We Hate Movies - S8: WHM On-Screen: The 2017 Superhero Round-Up

Episode Date: November 30, 2017

On this special WHM On-Screen, the gang gathers to chat about all the superhero nonsense that's happened at the movies this year. Topics of discussion include: the Avengers: Infinity War trailer, Thor: Ragnarock, superhero film rankings, and, yes, Justice League! And of course, SPOILERS ABOUND! Also: This Saturday we're recording the final mail bag of 2017, so get your emails in by Friday!! Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is a headgum podcast. Welcome to WHM on screen, everybody. I'm Andrew Juppin alongside the whole game. Game, game. I'm drunk, Steve Sadek, Christopher Cabin, Eric Siska. We're here talking all things comic books. It's like a superhero wrap-up a little bit. Or a summit.

Oh, a superhero summit. Oh, my God. Yeah, dude, that's what happens in superheroes. I was going to say we're a game and you could play us. Your original comment. Oh, oh, I see. Now 12 minutes passed. I think the fart sound effects adds into the game element.

Oh, I definitely break wind when I'm playing video games. Exactly. Or like Fart Man. Everybody remember Fart Man. All right. Oh, yeah, dude. Look down at your phone and press X and A at the same time. I got to tell you, man, I just bought myself a Nintendo DS.

I'm the creepy guy in the train. Oh, nice. My DS. Did you get like the new, like the 3DS? 3Ds 2? Oh, yeah, man. That rules. What are you playing on that, bro?

I'm playing Super Nintendo games only. That's nice. That's awesome. That's very nice. So first up on the docket for this on screen, just dropping today, the day of the record, is Avengers Infinity War trailer. Yeah. So now this is a trailer that involves the Avengers. That's right. And they're going up against this big bad.

James Gandalfine. That's correct. Yeah, or like some type of like Bruce Willis with syphilis. Here's what I think he looks like. This is what Thanos looks like to me. I'll take Cabin's James Gandalfini thing But you cross it with You know when like you leave a hot dog in the microwave

For too long? Yes That and it dries out and cracks It's an eggplate stuck in a microwave This thing looks fucking stupid You know what dude just put Think about X2 One of my favorite movies of all time

Right We've talked about that before Do I have to? Nightcrawler looks awesome Why? It's just a dude with blue fucking paint and that's the end of it yeah you hire josh brolin you pay him enough money to sit in the goddamn chair and now he's purple and maybe you do some gandolphing like where he's a little bit bigger than everybody else like you could do that you can even just like put him on fucking stilts and like

give him like some football shoulder pads or something yes exactly there's so many ways to do this that's not this but he looks not good well that never looked also the movie looks not good it looks like i'm going to be i mean because let's presume that this is playing it's like two hours and 45 minutes. It's got to be longer than that. I mean, I'm going to spend at least two hours just fucking getting everything straight because you know what?

I don't have a time to re-watch 15 movies or whatever it is. Well, they're hoping you will, though. Well, yeah, because they're certainly hoping you will. All the thing, all the chain theaters do the bullshit like Marvel Marathon. You want to talk about fucking farts, by the way. Oh, my God.

I can't even imagine. Don't worry about it. I've seen Marvel movies in the theaters and people farted in front of them. All I can say is if you're at a Marvel marathon where you're watching all those movies be careful which soda you pick up because you might be picking up a pickup you might be picking up a peekup

that's right I thought you were going to say like don't pick up my fucking soda because I am there and I am drinking a lot of soda no I mean yeah I I guess I'm more optimistic on it but it looks kind of fun and cool it is impressive that they like you know when you see the scope of it you're like wow is this

going to be a movie maybe not but at least like they're all running towards the same fucking advantage it's not going to be a movie. Let me be very clear about this. This is not going to be a movie. It's going to be entertaining two hours. All this trailer did for me was get me

super fucking psyched to see Black Panther. Yes, yeah. That's all it did. You feature him heavily. And they also highlight Dr. Strange, which was one of the better ones. I dig on Dr. Strange. I'm into Dr. Strange.

The only part of the trailer that I was like, oh, and I saw my guardians in the Galaxy Pals. But it just feels. like, I watched the trailer this morning, and to me it looked exactly like, when you're like, oh, wait, man, where's that new trailer? I got to check it out. And it's just like all these fake fan edits. Yes, yes.

That's what it looked like. It was like, here's part of this Marvel movie. And here's part of this Marvel movie. And if they put them all together, it's like it's a super Marvel movie. I will admit, I saw a bootlegged version of the trailer that played at Comic Con. I caught that on the internet. And it's much different. And I thought the stuff that they set up in that one

was actually a lot better than what they show in that. There's a lot of, is it Thanos that attracts me eating ravioli? Better movie, man. Oh my God, sadly looking at strippers. Pretty good bellini. Now, in that bootleg trailer from whatever fucking convention. Hall H, motherfucker. Oh, good Lord.

Whatever convention, Comic-com. I don't know. So is he like driving? Yes, you do. Is Thanos driving a scooter in that? I'm missing. I don't think I saw a scooter. No, he's walking around, dude.

I don't like that. I put him in the scooter. Also, where's this goddamn helmet? This bald, this Bruce Willis baby head thing is creeping me out. Yeah, because he looks like Bruce Willis, if he ate that candy that turned what's her name into a blueberry, really wonka? Yes. Yes. And instead he turned into eggplant.

And I mean, like, it looks okay. and like maybe this is like early effects but I think this is it I mean it's always kind of been it it's always been it's gonna be a god of war character versus the Avengers

and because you can't I agree with you 100% it should be a person and fucking makeup that's it however all the fucking lunatic base of the Marvel canon is going to lose their absolute shit

if he's not a two ton like hefty monster guy he can't be thin like cut Josh Brolin Well but to Steve's point They could fucking Gandoff him or something It's a little bit bigger than everybody else He looks like I mean it like it's difficult whatever

Or get Kevin Nash Or get Kevin Nash Thank you yes Or give Dave Batista do double duty Sorry Yeah That dude is as big of a house Yeah

I mean yeah it's I don't know It looked kind of fun I can see where Like I'm totally gonna see it Who's who's kidding Everybody's fucking seeing it Of course Yeah you have to

They're gonna fucking take your family I've been fucking breaking my balls. He's going to show up. He's like, you didn't make it out on an opening weekend, huh? There goes grandma. I'm here with the, I'm here with the Mouses, guys. You said you were mighty marvel at. It doesn't look

like that. I've been fucking breaking my balls watching these movies since 2008. Like, I have to. And that's pathetic. I know it's weak and it's sad, but I have to. Oh, my God, since it's like eight movies stitched together, will there be eight Stan Lee cameos? Oh, yes. It's him in different

Wings. Every 10 minutes, he's like, I'll get that point. That's what they should do. Every Stan Lee came here from all the universe's movies come together. Wow. And that'd be great if all the characters started talking and they're like, wait, you know that guy? That guy's my mailman.

No, no, no, no. That guy fucking waters my lawn. No, no, no, no. That guy tried to come into my house one time when I was having a birthday. I just got here. I got off the bus. I saw Dr. Strange on the way. Isn't that you, Hefner? You're telling me that's not you, happened? Well, you know what's

going to be? It's the end of everything happens. You know, Thanos fucking gets his head ripped off by Rocket Raccoon and it's amazing and everyone like applauds. And then it's Stanley in a chair and he's like, yep, I created all those characters. Can you believe you saw 60 or some odd characters

and I created every single one out of my genius brain? Dude, you know how they could do that too? You put them in an all white room with TVs like he's the architect and the Matrix? Yes. And on all the TVs, it's just all the movies. Yes. And he's like, this

was my creation. My baby. And then he's just jerking off. Oh, yeah, no, he's clearly pleasuring himself. I have all the money now. So, you know what? The movie might prove me wrong. I will see it. I'll see it unlike the Justice League, which I did not see.

Which is what everyone's tuning in for. Right. So, see you later. Coming up next on W.HM. on screen, we're going to talk about the Justice League for a little bit. Stay tuned. All right, now that Eric's gone, we can talk about the Justice League. And a little Thor Ragnarok, too. He didn't see that either.

Right, so let's get into it. Let's start, like Steve said, the thing everybody came here to see, us talking about the Justice League which first of all let me just say you're getting in it on screen folks it's not an episode there was some discussion amongst the cast members of the show Chris Cabin is absolutely furious I've known Chris Cabin for almost 20 years

he was pretty pissed that we didn't want to do this as worst of 2017 but Steve and I our logic was it's just too boring go Chris Cabin that's not necessarily my logic yeah that was my track okay I'm thinking anyways it's fucking garbage well yeah like from begin like okay here's here's i guess my tipping point whereas i hate bad man versus superman i think it's a piece of trash uh sure but but yeah the whole time

i could tell it's a zack snider movie it's his vision sure he's doing this everything he's building here is an idea that he believes i think it's dog shit right but he he has a hold on this Justice League, I was like, what the fuck is going? It just felt like a bunch of scenes you fucking put together. And it was. And that's what it was. Honestly, I didn't hate that movie. I would give it like a C minus.

It's just like, you know what I mean? Like, if you gave me the Batman and Superman term paper, it's an F. Like, you know what I mean? You're not even considering C in summer school is the only thing I write on it. If you give me the Justice League paper, I am redmarking this. I'm like this, I would like more of this. Get rid of this idea. This idea is bad. Like, you know what I mean? There's enough. There's enough here that I'm like, okay.

And again, I will full on, full disclosure, I'm a DC fanboy. I always have been. And like, I'm not such a DC fan boy. Like, I hated Batman versus Superman, to your point. Like, I went into that movie with a neutral expectation. It's Batman, where he's a shoeman. Oh, no. But this, there's enough of those scenes. I'm like, that's pretty cool. Oh, that was kind of cool, too.

But that's the whole thinking behind. I don't like that thinking. Sure. The idea that, like, look. It's not a movie. 100% it's not a full stop. It's not a movie. We're not watching movies anymore, Chris.

We're just watching superhero things. What are you talking about? We go to a movie theater and they show you a superhero thing. Thor Ragnarok is a superhero thing. It is right. You definitely couldn't see good time in theaters. Couldn't see Lossidy's seen. I mean, come on, man.

There are other movies. No, no, no, no. No, no, no. I see what he's saying. Because, like, those Nolan movies, those are movies. Yes. These attractions, yes, I know that the Safdi brothers made a really good movie this year. We're not talking about all of capital C cinema.

We're talking about, like, in the comic realm, you know, like, you're capable of showcasing good shit. Yeah. Tim Burton did it fucking 30 years ago. You know, that first Superman movie is good and fun in its own way. But, like, now we're just at a thing. where it's like you go, someone fucking jerks off your senses for close to three hours

and then you leave. I mean, none of them are movies. Well, I wasn't hard for a minute during any of this. Some of them are movies, I will say. Ant-Man's a movie. Both of those guardians are movies. I guarantee you this Black Panther

is going to be a movie. Dr. Strange is a movie. Spider-Man Homecoming is a movie. Thor Ragnarok is not a movie. Thor Ragnarok is two movies with a good sense of humor. It's a colorful attraction. But I would, but, I would,

say the difference here is that I can tell all those scenes are Taki Watiti and I enjoy the look of his movies. This, I'm enjoying the look of Zach Snyder without the confidence of Zach Snyder because a quarter of it

is Joss Whedon's scenes just tossed in for fun. Right, but I mean fit. Listen, I think they fit. Due to the extenuating circumstances of why that is you know, I don't blame him for- But how do we fault? But how do we fault the movie. I fall

because I sit down and I watch the movie. I'm not going to like think about all the things. But so what is the thing though? Like all right Jaws Weiden, you have the handle on this. You just have to do it exactly like Zach Snyder does it. Well no there's a breakdown. You can find there's a breakdown of the scenes he did.

Yeah, I mean you don't even have a breakdown. Yeah, I mean you can see it right on the screen. It's a zebra. It's like black stripe, white striped, black stripe, white striped. Yeah, yeah. But like that's just my point. And like I watch it and like if you because there's been plenty of reshoots. Like, Rogue One had half the reshoots. It still looked like fucking Gareth Edwards directed that movie.

Whereas this one, it just, you know, the color scheme is Snyder, and I can see that. Honestly, like, and I mean, like, extended circumstances aside, I appreciated the change in direction. You know what I mean? And like, I think some of that was, to your point, Joss Whedon and the terrible thing that happened, but also some of that's like, holy shit, Wonder Woman's a hit. What the fuck do we do? You know what I mean? Which a Wonder Woman is fucking totally not used in this movie. You want to talk on a movie

That's a movie That's a wonder woman The Patty Jenkins film That's a movie But this it's like I mean it's unbelievable It's just like Remember that thing

You saw earlier this year That's fucking great Well here's that character You've come to love And she's fucking doing nothing Because you can't do anything You have five characters One of which I've only met

Like in a flat cyborg For like a second In one of those movies I like that kid I don't know who that actor is I keep forgetting his name. He's fine. Yeah.

The look of cyborg is trash. It's terrible, but oh my God, dude, I almost jumped out the chair because I thought you were about to talk shit about Joe Morton. I thought he's fine, but Joe Morton. And then you wouldn't get a word out because I'd pull your throat out of your body. I'm going to make fun of the brother from another planet. Please, please, please. All right, so let's go through the new character. So, a Wonder Woman, I think, is, I actually think, like, they relegate her to exposition, which kind of makes sense for the character,

but also like it does to your point like oh shit here comes the one that's why that scene is there with the dude from uh from game of thrones is like oh hi i'm gonna do something i'm like let's give one room something to do i'm a terrorist i do terrorist things oh she foils the the terrorist attack oh wait that dude's on game of thrones yeah he's uh ramsie bolton's dad i already don't bulton senior yeah i don't care uh Greg bolton i want to say yeah that makes michael michael lewis bolton uh so that's one room we know batman i guess like killing superman kind of lightened his is like oh man

I feel a lot better now he was visited by three ghosts that's what you don't see at the end of the last movie he is a true believer in this movie yes he's very earnest and I mean like

that's even in like some of the other scenes as well like you don't get the super great like because again like this there's a lot of notes that came out after Batman's versus two men A I like the palette here

I think the color like the designs look pretty good I really here it is everybody I really like the parademons in this movie they're Kirby influenced as they should be. In the last movie, they were fucking Michael Jackson's Moonwalker influence. Yeah, they had those gas masks on. Yes. This one, they're like, they've got

goggles and the sharp eyes. I'm like, and the sharp teeth. I'm like, this is something I can get behind a flock of steam punkers. Yeah. And I'm like, oh no, it's a flock of steam punkers. We've got Jason Mamo's Aquaman, which I could, I'll watch that movie. That's, that's going to be a movie. James Wan directed it, so it's going to be a movie. And so here's why I was annoyed in the theater because like the way that they have constructed this is backwards. Yes. They had another company

showing you exactly how to do this and this like ketchup thing isn't working because the whole time it's like I should be more invested in Aquaman at this point. And instead he's just a radical party dude who's woo-hoo and through his whole movie.

He's like a fucking jeans commercial. and I was just like Like I don't fucking know Like I know you know he's a dude Yeah He talks to fish through the water and whatever And that's all cool But I've got I've got nothing

Like making me give a shit about this character In this movie Because this is the first time I've seen him do anything Yeah Yeah I mean it's a huge problem It's a big problem And like the parademon thing Like there are tiny glimmers

Like when Jeremy Irons he pronounces Aquaman Aquaman that's pretty great oh you know it's you know if you listen close enough

Jason Mamoa is kind of calling him Stefan Wolf the whole movie because Jason Mamoa didn't really read the script he's like oh that Stefan Wolf's coming around Can we talk about that because this movie has the same problem

a similar problem that Wonder Woman has in where it's a villain but it's just a nothing I, you know, honestly, I was okay with Jeffen Wolf. I like Siren Heinz, his voice comes through. I think the design looks okay. You want to talk about fucking God of War characters, though, man?

This is a fucking Mortal Kombat Reject. I have a bet here, because you will walk this back in five years. Oh, wow, I love this. You know what? He looks like garbage. It's a Zelda villain that they decided to fucking put against four actual people. That hat, man. That hat.

He looks like a stone cutter. I was kind of looking at the hat today and I was like, I don't know, man. See, it's hard. The cracks are already forming. Maybe, you know what, dude, we're going to the club. Maybe leave the hat at home tonight, dude. But, dude, we know you're thinning. It's cool.

But then it's just going to look like if Bruce Willis like was Veruca's salt, but he ate white chocolate. Yeah, I mean, no, to your point, yes. I mean, I like the vocal performance, obviously, a lot more. I mean, like, it's, it's. It's kind of like the mother boxes are fun, but they're stupid, too. Like, by the way, mother box drinking game, man. Oh, how many times are we saying motherbox? Oh, my gosh.

It's got to be above 20. The weird thing is, why not just do Dark Side? Like, if you're going to do it, do it. You set them up in that first one. You set them in the first movie and then, like, the balls to think you're going to have five movies to figure this out. And also, your Stinger scene, by the way, doesn't even establish Dark Side. it actually establishes a death stroke which is kind of cool you know what I mean like we're doing

like an anti-justice league that's what the next movie in quotations we'll see if that happens is so then why not just do dark side in this one and like do it because we got to keep building up narrative man gotta fucking do it let's do it instead of like actually having people that fight other people

you got Joe Mangone he doesn't have to be in a fucking big prune computer suit sure he's just a dude with a guy and a cool little outfit yeah and it's totally fine. I would say I liked I actually think that this movie is fine

I don't think to your point like I want them to do less Marvel stuff like you know what I mean like just have a Justice League movie that's kind of what this is like we don't I'm not super invested in Aquaman but that's fine I'm not super you know what I know who that guy is you said he's Aquaman got it you know what I mean let's move on that's the thing

that's why just like that dark side's here let's fucking do it you can save yourself forcing this two part movie if you just start it and they're the Justice League everybody knows. Yes, you're right, you're right. There's already, there's a The Will Day won't day is bullshit. Yeah, there's a massively successful

television show with the Flash so everybody knows that guy. And that was a huge mistake because Grant Gustin is so much better than this fucking is remember. I will say that and that's the screenplay's weakness is the humor isn't so great and they, and he

is downright annoying and a lot of scenes. Yeah, like somebody needed to dial this dude back. I don't hate it, but it's a bit much. Well,

and he specifically, like Aquaman, I get a sense of his life. Like, I know what he's doing. I am supposed to... I'm just picturing Jason Momoa

dancing with clams. Getting counsel from a crab. Yeah. But like, yeah, like, Flash, he just shows up.

He's annoying as shit. And like, it's like the adorkeable factor. thing and like you want to die a little bit. Wait, what did you just say? He said adorcable. That's okay. Is that a thing? Yeah, that's a thing. That's a word we're using. I'll be out

back hanging myself. Caution, it won't be a dorkable. You have a good reason. Once my neck breaks, my body will piss and shit itself. It won't be a dorkable. And like he does nothing except for the final thing, but the final thing

doesn't even matter because cyborgs doing the final thing. I will say, I mean, honestly, the reason I am, I give me so much credit. A is because I'm a justicing head. But somebody, like, it took Superman. Like, he died and he came back. And it was just like, you know, it's like when you have a heart attack, you're like, you know what? I'm going to stop yelling at my kids. You know what? Life is too short. Sure. That is my last, my last midnight at Black Friday. Exactly. He died. He was brought back for the dead. He's like, you know what? I'm going to smile more. I'm going to fucking, you know,

I'm going to be kind and like there is a warmth to this character which you don't see in those other movies that have been waiting for for fucking six hours of film at this point

I liked Superman in this movie except for the musts I mean the mustache is a big problem it's a huge it's a huge problem here's the thing though man I think because I was just like fist deep in beer and casso at draft house Brooklyn

I didn't fucking notice it oh you could tell we came out of the movie and Steve was like the mustache right I was like oh yeah where was that Like I totally I just missed it

So did you get drunk and like Eat half your nachos from the first Like by the first scene? Because him on the cell phone was where I noticed it the most Dude I get there early man I was fucking drinking during the breach of okay The cell phone was bad I think the scene with him and Lois is pretty okay

I like the scene with him and like the flat Like there's there he's having the big fight And instead of being like oh you know what I want to do is fucking pile drive somebody into a building It's like oh no there's people let me save them. And again, that's in a producer's note. It's very clear, but it's like, that's the movie I wanted to see. But I'm actually trying to remember right now, though. Sorry, Chris, but we have no 75-9-11s here, right? Or do we? There's half a 9-11 in Russia, which is kind of... So, you can't really

notice it, but... But the Justice League does get off their ass and stop fighting the villain and say, let's save some people. Like, where the Flash is saving that family, and then Superman's got the whole house full of people, and it's like, oh, that's fun. And that's like a fun, obviously, a Joss Whedon scene. Like, there's no two doubts about it. Guaranteed. And you keep on coming back to it throughout the, I didn't need it throughout the movie. Oh, no, yeah, the setup of them.

And like, and like, there's like five scenes, man. And you could just find them there at the end and be like, Flash, go help that family. And be done with it. Yeah. I thought the kid with the bug screw is kind of fun. It's like, oh, there's a bunch of bugs. I'm a dumb kid. Dude, but it's just, I just don't care.

I don't need my collateral damage to have a problem. personality you know what you're really you've gotten into my bones chris because i am like am i gonna really regret this five years from you are i know you are i know you so well you are going to regret this i know it i know and it's fine you know everyone makes mistakes well the soup i'm making i'm currently making a mistake cut to christmas eve 2022 steve is standing on a bridge ready to end his life when Chris Cabin, in angel form, appears to and shows that always how

I am? Yeah. It shows him what it would have been like if he just openly hated Justice League from the jump. You would have been so much happier. I would have left you a better life. He's a millionaire. But on the Superman thing, yes, they made the right decision in making

him a person. Sure. That's great. Uh-huh. There's two scenes. Yeah. I'm supposed to give it. And they, By the way, I like Superman fighting people in his fucking, in his funeral garb. I'll be honest. Yeah, that was kind of cool. I did appreciate the like he came back kind of wrong thing. Yes, yeah.

But the whole fact that it evaporates the second he sees lowest, that was obnoxious. That's stupid. That's nice. Also stupid is you resurrecting Superman, which should be like the biggest thing in the, like this big scene. Hey, take this box and throw it in a pool. And that's how Superman comes back. everybody. Well, the motherbox, Chris, can do it all. Oh, of course. It sounds like it's just a good thing for plot.

I just kind of bummed. We didn't get another shot of that Michael Shannon dummy. Remember his fucking corpse? Hey, man, you got to pay me dummy royalties. Or else I'll kill your whole fucking family. Yeah, I got a flipper hand. You know, and also, like, I mean, like, obviously they're running. Like, there's that one scene, like, in the Daily Planet, which is not so great, where, like, Diane Lane is, like, like hi Lois and then that guy's like hey Lois are you working? She's like no and he's like okay get fucking get Lawrence Fishburn

in that scene how is Larry Fishburn not in this move that scene was like the first moment I was like oh no when they're just like talking about their the thirsty joke oh yes you wanted to die a thousand deaths now I'm wondering man I'm on the bridge

and I'm like I forgot about the thirsty joke in the background like there's carolers it's gently snowing and Steve's really considering ending his life. Like, it's so stupid. And, like, again, it goes, I know, wrap that out with Flash and his whole sense of humor. Like, that's what's worse about this to me.

This is why I will, I totally think this is worse within Batman versus Superman. Your way off. Is that something like you made the right choice and then you did it the worst way possible. Okay. That's a fair point That's a good way to put it, yeah

And like None of it like locks in for me At all Flash is fine But some of them are really More than 60% of his jokes are bad Like you know what I mean Like and he just needs to have more scenes

Where he's grounded and invested in the scene And like establish the character And then he makes a joke I just I did not care And maybe you know Maybe they do it on the television show And maybe this is a trope of the character or whatever

But I found it obnoxious that he's like a hesitant hero. Like so much of this movie is him just cowering. Yeah. Come on, man. You have this suit. You've been doing shit already. That I wasn't a fan of either.

I mean, I do, I think probably one of the best scenes in the movie is that like we're getting the people out from whatever the fuck when Joe Morton's being threatened. And yes, you got to fucking call the Justice League because heaven the fuck forbid anything happens. Better do it. One hair on Joe Morton's head. Yeah, that's exactly right. And, you know, the Flash gets involved, and he gives Wonder Woman a sword, and it's kind of a cool, like, action set piece.

And they get him away from Separov. Yeah, he's just not great. He's a little thin. He's a little thin at the edges, Chris. And the big thing he's doing the whole time is put a bunch of cubes into a, like putting a peg into a hole. He's just pushing these mother boxes into, that's the big, that's how you become immortal. push a box into a stone. You know what I'm going to say?

And I think that probably like this movie would have been a D but that scene which is totally like a Lord of the Rings rip off where it's like the legions of men and like they got Green Lanterns

in that scene and I was like that's pretty cool. That was and I kind of want to rewatch that movie and be like is there a Hawkman in there? Is there a Captain Marvel in there?

Like I kind of want to go back and look at it and like I've never wanted to go back to look at any of these movies aside from Wonder Woman. When that scene happened Steve and I was sitting

next to each other and I was like he'd appreciate it if I elbowed him right here. I was like, there's a green lantern. Hey, Steve. It's kind of cool. I mean, like, I like the fact that, like, they're coming back to Earth. I think, like, again, broad strokes, like, you put this movie on a whiteboard.

I'm like, oh, that's a cool movie. And then to your point, they made the worst decision a lot of the time. Well, that's like, if I was grading this paper, like, yeah, it would be like a C-minus D plus. And I would just write, like, you can do better. Like I know you can do better Yeah, it's all Wonder Woman, I know you And that's kind of the conundrum I guess I mean like we all know

We've established what we think about the movie Like what do they do from here Like Aquaman's in the can-ish right Scrap it Scrap all of it You can't shit that's made dude You're not just gonna throw it away Scrap all the narratives

Make a new like I'm sorry You can't Wonder Woman fine Well that's that's your problem And like yeah to your point Like it's easy enough Not easy enough It's hard enough just to cancel an Aquaman movie like oh man that fuck a Justin movie it's not going to make money

Wonder Woman killed and people love Wonder it's a worldwide phenomenon yeah how do you go back from that or like what kind of soft reboot are you gonna do here's the perfect idea okay bring all of the narrative into the Wonder Woman movies from now on sure so like if you want like Ben Affleck he wants out of the role anyway but like you ask him to be in a cameo in Wonder Woman 3 he'll come around and like but like I like I'm gonna show up for the Aquaman movie probably yeah I'm not showing up for the Flash movie unless they get somebody really good to do it yeah I don't I mean like the character didn't impress me at all no no and I have no interest and like I know they're like this Batman I don't know what's gonna happen but that's my question is like the the financials

aren't adding up so what did they do like what how do you fix this problem because you do have and that that's like maybe you just ignore it and just keep making Wonder Woman woman movies? Here's the thing. I think they're just going to keep making movies, man, and I hope that eventually... The shipwrites. It writes itself, yeah. I mean, I think there's enough here that that could happen.

You can't throw everything away. With Batman versus two men, I was like, fucking scrap it! That's it! You know, like, clean them up! You know, I was in that mode. But with this, I'm like, okay, I can see some tweaks and things wherein this world kind of works if you keep

going in this direction. But to your point, like, I wouldn't mind if there's a new Batman. I wouldn't mind if you recast the Flash. I wouldn't mind if you recast ever a lot. I like Momoa. I like the cyborg. Yeah. If I care.

These Wranglers fit great. There was a bar around the corner, and it kind of reminded me. There's a guy that would, he would put money in the jukebox. He's an old rummy, and he'd put money in the jukebox. And whenever his song came, I go, yeah. And he would do exactly. that until they kicked him out of the bar. They're like, dude, you're ruining it for everyone.

Yeah, I mean, oh, here was my question, actually. Didn't they make the two Justice League volumes concurrently or no? No. No. Oh, so that's the second movie's not made at all. Oh, that's what they did. But they did not do that with Justice League. No, no, no, no.

Oh, I see. And, like, yeah, like, I have no idea how you react to a tragedy of this sort. Sure. As a studio, as a parent, any of it. I have no idea. So that is not what I'm talking about. No, totally. But there's better now, it looks like people with talent are being allowed to make these movies now.

Where like, or like Snack Snyder is not untalented. It's just I don't like the look of his movies. His thing doesn't work for us. But that's a thing that works for a lot of people. Yeah, I'll never understand it. But you've got a cougler out there now. You've got a Jenkins. You got a YTT.

Matt Reeves doing Batman, a great choice. Fantastic choice. He did great with the Planet of the Apes movies. So I'm all for it. And that's what, maybe that's the generousest tube. That and Wonder Woman 2 is how they figure out how to make this a new,

like a different universe. If you fix your Affleck problem, it's a bummer that he didn't get to make his movie, whatever, but like. And I don't think. And I don't think. No, because I liked him in BVS. Like that was my thing.

I liked him in Jeremy Irons in that movie. But like, whatever, like, make it so that whoever's playing Batman is happy to do it because he's sleeping through this movie. Can we hit pause? Why the fuck did J.K. Simmons go to the gym at all? He's in one and a half scenes and he's wearing a fucking suit and a hat the whole time. Oh. Oh, but did you not notice the flappy hair underneath? I almost screamed in the theater.

Everybody knows that dude's bald. But, like, why did he need those pictures of him being jacked? It's like, for what? I think it might be a deleted scene situation. Where he takes a shirt off? Yeah. He's like sleeping. with Lois.

No, he just goes up to Batman. Just compare. Let's compare here. It just rips his shirt. Dude, I can pick your ass. Nip to nip. Let's see what happens. But I feel like with Batman for the most part, it's not like, I don't want to say it's a

guarantee, but that's an easy box office sensation. Sure. Easier box office sensation. And you got a good director, you're 90% of the way there. Yeah. Like just you have to get directors with different voices. And allow them just a little creative. freedom god damn it that's and that's the way you beat marvel i think honestly is you absolutely if

you literally make this a hodgepodge universe because whereas marvel's learning it way too late yes like if you you go over here for the the the noir batman movie you go over here for that would be cool you go over here for the the wonder woman movie you find like this weird fantasy epic with aquaman or whatever the fuck you're doing right and they're all different and maybe if you want to make a justice league movie where and you try to blend those styles sure but but you don't necessarily have to. Like, I say, branch out. You know what I mean?

Like, don't, you know, if you have to blend styles, dude, for like, first of all, they're not going to be Marvel. That was a joke. Yeah, Marvel's. But here's the solution to that, blending styles. You need, like, your comedy and your darker stuff and whatever. You fucking get Peter Jackson to make that next Justice League movie. I'm into it.

That would be cool. I would watch that. What the fuck? Why not? Or get George Miller back. You know what I mean? He was ready to go. So touch on Thor, Ragnarack really quickly.

And then we'll rank the 2017 entries for superhero dumb. I was bummed Washington Thor, Ragnarok. I'll be completely honest with you. I like Tyca as a director quite a bit. But my beef with it was, and it's not the movie's fault. It's the fucking studio's fault. There wasn't a single surprise in that movie. I saw everything in that trailer.

And so when the movie was over with, I was like, well, that's the thing that I saw in a two and a half minute cut. Well, it's also, I mean, this is a very messy movie. movie there's no through line it's it's like here's our scenes yeah like i i like it because it's colorful and it's it's actually funny whereas justice league is not at all yep i buy that and like you know it gave me what i generally go to these movies for i would have appreciated it to have a bit of a spine the way that ant man does or dr strange does yeah but yeah it's just a bunch of fucking scenes. Well, the problem is it's kind of too, like, the fact that Kate Blanchett and like,

again, you put that movie on a whiteboard, you're like, whoa, that's kind of cool because like Thor loses his eye to become more like his dad. Yeah, the Asgardians lose their planet and they have to like, now they're refugees, which is a thing from the comics. That's a huge thing. Hela is awesome and like, is doing shit. But then you have all this Guardians of the Galaxy shit, which is really fun and like, that's its own movie. And also like, by the way, this is the best Hemsworth has been. in these movies by a mile because he's a legit funny fucking dude I mean say what you want about that

Ghostbusters movie I like that Ghostbusters movie sure I think one of the better parts in that movie is you get to see how hilarious he is in a sea of people being hilarious in that Ghostbusters movie he holds his own against like actual comedians Ragnarok really it benefits hugely by its cast

yeah it's one of those movies and like I like what he's thinking about colonialism there's a lot of like there's thematic stuff there to dig into but you just you have too much here your narrative is asking too much of itself like yeah and the same thing with justice league too yeah like that's i feel like if you're gonna start this movie like he's on this fucking planet and it's whatever and it's goldblum that's the movie yes everything has to center around this jeff goldblum is the thing to be defeated and if you want to do another movie boom there's your cape blanchett as the sister and blah blah isn't his character an immortal like the

collector. They're like brothers or something. They got similar haircuts. They do. I think they are there of a They're related one way or another. I'm sure he's going to show up in one of these Guardians movies. Which is cool and fine.

And again, it's really fun to watch Jeff Goldblum do this stuff. Like, Jeff Goldman would give a fuck man. He's having a good time. He's having a fucking blast. He's like,

it's either a fucking television commercial or it's, I don't care. I'm having fun. I'm having, what is this? Oh, it's a Marvel. All right. You know I have six houses,

right? I want some. seven. Yeah, and he gets to seven, and I mean, like, but that's the thing. It's like, when Carl Irvin jumps out of that play with those two machine guns, I'm like, who could care? Because like, and that's a moment you're supposed to be like, oh, yeah. Yeah. And also when Thor loses his eye, I'm like, did that just happen? Like, oh, wait, oh shit, that's, oh, it was treated so insignificantly that I was like, oh, they're just going to like fix this by the end of the movie. Yes, exactly. I thought it was just like a gag and then like, you know, some sort of as guardian.

spell and it's fixed. Tessa Thompson's awesome in the movie. She's great in the movie. One of the highlights, because she's a great actor. So is Ruffalo. Again, to your point, to your point, the cast, Loki's wig was giving me problems. I don't know why. It was other times it's been fine. This time.

I think he's just seen him too much. Like, he's in all these fucking movies because everybody loves Tom Hiddleston, so. Can I tell you one of my favorite parts of this movie? Sure. Anthony Hopkins wearing jeans. good dude he's just got these fucking dungarees on man he's having he's had a nice time on earth

you know what i mean yeah he certainly has he's had a pizza pie sandwich you know what i mean like he's figured it all out my i i like the whole like thor and loki doing shit like i like that but like of course it's it's just the same shit like oh yeah just when you think he's fine yes he tries to fuck him and i was like well of course because i've seen that happen four times But this, I mean, why I think positively of Thor Ragnock and not so much just like, Hulk versus Giant Wolf, all I ever wanted. That was all I ever wanted was Hulk to just fucking do Hulk shit and they finally let him do Hulk shit. I think it's kind of cool. It's a little bit of a, it's not as expanded as I would like.

I like the sort of, he's a little too light in this movie. I like a little more darkness in my Hulk. I do like the sort of like where banners, like you want, you know what I mean? like the kind of struggle there and like now Hulk is like bin Hulk so long he's like learned how to talk which is kind of and they don't explain it I really like that yeah it's just the thing and there's that history there and I guess because I I'm never fucking going back to that age of Ultron but like so what happens he gets launched off into space he leaves I think just leaves because like both him and Thor I think just leave yeah yeah so it's

kind of like fishy. I mean, that, that right there, though, I was like, cool, man. How about a fucking Hulk movie where I'm seeing what he was getting up to there? I'd watch that. Well, that's, I mean, I think there's a big legal embryo about making a Hulk movie now because it was at Universal. Oh, right. I think that's the problem here. That's too bad.

Which, I mean, he's great. And, like, I would, and like, the scene where Chris Hemsworth has to do the Black Widow, like, something's going down. I thought that was great. I thought that was really a good scene. It's, I mean, and again, like, did these characters play off each other? And, like, my fun hot take would be like, you know, Justice League is better than Thoracquette. It's absolutely not.

Like, you know what I mean? Like, no. That's, it's just, because it's a better made movie, Taika Wittiti's a lot better. The comedy is, like, really solid. It just, it's actually probably one of the more disappointing superhero movies, like, where I want it to find, like, because, again, that trailer is so cool. And also, like, all of the things on the table are so much fun. but the table kind of collapses a little bit. It does.

I just, I had a question for you. Oh, did you guys have a problem? Even though you knew going in that it was a comedy, did you have a problem at first, like, adjusting your brains to being like, oh, this is like a straight up action comedy. Yeah, a little bit. Because I've sat through two gigantic snor-fests

that are Thor and Thor the Dark World or whatever the plus. Just frost giants, I'm taking a nap in your lap. So, like, it was weird for us. And that's why I said on Twitter, and so many people did not understand this, when I said that Thor Ragnarok is the Chud 2, Bud the Chud of the Marvel universe. Yeah. Because it's this gross tonal shift that's like very weird. So at first I was like, oh, yeah, I'm supposed to be laughing.

Like, it took a while for like Frost Giant pun, like the ice to melt around me for the Thor franchise. Well, you definitely got to get the Brana out of your blood. Exactly, dude. I needed a fucking Brana, emina. What did I say? Enema. And not. You pee after Brianna.

It's like, oh, what did I do to my toilet? This town needs an enema. And like, even Hopkins, to his credit, is having some fun. He's having some fun. He's wearing some jeans. He's having some fun. I will say that the Dr. Strange shoehorn is the worst thing that's ever happened in these movies. I just love Cumberbatch's Doctor Strange so much.

I didn't give a shit. I was like, this is cool. You know what, Chris? I'll challenge you this. Okay. There are, there's definitely reshaping. there's some scenes where it's like he's got the goatee and some scenes it's a fake

goatee that to me is almost as bad as fucking digitally removing Caval's mustache. It's a big fake fucking again we're talking you know what I mean like yes to switch between the two it's well because they they clearly didn't they used the same scene that was the stinger on Dr. Strange

for this so they also had to add Waititi's footage of that scene yeah yeah that's doing other stuff and he's got a big fake period but it's the general it's like the general shape, whereas like I'm watching something move on Superman's face the whole time, as if you like

rubbed it out with Microsoft paint and like he's just like, it's really bad. Well, it's like somebody threw one of those holes from Roger Rabbit on his face. All right, let's wrap this up. Superhero movies 2017. And correct me if

I'm missing anything here. So Thor Ragnarok, Wonder Woman, Logan, Guardians of the Galax. Volume 2, Justice League. Spider-Man. Oh, Spider-Man Homecoming. Yes. So that's it, right?

We're not going to count Lego Batman movie, by the other. Shut up. Shut up. I hate it. I absolutely hated it. I never saw it. And just superhero movies, by the way. I'm going to have to look at that list, by the way.

I don't know. I mean, this isn't accurate. I just, I Googled the 2017 superhero movies. I would, for me, just because I think like it's pitch perfect and it's a close call for number one but for me man it's fucking Logan. I

agreed 100% I truly loved that movie when I saw that movie I forgot that it was rated R so I had a grand time remembering that and I mean look at the I'm it's number one for me as well and the thing is it's Wonder Woman's really close that's my number two

that's the willisness of Wonder Woman that villain problem the villain problem with most of these movies movies. And Logan doesn't have that problem. And also Logan luckily has like 15 years of history where you're like really emotionally invested in the story. I was crying at the end of that movie also has a director. It does. A good director who knows how to make a movie. And it's got a fucking ending. That movie ends. It ends hard. It ends with Andrew Jupe and crying in the theater. Yeah. And it's brutal. It's like so different. It's kind of what you've want. It's like this

catharsis of like i wonder what would happen if wolverine just tore a shit up oh shit there it is did anyone get a chance to check out that logan noir i i bought the blu-ray and oh it has it on it is it cool how does it it's it's i mean it's not really that cool because it's literally just tinted it like black and white yeah but they didn't like do anything it doesn't look particularly different there's no like sexy detective saxophone score at it no there is not so two then is wonder woman? Are we all in agreement on that? Stabs? My number two is Homecoming. Oh, okay. Okay. I think it's

I mean, for me, it's a it was a movie I didn't want to watch. When I heard about it, I was like, I don't want to watch another fucking Spider-Man movie. Yeah. And like, I was like, I'm going to definitely watch the next Spider-Man movie, but I really don't want it. So then I sat down and it's, I'm coming close to the opinion. It's the best one. Yeah. The best Spider-Man movie? Yeah, of the one. Oh, guarantee. That's how I felt

about it. I'm still on the Ramey corner, but yeah, I mean, like, the one Roman thing why it edges out Spider-Man to me is it's a brand new universe. Like, all she had was that little cameo in Batman versus Superman. And like, Patty Jenkins is like, I don't care. You know what I mean? She's like, I don't know what that was.

Yep. It's the old, I don't know what that question means and I won't respond to it. You know what I mean? It's like, yeah, whatever that is. And she just made her own movie and it's great. It has the villa. And Pine is great. She has great chemistry with pine. It's a whole new universe. And it's an amazing story of like, yes, you can make a woman superhero movie that's amazing.

And it's fantastic. And if I didn't have so much like Wolverine shit, it would probably beat it. But for me, that's where I'm at. I mean, it's my number three. Sure. What I love about it is that unlike all the other DC movies of this flock at least, it has a moral center. Yes. And they thought about that.

And we're like, we want that to come through consistently. And the stuff on Themisgira is great. Yep. And, yeah, I mean, I was surprised. The fish out of water stuff is funny. Fantastic. And, like, I was really surprised how much I liked it. Yeah, I thought I had something else to add about that.

No, I had something at about Homecoming, which would be my three. Because we've joked about this so much on the show over the years of like all the fucking iterations of superhero things. it's such a small story and it's fitting for where Tom Holland's Peter Parker is at like he's not a dude who's saving the world it's like fucking vulture's just like a heist man

and that's all it is and he fucking burns down all that fucking Tony Stark merch at Coney Island Beach at the end of the movie and it's awesome it's the first time I was surprised at a superhero movie in maybe ever like the the vulture is her dad reveal is like oh shit that was awesome and that never happens in these movies because you know

that's what these movies are and yeah it's my number three two as well and it's got a shape it's the shape of a high school movie oh yeah you know what I mean like and that thank God for that you know what I mean it's not superhero watch it it's it's the shape of a of a of a high school film and they don't like I feel like the problem with the ramy movies is they maybe even focused too much on Peter Parker this is much more about the world yeah and like they clearly make a point to ground vulture in an emotional place he's his blue collar worker the opening sings

great where he gets kicked out of a job he had like it's attention to detail and giving the audience something to hook on to that I felt the Ramey movies as good as they are I think they're maybe better directed technically but like this just I was connected

to this movie from the beginning who directed this movie? This was the cop car guy I forget oh yes he says some cop car is a fucking Copcar's pretty good. Oh, John Copcar. Johnny Copcar. So then I guess my four is Guardians.

Even though, like, I remember liking it a lot when I saw it. I haven't thought about that movie kind of since like the week around when I saw it and then that was it. It hasn't stayed with me the same way that like Homecoming has. The stuff with Russell and Pratt, I think, really help it. Yeah. That's the big thing. makes me think back on it more

but other than, and I thought Michael Rooker just acted the shit out of that whole. I cried with Michael Rooker, man. I was, I'm all in on that Guardians would be number number four and it's not it's a really close number four for me. I just, I really enjoyed it. It kept the fun of the first one,

but also expanded on it emotionally. Yeah. You've got the new character, Mantis, who's a lot of fun. Yes. You expand on tracks. Rocket is starting to get a little annoying in that movie I felt maybe a little bit. I was okay with it. I really think that's a problem.

Yeah, I kind of was like, give me some fucking Groot. And I will say it gets points off because I actually hate the stinger scene. I forget what the stinger scene. When Groot's going through puberty. Oh, the teenage group, you can fucking suck it. That made me laugh. Maybe I'm a fucking sucker. I was just bummed because that meant the end.

That spells the end of baby Groot, man. That's the fucking core of my MCU. That little thing dancing. That opening sequence to Mr. Blue Sky. where it just follows him, that's genius. That was really cool. And I think that, I mean, like the scene with Rooker tearing up the Reaver's place with that whatever Ranchero song, it's pretty fucking great, man.

Yeah, that was awesome. Oh, a point I wanted to make about Spider-Man Homecoming, too. I'm going to brag about this a little bit. I recently just bought an awesome TV. Sure. We decided to upgrade, so we got ourselves a fucking rad, you know, 4K HDR television. and when you log into this thing it's a Sony thing so it's like all like fucking

hooked in with Google or whatever but Sony offers you a free 4K download for something what does the NSA offer you I'll bend over and I'll show you and it's fucking rad dude I checked out homecoming and Jesus Christ

if you want to make an argument for beautiful television technology Spider-Man Homecoming looks so goddamn cool in 4K little tech nerd stuff So then, I guess, so then we're at five? Yeah. What's your five? It's got to be Thoreg.

I guess that's the Ragnarok. And again, like, my hot take would be like, you know, I think I can't get there. Like, even as fucking contrarian, I can't, my contrarian hat keeps falling off. You can't do it. I mean, and while I have said, and we'll say again that I think Justice League is a Primo hangover movie, because like, it's confusing as fuck. It's chopped up. It doesn't matter when you start watching that movie.

Sure. You know, I still was, I think it's still more of a letdown. Thor Ragnarok. Yeah. I mean, I was bummed about Thor Ragnarok. I liked it, but I was just bummed that that's all that it was. Yes.

You know, I thought there was going to be a titch more. And Thor Ragnarok does look great. Yeah, it's a beautiful movie. The colors they figure out. It's just really cool. I like,

and you know what points to Clancy Brown. You involve Clancy Brown in a movie you get like two more points. That's always a big thing. If you're like, oh, do I want this or that? Oh, it's got Clancy Brown in it. Okay, I want that.

You always want to favor Clancy Brown. Yes. And then, yeah, so we just spent 45 minutes also talking about Justice League, so that's clearly the bottom of all this. So then what is the SCED

for 18? Black Panther. We kick off with Black Panther in like February. Something like that. That sounds right. Yeah, got Black Panther at some point Deadpool's around.

Deadpool two. Right. You've got X-Men Phoenix is also next year. Dark Phoenix is next year? Dark Phoenix is next year. Whoa. And that's not Brian Singer, right?

No, it's the writer I think it's Simon Kimberg Okay, good, so when that shoe drops The movie can still be released Yeah, but Simon Kimberg directed the last hand Oh yeah No, no he didn't fucking

Another piece of shit Brett Ratner did Brett Ratner I mean Kinberg probably wrote it Yes, he did I'm sorry He wrote it That oh and then so May is Avengers Infinity War Part 1 are we getting both of those

In the same year? No, no I think it's just one movie No, they're doing another one. Really? I thought it was just the one movie. Well, now what is this other? Well, no, because they're not calling it Infinity War part two anymore. It's like Avengers Infinity War

and then Avengers a fourth thing. Oh, right? Avengers were doing it one more time? Those were shot concurrently, and that's why I thought it was like a May and November thing. I don't think so. I think the other one's coming out in 2019.

Oh, and then Captain Marvel, because it's a movie with a woman, is coming out in 2029, I want to think. 2099. Yes. It's a Marvel movie starring a woman, so it's coming out in 2009.

Well, we got Brie Larson's already cast, right? No, yeah. Come on, we're going to get the Black Widow movie in like 2065.

We'll be fine. I'm going to say I was excited Jude Lawson that is going to be in that. In what? In Captain Marvel. Yeah,

there's like a white dude Captain Marvel character who like hands her the mantle and like he was the guy in the seven 70s and 60s, 80s, 80s, 70s, and now he's going to be in the movie in some capacity played by Jude Law, which is pretty cool. And Jude Law is funny, and I heard that they're making, they're going to try to do Marvel.

I imagine he's going to be more of a joke. Oh, Ant Man and the Wasp is next year, too, right? Yes, it is. And that's the big one, baby, yeah. I'm excited for that. Is that also Peyton Reed again? Yes, it is. Is that a great going to do the hard work first and then Peyton Week gets the credit?

No, he's just going to cry in the theater. Okay, got it. Oh, man, that's WHM on screen. I guess we'll just call this superhero wrap-up. Until next time, I'm Andrew Jupin, Stephen Sadek. Chris Cabin. Eric Siska. Take it easy.