We Hate Movies - S8: WHM On-Screen: Solo: A Star Wars Story

Episode Date: May 31, 2018

On this very special WHM On-Screen, the guys chat about the all-new Star Wars adventure: Solo: A Star Wars Story! Be warned, gentle listener! This episode contains major spoilers for the Ron Howard-directed film! Spoilers such as: that totally insane Noa Briqualon cameo, the introduction of Chewbacca showing him as a lounge lizard-type crooner, and Darth Vader being Luke Skywalker's father! Solo: A Star Wars Story stars Alden Ehrenreich, Joonas Suotamo, Donald Glover, Emilia Clarke, Woody Harrelson, Thandie Newton, Phoebe Waller-Bridge, Jon Favreau, and Paul Bettany; directed by Ron Howard. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is a headgum podcast. Welcome to W.H.M. on the screen, everybody. I'm Andrew Jupin alongside Stephen Zadak and Eric Sisko. We are here to talk about Ron Howard presents a solo of Star Wars story. Now, for those of you finding us, because this is a Star Wars-related thing, we are generally a quote-unquote bad movie podcast that usually talks about some shitty older movies and makes fun of them and whatnot. These on screens are things that we do for newer movies that come out, bibbidi-bobbidi, all that stuff. We might like it. We might not like it. We don't know. You never know. I mean, we'll get to that in just a second.

But we also have some stuff behind what the kids call a paywall. Yeah, this is free content and you're welcome. You know, that's really nice. Just have a seat. But if you look behind this wall here, there's a bunch of exciting paid for content where you've got a $3 level which will get an animation damnation

which is a fun recap of a bad cartoon. We've got like 30 of those up at the $3 level right now. We've got a $5 level, which will get you the $3 level, plus what we call a prime episode that is behind the paywall. We've done a bunch of them. We've done some on Man of Steel. We've done one on Ghostwriter Spirit of Vengeance, one on the movie Transcendence.

In June, we will drop an episode on Jurassic World. So a ton of great shit there. For the $8 level, you get all the other levels, plus you get what is called The Nexus, which is a recap of Star Trek The Next Generation and Star Trek TOS, back to back, kind of in a fun... Loving but joke-filled...

Thank you. All that, plus four commentaries a year, and I'm going to announce a new commentary we're doing next month. Oh, fuck. Which will be up in July. If you like this show, the commentaries are more like hanging out with us in a way,

like hanging out watching a movie. They're not like scripted. deal. We watch it in real time and we talk in real time. It's like I'm on your couch. Hey, man, I live here now. We're doing a power hour for no good goddamn reason because we're 35 years old and we're stupid. It's what you call a stunt. To the third Twilight movie, which I don't even know what the name of it is. I think it's called Eclipse. Is that Eclipse? Okay, yeah, we're doing a third one. We've done the other two. They're already on there. If you sign up today, you'll get those. But this will be one hour of which will be a power hour and the rest will be getting through the

rest of that Twilight movie. That'll be dropping sometime in July. You're going to want to watch that. Anyway, check out all this extra stuff. Patreon.com slash we hate movies. Now, Solo, a Star Wars movie directed by Ron Howard, just came out this past weekend, this Memorial Day weekend.

First of all, I love the notion that because it made a paltry $101 million, it's a failure in Star Wars is sunk forever. It's over. Can we just get a fucking grip on reality? My God. That is one thing I don't understand. Deadpool went through this two where it made a ton of fuck a shit ton a boatload of money but because it

didn't break records therefore it is a failure right and i mean like whether or not you like other those movies that's fine but like we need to we need to address what success is because like we've already destroyed what a middle movie is yeah like if the only thing that actually can exist so it's exactly like uh the middle class is gone yes we either have poverty movies or we have The affluent 1% movies. Yeah, no, I mean, that's kind of where we're going here. If we only view movies and successes or failures based on breaking records, we won't even have like sort of mid-tier blockbusters.

Like we should have middle-tier movies, like, action movies, thrillers, dramatic romances. All these movies are kind of ebbing away because we are obsessed with like the numbers here. Well, and it's because also like so much of our box office culture is, dominated by these record-breaking things like your Black Panthers and your Infinity Wars and you're whatever the fuck, right? When you have a movie that makes over $100 million

in three days, three or four days, and it's like, nope, hey, Star Wars, out of business, motherfucker. Oh, shit, man. Guess it's just dried right? That well is fucking tapped. And again, like, yeah, exactly. I'm not even defending Star Wars movies, we're just defending movies

that need to make a decent amount of money. So now that the state of the end, industry is over let's dig into this movie um so for i want to get out of the way that like okay a lot of people weren't excited for a han solo story myself included sure i would rather than done anything else in this universe uh-huh but i was shocked how much i like this movie i kind of was too i feel like i i sort of had no expectation i really really like star wars but i've never like read a Star Wars book or owned a Star Wars toy

so I feel like that's how I gauge my fandom, right? I mean, like that's why I know that I'm more a Star Trek person because I read Star Trek books and had Star Trek toys. I think like the extracurriculars of a movie franchise or movie TV franchise or whatever makes you the bigger fan. Sure. Like if people don't

know, I've read a ton of Star Wars novels including this year. Oh, they know. Oh, they know. Okay, yeah. But you know, some people find the show through these special episodes so I was just kind of like okay you know it's just another Star Wars movie I've been loving these new Star Wars movies

enough like the saga ones and whatever like I think Rogue One is okay and I had a shit ton of fun with this movie I do think it is better than Rogue One I actually liked Rogue One when I saw it because it felt like cracking open one of those EU novels but this is even more so because it is I felt it was very

restrained you have a very straightforward kind of story and we do not have to Hem and Hall about the Jedi and Sith and oh my God, the fate of the galaxy. I like this movie just enough. Like I'm really just on the edge there. I'm with Eric where I

went in being like I really wish they told, and I'm with Andrew as well with this whole group which I love these new Star Wars movies of the first two of the new saga. I just, I left there enjoying the movie but at the end still feeling like I wish they made a movie about anything else because I still kind of feel like

I don't think the kid has it I don't think Ansel Engel Hort Alden Aaron Wright oh the other one Ansel Elgort's fucking baby driver okay and that kid could might have done a better job I don't know I just didn't think so I don't I think this performance is fine I just don't think it's got it holds even a slight candle to I was shocked by this performance because I thought it was so much better than I expected because all the press and that's my what kind of sunk this movie was all the press

about it until release was they fired the directors, oh no, this guy needs an acting coach. Like, I thought it was going to be a train wreck. Sure. I mean, and I mean, it cleared that hurdle for sure. And I mean, I think it's, it is fun. I just don't, I don't, I think that it kind of goes in and out in some scenes he's got a little more charisma

and some scenes he doesn't. Some scenes he seems he feels a lot more stiff. It's just, it, his performance was not for me. I, totally enjoyed him in it. I thought he did a good job. And I think part of the reason why I wasn't noticing any of this stiffness is because most of his scenes, he's paired against Amelia Clark,

who's about as stiff as you can get. And that's a huge problem for this movie. That's another reason. I think she's kind of terrible. I think she's totally good in Game of Thrones doing what she does in Game of Thrones. Anything else outside of that? Not so much. Like, I saw her in Terminator Genesis,

which is another like multi-million dollar fan film and she's playing Sarah Connor and it was fucking horrible and she had this thing out when they were doing press for this where she was like talking shit about the movie and how nobody had fun making it and whatever and I'm like yeah okay but you're getting paid a fuck ton of money

to be in a Terminator movie let's attempt anything like following Linda Hamilton is really fucking tough and even what's her face on the TV show as Sarah Connor was better the other Game of Thrones lady what's her name Circee Lanister Lena Hetty

yeah Lena Hetty who is also who's great but you're also following Linda Hamilton so it's tough I will defend Amelia Clark

in this movie because okay now I think she's she's alright by the way spoiler alert for the whole movie

oh of course we're gonna talk about it all yeah what I think is fine about that is we're bridging the gap from the prequels yes

into the OT and in the prequels no one acted like an actual human being Gotcha. So it's kind of like if you, now I feel like if you watch the prequel trilogy and then Han Solo, a Star Wars story and then into the OT, you're kind of just like, oh, okay, yeah, people are starting to become people.

They're slowly getting there. The galaxy learned what emotions was in those intervening years, right before when the space 70s hit and everyone understood what emotions were. Exactly. But it's kind of crazy, though, because, like, I mean, all right, like, we differ on all the Neron Reich's performance. Sure. And, you know, I guess we differ on Amelia Clark a little bit here.

But, like, with Amelia Clark specifically, like, you're surrounded by charismatic performances. Woody Harrelson, Donald Glover, Tandy Newton, Phoebe Wallerbridge doing the L3 droid. Even this fucking Junis, whatever dude playing Chewbacca, like, and he's played Chewbacca before. Yeah. This is not his first outing as Chewbacca, but this is like a little more, you know, he's stretching those big old legs. And he's fucking killing it even as Chewbacca. You got John Favro as the voice of the little guy. And Amelia Clark winds up being the most interesting character in the movie.

It is an interesting character. I mean, literally the most, like, the twist at the end is like it's all about her and her character and what she's, all the dirty shit she's gone through and stuff like that. And like, what is her real side and what's her real face? And like all of that falls flat because the performance isn't very good. Like even about Anne Hathaway in The Dark Night Rises, like where she can turn on a dead. dime like that's what you need in this movie is somebody who's like in hathaway you'd be fine i'd be fine with felicity uh what's her name uh from uh rogue one right jones felicity jones was great i

think um yeah it's just this kira character is such a huge deal in this movie as it turns out and i'm sorry she's like watching paint dry mm-hmm so we open on karelia and i loved finally seeing Karelia and it's the fact that they this lady proxema character I thought was fantastic voice by Linda Hunt Oh that's like this um centipede crime lord

She's a human centipede Yeah I'm just picturing this creature Eating someone's shit That this creature That definitely happened Yeah 100%. That's why she keeps all these orphans around She feeds on their shit

Oh excellent Nom Nom Nom Nom Deleted scenes We're not And this is like, maybe this is from my perspective of reading all these EUs and comics and shit that it's like, there's such a tendency in the Star Wars EU to like being like,

oh, it's another hut. Yeah. Like, oh, it's a fucking other hut. So it's great to see a new creature design happen that was realized and didn't feel like a complete CGI gleep glop. I think there was a good amount of real deal VFX puppets in this movie. I will say this movie even more so than Rogue One,

even though one kills this. And I think that this is what Disney has going for it, amongst other things, is they get the Star Wars aesthetics as perfect as anybody. And the production design is perfect in every scene. And this whole movie is filled of worlds, crafts, and places to be that are super Star Wars. The problem I had with the visuals of this film was it felt so dark. It felt like I was watching a bootleg here and there. I thought it was the projection in my theater.

And I saw this movie twice. I went to a better theater the second time. I was like, oh, no, that's just the movie. When you left the first theater, you're like, well, I guess I'll have to go to the better theater now. Fucking turn on your goddamn projector. Only a little bit. I was high enough from the film.

But, yeah, and it's this weird, like, you know, because especially when we're start, what's the planet we start out on? Corrilla. And this is, it's been, that's a long-teased Star Wars planet. It is. A lot of famous people have come from there. Wedg Antilles was from there.

Obviously, Hans Solo. And we see the Star Destroyers get built there. It's a shipbuilding planet. The Millennian Falcon was built there. It's like an industrial planet. One of Hans Solo's first lines is like those big Carillion ships, mind you. Oh, okay. So he's, yeah, you kind of, you see, I didn't brush up before I wait.

No, you're fine. I mean, that's like literally just like closing my eyes and replaying Star Wars. Is that how I can do that? But I'll say to the look of everything, though, yes, the bleakness bothered me. because I get it like it's supposed to be bleak it's a horrible existence for them and this continues for the first

60 minutes of this 135 minute movie so it's kind of obnoxious but to just piggyback for one second on what you're saying about Rogue One and this movie getting like the looks of everything right what I think is so impressive is that both of these movies are movies that are taking place

before the very first Star Wars movie before episode four and they get that like retro Metro look down. Versus, I haven't finished this first season. It's fine and whatever. And I'm not talking about the entire overall opinion of the show. But the set design on this Star Trek discovery,

this is a movie that's supposed to be taking place before TOS. Oh, okay. And it's between TOS and Enterprise. And it looks futuristic as fuck. Aren't they doing the movie aesthetics? That's what I'm saying. Isn't that a TOS? But even still the technology.

Yeah, it's too much. It looks way too flashy and futuristic. And, like, that was something that Enterprise, which isn't a great show, did get right, is like the low-fi. They got that right. And these two movies, Rogue One and Solo, get that right of like shit looks old and junky. Like when he's at that speeder at the beginning, it looks shitty as fuck because it's kind of supposed to. Better than those Lucas prequels with all the slick, shiny ships and blah, blah, blah. I'm actually kind of glad.

Like, I never thought after the prequels, I never thought I'd be glad to see them explore this time period again like this pre a new hope time period yeah because obviously i was scarred from the last time but it's it's a it's a time period that was never really explored by the old you or anything else like i don't think you were allowed to because there was the plan of lollucas will do those movies so everything i read growing up either took place concurrently usually post empire strikes back and then obviously after return of the jedi so it's an it's an interesting space to occupy and obviously they bridge it together with the ending we'll get to and i mean i think that that's kind of i mean like and i like that world and this movie is a lot more fun than rogue one

and i think it's a lot cleaner than rogue one it moves it such a better clip everything about it is is better and i think ron howard or whoever philip lloyd whoever philip lloyd no frank lloyd right frank lord right christopher lloyd action Lord and Miller or whoever the fuck Kathleen Kennedy Lucasfilm in general I feel like they really just

took shit like from like the 40s serials that like inspired Star Wars we get like the great train robbery I never thought I'd see a train robbery in Star Wars and it was great I was super fun. I really like that sequence The war film sequence was amazing as well

I love Woody Harrelson in this I love Tandy Newton in this Woody was the best part. Yes, he is. And I mean, like, because he's got that charisma. And, like, he owns the screen whenever he's on it. You're drawn directly to him. And he also knows, you know, that he is the character that's influencing what Han Solo is.

And it's not that he's doing a Harrison Ford impression. Sure. He's just playing a person with similar characteristics that Han Solo that we know. A similar worldview kind of. Yeah, yeah, exactly. And he really, like, names. that kind of like eerily so like Woody Harrelson does a fucking great job in this movie he's he's like holding this movie up for me and not not this movie's bad again like I think this movie's like

a C plus you're okay not you're fine not liking it I'm sure we're getting negative iTunes reviews by the second it's like what do you watch those Facebook videos and the like start pouring in yeah I just start seeing like these thumbs down pouring in as we talk SJW gay slur so and I love I you know SJW you wise, I love that it's Woody Harrelson and Tandy Newton and that's not even a fucking problem. It's not even a thing. It's not even a thought. You know what I mean? Like they make out in the

middle of the movie and it's just there and it's cool. You know what I mean? Like, and that's an important thing for movies like this, I think, to a degree. Speaking about the SJW stuff that's floating around, like there's a lot of people online that hate L3 and they cite the droid rights thing, which by the way,

the droid rights stuff. It's a joke. Yeah, it's a joke. It's definitely, it's not taken seriously. Oh, I know it's a joke because I'm killing every last one of those fucking things when Robarts start talking to me, man.

Robarts? Robarts, yeah, sorry. Jason Robarts are you going to go again? When the robots start talking, dude, when that cute little Japanese robot that plays soccer starts talking to you, I'm cutting its fucking head off.

So you would refuse service to a droid is what you're saying? That's absolutely right because it's not a human being. Wow. So someone's going to open a canteen on Mosaisley? You fucking better believe it. The strictest codes in the galaxy. So fuck you, bud. But one of the first, I don't know,

one of the first 70 lines of Star Wars of the entire saga is, we don't serve your kind here. So this, like, is ingrained in it. This, like, droid versus man thing is, like, very much part of it. And I'm glad that it is, it's played for a joke in a New Hope, and it's played for a joke here.

It's, I mean, it's more, I mean like they kind of go both ways with it where like you do side with her because she's like hey man you know what I mean like she's a minority but like it is very clearly like it's fun it's a joke we're not taking this idea too too serious and they're upset about the

droid rights thing why exactly because they think it's like a oh like oh of course we got a fucking fight for minorities in Star Wars or whatever that's why thank you Miss Kathleen Kennedy I think it's kind of a joke it's kind of a joke for you guys

if you learned how to read, but... Like, just, I don't know, man. You got to unplug, man. You got to... Like, not every... Well, they've all taken Ambien before they go on Reddit. Oh, that's right. That's true. You know what? Here's a thing.

Just stop watching Star Wars. That'd be great. Like, you know... Yeah, we did. That's why this movie failed. Well, how about you shut up about it? Like, that's what I don't get like this. It's like they don't... Obviously, you know, they don't want to like the movie.

They go in not wanting to like, which is kind of how I go into a lot of movies too. Or are they just trying to hold up their internet personas and they actually love this shit? Do you know how many things I don't watch that I don't talk about? I could fucking fill up the moon with that. I don't watch a lot of things. Yeah, of course. I mean, I think a lot of it stems from the fact that Kathleen Kennedy is a woman that's kind of running the ship here.

She's doing a great job. She is. I mean, look, these movies. are all successful. And these movies do feel this movie does feel like a Star Wars movie to me. To me, a bit of dissending opinion here is that it's this movie, it fits well, like it does a lot of fun

stuff. The set pieces are fantastic. Woody Harrelson's great. Paul Bettney is amazing. Yes, Dryden Voss, by the way, which is a fucking phenomenal name for a villain in an 80s movie. It sounds like Dalton Voss, right? Yeah, from The Chase.

Yes. Oh my God. Charlie Sheen and the Chase. I think that's what I'm thinking of. Dalton Voss's daughter. I mean, and I think that this movie does, we talk about restraint, it does hold back a little bit, but there's a little bit too much

hanging hats on stuff for my taste. A little bit. Case in point, I do not need to know why he's called Han Solo. I don't need to know why he's called Han Solo. Although I kind of appreciate that it's like a John Doe situation. Yeah, yeah. It's kind of cool.

I don't need it, but I'm okay with how it went. This guy just being like, well, your heart. Solo, I can't believe I got to say it, oh, I got to say it. Or how about,

you know, give me a scene of someone else coming up, like, like, coming up, like, trying to join the empire

and they're like covered in mud or something. Well, I guess we got Joe Mudd over here. Like, he's like falsifying everyone's records,

like the fuck with them. And some fat guy, oh, hello, Mr. Chuppekins. Like, excuse me, that's your new name. That's how Porkin's got to. Oh my God.

No, my name is, it's Rogers. It's John Rod. No, Mr. Porkins, right this way. Oh, yes, Fatty, join the resistance. I'm going to join the rebellion after this. Shit. And then, well, I've been Porkens for 12 years. I guess I've stayed Park.

I do like the papers scene. It's a part of the Empire. We don't really see that much the bureaucratic, cold, cruel side of it. I love that we get to see it. and losing 1,500 children. Yep, yeah. An imperial airport. I always wanted to see an imperial.

Show me how the regular people fly. Yeah, and I like him joining up with the Empire. It's a cool wrinkle to the character to a degree. That whole shit is all the like seeing the inner workings of blobody, whatever. That's also why I really love that fucking casino scene. Yeah, Ken-O-Kedde-Bite. Yeah. And whatever the fuck.

Last Jedi. Last Jedi. Like, I like seeing how other parts. of this world function other than ships and fucking fighting in space and the fucking Jedi and the Sith like I'm glad that can take a backseat they don't say they don't say Jedi at all in this movie though yeah but they show one what they should at the end of the movie yes yes yes but they don't fucking say it and it's awesome um and like I like all that I think that yeah I do think Aaron Reich's a really stiff and doesn't really have it a lot of the time I

love Chewbacca because it's confirmed it's something I always was curious about No I know where you're going With this Has he ever tasted

Human flesh? Hell yes he has He's been eating people He was eating people For months down there As a fucking Side show Dude that's fucked up

That guy's an engineer That guy knows And they show it at the end of the movie He like flips it on Like how do you know that you monster He's like dude

I have a degree In Kashik I am a fucking doctor when I came to your country I had to eat people where I'm from I'm a doctor over here I have to run a bodega

and eat people and like and that I like that scene I actually think for my faults with Aaron Reich I think he's got good chemistry with Chewbacca which is super important

obviously and points to that I will give him points to that it's fucking awesome that he's the first person like in the Star Wars movies to speak, like, Chewbacca language to Chewbacca. Yes, it works.

It's fucking great. It's fun to watch that. I don't need, again, hanging a hat on thing. I mean, like, every time you do this, you, like, lose so... It just takes me out of the movie and makes me feel like I'm a little embarrassed to be end. The movie, when it's like, what's your name? Chewbacca, that's really long. I think I'll shorten it to something a little more palatable.

Yeah, you could just have him call him Chewy at some point, and we get it. If you meet somebody named Jonathan and you're like, well, Jonathan, A little long. I think I might call you John, which is a shorter version of Jonathan. I've never once explained to you why I call you Steve. Exactly. It's just a shortening of a longish name. It's a thing that happens.

And like, that one did not. I mean, the solo thing, I was like, buff. Okay, whatever, man. But then that one, I was like, you've got to be kidding me. It's too much. And I mean, but I do like the heist movie elements of this. I like the train robberies. Oh, train robberies.

Roeboards. Oh, damn it, you got me. The fact that Woody Harrelson is just taking people's armor and just walking around like he owns the place in the battlefield. That shit is awesome. And he's up there, it's meant to look like World War I. It's like pads of glory up there. It's fucking great.

And he's got that little Earl Flynn mustache kind of a thing. I feel like Ron Howard's or whoever directed this movie is. I think that it's confirmed what you're seeing. A Crimson Dawn. directed this movie. I think what you are seeing, I think the final number that was out, it's 80-20 Howard.

80% of this movie is Ron Howard. Okay. Yeah, so it just feels like very classic Hollywood because like in the movies of the 40s, like they were kind of informed from World War I. That's also kind of why Ron Howard is a perfect choice to make this movie because that's the nature of a lot of his movie.

No, just like he makes movies in a very classical style and he's very not slavish but like very respectful of where he is and like it's very much oh well whatever George wanted to do like you know what I mean like yeah

which is also why I think he resurrected Darth Mall I think is also a nod to George in a way which we can just talk about that this whole thing is they're talking about Crimson Dawn which is the syndicate which I like the syndicate angle I think this is good world building for the rest of these

movies that they want to make in this time period is like you make an underboss that you can attack without actually affecting the overboss which is the empire so like you can have all these adventures with i mean it's cynical in a way but it is cool because you got paul betney killing it in this he was amazing and you know yeah exactly like palpatine's not reading the reports about all these things it's just like shit that's happening it's like weird drug deals next to what's happening Exactly. Like, you know, like, I don't need to see Ronald Reagan. I want to watch Miami Vice. And I think that that's a cool idea. And I think that's going to take this, I mean, like, depending if they're really a failure or not, blah, blah, blah. But Paul Bettney is great in this movie. I love the fighting style. I love his little fucking. Oh, Teres Kai.

Laser blades. He looks, and I think it's because Aaron Reich's short and Amelia Clark's short, but in that last scene when they're fighting, he looks like fucking Akima Lajewan, dude. That dude looks enormous. I couldn't believe it. And, like, I would gather

he's like kind of a tall dude. But like, Jesus Christ. I know. It's just like he's doing the Undertaker Big Boot. Dude, you know what I thought it looked like? Was when Kramer's doing karate lessons with all those kids? With the same skill level, Jerry.

It's amazing. He's enormous. We're going to miss in that scene. Oh, my God, it's so great. And I was, we were trying to, we were talking about this before. We were trying to, like, figure out if he'd ever played, like, a Villain before. And I couldn't really put my finger at it. My God, he's fucking got this down.

He's so awesome. I like the cool scars. I like that his eyes go red when he gets angry. He's a weird alien. I just think that, and, I mean, like, he's very menacing. And, like, I think he's sparsely used probably for the benefit. I can't believe they killed him, and I didn't even get his full fucking backstory. Sorry, what a fucking waste of a character.

Yeah, what's his high school GPA? That's why it's all six, dude, he fucking, you know what I mean? Then he turned to a life of crime. Wow, I guess no one gets out. Favro's little monk. A, I lost significant dialogue trying to figure out who that was, and it was John Favro. Like, I'm like, literally he's talking, and I'm like, who the fuck are you in my head?

We couldn't figure it out, and my wife was losing it, and she finally opened the phone in her purse and just looked really quickly. I was like, you know what? I'll allow it. Because it's driving me fucking crazy. It was John Fabro, and he's good in this movie. Because also the voice is totally modded, so it's not like you're going to get it. He's got this slow little monkey death, which I kind of love.

I was, dude, I was getting upset. I was kind of getting emotional. Watch this cute, this like fucking six-armed little cute monkey thing just die. I was kind of laughing. I was having fun with it. It just did not, not to the detrimental movie. I'm like, that's kind of funny. So we actually haven't really talked about Lando at all.

So what do we think of that? I love this. I fucking love this. I really, I really love the outfits. I love the outfits. I think the performance is totally fine. It's just not there for me. God, what do you want?

Billy D. God damn William. He's fucking 85 years old, dude. Get over it. You're not getting it. And you know what this is? It's him doing a nice, like, he's got the inflections, and he's not doing a cartoon sketch. And what's awesome is you can see the difference

because when he hosted SNL, he did a Lando bit and he's totally cartooning it up it's two totally different Landoes I think he's got a good presence and I think that it's I'm fine with it

for the most part it's just how could he do better I know I if you're giving him a performance I just want this character out of this movie honestly like I don't need a ton and I feel the same way

about this Leia thing like everyone's like we need a Leia movie no we don't she is gone it's totally fine to leave that character and let's explore new characters. I loved Paul Bettney, new character.

I loved Woody Harrelson, new character. Tandy Newton, new character. I would prefer new characters, but I did enjoy Lando for what it was. I feel like what we got in this movie might not have been perfect with Han and Lando, but I think it's the best we could have gotten without having Harrison Ford and Billy B. Williams. I just, I love them in beetle wigs,

like you're 80-year-old man. What young scrappy pups we are. But, I mean, to be fair, Donald Glover, I mean, Lando is such a tertiary character. That's true. More than that, more than this movie in the O.T.'s, like, barely there. By the way, you notice the Woody Harrelson dresses in Landau's outfit that he wears at the Shredder Mask?

Absolutely. Which is great, because that just means somewhere on the Millennium Falcon. It's just always there. We get a little bit of a taste of this, because we get a little bit of a taste of this, because we get like, we get the fucking Lando closet situation, which I feel like

Hott and Solo, you know, demolishes and everything. Of course. But he, you know, he does some renovations on the Falcon

and that's like a game room or something. But I feel like this A vestiary. It's only where vests go. Chewy, that's my man cave. Get out of there.

That's where I'm going to put my cold beer keg generator. No, but I feel like somewhere... Playing billiards with humans only. On this ship still. is a pretty fun prop closet because that shredder mask

is on there somewhere. Yeah, it's, I mean, I mean, I like the Falcon stuff. I like the, we do get to see the card game, which, you know, has been... I think it's pretty cool. Off talked about.

Yeah. I mean, that's something from the EU that they brought back in and also Han being a former Imperial they brought back in. So, points for me. Yeah. Finally you get some points.

We did kind of mention Darth Mall. and like sort of at the end of this movie you see Kira kind of turn on the team I was having so much fun with this movie and when I saw Darth Mall and I didn't know where this was going the blood drained out of my face

I was like halfway distraught for a second because like I was never really for bringing Darth Mall back from after being cut off. That's kind of where I'm at yeah and in the Clone Wars and the rebels cartoons they do bring him back and he plays he has big story arcs and he has got the robot legs

and I haven't seen the Clone Wars but I've seen Rebels and I was just so out of left field for me because I just watched Darth Mall have like a Canobi kills Darth Mall in rebels

so I'm like I thought what is he poisonous drink well let's drink to the empire well as you should know that I've been developing a resistance to Ida Cain Powder since my days in Nabu. It didn't matter which drink you picked up. No, it's like a lightsaber fight.

That ends pretty quickly with Kenobi being the victor. But now there's all this talk about the fact that they set Darth Mall up into this and Crimson Dawn now might be across all these new standalone movies they're doing. So the Fett movie they'll factor in. And then also, Kenobi obviously will have a rematch with Darth Mall in that movie. I'm half and half on it. Like, I kind of like that it's small to a certain degree. Like, it's a character that's totally throw away in that prequel.

Like, you know what I mean? Like, let's see what he can do. Robot legs, maybe not. I mean, like, you have to have robot legs, I guess. But does he have, like, a spider robot legs? Or is it just two robot legs? It's now two robot legs. I think in the Clone Wars, it was a spider legs, but in rebels, they course corrected.

And by the way, Ray Park is back as Darth's Noel. Peter Serra Finowitz is out That I'm against I feel like if he wasn't doing the tick He'd be doing that voice No I don't know Because they brought in the dude Who does it from Rebels

And the Clone Wars The same voice actor So I don't know It's fun I mean like I do I'm not entirely against it I'm not entirely against it I'm cautiously optimistic for it

We'll see where it goes I did not expect it So it's good to be surprised It is and I was surprised And I think that there needs To me, it's more a failure on the Amelia Clark part of the seesaw where it's like, again, like, she's just staring blankly at nothing. And it's just like, yes, my master.

At the same time, it's Star Wars. You don't really need a blueprint. And so the movie kind of ends. And I mean, we've kind of gone through. Most of it sort of, we're leaving large swads off. Well, sure. This is just a mini, so does they say. The next thing we're going to do is go to Jabba's Pass.

And I'm like, that's the hat. I want, like, Han learning how to be a scumbag. Because the ending with him and what he has. Here's the thing, like, people assume that, like, we're going to Jabba's Palace and that means a new hope is starting, which is not true. Yeah, he's just going to get in with Jabba. Exactly. Who knows how many jobs he ran through there or in the Outer Rim territories?

Who knows if that's actually what you're going to see? I mean, I don't sure you'll see something. Yeah, I hope we, again, another thing is like, I hope we don't do that. just when I was saying about this movie before I saw it. But one great thing was Han Solo is a drug runner for Jabba. Sure. He drops a shipment of spice. Spice.

Yes, which is stolen from Dune, I think, that's the drug. So he drops a shipment of spice that gets him on Jabba's shit list. I mean, I don't know. I wouldn't mind seeing him walk around with drugs. Dude, if you just had, how about this? This next solo movie, because it's just like fucking over drug dealers and whatever, what if it was like good time and he's just fucking running around the galaxy with a fucking bottle of spice beating up some security guard in a fucking carnival?

Yeah, and instead of like, some dude falls off a balcony because of the dog, but that dog is Chewbacca. Totally fucking watch that. I love it, man. I thought the other, I don't know what, maybe the other wookie, other wookie, well, fell on hard times. That dude looked like shit. I don't know what happened to him. That wookie had a weird face. He did. He was fucking working in

the spice mines of castle. Oh, yes. Let me see how you hold up. But I do like the last scene with Woody Harrelson. He does shoot first, obviously. Han. Han shoots first. A little nod to that, but we don't put a hat on that, which I appreciate.

I think it's fun. When do his balls drop out of curiosity? Is that happen in his late 20s? Or his early 30s? What are you talking about? Well, I talk like this for a while, and then all of a sudden I'm like, hey, kid, get over here. It's spice. It's all the spices is doing.

It's heavy spices. One thing I do like about the McGuffin of the movie with being the hyperfuel, the coaxium or whatever. Right, right. Is the fact that it's a ticking bomb at the same time. So it gives this movie a lot of agency. You're really on the edge of your seat. Even though I know, it's like I know Han Solo lives. It's not going to explode.

But it's very exciting. I was even excited towards that part when they're like about to get sucked into that black hole or whatever they call it. I'll wait with the fucking space clafoo or whatever. Yeah. Oh, when they're doing the... Space Chitulu is coming at them, man.

Yeah, yeah. When Han Solo's got to get the fucking cheat code to do the castle run. But even like when it doesn't work and they get sucked in, I'm like, oh, where are they going with this? And then it kicks in three seconds later. I was like, oh, wow, I kind of was surprised by that. Yeah, no.

And excited by it. This movie had way more surprises than I think something like Rogue One did where, it's like such a direct line into the next movie. And Vader cheat codes and... Yes, yeah. Oh, big time, right? Like, oh, you have activated Darth Vader mode.

Because, like, so much of... Which is great, but yeah, I get it. And that's why I think it's... It is good that you've got this, like, 20-something-year-old kid. Because, like, there's all sorts of adventures that could happen in between this solo movie and New Hope, you know,

versus, you know, we're getting the fucking first scene in New Hope in Rogue One. I want a fett movie for sure. I'm into it. I know some people don't want it, but it's something I've wanted since I was a child. So I should be a dude. They got a good director,

so let's see what happens. I want a fed movie for sure. I want just stuff that's less explored in the Star Wars universe explored. I just don't want to say. Give me a Dengar movie. Let's take some risks. And I'm certainly okay with like female fronted movies.

Give me like make Mara Jade, figure that shit out. I would be great to bring her out. Any of those, who that? Mara Jade ended up marrying Luke. Skywalker in the post return of the Jedi EU. She's since been stripped of her rank as a

canon character, but I think they'll probably find a place to put her back in because they did it. Grand Animal Thrawn was also another one of these... He's a blue guy? Yes, he was a great, great character, who's the best guy ever. He took place, he took place right after Return of the Jedi

and he was like a, he was like an admiral that the Empire are sent to the very outer rims of the galaxy because they were racist against blue people. But he was still great. Get those blue people out of here. I don't know what the music got toilet. Gusting. Oh, my God.

He was a great character. Great tactician. They put, they rearranged the canon. They put them in rebels like post, I mean, you know, pre a new hope. Instead of post return of the Jedi.

so they rearranged stuff. She's a female Jedi that could eventually be. And you could make a movie about a female Jedi in that time. She doesn't even have to be involved with Luke. Like she was actually a hand of the emperor for a long time doing imperial missions. But I think that Princess Leia should be done with Carrie Fisher, period. And that's it. And I mean, it's different because Harrison's still alive, Billy D. is still alive.

It's not so raw. Like, dude, we buried that lady last year. don't need to see some dead-eyed actress be like, hi, it is me, Princess Leia. Now I'm a spy. By the way, by the way, I want to quickly mention, getting back to the SJW part, if Star Wars, 1977 came out

today, the internet would be on fucking fire over like, oh, this is SJW stuff. I can't believe oh, she's got to be a princess and use a gun. Yeah, oh, absolutely. It would be non-fucking stop. Oh, Mon Mothma, when was the last time a woman ran a war? Now a

dog is flying a spaceship Dogs don't do that. What now dogs have rights, liberals? Can we end on this great detail that I just was grinning from ear to ear about? The sex scene? Did you guys have the sex scene in years? No, you were accidentally looking at porn on your phone.

Oh, right. It's the dick that came in 12%. No, dude fucking Warwick Davis. Yes. Just getting to be a dude in a movie. Yes. It's all. Awesome. And I, and he's great for the one. Playing weasel, by the way. Yeah. I didn't, and I liked like the, hey, I'm going to help these people out. I don't need. And it's the biggest hat we hang on anything where she's like, you, sir, have just funded a rebellion. Hello. And I'm like, either I get it or I don't get it. I just like, take that fucking shit and walk away, lady. That kind of to me is like the least offensive of all of those.

Dude, the Java ones are the worst because they do it twice. It's like, I know a guy on Tatooine, leaving it there once. I didn't mind the Java stuff. I like the first one, but the second was like, you want to go to Tatooine, buddy? Because Woody Harrelson's saying it, you're like, all right, whatever. But then when Han says it, he's like, yeah, this fat guy on Tattooing, like he makes some size thing. And I was like, I got it the first time when you were fucking talking about it. You know what I want? I want Han and Chewy on a double date.

Figure that out. That's the end of your movie. It's like they're just going to the movie. to see something else. That's like a perfect strangers episode right there. Ah, so that has been WHM on screen for Solo, a Star Wars movie. Until next time, I'm Andrew Jupin.

Steven Sadek. Eric Cisker. Take it easy. That was a HeadGum podcast.