We Hate Movies - S8 Ep319: Episode 319 - Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare

Episode Date: October 3, 2017

On this week's episode, we kick off the 2017 Halloween Spooktacular by tackling the super-silly, super-stupid, Freddy sequel, Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare! Why did they stop trying to make these movies scary? What's with those quotes at the beginning? And did anyone really care to learn this much about Freddy's back story? PLUS: We play another round of the classic game: Ponytail or Rat Tail?  Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare stars Robert Englund, Lisa Zane, Shon Greenblatt, Lezlie Deane, Ricky Dean Logan, Breckin Meyer, Yaphet Kotto, Tom Arnold, Roseanne Barr, and Oprah Noodlemantra; directed by Rachel Talalay. Be sure to catch our live commentary over I Know What You Did Last Summer, October 27th at the Jacob Burns Film Center's fourth annual Halloween Marathon! Get your tickets here!  Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

It's now on today's program. Speaking of spooky shit, we are kicking off. What is our annual spookacular, you guys? Finally. Fucking finally. Fucking finally, indeed. And we're doing it in a grand fashion. It's Freddy's Dead, the Final Nightmare.

I'm Andrew Jupin. Stephen Sadek. Chris Cabin. Eric Siska. And we hate movies. You know, it's Halloween. I guess everyone's a title of one good scare. Sometimes, dead is better. Zombies have entered the building. They're at the door. They're coming in!

It is time to keep your appointment with the Wicca Man. They're coming to get you, Barbara. He's sick fucks using one too many movies. Now, Sid, don't you blame the movies. Movies don't create psychos. Movies make psychos more creative. Put the fucking lotion in the back. It's an excellent day for an exorcism.

Hello, everyone. Welcome to We Hate Movies. Thank you for tuning in, as always. Welcome to Spuctacular 2017, everybody. Very excited about that. Why are we clapping? Because it's fucking fun. It's fun.

have fun. Please clap. Except for this week. Except for this week. This movie fucking stinks. It's from 1991 directed by Rachel Talillay, who really hung around this franchise. She was like a writer on some things, I think, and like an assistant or something. Did she produce for or maybe she was a producer?

She has her name on a lot of these fucking nightmare movies, man. Didn't she also direct one of those Sherlock's with Benedict Cumberbatch? Oh, did she really? I saw it on a Wikipedia. It might have been a prankster. A merry prankster, you think? Maybe. Yeah, so this is the final

Freddie film. Nope, it's a total lie. Can you believe it? Can you fucking believe it? Be fair, the Freddy's story as it exists ends here. That's true. The story we've been telling from six movies ends, and then new nightmare happens, and it's like, oh,

a movie within a movie, and then we do the Jackie Earl Haley, nobody wanted it. Well, you're leaving out, Freddie versus Jason. No, you're right, that's right. How could you forget? There's six full hours past this

centered on this fucking character. On that hat. And we should say at the end of this month on All Hallows Eve, we're going to release our standings episode ranking what is the worst of the big three franchises.

These fucking movies stink. They fucking stink. And this one is just as bad. Now my dog's barking at something. Get out of your dog. That's not your dog. That's a hell hound. Ooh, Halloween.

So this is, I think, also a thing. We talked about this when we did, Jason Goes to Hell. Like, these movies shouldn't leave the 80s. Yes. This is 1991. It's played out as fuck. These sequels are way worse

than Friday of 13 sequels, but it's still the same, like, we shouldn't be doing this anymore kind of a thing. This is the rare franchise that shouldn't have reached into a sequel. Yeah. One and done. The first one's great.

Everything is shit. I don't mind Dream Masters, but this is a discussion for another time. But the fact that, like, yeah, of course, in the last one in this one, the body horror stuff gets amped up pretty hard. But it's just like body jokes.

I mean, there's no horror about any of it. And that's like what is the most frustrating part. Excuse me, the ear thing in this movie drove me nuts. Your trauma is a problem, man. I get enough body jokes in the mirror. Well, that's the thing is like, I mean, like, that's, I mean, I guess, like, I don't have nightmares about, like, I have like. Bookerman?

No, yeah, exactly. I'm nightmares like, uh-oh, overdraft fee on top of overdraft fee. You're getting audited. You didn't send that email. Yeah, I don't have nightmares like they exist. They're going to reinstate debtors prison. No, that might definitely happen. Yeah, that might happen.

Expansive VET vision. So you know what's a great way to start any horror movie? Uh-huh. With a quote by Frederick Nietzsche. What the fuck? I've only watched, because I'm going to watch all of them again, but none of them start with Nietzsche quotes. No, they don't.

But the third one starts with the Poe quote. That's cool. Yeah, like a little, but then it's like a Nietzsche quote about like, I don't even, I didn't read it. Oh, Eric wrote it down. Oh, nice. Oh, Eric, Nietzsche. Do it with the accent.

Oh, geez. Do you know the terror of he who falls asleep to, my handwriting is bad? Wow, Nietzsche was really modest. To the very toes, he is terrified because the ground gives way under him and then the dream begins or some shit. Frederick Vichie. Yeah. Which is followed. by

Welcome to Prime Time bitch Freddie Krueger Oh that's who said that That's who Is it time time or is it the party? No it's prime time Because he fucking says that

In part three When he pulls the woman Into the television set What is he an NBC sitcom? Well because it's just like Any way we can make fucking yuckles with this character And you look at that first movie

And that is a bone-chilling fucking movie And the rest of it is just trash It gets trashier as it goes on We'll save that for the franchise discussion. And the first one is scrappy. Like, there's an inventiveness to it in this. This, I like, I was confused three minutes in. Oh, sure.

Three minutes in, I had no idea what was going on. Well, here's the thing. It starts with, like, an escape from New York crawl. Like, what is it? And this takes place in the future? Ten years from when, so 2001. Yeah. All the kids in Springwood, Illinois are dead.

are dead, except for one. The adults have all contracted some sort of psychosis because of it, but there's news that one child remains. And it's like, now I'm not kind of complain about like the logic of this movie, obviously, but like if something like that were to happen in one tiny Illinois town, like, what the fuck's going on the next town over? Somebody's saying something. Like it's just, it's so dumb.

And yeah, it is very like carpenter escape from New York kind of shit. Well, the weird thing that we really get into geography in this movie because I guess like Freddie is not only bound by the dream realm, but really that street is it. Like, that's it. He can't get out of there, which doesn't make a whole hell of a lot of sense. Well, this is what happens when you start trying to, like, create this useless mythology for this character

when it's just like, oh, here was this fucking pedophile, these parents murdered him, he swore revenge and, like, exacting the revenge in their children's dreams. There it is. That's what you need. You know, they should have had, like, the X-Files get involved or something like that. They were right around the corner, dude. Lone gunman at the very least would be like

hanging out doing a piece for BuzzFeed. But like in the third one, the fucking the therapy for what it's called a hospital, like a mental hospital, I guess. The therapist, the guy who looks like Bill Maher. So he can haunt that. That's not technically on

Elm Street. No, I was going to correct Steve on this because I think it's he's confined. to Springwood. Oh, man, you can't leave your... I can't leave my hometown. I'm kind of scared. I'm a townie. You sure is.

I think Wikipedia said it takes place in 1999, maybe. So I just don't want to get tweets. I just don't want to get the tweets. Man, if you're tweeting a correction about Freddy's dead, the final nightmare. Hey, man, you're coming home for Thanksgiving? We have two options with that time period. So it's either those towers went down

or total request live. Yeah, it's one or the other. I guarantee you because he's definitely in that fat boys video, Freddie Kruger, Robert England made a live

appearance on MTV in some form or another. Oh, that makes sense. Everybody see the music video ready for Freddy? No. What? Oh,

you never saw ready for Freddy with the fat boys? I didn't know about this. Check it out on YouTube, man. It's charming. Tell me he doesn't kill the fat boys. No, I think they like run out of the house scared.

Yeah, I think he just like gives them a good spook. Yeah, no. Twas diabetes got the festival. No, I don't know. One of them is definitely dead. And I think it was from fucking, you know, heart disease or something. That's just, yeah.

They were great. You know what? Go see Disorderly's great movie. Go see Disorderly. Out now. Go see Disorderly. It's your local multi-pire. You never know.

Some people make Halloween film festivals. Film marathons. That's right. Or I think film forum is doing disorderlies. Oh, it's a fat boys retrospective. See, we're joking about that. But it might happen. I never thought in my lifetime I'd see, you know, see total recall showing at film form.

But it happened. It happened. Don't tell me it didn't happen. So we start with like this kid that looks like Jim Carrey, like an early Jim Carrey. I was going to say, dude, he's a total Johnny Depp knockoff. Oh, you think so a little bit? Yeah, I got that a little bit. But can I also say, so Nietzsche.

Yeah. Backtracking. Into Freddie Kruger. But the third titan is the Goo Goo Goo Goo Dolls. Oh, yes. Yes. Yes. We've got early 90s gullies gullies gugu dolls starting off this movie.

I got to tell you, it's a fucking good song. The music is kind of okay with me, honestly. It's like that like pre... I thought it was scary. That early grunge that didn't really do much. Shit grunge. It was like radio grunge. Yeah, radio grunge.

And not like alt radio grunge. Like shit like early 90s Gougoodell. So we're clearly in somebody's dream. He's on a plane and he wants to change seats. Oh, 2001 anyone? Oh, they won't let you change seats now, man. And then listen, Southwest Airlines, spooky. That is terrifying.

Sit wherever you'd like. That won't cause chaos at all. Our planes are always late. So yeah, he wants to change seeds. The flight attendant's like, no, we're full up, stupid. And he's like sitting next to this woman. And he says something like, oh, I'm nervous about this flight or something. And the woman's like, don't be a pussy.

It's a great line. She immediately gets sucked out of the plane. and that's when you're like, all right, it's a dream. Got it. Hey, got it. We're doing a lot of, like, we like this effect of, like, I don't know, I don't know what you would call it. Like, basically sucking people in and out and, like, sucking. Oh, yeah, it's a great effect.

Like, sucking. Like, like, the beginning of fight club. I'm trying to think of it. Like, super smash. Like, now we're in a house. Super smash. Now we're flying in a plane. This guy's getting pulled all over the place, like a rag doll.

In and out of this house, getting sucked out of the plane. The woman gets sucked out of the plane. Yeah, it's all. Getting sucked out. off. Oh yeah, dude. It's a big fucking suck marathon. Well, because he gets, so he gets sucked out of the plane. And then he wakes up and he's in a house. But then it turns out the house is flying through the sky as well. And then you start hearing like a riff on and you're like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, here come the jokes. And he fucking

opens that curtain. Why is this just not a spoof movie? Dude, it may as well be produced by the Wayans, brothers. The first time you see your character, your scary character, is him pretending to be a witch. And he's like, I'll get you my pretty and your little soul, too. Hi, guys, I'm back. Remember me? Oh, thanks for buying a ticket. Marilyn Manson named a track after this.

I'm selling my CDs in the back. I'll meet you guys later. And it's just like you couldn't have. A harder fucking shuckle hut. A harder fucking eye roll, dude, like, if you try. And you're just, that sets the whole tone. Like, right there, I was like, well, I giggled back when that obese woman called that kid a pussy. That was pretty funny.

But, oh, now, oh, the whole thing is supposed to be comedy. Yeah. Oh. God damn it. And then you get the second time in the series history that where Freddie Krueger plays a bus driver. Yep. Which is kind of, that lets you know the series is going too long. Yes.

When your horror icon is driving a bus for the second time, we're out of gas. And, you know, we were talking a lot about the Bob Shea fillating that went down on in New Nightmare. Yeah. He plays this fucking ticket giver. Yep. And I thought it was Kieran Hines at first. I thought it was a really young Kieran Hines. Jesus Christ.

One of his first roles or something. No, it's fucking Bob Shea. New line chairman, Bob Shea, man. That sucks. A creep. That's sort of. whatever yeah it is um but yeah so it's like he's driving a bus and then you think about part two which i like yeah uh where he drives a bus at the beginning of the movie but it's like much more

terrifying and like the bus is teetering on that fucking cliff and all that shit this is just like no screaming while the bus is in motion how many jokes can i stuff in this scene and we've got like honest to goodness cartoon sound effects in everything he gets it gets hit by a fucking bus and i'm like all right we're starting the movie right i was like boink And it's just like, okay. And like there's like a thing where he tries to go through the reality and it's like a fucking cartoon anyway. And it's like, dude. Just stop.

Just stop. Like stop trying to make me laugh. Why don't you try to fucking scare me? Did anybody ever think about that? No, they don't care about that at this point. It's either fucking make you vomit or make you chuckle, I guess. Like honestly, Chuckle vomit.

New from Ben and Jerry's. But it's seriously thinking. like, West Craven, rest in peace, should have been like, you know what? I shall forgo royalties money so I can sue these people to death because they have destroyed this fucking character.

It's just, there's nothing here. He's just like, he's a comedic clown. Yeah. He's Bugs Bunny. He's exactly Bugs Bunny. Or it's like Deadpool, but dumber or something. Oh, Deadpool versus Freddy. That's something. Oh, shit. Let's get those

internet rumors swimming around, man. Yeah, no, actually please tweet that, spread it around. Ryan Reynolds and Jackie Earl. Yeah. No, seriously, let's hoax the internet, dude. What is scarier around October than fake news? You're trying to build a slash fiction empire here, I feel. This is the seedlings of it.

We didn't say they were going to be fucking. I mean, they would eventually. They would have to eventually fuck. In season two. Well, no, maybe they just form a support group for like burned people, like for like charred, for charred flesh. A great idea. They'd look alike too. shit. Is Deadpool based on

Freddie Krueger? Maybe. You know, Wade, you don't have to wear that mask. You're beautiful on the outside, too. I also use jokes to get to get me okay with my appearance. I'd rather people laugh at me for the wrong reason. It gets better every day.

So your classic horror sequel setting of we, you know, want to figure out a different way to get a bunch of kids in a room together. Sure. The old group home for risk teens. And this is very close to three, which is the psych ward, which Chris had already mentioned. But yeah, it's like... Or Friday of the 13th 5, which happened ages ago, aka Roy the movies. See our old episode on that. He, uh, we start with Breckenmeyer in his first film role. Um, is, is this a rat tail or is just like a rotten ponytail. This is, it's, it's a, it's a skater ponytail. You saw these quite a bit in the 90s, uh, because it's, it's like barely to your shoulders. Yeah. But it's thick enough and not braided so it does not count as a rat tail. Okay. I think you get a lot of these in gleaming the cube.

I can't be 100% on this. Speaking of chuckle vomit. That's a chuck. No, no, no, no, that haircut. Oh, yes. And Brecken Myers face. My God, what a chuckle vomit that thing is. He's playing video games.

His dad, like, kind of just, you know, is yelling at him because he's like, he's in a group home and he's really not happy about it, I guess. Well, it's one of those, like, he's. He's a super rich boy. He hates his fucking dad, man. I don't want to date rape Co-eds. And I was like, nobody said you had to. Yeah, yeah.

But he sort of throws that, like, on his dad. Because he's like, I don't want to be like my dad. I don't want to go around date-raping Co-eds. I was like, what? That's a movie. Yeah, exactly. Also, like, do you want to tell the police about that? Like, seriously.

You can't just throw those allegations around like that, man. I hope that that's true. I mean, I don't hope that it's true. But, I mean, if you're going to say that Breckenmeier's character, you know, there better be some fucking weight behind it. This is how, this leads into the beginning of the devil's advocate. Yes. This could use the devil. Like, we're actually ending Freddie.

I know there was Jason goes to hell and it's terrible. Yeah. But I don't know. Give me like a charismatic devil. Give me Al Pacino. Give me Tim Curry. He should have to phase off. It's like, uh-oh, I'm getting called into my boss's office.

That would be, that would be something. Like at Vincent Price, it's 1991. Oh, yeah. To play the devil. And he's like, oh, Freddy, you've got one more chance not to mess this one up. There's something. There should be some stakes to this character because he gets killed every fucking movie. Yeah.

He gets, you know, like Holy Water, buried and all that. And they just bring him back. There's like, there's no explanation. Yeah, there's never any explanation, really. Well, all of the movies until this one end on a cliffhanger. That he's really not dead, even though they really keep. killed him this time. Yeah, it's all just like,

see you next sequel, burp. Yeah, because the middle of the movie is like, this is the only, we figured it out. You put a fucking, you put a cross in Holy Water and you sharpen it like a knife, you can cut his head off or whatever.

You know, you spend the whole movie, you do it, and then it's like, oh, you thought it was that. It's not a movie. Maybe I'll tell you next time. Exactly. Yeah, I think, well, there was an argument, I think,

between West Craven and Bob Shea for the first one, Who's faster Superman than the Flash? I mean, really, it's probably... It's got to be Superman. I got to say the Flash. Superman can't fly back in time. Well, he can fly around the world to change, right?

To make everything go back in time. Yeah, he's got to leave the planet to do it. Okay. Yeah, but if he flies around enough and then flies back to the end of the race before the Flash gets there, dude. If you turn the world backwards, you're killing everyone on the Earth. Like, everyone on the Earth is dead. But you're what you would win the race.

Thank you, Chris. Thank you. Thus killing the flash, that's winning the way. Okay, that's the answer you're saying. They were fighting about, like, who, like, how the movie would end. And I think, like, Bob Shea won. If I remember the story correctly, maybe I don't. I'm sure the internet will fucking straighten my ass out.

But, like, Bob Shea was like, no, it's going to be a cliffhanger because one about sequels. So it ends with, like, the car, like the Freddy top on the car. Yeah, like drive on the last. Oh, the end of the first movie. Yes, yes, yes. It's not just like we can. can just add bullshit to the next

movie's beginning to explain it. We have to have these... Janine, will you get him out of here? Honestly. I like my bullshit up front. Talking to a brick wall. I do appreciate how in that first movie it's Fred Kruger. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

I've ever watched that first movie, just rewatched it leading up to this. Me and my wife were walking around the household all week going, Fred Kruger, how are you doing? That was, I mean, that was back when he was an editor at large for the New Yorker. Yeah, exactly. Fred Krueger and New Yorker. How you doing?

Well, that's what this movie kind of gets into is a little bit of like what Fred Kruger was up to before the shit went down. And I don't give his shit. How about that? That's a great question. What's his job? Why do we need an origin story in the last, quote-unquote, last movie? He was the janitor. The treehouse of horror that covers.

This is actually pretty good. It's also better. It's the second best Freddie movie. Lousy Smarch weather. So we get introduced to Lisa Zane. Is it Lisa or Linda? Lisa. I think it's Lisa.

Lisa Zane, Billy's older sister. Nice. Uh-huh. It's a fucking sexy Greek family right there. Oh, man. What did you say their name was Zane Topowitz? What is it? Zenitos.

Zenitos. Zentis. Oh, wow. Zanatos. There are people that have names that are different from yours, Chris. No, I'd stop it. You saw her Lisa Zane and Billy Zane. Who's fucking Zeus and Hera?

I mean, Christ! I think that's what happened. These are gods on earth. Do you really think Billy's that hot? Yeah, man. I guess it's that golden kernel maybe. Dude, you fucking see him in like that first Back to the Future movie? That's stud town.

I mean, even back Twin Peaks, even Twin Peaks era. Yeah, that's true. There's a lot of studs in both of those. So many studs. A night of too many studs. I mean, I'm sure, even after the events of the Titanic, he like got back with Rose for like a weekend she's like yeah I can't quit you dude he's like hey babe yeah I knew that threw those Irish kids off that boat but

no I think he has to live the rest of his life thinking that she's dead oh that's sad because I was actually rewatching the last like hour of that movie was there was there a cliffhanger yeah dude tune in next week to find out what happens to this boat the boat says I'll be back well no that's the end of the movie is like it is the Freddie Krueger ending she's on the boat with all those friends and like you're here forever well the thing is so like in the aftermath of everything there's this great shot of billy zane like walking around clearly looking for and she sees him oh right she's like nope and like pulls a blanket over and turns around but yes i brought this up on twitter but how fucking weird is this that she's like i'm dead and the place i want to

spend eternity is that boat where i watched all those people perish yeah what a weird thing yeah maybe back like in my early like my teen years like I mean well before she got on the boat how about that how about before she got on the fuck how about your fucking family that you had man where's that husband she's cursed Andrew it's a curse she doesn't want to be there she has to be there wait and I feel that's what James came and should have done wait there's a twist where she's dead at the end and Bill Paxton's like a necromancer no the the last shot of the movie because like so Rose dies yeah yes oh right yeah yeah The old woman, Rose as an old woman, she kisses the Reaper and dies.

And then the last sequence of the movie is you're back on the Titanic. And it's all the people that you saw die or have since died because like Kathy Bates is hanging out. Victor Garber's there. This is like the photo and the shining kind of thing. Have you ever seen this movie? Yes, I saw it in the theater, goddammit. Well, fucking then clean the shit out of your ears and listen to this. I'm listening.

Okay, okay, I'm there. I'm getting cold already. You're up there. The deck of the Titanic. Okay, I'm going to rearrange these deck chairs. Go on. No, but it's fucked up because then, like, Leo turns around, and they're all there. But I think Cameron should have went darker with it.

Leo turns around. And the last line of the movie is he just goes, oh, no, they got you two directed by James Cameron. How fucking cool with that mean? That's cool. That's great. Wow. So her ghost is sucked right down to hell with all those people. Sucked right down, dude.

The North Atlantic. Lisa Zane is working. All right, Freddy's dead. The final nightmare. is working with Yafet Koto, who didn't get an and in the credits, and that bugged me. How the fuck? He's the last name in the credits.

It should be and Yafed Koto. Yeah, or whiff. Yeah, with the other. I think an and though. No, no, no. Fuck the width. And you think so? Yeah, you know what's and the best part of this movie?

Yeah, please. That's the full credit. I mean, his hair, it's like he skidded an armadillo and put it on like a helmet. It's a bad jerry curl. Yeah, it's not great. Are Armadillo's, like, hairy, like, they're like a helmet. But, yeah, that's what I'm saying. His hair is very helmety.

Okay. I just love the fact that in this, he's kind of like, dreams are bullshit until the end. Like, he's like, I can control myself in my dreams. I don't know what you kids are doing. This is easy, peasy, you fucking babies. And he's talking about, like, ancient dream demons or something. Oh, my God. And all of that shit, dude, the dream lore and everything.

Just please stop. Honestly, I'm going to say something completely different. Give me more of it. I kind of agree. You think so? Do like the ninth gate and then Freddy's in it at the end for some reason. It's like, oh, I've been reading this book and it looks like there's a Freddie Kruger guy. Actually, if it led to more Yafet Koto, yeah, I think you're right.

Well, because that's the better part of the movie. That's like the, what do you call it, the skeleton of the movie, but the middle of it is just another Freddie Kruger on Elm Street movie. It's because, like, the kid comes to this halfway house. Who we're just calling John Doe, by the way, because he has no memory of who he is. It's a fucked up screenplay thing where he was supposed to be the kid from the last movie. Right. But then they were like, no. We should also mention at this point, by the way, that original first draft of the screenplay, Peter Jackson.

Oh, right. Peter Jackson was supposed to write this movie and maybe, I think, possibly direct it, and they fucking totally scrapped his script. Well, did you read what his idea was? Yeah, how like, and this is kind of cool, I think. It's pretty cool. So it's like his idea was Friday. was like in the dream world and he was like old because people didn't like respect him or fear him or whatever like kids were doing drugs and like that's more interesting than dreaming now the thing was like they would have parties where they got fucked up like do a bunch of drugs pass out and then they would go into the dream world and like kick the shit out of him oh that's awesome yeah it's like beating the shit out of the across the street neighbor from home alone it's like the idea of like freddie kruger in like the dream world getting cans from the garbage and these like rowdy teens pushing him around.

He's just trying to shovel his walk and someone breaks a bottle over his head. Oh, great. AMC is playing Steens Coach tonight. Oh, no! Those rowdy kids! That would be awesome. And then presumably, you know,

something happens to like kickstart the fear and whatever. Yeah, but yeah. You know, heaven forbid there's a fucking original idea in this franchise. And the, what's his name also did? Michael Almerida. Oh, right. He did a pass on this too and his got thrown out the window.

And this is what we landed out, by the way. So, John Doe comes to the halfway house. We meet Spencer, who is Breck and Mari. We talked about it a little bit. There's another kid named Carlos who has a hearing aid and there's a tough girl named Tara. Tracy. Tracy.

And she's like, she wants to beat everybody up. She looks like a younger Anna Gunn. She does. Yeah, about that. Yeah, yeah. Not Anna Gun, though. And they're trying to escape. the halfway house and they wind up going uh so um we find out that you know he's from the john

does from elm street and like to help cure his amnesia lisa zane wants to take him back to elm street right her character's name is maggie for the record and yeah she has her own like they allude to she has some dream thing problems as well right yeah fat koto is like trying to sell her on the whole like you can control your dreams by reading this huge tome and meditating with me or whatever. Buying these crystals from my shop. Yeah, exactly. Yep, totally. And also this sack of magic beans.

It's like, for 18 installments, you know, 39.95. A monthly 18 pack of this special tea. You know, it's actually funny. Another connection to that third movie, Dream Warriors. Yafet Koto, badass black dude in this movie. Part three, badass black dude Larry Fishburn. That's true. Credited as Larry Fishburn in that movie.

I love that. Oh, you get those early credits of Lawrence Fishburn as Larry. Eventually, it's Lawrence. I think it was like, what, probably mid-90s era. I don't know when the unfortunate change happened, but man, a casual Larry Fishburton credit. Oh, I love it. There's nothing wrong with the name Larry, man. Stop running.

We could have went back to it, right? Hey, Koo! Hey, Larry, we got the same name. That's why I did. I forgot about that, Larry. Oh, call me Morpheus. Oh, shit. That's a nightmare. Like, that's a legitimate nightmare.

That would be our nightmares. Like, Freddie Kruger would make us watch Larry the cable guy in the Matrix. It's just him farting in slow motion. Oh, man, the chicken. Oh, right. That's how he jumps across buildings. Rooftop to rooftop. Actually, dude, that is our hell, right?

The devil straps you to a chair. And Larry the cable guy farts in our face. for eternity. There it is. Does he get Prylosec OTC or does he not? He doesn't because the Prylasek would aid in the farting and you just want the real nasty farts. You need to feel the heat.

Yeah, totally. And then like every 16,000th fart in your face is a shart. Oh man. Then you got to call up like Cypher. Someone be like, hey, load in the farting like the knowledge of farting into me so I could battle Larry. I don't think hell works like the Matrix. Mr. The Cable Guy.

Please stop farting in my face. Well, no, it's at the end of the movie, and he's like, yeah, man, there's going to be a lot more trouble next time. And then rages against the machine starts. Cool, wait it now. This is reminding me of stay tuned with... Oh, right, with Jeffrey Jones. I love how Eric said with John Redder,

and Steve said with Jeffrey Jones. sadly only one of those dudes is dead and you want proof there's no god that switcheroo that switcheroo right there so he basically we go to elm street and she takes a bus

like why can't you just take doesn't she have a car why does she do a whole fucking bus dude she's listen she's a fucking social worker at this facility you think she's she she's shelling out for that gas I don't think so that's true you're definitely taking the company van that's the thing that's been on their block since like 64 and they've just been like redoing it every year.

I'd rather see a movie about that. Giving bus maintenance. Yes. Yes I would. At 9-Bron, Elm Street 6 bus maintenance. So they get to Elm Street. In fact, we got some stowaways in Spencer, Carlos, and Tracy. Oh, right.

And we find this out because John Doe falls asleep and then like he hallucinates seeing a little girl in the middle of the road. and he like jerks the wheel and Maggie has to stop the van suddenly and all these kids fall into the front seat much like a Scooby-Doo cartoon. Now here's my question about the one, two, Freddy's coming for you thing, which doesn't appear in this movie

in sing-song form. But yeah, it's a lot. Sorry, I'm just laughing in the back at Sing-Song. Well, you know, the little girl's jumping rope. One, two, 30. It's a great song. Yeah. That's all.

Did Freddy write that? I just like Sing-song. Is that Freddy's thing? Or is like trying to puff himself up at the dream? Maybe that's when he was like raping kids. Oh, okay. Yeah, maybe. I think in the early years, he was just like more, like he was more into it.

So he's like, all right, some of these dead souls I got, you're going to be singing. Oh, okay. And that's all you're going to be doing for the rest of your fucking lives. And you guys are going to work in the restaurant, uh, okay, we need some busboys at the restaurant in my dream hell. I need a lot of you to haunt the school. So just hang out there a lot and, uh, we'll be right on. Was he a child molester?

Yes. Okay. No, actually. Just making sure I got that. Child murderer. He's a child murderer. You know what? Ask Jackie or Elhaley.

Well, that's the thing that Jackie El Haley is a child molest. Okay. Sorry. No, Jackie O'Halee is a nice man. As Freddie Crewee, when he played him in the remake, they made him a child molest tour. No, like, you know, there wasn't child molestation until, what, like 2000? Well, it was invented whenever the internet came out.

Yeah, exactly. They just called them child murderers. Yes. Well, that's the trade, Y2K. The world didn't end. but all of a sudden, child molestation. Listen, I feel it's a thing, like, they're just not saying it. Yes, that's what I'm getting at.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But, yes. Now, when we had that 2010 reboot, it's like, the world is a much harder place, so we can actually say that he was a child molest. But, yeah, in this 1984 horror movie, he's just a child murderer. They don't specify what he was doing to the kids.

He just killed them. John Doe's little dream in the car has one of my favorite lines. Oh, do tell. When he finds himself in a padded room and he says, Free me, you idiot. I'm your fucking memory. Oh, man. Which comes to nerthing.

Like, there's never again a thing where he goes back in there. And there's a reveal about who this guy is that comes to nothing. And that's kind of, you know, I'll use this word lightly. It's kind of an interesting thing, right? It's like this dude's mind palace. There's like some sort of trauma that's messed him up. Like let's try to unearth what that is. Nah, let's just fucking forget it all together.

Well, they're just trying to do like a psycho switch, right? Because you think it's going to be his movie and then he dies in the first-ish act. Well, you know, he dies kind of like half-with-through. He lasts longer than Mary and Crane does. But that, I believe I read something where they were like comparing it to that. And it's like, of course you were. Of course you were. Fucking joke.

so we wind up going to a we stop at a carnival for some reason because it's just like we're just here's the thing they don't drive immediately to Elm Street she finds something in his wallet that says Springwood which is conveniently two miles down the road from this group home

so she says like let's go to Springwood and figure out what's going on so they go to the town where we're told by that John Carpenter escape from New York scroll at the beginning that there's no kids and all the adults have some sort of psychosis so and here's the thing though like I guess are they also

sterile? Can't they make new kids? Like, what's going on? I think Freddy keeps killing him? Or maybe it's a thing where it's like, we got to stop fucking because all these kids keep getting killed. Is he killing babies? That'd be sick. You know what, Freddy, stop with the kids? He probably is starting to. That's probably

why he's having such problems. What do you think of baby nightmares? Isn't that, I mean, in the movie prior to this, isn't he like haunting the dreams of an unborn child? That's like the thing. Oh, maybe. Elm Street 5, the dream child. I just watched it and I couldn't tell you. Well, isn't the fourth dream child, then it's Dreammaster?

Oh, you know what? I don't know. Save that for our Halloween episode. But yeah, I mean, like, wouldn't, yeah. When, does he, is he allowed to kill babies? Does he wait until, like, they get to 15? All the adults are under a psychosis, they say. Uh-huh.

And, like, we don't really, I mean, we'll, we'll get to the adults in a minute here. But, like, they don't really nail down, like, what exactly is going on in this. like apparently it's just this town right and there's no investigators anywhere be like what's a flying fuck that's why it's stupid or or is there okay how about this think about that or is there now they what does that mean i'll tell you right now what that means they're secretly making it so that town dies so that freddie dies with it right so like they're they're like they get a bunch of um i think they're called eggheads and they do like the the, you know, like the, it's not therapy, hypnosis.

Hypnosis. Yeah, it's kind of like therapy. Hypnosis. And they do the hypnosis on the adults. So they're like, I don't have babies. Oh. And then they, you know, all the babies are dead. There you go.

So you're saying you wait until the town to die off. Right. It's like under the dome or something. Why isn't there at least like, why isn't cereal here like fucking mapping out a new? What, Kellogg's? No. Rice Krispies? No.

And the podcast. cast cereals. Somebody has to be at this town reporting on these events. Oh, S-Town Season 2! Here's my question. S-Wood, Illinois. Dude, yeah, S-Wood, I-L, dude, definitely. Is it Illinois or is it Ohio?

It's Illinois, I think. I was pretty sure it was Illinois. If not, that's Halloween. Because I was just thinking, Ohio, because that could be a good... Oh, because, yeah, Haddonfield, Illinois is Halloween, but maybe... I don't know. I'm pretty sure it's a bike, you know. Either way, it's the Midwest, man. And that's a creepy place.

Oh, man, we got a, we got a campaign in Springwood. Get those crazy fuckers. So as we get into this. It's a swing district. Get the votes. As we get into, ah, man, the getting the votes gag just made me sad. Yeah, I know.

So as we get into Springwood and they notice at this carnival, it's all adults walking. around. The kids get out of the car to ask for directions while Maggie takes John Doe around trying to track down something else. And so these three kids are walking around. And who do they run across in the middle of this carnival but none other than comedy power couple for 1991, Roseanne Barr and Tom Arnold? They are credited in the end credits. Oh, I didn't read it. Mr. and Mrs. Tom Arnold. Get out of town. Do you think Tom Arnold demanded that? I guarantee you he did.

I'm just, I'm asking everyone to stop tweeting, it's Springwood, Ohio, it's not Illinois. Oh, shit. So we were trying to get the votes. Oh, man. Get those crazy fuckers vote. Oh, man. There ain't no youth vote in Springwood. Tell them you'll save a fucking factory or something.

I don't care. Whatever them fuckers fall for. They all went for dole. Anybody close a monnare or what? So Mr. and Mrs. Tom Arnold. That's the only time they've ever been introduced that way, by the way. Not even at their own wedding in probably Vegas. Roseanne Barr and Tom Arnold.

So Mrs. Tom Arnold comes out first and she's wearing like a diner waitress uniform, which was kind of interesting because Roseanne was a waitress at a diner on Roseanne for a while. And she comes up and she's like, oh, kids, we miss kids. she's, like, kissing these actors and stuff. Listen, I mean, you know what? Roseanne's fucking crazy. Like, she's bat-shick crazy now or whatever. But, like, this kind of makes me laugh.

If this is, if this is a laugh. What? No, Roseanne in this movie. Oh, yeah, yeah. Well, she could be a child murderer with this type of conduct. Well, it would be, you know, it's okay for her to do it, but not Jeffrey Jones. What are you talking about? I don't know.

She's kissing kids, and I don't, I don't agree with that. Well, she's kissing, like, 18 years. year old kids. Wait, really? They're 18? They're like 16, 17. Yeah, okay. These actors are about 23.

I guess that's true. I guess you got me on a technicality. That's how Kruger got off. That is true. Yeah, they didn't sign the warrant or something. The papers weren't in order. Steve, what was that movie with them in it that we found on the same? Backfield.

What was it? Backtrack in motion? Backfield in motion. Backfield in motion. And that's like a football movie. football movie that's where people it's i i bought a tape that had baby cakes and backfield in motion on it did you get that in the freddie dimension welcome to hell one of those became a we a movies episode and the other one maybe he's just day tuned yeah who even knows who knows what's going to

is that tape intact steve yeah it is i think so nice the box family heirloom yeah to give it to my grandson uh and then so she's like oh we'll come back home with me i promise i'll do it right this time we won't let him hurt you and then tom arnold runs in wearing this like car salesman suit he walked off to set off the fucking stupid he really does he's kind of wearing a mr stupid hat first of all yeah and he's got a mullet to beat the band did you see the mullet on this guy it's like a fat horse tom arnold stars in fat horse coming to cbs psal 2017, Butterbiscuit. I would watch this movie.

I would watch this movie. I would have kids just to take them to this movie. Oh, man, aren't you guys excited for the season seven premiere of Butterbiscuit? Oh, man. And then the Butter Biscuit made for TV movie Butter Biscuit Call and Escape from the Glu Factory? But it ends with Dustin Hoffman killing Butterbiscuit Jr. Oh, man. grim turn for the butter biscuit. Come on, Butterbiscuit. Now I'm running. I'm betting on you, Butterbiscuit. What do you mean he's dead? Give me another fat fucking horse. Did someone say fat horse?

And the Emmy goes to Nick Anulty for Butterbiscuit. Thank you I guess. Oh man, I want to watch Butterbiscuit. What a great fake show. Arnold call her Ethel in this exchange? Or Ethel or Esther? I think it's Ethel, yeah. Yeah, it made me start thinking of the honeymooners. And Tom Arnold actually has, he has a line that, like, is kind of interesting that they don't do anything with where he's like, you know, get away from those kids, Ethel, you know,

you'll, you'll bring him back or whatever. Him back. Yeah. Yeah. Because here's the fucking thing that they miss with this movie that I've never understood. I've seen this movie quite a few times. I watched it on my personally owned Blu-ray. Oh, nice.

But, like, nobody in this movie ever has to sit the, like, the new characters. Like, the characters who aren't in on it, they never have to sit them down and be like, this is the Freddie Kruger story. All of a sudden, all these people just magically know who Freddie Krueger is. And, like, this is the chance, like, Tom Arnold says that. And then Breck and Myers got to be like, what, buddy, who's he? And then, like, Mr. and Mrs. Tom Arnold recant the tale of Fred Kruger, right? Like, there's your opportunity to do that.

And just everybody just magically, like, I think, like, Lisa Zane is just magically saying Freddie all of a sudden. And everybody knows what she's talking about. I'm sure. I mean, I struggle to keep attention with this movie. I'm sure there was some line where she was like, I read a report on a blank on the who cares. Well, this movie was cut to ribbons, too. You can tell. Oh, right.

parts. It's just like, it just took the scissors gloves to it. That's when they edited this movie, it seems. Yeah. So they go to a high school. This kid has a news clipping with and they meet a teacher who says a lot of annoying rhymes like in 14192.

He's like a psycho that has like a Freddie room where he has all like everything manned down. The worst line in the movie, welcome to Freddie 101. In where this motherfucker doesn't explain shit about Freddie Gruger. Well, but did you read the Black board, where it says that Hiroshima and Nagasaki didn't work, failed to get him.

Failed to get him. Wait, who did they fail to get, Freddie Cruz? Yes. He has this history on the blackboard of all the things where he showed up. Oh, like around like 1930 something, he's spotted in Munich. Dude, I think they blame him for the stock market crash. So he was that guy that bought that painting from Hitler that let him survive the winter? And the nuclear bombs stuff.

He's aligned with the Saxons, the Vikings. Freddie Kruger was hanging out with the Vikings. You know what, man, no. You know what? Why not at this point? But when we were talking about the, not talking about it, it was on the board about the nuclear bombs. Yeah.

Started making me think of in Twin Peaks with Bob. Yeah. In the nuclear, maybe, maybe. This is the water. This is the well. Oh, hey, Fred, how's it going? Got a light. I mean, Fred got a light.

Honestly, Freddy is known for turning into a bug and crawling into someone's mouth. Oh, that is fucking, I think we fucking cracked that season. Dude, that's what Lynch was trying to tell us about the birth of evil, dude. It was all around Fred Krueger. It's all about England. Honestly, if that is the one fucking Freddie Krueger movie, I'll buy a ticket to is David Lynch's Freddy Krueger. Well, you're not getting out alive. You can buy a ticket, but at the end of the movie, the ushers contractually obligated to cut your

throat. Golly, gee, that's creative. What year is it? 1999 for some reason. So this teacher gives them no information. Other than he says Freddie and then this motherfucker, this John Doe

is like, oh, right, Freddy. And then he mentioned something about Freddie having a kid. Yes. So then John Doe is like, oh, this is why he hasn't murdered me yet. I must be his son. Yes. And then

even though, and we should just throw this in now because the movie cuts back to it here and there. Even though there are flashbacks in this movie featuring a blonde little girl and a man whose face you don't see but it's clearly fucking Robert England because you can hear him speaking things but it's muffled

but it's just Robert England and the whole fucking time you're like nope Lisa Zane is the daughter of Fred Krueger. But isn't that supposedly supposed to be Tracy's flashbacks because she's always talking about her daddy? No no no. Well that's that's the confusing part. I think it's

But you just, you see it. We see it anyway. So when this motherfucker is like, oh yeah, I'm Fred Kruger's son, that's why he hasn't killed me. I'm like, no, it's clearly this other woman who we've been seeing have these things. This was a failed red herring. Yeah, exactly right. The original title was daddy shit.

Because the word daddy appears in this movie. Oh, I actually got it. Oh, good. Oh, good. We got a daddy camp, but quickly, did you say daddy shed? Daddy shit. Daddy shit. Okay.

Shit. All right. shit it's a daddy shed so terrible 277148 no i don't have a real one but that's about right they say it so many times daddy this and daddy that we were we were telling chris cabin to get that daddy count and i'm disappointed i watched it before we asked for that well it was on it was on me and it turned out this movie is so brain numbingly terrible i forgot so they wind up uh spencer tracy and Carlos Spencer Tracy

Spencer Tracy Oh wow Better movie Spencer Tracy as Fred Kruger dude Wow that would be great It's a big Kruger

They wind up going to Nancy's house I guess or Fred's house Or somebody's house Well that's what's confusing We're on Elm Street again So we have the whole thing So Lisa has been having these flashbacks

About seeing this water tower From a backyard That's what the animaniacs live That's right Yeah Yako Wacko and Doc come out And get the throats cut by Freddie Kruger Hello nurse But she's having all these flashbacks

She sees the same water tower And John Doe's newspaper clipping that he has And it's this whole thing where she gets to this house And she's like, oh, the water tower I'm here, I'm at this house And then like We know that this is where Fred Kruger lived at one point But then it's also confusingly Nancy's house

From the first movie And never in that first movie is Nancy's alcoholic mother or her father's sheriff John Saxon ever like by the way after we murdered Fred Krueger we bought his house I bought this house for a song it was in a police auction Nancy I bought this house for nothing I'm the sheriff of Springwood baby that is the dropped ball of this whole franchise John Saxon should have been the Loomis every every every movie he pops from in the third movie and he does pop in a new nightmare, but that's it.

Well, the third movie, they kill the character. Which is unfortunately, he should just be like, I want to catch that Fred son of a bitch. Well, he can get his doctorate in the Dreammaster, I guess. Well, that's the thing. Like, end of part three, right? You have Freddy Kill Nancy, but John Saxon survives and saves the day.

Sure. Because, listen, John Saxon will do your movie. Or maybe, like, he gets killed in that third movie, and then I met Jesus, and now I'm a good dream guy. I give you good dreams. He runs the nightmares, but I answer your dreams, baby. Hey, Barry, you're in the NBA again.

Hey, Spencer, another wet one. Hey, Carlos, your dad ain't dead. Who wants to get fucked up at my parents' house? All right. Good dreams all around. There's an annoying scene where there's three teenage outcasts and at-risk youth are three characters here in a van. Two of them get offended when one of them lights a spliff.

Yeah, okay. Okay. Whatever you say, dare to keep kids off drugs. And then Carlos has a map mare where it just says you're fucked. It's like a nightmare about maps. He falls asleep in the back of the van. Like, hey, Carlos, check the map. Where are we going?

And it's like he keeps opening this folded map. And then like the back of the van is filled with a map. And then he, yeah, he opens one side of it. It just says you're fucked, which is kind of a funny line. It's fine. So they wind up going to this house on Elm Street, but it's weird they walk kind of past it. It looks like they're going adjacent to Elm Street. Because the way the shot is framed is like, you see the sign as is Elm Street and they walk past it.

They're not on it. You've got to turn left on Elm Street, pal. Now you're on fucking Franklin. Oh, man, a nightmare on Franklin. That's a whole different. I can't do anything to you. You're on Franklin Avenue. Cross the street, please.

I'm waiting. Oh, you know, you want to turn left. Left on Franklin, go around. No, no, no. I see what you've been saying, and now you're going to hit that cul-de-sac. Oh, yep, there's the cul-de-sac. He's dressed as a crossing guard because it's a fucking stupid movie. Check your MapQuest. Oh, man, MapQuest.

Oh, you know what you've got to do now. Okay, turn. Proceed to the route. Man, proceed to the route is the most frustrating dipshit GPS instruction of all time. So Carlos goes to sleep first. He's like, oh, man, I'm tired. I want to sleep with this fucking crack house. Sure, Carlos.

He goes to sleep. He does have a hearing aid. He gets, like, haunted by the grandmother from the exorcist, you know? Like, just like, oh, mama, don't make me deaf. I'm like, wait, what happened? So basically, like, this is the part that, this is the one part that's like, whoa, this is too much. This is effective. But this isn't what kills him, though.

This woman puts a huge Q-tip into his ear and pulls it through which is kind of yeah no it's wild and then he has to pull it back out the other side man

and it takes forever and it's actually this is part of like okay this is kind of creepy well also the spider ears are also troubling to me oh so then yeah he goes outside

Freddy's like here's your hearing aid back sorry to fuck with your disability and it like latches on to me you know what it's like fucking uh so it's like it's like it's like the scene with checkoff in wrath of con where the fucking earworm like goes in him yeah that's what this hearing aid always reminded me of and it like latches onto this dude's head and it's like an ultra hearing aid and of course

here comes fucking bugs bunny in his red and green sweater and he pulls out a chalkboard and starts like grinding it with his claw hand and it makes his head explode which is pretty fun but this is what's annoying though because like there's also the most part pin drop. Oh, the pin drop right. Yeah, that happens and it sounds like an explosion. My whole thing, though, and this is what started it in this movie, me thinking this. In previous movies, especially in the first one, though, like, when you had stuff done to you in the dream world, that's what happened to you, like, outside, right? In this movie, especially when we get to what happens to Breck and Meyer, like, they're just kind of disappearing. Yes.

And it's like, no, no. He's taking their souls like Shangsoon in nowhere. I need to see this dude's head explode in real life. By the third one, the mythology was so fucking, like, just tarned. Like, there's no logic to it whatsoever at this point. And at this, I mean, like, the sole thing is so, because even the deaths get, like, so much worse. This, I think, is the only good one. Yeah, this is the only good death in the movie.

I agree with that. Yeah, it's not bad. And so this happens. And then, like, somehow he winds up in a television. Well, Breck and Myers gets stoned. Right. And falls asleep in front of a television. And then we start playing Inogata de Vedia, which, uh-uh.

No, can't do it, man. This, the obnoxious, the obnoxious, uh, association, uh, with, of, of, of, of, of, of, of, of psychedelia. Yeah. Fucking just learn a thing about fucking anything when you write a movie. Smoke a goddamn joint. Like, seriously, all this like, hippie-dippy, liva lamp shit starts going on on this television in the Garden of Eden starts playing.

And I'm like, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope. And so then it's like, he gets pulled into this thing. Oh, wrong. Sorry. Oh, I have to be in a much better movie. Across town. Where's the tiger? Oh, man.

Where to go? So Breckenmeyer then is the next, like, victim of Fred Kruger. This takes forever. We start to, he starts, like, moving, like, it turns into fucking Nick Arcade for dummies. Yep. Oh, big time. It's big time Nick Arcade. Like, he's in this video game.

And, like, I don't think at any point prior to this, we're, told that this character enjoys video games. He's playing video games in the first scene. Is he? He's got like a Game Boy or something. Oh, or like one of those cheap Tiger games? Yes, it might be a Tiger Dealey. So yeah, it's like Freddy's playing like this other thing and controlling him. It is fucking stupid.

And then he starts bouncing around the house. He's bouncing around like a Chinese vampire. He's doing the Mario turn to the Chinese vampire. Hey, you know what? Look it up. I guess I will. Just look up Chinese vampire mythology. No, you're not talking about Ferat, the car vampire.

No, no, I'm not. No, that's Czech vampire. Okay, the war cars. I didn't know Ferrat was a low rider so he can bounce like that. Cool. No, yeah, he's bouncing. He's doing the marriage. Doot, do, do, do, do, do.

And they're all watching him in the non-dream world, like, bounce around this house. Nobody bothers to try to, like, shake him awake. Get a bucket away. water. Exactly. Kick him in the nuts. No, they say that he's too stone to be woken up. Again. So fucking stupid. Somebody please smoke a joint. Somebody smoke a joint. Don't. If you do, you get killed by Frederick Kruger. Or and you don't even, you get like just thrown, he just jumps into hell. Well, that's no, it's 10

minutes for him to fucking fall down the stairs. Because it takes forever because basic, yeah, Freddy's like, this really like shitty cartoon is beating him up. One looks like his dad. And he's, He gets all these puns like, now I'm playing with power. Yeah, he sure does. Power glove thing. He's doing well for a while because kids are better at video games than old people. Right.

Yes. But yeah, then he gets the power glove out, which is a really stupid joke. It's a joke that ages so well. Yeah, because it's like his, do you know this about Fred, Freddie Kruger? He's got that like glove with the knives. Yeah, I heard about that. Get this, dude. Little buttons on there now.

It's a power glove. God, that's dumb. He should have killed Lucas from the wizard. Should have, would have prevented all sorts of troubles. I wonder if he's like Freddy Kruger now. I love the raccoon suit. What is it turn into a statue? Who cares?

Fuck, fuck. That's just him like falling up a glass. He's just like really upset. Okay, well, I guess there's no rules then. I guess there's just no rules to anything here. I guess that just doesn't happen. Well, speaking of no rules, this is exactly what happens, though, because he, like, pushes him down the stairs, and then, like, the floor at the bottom of the stairs in this house opens, and this kid just falls in it, and that's the last you see of it. He goes to hell, yeah.

I mean, it's not even, it's not a good death. It's just not even a, and it takes forever. Yes, it's like, it's a 10 minute sequence. At this point, death two of three, by the way. Thanks a lot, sequel. Both John Doe and Tracy go into the dream to rescue him. Tracy gets out, John does not. they're like oh we just have to get him out of the town we should be all right so they're yes they're driving him out of the town freddie's going after him this is when freddie mortal combats this kid which is pretty cool um he throws him out it's the house flying again he chucks him out to which this actor by the way has a line right here where he's like boy am i getting sick of this house and i was like so are we and he's like it's fine but like at the same time like he's got this parent

and it's just a Bugs Bunny gag because Freddy is the fucking parachute. And they didn't even like do a puppet parachute, which could have been fun. No, it's just like, Robert Anglin hanging on the inside of a parachute. I'm surprised you can't see the guy's holding him. And, you know, he's like, oh, well, you can't kill me because I'm your son. He's like, no, you're not. And then he pulls out a thing of spikes and does like, I'm waiting gag. Yeah.

Oh, man, he's tapping his toe. And he does, we don't see him go through the spikes, which is an, unfortunate because I wanted to see that. But you do see all this like blood, these squibs kind of, you know. Well, yeah, we cut to the real world and all of a sudden he's got, he, he dies the way you're supposed to die in this franchise. But then when he expires, he just like turns to starlight and his fucking soul goes away. Yeah, I mean.

And you see it like going to Freddy's chest and he's like, ooh, you're someplace now. Yeah, I mean, like, that's a thing in the later movies is you get to be part of my nipples, which I never really got. Oh, yeah, dude. Actually, if you go to the Museum of the Moving Image... What? You're part of my nipples.com? No.

Don't do not go there. It's full of malware. If you go to the Museum of the Moving Image in Queens, in one of their exhibitions, there is the model that they shot the chest with all the fucking soul faces coming out of it. You can just go see that. That's kind of fun.

It's pretty cool. It's huge. I'm sure they'll appreciate. me vomiting on it. It's bigger than you. Shuckle vomit. So this kid's dead and it's supposed to be like the shocker of the movie. But now Freddie is released because he goes inside Lisa and he leaves

Ohio Springwood Limits and he goes to a different district which has been gerrymandered I believe. God damn gerrymandered. Time to disillusion some black folks. And he's fucking you missed the voting deadline what's that no three forms of identification he has a fucking a horrible line right here where he like that that is it's too real that's how terrifying

that sequence was he steps out of like uh storm doors of a basement and like walks out and he just goes hmm it's traveling time and then does like a fist in the air thing and just like dissolves into the real world? It's like when Mega Man beats Knife Man. He had to get his power from the stars again. Knife Man, was that one of them? I think. Sharp man, I don't know. Is that the Freddie Krueger one?

Quick Man, torpedo man, woodman. Hey, I'm Knife Man. I got a bunch of knives. Yeah, oh, take that, Mega Man. Actually, a nightmare on Elm Street might be called Knife Man in Italy. Hey, I'm a knife man. I hang out. by the garbage and I stab people. Oh, look at that.

Your robot dog friend. Stab, stab. I'm looking up Knife Man because I need to know. You're going to get something darker than any of that. Nice man. So when they get back, they go back to the institution, Maggie, and what's the other woman's name? Tracy. Tracy.

They go back to the institution and like Yafat Koto, the Ombi. obese administrator guy. None of these people remember the people who are dead now. No, yeah, which is something that comes to nothing. I mean, part of the great part of that first movie was like, oh, the police think the boyfriend is the murderer. Yeah.

There's like, you could got, you know what? Hey, hey, people making movies. You could bring in the real world and that type of consequences and give the franchise some weight. Exactly. Because three kids are missing now. Yeah. Lisa Zane would be fucking, she'd be like on the cover of the news.

man she'd be like fucking Ted Kaczynski dude well exactly and that's what I didn't remember by the way I rewatched this

today for this but I also rewatched it like two weeks ago when we decided to do this as an episode like kind of on accident but it had been a while

since I'd seen it but before you know so I'm watching it and she goes back to this administrator and I was like boy is her goose cooked oh three missing kids

you're totally fucked and then they just start doing this like I don't remember these people thing and it's like what are you what are you doing well on the other side of that like

it's a huge device to create a town where all the kids are dead and all the people are crazy. And they kind of don't use it at all except for that one scene. Yeah. And it doesn't add anything to the movie whatsoever. This could have just been a kid who was homeless and fucking wandered into the place. Yeah. And that would have been fine. That would have been kind of cool because it's like, oh, there's a kid in town. You know what I mean? Yeah. You know, something like that. Sure. It's kind of cool. Yeah. I mean, there's a lot of ideas. So at this point, just none of them made it inside this movie we we learn explicitly that maggie is actually freddie's

daughter we get a lot of this turns into fucking being freddie malcovich for a long time we're like it's just sort of going inside of his brain we see like the evolution of freddie like him as a kid him taking a hammer to that gerbil in class by the way also we should mention you know how right into the movie's mailbag up here to gerbil in class oh i don't want to hear from those people. I know you're out there. But right in if it was a hamster. I mean, this might have been a hamster. What's the difference? Chris Cabin? I do not know.

One of them you put up your ass and one you don't. Hey, it's me. It's a knife man. You stab them both. They both go down quickly. Won't even charge you for these. Hey, Mega Man. What is that? Polish? Mega Man

Inski. We see all this shit, by the way, because Yafet Koto tells her, okay, I believe you about these people, I don't remember. Put on these 3D glasses and, quote, go inside his brain. Yeah. Okay, you know what, everybody?

Whatever, whatever the fuck ever. And she winds up, we learn all this stuff. He's being made fun of at school because he's the son of a hundred maniacs. his father is the abusive monster played by Alice Cooper Sir Alice Cooper Excuse me

And he's like whipping him with the belt And this like nerdlinger teenage Freddy Kruger is doing like Thank you sir, may I have another I guess this kid predicted animal house Was gonna happen? I think that was the idea Okay

Yeah I think that was the idea And then they show him like cutting himself And it's just like come on guys Nobody, you know what, nobody cares. If you're a kid cutting yourself, you're not becoming Freddie Kruger. Yeah. I don't want to get those kids hopes up. That they will become a eternal demon with knife hands.

It's not going to happen. And more of the daddy shit. So like we finally re-see that scene of her as a little girl, like, looking. And like she's dressed as the kid now for somebody enjoyed that, you know. Yeah, somebody's jerked. freaking off to something. Well, I think it's also, it's like, you know what? Are they going to get it that this little girl is also this character?

Better just dress this adult up like a baby. She looks like a fucking league of their own at this point. Fucking Madonna comes out and hits Freddie with a baseball bat. They cool. And then you see like Freddie Kruger like murdering the mother, like beating the shit out of her. Because this woman, so Freddie Kruger's wife, Maggie's biological mother, her given name is Catherine, by the way, Catherine Krueger. Oh.

And she notices Freddie, like, beating the shit out of her because this woman stumbled on Freddy's, like, secret shit. Dead child collection. That he left in the basement of their own home. You know what, Freddie, two words, storage facility. It's in the basement, but it's in, like, a back area. It's a man cave. Freddie Krueger has a man cave in this.

Oh, yikes. It's just a hole loosely covered with rubble in a chair. It's a bunch of dead kids, a really good lazy boy, a big screen TV. Adam Carolla's there. It's awesome. You're not going to let her come into your man cave, are you? Ah, geez. Hey, Fred, you got any Mexicans in this man cave or what?

Does Knife Man count? No. I told you I'm Italian. So quit mixing them up. Well, actually, it's a good thing that this takes. place in Ohio because if if Suffy and Stevens ever finished his like musical estate thing

he would have done a Freddie Krueger thing like that could have been true you know to look underneath the floorboards you know that's so whatever they start having like this face off thing and it's basically it's the same thing as most of these movies like pull them out of the dream world we always have to learn this lesson

every single time well we do learn about the fucking demon people which we do need to get into the fish team fucking crazy and stupid and like it's one of those things like why it wasn't this in every movie you know and it's just it comes to nothing really like the dream people gave me this job yes the quote the dream people gave me this job and I just had to pause it and I went outside I took a walk around the block and then I came back to finish this movie because holy cow what a stupid line so was he okay looking for work yeah it turned out he got fired for being a janitor dude because he murdered all those kids.

Even in death, there's capital. Okay, so he was making that deal during the fire that killed him. Yes, because they show that literally. The fire's coming. And then he's like stupid, like, I don't even know. Fish sperm. Money for nothing, but fish for free fucking video comes out.

It's like, it's like a skeleton skull that's got, that's like mixed with a sperm. Yep. Yes. It's like the mask sperm. Yeah. Exactly. And it's like shimmering.

and they're cackling too yeah they're talking they're like yo dude you want to get out it's pretty hot in here and he's like yeah I know you know what would cool you off killing some kids hey we like your style now here's the deal

you're immortal forever but you gotta stay in your hometown you can't cross town line that's my dream job now here's a book of 2001 puns now go on you Mary way.

You got to take some groundlings classes before you can I mean you're very good we love the killing but you're just not that funny man. Work at the same bar

every Tuesday and Thursday uh towny yeah so I mean the dream people go into him and the dream people

yeah sorry yeah he has a conversation Yafit Koto kind of beats the shit out of him in like Yafit Koto has a dream yeah he goes in

to see he's like he's like you know what I have to see for myself, Yafat Koto, if this is bullshit. His character's name is Doc, by the way. Nice, nice. And so, yeah, he, like, does his own little dream meditation and just whoops this dude's ass, that's great.

Well, yeah, all this power he has to control his dreams and everything. He is, he's like, Dr. Dream. Oh, man, Dr. Dream. And he didn't, no, no, there should be more of him. He's a really cool character. Yep. Dude, I say this about every movie. There should be more Yafet Koto.

He's got the 4-1-1 on the Dream. people. Nobody else does. I forgot. Oh, the dream people. And yeah, so now it's the final show done. The sunglasses are on. This was a 3D movie. So this was like, I think a, now everybody put on your 3D glasses.

It was. And what's interesting is when I bought this series the first time on standard definition DVD, it came with 3D glasses. Much like the Friday the 13th series does. But for this series, they were like in the Blu-ray release. which the Friday Blu-ray still has the 3D shit gives you the option to watch it. This franchise was like, you know what?

That's really stupid. We're not providing you with any glasses. We're not giving you the option to turn it on to 3D. And because they do do this thing where it's like, all right, we go down to the armory because it's a bunch of bad kids and they kind of set it up like, oh, there's an armory of all the confiscated shit.

And they're like, what about this incredibly long bat? How about these throwing stars? How about this? pipe bomb. Yeah, that's a bit weird. Yeah, it's like, what is this? The, what is this, the Atlanta Olympics? Oh, wow.

I mean, maybe. He honestly, on that blackboard, he might have been, they might have chocked him up to it. What was that, 96? 96. Oh, wait, wait, but this takes place in the future. So, yeah, that's right. That's right. So Breck and Meyer definitely threw a pipe bomb at the Olympics.

This, that's a, it's a bullshit thing in the beginning of the movie where the, like, the hospital administrator is like I found this pipe bomb on him don't let this happen again and Breck and Meyer is like oh I was trying to teach the other kids self-defense or something like that it's like hey police department yes exactly

we've got ourselves another Mr. McVeigh yeah totally we'd like to report a domestic terrorist it's insane that they were just not think that's a big deal no no there's one line where Freddie, after he's like dragged into the real world or whatever, he's like, I forgot how much it hurts to be

human. Oh, God. What, since like two movies ago when this exact thing happened? Yeah, totally. Isn't that the first movie ends, right? He gets pulled into the real world. Yeah, he does. And then she, Nancy, learns that like, the way to defeat him is to like literally turn your back on him. Yeah, that's right.

So why don't we just do that again? No. No. This time you have to beat him up. She's just kind of beating the shit out of him. Yeah, and I mean, it's kind of boring, honestly. Well, we get to the grossest part of this movie, though, because so they're giving her all these weapons

and she's like throwing shit at him. This is Lisa Zane's character, Maggie. It was like Galgado by the way. Anybody else get that? She kind of does, yeah. So she's like, you know, she takes the, you know, like there's like a piece of, there's like a knife or something. She sticks him to like a board

puts this pipe like in his stomach and basically just starts pinning him to this wall the ninja star and so on and then she grabs his glove and he's like put it on and i'm like yeah that's kind of weird and then he goes and everybody at home get the barf bag ready uh-huh chuckle vomit let your daddy show you how to use it i mean like the word daddy in this movie i'm not even telling it's just like it's crazy man it's disgusting because the other girl we have her her nightmare which we're not going to get into her her dad is played by fucking donkey lips it looks like and he it's just like this like weird molestation scene where it does not

fit it doesn't fit this movie at all it looks like real life carl from aquatine and it's just like this isn't even in the movie and it doesn't even end in her death because this movie has like a really low body count it's actually got the this there's three There's three. Three deaths. Yeah. So, like, there's, it's not even a fun death.

It's not funny. It's not fun. And she's barely a character. So let's leave child molestation out of it. And it's just like, you know, you got any honey for daddy? Yeah. And I'm like, this is a different movie. This is a totally different movie, possibly starring Kevin Bacon.

In better days, we'd call this a shelved movie. I mean, it's nuts that this part is in here. And then, like, that dude, by the way, goes from donkey, lips back to Freddy Krueger. Sure. And it's like, oh, all right. And he kind of like makes some crass comment. And I was like, no, not now. Now's not the time, Freddie Kruger.

Oh, sorry. I never know the line. No, no, literally. I'm sorry. I apologize. Oh, shit. I'm in with the Dream Peaceful's HR department. I'll see you. I don't know. Next dream. My apologies. Figure this out. It was really fucked up. And the Dream people

understand they fucked up too. They fired me once and then secretly hired me back a month later. Really fucked up. Really fucked up. I'm on 40 day probation. So then like she sticks that, whatever,

she sticks the pipe bomb in his chest. He fucking explodes. Well, she sticks it and she goes Happy Father's Day or Father's Day. Yeah, happy Father's Day gives him a big kiss and then she runs away. Oh, man. By the way, the other thing going on in this scene that's awesome is Yafet, Toto's spending 15 minutes trying to rip a door off a wall.

Awesome. He does triumphantly at the end, which is beautiful to watch. Perfect timing, by the way, to rip this door off. And then, you know, he goes, kids. And explodes. They do this dumb-ass thing where his face, like, go, he's coming at you. Like, 3D coming at you. And then the ghost sperms come out.

The dream people, yeah. And then they're just like, well, what do you guys want to do now? I don't know. Let's go to the bar. it's so they're just like swimming around and then like they shoulder shrug and go away did you notice what happened the cliffhanger here they possess knife man hey i'm just sitting by the garbage looking to somebody to step oh hey dream people yeah sure yeah get in my chest fucking feel them swirling around in there it's a little a little unnerving stab stab knife man no i don't want your wallet stab stair step step there step there

I like that idea. Yeah. I like that idea as a dream. And then like they're like, the three of them are just laughing. Like we did it. And then Lisa Zane just goes, Freddy's dead. Credit it. Then we get the montage of all the better kills that weren't in this movie.

Yep, that's exactly right. While Iggy Pop fucking Blair's, holy shit. Yeah, I didn't see that coming. Freddy's theme for this sung by Iggy Pop. second movie this year that I saw for the first time that had an Iggy Pop over the credits. One was good time and then this

which was the better time. Was a good time? It was a good time. It's a dumb thing speaking of clips from other movies and other movies in this franchise the one thing we didn't mention and it doesn't matter. But when Breck and Meyer is like watching TV

for a second, the channel changes and it's Johnny Depp doing a this is your brain on drugs commercial and Freddie hits him in the face with a frying pan oh biting yet West Craven was too timid to ask him to be a new nightmare that's just a joke from new nightmare

we don't know what the deal is there also he's hilariously credited as Oprah noodle mantra in that movie of course he is because you know what like anybody was fucking confused as to whether or not that was Johnny Depp he was Jared Letoing before Jared Leto

Gerald Lettoe I think he was setting people rats and shit. Oh, wow. He sent Robert England a box of used condoms. You know,

and you know, the new Blade Runner is getting a lot. It's actually at this Friday. Go see it. He's getting a lot of good reviews. And, you know, I'm curious, is there going to be a Jared Lederless cut?

You know what I mean? Like the first Blade Runner had a bunch of different cuts. There was five different cuts. Every, there will be eventually. Every review I've read of it so far has ended, despite Jared Letto being in it. But guys,

he made himself actually blind for the movie. Oh, that's, that's fantastic. Imagine Robert England made himself actually dead for this movie? He set himself on fire. These scars are real. Did you notice Carlos one of the minions of Biff

from back to the future? Oh, yes. Oh, he's the dude in part two. Yeah. That he, he, someone says something about chicken. Folks don't work on water? Yes, that's that dude. Griff Tannen. Yeah. It's grif tannin.

henchman. If we're talking about Carlos's illustrious career, please do. He's also in the Kramer going to California episode as like the Manson type of guy. Oh, Kramer Man. He is a knife man. He's got a knife man. And then he said, what do you think, Jr.? You think these

hands have been soaking in ivory liquids, man? Wow, good pull. That's amazing. Thank you everyone. Man, this movie fucking stinks. Would anybody recommend it? It's not funny. It's not fun. It's not scary. Yeah. No. There's like

fucking seven movies in here and none of them are good. Yeah. No, just watch the first one. Yeah. Watch the first one and done. I would also recommend two and three, but that's where I draw the line. But yeah, one's an excellent movie. This is trash. Watch that fat horse sitcom that we thought of. What do we call it? Butter biscuit. Butter, butter, butter, biscuit, yeah. I mean, if they didn't do the C-Busket joke in Bo Jack Horseman, they could have on Butterbiscuit. It would have been great. It would have been great to have Butterbiscuit the show because it would be better than this. This is not a movie. It's barely a movie. It's a shell of things that sort of look like a movie. It's like four different screenplays and none of them.

And you know what? When Peter Jackson writes a script for your fucking fifth sequel to a franchise, just use it. Just use it. The problem is they might have watched one of his movies. Oh, his like pre-L-O-T-R movies. Well, I mean, yeah, this is probably coming off of dead alive. You think that's where the fucking fish people came from? I like, I like puppets. First things first. It'll be scary puppets.

A couple of feebles. Oh man, Freddy turns into a fable. The scene with her finding him killing her, that was very Jackson-esque. I think they definitely did pilfer a few things. I'm going to sue you. Oh shit, my contract

said they could use it. Hey, Sean, get in here. Oh, they're going to give me LOTR? Well, fine. I guess. Bob plays ball. All right, Jay, you owe me nine hours of film. Oh, wait, wrong.

Make it twill. That's Freddy's Dead, the final nightmare directed by Rachel Tallulay. If you want more WHM, check out WHMpodcast.com. Or find us over on the headgum network or check out our Patreon. Patreon. dot com slash we hate movies. Like us on Facebook and follow us on Twitter. We are at W.HM

podcast, of course, and right into that mailbag we all hate movies at gmail.com. Rate and review the show wherever you get it. We would greatly appreciate it. Remember, Los Angeles this weekend, we are at L.A. Podfest. Do not slouch on getting those passes. LAPodfest.com for more information. And of course, the spooktacular rolls on.

It rolls on in a big, bad way. Next week, we are continuing our horror movie marathon with what is it now? Dr. Giggles. Oh, shit. And Eric Siska Selects. Physician heal thyself. Ooh.

Yeah. So until next week with Dr. Giggles, I'm Andrew Jupin. Naifeman. Chris Capon. Eric Kruger. See you later. We all go a little mad sometimes. You know, it's Halloween.

I guess everyone's a title of one good. scare them. Sometimes dead is better. Zombies have entered the building. They're at the door. They're coming in! It is time to keep your appointment with the Wicca Man. They're coming to get you, Barbara.

These sick fucks using one too many movies. Now, Sid, don't you blame the movies? Movies don't create psychos. Movies don't create psychos. Movies make psychos more creative. Put the fucking looser in the bathroom. It was an excellent day for an exorcism. That was a hate gum podcast.