We Hate Movies - S8 Ep343: Episode 343 - The Jerky Boys

Episode Date: March 6, 2018

On this week's episode, the gang kicks off the 2018 Listener Request Month with one of the absolute most abhorrent things anyone has ever tried to call a a movie, The Jerky Boys! Who's the fool who thought two prank phone call-making schlubs would translate into charismatic film actors? How was Alan Arkin tricked into sleep-acting through this one? And what is with this Mickey Mouse mafia? PLUS: Max von Sydow gets in on the fun and makes a few prank calls of his own!  The Jerky Boys stars John G. Brennan, Kamal Ahmed, Alan Arkin, William Hickey, Alan North, Brad Sullivan, James Lorinz, Suzanne Shepherd, and Vincent Pastore; directed by James Melkonian. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Now on today's program, we kick off Listener Request Month with one of the most abhorrent things I've had to sit through in a while. It's the Jerky Boys movie. I'm Andrew Jupin. Stephen Siddak. Eric Sisko. And we hate movies and tables apparently. Yes. Hello, everyone, welcome to the program. Thank you for tuning in, as always.

This week, we are coming to you from the Headgum East Office in beautiful Williamsburg, Brooklyn, to talk about the first listener request month film of 2018. Did you have to look at your phone to know what year it was? No, I had to look at my phone to pull my notes back up because I just can't even fucking believe this. Welcome to you. Two thousand six, eighteen.

I'm drunk. It's the jerky boys movie from 1995, directed by James Melconian. This was requested by Brian from Kansas City, who had this to say? My name is Brian from Kansas City, Missouri. And you guys are New Yorkers.

You guys are 90s kids. And that's like my listener request month. I want you guys to review the jerky boys, of the movie. I saw this Melton Jr. High. Five minutes in, I knew it was going to be bad. So please review it

and see a little bit of your childhood. Just die a horrible death. Thank you. Yeah, I would watch my childhood burn to the fucking ground. I have to get this out of the way. Who here cared about prank phone calls as a kid? Right here. Right here.

Yeah. Big time. I liked making them on occasion. I never Oh, yeah. I didn't own the paraphernalia of jerky boys album you're saying no I wasn't I was I was a big fan the I got you know okay so jerky boys happens right sure yeah what a huge moment it happened it was the summer in 92 the jerky boys happened but I would what I'm trying to say Steve is I was more of a second wave kind of oh I see yeah because when the Arnold soundboards came out oh right yeah yeah yeah who's your daddy and what does he do yeah that

is a prank phone call I can get you I'm gonna tell you I'm still laughing at those. And also, I was listening to some of the jerky boys calls aside from the homophobic ones, which most of them are. That's like 98% of jerky boys phone calls. Those go in the garbage, but the ones where you're just hitting on, you're just hitting

at a fucking hapless New York guy, like, what are you, what's going on? What happened are those tiles? Like that and that's what this movie doesn't get is like the other person is never that fun. Confusion. The confusion of it. That is something and we'll just plug him because we're internet buds and someday we

will meet this great man in person, but Nathan Rabin's got a piece on his website about this movie, and that's what he says, and I think is the greatest failure of this movie. The thrill, if we'll use that word, we'll play fast and loose with the word thrill of listening to a fucking prank phone call recording is that

you know the other person on the line is just being destroyed and doesn't understand what's happening. Precisely. And in this movie, everyone knows that they're making this jerky boys movie, so nobody gives a shit. And it's just, yeah, it's very much this kind of feels like, some of those Saturday Night Live movies a little bit.

Like, yes. There's a thing that's making money, so why don't we make money with a movie? Exactly. I just cram it into a movie. I don't know how I would explain this to younger people. Oh, that's a great question. A world in which from 1992 to late 94, there was a market, a genuine market for tapes, CDs of guys making phone calls to other people. I will contextualize it for the younger listener.

Oh, go right ahead. It was YouTube. That was the YouTube. You had prank phone call CDs. You traded tapes. Yeah. And then when Napster came along, like you got all those.

And because that's my thing. And that's where I have to come in with this. I never listened to the jerky boys. There were other dudes doing stuff. Yeah. Okay. That I heard like from Napster. You weren't really into the Beatles,

but you were into the birds is what I was saying? Exactly. And the thing that it's the real fucking just. shit about the situation is I don't remember what those dudes were but I remember and if anyone out there in listener land knows what I'm talking about, there was some motherfucker that had a bit about a

dude who was like having an issue with a porta potty situation Oh, that's fun. And it was hands down one of the funniest things I've ever heard in my life. You know this movie you reminded me of which is a great doc and kind of it's all the same thing. Shut up a little bit. Of course. That is worth

watcher. You should see it. And that's kind of like you know what I mean? That kind of thing where you're sharing tapes and like you know what I mean like that kind of an idea all of that reminds me of that brilliant mr. show bit where they're doing the infomercial for the the tape service and it's brian pose and it's like when you hear guys take a look at this or whatever the guys get in here yeah yeah someone shows up at your door with the next bootleg tape to watch and it's like that the cult of tapes kind of a thing but yeah now all of that stuff has just been uploaded to youtube making that whole culture totally irrelevant also we don't use the phone anymore no

and caller IDs everywhere sure a big traded movie back in the day was the Karen Carpenter's story's super story. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. The Todd Haynes movie which you can just log on to YouTube and watch it. Right. And you should because it's a great movie. But I know Chris and Steve you both actually owned Jerky Boys albums. Oh man. I did. What? I remember like just buying a CD with prank phone calls. This happened twice in my

life and one really changed my life forever and one really didn't. Oh my God. The one was my my brother and sister are in the living room howling, laughing at something. And I go in to see what's going on. One of those times was the first time was exposed to mystery science theater with Mitchell. And it was like, holy shit. Like they are like losing their minds. The other time was the jerky boys.

And like, I was like, what is this? And it was this thing. And like I, yeah, I think being from New York and like identifying with the Frank Rizzo accent to a certain degree. Sure. Living in an Italian neighborhood. Yeah, there's that. Now, it was, so the jerky boys, it was just the two of these guys. Just two guys, the two jerky boys.

But then there was, like, the two other guys who, like, helped write this movie. Oh, right. And then I think one of them is also the director. Yeah, I think, well, I think that's like the Hollywood suits, man. Oh, man, they just, they made these dudes, like, unofficial jerky boys. This director also did a movie called The Stone Age. Did you ever see that, Chris Cabin? Oh, no, I have not.

That's a national lampoon movie, is it? Is it? I don't know. I thought it was. I remember seeing it as a kid. I don't remember much about it. I was hoping some. Is this the DHS with the three people on the car hood?

Yes. Yeah, I've never seen it. Like, it looks like Dazed and Confused, but isn't? Yeah, exactly. Yep. I'm pretty sure that that's a... That's almost exactly what it is. And I had days and confused, so who gives a shit? What was your jerky boys experience?

Oh, me, mine, I loved this shit. Yes. I fucking loved this shit. Uh-huh. To the point I had... Yeah, you did. Yeah, you just go. Loving it.

Oh, look at that guy who loves the jerky boys. I had the first like three records I didn't go for the fourth one Don't fuck you Don't call them records These are CDs I had them on vinyl

They went platinum They sold 8 million copies Of the first album There is no hope for humanity The first two went platinum That sucks But this is how much I loved this shit

Okay This I mean and mind you I've only made one prank phone call My entire life What just one This is just me being a coward really Is that your character?

You call as a coward? I can't do this. Goodbye. It's my real life character. Not only did I have these three main records, they were like fucking like second tier guys from Kansas doing this shit. And I bought those CDs. Oh, wow.

Maybe those were the dudes I was talking about. Do you remember a classic porta potty bit? I do not. Classic port a bit. What day people are going to be talking about the history of podcasting like this? Oh, yeah, it's just gone. There were those four guys.

They talked about bad movies. They all died in that weird tire fire. No, they weren't those guys you would know. It's adjacent kind of version of that. They sounded like they worked at a pizza parlor. Those guys. Oh, speaking of sounding and looking like you work at a fucking pizza parlor, the jerky boys themselves.

Talk about not made for movies or television or anything where you need to step out in public. What I like about this movie is it starts. So like the jerky boys exist. only an audio form, right? And I mean, I know that people get disappointed when they look at us, that's accurate. Big time. Half the letters we get.

But the start of this movie, and I think it's very conscious, they're in like these hooded masks. Yes. So like I think the thrill of being in the movie theater in 1995, by the way, this movie was made in 1993 and was shelved because no one wanted to touch it. Shush, shush, shucking.

But it's like when the movie, when they ripped the hoods off, it's like, it's the jerk. Like, you finally know what they look like. That's like half the price of why you're buying a ticket, I think. Yeah, and then you're like, wow. Look at that. Or you could wait seven years for the internet to be invented and, you know, there we go.

You're like, one of them is wearing an ill-fitting Mets t-shirt and the other one has a mullet to beat the band. Did no one tell this man he was about to be in a movie? It's 1992 or whatever it is. This mullet is insane. It's disgusting. No one told Johnny B. Where are the fuck this asshole's name? To his credit, he didn't know it was going to be shelved to this long.

Johnny Brennan is his name. The other one's Kamal, just Kamal. It's pretty rare. A crimson mullet. You don't see this very often. Yeah, I was pretty surprised by this. It's like that, like, New York Irish thing that he's got going on. Oh, yeah, man.

Yep, totally. Looking like scum, yeah. It was popular at the time. I'm sure certain fashion elements we have on today will one day look foolish. And they know making this movie, by the way, where they're, like, they're making this movie for the fans, I feel. Oh, sure. Because, like, in the, before we get to the bags over their heads thing, it's like the opening credits of just, like, the distributors and whatnot. You just hear, hey, silly ass.

And you're like, yeah, fuck you, here we go. I had that, it was, it's some movie company. Caravan pictures. And at the end of it, Kamal makes a Shane reference. I'm like, oh, man, that's going to kill with the 14-year-olds, man. Well, that's the other thing, too. I mean, this is what this movie is for us. For 13 to 14-year-old boyas, and that is it.

But you have to be sneaking into the movie then because it's fucking, fuck this and it's a hard-ar. Yeah, it's a hard-or. And, you know, you can't go PG-13 with the jerky boys. You can't. You just can't. Did anyone else, Nick Rad brought this up working as our producer today, like the school voice of, like, doing jerky boys stuff? Like, was that like going around your school, everybody? It was awful.

Because nobody could do it correctly. Of course not. What 14-year-old boy can do is Sal Rosenberg? It's going to sound terrible. Well, everyone's doing Kamal and that's not fun. It's not fun for anybody. Honestly, don't remember them being popular where I grew up. But I remember watching this movie a ton because it was on like, you know, HBO or something.

But this also had the elusive Johnny Mnemonic, had the orange cassette. Oh, did it? Oh, brilliant. One of them. I mean, I've always known what this movie is. I should say, I have not seen this movie. until we had to watch it. Are you serious?

This horrendous listener request moment. That was my reaction, Chris. When he mentioned this earlier today, I almost spit out my dream. I've seen this 67 times. I don't think I ever saw this. Even though I was a big jerky boy's head at the time. Wow, a fucking traitor. I just thought it, I just knew that it wasn't going to be there.

Did you think it was a scary movie? I was right. Oh, no, those jerky boys, it's going to be too scary. They're having a lot of fun. they are getting into life-threatening situations. Yes, they are. Oh, sure, dude. And of course, and this is, oh, man, this movie starts right off with, I know Steve Sadek, one of his pet peeves.

It's we've got, and in this case, I'm doing some air quotes here, comedians, in a movie, and you have to see them as little kids doing the bit that they do as adults. Jesus, it's my least favorite thing in the world. Like, everyone's always been doing this all of the time. Not only that, when they cut to the future, they're clothes they're the same. He's wearing the same exact vest as he did as a child. I mean, I guess because they're like fun losers is the idea. There's nothing fun about these guys, man.

Yeah, it just looks like they got hit by the honey I blew up the kids ray. Like it all went up all the sun. Their mother, Johnny Brennan's mother, Johnny B's mother, is Lorraine Brocko's mother from Goodfellas. Yes. Oh, wow. Oh, my God. I couldn't place it.

All I kept thinking of, like, it was Joe Pesci making fun of her. Like, what kind of people are these, Henry? What are they doing? What is going on? They're not Jewish. I don't understand. I love good fellas. And so, yeah, it's like, oh, cool.

So you guys have spent 20 years making prank phone calls. What a fucking existence. Because, yeah, the first thing they do is they make fun of, they're doing a prank. His mother yells at them, and then they go, and they make a prank phone call to this kid, Brett Weir's house. who's like the cat he's like their nemesis for no no reason just because like he does well in school they're bullies just just say they're a bunch of fucking bullies no but they're the heroes of this film so they can't be bullies these the jerky boys are like the every man heroes that we all strive to be right everybody we're seeing our fucking heroes on the big

screen we are seeing ourselves projected you know it's like are you ugly and dumb and you just make yeah yeah we had comedy and that is it's like we're in the movie we all we're strive to be celebrated for being losers just much like the jerky boys of later days. And like they make a prank phone call that and like it's a little kid. I think he's doing the Saul Rosenberg voice. Yeah. He's doing like a landlord

it's more of a riso. He's like the super across the way like your kids been fucking around over here. Playing with my mother's panties. Yes he keeps on saying now this is a problem throughout the film and those albums. My God, I was listening to some on the way down here. Holy Toledo. The

inclusion of fruity and Fruity ass, and there's a lot of gay panic. It's a little, and there's thankfully not much of it, but there was the gay character. Yeah. Who only shows up, thankful. Oh, two scenes, actually. Two scenes in this and they're bad. Yeah, they're bad.

Yeah, that's absolutely right, Chris. You're totally right. Yeah, and they like get this dude, I don't know, this little kid, like, gets expelled from school or something like that. He buys his mother in the street. Oh, that's right. Some street justice. This mother is just pulling a Jimmy Conner. from the godfather, beating this kid with a fucking trash can.

She becomes Paul Cursey just because she got this phone call. Somebody called me a silly ass. How do you not get him for this movie? Oh, my God. Why not? Why not? Why not? I mean, I agree with this. Why not? I mean, okay, so Alan Arkin is good in not this, but in other things. He's sleeping through this.

Oh, yeah. Charles Bronson. Holy Toledo. He would actually be sleeping through this. But I would feel like they were in more. where peril if Charles Bronson was there. That's fair. Exactly. Somebody called me homosexual over the phone. I'm going to go on a killing spree.

A Jewish man called me. That was enough. I'm going to kill everybody called Frank Rizzo. There is an Italian. Period. Rocket launch, a caboom. So Alan Arkin is like this mafioso

boss that they run afoul of eventually. The structure of the movie is they get called in by the police. And there's like this, the funny thing is in the beginning of the movie, like this all just press outside, like, who is Frank Grisso, blah, blah, blah, but when we get there in the middle of the movie, it doesn't make any sense why the press isn't alerted. It also doesn't

make sense at all why they would put bags on their heads with smiley faces on the great. Yeah, I was like, well they fucking kidnapped by the Joker? Like, what are we doing? Exactly, what are we doing? It's like, kind of open, this movie kind of opens like the beginning of the insider. Our hero has a bag over his head. He's going to a place we don't know.

Very similar. They both feel like really long movies. Even though this movie's only 80-something minutes, it feels like two and a half hours. Jesus, it's an endless 82 minutes, man. They're in a police station, and then they start telling the history of the jerky boys. We see that, and then they start making it. They started his children, we already discussed it. They're being questioned by the Park Ranger from Bushwacked.

That's where that, I could not place. Was he also on an episode of Seinfeld somewhere? Probably, yeah, probably. He's been in a lot of stuff. I randomly saw, he was in a movie called The Fantastics or Fantastix. It's like a musical. Yeah, yeah. Seeing him doing music, my God, this guy's done it all.

He's also, like, he plays a lot of roles that I feel like R. Lee, Ermey turned down. Oh, yeah. Just like authoritative whatever. But he's also kind of nerdy, but not, you know. Yeah. So, yeah, they just go into this backstory about their life and how they ran a foul. And the other thing is, like, what I love at the start of this movie is the mother is giving them shit. It's one of those weird, like, I guess Kumal's always over at Johnny Be.

house, so, like, she's mother to both of them kind of. And mother to me. I was hoping somebody would pull that out. And mother to me, silly ass. It is I, Saul Rosenberg.

I just fell and dropped my glasses. The scourge of sizzle tits. Fucking sizzle tits in this movie. Let's either sizzle chest or silly tits or sizzle tits. We're saying silly a lot.

I'm going to get silly with it, we're saying. Rubber, like rubber slap or rubble? Yeah, rubber neck. Yeah, rubber neck. It's all so dumb. Now, here's a question for all you big jerky heads here. Yeah. Was Frank Rizzo the character that they would use that name as the guy?

Okay. So then they, uh, a lot of this is, by the way, kind of like adapted that first album. Yes, it is. It's crazy. I was wondering if that's what was going on. Because that's the first actual adult jerky boys. So their mother, his mother is like, hey, you guys, and to your point, she's saying it to Kamal too. You guys got to get jobs and get out of here.

Right. And that's my favorite idea of this movie is like they are constantly unemployed because they're addicted to making prank phone goals. Like their whole reason is like, but ma, if we got out of the house and got jobs, what are we going to find time for the prank phone calls? You're like, these are losers. They take no time at all. Prank phone call takes 60 seconds. Topps. You could do it on break at work.

Well, here's the problem is they start doing it at work. They become construction workers for a day or whatever. And they just start yelling silly ass at the four minutes. It's like, what are you doing? That's what? He's like, oh, I'm a gay man. And everyone's like, what? But they do the Saul Rosenberg.

And this is actually, to Eric's point, the exact phone call from the first album, which I did listen to on the way down here as well. It's like this nurse. And he's like, oh, I got hemorrhoids on my ass. And she's like, you have to use the proper terminology, sir. It doesn't make any, it loses all the oomph because it's like an actress. Right.

From the X-Files. Yeah, it's the witch, the witch teacher. Which teacher? Wait, which teacher? Remember when they go to the school and like there's a satanic, uh, yes, okay. She's the teacher who was actually the satanic. Yes, I remember her. Okay, yeah.

There's a little bit of a twist in that episode kind of with her character. Because she becomes the, yeah. Right, right. I guess they should have done this movie like Borat or something. Yes. Just like get on. expecting people off the street or something. Or even like celebrities.

Like I have it like almost like one of those David Blaine specials where he just shows up and does shit in front of high celebrities. But that doesn't even make sense. Like the work thing, what is so stupid is like he's looking directly at the person. He's making a prank call to you. Like dude, the motherfucker can see you. But this is the thing because this movie is like, well, just like a bunch of guys on the phone is not interesting. So what about a guy on a walkie talkie? Like you know what I mean?

it's all modes of communication dude like building buzzer intercoms play a role in this movie later also one of the jobs they get fired from is a drive in like fast food restaurant that's it oh there's some fun there oh yeah I think it's Frank Rizzo do but the interesting thing

36 minutes before Kamal does an impression Kamal got the shafts it's the Johnny B show all the Kamal heads were like when is my man going to say something did now did the the jerky heads out there did you have like a fave like were there like Team Johnny B and Team Kamal.

I liked the character. I didn't really think about who was doing it. Not until this movie came out that I know who is who. They didn't like introduce themselves on the albums at any point. It's just a bunch of awesome phone call. They come out like, we've got a very good show for you tonight. I'm Johnny B and this is my partner now. Yes, I will be doing Frank Rizzo and I will do Saul Rosenberg.

Yeah, you're right. You really don't want to break down the wall there. Ruin the illusion of the prank phone call. What I don't understand about this movie is that Johnny B. and Kamal have confidence? Yes. No, that is a note that I made. The ease in which

these guys just like pick up the phone and do this, or just like, yell at people. Just go outside and yell at people with just not even a hesitation. Like where do you get off having those balls Johnny B with a mullet like that? I don't think so. I think that's what it is. They were bullies. They were

always bullies. And this is what happens to bullies. They go nowhere. So, and like, all they're still doing that, like, fucking high school shit thinking it's funny and everyone's like, dude, I'm 35. This is my wife. Why are you calling me at night? If you took a

widescreen approach to this, like, these are the people who are sending, like, angry letters to their local radio station. Oh, sure. These are guys who, these are guys that love to call it on sports radio. This is the guy, like, and just go. One day they found 4chan, and that really blew the doors off the place.

Those dudes all went to 4chan. That's exactly right. The message boards really kind of thinned out the prank phone call hurts, unfortunately. Also, no one picks up the phone anymore. I mean, I got a call coming in a number I don't recognize, like, goodbye. Well, I have not, thankfully, my number is in public

because I always pick up the phone. Really? It's always about my heating bill. I'm on some robocall list, and I get it every single day. So why do you still pick up the phone? Are you waiting for a jerky boy? One day. Someday, I'm going to get it.

I'm going to make an album. And it's always like the thing with these like the famous prank calls to, there's only like so many categories you could get in. It's like complaining about bad customer service or like a gross medical emergency is always

another one and then like the I'm angry at somebody and I think I'm talking to them but I'm not and that's the gag. I think it's just those three. Getting like the wrong order from a like a takeout thing I feel like Yeah, like a customer service issue. Like, what's the, when they do the fast food joke in here?

Oh, it's just lamb minty chops with nipples or something like, oh, man, we're just nonsense. And that's the thing is it's nonsense words. Like, again, it's funnier when it's some like unsuspecting whatever, but like everyone's, everyone has to pretend. It's like infomercial acting. It's like, what, what, what? You can't put that on a ladder. Like, you know what I mean? It's like that kind of like straight man bullshit.

This phone call will kill. So they wind up going to the bar in the middle of the afternoon. Johnny B puts on a hat. It's like the hat that Wesley Snipes wore and white men can't jump. Yeah. Like the up bill hat. Totally. And it's cool and Wesley Snipes puts it on.

But when Johnny B puts it on, it looks like a racist. It looks like he looks like a dude that like you would cross the street. Like, oh shit, that guy's wearing that hat. I don't know. Putting that on top of that mullet. Yeah. It's a problem because it looks like if you've like ever tried to put a trash. on one that has like

too many bags in there and you're just barely trying to get it down but it won't it won't you still know that it's an overfilled trash can it's just spilling out you're not fooling anybody Johnny B you are still a full trash can so they yeah

they want to go into their bar their local neighborhood bar Mickey Misses this takes place in Queens right yes I don't know if it's filmed there it looked like it was yeah some of it is yeah some of it is some of it is some of it is and some of it's in like downtown.

I think like it's like... I feel like I've been in this bar. That was the thing. Oh, really? Like I'd been in this bar before. Yeah. Because they do mention Dittmar's Boulevard at Steinway Street, which was all old stomping grounds.

But they also, I think a lot of it is maybe like upper Dittmars. Yeah. Towards the airport a little bit. Yeah, like you're away from the train. Everybody needs to take the bus. When they do show the train, it was like a road stop. Oh, right. I don't know what that is.

That might be the seven train. yeah um so they find out that the guy like the neighborhood kid that they bullied like comes into the bar i think and he's grown up to be like sort of working for the mafia well here's the thing that they have a tab at this bar what a tired joke which i've never understood like no bar is ever going to let you have a tab like you know what i mean like running a tab of 650 or whatever it is like yeah you can't have like the fucking barney gumble tab in reality

So they're shut down Their buddy comes in Brett Weir And he's like yeah He's like a low level guy for the mafia Anybody recognize this dude No I was driving me nuts I don't know I don't know if anyone of this room

Has had the pleasure Of seeing this film But he is the main character And Frankenhooker He's the dude who makes The titular Frankenhooker Wow good for him Yeah

You know I honestly I looked that up Because I was like It's another classic New York film I know this guy from somewhere And I was surprised it was that because I thought I thought he was in other stuff he's kind of been in other but that was the thing I was like oh this dude he was he had he had a small part like a featured extra in bridge of spies

oh really yeah as a man on subway two you might recognize him as man on subway he's the man man on subway number two i was kind of surprised oh stephen when you're waiting on the subway for tom hanks you've got to really wait for him tom hank's is going to come and you've got to look like wait is this smart train. You know, the thing about Frankenhooker is it was just a really fun set. I know a dude who worked on Frankenhooker actually. I used to work with him

and he was like the camera operator. Nice. Yeah, he's got some stories. Isn't that the same director as Basketcase or my name? Frank Henan Lotton, you better believe it. Yeah, baby. New York, a New York legend. If you can ever see italics, legend. People love that basket case.

You can fucking keep it. So, yeah, he comes in and he's, like, kind of shooting off at the mouth about how good he's doing with the mafia, blah, blah, blah, which I'm sure, you know, by the way, that's, that's a false move right there, just bragging about how well you're doing being in bed with the mafia loudly at this bar. And I think he gets a business card or something, Johnny B gets the mafia's phone number, which is how this works. The mafia business card. And here's the thing, 1,900 crook. Phone number. You don't touch the mafia. You leave the mafia alone.

This whole movie should be... This movie should end with them getting shot in the head. But confident losers always are drawn to organized crime. Gotcha, gotcha. They shouldn't be. They shouldn't be. Because a lot of the mafia, upstanding, smart individuals, and the show

is pro-mop. Family men. You know, not the confident loser type. I don't want anyone wasting the mafia's time. They have a lot of... It's like bothering a policeman. He's got a job to do. They both carry guns and both protect. people, some more than others, maybe the mafia

more than the police, but yes. In New York, you have to go back and forth from the Meadowlands four times a day. Yeah, exactly. They're busy, busy guys and they don't have time for prank phone calls. Or Tom Foolery, either. No way. And the thing that really bums me out about this movie's portrayal of

the mafia, this is some Mickey Mouse Mafia or shit. This isn't like your tried and true, legit mafia that you want in a movie about two dudes making prank phone calls. This makes the guys from we can have and he's looked like a bunch of Polly walnuts and fucking Tony Sopranos.

And speaking of which, Vincent Pestor is like the number two in this movie. Sure. So that's cool. It's kind of before he found his instrument as an actor a little bit. Oh, is that right? I just feel like there's that scene with him and Alan Arkin and he's like, doesn't know what to do

with his hands yet. He's just like touching a bunch of poker chips just to have something going on. It wasn't until somebody called him Big Pussy that he really figured it all out. He found himself. The clouds parted that day. He saw everything clearly.

I'm shocked that Johnny B didn't call him that. Big Pussy, yeah. It sounds like a good insult. Phone call insult. Well, you can't put sizzle in there. What the fucking sizzle in this movie? He is saying sizzle. And also, what's weird, do you guys notice this?

I think, by the way, this was intended to be like a jerky boys begins kind of situation. Because if you'll notice, we'll flashboard a little bit here for a second. Yeah, they fucking fight Liam Needs. for a second the fucking ninjas burn their house down rub your vocal cords your hands will take care of themselves

Gotham is going to get a prank phone call no but like at the end of the movie that is when they are like given the handle or the mental of the jerky boys like they're just two fat assholes beforehand and at the end of this film they are the jerky boys

that happens that's after Gary Oldman takes the phone from them right and starts making his own phone But did you notice, though, it's weird. Kind of like three quarters of the way through this movie, Johnny B just starts using the word jerky. Yeah. It's nowhere before this.

And then he's like, hey, hey, jerky. I was like, wait, what are you doing? Are you just saying it now? You're saying the thing that you call yourselves? Oh, this is a mess. So he calls the mafia. And, like, he's just doing Frank Rizzo and, like, making fun of them. But also like, hey, by the way, I got these guys in town.

You got to show them a good time, motherfucker, or whatever. sizzle chest and sizzle chest Frank Rizzo character is pretending to be a mob boss from Chicago and he's got two guys in town that have been doing a job for him and you're going to get in the car

you're going to make foot of the mafia and then get in the car with the mafia the whole point of prank phone calls forget me if I'm wrong is to be very far away from your target yeah that's the whole you know you're a coward and that's why you're doing shit over the phone you don't do in person

bullying, you do over the phone bullying. Because their tab has been exhausted at Mickey's and they want to have a good night on the town so they do this. It's just like, we're going to hang our own sort of Damocles above it. Wow, sick. I mean, it's crazy. You don't do this to the mafia. Again, don't waste their time. Don't waste their time. You will get killed. Or beaten up, like really bad. And this is my question though. And, you know, I do know that because we have received letters from people sort of associated with

certain something or others. The best fans. Make the best fans in the world. They make the best fans in the world. So my question to those people, is this a thing like when other mafia come to town? You better show my boy a good time. Yeah, we're not entertainers. I mean, like, it is. If we're slinging olive oil and beating people up, like, what are you talking about?

If you're in the horse tray together, of course you do. Exactly. You're not just taking somebody's word over the phone. Yeah, like, who is this person? What are you talking about? Like, there's no confirmation about anything. Not for nothing, these could be the police. And I think that, like, the mafia gets so, like, frustrated and flustered by the word sizzle chest in jerky and fruity ass, specifically, that everyone's like, well, I guess he must be a tough guy.

Like, and everyone's like, he must be in the mafia. He called me fruity ass. So, like, he winds up going to, uh, big pussy goes to Alan Arkin. Alan Arkin, by the way, appropriately sleeping at the beginning of this movie. Yeah, yeah. And the other thing actually is a delight whenever. shows up. If you look at Alan Arkin in this movie, you will know, and this is the thing

that I noticed the entire movie, you will notice on the sides of his head, there are two like big indentations. That is from glasses that he was wearing 30 seconds prior to read this script. Every single scene, I swear to God, there's like these like very pronounced lines on the side of his head. I will try and get a screen cap. It's amazing because

it's like, yes, he was just wearing glasses. Like, what is it? Who's a jerk? Okay, all right, so I say that. Okay. All right. Yeah, sure. I got it. He does bring into this big monologue thing about, like, like maybe Frank Rizzo is responsible for the, the Carboni family massacre with the clown. Oh, yes, some clown massacre that they bring up for a second.

A clown that was throwing fire bombs and whatnot? Yeah, like they had to scrub the fire, the, the Carbony family off the walls, they say. Ooh. Yeah, so that's something. Off the walls. I don't understand. I mean, like, the thing is also, like, wouldn't this movie make more sense, like, either as it, the jerky boys it's always like oh you know hi i'm saul rosenberg i fell down the stairs and my glasses fell off

maybe show somebody fall down the stairs and their glasses fall off like you know what i would like to see that i would love to see that or maybe it's an animated movie like we're seeing these characters and that's the right right that's what it is because that's what that comedy central show got right crank yanker oh did they get it right andrew well i mean if you want to try to portray these fucking a visual element to help you with the fucking just using the puppets yeah that was an animation. No, but no, but I'm just saying it's not live action. I don't there is not a worse

format to try to bring to life a prank phone call. Yeah. Like just making a movie. Like animate it. Use fucking little Muppet rip-offs, whatever you want to do. But this live act, just these two fucking fat idiot losers who are not meant to be in movies at all. It doesn't

work. If the jerky boys are the Beatles, does that mean the cranky anchors is the Rolling Stones? Oh. Oh. Hmm. Yeah, and which one of those artists was stealing more from the black prank phone callers? That's the real question. That smells like jerky boys.

Yeah, I don't, I mean, so that's out on the table because crank yankers was at least into the early aughts who was watching that. Oh, no, I never did. I never, I tried. No, no, no, no. Time had passed me by. Once I got into college, I didn't fuck with Comedy Central that much.

I mean, because that was the sell of that, though, was like these were comedians. you knew doing the bits so it was like kind of something like I've seen a little bit of crankyers I don't think I've ever seen like a full episode I think you did a lot of crankyankers no I really didn't I mean it was like a clip here or there maybe

or it would be like the you know we're trying to desperately get you to watch this so like we're going to show you a piece of it while you're watching like an S&L rerun or something gotcha gotcha like that was the extent of my and I remember like Tracy Morgan did one Sarah Silverman had some good ones Chappelle was on their ones

I'm sure Jim Drewer must have done it. Oh, Jim Brewer, he probably built a new garage out of Crankankanker's money. I probably saw an episode or two. Probably. See? But I wasn't religious like Andrew.

Didn't have appointment television. I'm a yankerist. So they wind up going. They're like, hey, yeah, we're going to be in the corner or this and that. You better meet us and you better show our boys a good time. Goodbye, jerky. And let's show up in these suits. And I'm,

I would be terrified. Of these guys? Yeah. No, of the mafia. Oh, Alan Arkin. You're meeting the mafia who you've never seen before. And then you've antagonized.

Yeah, that you've just been, yeah, you've been making fun of on the phone for an hour. And you're dressed in like your dead father's club. Which is what I assume this stuff is. Yeah, yeah, because from the 70s. Yeah, that sounds about right.

What are these white barrels? Oh, you don't have to worry about that. They're just for later. I think that's what happened to Joe. But him and, him and Dominic were making prank phone calls. oh cool we're going to the cornfield and then that's how it goes

Dominic don't hang up on me now it's dial tone for you Dominic Dominic ask him if the fridge is running Dominic I did that one Oh did you really? Well kids are stupid

I don't remember That's an old that's an old one I must have done a prank phone call there too But I don't remember what or why Yeah I think it was just like I repeated things I heard on tell television or something, which is why it never really worked. My big one was farting into the phone.

I'm sorry. Let's explore this. No, it was me and my friend. It sounds pretty straightforward. I made a, I dialed the number, someone picked up, I farted into the phone. And that's it? Me and my friend were just like, you know, hanging out and then like, we're like, hey, want to make a prank phone call and like, yeah.

And then we would just wait around until one of us had to fart. And one of us would make a phone, like just to a random number. Man, that is a time clock on there. It's like, oh, shit, here it comes. Okay, uh, did you dial, like, six numbers and then just wait? Question. Sure. Any instance of a silence one, like you thought you were going to get a, you thought you were going to blow the doors off.

I'm sure. I'm sure there was one or two. That was a dud, a dud call. Remind me that never used the fucking phone in your mother's house ever again, by the way. It was like I was sticking it up my ass. You might as well, dude. There were pants in between. It doesn't matter.

phones have been around for a long time. And it seems like... And I just suspected them. Well, what I'm thinking is like, okay, so the 90s was big for the prank phone call. But like in the 50s was, you know, someone called like 51 Milwaukee 9-7 and then like doing a prank call back then? I mean, it must have happened. I will tell you this because in my fruitless endeavor to try to find out this other like B-team prank phone calls, dude. Your search.

Yeah. I was on the Wikipedia page for just prank phone calls, which exists and is very thorough. Got to read that. And it claims that prank phone calling started somewhere in the 1970s. Right. In Italy. I didn't look too much into it because I was scrolling to get to the page where it was like notable prank phone call artists. Hello?

Oh, no. Oh, no. I think maybe it was not as prevalent then because it's like, oh, no, I just coughed myself a nickel. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, exactly. Those are a lot of money back then. They go to a Copa-esque kind of club. Oh, here's the thing.

The music era that we're in now. Oh, my God. This is a mess. It's not exactly grunge. It's like, my fiancee called it. Don't they go to Tom Jones? They do, but the music that is playing throughout this movie. Like the score of the film.

It's older brother loser fart rot. Oh, wow. That is a specific and correct. It's the aftermath of Cobain dying. It's the afterbirth. Like fucking helmet and collective soul. The helmet who's in this movie. Helmut is in the movie.

It's very much like a Faith No More-esque kind of thing. Also, don't drag collective soul through the dirt. Sometimes I want to feel. Okay, but don't drag Faith No More through the dirt either. The point is it's all this like instrumental version of that kind of music. That's... There's like the slight twang of like the funk influence. It's all there.

You can almost expect someone to rap, but they don't. It's like instrumental smash mouth. It's the same exact score to PCU. It's that same era of music. Perfect. That's exactly right. And it's terrible. And then they go to Tom Jones,

who was trying to make it happen in the mid-90s. This is weird. He was like trying to have this renaissance back then. Remember he was in, I think he's in Mars attacks. Oh, yeah. He's a great character in the 90s. He's got a cameo on the Simpsons. Mr. Burns kidnaps him.

He hitched his star to everything. He's like, oh, I can have fun with myself. Like, look, I'm not that serious. I'm Tom Jones, baby. Yeah, and he's doing a version of, Are You going to go my way? Oh, man. It's like, hey, kids, buy my album.

No. Oh, I love the jerky boys. Very cool. Yeah, I'm on to the jerky boys. Yeah, Jackie. Did you? Is that a maximum sign-out? That's kind of what he did.

And Max von Sino has Tom Jones. What am I doing here? What's new pussycat? Oh, oh, oh. It's not unusual to want to be loved by anyone. Even you, Spector of Death. How are you doing, sizzle nipples? Oh, my God.

Poor von Sido. Oh, actually, I have hemorrhoids. No, actually, for it. Why does everyone always hang up when I say that? I'm having a real problem over here. He would try to do a prank phone call it. Everyone would believe him. He was just like, oh my God, this old man needs help.

This old man is in distress. No, it's a joke. He's calling a pizza place talking about his amorrhoids. And they send a car over to take him to the hospital. This poor old man dialed the wrong number. I was trying to be funny. Do you think that Tom Jones was like, here we go? Yeah, going to be in the Jockey Boys movie.

Definitely. What a fucking idiot. Whatever, like, well, not him. It's not his fault. It's like, whoever sold him on the, like, come on, Tom. Well, they're also, they are both platinum recording artists. Maybe they're right. They're on the same level.

They've been at the Grammys, you think? It could have been on the same label. And the award for Best Prank Phone Call album of the Year goes to Fleetwood Mac. Oh, my first Grammy. finally so they're in this club and it's like they're demanding to be shown a good time and that's they're they're not even like Kamal pretends to be a little bit of afraid but like you know Rizzo or Brennan is like really cool with it yeah and also by the way the Brennan voice versus the Rizzo voice it's the same voice if I'm on the phone I'm like oh

so it's this guy yeah like he's just New Yorking it up a little bit more not a ton to play a Chicago yeah that's no freaking sense great point. Yeah. Do you think that anyone's stopping, they were like, hey, John, you're saying like this guy's supposed to be from Chicago, right? But you're really doing like a hardcore fucking New York, you know. Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, I know.

And you can maybe get away with Jersey with that. Yeah. Sure. And that would be something, right? Then it's like the Jersey Mafia, you know, maybe a little bit of River Wars. Or Philly or something, you know, it's all the same. Yeah. It's not all the same, but it's close. Well, Johnny B. couldn't say Warder.

So they're in this club. Tom Jones sings almost the entirety of that song. Oh, we're running time off the clock. There are two musical performances in this movie. In this 76-minute movie. It's 80-something. And so they see Brett We're there. He's like talking up some lady about how good he is in the mafia.

And like Vincent Pastore is a complete idiot. So they're like, yeah, yeah. And he's kind of afraid of these guys because of the clown massacre thing. So it's like, oh, these guys must. And they make, they say something that a little. alludes to that accidentally. It's like, oh, yeah, well, like a bunch of clowns. It's like, oh, my God, it's them.

So, like, they say to get Brett, we're out of here. So they, like, he gets, like, thrown out, like, you know. And this, that's the gag in this movie. The running gag is this dude is being shit on constantly by them. It's like they're threatening their lives. Not only to have a good night out, but to just keep shitting on this kid. Yeah, to continue bullying this kid for now 22 years. Why am I rooting for the jerky person?

Why? Why would you care about it? happen. I want these guys dead. The Scarface chainsaw scene? Just do it, baby. Just do it. Oh, no, I'm being murdered. Like he's being killed and doing a voice. Kamal's

just got like the steely face and just like, re-wit-re-re. Yeah. Yeah, by the way, you didn't think there could be a worse actor than Johnny B, but here comes Kumal, dude. Yeah, he's not really doing it. No, like both, you look at both of these dudes in this movie and you can see in the back of their eyes, like not at the front of their eyes,

but at the back of their eyes, they're like, we're in over our firements. We're so screwed. Are the checks going to clear you, I think? They could fire us at any second. Do you think this movie was based upon prank phone calls? Actually, like, they called like when they called Caravan Pictures. Hey, let me talk to the guy over there at Caravan Pictures.

I got something called the jerky boys. You're going to love it. Yeah. Oh, wow. It's like a meta thing. It's in within it. By the way, you follow that chain up for a second. Touchstone picture, like Caravan Touchstone, Buena Vista.

This is the mouse, man. Disney is fucking responsible for this. It's outrageous. That was one of the many, many botched things Michael Eisner did while he was in charge. Oh, weird. That he would screw up something. That's odd. And it's somewhere right around here.

It was when I wrote the note of how are they this confident on the phone. Yes. So this happens. They take them out. And then, like, Pastori reports back to Alan Arkin. They're like, look, I think these are the clown guys. We've got to treat these guys with respect. and, like, they call a meeting with everybody.

And Alan Arkin, he sits them down. He's like, hey, hey, doing jerky boys. By the way, this is how our whole crime organization works. We've got everyone on the police payroll. And someone's like, hello, I'm part of the police payroll. And the local government, yes, that's me. I'm the governor of New York. Hello, pleased to meet you, the jerky boys.

It's just like, it's so weird. And he's like, what do you do? You haven't even seen any of these people. No, and, like, what happens then if, like, Alan Arkin goes through this whole thing and then like Johnny B's doing his but then he just drops it right He drops it like mid-sentence And he's like well

I'm glad that you're all here And then assassinates all of these people Sure Because you have no fucking clue These two clowns are Come on. All you know is that there's some guy in Chicago That's talking big on the phone

And there's two fat guys in your house And the way you talk back Is you send back corpses Yes exactly Exactly Yeah let's start a fucking mob war Come on over Come on over

Now your fat guys are dead Even worse than dead Like, you are giving them all the information about your organism. Did they take them for a stroll to show them where all the bodies are buried afterwards? Also, give me a pat down for a wire. I don't know who these guys are. I don't know who these guys are. Exactly.

What is the, this is something, and I will fully admit, because we're talking about this like clown massacre thing, I will fully admit to fucking falling right asleep in this movie. And I had to like rewind part of it. But there is a detail, I think, just slip through the cracks. What is with like the actual murderous clown that we see at one point? That's later in the movie when they go to the show with Kamala being an Egyptian magician. Oh, that's where that clown shows up. So we will get to that at some point.

That's part of the movie. Yeah. So basically. This guy doing flips on stage. So the mafia is like, all right, jerky boys, like you want to stay in town or whatever the situation is like, you've got to do some mafia work for us? But first of all, they just give them an envelope filled with like, I don't know, like five to ten thousand dollars it's a bunch of money they like Alan Arkin gifts them a limousine he's like hey it's a gift and they're like wow that's great but you got to do a favor for us and like yeah

they have to get rid of Mickey's bar right and they also ask them like oh what would you do to intimidate someone and then they go into basically one of their call routines of like yeah but get out the old tennis ball machine and throw boiled potatoes up his ass yeah and then like Arkin's like, that's the sickest thing I ever heard. Can you believe these jerky boys? Can I go? Is it lunch or what? You've literally ripped like the heads and spines off people's bodies. Well, that's what I'm not convinced about now, though, Cabin. You're acting like these guys are like some real sadistic, like, hardcore mafia dudes. I don't know. From what I'm seeing from Alan Arkin and fucking big pussy and then I think like the three other dudes that make up this mafia outfit. I said it. It's some Mickey Mouse shit. I think there.

They're like, wow, those guys are impressive because they do stuff we could only dream of doing. Honestly, this movie is very offensive to the mafia. Big time. Every level. The legit, hardworking mafiosos that are out there day in and day out, doing what they do. He's trying to make ends meet. Trying to get by, just like anyone else. Mafia lives matter, man.

So we go on their like first adventure and they're like, their assignment is to go to Mickey's bar and threaten their beloved bartender. What I thought it was like, oh, now they're going to prank Mickey, and that's another prank phone call we can make. That's going to kill five minutes. Why not, guys? Well, you have to use the weapons at your disposal. Exactly. Johnny B. and Kumal, like, can't walk into a place and threaten somebody.

But sure, call Mickey's bar over the phone. That's what I'm here for. It's like Michael Jordan playing baseball. You know what I mean? Like, a prank phone call maybe could have encouraged Mickey to sell the bar. And that's some, there's like... Instead, they walk right in there and he doesn't... Heat them up, first of all.

He doesn't give a fuck. And he's, you know what this dude kind of reminded me of the beloved character Fuckass in those Boondock Saints movie? He's a lovable guy at the... Oh, my God. This definitely influenced Boondock. Oh, I'm sure Troy Duffy loves this movie. Does anybody remember this guy from one of my favorite movies,

the beginning of Longkus Goodnight? No, he's in that movie? He's the old guy who gets killed in the car accident when she wakes up. Oh, interesting. He looked very familiar. He's probably been in a lot. He plays a drunk, usually, so. But so I guess, like, the mafia has some, like,

real estate development deal going down, and it's, like, this one corner bar is standing in the way of all of this? He won't sell or whatever. So, you know what? The mafia kill that guy. Yeah. Don't hire these other. Just go have Vincent Pastori do it.

Murder this old man. Talk to Uncle Jr. Get this fucking all settled out. Blow up the fucking place. Also, you're coming out of a weak position. We can't get... Please talk to this old man for us. Like, no, no, no.

And I guess that's what emboldens Johnny B and Cabal here. Maybe if they think that they are the killer clowns, it might be a fun thing to see it displayed. So, you know, maybe they were going to kill this guy on Saturday. Well, well, if these guys can do it on Friday, we'll have you do it. Okay. So at some point, like, the mafia finds out that they're not the real guys is the idea. Yeah, I think it's from this. Brett Weir.

Oh, this little weasel. Well, this little weasel is secret hero of the movie because he's constantly trying to get the jerky boy. he's murdered. That's true. And he's been bullied for fucking 35 years of his life. He keeps on trying to tell the mafia that they're just low lives from Queens, just like he is, and they don't believe it because I guess they're so convincing. But then he brings in a photo of them on like Little League together, even though the

photos of them all the same age right now. I don't like, there's a couple of these jokes where it's like if like the whole thing was heightened, that would be a joke. Sure. But then they just like something like that just shows up and they don't say anything. If they played kids at the start as themselves. Yeah.

Well, I love that Brett Weir has this 8 by 10 glossy photo in a fucking vanilla envelope of them playing little. Holy fuck. I did not even think of that. I was like, that's normal. Yeah, why are you keeping a photograph of these people you hate? It's ruined your life. Yeah, exactly. It's not even like the whole

team. It's a fucking 8 by 10. It's a really nice photograph. He just likes being shamed, man. I think that's a much. Oh, he's into it. So the mafia kidnaps them and brings them to a hot dog factory. Heavenly Franks. Where we find out that the hot dogs are made from people the mafia has bumped off as the idea. Well, that is fucking funny.

Yeah, that's something. They have a Wall of Fame. Oh, all right. Certain mafia, or, you know, marks make bigger loads of hot dogs than others because some are fat. I don't think that I would eat human flesh, however. Really? A human flesh hot dog, that might be the form I would go for it. If there was a way to get you into it, you think like a hot dog is a good like stepping stone.

It's not the good cuts of human. It's just like the assholes and the feet. Yeah, that's true. You want to get like a nice steak. You got to go out some more special. Yeah, maybe some pigs and blankets. Yeah. I could do that.

Cover the taste a little bit. A nibbler a little bit. Yeah, yeah. Definitely get mustard on there. Yeah, it did. And so putting psychotropic mushrooms on pizza. You know, your first time you put it on pizza, just to see, feel it out, you don't want to eat it. No, and then, like, you know, when you got it down better, you just, like, chew a bunch of them and wash it down with some Coca-Cola.

Yeah, totally fun. You watch Tron Legacy and have a great night. So, this is, this scene is an example of their bullshit, like, we're going to use another thing that transmits voices to, like, get us out of a jam. Because, like, Johnny B. looks around, like, oh, we got to get out of here. Well, they do a Bud's bunny gag where it's like, let's go tell the boy. boss and you're going to tell the boss you always tell the boss I want to tell the boss they both leave and they're like yeah we're locking you in

so then they go there and so he looks around like how are we ever going to get out of here and much like Bugs Bunny also they are kind of I thought about this they are kind of looney-tunish their methods here but he's like we got to create a division so he sees he's like oh good thankfully there's an intercom in this room

and thankfully these two dudes are downstairs standing right by the other one it's something about like an old guys complaining about something in the building. This is the first time Kamal does a voice, which is his character, I believe it was called Kisle, was like this old guy. Okay. So this is another point where fans

in the theater were just going. Oh, yeah. It's losing their minds. I'll get down there and I'll kick your high knees. Yeah. That is fucking. Hines are mentioned. And so like they kind of just, it's so dumb because you don't need this part, by the way, because what they do then

is just throw garbage on them out the window. Just throw garbage anyway. And But they're the jerky boys. First we gotta like, we gotta soften this up, like butter them up with a prank, with a vocal prank. And then we'll just throw garbage on them. And this kind of begins the big movement of the movie, which is one night out of control kind of.

Yes, and that's kind of should be what the whole movie is. It's much like Scorsese's After Hours, you know, good time, like the exact same thing, the exact same caliber of film. Definitely. Oh, geez, I got this mountain dew bottle filled with L.A. Oh, and I left it at an amusement park. Oh, my God.

And so the, yeah, jerky, we got the wrong guy over here. He's a little bandaged up. It's not my brother at all. Yeah, I beat up that African security guard. I'm very good with dogs. Oh, fuck. Now I just want to watch. good time. I just watched it like three days ago.

It's just the best movie. Yeah, so they throw garbage on their heads. They're like, we got to get that old man. Yeah. And like run back up. And they're like, all right. Well, now they're just coming back up the stairs. And we're still locked in this room. The way they get out is they use hot dog links to like as like ropes, which just, you know what, dude,

you both wait. There is a funny joke, close to funny, where he's like, Kamal, they're like, Kamal's like, what are you guys going to do with 200 pounds of human meat? And they look at Kamal and he's like, 500 pounds. Yeah, that's fair. Yeah, I was like, that's a joke.

That's a joke. That's a joke. But then Johnny B's got something where he goes, like, Kumal takes the hot dog links, right? And he's basically like signals over to the window like we could climb down with these. To which Johnny B responds something about like, what do you think these big dicks are going to hold us? And I was like, oh, my God. I'm laughing. No

Were you laughing because I'm saying it Making fun of it Or did you laugh at it in the movie? I laughed at it now Yeah that's that's about right I mean they got to see Tom Jones That's an easy way to kill yourself So they climb down these hot dog ladders

And run away Then they go to a club to hide They pretend to be roadies to get in Because there's a guy doing the Like oh you gotta look a certain way to get in Well this is what's weird So it's, there's, yeah, there's a bouncer at this club. It's, from what the, the bouncer is dressed as and the scope of people on this line, like, waiting to get past this velvet rope, I didn't expect helmet to be on the state.

That's a studio 64 type, like, 54. On the sunset strip, yes. But, yeah, so that's kind of weird. And then also, like, helmet is playing. So, like, what are you loading in? Yeah, they're ready to go. Well, the funny thing is like... I guess the next band.

Oh, maybe. This kind of reminded me this whole movement of the film is like bright, right? Like, you know what I mean? Like, we're running around. We wind up going to an orc bar kind of a situation.

That orc hardcore show we go to in bright. Oh, that's true. And Ozzy Osbourne would definitely work an orcobite bar. He should be in Bright too. Absolutely. Oh, why not? He could be like...

I'm a goblin or whatever. He's some like elf wizard or some shit. The King of the Elves. He was a guy that was also trying to get in these movie kids. He made a mistake in the 80s as well What was that previous episode? Trick or treat?

Yes. But he also does like, it's almost exactly the same thing as he does for private parts where he's just backstage talking to him. Yeah. Is he in Wayne's World one or two? I think he's in season two.

Yeah, he might be attending Wayne Stock. Oh, yeah. Attending but not performing at Wayne Stock. He's just in line to get his fucking wristband. Yeah, I'm not a big fan of Wayne's World 2. One is fantastic. Wayne's World 2 is terrible. Yeah.

I haven't gone back. You're fine. And I think that's what this movie is too. It's a little bit of Wayne's Worldian. They're hoping for that. Yes. They're hoping that that fire sort of catches over under their thing. And he's like, all right, you guys better rig up helmet who's going to play.

Yeah, he's the manager of helmet. He's also asking like where are the roadies? Where are the monkeys? No, he's asking where the roadies are. And then they tell them that they got a better gig with the monkeys. and then it's all the fucking monkeys. Oh, right. Which is, you know, a funny moment of the show.

Is it? It's probably one of the funniest. You know, I kind of laughed at it because it's coming from Ozzy and not either of the jerky boys. Anytime the jerky boys are off screen, it's a great movie. It is a high-class comedy.

You are not asking where are the jerky boys when they're off-screen, that's for sure. Where's Alan Arkin? Yes, exactly. Go back. He's reading the script. He's in French. reading the script.

So they freak the mafia out at this point with some sort of gay panic situation. They hide inside of a bathroom stall. And like this is three stalls. And like they kick open one door and like there's no. And this is the thing. So they kick open one door and there's a guy that's like, hey man, I'm in here. Kicking up another one that's empty.

And you know they're going to kick up the jerky boys door. But then we start doing gay voice. And it's like, oh, we're going to have sex inside of a stall. And both of these guys who are in this situation because they been pranked by these guys before are like, well, I'm not going to open that door. Do you hear what's going on in there that's actually going on? They

know full well that they have been duped by people doing voices on them. Exactly. So stupid. You've made people into hot dogs. Is that really going to, like, really? Well, exactly. Exactly. What are you talking about? That's where they draw the line. You've seen genitals before being inside

of a hot dog grinder. I would so much rather watch two men do whatever they want to do to each other. God bless And it's like this bullshit, like, Johnny B's, like, sitting on Kumal's lap, like, another, like, cartoon moment. It's so dumb. They wind up not going in there, like, I won't tell the boss if you won't because I don't want to see a gay guy. So they leave and then, like, Kumal, they kind of, like, violently steal this dude's cab. Oh, yeah, they, like, again, you want to talk about good time, you know?

So they, like, they steal this dude's cab and in the process. Yeah. Kumal rips his fucking turban off his head. Steve, I want to ask you a question because you're the only one that grew up in the city. The idea that these people could be this old and not know how to get from Houston Street to Queens again. It's madness.

And look, again, I don't have a driver's license. But if you put me in a car. You know the FDR exists. Yes, exactly. I do know what the FDR is. And also I know to go north. You know what I mean? Like, go south, go north.

It's amazing. They're in this car. and he's like, where are we going? We've got to get back to Queens. He's like, I don't know where we're going. And he's like, he can't even drive this car. He's so confused. It's going all over the road.

I guess it's like they'd never been to Manhattan before and they want to go out, you know, have the mafia take them out and they don't, they've no idea what Manhattan is. Well, maybe they're just really playing up these roles of dudes from Chicago. Wow, the whole thing just got in their own head. Yeah, dude. Like their method right now is what's happening. I see.

So they like, I don't even know how it is they managed to pick up all of the mafia in the cab. I was, you know, it's not on her IMDB, but I'm almost positive. The woman that they're talking to on the phone is Susie Esman. Or it just sounds so much like Susie Esman. Oh, yeah, I could see her trying to get that wiped from her IMB. Susie Hasman paid a lot of money. You pay off the right intern at IMDB, dude, they will wipe it clean. Alan Ark is like, you got to take this off.

I'm nominated for an Oscar. I was in wait until dark. Do you remember that? Yeah, this is older again. Put it back on. Yeah, keep his name on there. You know, I have nothing to be ashamed of Alan. Put Alan Arkid first on the jerky boys.

Can you make it so he was a jerky boy? First at then Little Miss Sunshine. They often credit me as the third jerky boy. against my will so yeah you better believe Kumal's doing this fucking voice hey Alan how with a jerky boys treat you fuck you

how's mash the battle of the Allen's I would love that so Kumal's doing an accent appropriate with the timeline of this movie being made in and the fact that he's wearing a turban driving a taxi

Well, that was his character. Which they steal from the taxi driver. They come in a total hate crime. Oh, absolutely. Yeah, it's ripped right off this dude's head very violently. It's kind of weird for this movie. It's like two seconds of like, wait, what is this movie? Yeah.

And then you're back to the jerky boys because you just hear this. And so, yeah, I assumed, again, this was a quote-unquote classic character from all of those fucking platinum-selling albums. I don't even remember what happened to. Do they just run out of the cab? They go into this club. I know that much happens. Well, they're driving.

and, like, the mafia, it's, it's pastoral as well, and they're like, hey, turn around, Mr. Cab driver, and then he's like, ah, and they run out of the cab, and then they go into this nightclub, where in, well, I mean, because the red smoke bombs just like, they have to run out. They have to run out. They have to get out of that. They wrote, they wrote into this scene that would have tension of being in the cab with the mafia, and then they just like, nah, let's not do that. No, let's not do that. Let's not have that reach any logical conclusion. There is, they don't know where to go. They're like, how do we get to Queens? so stupid and there's this weird because like Kumal's supposed to be the only person in the car so Johnny B. I'm surprised there's not a fucking gay joke here. Johnny B got his head down in Kumal's lap and I was like get ready for this blowjob

joke. Doesn't happen weird unexpected choice for the jerky voice. Yeah it's like the ice skating you don't want to leave those points on the table. It's important to make the gay joke here. It's more of a math game at this point and you don't want to leave those points in the thing. But what he is

doing is operating the medals for some reason. Like they're the little rascals. He's a grown man. Like the, like, Vincent Pastore is like, why don't you hurry up already? And then, like, Johnny B. under, like, in this dude's lap, is like, you got it.

And presses Kumal's foot down to make the car go faster. And then they say, stop. He presses the, I'm like, why, why is this the thing? Why? Yeah, like, they're not little kids. Kumal's not sitting on a fucking telephone book. He's a grown man. They wind up going into this night.

Which, by the way, speaking of the era of Frankenhooker, Paul Bartel. Totally, dude. New York, like, indie B film stable Paul Bartel in this movie. Another italicized legend, do you think? I kind of, right? Kind of more so than the dude from Frankenhooker. Yes. I mean, I was gonna say anybody in Chopin Mall gets it, right? Yeah, that's a good point.

Eating Raoul. He's also long dead. So nobody's seen him in the street these days. Right. He's been dead for a while. But yes, in this movie, he's playing the manager of this club that is hosting an Egyptian magician. Say that five times fast. That is, in case you're wondering, a classic jerky boys bit. Oh, really? Egyptian magician? Oh, I went and saw the Egyptian magician. Well, no, it's just Kamal being like the Egyptian magician in a voice that I'm not going to do.

He calls a club to like audition to play it. Oh, I see. That is genius. Yeah, so like they walk into this club. He's still wearing the turban is the gag. So Paul Bartel sees him and he's like, oh, you're running late. What are you doing? How convenient. Yeah, yeah. Johnny B. SX. Egyptian magician. Johnny B. finally get to disguise. I don't know.

He's dressed like fucking, I don't even know what. He's like a ninja turtle going out trying to hide amongst a man. That's what it is. Actually, you know who he kind of looks like? This is a total, total in-joke for only people that went to purchase college around the time we did. You guys remember the shepherd? Yes, I do. Oh, right.

He looks like he's just wearing this coat. He's got the long hair pole. back into like a curly pony tail he's got these coke bottle glasses. There was a figure on our college television station that just called himself the shepherd. He looks exactly like Johnny B. in his movie. Speaking of though,

you know who must have gotten into prank phone calls on, because they were so far away from society, the Ninja Turtles. You know that they were all the time. They would call Domino's for pizza, but they would never prank Domino. No, you prank Pizza Hut. Pizza is built to be pranked.

but then they would be like oh yeah my glasses fell off they were only the the ninja turtles must have loved the jerky boys oh i bet they did new york in the 90s i mean yeah they both live in the sewer oh no i totally fell down the stairs and broke my shell i mean my glasses fell off hey johnny b i'm your silly ass neighbor uh splinter's like yelling at them to get off the phone racking up the payphone bill. Donatello, what is this silly ass?

How does a chest sizzle? So he starts doing a routine and he doesn't do it very well. The clown comes to say. He takes someone's jewelry from the audience and he's going to like break it and make it go back together,

classic magician stuff. But it's amazing because he just breaks it and he leaves. So Paul Bartel is like, oh, you're an Egyptian magician. Get on stage. You're so famous, even though I don't know what you look like, and now you're here. And then he's like, ah, yes. Ladies and gentlemen, the Egyptian musician, he is about to do this trick that I'm going to explain. Like, get off the stage now. He's totally in on the routine. No, no, no, no. Maybe he's like this magician's biggest fan. Oh, do the jewelry smash one, please.

He winds up, there's, it's an Egyptian restaurant, it seems, and there's an Egyptian lady working there who winds up taking Kumal up to her apartment. Because, by the way, his voice he's doing is so convincing that a native speaker would totally be like, yep, he's Egyptian. Falling for it. She takes him upstairs and she wants to have sex with him. And I don't know why he doesn't. Because this is. Is she supposed to be unattractive? She looks pretty good-looking.

She's later revealed to be underage, which is impossible. Wait, what happened? This one was like 40 years old. I guess that one. It is so stupid. Towards the end of the movie when the cops are like racking up their. crimes. Oh, I see. Oh, and she's underage or whatever. But she also

this is kind of a racist joke. Oh, it's 100%. When they do the fucking like, oh, let me do a snake charmer flute to try to get your dick to raise up. Because he's not into this for some reason. We don't know what's going on. I think it's because it's Kumal, a guy who is

wrapped up in a prank phone call team called the jerky boys who is now somehow unbelievably even to him making a movie of this. And so this man, you just, and this is one of the scenes I'm talking about where in their brain they have to be like,

we are so out of our element. Because he's laying on this bed, he's just like so totally nervous looking and it's not acting. He's just like, what am I doing here? I make prank phone calls. I just, I don't know anything here.

Maybe he becomes part of the proud boys. Maybe that's he doesn't think he should be having sex instead of giving up his power. The jerky boys are in cells. 100%. Or there might be Vols sells. What's that? It's voluntarily solid. That sounds more like that. You think so? No. This one

is throwing yourself out. He's there. He's got it. But he's saying no. I mean, if we're led to believe that they actually care about their lives and they're worried about the mafia, it's not convincing. But maybe that's why he wants to get out of this situation as fast as possible

because the mafia's down. You shack up with this lady all night. Maybe for a couple of days till the heap goes down. Exactly. You do not leave that. Meanwhile, Johnny B. in his Ninja Turtles disguise of the trench coat and hat and coke bottle glasses. You're going to be sitting next to a ref. Hey, how's it going, Johnny? Successfully gets out of there, out of the mafia checkpoint.

Yeah, every person with his Saul Rosenberg. And this is, it's really dumb because, hey, pops. Oh, yeah, Vincent Pastor. He's like, hey, old timer, what are you doing? He was like, yeah, I'm old. Just look at this guy. Yeah, his trash haircut is fucking everywhere. You're the same age.

It's true. You're chasing a man with long, flowing, blondeish hair. This guy has long, flowing, blondeish hair. Case closed. But I didn't see him wearing Coke bottle glasses before. Clearly a different person. Yeah, it's like Clark Kent. So Johnny B.

escapes. Kumel escapes sex. And thankfully. Then the next act comes out, and it's Sparky, the clown who, now the mafia. I was afraid because they think it's the killer clown from the stories, but it's not. It's just a dude who's a clown that does flips and juggles knives. Yeah. Was this, was Sparky the Clown a thing?

I don't know. I remember. Because that seems like that would have been a bit. Sure, maybe. Maybe, yeah, you never know. Either this or like mad TV. If you remember, please don't write in. Please just leave it alone.

I don't want to know that bad. I'd like to forget 1992 to 1995, if you don't mind. So, yeah, they escaped the mafia. you finally, they get back to Johnny. This is when the police picked them up at Johnny B's mother's house and they do something with a fucking answering a machine tape that you don't know what it is

until the end of the movie kind of thing. Right, and there's a bullshit thing here where by the way, the elderly uncle from Christmas vacation is constantly sitting outside this house. And so the cops go to the door. Yeah, and he's like, he's like, oh, I'm naked, you can't commit.

Like, he's trying to do Saul Rosenberg. And the cops are falling for it. impossible. Yeah, yeah, and this old Bazar has to be like, you know, they're in there, right? Like, of course they are. Are you stupid? Later on in the movie, he's revealed to be like an old mob, like saint from the old country. Like fucking Don Corleone? Yeah, that Alan Arkin

as a child, they do a flashback, had saw him. Yeah, man, that's dumb. Insane. So they were arrested, and this brings us to like where the movie started. Yeah, where it all began. fucking bags over our heads and whatever. So this one crazy night leads them all back into this house again. Yeah. And then immediately they put these masks on that they just happened to have.

Yeah. And then that's that. And then the cops are like, yeah, you can keep those on. Keep it on through the press. So I guess no one photographs. But this is what Steve was talking about, though. Like at the beginning, like, why would the press be that? This is just an arrest that happened.

Of two nobody, two fat losers. That did nothing. Really? I mean, it's... I think I understand what the point of the masks are. Ooh. It's to hide our faces and to hide our eyes while we discover each other's bodies. We're the jerky boys.

Like, you know what I mean? Like, that's kind of what we're doing. Oh, that might be something. You know, you're at mom's house. How long can prank phone calls go on before pornography goes on? And eventually eventually you've made like your last phone call for the evening. You make prank phone calls all day.

You get really horny. Nobody's there about your best bud, man. Then you jerk each other off. Oh, we are the jerky, boy. It's kind of crazy that it took us this long to get to that. That's really impressive, guys. I'm proud of all of us. We held it off this long.

And listen, you know, it's totally fine if you want to jerk off your friends. We're not trying to shame. No, I'm not shaming that at all. Strong bonds. But the masks, you know, just, you know, clear eyes with that. You know what I mean? So they try to tell these officers like, hey, man, Frank Rizzo is fake. it's a thing I do like watch I'm doing it right now see it's me believe me

and the guy's like I don't know it just kind of sounds like your voice maybe you should have created a different voice and there's a psychological profile on Frank Rizzo with this art that is very bizarre it looks like a demon which I think is like part of the gag maybe it looks like a little goblet of some sort but it turns out like Frank Rizzo is an actual mafia guy the cop is like hey no see I got this whole huge fucking file on Frank Rizzo. What are the odds? Maybe don't pick a name like Frank Rizzo.

Like that, you know. They go to his mother's house. The mafia goes to the mother's house. They got her down. They're going to blow her away. They put her feet into cement. Yes. Yes. They get two phone calls. One phone call they call they call the mom. That's when the mafia knows to pick them up.

The other one, they call a demolition expert. Yeah. Like it's like, yeah, let me settle a score. I'm like, you're in jail. Yep. What does Kamal have parents? Is Kamal of anyone that cares for him? I don't think so, dude. I think he's living at Johnny B's house since childhood. Wow.

Like they took him in off the streets. Kumal's father was killed in a prank phone call war. Call that lady that, you know, last night, maybe like make a plan. Make a date. Oh, right. You know, Kamal make a date. Well, somehow she's under 18. Oh, that's impossible.

But somehow. Well, she, like, it must be like a glamour, like Melasandra or something. Yes. She's the actual Egyptian magician. And also, if you've got fucking hand jobs from your best friend every night going home, I can see becoming a Valsall and being fine with that. Yeah, that's true. Why go out for hamburger when I got steak at home?

So, yeah, he makes this prank phone call to a demolition site. And it's one of, this is that category again of like you were supposed to be at the job and you're not doing the job. That's a total prank phone call subcategor. You boys were supposed to be down here yesterday. You know, and it's just like, yep. And why? We won't know until, yep, the stinger scene in this movie. I can't believe it.

And I love that when we see what that is, like that was Kumal's fucking one phone call to do this. So the mafia then bales them out of jail, which is kind of great. So that they can kill them. They bring them to this warehouse. We're doing legit cement shoes. Yeah.

Ellen Arkin, not the bath Ellen Arkin, not the bear! Hey, Alan, I saw that cement shoe scene from the Jerky Boy. Yeah, I'm auditioning for the West Wing tomorrow. Stick that, you pipe and smoke it, you bald fuck.

I'm the Allen in Hollywood. Oh, hey, Alan, I'll talk to you later. I got to get a haircut. So the jerky boys are like, all right, once and for all, Frank Rizzo is fake And they're like, we don't believe you So then they're just, they immediately turn around

And they're like, all right, fine, we'll call him And it's like, all right, your whole thing's falling apart But whatever, let's get this movie over with They call and it's like He calls Johnny B's answering machine Yes, and like Alan Arkin has this whole conversation Because Johnny B was a genius And like made this call just so

Wherein like it would all be all the responses Would line up to whatever Alan Arkin is saying And it's funny and he calls him fruity ass A couple more times That's great That's when you have Alan Arkin being like Booty ass

You know It gets all mad about it And they're like You know what We're just gonna murder these guys They're like sort of left off the hook And then it's what's his name? Neil

What's this guy? Whatever. Brett Beard Brett Weir Who's not I guess They're about to kill him They're like oh you messed Yeah you gave us the wrong info

Or whatever And he's like no no No and he calls back And it's just the same Recorded thing again And so it's We're chasing these idiots again through the streets and at a certain point the police are in on it and

yeah it's revealed that the cops are in cahoots with the mafia right now they're the mafia and the cops showing up to both get to get them and this movie like ends really quickly it sure does it's kind of amazing because they're like how are the jerky boys gonna get out of this one because it's they want to oh they wind up getting a tape from of alan ark and saying that he's in with the police or whatever well this is what i don't because when they call the house and they're talking to them. Oh, right. He's talking to answer machine. It's being recorded by the listen. Now,

it's been a while since I've had to have an answering machine, so I don't know how, but like what they're listening to, like what you're hearing of Frank Rizzo is just the outgoing message basically. But the beep hasn't happened. So how is the machine recording Alan Arkin?

This is very technical, I think. Sure. They show Johnny B. setting up this device. I think it's how they captured their prank phone calls. Oh, oh, I see. So it's like some, it's like an answering machine and another recording device. You know how Pee We gets his breakfast made?

That's essentially with this, but with the answering machine. Gotcha, okay, now it's all crystal clear. So they're like, so this movie's like, and like I also thought like Kumal's like call to the demolition expert was going to come in at the end. It's like a big demolish the hideout. Something something.

Something. No, they wind up going to Times Square. And this is, boy, is this. dumb. Because first of all, they immediately get there. Remember when they had navigation trouble 25 minutes ago? That's over with. Well, they take the subway. Oh, okay. Yeah. Oh, you're

right. Yeah, they do come out of the subway. And it's like this crazy, they're at these two pay phones in the middle of Times Square, man, the crossroads of the world. And the camera is like zooming around them doing this 360 thing as they're calling like all the major media outlets to be like,

yeah, here's this thing about how the mafia's in cahoots with the NYP, who's the hero? Oh, Frank Rizzo. Also, Kamal's still trying to make prank phone calls and Johnny B's like, are you fucking kidding me right now? Dude, they are addicted to prank phone calls. This is why they can't hold jobs. True life, I'm addicted to prank phone calls. I would watch that. I would totally watch that. I would watch that. Oh, my God. They've got to have like rehab centers for this. The Schadenfreude from that alone. I'd be

hard for days. Well, then one of us could come over. Well, it's the exact same cast of True Life I'm addicted to pornography. It's the same five guys. Yeah, they could just extend the production five days and that's it. Yeah, when I'm not watching pornography in front of my grandmother, I'm making prank phone calls in front of her. Man, she's just like, Tony, are you listening?

It's like, no, I'm watching pornography on my laptop four feet from you, grandma. Thanksgiving dinner's ready. True life. Ew. So yes. And then the movie's over. The movie, like, immediately just kind of. fans wherein like it's a yeah it's a it's a bad fake news account of WNN like a CNN fake thing yes it's

like this dude this dude reads like the newscaster reads everything that happened to everybody and then it's like and frank Rizzo was quoted as saying that the real honor goes to the jerky boys and like that's you see like the newspaper headline it's like the jerky boys are born yeah and on the national stage and in jirap is Lord. And Niedemeyer died in Vietnam. Exactly. Senator Blutarski. And then this is, I hate this. This is always lazy comedy writing when it's like the end of the thing.

And then they gave us cushy jobs. And they're just like, why? Like, by the way, the gag should be the working for the fucking phone company. Like that is the thing. The detective goes down too in this. He goes down and they're given cushy jobs for the city. and it's the two of them sitting in this office and they're like, well, what are we going to do at work today?

And Johnny B is like, I got an idea. Get fired. Let's prank phone call somebody. And man, oh man, 1993, who are we prank calling? The president of the United States. Because, of course, you know, it's a city of New York calling the White House. Look, it put right through. And it's just, he's doing the same.

Like, someone picks up when it's like, White House, can I help you? And it's just that same, like, yeah, put me in. Put me in touch with Whippers in charge over there. It's like, oh, hey, fellas, what's going on? Yeah, jerky ass. Me, me, me, me, me. Well, it's like, hey, Roger, is that you? It's like a Roger Clinton joke because we were very into that at the time.

We loved Roger Clinton, man, almost more than Bill himself. Hey, Chelsea, I don't remember what's our prank by the jerky boys or what? Oh, shit, is this a documentary? That's to date, Trump's favorite record is the first jerky boys. I love it I love pranks That's why I'm doing a prank government It's that

Led Zeppelin 4 And then Abby wrote Just that whole notion of cushy jobs And you're not smart enough To have them work at the phone company What it'll be great if Kamala at the end It puts his hand on Johnny's hand I'm like look

We can't fuck this off I have an apartment now It's amazing They're roommates by the way Once they live move out of the mom's house of course there's going to be the Dricky Boys Clubhouse but to that point like these characters

should grow from this experience they don't it's just they're like and then how are you going to do Jerky Boys too that's the real question well see that would be the thing right if you're trying to set up a sequel it's like oh no now we have to do a prank phone call for some reason and we get pulled back into it maybe it's like Ghostbusters 2 where the city

sues them afterwards yeah kind of a thing and then they're dressing a spark of the clown to go to kids birthday parties oh perfect by the way I forgot the newscaster mentions that sparking the clown being arrested for that slaughter so it's yeah wait was it the real clown wait what yeah who could care johnny's adult occult bookshop what do you want uh so we end with an l7 cover of hanging on the telephone the great blondeie song so that was fucking great and then we have a stinger of brett weir's house being

destroyed bret weer jumps out because he's always bragging he just bought a place on dimmar's boulevard and i love here's a guy he's working hard for the mafia he's He's so proud of the fact he just bought his first home. He's living in Upper Dipmars man. He's got the whole building to himself. And he's not even bragging. He's just like telling them where he lives. Yeah, it's like, hey, jerky boys, what have you been up to lately?

Prank phone calls? Okay, I recently bought a house. I'm going to get that fucking guy. You hear him telling us how he bought a house? Fuck him. That's the story arc. The story arc is to destroy this person who did nothing to them. So he jumps out of the house just as the claw is coming in.

And I'm like... Which is like, first of all, the check to make sure no one's in there. I'm going to say this girlfriend is like, Did. Crystal? Crystal? No, fucking crystals in there. She's in the shower.

I'm alone you know. Yeah. But I guess it's a cartoon, so whatever. Whatever, indeed. And then, oh, yeah. The most baffling part of this movie. Executive producers, Emilio Estevez and Tony Danza. I miss that.

Yes. Serious? Yeah. Big fans. Wow. I almost threw a rock at my television. First of all, Emilio Estabas cannot be a big fan of anything. You have to be a small fan.

I see. A short fan. I just, that's one of those like, why. Oh, I thought you're going to say the last song, which is the, it's a jerky boys rap thing. Yes, where we're using, I hate these clips. We're using audio from their fucking phone calls. And it's like a rap song. And there's a beat over it.

So it's not like even a rap and Rodney situation. It is sub rap and Rodney. If you can imagine what that's like. oh I hated this I would not recommend this I usually go last straight out the gate fuck this this is disgusting these people are terrible

everyone should be ashamed of themselves I was surprised I would not recommend this either I was surprised how many people were on my feed last night being like oh man I kind of like that movie I've seen that movie 150 times remember it from childhood and they remember being you know a fat kid eating hot dogs at home in the summertime

watching and it's like Eric's getting a little auto buying Tropical over there. Hell yeah, I am. So that's why I would say it's a watch it. It's something to see maybe once. I don't think, it's not a real recommendation. Sure, sure.

It's, if you saw this growing up, go back and see how terrible it actually is. Or like, if you're like, that was a movie, seeing is believing a little bit. So it's a very light to borderline no recommendation for me. Yeah, I'm of that mind because it's an oddity. Exactly. Like, like Mafia with Prince Funk. Like, really? Nobody would have pitched this

That's the thing What it is fascinating about it is that it exists at all Yeah And it is that like Nobody knew how to make this movie So they just kind of made this movie Like right Somebody was like given the task of

Make a Jerky Boys movie They sold 8 million records Figure it out Yeah yeah exactly And it's weird because that's that same I was thinking about this the other day You'll get an episode It's just speaking of like the 90s

Like so you'll get an episode of Seinfeld Sure Where the plot revolves around something where it would be impossible in this day and age for that to happen. Sure. Right? So from like that standpoint, like you can't do this anymore. Like we have IDs, we can block phone numbers,

that whole thing. So yeah, I see what you're saying about the oddity, but I hated this so much and I hated that mullet. And usually I'm a sucker for a good mullet. Something about this mullet in particular. It is a bad film. That's the jerky boys from 1995 directed

by James Melikoni. And thanks a lot. Brian from Kansas City for calling. this one in. For more WHM, go over to WHMpodcast.com or find us over at HeadGum. Rate and review the show wherever you get it. We would greatly appreciate it. We are at WHM podcast on Twitter and Facebook.com slash we hate movies. Right into the mailbag. We all hate movies at gmail.com.

If you were a big prank phone call maker, I want to hear those sad stories. Now, Steve Sadek, next week, listener request month continues. And what do we have coming up? Give me another second thing. Right, we'll just sit here. Well, no, actually, what we should talk about really quickly. Sure. I mentioned Bright this episode.

And if you want to hear an episode on Bright, you should go to Patreon because we have an awesome Patreon. And we have an episode on Bright. We have an episode on... Man of Steel. And coming up this month, a listener requested, Ghost Rider, Spirit of Ventures. Oh, that's right. Also known as just Ghost Rider 2. Which is what it should have been, because who could care.

Just slap a big fat 2 on there. Put a 2 on it. Put a 2 on it and go home. okay uh you got it yeah buddy what are we doing over there gonna be i'll always know what we did last i'll always know what you did last summer yeah we didn't do anything but you did something and i will always know what that is uh so until next week with another useless horror sequel i'm andrewing stephen say it act eric siska chris cabman take it easy That was a HitGum podcast.