We Hate Movies - S8 Ep359: Episode 359 - X-Men Origins: Wolverine

Episode Date: May 29, 2018

On this week's episode, the gang kicks off the 2018 Summer Blockbuster Extravaganza by welcoming back friend of the show, director and X-Men x-pert, Sean Weiner, to chat about the major letdown that was X-Men Origins: Wolverine! Honestly, why the bone claws? Couldn't we get just a little bit of blood here? And did the filmmakers know a single thing about any of these mutant characters? PLUS: The Blob narrates some in-film trivia to keep you interested in what's on screen and also to let you know when you can go to the bathroom! X-Men Origins: Wolverine stars Hugh Jackman, Liev Schreiber, Danny Huston, Lynn Collins, Kevin Durand, Dominic Monaghan, Taylor Kitsch, Will.i.am, and Ryan Reynolds; directed by Gavin Hood. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Now on today's program, we kick off the summer blockbuster extravaganza talking about a real wet fart of a superhero movie. It's X-Men Origins, Colin Wolverine. I'm Andrew Jupin. Eric Sisko. Stephen Sadek. And Sean Winer. And we hate movies. Hello, everyone. Welcome to the program. Thank you for tuning in as always. And thank you for our good buddy. I'll call him the X-Men expert.

Oh, wow. Absolutely. Wow, you're flattering me today. No, no, Sean Winer. You ain't shit You can be the expert X-Men executive Exist You just have to get his materials ready for him That's your job Pay my dues

Well it was great because I was like Sean I know you're so busy Do you want to come on the show And he was like as long as I'm not talking about Transformers That's right Because that's the last time you were on I was burnt out You were pretty upset

I'm still upset Thinking about it just being back in this room Oh, man, you haven't flashbacks? Car-related flashbacks? This is the transformer room. I haven't gotten into a truck since that date. There's a couple of vehicles in this movie, though.

Not many, but a couple. This was a vehicle... For Hugh Jackman. Oh, yeah. I just saw you, I saw you taking it, and I stole it from you. Snatched her right out of candy from a fat guy. Small programming note,

this episode should have come out two weeks ago, but I fucked it up. Well, because... Whoa. The whole thing was... He's like, oh, cool, we'll release this when Deadpool 2 comes out. And then I think when they moved Avengers up, they also moved up Deadpool. Right.

And now this is just coming out what it is. And we're bringing the 10-year-rule kind of for nothing, I think. Everything about this movie is for nothing. And if you don't remember, this was the solo Wolverine outing from 2009, directed by Gavin Hood, who had never given a flying fuck about the X-Men, which is the kind of person you want directing X-Men movies. Sure. What did he do? Like, rendition? He directed

Sozzi. Sozzi was his big movie that he won the Academy Award for Foreign Film or was nominated. I think they won. Yeah. But then also, yes, he directed rendition, which, speak of a wet farts. Oh, my Lord. That's my review of rendition. Ooh. That was an air conditioning movie.

You guys have a soundboard. That's right. We got a buttboard. It's the Michael Winslow's soundboard. Well, no, that's what redacted text sounds like. When you use the black marker on And you start, like, well, we took the suspect to Guantanamo Bay and That was half of Zero Dark 30. Was it anyone's first time watching this movie?

No. Sean and I saw this together. That's right. Oh, shit. I was wondering which one of you. Andrew kept saying like, yeah, I saw it. I was like, yeah, I was there. Yeah, I saw it in theaters.

You saw it in theaters. you guys saw it in theaters together or you work print buds no we saw in theaters I saw it on work print and then I saw it well I can't legally say that I may no um what allegedly I might have no way does it make you feel to have stolen from Rupert Murdoch to take money out of that man's pocket pretty great I totally did it how about that I downloaded that work print and I watched it and I got to tell you we went to the theaters afterwards like when it actually came out because my wife's a big Hugh Jackman fan and I was like okay I'll see it again just to see what they did with all those special effects

I couldn't see. The answer? Not much. Not much. It's actually more interesting to watch this movie in the green screen format. Because then you're using your own imagination. How did it look? Like was it actually without any of the... I think there were a couple and then

there was like temporary effects and then there was just big farts of green and... It's like an improv show. It's like... Yeah. Yeah, it was whose line is it anyway actually? And the craziest part was weapon 11 was played by Colin mockery And it took place entirely in a

bars basement The biggest amount of green screen was The smoke stack fight at the end There was also wires Visible Wires Yeah they're pretty much visible In the actual movie too They might as well be due

This may as well be a canon picture It's not very good This was obviously this is We were doing this because Deadpool 2 came at et cetera et cetera And yeah, Deadpool's your feeling so guilty about it. I am. Second time you're bringing this up.

I feel like I let people down. I'm never going to let you live it down personally. Why did they release these things earlier? Is it as the expert? No, I don't know. I mean, they moved up Avengers for sure. Avengers. Because of like downloads or pirating or no reason?

No, I think it was just they were like, all right. Solo probably. Yeah. I think well, both of those properties were trying to get far away from solo because then I think it was like, Deadpool 2, they were like, oh, cool, well, Avengers move. Now we can move. We can both get away from Star Wars as fast as possible. But it's like they're the same fucking company.

So Wolverine Origins. Oh, sure. Oh. Three of those X-Men movies had come out. Two of them were pretty good. One, we did an episode on. Chies was running stale. This is pre-first class.

And they were like, let's finally give everybody what they want, which is more Wolverine, which actually wound up being less Wolverine in this movie than I imagined. Well, he's not Wolverine anymore. Like, in the first two, probably in all three of the first X-Men movies, like Wolverine's stocky and gruff and, like, has the, you know, characteristic hairdo and all these things. And this one, he's, like, kind of like, light and, like, you know, looking good. And he's a little, he smiles a lot.

He's got, like, long floppy hair in this movie. Well, he's not the character yet. Like, this is the prequel. You know, yeah, all right. So, look at it. He's got feathered hair. It is the 1970. It is.

The only visualization of the 1970s in this whole movie. Not only is it the 70s. It's also the 1870s. Actually, also before the 1870s. It is. I believe we start in 1845. Oh, my God. In the Canadian woods.

It was just a lad. And he's like already born a mutant back then. Yes. Yeah. Well, they're all born. Well, you know, I was just thinking, you know, if he's a mutant, maybe Davy Crockett was a mutant that just had a half raccoon head. Is that the extent of the power? Yeah, this is as far as I thought it through.

It's just like when Mario had that raccoon suit. Oh, and then the Bruce Davidson character from the first movie, that's just Andrew Jackson. Okay. So, like, what else would be David Crock? What do you like eat garbage? Is that what else? Is there a face on the raccoon or is there no face? No, there definitely has to.

That's terrifying because they have a terrible sound. A little side face. Oh, he's got. little raccoon hands, too? Yeah. And this would scare his enemies, and this is why the frontier bowed before Davy Crockett. That's why Bowie made that knife. I don't cut

that thing off his head, man. That's the only thing that's going to do it. No, I'm going to blow your mind right now. That knife came out of his hands. Oh, wow. Okay. Bowie Knifeman. It's kind of like Ryan Reynolds at the end of this movie. And who is those guys that went to Oregon? Clark.

Leopold. Lewis and Clark. Lewis and Lewis and Clark. Yes. Those are, didn't they go down a river? They're down, aren't they in the south? I don't know American history.

I don't care about explorers. They went to the West Coast, right? Anyway. They went to Cali. All those guys are mutants. Okay. That's how they could live out there. All the pioneers that lived were mutants.

Pocahontas was a mutant. Yeah. Well, that we know. That was a real person. Yeah. In the, in the Disney version of Pocahontas, one of her, like, woodlidden animal friends is a little raccoon.

Yeah, because guess what? Davy Crockett got killed and then that part lived and like scurry it off. David, oh, first of all, first of all, first of all, I'm pretty sure your timeline's way off on that. I'm almost positive about that. This timeline makes no sense either. So why is that time line? You saved it. So we open, yeah, this is a kind of a 30-second, uh, like a, a, uh, a,

Like a comedy sketch adaptation of Wolverine Origin, the actual comic that came out that is good, but it's a... I don't think you need to... It's a character. Like, he was always a loner and didn't know who he was. That's the way you should have kept it. Yeah, why is it? Why? War Bros.

Do we need to, like, stretch it? But, like, even War Bros is fine. I don't need to see him as a little kid, though. Is that other little kid supposed to be... That's Sabreto. That's Sabreto. They're bros. Are they, like, Amish or something?

No, they're just an old-time kid. And later they have long sidebirds. They're beards. They both have beards, Sands mustache, which the Amish has shaved their moustaches because it was a popular thing to do in the German military and they were pacifists, right?

Oh. So I was wondering if there was any type of Amish connection to these characters. It's a good question. I don't know. Probably not. But no, the dad has that, the fake dad. No, real?

Or both dads? Yeah. All dads. All dads. Back then had that. Hey, not all. dads, dude. But yeah, that was in 2000.

They finally came out and were like, everything you wanted to know about Wolverine's origin as a baby in Canada. And the answer is, I don't want to know any of that because the only thing interesting about the character who said he doesn't know who he is. So you take that away, and it's

the huge acumen and Wolverine we have in this movie. Yes, it's not, yeah, it's not something I ever wanted to hear about or know about. Was this true to whatever that comic book was that? And actually, to the comics credit, it's actually a good comic book. It's just like a well-told and well-drawn comic. Yeah, I never read it.

I'm a purist. I was like, I don't want it. I'll pretend in my world that didn't exist. It makes total sense to me. When did that come out? The year 2000. Oh, you just said that. So the same year as that first movie.

Probably, yeah. Or like 2000, maybe 2001, 2002. Uh-huh. But here's one thing that I, and this is from the 90s. I don't like the idea of bone claws. Bone claws make no sense to me.

Bone claw is ready. Sorry. So, because the whole, the reveal is in, what, Wolverine 75, I thought? or 25? Anyways, that like Magneto pulls the adamantium off of Wolverine in a pretty awesome way. He's like, ah!

And suddenly he still has his claws. And we all thought that the claws just wore part of the metal. Right. But he also turns into Pharaoh Wolverine for like two years of the comics. Yeah. Where every month you get a comic and you read it, it's just this like

Pharaoh Wolverine going like, he's eating garbage. There's no story for like two years, but you're still paying $1.75. What's the losers walking around and they'd be like, what's that guy doing? And he'd be like, and then it would be to be continued.

There was a three-issue arc during that time of him up inside the Ex-Mansion attic eating the insulation and everyone had to like hit him with a broom. What is this doing up there? Get out of here. Oh man, it's Xavier like mentally pushing a broom against the ceiling.

We have pests. Oh, it's an old house. You'll have to excuse all the rodents. Oh, no. Logan droppings. Hank, take care of it. Oh, this is worse than when we had the Batman up there. That it's just beast eating the shit off the floor.

I'm a monster. Yeah, he definitely eats shit, right? Definitely. Or, definitely. So he's reading Jane Austen and eating shit at the same time. So, listen, you see, like, dogs sometimes eat droppings of other dogs. Stand a reason that is usually the reading Dostoevsky is when they're doing that So yeah, but yeah, the bone claws don't make sense because like usually his his claws are shown to be knives, right?

Like they're shown to be like very thin, very like mechanical looking knives. So there's this bone under there? Yeah, how are you wedging a bone in that? So was he born like he was born with the power of healing, right? That's the whole thing. And then also bone claws. Yeah, exactly. Like what?

I got two. I'm with you I think it should be just like someone put some ginsu knives in there Oh this guy could heal from anything Let me shove some knives up there That's what I mean Wasn't that the thing

That was I mean that was the thing And then they kind of reconded it When Sean said they didn't Like Wolverine 75 But like what Who is that for Who was like oh of course Bone Clause

Well I guess it's like somewhere new to go with it Yeah Yeah And in the comic it takes I don't remember how long But it's like two or three years he's like getting adamantium grafted to him and then it's not taking

and then it's back to the bone claws. Oh man, it's like a bad liver train. Yeah, and then Apocalypse finally is like, okay, I can do this operation. I can do this operation for you. Dude, it's just Apocalypse putting on like a mask in a surgical theater.

So yeah, we're in Canada. There's a very good, so it's just a James Howlett, James Jimmy Howlett, Logan to his friends. His sick in bed, his friend Victor is next to him. Wait, wait, his name is not even Logan. No. That's a fake name.

He's called Jimmy through this whole movie. That's why I'm asking, because I did notice that. Oh, you mean the comic equivalent? Is he like Jimmy Howlett in the comics at any point? I mean, that's what comes in in this origin story. It was always just Logan. You never knew what his real name was. In this movie, then it's James, Jimmy Howlett, Logan, to his friends.

Did they address that he just started calling himself Logan in this movie? Did I miss it? I kind of miss that too, I think. He picks it up, I think, once he's, like, D-Force, like, jumping out all the trees in BAMF. Oh, I see. He's like, oh, he's trying to get away from Stryker, so he just calls himself Logan, I guess.

Yeah, I think he's under an assumed name, isn't he? His dad's dad's last name is Logan. Oh, right, his real dad. So basically, this guy comes in, Master Howlett, who's a very good, young-looking Hugh Jackman, dude. Like, he looked a lot like you... So much so that you're like, I think that's you Jackman. He also...

see him. He looked like the prestige. It's not huge Jackman, it's small Jackman. He looked like that dude Linus Roach who played, he was on Law and Order, but he was also Mr. Wayne in that's fine. One of them in Batman movies?

That's fine. That's fine. What, Wayne? Thomas. Thomas. Thomas. There we go. Thomas, Tommy Wayne, Batman to his friend. Oh, Batman to his friends, of course. Husband to Martha. And mother to me. Mother to Martha.

So. Who's Martha's, who's Martha's mother? Oh, that's a 12-issue arc coming out, Martha's mom. Yeah, dude, Martha's mom turns out, bone claws. It was a crazy time for comics, dude. What do you think would happen if you find out that I secretly had bone claws? Would you be surprised? Yes.

Well, you're about the height of what Wolverine is supposed to do. Wolverine should be, fucking Stretch Jackman over there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, you're perfect. to play what Wolverine was originally Yeah, I gotta hit some weights. I sometimes get scared looking at you.

I was like, oh my God, he's gonna eat garbage in front of me. Oh, you live with me for a year, you pick some things up. So, he is, the dad comes in, he's like, hey, Victor, get out of here. Like, he seems like a hired hand. And then this other guy comes in,

he's like, oh, your dad's here, Victor. Tell you, dad to go home he's drunk again they go downstairs they scuffle his dad shoots uh the other dad uh and wolverine little jimmy hallock comes out bone claws kills victor's dad and in his dying words like you are my actual son or whatever it's like wow that's a lot for three and a half happening in three and you have a screaming to the heavens shot oh dude we are yelling to the heavens so much in this movie but that little kid trying to do it that's pretty choice also was He's like, no, these bone claws.

Curse these bone claws. See, it should be, that's the first time that that happens. I think it's supposed to be. But does the kid do enough of a, what the fuck is this? Yeah, I think he's just in such a rage. Right. He goes through one of them berserker rages. Now, is that canon that they're like half brothers?

Or was that created for this movie? Created for this movie. Because Wikipedia told me that, but you know, you can't trust anything on the internet. Well, there was always like an older boy at school, like, yo, you know that, Sabretooth, the Wolverine is his son, right? And then you're like, wait, what? Is that in the comic? No, like, it was just one of those things.

Sabretooth is like bigger, and then the Wolverine's like a little smaller. Like came out of, like, Wolverine came out of saber tooth. Oh, I see. Just like bad Bronx facts of comic books that you would get. Wolverine is, uh, he's an infant. That's why he's so small. He's like, wait, which? Because there was no Wikipedia.

You're like, what comic is like, no, don't worry about it. It's the son. I got the, I got the trade. I'll bring it in tomorrow. you know and Charles Xavier's his mother wait how wait how did that have

trust me my cousin told me yeah they figured it out he knows somebody who knows Stanley all right no there's a Wolverine 94 you won't find it

it's off the stage you don't have anymore I bought it from a guy outside of the garden he's a fucking herb though you ain't gonna get that shit no more

he ain't there got fucking arrested but you would that's that's something it was kind of like a bring the Code in Tomorrow situation wherein like you would just get bad

comic book information passed on because like nobody knew shit about shit and like you'd have to like buy comic book cards to see what the hell was going on. Was that the purpose of comic book cards to give you like canon facts? It was a good way to like catch up and know what the fuck was going on.

Oh interesting. Like you got into, you can't like jump into this shit. Yeah. There's so much. No. So if you have a bunch of cards, they're flash cards.

You're just learning all the shit. A lot of it is not true on the back of it. Oh really? It would be like, oh, PowerPoints. And you're like, oh, okay, so now I know this, this superhero is stronger than that superhero. Right. And then that's just not the truth. But one time Charles Oakley told me that Cyclops and G. Gray were actually brother-sistered.

Y'all, dude, it's real. It's real happened. Well, it's fucking gross, but it's real. You are listed to people near Madison Square Garden. You never read the issue where Nykrawler runs for mayor. Rid the city of vandalism and graffiti. So maybe too much of a tangent, but it brings us back to X-Meddle. Thank God, sure.

And it connects to the cards. So there were, you know, every year there'd be a different, like, card set that would come out and you'd collect them all. But then slowly but surely, you'd get, like, pervy cards. And there's one, like, really famous set where it's, like, you collect, like, greatest battles ever. Or, like, you know, each character, each individual character. And then there's one set where it's, like, the X-Men. go to the beach. Oh, dude, the X-Men went to the beach a lot. Dude, when you're

working that kind of job, you need to go on vacation. And it is just, like, this swimsuit issue. And it's Wolverine with three hot dogs. Which is great. On those claws. I feel like I've seen that somewhere. Siloak doing God knows what. Just stretching. Yeah, just

stretching around. Bro, you see that one card they had where it was like the end of the night and everybody had a bonfire on the beach and then it was like storming Cyclops were at the end of the beach away from the bonfire and she was fucking sucking his dick. Bro, I saw that. It happened. I'll bring the

cart in tomorrow. Derek Hopper told me. John Stark's backed it up. So this dude's dead. This dude's dead. Both Victor and Jimmy leave. And this is the beginning of our movie. And did you guys notice the switch from

I don't know how you guys were watching? I was watching on HBO. They totally have the aspect ratio changed. So like the first scene of this movie was IMAX. Oh, okay. And it's just like a nothing scene and the only action is like that quick stabbing. But then when this like action montage happens, it totally goes into letterbox like cinemascope. Right when your A-list actors show up. Yeah. I was like, why did you bother with the camera for that? It looks like garbage. And this montage is howl. Why did two Canadians

fight the American Civil War? When they're just looking for a good fight? I mean, I guess. That's kind of the thing is that they just want to fight in some wars. Yeah. Well, I mean, when did in the comics, when does Wolverine become American? I think he just crosses the border a couple times. He has some adventures of Captain America back in the day.

Oh, nice. In WW2? Yeah, and the big one. Yeah. He's in there with him. But it's like the Civil War. Yes. And that's like kind of brief.

And then we get a lot of World War I for this montage. I was very happy to see that we'll, fought for the union side. He didn't go around to Canada to fight for the Confederacy. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, there's blue coats all over. Thanks, thank the Lord.

That's what you're praying for. Yeah, you're right. There's a lot of the Great War. A lot of the Great War, because it's a lot of like, we can have them running around the trenches murdering people, and that's all what Sabretooth is doing.

I think this is when we get our first back to back. Oh, man. The ass-to-ass of comic book movies. Jesus Christ is it stupid. and then we go to WW2 and of course that's got to be Normandy and they're right there on the boat

which you wanted a lot of those boys to be regenerating mutants for that one. How did no one notice like oh dude you know that guy that I saw him get shot in the head five times and he used bone claws to cut off fucking Rommel's head but you know he's just a regular guy now

just a guy you know what he's just a patriot man it doesn't matter I don't know how it takes until NOM for someone to wise up to these dudes here's my question though did they just skip Korea? They sat it out. Yeah, they sat that one out. They were like, you know what? This is officially just a conflict.

Nobody has officially declared war. We're staying out of this one. They should have shown them fighting for Korea. Oh, man, that would have been great. They could have single-handedly tip to scales a little bit. Or it's like they're getting their picture taken in front of the DMZ. Yeah, the reason why there's North Korea today is because of Wolverine. Said so.

Right. And then so we go right to. NAM. And you know what? Thank goodness. There's this like average orchestration going over anything, everything. Because you'd be getting some CCR otherwise. Guaranteed, dude. Guaranteed. And it's like, so this is where like the story kind of like stops in our little montage here. So we don't see that. It's a credits montage. Yeah, we don't go all the way up to the Gulf, unfortunately. We don't get that far. We stop at NAM. And it's like, hang it out. Yeah, I guess just hanging out. They're like, oh, was this finished? Okay.

It's like Jarhead, but it's just Wolverine. That movie's boring as sin. My God. It's not very good. So, yeah, we stop in NAM. They're on a helicopter. Sabretooth is having a lot of fun with a machine. Too much fun.

Too much fun. This is just Animal Mother from Full Metal Jack. Yeah, absolutely. He's just like shooting civilians this entire time. You think Adam Baldwin saw this movie? He was like, yeah, I already did that. Hey, hey, movies, it's been done. Adam Baldwin did it.

Internet toilet, Adam Baldwin. Mr. Balden, we will throw you out of this movie theater again. You're ruining it for everyone. This is the fifth time you've come to see X-Men Origins, Wolverine. If he played Sabretooth, he would have fought for the Confederacy. It's all about heritage, God damn it. That would have been cool if Wolverine

was on the Union and Sabretoose is a Confederacy. Sure, because it doesn't make, it's like so basic. Like, the idea is that like Sabretooth just likes to kill and he starts just smirking a lot when he's killing and you're like, A taste for it, dude? Let's do X-Men, but set like a hateful eight.

Sabre dude's like a Confederate general in this little cabin in the woods there as trading post. And then Hugh Jackman shows up. Bishop is the Samuel L. Jackson role. That would be bad ass. He's from the future. He knows what happens. Or maybe like the letter he wrote is from a president in the future. Oh, shit, dude, Reagan letter.

He's got a letter. all right bishop now go back in time normally I wouldn't trust one of you to do this if you know what I mean I love your feet freaking awesome so then it's like we're on the ground we're like fucking pillaging a village and wouldn't you know it Sabretooth starts getting

a little rapy yeah it's implied it's very implied rape of course it is he's carrying a Vietnamese woman into a little hide and he throws her onto a bed Yeah, and then he decapitates Michael J. Fox, who's against it. See, they only get in trouble here because they, like, they eventually just turn against American soldiers here who are about to torch this village problem. They act like that's the problem. Right?

It's like, he's about to. We all see the rape. Yeah. And we're like, oh, that's the. And the real thing is like, he's turning on its troops. Yeah. It's like. Priorities, Fox Entertainment.

That always support the troops, no matter, no matter what they do. You gotta. So Wolverine's like, that's enough, dude. That is totally enough. Yep. And then it's like... They get sentenced to execute it. Oh, and this is great, dude.

A good old fashioned execution, like, at the stake. Didn't think we were doing that in Vietnam. But I mean, like, here's the thing. The characters can regenerate. Let's see him get tore up by these bullets for a little bit. Now with that PG-13 rating. I guess so. But like, even if he comes back from...

it that's still like I would think you're correct Steve it's just a lot of like we're dipping our toe into because I think the thing about so like X-Men Origins and then the Wolverine and then Logan we get progressively violent like as they go on yes so I think this one was like all right how much can we get away with kind of like without losing the audience like because this movie aside from being bad like is absent a lot of a lot of like the blood and guts yes but also like the playfulish kind of screenplay from those first three movies

not as many jokes from Wolverine and whatnot so I think it's like we're kind of like all right like how dark can we make this and the first thing is like we'll make it violent

but it's all like implied violence which you know which I mean I guess it's because of like his scale I don't know but like for whatever reason we see like holes in people throughout the film

but blood just never emerges from those holes like we see skull but there's just no blood in people's fine It's shot in the head twice at the end of this movie, and there's nothing. Yeah, well, that happens in the first X2, and he gets shot in the head and the bullet pops out, kind of a thing. But he, like, stabs into, I mean, this is, spoilering things, but he stabs into people and pulls out a clean blade, which means that, like, whoever he's stabbing has been baking for log enough and it's done.

Or maybe it's like, you know, there's, like, Teflon on those blades, and all, it just all slides right off, keeping them puppies nice and clean at all time. Well, yeah, if you're paying for the adamantium, you want to pay for the extra coding. It's a little more expensive. Yeah, yeah, you know, but it's like the dealer, you know, he's going to get you like a nice sweet discount kind of thing. People say the coating's not real. Let me tell you, it's real. It's beautiful. Look at the sheet on that.

I talked to John Starks. He said it's real. So they're in the brig after, I guess, like, maybe three days of being shot by bullets. I'm going to guess. Well, these didn't work. Well, I think they all, the thing is, like, they all ran out of ammo. It's like, there's no more bullets on this base. What about some grenades?

Like, I would have got creative. Like, this guy's sentenced to death. Oh, yeah, definitely grenades for sure. I just love that, like, you know, a guillotine, it's right there. Yeah. It's right there. I mean, like, it's around, you know. It's just off screen.

We were using guillotines in Revolutionary France. Like, we could find one. The technology exists. Even if they would have, like, come back together, you just take the head. You run it real far away. Yep. And you have somebody watch it. You take the body, put it real far away.

You have a bunch of little, like, village kids play soccer with it. Yeah. How about just do a montage of all these different murder attempts? Like, give me these troops in a Jeep running them over and stuff. Yeah. Do everything. Try it all. Like a fun one.

Like a fun montage. And they're just like, hmm. You know, every time it's like, all right, let's try it. I've got an idea. They're like tied to railroad tracks and like a train rolls them over. Sure. Two helicopters flying. in opposite direction. Oh, that's right. They go

film a scene on the Twilight Zone movie. Some napalm is used maybe. Where was the napalm? It's right there. Oh, man, if Wolverine was just like a skeleton with bone claws, just give me a skeleton with bone claws. Then I will accept bone claws.

Like a skeleton running around to Vietnam? That'd be pretty cool. That's a comic book. There is an excellent writer in NOM. An excellent Wolverine comic from the later 2000s of Wolverine in a concentration camp. Really?

How did he find himself there? I think he was like hanging around with some Romani or something is the idea. Oh, that fits. And then like this Wait, wait, wait, where? Did he go AWOL from service in World War II? So, I think that's part of it, but like the whole thing, the whole story is like him driving

this SS dude mad because he keeps sentencing him to death and then he sees him later in the camp, like they bury him and he's around. Oh, that's kind of cool. That's great. And so would Sabretooth being with the Nazis, on the other side of every war?

And you realize, like, yeah, they fought in every war, but really it was just like this sibling rivalry thing where like a moralistic thing. And like it would have been interesting. They started all the wars. They're just playing games. Oh, you mean it like Sabretooth assassinated Archduke friends for a man? Yes, that's a seat I want.

And it's like, here we go again. Sabretooth, like, riding in a little Japanese bomber over Pearl Harbor. I'm going to get the Americans involved now. Hey, you know, Sabretoots is now, like, getting some beers and stuff. He's like, hey, Hitler, you know what this beer hall needs is a speech. That can be about anything. Whatever your heart desires, just yell on this table. Also, I guess, like, because you're right, because that should be the case,

because now I think as far as the movie's telling me, this lifelong rivalry is set off by Wolverine stopping him from raping somebody. Yeah, exactly. They're best buds up until that point, it seems. They're back to back until that. And then when did we all decide that we wanted Danny Houston to be in movies?

Because I feel like I should have got a vote and I would have said no. It was the constant gardener? It was so, or was the... He's in that movie, he's in that movie, birth, which I think he's actually good in. It's just like these,

like he's doing some mustache twirling where like, I don't need this to be. The Australian Guy Pearce movie, which is called... The proposition? The proposition, yes. He's like the big animalistic brother.

And he's good in that. He looks like a great actor. Yes, exactly. You know what I mean? You see him and you're like, oh, yeah. And then you're like, oh. He's not bad. He's just like, oh, it's day to Houston.

Well, he's like, you know, he's third build in the Houston Hollywood dynasty. I mean, that's a tough order. Right. It's like Stephen Baldwin or something. But not quite Daniel Baldwin. And certainly not Adam Baldwin. I think Danny Houston plays the same character

in Wonder Woman. You're like, oh, right, it's Danny Houston again. And that's another good example of him farting through a comic book movie. Okay, sure, Danny Houston. Like, he doesn't do anything. Yeah. No. Brian Cox wanted to be this character again. Just give him a jet black fucking wig, dude. Give him a Brian Cox a beetle wig.

I'm fine with it. Shaggy Bobbuck. Like what you got to do, I think, though, is like, CGI out some of that chin. Sure, reduce the chin. Because you could just like, yeah, dye his hair black, put it back, get some of that digitally removed chin. And then he just looks like Hannibal Lecter and Manhunter again.

Yeah. Because he was like kind of olderish looking in that movie too. Like not as old as Anthony Hopkins is in silence and so on. But like, yeah. I'd buy it. There's nothing as good as there's no answers for you that way, Wolverine. Exactly. In this movie, which is what you want.

Because it's certainly not coming out of Danny Houston. Oh, I guess we should mention he's playing Colonel Stryker. The same character, yeah. It walks in and he's like, I got a deal for you guys. You guys want to fight for your country? They've just murdered commanding officers. You guys want out of this prison? Well, because he knows that these dudes will do anything.

They'll do whatever it takes. because part of his sales pitch is like no oversight, no rules and he's like smiling the whole time because he's like I know these weird fuckers are going to love this I'm so excited to the genocide and the next thing we know they're part of what's called Team X sort of kind of

do they actually say Team X in this? Maybe not. They don't but it's just like Strikers, they're part of Stryker's boys right all the Stryker boys and that's a real thing in the comics like there's a group of like and it's pretty close to this team where it's Wolverine

Sabretooth, this dude named Maverick who here is named Agent Zero. Which Agent Zero has also been like Agent Zero at some point. Yes, yeah. It's not just like a made-up thing. So X-Men is Charles Xavier. X-Team is William Stryker.

Yeah. And X-Force is Deadpool? It's a Cable's team. Okay. Which Deadpool is part of later. Yeah, later on. This is very confusing. Why is everyone using X? It's the ex-gene, Eric.

That's what's inside of mutants. Yeah, it just so happens. Charles Xavier's name is Xavier, and he's got the ex-Gene. Right. Which is kind of like I'm a big fan of Arsenal, and for a long time, their coach was named Arson Vanger. I mean, that just happened. It actually just happened. Sometimes that just happened.

So, but they're just a wet works, black ops kind of team, and they're taken down some, like, African drug dealer, it seems like. I believe these are blood diamonds. Oh, these are blood diamonds. Gotcha. So, yeah, Wade Wilson is a part of this. This is Ryan Reynolds first playing technically Deadpool, but not really. They should rescue that diamond girl in this or something. Oh, yeah.

She is a blood diamond. They're trying to cut her fingers off like the whole time. Oh, yeah, that would be great. Piece by piece. That would be pretty great. Now, Steve, Sean and I were talking about this off the air. Is that the character that January Jones plays? That should be, that is Emma Frost, but then they sort of reconded it out because it didn't make any sense.

Right. Well, a lot of this movie doesn't. make much sense. Also on this team, you can tell this movie came out in 2009 because Dominic Monaghan is in a feature film. It was so surprising to me. A full, a full grown, full length. I wouldn't use any digital

size thing. This is like post-L-O-T-R, but like this is like Prime Lost era, so he was like very big. He should have played Wolverine. He's like a little dude. He's totally short enough. Do you just get her like bulk out a little bit? I can totally see that. perfect actor for Wolverine is

a young taxi Danny DeVito Oh yeah That's actually who he should be Hey Rieger, look at my bone claws Wait wait no no no no Danny DeVito as Sabreto And then is his baby Wolverine

Jason Alexander Yes Because you know it's father and son And then Christopher Lloyd is sabertooth Oh my God That would be fucking great It's all Preventing me from Evan

fun and nom. Oh, man. Oh, also on this team, Will I Am for some of this? Oh, boy, that was a mistake. That was such a mistake. Like, it's a movie. Don't put him in the movie.

Don't put him in the movie. You know what? He wants to do, like, a song for Wolverine? No, no, no. Not so fast. So who's, like, what are the worst, like, the worst X-Men casting are like Vinnie Jones that's a juggernaut?

Yep. or will I am as whatever that character is. John Wraith. John Wraith, it's basically he's just like black night crawler. With a nice hat with a fun hat. Well, I looked up his picture on Wikipedia and the comic drawing that they have, which like the resolution isn't that great. But like he totally just looks like macho man Randy Savage.

Like he's got the hat. He's got the sunglasses. It's all there. Matureman Randy Savage was a really big fan of John Raid. That might be true. oh yeah he's unknown but i love him i got a tattoo of him that's the thing dude i find this fascinating because like i i dabble in x-man i watch most of my knowledge comes from that fox cartoon and these movies but i love anybody who's like my favorite x-men character is

blow and it's just like somebody you've never fucking heard of and it's like that person's taking it to the limit it's like oh yeah i love john wraith here's my john wraith tattoo you. I have all these, like, issues of an arc of his. There was a guy in White Plains. There was a dingy White Plains comic book story. A city just north of New York City. I know exactly the place you're talking about. You know who I'm about to talk about, don't you?

No, I don't. The comic book seller called himself Bishop, and he was just kind of a... Oh, right? I haven't thought about Bishop in years. I know the exact comic book show. He was just kind of a fat black guy with, like, dreads, and he was just like, yeah, my name's Bishop. Everybody called him Bishop. It's his name. And you'd be in that comic

book store and dudes are walking... Are you from the future? You'd be like, hey Bishop is the magic tournament happening? And he'd just be like, in the back guys. It was awesome. Just naming yourself after an obscure X-Men. Yeah, dude. Live that life. Like that's the next step is living that life. Right. This should have happened with Star Wars fans. Like, why couldn't... I should have changed my name to

IG88 B. You know, his brother. Oh, B for brother? No, no. There's IG8A, B, and I think my G8M for his mother. Your mother's also IGA.M. And they stop fighting.

This is two robots hugging. So, they go on this mission. We do see Deadpool, who is, I mean, it's Ryan Reynolds. It's like, it's a bad screenplay. At this point, They're just calling him Wade Wilson. Yes.

But he's still kind of like the character. I had forgotten that he was actually the Deadpool character. I mean, it's the same thing. I thought they just didn't bother writing him. That was my recollection too, but it's... No, he's wisecracking and having fun. And Deadpool, of course, is like the character who, like, is everybody's favorite character. Yes, yeah.

Irritating. My favorite character was Gambit, which we'll get to that later, because that's... This movie takes a large shit on my face. Oh, totally. How have they not made a Gambit movie? Lord knows they've been trying. That's all anyone, and then I remember,

I was not a comic book guy in the 90s, but I remember distinctly, Wolverine Gambiter, fuck off. That was the list. That is a T-shirt that was weird. He's the peppy Lepewieu of the X universe. Once I get married,

finally, and then I know that I don't have to ever worry about that again, Wolverine Gambit or fuck off is a T-shirt. I'm surprised that's not a T-shirt. Also, those rules applied for that X-Men arcade game.

Yeah. Because they were the most fun to play as. Gamma wasn't in that X-Bohrower. Oh, he wasn't. It was Wolverine Colossus. I think I had, you know what it is? It wasn't the arcade game. I think I had some...

The fighting game? You had a fighting game. Oh, no, the Super Nintendo game. No, there was a GameCube game. Oh, GameCube. Where you kind of... It was one of those, like, you were operating like multiple X-Men at a time, like walking...

Oh, X-Men Destiny. I don't remember what it was called. But I think on that, it was a lot of fun. I thought maybe it was like a bear... Like the Berenstein, Berenstein, Bear universe. Oh, in some universes, Gambit was in the arcade tower? Oh, yeah. Who was it?

So, sorry, not, but it was Dazzler, Nightcrawler, Colossus, Cyclops, Cyclops, and Storm. And Storm. Yes. And Wolverine. And Wolverine. And Wolverine. So. Dazzler, by the way.

Jesus Christ. Long story short, Wade Wilson is, and, like, the problem also is, like, they do a decent job of sort of setting up people's powers, but not really. like you don't know what Wade Wilson's powers are like he just uses his swords really fast and stupidly but so because in this movie they like ruin all that by making him weapon 11 and whatnot but like so like what

what is like the comic translation of what his powers are just just healing it's just healing just healing factor okay so it's nothing about like reflexes which is why he can do all that sword shit no no he's just good at well trained whatever he's good at sordery yeah but isn't every X-Men's like

don't they all have like healing power Like, what is, it's like some people have healing powers and laser eyes. Yeah, you can get a little bit of both. It just seems, it just seems crazy to me. They're like, all these characters is like, yeah, I can heal. Well, what can you do, uh, dead, well, I can heal? Well, that, it was Wolverine first and then everybody else kind of stole it. There's not a lot of it, though, is there?

No, there's Wolverine Sabretooth. There's way more telekinesis than there's. Yeah, a lot of telekinesis. Oh, big time. Or you can let your power, because that's like Dominic Monaghan's character. He, like, manipulates electricity and shit or something. I guess with his mind. Agent Zero just kind of does a bunch of X-Men jumps, though.

Like it's like, it's like, yeah, marksmanship plus jumping. But if you could shoot that guy in the head, is that that? What do you mean, the guy with the healing power? No, a guy with not healing power. Oh, yeah, no, he should be dead. He should be dead. He should be dead. Okay. He does die in the movie.

Yeah, but no one dies in comic books, right? That's true. They introduce these characters so quickly. Yeah. Before, I mean, this is before we get to Vietnam, but like, and it's like, it's insane, or sorry, before we get to Nigeria. Yeah. But like they introduce something, we're just on the plane. It's not like, we're part of the new team.

Who are these guys? It's like, we've known each other for years and we're making inside jokes. And I'm like, whoa movie. Everybody's tired of each other already. I don't even meet these guys yet. There's the guy that's going to be blob is also there. Fred Dukes, man. Fred Dukes, who.

Kevin Durand. Yeah, another lost cast. away making his way in this movie and so he's just kind of like indestructible yeah I think it's the blob's power is he isn't destructible that's why he puts his arm in that thing

in the cannon right right right right that's kind of a cool thing sure he'll live forever like the world will end and he'll be sitting outside the gates of heaven no dude that guy's contracting adult onset diabetes but he's indestructible

but he'll die and then his body will just be indestructible right he won't soul will be gone. That's pretty cool. Like, let's say the Earth ends, everything ends, and then it's just the blob floating through the universe. That's it. That's probably some

obscure fucking Marvel space comic, dude, galactic soul. Or the blob's galactic soul? Tweet me that issue. So, yeah, I mean, like, this goes on. We find out that Stryker is after a rock that contains Adamantium. He orders the tribe to be

killed or like the whole gang or whatever we want to The village is going to be burned down and everyone's going to get murdered. Sam, but he's just super excited about that. Wolverine says no. And then that's kind of how the group breaks up. Everyone's allowed to leave this fucking Black Ops group. He leaves the band first.

He's like, I'm out of the band. And then as he's walking away, you see on the face of everybody else like, well, if Justin Timberlake leaves this band, man, and sick it's no more. Yeah. Like, yeah, just go, Timberlake. We don't need you.

We'll do this on our own. Yeah, yeah. Good luck. the solo album, fuck face. Do you think they auditioned other people in Insync? They must have, right? They would have been like, we're in trouble here. They were desperately trying to do something.

For Insync or the X team? A little bit of both. I think that team was like fine, but then it's weird that because like the movie kind of insinuates that Wolverine's exit is what broke up the band. It is. Because the next thing we know, a non-discriminate amount of time passes again.

So we're in Vietnam, a non-discriminate amount of time passes. We're in this Team X thing. A non-discriminate amount of time passes again. At some point, we are told six years later. When does that come in? I think at this point. What's the point of saying six years later if no one knows where you are?

Exactly. But I think so this is, we cut to six years later and now this is where Sabretooth is going around murdering everybody from the team for some reason. Which would be a cool movie. If that is the movie, that's the shape of the movie, that's five. Yeah, give me a photo, like an academy photo of X team

and everyone's being scratched off of it. A weird reverse kill bill. yes yeah I mean like to do that you just do a lot more Team X at the beginning and just one by one

everyone kind of dies yeah because then like you could theoretically have like stakes in this movie characters characters you care about

then at the end Sabretooth becomes the sole inheritor of the hellfish bonanza oh you get the taunting oh man that dude yeah

a fucking mutant lead tauntine that would be pretty cool so he meets Dominic Monaghan who's like running a Or is just a circus freak, you know, which is, it's good work if you can get it.

It is, and it's also great because... He's got a great little pad here, this little, this little shack he's living in. It's a sick buck shack, dude. It's not bad, but also it's kind of weird, because on the one hand, it's hip, but on the other hand, it's just filled with kids' toys. Yeah. And he's, like, walking around, like, powering them all with his mind, and you're like, man, how many fucking twist-up monkeys do you need?

It's kind of weird. It's like a little boys' room. He's also like doing this weird thing of like playing with like turning on the lights turning off the lights all the time but it's like first of all that's his day job and it goes home and like it's kind of like did we stop and think

because this movie's filled with like your first idea like yeah let's run with it and it's always like well would you really be that fascinated with being able to turn on a fucking light bulb and do that all day and all night for the rest of eternity? Exactly like I mean I guess it's the definition

of like do what you love but like what a bad career I just always love light bulbs. Man, I just wanted to being around life bulbs, turning them on, turning them off, breaking the light, putting it away. It's kind of great

because, like, his gag at the... Hey, if you turn on air I can turn on air conditions. But I prefer light bulbs. Yes, it's technically all electricity, but light bulbs are the most fun. Wouldn't you agree, Pippen? Or was he Pippin? I think he might have been Pippin. It might have been

Mary. Oh, Mary. Yeah. Yeah. So he's just doing it to, like, get a dollar off some guy passing by trying to do a carnival game? Yeah. Well, I think there could be a better, I don't know how you'd make it more profitable, but there's got to be something better you could do. Go to a fucking casino and, like, rig the machine or something, right? You're the master of electricity or something. Yeah, that's depressed.

Oh, yeah. It's just, oh, you're just me and me light bulbs. So Sabretooth murders him. and it's actually the funniest part of this movie a total accidentally hilarious thing they do like a I don't know I don't think it's necessarily a newspaper like spinning in a circle but like someone sees a newspaper

and it's a picture of him and it just says circus freak murdered my obituary one day it's just like man how about you know local carnival employee and also like why is that front page news that happens all the time circus freaks get murdered That's part of the job And they all know it

They all know it Every one of those circus freaks It's presumed a suspicious death He was depressed He just got into a line of work That would eventually lead to his death And then he turned off his own light bulb Now Eric were you

We could talk about Sabreto a little bit here Were you as Because this is your hobby horse Is blonde comic book characters Robbed of their beautiful blonde hair This is also another one Sabretooth Sabreto is blonde

Yeah I had no idea He's a famous blonde. Wow. It's what they kind of get right about the character in that first X-Men where he's played by a professional wrestler, nobody remembers.

And he's dressed up like the lead singer of Metallica. He kind of looks like James Headfield. Absolutely. But yeah, no, that's a disgrace, man. He had, like, a real, like, arena rock look to him. Like, he just had, like, a mane of wild blonde hair. Because they were like, oh, it's cool because, like, and, like, that's kind of something that you miss

in this portrayal. It's just Lev Schreiber, who's kind of the same. size or even probably shorter than you jackman which is not really right you know uh sean do you want to talk about the costuming mishap for this movie it turns out that it wasn't as bad as i thought but apparently initially when he got the role uh they put leave striver in a in a muscle suit like uh similar to i guess viny jones also got put in that same muscle suit in and way he played the juggernaut and he's like in that suit and he's looking at like the perfection of of physique and man

that is Hugh Jackman and he's like you know I can do this can I just get a couple of months to work out and so like Hugh Jackman starts like working him out and they're like they're doing buddies they've become best buds back to back

back to best buds yeah I mean that's unfortunate like you know man do you think the reason why Leveshriver wasn't into it was because the suit still smelled like Vinny Jones oh that could be come on you got you got the suit here. It smells like Vinny Jones.

Guys. You want me to perform? Smell and like Snatch? I know I'm referring to Vinny Jones. Star of Snatch, Vinny Jones. It smells like Boddington's. Moving right along. Wolverine is now doing that thing that everyone does in these X-Men movies, which is get a nice, cool maintenance

job in some way, shape, or form. See Magneto in X-Men Apocalypse. Well, that's how you go into hiding, man, because it's just like you get that job and you can kind of fly under the radar. Nobody's asking questions. As long as you're working hard, you only take your single hour for lunch. You don't fuck with anybody. Nobody gives a shit. You're just a good worker.

And he's dating somebody named Kayla Silver Fox, also another comic book character. Has some sort of different name that I can't recall. I think her name is just Silver Fox. That's her comic name. And they made her Kayla. Oh, I see. Suffed it up. She's also way more

stereotypically Native American in the comic book. So that's dialed. back just a tad she tells him some legend about the moon and the trickster god and something something the wolverine and he's like hey interesting hey wolverine that name sounds sharp it's one of those things like i don't need to know why he calls himself the wolverine right and it's also one of those like stories where you're like oh this is going to be what no i like you just get lost in it so you don't remember why it was relevant yes exactly and for a movie that's only an hour and 47 minutes there is so much shit

that you will just forget you will just flat out like that whole thing where he's like yeah Wolverine that'll do and I'm like what why

oh yeah because of that story from 45 minutes ago and the second you see this woman there is a clock over her head from when she's about

to be murdered it's just like because every scene is like a slow motion like final kiss yeah he goes to work and she's like

hold on one more kiss and then he like goes you know off in the truck to like rid Canada of all of its Woods.

It's a noble profession. I'm going to defore us this whole fucking country. It's even worse than that, though, because her first appearance in the movie is like Wolverine wakes up from a Wolverine-esque nightmare, which happens quite often. Sure, you're going to get the... Oh, this is my favorite line in the whole movie. I don't know if I remember the line, but I'm just going to say that she's nude, which implies there was some hot fucking the night before.

Sure. Yeah. Well, no, he wakes up and goes, bra! And he's got his bone claws out. And she's like, honey, did you dream about the wars again? Which war did you have a nightmare about it? He goes, all of them. It's not possible.

It makes sense. Except for Korea. Which I skipped. Who set that with out? The bone claws in this scene, you can call them boners. Yes. Well, she says, I guess we're going to need new sheets again. Yeah, but it was, that's the thing, though.

It wasn't from tearing from the previous nightmares. It was just from all the semen and what. Yeah. They keep ruining sheets. Looked like a fucking cheap Vegas motel. I had a bunch of crazy sex with my girlfriend from Canada. You would not know her. Oh, man.

No, you wouldn't know her. Sorry, she couldn't come with me. She had to work this weekend. Her boss is a real dick. She lives in an obscure part of the Canadian Rockies. Her name, her name, her name is Kayla Silver Fox. Yeah, that'll do. I got to tell you, this Wolverhammed.

green pad that he's got Primo, man. That's it, man. Just living on a cliff, like Wiley Coyote. I want to leave. I want to leave society so bad. This movie made me want to just fucking leave it all behind. Why? Like, why are we even doing this? I mean, I don't want

my wife to be brutally murdered in the forest, but that happens less than you think. That's happened less than is reported. I will say that. 50-50 shot. But that house is pretty great. It's great. Great house. So Stryker approaches him at work

Which also like it's the law and order thing Like dude wait till I get off I punch it out an hour He's chomping on a cigar And Zero shoots the cigar out of his mouth All of his boys are around And nobody responds to it Dude I wanted to see some lumberjack

Just drop dead Oh no It would be great if all these lumberjacks Were in defense of Wolverine And they all attacked them with axes What a great scene that would be 10 lumberjacks Against Agent Zero What would we call them X loggers

You got to put X in front of any team. Dude, that's when the fucking... The Axemen. With a big X. That's really good. Very big X. I was going to say X-Loggers is when Hank McCoy ruins the bathroom at Xavier Mansion.

But that's okay because he's also able to eat his lunch today. Oh, I broke another toilet in the mansion. Great. Somebody clean my litter box, please. I'm always... are the secretary of defense or whatever the fuck. So he, and then, right,

so Wolverine winds up, am I right that he's wandering through the woods and he realizes like, oh no, like, Kayla's in trouble? Yes. Oh, and then he like, parts, is it him that parts a little bit of shrubbery to reveal a severed Wolverine head?

At which point you're kind of like, do you remember what I'm talking about there? Like a severed was it a Wolverine? It's some like dead animal. Oh, I didn't know. I think it's supposed to be a wolverine, which I thought was like a terrible choice because nobody knows what a Wolverine actually looks like. I just thought it was a deer.

It was like a, it's so confusing. He should have like put it on and then like ran through the woods. Then it's like your Davy Crockett idea. So this Fast forwarding, this woman's dead. Sabretooth has murdered her. But let's let's even fast forward to the end.

She's not actually dead. Wolverine has animal senses. Can smell fucking anyone farting a mile away. Right. And they give her some like some compound that makes her heart sort of seem like at stopping.

Oh God, I hate this shit. And they put a bunch of fake blood on her. But like, and he's like, he lends away and goes for vengeance. But he doesn't arrange her burial, I guess. No time. No time. Let her rot.

Let her rot. He's like, he's on the side of the road, I guess. Also, Wolverine is like an animal. He eats garbage. We've established that. He would have tasted that blood. Yes. Right, dude, it's a circle of life.

You would have been like, that's fruit punch, not blood. Looked for wounds or something. I just love the notion. Like, this woman is in on it with, with, with, with, with, with, with, with, with, with, with, with, with, with striker and whatnot. I love the idea that it's either this woman or saber tooth. Someone is carrying fake blood. I think, no, they show saber between, it's kind of squirder with blood. He literally just breaks the bag open over.

The Capri's son bag. He just goes, psh, oh. man, the theatricality from Sabreto, I love it. Oh, no, God damn it, this is orange juice. I picked the wrong packet. But part of a pre-up has to be like, look, if I am brutally murdered, you can seek out vengeance. In fact,

I encourage him, but please bury me and tell my family that I'm dead. Like, don't just run off. Also, make sure that you're dead. Yeah, exactly. Like, like, stab the body. Get a doctor. Call an ambulance. Dude, this, by the way, not for nothing.

Don't go, ah! And run away. You got to scream like a monster. Yeah, sure, sure. But how do you know if he loves her? That's a good point. But, oh, I totally forgot. Well, I guess this is a thing where it's like he doesn't want any ties to anything.

So it's like, see you later. Kind of a deal. Does he like use his back, like the back of his feet to throw dirt on her, I guess? At least? Well, he takes a shit in the woods. He's trying to bury it with his feet. He screams dirt all over. So this woman, who's not dead, was shot upon and then a dirt thrown all over her face.

Precisely. So, yeah, he goes out. He's looking for blood. He finds Sabretooth in a bar. We get the big Sabretooth fight. I kind of like Lev Schreiber as Sabretooth a little bit. I do, too. I will say.

And I also like the weird, like, him on all fours. See, I do, too. Sean Dutt doesn't like it. Well, you know, I don't, I like it conceptually. I don't like it in practice. Okay. And I also, it's because so many times before this, and I think we just move past that, like, helicopter scene.

So in that moment as well, there's so many moments where people are just like Mario jumping everywhere. Yeah, that's true. This movie does not, gravity does not exist in this movie. Not at all. And so, like, his running is, like, cool sometimes, but a lot of times it's just him pretending to run

and just, like, being brought over, like, a fucking game claw across the hallway. It's like, he, it doesn't make. makes sense. That is a problem because again that's not what their power is. Their power isn't to Mario jump so no one should be able to do that. And everybody's just jumping into a helicopter like, bring that helicopter by here

they just jump 20 feet in the air. If they were like jumping up into random blocks of bricks and shit and the coins came out, better movie. Yeah. And then so much other stuff's happening. That I'm distracted. So they get to a fight a bunch of logs full in Wolverine and obviously he survives

but he loses to Sabretooth. A, And, like, Stryker finds him. I want to see, again, like, a puddle of Wolverine reconstitute itself. If a fucking 30-ton log falls on you, you're not just like, oh, that sucks. Totally. But the difference is when a bunch of clearly fake prop logs fall. Because, again, Jesus Christ, this is like a 20th century Fox major motion picture. Drop a real log on Hugh Jackman.

Or just bothered to make these things not shine like the plastic they are. It looks so bad. I gotta say a lot of shit looks so bad. I think the fucking adamantium claws look terrible. It's terrible, big time. There are like 90% CGI in this movie. How do they get so bad? I gotta go back and watch that first movie.

They don't look as bad earlier because a lot of times they're actually like, they're real. Oh man, that's real. Because he's wearing gloves for most of that movie. And like in the gloves, you can just have like knives on there. And that's it.

You know, that's what you want. They look so bad. It's so, they're like sort of like, They look like cool blue colored almost. They're very, it's a 90s screen saver. I thought a fucking flying toaster was going to go by it. It looks like Bob Hoskins in Roger Apple

when he gets the singing sword. Oh, yeah, it doesn't like the singing sword. Or Christopher Lloyd with the fucking buzzsaw. It looks like those. Those are, that's what we're talking about. Oh, man, it's so bad. Also, just a great detail about this. We're so not getting through this movie.

but man oh man you know what's kind of appealing to me this like totally off the book's Canadian bar that's definitely just in a barn love it well it's just like hey Barry you're gonna make your barn a bar tonight yep yeah dude the stools are just logs it's awesome and like it's kind of great because like Sabreto is sitting at the bar having a beer and like he can smell Wolverine or whatever and he says the bartender like do you have insurance and the guy's like no and then he's like that's unfortunate or whatever it's like of course there's no insurance it's a

bar bar there's also a fucking you know the cliche line y'all ain't from around here are you why does a Canadian have an American southern drawl? I also want the deleted scene where Sabretoots is reading Alan Moore's Watchman while he's putting the smiley face on the bar

also yeah that dude doesn't complain about that bar vandalism because that bar is just going to be a different bar to that's true it's gonna be set up down a Hugo's barn well also he's got like monster claws

so you're like yeah yeah don't call out a dude with monster claws that's a pretty good life hack I just feel like if I saw this

version of Sarah oh shit is that a vampire yeah yeah like a vampire that fucking bench presses he also like

his claws are different in every scene like sometimes they're dirty sometimes they're super clean looking sometimes they're growing sometimes whatever

and then like the way he attacks people is it's just like it's just as like it's a cat scratch just a gentle swipe like people like go flying but he's just kind of like

yeah and also shouldn't you have a tooth right isn't a saber tooth no just one tooth he's got little oh I see yeah but saber teeth I guess he had the long tusks

doesn't the guy wasn't the saber tooth in the earlier films yeah was that guy had like tusks right no he just kind of vampire teeth he's got vampire teeth which Liam Shriver has

in this movie not enough no yeah you're totally right Make a bigger. Yeah, no, they should be Draculia length.

Yeah, or like Nasferat, too. Oh shit, really? Like just the front dude?

Yeah. It's a little buck teeth. That'd be awesome. Oh, Wolverine, I see you've come here. Does this bar have insurance? Too bad.

So Danny Houston's like, Hey, man, how about we pump some Adamantam into that hot ass bod. to move things along just stretch and he's like

yeah great idea I think the only way you're going to beat Sabretooth and to avenge your girlfriend whose murder I had nothing to do with by the way I know you saw me the same day of and it's weird

that we haven't seen each other in a long time but there's this whole thing like why would you even make Wolverine doesn't like you why would you make him even better and then there's this line when they're like

they finally put the adamantium into his body yeah and they're just like erase his memory like he's C-3PO. Well, I don't understand the whole weird logic of this plan.

It's like, all right, I'm going to orchestrate the murder of his girlfriend to get him on board with the Atomantium program to then only erase his memory or try to murder him and then just like use the test results to make other weapon people.

Yeah, it's just a very expensive at some point in the movie, some general is like, you spend a half a billion dollars on this. I'm like, holy shit. Shit, half a be it. Like 1980s. Yeah, exactly. We give the military too much money in the United States.

Absolutely true. It needs to cut it in half. Yeah, I mean, think about how many Wolverine experiments are going on right now that we don't know about. There's got, honestly, there are countless. Like, we may be joking around here today, but this is actually happening. You know, we're having a lot of fun here tonight. There's so much money in the military budget. You know they're doing weird shit.

There has to be at least 10 weapon X. Exactly. I mean, just like super soldiers. Robocops and shit. Robocops. A lot of robocops too. A lot of like stealth fighters, nobody needs. I'll have no frosty to you.

A bunch of generals in the room. Did you guys see Avengers? Did you guys see X-Men? While we make those. I'm sure that's come up in a meeting. I guarantee you. Why can't we make those? Could we make an Iron Man?

All right. I'm going to have a lunch and learn. this weekend. We're going to watch X-Men Origins Wolverine. And yeah, everybody bring their lunch, well, we just sit around. I'm sorry. But I really want to have a serious. That movie sucked. I watched it for work at the Pentagon.

So, they make him Wolverine. The experiment happens. We all know what's going on here. Points off, they don't give him the big, dumb, stupid helmet, until when you get that in X-Men apocalypse, that like, the weapon X-Helmet the thing there is waiting. Some people

know what I'm talking about. I vaguely Remember what you're talking It's like a big dumb helmet That he wears inside the tank With like goggles on it Yes It's dumb looking But I love it

What I love is this dude Is naked as a J. Birdman It's awesome And you get some Wolverine or striker Oh man Well it's only fair If I'm naked too

I'm nude Wolverine There are no clothes for you That way Wolverine Fat Brian Cogs Naked Swimming in Alkalai Lake People find pants, people lose them. But dude, this is some

fucking grade A Hugh Jackman, IRL, ass cheek in this movie. It's great. Both of them. Both cheeks. I guarantee you some CGR artist had to do some sidecock digital painting out of the frame. I guarantee that thing was flip-flopping all over the place. Do you think they balked up the butt at all or no? You think it's natural? Dude, that's, that's some Hugh butt.

right there, man. That's not Logan. That's Hugh. There is no Logan, only Hugh. Whenever he's in the backside, that's just the actor. Yeah, he's not playing a character. Yeah, he does that shot. There's other stunmen, but not for that shit. I think that's why all that does that for real. That smokestack shit at the end of the movie looks so terrible because they had to spend so much money erasing his cock from this one scene. So he runs out. Yeah, he kind of fugitive jumps. It's a total fugitive jump. I did not kill my girlfriend

and he he runs up with Heather Heather Hudson who's another Marvel character of Alpha Flight fame not quite as old as always Which one was this? What is her name

In Alpha Flight? I want to say Vindicator maybe Okay because I was I was That's a Star Destroyer man I'm reading some some 2016 Captain Marvel and I She's farting around with Alpha Flight But I did not recall

That character there I like the guy who's even tinier than Wolverine. I love that old man. He's pretty cute. I think it's Travis. He's pretty great. Then there's also that dude's Sasquatch on Alpha Flores.

He just lay ahead and big guy. Oh, you're talking about Puck, the little tiny dude. Puck's the little tiny guy, which is great. Then there's Sasquatch, which is just a rip off of Chewbacca. I mean, I feel like I could be Puck. Puck for Hallorine. No, no, Puck. Like, if there's an Alpha Flight movie, I could be Puck.

Yeah, I mean, because they would just like give you that fucking Vinny Jones bulk suit. You'd have to grow a goatee and you'd be in business. Yeah, exactly. I'd have to practice a Quebequa accent, which is very difficult. Absolutely. So, yeah, so he's on the run now. He nudely runs into a barn. It's the classic, like, an old couple notices,

oh, mother, I think there's a naked man in the barn. All that stuff happens. It's, again, it's like, much like Frankenstein, like we're nursing him back to health for a night. And they're like, oh, you can. wear our son's old clothes. He was a bodybuilder. They all are so perfectly tailored.

We also, it's like, I think anyone's like usually fat, but like, you know what I mean? It kind of worked out. Fat in all the right places. I think it's insinuated that this gentleman was killed in Vietnam

is the idea. Oh, I see. Yeah, yeah, really saying something here. So it's kind of great because this dude's like, yes, of course, you can, you can spend the night here. In the barn!

like a fucking animal because you can't break anything because he breaks their bathroom he's been destroying everything which doesn't make any sense like he's like what metal claws I'm only used to bone claws like what are you talking about

it's the same fucking shit it's awesome though man he destroys a fucking rack and a sink he just swipes through that sink this is when the claws look the absolute worst this is the nadir of how

it's close up he's insane because this is the reveal of the claws this is what you spend your money on Not when you got to erase that dung, dude. There is only so much Murdoch money to go around. We spent everything on the dog removal. Wait, how much does it take to get rid of his Willie?

That's a lot. That's a lot. Yeah, it's worth it. I don't want anyone thinking I'm gay. Get rid of it. What? I don't know. That's Rupert Murdoch being homophobic.

I thought that was your huge hack. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. Sorry, sorry. So it's like they have a nice dinner the next morning. Sleep in the barn. Yeah, sleeping in the barn is pretty... Sleep in a barn like the dog you are, dude. And then the next morning, it's like, you know what, Wolverine,

you've really changed our lives because pacao! Pekow! And this old woman gets assassinated. Not before the origin of Wolverine's leather jacket. Oh, right. Like the fucking bonds out of nowhere. My son also had this really cool leather jacket. You want to try it on?

Look, he's dead. You can have a little. all of his belonging. We're trying to erase him from our memory entirely. How would you like some of these cooking? And these two old people are murdered. This is why you never pick up a hitchhiker because A, they might kill

you or B, you might be embroiled in their government cover up. Which is what fucking kind of happens in Logan when Eric LaSalle and his beautiful family taken fucking Daphne Keene and Logan and Professor X? And then they're all brutally murdered. Thanks, guys.

for the Logan spoilers. Oh, that's only in the color version, though, and the noir version, oh, no, it totally happens to the movie. But, no, I mean, that's like the curse of Wolverine, though. Anyone he touches, you know, gets murdered by somebody. Again, a better movie than the movie we're watching.

Oh, for sure. Like, just kind of like vagabond, Wolverine, kind of getting brought in by, and then he's just like, no, you don't want to invite me to stay in here, and then people are getting murdered. It's like first blood, but it's Wolverine. Yeah. You know what I mean?

Like, it's just him going to, town to town. He's burnt out from the wars. That was actually something that Gavin Hood wanted to put in this movie was PTSD, but Fox has no do on that. They don't believe in it. They don't believe in. I can't acknowledge that that's a thing. And it's awesome because these old people die what I like to call a double death. Because one, they're shot to death. It's Agent Zero here. You've selected Agent Zero. Why don't you just tell me the name of the mutant you want to be?

So then, like, Wolverine runs out on the motorcycle, just as this dude tells the helicopter pilot to launch these missiles at this barn. So it's like, you were shot to death and then crispy critters. Awesome. That's great. Oh, man. Well, at least Wolverine got all your son's belongings beforehand. And at least they died just like their son. He pulled.

Probably. Well, they were NPCs anyway, dude. That's true. If they survived and he went back there, you'd just be like, Would you like my son's leather jacket? Oh, would you like my son's leather jacket? Perhaps go to the village to continue. You know, there's a lot of things I'm hearing about that Alkalai Lake.

There's a lot of things I'm hearing about that Alkalai Lake. Why don't you go up to Alkalai Lake? And so the whole thing is like Wolverine thinks that Sabretooth is behind this whole thing. So he's like on the hunt to find Sabretooth, not knowing that Danny Houston's the puppet master. Well, no, now he kind of, he sort of starts to piece it together because, uh, Agent Zero, he fights Agent Zero and Danny Houston's like, is Wolverine dead, did you kill the Logan? Oh, right, he hears it on the radio.

Also, great Wolverine murdering people is like there's a gas leak, and he takes out his little claw and like scrape some rocks, and then Agent Zero blows up. After being in a helicopter crash, kind of a double death for that guy, I do. Lots of double deaths. I love it. We go to Vegas. This is where he meets up with John Wraith, who is hanging out with the blob, and we need

to talk about the blob for at least 30 minutes. It's kind of awesome because, so what's the blob's name? Fred Dukes. And so like, Will I Am is like, I don't know, maybe like, you know, a terrible in this movie? Yes, he is. He's like, oh, you know, maybe Fred knows where he is. And Wolverine's like, all right, where's Dukes?

And he's like, oh, he's out here in this boxing gym that I own. And he's like, now you've got to be careful, though. Ever since the team fell apart, it kind of hit him pretty hard. And it's like, so this dude just ain't. ate so much that now he's just obese. But also, like, he's like, oh, man, I really miss the guy's chump. I miss my

murder squad. And, like, you see him in this movie, he's, like, boxing some kind of middle-aged dude, and he's, like, boxing with one hand, and he's got, like, a slushy in the other hand. But it's, I mean, it's a fat bastard outfit. It's exactly the fat bastard.

Yeah, totally. Yeah, they get used to it. I read it. It smells like Mike Myers. Well, they had to fucking. get it out of whatever planet Hollywood it was sitting in. Can you imagine eating next to that? Oh, wait, the kilt is, why is the kilt sewn on to the outfit?

That doesn't make any sense. Why is there a fake dick under the kilt? What I hate about this sequence and I also hate about the gambit sequence coming up is it's just another one of these things like Wolverine has to fight this mutant go punch, punch, punch, punch, oh, we're fighting. And then it's just like, why don't we be friends instead? Yes. And each fucking time has happened.

It's fucking pointless. It's just for, like, this is the problem with the movie. It should, there's not enough Wolverine in this movie. There's a lot of like, and let's introduce more X-Men characters. No, no, no, no, this is the Wolverine movie where Wolverine does it. Well, and I don't understand, like, are people not sick of watching people fucking fighting in these movies? Are we, can we just not have fight sequences in superhero movies because it's so boring? I agree with you.

Like, you get three. You know what I mean? Like, the big one in the beginning, the middle one, and then the end. You clearly don't pay attention. Like, there's not, if somebody in the audience is like, did you see that fucking upper cut? Like, nobody's counting. Nobody's paying attention. No one ever talks about those parts.

This part of the movie is kind of the greatest example for that because, like, he fights the blob and he's like, where the fuck? And some guy with a blob tattoo in the first one was jerking off. Like, finally, he's here! Also, it's really stupid because he had like a skinny. a skinny woman tattoo and now because he's larger the tattoo is now an obese lady

I don't know how that works okay weepwop it's a cartoon world but this is your favorite line in the movie right Sean this is where Sean shared in the theaters this is when I walked out well no this is what you you for years have been talking about

which is when he's like hey bub can you give me that information and Fred Dukes for no reason is like did you just call me blob and it's like no he didn't and that's like how he got his name name. That is how the blob got his name.

It seems like there is a history of him being called blob, though, because when he says, did you just say blob? Oh, he's doing a Ted Levine in this. Am I a great big fat person? Yes, you are. But then, like, they cut to Will I Am, and he kind of shakes his head, like, oh, somebody did it again. Like, it wasn't the first time someone called him blob.

Yeah, and 20 seconds later, he's like, you shouldn't have called him blob. He's like, I said Bub, and they both look at the audience, and they go, get it. You fucking get it And then he's like Well you're gonna Yep Hey Mario She's in the other casual

You gotta see Gambit now But this is what I'm taking about That's exactly what it is He fucking fights blob For that information And it's not even five minutes Before he's fighting Gambit For more information

And he's like Threatening to kill all He's like If you're lying to me About this island Then I'll come back here I'll cut your fucking head off Okay

And you're like Wow you guys are all kind of friends you and better movie is it's all lies he gets there there's nothing there and he goes back and actually cuts these mutants heads up it's just a fucking weird pointless movie

it's called X-Men Origins Wolverine colon gaslight or the to do list and he's just crossing names off of a legal pet he's like yeah man

the only mutant that ever escaped from the island's name a gambit. Hey, hey, fat kid in the front. You're excited. You're going to see Gambit. Oh, no. I just saw that other one coming and sit back down from going to the concession stand. Let me say it again. Gambit's coming. You kids ready for Gambit? It's 70 minutes in, but Gambit's coming. Don't worry. No, stay seated. I love my movies having a call and response to the address. Exactly. There's also just, there's a moment when Wolverine says like, look how

how fatty is. He's got a front ass hanging out of the front of his shirt. Yeah. Which is such an obscure... I kind of laugh. It's not humor for this movie really. Now, and that's because this movie is quite humorless. I think there are honestly

more jokes in Logan that land. Yeah, they do. But this... I don't know. I laugh. Because I think it's like you can't say fupa in a movie. You have people coming out of the theater being like, what the fuck was that thing he said? Oh, great. Now we've got to digitally remove Fupa from this movie.

I'm losing so much money, Rupert Murdoch. No, I'm not going to reshoot this. He's just digitally change his mouth. Oh, man. So we go to New Orleans. There is Gambit. He's played by David Koresh. Taylor Kitch, David Koresh, Tim Riggins.

And this is the thing is like, Taylor Kitch got a lot of shit. Taylor Kitch, a Canadian, by the way, with like a fucking legit Canadian. Adian accent, was filming Friday Night Lights at the time that this movie was going on. And Friday Night Lights, and also I was playing David Kress. She's got, like, a pretty okay, like, Texas accent. And so, like, the thing to kind of defend Taylor Kitch here, because I think, like, this dude's just gotten, like, a fucking bad deal in Hollywood that, that fucking John Carter from Mars movie that everyone hated.

And it's actually, like, kind of fun. Battleship. Battleship, which rightfully everybody hated. And then it was in the really bad second season of, uh, true detective. That's right. This guy, oh man, this guy's got a raw deal. It sucks because he's cursed. He might be cursed. I mean, well, I think the Koresh was a comeback because he's really great on Friday Night Lights, but he's filming this concurrently with Friday Night Lights.

And it's a damned if you do, damned if you don't, because a Cajun accent is a super hard thing to do legitimately. Yeah. And more often than not, see the fucking Fox cartoon with Gambit in it. It goes cartoonish. Yeah, so like, you either do what he's doing, which is like a slightly adjusted. Tim Riggins' voice. Sure. Or you're doing a cartoon

where you're fucking verping gumbo every other word. Let's go cartoon. This is a cartoon character. But dude, it would have been a thing where it's like,

that's not for this. Look how cartoonish is it. It's silly. This is a serious one of the mob. I actually didn't. The accent is none. I don't even care. Like literally,

and I'm a huge Gambit fan. Like, it's fine one way or another. The way, his performance is fine, but everything about this character sucks. It makes no sense to use such a massive. X-Men character as just like a DeiSX helicopter pilot.

I guess the idea is we introduce him in this one. Right. Next time, baby. But also like, what are they... So this is 1979. If you put Gambit in those new movies, he's got to be 55 years old. Exactly. Which is a problem.

Yeah. Especially since he's sleeping with Anna Pacquine. Oh, my God. Oh, right. Now say, talk about an age gap love. But yeah, so it's Gambit. And he's doing really stupid computer card tricks. Like, you know, get a guy in there that knows how to do card tricks. Again, gravity.

Yeah. Just like, abide by it. And also because, like, it doesn't make any sense. When you see him put the kinetic energy into things, they turn purple and cards go flying. This is like, they're just flying through the air with no purple outline around them. So, like, it's not him using his power. It's him doing impossible cards. It's not specific.

Nothing about this character is specific. later he uses his staff and he's like using it to fly somehow like use the helicopter that's not a thing no okay why would that be a thing it's a man that can put energy into objects what they should have done like for just shots of his hands doing card tricks and stuff they should just done gotten ricky jay to slay gambit it's like oh man you see gambit's sausage fingers in that movie and then they cut back and it's like this hunky dude totally and then there's just one scene they accidentally It's just Ricky Jay. He's his fat beard? Yeah, no, it's him in the 90s cartoon outfit with like the weird side mask and the big trench coat.

That side mask was pretty stupid. I got to say. I thought it was super cool. It's like a thing that you. I missed it. I wanted it in here. I just wanted it. I don't care.

It's a thing that you wear when you have to be outside snow blowing in the cold and like you're covering most of your head. Hey, Logan. It's pretty cold in here. Watch this card. You want to throw this card trick out of watermelon? Yeah, actually, the only way I'm going to speak is if David Mamet writes it. I'm an odd turn for this screenplay. I want an actual somebody Photoshop, Ricky Jay in a Gambit outfit.

Figure it out. You folks out there can do it. We know you can. Gambit fight. And again, all he's like, hey man, I just want to talk to you about this one thing. And like he's trying not to fight him. But then, of course, it does. And this movie especially, I agree with you, Sean.

I'm like, you can do that maybe once in a movie where there's a misunderstanding and two heroes fight each other and then they turn out to like each other. You can't do that five fucking times in a row. Totally. Also, this fire escape, dear God. Oh, where Wolverine's like clawed in the firescape?

Yeah, this fire is, so Gambit's going up a fire escape and Wolverine destroys the entire fire escape. One, like, ladder. He shredded like a toss salad. Yeah, it's fucking crazy. It's fucking crazy. physics has to exist for this movie to make any sense

how many stakes? You're telling me his bones are under there like I know that now it's got a metal coating but that's like punching shit with your teeth that would hurt right? They'll be like ah like think about the, you know not even this scene but go back to the bone claws

dear God that's got to hurt yeah and there's never any mention of that and in the first movie I think it is somebody asks him like oh does that hurt and he says every time which is a fucking cool line it's a comic book that's like from

directly from the comics. Totally not acknowledged you're whatsoever and it should especially be the case for the fucking bones if you're just poking yourself with toothpicks

on your hand come on. Gambit, I don't even know what the fuck he's doing. He's got this stick Wolverine cuts it in half and he's like

plunging it into the side of a building using it just like the flying fuck are we talking about I don't even know there are so many people crawling around like Spider-Man the character's really specific powers

right like that's what i liked about those brian singer x-men movies they do use i was going to say read a fucking comic book yeah but like because they also misunderstand deadpool coming up they they like that that awesome night crawler scene is exactly like i know what this character's powers are absolutely this is an exciting set piece with this like quicksilver in those later movies too like this is a fun way to show you what this power is well because there's like an intention to a scene yes like in in a real movie yeah there's like, oh, well, this scene's about this thing. Let's figure out a really interesting way to do it.

In this movie, it's like, okay, you guys fight and he wins. Okay, next scene, you guys fight and he wins. Okay, next scene. And it's such a tease too, because, like, yes, when the fight starts, they're like sitting at a table, there's a card game because, of course, there is. Daniel Negrano is there, poker star, ew. Oh, God, only you. Yeah, I know.

But, like, you see that card charge up, and I was like, sick. Here we go. And that's the one thing that's the character. Like he kind of like card shoots him through a wall and it's pretty sweet. But then that's the end of it. You kids might want to stick around. There's a professional poker player coming up. It's a cameo in the movie.

It's the blob. You got gambit coming up. And for you dad's out there, Daniel Negranu's going to be there. Look out for him. He's the one wearing the sunglasses. I want to refill your popcorn now. Get back in your seats for Daniel Nagarro. So the blob is a little fucking paper clip.

Yeah, always clip in Microsoft. Oh, totally. You know, and Cyclops is coming. I don't know why, but he is. I'm kind of okay with this part. Yeah. It's like, Will I.M. does get a fatality, which is great. Oh, yeah, it's a total fatality due to fucking spine rip. Woo-hoo.

Yeah, Sabreto just kind of goes in there and gets him. It's kind of an interesting because, like, he grabs him right when he's trying to teleport. And, like, well, he's avenging the blob, by the way. Because he's like, you killed the blob, that's my best friend. Oh, was the blob murdered? Because he's like, yeah, Duke's told me you'd be here and I killed him or something. Oh, I just totally. You son of a bitch.

The blob gets murdered off screen. That's the one murder I want to see. I think he also killed Wade Wilson off screen because when he goes after the Carney, he says, he's like, oh, Wade's gone. Oh, that's right. A lot of interesting stuff happening off screen. But, dude, yeah, exactly right. to let you know that Cyclops and Emma Frost are coming up, guys. I just really need to see the blob murdered on camera.

And a very special, a cameo by one of your favorite, most important X-Men in a younger form. You guess who that is? I'm going to the bathroom. Hey, by the way, when you're looking out for Cyclops and Emma Frost, I think there's a little lip-licking from a younger toad. Stay tuned, y'all. And then he goes to the bathroom, and the mic's still on. Oh, no, they got a little shit on that.

I was like, I've washed my hands real. Oh, I killed them all, of course. It's the blob taking this shit. Oh, man. So, yeah, we go on. Cyclops gets abducted. It's like a high school scene. This is a really stupid thing because, like,

Sabretooth goes to steal him with Danny Hughes to kidnap him. And, like, Cyclops' eyes. go off and he shoots through the school and whatnot and like there is not a single soul in this school building. Why is it just cyclops? Because he was just in class. But that's what you're continuous.

It doesn't make any sense. Like nobody's running out like hey the fucking building is falling apart. No, there's a chemistry class that is ashes. Like you know what I mean? Because it goes like all the way through the school like up to like the second level and everything and you're like all right so who's dead?

So yeah he kidnaps him and you realize. very quickly that Stryker is collecting these mutants and now the whole story of this movie is about this island that we've never even thought about until we kind of get elusive references to it. Three mile island, real place.

And yes it is. That's where Gambit escaped. And Gambit has a fucking biplane that he's fucking flying him around and Wolverine's afraid of flying since when! This guy's in helicopter's the entire movie. He goes from scene to scene in helicopter.

That's actually true, dude. You need him in Nam, like, vomiting in a bag. He's like, hom on a, hom on a, I don't like helicopters or planes. Like, the fuck are you talking about? Also, you're a mortal. Get out of town. Maybe he's cool with helicopters, dude. It's just, like, sea planes like that he's got a problem with.

Or it's a thing we always talk about it. You know, you don't want to be in a plane with a pilot who you know. Like, you know, you want a commercial pilot. Yes, I want a dude who is ex-military, you know, and he's just a friendly person flying a plane. That's some greasy Cajun. Exactly. So Gambit flies him there But it's a weird like he refuses to land on it

So Wolverine's got to do a fucking tuck and roll Kind of entertaining to watch This little Wolverine cartoon Splash over the water And now we have the parlor scene Where he finds Danny Houston And Danny Houston's like oh no But Silver Fox is alive

And she's like yes I was in out of the whole time And she also has by the way Tactile Hypnosis Yeah It means she could touch you And make you do what she wants And also like give you

like feelings and whatnot and we see and that's it's kind of like if anybody is paying attention to this movie yes like way back at the beginning there's a thing where like there's two dudes on a road and they're like blocking the road with their cars and Wolverine's like honking the horn and shit and he gets out to like fuck

this dude up and she comes out and puts his hand her hand on his shoulder and is like hey could you please move your car and like without saying anything this dude like walks away and I was like oh she's a mutant I didn't even think that I just thought it was like to show that Wolverine's about to kill him

and she's like, no, no, no, no, guys, let's just relax. She pointedly touches his shoulder though and then he, because then he says like, how did you do that? And she's like, oh, it's just my feminine powers of persuasion. I was like, no, you're probably a mutant that I don't know. I don't have a t-shirt of you.

Hey, uh, Silver Fox's got mutant powers guys. You might want to stick in your seats for that. He's just not giving it as all. All right, hey guys, go to the bathroom now in a few minutes. Weapon 11 coming up. Stay tuned.

I like the idea of having like a, it's like a DJ for a movie. Yeah, especially a shitty movie like this. Like, yeah, why not? I guess Elvira kind of does that. Right, yeah. Hey, you guys thought you weren't going to see Deadpool in this movie. Well, you kind of are and you kind of aren't. Shine out, you'll be morbidly not okay with it.

So, yeah. Yeah, so we're going to kill everybody. There's now we've got another saber-toothed Wolverine fight going on. It's just too much. It's like, there's just like, his girlfriend's crying, even though it was a fix. And Danny Houston is mohaha-hying and like, and Deadpool or Wade Wilson is like going under surgery. And now look, there's 15 new X-Men that we have to see in Gage. Yeah, that's.

I'm just like, why, what is this? When they show that shot of like the little X-Men prison or the mutant prison, that is one of those like for the fans X-Men moments it's also like when in last stand when Magneto has that like secret resistance meeting or whatever it's like they

go by all these X-Men who I will never know if you screen cap it you can name each one of them and there's somebody who's like there's fucking this person there's that person there's the lame person I have is my tattoo well it's always but it's only in these X-Men movies specifically and this is kind of

a different like now in the Avengers movies. It's all about like, we will only set up characters that we will actually make properties of. Right. And this is like for the fan. It's like, oh, cool. I remember in this X-Men 2, they have like people's names on a computer screen. You go, ooh, that's a name on a computer screen. Right. Including like fucking Hank McCoy. I had to wait until that shitty third movie to get some beast. Or in like in this movie, it's like, oh, that's a red-haired kid who's got a thing on his mouth. That must mean he's probably banshee. We'll never see that. Like, you know what I mean? It's like, that's kind of the level we're playing with like, oh, that's a

Brown-Aren kid who's sad, that's probably that sad guy. But honestly, though, I feel like, it's weird because, like, superpowers. Cinematically, it doesn't really read. But at the same time, it reads more like a comic than those Avengers movies do. Like, I just read through, like, Civil War II. And there's so many people that just, like, drop into that movie or that story and drop back out.

Yeah, sure. Like, which you can do with comic books, obviously. And, like, I feel like with this scene, it's sort of, like, more true to that. shit. Well, because they're more careful with them in the Avengers movies because like literally each one of those characters is a billion dollars and you, and because it's a continuous universe you don't want to fuck it up. That's why like that

shield show will have nobody on it because like we need to introduce, if we're going to do whatever, Captain Marvel we're only going to do it right and it's only going to be by the big, one of the biggest stars in the country. Right. And I think that's why they've collectively given up on another ghost rider

movie because they put Ghost Rider on that fucking show. And he definitely, oh man, he's on the Shield Show. Like I saw a commercial for it and like it's Ghost Rider and I was like, oh, well they've given up. They've given up on another cinematic go round with Ghost Rider. So he fights Sabretooth one more time.

I don't even know how this ends. He kind of beats him and he walks away. And it's revealed at this point that Danny Houston tried some tests and he realized that Sabretooth wouldn't survive the surgery so he won't give it to him. Right. Yeah, he's pissed off because he doesn't give him like the Adamantium surgery.

And I think the fight is kind of just broken up by Danny Houston being like Activate Weapon X. Or 11, excuse me. So then here comes Wade Wilson. There is a really dumb line during the Adamantium scene where he's like we'll call him Weapon X. And somebody's like

Weapon X is like X for Roman numeral 10. It's like, dude, are you fucking serious? Just trying to keep everybody on the We're just trying to keep you all on the same page. Everybody's, hey, look, sometimes the movie's going to hold your hand. Sometimes it's not. we introduce Roman numerals when you least expect it.

Don't want nobody out there to be confused. So now we have this Deadpool thing that some of this is apparently Scott Adkins, the action star. He's a ninja? He's in ninja. He's a ninja two. I thought he's a professional

ninja. No, he's a professional stunt man. He's also on hard target too. He's got some acting credit. He's doing like all the more insane weapon 11 moves. And he looks like Baraka. It's just, it's fucking awful. What the fuck were they thinking with this?

And again, this is something that they would never do in those Avengers movies because they'd be like, we want a Deadpool movie. We won't have this bastardized bullshit version of Deadpool. We'll either make it something else or do something else, which is the better idea. But then Fox eventually, I guess, did that with these new movies. So they sewed his mouth shut for some reason.

Well, because at the beginning of the movie, when they're going on like the hunting, for the blood diamonds and whatnot or the hunt for the adamantium. Danny Houston has a line where he's like, you're great at what you do, Wilson. Now, if only you could do it with your mouth shut or something like that.

If your mouth was shut, you'd be the perfect soldier. So if you pay attention and now his mouth no longer works. Sometimes this movie will hold your hands. Are you wondering how he eats? Well, maybe he eats up his butt. Anyway, let's continue. you look you know what you wanted to see Deadpool that's all you're going to get this is all you're

going to get guys this is Deadpool for this time take it or leave it you know maybe there's like a funnel that goes into his belly button for him to eat I don't really know a deleted scene is where weapon 11 changes a colostomy bag stay tuned have you ever trying to eat with your eyes Deadpool has A couple of little mouths So because we have to Wipe this character Off the face of the earth

In under 10 minutes Wolverine's like all right everybody Get out of here with those kids I'm going to distract him And he's going to chase me up This fucking smoke stack Cue the 15th X-Men movie That we've seen

Where a bunch of kid mutants go running in a group Again like this is the Wolverine movie I don't need a bunch of kids that need to be saved. And also like... You're going to get it in Logan. You're going to get... Yeah.

Fucking Charles Xavier shows up. At some point, Cyclops is like, we have to go this way and like Silver Fox is like, wait, why? Hey, by the way, are you even a character? It's like, no, no, seriously, I'm a character. I'm actually one of the biggest. Stay tuned.

And he's like, go this way and you don't know why. Well, you're hearing like, go left. Yeah, you got to turn it up, dude. You got to clean the shit out of your ears. Hey, man, you better put the volume up to 25. or else you're going to miss some really important shit. Hey, you don't want to miss those whispers. Stay tuned.

So, uh, yeah, it is Telly Savalas, fucking Patrick Stewart. Dude, he's got a fucking Telly Zabalas jacking off. I just don't understand this tan they give him. They do it the same thing in the last stand. It's just like he's always, oh, I was just on vacation. What we do. I just came from Atlantis. We talked at length about how the X-Men were constantly going to the beach.

That's true. He was on vacation. They're on vacation in that fucking first class when he gets shot the spine. Catching some rays. Hang ten. Hey, party dudes. Do you want to hear something really stupid?

Yes. I got drunk on the beach and fell asleep. If I took my shirt off, somebody wrote in sunscreen, Bougar on my chest. I woke up and a crab was pinching my nipple. Oh, man, I tried to pick up a chick, but I had booger written on my chest.

just another day at the beach but no somebody some X-Men executive was like oh the reason Xavier is walking in this movie but actually you know that he was crippled in the 60s is because this is a mental projection

everybody he does a mental projection in one of those other movies it's where shit though it's because that other movie wasn't written yet you didn't figure out what you wanted to do yeah yeah that's exactly right everyone get on my plane goodbye movie

It's actually kind of awesome, dude, because it's a helicopter, and I don't think all those kids could fit. They got to fight it out. Oh, no, that's what happens to Toad. Toad is like, oh, man, I'm going to be a good guy. It's going to be awesome. Oh, reptile, boy. No, no, no.

Everybody else takes off, and then it's like a tan, young Ian McKellen walks out of the woods. So they left you, I see. I wrote booger on his chest at the beach. It was a sexy prank. May I remind you, Toad, who I've just met. I was in a concentration camp. Come along, Toad. You are the bugger, Charles, not me.

That's a t-shirt. I don't know. So, yeah, they're fighting. Then we get the, what? No, I was going to talk about the fight. This sick fight. The reprise of back-to-back. Back to back.

it's so stupid Because I guess it's like Oh you actually didn't murder my girlfriend But you actually killed most of my real friends Yeah He's killed this whole fucking team Like why are they even teaming up again now To fight this dead cool monster

One because back to back But two The enemy of my enemy is my friend So in this instance it's like All right let's kill this motherfucker and then we'll handle our shit later There's also like historic military strategies Right

About back to back? failings and then there's the you know like the you know the red coats stretched this way and Wolverine and Sabretooth did back to back right Hannibal in the Alps and back

and the Riker maneuver I can't forget the Riker maneuver dude and Deadpool is not only but it's funny because he keeps like only remembering that he could do this stuff like at in an opportune times like first it just swords through my hand

and there's a baraka and then he's like Oh, wait, I can teleport. And he's like, cool. Now I'm teleported. Well, a thing that makes no sense and it's not consistent at all in this scene is there's, like, security cameras everywhere. And Danny Houston is typing into a 1970s computer all the moves that Weapon 11's supposed to be doing. And at one point, oh, is it sweet? He just types decapitate.

What is the, how do I do the fatality? Is it backpack left? Somebody get the sheet. Get the sheet. Get the game from. Oh, man, I wrote defecate. How am I supposed to press up twice? He's in the air for it.

That move is impossible. He stops and Deadpools is just taking a shit. So he's murdered because, of course, he is instant, almost instantly. He's got these laser eyes, too, the members of Cyclops. He's chock full of all these mutant powers. He's all of them. Why wouldn't you give him the fucking diamond skin, stupid? Yeah, well, I guess I didn't get that.

the blob. Yeah. You should have pricked up Fred Dukes, dude. Totally. Yeah, that could be helpful. Yeah, no, man. I remember that time I punched a cannon? Too bad.

I'm hearing the bottom of your screen as a ghost. It's like a ghost mixed with pop-up video. I've unfinished business. And that is telling you how good this movie is. And, man, you know what's great? And so, like, he is decapitated by Wolverine. and the corpse fucking falls down this this smokestack and is falling in a perfect circle

because he is decapitated while the Cyclops power is happening and you just see this laser in a perfect swirl fall down that smoke stack. I think this solves the question you asked earlier, Eric, is what happens if that happens in Cyclops. But I think this guy's part robot. So like it's a switch that goes on and the beams are just happening.

Maybe sort of kind of. Well, it's weird because he gets, he uses it for the first time he gets like weird raccoon eyes and kind of looks even more like Deadpool that's like a nod to like the fan who's like wow you're ruining my favorite character but at least he's got raccoon eyes warmer so then like Wolverine like almost falls off this thing which wouldn't have mattered anyway because at the end of this fight he jumps off of it but like saber tooth has the line like only I get to kill you or whatever the smokestack falls down they both jump off it

Sabretooth, I guess, just runs away. Finds Magneto in the wood somewhere, too. Oh, welcome back. Oh, hello there, Sabretooth. May I remind you I was in the Holocaust? I think you should change your hair to very long and very blonde. You don't look enough like a professional wrestler for my taste. Getting warmer.

I control the style. So then Wolverine's like upset because this woman is dead. been shot at some point. Sure. He's carrying her off into the sunset, and then here comes Danny Houston with an adamantium pistol or a pistol with adamantium bullets in it.

Shoots Wolverine a couple times. Wolverine comes back, gets shot in the head. And somewhere around here, Danny Houston knows if you shoot Wolverine in the brain with an adamantium bullet, it won't kill him, but it will erase that memory. He says it to some scientist. He's like, no, no, I'm going to erase his memory with this thing.

And she's like, what? This woman's like, what are you fucking stupid? And then lob in the corner goes, it's true. It's pretty cool when it happens. Hey, you know what? Just don't ask too many questions. We're almost done here. Look, you want to get out of here or what?

Look, his memory is erased. The next movie's coming. So then, like, this woman, like, grabs Danny Houston's heel and does the mind control and is, like, walk to your feet bleed and then walk some more. Because she's like, I would kill you, but that would make him. make me as bad as you, but like, if you're dying and like he's, he's, he's, with you. Yeah, that's totally fine. Yeah, nobody's going to know. Nobody cares.

Nobody cares. And then like this move, like, oh, Gambit comes back and he's like, hey, we got to get out of here. And Wolverine's like, nah, thanks, but no thanks. And then the movie ends with this ridiculous, like, fake computer shot of this woman dead. And Wolverine just kneeling there and a bunch of fire trucks are pulling up. Like he had to die hard.

I think Gambit even's like, did you know that woman? He's like, no, I didn't. And somewhere someone actually. cares, but I don't know who that person would even be. Oh, right, because I can't even imagine. I can't even imagine a universe where someone would be affected. We've just washed up at the point where I like this character now. Like, finally, his memory's gone.

Let's begin. Roll roll credits. And it's, yeah, it's like, you know, Gambit's like, come on, we got to get out of here. And he's like, who are you? Yeah. That whole thing. Where am I? He's like, you know what?

Let's save it for another movie. I know I'll be back. Oh, there's going to be so much Gambit. I will see you guys later. Totally. Maybe I'll swing back around to have you in Gambit 3. Do you guys have Gambit fever yet? Oh, spoiler alert, that ain't happened. We're just going to jerk you all off for 10 years.

That ain't happened. We're going to cast Channing Tatum. It's a total smoke screen. It's not going to happen. That Gambit movie with Channing Tatum's is going to turn into another step-up sequel. Don't you worry, you're pretty little noggin. It'll be set in New Orleans, though.

It's pretty cool. Blob out. And then we have two of the most useless stinger scenes in the history of computer or comic book stingers. No, no, you were right, the first. Of computer movie stingers. The first one is Danny Houston. We do see his feet are bleeding like,

whew, thank God I saw that. And then it's some like military police officer arresting him for the murder of this anonymous general in the middle of the movie. And that's why I thought though, because when the general has a scene earlier in the movie, whatever this dude's name is. Munson or something. Yes, Munson, exactly.

Like, Danny Houston is like, oh, thank you for joining me here, General Munson. And he almost looks at the camera like, you're welcome. Blubb is like, yeah, I don't know who that guy is either. Not me swinging. So I just thought it was like somebody because then it's like General Munson,

we want to see you about the murder of General Munson. And I was like, oh, impact hit. Boom. Yeah, I was like, shit better look up with General Munson begins. My God. His sons are pretty important. Is that right?

Oh, no, Munford. Oh, that's almost a joke. Oh, Thurmond. Yeah. Thurmond Munson. Yes, yes, that's who he's related to somehow. I don't know. It's a 70s.

That's his, yeah, that's his son. Yeah, my famous baseball player's son. Yeah, so that, oh, then the other one is, I guess, supposed to be Wolverine in Japan. Oh, wait. Oh, interesting. different cuts. Did you see the cut with Deadpool? Yeah. Oh, tell me all about it. I've never seen it. Well, you say, I didn't see the...

No, guys, guys, guys, just don't care about this. Well, it's a bullshit. Yours is kind of at least something. No, it's not. The one that I saw, and I think it was the one that was in theaters, the one that's on HBO Go now. That's also how I saw the film. Yeah, it's like there's a shot glass, Wolverine

takes a shot at a bar. I guess it maybe is more modern times, but you can't really tell, because you can't tell when any of this movie takes place. He takes a shot, there's a woman, who asked him like are you drinking and forget and he's like I'm drinking you to remember interesting it's an Asian woman

it doesn't tell you that it's necessarily Japan I don't know what's going on here does that I haven't seen it since like it came out but does the Wolverine that violent one that takes place in Japan does that hold up at all I haven't seen it in a while it's very forgettable to me

I only saw it the one time and it's from what I remember it's good until at the end he fights a dude in a robot suit for no reason. Yeah. And it's like kind of stupid. It's him fighting the yakuza for a long time, which is a lot of fun. By the way, that's the ending of, the stinger you just said was the ending of the movie

Colossil. And so the one I got was, it's, we zoom out on, it's, we're back on three mile island, and Deadpool is decapitated, and for some reason his mouth is open, and his eyes just open up, and he

grabs his own head, and he just... With what? His decapitated. Cappetated body is crawling over. Yeah, and, like, grabs his head, I think. And then he just goes, shush. Oh, no, a shush. Yeah, shush, the movie's... That is stupid.

You guys are going to want to quiet down when Deadpool shushes you. That's one guy, you be quiet for. Man, I mean, that's stupid, but at least it's kind of something. At least it's, like, get excited for another movie. Like, who could ever care about Danny Houston getting arrested? it. Wait, but so was, but Danny Houston was still your first

stinger, right? Yes, yeah. That's the first one and then all of you had all the other cat. Well, because I think the other thing was because they knew they kind of wanted to do Wolverine in Japan because I remember thinking of the time like, oh, that's also a comic that I remember. Right. Well, you know, I don't think these are stingers. I think these are stinkers. You got that right. Well done. Well, and so all

the people, I mean, depending on how old you are, but everybody saw this movie who's watching whatever superhero bullshit's coming out right now that everybody cares about. Sure. Why, why are we, why are people still excited

about those stinger scenes? Like, they're always not good. Yeah, because you just hope that it sets up a thing. Like the one in Infinity War sets up a thing. You gotta see it. I mean, what else you're gonna do? I mean, it's just a minute away.

I can't wait for the studies on people's bladders being destroyed by these stinger scenes. Because I've done serious damage to myself. You can tell the people in the theater that like had the big soda and can't be bothered. I mean,

because when we saw Infinity Wars, Steve, we commented. Like, there were so many people running out. It's like, you know at this point that they're coming. And I think it's like, you're trying to run to the bathroom. Like, you get the mid-credit run.

You get the mid-credit. And then you get back. Yeah. You're like, all right, cool. I got that one. It kind of doesn't mean anything. Fine. You race to the toilet.

And then you come back before the end of the credits where like the quote-unquote bigger one happened. But serious bladder trauma. I just walked out of Deadpool, too. I was like, I can't. I just can't.

I'm sorry, Deadpool, I can't. Would anybody recommend this movie? I would not. It's the second worst X-Men movie, I think. The first one being X-Men Last Class. Stand. X-Men Last Stand, yes, not the last class. It's just, but I think it's a little bit better than I remember in a way.

The first half is like almost a movie, and the second half is pure dog shit. Yeah, that's what, I mean, Andrew and I were talking about this, how it's like, it's actually not that bad when you think of all the other terrible superhero movies that exist now. At the time, it was horrible to watch. And now it's like, it's somewhere in the middle. Yeah, I mean, I kind of had a weird re-evaluation of this movie.

I hadn't seen it since theaters. But would you recommend it, though? Would I recommend it? I mean, I guess kind of. Like, I think this would qualify for me as a hangover movie. because again one of the things is like hey man you're taking a nap

through a lot of this movie it's totally fine like you're conscious enough through like you've ordered like your chicken tenders and your fries and you're really trying to coat that stomach with grease

and whatnot and then you're like ah great you kick back like drinking your vitamin water and slowly fall asleep towards like the middle of act two and I think if you wake up to credits

it's totally fine but yeah I think also like things have kind of gotten so bad like since this movie came out and also kind of like while we were having these movies but like we've had two ghost rider movies we had a we had a thor two that sucked a dog's ass like I think this movie's better than Thor the dark world

probably um you know so like there's stuffish also like it's just I like him playing this character yeah sure no matter the the level of quality of him doing it or kind of it's the worst outing he's all the second the worst it's that last stand is is wretched yeah I mean him just crying over jean gray and sort of melting at the end of that movie's pretty dumb. So I would not recommend this. Thank you, Eric. For reasons cited within podcast, I think.

That is X-Men Origins, colon, Wolverine. If you want more We Hate Movies, check out WHMpodcast.com or find us over on the HeadGum Network. Rate and review the show, wherever you get it, we would greatly appreciate it. And also, so Steve Sadek, we are now officially in summer blockbuster extravaganza mode. We absolutely are, and we're going to open up with, or, continue the fun i think oh that's the good way to put it uh with oceans 12 oh oceans 12 how about that and i want to quickly say i'm only to say one thing about it sure we have a patreon page

patreon dot com slash we hate movies that's right our episode for june is oh my god Jurassic world wow uh this movie we talked about today is better than Jurassic world I disagree I disagree with that as well I mean I don't know if I believe that, but it seemed right to say at the time. Well, you know, it was weird how they, they, uh, they had that T-Rex with no mouth. It was very bizarre.

Want to see how a T-Rex with its mouth sewn shut eats? Bend over and I'll show you. Uh, Sean Winer, thank you for guesting on the show, buddy. Hey, thanks for having me, guys. It's always fun. Yeah. When you come hang out and talk about, we kind of save you for like the, the really bad stuff

unfortunately. Yeah. Maybe we fixed that. The really bad stuff that you just recommend it. I'm just saying there's never been a we love movies episode where Sean is. Well, yeah. And I said this before we started recording, but actually, like, I would like to go back in time.

I would give back every superhero movie. Oh, wow. I would wash them all the way and just have book form. So, like, even like Batman 89, everything. Everything. Because you got to, it's got to hurt.

You got to give back. stuff that hurts if you want to do that. And I'll give it all back. Adam West. All of it. It's all gone. Everything's gone. All the serials and stuff. Just, just, just, just, all the serials. What are you talking about, like, shorts or breakfast food?

No, shorts, specifically, yeah. I would give it all back. And I guess that's why I recommend this movie, because it's like, it's all gotten so bad that, like, yeah, I guess, if you like superhero movies, this one's okay, I guess, but I would give them all back. I'd send them all to see. and I just have them on a book show In this back to the future world you're creating

Can I still have common book t-shirts? They all evaporate off my body No, you can have them, they exist They used to exist Sure, okay But yet they're not a target anymore That's a good point So until next month

Where we heist our way across Europe I'm Andrew Jupin Eric Siska Steven Sadek And Sean Wyman Take it easy That was a hit gum podcast.