We Hate Movies - S7: WHM On-Screen: Rogue One

Episode Date: December 22, 2016

On this very special WHM On-Screen, the gang gather 'round to chat about the new Star Wars film, the pseudo-standalone prequel, Rogue One! Did we really need this many characters crammed in? What's with Forest Whitaker's robot feet? And was Peter Cushing on the Polar Express? PLUS: Mads Mikkelsen critiques Disney World. Rogue One stars Felicity Jones, Diego Luna, Alan Tudyk, Donnie Yen, Ben Mendelsohn, Forest Whitaker, and Mads Mikkelsen; directed by Gareth Edwards.Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

I'm going to be able to be. Welcome to a very special WHM on the screen, everybody. I'm Andrew Jupin, alongside Human Soundboard Eric Siska. I'm doing the Imperial Alarm. Oh, you know what? I'll D. I'll D you one better. That little mouse group. That guy came back at this movie.

I almost stood up and applauded. I love that, dude. My favorite character. That is Steve Sadek over there. We're talking about Rogue One. a Star Wars story, which just came out. So we all went to the theater and saw it

and here are our thoughts about it. So of course, spoiler, spoiler, spoiler. If you haven't seen the movie, we're going to be talking about it left and right up and down. Any and all secrets will be revealed. That's right. We stole the secrets. Wait, so what the hell thing were you talking about?

Mouse droid? There's a little thing in the... In the Death Star, it was like a little droid with wheels. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And Chewy yells at it and go, and then it goes, it's a little RV truck. Yeah.

I don't know. I think it's a Roomba. That's my guess. It's always been my guess. It's a Roomba. Definitely is. It's vacuuming. These floors are disgusting.

Where is Roomba? Rumba 5. So this is a movie. Rumba leader. It's a movie that takes place in the Star Wars universe. Oh, yeah. That is outside. of the Star Wars saga.

Is it? Well, that's what they sold it to us is. That's the one unfortunate thing is I think it's tied in too heavily. Yes, so elaborate on that, if you please. Well, okay. I mean, it's like, clearly we're stealing the plans for the Death Star.

Right, so that has to be tied into it, and that makes total sense. Sure. But, I mean, you know, the elephants in the room, like having Leia up here is kind of weird. I like Vader appearing, and I think Vader is great in this. Sure. But it's just, I didn't expect it to be as prequally as it was.

I expected it to be more self-contained. They steal the plans, Bing, Boom, Bomb, Yada out of there. It's very prequally. I mean, it's like the same afternoon. Yeah. I didn't, I mean, we got out of the theater and my wife and I were saying to each other, like we didn't think it was going to run up so close to a new hope. I mean, that's the scene.

Here's my question. I mean, this might be a good way to start, ish. If you had to give it one out of ten stars, because, I mean, we all loved Force Awakens. Our Force Awakens pod is... So we'll start saying... When I saw Force Awakens, I would have given it ten stars. And I still stand by that, I think.

Yeah, I think so. So this, I mean, I would say six. Six, yeah. I'm at like a five and a half of six. That's kind of where I'm too. It really didn't bowl me over. I mean, there's enough it here to live. like. There's tons in here to like, really, but there's a lot in here not to like, enough to

really detract from the experience. For me anyway. There's also, I feel too much to like to the point where I couldn't keep track of everything that I could have possibly liked. Sure. So, I only liked the things that I was like glomming on to, knowing full well that there's so much other stuff going on that I'm just missing. It's, I mean, but it's not even that. I just feel like there's so much in this movie. Like, this is too many cooks. Like you can, you can clearly tell like this is a very too many cook scenario i was waiting for all those shots i saw on the trailers to happen yeah like none of them did so do you recall any of those i mean it's been a while since i've seen there was um there was it was shown that there would be like a bigger beach battle

i think there was even footage of uh june orso running with the death star plans on the beach there was oh director krennick with the cape floating in the water which looked great and that was like the movie there's a great line of uh of gin uh Felicity Jones there saying, like, well, we're rebels, let's rebel. Right. That's a cool line. And I feel like her character and a lot of the main characters kind of get undercut because we have to do other stuff that I'm not crazy about.

I was very underwhelmed by all of these new characters. I mean, Jin Orso was fine. You know, Diego Luna, I was totally underwhelmed. I dug him, but he didn't do anything. You know what I mean? Like he's got that first scene where he kills that dude. And you're like, oh, cool. He's like an honest to goodness assassin.

for the rebels. See, that motherfucker definitely shoots first. Yes, exactly. And I'm like, oh, that's cool. But, and then, like, he just kind of hangs out for most of the movie. I will say, like, I saw it once,

and then I went back and saw it again, and I liked it way more. Okay. And when I was first watching it, I just felt like I was waiting for it to get going, and then the pacing, I thought, felt a little weird. Sure.

You know, maybe it was a chop job or whatever. But when I rewatched it, it did kind of click for me more and I did like some of the new characters like with Donnie Yen as the the spiritualist Yeah I guess that was my question

He was I think he just worships the force Like he would be someone who worship the Jedi He's yeah so he's not an action Or he would probably would have been a Jedi if he was trained But just you know what I mean Like it's like He's just a fan boy Yes exactly

Yes he's a standard for me Yeah he's like a Phoenix Jones type That was an interesting visual And I don't know like how it relates to like the Jedi as a religion or whatever but there's there's that one shot of like the temple that or whatever that's what's clearly like a statue that's fallen yeah and is like covered up in sand and stuff there is a mention i think it was even tarkin we'll get to it but mentions it as as as jeta or whatever it was called as a holy city so this is like an ancient place where

jetti were from so it's sort of like the unrest there i think they're trying to you know kind of compared to Palestine or whatnot. A little bit of that going on there which is fine. I mean like that's a weird thing is this movie does do some sort of political stuff.

I do like in that first scene with I think his name is Cassian is Diego Luna's character. Yeah, Captain Cassian Andor. Where he kills that dude but there is this cool scene where the stormtroopers are asking for papers

and I'm like, yeah, yeah, that's what I want to see. Yeah, totally. Those dudes are getting like hassled in the alleyway or whatever. Yeah, yeah, exactly. like this is what the this is like that's what I wanted this movie to be a little more let's really explore what the actual reign of the empire looked like in the Star Wars universe what was it like to live during this time exactly like you don't you don't get that in the prequels because the prequels lead up to the empire and they're terrible and you don't get that in Star Wars because it's all about the fall of it you know what I mean I kind of like that middle ground there yeah and I think they do try to show the oppression and what I really do like about this movie is it feels this feels like cracking open an EU novel yeah this is like oh there's this cool cool dude that's like toughest nails he's part of this this this this band of like uh rebel intelligence and

they're doing all this crazy shit and krennick who actually thought was great bed mendelso's yeah yeah he's awesome yeah he's great i love that he's like you you've gotten so many of these imperials that are um like you know these tough bad guys but this is just like a like a like a weak man trying to get into that role, trying to move up the ranks and not being successful which is something different. There's

the great moment where he's talking to Vader and he's like you can tell he wants to be like a company man because he's like oh will you definitely tell the emperor that you feel that way or whatever then he just gets fucking choked out which is nice and you know people are upset about the pun

because he goes like don't choke on your ambitions counselor whatever the hell he Aspirations. But Vader's always been a punny bitch. Don't even, you know, like he's always, that dude never walked away from a pun in the original trilogy. No, totally. He can't help himself. It's just, if it's there, he's going to sniff it out, man.

Oh, he goes back to his manservant. I really knocked that one out of the part. I was actually. Did you like that? Did you hear it? Did you? Well, let me tell you. Okay, so credit came up.

And he was all like. I'm still in charge. And I joked it. And it was funny. I was, Vader's house, by the way, that's pretty cool.

That was awesome. And I was totally digging like his fucking hot tub or whatever. It's called a back to tank. Oh, I saw you saying that on Twitter. I was like, there's no tanks in that movie.

It's a back to tank, baby. Luke's in one at the start of empire. Do you think he's got like, he gets audio books in there and music? Oh, yeah, podcast. Does you have Sonos inside?

there or what? I keep listening to that show where those fat idiots talk about bad movies. They're okay. I like Mark Marin very much though. Did you know that he had Gillian Anderson on? Did he really

have Gillian Anderson on WTF? I don't know. I'm very glad that he and all of those comedians repaired their beef outside of the comedy store. Except for that one ill-fated meeting he had with that washed-up Gallagher. There's no

saving Gallagher from the dark side of Gobbon. I've often told the emperor I'm more of a Gallagher too, man. So, Eric, my question to you is, is his house because one thing this movie does that doesn't do is, you're right, it's castle. Is it on the Mustafa or whatever planet is where the lava planet where he gets all fucked up? That's a, that's a

weird place to buy real estate, man. It's like building their house on the fucking cemetery. Terry, man. What are you doing? It makes sense because, you know, you're a dark lord of the Sith and you, you know, and that's where, you know, all this bad shit happened to you. Sure. And if you want to, you know, you want to get the dark side juices flow and you look up at that view at that, that sandy lava beach and you get pissed off every morning. That's like building a house right next to my high school, man. Like, no way. I'm getting as far away as If you could be as powerful as Darth Vader, if you live next door to your old high school, would you do it?

Yeah, I guess you're right. Of course you would. That's cool. I didn't like in the beginning we're doing titles for planets, which we've never done in Star Wars, it bugs me. And we don't, we stop doing it actually, which is weird, because we don't get a title card for that, for Darth Vader's house, or we don't get a title card for the last planet as well. It's weird. Right. You know, honestly, I kind of didn't notice.

Really? I mean, I noticed I was reading stuff, but I didn't. didn't really think about it in the grand scheme of They don't do the last planet because they do it earlier in the movie because we've been there before. The beach planet, I don't think so. Yeah, don't we go to... Wait, Scariff? Or you're

talking about Mustafa? The lava? Wait, what do you... No, no, no, no. The planet where the battle happens at the end. No, I don't... That's a new one. No? Yeah. Yeah. All right. We do... Whatever Jada... Jada Pickett Smith's planet. We do...

No, I mean, I I liked this movie. I liked... The thing I will say about the titles, though, it's... I noticed it, too, and I think the thing that it sort of helps out

is with the expository dialogue. Yeah, yeah. Because there's no, like... Not that there's no, but there's less of... You have to go to this planet. It's there and do that thing. It's just like, you show up,

and it's like, whatever the fuck, uh, this is where, you know, the rebel headquarters is. Yeah. Done. Yeah. Done.

I read it. It took half a second. agree with that. And plus it in the beginning is very top heavy with like everyone's on different planets. So it has to kind of make sense. I was getting really lost. I was saying it earlier. I mean, I might bump this up to a to a seven out of ten or seven or seven.

Right now. You're doing it right now. Because the thing is when I first saw it, I was so like, where does this fall in the world of Star Wars? And I'm, I'm kind of, my mind is being bogged down because I'm a fucking loser and I'm analyzing every random thing. Sure. And that's, I feel like that's why it felt so stilted and maybe that I didn't I feel like the second time I saw it I clicked a lot more I could see that being the case I like it felt a lot faster like I was

like oh shit we're already we're already doing the last battle there but there are to me anyway some glaring stuff that I'm not going to let go of one of which being I kind of not crazy about Forrest Whitaker in this movie I don't know what his character does saw Guerrera Saw Garer sounds a lot like Shig Rivera it does and that's a cool And he's good in this movie. I agree with you. There's a problem here. There's so much in the cutting room floor, you can tell.

He's supposed to be a rebel splinter cell leader, like an extremist group. Which is cool. Which is great. But what they should have done to drive at home more, because Saw Guerrera's group attacks the Imperials on patrol, and that's how they're shown as being extremist. And I guess they're extreme because part of the rebel alliance is still trying diplomacy within the imperial Senate. but I want them to just fucking blow up a marketplace full of people. Yeah. Like they're civilians,

but maybe they're collaborators or he extremists will rationalize the death of civilians. And it would have been great depth. He's he's categorized as being an extremist by whoever calls him that. The Rebel Alliance, I think. even says that. Oh, she says it? Or I thought Jin maybe said it. But like, whatever.

What he's doing, like, it's not that extreme. Exactly. He's kind of just doing what the Rebel Alliance is doing in Star Wars. Yeah. Like in New Hope. But they haven't, I guess the ideas they haven't really started fighting yet until this movie. He's also got a silly snake that makes you crazy. And it's like, all right.

All right. I don't need Riz Ahmed in this movie And I like Riz Ahmed and I think he's good But I think you do need to whittle this cast down And like It's really cut him out And it's a little heavy Put him somewhere else

Because also we've seen We just saw an imperial officer flip You know what I mean In Force Awakens And actually to me it kind of lessens Finn a little bit Because when it happens in Force Awakens like Oh cool

I've never even thought about an imperial officer flipping And now it happens again in this movie And you're like oh all right I mean you know This is probably me being into the EU, but that's like a very common trope in that in that, you know, when you read all these...

Defectors. Yeah, sure. Yeah. They do all these different things. Here's the problem with Forrest Whitaker is that he needs to be in the rest of the movie. Yes. He's killed off very early on. And I think it's got a lot to do with those fucking fake feet he's got. Why does he have two robot feet? And you want

one fake leg, fine. I'm looking at this thing. It's like a fucking energizer bunny feet going better. It's really stupid. I think one of the, this is probably the first Star Wars movie to do flashbacks. Show me how he got those robot feet. Show, like, he's wiring a bomb that goes off. Sure.

Or maybe, like, he's going to blow up a marketplace, which I want to see, okay? You're very into that idea. You can have, here's what to see some ball sack aliens scream for its life. I just want to see, if Star Wars really wants to push the war angle. This is, give me the battle of Algiers. Yeah. This is how you can do it, too. you have someone be like

Hey, Jin Orso, how do you know Forrest Whitaker? Flashback scene, it's like fucking Leon, right? Yeah. And he's training her to do, you know, so it's like the little girl character, like he's just rescued her. And it's like, now this is what you have to do. Walk into this marketplace where all these fucking Balchianians are walking around. And they do allude to that.

You know, that's her beef is like, you left me on this planet because blah, blah, blah. Yeah, what was that mission where she got burned? And it's just, it's just dialing. And the problem is, this isn't a trilogy. We're never going to know what that is. You know what I mean? It's kind of a dropped line. And the other problem is we, aside from just overpacking this with characters, all mostly good.

I actually don't think there's a bad performance in this movie at all. I really don't. No, there's just too many. Not, not. Well, yeah. I mean, there's just, there's not enough room. So, like, they're all short change. But we're also the elephant in the room is we're packing this movie with fucking the ghost

of Peter Cushing, which is just a huge... I have no problem with that. Really? And I don't know why, because I don't like stuff like this. He took the Polar Express to the Uncaddy Valley and then just walked right out and started doing his lines. And here's the thing, though. You said that, but amazingly, so I got out of the movie.

You had seen it before. You both saw it before me. I got out of the movie. We were texting. You said the Polar Express thing, right? Cut to me in a Barnes & Noble. I'm flipping through a buck. I look over into the DVD section.

I'm like, what is this shit-ass, like, cheap fucking video game movie they have on there, Polar Express? Dude, that movie looks so much worse than you remember it. I'm sure it does. It's, I mean, this Peter Cushing looks like a fucking masterpiece compared to that shit. He's a cut scene from a PlayStation game, man. You know what I mean? Like, I just don't need real characters to interact with him. I kind of don't.

I think it's one of the bigger problems of the movie for sure. I feel like why didn't they just recast? You've announced your recasting con solo. I think I can handle someone else being recast, who was also recast and played by another actor in Revenge of the Sith, although it was very brief and I don't think he even had any lines, but get a dude that kind of looks like him, and I'll suspend disbelief.

It's the hubris, because you could have written around this a million ways. You could have recast. You could have him not in the movie. I think just... You could do the one-sided three-es. company phone call. Oh, what's that, Chrissy? You're not in this episode? Oh, no way. Our fucking fans let you get

away with that one. I would have been fine with that. Hello, Darth Vader. We have, we have, we have, we have, we have, we have, we have Vader in this movie. It's enough. It's kind of yeah, I say amp up the Vader. Yeah, sure. His, his, his awesome ending in this movie would have made more sense if he was in the movie more. Yes. Yeah, there's not enough Vader. There's just a lot of Peter Cushing and like this guy just doing his voice and like, It doesn't add anything.

It actually takes away from Ben Mendelsohn's character. You know what I mean? Again, you're just not using this right. It's just... The other side of it, though, unfortunately, I feel like if there was a ton of Vader, I feel like we'd be sitting here like... And what the fuck with all the Darth Vader in this movie?

I'm on the fence on the Vader. I'm okay with it, but like the last scene kind of... I'm all in, baby. I think it's awesome. It's cool. But like, it's not... What did you prefer when he was a little kid? Yeah, I love what he's looking.

It's just this weird thing where like literally 20 seconds later, you know, because I watched The New Hope today, just because I stayed home sick. And that's what you do when you stay home sick. You watch Star Wars. That's sure. Get some Coco going. That's code for drugs. Like, he's just absolutely savagely massacred these people really quickly.

And then in the next movie, he doesn't do that at all. You know what I mean? It's a little bit off for me. It's super cool. Most of my nerd body is like, yeah, he's doing it because it is so cool. But also the movie ended five minutes ago. TBAH.

Jarth Vader is supposed to be this evil legend that did shit like that. You know, maybe. And in the original trilogy, I know he's not shown massacring people, but it's something we were cheated out of with the prequels. And we had to make, I don't agree with it

happening instantaneously before a new hope happened. But I'm glad we got it in some way. And by the way, the Vader comic book by Marvel, which is great, is if you like that, that's all it is, basically. Just him fucking slaughtering lambs left and right? It's him as Freddie Kruger, basically. Oh, no, a bunch of young men cut down in their prime.

Go to sleep and I will enter your dreams. Oh, I'd like that. Fucking James Earl Jones could fucking enter my dreams any fucking day he wants. James Earl's before. He's getting a little old. We need to get, if we're doing a Vader movie, we got to do it. It's a little shaky. I agree. Do the Vader movie.

Well, hello. It's a little bit. Now you're doing a fucking Ozzy Davis impression. I remember Vader. It's close enough, man. Let me tell you, though, I'm not worried, and I'll tell you why. I used to have Darth Vader on a GPS. James Earl wasn't doing that.

We've got synthesizers now, man. We can make a Vader. Well, if we can make a fucking Peter Cushing, I guess we could do it. Next. You know what? He should have been a holiday. Yeah, yeah, exactly, he's on another planet. Hide it a little.

Exactly, that's fine. That's a good call. Because it's just, I don't want Alec Guinness showing up in this fucking Hans Solo movie fucking vacuuming a floor. You know, it's just like, we got to tell Disney this shit is not okay. Trust in the forest and the dust buster. Oh, hello, a nice diet Coke, delicious. Maybe he's doing an ad for that Rumba droid. Oh, hello, Nuprin, little yellow different.

He's just like, you know what, man, like, let these dead people be dead. And just, yeah, it's, it's really enough with the dead people. I don't know why it didn't bother me because, again, I say, I hate that shit. I don't know why. I mean, I guess it's better than, you know, Tony Sopranos' mother. Who asked you? Ha! You know, another thing, cut Leah out of the end of the...

That's kind of like Target, actually, when he's called for the death start of strike scaf. It's very similar. But the Leia scenes bugs me also. I agree. I think that just get more fucking Jimmy Smiths. Jimmy Smith is right there. And he has that scene where he's like, I'll get somebody that means a lot to me on it.

It's my daughter, Leia. And everyone's like, yeah, I know. That's all you need. That's all you need. That's all you need. Or you know what? You could just show a woman in the white dress. Yes.

And you know what? I'm not a moron. And I've seen, if I'm watching Rogue One, I've seen a new opathouse. but that dude that way you're damned there because that's fucking George Steinbrenner on Seinfeld you know what I mean

like it was just like some some woman with bun hair in a white dresser I've never wanted George Steinbrenner from Seinfeld to be an imperial officer before but now I wanted so much just him from the back oh and get Jason Alexander

as like some middle manager admiral coming in yeah you wanted to see me Lord Steinbrenner? Yes, come in, George. These Calzone's on Scariff. But I mean, like, Custan.

Cadet's Kastanz is in the building. George is getting upset. They're... Salzone from Pisanos. The action is great. Yes. The space battles, I thought, were awesome. Space battles are very cool.

Star Destroyers crash into each other. Holy fuck, that was cool. Fucking loved it. And I do not mind, I know this was a point of contention with some people on the internet as well, I do not mind using alternate takes of actors from Star Wars with the Death Star Run. I love Red Leader show. Right, isn't that great? That was cool.

That's where I'm like, that's actually cool. Like, you know what I mean? Yes. And I'm sure that guy's did. Because you know it's not their first rodeo with these people. And it's also 30 seconds. He's not a character. It's just like, oh, and of course Red Leader would be there.

It would be great if like the whole mission's going. shit and it's like oh my god what are we going to do and it's like oh my god we'll have to get the best fighter in the galaxy on this get me porkin dude i do get a fat guy dying in this movie is a tribute to porkins i really had my fucking pudgy little fingers cross that there was a william hootkin stand in man and then the porkins get over here oh it would have been great i will say way one it's not even a beef it's just a random thought with the um with the whole planetary shield plot line

I thought of space balls I thought of space balls you don't want to think about space balls in the Star Wars because that was all about the planetary shield

and speaking of vacuum Princess Ves but yeah I like that scene I mean I do like that whole thing I like the scene in the rain which was really neat I thought that that was really well done Mads Mickelson

I thought was good I like the idea of the scientists that are not going along with it It sounds very, you know, World War II-ish. Question, a great year for Mads Mikkelson and the Disney Corporation. Does he get a lifetime pass? For what?

For this and Dr. Strange. As a pass to what? To Disney World, man. Can he go anytime he wants? I think he can. Okay, that's pretty cool. But guess what he won't. He goes to rich people, Disney World.

They don't tell you about it. I go and I ride the teacups. When it's free, you can just go and ride one. ride and leave it's it's really refreshing that pirates of the caribbean ride is so annoying glad they got rid of it was anyone going to that zoo they had you know they put a dinosaur in there was such a waste of fun time actually animal kingdom you can really get a good steak it's the only place in all the parks get a really good steak i think kill it right in front of you yeah i wanted way more of him dude he's awesome i love mads mickleson it's an interesting character

too you know what I mean like and the movie could and should be about gin and her dad like that's kind of what we're doing they paired it down like if it was gin her dad Cassinandor and K2 the droid the droid was great oh yeah Alan Tudica is the droid man he's awesome

so fucking funny and you could keep the Donnie Ann and his and his boyfriend there those guys are great I mean they love each other right let's not let's not fuck around that's what I was saying before we went on the air man I think it was a Star Wars gay couple I thought it was awesome it was no I don't say that denigratingly. I honestly think that that's

the dude with the vacuum cleaner on his back is he's fucking heartbroken when that blind guy gets killed. It's not, I wouldn't, I wouldn't be that upset when you went, man. You know what I mean? Unless we were getting down to some fucking. No, I totally agree. Then I'll shed a tear. Oh, boy, you guys. Well, the thing is like, you know, if they're gay or not,

I do like their character. I do. Glad they were included. Maybe they were weeping over the fact that no, there'll be no other Asian representation in Star Wars after they both die. Yeah, they're like, you know what? We had it. We beat those fucking cartoon vice-roy's. We finally got over that fucking hurdle. Oh, we're both dead. No one in this room's upset about the diverse cast. You know what I mean? I'm upset that the diversity extends beyond the grave. But other than that, I think I'm pretty okay. I could have used blood. I know. There's a huge body count. There's no blood force

Awaken's had blood. Oh, that's right. Yeah, I don't understand that decision. I would like to keep it PG-13, I think. It was weird going back, though, because like you get Force Awakens and you're like, holy fuck, like, that Stormtrooper blood on the helmet, like, man, that's pretty cool. And then you're in this, which is like a legitimate war movie. Yes. You know, it's a, I mean, this is, it's the dirty dozen.

It's Magnificent seven is all that shit. And it's just like, oh, so it's not, I mean, I'm not expecting fucking saving private Ryan, but like, give me something. Yeah. I would like that. I do think, I really like the ending there with Cassian and Jin, even though I don't know them very well, them dying on the beach with the... I do,

we really... I'm very happy that everyone dies. I love that everybody dies. More so than any other Star Wars movie would really do put a fine point on the Death Star's nuclear proliferation, because we see like mushroom clouds, you know what I mean? Yeah. That's really kind of striking, kind of cool. Yeah, I love that you get to

see, like, the awesome power of the death star. That's really cool. And yeah, going back to the death thing, like, I think it's awesome that this entire cast is dead. Yes. Because it's one of the things we were talking about, Steve, me and you, before the movie came out, was like, we were talking about whether or not, like, how integrated into the newer part of the saga this would be. Yeah. And I was like, I don't think, because I don't think you're going to see any of these characters because they'd have to be like 40 years older and blah, blah, blah. And Steve was like, you know, who knows what they would do with episode nine or whatever. Yeah. So it's awesome

that it's definitively like all of these people are fucking and they're not just dead like but you didn't see them die like no fucking planets exploded man Forrest Whitaker that dude's dead Mads Mickelson that whole side of the mountain blew up I mean these people are fucking

toast what do we think of the robot K2 what's his face Alan Tiddick He's great yeah I like him too I'm a big fan I think he's getting already mentioned it that's why Eric and I were confused oh did we talk about this? Yeah briefly we can go back and do it no it's good he's great No, I like that that's like a good moment for a non-annoying droid comedy.

I'm looking at you, 3PO cameo. Oh, man. And R2 just standing there. Yeah, didn't need the cameo. I know a lot of people hate 3-PO. I don't. My wife hates 3-Po. I love how much she hates her.

It's great. The cameo I really don't need is fucking Mr. Pondababa and what's his friend there. Dr. Nivian. I can't remember. Pig nose and ball sack mouth from the. Oh, sure, yeah, yeah. They're like, hey, what, while I'm in a bad mood now, I better go to a bow-size-lis spaceport and get a drink.

Oh, wait, that's happening in a couple of minutes. See you later, movie. Goodbye, oh, and you can know you keep doing the movie. I just wanted to say hello real quick. I'm going to that movie that you already saw. Figure that out. Time's a flat circle. It is distracting.

And when I first saw it, it like hit me like, I was like, thunderstruck. I felt like that scene took five minutes. It really did. It does take a lot of time. Whoa, what? And then when I rewatched it, it's really quick. It is.

So thankfully it is that. But I do feel like if you're going to do a cameo for anyone in that sequence, do some, do something out. Do something lesser. Yes, exactly. Maybe we're a wolf guy is part of a rogue one. Like he's the one guy that gets out alive. Yeah. A werewolf guy would have been an asset on that.

Of course. You know, I'm like, usually I'm against including gleepclops and things like, but a werewolf guy, yes. You know one werewolf guy. I know we're saying we need to thin the cast of this movie, but if werewolves are involved, up it. Yeah, exactly. I'll have, you know, I can have up to maybe like six additional werewolves. And you totally okay with that. Yeah, like, Gin Eursa could just be like, and weirwolf guys, you have the beach.

And they're just like, it's like a dog in water. I love that. It's just eating fucking stormtroopers. The beach scenes were cool for sure. I mean, all of the, again, I really do think that all the actions are really great. It's great. What is weird, and I didn't, I don't know, I guess I didn't necessarily have a problem with it, but like the end bit is her readjusting a satellite.

It's like the end of Golden Eye. Yeah. Like she's realigning the satellite. There's a fight up there. I kind of, I, both me and my professional librarian, fiance, really like the fucking, the Tower of Records. man. That's pretty cool. That's a cool way to store information. Well, you know what?

That's also in the grand tradition of long places you can fall down in the Star Wars universe. You need some platforms in there, man. I do think that like the whole like doing the antenna and the master switch, I thought it was in line

with Star Wars if you think about Ben Kenobi sneaking around pulling down levers. Yeah. No, that's true. I do they call those levers. Oh yeah, sorry. he'll come back from the dead and sell me a vacuum and then tell me how to pronounce it you know what's interesting is when I realized

I didn't think of it until it happened the fact that this is a Star Wars movie where you get one lightsaber and it's in the last 10 minutes sure and you like I guess I just I hadn't even thought about it and then when he fucking when Vader whips out that lightsaber I was like oh yeah

lightsaber It was this really, like, cool moment of like, oh, yeah, no one else has had one. Good deal. I love that. It's very, I like that it's filmed like a horror scene a little bit. He's Jason Voorhees. Oh, he definitely is. It's kind of cool.

It's great. God damn. I mean, I understand people's problems with it, but it was great soon. He whips that dude up onto the ceiling, like super fast. And if you notice, I didn't notice this the first time by one of the second time. When he's walking down the hall away from the guy on the ceiling, He cuts him, like, in half on his way, on his walk out. Oh, does he?

It's a cool jiff of that going around the internet. Yeah, that's what you want. Oh, I'll have to check that out. Yeah, I've been on, like, social media blackout for Star Wars until I saw it. Yeah, I mean, like, it's a strong-ish entry. It's, I think it's number five for me. I'm not counting cartoon movies. I'm not counting EWox, but it's better than all those anyway.

Oh, sure. But it's like, you know, original trilogy, then you got Force Awakens and you got this. And then you got the prequel's. That's exactly my rating, too. Sure. Yeah, that's fine. That's where it falls in. And the thing is it's like, I mean, there's a lot of room.

And there's a lot of cushion in those prequels. You know what I mean? Like you could make a pretty bad movie to fit right after Revenge of the Sith. I mean, we watched Revenge of the Sith the night before we saw this just to like. Oh, no. To temper our expectations. No, because my wife had a great point. She was like, don't.

Because I was like, you know what I want to do tonight? I want to watch some fucking Star Wars. Yeah, sure. And so she's like making the great point. You can't watch original trilogy or Force Awakens, which are for, movies I really like. Sure. And then it's, you know, because this movie's not going to live up to that.

Sure. So we watched what is the best prequel and my expectations were tempered a little bit. And, you know, I feel like with these standalones, it's okay if they don't live up to the original trilogy, because that's not the intent. No. So, and I, you know, again, I know the movie has certain critics, namely Chris Cabin. Oh. Everyone, I think he prepared a statement. Oh, yeah, he couldn't be here this evening.

He's in hiding, actually, unfortunately. But he's got something here. So, yeah, Chris Cabman could not be here, but this is his thought. We had to reach into the mailbag for this. Rogue One's statement by Chris Cabin. Dear listeners, one of my fat proxies will deliver these brief statements about Rogue One, no doubt with the class and grace of a cartoon hippo ballerina. I don't have much to say.

I think Rogue One is the very definition of mediocre. Promising ideas, some genuine risks taken. a few excellent sequences and exchanges and a lot of great design work from top to bottom. For the most part, however, the script is hot garbage. I didn't feel like I got to know any of the characters that well and then to turn them into martyrs for the effort of showing a realistic depiction of war and sacrifice.

It smacks me as cheap and manipulative. My belief is that Gareth Edwards made a unique, stark Star Wars movie that was indeed a standalone movie and that Disney simply would not have a Star Wars movie that doesn't constantly remind you that it's a Star Wars movie. and thus called Tony Gilroy in to reshoot about half of the movie. Tark and Leia, the unused fighter footage

and all the other cameos, all of it is useless and genuinely crippling to the pace. Even Vader, other than seeing him in action, he does not serve a purpose in the story to me. On the whole, the movie is far more overtly nostalgic than Force Awakens ever was, and I don't think you can really call it a standalone movie unless standalone simply means

that there won't be an obvious sequel, and that's it. If so, sure, it's a standalone movie and a not particularly good one either. I plan on seeing it again, but at this point this hovers in the same space as Revenge of the Sith. Take that as you will.

Chris Cabin. Did he say that was brief? But wow, yeah. So Chris Cabin is rating it, I guess, equal to Revenge of the Sith, which I think is just bonkers. I do think he's right on the design work for sure. That is something. The design work is great. Here's my problem. I mean, design work, yes.

somebody turn on a fucking light in this movie yeah i mean this is just dark for the sake of being like dark and gritty and like i'm sorry get a get one of the famous star wars lamps lit i mean there's so much of this movie that you just can't see well we're right at the end of the empire man the lamp situation is dying that's right that's what the fight's all about but i try to keep the lights on i think when we get the han solo movie we'll have a bunch of sexy casino lighting and things like that oh that's true you know I don't know it it doesn't make me super excited for the Han Solo movie I agree with you there I'm not I'm not as excited about the stand-alones as I was

before this I you know but but I still had fun at the movies I did too and you know we'll see what the future holds I think um I'm still excited for that uh Han Solo movie because the kid uh Arden Erlen Reich or whatever the Christ that dude's name is. He's in the most recent Cohn Brothers movie for a hot second and he stars in that fucking wretched

Warren Beatty movie. That movie looks boring and sand. Did you see it? Oh yeah dude I saw it. Oh man is a band? It's fucking terrible. That movie's embarrassing. It's embarrassing for everyone involved. Wow. It's fucking horrible. Oh, we should do an on screen on that one. No.

But he's still... How is Peter Cushingon then? I do like the people who are getting more work You're making a joke But seriously There was a CGI Human in that movie

Warren Beatty Oh yeah You got 20 years Yeah He's been dead for years Right No one's ever seen him Leo

Did a much better Howard Hughes Than what you're fucking Oh the aviator's a great movie That's a great hangover That's one of my A number one hangover movies That's like when you

You may have died a little bit The night before Like you died for a second And came back That kind of a hangover that's when you put on the aviator on TV, you better believe it. It's a good New Year's Day movie, man.

Like, oh, man, what a fucking disease. I had champagne and whiskey. Let's just, let's watch this whole fucking trial. So if you have a hangover, watch the aviator. If you liked Rogue One, I do have a couple of EU recommendations. Oh, go right ahead. Well, I mean, actually, I was going to say. These are camics or these are novels?

I'm going to do a couple different mediums. Go right ahead. Watercolors as well. Marvel's, Darth Vader. The Vader line is very good. If you like the Vader kicking ass. Lost Stars by Claudia Gray, even though it's labeled as a Y-A novel.

It's about rebels and imperials only, basically. Oh, nice. It's a nice change of pace. And then, of course, I have to say the Theron trilogy by contractual obligation to the devil and the Lord in Heaven. The devil and the Lord and Heaven. I mean, you got, you know, the Thron Trilogy, man. They're big EU fans.

They are, they are constantly at war between the devil likes the prequels. What's Timothy Zahn situation? Can he, can he like cameo in one of these movies? Can they give him some money at all? They are giving him, they are giving him money. That's good. There's a new, because all Timothy Zon's books, like the Thron Trilogy. I was about to say, who are you talking about?

Pardon me, but who are you talking about? The Grand Admiral Thrawn was his creation. He's the big blue guy? Yeah, as the Grand Admiral. Funny enough, that book, Herde to the Empire, is where Corscant was invented. And then it was retroed in for the special edition. So they owe him a lot. And Star Wars Monopoly.

Yes, and Star Wars Monopoly. And Star Wars the McDonald's Game. Welcome back to Star Wars, the McDonald's Game. game. I am the ghost of Alec Guinness. Yeah, he's in the founder. Grimmis has stolen all my space bucks. Please go to the end of this maze to find them. This is

not the hamburgler you're looking for. Anyway. Oh, you'll be supersizing your ambitions. They brought back Grand Admiral Thrawn for Star Wars Rebels, which is surprisingly a pretty good show. Oh, the cartoon. You know what? They make

that so hard for you to fucking find. to goddamn Disney dude. Yeah, I know. It is a terror to find. And then they are doing a new, Timothy Zahn is doing a new, quote unquote, canon novel on Thrawn. Oh, cool. That's supposed to be out in March.

So I'm excited for that. Cool. And that's it. That's it. That's our Rogue One Wrapup, gang. You asked for it. We gave it to you. Until the next time, this has been W.H.M. On the screen. I'm Andrew Jupin. Stephen Seda. Eric Siska. Alec Guinness.

Take it easy.