We Hate Movies - S8 Ep364: Episode 364 - Lethal Weapon 4

Episode Date: June 26, 2018

On this week's episode, the Summer Blockbuster Extravaganza continues with a lengthy chat about the hands-down worst film in its franchise, Lethal Weapon 4! What's with that dastardly use of the third iteration of Van Halen? Who wanted all this family horse shit? And Riggs really should've died at the end of this one, no? PLUS: One more time—goddamn "Fire in the Hole" plays on this soundtrack! Lethal Weapon 4 stars Danny Glover, Mel Gibson, Joe Pesci, Rene Russo, Chris Rock, Jet Li, Steve Kahan, Kim Chan, Darlene Love, Traci Wolfe, and Eddy Ko; directed by Richard Donner. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Now on today's program, the summer blockbuster extravaganza rose along with a movie that I used to be obsessed to us, and I'm really embarrassed about this. What? What are you talking about? I've seen this movie no less than 25 times. I'm Andrew Juppen. I am shocked. I'm Steven Seda. I'm vomiting. I'm Chris Cabin. I'm Eric Siska, and I'm okay. This is Lethal Weapon Four, and we hate movies. Hello, everyone, welcome to we hate movies. Thank you for tuning in, as always, like we sort of set up top. This week's selection, it's Lethal Weapon 4 from 1998, directed by the great Richard Donner. This movie stinks.

It's wretched. And I'll tell you, here's the thing. It's okay to like it. Of course it is. Please. It's okay to like it. I just don't give a shit. Let's put it that way.

You probably shouldn't like it. I should say that up front. I like this at one time. We had it taped off of HBO, and I just watched it incessantly. Nobody has had a career like Richard Donner. other than maybe J.J. Abrams is like the closest thing. Interesting. To pilot, like to pilot two major franchises.

Yeah. And like also have a pretty accomplished like... Just career overall. Career overall. A lot of singles and doubles. Commercial like career where like each one has a singular voice. Like he did the Omen for crying out loud. That's right. You will forget that.

Yeah. So what was... So J.J. Abrams did Star Wars and what was the other? And Star Trek. Oh, right. Yeah. Jeez. How did I forget that? And then Richard Donner did Superman and the lethal weapon. He did Superman one and a half.

He did half of a Superman movie. And his cut is obviously way fucking better of the second one. That Superman and a half was a great movie where Bert Reynolds is hanging out with a little Superman. And they both pee in the same toilet? Right. Yeah, the swords sequence. It's like, oh wow, the Donner cut. It's awesome.

It's like a regular movie. And then you cut to fucking, you know, poor Christopher Eve in front of a card table reading off of a script. And then they cut back to the rest of the movie. Is that what it is? No, it's not that, but it's pretty close. A lot of unfinished stuff. So why did they release it? Because people like it.

Well, that was like a fan demand, right? Oh, yeah, like a new undercut. Yeah, exactly. Maybe we'll get the Snyder cut of Justice League. Those people, do you see this? Do you see this? AT&T. Since AT&T and Warner Brothers, Warner Brothers merged,

they are calling AT&T customer service reps asking for them. to release the Snyder cut of Justice League. What does AT&T have anything to do with it? Because now they own Warner Brothers and these people are crazy. They're out of their fucking minds. Let me get this right. A guy I call about my AT&T cellular bill has authority over the movie people. Yep.

That's how that goes. You got to look at that work chart, man. And so you're telling me that losers from the internet are calling the phone company in a movie release. 100% that's happening. Oh, we're so doomed. We're so doomed. Oh, you toxic little fans out there, stay in your basement.

We need a comet. Like, just a striker thing. Yeah, dude. Good, like, like they call them dino killers. Yeah, dude. I need a good dino killer right about now. Here's the thing with Dick Donner, though, man. You'll forget some of this shit.

16 blocks. Awful. Timeline. Also awful. Lethal weapon four. Unbelievable to be bad. Three and two, by the way. Conspiracy theory, which is to stay tuned in a half.

I remember kind of liking that one. Assassins. Also horrible. That is really bad. Maverick? Oh, yeah. It's too long. The problem with like later period Dick Donner, which I think is very evident in this,

he liked having a fun movie set, didn't he? Oh, yeah. He was just like, you know, it's just like, we're working until 4 p.m. and everybody gets out early. Did you know that Maverick was so fun they have a call? back to these movies where Danny Glover is playing a robber. Yes, I remember this. Maverick encounters him. Yeah. And they even

like twang the music and they're like, they look at each other and they're like, no, no. Oh, he's an actual. Yeah. It's stupid. It's unbelievably stupid. It's like most of that movie. It's fucking stupid. The lethal weapon dimension sort of touches Maverick, like it leeches into it like a

stranger thing type situation. That is really weird. And then, like, the front part of his career, movie-wise, was, like Chris said, The Oman and you had... Inside moves, really good. Yes. Superman. Although, then you get the toy in 19-19. That's maybe a stay-tune.

It might be too uncomfortable to talk about it. It would be really, really uncomfortable to talk about that. Anyway, I'm not going to read this dude's whole film, I agree. Point is hits and misses. Yeah. I'm a little... We'll go around the horn with our lethal weapondom. I've kind of only seen the first one.

and I watched this fourth one. Again, I've seen the fourth one. I didn't like it when it came out, and I just, I've never really kind of care. I like the first one enough, but even that's not a classic. You've never seen two? I've never seen two.

Diplomatic of Unity! It's incredible. I just rewatched all of them to prepare for this because I did watch them a ton growing up and I remember liking them very much. They don't hold up quite as well as I expected, but I actually like two, maybe more than one. I've always had that opinion of two.

Yeah. The ending is, bullshit and Riggs should have died at the end of two. Yes, that would have been cool. Or at least they should have just shot something different because in that movie at the end, Riggs is shot like 15 times and he's like bleeding to death. He's like, he's a pile of liquid. And Mertog's just like picking him up and they're joking and it's fine and he's okay. Well, I'm sure that's what got changed from Shane Black's original script was what John Boehm and I forget the other guy that did the doctor.

it was, but I, I'm 100% with you. Number two is way better than number one. I should watch two because one is good. One is totally one is good. Two, they're fighting racists the entire time, which is fantastic. And they also murder a dude in police custody. Oh yeah, dude.

Gary Busey. Yeah, that's the first one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Is it because I kind of feel like these are of a piece or always kind of in competition with each other. Die hard, V. Lethal Weapon. Diehard, the winner. Just because they're like, like, mid to late 80s, like action franchises? I like lethal weapon, too, more than diehard.

Really, that's nuts. Yeah, I don't, I don't agree with that, but the diehard sequels, they're really bad, too. Maybe I need to rewatch three. No, three is good. Three is good, two is horrible. Two is really bad. Isn't there like a four, five, and six now?

Oh, that's true. One of those was an episode. Yeah, right. It was thinned out a bit. Before that was Citizens on Patrol. No, Die Mard, Miami Beach. Oh, right, right. When they replace it, Bruce Willis with Matt McCoy.

Yeah, I don't know. Out of like all of those movies, I love Die Hard 3, something fierce. And as far as the franchises go, I guess the only way I can personally measure it is shit that I've rewatched more times. And that far and away is the diehard movies. Gotcha. Yeah. At least one through three. They are also probably less problematic.

Like two is good. They're fighting South Africans. There's a lot of message to it. But then obviously in four here, it gets a little dice. Three, I mean, I kind of have, I shrug at three. Three is not good. I wasn't crazy about it. But I like, I like the villain a lot.

Isn't three where they're like fighting in the like undeveloped house or whatever? Yeah, it's a crooked cop turned crime lord. Wait, so three and four both feature sequences with unfinished houses? Yes. Correct. Okay. We're really holding on to that gag. No gag in the second one.

Hold on. I think even the first is the first one. Maybe it's the second one. Mertag's house. Yeah, yeah, that's the second one. Yeah. And they're just carrying that gag over for some fucking reason. It was Reagan's America.

America was on the move. You could just fucking build a house. It didn't even matter. But also, I will say, and this is what pisses me off about three and four is that it becomes less about the precinct. Like there's less focus on how the, you know, the crime moves in a police department. Well, that's the thing with this movie. You know who the most interesting character in lethal weapon for is the Asian cop who's

like the dude who's like the triad expert exposition master but it's all interesting shit and I'm saying they're like I would just like to be watching some sort of Hong Kong action movie right now that's the problem this is this chummy horse shit in this movie Steve this whole

franchise is chummy horse shit yeah the first one's less chummy yes you're right first two aren't very I think that's what really fucked this thing up is that it got chummy you know who made it really chummy who chum that water up Joe Pesci, man.

And you'll forget how long he's been in this fucking franchise. He was introduced in the second movie. Totally. Isn't he like a grifter or something? He's a money launderer for the South Africans that's like turning on them and wigs and Mertag are supposed to do protection on them. In the third movie, he's Mertag's real estate agent. Yep, that I remember.

And in the fourth movie now, he's a private eye. That sucks. That is like fucking Dana Barrett going from cellist to art restore. fucking pick a thing and stick with it. Homer Simpson leaving the power plant for another job. That's about right. So what is this movie about, really? Oh, so this movie, it's

a mix of like a lethal weapon movie and part of the plot of Father of the Bride, too. Yes. Yes. So it's basically like Riggs and Murtaul we are officially too old for this shit on both sides of the partnership. The only cops in L.A. apparently.

Only cops in L.A. Basically, the police plot of this is Jet Lee is a dude from a Hong Kong triad who there's money laundering going on, a crooked Chinese general. Counterfeiting? Yes, not money laundering, but counterfeiting, correct? I mean, they have to launder it afterwards, but primarily it's about counterfeiting. We do see money go into a dryer with poker chips for some reason? I think to make it like less, I don't know. starchy.

Yeah, that's straight. Make the paper feel a little weathered out. Yeah. Like it's hammered a little bit. That's the wallet effect. I understand, but what do the poker chips do with that? Because you carry poker chips around with you all the time, right? That's what everybody does.

That is true. But actually, that's something that we should let people know is in New York City. We always like to give New York City facts. All New York City pizzerias are required to take poker chips as currants. Oh, that's right. If you just show up there with the, I'll take four reds for a slice, you'll say. Yeah, we're all those assholes who think we're George Clooney. Just throwing fucking poker chips everywhere.

A fat guy cigar or subway tokens? Oh, God, yes. We only use subway tokens, by the way. Oh, yeah, tokens for sure, dude. Yeah, so that's going on. And then the family side of things, Renee Russo Lorna has been impregnated by Martin Rigg. Yes.

Was he an alien? No, that's accurate. It is Mel Gibson, dude. Who looks hungover as balls through this entire movie? And Riggs, it's not like Die Hard 3 where he's got a bad fucking headache the whole time. No, no, no. It is just Mel Gibson looking like shit.

This is the first movie where the mullet's gone, too. Oh, he has the mullet in three? He does. I'm including... He's got a main in three. He's got a main in three. They bust him down to patrolmen at one point in the movie, and he wears it in a little ponytail. Oh, God, you're right. Oh, man. It's really embarrassing.

of lethal weapon three flooding back he's got the ransom cut in this you know wasn't it just like a year later like this was 98 I think ransom was 97 maybe I think it might even be 98 as well oh my god it was right around that time well he didn't do a lot of research for lethal weapon

four I'll tell you that much nobody did god like because like that's what you do like three you could still kind of feel it that charmed the thing that you liked about at first but like this it's just gone We're so on fumes

This movie was written There was like 25 scripts They filmed it in three months Like nobody gave a shit Literally the reason this movie came out at all Was because Warner Brothers realized They didn't have a 10 pole movie for 98 And they're like I don't know

Lethal Weapon 4 You know what I mean? Because this, it goes back to your Your theory about the law About showing numbers Yes Like four is the number That is a Rubicon

It's hard to pass that fucker That's I was thinking about Steve's sequel legislation all while watching this movie because you see the four pop up multiple times and I was just like oh Steve's right I don't need a four of anything

and that's what Fast and Furious did really a lot of work to evade you remembering how I mean that's a creative accounting you know what I mean but they even occasionally included the number sure and you still didn't give a shit

no because it was hidden inside a word fate because they were changing it a little bit each time just a quick FYI if you want to know what that my legislation is you should check out our Jurassic World episode which is only on Patreon that's the end of the plug oh Justin from the internet ticket Ransom was actually 1996 really okay but he plays a dude named Tom Mullen

which is close enough to Mullet for me yeah so we start with this which I think is probably the most fun sequence of the movie the fire guy thing oh fake iron man yeah yeah I like this guy well this is sort of taken off the same thing that he just taken off of like that attack that one dude had like he had

like an M16 and the cop it took the cops forever to take him down because he had some iron man like was it was this based on a true story yeah yeah kind of sort of it looked a lot more janky than this guy this is the start of like okay now what would what fun adventures would Riggs and Mertag get into now that

you know society's progressing I don't know mass shootings now that they've gone full three stooges on us it's really stupid but I am thankful that in the first five minutes

we got a little bit of gay panic because I was missing it from the first three well you'll get it all over this movie well in all that is like the problem

with all these movies is that that shit is everywhere it is yeah and I miss Shane Black and all but it was also there too of course well he's just

he's just writing how men talk this is just men this is a men movie well it's like a father's day special this movie father's day Mel Gibson's got a cameo in that movie

oh does he really wow he's like a oh yeah yeah yeah he's a tattooing guy he's a tattoo artist well he's also in that new daddy's home sequel right yeah oh god yeah that is insufferable

they used a two man they used the two yo Mel that's a funny Boston accent you got there you're my dad or what what the fuck You're still my idol. Maybe even more so now.

You know that happened. You know that happened, by the way. I saw that movie Lethal Weapon Four, were you beating up all those Chinese people? Oh, God. Oh, man, I kind of got a stiffy from that. I beat off to that, Mel. No joking.

I jacked it. The biggest fucking crime in this movie, though, is right up front in the scene where we're forced to listen to fucking fire in the hole. A Gary Sharif. Rone era of fucking Van Halen. Are you kidding me? Jesus Christ.

Dick Donner brought that from home. He's going to break the house down. You put this in my cassette deck. They just filmed a cassette deck to get the audio for it. It might as well have Dick Donner be like, this one's for all the dads out there. I totally forgot it was in this movie and he puts, you see this dude put the tape like in the Walkman.

Because I guess like if you're doing a huge, flamethrower machine gun event like this, you are going to have a soundtrack to it. Do we think it's better that we don't know who this guy is or worse? Because I kind of want to know this guy's deal a little bit. I don't care. I'm glad he dies in a fireball. I mean, I would like the rest of the movie to tie into this. I would like it to just deal with this guy. Well, because the fourth script originally was supposed to be about neo-Nazi survivalists.

Really? That was the original pitch. Well, you can make that now. There's your lethal weapon five. And I could imagine that that's... Takes place at the Republican National Convention. Well, that's what's weird is that I think it's the second one.

It's either the first or the second one. It's, there's like all these anti-NRA jokes. Yeah, no, it's even... It's in this movie. It's in this movie, too. And there's, yeah, pro-choice messages all around. Like, these movies have problems, and this one especially, but they were...

This is like an era, it's like, we're so problematic, but we're trying. Yeah. They are trying. It's like, Riggs and Murtaugh are Democrats, really, you know? The Clinton Democrats, for sure. That's it. I wanted to fucking harp on that.

God damn Gary Sharon song. What else could be said? No, it was just one of those things where I forgot that it was in the movie, and he puts the tape in the Walkman and starts playing it. And I was like, you saw that guy put that tape in 20, six times. And I was like, fuck me, it's fire in the hole. God damn it.

Well, because the third movie, there's an original song by Sting, but like that kind of fits the mode of Eric Clapton fucking jazz saxophone jackoff. Do you need to retire the jazz saxophone in a big bad way? I don't know. But like this, but this, but compared to like fucking third level Van Halen, it really does not fit at all. The second movie ends with George Harris. This movie also at the tail end of the credits, if you can suffer through all of why can't we be friends, has that Eric Clapton song, I don't know what the fuck is going on with this thing. It's like a, he's using a drum machine and there's all sorts of shit. By the way, I just remember about that first movie. No, fuck that movie for ending the end credits of Lethal Weapon has a song called Lethal Weapon. Is that a song? Yes, it does it? Is it like a rap song? I don't think so, but they definitely. It's like a

Clazzi Ballet. I don't know how to subscribe it. I'm a lethal weapon, baby. You're a lethal weapon, and she's a lethal weapon, and I'm a lethal weapon, too. The chorus is like three times lethal weapon. It keeps, like, you hear it like 50 times in the end credits. You once, twice, three times a lethal weapon. Oh, man. Lethal weapon in red.

you know what is with the name lethal weapon i mean isn't a weapon already lethal in the first movie he says it oh really glover is like well we better classify you because he like reads over like uh gibson's impressive resume right well we should classify you as a lethal weapon so mertog's just stupid yeah he's just kind of giving him shit i guess uh yeah so i mean this happens it kind of comes to nothing there is this really stupid part wherein to distract him. Danny Glover takes off all of his clothes. Looks great, by the way. Let me tell you, he looks way better than Mel Gibson in the movie. In the third movie, there's all these girdle jokes about Murtax. Yeah. So. Well, that's like I don't get to like,

that's a go to like a guy's getting old. I think I read somewhere on the trivia on the Tribune that like they didn't want to show that he was in good shape. Because he's supposed to be old and Schlobby. I mean, he's always been, he looks great in all these movies. Yeah, he does. Let me remind everybody out there of his fucking fantastic buns and Predator too. Oh, dude, he could bench press the Predator in that movie. The fucking

backseat of those khakis are hanging on for dear life. He's also Danny Glove is also better than Mel Gibson in all these movies. Oh, God. Because he's better at everything than Bill Gibson. And he does, so

he does cluck like a chicken and then like he shoots the guy, we get a Willowellum scream and then he... You need it. Also, letting you know firmly that you're not watching a real movie. Exactly. Before that strip down happens, though, we get the reveal that, one, because they're doing like, who's going to distract the dude and run out in the hail of gunfire and whatnot. And Mel Gibson's like, oh, I'll do it.

And Murta's like, no, you can't. You're going to be a father. Lorna's pregnant. She didn't want to tell you. And then he's like, well, you can't go out there because you're, you're going to your daughter's pregnant, you're going to be a grandfather. And it's like that same like hokey, we're joking around

while bullets rained down upon us. But if you are going out there, get naked and put this piece of celery up your ass. Yeah. This is McGruber. It was one step away from a gruber joke for sure. And it's just, it's silly. And I mean, it kind of keeps coming up in the movie like that says,

like for some reason, somebody snapped a pick of this? I don't know how. It was major news in L.A. Some journalist jumped up and took a picture of it. Old man in underwear and rainstorm stops crime. Old man, grassy ain't what she used to be. But there is a thing that does sort of a, let's call it a traditional mindset that plays throughout one particular issue in the movie.

When Mel Gibson tells Danny Glover that he's going to be a grandfather, Danny Glover's response is that his daughter can't be pregnant because she's not married. Oh, right. And that just fucking dittles throughout this movie. Like, oh, we cannot possibly, as if it's the first fuck time in human history, an unwed woman gave birth.

But that's the other part of it too, is Riggs and Lorna there are also battling that thing of like, should we get married, shouldn't we get married? Marriage and family is the theme of the movie. They say they've never had the discussion. That is the most ludicrous thing I've ever heard in my life. They're both entering their 50s. Hold on a second.

Melkitt Riggs is fun with his buddy Murtog, but you don't know what it's like behind that closed door at night, man. That dude is a lethal weapon. He's probably an asshole. He's Michael Shannon in the shape of water. He wanted to eat a bullet. Dude, this guy's intense. Yeah, that's true.

Let's not forget how weird that scene is. Yeah, he's going to make his, you know, he's going to make anyone. So, but even so, I believe he's been telling his opinion on having kids and marriage quite often. Yeah. So they have talked about it. Yeah, I mean, it just makes sense. But it's also, no, but it's not because, like, he loves the freewheeling, whatever lifestyle. Because his wife was murdered in that other movie.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We cut to almost nine months later. Man, text jokes like that. Shut up. Just tell me when the movie is. Better movie, by the way, National Lampoon's Loaded Weapon One. Absolutely.

Yeah. Without question. I thought you were going to pitch Joe Pesci Shark Hunter. Is that... Wait, is that a real movie? Does sci-fi do that? Get back here, you stupid little

motherfucking shark. Wait, is this the fucking movie Scorsese's doing for Netflix? Yeah, dude, the shark is actually called the Irishman. It's Jimmy Hoff. I'm going to get that fucking Irish prick. You've been fucking Irish prick. Swimming around everywhere. I never go to fucking sleep.

Close your eyes. Just do it already. God. Dude, Joe Pesci in this movie, I just wanted to throw myself in the river. We cut to Murtaugh's boat. It's Riggs, Murtaugh, and Joe Pesci because they're like buddies. And they've caught this shark, I guess. right? I need to see that thing

brought on board but it's just like we're playing for comedy it's like what are we going to do with this shark everybody and Joe Pesci's like he is just incessantly incessantly bitching through this whole movie and

riffing I don't remember Leo doing this in the other movies talking like a 14 year old dude his whole thing in this movie is whatever whatever whatever, and then two unsolicited talk to the hand, okay?

Talk to the hand, okay? All right? Talk to the hand. Talk to my fucking ticket stub for going to see this movie. I think that is new for this movie. He does a lot of the stammering, but I don't remember I remember doing a whatever or... He's much, like, he's more punchy in the second one. Like, it's kind of fun. They're actually trying to do a Three Stooges like relationship. Oh, they all get stuck in a doorway? I mean, it's, yeah, I mean, it's not.

great. It's never great. It's the problem with the second movie. You made that fucking Farley, brother. There's three stooges movie with Danny Glover Mel Gibson and Joe Pesci. I am buying a ticket. We would still be talking about it to this day. By the way, in that

third movie, Joe Pesci has bleach blonde hair. Yes, he does. Settling as fuck. And I think they had the audacity to put that on like the VHS cover. Oh, yeah. He's like three of them. He's picking up like a gremlin. Oh, that's what it is. You're totally he should be in a diaper

this whole movie I'm sorry whatever whatever change my napie whatever change my nap I made a boo-boo

okay okay I made a boo-boo especially the we'll forget to the little rascals horses shit he pulls at the end oh

oh it's the end this series by the way we ended on that but so he's like yeah he's like around he wasn't actually even supposed to be in this movie

like you they just got him like last minute. Oh man scene one in exterior the cemetery. Leo's funeral. No one is in attendance. Cut to Riggs is

pissing. Cut to Mertat's house with a fun barbecue going on. Riggs. Oh shit. That was today. Well, Merta, yes. Well, I guess it's too late for us to leave now. Might as well keep having this great barbecue.

Hey, do you want to look up when the cemetery closes? You know what? Never mind. You know what? We're good. Murta changes his mind and does a cannonball. So did you get these brats from the grocery store or did you go to the deli? So, yeah.

The shark is on the deck and then boom, Mitch McConnell's boat comes through. So his family was implicated in some type of Chinese smuggling operation. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. something like that. I think it was his father-in-law. Oh, Elaine Chow's father? A father, I think. Oh, really? Yeah. Like a bunch of cocaine in like a tanker. That's why Blankenship was called him

cocaine Mitch. Oh, man. I would so much rather hang out with cocaine Mitch than Mitch McConnell. Absolutely. Cocaine Mitch is a good time. If you do, if Mitch McConnell does cocaine, his face looks normal. I mean, I could find a guy named Mitch who probably definitely would sell you some cocaine. Oh, yeah, so this Chinese ship comes through... The movie shows up. Exactly.

Like, 25 minutes in. Somehow they don't see this boat coming. I love that. They're arguing with jaws. No, I think it had a cloaking device on. It had a cling-on cloaking device. Thank you. Because it's as big as a Star Destroyer.

Whatever. Smile, you son of a bitch. Whatever. So immediately, a hail of gunfire rains down on them. There's a bunch of like exploding fuel barrels for whatever reason. One of them launches straight through Danny Glover's boat. I really feel like they had whatever the set pieces they wanted written out or at least like on index cards and the rest of the movie

just sort of happened. Yeah, it was a card that it was like they had a whole column of them and it was like the column was called Wouldn't it be cool if? And then it was just all these different action ideas. Fire guy, boat thing. Yeah. House on the road. And then they wrote this fucking terrible story around it. Housefire. The whole movie doesn't make sense. No, it does. Just a minute to minutes.

So Mel Gibson shoots these guys that suddenly start shooting upon their boat. Yes. There's explosions as we said. He takes out like half their crew, of course. We start doing karate immediately because we're Chinese. Yeah. Okay. Well, shouldn't it be kung fu then?

But anyway. And then we reveal a human trafficking like subplata. Yes. Chris Ludacris Bridges opens up a car and wouldn't you know it? Don Cheetos not a voiceover. It says isn't that shit ludicrous?

And that end of the movie crash and then it wins an Academy Award? Riggs is just like oh thank God I had my invisible cape on or my invincibility cape. Actually, if I got ludicrous in this I'd be much happier, honestly. He would cut through some of this bullshit.

Do you think Paul Haggard? had to give his Academy Award back to Scientology after he left Scientology, because they certainly greased the wheels. No way that movie wins. Yeah. They've been greasing the wheels forever, man. Well, then they melted down to help build the spaceship. The SS Zinu. And yeah, I mean, like, so this all, it's a big action sequence.

We do find all these people. Chris Rock shows up in this movie. Oh, Jesus. So we get a bunch of. the Chinese refugees like off the boat and then Danny Glover finds like a secret stash of additional Chinese people. Right. But dude

this is so weird because this is like... There's some in the back still. There's some good ones in the back. I got the good Chinese in the back. Keep going. It's a weird... And I like Chris Rock. I like Chris Rock. I like Chris Rock quite a bit. He's doing a thing

in this movie that movie writers and directors have stand-ups do a lot. It's like he was called to do the Golden Globes and wrote all the jokes, but then lost the gig. He's doing pattern material. Yeah. He's doing bad, fake stand-up comedy material. And that's like, it's a holdover from the 80s, but also like a lot of like sitcoms in the 90s had the shit too. It's like, put a stand-up in and the acting they'll do is just the bit. Yeah. And he's doing a bit and it's terrible. But in this scene specifically, he's supposed to be like upset that there's all these like murdered people on the beach and whatever and he's like

quote unquote acting his way through this and like screaming and being dramatic this is why this you know when when I was saying about this today there's that TV show now and I'm like why would they make a TV show about lethal weapon then I go back and watch these and I'm like this should have always been a television show yeah you know you just have because this entire series is like sitcom banter yes and then like great action sequences and saxophones all over the place. Like, I do, right, get this shit. This is like Miami Vice. Late, late period. But I don't know, I like Shane Black's, like, voice on the big screen. Like, the first two, I wish it ended after two. Did he stop writing them after two? Yes, after two, he was done. He's got nothing to do with this movie. And he had nothing to do with three. That I knew. I think he might have had, like, a story credit on three, maybe. So he came up with the idea that a cop would be taking confiscated guns and selling them back onto the streets, maybe? Cop killers, yeah. Yeah. Oh. That's what the. The third one's about.

And gang violence. And unfinished houses. I haven't seen any newer Chris Rock movies. Does he learn how to act or not so much? Because he doesn't know how to act a dogma either, which is one year later. Like, he's not good in that. I think he's really great in top five. Top five is great.

Okay. But I just watched the Netflix movie with him and Sandler. Yeah. Avoid it. Really? A lot of people were saying that that was pretty okay. They're lying to you. And that's okay.

Like, I get it. What's that called Chris Gavin? The Week of? The Week of, yeah. Really not good. Must miss. Yes. On Cabins must miss list.

A lot of late Sandler, weirdly. He's good in, he's good in, yeah, top five. It's not acting, but his new, no, he is acting in that movie. I'm saying, what's not acting is his new special, Tambourine is really good. Okay. Oh, I haven't seen it yet. Directed by Bo Burnham, too. I thought you were going to say Bo Bridges.

No, he had not a thing to do with it. I was about to. It doesn't involve Chris Christopherson from now. Well, I've always been a fan of Chris's work, so I figured I'd direct this Netflix 60 Miniter. You said how much he loved the... Descendants? Yes. There you go, folks.

We should go on password. Steve, what's great about you and me is we finish each other's... Sentences. Oh. Yeah. How about that? That's chemistry. You know what?

I'm impressed. Color me impressed. You should. be. Sounds like someone's jealous. Chris. Chris Rock's whole bit in this movie is he's trying to impress Danny Glover because he's actually secretly married.

No, see. Doesn't go the other way. So much for that fucking camaraderie. That failed quickly. We'll get it back. We'll get it back. Just a mulligan. Mulligan.

But this opens the door for even better gay panic. Oh, God. Like, why is this guy being so nice to me? I think he's gaga, gaga, gay. It's so weird because the original concept was that the character was gay. So imagine how much worse it would have been if they actually executed that idea. Oh, wow, yeah, maybe. It's just, like, it's so bad.

And, like, I know it was in all of them, but this one specifically. It's bad. Because it's old man version of it. It's, uh, it's very much, like, I don't care. It's that thing which almost sounds nice at first. was like, I don't care what you do and then it's get the fuck out of here. You know what instead of, like, I don't care what you guys do.

It's like, do whatever makes you happy, that's fine. Just don't expect, just don't expect me to agree with it. Get off the local news. Yeah, exactly. Don't ever do it near another human being. He's awfully scared. He's really in a panic. Well, you know, Trish didn't, you know, help him get set up for that part of life.

He's very insecure. apparently. Poor Trish. Poor put-upon. She isn't, what, a line in this movie? She used to be a bigger character. I think because they hinges on that joke that she's Ebony, whatever. Ebony Clark, a romance novelist, which is very bizarre because I was watching these movies throughout. And I'm like, it's fucking crazy that Mertog has a palace. And like, he's got all this money. He's got kids up to Wazoo. Does he, but is, are they like affluent a novel? reports all those kids after

after high school well see all these movies just be like that's a cop salary that's just you know everyone has money the only other cop you have to compare to is a motherfucker that lives in a trailer on the beach who still lives on a trailer by the beach this fucking lunatic

here's the thing first of all if you have that kind of real estate you don't move it you just build shit on top of it if you notice there have been additions made to this trailer it's a bunch of trailer it's a ready player one trailer, like a triple stack and there's a deck. It's fucking crazy.

But when they have breakfast early on in the film and Renee Rousseau brings a plate of food out there or like plate of donuts and whatnot, I was like, that's living. That's fucking living. I'm sorry, that's living. You always smell like the beach, though. Everywhere you go, you go to a nice restaurant, you're smelling like the beach.

There's worse things to smell like. Well, sure. But still. Oh, do toilet and fucking mask that shit up a little bit, man. What I was trying to say before is that the Ebony Clark line in this movie tries to retcon his wealth. Yes. Oh, I see. Because I'm sure they got shit for it.

Like that was early internet days. They started hearing it. But also he has all these boats. I mean, he's got a fucking fleet in this franchise. He's got like a five bedroom house in Los Angeles County. He's building an addition. And he's got a boat in like every movie. It's like a different boat.

And what kind of, he named it after a code for lunchtime? Yeah, man. Yeah, like Code 7 or something. Well, it just relax and crack a beer. By the way, crack a beer at this breakfast scene we're talking about, there are two Heineken's on the table. I don't know if they're both for Mel Gibson or if she's drinking while pregnant or Renee Russo.

That's right. That's a good call, Steve. Lorna is drinking for two. Oh, that's true. Well, because she's like a hard scrabble, whatever, right? Was she a cop? Yes, she was internal affairs. Oh, that's right. That's how they meet.

Yeah, because the bad guy, The third movie was a crooked cop And their cases butted up against each other And Mel Gibson threw a hit like a shit fit At the idea that someone else would be involved in a case I really love when they're They're cleaning up this beach scene or whatever This is this movie felt

To me watching it last night Oddly sort of timely right now Because they really get into the whole immigration situation and fucking human trafficking and there's a fucking great line the guy from office space he gets in the car accident is just like he gives

the old like well then they're just going to sneak in we got a fucking pay to get him out of here all that shit right and then Danny Glover goes oh yeah well I guess your family was Native American and I was like oh fuck what are you trying to address in this movie Danny Glover, even though he's L-A-P-D in this, he still wants to abolish ICE.

I know it didn't exist yet, but he would want to abolish ICE, and that's awesome. And he, I mean, they always put that stuff in all of these movies, two,

three, and four alive. Yeah, that's what it's weird about it. It's like, it's, this series is kind of uniquely progressive in certain areas,

but then you hit like a, like a sharp, jut-in-out piece of not-appropriate. Of homophobia. Homophobia, it really had problem shaking that one. Or any of, on all of the Asian jokes

Riggs is making throughout this entire movie. This is unbelievable. We started off right here in this kitchen scene when she's like, you didn't come home last night. And he goes, sorry, sorry, honey, bad Chinese. It's a food poisoning joke,

but also he's talking about Chinese bad guys. Daddy's murdered in the night. So it's funny twice. Yes. Do you think when she's making breakfast for him. She's like, oh, he killed a lot of Chinese guys last night. Okay. Yeah, probably. My husband's just gleefully joking about

murdering people. Let's whisk these eggs. Not going to bother explaining that any further. When does Reggie, my physical trainer, get here? I think that's what the point of lethal weapon is, the whole arc of it, is that that is his cure for suicide. Because in the first of me,

he wants to kill himself. No, is murder. The only one. He turns the gun around, my friend, to every one else. Because God took away the only woman he cared about. Sorry, Lorna or whatever his name is. And now he has to like replenish hell with souls or something. What's the wife's name is Vicky? I think so.

That sounds right. They visit her grave at the end of this. She's brought up in all these movies. But she's, you see her alive in the first movie. No, no, she's dead. She's dead the whole time? You get a picture. That's all you.

Basically, yeah. It opens like his secret. of opening is like with a gun in his crotch and he's about to pull it to his head. What am I thinking of then? Is there a girlfriend that's killed in the second one? The second one he does, his girlfriend gets killed. But in the first movie, the first

movie, this whole franchise opens with a suicide of that lady who's coked up and jumps off the bridge. That's right. Or jumps off the building. Yes. Who do you think likes that Christmas Moore, Shane Black or Tim Burton? I'm going to say Tim Burton. Tim Burton, but in an unhealthy way. Shane Black loves Christmas? He's got a casual

love of it's a cool like cool man yeah set that movie at christmas he likes it's fine iron man three can be at christmas whatever fuck it just weirdly got a very good home life he actually likes being home for this versus Tim Burton jerks off on Christmas I think that's yeah see Tim Burton's only got two

holidays that he like fucks around with Flag Day and Christmas I was gonna say Halloween oh yeah that makes sure I think he's just like cool with all holidays oh yeah he veers Christmas but he's cool with all holidays He's like, celebrate what you want, man. I personally love Christmas.

Do what you're going to do. Welcome to my Christmas party. Oh, did you ever see black Christmas lights before? Here they are. Do you like me? I'm in this crib like the penguin. Oh, ew, ew. Isn't it weird and interesting that like, what if like Christmas was like Halloween, man?

Hey, Paul Rubin, why don't you rock me the bed? Oh, no. Has anyone, because I've avoided it. because I feel like I'm going to get freaked out. Does anyone watch that Dumbo trailer? I did. Oh, God. It does not look good.

It's terrible because it's just like a big CGI fat thing and a bunch of hay. Yeah, I know Danny DeVito's in the movie. Oh, man. It's like the monster. They reveal him that way and then they pan over and they reveal the elephant the same way. That trailer is like nothing, though. It's just like a tent and you go into it and it's like, oh, look at this. It's a reveal of what the design looks.

looks like. That's all it is. It's just like hey, look, this is what it looks like. Absolutely garbage. Someone hilariously pointed out on Twitter that every time you get Danny DeVito working with Tim Burton, a huge top hat's involved. Oh, yes. I like that. I like to think that that's totally intentional.

So we go back to the station and apparently and this is something that gets dropped like everything gets dropped because we're just having so much fun in this movie. Too much fun to pay attention. Riggs and Murtax get promoted to be captains on some technicality because, A, the department cannot insure them anymore.

B, they can't get fired and C, there's no lieutenant slots open. Excuse me. It's because they're awesome. Oh, okay. Sorry. My apologies. So they explained this whole scenario, which I guess makes sense you wouldn't want these guys on the streets anymore. Yes.

And then they completely ignore it whatsoever. Take the biggest case on the streets. Why isn't it just desk duty? That's what it's supposed to be. You're a captain? You're supposed to delegate or whatever? And or like, and then this other captain's given him more gruff. He's like, hey, why didn't I promote yous to?

Blah, blah, blah, blah. Never happens. No. They just go, oh, my captain, my captain. And then everyone at the department applaudsads them getting this bullshit promotion. I think before he told Riggs and Murtaugh what the deal was, that captain sent like an inner office memo around that was like, by the way. We gave him this bullshit promotion. You got to act like it's super cool.

so they think it's super cool. Because everybody has heard about this shit from the second they leave the captain's office. Once we take away all the focus from the chemistry and the mechanics of the police department, he becomes their cheerleader. And the third one, he's just like, when Mel Gibson gets pissed off at IA,

he's like, yeah, Mel Gibson, you're right. Dude, I think the biggest example of why we shouldn't have made this movie is the attitude of the dude playing the captain. This guy I like, he's in all these movies, he's in a ton of shit. When he has to have this first scene, the delivery, and this was a line from the trailer, I remember it, but when he's like, when he says they're promoting you, it's just, they're promoting you. And it's not the character being tired of the shenanigans. And is this actor being like, no, this is a four. Fuck this.

Yes, I need the money, but this is a four. Fuck it. It's insane. They're promoting you. So they run afoul. We do meet Jet Lee, who's in this movie. He's the best part. Hands down.

Who is like... I believe I read right this is his first American movie. Feet up. Because he kicks a lot. Oh, I thought that was the Kurt Russell move. I think you're right about that. Because I remember the only good thing about this was me finding out about Jet Lee

and then finding about Sue Hark movie. Yeah, you know what? This movie functioned for me as a true. trailer for The One, which I saw in theaters. So did I. Stay tuned. Dude, he picks a motorcycle up and hits another one of himself with the motorcycle one hand. See, I want to do it as an episode, but it might be a great movie.

It just might be a great movie. First of two times, he faces off with Jason Statham. Oh, yeah. Isn't he like a time cop in that thing? He's one of the time. It's a dimensional cop. Yeah, it's him in Delroy Lindo. Oh, man.

back when they let Dale Roy Lindo in movies. I wish that still happened. You know like how Universal is trying to do the dark universe? They should do like... Are they still? No, they're not. They gave up on it. Okay, then they gave up on it.

Whatever. I'm not here to talk... They did with three tries. I'm not here to talk about the dark universe today, but I'm suggesting another cinematic universe where you get all these fucking space cops, time cops, dimensional cops, R-I-P-D cops. Yeah, oh, I see.

You know, like, yeah. Funny cops or something? It's just called... It's just called Hellraiser's. You know what the thing about that is, is that none of those were successful. I know, but hear me out. If you had all of them in one movie, would you buy a ticket? Absolutely.

Sure. Can I tell you, I finally watched The Mummy with Tom Cruise? It's bad news. You know what the fucking absolute slam dunk best part of that movie was? When I fell asleep to it? The nap I took about 30 minutes in, that lasted for like 45 minutes. something about that movie that is so weird because I had the exact same experience.

Dude, it just lulls you right to sleep. There's some, like, signal they're putting into that movie. Like, I think what it was was Russell Crow comes out as Henry Jekyll. Who looked like he got into the extra mutton. Yeah. And he just goes, good-day, and I fucking

fell asleep. I was great. Destroyer of belts. He's just mutton now. He's just all Martin. He's got a stupid face change like in the winter's tale. I got to tell you, man, that nice

guys, which I did see on a plane and rules is hard. I really like it. That's a, that's a lethal weapon movie. It's because Shane Black, you know what I mean? Like, that's, you look at that and you look at it. It's probably better than any of them. It is. It is. It's 100%. Same thing with the other one,

the Kiss Kisses, bang, bang. Those are all lethal weapons. Also, Iron Man 3, baby. Iron Man 3, the third act of that movie where he loses the Iron Man suit, and it's him and Cheatel running around that boat with nothing but guns, it turns into, that's what, one of the genius parts about that movie is it turns into a secret lethal weapon movie and it's awesome. It's a Shane Black movie in the middle of a Marvel, in the Marvel, like, no director stamp or writer's stamp thing. Yeah, it's, it's, he has the strongest stamp of any of those movies. Him and Googler. So, I hope the Predator is good. I really wanted to be good. I've been avoiding trail.

You should see the trailer. The trailer looks kind of exciting. It's kind of exciting. It was one of those things. The first one came out and it was like this is a bad trailer. And then there was a second one. And the headline I saw was like the second trailer for the predator or whatever looks really good. Well, because it opens on the line, which means I'm getting too old for this shit.

The predator himself is getting a little too old. That's interesting. That's why he's got that bomb on his wrist in case he gets really too old. Like that's the thing is if I had a bomb on my wrist, and it's like the second I can't go to the bathroom by myself. We're going to light it up. My last shit. I'm going to light a match now by blowing up the building.

So they kind of get on the case of Jet Lee and this other guy, Uncle Benny. Of course, Uncle Benny. Who's actually, I like this guy too. I actually like the villains in the movie if they gave them something to do in a plot to operate. No, no, they have to be babies too. You have to remember that. Oh, my God. We'll get to the dental sequence. Oh, God. I don't even know if I'm prepared to talk about it, but I'll do my best. So they kind of, the first scene, they go to Uncle Benny's place to sort of, you know, your standard cop, we're pushing people around. We want to know what's going on. A little too much. A little, a lot too much.

Kind of what lethal weapon is. But also, it's a weird, like, you can see Murtaugh like just giving up on life in this scene. Oh, God. Because... That was actually Danny Glover giving up. Riggs is like

kind of getting into it with all these dudes. He's like talking shit to Jetley. Is this where he calls Jet Lee enter the drag queen? It is. It absolutely is.

Because why is that because he's got this uneven rat tail going on? I think it's because a fucking 50 year old father in fucking Ohio will think it's hilarious. That's true.

That's right. But he's like kind of pushing everybody around and Mertah's like Riggs, no insurance. Ah, fuck it. Oh, yeah, because basically what he does is he pulls the fire alarm. He pulls the fire alarm. He smashes a window.

This dude's got like a two-way mirror in a Chinese restaurant. That spells. And he says, call the cops, which is like, you know, you're a corrupt cop right now. Like, literally, you're honestly... He's been a corrupt cop for a while now. I think from number one, he's been a corrupt cop. But this kind of dude, though, in his mind, the only kind of corrupt cop is someone on the take. Yeah, exactly.

It's all money. But, like, you, so you went into... an Asian run business, harassed them about their nationality, and roughed it up a bit and said called the cops. That sounds like not such a great guy on paper. This is a nice Chinese restaurant you have here. Would be a shame if something happened to it. Exactly. Well, that's his go-to thing, man. That's his charm. He's an antagonistic piece of shit. Then they get into a foot chase with these other two guys. Chris Rock shows up. They're all doing stuff. This is when like Chris Rock and it's just, it's a weird line. Like it's a Chris.

Rock like he's cursing. And that's what he does. He's like, freeze you Chinese motherfucker. And I'm like, whoa, whoa, what is this movie? Which is amazing because he's chasing him on foot through L.A. Chinatown. So all these people are like, am I the Chinese motherfucker? Should I freeze? Or should everyone freeze? It'd be like a flash mob. There's a great line right here though. Like when they leave the fucking restaurant office, Jet Lee, to no one, just goes, in Hong Kong you would already be dead

and I'm like Can someone buy that dude a plane ticket? Can Riggs get on a plane right now? Can we just get footage of him doing and saying things?

And then Riggs they catch the guy Riggs is like hanging from a building this is also my lord this is one of the worst elements of this movie

it ends here thank God but through this whole chase scene leading up to Riggs hanging off the the roof of this building, we're doing a mashup

of like your standard beloved, like, lethal weapon blues guitar score with like Chinese like xylophone shit. And we're just putting it together. We're putting it together, my brothers. It is reinvent

the wheel. The location is like another character, right? Yeah, you just get immersed in it. But this is another sequence of like, in all these movies, it's just like, Riggs just happens to live. He just happens to live. He's always...

He's domino. He's domino before domino. Yeah. This is awesome, though, because it's one of my greatest fantasies is I go to, like, a carnival, and there's a huge, like, set up there, like a game he can play. It's, like, three shots for a dollar,

and it's a dunk a racist in a dumpster. Because fucking Riggs just falls from this roof. They, like, move this dumpster over, and it's just Mel Gibson falling in garbage. Yes. I really like that. I wish it was messier. I want it like a stuff that smears on a little bit.

Or like a banana peel on his head when he comes out. That's fine. All glass. You know, like recycling bin. It was a bunch of really long like xenon bulbs and he fucking falls on it. Oh my God. That hurts so much.

Dude, it would be great. It would be like something out of fucking suspirium. And then he inhales all the fucking like glass dust. Oh, yeah. Oh, yes. And his lungs just start bleating. eating internally. I'd love it.

The dumpster was the lethal weapon in this movie. And then for his heroic efforts, like trying to like keep people safe and whatnot, but he got this horrible lung disease, the federal government fucking cuts off his health insurance anyway. Oh, absolutely. That's what they do. That's what will happen.

Every time. Oh, and then Jet Lee kills this dude. Oh, yes. Who's like the, he was the captain of the boat. And like the heat was on. And he fucking, this dude. dude like was like talking out of school or what had he like

he gave information. He failed him. That's like kind of the overall. But he also they I think it's because like they're on to him or something and Jet Lee like spots this immediately and murders this guy. It's like it's not a rosary but it's prayer beats. It's prayer beats. Yeah

and like he pulls it's kind of cool man he like pulls it's like a Johnny Neumonic except for it's not a laser. Oh man that was a cool device I like that. Dude lethal weapon in the future. That's what we need. They could do a cyberpunk movie like that right if someone really tried.

Like Johnny DeMonna could have been something. Anyway. When Riggs is about to fall off the thing into the dumpster, he like sees the dumpster that they bring over. And it's a really awesome rare in, especially like from the 90s on, rare

Mel Gibson Australian accent coming out. Because he's like, couldn't you find one that was smaller? Yeah. What did you just say? Man, that first movie, You think Gervry Nott, I don't want to eat a bullet. Boy!

Dude, in all these movies, it's slipping. It's slipping. It's coming and going. It was a rare slip in 98, though, man. I was happy to have caught it. So, yeah, I mean, kind of... By the way, Danny Glover has taken this family called the Hongs into his home. And, like, basically, like, this is the secret Chinese compartment that he takes.

Right. And it's like, it's, it's this end game. Like, like, you're just taking a family? There's a bullshit line where he goes, where he goes, oh, you know, they're like modern day slaves and no one ever helped my ancestors. And no one like presses it or raises it. It's just like, that's the line. Keep moving, movie. Well, if you are Martin Riggs or Lorna, whatever.

Sure. You're not the one to question Danny Glover's motivations about this. great point you just go uh-huh yeah but it's there is a line here where Mel Gibson's like oh there's a Chinese guy in the kitchen you're like oh Jesus and there's like 10 people in this kitchen listen they are cooking for people they are just putting it out there my how easy that was Murtaugh family did they pay for those groceries hey I just got to make I could just make a call on you at any time I'm this is my murk-time voice. It sounds nothing like

Oh, you want to see your uncle? Oh, yeah, I bet you want to see your uncle. Well, my garden's got a lot of weeds in it. Just saying, I've been thinking lately about putting a new pool in. Here's a shovel hog.

Hey, you like this tequila? Want this watch that I'll tell you was my father's? We could do this all the time. I actually think that's kind of a nice scene where he splits some tequila with Hong But I was like giving him your watch

He gives him the watch I mean it's only to identify him later Yeah of course he's like here in case you get murdered Here's my dad's watch Otherwise I couldn't identify you whatsoever But the weird part of it follows curse Please take this for me It's a cursed watch

Oh good good he's taking it Now you and your family could leave because now... Trish, we can live again. Everyone I've given that watch to has been shot in the head. I tried to give it to Joe Pesci, but his wrist was too fat.

I said, put it down your neck. Just put it around your neck. It broke off. The watch didn't want him. Now to give it to someone else to spread the curse. Hey, Trish, that weird giant's going to chase someone else now. Oh my God, a giant.

What a good movie. That was It Follows. Remember the giant? The fucking beast man. Ebony Clark wrote what follows? It's kind of a sexy story if you think of it. Oh, it's a very sexy story. You know, sexy dangerous.

That's very in right now. Like 50 Shades of Grey, right? Oh, yeah. That's got like a sex demon or something. That's my pen name actually is sexy dangerous. That's your rap name. Sexy Dangerous. So basically that's sexy dangerous.

that scene. The weird thing about this is the Hong's number about like eight people. Yeah. It's the dad, this cute little kid that has a lot of screen time. Ping. Ping. They were trying to pass the franchise off to Ping, I suspect. I think so. And then like a bunch of other people that

disappear throughout the movie because basically like the next sort of movement is we go back to Danny Glover's house and all the hongs are gone and kidnapped by Jet Lee they were. Jet Lee has got Renee Rousseau, the daughter,

and a bunch of other people hostage, and this is another action scene. What's his daughter's name? Leanne? Leanne. My favorite thing is, like, Jet Lee has not been in this movie. This movie has been going on for an hour. Oh, Rian.

Yeah, you're right. And, like, Mel Gibson shows up and, like, Jet Lee's slow claps. I'm like, you don't know who this guy is. Like, you have no idea what's going on. What are you slow clapping at at all? Yeah. He's like, oh, you put it together, because I didn't.

But he basically he batmans them which is he ties them up in a burning building. And Ping saves the day, cuts them loose. Ping gives a toast says, you know,

all my sham friends hangers on. Why don't you like get out of here? And then before Jet Lee leaves, he goes, well, the apple certainly is fall far from the tree.

Man, that old guy in that movie fuck that prick. Dude, that guy is pissed off. He really is. But you know what? Just leave.

The wrong wing guy. shot good night just go just everyone get out it's a great secret to that movie can I tell you how many times like throughout college I thought about doing that to cancel a house party

oh that's a great idea does everybody go home oh take all your fucking phony smiles and your fake fucking bad beer and get out I kind of wish like those movies were more franchisee because that should happen in every movie kind of like there's always a setup and

Bruce Wayne has to do that there's like a guitar twang and then like everyone knows he's about tell off the party in a fake drunken do I have to do it again don't you know by now let's put a smile on the you know what to all my oh shit he's doing it again so they like they get out of the burning house and Riggs and Mertau immediately get in a car to chase down gently and this is like probably the biggest set piece in the movie. The most memorable for

sure. It's not bad. It was on one of those index cards. It's just like let's do that thing. The thing again. The same fucking thing. Let's do it again. Unfinished house but now it's on roller skates. What? Not rollers skates, but the

whole thing starts though with a fucking total Jason Vorty's move. because Murta's like, how are we going to get at them? We don't have any guns. And Riggs is like, don't worry, I'll handle it. So he gets in this like unfinished house that's on like a wide load car kind of a thing, his tractor trailer.

And the bad guys are driving alongside it. He just punches through this window like Jason Vorey's and grabs this dude out of the car. It's amazing. It's the best part of the movie. But fucking 15 minutes ago, I had to watch a scene where Mel Gibson's boxing with some kid. you're right and they have to like give each other a pep talk about how they're not too old for this shit but that's the thing is it much like the captain's thing it just gets dropped they should they're

like we should see him doing PCP like oh my god right like that's what's going on here I feel I mean this is more pathetic than a Seattle's commercial like it really is it's fucking disgusting or before every scene you get the uh all that jazz montage of him like taking a couple the pills and like kind of getting jazzed up for it it's show time folks etc yeah so it's like this

this big chase we're fucking hucking table legs at people and at this point Mel Gibson throws this guy out and he's like kind of holding on to the he's like riding surfing a table and it's a stunt man it's not CGI you know to this point

98 we're still like doing All these movies have great stunts. Yes. It's unbelievable that these characters would live, but they're doing the stunts. Sure. When Mel Gibson is supposed to be hanging off that building, though, it's fucking Joe Smith, the stunt double, like nobody's, but you could fucking see this dude's facial features. While he's surfing, it's this beefcake dude.

Yeah. Well, I think in the Chinatown chase, there's a guy running for him. Oh, for sure. And if I'm like, I don't know, the police commissioner, I'd call the other cat, I'm like, why is one of your captains surfing a table outside of a fucking house on the goddamn freeway? What is the, can they be fired or what? Rain these dudes in. That's your job.

Now you're fired. Fuck you. How the fuck do you not have at least one instance of the captain being like, please God, stop surfing tables? Because the chief is Mark Furman. He's in love. He's just like, oh wait, they're doing it again. Good. good chaos

terrorize those Asian people yeah good it's fine there is an insane moment here though and I think in like as they wrap up this sequence it's kind of like even too much for a lethal weapon movie

the two of them drive off a freeway into an office building oh whatever this is insane they are gunning it through this office floor, out the other side. Someone would get hurt. This is an active

office. This is not just an empty office like in true lies, which is fun. And that was a plane. It was a fucking plane. Jet plane. Or in like Die Hard where some of them their floors are unfinished. Sure. Yeah. You know, but this is like, people are dodging out of the way.

I need the like thunk, thunk, thunk. Just nailing people. So if someone hasn't watched this movie recently and is listening, they drive off the high into an office and drive through the office out another window and land onto the highway again nailing tables all throughout yeah it's like a fucking transformers movie like no no no and by the way they're not limping when they're leaving and either no at least the movie does have the good grace to acknowledge that the fucking tires would instantly explode because the gap like that's the end of the scene because they're like all right we're gonna get them and the car breaks down so it's at least kind of something I mean, I understand the, like, the lethargy of all this and the, like, how fucking distant everybody seems from it. Because, like, at this point, they must be on so many painkillers for all the fucking injuries they have sustained over these fucking movies alone. I don't even know what happens in between.

This franchise has gotten so tired. Steve just gave me a great idea that Justin introduced the Transformers into it. You know, like, think about your sequel rules of, like, this movie five, this movie. Like just mash up franchises. Yes. Fuck it. You're tired anyway. Put two ill-conceived properties together.

Die hard. Fucking, they have to do a case with fucking, what's his asshole name? Where after you, Mr. Murta, you've destroyed many of our boats. Those were my brothers. And then Bruce Willis blows up the jet one. What's it? Star Screamer. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. Like, it's just nonstop chaos. You got this beefcake chaos among. robo chaos. To rule the world, we must kill McClay. So kind of the last act of this movie, we find

out, by the way. Oh, yeah. So Jetly steals the Hongs, but we only see the dad from now. I don't know what happens to the rest of the Hongs. We're told at one point that they're fine. Yeah, question mark. Yeah, but I don't have any visual idea on that.

That kitchen had like eight people in it. What happened? It's only the two that they can use, because Mel Gibson gets to know what it's like to have a kid around. Yes. And then the dad hung like fucking, he gets to make Mertau sad and want to kill Jet Lee. Because they both have similar. It's like a mustache appreciation. Yeah, it is really.

That's a mighty fine mustache. You know, no, don't go back in that boat. Why do you come to my house? You know what? You know what? I'm going to go. We got a Polaroid upstairs. You just stay right there.

me if you want to let something off let something off but yeah so they're on the hunt and they realize that Uncle Benny may have some info oh no so it turns out here we go they find out Uncle Benny is indeed at the dentist this is after and I mean it's it's two Joe Pesci scenes back to back because they wind up using Joe Pesci for this the cell phone scene

the cell phone's bit it's just the two of the movie this movie has no prepat motion whatsoever But this movie stops dead for Joe Pesci and Chris Rock to riff on cell phone culture. It's a callback to the other movies where he's like, they fuck you on this. They fuck you on this. You know, it's just that. Yeah. But it's like a character of a character of a character at this point.

It's so rewound. But it ends with something that I think I was thinking the whole time. Chris Rock is like, why the fuck? With cell phones? He's like, why the fuck am I talking to you? And I was like, exactly. Just leave. Listen, Detective.

Butters. Exactly. Yeah, what a name. Totally. Well, he thinks he's a perp when he first meets him. He's a little racist to him. That's great. Well, yeah, he keeps calling him touchy, which Joe Pesci calls Chris Rock touchy, which is like that coded racist word of like white.

It's also what he calls his grandkids now. Whatever. Whatever. We use that word all the time. So he pretends that he's got a toothache that goes to the dentist as a distraction, an emergency. thing so that he that the dentist has to be pulled away from uh uncle benny yeah yeah and uh then martin and riggs can go in there and and harass this this guy this fucking like octogenarian crime boss this uncle benny dentist would know that this guy's tooth isn't

fucked up in a second yeah but they're in there doing the thing forever oh my god so they go into uncle benny's room he's in the chair it's riggs merton butters it's like three billboards for a little while. And then Uncle Benny puts the drill through Mel Gibson's thumb. Exactly like it. That movie has a better dentist scene than this one. Ranking dentist

scene? Oh my God. If we had a shitty website, we would have ranking the dentist scenes. Absolutely. You'd think it would be from the franchise, the dentist, but it's not. It's just dental film history. Although it does feature of still from

Nova Cain. A little shop of horror. with Marathon Man Secret Lives of Dentists A lot of good dentists Campbell Scott Yeah doesn't he even mustache in there No he gets rid of it He has it in the beginning

Yeah Wow I think that's a good movie I kind of like the movie I'll go on Reddorf Is awesome Have not seen it since the theatra But so we're huffing gas

Laughing gas Yeah And like they realize This is like worse Than the acting In Reefer Madness Like this is so bad Like stoned laughing is the worst.

It's uncomfortable. Yes. Like, listen, if you want to do this, like, get some real gas and fucking heft these dudes up, dude. You know what I mean? Like, let's just do it. Who gives a shit? It's all right. It'll wear off in a little bit.

Make it the only thing you have to do that day. Because it's, like, clearly, like, the act of somebody who doesn't want to, like, let anybody know that they've actually been high before. Yeah. It's just, it's a bad comedy sketch. Also, speaking of comedy sketches, was anyone else, I'm going to assume that I was alone in this, was anyone else thinking because we're in this particular dentist's office, was anyone thinking about the Mr. Show bit of the edited for television Goodfellas and the one Mother, Father,

Chinese dentist? You know, it's funny because I haven't watched that sketch in a long time. I kept saying Chinese dentist, oh, that's Motherfather Chinese. Mother father Chinese dentist. Oh, brilliant. so they get info out of Uncle Benny but they don't really know what it means he's talking about the forefathers and this

and the other thing but then everybody What? Yamimbi Oh right of course And then everybody is so fucking blazed right now It lets slip Yes That Chris Rock has indeed married Danny Glover's daughter Rehan knocked her up

It's a secret marriage It's insane like why are they married at all So we did Maybe that was Mel Gives I got a great idea for this scene Whatever the secret marriage He's gonna make it right Because it's part of that whole thing again

That through line of this movie is like She cannot have a baby exit her body Unless wedding vows have been said It's so dumb What are Chris Rock's parents invited Like what the fuck is going on? I need Mr. and Mrs. Butters It was down by a crick, and they, like, put, like, what was it?

It was like veils on each other and shit? Like, like, Scottish Weddings, boons? No, it was very, they called Jerry Orbach. They went inside a little hotel room, and Jerry Orbach came out a couple hours later. Without his eyes. Without his eyes. That might be a local joke, because in New York City and the subway, they used to have this ad about, like, Jerry Orbach's eyes. Yeah, he donated them.

They might be looking at you right now. She's got Jerry your box eyes. Fuck, she's a keeper. Oh, honey, I love when you stare at me with the glare of a 70-year-old, grizzled New York City detective. Something about the glint in your eye. Suddenly you're not making excuses about going out late with the boys. You make me feel like Sam Waterston in crimes and misdemeanors.

It's weird how your eyes can smoke cigar. I don't know. So I was making a bad dirty dancing joke because it was a secret, whatever. Whatever. It's not so great. Whatever. Whatever. Whatever. So. You know what? Talk to the hand. You know what? Talk to the hand. You know what? Talk to the hand. You know what Joe Pesci fucking go fly a kite? Get out of this movie. I just recalled another fucking ridiculous Joe Pesci line is. Oh, no. Well, it's kind of back when he mistakes Chris Rock for a perp in the back of the car. And Chris Rock's like going off and he's like, look at the badge, look at the gun, you raise this motherfucker, or whatever. And Joe Pesci's like, hey, it wasn't so easy growing up German Jew around here. I'm like, do not fucking play that, you tiny little man.

Fire up that flare. That's good. But there is the worst joke in the entire movie. The worst joke of the entire movie is because Joe Petch's a private eye and he's like catching a dog or something He's like, oh, I spray putting the dog It's great, don't worry about it, Riggs, don't worry, guys, I did it

I'm a cop like you, I'm a little boy, it's great Oh my God And then Mel Gibson's like Look, check out Ace Ventura Dush Detective Oh yeah Dush Detective Oh my God

I'm sorry, it's Dush Ventura Pet Detective I think that's it douche ventura. He still has a job that some people might have. That's just my dog barking at rude neighbors in the building. Douche Ventura when nature calls.

She didn't like the joke, man. She does not like that joke. She's smart. He's got another dumb joke around here because they're talking about the forefathers. And like they find these dudes and they're just triad members and Mel Gibson's like, oh look, it's the forefathers. Groucho, Chico,

Harpo and Focco. Farko! Yeah. Well, because like the last... That's from four, the dad's in the back. Yeah, some dude in Nebraska just went, Hap! Michael Shannon's dad?

Greg Shannon? Hey, Greg Shannon, nice to meet you. That's funny. I was a Mormon for a decade. We actually get to see a Chinese prison in this movie where these guys are extracted from because there's a corrupt general involved. now. And all the counterfeit

money that the movie has been making. Well, you don't even know that until... Yeah. You don't even know that until the hour... 90. It's pretty much 90 minutes flat counterfeit money is introduced.

And please, who could give a fuck? And at this point, Mr. Hong is brought up in front of his uncle who's the counterfeiter. And like it's that, what do you call it there? That Hank Scorpio bit of like, well, could you work any harder like because basically he's like well you're working pretty hard right now but here's

your uncle and he's like oh yeah and then he shoots him in the head and he's like i'll do that to the rest of your family collapses his tracheer or something yeah he super breaks that dude's neck which is cool it's not bad it's pretty cold-hearted and you did not expect that to happen to hong he's best buds with raj man but this gives roj and any interest in the third act of this movie i guess yeah uh for his buddy hong so basically like they call in this Chinese exposition expert who's like basically

oh this is Jetli's part of the triad and the triad's trying to get these people from the Crooked General the forefathers means the four heads of the triad Can I say I do like It's all in 38 seconds he says all this I forget if this is in the book

The famous book from the guy from adaptation Charlie Koff Robert McKee Robert McKee's book The Rule of Three Train crashes Oh yeah dude You're totally right Right, we should say earlier

there was a government official that was like getting paid off by Benny to get these people in. He's in Lost Highway. That's where I know him from. And then he gets hit by a train because Jet Lee's involved in pushing this dude in front of the tracks. I guess he's like a loose

end. He knows about the forefathers. He's very good at that. He's the landlord in Big Lobowski. Yes. Yes, he is. It's already the 10th, dude. I'm doing my cycle down at the local theater. It is near the NN. Outbreaker, though. My God, this fucking movie.

So basically, they have to go to this warehouse where this exchange is happening. And they don't call a SWAT team because? They have a death wish. I think that's pretty clear by now. They have a death wish throughout all these movies. And the third one, they go into a building with a bomb. And they're like, we're not waiting for the bomb squad.

whatever we do that. And of course, the building blows up because they're bumbling nimb-a-boops. Yes, that's the third one. The second one, they're in a deadly car race with the Coogaran guy. Yeah, that sounds right.

I never understand in these movies. So, like, basically, it's a handoff between the corrupt Chinese general and the triad. And everyone's got all these, like, M-16s or whatever. And, like, Mel Gibson starts showing up and, like, laughing and hooting and hollers.

He's honking the car driving up there. They would have been shot dead. Shot dead. You just, that car looks like Al Capone or Bonnie and Clyde, yes. Dude, he, as they're pulling up. Vivian, I've been at, they've gotten me on taxes, Vivian. Just like Al Capone. He pulls up to this doc, honking the horn doing shaving a haircut, too, bits.

Oh, good Lord. I actually wish Roger Rabbit had just busted out and just start dancing around. He should have been Sonny Corle-owned, man. Like, just everybody's doing it. It would have been so great. I was just paying the toll. Isn't that the law in this country? Oh, God.

Oh, God. Oils everywhere. It's not my fault. His dad wouldn't get in the cocaine business. Oh, also, I think, because Eric, when you got sidetracked a second ago, it was about the train murders. Oh, right. There's a thing where these.

Chinese gangsters try to push Mel Gibson and Renee Rousseau onto the tracks. And Ping. And we forget Ping. Blessed Ping is in the backseat. And then Riggs pulls some fancy driving and somehow manages, even though he's the car in the front, to pull the car from behind, forward onto the tracks. And this dude gets hit not once, but twice by trains. Doesn't die from the first train.

You survive. You see a first. You see him wake up. He's like, oh, God. And then another train's coming. He's like, no. And he explodes. Well, punk, you're probably thinking, have I been hit with two or four trains?

He can't possibly hit me with another train. Well, do you feel lucky, punk? Oh, this is a great idea. That's my cousin. Those fucking Transformers movies always knocked off shit. Get a gigantic transformer. are huge, that's dirty Harry and he shoots trains, actual

trains. Oh, wow, that'd be awesome. This here's a train killer. They had that giant Leonard Nimoy, so why not? Yeah, man. That's true. The only way to travel is Chevy. So Riggs,

by the way, tells this Chinese general that the money's counterfeit, and this dude starts shooting the four pops. Is this what he says, the famous line, Speaky English? Yes, he does. Adlib.

Hashtag adlib. Like, Mel. Hashtag great movie quotes. Yeah. Mel, that was the 40th take. Could you please stop saying speaky English? Dude, the fuck. It was 1998.

So this shootout starts going down. And of course, because this is lethal weapon, we've got to talk during all the shootouts. That's the whole movie. jib-jabbing out of each other. Oh, big time, dude. I open an email and lethal weapon comes out. Shummy horse shit, man.

Like, non-stop, just doing it. It's awful. And so here's where Riggs decides at this moment to be like, so are you on the take or what? And so Mertau's like, no, do you know Ebony Clark? And he's like, yeah, the writer, are you boinking her?

And he's like, no, I'm not boinking. her, Trish is Ebony Clark, to which Riggs is like, oh, well, then you are boinking her. See, because even Danny Glover, distinguished Danny Glover has to be a fucking baby for five minutes. Boinking, boinking. This is during a shootout. Dude, we're talking about fucking like the little rascals. Get Lee and Mel Gibson fight. Yeah, it's a great sequence.

There's, well, it starts at least as a two on one because Riggs and Mertow both are like, you know what, fuck it, we're not going to do this. Let's just leave it to other younger police officers to deal with this. These two guys who took the LAPD's free martial arts class versus Jet God damn Lee. Well, if he does a straight punch for four minutes, I'll be able to catch it and flip it. So then they go, yeah. The gag is like, ah, who are we kidding? Yeah.

And they get into this fight. It's fucking great. And he's beating the shit out of both these dudes. He beats the shit at him, L. Genson. until Mertog impales him. With rebar, which is amazing. Dude, a good old rebar impaling. And then Mill Gibson must have done some PCP, gets his Jason strength, and starts picking

him up by the rebar. Dude, yes, it's improbable, but also it's fucking cool, man. It is Jason Voorhe. It is. To the point of which they even fall into Crystal Lake here. And they're fighting underwater. And then, man, I love the fucking AK-47. just right there underwater

Mel Gibson grabs it and shoots gently underwater assassination not bad no and you got a lot of squibs down there too you really get him yeah he looks like he's smiling when he's dead though and then apparently

Riggs was supposed to die at the end of this one as well but then he didn't want to Mel Gibson has too much fun so they kind of he likes resurrection yeah basically that's why the whole concrete slab falls on him but then like Mertas saves them at the end and then we cut to Vicky's grave

right his wife's grave and he's like well babe you know it's been a crazy lethal weapon it's been four lethal weapons it's been one of the craziest lethal weapons to date I gotta say Viv this is one of my favorite lethal weapons Danny won't talk to me anymore

so I have to talk to you and he's like I don't know should I marry should I not marry or I love you still and then Joe Pesci comes out like hat and hand like excuse me mr gibson can i talk to you i'm only 63 years old it's like okay i i only want an ask oh excuse me mr gibson i don't want to be a bother in the movie i worked with martin scorsese you worked with peter we and then man he tells the set this story he tells is

cripplingly sad speaking of fucking the little rascals man this is fucking spanky and a half He's like, oh, I used to have this frog, and I used to ride around with it. And it was, you know, I used to kiss it every night, hoping it would, the gender thing would flip it. It would turn into a princess, which would be my mother. And I'm like, oh, fuck. It's with every line when just when you thought it was the saddest, most pathetic fucking thing you've ever heard in your life. He just keeps up into the end. I was already depressed when the only name he could think of was Froggy.

Oh, I know. I had a pet frog. His name was froggy. I was like, oh! He was riding a bike with this motherfucker. He jumped out of the bike basket, and Joe Pesci ran him over with the bike. And he's like, oh, and I killed my best friend. And, you know, I never really had a friend until you and the other guy, you and Danny Glover showed up.

Roger. Roger. You and Rod showed up. Oh, I guess there's, what, 50 years? between that part and the other part? How sad is that? Well, that's why I'm the way I am. He says, like, he loves the frog

and he, like, loves them differently, but they're still best friends or whatever. It's, like, trying to be like, you can marry another woman. I was so lonely. I would accept so much emotional abuse from you, too. Well, that's what's great. At one point, like, Riggs cuts him off,

and he's like, no, we treat you like shit. And he's like, no, no, no, it's okay. I don't... I don't care about getting kicked in the dick every day by you guys. I think of you like family. You're not my family. I don't know what you're talking. Too late.

This guy's over at Christmas. Too late, dude. Can I just sleep on your shitty couch and your little weird ramshackle house? I know I can't go to Roger's house. I would never imagine. Can I? Could you erect a couple more pieces of particle board and put an addition on your beach trailer? But before that happened.

We're reminded it's 1998, and a pager goes off. Oh, right. The pregnancy pager. The baby's happening. But he goes, you know, Vicki, you sent a weird angel, but I got the message. I'm going to marry a frog. Joe Pesci stars in the weirdest thing. It was what was made out of it.

And there's like, God makes all the angels. And this was left over. Oh, my God. You shoved together all the leftover parts. He's arguing with fucking St. Peter. Whatever, whatever. Fine. I'll go to Earth. Whatever. And he's in like a weird little cupid diaper. It's like so disgusting. Talk to the hand, Jesus. Talk to the hand. Whatever.

That's really rude to say to Jesus. By the way. You can look right through that dude's hand. Hey, Mary, you've been immaculately conceived. Talk to the hand. Talk to the hand. You're pregnant now. If Jesus did the talk to the hand, he could still hear it. It's just right through the whistling hands. That's right. The good old whistling hands Christ. So we go to the hospital. Has any franchise or TV show or anything been improved by the addition of a baby? Like, or somebody, I mean, like, naked gun. Oh, that baby was a punchline.

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Like, I mean, like, obviously things that have babies in them, like shows about babies and whatever. But you're talking about, like, there's a longstanding. Shows about babies. It's a longstanding property. And then they add a baby. Like how diehard adds Jai Courtney. Yeah, it's a bad move.

Ghostbusters 2 syndrome. Yeah, exactly. Oh, yeah. Yeah, so examples that, to answer Steve's question, it doesn't work. Ghostbusters 2, growing pains, didn't they have a kid? Yeah, the latter seasons of mad about you. Family ties, I believe a child was introduced. It's just, it's cousin Oliver on the Brady bunch.

Fuck that kid. Possibly alienation. What? The TV show, not the movie. It's been a while. So, like, now we're just doing baby shit. It's, oh, my God, we're on the hospital. The answer to your question is no.

It's a bad idea. It's always bad. Get at me at Twitter if you figure it out. But, oh, my God, we're running in the hospital. She's doing the old hospital gag. I'm a woman in labor, blah, bitty, blah, blah, blah. But she has to get married before it comes out, or it's going to be, like, stomped to death or taken by demons. Cursed, cursed.

Well, thank God. his boss is here to fucking help us out. Oh, fuck. That's the guy playing the rabbi. Oh, my God. Joe Pesci has to wrangle this guy and they do a quick, like, Jewish wedding ceremony. Mel Gibson's like, one of you? Yeah, I guess it'll do. It's the West Coast, Eric, so would he be, would the kid be named Sand? Would that be his surname? How does that work? I think it would be. For bastards? Yeah, it has to have to, yeah, definitely. It has to do something with the, the landscape. Okay. Yeah. So, Dust Hills, maybe. Palm Tree?

The name of the baby? I was thinking Lesser Gibson. John Palm Tree, by the way. I'd read those pulp novels. But yeah, yeah. So they do the thing and like Joe Pesci grabs a glass.

I'm still in the movie guys. Don't worry about it. It's kind of funny because he grabs it from an old man. It's like a piss glass. And the dude's like, it took me all day to fill that fucking thing up, you small piece of shit. Yeah.

Because this dude is just like kind of making fun of Joe Pesci's height the entire time. Oh, sure. So we do the glass dump. Mel Gibson is just holding in all the anti-Semitism by a thread like he's ready to pop. Well, he was, Donner was like, look, do not drink that day.

I know you drink every day. But on this, the only day, the last day of shooting, do not drink. We're trying to rehabilitate your image now before the other stuff happens. Before you go and do it again. Because it's going to break out. Are you a real one of them? Are you just

playing a rabbi because the time cops come and the dimensional cops come and they're like listen Mel quick do this do this rabbi ceremony weren't there stories before the big thing happened I had always heard

scrumblings so no yo Mel you got a raw deal in Hollywood you want to go play my dad yo Mel it's so fucking crazy because I call my girlfriend sugar tits too Mel you know you can tell me anything I would love to hear anything you have to say

So the end of this storied franchise Ends in a group picture There's two babies now because You know Uranta's daughter Yeah Has a kid Now he's a grandfather

Happens at the same time Which I need to see that like From the start of this sequence Because it's all Renee Russo And then they're like By the way Rianne also had the baby Or like when gently dies

He presses some button that makes like a sonar or something that makes all babies be born that was his grand device. Like now y'all baby will not have any health care because ever there's too many babies. It's a second baby boom. You thought we were

counterfeiters? That was just a cover. Yeah so they do this big picture. This is kind of my favorite shot of the movie. The captain. Oh, whatever. Whatever, whatever, whatever.

He comes in bearing gifts for the mothers, right? But this actor sachets into this delivery wing holding these bags of presents. Close your eyes. Imagine the person you hate the most at work. Now imagine how many days it would take you to get to that person's kid being born at the hospital. Yep. Yep.

You hate the, he's hated these people for fucking. years. And then for some bullshit reason, they take the captain badges and gives them back sergeant badges. I don't know why. Did that happen? Yeah. The insurance company pulled through even after all the destruction. So, hey, congratulations. You're demoted,

I guess. And there's also a line where it's like, oh, by the way, we gave the Hong's asylum, by the way. Yeah, it took a throwaway line. Like, they're fine. I think this is all because the chief had a two white wine lunch. And he just went on a spree. With a sashay like that,

checks out. It totally fucking checks out, man. The sauntering into this hospital room. It's awesome. And then we end with this fucking, what is this like a collage? Like a picture. Well, no, no, no, no. Excuse me. First of all. Are you all friends?

Says the doctor taking the picture. No. We're family. Why can't we be friends? Why can't we be friends? The movie can't stop. The movie, this franchise opened with a naked woman jumping off of building onto a car and ends with this baby nonsense.

They should throw that baby off the roof onto a car. It's like that's seen in Forest Gump. Wait, that happens in Forest Gump? Well, she almost doesn't. Oh, right, but it would be cool if she threw her baby down there. Jenny, get off of that ledge. Yeah, don't you remember Freebird, man. Oh, is that what's playing when she's out there?

But yeah, it's just that like, oh, yeah. And here's the thing that doesn't make. any sense unless and if this is true fine but the whole the whole idea here is like look at all these people that help make this movie we're all a family sure but unless all those people were working on the other movies these are just motherfuckers that got a job on lethal weapon four yes i i don't understand like the it should be all four movies that were it's most of the first this fourth movie and then a little bit of we get so we get some smattering of Three and two at least.

It's only with the actors. Okay. I think we might get the D.P.'s because Jan DeBant's last movie as a D.P. was Lethal Weapon 3. That's when I graduated from D.P. school. Well, you see that Richard got me speed, and I just had to do it. I just had to do it. I know you're working for the CIA. They wouldn't have you in the mafia. a lyric from that song.

That song is really one of our nation's worst songs. But I'll tell you what, dude, I couldn't remember which way the wind was blowing for these credits, and I was really paranoid it was going to be the fucking smash mouth cover. The color, the color, the color of your skin, don't matter to me. Yeah. And I'm fucking throwing up all over. Chris Cabin just reminded me of speed.

Now, that is a franchise that needs to collide with transform. Oh, my God. Of course. Vivian, I cannot go below 55 miles an hour. Vivian, I'm really tired. Now I'm a boat. Why isn't there a third speed movie? Let's just do it or reboot that franchise.

You could get, man, just get Sandy and Keanu back. They won't do it well. Oh, I know it's not going to be good. Point break broke me on this one. Oh, yeah. That's a good point. Well, no, you're talking about the remake, right? Yeah, yeah.

But like, don't remake any of these fucking 90s action movies. You're saying, get the old actors back. Yeah, if you're going to do it, just go fucking get the geriatrics out here and let's fucking do it. And maybe it's like, oh, I don't know, a runaway train, never coming back, going the wrong way in a one-way track, you know what I mean? Maybe somebody steals Dennis Hopper's actual corpse, and that's like the plot of the movie. Honestly, no, because... Get him in there, totally. So they did...

You just have Liam Neeson be the funeral director that knew him or something? Speed's done cars and buses for the first one, and then boats for the second. So you get like a John Wick on an under siege 2-esque mission. Yes. That I could do. I'm totally down. I'm totally down with that. I'm not down with what someone suggested to me on letterboxed, making a fifth lethal weapon movie.

That should not happen. No fucking way. Isn't that not possible anymore? Like with the TV show, isn't that the end of it? Yeah, it should be. They don't care. They don't care. Who would give a fuck?

Do you know that they're not, the guy that, Sean William Scott is coming into the next season of the weapon? not as Riggs, just as another character. But isn't it a thing where his name rhymes with Riggs, though? I thought so. Like Biggs or something? Trent Biggs. I'm his cousin from Cincinnati. Let's never speak of it again.

And you know what, today? And from now on, you might as well call me Martin Riggs. I mean, why not? What was it deal with that guy? I was like horrendously abusive and fighting with people and shit. Yeah, it sounded like a bad set situation. Oh. Yeah.

That's whatever. Cabin, have you seen any of that show? Oh, yeah. It's terrible. Even with Damon Wayans? No, I mean, I like Damon Wayans, but it's like this movie where the whole thing is like the family shit. And like, what was good about lethal weapon? What Shane Black was like into was, again, the police department. Right. And the villains.

And also, we have a good villains also. We haven't said his name yet. Gary Busey. Gary Bucy's in that first movie. Oh, excellent. He really is. Excellent. And what's the dude's named Joss Eklund, the dude who's Hans from Mighty Ducks,

who's Mr. Diplomatic Immunity in that second movie? He's amazing. Tom Atkins is in that first movie, by the way. You'll forget Tom Eck. Oh, yeah, he gets shot. You owe me, Martin. You owe me, or Roger.

It's great. He's, like, holding a milk carton and gets shot. It's great, like, little practical effect of the milk flying in. So Murtaugh, like, was apparently murking people at some point from the sum of what Tom Atkins was talking about. They were in some dirty shit in the nan. Smuggling drugs in the United States. And fucking milk.

Gibson was a green beret. Sure. Special forces. He's got the tattoo. Not in this movie. All of that is conveniently erased. And did anybody stick around through all the credits? No. No. Oh, because it's the dumbest part of the movie. When all the credits roll through,

the last thing is a big, like, cast and crew photo, a huge thing. Sure. And it starts in on like Dick Donner and Mel Gibson and Danny Denny Glover. I almost called him Danny Murta.

Good old Danny Murta. And then it like zooms out and it's like all, it's the big full crew photo and whatever. The fucking like photo album, like the fake photo album that these credits are, the book closes. Oh, that's. And the back of the book just.

So it was all a story? Yes. It didn't exist. None of the weapons happened? It's like Shrek. And on the back of the book cover, it just says lethal weapon for it. And I was like,

Why would the title be on the back of the book? Well, because it's China and they read the other way. Oh. So that makes sense. They started through. They really did. That's the end of this fucking horse shit. Would anybody recommend this movie?

No, no, no, no. I mean, look, I guess I'm going to have to watch Little Weapon, too, because everybody loves it so much. It's a good one. And I think one is fine. One is really good. It's just not my go-to-80s action movie. This series is just fine. This movie is trash.

Unless I guess if you are a complete as go right the fuck ahead But like first two are great I actually love both of those movies But like three is not good And four is a fucking trash fire Yeah avoid at all costs Yeah I'm just gonna say no That's that

And that's that just no Yeah no and also even at two hours and seven minutes This isn't a hangover movie because it's just obnoxious Yeah it's an obnoxious movie Bickering all the big all of Chris Rock's bits no no no that's the thing yeah all of him all of pesci it's terrible i think you could use one as a hangover movie yeah and also two because i remember being kind of long i would even say maybe even three because it's kind of it's it's it's it's it's that's when it's like you you had this

wine the first two yeah and this was and then three it's watered down but not to this degree no yeah it's color carlo ross yeah this is two buck chuck this fucking people still care in number three It's palpable that they care There's better Probably better Say pieces Renee Russo is really good in it as well That's another big part

She's awesome in that third movie I don't like that third movie She's awesome in it Not a lot to do this time around Because she's pregnant They're just like stick her with a baby What else can women do but get pregnant They didn't read these porno novels

But like they also just make it look like She just had like a really big lunch For most of this movie It's bad That is Lethal weapon for directed by Richard Donner. If you want more We Hate Movies, check out WHM Podcast.com or find us over

on the Headgum Network. Rate and review the show wherever you get it. We would greatly appreciate it. We do indeed. Have a Patreon. Patreon.com slash we hate movies, bonus episodes, Star Trek shows, animation, damnation shows, all sorts of shit. Twilight drunkmentary coming up pretty soon.

God, we're doing that. Yeah. Deaf, dude. Everyone should definitely check out the Patreon and just look at all the, look what's available. Jurassic World bright the man of steel what a steel what a steel is correct oh look at that

Facebook.com slash we hate movies and at WHM podcast on Twitter of course next week the summer blockbuster extravaganza keeps on a chugging along what is next to you say that we've got it's going to be the 4th of July week

so it's going to be get your hot dogs out it's we're going patriotic with Rambo 3 fuck yeah dude Franchise Town continues. Totally. And if you don't remember this one,

it's where he's riding horses with the Taliban. So until next week when we get super red, white, and blue. I'm Andrew Jupin. Stephen, say that. Chris Cabin. Eric Siskin. Take it easy. That was a HitGum podcast.