire, man. Say again? Yeah. She got eight by the green fire. Oh, that big explosion from last season. She was one of the casualties. Oh, that's a shame. And so, and then she thought Tyrion was the brother that was going to kill her.

But in the prof, you know, everyone on the internet's like, oh, well, Jamie's going to eventually kill her. And I can't wait. But I think Jamie's going to, like, hook up with Brianne. and go, you know, and obviously John Snow, but I feel like there's a good dynamic with those two. I was just going to say, I like the dynamic that those two actors have with each other. So, yeah,

when they sort of like, they had like a brief scene or whatever in this finale that I was like, oh yeah, that was cool. I like them together. Also, just a note, Gwendolyn Christie is in the new season of Top of the Lake and it's amazing. Are you kidding me? I am not. Is Jane Campion still

directing those or what? She directed the, she's directing like two or three of them. Is she, and this, there you go. Go ahead, Steve. No, is she doing like a New Zealand accent or not, what's going on? Uh, it, she lesser, like, it's more British. Okay, that's good because, yeah, uh, Elizabeth Moss's was kind of a plane crashing, but, you know, that's, that's it. Is she still on that show?

Oh, yeah. Really? What are they in, like, the third season in that show? No, this is only a second. Oh, okay. Um, all right. So, uh, this is one I have interest in just because I like Alfie Allen, but does Theon have a chance against year on

I feel I think so yeah he beat the shit out of that dude at the end it was fucking awesome that's when I think he got a little bit

of his fucking quiff back and just beat that dude up I mean I think it makes sense for his character arc I don't know I don't see why

they would have him like step up and save his sister than to just be a coward again or get defeated right I feel like he's gonna give

his life I feel like just because so many you can't have everybody all the good guys win at the end here you know what I mean

some people are That is kind of what it's happening. And it feels like fan service or fan fiction at this point. Because George Aramarton always kept you on your toes a little bit more than these last two seasons. Because we're well beyond the books now. Oh, is that right? We left the books in the dust. A while ago.

Yeah, John Snow is still dead in the books. And Stannis is alive to give you an idea. Oh, okay. Yeah, I mean, there's been no dick kicks this season. You know what I mean? Like every season there's been like one or two dick kicks. Like, oh, man, I didn't want that to happen. this season not so much

I love that Theon is like dick proof you know like he's speaking in no dick kicks yeah he's like he's impervious to dick kicks it's awesome I think dude you know what that was I think that's like when Hulk Hogan had to hear it from the crowd like just keep kicking me where my dick used to be before it got cut off and I'm gonna fucking go berserker on you kick my bump

I think you know Greyworm's got a bump too that's true yes he does I feel like those two would be, oh my God, those would be the perfect assailants to finally kill Kevin McAllister. Because he would like try and do like all this dick trauma to them, but they'd be like, nah, son. Oh, right. That would be awesome. And they would just brutally murder him. Who will lead House Stark into the long winter?

It's got to be Sansa, I think. Yeah, I think she's taking it. I guess this, I mean, this question, IMDB is sort of saying like maybe ARIA kind of takes over or something. No, she's going to be out there killing people and, like, wearing white hats and saying, I'm going to have them for dinner. I have to have an old friend for dinner. I have to go. I live to leave Westeros and go to Costa Rica. I have to put on a new face, and then I will see my friend. That's what I love about this show and the books is every single character feels like they could be their own character and we don't need any of the other story. Like, I could just give me Aria being Hannibal Lecter and I'm cool in it. Totally. I mean, she's already wearing the fucking. faces man what more do you need that's a show that i'll watch what if she i mean like i guess you

would anything you do of this show would probably be a prequel but what if it's like you know everything kind of settles out and you know all the kingdom is cool but like maybe maisie williams just goes on being an assassin for hire see i would watch that well she's going to be a new mutant so that's not happening oh god just with these fucking x-men already uh their final question is a stupid one but just to wrap it up is a season finale truly a season finale without a peep

from Lord Veris someone got fucking paid to put this together FYI I mean yeah that fucking bald eunic didn't talk and I was bummed about it

but that's the last question really IMDB I kind of like the last talk that Tyrion has with him I think that's a good little talk they have there yeah and there'll be some more stuff

and I mean it is oh no gosh shit I know it's late, but let's all fucking Coup up. Chris Crabbin, you piece of fucking shit. So do they have a date for this season 8 premiere yet? No. 2019.

Get out of town, really? Yeah. And is it another like super short like seven episodes? Yep. Really? Yep. So they're like, we're fucking doing. They really, yep.

They don't give a shit anymore. Well, they have to make their bullshit confederate show or whatever the fuck. They get to ramp up this marketing machine for a, full fucking calendar year. Dude, you don't need it. Everybody who's watching it is watching it. But they're still going to do it. You know it. Don't, don't shy away

from it. It's going to happen and it's going to be disgusting. Are we doing early 2019 like we usually did? It usually came back in April. Are we talking like July like they did this time? I have no idea. I guess it's so far in the future. Who knows? I would think.

Ask him. All right. I'm won't weigh in because i've only seen two episodes but for the you three guys to wrap it up were you satisfied with this season bummed out a little in the middle what i was mostly satisfied i liked a lot of it i like a lot of where everything kind of is falling into place uh there was really there were like a lot of high marks a lot of the fighting was really cool but i do miss the more subtle aspect of the show which probably won't come back and i'm also not super jazzed to see seven episodes of ice zombies unless they could figure out a way to make them talk or make them have motivations

other than just scratch claw kill. That's me. Yeah, I mean, I think I'm mostly on the same page as Steve here, but I'm holding out hope that, you know, in the next season we get like half of it, you know, of Searcy being murdered every episode. And then we, and then we could turn our attention to, you know, the, yes, the Great White North. I was mostly, like, yeah, I mean, I'm not going to lie and say I don't miss those things, but they, I'm glad that they finally allowed this to just be, like, fan service for a little bit. Yeah. And I don't think they could have pulled off, like, having as much attention to all the little details and still get this thing out the fucking door. Right.

And they do need to get this thing out the fucking door. because they got three or four more series ready for this for this thing coming off of but I was satisfied I was overall very satisfied and they haven't said when any of these spinoffs are going to be or anything like that not to my knowledge no no well the the popular theories was

okay well maybe it'll be Roberts Rebellion where you get to seeing King Robert Young and young Ned Stark and all that and George Aramaran said that's not one of the ones being considered and then I was like oh well maybe they'll do Dunkin Egg which is this great like a series of like novellas he did

that takes a place a hundred years before about like a dumb oaf guy trying to become a knight and it's more lighthearted, more adventurey more like not as grim as Game of Thrones gets. So I thought it would be a nice direction to go and he said they're not doing that either.

So it's it's kind of up in the air. Who knows what it's. Maybe it's everybody in high school. People like to do that. Like oh, sir, he's in high school with John, with Ned Stark for some reason. Or like that new show coming out on CBS,

Little Sheldon fucking kill me dead where I stand. Oh man, little Ned being honorable everywhere he goes. By the way, I think I solved this problem of these fucking, I almost called them Frost Giants, but these ice zombies not talking. You could do what they did in that movie,

a ghost story where it's just the two ghost sheets looking at each other, and then you just see subtitles without any sound whatsoever. I'm cool with that. I'm into it. Like, why, who gives a shit? Like, they just look at each other and it's all in like the facial expressions and then you see the subtitle and it's over with. But I feel like it's just going to be Brann. Like, Brand's going to be the interpreter of the Night King 4.

Oh, that could be. No, how about this? Brand's like going back and watching all these people. And then he's just like, he's just like making shit up, you know? Like, he's just like, I think he would say, you know, something like this. Oh, no, I could read lips, Sansa. Look. dude the fucking the three-eyed raven crooked interpreter that's a spin-off that's a spin-off right there well yeah because yeah you can just say whatever you want man it's like if some servant like pisses you off like oh I saw that that person killed

a bunch of people they should be hung from a tree yeah oh oh that person oh she's stealing things bailish was actually a good guy all this time oh man he saw it from brand's perspective man he was fucking giving the death penalty and wrongfully executed. That's a bummer. Well, I think that wraps up. W.H.M. Onscreen Game of Thrones Season 7.

Should I tease one of the upcoming on screens for the fall, a certain Netflix program? Oh, please. Yeah. We will be talking. In some capacity, I don't know what it's going to be just yet. Stranger Things Season 2.

So we haven't yet decided if that's a main feed thing. a Patreon thing? I don't know. So you better just on the safe side, sign up Patreon.com slash we hate movies. Just to let you know we've also been kicking around, maybe we'll do Punisher. And possibly discussing the new Punisher show. When's that come out?

That's November. November. My God, it is going to be a busy fall here on We Hate Movies. So until next time, I'm Andrew Jupin. Chris Cabin. Stephen Sadek. Edric Siska. Take it easy. That was a HeadGum podcast.