We Hate Movies - S8 Ep337: Episode 337 - Going in Style

Episode Date: January 30, 2018

On this week's episode, the gang brings (Some of) The Worst of 2017 month to a close with a conversation around Zach Braff's Going in Style! Why do these old fellas insist on debasing themselves with these trash films? Why opt for multiple "straight man" character actors and leave all the comedy to the single comedian in the main cast... of this comedy? And how long can the gang go without falling into the dreaded Arkin/Alda trap? PLUS: Coming this fall from WHM Entertainment, Alan Alda, Alan Arkin, Michael Caine, Morgan Freeman, and a shit ton of other elderly character actors come together for the Expendables of geriatric comedies... Funny Funeral!  Going in Style stars Alan Arkin, Morgan Freeman, Michael Caine, Ann-Margaret, John Ortiz, Josh Pais, Matt Dillon, Joey King, Peter Serafinowicz, Maria Dizzia, Christopher Lloyd, Kenan Thompson, and Siobhan Fallon Hogan; directed by Zach Braff. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The final episode of the Some of the Worst of 2017 month. We're concluding it with Zach Braffs going in style. I'm Andrew Jupin, Stephen Sadek. Chris Cabin. Eric Siska. And we hate movies. Hello everyone. Welcome to We Hate Movies. Thank you for tuning in, as always. Like I snored up front, Zach Braff's going in style is today's episode from, of course, 2017.

Who keeps letting him direct stuff? Well, this is only his third movie ever. Yeah, that's my point. But it's also. It's also. kind of weird because he started with Garden State, which I still say is stay tuned. You can all come back and come at me on Twitter because that movie fucking sucks. I just don't feel like fucking watching it. Yeah, that's kind of

my issue. That's fair. I left that movie in 2003 where it belonged with the shins. Buried in a shins shaped box. Shins are still making records, man, and I'm fine with that. I just don't need to revisit that. I'm still making movies, man.

That was the first that was that and then the second one was a similar kind of a follow-up called what last kiss or the first kiss wish you were no see he didn't direct the last oh yeah that's a Tony what's his name it's a Tony Goldwyn movie

Tony Goldwyn directed that oh weird it's a remake of a French film I think yeah now what did he direct let's go through the filmography that who BRAF or Goldwyn we're not talking about Goldwyn we're talking about he directed he directed fucking Garden State

then he's crowdfunded on Indie Go-Go or Kixiters. The movie with Charles Groton and somebody's in a wheelchair or something. Josh Gadd is his brother. No, Charles Grodden in a wheelchair. Charles Gordon in a wheelchair is the, that's that movie with the X. The X. Oh, right.

That's Jason Bateman in a wheelchair. That's a broad, big box comedy that nobody wanted. Okay, but is Zach Braff affiliated with that movie? He's the other guy. Okay, thank, all right. So my brain isn't too much of motion. I'm pulling up the goddamn mind. There's only three movies Zach Brad directed.

What was the Kickstarter one? Wish you were here. And what is that about? Wish I was here. Wish I was here. And then going in style. And then going in style. But what, so who is in the second movie?

So, Kate Hudson is in it. Josh Gad is in it. Oh, God. I forget who the parents are. Yeah. And like, there aren't kids like where. Mandy Patankan's the father. I think the kids are wearing like space helmets for some reason.

Like that I remember. It's horrendous. I saw it. It's absolute. So, but those were of a kid. Oh. Oh, also the other guy from Scrubs. Oh, I can't remember.

Donald Faison. Yeah, I don't think Faison, of course. But those were of a piece, right? Like, they're very similar, like, you know, lo-fi, indie doopy, dopa, da-da-ba. Yes, like, indie dupe, doppy-dibah, exactly. You know what I mean? Like, everyone's just sitting around, like,

talking about their fucking feelings while a cool song plays. Exactly. Or whatever. That's when he built his fucking career. Everyone gets in Schmaltz. And everyone gets at a fucking car, a side car, and wears the cool helmet or whatever nonsense.

But this is like... Wow, see, when Wes Anderson does it, everyone loves it. Well, you got to have talent first. You start there and then you move forward. When Wes Anderson does it, there's nobody on the soundtrack going, drink up, baby down. Oh, are you in or are you out? Where is it?

Fly and fuck that song was you had to listen to out your ass. This is why I'm saying garden to stay tuned. But this is a very weird turn for Zach Brab. It's a movie about old people. that is just... Violent old people. Violent old people. Underlined violent old people. That is so anonymous and so like...

I don't know. Like, was... Why did he direct this? I think because he saw the original, which is George Burns, Art Carney and... What's his face? Audrey Meadows! No, she was dead at the time. Anyway, it's three old dudes there.

It's the same thing. I think he just saw this movie. Yes, Lee Straussberg. Thank you. I think he just saw that movie on TCM one day and was like, hey, I can do that. This is all they'd give him. I mean, they kickstarted that last thing, and it's a piece of garbage. It's like, oh.

Now, you saw Wish I was here. Yes, I did. And please, your report. He just said like five minutes ago that it was terrible. Yeah, but I want to, I don't know, I want to hear more about it. Why was it bad? It's extremely white, not unlike Garden State. It's extremely white.

And it's about like a dysfunctional family. Yeah. That's hopeful even though they always fuck up. I'm tired of like the wealthy white family boohoo movies and I'm sorry that Meyerowitz stories included

yeah I know I haven't gotten up to watch it I really like that movie I really like that movie too I know I know I know then all the Dustin Hoffman grabbing butt stuff came out and I was like you know that's even last well then you should watch it though because that movie's totally him just getting shit on by life

that's fun well yeah because those are like pickled and like they're like there's some on yeah sure sure his it's always cutesy horse shit like that's the problem you know the cutesy horse shit in garden state where his mom fell on that open dishwasher and was stabbed by all those upright knives I'm telling you

it's a stay tuned telling you I don't want to watch it again we're workshopping it right now so you have Jim Parsons in a night outfit you know what I'm saying do you hear what I'm saying or is that Peter Scars guard I don't

I think it's Peter Sarsgaard well isn't Jim Parsons in that that movie? He might be. I've actually never finished it. Dustin Hoffman and Star Wars? This movie, it's Morgan Freeman, Michael Kane, and Alan Arkin, they are three old friends that

want to rob a bank and that should be it, but we're also like just saw Heller High Water. Well, that's what I was going to say. This movie is Heller High Water with fucking cute old guys. Yes, exactly. It's exactly what they've been shit on by the banks. I like a couple of cute old guys. Oh, they're cute, man.

I mean, that's, and that's why like I can see why this movie was made. It was made. It would appeal to certain people because it's just that like, it's a cute, fun old guy thing. It's fucking pathetic, man. I wish all these people did what Gene Hackman did and decided, you know what? I'm going to have dignity. Welcome to Mooseport. Didn't go

the way I planned. I am leaving. Welcome to Lowe's, by the way, but that's it. But that's all you're going to get. You've got to keep the lights on. Like, do you really, like, would you really want to like be, go from like, get, Carter to being like I'm a little old man that doesn't know what I'm doing

At this point Michael Kaine has said yes to so many Ray Romano movies I love Ray Romano That's a genre by the way Ray Romano doesn't have to be in it comedic genius and I won't hear a thing of it The man is brilliant

I will eat half a sandwich with Ray Ramon But the other thing is Do we think Daniel Dale Lewis has done? Do we actually? No. Because that would be, that's the move, to Eric's point.

Like, get out while the fucking iron is hot. So now I was saying, Daniel N. Lewis is probably going to act in another movie. That means eventually he'll be like a cute little old man in a movie. He'll be like an old scientist in Michael Bay's last movie. Oh, my God. That's something. Man, a sentence like that, someday we'll be able to say Michael Bay's last movie.

It's going to have a transformer in it. It's got to. It absolutely has to. But it's a quiet bank robbery comedy, but there's an old transformer. No, no, no, no. His last movie will be an adaptation of Walden, clearly. There's so many explosions in that adaptation. Guy has to build a transformer in the woods.

Man, when the cabin exploded? So we're in Brooklyn. Welcome to Brooklyn. And Brooklyn's own Michael Kane. And what steel foundry in Brooklyn are we talking about? That is open up to it, including 2017. Yeah, hipsters should be living in that place by now. You guys clearly have not heard of the underground foundries beneath Red Hood. I had no idea.

Yeah, I mean, what is this? What is this steel mill where the fucking end of Terminator 2 happened? Listen, there is a fucking steam mill like this in Red Hood. You know what they do there now? They make fucking key lime pie in it. I'm dead fucking serious. Then the Terminator gave a thumbs up as he was descending into the key lime. And the other half of it is like canoe tours

Or something of the fucking channel A fucking canoe tour I'm trying to make a goddamn sword here I need the vacation And the pie Sorry everybody There's one more chip So we open

He goes to It's a pretty famous bank in Brooklyn This place is great It's not a bank anymore It's a landmark place in downtown Brooklyn They have flea markets there now too Speaking of things Yeah, I went there.

There was an awesome, like, flea market heist. It was like a brewery tour thing. All these breweries came in and set up little stations and you just went around drinking. That's fun. A ticket was like $50.

It was like Brooklyn Beer Fest or something. One of the best days of my life. So it's a big old school bank. It's called Williamsburg Bank, which is fake. Fake is fuck. And Michael Kane is there to meet with Josh Pace. Everyone's favorite, Josh Pace.

Everyone's favorite Law & Order SVU fucking scumbags. Well, he orders his tomato bisque and a bread bowl and his half salad. So the teller gives him a buzzer shake. Yeah, oh, that's right. Dude, those things give me anxiety. I get that thing. I'm like, oh, shit, when is it going to go off? It's a ticking time bomb.

You know what I hate about it is it's like, oh, thanks for all the germs. Like, oh, you just hear, here's like, it's the restaurant handing me a used Kleenex before I could sit down. You know what I hate about it is if I have one of my hand, it means I'm either eating at a Panera bread or an Applebee's and I'm fucking six steps away from suicide. Well, I think somehow somebody is calling me on my phone and I'm like, nobody's supposed to do that. Yeah, exactly.

Nobody is supposed to be doing that. Hello? Yeah, Michael Cain has to be explained how this thing works. It's 2017, you've seen this before. You've been to this bank before. But it's never been at a bank. No.

This is for restaurants only. This is to show you... Cheap restaurants only. This is to show you the madness that we've descended in as a society. You're right. And back in the good old days, right? White man walks into a bank, they throw a parade.

But to Eric's point, it is supposed to be this, because he's like, where do I wait? And the guy's like, you can wait over in our customer lounge. And it's like two shitty chairs and a table with some bank pamphlets on it. With a pamphlet that says, are you dying today or something? I will say, Josh Pace, who's coming up, is, has given one of my favorite performances of all time in film. in this movie No no no not in this film No no not in this movie

No no not in this movie but he's He played Raphael in the first Ninja Turtles movie That's right In the costume or the voice The voice Oh come on Michael Angelo Yeah I'm gonna go to this porno theater You watch a movie

I love that Ray Romano Ray Romano should have been a voice Of one of them turtles in that ninja thing Oh Josh you're great You did Raphael right Oh the original Before it got all shitty, right? I love all three of the movies.

I do. The time one's a bit of a stretch, but I still watch them at least twice a year. Man, that would be great if Michael Kane was like a huge Ninja Turtles thing. He did the director's commentary. I was 58 years old, and I loved the Ninja Turtles.

It is never too late in life to fall in love with a turtle. They're named after Renaissance painters, but they talk like they're from Brooklyn. Oh, it's just, it's a delight. Yes, this fall, we will be publishing Michael Cain's 17th study of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle movies on BFI Press. In related news, Michael Cain has been committed. Welcome back to my Ninja Turtles podcast.

Oh, fuck yes. Visiting hours are over. Cain in a half shell. Now, I always wanted to play the rat king, right? So, yeah, so he goes into Josh Pace's office, and he's got a yellow notice, which means his mortgage is up. And apparently his pension isn't, he's not getting his checks, he's not sure why.

And Josh Pace sold him like a subprime loan. Yeah, this is a real 2008 movie. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But so this whole thing happens. And while he's getting the fucking. raw deal from this bank it gets robbed. Yes. By like, I don't know, fucking...

Some real smooth criminals, I have to say. The Joker and his gang, they come in. Victor comes out, you and your friends are dead! Oh, that would be awesome. It really would be. This is like one of the smoothest bank robberies I've ever seen. It's like in and out. And you see Michael Kane looking like, my God.

That's some professional shit. He does... The bank robbers make everyone get on their back. like a cat. So Josh Pace is doing that. And Michael Cate's like, I can't fucking do. Can't, excuse me, bank robber? And he starts pissing himself.

Yeah, Josh Pace pisses himself. Now Michael Caine. Michael Cade did that in between takes. Well, that's, there is no, I mean, I guarantee you this, there was a diaper joke in the script. They're like, all three of the leads are like, we're not doing that. Cut it the fuck out. I empty a bag. I do not have a diaper.

empty a bag like he's proud of it bag boy I have someone to change my bag do you think that what assistant to Mr. Kane means yes absolutely oh and also this

Robert definitely like takes sympathy on him too yes he's like you know he very pointedly says a society should respect and take care of its elderly which is actually a real thing in case I was wondering that's a tenant of how we should be living we don't live that way true Were pieces of shit.

Did anybody else think this was Zach Brad? Like, I did. I was certain. Doing the voice. I totally did. I thought it was Bradley Whitford. Big here for him. Get out and going in style?

It was a last. I just pulled it. You know what? It turned out to be wrong. So the way after you looked at me, I wish everyone could experience once in their life. That's the moment we fell in love. Because it doesn't really look like eventually you find out

It's supposed to be, spoiler alert, John Ortiz. Yes. Yeah, the dude helps them later in the movie. But it's like when he speaks, it's like clearly ADR. But Zach Braff has another ADR later in the film, though. Does he really? Yeah, he does. He plays the anesthesiologist when Morgan Freeman is having surgery and he goes to put

like the gas mask over him. That's Zach Braff, like, talking. But not, it's not his corporeal body. You don't, I mean, you just see the back. The cup going over his face. shot is like the POV of Morgan Freeman and you see the the gas mask like going down on it? Now is the time to talk about. Zach Braff two years ago had his consciousness turned into the internet.

So like Zach Brown. Yeah. So he has no longer a body. He called the Graf's send it. And nobody saw that either. Man, Wally Fister won and done. Jesus Christ. What a flub.

Get behind the camera again. Say hello to HBO. Isn't he all over fucking Westworld? directing? I think he is. I don't know. Well, if he is, good for him. So Matt Dillon on the scene as what I thought was initially a detective, but like, is this the FBI? I think he's the FBI

because of the bank robbery. Oh, sure. I thought I was being visited by a ghost. I haven't seen Matt Dillon in a movie in a long time. I was thinking the same thing. You know, like, why has Kevin Dillon replaced Matt Dillon in my head? That's an unfair point. that we're at in our society

where people will look at Matt Dillon and go, oh, cool, it's Kevin Dillon's brother. Oh, man. Fuck. That sucks. Well, they look like they found him in the abandoned Wayward Pines set. Before every fucking take, it's line.

I think you're right. Because he just does not give a flying... I don't think anyone really cares about this movie, which is a big problem of it. Like, there's... Cain's in low speed. Arkin's doing Arkin. Arkin's going to Arkin is fucking great. dude and like this is a this is one of the biggest problems with this movie

is Arkin is the only one who's a comedian. Yes. And he's working in this comedy and he's being brilliant Alan Arkin like he is an ever like Alan Arkin is one of those comedians he just has to speak and it's fucking hilarious and he knows like each tone to hit at the right time even in this movie

like I really I don't like this movie I think Alan Arkin is really good in this movie because that's the thing is like it's the original was George Burns Arcarney and Lee Strasberg so I guarantee you that movie's fucking funny And this is like two dramatic actors and one comedian, and the two dramatic actors hate this movie. Yeah. Very clearly.

Like, Kane doesn't give his shit and Freeman does not give any bit of a fuck. Alan Arkin's just happy to be out of the house. Oh, I took the bus here. It's great. No, Alan Arkin doesn't ride the bus. So in, oh, actually one thing that Kane notices is that there's this very pointed, like a Genghis Khan tattoo on the one of the bank robbers. I'll think if you find this tattoo, you're going to find the rubbers.

Right. And Dylan's like, yeah, whatever, next. And then he runs with it. Yes. Why does no one look for the fuck? Like, they're like, oh, we've got to find the tattoo artist. How about the mask? Who the fuck bought that mask?

Yeah, that's a very specialized like SWAT team mask or something. Especially later in the movie when they're like, I don't know who could have done it. When I mean, we're getting ahead of our sense. Sure. But Michael, they, they. they have rat pack masks later in the movie and no one thinks to track down the masks. You know, it's incredibly difficult

the year of 2017 to get a fucking Sammy Davis Jr. Yeah, but it's such a fucking specific thing. Sinatra, Davis Jr. and Martin masks are like, that's a fucking purchase, man. Yeah, okay, maybe three people bought those in a year. Yeah, exactly. Those three masks together like that. And yeah, Frank Sinatra Mask may be okay,

you're going to get a fucking dean martin and sammy davis junior ass i think so that's special order that's like that's etsy shop that is strictly for orgies totally well they do it more more for any reason just to tell like michael kane michael kane is always right yeah yeah that's the whole point of it is that old people are always right and michael kane is always right is especially always he's the rightest old person to ever be right certainly smarter than that goddamn FBI agent that guy's dumb So the Cain's deal is he lives

With his daughter and her and her Her child His daughter is the woman From Orange the New Black Yes The friend and then the daughter She's been in a bunch of child She's in that wish I was here

You know what my wife pointed out This girl's from She is young Talia Al Ghoul And fucking Dark Night Rises Oh wow Yeah Morgan Freeman and Michael came Like all right

We gotta get We gotta get it She's great. Have you ever seen a little movie called The Dark Night Rise? Inch, Inch, Ossa, Ossar, Inch, Ossar, Inch, Ossar. I love two things.

The Ninja Turtles and The Dark Night Rise. It's my favorite one of the whole series. Yes, it's too long. Yes, way too much stuff happens. But it is my favorite one of the whole series. Man, I rewatched that trilogy recently because I got them all in like 4K Blu-ray. They're all good in different ways.

But Jesus, that third one is so goddamn long. So much. Way too much happens. I put it on like a Saturday morning and then the next thing I knew it was dinner time. I couldn't even believe it. Tuesday night came around.

Oh, that was just because I passed out for days. And you're just sitting there and Killian Murphy's holding court and you're like, does this need to be in this movie? I kind of like that movie. I like it. I think they're all great. I actually really love.

I watched them a couple years ago. I love all those movies. But that movie's just probably a little too long. So yeah, they live at the house with Michael Kane. because the daughter is like separated from the father or the husband rather so she's like she works in like she's a nurse

or medical professional she has one and a half scenes so it doesn't matter you see you're wearing scrubs so that's like the thing so that's their life the house is going to go under of course he's not telling anybody and again like in the original and I've only read the Wikipedia but it sounds so much better than this it there is no like oh put upon old they're just old guys that are sick of it you know what i mean

like it's like we're old why not go out with a bang you know what i mean like we're not do it it's no sob story it's just like i'm old i'm tired of it it's a it's a martin breast movie too and they all live together they have to adapt it to add the sob story because our country is crumbling and the income gap and old people are just bones they have to justify all this stuff and like that and they get away I mean like spoiler they get the fuck away with it yes and like yeah they do what they try to do like a Robin Hood thing to sign like

just let old people let old people be dirt bags exactly like yeah like these yeah three is god three old dudes they should all be horny they should all be like weirdos they're all fucking Ann Margaret not just Alan Archin and they are all at home watching Fox News all

fucking day long yeah you're damn right I'm gonna need 12 dirty grandpa Yeah, I don't know that it needs to be to that extreme With that De Niro character But like, yeah, just let them be fucking scuzzy dudes But the other problem is Helen Harkin and Morgan Freeman don't show up for 30 minutes into the movie

Like there's just so much cane time There's a lot of cane time And so we finally get the three of them together And man, I fucking love this They're playing Bachi ball I love Bacchie Ball I love Bacchie Ball too And it's so much fucking fun And I'm not even an old Italian

Well the thing is they almost play Bocci Ball And I'm like it I played bocce ball I ran a bocce ball tournament in that's about as Italian as it gets Was it in the Bronx? It was in Westchester

Close enough Very close Your criminal youth When I was working at a country club Me and my buddy Had to put on a bunchie ball tournament For a group of gentlemen Known as the Moles

Because they were all like diggers and stuff Like they called them They all slept underground We got to I got tip like 200 bucks was great. Were they Chuds? No, they're just old Italian dudes. Like, they go like on the beach

like combing for shit? No, no, I think I believe that they were like literally like they dug like they were construction dudes that they were dug they called themselves the mole. But they were still on the take with the mafia.

I was gonna ask Steve, did you run a book for this tournament? No, I did not run a book. Actually, that's funny though because my first encounter with Bachi Ball was I grew up going to an Italian Catholic

church and in the basement of the Sunday school building This one time it was like You got out of class That's where the screams kept coming from there Dude no What was this an Alex Gibney documentary It was like

You're fucking around after class Or whatever your parents didn't pick you up yet And I went down in the basement And they had This was amazing A botchy ball court In this basement A fucking cigar walk in humidore

A bunch of old Italians sitting around smoking cigars In this basement reading the newspaper That church was mobbed up Maybe. Was your priest, Richard M. Nixon? No,

but my priest was an Italian who slapped kids in the face. Yeah, you'll do that. So we got to introduce them. They're playing Batchie ball and they're in some part of a league and they want to play against

Christopher Lloyd. Christopher Lloyd is basically doing the Reverend Jim. Yeah. Like he's doing the Reverend Jim character had Reverend Jim live through the 70s, which he clearly would not have. Yes, he has class A.

not unlike our president yeah no totally this Christopher Lloyd character would run the country better but it's just it's another sad thing man because I know that Christopher Lloyd has his faculties about him but it's sad seeing him play this and imagining like shit is that what happened

to Doc Brown man that's the thing is like retire stop taking these old dumb roles well Christopher Lloyd I think for the most part like he was in that fucking I'm not a serial killer movie last year I did not I did not see it. It's not good. It's good until it's very not good. But he was also in a piranha

movie. He was a doctor in a piranha movie. It wasn't piranha double D. It was the first one. The most recent film I've seen him in is a film called Santa Puddies, which is of the buddies franchise where he plays a crooked old dog catcher. Yeah. Really? Yeah. He does a lot of voice work, but he also famously just does, I don't, he lives like somewhere in New England something, something and he does a lot of like community theater really that's his bag as he does local theater so when he pops up in these movies I'm like oh payment on the beach

house is due huh I've never been to Abitha before come on and Morgan Freeman's deal is he is his his daughter and his granddaughter live far away he never gets to see them and he's also like in the worst

of health and then Alan Arkin is just kind of a crank and he wants to fuck Ann Margaret and Margaret, by the way. Looking fucking fantastic in this movie. Anne Margaret was the love interest for old men 25 years ago when grumpy old men came out. Yeah, you're totally right.

It was the same fucking role. It's been a fucking 25th. She buried those old fucks and she's still doing it. It's amazing. It's amazing. She's like fucking Rosalbool. She's an immortal. It's fantastic.

I want to see Anne Margaret's fucking swimming pool she has in her living room. Exactly. like, dude, she's going to play, it's going to be Her Lazarus Pit. Bruce, take this blue rose. She's going to play the old lady interest in a Tom Hardy fucking movie in 20, fucking 31.

It's just like, oh, I'm romancing that that sweet, sexy older lady across the street who's Anne Margaret, who's a thousand years old at that point. Produced by the estate of Chips Hardy. Oh, I have one last film for Old Chips. Oh, Chipos making another movie From Beyond the Gravee is Yeah, it's amazing

And Margaret's immortal By the way, Chip's Hardy was a character Invented on the Nexus So check out our Patreon Oh, that's right Because we just randomly talked about taboo Yes And Margaret, what was I say?

Oh, Alan Arkin Also Not at all famous jazz saxophonist Is the idea? Do with that way you will like a lifetime gigger. Yeah, yeah, totally. Just one of behind the scenes dudes,

never got his dude. We only learned that from a fat kid scene. What you call him the business of fat kids? Get me a fat kid. We're going to make fun of him for five minutes. And he's like doing sax bad. And, you know, he's like, oh, it's Alan Arkin just like totally dressing down this kid

like being like, look, the sooner you admit this is not for you, the faster you can get on with your life. Yes. And the kid's like very thankful because he doesn't want to be playing the saxophone anyway. He says it straight out He do saxophone bad

And Anne Margaret I think is the grandmother Of this kid is the idea Yeah yeah yeah So you know That's how they know each other And like so Michael Kane Goes over to watch the Bachelor

Which is a scene You know what? This is the Bachelorette by the way Oh those are the Bachelorette I apologize Come on But not only is it a scene But there are more than one scene Of them just watching TV

And it does You know what And it's not like the starter end of a scene it is like we get like Beavis and Butthead with fucking Michael Kane and Morgan Freeman

and Alan Arkin like twice at least twice in this movie Eric what do you think old people are doing of course they're watching The Bachelorette that's most of the Bachelorette's fucking audience But it's supposed to be funny because they're like the three of them are like really into it and Morgan Freeman's like

no way you got to pick Joe it's got to be John Doe he's got the upper hand in this game he did turn himself in uh yeah a little uh chris hanson uh what do you call it there cameo that guy fucking i just feel like that's a dude that fucks people over in wills like you know what i mean

that's how he got his fortune to make the bachelor wait chris hanson is working on the bachelorette no what's that guy's name i think it's is it a manson was the guy that like oh that's right with sexual predators oh okay oh hey there michael cane why don't you have a seat on this on this stool what are you doing here with this backpack full of condoms and wine coolers. That's Chris Hansen.

He has to be stopped. Hold on. What would Michael Kane be doing with that? Oh, any number of things. I'm here for a good time. Chris Harrison, I apologize. So wait, who is this guy here? That's the host? The host of The Bachelor. He's the host and producer

of the Bachelor. He's a gazillionaire. I haven't seen a second of those shows. That shit's fucking toxic. It is tough. It's tough to sit through. Shut your mouth. It's Pretty good. I don't know. It keeps me entertained.

It's kind of weird. There's almost no black contestants ever. Except for last season. Except for that one time when it got super racist real quick. Yeah, it sure did. Like historically fast. We also, speaking of racism,

they go to a Knights of Columbus stand-in and Morgan Freeman's allowed question mark. Yeah, speaking of old Italians. Yeah. I don't think so. They call it the Knights of Hudson. It's like a VFW kind of a situation. It should really be, if it's Brooklyn,

should be the Knights of the East River. It's the Knights of Columbus are an old person's organization for old Appalian men which I think this is a knockoff of. Right, and it's a weird thing where like all kinds welcome. There's women that are clearly a part of this.

Which is nice. It's a utopian society. It's Zach Braff's fantasy world, sure. Well, it has to be a utopian society. There's no chipped beef anywhere. You would imagine mounds and mounds of it. Yeah, also like no smoking. Come on. They're all smoking. Yes.

So, Maureen Freeman and Michael Cain go to a meeting at their old mill factory where the steel factory, whatever the fuck it is where they used to work. Wexler, Wexler steel or something to that? No, all three of them, because they all worked at the same. Oh, Alan Arkin was there too. Lifelong buds, they all worked at the same plant that manufactured. Yeah, metal parts. Up to it, including 2017. Yeah, sure.

And the dude is like the company representative and he announces that they're moving the factory to Vietnam. Hey, I fought those people! That was the thought I had, dude. I was like, some of these old guys got a real problem with this. That is the ultimate lifetime burn. Right, yeah, exactly. All right, well, I guess we're moving back to Vietnam then. Yeah, you don't want to see those test audience cards.

Some of them are pretty crazy. I did four years in Vietnam for this country. I'm going to go there again. You start just killing people. It's the plot of Harry Brown, sort of. Remember that? Oh, God. I do not see it. It's basically death wish in like an English apartment complex.

Oh, yeah. It's fucking terrible. Bad shilling. I got to see that. But it's Michael Kane making a movie in England, so I was like kind of interested. Does that even, like, that doesn't even sound right anymore. Listen, his accent's like kind of thicker in that movie. Question, actually. Speaking of Michael Kane and actually kind of speaking of Christopher Nolan, is that the reason why he's not, is this movie the reason he's not in Dunkirk? who would he even play in Dunkirk Mark Rylance maybe

but even still that's like 40 years too old Yeah Maybe oh no no he was supposed to be Harry Stiles' character I was supposed to play the specter of death On Dunkirk Who just walks up and down the beach Yes that would be great

He's just you see him in the background of all the shots He's like solemnly looking at these fallen men The bloody black robe didn't fit Chopping on a Snickers almond I have not been a medium since 181, sir. Yeah, so they announced moving to Vietnam and also, whoops, in the contract negotiations, all of their pensions have been dissolved.

Yep, that's, because that's what, I mean, and again, like, I get it, but it's also doesn't belong in this movie. Like, it's a point that we should be talking about. Also, but, like, pensions don't exist in this country anymore. Yeah. Like, you have them if you're older, but no one else has pensions anymore. Because we don't, we don't believe in unions anymore. Yeah, they've stripped, like, even corporations I've worked in.

Yeah. They're like, people older than me have pensions in addition to 401Ks been stripped from younger workers. Anyway, so stop crying about your pension. Exactly. The way we retire was we gamble on the stock market. Yeah, and this movie is not Harlan County, USA. Exactly. Please.

They should just be old horny men that want to get one last. It would make this leaner and meaner. Exactly. They want to get a bunch of money because we're going to go to Tahiti or whatever. Yeah, exactly. But I feel like part of that is that's how you get the. movie made now. It's like they say to Zach Braff, like, but why would

we remake going in style? And the pitch is like, why why not? You know what I mean? Like they remake everything. I mean, I guess so. But like, you know, oh, it's that but we're going to put this like social commentary bent on it and we're going to attempt to make this movie relevant

in 2017. Yeah. Is the idea. It's just, it's a thud. You know what I mean? Like it happens three times. Yeah. It doesn't, it's not it's not, what do you call it there? It's not the other social commentary bank where I'll be a movie that's much better

than this hell or high water. Yeah, yeah. It's not hell or high water. And also like, to have it be that you need to have some face off with this fucking corporation at the end of the movie.

It just goes away. Well, you also need details. What's great about hell or high water is the way that they thought up like the interesting way to actually do those kinds of crimes. Yes, exactly. To do it that way.

This, like, you get nothing. You get a fucking montage, folks. And that is, It makes it so easy to rob a bank. I'm like, why don't we just... You want to rob bank this afternoon? Fucking do it. I'm not a hundred years old.

They'll do better than this guy. It's tempting. I might be in. I might be in for it. We got to get a mask that can't be easily traced. Okay. For Kylo Red mask. Yes.

Yes. Yes. Yes. And then one, one Chewbacca mom. The cop is like, take that ridiculous thing off. Chubakamobam, by the way, is the wheelman. Yes, yeah, Jubbacama, of course she would be, yeah. And that's how we get fucked over because we're like, come on, drive!

And she's just like giggling in the front seat. Yeah, because she won't until you say punch it. Oh, shit. Important. Should we lock in the auxiliary power? Should we lock in the auxiliary power? I'm waiting. Had me.

In the back, trying to repair. We were repairing the engine now. me the hydro spanner. No, this goes here, that goes there, right? Got this fucking method actor to be our wheelman. God damn it.

This is all just to put like an auxiliary cord in an iPod. I don't drive unless there's music. Exactly. It's baby driver now. Oh, so Michael Cain

comes up with this idea and he pitches it to these two dudes over a $4 buffet dinner gougar. Oh, what, the VFW there? Yeah. It's Morgan Freeman's birthday, and they're giving him a thing.

Never eat it a buffet for $4, please. There's a life lesson. Also another life lesson. Never ate a buffet. Period. I don't know, man. When we do these like southern, you know, we're going to, if there's a C.C.'s pizza buffet. Ew.

Oh, it's kryptonite, man. I don't know. What is what is wrong with you? I've, no, the problem is I went there once when I was like 20. He's hooked. Yeah, no, I've never been. I haven't been there again, and it's been, you know, 12 years now or whatever. We're going to one of, we're going to one of the culinary destinations of the United States of America to play his show.

And you're hoping that Austin has a C.C.'s pizza buffet? Well, do all those other nice, fancy restaurants have dessert pizza? I think not. All right. Well, I guess I'm wrong, then. No, if you're right, you're going to eat alone. I've done that before Look, he's back

And he still doesn't have any one after he has his struttle pie So when I'm going in style They decide to start robbing a supermarket at this point Oh, to like get a feel for the rush Their beaks wet Well, Morgan Freeman is into it immediately He's like, well, I'm going to die anyway And blah-b-da-bah

And then we should mention he's in ill health He has some kidney issues He's got a kidney issue He needs a new kidney and he's not telling anyone He's like, well, it's a little more social content as well, you know, it's just because of your age and your insurance. I'm like, no, no, it's mostly because of your age. They're not going to give a 90-year-old man a fucking kidney. Yeah, don't blame the insurance company on that one.

But that's just, it's another thing you're trying to be like, eh, eh, eh, yeah. But it's like, no, it's like he's too old for that. You know what I mean? Like, you had a good run old timer. Yeah, exactly. I'm sorry, but, you know. And if you do want to go on Skype, tell your. daughter and granddaughter

that this is happening. And they can come over and see you before you go. Before it's too late, before you go in style. So, yeah, Alan Arkin is decisively not for it for some reason. He's like a bit of a nervous Nelly. Well, because he's the nebushy Jewish character. He's the only one trying to be nervous about

it. Yeah. But yeah, he's the only one trying to be funny about this situation. He's the only one sort of acting the way you kind of would if someone was like, hey, why don't we rob this bank? Yeah. Morgan Freeman's instantly like, whatever, I'll die the lobby in a hail of gunfire if I have to. But Alan

Arkin's like, I don't know, I just kind of like being old and bored. Yeah, and watching TV and shit. Yeah, and fucking Anne Margaret. He keeps on watching heat and rewinding the Ted Levine getting shot part. See? This is what happens. I feel like if you slowed

down City Lights shot for shot, there was a sexy old lady in that movie and it was Anne Margaret. I just, I feel like she's been a sexy old lady for 200 years. She was the The human version of the robot in Metropolis. You know that, right? You're aware of that.

Grumpy Oldman was 25 years. I cannot get over that. It's shocking. It's shocking. She put fucking lemon and math out when they're great. She did. So they kind of trick Arkansas just go to the grocery store. And again, this shouldn't take place in New York because we're driving to the grocery

store. Yeah, very few of those. I get you're living in Brooklyn, but very few of those. We drive to the grocery store, Arkansas is like, well, I got to get a cordon blue. I got to get chicken. I got to do all this stuff. Like, yeah, yeah. And then, like, they are, they, Kane and Freeman are trying to, you know, break bad here and you figure out if they can steal. It's so fucking bad. The fact that this isn't a C-town makes me fucking furious.

It's a value town. Yeah. Value town. Get me a fucking key food, man. It's a fucking C-Town. I'm sorry. It's a fucking C-Town. Why would you ever rob a C-town? I mean, for a non-New York. For anything but hepatitis. For non-New York listeners, what? C-town's a chain.

Oh, yeah. I just feel like someone from like, I don't know, from anywhere else is like, are they saying cock town and not saying cock? Like what? Here's the thing, though. If this is a movie all about like sticking it to the problems of America, why aren't they like lifting from a Whole Foods type store? Yeah.

Why is this like fucking degenerate Brooklyn grocery store with four aisles in it? Yeah. Well, because the security guards at a Whole Foods come to play. It's true They got fucking like stun batons They will fucking choke you out dude You fucking try to screw over that hot food bar Forget it

Private police forces get ready They're coming for you Have you been to a Trader Joe's lately Cerberus is really right in front of the fucking place That's what Blackwater's doing now Blackwater guys Are fucking guarding Trader Joe Guarding the cabbage in fucking Trader Joe

They're making sure if you eat At that Trader Joe's like Or the Whole Foods on Columbus Circle with the public house inside of it. If you try to take a beer outside of that

into the grocery store they put you in the fucking ground. Two in the head, dude, you're not taking this Labat blue out of here. So they go into steel and Margaret works at the,

and Margaret works at the, but what about the groceries. Value Mart. Value Mart. And she's like throwing herself at Alan Arc and he's like,

I can't do it. He's like, I think he, kind of has been an old crank for a long time he's like been dying for 20 years kind of a thing like one of those guys yeah he's just like you know the same way exactly but you're not at some point

like towards the end of the movie Alan Arkin Alan Arkin lives with Morgan Freeman yeah the roommates and they say that they've been living together for 25 years so somebody has been a widower for a quarter of a century and I'm guessing it might be Alan Arkin because he's like hesitating

to like have this relationship kind of a thing you know what I would love is fucking the odd couple with Alan Arkin and Morgan Freeman. Fuck, that's something. That is something. Alan Arkin would definitely be the sloth. Because the problem is, like, I don't even think that having a dramatic actor in a comedic role is a problem, but the

levels are off because you have two against one. If it's just one and one, you can do that, I feel. You know what I mean? There's just one straight man to contend with. There should have been another old man, right? Yeah, like a funny old man. Yeah, I'm trying to think of a funny old man that's, you know, around. Can Mel Brooks still get around? Oh, yeah, Mel Brooks is.

Oh, that would get tiring. That's like, he'd be like Captain Christopher Pike and an iron lung. I mean, I just doubt, I just doubt Mel Brooks has got the spring in his state. I don't know. I don't know. Do you want to rob this bank?

Boop. Boop, poop. Oh, come on. We'll be in and out. Don't worry about it. Boop. Come on. Give me safe.

Fuck. They're all dead. They're all dead. Liam Mason. Peter Boyle is dead, unfortunately. He could have done it. You couldn't get like a Martin. Sheen, he's not funny.

Is Martin Lawrence old enough yet or not yet? Charles Groden? What about Charles Groden could have done it. There you go. That's what it is. That or Joe Estevez. Martin Sheen? I just said no.

He said no. Because he's not fucking funny. He's funny. No, Joe Estevez got the comedy. Yeah, he's the one who had the buck. He was born with the funny bone. Martin Sheen isn't fucking Charles Groden funny. No, he's not.

Yeah, exactly. Michael King got lucky because he's not doing Joe West of those shit. It's not like, oh, this is kind of like that movie Thor, but it's not. I play the old scientist. So we're lifting things from this grocery store. They're getting caught on security camera by Keenan Thompson, who's here as the manager. There is a set piece, and I'm going to use air quotes. Sure. Because Arkins not stealing anything, but Freeman and Kainar, they both leave the store.

They're getting chased out by a security guard. And for some reason, they can't get in the car. because Arkin was supposed to be the wheelman so they steal an old lady's rascal and first legitimate laugh of the movie for me is you got me beat by 10 laughs there we like punch

in hard on this old lady when she turns around and sees that her rascal's gone and she goes where the fuck is my basket? Totally using that PG-13 one fucking you're out of there not referring to the act of fucking chorus it's just funny Morgan Freeman

is driving this rascal with most of the half of a pig down his leg he gets this whole pork roast like down his pants and they're getting away Morgan Freeman does have an okay line here where like Michael Kane's driving this thing

and he's like come on get in the basket get in the basket Morgan Freeman's like I'm not E.T. Yeah that's pretty nice. I'm not demeaning myself on screen like that yes I am what the hell

cut immediately to him debasing himself yeah on further reflection he is basically a puppet I'm just being thrown in this basket They almost run a red light And get fucking teaboned by a bus Which does not happen What a great ending to the movie

It's 41 minutes long Then it's just Alan Arkin trying to fuck Ann Margaret Dude put these actors in a movie Called Funny Funeral And I am there for it Funny Funeral totally Well okay so Martin Sheen can be the priest Who resides over the

Over the titular funny funeral. How about Chevy Chase involved? He's an old shitbag now, right? Yeah, that's true. He could be like Michael Cain's lost son or something. You can get Michael Kane's stern brother playing a straight man, Patrick Stewart.

Oh, that would work out. Yeah, I'd be fine with that. I will not have this funny funeral. There's nothing funny about a fucking funeral? Boom, put that in the fucking trailer. I'm buying 10 tickets. Alan Arkin's older brother, Brian Denahey.

Oh, Jesus. Yeah, that would be something to say. Yeah, he's still doing the saxophone. What is that guy up to? I saw him on stage a couple years ago. Is he still, like, got his... Yeah, he was pretty good. Yeah, he was great.

He was really good in the Terrence Malick flick from a couple years ago. Oh, Night of Cups. Yes, he is. Yeah, he's good in that movie. Get him in there. Get him all in there. It's the expendables, but with old fun. Yes.

And it's called Funny Funeral. I'm so. down for this movie. Oh, fuck. You know, and I also love hanging a hat on it. What is this movie? What am I buying a ticket to? Funny funeral. Got it. I know what I'm seeing. Exactly right.

It would definitely be better than the big chill. In my opinion. Maybe. So they all get caught. They got thrown into Keenan Thompson's office. Good on the movie figuring out having a fucking comedian and a comedy makes a good deal of sense. And he's got some great lines. because Keenan Thompson's a funny dude, so that's all fine.

We're trying to, like, up the comedy quota here a little bit. He gets some jokes in. It's pretty great. Well, I've been Gary going through the desert here for a while, so thank God for Keenan. We had the old lady saying, fuck, and then Keenan Thompson, so we're okay. And then after this, you know, they just let them go because they're confused old man. I don't know where I am. And they decide to get the big guns.

Michael Cain's going to visit his son-in-law named Murphy. You're on a last-name basis? with your son-in-law? Hello, Murphy. It's me. Your ex-father-in-law. Well, is it his first name or his last... Is Murphy a first name?

Murphy Meadowstein? I don't know. If it is, throw me off this... It's not Medellstein. I'll tell you that much. It's played by great comedic actor speaking of Peter Serafenowitz. Peter Saffanowitz doing like an okay

American accent? He did a good accent. Yeah, I think he's pretty good. Yeah, and he plays a... This is preposterous. A medical marijuana. This is fucking preposterous. Not New York.

man. How dare you, Zach Brath? Are you that fucking out of touch? Dude, fucking set it in Boston. Exactly. Boston, 2019. Or Jersey, possibly. Jersey's on its way. Yeah, there it is. fingers crossed. But yeah, it's just, what, what, don't fucking do that to me?

You can't, you cannot show this in the movie unless Andrew Cuomo knocks down the door and beats him with a baton. If Peter Serafinowitz's head is not cracked open by the goon squad. This is like, it's not real. epitome of like out of touch nonsense that you think in california set it in california that would make more sense because you could then you're driving and these this diner they go to for no reason makes

sense it's outrageous uh but so like i see michael kane approaching this door and i'm like okay like some sort of a green mural on this window and then i'm looking and i'm like oh there's fucking pot leaves all over what what is this and it's a fucking marijuana dispensary you know it should be it should be a bodega where you know the code. That makes more that's the only way this works. Like I just can't it's like clear as day we're fucking slinging weed. It's

like you're in Portland or fucking Toronto or something. I really need like a half baked. This is me tripping and like this I'm actually like asking on the corner for somebody but I think it's a store. Or like Steve said it's a bodega where the fucking wall

of cereal opens and there's fucking a whole weed store. No, but there's a deli across street for me that is... Well, don't blow their cover. No, I'm not trying to blow. I'm not saying the name, but you go... They're closed Sunday mornings until about 4 p.m. And then they're open until about midnight.

Yeah, I know what's going on. Oh, totally. So, yeah, it's Peter Seraphinovitz. And he's, you know, he's doing an American accent. The idea is Michael Cain's like, oh, my son-in-law is a scumbag. He should know someone who can help us rob a bank. Which, you're not really... No.

Yeah. It's also, yeah, it's an obnoxious. thing where it's like oh he slings weed like in this dispensary he must be a criminal he knows fucking other criminal weed dealers know if you want someone to help you beat halo that's the guy you go to the go to your weed dealer exactly you can figure that shit out you want to know some cool star trek trivia go to your weird dealer exactly like hey man who's like the next like indie rock band coming out of downtown where do you get the best grateful dead bootlegs to this is your I bet Master Chief could rob a bank.

He's that dude from Halo. Yeah, so absolutely. That guy's armored to the teeth. Yeah, I bet he's got some pointers. Maybe if Michael Kane got stoned and watched Halo for a few days. But they do, so Sarah Fethner is like, it's funny because it's a bad cut of a scene because like it sort of ends in the middle. Yeah.

And then later in the movie, Peter Seraphano, it's like a part of the movie. You're like, oh, I needed that the rest of that scene. because the deal they make sort of is I which is all off screen is like if you send me to one of your scumbag friends I will get you back in the life of your daughter who hates your guts right now

but there's also a deal here where it's like I'll tell you where to go but you got to bring this dude a bunch of weed yeah exactly none of this happens on screen which is amazing yes it's but it's also really fucked up Michael Cain essentially gets his his daughter and her

ex-husband back together without even talking to either of them about it, really. It's weird. Like, she just, she walks into the kitchen one day, and Peter Serafinoz is there, like, towards the end of the movie, and she's just like, what are you doing? And he's like, your ex-husband is making your daughter breakfast. And she's like, well, all right.

She doesn't take out the cast iron about the fucking food over this head. Come on. Or any of the legal ordinances that have been made against this dude. All the police. We don't know what the situation is there, but yeah. So they go to John Ortiz's place. he runs like an animal rescue thing and also loves weed which is his whole thing

he's some kind of a criminal and they're like hey you know why don't you help us out with this robbing the bank we'll give you 25% of the profits and he's like oh you know what do you know about robin a bank it's that scene and he makes them both smoke weed and this scene again should be funny but it's not it's so falls flat one it's Morgan Freeman just being excited to possibly smoke

real weed which I thought was going on a little bit Because, like, Morgan Freeman is fucking down with it. Like, that's a public, publicly known thing. But the funny thing is, like, yeah, both these guys are in their 70s now. They were, they're both like, I don't know, marijuana. I've never done this. You were around in the 60. You're fucking break.

They act like they've never heard of it before until. Well, there's the weird gang. And in fucking Arkansas and jazz musician. Are you kidding me? Yeah, he's on, he's hooked on way worse, man. Are you kidding me? Well, I did a lot of, did a lot of horse. I never went for the green.

honestly. It's a, it's fucking baby food. There's a great, they're like reading all the different strains and, you know, it's like, oh, blueberry cush. Look at that.

And then Morgan Freeman's like, super blueberry cush. They're like, and Morgan Freeman's like drooling and Michael Cain's confused. Pig fart. So they smoke all this weed. They get the deal.

Like John Ortiz is going to help them. Like he's going to train them, I guess. and like how to rob a bank cut to an obnoxious thing of them Alan Arkin's like driving them home Arkin is there but he doesn't take a hit again for a jazz musician okay sure

Maybe he's worried about falling down Oh that could be No he lifted off this morning man He's still riding in it No I'm good What I meant by horse was I meant I fuck animals You ever see zoo Do you ever listen to my debut solo album

Mr. Hans. It's my given name, Hans. The movie Zoo is not a documentary. It's a fictional account of my life. They made it look like a duck. That poor man died in filming. I lived. They called me the Iron Butt.

Good Lord. Tonight, Alan Arkin is the Iron Butt. The $10,000 movie. Stay tuned. And Alan Alda as the detective who caught him. Oh, you did it. Now we're fucked for the old. Alan Alden, yeah.

No, you would... I'm gonna throw... I threw a bomb in. No, because now we're all going to be saying Alton instead of Arkin. Come on. I challenge. I'm saying, I'm yelling

Alan Alder right now because that would be a good comedic actor in this movie. That's another guy. So he was fucked in the butt by a horse? Is that what you're saying? This guy is he called the iron butt because he's fucked in the butt

and he asked by a horse. And he survived? No tearing and nothing. We found our star A funny funeral, by the way. Oh, yes. Wait, because it's his funny funeral? Who's funny funeral is it?

That's the question. He's got to be like the brother or something and he gets to he gets all the good moments. Twin brothers? It's Alan Alda's in the coffin and he's looking at it like, wow, we made an exquisite corks. Yeah, no, yeah.

He's to do a modern joke, he goes, spoiler alert. No, Shatner can play the corpse. in funny funeral. Oh, yeah. Doesn't even have to say anything. That's true, man. Wait, there's flashbacks in this movie, right?

Yeah, yeah, flashbags. Just get in a fucking box. We're going to film those tomorrow. They're telling William Shatner to get in the fucking bog. Have you ever seen the big chel? Remember Kevin Costner? He's all over that. Actually, it's a closed casket funeral.

See you later, Bill. I've been swindled. I was trying to think of Alan Aldo. Oh, no. Oh, yes. Who is more famous? Alan Aldo or Alan Arkin? Alan Alda, unfortunately.

I would say so. Even though that Arkin's got the Oscar and he works more consistently now? But MASH was probably played all over the world. Yeah, that's true. I mean, Alan Arkin has amazing things like the in-laws and little murders and all these movies. But he doesn't have MASH. It doesn't, he doesn't. Unfortunately, he doesn't have, like, the star name.

Like, people don't, I feel like people, I don't know. I feel like, Alda got big earlier, maybe. Yeah, that's true. Also, West Wing, that was a massive Alda Bump for modern audiences. Ooh, Alde Bump. Hello, I got an alert on my phone, another Alda Bump. Fuck, man, funny funeral would be awesome. I want funny funeral to happen so bad.

So donate to Patreon, maybe we can figure it out. So they're all high in this car, and it's kind of funny. They have their heads out the window like dogs. And Michael Cain's like, I love the feel of this air on my face. Morgan Freeman's like, you got that right, buddy. Then they go to the VFW or whatever the hell it is, the Hudson Knights, and they're eating a bunch of food. They've got, and the ark is like, you got the bunchies.

It's like, man, right, okay. Also, they're at this fucking hall again, eating crabs. Oh, my God, the food poisoning. I can't even imagine. No, that's, that's, that's dire. Yeah, we got these from Cincinnati. Cincinnati crabs. It's famous.

Good old landlocked Cincinnati and their crabs. They dig them up from underneath, underneath the, they're like turnips. So the countdown begins. They all agree they're going to do this. 20 days until Michael Kane loses his house. He's gotten another. thing like about the mortgage and this is the deal. The red letter

and now we've got a really bad montage like Chris explained which does nothing. I mean it just kind of eats up time. It's the time. Yeah it eats up that time. The montage takes a little bit of a break in the middle to watch them watch Dog Day afternoon. Yeah. And there's a gag where

Michael Cain's like, think I've got to turn it off before the end. And I'm like yeah, I wish I was watching that too. I wish one of you gets your fucking head blown off in the back of a police car. isn't it set do you know that John Cazale

is the only actor that every movie's ever been in best picture do you know that best picture every single movie certainly didn't happen

ass that'd be a thousand best picture nominations yeah so it's just this whole like getting ready to do it thing

they're like doing yoga with Anne Margaret because the guy's like oh John Ortiz is like oh you got to get in shape oh they

Alan Arca does eventually start having sex with Anne Margaret. There's like a couple of scenes where they're just lying in bed together like, wow, that's amazing. There's also a really stupid fucking eggplant joke.

Yeah, oh, well, that's what sets the whole thing off. Like, she's cradling this egg plant like so, you know? She's like, this is how you cook a really moist eggplant. And then it cuts to... Put it up my iron butt. I could sit on this and not feel a thing.

So, wait, it's a horse dick, but also eggplants go out there. Anything will do I'll take what I can get I'm an old man And people eat it Boy afterwards It's kind of surprising

It's the same screenwriter It's funny funeral Expecting so much more From Iron Butt Why? Fuck man Go ahead and style Yeah

So like they do whatever So yeah They do one of having sex Just that's going on That's sort of a thread of the movie. Michael Cain at this point brings Sarah... This is like the day of. The movie, it's only 97 minutes, so we've got to get to it.

Day of the robbery, Michael Cain's like, here's Peter Sera Finowitz. He's making his daughter breakfast again. Well, I fixed this whole family. You know, they walk the girl to school. He's also setting this up for when I'm shot in a hail of bullets. Yeah, exactly. Everybody else went to bed the night before he stayed up and finished dog day,

even though he said he wasn't gonna. And yeah, so this whole thing goes down. And the granddaughter's like, do you have cancer or something? Why are you being so fucking weird? He's like, no, I just love you. Goodbye. And then it's like, oh, but the thing is there's a fair that the Knights of Hudson are putting on. Yeah.

Well, the Knights of Hudson do a lot of good community outreach in this movie. Right. It's like a carnival or something. Yeah, it's a carnival that goes on somewhere. Brooklyn Navy Yards, yeah. Okay. I wasn't paying attention. So I was like, oh, my God, Morgan Freeman has a job as a Frankenstein.

This is just his job? is just his job? He works at the carnival as Frankenstein. And the idea is this is for the alibi. That's what they're doing. Right. And the girl is going to meet him later. And so they go and Arkin is working the cotton candy

booth with Christopher Lloyd. Which is another hilarious. This is like the second coming of Reverend Jim in this movie because Christopher Lloyd's like, oh, the cotton candy is really popular or whatever it is. And Alan Arkin's like, yeah, well,

We're all sold out. We ran out of cocaine. We can't make anymore. The gag or whatever. I think Christopher Lloyd, like, his whole gimmick is he constantly is talking through this megaphone, which I don't understand. And he's like, you got to go now. We're all out of cocaine. Yeah.

Kind of a funny line. Not the first time he said, though. Exactly. But that's the Reverend Jim, man. He's closing down a cotton candy's tank. I was going to say a little Friday night at the Lloyd estate. Yes. Judd Hirsch keeps showing up.

And he's like, Judd! You got to go home now. The Coke's gone. Lloyd Matters closed for business, DeVito. I got to sleep for four days. I can't stop thinking about Andy. Danny DeVito's sleeping in the bathtub. They're all listening to fucking man on the moon.

Eight hour repeat. Oh, fuck. Yeah, so, and then like a cane is, you don't see Kane's bit, But, like, he's working the fair as well. They all duck out. They steal an accessory ride kind of a thing, which is a bus that you, that at least in New York,

helps elderly, elderly. Yeah, you call it takes you around. So it's a nondescript getaway car. No one would think to. Exactly. So this robbery goes down. Everything's fine until Morgan Freeman's kidney starts giving out. Yeah, yes.

And it's, oh, by the way, they specifically use blanks in their guns. Sure. Not that anyone gets shot in this movie No, we don't want to hurt anybody I don't know, you just want to have it just in case Yeah, I wish you murdered Josh Pace in this movie, that'll be fine

If you're so close to the end, you don't want to go Like, you know what I mean? Like, you know, the last thing you want to do is end your life on a murder. Well, yeah, St. Peter's like, hey man, everything was fine until like the last day you fucking killed somebody? He killed 12 people in a bank robbery?

That bloodbath? How many children? And then Michael Kane just goes, America, 2017. You're like, oh, I get it. Oh, wow, do you put heaven into context? So, yeah, Morgan Freeman starts having an attack. He gets down next to this little girl.

The little girl's like, oh, are you okay, mister? She's like doing her best to be cute. It's a very grating. It's fucking terrible. I hate it. It's so obnoxious. And who to thunkage comes back later. So she's like, are you okay, mister?

And he's like, yeah, yeah, I'm fine, little girl. And she actually picks up his mask so he could breathe. and she sees that and he also is like a watch with his daughter's face, granddaughter's face on it. By the way, take that off. Maybe John Ortiz didn't get to that part, but if you have any identifying features whatsoever. Yeah, if any of your accessories that you're wearing have a family member's fucking face on them, maybe remove it before the robber. Probably a smart idea.

Yeah. But the mother, the mother knows the score right here because the girl's like, oh, he can't breathe under his hot mask. And she goes to lift it up. And the mother's like, no, no, no, no, no, no. Keep that right down. He's going to have to kill us. He's going to have to kill us. But behind him,

Alan Ark, it's about to put the gun in her mouth. Oh, shit. Two down now. You know what? This is a good thing. It's actually a good thing. It'll get everybody else scared. We'll get out of here easier.

Yeah, yeah. We're all using, like, oh, my God. So Josh Pace, like, grabs the security guards' firearm and starts, like, blowing these dudes away, trying to, missing at every turn. It's a gag where you have. It's a real fucking Mel Brooks gag,

no for nothing. Or it's also a gag from the end of Dumb and Dumber. Oh, right, dumb and dumber. Pulp Fiction, it also happens. But they had the Lord on their side I think is the idea. So he does that, he shoots and then like,

but the weird thing is, so Alan Ark is like, you son of a bitch and starts firing this blanks at him and like Pace is reacting as if he's getting shot, but then realizes he doesn't. And then they still do this thing like, everybody stay down.

I'm like, no. I'm going to rush these. And also like, hilariously, but smartly, Kane is doing this like American action. Yeah, he's kind of doing, and it's great because it doesn't have to be good. No, this is what's kind of a perfect situation for this to happen. It can sound like shit because he's just masking what his voice sounds like.

So, yeah, they get away. They get away. Josh Pace, here's the, here's a fucking missed opportunity. In that first bank robbery, he pisses his pants. Yep, I know you're going. I need a call back to him urinating himself once again. I need defecation. Yeah, I need a shit.

Oh, yeah, yeah. I need some fucking loafs coming out. Yeah. You got to, that's what, that's what we call escalation. Exactly right. Yeah, it needs to escalate. Or it's a big, fucking turd in his pants. Honestly, if you want one body, count Josh and like complicate this spot a little bit.

Josh Pace has a heart attack because she thinks she's getting shot. Oh, wow. Oh, no, my son had a heart attack. Hi, I'm Alan Alder. Now I'm in the movie. It's called Funny Feudor. Detective Dead. Detective Dead.

That would be, you know what? You know what? I like this a lot. detective dad is in the funny funeral of us oh spin-off right yeah shared cinematic universe right he was like the he was like the breakout star of funny funeral he gets his own spin-off called detective dad

just because my son needed rubber blankets until he was 43 doesn't mean he deserved to die sir well but I'm gonna keep solving crimes I'm detective dad and he figures out the twist in funny funeral dad that's that's like the wrong body right oh that's such a funny thing to happen in funny funeral yeah what a mix up turns out it wasn't a crime though it was just a morgue mishap which is the third movie morgue mishapsed

starring brian cox reprising his role from the autopsy of jane dough yes yes oh my god he could have so much fun with those bodies uh yeah so they they get away they get away they go back to the car and everything goes Perfectly smooth sailing. Dylan and this other guy who has one line in the movie are now on the case. Yeah. Big no-no right here

and fucking Robert De Niro would be so upset with these guys because they immediately starts... This is a shitty old man movie and he's not involved? Yes. Also, his character in Goodfellas

would be upset because they are immediately out for a fancy dinner. They're eating lobster tails, drinking champagne. Send it back. Send it back. You fucking return that car. You return that coat immediately. Are you kidding me? They do, I mean, they break all sorts of rules. Again, John Ortiz didn't do a great job bringing these guys into the world of crime.

Well, to the defense of John Ortiz. He had like seven hours to work with them. And it kind of didn't give a shit either. Also, he's a vet. Yeah, that's true. That's his, I mean, that's what he's mostly doing for most of the day. They start just giving money to like fucking Christopher Lloyd and people. Like, people are going to put this together. Yeah. Yeah, they give all this money to Christopher Lloyd. They also, Michael Kane, because this is the weird thing that I don't understand is like, to save his house,

how are you going to pay cash? Like, oh, hey, old man, where'd you get that fucking cash? Also, they would know like the serial numbers and the money probably. But he does get the money laundered by John Ortiz. Oh, you got to send this to the fucking laundry. Yeah, he's like, you hold out of this dirty laundry for me. So that does happen.

So that clears that situation. And I think the thing with the house is like, you just make that bare minimum payment. Got it. You're like, here's the thing. I was able to scrape just this. And then you just make those payments appropriately. You keep it in your mattress basically.

Exactly. You pay for everything in cash and that's your life. Look, I've been slinging coke for the last six months. I got enough for you. So they're drunk in the park. Morgan Freeman collapses and he's hospitalized. There's this whole thing of like, why didn't you tell us you were ill?

He's like, I keep that information private. When we were fucking downing magnums of champagne, you maybe want to tell us you have a kid That's a great point. Also at that restaurant. We shouldn't have had that tooth in the bathroom. I didn't know you had a kidney problem. You agree to go downhill skiing with me in the bathroom.

Well, one more time on the slopes. Just call me Switzerland. Do some rock climbing later. So he's hospitalized. His granddaughter and his daughter show up. Totally. And, like, Dylan is fucking closing in, man. Dylan's like, what?

I'm in the... Oh, right, that movie, how is it? Oh, right, the movie. And it's like, the last 15 minutes of the movie is just this bullshit Matt Dillon investigation. Well, it's kind of a reverse Oceans 11 because this is when you see the alibis come to fruition. It's like, this is what Michael Kane was doing.

This is what fucking Alan Arkin was doing. And none of it is, like, cool or that impressive? Like the most impressive thing is Alan Arkin burrows his way out of the back of a fucking rent-a-toilet. Yes. And we also are unfortunately treated to a karaoke sing-along with him and Anne Margaret. Sure, that happens. You get Morgan Freeman in that haunted house as the Frankenstein monster for a little bit. Michael Cain's thing is he just fucking puts a hat on a guy.

Like he takes his hat off his head and puts it on another guy and that's it. And the old guy's like, oh, thanks a lot. I didn't need a hat. It's cold here. So yeah And then like He does arrest all of them To put them in a lineup

Which knows scenes of taking them into custody Exactly I want to see the fucking black hands and shit Exactly Yeah you need a little montage Of the three of them like holding up the cards Getting the fucking mug shots But they

So that because there's an eye witness comes forth Uh oh it's the little girl And she sees Morgan Freeman In a this they're all in wheelchairs Like what the fuck this wheelchair lineup of old men it's so bizarre and they make like they're in a gymnasium somewhere

and they make these these dudes are playing basketball and they're like get the fuck out of here wheelchair lineup I was like what in the world that's another spin off of funny funeral wheelchair line and she sees Morgan Freeman but decides not to turn him in and you know that she recognizes

him because they punch in on his watch that he's still fucking wear it my goodness gracious also there's a totally dropped thing here where they get hip to Alan Arkin being a part of it because you see security footage of the bank and he's running and he runs a certain way and Keenan is like, oh, I have this footage from the grocery store who, you know, what are the odds two people run this ridiculously? But I thought that's when they were going into the gym that they were

going to bring Keenan in and be like, all right, all you old guys run. Yes. You know, doesn't, that whole thing is fucking dropped immediately. And they get away. essentially. Yeah. Yeah. They get away. The little girl, like the weird thing, did the little girl and the granddaughter like talk in the lobby beforehand? Because this little girl walks out like holding her dolly

and she's walking away with the mother and she spies the granddaughter and they give each other a look like, got it. Yeah. It's so weird. It's like the hobo code. It's like the granddaughter code. Now it's Kane

waiting at the diner that they always go to. By the way, the diner waitress Chabon Phelan. Chavon Fallon. Of course. And the diner. Credited as Chavon Fallon Harmon or something? She got married. Good for her. Yeah. It's Mark Harmon?

Oh, shit. Nice. Shavon Fallon Something. And, you know, good for you. Chavon from Saturday Night Live, men in black. The movie Greedy. Oh, right. Oh, ew. That movie's great.

Oh, yeah, sure. But also, the diner that they're going to, which New York geography, let's just forget about it for a second. that's the fucking diner from Goodfellas. Oh, yes. And of course, the hilarious thing is, it's 2017, they've removed that phone booth that Robert De Niro beats the shit out of in that movie.

So, he's waiting, Kane is waiting for John Ortiz, who shows up with a dog crate that obviously has the money in it. And then, uh-oh, Matt Dillon shows up. He's like, oh, you forgot your wallet. Am I done? Hey, Zach, is that cut? Did I say everything I need to say?

where's that check and it's like he's almost going to find the money because there is a puppy in this dog carrier and he's like oh a dog I love dogs and you see the money

like taped to the top of it and it's like oh gee I wonder if he's going to find it oh I wonder if he's going to find it and he doesn't the puppy bites him steaks right before we end a movie why not what the fuck not

yeah and so shit this movie did anyone else see the Yeah. Do anyone else see the stinger scene? What? There's a what? Yeah, there's a no, I turned it right on. It's Kirk Douglas.

He turns around from a Jared. He's like, I'll see you at my funny funeral. Wait, is it his bank? Mr. Williamsburg. Yeah, Kirk Douglas owned the bank. The last independently owned bank in Brooklyn, owned by 104-year-old Kirk Douglas. And managed by Michael.

There we go. We got going and go against. style too. Oh my God. They rob my father's bank. Now he croaked. They'd say the funeral's funny. I don't think so. And we have a bullshit cut to Michael Kane giving a speech and he's

speaking of Alan Arkin and it's in the past tense and you're like, oh man the best part of the movie's dead. Yeah, but it was a funeral fake out. Yeah, total funeral fake out. Dude, it turns out it's a wedding and Alan Arkin is wedding. and Margaret and vice versa Yeah that's how that works

Renting at the Central Park Boathouse by the way which again My God you have that wedding at the fucking VFW Hall Or move like literally just move out of New York Hey Arizona's open for business No they're just saying like their their Their aunt like fucking croaked find It's an inheritance

It's just like when Abe Simpson got it from what's their name Let me make a fictional person and their death Yeah beautiful aunt Hortense In order to inherit all this money Wait, that could be a funny funeral Yeah, sure That's a very, very funny funeral It's a fake funeral

The thing we're talking about Funny Funeral is a franchise It is one to seven movies at least It's got to be I think so Because people are just going to keep getting older Steve All these comedians are just going to get gray hairs

Precisely Edward James almost for number two Oh shit This funeral ain't gonna be fucking funny. It's kind of the same Clint Eastwood's there? Oh, Clint Eastwood's definitely in that fucking pine box.

They have to box at the end. And the fucking person moving the casket is played by the real-life person who moved the casket like that train movie. Give me your fucking break. No one's going to see it. I bless them, but I'm not going to watch that movie. No. They give

Chavon Fallon $10,000 in a tip by the way. That's another person to turn you fucking in. Yep, that's exactly. That's exactly right. And she'd do it too. She'd be like, it was fucking 25 years of these tips of 35 cents, but also like what the, the reward's probably like 50 grand.

You know what I mean? Yeah. She could probably just pocket that 10 and turn them in and get another 50. Exactly. That's exactly right. That's you get 60 G's. And then the movie just ends with like the three of them standing on a bridge in Central Park. And it's like, Alan Arkin's like,

my face hurts from smiling all day. Michael Cain's like, well, you're married credits. But there's a thing where like in the middle of the movie like Morgan Freeman's like, well, I probably got like six years left. Oh, right. And then like, he's like, you know, I think I'm going to live another 20 because I'm rich now. Also, Alan Arkin donates a kidney to Morgan Freeman.

Oh, yeah, right. Dude, that guy isn't a box. That guy, you want to have a fucking funny funeral? That's it. Yeah, that's fucking, dude, that is good money after bad. Are you even? Are you even allowed to donate at, that age. I guess they're like, listen, if you

agree to it, man, it's your body. It's your funny funeral. It's like me giving Andrew a kidney. Like, okay, same difference. What's the point? All of our kidneys are interchangeable here. Oh, the WHM kidney swap.

Yeah, we're going to be doing that live on Facebook. Yeah, on February 15th. Yeah, we're going to put all our kidneys in a box. We're definitely going to at least mix organs together. I don't know which ones. Could be. It could be sexy. Tune in, man.

I think you'll be pretty surprised. Yeah, and then that's just, it abruptly ends. Take that Michael Cain's family. You get a little bit of them. They're all, of course, at this wedding reception. Morgan Freeman doing some hilarious dancing in the background. He's like pumping his fists in the air. It's pretty funny.

Didn't Michael Cain retire from acting a bunch of times also? Yeah, I think he kind of said that those like Nolan movies were his last thing. That would have been a great idea. No, it's not. happening, stop. Gene Hackman's the only one who's going to do it. I would have loved to see Michael Kane's last moment of acting be, is that Batman at that table? Oh, no, it's not. That's it. I saw a ghost, I did. Yeah, first he gets his tortellini and then he sees Batman. Excuse me, yes, thank you. I'd like to send a bottle of champagne, make it out to Batman and Catwoman.

Right there. It's a private joke. Sir, that's a plant. There's no table there Have it delivered to the Batmobile I've lost my mind One Batmobile plaza Care of Gotham City Whatever Yeah that's the end of the movie

Would anybody recommend going in style? No no no no no no And I mean like I'm actually kind of Jonesen to watch Rewatch grumpy old man It's been a while man Yeah I don't know if it holds up But yeah Too much ice fishing in that movie for me

the funny thing about grumpy old men is those are two hilarious actors and that movie has pep and spunk and like every scene they're doing stuff Burgess Meredith Burgess Meredith is hilarious in that movie like it's supposed to be

funny and it is funny yeah this is like grumpy old men if it was all Kevin Pollock do not watch it it's awful yeah watch grumpy old men instead yeah I wouldn't recommend it I'd say

instead you should be pooling your resources and money to bankroll funny funeral. Yes, we are looking for producers. That's exactly right. Yeah, I wouldn't recommend this. Although I will say it's just dull and quiet enough to be a totally fine hangover movie. Oh, sure, absolutely. TNT will stretch it out

to about 2.15, that'll buy some time with commercials. I mean, I'm actually anxious to go... I'm anxious to go check out the original. I am actually, too, because it sounds a little darker. I guarantee you it's funnier. Yeah, it would have to be. Well, Zach Braff's got nothing to do with it.

It's got a good cast. Yeah. So there's that. So I guess the recommendation is go rent the original going in style. And never ever see a Zach Brath movie. Nope. Whether he's starring in it or he's directing it. Just fucking avoid it.

Life lessons from Chris Cab. Scrubs was fine. It was good. Except for that dreaded ninth season. Scrubs the new class. Oh, wow. That was like that weird spin-off almost sort of. And some of them are in it and some of them aren't and they're all

teaching. Oh, I watch more of that than I should have. The Going in Style, the original was directed by Martin Breast. Yeah, I said that earlier. Oh, you did? Yeah. No, well, I just... Beverly Hills Copts, Martin Breast. Who now has gone off with Gile. Yeah, that was his. Is that Batman?

That's Going In Style, directed by Zach Brath. If you want more WHM, check out WHM Podcast.com or find us over at Headgum. Headgum.com by the way. Click on that live tab for info on that Austin show, baby. Right and review the show wherever you get it, we would greatly appreciate it.

Facebook.com slash we hate movies and on Twitter at WHM podcast. And you know you've listened to a bunch of cool worst of 2017 episodes, but you might not have listened to all of them because we have a 2017 worst of on Patreon only called Bright. That's the Will Smith Joel Edgerton orc joint. Yeah. Do we want to announce what the next episode will be?

on Patreon for next month. We do. All right. So get it together, gang. February's W.HM bonus episode, Man of Steel. Wait, wait, what was that? Cabin getting his diaper together. That was Cabin moving a

bank vault door, just like the man of steel. Oh, Patreon.com slash we hate movies. Now, next week on the program, we're back to our regularly scheduled bits of entertainment. We're doing it's an episode A lot of people have been asking for

It's our live episode from the Bell House On Blade Trinity That's right everybody So if you could not make it to the show Back in November, Blade Trinity live at Brooklyn's beautiful Bell House Will be next week's episode So until then I'm Andrew Jupin

Steven Sadek Chris Cabin Eric Cisca Take it easy podcast.