We Hate Movies - S8: Episode 356 - Transcendence (Clip)

Episode Date: May 11, 2018

On this month's full-length patrons-only episode of We Hate Movies, we're talking about the ridiculously stupid cyber-thriller, Transcendence, but if you're not a Patreon subscriber, you can't hear it! So if you're curious about what you're missing, here's a quick taste to whet your appetite! And be sure to check out our Patreon page to get a good look at the hours of extra WHM content our subscribers have access to! Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

So we opened on Paul Benton. He's like, oh, everything used to be different. It used to be so different. Isn't that right, Mr. Stark. And it goes, do-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-d-l-l-d-l-l-l-l-d-l-l-d-l-l---------------l-l-l--. I used to be able to jerk off on the Internet. Now I have the magazine. We're back to magazines.

Man, I fought a homeless man for this FHM the other day. It's a finite supply. The printing presses are gone. We have to hoard the magazines. It becomes like madman, but instead of gasoline, it's all about pornography. Oh, that's a feasible future, man. I can see that happen. The gangs took over the highways, took all the pornoes.

Do you have that penthouse with a nurse in it? The nurse letter? No, I'm looking. for wizard magazine. Not Orgy magazine. Then we get introduced to the littlest FBI agent who is Killian Murphy. I didn't know he was so short.

Or is Morgan Freeman the Undertaker. What's going on here? Morgan Freeman is the Undertaker. He's very tall, but I'm guessing Sillion Murphy's also not tall. No, he's not. I've seen him on stage. Man is very short.

It's like... Me and my brother, Kane. I burned him in a fire. Oh, Kane always fancy that red. I'm more of a black and purple man. I am the American badass. Keep rolling, rolling, rolling, rolling, rolling, rolling, rolling. Dude, fucking Morgan Freeman on a motorcycle.

Oh, Morgan Freeman! He's going to win the Oscar Undertaker. Oh, look out that Morgan Freeman wasn't driving, Miss Daisy. You're going to lead on him when he takes you to the grave. When you first said, Cain, I thought you meant. like he's old enough to be able No, I knew exactly what Steve was talking about. The Undertaker's brother Kane.

I didn't know they were related. Oh, they were related. Who's Mama Undertaker? Oh, that's a great question. I think she was just like some like I don't know, like, Kathy Bates if I ever heard me. Oh, nice. I was going to say Mimi from the Drew Carey show. They should have made that movie. Her and Paul Bear would have been a beautiful couple. Exactly. That's actually true. RIPD. Paul

Bearer. They would fit together rather nice. I would watch a sitcom. Or it would be great. I bet you, actually, if you look through the archives of rassling, there's some like Mama Undertaker situation, and it is a poor fucking Paul Bear dressed up in drag. Oh, nice. I bet you dollars to donuts that happened.

He could play two roles in a movie or TV show. Oh, boy, I got to go take Kane to a mother son dance. Oh, dude, by the way, I haven't seen it yet, but I heard rumors that's where the last infinity stone is, stuck in Jared up Ardu's belly button. Oh, he's never going to get it. Yeah, Thanos, you're fucked. It's the one thing that it breaks the gauntlet.

Well, I'm going back to space now. No, no, no. Avengers, stand down. Everybody stand down. He puts the fist in the belly button and it eats him. Oh, that's, fuck. Hey, guys, now that our little roommate situation, foiled Thanos, I'm probably, I think I'm going to get that presidential pardon, maybe. Give me one, too.

I didn't even do anything yet Just get me apart Oh, I've done things He's talking to himself So I don't know So he's looking in a I'm sorry But he's looking in a carnival mirror

That makes him look like Steven's call from 1987 Oh give me more Hey Vlad can I get more carnival mirrors Oh get me a couple of those too I can't just invent a Photoshop mirror I actually have to Photoshop Do it

I saw my face on a skinny body once figure it out Thanos Shut up in my belly Thanos Shut up You don't get anything You know,