We Hate Movies - S8 Ep321: Episode 321 - Scream 2

Episode Date: October 17, 2017

On this week's episode, the gang goes back to Craven Country to discuss the bloated sequel, Scream 2! What's with all the emotional scenes reuniting characters from the first movie? How are we supposed to believe that Laurie Metcalf lifted Jamie Kennedy up off the ground? And why does David Warner insist on this college theater production continue despite the multiple murders? PLUS: Terminator 2: Budnick Day! Scream 2 stars Neve Campbell, Courteney Cox, Laurie Metcalf, Jamie Kennedy, Jerry O'Connell, Timothy Olyphant, Liev Schreiber, Omar Epps, Jada Pinkett Smith, Sarah Michelle Gellar, and Duane Martin; directed by Wes Craven. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Now on today's program, the Halloween spooktacular rolls on with a film that I've seen a lot of times. It's Scream, too. I'm Andrew Jupin. Stephen Sadek. Chris Kevin. Eric Siska. And we hate movies. We all go a little mad sometimes.

You know, it's Halloween. I guess everyone's a title of one good scare. Sometimes. That is murder. Zombies have entered the building. They're at the door. They're coming in. It is time to keep your appointment with the Wicca Land.

They're coming to get you, Barbara. He's sick for fucks. He's seen one too many movies. Now, Sid, don't you blame the movies? Movies don't create psychos. Movies make psychos. More creative! Put the fucking lotion in the back.

What an excellent day for an exorcism. Hello, everyone. Welcome to We Hate Movies. Hello. Thank you for tuning in, as always, as I grab my notes here. You're welcome. I'm listening. You know what?

Thanks for showing up to my house, you fucking deadbeats. We're all ready for you. We're listening to the show. Can you start? Good God. When does the good stuff start? Eric's being a real pushy bitch this is. I just.

trying to listen to we hate movies. How many times do I have to push this 15 second button here? Shit. Oh, shit. What if you push the 17 second button now and we haven't even recorded yet? Where does it take you? It moves us forward 15 seconds in time. Oh, shit.

Then you have to like start pressing pieces of light to talk to your daughter or something. Oh, we are like five pages away from a real bad script treatment. Oh, absolutely. Hey, speaking to a real bad script treatment. Skip ahead. Right. We got to the movie. This is the podcast movie.

Copyright. So, yeah, this is from 1997, of course, directed by Wes Craven. He directed all these movies. The late great, man. Lake great, dude. Not so great here. Not entirely his fall, but we can get into it. So this is, of course, the sequel to the smash hit scream.

This movie actually came out less than a year after the first one. That's kind of trouble. Stupid. That's what that is. That's insane. Audiences could have waited till you figured it out a little more. In 1998, people would still remember what's. scream was.

Yeah. Especially because then three didn't come out to like 2000. And the video market back in those days you'd wait like a year. Well, no,

literally I remember getting my VHS copy of Scream and it had the trailer for the next movie on. No, did it really? It really did, yeah. Oh, that's stupid, maybe that was the goal.

Maybe that was the goal to get the trailer on the VHS. That's true because I remember there was especially like call it like, stay tuned after the movie for the trailer to scream too.

No. I might be making that up, but somebody else verify me on the internet. I might be making that up after I said off. 6-9-4-9-66. Oh shit, search it up, dude. Yep, verified. Just enter it, man.

All you got to do is enter it. You can just put a verifact on anything. Wait, what is that? You referenced that a while ago, and I just laughed politely. It's a failing website. Yes. Where they catalog facts, quote, unquote. You see, in the era of fake news, one site decides to give you true news,

and it turns out it's full of false news. It's verified opinions. But the way that they do it is they put a verit code on each fact that you get. That's right. It's not fake news. It's false news. So you can track it and you could just like, oh, what? If Chris, what came up to me was like, oh, do you hear that, you know,

there's a huge earthquake in Chile? And I'm like, oh, my God, that sounds terrible. What's the verit code on that there, Chris? If you didn't say anything, I'd put you in jail. Well, that sounds like a fruitless endeavor. Speaking of fruitless endeavors, scream too, we start out. with a young couple going to the movies and what are they going to see you guys

stab oh shit man can you get any more fucking meta can we get into this though because here's the thing in the world of scream in the world of scream it's just a small town that was racked by tragedy

wherein like eight kids died or slaughtered slaughtered and then a trashy tell all book came out and that happens a lot and then like this movie comes out and it's not like... Are you saying you didn't go see Columbine the motion picture a year later?

Yeah, exactly. In 1999, and I didn't dress up like Dylan and Eric go in the theater like, here we go. Here we go. That's the thing. It's like it's something like elephants, fine. But imagine elephant directed by

Sean Cunningham. Like, that's what they're suggesting this would be. But it's so stupid. And everyone's dressed up like fucking twin towers on fire. Like, yeah, man. Simon West's United 93.

I went as the plane. But it's so dumb. Like, yeah, I can see, you know, at the opening of Nightmare and Elm Street to Freddy's Revenge or, you know, the third Jason movie or the fourth Jason movie, right? So, like, the hockey mask has had a movie to establish itself. Then you're coming in costume. Otherwise, what are we doing? You're dressing like a fucking known murderer is what you're doing. And they mention in the fucking movie that, like, the film company is giving these things out.

what are you trying to set up here film studio a big problem you're going to have yourself a big problem lawsuits upon lawsuits this must have happened though right like like someone definitely killed someone wearing the scream costume is there any is there any verit fact on that or what let me check it out i'll text peter down i feel like that happened or something or like there was a fear that this was going to happen and then a scream three was actually they wound up taking a lot of violence out of it because Columbine just happened. And they're like, hey, let's kind of tone this down a little bit. But it doesn't make any sense.

Yeah, in the world, it makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. And the idea that everyone is so callous in this world, like, that never happens. And everyone, like, in this movie is like, oh, cool, do you hear that chick just died? Like, yeah, people are callous, but not right next door. People are doing back flips and, like, throwing shit to each other at the premiere of this horror movie. about a real-life massacre. That nobody has seen yet. Nobody knows anything about it.

Dude, the costume design is so cool. Come on. Don't you want to dress as the stabber? Or it's called stab. In the world of scream, it's not ghost face. It's the stabber. It's the stab guy. Knife man.

Oh, man, it is Knife Man. And it's presented in Stabovision, which is just black light. Yeah. Yeah, that's fucking cheap. That's really cheap, dude. The masks and, like, the little knives that they give, like, glow in the dark. So the Stabavivision has nothing to do with the movie Stab whatsoever. It's just the experience of being in the fucking theater.

But it's clearly, like, stab is on the screen. Well, yeah, you're watching the movie, and it feels like your eyes are being stabbed. So that's why it's stab. You're constantly going to be dragged away from the fucking movie screen. My gross confusion at this stunt forced me to rudely interrupt. Steve. So what were you saying? No, just that in the world of the movie, imagine, you know, that this thing happens. Then you get like

10 months of like footage about like, and like specials about like how these kids were obsessed with horror movies. Yeah. And their reality button was off of their VCRs or whatever nonsense that like Mori Povich and you know, Diane Sawyer, who's mentioned my name in this movie.

Fuck you, Raleigh, fuck you. Roldo Rivera, all those scumbags come out and do all this shit. And then this movie comes out giving out costumes and fake knives to a bunch of students. Yeah, that would blow up in these people's faces and that film company would fail. And also, like, why is there no story about after this, like, oh, that movie was pulled from theaters after the massacre at the movies? Well, that's right. Like, oh, we had this like secret premiere or whatever and then like two people got murdered

at the movie theater. Um, killing the theatrical release of this. Oh, yeah. Oh, murdered in the same way that people in the movies were by a guy in the same mask maybe this was a bad idea. Got to push forward marketing man get Tori Spelling on the Who Gives a Shit Show. Welcome back to the Who Gives a Shit Show with Tori Spelling.

Tori Spelling is playing the Nev Campbell character in Stab like it's some deep shit dude. The weird thing is like this movie loves to like talk out of both sides of its mouth and like half of it is like oh my God kids today in the violence. can you believe it?

Could you believe these sick people? Can you fucking... You know in horror movies? Black people are just maligned. And all they do is they're just fodder. And then they like do exactly the same thing. And it's also doing like... It's like the most passively software movie in the history of time.

Like all they do is kind of vaguely reference the fact that they know it's a sequel. And then they don't do like anything visual with it. They don't like heighten it more than it has to be. why you like this didn't need a sequel because the first movie like that stuff all plays because it's just the one layer of the self-referential whatever now it's like we're going down this fucking endless rabbit it's like it's like when you're in a bathroom and you're looking at the mirror and there's also a mirror behind you yeah and it just goes like that that's what this is like developing though like not only do we all watch horror movies we all watch sequels also

this horror movie in real life happen in the world of the movie. And watch your ass. And watch your ass, man. Watch it. Watch that ass. I do. Someone's making a real life sequel, Eric. Oh my lord. Really? Yeah. Do you think that's how they felt during World War II?

Here we go again. You're not going to believe this. Well, you know, the stakes were higher. It's true. It was an accurate sequel. All right. There's only one. There's three rules about surviving a world. War, okay?

Just imagine. No, no, no. I don't know. It's Churchill. It's Gary Oldman in a fan suit. Man, that movie looks stupid. Yeah.

We'll see. I'm pretty sure. Everybody I talk to says he's going to win a fucking award for that shit. I'm going to do a lot of business with that movie, so I think it's totally fine. Oh, yeah? And I bet, I bet actually he's good in it.

Yeah. That's all I've heard is. Yeah, Steve. I didn't get to see it. Is this the Churchill you want to die on? Are you sure you don't want to die on Brian Cox instead? So they go. You got your pick?

Oh, I would definitely die on Brian Cox. That movie's fucking terrible. You saw? Yeah. Yeah, his Churchill movie, it's like a fucking poorly made TV movie. That's awesome. It's pathetic. You know what?

At least you had the guts to be fat. Pun intended. That is true. I don't like how Gary Oldman's co-opting culture. He should have just ate a bunch of pies like Christian Bales doing. Get fat the old-fashioned way. Pies.

Fruit pie, meat pie, cream pie, fat as fuck pie. That's how I did it. So, Jada Pinkett Smith does not want to go to the movie. No, Omar Epps does. She wants to see the new... Sandra Bullock movie. Sandy. She brings up like, oh man, there's no black people in this movie.

He's like, what do you want to go movie full of black people? And I'm like, well, that'd be nice. Or maybe they could survive more than 10 minutes. Yeah, that'd be nice. That would be cool. Like, that's the interesting thing to do there, right? Like, have them talk about the trend that everybody knows. Yeah.

And then Bucket. Yeah. You know what I mean? And just, like, make them characters. That's why. Or at least one of them gets away maybe, like Jada Pinkett Smith's in the rest of your movie. That's fine. Yeah, exactly.

I mean, that's why the, I mean, we can get into this as it, as it, you know, unfolds, But, like, this movie suffered... I guess it must have been one of the first ever leaked scripts to the internet. And so when it leaked, they changed a bunch of shit. And one of the things that was originally in the movie is that one of the killers was Neve Campbell's roommate, who's a black girl. Yeah. Hallie is the name of the matter.

So, like, buck that shit right there and keep that in. You know, I think you made this joke off the air, but it was like 1997. How many people the internet read it? 500? Less than. Not even. Like, you can't even share that. Who cares?

Like, you're going to email it to somebody. It's going to take them five days to print it. And get it a dot matrix printer. And it's certainly not going to sway your box office. That's not. No one gives a shit. No one fucking cares about reading scripts. Some people do.

But they're still going to go see the movie. Of course they are. So who cares? Yeah. No, it was a boneheaded move and they changed a bunch of shit. And that was one of the things that would have been nice and different. This, I'll tell you what, this new script. allows is for Omar F's to say

he has a stiffy. Ah, yeah. Man, he has the dumbest death in the movie. He wants to hear somebody jerking off, I guess. I think it's just someone jerking off. Like, I guess he thinks it's like a sexy lady in

the men's room stall next to him. I've got to say, I haven't seen this since it came out. Really? What? Sorry, that was just. I saw it. Yeah, I'm remembering it from then for the show. I didn't even watch it for this I was watching it last night

I rewound that part like five fucking times I was like wait what what is he listening for and it's some I mean so it's like the killer is being like it's stuff like a oh no mommy I don't want to do this mommy

you know just like he's like getting really fucking horny off of horny as fuck just sounded like you were describing something very legal I guess I was going to say have you ever been in the in a ba-ba-ba-ba-ba in a stall and someone's taking a loud shit and you have to try not to laugh oh constantly it's like it's like every day yeah it's like a john candy movie next next stall next door and you're just like

biting your knuckle because it's just like it's happening i'll tell you that's not quite oh you're like that's that's that's that's the thing that's worse when you're listening in on the struggle when there's a lot of effort being put into this shit like that's when it really it's hard to get that dude's having like a real hard time and I'm just laughing hey hey you're still in here buddy my dad went this way I just want to make sure just stay in until I flush

just call somebody if you hear me drop this guy next to me sounds like he just ran a 50K and all he did was force a shit out so he gets stabbed in the face right which it's like this is this is a This is a functioning bathroom. It's a public bathroom at a movie theater. I hope it's functioning.

Well, I mean, like, what are you thinking murdering someone? Someone's going to hear that shit. Murder in public happens all the time. In a fucking bathroom like this when you're trying to slink away? But everyone's dressed like the ghost face, Andrew. It's the perfect crime. Which stabber did it? There are many of us stabbers here tonight.

How about the one with the not glow in the dark knife? The one who goes to do a nubber. murder. He takes Omar Epps jacket or the killer takes Omar Rett's jacket, goes and sit next to Jada Pickett Smith who's watching Stab. Stab the movie. With Heather Graham is playing the Drew Barrymore case. And now she didn't like it before but now she's into it. Because yeah these movies are fun. Yeah come on

here's a stupid thing. Stupid city. Yeah, population scream too. How does the like the writers like how do the writers of Stab know how that Drew Barrymore scene went down? like almost two it was a cover up you're saying like no one knows what happened no but like she gets a similar

phone call you know what I mean she's not going in the shower though this is all around the nudity and like I guess that's supposed to be a comment on fucking you know nudity in horror movies even though there's no nudity in this that's a good point Chris the scream franchise sort of like famously doesn't

have nudity in it which is totally fine stab and the concept of the stabber is based on Gail's book being adapted, right? Yes. Courtney Cox. Right. Yes. I forget her full name. Gail Wethers. Gail Wethers. You're talking to a screamhead right here. So maybe Gail. Talking to two screamheads at least. Added, you know, some flowery dialogue to that seat, you know, maybe she filled in the blanks. Oh, I see. But I'm just saying it almost exactly mirrors. The murder. The murder happens almost exactly the same. Yeah, exactly. And some of the dialogue later that you see from other seats. Yeah. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I'm just saying, it. I,

It's very like, I mean, it's all winking at you. You never, half of this movie is talking about the fact that you're watching a movie. So you're never like, oh, man, this is like a real world I'm inhabiting. So it's all fine. Yeah. She gets stabbed. Yes. And, like, she gets up on the balcony and she's screaming and everyone's cheering because it's the worst movie premiere in the history of movie premier.

Yeah, this thing's gone off the rails. And it's like, oh, man, what are we cheering about? Hey man, somebody died Somebody Jada Pinkett Smith just died A fictional character died man Don't you feel bad The whole time my skin was crawling

Because I was just picturing myself In this screening Oh my God I'd you know what stabbed me I would be like You want to leave Yeah I know it's the preview screening But like it'll come out next week

Let's see you know We'll do the Sunday morning thing Yeah like I know we got these tickets for free But fuck this these people are animals Fuck this I bet we're being taped Oh fuck

Oh fuck I bet we're being taped Shit Tom Green's here The worst crisis actors In history Are you think this is a false flag I think so Yeah I think it was all staged

Well no I think she was actually murdered But the government did it Oh wow I think it would Maybe the movie company Couldn't finish the movie itself Oh I see So they botched the whole thing

By actually murdering somebody Oh right yeah There's like it's like It's missing like three reels at the end. Nobody will know. Oh, my God, we got to shut down the screening somehow. Stab someone. We don't have the rest of the movie done yet.

We said we would, but we don't. Quit. Kill this young girl. And then we'll release a, you know what? A killer on campus. Killer on campus. We don't have to release the movie. We can pull it.

We can pull it. We have no other one. We can hold all this money. We don't do it, man. We have to kill all these people. It's like the deadly producers. I love it. It's a tragedy, man.

We can just pull the movie, man. We look like the good guys. That's the thing is we look like the good guys. We're coming out on top. We're just going to have to kill some people. They've got a heart of cold. So, yeah, we cut to Neff Campbell, who's in college now. We're in an alternate 1999 right now.

Wait, what? Because, I mean, A, think about it. it. Eric, first of all, just think about it. No, no, I mean like... The tumble we went by, girl. No, the first movie is in 1996. This movie comes out in 1997.

They say it's a couple of... Like, someone in the movie theater is like, oh, remember those kids that died a couple of years ago? So like, we're like 1999, 2000? Question about this also, because they say a bunch of those kids died in California. Uh-huh. Where is this movie taking?

place. It's a great question. I have no idea. Because, you know, it's like... USA. It's all these kids are at college and whatnot. There's Earth. Earth. There is Earth. Earth. It's not like hard to be a god or anything. It was filmed in George. I wish it was hard to be a God.

It was filmed in Atlanta. That's what I read on the Tribune. Yeah, I don't know. I guess some like, you know... Winzer. Private College with a good film program. It's Windsor College? Yes. Yeah, that's fake. Fake, fake. Yeah, so there's no clues there it's a fake school so uh nev campbell wakes up and like everyone is just going stab crazy you know

what i'm going to do i'm going to prank that lady whose mother was killed and i'm going to prank her i'm going to prank that lady so hard the one that like narrowly escaped that that fucking tragedy oh i'm going to have such a great time hey buddies hold on i'm going to try i'm going to prank this tragedy victim dude uh it's just pre the internet yeah it's a different time man people do that right now. I would go as far to call this prophetic. This is exactly what they do

all the time. As scream too foretold people bullying others about personal tragedy in public will happen we'll call them troll calls. We just did a bit about crisis

actors. Are you kidding me? Yeah, those are real. So it's a caller idea. It's a caller ID gag, which is a lot of fun. Oh, my God, the Star 69 line. Do you remember that? Oh, yeah. It's in the theater. I think Omar Epps says it.

Oh, right. No, Jacob Smith says it. Yeah, you got a Star 69 his ass or so. Oh, yeah. Yes, yes. Which, like, what would that do? Do you put, I don't think kids today would know what that is, right? No, I guess not. So back in the day, young

listeners. It's right. So when you get naked with your lady friend and she puts her genitals on your mouth and then you put your general No, Steve, Steve, you're just talking about regular 69. Yeah, exactly. But no, she said Star 69

his ass. So it's a totally different thing. You also, it's just doing that while drawing a star on your lover's ass. Oh, I thought Star 69 was like when Marlon Brando and Michael Jackson did it. Like that's a star 609. Oh, that's actually a great point.

Okay. So, yeah. Where did you get that from? Who are you? Kenneth Anchor? He's got the fucking videotape. But now you're thinking about it. Oh, everyone, close your eyes, imagine it. Oh, imagine it.

Late in life, Marlon Brando, those thighs. Or it could stand for, like, a chocolate starfish. Oh, also true. Lip biscuit. By the way, Star 69 was when someone called you. Yes. And in the case of, like, a prank call, if you didn't get that number, you hang up, and then you dial Star 69, and it would redial the most recent number that called you. Yes.

This reminds me of one of my favorite Phil Hartman sketches when, uh, call you. her ID finally came out or first came out and he calls Julius Sweeney and he's making kind of a lewd phone call and she's like oh yeah will you do that mister and she picks up the phone and she's like Mr. Kenneth Johnson at four or five da da da da da da da da da da and she hangs up like really

self-satisfied and he's like huh guess I'll have to kill her it's just always my favorite thing in the world yeah we get introduced to her roommate Hallie there's also a Freddie the Kruger sweater in this scene everybody Because we have to just keep laughing.

Why should there be a reality in this movie ever? No, not at all. You got to remember you're watching a movie. And then we go to cut to Jamie Kennedy's classroom. So it's, wait, so it's revealed that big plot point here, Cottonweary, played by a very youthful Leif Schreiber. Reprising his role. From just being seen on like a television screen in the first movie, he's, he's IRL here

and he's been exonerated and he's released from prison. I actually think he's one of the best parts of this movie. He is hands down because he's an excellent actor and he's working with trash. So, you know, he's doing his best. I don't think this movie is that bad. It's bad, but it's like fine. It's stupid and it's way too long. It's unnecessary.

I think his character is one of the only ones that consistently makes sense. And the self-referential stuff doesn't like completely ham it in. Yeah. But so they see on the television that these two people have been murdered at the premiere of Stab or the secret preview screening of Stab, to which Nevichekek. Campbell instinctively is like, where's Randy? And I was like, oh, no, that creep followed her to college. Oh, shit.

And she's still okay with it. I just imagine Randy running up to her like, oh my God, I just got into college. He's like, me too. And he's like, all right, sit on one, two, three. Windsor. Windsor. I went to Windsor, too. Well, they have a good film program, right, Sid?

It's just natural I'd go there. Right, right. Dude, you got to fucking, I mean, like, you know, you should be a friend of law enforcement. You should be looking at Randy a little bit. Like, hey, Randy. Yeah. Like, let's still. Yeah, oh, guarantee.

I mean, I would bet. Neff Campbell, she's presented as a very smart young woman. And, like, she clearly had a backup school. I would go to the backup school. Yeah, totally. There's a reason you have backups. Oh, that's a good move. Like when Randy fucking follows you to college screech style, man.

Jesus Christ. It's the old gang back together. Oh, Turleton was my backup too. Oh, weird. Oh, you see Turleton. I love you see Turleton. Oh, man. All sorts of toilet arts are there.

She's got a better haircut in this movie. She looks like fucking like a late career, Andre Agassi in the first movie. It's like a really sensible, like, late 90s bob cut. And it's interesting because in this movie, she looks like a later in the series party of five characters. It's a strange thing. Also, the roommate knows exactly that Randy has film theory class right now. Yep. Fuck that.

I didn't know any of your fucking school schedules. Are you kidding me? I was in every class with you practically. Well, all right, you maybe. But, like, oh, where's Steve? I don't know, dead. He's dead or maybe in a class? I don't know.

We're not married. I don't have his fucking school schedule. So we go to, we cut to Randy's class. What a room. A star studied class. This class makes no. sense this teacher is terrible because like

it seems like we're starting off talking about oh my god you hear about this kids you died it's probably a film theory right yeah so we're talking about like you know violence in the media you know blah blah blah life imitates art I guess that's a way to spend your afternoon maybe you've done the reading part and this is like bonus

time this is like we're off the syllabus for the day this is a special circumstances class which the professor is thrilled because he had a week towards the back of the semester where he had nothing going. He was running out of fumes. He was like, I'll do these dittos. Oh, wait, that

kid died? Thank God. Let's just back up everything a week. Perfect. But this is a room man. You got Jamie Kennedy, Timothy Oliphant. Sarah Michelle is in this class. Sir Michelle Geller. Joshua Jackson. I mean, my God, they're all here. Joshua Jackson

does not, does he have a line? No. He's got a couple of lines. Well, he's got a couple of lines. He doesn't really have a character. Yeah, he's just there? This is pretty Dawson, by the way. It's pre-Dawson. He wound up getting onto Dawson's Creek because of this. What was Kevin Williamson?

He needed that film theory credit to get on the Dawson's Creek. That's why I didn't get onto Dawson. You know, it was just, I was three credits shy. Now, Eric. He's a fucking phys head credit. You didn't like the rock climbing class? No, I did not. Eric, don't you remember when we were sitting around in film school,

just like talking about something. sequels. This is such a fucking bullshit thing. Who never talk about a sequel? In this capacity. The professor is like grading them as like, that's a, oh, Godfather 2, that's the right sequel. A plus.

Welcome to sequels. Sequels 102. Also, they begin by talking about this massacre that happened in this theater and they turn within 30 seconds to talking about sequels. Don't you want to realign the conversation there, buddy? Yeah, dude, what are you getting picked for? Well, listen, a massacre on film is a sequel. Oh, let's talk about it.

Let's curb the impressions, gang. I know the bell has it. You haven't been dismissed yet, but like, let's try and keep this a little bit intellectual. Oh, please, dude. Try to just fucking try to get Jamie Kennedy did not do impressions. Are you kidding me? There's at least three in this movie. Try to get him to shut up.

That's like all I want him to do is to. Shut the fuck up. And it's kind of great because you can tell the strain on the class that these impressions are taking. So, like, Tim Oliphant has the obnoxious. They're arguing about, like, superior sequels to the originals, right?

As the famous scene. House 2 comes up. The second story. Yes. Which is a turd. Spoiler alert. Mickey is the killer. So he's like, oh, the sequels can always be superior

to the original. Right. Tim Oliphant and Lori Metcalf are the killers in this movie. Let's just get that out. And he's living a sequel. And so he has this like, I've got it, by the way. The Godfather, part two. And they all go, oh, yes.

Oh, Mickey. You know, Mickey, you do not have to do the rating next week. Mickey did the best sequel, guys. There it is. He got it. Graduate the fifth grade. And then, like, Jamie Kennedy. He holds up a black card.

Like, correct. Jamie Kennedy, who's been like, beaten by his film school rival just starts launching into like go against the family and you see the whole classroom just go oh god what is it October oh fuck oh fuck we have at least until mid-December with this guy did I miss the drop period excuse me did I miss can I just drop this oh can I just go to the registrar I really need to see if I can still drop this God that girl he's obsessed with camera

out. Get him out of here. Shit. And not for nothing. Sarah Michelle Giller is like, look, giving you fuck eyes in this scene, dude, because your impressions are so funny. And you're like, you know what, dude? Nah, Neff Campbell or bust. And I mean, like, I see that, but I mean, come on,

it's fucking college. Make some mistakes. Exactly right. And the pining over some girl you knew in high school. Yeah, dude. Listen, with like all, what with your friends all being murdered? Yeah. Let's not be friends anymore. Nothing's going to blossom there.

Yeah, romantically especially. Like friends alone, but romantically, are you kidding? This is a character designed for me to give sympathy towards. And like, it says so much about Kennedy in this movie that I, immediately I was thinking about the kill scene. Like, from the minute he started talking, I was like, oh, that's coming. It's coming. Well, I remember the first time seeing this movie.

I didn't see this. I only saw the third and fourth one in theaters. What? Yeah. Wow. What's kind of scream? head are you? I was a screamhead who like wasn't sneaking into

very many rated our movies and I didn't have older siblings and my parents don't go to the movie. More like a yell head or something that's a lesser scream. We call that it's the Bronx and everyone's invited. Come on in 16 year old. No but I remember like when

Randy is murdered in this movie just like at the time like little film geek me being like a part of me is dead too. I was like literally shocked. I was shattered when that happened. I'll be, I'll admit it, man. I was a bit shattered.

Because I was obsessed with the first movie and like because he's the funny guy. He's the goofy fucking idiot film geek. I was like, oh, it's me and the movie. Someone made a character with me and that character's in a movie and I'm watching it. I didn't know I knew Wes Quavin, but he made a character on me. Wait, should I not follow that girl to college? See, okay, so I'm shocked. How does she not have a restraining order?

And then I'm like, wait, how does everyone that knows him that does not have a restraining order? There are many questions abound with their relationship. So, like, they talk it through. And Jamie Kennedy's not buying it, though. He does not buy the fact that, like, there's another killer on the loose who's coming after them. Yeah. It's like, hey, you know, things happen at the movies, blah, blah, blah. Oh, doing that all in a cockney accent, by the way, get ready for laughs.

Why? Why does he do that? Because it's funny. Wes Craven's like, you know what, Jamie? Just do it, man. Hey Jamie No no no no no no Kevin shut up Jamie's on screen Kevin shut up Kevin I don't care what the script says

Jamie's gonna do it Is she with my chair over there Sis She's director She's director in big letters Like a cartoon you know I had them do it Oh my God he gave him the chair

Dawson what Fuck you I actually think that this movie's really well directed Actually like the Like it's dynamic looking like there's a lot of like I thought so. I thought this looks like more so than it needed to be. I thought that it's looked like

Dawson's Creek or 90210 or something. You know what I mean? It's like it just feels stale. Classics. It feels like the 90s dude. It's the late 90s. And it is like the most sluggishly paced thing. There's no reason why this movie

has to be two hours long. That's a big problem. That's a big problem. I think the first one's like 100 minutes. So like you're attacking on 20 minutes of this shit? And for what? For Agamemnon? Really? Really, man. We'll get there, man. I got some things to say about Agamemnon.

So, you know, there was a thing. I had not seen this movie in a long time and rewatched it last night for the first time in several years. And when this Adonis pops on screen, I literally just exclaimed, oh, Jerry O'Connell. Oh, yeah, man. Hey, cool, Jerry O'Connell. Was this, no, I sliders has already happened, so everyone knew he was a sexy fuck already, not the fat kid from standby. Yeah, Sliders.

He also had a comedic version of this character and Can't Hardly Wait. Oh, he's also Kush already at this point from Jerry Jerry McGuire. Cush lash. Oh, right. Because that was like 96, 95. 96, that sounds right. So yeah, no, he's a

known, he's a known hunk at this point. Question. Who is the sexier on-screen offspring of Bow Bridges? Jerry O'Connell in Jerry McGuire or Christian Slater in Wizard Christian Slater man

He could fucking do what he wants Yeah I'm going with Eric on this one No Jerry O'Connell's got the meat He's got the meat but I got plenty of meat Okay star 69 is Bo Bridges from the Wizard 69 and Bo Bridges from Jerry McIre Oh shit dude I think that's how you invent time trial And that's how the original slider

happen. The slide opens up. Jerry O'Connell from Tom Katz is watching in the corner. Oh, yeah, absolutely. And he jumps in, like, in the nexus of the assholes. Oh, nice. That's how the time thing happens. I never watched the line. And then John Reed's day was like, get out of there, Jerry. It's dangerous.

Look out, Jerry, a moose lamb. Man, I, several years ago at this point, when it was added to either Netflix or Hulu, I was like, oh, cool sliders, let's revisit. Man, those graphics don't hold up worth a fuck.

It's un, that shows unwatchable because those wormholes are so terrible. I do feel bad for poor John Rees-Davies' character in that. He's like a professor that gets stuck with his students. Yeah, and then he loses his life. And I'd be like, which reality do I fuck in the most? Oh, no, I'm fucking a moose slam! John Rees-Davis, no-racist!

Yeah, so obviously reality is the worst invention for John Rees-Davis. So, yeah, Gail Weather shows up. You know, we've already discussed, she wrote the book. Deputy Dewey shows up in this. And I guess, here's my question. Is the nerve damage in the script, or was it like, I just watch usual suspects, and this is a cool thing for an actor to do? Well, this is what smart actors do. I mean, they do work in dialogue about it.

Yeah. So. That's all ad-liped. What is it? Hey, Kevin, shut up. Kevin, shut up. You know what? David's making a choice, and I appreciate that.

Now, go write a scene where he and Jamie Kennedy talk about his nerve damage on a food court. Do it. You work. Do it. Do it. Do it, William said. You worked with Kevin Spacey, right? You worked with him before. He would do this, right? He would be into this, right?

It's obnoxious that David Arquette is in this movie. He's fine. It's fine. But, like, it's a really obnoxious scenario in where you're getting the band back together. Like your mom deputy Dewey And I see that shit on the TV I'm like Ah those people I knew a couple years ago

Or might be in trouble Nah Answer me this question What does this thundering simpleton Add to this fucking movie Well he actually does nothing Nothing It's just

It's like a fucking two hour long sitcom thing And then we have to bring him And them all around And they got like that nostalgic music When he comes out It's that's my big problem With this movie Is there's so much

like dramatic looking back rebonding I'm like fuck you this was like a hip happened first of all just happened nine months ago man but it's a couple of years it's fake it's fake 1999 oh right okay so sorry I don't care but it's so annoying like the longing to see each other again and this nostalgia and all this shit Jamie Kennedy has the most annoying line in this movie's like oh nothing like a funeral being the family back together I better go say hi Oh yeah that's torture That's torture and that's what I'm talking about

Like all this like forced sentimentality Just give me a new cast You know keep like Keep the couple that you have there already It's not Scream 2 this is Scream Season 2 Yeah yeah totally After it was cancelled And then the internet petition brought it back

Yes exactly Well because I feel like The Netflix season that nobody wanted Yeah exactly It feels like he lifted portions of a Dawson's Creek episode to put directly in here. Like all this talk, it's all recycled

footage. It's just recycled footage, man. Well, Dawson was a slasher. That kid was fucking unbalanced. Man, that's another fucking failed filmmaker. Dawson, whatever his name is. Dawson Leary. Leary, yeah. He was one of those like Stevens Spielberg's

the greatest director of all time. He's just fucking filming what's her, everybody change across the lake, man. Or across the creek. He's definitely, he's definitely make Dawson's Lake. Illegal pornography. That's actually an awesome episode of Dawson's Creek. If I'm remembering it right

and I'm sure after she listens to it, my wife will correct me. There's an episode where he's in college and like his movie that he made screens at a film festival and people hate it and he's fucking humiliated. That sounds about it. Oh, I love it. I love it. I checked out in college, but I watched the first couple of people. Don't worry about. You went to college with Dawson?

That I laughed. He was in film class He didn't do He didn't name the right sequel Oh, we didn't say Godfather Part 2 No Oh what a loser And then he got you know

He said Empire Strikes back And then I was like uh-uh Part of a trilogy totally planned Which is actually not true No it's not That movie's a fucking sequel Then Godfather 2 wouldn't be fucking Yeah

The fuck Yeah That's part of a saga though So Yeah Gell Weathers is on Is on campus She gets punched in the face again

She gets punched in the face again And then also because I mean like yeah everyone would hate this woman because she just wrote this trashy shitty book that ruined everybody's life and now she I mean I guess she's producing the movie or something she's getting some fucking resids I don't know about producing I mean maybe you know I mean she's clearly getting like the based on oh yeah they optioned you see that credit though yeah in the in the opening moments of this film based on the novel and who's gonna whatever the fuck murders and who's gonna buy this

novel after like you know your your brother's stabbing was turned into a Jason kill. Like, you put the stabber on a book cover? Dude, buying that shit. Put that shit in Hudson News at the airport? You are selling that book. You're going through the airport and you see the stabber? You want to learn more about that guy.

It's just like a Clive Gussler. You can do it with serial killer shit, man. Case in point. Eric and I were at LAX, get ready to come back from our Podfest appearance. and I stopped off at the Hudson News equivalent at L.A.X. Jeffrey Dahmer, the comic book right there. No, dude, that novel The Snowman.

It's a serial killer movie with Michael Fastbender that's coming out. I was like, first of all, based on real events. No, but it's the same shit, though, dude. It's just fucking serial killer's shit. You can just sell serial killer shit. Yeah. Have you been to see? I've heard it's unlivable.

That's what the prison planet tells me. me. Um, so yeah, I mean, like, we kind of cut ahead to the first big party and Sarah Michelle Geller is in a, uh, she's in a, in a, in a, in a sorority house. And she, this is the first time we actually get the ghost face call by the way, which is kind of the whole fucking point. Right. We get the, we get the phony one. Yeah. What's that? Oh, oh, oh, a phone call. I thought maybe he had like a distinctive howl. I don't know. No. No. No, the call of the stabber. But, but to be fair, we've gotten a very good skill. when Jamie Kennedy watches Jerry O'Connell and the Campbell kiss.

Yeah, he's... Just stares. He's keeping a lookout, man, guaranteed. He says out loud so that everyone can hear him, get a room. There's nothing sadder than saying, get a room to literally anybody. To a woman... To a woman who knows you've got a crush on her. And you're like, oh, get a room.

You and your fucking hot-ass Jerry O'Connell. boyfriend. You're making everybody sick. Doesn't that make you attracted to me that I yelled that? You want to hear a funny impression? Oh, wait, no, that guy looks like Jerry O'Connell. No, I get it. This sorority

party situation is interesting because the two main sorority girls are Rebecca Gayhart from Urban Legend and a bunch of commercials. And then Portia Dorasi. That's a bet you'll lose every week.

Porta de Rossi and scream, too. Exactly. She's almost unrecognizable. Strong eyebrow game. Yeah, it's crazy. So they're having like a big party, but oddly, Sarah Michelle's character, Cece, who's part of the sorority,

decides to hang back so she can chill on the couch and watch Nosferatu, 1922. You're going to that party. Well, no, she's sober sister, they say. She's like, oh. She's like the one that has to like pick everyone. You can't even fucking hang out?

Would she just be too tempted by the boobs? Yes, I think that's more of the thing. Tempted by the booze. Osferatu is good as shit, man. It's fucking great. Yeah, you hang out watching. It's a great movie, and I said this on Twitter, I believe, though, that these are the kind of film students

that refuse to watch anything before, like, 1972. Like, that's the earliest reference I got. We're talking about Godfather One. That's what you've seen. She's not watching this movie. And before we find that, she's talking about party of five. She's also not one of the film majors So maybe she's got like

Better film taste She is a film major She's in that fucking class She's trying to fuck Jamie Kennedy man Oh right You just said the eyes Yeah you know what Fuck scream too

So Don't act like I have to pay attention to scream too So like yeah we're just like You know we're talking on the phone We're doing the thing Also in the stab movie they get the same guy doing the voice. Yeah, what are the odds?

It should be like John Hurd or something. Maybe like, maybe get like Jim Belushi or Walt, you know, to do it. Yeah, what's your favorite scary movie? What is it? Come on, I'll wait. Retroactive. Oh, shit. I heard that's actually quite excellent.

You want to know what my favorite scary movie is? Superman won when Glenn Ford has a heart attack. That's fucking terrifying. Ryan, man. You who makes me think you could drop dead at any second. You know, I have the app

Shutter, by the way, speaking of Jim Volusian horror movies. Yeah. And I think they just like go by title at some point. Ghost Writer is on Shudder and it's got like... Wait, what?

The Ghost Writer. The Roman Polanski movie? Yeah. Now, is that on there just because it was directed by a monster? I guess so. Oh, spooky.

I think that. They're just like, give me all the ghost movies you got. Yeah, but we also have ghost writer. Yeah, yeah, that's good. Yeah, ghost. Wait, is there sort of any kind of thriller-ish thing to that movie? I haven't seen it. I saw it the one time.

I saw it one time I liked it. Yeah, it's like a murder. I mean, it's not like supernatural at all. But is it like any kind of like psychological? It's like creepy beach house. Yeah, it's like political intrigue. Like, it's not really. Look, just give me, look, I got, I got, it's almost October.

It's shutter. It's the only time It's like the Cadbury Company In Easter This is the time We need all the movies Give me all the ghost movies You got

I don't care It's me Greg shut up What's this The ghost in the darkness What's it about? Lines Okay

The blood? Okay I'll take it I mean I'll take that too Demi Moore She's terrified You know I'll take the video

For zombie From cranberries too Zombie stuff all of it I don't care Any you know Ghost Dad That's too scared No, you keep that.

The ghost and Mrs. Moyer. Okay, it's a comedy. Okay, we get with some diversity. Okay, that's a good. Yeah, the ghosts of Mississippi, it sounds scary. Yeah, give me that, too. I want all the ghosts. A heart condition with Denzel Washington.

He's a ghost, and that sounds fucking terrifying. Greg Shudder. It's stupid. So, Sarah Michelle gets murdered. She gets chucked up. Boring. It's a pretty good. Actually, I think it's a pretty good kill.

It is. It's stabbed, like twice, and then hucked off a roof. Stabbed, defenestrated, and then hucked off a balcony. Excuse me? Defenestrated. What's that? That's when the boat bridges gets on one end. Oh, yeah, dude. He starts really getting deep. But during this one, Jeff Bridges does commentary. I like that.

What is defenestrated? Defenestrated. You take out a window. It's a word that means when you go out a window either by yourself. for by force. Defenestrate. It's one of my favorite words. See, what, de fenestrate?

Defenstrate. Fenster. That's German for Windows. So that's how I put it all together. Oh, there you go. Look at our little etymology bug over here. I'm a linguist. I'm a linguist.

So literally, this girl that everybody knew got thrown off a fucking building. They're at this other sorority party. And then somebody comes like, yo, dude, Cisi just got fucking murdered. And everyone's like, Woohoo, party!

Let's go see it. Which, like, it happens in the first movie. It would fucking shatter everyone. But in the first movie, it sort of makes sense because it's when the principal gets murdered. Sure. And they're like, hey, they found Principal Hymbrie hanging from the goal post, man. Yeah.

And you're like, all right, I'd check that out. Also, they're, like, already pretty wasted. It's, like, 1 a.m. Like, I'd go check that out. Also, it's a proven homicide. Almost immediately. Yes. You don't want to shut down the campus maybe there.

What the fuck is happening? That's what I was noticing in this movie. And I guess it is the first movie also, but like, nobody's having funerals. That's the one thing you can say, because I've been going back through all these Nightmare and Elm Street movies, which are terrible. But I'm going back through those. Proper burials for every kid. Dude, not every hour. You get at least one funeral scene per movie.

guaranteed, including the first one. There's funeral scenes. We are burying the dead, dude. In this franchise, I think we're just burning them out back. I think they're all orphans. Every single kid, somehow. That's a great point.

Yeah, where are all the parents clanging on the gates? Get my kid out of this fucking death trap. They'd all be gone. There's no way. After this first one, it's done. No. Sorry, you registered at death you. scream two death you i like this yeah oh there's a fucking subtitle you could have had right

there a little bit more campy i'd like that also fine we're just doing the same thing right that first movie principal himprey gets killed where is the crusty old dean to get murdered come on yeah come on he can be played by david haslehaw oh that would work or get ron get ron howard in there like get the whole happy days thing going ony most is a school administrator absolutely dude take that mouth the dumbest part of this movie is like it's for some reason louis arquette is okay with like uh gale weather louis archer plays the sheriff right the put upon sheriff and he's got like uh he's he asks david arquette for help and he's got gail weathers in there and they're all

like trying to work out what's going on in this case and like apparently the names of all of the people match all of the people like first movie which they drop after this scene though it's like hey wait hey this person was Maureen, and those letters are also in other people's names. It looks like Phil Stevens. Well, his name is Stephen Black, so... Okay.

They're both names. All right. So, Woodsboro had names, and these people have names. Both victims had names given to them at birth by parents. Yep. Birthed from a woman's birth canal. That's another link.

Wait, everyone... Wait, those kids had teeth, and these kids You got a copycat on your hands Oh my God Johnson do you Oh my God we've cracked it There's more than one Stephen It's a world of Stevens

It's so stupid though It drops immediately Maybe that was part of the leaked script That was so good Maybe Harry Knowles got his fat fingers on it And ruined it for everybody Oh God Speaking of people you wish we're six feet under

God God I hate that guy guy. Everybody does now, rightfully so. Wait, while we're on the topic of pigs, because I'm sure this will come up, yes, this movie was a dimension films thing,

which was headed by Bob Weinstein. Harvey Weinstein is a producer on this movie. Fuck that guy too, obviously. Just in case anyone's like, why are they doing this movie? And there's nothing funny about any of that stuff.

Yeah, that's the thing. It's like, don't tell us, yeah, that's the thing. Everyone was like, where, like all the conservative pundits They're like, where are all the jokes about how? How is it funny? Yeah, there's nothing funny about.

What are you talking about? Yeah, yeah. I mean, when that guy dies, I'll laugh. Yeah, totally. I mean, you know, let's bring on that fucking fat guy heart attack, Lord Jesus Christ. That's what he's in charge of it. Why don't you get off your duff and fucking execute a fat guy heart attack? Well, Jesus, you were two minutes late last night and broke curfew.

You're going to be administering fat guy heart attacks. For the next 200 years. Oh, dad. No buts. So what's the next death even? Well, actually, we get to the most... If there's fat to cut in this movie, and there is... Yeah.

It's David Warner. And you know me. It's now we're talking David Warner. I love David Warner. Sure. He plays the professor that is, like, weirdly desperate to keep this girl in this school play. Yeah. Well, you know,

You know what, Steve? The show must go on. Listen, even as classmates are being slaughtered outside. I don't care if you have PTSD. We need asses in the seats. Use it. Look, we've been romped by the R.A. Follies three years in a row,

and that's just a bunch of cheap laughs because they're all in drag. This is Agamemnon, God damn it. I will not be duped by sketch comedy again. I'll be honest, I originally wanted Sarah Michelle, but she went home or something. Nobody knows what happened to your understudy, C.C. the sorority sister. You have to do this. We have the humanities theater for two nights only. It's fucking ridiculous, dude.

He's talking about, like, the battle for souls and all this shit. And I was like, dude, it is college theater. We have $50 in time. Pre-sales. That comes out of my pocket. Look, you sniveling little baby. I'm poised to take a bath on this. Okay, I bought all the tickets.

I've been handing them out at the mall. But now I get all the popcorn. I spent $4,000 on this set for no reason. I mean, this is a professional set with these cinderblots. It's pretty well done. And she tries to act, and she has fucking PTSD. from the last time, not even this time. Oh, actually, we shouldn't cut back.

The killer does try to attack her here, and Jerry O'Connell gets stabbed. And we actually get this weird thing where you get, like, ghost-faced talking in real time. He's like, right here, like, for no reason? Yes, the whole, like, not-over-the-phone ghost-face thing. And this happens in this movie. How does that even work?

Are you strapping it to your throat? That's the thing. Because from the first movie And we see it at the end of this one There's the voice box thing And wanna play a gay You know But like in this movie

They're running around And he's just talking And I'm like It's gotta be taped to the mask Anyone could do that voice Yeah We all do that voice You can do that voice

You just did that voice Not well So You think Lori Metcalf Could do that voice I think so I mean the ears Hear what they want to hear

Like you're running from the stabber and you know what the stabber sounds like and you hear like a passable impression you're distracted in that moment you're like hey that's pretty weak stabber that's a weak shit dude we should mention because she just came up again Lori Metcalf has been introduced to the movie

at this point she's playing a local news reporter for the quote local paper who's trying to get the scoop on the stabbing's and whatnot and she just kind of It pops in to, like, annoy Courtney Cox every now and again. I was going to say you scoop with a spoon. You stab with a knife.

Oh, Eric Siska's underwear jokes. It's in the paper. I read her story. This is more Scooby-Doo-ish than the first one. The first one, like, yeah, it's more you're going to trust. It could be any of your classmates. Right. You have all these creepy classmates.

Jamie Kennedy's like a big red herring in that movie. And you're like, oh, what's going on? What's going on? And, like, the dad's there. but this is like super scooby-dooish right because it's like the lady we met at the start of the movie kind of thing yeah exactly she she ran the fucking

Ferris wheel before it burned down yeah like the bug-eyed lunatic because she just comes in she's like wide-eyed the whole time she says something like kind of crazy to Courtney Cox and then she leaves the movie yeah it's like something something I'm crazy slash the local paper

bye well because after Sarah Michelle dies I'm wrong there's not a death until the finale right like there's not a huge huge kill count in this. We did talk, Randy does die. Oh, we'll get into that now. Yeah, and in a van-related mishap. What happens, though, before that is, I think,

one of the most horrifying scenes in all of horror cinema. Oh, wow. And that is Jerry O'Connell reenacting that scene from Top Gun. Oof. You know what? This is why that movie is two hours. This is exactly why. This is his addition, apparently.

And this is like... This is why that movie is two hours. I think you're talking about Top Gun. Oh, no. Yeah, I'm confusing things. No, this is why... This scene is why this movie Scream 2 is 2 hours. Because he sings this entire song in the cafeteria.

To Neve Campbell. And to set up the stupid fucking necklace for the end. That's the whole point. That is the real thing that happens in this fucking scene. Well, also, Mickey is like, huh, cool. Top Gun. And it's like, you know what, Mickey? We're just trying to fucking have lunch here.

Do not tell me the year Top Gun came out. And I know it's from Topka. It wasn't 1982. Come on. Talk to me about Red Desert or eight and a half, motherfucker. You about talking about fucking Top Gun. No, no, no, no, no. See, that's the thing, Cabin.

No, no, no, no. American cinema only because they're those kinds of fucking film students. That's the thing. It's also like, I'm tired of hearing about the Godfather. In any respect. Yeah. Like, it's not, it's good, but it's not like. I don't need another discussion.

Do we just study it because it's fucking pop, it's pop culture? I'm not confusing Top Gun, 1986, or whenever it came out. Yeah, it was later than that, too. Damn it! Well, I didn't go to films. No, I'm guessing. Let me tell you. Tom Gun, 1980, whatever, with fucking James Cagney's Top Gun, Mickey.

I'm just trying to sit and have lunch. What year do you say? 86, the second time. You got a ride! Oh, there we go. Second time. Yeah, second time's a charm. I thought it was later, but you know what I was thinking of, Steve.

What's that? Hot Shots, baby. Oh, sure. Part one or part Dua? Oh, part Uno. Uno, yeah. 91.

91 on Hot Shots, everyone. While this is happening. You would actually, Hot Shots Part D, is that like the ultimate sequel? Is that like a sequel that's superior to the first film? I got it, by the way.

I got it, by the way. Hot Shots, part Dia. A plus. You got the Rambo parody, you got Saddam Hussein. having a bomb dropped on them, like, way in advance before it actually happened in real life. No, no, no, no.

I got it. American graffiti, too. Actually, it's called more American graffiti. Get out of this film class, cabin. Loser. Fuck you. Fuck you. I got it, by the way.

Another steakout. Which I have seen way more times than the first steakhouse. Another 48 out. Oh, wait, no, that's terrible. I got it, by the way. Major League, back to the miners. Oh, wow. That's pretty good.

That's pretty good one? Mm-hmm. Yeah. Do you fucking go right for the ending. I think Corbynson kills himself. He, like, leaves his car running in the garage or something. And then Scott Bacchuk. I have to go back to the miners. Scott Bacula comes out, and he's just like, well, I'm the coach now.

Oh, so while this stupid singing is happening, Jamie Kennedy and David Arquette are having their famous scene from the trailer in where he's discussing rules for sequels and whatnot. Oh, man, rules for sequels. It's not as bad as here's a videotape of me in case I'm dead and you found yourself in a trilogy because that's the worst.

But this is pretty terrible also. They're just like at the food court on like the college campus or something and he's like going through well actually they don't even really have rules because he's like, what are some of the rules and Jamie Kennedy's like well we're in a sequel

shut up he is just fucking going for it man he's not talking he's talking fucking nothing and like they make they drop the of course they have to drop the fucking uh well I was I was played by David Schwimmer do you know what David Schwimmer

was in David Schwimmer was in friend you're caught in your car dude we are just I think Kevin Williams and had to hire somebody to stand next to him while he typed his screenplay so he could elbow that person. Oh, you're getting it? You're getting all the yokes. You're getting the yokes.

There's two friends' jokes of it. I know. Oh, right. Oh, man. Oh, Gail Weathers had a, there was a nudie pick of her on the internet, which is very quaint and hilarious by today's standards. And it's like, oh, yeah, that was my face and Jennifer Aniston's body.

Oh, elbow knife. Oh, fuck yeah, dude. Enjoy. You know, that's the thing, man. They just want you to enjoy this movie. They just want you to have a lot of fun at the movies. Sure they do. I got it, by the way. Father of the Bride, Part 2.

I got it, by the way. The Trial of Billy Jack. Oh, I don't know. I got it, by the way. Crocodile Dundee in Los Angeles. Man, what a dumb title. I got it, by the way. the way. Hard bodies

too. There was a second hard body? There's a second hard. I could also do Zapped too if you would prefer. No, there was a sequel to Zapped? That is a second Zapped. Did you know Billy Jack is technically a sequel? To what? God damn. What was that first movie? I forget.

It's something like the not the rebels, but something something like that. Something like that. Like the outlaws, I don't know. Yeah, the outlaws like that. You know who's a character in this movie? And this actor wishes he was way more of a character and he's trying hard as he might. This dude

playing the cameraman. Oh yeah, Dwayne something. Playing Joel the cameraman and it's just one of those like she has to explain to him like how the last guy was like murdered and this dude's doing this dude again like we had it earlier in the

movie with Omar Abbson Jada Pinkett Smith and then we have it here again where he's like you know that black characters and horror movies don't last long and I was like motherfucker I was there 45 minutes ago. Well, I'm saying this is part of that rewrite where you don't even know what you're writing

so you're just like repeating shit. Like, did I do that? Wait, did I copy and paste this? Did I do the joke about black people? I'm just getting in here anyway. I got it, by the way. No, the first on-screen appearance of Billy Jack was the born losers.

Oh, okay. So Billy Jack might be the most perfect sequel ever made. Sorry. Around this point is when Randy's murdered in a van because he's talking shit about Billy Luma. He's pulled into a van By what we're told later in the movie

Is Lori Matcalf And look, that fucking body slam dude I know it's Jamie Kennedy But come on Dude, she is undertakering this kid And like just throwing him around Like I don't know Any one of us in this room

And we're all fucking losers Could win a fight with Lori Metcalf Like you know Lori Metcalf could stab me in the back Sure Lori Mattcats's not throwing me in a van That's the thing you need like The assault to happen first

So like you get him in the spine and he drops and then you pull him in. To be fair, this was before she started taking up kickboxing. As we all know, she is now a champion kickoffer. I mean, she just, the door to this news van swings open and she pulls him so hard, he

goes off the ground. Come on. Well, I'm sorry. I barely paid attention. I was clapping the whole time. This was like, this was the most glorious moment for me. Your dog is barking. It's so dumb that, like, I'm sorry. It's an annoying character

but it's like an active character. Sure. So like once he's dead, you're just like, okay, all right, now we're slowing down even more somehow. I mean, the idea is like anybody can die now. Oh my gosh. All bets are off, dude. All bets are off.

Who knows who's going to make it through this sequel? And then they almost kill a bunch of beloved characters and then don't. Right. Because there's the long editing bay sequence that takes fucking forever. And the irony of this scene taking place in an editing bay is just beyond complete. bear. I mean, we're making a lot of cuts. We're not taking stuff out, but

we're making a lot of them. Courtney Cox and David Arquette's on and off again thing. They like start making out this edding bay and then ghost face winds up stabbing him in the back even more. Classic stabber. Like this dude should be dead. Yes. It's so fucking stupid. It's so dumb.

Dude, you see this killer go down multiple times bringing that knife down to this dude's back. Like that guy is fucking dead. And at the end of his head at that point. He's a zombie. Or like he's been risen by Christ the Lord. Oh, that could be. You know, like they stick him in a hole for three days?

All right, Jesus. You have to give fat guy heart attacks and give dim with a deputies second jances. All day with this shit. Dewey's guardian angel. He's a fictional character. I can't fucking do that, whatever. Yes, you

can. You're Jesus. Young man. God damn it. I got it by the way. Chud too, Bud the Chow. Oh, actually. You know, maybe.

No, that's a lie. Dude, two words, Daniel Stern. Two words, Garrett Graham. Oh, shit. Barrett Graham. Number of 7, 8, 910. I got it, by the way. Gator.

No, you are fucking wrong, dude. White Lightning. So they wait like an hour and a half To put fucking Neve Campbell in protective custody A number one sheriff Like that's the girl Especially what happens on campus It's like they're clearly after this girl

Right the movie theater thing maybe not But once we murder Cece on campus You're getting into protective custody But this cop is the best death In the entire movie And it's fucking ridiculous because he ends up like what goes, the stabber, excuse me,

hits him with a car, hits him with his own car. Yeah. And he's on the hood and he's like, I will shoot you in the head. And then he does not shoot him all. You got to take the shot. He's like five blocks and he's like,

I'll do it. Look, you've got a windshield, a body, and a seat before you could potentially hit Nev Campbell or her roommate Hallie. Like, you got to take the shot. Yeah, they're both in the car. and then the stabber just drives it into like a construction site.

This dude's head gets squished with these fucking pipes. It's a fucking final destination death man. It's great. You get to see the squiggle. The squiggle of his stupid skull and a stupid hand. The other guy, this is what's obnoxious. It's two dudes get taken out by one killer. And they're in a car and this, presumably Tim Mollifant,

but I don't know with her superhuman strength. That might be Lori Metcalfe. Trained Kevin Costner's size bodyguard. here, taken out by this asshole. What makes them specifically Kevin Costner size? They make that joke. Oh, they do? Yeah. I didn't watch the movie. Man.

This is becoming a weekly thing, Eric. So around this point, too, Jerry O'Connell is kidnapped and then crucified in the theater. It's like a party thing. Like, all of his Greek buddies, because he's a frat dude, just tear down all of his clothes and tie him up. Right. And make him drink beer.

We're going to tie up our sexy friend. Take all of his clothes off. Make him drink beer. And that's... Shugging something. Star 69. Oh man, I wish. But this is the payback for

like he gave his necklace with the letters on it to Nev Campbell. And I guess these fucking dudes found out about it. It wasn't enough for the movie to be an hour and 50 minutes. that just couldn't happen couldn't put it through to have that

so now this is on top of the fucking you know everything with Dewey and like all the other shit that just doesn't need to be here this is a David Arquette blockbuster though by the way like this is like a David Arquette a blockbuster franchise

sure he's not in the fourth one right yeah he is in the fourth one that's right don't they all cut it's Courtney Cox Everyone who's left alive returns I think the only one you're missing is Leo Schreibery gets killed in the cold open to the third one, that's right?

That lucky bastard. And then like Emma Roberts is in it. I actually like that fourth movie. Yeah, the fourth one's not bad. I remember enjoying it. Yeah. It's not so bad. Yeah, it's like a little breath of fresh air.

One of the Culkins is also in it, I believe. It's coming after Scream 3, which has Jay and Silent Bob in it. Lest we forget, Jay and Silent Bob. Isn't that also, is Jenna McCarthy in that? Jenny McCarthy, isn't it? This is in the view of skewerverse. It is. How about that?

Dude, it actually, it starts getting like Tommy Westfall kind of a thing because I mean like, you connect. We go to a movie burger or whatever? Well, no, but it's like, that's four movies. The entire franchise is connected to Jane Silent Bob. You're right. Right? So like, there you go.

And what is Jane Silent Bob connected to? Dogma. So I guess Alanis Morissette is the God in this universe. It's an uncairing God in this universe. Letting all these things. teenagers get butchered. That's right. And somewhere George Carlin is a priest or a cardinal.

Isn't it ironic? Look at all these kids die. I don't know if that's true. That's like for the God for Jersey. Jersey just needs its own God. It needs its own God. This is West Coast, man. Oh, I see.

There's no God out there. But it might not be because they don't specify where this school is. Oh, no, but in three. In three, they are. Oh, they're back in L.A. Oh, of course. Screen 3 back in L.A. No, right. That would be a better title.

It's a great to... Give me the colon. Give me the colon, Star 69. Oh, man, I was going to say Star 69. Fuck. So, yeah, I don't know, man. Oh, the roommate gets butchered in the dumbest fashion. It takes forever because we have to get out of the car.

Ghostface was driving, I guess. And passed out, got a little drunk. Dude, the stabber is driving the car. Come on. He gets in the car accident and passes out. There's a stupid horn gag. Oh, yeah, because we're, like, crawling over him to get out of the car. Right.

And I mean, like, and this keeps happening in the first movie, like, anytime you kick this dude in the nuts, he went down. Right. And you'd punch him twice, and then you'd run away. No, no, no, no, no, no. Make his head jelly. Totally. Find a rock and let's make some jelly.

Get those Robert De Niro stoms happening. And then you worry about who's under the mask afterwards, because he's a murderer. Fuck him. Exactly. Fuck that fair trial. This dude's head needs to be jelly. Absolutely. So she, like, crawls out, and then, like,

like yes she gets stabbed or something right but it's the dumbest like they they both get out of the car successfully uh and then they're walking away they're walking away and nev campbell's like no i have to go back there and pull this fucking mask off i'm not going through this again and this roommate hallie is like um that's a terrible idea can we just go to the police no no no no no i got to go see what's going on under this mask and she goes back to the car nev campbell does and the dude's not there And it cuts to this shot. It's this very long, wide shot, and Hallie is there. And she's like, hey, what's going on?

And it's like, pause, pause, pause. And then the killer comes out and murders her. And you're like, well, of course. Can we do something about the editing here? But also, you can see that there's no one in the car from fucking 30 yards away. That dude got out. Like, what did he slump over? You don't need to get right up close to that car.

Also, like, after all this, I mean, yeah, Jerry O'Connell expires, fucking, she's dead. Like, all this grief. How is Neff Campbell not catatonic in the third one? Yeah, it's a big problem. It makes no sense. Because Hallie's death is her fault at this point. Oh, yeah, absolutely 100%.

This is like witness protection, change your name, go to a different world. Which she'll deal with the ketchup on the noodles. She has done in the third movie, though. She did? The third movie, she's like a crisis phone operator. Crisis actor? No, like one of those like suicide. Hotline. Wait, hold on. That's the same

girl from the other slayings. I think she's in three different series of slayings. You're telling me this woman is three different series of. Look at the footage. You see here now, Sidney Prescott again. She's coming around again. Folks. Are you telling me this is possible? Folks, folks, I got

this a leave commercial from 99 to 4. It clearly shows Sydney Prescott in the background. I'm looking at a series of Party of Five. Okay, party of five. She is a lead character

gang. I am telling you, it is crazy. I am watching my personal DVD copy of Robert Altman's, the company. She is right there. She's right there. Catch him in bed with a ghost face. Now freeze that frame.

Yep, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh. Yep, that is. She's apparently a very successful actress named Nev Campbell. She's hosting Saturday Night Live. Like, yeah. Oh, I got my producer, Dave in my ear. What's that? Oh, I'm

just talking about a movie. Her name is Neve Campbell and she hosts MTV's Kathy's. Don't be fooled, folks. She's got many aliases. Neff Campbell, Sydney Prescott, girl from party of five. I believe

that's Julie. Yeah. Okay. So this is now we have a plot hole problem here. Oh no. Because, too. So like Her roommate I got it by the way

This movie's dog shit Her roommate is Butchered in front of her eyes In like just a street In town I guess town was closed Yeah no No one's around

This massive car accident I feel like there may have been A dropped line somewhere About we're instituting a curfew Situation just like the first movie Or maybe there was a football game Because nobody gives her shit That all the people are dying

So who gives a fuck There was a parade The parade. But then she just, after that, she just randomly runs to the theater building. Why? Well, I think she's on in five minutes. David Warned, like, oh man, I hope she doesn't bail on me.

You're missing your curtain call. The press is here, and I mean the student paper. The press. Jodie from the student papers here. I bought all this satire. home for nothing. Look, I know it's a cash bar, but

what do you want me to do about it? Man. This is where Jerry O'Connell's displayed like Christ. Yeah, he's crucified. And then shot by Tim Oliphant. I mean, so this is like the gunplay in the first movie

happens like after the killer shit is revealed. This is like the mask is still on and this dude gets blown away. And I was like, whoa. It should have been like a knife gun. Dude, he's like driving cars and shooting guns? Yeah. It's fucked up. What are they going to do regulate cars? Come on. You can't regulate a truck,

dude. I would like to see that happening. What would that be? Like insurance and license plates and fucking tests? That's so stupid. Yeah. Where did this kid get a handgun? I mean, I guess it's America. It's America. It's everywhere. Vending machine.

So yes, it's revealed Timothy Ola. Oh, right. You can carry my gun, but I want it back. I know, okay, you have a race starting soon so you could take my gun to do the shot so everyone could run at the same time. I don't know why that boy asked if I had real bullets in my racing gun.

So yes, it's revealed that it's Tim Elephant, but what they do, it's kind of an interesting thing is that he's... Oh, actually, you know, I was wrong about the killing with the mask on. You're using the gun with the mask on because what he does that starts being kind of cool, is he starts fake

implicating Jerry O'Connell in it to fuck with Neve Campbell and I was like oh that's actually sort of an interesting move Denny just murders him though But don't they do that anyway in the first movie with Randy and I believe it's Stu where they're both like

It's him, it's him I saw it's him And then she looks She says fuck you both and locks the door Yes but I can close my eyes And repeat the entirety of scream If you want me to Oh sure so can I But that's why this is a little different though

It's because like it's revealed that he's the killer and then he's like yeah and your boyfriend is also doing it again and Jerry O'Connell's like what the fuck are you talking about and he's trying to be like you totally fucking this up for me right now yeah yeah I mean that's that's kind of what happens but then he just shoots him in the chest

and his heart explodes it's a pretty good shot it's a good effect yeah and again this poor Sydney Press guy she's done for because like her she could have saved her boyfriend and she doesn't yeah and then this dude's man yeah big problem

here because this dude's last words with his last breath he just whispers to her I would have never hurt you oh god that's kind of ending an argument like that's it that's leaving on a high note Mike Trop

Remember when I pulled your hand leaving that party and you said that I was hurting you I would have never hurt you like this just letting me think about that for the rest of your lives oh man and then so yeah Tim Olive fans like thing is like he's gonna blame the movies He got the speech about, like, the trial and how the trial is better than the movie,

trial of Billy Jack. And then he mentions how Bob Dole would defend him on the stand. Sure. Maybe. Maybe. Well, I don't know. Make it a damn good kid. Are you seen these transcripts?

I got it, by the way. T2 Judgment Day. Oh, Senator Dole. That one actually might be true. Yeah, no, definitely not. No? Oh, no, Terminator. Yeah, I think Terminator.

It should be Terminator 2 baby shit. Mm. That's me. It's baby. The action is way better in two, though. The action's better. It's better. It's better shots.

But the whole, like, as an entirety, Terminator one is better because the ending is really cool. Yeah. Okay. It's just darker. It's more interesting, I think. I like Terminator 2. I like it too. Yeah, I don't want to talk shit about Terminator 2.

But it's just the Edward Frul and there's just a lot of Edward Fruland. That is also a problem. Would it been better if it was just more Budnick? Yes. I don't know. Terminator 2, Budnick. The Budnick cut? No, Budnick Day.

Terminator 2 Budnick Day. No, I will not salute your shorts. All right, we have to put donkey lips his hand inside of this glass while he goes to sleep. He will be his pants. At all, here comes ag. Oh, look out, Halloween campers. It's Zeke de Plummer. The thing fell apart.

That is me singing the song. It makes me want to fart. It's I hope we never part. Get it right or pay the price. I wish I remembered anything about salute your shorts. You're totally fine. Yeah, you're good. But in the first one...

Hello, telly. Sorry. Telly. The, in the first movie, so their whole plan was that they were going to, like, sell the rights to, like, their story, right? No, they're just going to get a...

They're going to pin it on her dad. On her dad. But weren't they also going to, like, make a big deal about it, like, the book? Because they were going to be, like, the heroes. Yeah. Her dad in that first movie is pretty hilarious. Oh, yeah.

That guy's just tied up in a closet for the entire movie. That dude is in his own closet for, days. That's unfortunate. What's going on in here? All right, you're fucking kids of the pranks. Don't you fuck my daughter. Don't you fuck my daughter. So at this... Oh man, I was saving

those chips. This party's going on. I can't wiggle out of this thing. Oh, man. The curfew is broken. Oh, man. Everyone's grounded. I can't get out of this thing. So Lori Medcaf shows up at this

point. Oh, boy. Right. Well, they do take a bow. There's a little bit of a fake out here because, like, Tim Oliphant's, like, come on out here and the stage door opens. And Gail Wethers walks out and the audience is like, oh, and then immediately. A better twist. Well, yeah, of course. Like a character that you're invested in turns out to be the murderer. Yeah, writers are twisted.

Well, that's like the whole thing, right? Like the book sales were going to dry up eventually. I needed to have another story, but be, be, be, be. It would be cool that ended with her getting like the electric chair. That'd be cool. Oh, yeah. Yeah, totally. And then her spirit goes into a, I'll be back.

Yeah, her spirit goes into like a fucking motorcycle dude and she attacks spring break. That would be a reference to Craven's a shocker. I got it, by the way. Ghostbusters, too. No. Expelled. Oh, fucking, oh, man, I could, I was saving that wine. I can hear it being open.

Oh, you're watching my Halloween tape. You're watching it. That's mine. Get out of my movies. Not the cold pizza. That's my breakfast for a week. It's after 11. Everyone should be asleep.

It is after 11. Oh shit. He can't help but dad even though he's tied up. Dude, yeah. Once a dad always a dad. Dude, you're dead in 24-7. Dude, man, dad from beyond the grave. I'm sorry, you were saying.

Speaking of Halloween tape, Billy Loomis' mom. Loomis, man, the fucking use of that name in this franchise. It's so stupid. Just call him Vorhees and Kruger. Fucking, what is it? Nothing matters anymore, apparently.

That fucking janitor in the first movie played by West Craven. Yes, he's dressed as Kruger. And somebody calls him Fred. Yeah, it's just, that's a thud in that movie. Yeah. And yeah, but Loomis, it's not even a deep cut. Like that dude within seven movies. It's fucking right up in center.

It's ridiculous. A little West Craven fact from Screen 1 that I learned today. He likes horror movies? He did. Well, he might wherever he is. Whatever. Yeah, it's true. In the next dimension.

He, in order to get Drew Barrymore crying, he told her a bunch. He would like, just as she was acting, he would repeat, like, animal cruelty stories to get her, like, really upset. Oh, yeah. I think I heard about this. Hey, Drew, no, you're doing great. You're doing great. I was driving by. I saw this dog just cut in half.

It's tragic. You know what they do to a lot of gorillas? I was reading this thing about guerrilla. These poor gorillas, Drew. Have you heard about the production of Milo and Otis? You know, last night I ate a whole cat for dinner. I ate him from Till to skull. Yeah, ate the whole thing.

Wes Craven, huge Alf fan. I was during my Alf Cosplay, I ate a cat. Then I beat a bunny to death. Loved Roger and me. Hey, you like Michael Moore? Do you like Michael Moore movies? Oh my God.

What's your favorite Michael Moore movie? Sicko, wrong answer. Oh, fuck so. She gives this whole speech about how he was a good boy and blah, blah, blah. Apparently she lost a lot of weight, which kind of covers up the platform why everyone's like, oh, isn't like, also, Gail Weathers talks to this woman nonstop. Like, what research did you do on your book when the guy who, when Jeffrey Dahmer's mother is just like, hi, how are you doing? Remember that book you wrote about Jeffrey Dahmer? You know, here's the thing.

I know from like, you know, the video for The Hook, what John. Popper used to look like. Yeah. Sure. And now I see like stomach stapled John Popper. I only see the fat one. And I'm like Hey, it's definitely still just John Popper. Exactly. You know what I mean? Like it's so stupid. Oh shit. Lost a bunch of

people who don't remember what John Popper looked like or looks like. I only remember the fat guy. Well, I haven't seen him much. It's just a really stupid lazy thing. She would have contacted her for an interview or something. She would know. Someone would know. Dewey might know.

Yeah, exactly. It would be cool if he knew something. Well, there's some toss away line where she's like, oh, I had like my hair done or something like that. I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Somebody knows a makeover. A makeover. So what was it? Was it the fucking, was she the joker?

Like, what the fuck? You have to. Lori Maccaf being handed a mirror in a chair. Mirror. Mirror. No, she used to look like Clive Owen, and then she got a new face here in Sin City. Oh, man, that's stupid. Yeah, it is. Uh, yeah, it's totally unbelievable.

I mean, it would be a dumb line, but you have to have her, say, like, thousands of dollars in plastic stuff. Yes. Like, you have to. Because saying that someone lost 60 pounds and got a haircut does not an identity change. Um, and she winds up talking about how she met Mickey on the psycho internet question mark. Oh, yeah. those message boards, dude. Psychosites, man, because

the internet is the scariest place of all. Ain't it cool news? She was Moriarty the whole time. It's the twist. So, yeah, she winds up, I don't know, killing a bunch of people. Well, she kills, she shoots Tim Oliphant

down and she's like, oh, that whole blame the movie's idea, that was certainly stupid. Guess what? Wait for all of the other people to be dead before you start killing off your co-conspirators. Yeah, totally. And also just, like, kill everybody. Yes. Stop just holding a gun on people.

Let's have some follow-through. Let Nev Campbell die not knowing. That's fine. Just shoot her in the God-im head. Then it's like Deiasex Cottonweary. He just shows up for the play or something? Well, also... Hey, I had a ticket.

What's going on? This British guy was really aggressive and really wanted me to go to this. I don't know. I somehow got suckered into buying four tickets. I have no friends. Well, the funny thing is, also, like, let's go back to Mrs. Loomis for a second. She's like, oh, my God. Good point.

She's like, oh, my God, I can't believe they killed this stupid bitch killed my baby or whatever she says. Right. Go wait for her to get out of fucking class and then shoot her in the head. And then that's it. No ghost face. You're to kill Sarah Michelle Geller or anybody else. Well, see, I feel like that part of it. is Mickey's part, right?

But listen, you're stuck on a team with a bad teammate who's got his own ideas about where this project is going to go. And you've got to come to a compromise. Don't even bother going on the serial killer message board. Go to a bar in New Jersey. Find enough fat guys. One of them will be a hired hitman.

You pay him $700. You give him a picture of NEPCamp. $700. What do you have a coupon? You can fit into the costume? I don't. You don't need the costume. Honestly, just you do it. They're going to find out eventually.

Just do it. Drop the theatricality. Yeah, just go straight revenge. Just kill people. And really, you were sold on killing this one person by saying you have to kill 15 other people. That was the sale you took? You know what? Maybe start with number one and work your way back.

Make sure you get what you want first. Exactly. Like I get it, you might want Jamie Kennedy in there too. Yeah, sure. Oh, sure. Just classic revenge. That's the beauty of that murder is who could have done it anyone?

Everyone wanted him dead. Everybody's a suspect. So, like, yeah, Cottonweary. He shows up and, yeah, he's, yeah, great point. It doesn't make sense why he's there. No idea. Everyone's just attracted to this theater. I think it's the buzz around this production.

Oh, wow, yeah. You see that professor sunk 30 large into that production? We got to see this thing, dang. I got to see this. Yeah, he shows up right now. after Nev Campbell, like, turns on all the special effects to fool Lori Metcalf? Boy, is that dumb. It's just, like, come on.

Like, the lightning flashes, and she's, like, shaking the metal sheet to make thunder, and then a bunch of fake rocks fall. It's fucking stupid. And Cottonweary wants, is, like, basically his character is, like, a son of a bitch kind of, like, you know, a fame seeker kind of a dude. Well, to his, to be fair to him, though, like, he has. nothing. He spent a year in jail. His whole reputation was tarnished. It's probably impossible for him to get a job.

He was exonerated, but he needs, he wants to be his name cleared at a more public setting. He wants, he should have just went to porn, man. Oh, Codewary could have done some porn. Definitely. I'd watch that shit. Then you work your way up to producer. Star 69 fucking anything. So, yeah,

she also gets murdered. And then, like, Timola fan comes back, and Neve Campbell and Courtney Cox, like, blow this dude away. To be fair, Cotton's funny thing is that he's not sure if he's going to kill Lori Metcalf or Nev Campbell because, like, Lori Metcalf is like, I'll give you anything you want, I swear. And then, like, the only reason he does it is to get a Diane Sawyer interview. Yeah, with Nev Campbell. Yeah, like, she agrees. She's like, fine, I'll do it. And he's like, okay, cool, let's murder Lori Metham.

Let's murder Aunt Jackie. And then it's fucked up, though, because you see some Nev Campbell. bloodlust here. Like, Lori McHaff is laid the fuck out. And she just, like, comes up and puts one right in her head before any kind of, like, secret scare. And then you see, like, Cottonweary

and Courtney Cox are like, uh, God, that was a little unnecessary. I honestly would prefer the Frost Nixon esk movie about this interview that's going to happen with these two people and Diane Sawyer. Start the movie

right at the end of the, like right here. Start it here. And then maybe I like this movie. Well, we do get one last scare from Mickey. He comes up and goes, and he gets shot, which makes no sense because, like, Mickey just spent a whole hour talking about how he wants to go to trial.

If you're still bleeding, lay there, dude. Exactly. Waited out, wait for it. And then when you hear medics go, I need medical attention. No, sequel rules dictate. I must do one last scare. My mortal life be damned.

I must adhere to sequels. And then we just end with David Arquette being like carted out to an ambulance because he somehow survived the Mr. Burns 21 stab wounds in the back. Yeah. Somebody chose the right cup and it just happened. I'm sure there's an alternate cut where he's just fucking dead. And that makes sense. Like at least that's something.

Of course it does. Of course that makes sense. That would be awesome. Yeah. And then like Courtney Cox has some like. I really like this guy but I kept denying him all these times because it just didn't work out for me

Right she's grown a heart That's like yeah that's the big thing Joel comes up is like hey you got the biggest story in the century Here it comes and she's like no I'll just take the millions of dollars I've already made off of murder Exactly No it's okay I'll do this one

And then it's just like a copter shout of Nev Campbell Walking on campus alone to end the film It's still open campus Is people still fucking going to class? Dude, school is in session, man. People are paying for this shit. Jesus. Will the theater be cleaned before tomorrow night?

Look, I'll wipe the blood up myself. Actually, wait, let's use it. Can I use it? Sidney, you'll be back for the performance tomorrow, right? Matinees at 2 p.m. Is there any insurance on the theater? Perhaps we can have ourselves a fire safe. Oh, no, I'm ruined.

And that's the end of the movie. Would anybody recommend Scream to The Stabbinning? I still have a soft spot for this movie. It's not great. It's definitely way too long. It's the second best scream movie. I don't like the fourth one. And the third one's absolutely hot trash.

So it's the second best scream movie. Steve's wrong. This movie fucking sucks. Like, and I will give you, like, up until like maybe five years ago when I rewatch this I had the same feeling now clearly the fourth one is much better the third one might even be better

honestly because at least that at least like we're gonna no rules really no rules whatever the fuck and like this it's just all this talking and all this stupid shit that like slows down the pace slows down the kills it slows everything down it's not scary oh my god

it's just kind of a comfort food movie for me for whatever reason. If that was Wonderbred only. I would not recommend it. And yes, you might have noticed I missed some parts of the movie this go. In my defense, I was getting over a really bad cold when I watched this movie. And we all had fun along the way anyway. Oh, shit, dude.

Did you watch this hept up on goofballs? I did. I watched this hept up on Hoosah Budges and getting ready to, but I will star 69 one day. With Bow Bridges. Yeah, I would not recommend this. I didn't like it then. I don't like it now. I have to recommend it as a self-professed screamhead.

Ditto. But I will say, man, I'm with Cabin. I think it's a one for it, but two, three. Yeah. I think three is still the hottest of trash. And I mean, come on, Cabin. I cannot get over a fucking Jay Insylum Bob cameo. Because, well, that is the proof that they don't care anymore.

Like they're letting everything go. And I respect that. over this shit. Well, why don't you let it go, Chris? I'm now. That's what this was. I got it, by the way. Joe Dirt, too, were he time travels for some reason. That's Scream 2

from 1997 directed by the late great West Craven. If you want more WHM, check out our website, WHMpodcast.com, or find us over on the Headgum Network or, hey man, check out that Patreon for more WHM content, patreon.com slash we hate movies. Now, next week, the

Halloween spooktacular continues with a what? Saw. Oh, shit. Wait, what'd you saw? What'd you see? No, no, it's Saw the movie. Saw the movie with Carrie Elway's and Danny Glover. By looking you're introducing

a Monday matinee. Tobin Bell, we'll be right back after this. So until next week with, oh my God, I hate this franchise, Saw One. I'm Andrew Juppin, Stephen Sadek, Chris Cabin. Eric Siska.

Take it easy. We all go a little mad sometimes. You know, it's Halloween. I guess everyone's entitled to one good scare. Sometimes. That is better. Zombies have entered the building. They're at the door.

They're coming in. time to keep your appointment with the wicker man they're coming to get you barbara he's sick for fucks he's seen one too many movies now said don't you blame the movies movies don't create psychos movies make psychos or create a what's a fucking losion in the bag was an excellent day for an exorcism that was a hit gum podcast Thank you.