We Hate Movies - S8 Ep316: Episode 316 - It (1990)

Episode Date: September 12, 2017

On the SEASON EIGHT premiere of WHM, the guys return just in time to have some fun with the cult classic TV gem, It! Why did they make this movie for ABC and not for the theaters? Did the It monster kill off the dinosaurs? And what is with that ponytail?! PLUS: Harry Anderson and Richard Dean Anderson get mixed up... a lot. It stars Tim Curry, Harry Anderson, Dennis Christopher, Richard Masur, Annette O'Toole, Tim Reid, John Ritter, Jonathan Brandis, Seth Green, and Richard Thomas;; directed by Tommy Lee Wallace. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

And on today's program, the eighth season of We Hate Movies kicks into high gear with a really trashy TV movie. It's it! And for the eighth season in a row, I'm Andrew Jupin. Stephen Siddak. Chris Cabin. Eric Siska. And we hate movies. Hello,

tuning in. I thought we were going to change the name to we ate movies. No, no, that's maybe season nines. We ate movies. But I don't think we're going to stop you from meeting those VHS every night. No, you do what you want. You live your life like you want. I just cut out the middleman like video drum and shove it right into my chest vagina.

There you go. Today's episode, like I mentioned up top, is one from my childhood that I've seen a lot of times, and it sucks. It's It from 1990, directed by Tommy Lee Wallace, of such great movies as Halloween

3 and the original Fright Night. That means a sizable portion of your life has been taken up by re-watching this. This movie is three hours and seven minutes. Yeah, I've seen this movie like maybe like five or six times pre-watching it for this show

and also like I watched it last night in preparation for today. I also re-watched it like two months ago on a whim and then somebody was like hey let's do it and I was like oh fuck me. That's almost an entire day of your life that's been wasted watching this movie several times. You know what, Chris Cabin? I've wasted it in worse ways than this.

It's a lot of Harry Anderson, man. He's one of the words parts of this movie. I don't know that he's the worst part, but he is a he is a obnoxious fixture in this film. And it's not Night Court. No, I love Night Court. It's Dave's World, Harry Anderson. It's the worst. It's the worst. Has anyone, was anybody watching this for the first time for this show? I think it was, I think me. I think I only saw clips. Oh, really?

Yeah. I've only seen like portions of it. Like, I never really sat around for it because it was boring. Shit. I saw it a couple years ago, somebody had a sick VHS copy and I was like, oh, that's three hours. What was wrong with it? Did you take it to the doctor? Oh, man, that's a joke that Harry Anderson's character in this movie would tell.

Oh, the world's most famous comedian, this guy sucks. But, you know, while we're saying it sucks and everything about it sucks, but there's a lot of people that like this movie. Sure. Get that out of the way. So let's us fucking relax. How about that? It's okay to like it?

Yeah, there's going to be a lot of confusing statements with it in it. I will say there is a truly excellent part of this movie and it is the legendary Tim Curry. Yes. As Penny Wise the Clown, you know, Pennywise the Clown ain't nothing to fuck with in this movie. I mean, this thing would be relegated to hell, if not. for Tim. The only reason anyone could anyone remember this or care about this

is Tim Curry's great performance inside of a shit burrito. Also, John Ritter's beard. Oh, my God. It looks awesome. John Ritter with that beard, by the way,

kind of looks like the dude who played Al Borland, Richard Karn. Yes. You know what it looks like this beard, which is IMDV Tribunal to this.

The woman that plays his girlfriend in the first scene where you meet him thought he was Bow Bridges. So she's like, make it out with this, dude. She's like, yeah, I made out with Bow Bridges today. Wait a second. Post filming their scenes, she was like, I made out with Bo Bridges.

I mean, that's my interpretation of it, just that she thought he, she thought he was Bo Bridges. You know, either way, that's great. Yeah, exactly. I didn't think anything of it because he was just like, oh, yeah, like, she kept calling me Bo, I guess I'm her beau or whatever. She said, she let me in the Wizard and I was like, that's not, that's a weird winner to refer to Three's company. I'll tell you what I really want is I want that framed Time Magazine cover he's got. Oh, because he's a famous architect.

A famous architect. You know what? That's a more believable Time Magazine cover than our fucking stupid president's fake one, that fat fuck. It's just John Ritter's face and it says, the new architects. When is Time Magazine cared about architects? When is anyone outside of architecture died just cared? The world was on fire for architects.

Oh, really? Right? Like Seinfelds. They were the art vandalese shit. But that suggests... So that's one. But the new architects suggests that there was like multiple covers. Like Time did like a multiverse thing where Batman was on one, Superman.

John Ritter was on one. George Costanza was on another one. Didn't like every part Richard Dreyfus ever play? Wasn't he an architect? It's kind of a fake movie job, to be quite honest. It's like a glamorous, fake. movie job that you know you make a godly amount of money

yes Mike Brady was an architect really and all you gotta do is carry around blueprints and your office has like neat models in it and then the boss is like hmm I don't know about that door and you're like oh I'll fix that door for you boss just erase that door now the door's not there all it says to me

is financially stable or you know expendable income as well well it's a boring job and it's a thing where not a lot of people know like the ins and out so you can just kind of gloss over it. Like, yeah, I'm an architect.

Here's blueprints. Christopher Lloyd is an architect in a, blah, blah, blah, blah. Suburban commando. No, he's clearly a scientist. Dude, there's lists online of movie architects. I just Googled this.

Oh, my God. Keanu Reeves in the lake. Lakehouse. Oh, yeah, sorry. Woody Harrel said an indecent proposal. Michael Keaton in White Noise, which previous episode. Oh, right.

Um, and more. That is? Jude Lord breaking and entering. Adam Sandler and Click. Liam Neeson and Love Actually. Wesley Snipes and Jungle Fever. Luke Wilson and my super ex-girlfriend, Ashton Coucher. With student architect and butterfly effect.

Hold on. The entire cast of white men can't jump played architects in various films. Is that what you're telling me? I think that's correct. Rosie Perez is an architect too. Oh, that stupid door shouldn't go there. Charles Bronson and Death Wish. Well, he's one of the most famous of cinema's architects.

Tom Hanks and Sleep is in Seattle. I'll stop. Yeah, we get it. Tom Selleck and three men and a baby. You said you'd stop! He's not stopping. I'm watching him do it. You know what he's doing right now?

He's looking for one last great one. One less sweet, juicy nug. Matthew Broderick and the cable guy. All right. Yeah, there you go. So it's a Stephen King property. you this is like a hot book from 1980 something or other 86 I want to say maybe we're in Maine we're in Derry again we were returning back to Bangor and Gary oh hello that Dary was like one of

his big like universe towns like that's honestly that's the reason why I've seen this movie a bunch is because in the 90s I was obsessed with watching Stephen King adaptations not so much reading the books I honestly have not read many Stephen King books but like Like, if there was a, it was like, because you knew, like, as a young lad, you were like, oh, that's horror. And I was like a budding horridor. And I was like, oh, sweet, there's another one. Oh, they keep making Stephen King movies. And they all, like, so many take place in Derry and I'm watching it as a kid going, where's the milk?

Good Lord. Season eight, baby. It's happening. Season eight pun town. I'm going to need to, like, get a rim shot up on my phone just to play every once in a while for you. That's good ones. so well it's interesting because like where to begin with a movie that's three hours and seven minutes long it's a clown that kills people that's also a giant spider it's kind i believe it's and a werewolf too and a warwolf it's a shape shifting thing that's been on earth for millions of years none of this you learn in the movie by no this is all book knowledge what we call book knowledge landed in a comet in the book or an what yeah he's a space he's wait he's wait are you You're saying he's a killer clown from outer space?

Yes, he is. Yeah, technically speaking. He's a killer clown from outer space spider. He's also a space spider. That's true. Ziggy's Stardust and the Spiders from Mars. This guy played backup on space oddity. Nice.

So, yeah, I mean, like we start basically-ish. I mean, like, we're basically going between a group of kids that wind up growing up, and, like, we are introduced to each one of them with their interoperative. reaction of Pennywise, who is Tim Curry the clown. The most important one is Jonathan Brandis slash this other guy with a terrible ponytail. Yeah, this

other dude whose name I can't remember, but he was John Boy on the Walton's. Okay. And he now is no spoilers cabin, because I know I think you're current with it, but we're only in season two. He's excellent on the Americans. He's like Noah Emrich's

FBI boss. He's fucking awesome on that. He is ice cold this guy on that show. And you know what? No ponytail on the Americans. This ponytail, this guy's guy. Why have it? I don't even you don't even see it for most of the movie. What are you

talking about? It's all I could look at through three hours and seven minutes. When those shots come up, but most of the shots are straight on. And every time it's straight on, I'm like, I know that ponytail's behind there. I need a thin, tight ponytail. If we're going for it, I need like a real stylized, you know, like... But like a braided ponytail, though? Not a

about brayed yeah probably braided oh really that'd be interesting you know i gotta say when i was watching this movie i thought the same i was like oh this ugly ponytail this is a crime and then more i watched it by the end of three hours i was like i kind of like ponytails now maybe i'll get one well that's because he's the hero he's the hero yes he is the hero i think the stuttering hero he's a famous novelist gone screenwriter is like guess the idea. Oh my God. You know, it's a Stephen King thing where it's like, wait, what? And his protagonist is a writer with a sexy lady that's always telling him not to do things. Yeah, so that's not enough cocaine in this movie, though. Not by a country mile, man. Where is the cocaine in the book?

No, I think that was like Mr. Stephen King was a big cocaine guy for a while. But, but, but ample alcohol. yeah sure ample ample we are filling like milk glasses with straight whiskey in this movie and it's not just any one character they're all doing it this guy ridder harry anderson they're all they've been terrorized by a clown man like cut them a break so it so like steve said it goes between 1960 and 1990 uh and so the 1960 shit which is the stuff that i think works in this movie the kids it's jonathan brandis Seth green and then like a bunch of other kids that aren't anybody.

The girl is Emily Perkins who's from Ginger Snaps. Oh, right, the Ginger Snaps franchise. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That makes sense. Then the Fat Kid was the buddy on the Wonder Years for a few episodes.

And then he got cut. I don't remember. Sorry, Fat Kid. We got killed in Nam. I don't know. No, that was Winnie's brother and that's a fucking heartbreaking episode. We're going to send all these fat kids to NAM.

Come to Butterball Brigade. just dropped them out of a plane no but I don't know if that kid was on Wonder Years from the jump but he was he was I remember him for being on episodes of Wonder Years and then a bunch of other squeaky boys kids One kid's from the sandlot I believe The kid who plays Eddie is I believe in the sandlot?

I think so Oh is he the kid that kisses the lifeguard No he's just another one of the kids Kevin's like I don't think so No he plays the sand He was the dog Oh no is James Earl Jones I have wouldn't that be awesome

if just big James Earl Jones is like running around with these kids and so like hello Eddie Big Eddie they're all like outcasts in one way or another it's very like stand by me I mean it's Stephen King we're all just

we're all just fucking around at a rock quarry aren't we we're just having a good old time that's what you did back then man that was the fashion at the time you just hung out in rock quarries you built dams that probably fucked up your town's water somebody get these kids a ball and I mean like we start with

it's it's Bill he's sick in his bed he's played by Jonathan Brandis his little brother Georgie comes in he's like you know Bill Bill Bill build me a fucking boat because literally I don't know we live in the Great Depression I don't have a ball I don't have a comic book well that's the thing that I was confused about it's 1960 this kid

wants to play with a newspaper boat I mean like what I don't know come on get an action for you get a GI Joe Get some jacks Oh hey Georgie where's my fucking Hula hoop with a stick and I'm going to roll it down the sidewalk. Hilariously this is set in the same year that

Hula hoops were invented. So he could have. How do you know that? I looked it up. Because this is a shared cinematic universe with the Hudsucker proxy. Tim Roberts comes in and he just starts selling. He just sells everybody. So that's a good place to start. So Georgia goes out and he's playing with this little boat

and it's raining heavily and it goes into the drain and he gets murdered by Pennywise. Well it's Pennywise is like he just it's Tim Curry and he's creepy as fuck because he's just like all you know he's a clown and he's just like you know the kid goes you know he's like hitting on this kid kind of you know you're about to eat a kid he hits on him a bit is this the famous sewer scene yes he's peeking out of the he's trying to get that upskirt of this kid well what i love is like did it hurt

when you fell from heaven this kid's dressed like the fucking gordon's fisherman by the way well it's raining in maine man you better buckle up but he's he's like talking this kid up he's like yo man I got some the good stereos

are in the back of the fucking sewer you know what we have down in this sewer don't you balls we got balls we got comic books

two of them we got these things called video games you don't even you haven't even heard of them yet we got a fucking book kid look into it pictures of animals

So the boat falls down there and he has the boat right and that's how he's really luring. He's luring him and the kid's like you know my dad said never to talk to strangers but I mean I think the dad just like top line did he's like never talk to strangers. Unless they introduce themselves. Yes and you know don't talk to clowns in the sewer period. That's the thing

even if the person introduces themselves to you if they are in a sewer dressed as a clown especially dressed as a clown Because he's like, well, all right, how about this? My name is Pennywise the clown, and your name is Georgie. Now we know each other. Let's get naked. Well, he just rips his arm up.

He rips his arm up and the kid bleeds to death in the street. But you don't see it because it's ABC. What a stupid, what a stupid fucking thing. Made for TV movies with Stephen King content. I'm looking at you, the Langalears. What a waste. It's all silly. It's all boring.

And I mean, like, why make this a drama when it's a horror thing? Like, everything should be horror. Like, yeah. Well, they skip, like, in that first scene where, like, they find the new, it's the present day timeline, and they find the kid in the thing. And they're like, yeah, we got her. What's left of her? I'm like, holy fuck. And you wonder.

And you have to wonder, like, that's different from, like, a bunch of kids went missing. Yes. A bunch of kids were found, like, they were the Kittner boy, like, got fucking chewed up by job. That's the thing, though, right? It's like, you're right, going missing is different than what, if you read on Wikipedia or if you've read the book, like, what this beast is doing to these children, completely different story. Just give me like a body under a tarp or something or like a rookie puking his guts out of the corner. We need somebody throwing up, holding the side of the ambulance. Just show me a pinky, like a pale pinky.

Oh, fuck, that kid's dead. Exactly. Any kind of stakes. What, uh, do we know what network this aired on? ABC. Oh, that's even fucking worse. Fucking Disney owned shit. Well, I mean, I don't think it was Disney the time.

That's the pale pinky has a line up. No? I don't think so. Oh, all right. What'd you say, Eric? Nah, nothing. I was just talking about the pale pinky. And how weird is.

Sounds like a, sounds like a sex move. Gave her the pale pinky last night. Yeah. Tonight I'm going to give him the pale pinky. Everyone gets his pale pinky. It's so. So he's very distraught by his brother's death and blah, blah, blah. And like, this is the most, like, important thing that happens in the teenage years.

We meet everybody. Bill is Stephen King stand in. John Ritter is the world's most famous architect. Right. Harry Anders. His name is Frank Lloyd Wright, Jr. And that little fat kid grew up to be Frank Lloyd Wright, Jr. Well, his dad died in Korea.

And, like, at one point, like, Penny Wise turns into his dad. And he's like, hey, Georgie, I'm in hell. It's kind of funny. He's like, oh, hey, this is where I live now. This water filtration plant. And it's like some beefcake and like an airman's uniform. But then there's like little clown dots on his clothes. And then it's like this dude's like holding a balloon.

Like there is some creepy imagery in this movie. But they just don't take it far enough. Well, here's my question. question so he gets georgie and like georgie is like oh he's like you want to balloon georgie and then like uh georgie is like oh will it float down there he's like oh you'll float it'll float down here george but then he goes fucking float but he gets it in his brain for the next 30 years all he's talking about is floating and i don't like it's like getting an own argument with somebody and like oh can you take the garbage all right and then like you're doing that for the rest of your life

yeah it's weird it's kind of like uh anytime someone asks you a question and then you just constantly say you're fake news, your fake news, your fake news, endlessly, endlessly, like as if you had some degenerative brain disease. Yeah, I am a sewer clown, so what. I definitely think we need to get Pennywise in a hospice.

And then we also have Beverly, Bev, who grows up to be Annette O'Toole, who's a famous fashion design. which is her brand is Beverly by hand by the way No I didn't notice that They're like answering the phone's like

Beverly by hand I love this Beverly by hand Isn't she more well known for being abused By her demonic freaking boyfriend I don't get what this is doing What is this is the most insane scene that they Allow in this movie Bev is about to close a deal

With some company and like She closed it with her boyfriend who's her partner and her business partner as well and then like they're sleeping and everyone keeps getting calls from Mike Mike Hanlon who is the dad on sister sister and other stuff he was a dad on sister sister sister

he was a Venus flytrap on WKRP in Cincinnati great fucking sitcom that's more like it and he Chris you want to take it he goes to the the fridge to get another bottle of champagne

he's going doubles he comes back You want Sonny Dee, purple stuff, or champagne. They just sealed some deal with these Japanese businessmen is the idea. Sure. And he like, you saw the seedlings of this in the scene where he's like, you know, do your hair this way and don't you touch it. Right. He doesn't allow her to take a phone call.

So she's packing up her bags trying to get home because there's a monster children in her hometown. Sure. And he's like, no, you're not. And like they start getting into it. And he just gives her an open, fucking. he just hits her. It's five across the eyes man. It's just like, come on, what are we doing in this movie? And we've

already sooner get abused as a kid or maybe we will soon enough. It's within 15 minutes of this. On the two scenes that we see of this woman, she's getting abused by somebody. It's like, oh, I guess that's the thing. She says something about like, you know, oh, I found someone who's exactly like my father, who that dude

is like a 50 year old Harry Dean Anderson looking guy. Pretty great. But yeah, so, yeah, so this dude Mike is Mike Hansen he's the guy he's the town librarian he's the one in the group who stayed behind and I guess so the whole thing is they made a pact like hey man we defeated this demonic clown once if he ever rears his ugly head again I'm going to call all you motherfuckers and you got a promise to come back here we're going to fight this dude again is the idea so he's a lot of this

movie is this dude just making phone calls a lot of this movie should be him like going through random white pages well let me call every one of them in New York City and see maybe they moved there, or maybe they moved here. I don't know how he finds everyone. Yeah, he does have current numbers for everybody, which is convenient. But he gets, like, people, like, differently. Yeah, he's got current numbers. He gets Harry Anderson at, like, the Jay Leno or at the Carson show or something.

Yeah. Backstage, he gets a phone call. So I guess he was watching, like, Carson and just saw him on there. He was like, I better call the Carson show. Well, he's a librarian, man. He's a resourceful guy. He knows how to look up phone numbers. All that microfeas.

she got all those phone numbers. Oh shit, that's true. But he's a loser, apparently. Everyone else moves off and becomes incredibly famous and even says, like, he's like, well, you all became unusually successful. Unusually successful is a great term.

It's a weird, like, yeah, they talk about this at the end of the movie, but it's some weird, they're making it sound in the movie like it's some supernatural thing. Like, because these kids got out of the town and they're part of this close-knit,

group of friends or whatever, they're all like unnaturally successful at what they've done. So all he needs to do is go up the road and then like open up like, I don't know, like any, open up a car dealership and he's the best car salesman in the world. Like is that the idea? I guess so. But he's the best librarian in the world now. I guess that's how he finds the numbers. No, but he's not though because he never left dairy. He's still fucking damned because he lives in these town lines, too. So he can't even shelve books, right? No, he's fucking up constantly. Spilling coffee on the periodicals. Dewey Dezma, what? It's really bad. It's embarrassing. He's been on probation like six different times at work.

And they're like, they don't fire him, but they're like, all right, I guess, Mike, you're back on probation again. We're going to try assistant librarian for a little while just to see how it is. Oh, man, librarian demotion. That stinks. Yeah, I'd like to check this book out. And just take it, man. Just take it.

Mike, what did we say about the book? There's a system. Scan that card. Yeah, so Seth Green is Harry Anderson, a young version. Yes. Yeah, so Harry Anderson, budding comedian, whatever. A budding terrible. It's sub-Dunham.

It's awful. I'd rather watch Jeff Dunham be racist with puppets. It's like a cat skills comedian thing. It's some of the hackiest shit. Which is great. And then... Is it? Yeah.

So they get the phone. It's still a joke, he's taking it. His manager is like, like, what, you were supposed to guest host the Tonight Show and you're going away. He's like, yeah, let Leno do it. And this is 1990. So it, or Pennywise, is responsible for the reign of Leno on the Tonight Show. Oh, that fucking evil clown. I knew he was a menace man.

And I think these kids were all a ruse just to install Leno into that chair for like, for like, what? How many years was he on that show? I forget. 25. Something that sounds right. Like 93-ish to 2010. Yeah, yeah. Because he came back from the dead, one last scare.

If his real end was to make as much misery as possible in the world. Misery, Stephen King book. Yeah, yeah. Is definitely bigger than killing like what, what, 500 kids? Yeah, oh yeah. I would definitely trade. Over centuries, though. But in one town.

Yeah. Wait, so was he killing like Native American kids? or what? I think that's the idea because they's, well, in the book, at least it's like he says he's been

an entity on this planet for millions of years. And then the dude Mike we see in this TV movie is tracing back like the history of the town and he discovers that like every...

Wait a second. Did he kill the dinosaurs? At least in Derry, Maine. He killed all Derry Main's dinosaurs. The young dinosaurs in Derry Main. Oh no, look out, Mother Velociraptor.

Kill a clown. It's going to take us out. I want to rewind this to four minutes ago, but like, All right, Jay. I tried twice. You had the tonight show. You lost it twice. You got a last chance.

I'm going to kill five more kids and you'll get Jay's garage. That's it. I'm out, man. I got other things to do. I'm an enormous spider. Pro tip. Denim. Yeah, okay.

I can't do loud. That was actually pretty accurate. Oh, good. Yeah. Look, if the kids got to die, they've got to die. Look, let's be straight and make one thing perfectly clear. The only reason I'm coming back right now is I really fucking hate Conan O'Brien. I want to fuck that ginger up good.

Don't think this is a favor to you, Leno. Thank you, my lord. My dark lord. My dark lord, it. Yeah, we've got a great show today. We got a, you know, we got a Hugh Grant and a little special thanks to the murderous clown in Derry, Maine. Thank you very much. O.J., you're so off the cuff.

I got a question for you. Who is the first of the United States? Who is the clown that's killing everybody in Derry, Maine? And then so there's like a little nerd, Eddie, who grows up to be a dude who looks like Matthew Modine but is not. Yes. And like the whole game is, is Eddie Gay? Question mark. I think it's just a mama's boy. Oh, I guess so. You play? I wasn't playing that game. But it's a weird thing. Because they keep saying like, he's a virgin or something.

Well, no, there's a comment when, spoiler alert, when the next one, the coward Stan, with his headless entity is talking to them and talking about like what they're, what they're repressing with their fears. He says, or who you sleep with? Eddie's like, Eddie, what's your sex life like, do you have a sex life question mark? Like that kind of a thing. Oh, it's weird. Yeah, I like this dude who looks like Matthew Modin

though. I don't know what else I may or may not have seen him in. He's a better part of this movie, for sure. I think he might be the guy who, this is freaking really out there. In Superbad, the guy who gets to a fight with Kevin Corrigan in the second big party. I've got

no fucking... I just saw Superbad again, so I just have tell you this, I've seen Superbad a total of one time in my life. Wow. Yeah, I thought it was pretty good. It's 10 years old now, right? Yeah, I think it's still really good. That's bone-chilling news.

Yes. Yeah, we're going to have Jonah Hill later because six kids were killed in Derry this week. I got another week of my contract. Thank you, Dark Lloyd. Thank you very much. I just bought another car. It's so great. Thank you so much. When will it

be enough, Jay? When will it be enough cars? Even I, Pennywise, the cloud. I'm getting tired of killing kids for you. Is it like, is he like liquefying them for gas or something? I got a stew to baker for you, but the thing is it only runs on kids. And so this nerd, Eddie, has grown up to have like a successful fleet of limousines as his business. Sure.

There's a great line here. So he gets the call. Like, you got to come back. The clowns fucking up the town. again and he's running out of his mansion and he's like living with his mother and this woman's like crazy overprotective like screaming after him and shit he gets in a car and tells this driver to go and then he's like getting business affairs in order for his time away and he's like I want you to personally take the Pacino job oh really I miss that yeah dude he instructs him that he he wants

this driver to personally take care of Al Pacino who ha where's Eddie supposed to be picked up by Eddie. And you know, it doesn't lead us into stand, but honestly, if Al Pacino's coming into town, sorry, guys, I got to miss this weekend. Yeah. I know I said that I'd come back at a drop of a hat, but it's the Al Pacino weekend. Totally. Eddie, it's back. It's murder. It's eating children. Yeah, but it's Al Pacino. I'm going to drive Al Pacino around. Man, a 1990 Al Pacino. What are we talking about, though? Because this is even like pre-Godfather 3. It was such a woman 90 of love. Oh, yeah, yeah. That's the love, Pacino. Oh, yeah. And Justice for All, I think, was earlier.

Okay. Yeah, that was weird. Good movie, though. Good movie, yeah. He should have just, like, brought Pacino with to Gary. Add something fun to this movie. Clown! Look at that clown!

Oh, boy, Eddie, look at that clown. You like that clown, because he's got a great ass! And your face is all up in it. from the film Heat I'll be reading from Heat today I have a little script with me

that's a great way that you defeat Pennywise is you just read screenplays at him gonna run some signs with you Penny oh no

I'm shrinking William Monah hit script to the departed I'm screaming and then so yeah then what's the

What's the cowardly guy's name? His name is Stan, and he's having, like, a quiet evening in. He seems to be the least successful, but he's successful enough. He's got a wife. She's, like, knitting, watching Perfect Strangers. Kind of one of the highlights of this movie, actual footage of Perfect Strangers. The scariest part.

And it's the episode where they got the skis on and they're fucking around with each other in the living room. I got to tell you, man, Hulu's putting Perfect Strangers on in a couple of weeks. You don't see me for a while. Yep. They're doing that entire TGIF lineup. You hear that folks. we're going back on break

perfect strangers Erkel step by step it's all there dude you can see Erkel be a sexual predator man you won't see me for like an hour I'm wearing her down

don't worry everyone I'll still be here so he he gets a call and like it's like oh you know it's Mike Hanlon and like the idea is every time you and anytime you leave Darry you forget the good news is

you forget all about Darry you forget about the clown shit you forget about all the dead kids, blah, blah, blah. Right. And you become incredibly successful. The drawback is every so often, Mike Hanlon calls you and's like, hey, man, you got to come back to town. You get that fucking Hanlon update, dude.

It's also not made completely clear that that's how that works. Yeah. It's kind of like if they had just called him and said, like, it's back. Yeah. Even if they hadn't, if they remembered it all, they would act the same way, essentially. Well, the thing is afraid. Yeah. I don't know if we're supposed to understand this and perhaps the.

book tells you this, it definitely does probably, but like... The 1,000 pages of this scary clown book, yeah, I didn't have time for it. Yeah, but like is it a thing where we are forgetting it due to traumatic experience? Yes. Or is it magic. It's magic.

In the book, it's magic. Yeah. Well, yeah, clearly in the book, it's a space wizard now? No, it's just the magic of Maine. Oh. Which I'm going to do their PR and their touristy board is a... They've been They've been pitching me for a while, and I think I'm going to do it.

There you go. But so he gets his call, and he's like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, Mike. And then, like, Mike is kind of a dick. He's like, you promised Stan. Come on, man. You promised me here, bud. Dude, if you know. I'm in a real jam with this scary clown pal.

If you know the weight of this situation as only Mike Hanlon can, you are going to guilt these fuckers to come back to town. You know what's at stake. And this is what Richard Mazer? This is Richard Mazer, the dad from Encino Man. and license to drive he's incredible love this guy Jason Schwartzman's father on board to death oh fuck yeah oh I totally he's in the thing

I don't know if he's headless in the thing I don't know if that's like this guy's Richard Mazer's thing He just gets shot in the head Oh that's right Yeah just head damage Yeah that's my thing you can fuck up my skull So he uh he's like about to like bang his wife

Right dude I was preparing for some fuck watching Wait how do you prepare fair for that. You just flops on. You sit up on your couch or your chair or whatever you have. You get good posture and you look right at that TV and you don't let anything break your gaze. And you definitely

don't smile. It's a very serious. What happens if you crack a smile? Because I don't know. The DVD starts. No one's ever done it before. Eric, you'll never make it in late night if you smile. Well, it's so weird because she's like listen, I just got a call from

my mother. And of course she wants to know when we're going to make her a grandmother. I'm like, dude, maybe that ship might have sailed. But then, yeah, also, yeah. I'm 57. These actors, first of all, yeah. Looking to adoption. But then, so he's like, that's funny.

It's kind of one of the creepiest lines in this movie in a real creep fest movie. He's like, oh, well, me and your mother were thinking the exact same thing. In fact, we talked about how to do it. And she's like, oh, you mean right now? So they're ready to fuck right in front of Malki Bartakamu's and cousin Larry. And it's just like, of course, that's what fucking Mike Handlin's got a call.

Dude, man, let the machine get it. Exactly. Totally. Yeah. And he gets it. And he goes, oh, yeah, Mike, I remember the promise. Oh, God, do you sure it's back? And he goes upstairs.

He's going to take a bath. And he kills himself. And he writes it on the wall. Yeah. Dude, just be like, oh, shit, man. I have any excuse in the book. Totally. You know what, Mike Hanlon?

Come fucking find me. What do you leave Maine? You lousy fuck. Yeah. He lives in Atlanta, Georgia. Like, come on down, motherfucker. Drag me across the Mason Dixon

to fight your clown monster. But just, have you never made up an excuse? Like, come on, man. Oh, my mother-in-town. My dog's got diarrhea. There's a lot of shit going on here this weekend, Mike. I would leave with dog diarrhea. This dude I have not spoken to

In 30 years asked me to come home For some weird supernatural event Better commit suicide Or you know what? You just go hey buddy You got the wrong number Exactly Are you sure? You made a problem Yeah yeah wrong number

Yeah no nobody in this house makes promises Except to fuck while Perfect Strangers is on Hey uh hon if anyone calls That sounds like they may have been on WKRP in Cincinnati Just I am not home Johnny Fever, Lonnie Anderson, all of them. I am not home this weekend. How about we moved?

Blanket, blanket, we moved statement for those people. Exactly, and there's no internet, man. Just like move. Move to the next house over. Straight to slitting your wrists in a bathtub, dude, overreaction of the century. Over a kid promise. And then writing it on the wall? You know, why even connect yourself to that?

Yeah, totally. Why give it the pleasure, right? Sad or something. Or like a frowny face So that people know why you did it He etched a frowny face in blood On his bathroom tile It's easy enough to do a balloon

Just like something more than IT don't write anything Or just don't kill yourself I mean like I am the first one to kill myself In a horror movie But not in a horror movie Where there's a geo specific demon That I am that cannot leave this town

That I am fucking miles and miles away from Pennywise does not cross the town line, man. Just hang up the phone. He ain't going to Atlanta? No. Oh, honey, who was that? Nobody, Zip. Exactly.

And what are you ultimately, like, really ultimately, what are you doing it for? For the pride of John Ritter? Like, really? Like, you are doing it just because you're scared of saying no to these people. You don't even remember John Ritter, dude. That's the thing. Then there's even less.

reason. Give me Harry Dean Anderson's fucking number. I'll call him. Harry Anderson. Not Richard Dean Anderson. Oh, fuck if McGiver rolled in. Can you imagine he'd fuck that clown up with some bubble gum and a paper clip?

Well, he always has battery acid on him. Oh, that's what of his weakness is. But yeah, I mean, like, don't kill yourself in this situation. If you're in a house with Jason and you got no way out, yeah, maybe take the coward's way out. I'm a big fan of the coward's way out. But this is like the idiot's way out. Yeah. Total boob move, man.

I can't believe it. For the, what, the five or six scenes that they use blood in this, like, why waste it on a death that, like, you didn't have to, like... But that's how you're pretty cool looking at all, but that's the... You kind of like it's pretty cool. It's cool imagery, but to your point, though, cabin, like, the thing about it is if you notice this movie's blood use, it's all just, like, on wall... It's only on porcelain.

Sinks, bathroom tile of some kind. And photo albums, they're all porcelain. Yeah, bleeding photo... Bleeding porcelain. The blood balloons. My God, the 99 blood balloons you get. 99 blood balloons floating in the

dairy sky. Pretty much. That's pretty good. That's fucking weird, man. I'd buy that single. Ritter's introduction is also kind of great. So when he gets the phone call, he's coming back from winning some sort of architecture award.

Dude, this guy is going to nothing but architecture ceremonies day in and day out. I don't understand this word. though he's got like a babe a stretch limo possibly cocaine he's an architect he's an architect what's weird though is in the book i think he lives in like nebraska or some shit which is i mean they don't specify where he is here he's in new york city oh is he in new york yeah yeah yeah i think in the book he's somewhere in the midwest like that because at some point he goes up like he's like all drunk and he's looking at the city like i architected you you son of a bitch i fucking built

this town it's my building that's my building that's my building. That's my building. He drunkenly walks up to it on top of it. It's like the baby's day out ending. He's just walking up to the end of it, drunk off his ass. That is the scariest part of this movie. So he gets out of this limo

with this babe who thought he was Bowbridge's and they're boozing it up. He stumbles into this loft thing. Massive loft space. I think the chuds are running around outside. And they're about to get He gets the fucking dreaded mic phone call.

Uh-huh. And then immediately, like, pushes this woman aside and goes to a table and just fills up this huge waterglass with whiskey. Yeah. And, you know, it's like, we're getting drunker tonight and this dick will not be working. There's so much interrupted fucking in this movie. That's Mike Hanlon's move, man. And I guess what? Mike Hanlon, I'm busy tonight.

Maybe I'll get there tomorrow. Mike dropping everything. His part-time job is a cock blocker. assistant librarian slash cock blocker and I mean like here's the thing you answered it

by the way what if you built a sewer from New York all the way to dairy you flood you flood Pennywise

with chuds oh yeah get the chuds up in there this is a very practical solution to build a gigantic tunnel system wherein

New England shit can mix with New York City shit Yep. All right. Supernatural beasts fight each other. Ninja turtles can get into the mix.

Jay, you got to come back. The chuds are after me. Can I ask a serious question? Please. What is going on with John Ritter's phone in this apartment? I don't remember. Do you see this? Oh, it's an incredibly long phone wire, right?

It's a cord phone because it's 1990, so we're still fucking around with that. But yeah, it's a weird, like, the phone's on the bed, right? And it's got a long cord. to the receiver and whatnot. But then also the cord goes like up into the ceiling? Yeah.

What is, how much cord do you need? Is the phone on the ceiling? No, the phone's on the bed. But it just goes up, so it loops up? You're talking about the curly cable goes to the ceiling? It does, yes. Yeah, the curly cable just goes up.

That is madness. You're a super successful architect. How about more than one fucking phone in the house? Too busy concerned if he could rather than if you should. Yeah, that was the decision he made at Caldors. Sir, I don't know if I could make a phone wire that large. Caldoer phone, huh?

What a cheap skate, Ritter. But the funny thing is, he used to be the fat kid and, like, this whole movie, and, like, John Ritter is in, like, you know, early 90s, John Ritter's shape, which is not to say great, but not to say bad either, but everyone's like, you lost so much. Wait, he's fucking 40, anything can happen.

Like people are fat kids and they grow out of it And that kid was like a big kid He wasn't like super tub zone Like they react Like this little kid had to be cut out of a house Exactly Like they see Ritter and they're like Holy fuck did they cut off 75% of your body

Like no I grew up you notice I'm 6 foot 3 now Like what do you think happened He tells some weird story about how like a gym teacher beat the shit out of him Because he lost weight Yeah What I missed this There's a thing

He's like giving a Nettoilus a sensuous massage. And he's telling the story about how like some kids were picking on him because he was fat and the gym teacher didn't do anything. And he was like, next spring I'm trying out for the track team. Motherfuck and you're going to pay for this or whatever. And he talks about like he ran everywhere for like the whole winter and ate nothing but salad.

And he's like, and then I beat all these records at the track team tryout. And I said, what do you think about that? And the coach punched him in the face. I would too. How dare you lose weight? So everybody comes back and everyone's very afraid and now Pennywise and like, guess what?

Now Pennywise is fucking with you. 24 by 7. He wasn't before. But now he is. It was just Mike's problem yesterday. Exactly. Now today it's all of your problem. And by this time we've been getting all those flashbacks.

Right. Yeah. Of 1960 and the, you know, all their personal encounters. and all the stuff. The one thing we should say in the 1960s they beat him with the slingshot in the novel

which I don't think and the reason we're doing this by the way in case you haven't noticed is it is coming out as well Yeah I think it is already out Yeah it was out last Friday And none of us have seen it

We're recording this in mid-August Yes well we don't have to tell you don't have to tell them everything WHM secrets Planning ahead for episode releases And I would guarantee that this tidbit from the novel didn't make it into the movie. I know a colleague of mine has seen the movie and has confirmed it's not in it as well. So they defeat it and it's great, right?

And they're lost. All these kids, these prepubescent kids are like lost in the sewer tunnels. And wouldn't you know it the only way to get back to civilization is if they all have sex with their female friend? Clickety clack. So they defeat the ancient evil clown shape shifter. And then they get lost in a sewer that is in a small main town with a low population. It's got to be like, what, like a mile or less to the water treatment plan or something. Yeah, it's not a big town.

Yeah. And then they don't know how to get out. So they decide to have an orgy. Uh-huh. Yes. Just to, you know, like, I don't know, freshen up their minds or something. I think it's something where it's like... Like unity if it bonds them.

United if we've all fucked. But my question is like... It's like creepy captain planet. It's kind of like sleepers. Yeah, yeah. Oh, God. It is not kind of like sleepers, cabin, my God. They have this shared trauma that they carry around.

Yeah, but I don't... In the form of Pennywise, I guess. Well, all right, that shared trauma. I was going to say the orgy in the book is not... They molested themselves, Chris. You know what's But you know what Shame on the publishers

Exactly What did he have Over these publishers That he was like You know what You're not cutting out The Kid Orgy You can blame cocaine on a lot of things

I don't think you can blame it on this This was like Fucking five tablets of acid And then a whole thing A Jim Beam Rye Everybody should be 69ing if that's the case Like yeah

It should be I think what happened What happened was Stephen King Went to a Louis Carroll art exhibit And then went home and decide to pen a little tribute. I mean, my God, you want unity?

How about a fucking big old sewer set Daisy chain, okay? Come on. Or just a big old group hug, maybe. How about where are you fucking in a sewer? What are you fucking up to your neck and turds? Yes. God.

And apparently it goes on four pages. Hey, kids, I was just going to eat you. Honest, you know, it's over. We're good. I'm going to go back to see. Space. Hey, Hey,

kids, guess what? You won. You beat old Pennywise the cloud. It was too disturbing for Pennywise. You got to do something

more fucked up than Pennywise. I got to go throw up. The alien spider crab is aiming the slingshot at itself. You know what? I'm going to sacrifice

myself and shoot myself in the dead light, you sick fucking kids. Who taught you that? Oh, my God. He's just trying to raise them right now. Honestly, I was alive when there wasn't even laws in this country. This is crazy.

Maybe I've gone too far. How about I read you a story? Maybe I'll help you with your algebra. I know, mess. You know, we're talking about this thing that's not in the movie we're talking about. And thank God it's not. Yeah. I mean, how about a group hug?

Actually, at the end of the one sequence, I mean, there is a big hug. sure everybody gets in a circle and we have a big hug nobody's jerking nothing in the circle it's just a hug circle this is one of the few moments where the movie improves on the source material i would say you fucking better believe it so when they're kids by the way how do they they defeat pennywise by spraying him with battery acid how do they know to do that i well here's the thing i thought the same thing because i watched it and i didn't read the book but while i was Wikipediaing today they use used the power of imagination against Pennywise. So the kid by saying it's battery acid,

he reacts as if it is battery acid. I thought it was like, I thought pollution killed all the monsters in the world. Like, you don't see mothman anymore because it's got coal country. Pollution makes monsters, man. That's what happened to

Godzilla. That's true. And the toxic event. Well, and the toxic avenger, of course. I think this is a monster paradox. That they can be killed. buy or become right oh it's like the genesis device you know what yeah totally so yeah and then like yeah he goes away

they all hug and then they go back and they come back and when they come back he starts haunting them all Harry Anderson's you just want to watch McGiver man he goes to the library to meet Mike and this is my favorite Tim Currying that happens in the movie where like

he's like making fun of him he's like oh shit he's like flirting with a young librarian. He's like, little young for you, huh, Richie? And he's like, no, no. And then, like, he's trying to talk to her and he's, like, getting all scared. There's a bunch of blood balloons going off. And then it's just this shot of, like, Richard Anderson in the foreground, trying to talk to this librarian.

Harry Anderson. The man's name is Harry Anderson. The character's name's Richie. Okay. His name's John Anderson. Mr. Anderson. Harry Anderson is in the foreground, and Pennywise, Tim Curry is in the background like up on this balcony he's like hey you fuck and he's screaming and he's trying to

just like well when's you're going to be back is he going to be back anytime he's like yeah you're gonna die you son of a bitch and he's just like uh uh uh yeah thank you so much i can uh it's just like the it is a great scene all while harry anderson who's the only one that can see this is himself covered in blood yes exactly uh it's awesome and then o'toole goes back to her house because she's trying to find her dad. She had this thing where there's a blood sink and she's like, oh, I guess I'll go back to see what the old sink looks like.

Man, bloodsink, that's like a C-grade 80s horror movie. Yes. Don't wash your hands in blood sink. Ooh, the prequel to deathbed. The bed that eats, man. The prequel to, what, the refrigerator? I haven't seen that one yet. That one is bad.

Murder phone? Oh, you're thinking of murder by phone. Murder by phone. A.k.a. Bells, I think. Oh, that's a... That's a crazy movie. Yeah, you get a phone call and your head explodes, basically. Oh, really? I haven't seen this. It's pretty good.

You know, that's a situation where if you get a phone call, you might want to kill yourself. Not so much of a friend invites you out to Maine. Who's that in that movie of Richard Chamberlain, I want to say? Really? Harry Anderson. So she goes to this house, and this old lady answers the day. door and she's like, hey, is my dad here? And she's like, FYI, your dad's

been dead for five years. Thanks for checking in. Yeah, if you've got an abusive dad, that guy's going to die alone and you're not going to that funeral. Good for him. Totally. So she invites her in for some tea and she's like, oh, I love what you've done with the house, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And as is the case with several

scenes in this movie, it's Pennywise pretending to be a person. But they take five minutes to get there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, you know, They decided they were going to make this a two-part fucking TV event, man. You've got to drag it out somehow.

Eric has a new metric for We Hate Movies movies now because this is the longest movie we've ever done. Because this is three hours and what was it? Seven minutes. Seven minutes. So what? In total. The Godfather is what now?

It's longer than the Godfather. It's two hours and 58 minutes. We have to skip Star Wars now. It's just a hair under Schindler's list. It's eight minutes shorter than Schindler's list. Oh, wow. That is insane. For a scary clown.

And I'll tell you what, that other movie's got more kids dying. Oh, God. It's not good. I mean, no, it's a good movie, but it's not good what happened. Sure, no, no, no, no, no, absolutely no. I'm glad we could clarify that. Clean that up before the tweet storm. It's cleaned.

It's a museum now. This is actually, I, it's kind of funny because it's another, like, Stephen King likes gross old dead ladies. Yeah, sure. Because this is kind of just like the Shining where, you know, Jack Torren sees the fucked up old lady in the bathroom. Did anyone notice somewhere in this movie, there was a poster in the background of like the glowing or something? Oh, that's a nod to the Shining? Is that a nod to the Shining?

It is, yes. That's stupid. Because Bill is a Stephen King type and he wrote a book called The Glowing. Oh, he wrote the glowing. Yeah. Oh, that's great. Well, it's a funny thing when Bill goes into the town library and there's a section that's like, town hero, Bill. they have like all of his books laid out or whatever uh yeah but it's fucked up because then like

so the old lady starts talking like penny wise and she looks up and she's got like fucked up penny wise teeth but then it turns into the voice of her father and then it's it's that actor yes uh who kind of looks like harry dean stanton then just dressed up with dead old lady makeup on and he's running after her dude it was this is a bone-chilling part of this movie might be unrelated to penny wise this is just what happened to her father he did some psychos shit. It's a creepy town, man. Lots of creepy shit went on in this town, apparently.

Well, this is also the town that the stand happens in. Okay. Isn't one of them. Insomnia is connected to this. Dream catchers in here. Insomnia is connected to this. Insomnia is part of this because I think they talk about Mike working

at the library, I think, of insomnia. So, wait, okay, so in 1990, we finally rid the town of it of Pennywe. For hundreds of years And then like 10 years later Dream Catcher shows up

Yeah And then in Dream Catcher Now in this The clown has the powers But in Dream Catcher Basically the same group of kids Has Superpowers

Right Yeah There's a reverse Why couldn't the psychic kids Help out the kids Who were fucking in the sewer That's a good point I guess they just weren't friends

Maybe they were the bullies Well I think they skewed I think the kids Who were fucking in the sewer A little older than the Dream Catcher kids Yes I guess it And it was between it cycles, and between 30-year-old cycle. Oh, right, because it's the 30-year thing.

In the book, it's 27. This is a stupid thing. Like, in the book, it's 27 years of the cycle. Just keep that. Just fucking keep that. And what is the alien cycle? Because in Dream Catcher, right? It's an aliens?

It sounds like 30 years. There's an alien cycle. It's like the winter and the summer Olympics. It's always, you have to keep it separated. The It comes every 30 years. The alien comes every 25. I'm sure there's, you know, occasional ghosts.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. A ghost on 15 years cycle. Devil dogs every like five minutes, five minutes maybe. Oh, man. Devil dogs. For me, that was like every afternoon. I have a devil dog on the way home from school, right? I was talking about the mighty kujo, but sure. I'm talking about what, that nasty pastry. Yeah. Oh, it's a hostess. Yeah. It's like sand, but sand with like whipped cream. It was so dry. Yeah. Yeah. Devil dogs were notoriously dry cakes. No, it's trash, man. Can we talk about the, like, the most awkward and, like, annoying scene in this movie? Please. Which is the endless dinner at the Chinese restaurant. Yes. Yes. This was, like, a Seinfeld episode. It really was, dude.

So, Mike, with his town connections, arranges to rent out, like, the back, the party room of this sit-down Chinese restaurant. First of all, as Eric pointed out off the air, you're not getting this fucking grand, Hunan balcony type restaurant and fucking Maine suburb. Also, I wouldn't want to go there. They're advertising chop suey. Isn't that more of like a West Coast thing? I never saw it on living on the East

Coast. Yeah, we don't have that here really. That's true. At least advertise like as it being like the selling point of the restaurant. Go for burgers and beer. Go for a fucking lobster lobster roll. I'm finally back in Maine. You know, the one thing I mean, the clown's terrible, but the lobster rolls are great.

Yeah. Got to be like clam chowder. maybe probably yeah yeah exactly go to like the harbor districts whatever oh you're back come on come to the harbor district we've been building it up well i don't know is dairy like on the coast bill is dairy on the coast like that i don't know yeah i don't know where it's positioned in the state go to the dairy farm have some cheese it's a foodie destination so first of all all those old factories have been turned into breweries. Kids' arms are a delicacy.

So the first problem sign at this restaurant right away is that there's a liquor cart that's just there for John Ritter to start poking around in, man. That's awesome. And so they get in and like immediately Mike is like, so this clown, and they're like, hang on a second. Let's have a drink and ketchup. And they proceed to just get loaded.

Well, this is when we play the only song in the movie, which is, because there's one, this is used in two montages. This montage and the bicycle montage, where it's like, it's all right, you paid for one song. Yeah, we only had one song. I don't know if it's him singing it,

but I think it's a song that Curtis Mayfield wrote. Sure. You have a good time, because it's all right. Yeah. Over and over and over again. And this movie does, like, all TV and movies does this. And it's,

This movie is about a fucking killer clown that shapeshifts into a crab spider. Sure, you would think. One of the most unbelievable parts of this movie is the whole, we're ordering seemingly endless amounts of Chinese food. We always do this in entertainment, television, and movies. Like, it's two people eating Chinese food. There's like nine takeout boxes around. They are getting...

That's how I eat Chinese food. Really? You just order... I go ape shit, dude. And then I'm just like, you know what? Hey, maybe they'll be leftovers. There are six of them. There are six, but this is a restaurant.

There are six of them at this table. They're getting like at least 15 entrees we see during this motel, monta. At least six specials, I would say. Not even like the normal like chicken and broccoli. It's the real deal back of the fucking menu, whole fish special. Lobster sauce. There's like a succulent pig sitting on the table. It's crazy.

fun the fucked up thing is at the end of the thing mike insists on paying mike notoriously the least successful of them all yep and like they do one cursory like oh come on mike he's like nope nope it's all taken care of and they're like well thank you mike and it's like no no no mike's in trouble there goes his rent well you know maybe it was a thing where like the owner of the chinese restaurant had like a thousand dollars in late fees and he's like all right man i will waive these late fees if you give me and my friends That's why he's on probation. He's just fucking tearing up

late for he's left and right. Or maybe he's got their kids hostage and he's going to feed him to it. Oh, that's it. I bet he's been like sacrificing kids around town. Oh, that might be something. That should be the twist. Distractions.

That should be the twist. He was like, it's helper. It's a great way to shut down. Like if you want to pick up a check, he has a great line though where he just goes, sorry guys, that's just the way it is. Shuts it right down.

like they make a stink but well you can't come back from that if that's the way it is that's the way it is you know if that's the case and you're a millionaire architect you mail mike like 500 bucks you know it's in an envelope and like it's just like you don't think about it the rule of thumb is if you're on the cover of time magazine you're picking up the check that's absolutely correct thank you eric unless it's for a murder beef that you know that's unless it's like your mug shot yeah i would like to could we get a murder beef for the table Maybe some of the sesame chicken Oh, the murder beef you have to order in advance It takes way too long All right, Ted Kaczynski Just get out of jail You're picking up the check big guy You know the rule

But so Yeah, so they're all catching up We learn a little bit about each everybody And then it starts to get spooky scary Right? This is the important part Well this is so then the lady comes With like the fortune cookies And they all like start turning

into creepy monsters and stuff and gushing blood and guts all over the table. Some of this gets lazy and confused. One's a cockroach, one's a scary eyeball, which is a pretty good effect. Another one is like just blood because we like blood. John Ritter's is like this weird crab claw

thing that is trying to get everybody. That one's weird. Yeah. And then Mike's got like a fucking chicken embryo. Yeah. That's also disgusting. But you know, the thing about this scene. Sorry Mike, I ran out of ideas. I never thought all six of you were going to show up

I'm glad Stan's dead because I really don't know what I would do with that. Someone would have just got a stale cookie. Nothing creepier than a stale fortune cookie, Stan. I put my used floss in it. That's pretty gross.

The fortune was terrible. The fortune was just one of those obnoxious things that says, to get more fortunes, go to this website. Fuck you, lazy, I only had enough magic left to make the lucky numbers all 13. That's all I got, like, sorry. But, you know, by rules of, you know, restaurant etiquette, technically this dinner shouldn't even happen.

Because they all get there and then like a nettoole is the last to show up. And she walks in and it's a fucking 1990, a nettoll and everybody knows what's going on. She takes one look at these dudes and then faints. Yes. You know what happens when someone faints at a restaurant? The dinner is over. yes exactly we're all going a doctor you know the EMTs are coming and you're definitely not staying at that restaurant this meal should not happen I'm not feeding you food after that no get out of my restaurant fucking fainting all over the place well because they cut like you don't even see like her getting back up it kind of like just cuts from her doing that to like they nurse her back to health with ducks she's laying down oh she's laying because this is it's a it's a classic TV three hour TV movie commercial break she faints we've fade to commercial. We come back in.

She opens the rise. She's looking at Harry Anderson and he's like, oh, hey there, beautiful. And this is also when you really see Harry Anderson fucking open it up. He's really taking it for a ride in this scene and he's screaming in this restaurant. If I was any

other diner at this establishment, I'm furious with the fucking management. I'm like, get back there and tell them to shut the fuck up. Everybody's screaming and fainting that nerd had an asthma attack. And honestly, because I hadn't seen this before. I was certain he was going to get eaten.

You pray. Oh, yeah. I was like, come on. Pray for it. This is setting it up. This is, I'm really going to get it. He's not the one that dies. And you're like, why is he not the one that dies?

He's just endlessly bitching throughout this whole movie. We wind up going to a haunted hotel. We're not really a haunted hotel. Pennywise also is kind of like, oh, shit. They all came back. You know, let me free the town murderer. So hopefully he could murder one of them. And this was one of the bullies, right?

From the past, because we kind of didn't talk about the, excuse, yeah. Bowers. Oh, I think you said hours ago. And I was like, yep, it sure was. This fucking long-ass movie. He was throwing, well, no, he got rocks thrown at him. He was finally defeated all of his bullying. And then apparently he went up to.

Not after a couple brisk uses of the N-word in this TV movie. Oh, wow. ABC. It's terrible. Were they bleeping that or what? That's a great question. weren't that old thing. I don't think they were. Because they were making it for ABC, right? So it was just like, oh, it's... Yeah, it's in there. That's so weird. I guess they wanted to show, like, the adversity, uh, I mean, he's a, he's a villain. So, like, I guess you get away with it. I'm using air quotes. But you know what, man? Do the math. He's a fucking black kid in 1960 Maine. Also, you didn't need the... You didn't need to add salt. The guy was like offering to cut people up and, like, was going to rape Bev at something. point. I didn't need this too.

It's distracting. It's jarring. It takes you out of the movie. Because he's also, he's throwing boy around all over the place. That's it. I get it from there. Exactly. So they throw rocks at him and they run him out of the area and apparently he ends up like confessing to its crimes. Yeah, he goes crazy. Him and his buddies go and they actually try and kill all the kids in the sewer. They're going to follow him or maybe fuck him up. They might kill him. And then it gets them. and kills two of his buddies and turns him into Jim Jarmish real quick. You took my joke, you fuck.

It's like Jim Jarmish begins this kid. Oh, that's awesome. Oh, man, it's so great. Yeah, one kid gets sucked into a pipe and it's a great effect because like it's just the actor laying on his stomach with his hands out. And then like there's fake feet so he's like bent unnaturally, which is awesome. Then another kid just gets torn up and then that other dude gets Jarmished. It's fucking great. So now we cut to Jarmish in prison

And it is talking to him via the moon Hey, hey whatever movie Yeah, he's just like And then he's under his bed Yeah, it's like the whole thing His idea, his thing is like, oh, you know If they don't believe in me, I can't get them But in either case, if you get a knife

You can cut their goddamn throat like, you know I can make knives I can make many, many knives His face is in the moon telling this guy to go out and kill kill more. Yeah, yeah. Well, it's, this is, now this is a weird, it's a weird fucking thing what happens here.

So he's, I believe he's in like a mental war. And he's like, all right, how am I going to break out of here? So then Pennywise appears to him in the form of the buddy who got bent up in the tube. Yeah. Whose name is Belch? Sure, great name. And, you know, it's like zombie looking belch or whatever. And he's like, hey,

here's this switchblade. And then there's the attendant or like the security guard comes in like, hey, what's going on in here? At which point, Belch turns into a dog monster. It turns into a clown with a dog head. It's a clown with a dog head. It's great. It's like a Rottweiler in a clown costume.

And like, so if it, if like this it character creature's thing is like he taps into your fears, which it's very smart that he's mostly a clown because he's not terrified of clowns, right? But then like Seth Green sees him as a werewolf. You know, the fat kid sees him as the dad, whatever. You know, blood sink, I guess is what a nettoll. Bev is scared of. of right but like so this you won't wash your hands of blood sink this medical attendant is scared of a clown with a dog that's pretty scary like Pennywise is like okay what's this guy scared oh it's well it's my body with the doghead Roddies

Roddies easy enough and then the guy in the next cut's like well Mary if you want I'll throw a lasso around the moon and pull down Pennywash the clown for you by the But, like, you derail my thoughts so hard here, because now I'm thinking about them, like, putting the Rotweiler on the ladder and then draping the clown costume over it. The logistics of getting this shot is frustrating. Dude, that wasn't, like, that wasn't movie magic, man. That's, there's fucking real. There's clown dogs out there. Pennywise made it for the picture.

There's clown dogs out there. That just reminds me of, oh, my God, what was that in? Don't tell mom the babysitter. Yes, thank you. Clown dog, the restaurant and don't tell mom the baby. oh right did anybody notice it was it was the worst part of the whole movie for me oh please wow the name of the attendant oh yeah coons coons really coons he had to oh i hate he's the worst one yeah that's what he says oh coons he's the worst one wow he's not i'm gonna get that fucking coons too

and then the kids gonna fuck each other yeah yeah and then he's cleaning up after my characters Oh, that's Lovecraft. He's overrated. Oh, clickety-clack, indeed, man. So they go back to the hotel, oh, the haunted hotel. We're in the hotel and then like everyone's like, oh, we're telling stories and then like, it's like, oh, you know, let's all go up to our rooms and like somebody has the idea, like, don't go alone. So John Ritter, Eddie, and Mike go up to their respective rooms to get stuff. Ritter goes to do an Ed O'Toole's room to get her a sweater and he's like smelling all of her stuff by the way

Yeah It's a have a good smell Kastanza graduation Herves holiday man And he had written her some poem as a kid And she comes in and she's like Oh you wrote me this poem I remember it And they start making out

And wouldn't you know it very much like The Shining He turns it to Pennywise Yeah she kiss me fat boy Which is a pretty funny line I chuckle literally every time I've heard that and Will if I ever hear it again Kiss me fat and it's like

The way they capture like Tim Curry doing it to Like the angle that he's at It's just it's beautiful I think I'm gonna make that I haven't made up posters or anything like or you know I don't have Decorations for my wedding yet But Kiss Me Fat Boy might work

Oh yeah totally It sure would you should decorate your wedding with a bunch of fucking horrific looking clowns that's going to be her t-shirt yeah it gives me fat boy no uh and then he he runs out screaming um coons gets mike and he we get one more classic use of the n word real quick yeah just for old time's sake you want to connect him this guy's been in prison for 40 years that's who he is the first word he says as a free man is that he's a Red Sox fan all right

Mike's just like oh yeah oh hey what's going on to which he responds by stabbing him in the chest a couple of times and then like everybody gets him off there they want to killing him yeah he somehow gets the knife in him dies instantly so they leave they're like

oh we have to rush Mike to the hospital oh my god penny wise is everywhere and they're like they're running out of the hotel and they're like, what do we do with the dead body? It's like, if we get the police, I know the town's crooked, we're going to be screwed anyway. But John Ritter leaves his card on the way out. He's like, oh, just charge

my room. Oh, yeah. With the dead body? That's when you're paying cash. It's going to be a very different John Ritter Time Magazine in like about a month. Don't rent a room to this man. Well, it's fucked up because he has, I think it's Ritter's character that says this too.

He very easily comes up with, just put this blanket over him turn the TV on really loud and we're just going to leave I was like that was a pretty fluid thought I've been here before yeah exactly when they take what's his name to the hospital Mike to the hospital so they all

because they don't want to leave each other and Harry Anderson has rented this red convertible right and they all cram into this car Harry Anderson is definitely driving drunk to this hospital yes they've been doing nothing but pounding whiskey this entire back since the Chinese restaurant.

I would argue they have to fight it drunk. They definitely are still drunk, that'd be great as they're getting into the, as they're going down to the sewer, they're like, I'm kind of getting that like pre-waking-up hangover you get. Yep. Oh, I hate that.

The good thing about being down in the sewers, you could just puke wherever. That's true. But man, like you want to be on your A game when you're fighting a menacing fucking monster, man. I don't want to do anything when I'm hung over.

This is not a time for me to be believing. something. Yeah, exactly. Oh, shit, that thing's played by Tim Curry. Oh, God. Use my imagination now. I imagine a big bed in an air-conditioned room watching The Rock on VHS.

That's how Pennywise gets him. It's a big surta mattress comes out of him. He becomes deathbed, dude. Oh, nice. Oh, I'd love that. Audra blows into town for no reason. Like, she's not a character. Oh, Bill's wife, played by Olivia Hussie. She might as well

just not be in the rest of the movie, because it doesn't do anything. Maybe in the book, and who knows. Yeah, no, it's useless, honestly. She comes in, she gets caught by Pennywise immediately. He uses his dead lights, which in case you don't know, is a light that makes you go insane. It comes from his tummy.

What? It does. He's like an evil care bear. He kind of is. I don't understand this thing, too, with Audra, so, like, her motivation to go, so, like, they live in England, right? They're working on some movie It's a very Stanley Kubrick situation Right

So they live on this like biggest state They're faking the moon landing And so she's talking to this dude To help me with this moon landing You can tell that she definitely has a type Because he's talking to this dude Who's either like the producer of this movie Or the director who's like

Another evil shithead dude to this movie Franco is his name? Franco the producer This guy also has a ponytail and alludes to they had some sort of previous relationship. Oh, shit. This lady likes dudes with scuzzy ponytails,

but whereas Bill is like the pure, you know, innocent, heroic ponytail, this Franco's the dirty evil ponytail. That's because Franco wears ties. Bill's wearing ties all over this movie. Oh, dude, he's wearing a tie through this whole movie. Oh, I did that. He wears a tie with a lot of inappropriate shirts. He's freaking blank nothing this whole movie.

He looks like a really hip substitute teacher. He's wearing like a tie with like a purple corduroy shirt. Holy moly. It's just weird. It's just unsettling. Yeah, he cut up a blanket and put a tie around. All right, all right. He's wearing good ties. Yes.

But so he's like, you know, this dude's like if you leave like, you know, you're, I guess she's also starring in the movie is the idea. Yeah, sure. So he's like, well, his career is already over with. If you leave, you're going to wash yourself up. like him, blah, blah, blah. And she just immediately, like, she, it's kind of weird. I don't know what's going on here.

She picks up the phone. She dials literally three numbers. You can see her just go, blah, blah, blah. And she's like, hello, yes, when's your next flight to America? I was like, that's a fake phone call. You're just trying to get out of talking with Franco. That's something that Stan could have figured out. Oh, hold on, Mike.

I've got someone on the other line. Yep. That's it. What? I'm having trouble hearing you. Exactly. And also, Bill was working on a movie. That's a perfect excuse to get out of fucking main duty for the weekend.

I think he pulls the biggest guilt trip on him, though, because he's like, hey, man, it's back. By the way, you know how I know? I found a fucking photograph of your dead brother. Oh, God. How many times are going to use that one? Seriously, pulling the Georgie card on me, you fucking dick. How many of those do you have?

No, like, honestly. I don't understand that, though. Why is it leaving fucking headshots of these kids? That's a great question. Because that's like the opening scene of the movie It's like a little girl gets killed And Mike shows up at the crime scene And this cop is like

You know the chief is gonna be mad If he knows I let you on the crime scene And then the chief comes and choose this dude out And Mike looks under this treat And it's just a picture of this kid What are you doing? You know I mean and also like he doesn't want the loser club

Which is what they call themselves to come back Like that specifically Like he doesn't want that to happen So don't leave headshots of the loser club's brother Maybe this is like you know suicide by loser club like that's how I want to die they're going to end me

Leno's ratings were down for a little bit he had to get like a one like you really had to pull in a favor so those fuckers are still alive Pennywise you gotta help me out Letterman's kicking my ass you gotta kill more kids but I mean like

also Pennywise just cut Mike Hanlon's break line Dude, that's it. Yep. That's it. That's the end. That's the end. Oh, man, it'd be great

if, like, Pennywise just started resorting to, like, regular crimes. Like, his powers fading in the world, maybe the Earth's getting too old or something.

Sure. So now he's just, like, cutting breaks and, like, pushing people in front of the crosswalks when they shouldn't be. He's, like, he's, like,

fucking with their tax returns, so they're, unknowingly committing tax fraud. Exactly. He's like, now, Mike is stealing cable. Shaves off the wig.

Now, just, one will, place phone call to Time Warner. It's 20 is the click, Mike. So, at this point, Ritter and Annette O'Toole start making out outside of the hospital. And, like, Ritter's got this great

line. I'm like, I don't know, Bev. Is it you or is it the clown? And I'm like, you kind of can't come back from that, Bev. You have to explain to her that just a few minutes prior to Mike's attempted murder. Yeah. He was making out with

penny wise and thought it was her because without that information he's just like is it you or is it the clown and you're she would be offended no but not only that but dude how are you going to how are you ever going to be comfortable with this woman if every time you look at her you think about the clown that you know what dude it's the power of a 1990 annetto tool okay that's true i don't know i don't i think you say goodbye to erections i think this is just you know what turn your back on it maybe i mean a couple of years you got viagra and then you're okay but like but like for the time being

I'm gonna spoil your erections forever so what happens now they had to his bone cave yeah they kind of like after some much annoying Harry Anderson bitching it's like oh I didn't want to come here now I didn't want to go to dinner

now I didn't want to go to the fucking sewer system but I'm gonna do it anyway I'm gonna fucking covech about it the entire time that's I mean even that I would almost take over fucking Billy like very mopeishly blank screen saying we have to do it guys because they're all about to leave and say fuck you to all this

and he's like no we have to do it because we have to do for Georgie which yeah it's lame but it also like mirrors in the kid timeline where Jonathan Brandis who is good in this movie by the way is like very upset and he's like please help me he's like begging for their help oh my god go ahead I'm sorry

what if a 1960 Jonathan Brandis to beat Pennywise imagines his hero, Chuck Norris. Oh, I like this a lot. I like this, this I like. Because that's in his,

he's the greatest power of them all. Right. Yeah. Hey clown. Hey, clown. There's nothing more un-American than a killer clown. Maybe voting Democrat. Hey clown, did you also serve in Vietnam? I didn't think so.

Kia. Keya, indeed. We go down on the sewer, Harry Anderson's like, nobody brought a machine gun? Bam. Good point, though, honestly. What are you talking about?

It's a fucking magic clown, man. A machine gun's not going to do anything. It's a stupid line. Or you can just... Or just imagine a gun and blow it away. If anything's going to work. Gun with battery acid bullets?

Yeah, whatever. Who gives a fuck? Maybe imagine dragons? I don't know. Oh, God. Yeah, that'll kill you. So we go down there. It's just the five of them at this point because Mike's laid up. Mike survives the stabbing. He's in the hospital. Stanley killed himself for no reason.

Absolutely no reason. And so it's actually a really dumb thing is Mike gives Bill the two little like silver nuggets that Bev used as a kid to slingshot it or whatever. So he's like. Because Mike went through the garbage to get it. Right, he went back down in the sewer on his own to get them, which he admits to Bill was because... You're living down here, Mark? Hey, buddy, you can't be sleeping down here, man.

It was during a rough patch of his life, and he was feeling suicidal. So he's down there, like... Suicide by clown. He's like, yeah, dude, he's like, all right, either I find these two little melted down silver nuggets or I get killed by the clown, one or the other. Or gas exposure or, like, you know, anything.

Oh, yeah, just poisoned, by feces. Even if you're not poisoned, like the smell is sticking to you for months. Oh, you can't wash that off. No shower can do any help. Hey, Mike,

you're sleeping it off in there or what? So what Bill says is like, it's the five of us, but we have these two nuggets, one's for Mike and ones for Stan, so we're all here. I was like, no, there's five of you and two pieces of garbage.

So whatever. They go down there. There's a bunch of creepy, like people wrapped up in like spider web shit including Audra yeah and Georgie comes back the boat comes back we just fight this fuck

it's a big stupid spider crab thing it looks terrible very anti-cligmatic like give me Tim Curry you know what maybe if you want to put him in a different outfit than the clown put him in the outfit from the book like in the book he's a clown but he's wearing like a crazy like silver suit

anything I agree with you like just to have this big puppet clown like reptilian or something you know it's I mean to go back to like 1989 when they're making this movie and be like oh I'm sorry wait so what's gonna you have this amazing performance from Tim Curry and he's not in the last 15 minutes of the film instead we're going to kick a puppet yeah and that's what we do we by the way that is it that there is no other way to put it is just they they go up all this fear they've had yes and they push it like a swing And it's over.

That's fucking it. Well, it's kind of just like they're Joe Pesciing this thing. They're beating the shit out of it. They really are. A lot of mafia kicks. They get a nugget in the thorax and that's that. Dominic,

my brother in there. Yeah, I mean, like, he tries to use the dead lights. It doesn't work. Well, does she get a shot off on the dead lights or no? She does because he's, I think he's showing them his stomach either because he's trying to scare them

or if that's part of his mating thing. I don't know how it works. And that's how he's around. It might be suicide by the loser club. No, that's it doing. Leno is terrible. Take my life. If I see one more jaywalking, I'm going to do it myself.

Actually, that would be perfect. They green screen it, and when she hits it, there's like a firework goes off. Yeah, that also looks very dull. It should just be Jay Leno's face. What was that one character you used to do? Like, Beondo or something? It's just his floating head. Have Jay Leno's floating head come out of his belly.

Did you hear about this? You hear about the, um, these people in Arkansas? And so it, like, they, they, they put this in the newspaper? It's kind of funny. It's kind of funny. Oh, look at this. They were trying to take an ad for something, and they spelled something wrong. This is television comedy.

Send me to eternal darkness now, please. I've lived a million years, and I want it to end. So the, the nerd kid gets picked up, and I guess has, like, his skeleton crushed by this monster. Which I need a little bit more here. I need blood out of his eyeballs. something anything and he just kind of like expires and then Annette O'Toole shoots the deadlights and it kind of rolls over and they're like oh you know this isn't over and Harry Anderson actually has a good line right here he's like I don't want to do this again when I'm 70 which was pretty

funny and then he's like they decide like all right let's finish this once and from like Chris said they kick over this puppet and they're all just I mean it's like it's like a fucking Romero movie man like they're tearing at this thing which by the way he was supposed to originally direct this better movie they're like pulling at this thing and my god in heaven this dude who plays bill reaches and they're all like they're all like screaming like john ridder's just got like goop all over his face and this dude rips out this beast's heart and just tears it in half nice they should eat it they should have to consume it yeah make it become part of us this is this is all we had to do yeah this is really after

all that yeah all you had to do was uh rip a space spiders heart in half. Yeah. That's it. It's the end, what, centuries now of child's massacres. I mean, but they're the ones that

cracked it, though, dude, I guess is the idea. They had the bravery and the tenacity. Of course. And the previously unseen orgy experience to take down this monster. Also, and the thing that didn't get put in is they also had the guidance

of a turtle. Oh, right. Yeah, in the book, there's a turtle that helps them around. The creator of the universe is a turtle ladies and gentlemen. Clickety Coke. Clickety Coke. That's an actual religious thing I think. Someone believes that. Japanese

maybe or Native American. Madonna? That sounds like a Madonna. Probably Madonna. The funniest thing is my favorite piece of IMDB trivia ever is John Reader went up to the producer and he's like, oh, so what's a turtle going to look like?

And the guy was like, the fuck are you talking about it? Turtle? That was, oh man, that's humiliating. There's four of them, and they're named after Renaissance dangers. Well, like, that's a bummer, though, if you're Ritter and you're maybe like a fan of it.

No, he was actually a huge fan, apparently. And, you know, it's like, hey, one of my favorite parts of this movie is the turtle god, and they're like, fuck you, comedian. We're talking about what's the Andy Dufrein murder scene? What are you talking about? Why don't you fall over a table you fuck? Oh, man, you fucking stole my.

My tripper joke. That's it. Oh, that's great. Yeah, so this thing's dead. They carry that dead nerd out. Audra is comatose. Yes. And so what kicks in every now again in this movie,

whenever it's convenient for him, if he has the time to do it, Mike is technically narrating this movie. Sure. And he's writing down all these memories in his journal because the memories are, like, everything's getting cloudy again. They're forgetting that this whole experience ever happened.

Good idea. Yeah, and he gives like the epilogue. So it's Harry Anderson, moves back to L.A. and he makes a movie alongside somebody that looks like dead Eddie. That's a weird detail. Yeah, it is. I never really noticed that one before. Like this viewing round, I was like, oh wait, he said he looks like the dead French. So is it Tommy Boy? Because the guy kind of is like David Spade.

So he does that. John Ritter and Annette O'Toole like leave town that day. And he says like they were married a week later and three weeks after that they were pregnant okay because that broke the curse oh right yeah because they're all childless yeah that's all right yeah you're fine

you know what you're fucking fine thank you penny well you're welcome no just tell tell her you bet penny wise nothing's gonna happen and then he's like oh so bill and audra are still in town because she's in a comb or she's comatose yes she you know and

they're getting ready to leave and they call this cab out and Bill sees like his old bike and he's like let me try this one thing and they get on a bike and ride down this like San Francisco Hill. Yeah in Maine. And she wakes up from this coma while he's like darting through traffic on this bicycle. And that's the last shot of the movie. Well you know the last shot of the movie is Pennywise laughing for no reason. Not a shot but it's a hero. It fades of black and it's like a clear television credits thing you know it's like the end of an episode of taxi

and then like it's just Tim Curry laughing and you're like oh yeah that fucking great performance that I haven't seen in 20 minutes so stupid so fucking stupid so is Mike gonna like publish this thing is that his hope because I mean

him and Bill might be getting themselves into a nice little lawsuit fight soon well he changed the names to protect the innocent No, Kevin's saying He might also write a horror story better The script, the rights, I mean, it's a whole thing Well, they're all forgetting it though

And I think, I don't know, it's totally different I have that and you have it Oh no, that's coming for us Look out for that Man, that's the fucking sci-fi channel Ripoff if I ever heard it Oh no, that starring Ian Ziering He's a mime, he's a mime

Ian Zering is the mime in that that starring Ian Zering and Tara Reid Can I say I think I know why you watch this movie You've said for quite some time now That an instant A plus in any movie Is child death Yeah this is like the child death all stars It means so much child death

Yeah even though it's all off screen Yeah I gotta see it man I gotta see it Maybe you see it in this new movie Yeah I want to see like the soul leave the eyes like it's a Gus Van Sant movie Yes sure or real life Chris Would anybody recommend this it?

No And I mean I don't know Again we haven't seen the movie that's out already I will wind up seeing that let you know I'll let everybody know it Yeah please let us know Yeah but it's just sort of it's really boring It's really long

Just there's got to be a Tim Curry super cut on YouTube Just go watch That's what I was going to say I'm sure you can just track down everything Because I think, like, all told, he's got like 15 minutes of screen time. Something like that. I mean, even just the library scene would be good enough. Him screaming in that library is great.

Never see this. Absolutely, never, ever see this. It's just too long. It's my big beef with this. So, hey, fuck it. Yeah, no, it is, it's on the lower end of the, even the TV adaptations. Because I think the Shining adaptation is better than this. I will take sleepwalkers all over this.

Any day of the week. Any day of the week. That was a TV movie? No. But like just like bad movies. In terms of bad adaptations. It's a really silly stupid movie. It was a clickety-clack adaptation.

I do believe so. I don't think we're done with the Stephen King TV stuff. I feel like the Langalears is definitely an episode. Speaking of fucking Balkei Bartakamu's, he's all over that episode. And the Tommy Knockers is the other one? Tommy Knockers was a TV movie. Tommy Boy was written by Stephen King. The Dark Tower, maybe.

I heard bad things. It's supposed to be awful. I mean, listen, you have like this entire L-O-T-R-esque world you're setting up. Your movie is 99 minutes. I don't know. I don't think the best part of the movie. That's it. Directed by Tommy Lee Wallace.

If you want more W.HM, check out WHMpodcast.com or find us over on the HeadGum Network. Rate and review the show wherever you get it. greatly appreciate it. Like us on Facebook. Follow us on Twitter. We're at WHM podcast, all that good social media stuff. Coming up next week on the program,

as season eight still gets underway here. We are doing sort of our, I guess this kind of counts us back to school too because kids die. Sure. We're doing kind of our little back to school episode with if looks could kill. Now what the hell is that?

It's James Bond Jr. if it was a film starring, what was his name, Richard Grick? Richard Grieco. I think it's going to be a hard recommend for everything. I kind of really liked it. Isn't the who's Roger Daltry in that as well?

Yes, he is for a second. I'm so excited. Andrew, I'm very curious to see what you're going to think of this because I think it's up your alley. I'm an if looks could kill a virgin. Right now anyway. But then me and a bunch of friends are going to go down to the sewer and fix that. That's the only way you're going to get out of that sewer, my friend.

That's right, man. So until next week with if looks could Kill. I'm Andrew Jupin. Steven Sadek. Chris Gavin. Eric Siska. Take it easy.