We Hate Movies - S9 Ep1: WHM On-Screen - Avengers: Endgame

Episode Date: May 3, 2019

This episode contains spoilers for Avengers: Endgame On this episode of WHM On-Screen, the gang is chatting about the little known box-office flop, Avengers: Endgame! Who made it through the whole thing without using the bathroom? Who had what spoiled? And what minor, fun, harmless detail did Chris Cabin hate? PLUS: Stop talking about the movie you just saw when you're in the bathroom on your way out! Avengers: Endgame stars Robert Downey Jr., Chris Evans, Mark Ruffalo, Chris Hemsworth, Scarlett Johansson, Jeremy Renner, Don Cheadle, Josh Brolin, Paul Rudd and a bunch more people we won't list here because yeah, technically that cast list is kind of a spoiler; directed by Anthony and Joe Russo. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is a headgum podcast. Attention, the great city of Chicago. We hate movies. Well, listen, we're coming back to your beautiful town this summer. I think the whole Midwest better descend upon this show, to be quite honest. That's right, because right now, as of now, unless a miracle comes down from the heavens. This is going to be the only show in the Midwest for this year. So you're going to want to come out to Chicago.

And here's the thing, though, it's the only Midwest show of the year, but it's a fucking huge one. We are joining the rest of our friends on the Headgum Live showcase, the stable of shows at the Headgum Network. We're all heading to Shytown for a weekend worth of shows. And our show, June the 16th, 9.30 p.m. We're talking about one scary fucking movie man, Steve Sadek. What is that film? We're talking the original Child's play.

Holy shit. Brad Durf's star-making doll turn. Rob by bum. Yeah. Hey, Andy, rub my bump. All this and more, we are live at Thalia Hall in beautiful Chicago, Illinois. June the 16th, head on over to Wajmpodcast.com. Click on that tour button for more info. Scoop up those ticks. June 16th, we descend on Chicago. Thank you. Welcome to WHM on screen, everybody. I'm Andrew Jub, alongside Stephen Sadek and Christopher Cabin. We are here to give you the W.H.M.

Take on Avengers, colon, endgame, directed by the Russo Brothers that just came out. You may have heard of this movie. We should say in advance, by the way, of course, spoilers all over the board. So if you haven't seen it yet, uh, uh, press pause, press pause. Don't delete the podcast. Just give it a wait. Wait a little bit. We're putting these episodes out for things I haven't fucking seen yet.

Do we lose downloads when they delete them? No, we already got it. All right, cool. We got your download. You can fucking delete anything you want. You can also s my D, man. Don't spoil it. Subscribe to my download.

That's right. Yeah, so this is, of course, the culmination of what, 22 movies. Something like that. Over 11 years. Yeah, yeah. Wild shit, man. I really like this movie, and I like it better, a lot better than Infinity War, almost to the point of, like, why would I ever watch Infinity War? Just like get to it and the rewatch.

Yeah, I kind of, I mean, I think that this, it's almost like, it's a satisfaction factory, both cynically and realistically. Like, it's just like, how do we satisfy the most people possible? Right. Here it is. But that's also a good thing, because then I felt very satisfied by the film. and almost like, you know, pandered too satisfied, but also like, that's what I'm, that's what I'm showing up for. I want to be satisfied by this movie, and I was. That's my, my, my, my, my one sheet. I'm sorry, everybody. I did not like this movie. Whoa, what a guess.

But I definitely did not hate it the way I hated Infinity War. Okay. I hate Infinity War. Okay. Mostly because of the ending. But this one, some of the emotional stuff paid off for me. I thought, I thought there were a lot more engaged performances that I would. hooked into it's just it's too long and there's too much story and the emotional moments as good as they are are overwhelmed to me by the plot-centric yammering ons that kind of wash it out to me where there were long stretches where I was just like off in my own world not thinking about it because I just wasn't there it didn't connect to me you know I'm in the camp of I really like this movie I'm in the easy sell for a lot of these movies because I don't

care. It sounds weird to say I don't care, but it's like I'm just there to watch shit blow up, watch a bunch of cool colors flash by, and watch people in cool suits do fun things, and I'm really the easiest mark for these kind of movies. And, you know, I mean, like you do have, I mean, what I think what I like about this movie a lot, one of the things that I like about this movie a lot, is that it is more so than the other, the last movie there, it integrates this 11 years of history and I mean obviously like kind of winkingly so with the time travel stuff

yeah but it actually it's kind of like when you see it unfold before you not knowing what's going to happen you're like oh shit they got that person back oh shit that's kind of cool and like I'm now seeing the scene that I and again like I'm mostly one and done with marbles I think I've seen like guardians a couple times I've seen Iron Man obviously a couple times I've seen Avengers a couple times but not I don't see these movies oh I'm not yeah they don't get a ton of replay in my house but I'm like, oh, yeah, that's pretty fucking cool. Even when we're going back to Thor the Dark World. Yeah, totally.

The aptly titled Thor The Dark World. But to what Chris was saying, though, I kind of feel what you were talking about. Some of the stuff in the middle, you know, I was like, I can now feel this being a long movie. Yes, for sure. There's just some stuff that it's like, it's kind of taken too long. But I don't know. At the same time, I kind of didn't mind. I will tell you what I told my wife as soon as I was walking out of it.

it would make complete sense to me if this was the biggest movie that was ever released and made the most money ever because it is the cinematic equivalent of the Eagles greatest hits record. Yeah, absolutely. It is that to a T.

Like, it's pleasant enough. Yeah. It's kind of, you don't have to pay attention to it. And that's why it's a satisfaction factory to me. And that's, you know what I mean? It's just always hitting that pleasure center over and over again. Yep.

And I wasn't bored by it. I mean, certain parts certainly bored me. I did not need that slattery scene to be quite as long as it was. That went on. I was feeling that a little bit. But you know what I thought was kind of interesting? I mean, first of all, you are a movie after my own heart if you basically take the formula from back to the future to you

and put it in this movie. I was like, this is awesome. We're floating around all these other movies, even Thor the Dark World is amazing. But I thought what was really awesome about when we went back to the first Avengers movie fuck you old man in the gun now this is Robert Redford's

last movie I didn't even think of it fucking suck it oh crap that was released shit I've got to make another sad old guy movie because that whole press tour was bullshit yeah it sucks and I wondered if that whole time he was stewing like god damn it I forgot about

that stupid comic David David yeah I love the old man of gun could we get one more in there could I just be a walk on in your next movie. I think it's about a knight or something. I can wear armor. What about, I don't know,

what about an old guy in a retirement home that has to kill his wife? I don't know. Give me something. I just need something that's poignant, sad, and old.

But that walk-on was my moment of, wow, look at all the people they got. That was very, and that kind of kept happening. I was, like, Frank Grillo. I was like, holy shit, Frank Grillo. Oh, the dude, the elevator? Yeah, yeah, who plays crossbones

in the winter soldier. Right, right, right. The Purge, Mr. The Purge. Oh, Frank, the Purge Grillo, I should have said that way. My knowledge of the Purge franchise stops before he arrived. I've only seen that.

I've only seen that first one. The second one's great. The third one's not so great. I like all of them. I never watched the fourth one. You watch that television show? I have not watched that. Yeah.

But the fourth one is really good. I love, so we, you know, we're not going to go to the whole movie. It's three hours long. We're not doing a six-hour podcast. Can I say something about the time travel thing? Like, most of the time, I was okay with it because they do that back to the future thing where they show it from a different

angle or something that's the one thing where and it's not it has nothing to do with the i mean it is part of the time travel plot yeah but i was pissed off at and it made me a major point was like kind of dead for me because of it was him was that hawkeye and black widow going back to the red skull yeah place where they have to get the is it the power i think it's Soulstone. Volmere or something like that. The soul stone. Yeah.

Because I'm like, it's the same exact location. It's the same fucking scene. Yeah, but it didn't have to do this again. I mean, and that, that I would say is an emotional peak that doesn't work for me. Like her death, I think because it's either, I mean, first of all, because it's like, is she going to die or is Hawkeye going to die? And I'm like, you know what? Because if Hawkeye dies, I'm not really affected. Right.

But like, you know, she winds up. dying and the whole movie it felt like well are they gonna undo that or what because they come back and like

Ruffalo's upset and everybody's upset for like 30 seconds but then the movie goes on and then spoil it but the end of the movie is so much about

Iron Man's death which it should be but then you kind of forget at Iron Man's funeral I think that they're talking about I think it's Hawkeye and Scarlet Witch are talking like hey remember how Black Widow died

and they were like oh yeah she's dead too it felt that way And they couldn't get Vision back. They do that for both of them because he's... Jeremy Renner says like... Or I think Scarlet Witch, maybe is the one who says, like, I'd like to think that, you know, she can see what's going on.

Yes. And he says, like, he can too. Oh, okay. Maybe it's reversed. But, like, Vision also gets mentioned in that quick cleanup. And that's the boner jam of it because, like, she dies in the middle of this three-hour movie. Yes. And I kept being like, oh, yeah, she's fucking dead.

And you can't really take a moment to breathe and let that moment really sink in because you have another plop. You have to get going. There's another thing that has to happen. And it is, and that's the thing is that some of the stuff, I'm like, is it like for keeps or is it not for keeps? And obviously, Downey's clearly for keeps for sure. Without a doubt. Evans is clearly for keeps for sure. Without a doubt.

So they are making a Black Widow movie? But it's a prequel, though. It's a prequel, I think. And what's Laura Schiffen? I forget her. Oh, Lonnie Schiffrey. Yeah, yeah. She, I think, is doing it.

Yeah. I'm pretty sure. I do believe I read that somewhere also. That was the director of, um, oh, man, the, uh, one of those Nazi movies. An education. One of those Nazi movies. I think. She directed an education.

And yes, I know what Chris is talking about. It's actually a not too bad a movie. It's called their finest. They do it super sized me. You know why? Because, man, guess what? I'm going to go to McDonald's center of your fucking business. You Nazi.

yeah i will eat i will eat in macdonald's nothing for and nothing else for 30 days that's my business you Nazi what are you referencing no i'm just saying a little bit don't tell me how to eat man oh yeah definitely not

super size super size me every day i'm glad that guy's done for right that guy's like totally done for are we done for he had a accusation yeah he had a yeah that's fine super thize me a duper thai Nazi but um i do love

I mean again I actually I really really like this movie. It stuck with me. I really enjoy it. I love the beginning. I love that... That cold open is devastating. Cold open's great. You know, he's doing the thing he's going to die. It's just him in Nebula. It's kind of an awkward. We do a lot of great...

No, wait a second. I'm talking about the cold open of this movie. Oh, yes. With Hawkeye. The family BBQ there. Yeah. And dude, I thought the fucking movie started at the wrong part. Really? I'm sitting there. I'm looking around like, is anybody else seeing this? Well, it's in the middle of the movie. Oh, here it comes.

That's where I was like, oh, boy. It finally sunk in what was happening. And I liked, because I will say one thing really that stuck out, I thought Downey was really good here. Yeah. And I like, she only has three scenes, but I really like the Larson. Yeah. But I thought Renner really stuck the landing here. He definitely did.

And it's kind of, it was actually like, and I, that's why I like about this V Infinity 4. And like, I think that what Infinity War, I mean, like, the problem of Infinity War now, it just feels like a place setting for this movie. But it was, I mean, I'm sorry, but like, to me, it always felt like that was going to be. Oh, no, exactly. But I mean, like, even more so now that I know what it is. And it's like, oh, cool, now we've cleared the deck and it's just these Avengers and just the quote unquote original Avengers, plus a raccoon and War Machine. And Batman. And Batman. And then Captain Marvel. But, you know, mostly just this, we're, and we're really focusing on it. And this is,

that's the benefit of this movie is you get to see these characters again. And you get to sort of like, this feels like the third Avengers movie in the way that Infinity War does not. Yeah, but you're saying because everything's paired down and we can focus for at least a little bit. Yes. Yeah, no, I see that. And you know what, man? I am a fucking sucker

for two things. The band getting the band back together and five years later jokes. And guess what you got in this movie? I'm all for both of those things. Absolutely. No, I'm kind of totally fine with it. But so we go to space. We find where Thanos is, Captain Marvel saves,

him. We get to, I, I kind of want a movie a just Danos Farman dude. He's got these comfortable clothes. He's made, Sawa movie. Yeah, totally. He's making, it reminded me a Kurosawa movie that shows me where my brain is going, it reminded me that part of generations where fucking Kirk's making that big oblet. You totally right. He, he has found peace. Yes. He's all alone. The difference is Kirk doesn't really know where he is. He's kind of ignoring it. But yeah, and he's like hurt and just kind of craggly making soup or whatever he's he's definitely cooking something he's foraging and cooking

which i'm like oh this is a movie yeah like an asian passion fruit he's picking in his backyard so what is so thanos is that you know he's done he's done his work he's very satisfied does he have like books is he going to paint more like what is it maybe going to try and get back in shape a little bit like oh thanos is like grabbing his belly i think he's going to finally focus on his music okay he builds himself like a little drum set yeah they'd learn the bongos. Yeah, a loot. It's my noise project. You wouldn't... I'm going to just send some stuff out there,

some feelers to friends. It's our alien metal machine music. It's my first go at it. Hey, you haven't heard from me in 12 years, but I'm really proud of this record. I'm really proud of this record. Really hoping that the good people at Pitchfork get it. You know what I mean?

I brought a laptop with me. I've been making some beats. I'm going to send them to Kendrick I think he'll like them I think he's got an open mind for this kind of alien beach stuff Oh what's that? He was erased by the snap Fuck sorry Kendrick

All right two chains then And you know honestly being in this Weird farmhouse I've built for myself Really informed the music you can hear Those natural sounds coming in Oh wait somebody cut my fucking head off I was really influenced by Ryuchi Sakamoto

his reflections of nature I thought they were really good but beats these are beats with heavy drums and that's what you need to make it in this business uh yes they confront him he says that he destroyed the infant we're not going to go to the plot but basically I love how to prevent ourselves from doing that

because it's we hate movies you got to talk about it no but I just I love that Thorac cuts his fucking head off here it's righteous cut too and you know he's coming back like you know what I mean that's not one of those things I'm like oh it's cheap I know he's coming back but it's like oh that's like holy shit we just cut his head off because I was like they're going to put him in prison or something or no they cut his fucking I mean

it's because it just looks like you're cutting off the head of a peep yeah and that's how you get away with the violence I guess because he is a big purple peep absolutely I mean this is the most violent thing you've seen in an MCU movie yeah sure and Hemsworth fucking nails the line here too because they're like what did you do and he says I went for the head which is the shit talking from the last movie which was which was pretty nice

if you would press out my hair in live for three seconds pass on my albums look under the dresser find my notebooks have to buy some sick rhymes Risa said I had a lot of talent I left that email

as send later why just hit send now please you know and the interesting thing to me about the five years later is I don't consider it a cheap device it's a nice way to see people like just settled in we take a fucking break from it all

and it's like we're learning to live with it like I really liked Steve Rogers as just like dude at the community center having like the grief meeting you know what I really liked that scene but it was ruined for me because of the fucking hype thing they did right with the director

I was like why but it means nothing it means a lot because it's the first time these movies actually explicitly acknowledge homosexuality but it also like it's 20 movies too late you know what I mean so just I would sweep that under the rug like hey do it definitely do it but don't congratulate well exactly just leave it in there I don't need a fucking press conference about it like it was a marketing ploy to me like everybody was gonna see this movie yeah sure everybody it was not going to add to anything to fucking say like yes some guy says that he was in love with a man in this but it's it's I think it's gutsy in so far as and I mean like again it's 20 movies too late or 21 movies too

Like, you know what I mean? Like, but I think it's gutsy enough to do it in your biggest movie to say, hey, look, let's... Gay people exist. Gay people, but I mean, like, it does, even though it's way too late and it's in a shallow and it's cynical, it does sort of matter to see Steve Rogers say, hey, man, good for you. You know what I mean? Like, that's kind of... We're not disagreeing with you. Oh, no, yeah.

It's just way too late. No, but we're also just saying, like, the fact that they went around on a fucking press tour and it was like, hey, watch out for my cameo where I'm playing a gay guy. Leave it in the movie and let people after the fact be like, oh, you know, it was one of my favorite scenes was when that happened. Also, I've had this like coded fucking fucking Bucky and Steve Rogers thing going on for fucking years. I would say the biggest

twist of this entire movie is that Steve Rogers was straight the whole time. I'm like, wait, what? What movies was I watching? Now that's a big, if it turns out it's him and fucking some guy, Bucky or somebody else dancing at the end of it. Or Sam, dude. Sam's involved. Go right ahead.

I was like, wait, hold on. He's been love with the who? Because you see it in Winter Soldier. It's got what's her face from that Disney show there. The blonde woman, the Emily Van Meter. From Agents of Shield. Agents of Shield. She's like going after him. He's like, no, no, no, I can't.

And then like, no, no, no, I can't because I'm in love with a woman. But I'm also only thinking about this one guy all of the time who is really handsome as well and we kiss each other. No, we don't kiss each other. He's just beautiful eyes. I really like the

R.D.J. living in a cabin on the lake. Oh, sure. Pepper and their kid kind of a thing. I love that. I do love that. I like that the kid thing is there and actually adds a complication to the movie because that's why he says no initially because you know. And it's kind of cool because you have this like,

but I feel like it's one of those like you have to wish better at the end of the movie. Like, why don't you snap your fingers and be like, I snap because I want everybody to come back now and not later. And I also want no one, I would want no one to remember the horror of the last five years you know what i mean like yeah i would want that i would want uh you get vision back in there

like you know really sit down and write this thing out you know what how about uh you know i know pepper doesn't remarry snap how about that do you see fucking foggies swooping right in man like oh i'll give you those cheeseburgers kid you want to step down happy my friend oh happy right foggy's the dare no no he's going to be plowing at may he's going to be plowed at dude why is it man at that funeral so like i forget the first Spider-Man. Does she know that he's Spider-Man at the end of that movie? Yes. That's the ending of the movie. Oh, okay. So then there it is.

Oh, Aunt May. I thought you were saying Ant-Man. I was like, of course Ant-Man's at the fucking funeral, Steve. Well, no. You didn't. She's there. Spider-Man's not driving there himself. Oh, that's true. You got to say somebody. A fucking child. So the five years later thing, like, what do we like? What do we don't like? Well, here's what I didn't like. And this was one of the few times in the movie out was like, too easy plot, too easy. is like Tony Stark hanging out one evening.

It's the classic Iron Man. I'm making all these compounds and whatever's by just moving blocks around to virtual reality table. And then he's like, if I just put this brick there, up time travel. I will tell you that Steve Sadek movie Matrix because I saw the ones in the zeros of that scene.

I'm like, it's time to go to the bathroom. And that's what I did. And I come back and my buddy's like, oh, they figured out time travel. I was like, I know they do. Wait, are you serious? Yeah. That's the exact same time I went to the bathroom. Oh, really nice. Exactly same time. It's the right time. Wow. That is the right time to use the restroom in that film because it's, of course, he's going to figure it out and he figures it out.

Can I tell you guys something? What's that? Commercials, previews, every last second of that film till the last frame of the credits, no bathroom break. Wow. You know, right here. Talk to me in a decade when you got stones. At the end of the movie, you said, no, I'm Iron Man. And snap your finger as you went out of the theater. You piss yourself. Yeah, no, I was covered in urine, but I didn't get up to go to the best. Yeah, the Hulk bit I like. It's a nice arc for him.

I was shocked that this didn't look like garbage. It looks fantastic. Actually, it's one of the better looking things in the movie, in my opinion. He looks too much like Ruffalo. Well, that's the point, isn't it? But, like, I guess, like, you're supposed to believe because, like it emerged he's smaller too he's not as big as the Hulk has been shown to be I just six sweaters too I was just the little taken out by it especially in the diner scene where it's just

kind of like I don't know about like I was still you're disturbed I it's disturbed is the word like I was just kind of like oh okay okay can we get away from this now because you also know people are going to be writing about fucking that Hulk like that Hulk specifically it's going to be fucking everybody of course I can't wait for the deviant art pages that are the fucking that Hulk works for NPR. He does. Yeah. It was the stupid gag. Well, thanks for having me, Terry. It's really nice to be here finally. The stupid gag in that scene, though, is I was like, oh, he's got a big tray of food. Oh, yeah. Well, the selfie thing I didn't need either. That was very stupid. Like, I feel like the Hulk wouldn't be a fan favorite. Yeah. I don't know, but he's a big green monster.

Like, holy shit. I want to say, but he's like friendly. Like, yeah, I guess so. That's the benefit of all of them dying is because now he can take the top spot that's true now I'm the most famous Avengers fucking Black Panther is gone all the guardians I do think that like yeah again like the five years later helps a little bit

and there are scenes of like that like Scarlett Johansson like running the Avengers which AI like you know her getting kind of a bump up and pay yeah but also like oh man we have to take care of the world etc etc like the world would be in ruins like let's let's let's let's I mean look and

again it's five years later it's that's the threat of the movie you just aren't allowed to pull on because the whole thing falls apart yeah there's still it would be mad max out there it would be fucking mad max it absolutely would be like the cleanup efforts over the last five years like maybe the avengers got some stuff in yes but it's still a fucking like did the president get fucking taken out is there other crossed oh yeah that's right the snap uh oh i'm writing an executive order and then maybe that's when you make your wish like i want everyone to come back but I did like how

I mean it's awesome that she and Captain America specifically because they have that good scene in the office they're like miserable and it's like this is the fucking existence now it's not even in their heads really to like we've given up on trying to fix it and it's like

fuck it what's on fire in what country somewhere like this is just what we are and it's an emotional the emotion works in that scene for me because they're both really good in it to me. Those scenes, I mean, I think we were talking to a friend of show, Jamal Bowie, about this, where, like, it's the down scenes that really work for me in this. Yeah, yeah.

But, like, sometimes they don't, they just don't stick the landing. And, like, the action, the one action scene I was actually really into was Toki in Tokyo. Oh, that's kind of cool. And I was like, I want more. Like, this is a world I really would like to see. Like, get the John Wick director to do something like this. Isn't that, like, a comic thread for a while? Is him doing, yeah, he's a new character called Ronan.

Like he calls him Ronan. He does a lot of dirty shit. There is a, they might do a Disney Plus show of Hawkeye only with Renner. They're talking about it. Well, I heard that that was confirmed with him and then also a Scarlet Witch show. But the whole thing was like, is this going to be cartoons? I can't imagine they're physically filming TV shows. They're doing Falcon and Bucky, right? Are they?

Yeah, that's one of the shows for sure. Okay. Well, because that's what these movies have been. been anyway they've all been TV shows so like you get somebody for they're probably 10 episodes whatever you just do it yeah takes almost as much time as it takes to make the movie you know what I mean I'm I'm just saying I would be shocked if it was live actually it would be cool but I have a feeling it's going to be cartoons uh so the plot obviously is like we go to time travel I like the time travel bit I mean it again it's one of those it was one of those threads you don't pull on either because it doesn't

well time travel never does it don't dare with time travel logic although I really loved the whole thing of like are you saying that like you know this time travel movie is bullshit that time travel movies and they're just like naming all these things pretty funny little gag there i like a lot of don chytle in this actually cheetaheel was awesome he's got a lot of stuff to do i like the scene with him and nebula like we're both we're not what we used to be kind of a thing yeah i was kind of surprised any of that worked but it did for me anyway i don't know it's a pairing i didn't see coming yeah i was like oh he got teamed with her well this is going to be weird i mean i was very shruggy about like this is around the area where I was like okay I'm this I'm feeling these three

hours I do yeah this is I will say this part takes a little long like there's a lot of Tilda Switten here which she's good but it's like we're just going to get that stone right you're just going to give them that stone but that was another thing where I was like wow they got her oh no that was big that was pretty cool I was the wow they got her but question question mark did they get her is Natalie Portman which I guess is audio only like she that was unused dark world's footage but she 80-yard some stuff for it. Oh, is that right? Because I was like, did they get her question mark weird?

Oh, God, we can't get Natalie. Well, Renee is cheap these days. Oh, yeah. You can't get Renee Russo. Cracking them fingers. What do we think of Fat Thor? I love Fat Thor. Big fan of Fat Thor.

I thought it was funny. I'm indifferent. Like, it's the same thing with the Hulk where I'm just like, I don't know what you're trying to get at here. Because you also have to take his shit seriously because he's saying goodbye to his mother. But that's not telling her. And I thought it worked because he's such a great actor, I think. And he can really play comedy well.

And he was turning that shit on a dime, I thought, very successfully. Well, yeah, it's like, I'm a fat, big clown. And it's, like, it's played for laughs, but it's also played for like, oh, no, this guy's, like, totally dealing with trauma. You know what I mean? Like, yeah, he's got a little fat suit on. It's kind of like, whatever. But playing Fortnite, come on. It's as bad as the selfie to me.

is them like him and Taiki Watiti I like the Taiki Watiti stuff I don't know I'm a clown Fortnite and you're fucking with beer like I mean I do the

the oh I'm gonna you basement dweller I'm yelling at somebody on Fortnite is like the oldest joke at the book at this point like that's kind of like yeah

that I didn't like I mean I do like I like that he's just a big fat alcoholic I like I was shocked Tessa Thompson had as much play in this movie as she did that was pretty awesome

like she's really just in this movie which is pretty cool and she's riding on that fucking horse great. Call that a Pegasus, my friend. Yeah, I know. Flying horse or whatnot. I guess with the Thor thing, I was just much more into Rocket, like, what he was doing. I was like, I just like him.

Of course. And Bradley Cooper's voice work is fucking insane. He's so good in this movie. He's really fucking good. I got to say, the fucking king of fuck you pay me a Sean gun right now. The scam he's running on Disney. Good. It's not half bad. You could Oh, you couldn't make a rock a raccoon movie without Sean Gunn doing the motion cap work, could you? Yeah, you could. Where else are we going to find a skinny white guy?

Where? Or anybody. It's a fucking record. It's a motion capture for a raccoon. Like, anyone could do it. Anyone can play that trash panda. It's just like, Bradley Cooper is just like, they run into each other apart. He's like, oh, man, you did it.

You motherfucker. This motherfucker right here has got the best job in Hollywood. I didn't have to leave my house and you didn't have to memorize a single fucking line. High five. That's when you get the you piece of shit text, but it's like totally in admiration. Yeah, exactly.

It took me a second. At the end of the movie, all the credits of every single human being that's ever been alive. And I was like, Sean Gunn, did his ravager show? Oh, no, that's right. Of course. And he's in the credits, too.

Oh, is he? I didn't even notice. Oh, I really like the concept of New Asgard. I thought that was kind of cool. That's a comics thing, which is kind of... Oh, really? But in the comics, it's floating, which is kind of cooler. Ooh, even better, Sky City.

It kind of reminded me a little bit of where Aquaman's hanging out a little bit, not for nothing. Oh, yeah. But I like, I like that whole thing. And, you know, the time travel stuff is fun. Cap versus Cap is a cool one. That was pretty cool. I like that. And I like the bucky.

The ass joke is very funny to me. Yeah. I mean, the ass is just wonderful. It's, I mean, you can't not talk about it. America's ass. And he, Evans is good enough at comedy where he's looking at his unconscious ass Like, yeah, that is America's ass

I was like, that joke plays Oh, paid off. Slapp. And I mean, like, yeah, I do think the 1970s sequence takes a little too long. Like, I just need a little long. I need a less slattery there. Like, I do understand it's important

for what you'd be called for Steve Rogers to see, Peggy Carter and to have that thing. Also, I love scenes deleted Kenjong. Bye bye, dude. Oh, right. right as security guard number four or whatever. You know he had lines

and you know there is a bit of funny. He's the security guard where Antman is. Oh, okay. And then like, it's just like, you see him and he's about to go and they cut it and I'm like, yeah, that's good, John. I think his mouth opened like just a crack and it was like cut. Like, yeah, that's just the right amount of whatever that character was. And I was at this point, like, kind of thinking like, oh my God, there's no action

in this movie. And then of course the last hour is action. Which is I think like there were so many people I was seeing saying like oh the first however it's so fucking boring and nothing happens it's like dude can you imagine just watching three hours of that shit no it'd be too much it would be intolerable I will say I liked parts of this the big climactic fight but for a minute there I was like this is way too ready player one that that charge too I was like oh no I actually my thought in the theater was like that's ready player one done right because it like if at least has the stakes

to it. You've got all the shit. But I agree. It is very ready player one. And I would like I guess I would feel better about that if like Thanos had actual side villains and not just gray fucking beasts. That's the problem that's carried over from the first movie is he needs lieutenants that actually matter

that are people. And like and don't snively whiplash or whatever that fucking guy is. Get like you know like B tier avenger villains that are like people. You know what I mean? Well what's that character M. Somerset Maugh? Oh, what's that guy? Oh, Proxima midnight?

No, that's a different one. The guy who's all like, bra. That's the guy I was calling a snively whiplash because the weird nose. Yeah, he's like that dude, it's like, all right.

I don't need enough of it. And he fucking sucks, and he just makes things float. Yeah. I mean, since you're setting it up, you were setting it up at the end of Dr. Strange, get you what he has you for in there.

He's doing something. Right, yeah, where's his ass? He's going to be Dr. Strange, too, for sure. Oh, yeah. But I mean, like, I don't know, like, whatever. Like, you got the abomination from the Hulk movie. Maybe, like, they get him. He recruits, like, the baddest motherfuckers of the galaxy to do his bidding.

Yeah. And it would, like, because that was alone? Get that guy. Was he a villain or no? No, he's a good guy. He's a good guy. He's a good guy. Oh, Thedos pays pretty well.

Yeah, that's exactly how you get around that. Yeah, it's fine. Like, but it would be something. I agree. Like, I do think, like, so much of the fight is, like, Josh Brolin and also Rans versus every actor in America. yeah and yeah all these fucking crab people yeah because even when the crab people are chasing hawkeye I'm like well it's just the crab people I kind of like that was the best use of the crab people for me it was kind of cool it's like it's a it's a manageable four on one and I could tell what was going on exactly a lot of it is just like oh we can't do all this stuff there's so many people yeah we get then everybody comes back spider man's there I like the interplay with her and uh with captain marvel and spider man where she's like hey she's talking she's like literally talking to him like a little kid like, hey Peter Parker, can I hold that for a while? Yeah, totally. Yeah, I did like all the hot potato. Yes.

With the gauntlet. That was kind of cool. You know, and it's interesting. Like, I understand people were like, because people were talking about this with Battle of Winterfell. Similarly, like, oh, it was hard to follow. Not the lighting thing with Battle of Winterfell, but just like, so much stuff's going on. It's just a big fight. It's confusing. It's like, well, that's what a battle is. And that's what those big George Perez motherfucking comic book spreads of like I mean they're instill

and you're a nerd you look at all the little interactions but I mean it's happening over in real time in comparison in the Game of Thrones

they did not film it through a potato sack so cheese claw I don't know it was tough you know

it was tough but that's a whole we were talking about I wasn't I shot it and it wasn't well and it's true

it's a product of fucking streaming and we can do another podcast about that But that's what that was. By the fucking final season the Game of Thrones on Blu-ray,

I guarantee you. You'll be able to see it. It'll be totally fine. But yeah, I mean, I like a lot of the fight stuff. I like, you kind of get your, when Scarlet Witch comes back,

it reminds me very much of the Mother Weasley versus... Oh. Versus, not Voldemort, Beatrix, Beltrick's Lestrange there. Yes, that's a good call. Stay away from her, you bitch,

or whatever that line is. It's like, you take everything from me. It's like, I don't know who you are. And she's like, you will. That was a fucking good line, too. Was that an applause line in your theater? Any applause? Oh, man.

What's a theater? I had a group of kids behind me that were losing their minds. Oh, really? At everything. At everything. The Star Lord came back on skirt. Fucking, you know, Captain America fights Captain America. Pah!

Holyma! Yeah. I was in a dead silent theater. Really? I saw it on Sunday after it came out. And I think it was a thing, I was on vacation, I was in the South. I think people were just very polite at the theater. And it was dead silent.

And what was really interesting to me, because I thought about when we saw Infinity War. Yes. And that theater was fucking going. Hootin and hollering, yeah. And there was not a single thing. No, there was something. I saw it Saturday night in Chelsea, and there was a lot of hoots and some hollers. I've never missed a New York City movie.

theater audience more than watching this movie in South Carolina and just it was like is the old Roddy Dangerfield joke on the Simpsons if it gets any crazy in here a fucking funeral is going to break out. The big one was I never I didn't get it at first because I don't remember

the fucking cut scene from age of Ultron but when fucking Captain America gets Fat Hammer or whatever it's called Mjolnar What? Mionier Molonir. Yeah Mionier

Thoris Hammer Match a green tea Yeah Like they lost it It's a big moment It was cool Of fucking screams That was a big one for me too

And they telegraph it nicely though Is because you see the hammer flying first And it's like well if he's there It was a nice bit of editing And It's so much of this movie watching experience for me Was in my head being like This is the one that's going to set them off

Yes And there was not It was dead silent the whole fucking time. The two big interactions for my audience. One, I still don't understand. So Tony Stark obviously dies at the end. And that is a great exchange.

You know, Danos has got a new catchphrase for this one, which is I am inevitable. Right. And he goes, I am Iron Man. He snaps his fingers. And he goes away. And he starts dying. And then you get the Spider-Man, oh, no, Mr. Stock. Oh, geez. You know, dude, are you a baby or are you an adult? He's a high school kid.

No, we got to go back and have so many. Egg creams, back in Queens, Mr. Stock, Mr. Stock, what's all this blood coming out of your mouth? And there's this moment where he's like, oh, jeez, Mr. Stock. And then, like, Pepper Pot is like, hi, that's my husband. Can I have a minute? Like, could I just? Well, everybody gets a minute. Because Rody gets a minute.

Spider-Man gets a minute. And, dude, her fucking, we're all okay now, Tony. You can rest now. So two things. One, when that happens, this guy's like, finally which i don't understand if at which part wait at which part when pepper pots relieves peter parker now it means either one he was had because there was i was with four people everyone had different opinions yeah one it's because this guy didn't like iron man he wanted him

to die question mark okay two this guy was like tired of the movie at this point is like fucking let this fucking asshole die so i can get out of here that's two three my opinion is is the pepper pots like finally let pepper pots talk to her god goddamn dying husband. You're missing the fourth one. He's clearly the only male goop reader. Oh, yes. Yeah, Pepper.

Oh, yeah. I will say, you've got some good recipes, girl. And this is the thing that I like about this movie is it does pay attention to, like a lesser movie would have less Gweth Paltrow, but this movie knows it needs a lot

of Gwyneth Paltrow to succeed. And I think that that is very cool. She's even in an Iron Man suit. That was awesome. Exactly. It's something people have wanted to see in movies for a long time. She gets there.

I do like, and I'm sure a lot of people, people on the internet didn't like it when all the women when captain marvel gets the glove it's like and spider was like how you got to get through all those guys and every woman is like we've got it and that's that was a little bit of a and it's like it's one of those things it worked for me it's it's it's on the nose but it's unapologetically on the nose it's it's very obvious and it wasn't intended to be anything but yes it was nice it was cool to see i don't know just waves of yoss queens my theater was there oh that was there oh that was

That would take me out of it. You know what? Can I tell you something? That expression needs to put on the gauntlet and say its own expression and snap its fingers and kill itself. Yep. Turn to dust, my friend. I'm just so tired of it. I also, but when Tony Stark died, and I mean, when he died to the end of the movie,

there was this woman behind me like her mother died. And I mean, like... Is she the one that got hospitalized? Openly, like, deeply sobbing. Wow. really? I've been at like, I've been at many funerals and I don't think I've ever heard this much cry. Wow. And like, and just every time, like, you thought it was going to end and then we get to the funeral. I was like, oh, no. Like, she was just like, I mean, I totally, I'm not making

fun of her, but I just found it fascinating. I mean, the amount of emotion that happened at this moment. I was crying in this movie. I got choked up. I wasn't bawling. Tears were coming down my face. But I think it's fascinating because it's like you've spent. Sure. Over a decade watching these various characters and various movies and stuff and we're in our 30s and these started in our 20s but if these started when we were in our fucking

when we were 8 years old, 9 years old, 10 years old and now we're in our 20s? grew up with Robert Downey Jr. His Iron Man, like I can see that being Oh for sure. A big thing. Absolutely. But openly weeping. People, come on.

Let's get it together. It's a Disney movie. Oh, Paul Rudd looks so good at a tuxedo. Let's talk about the funeral. shot. Sure. I like that funeral shot. I think it was asking a bit much from the audience having the kid from Iron Man 3 in the back there. Oh, was he there? I didn't notice him. That was that because it's like, it goes to Hawkeyes family. Yes. And then goes back over the other way. And there's just this little kid. And I'm like, who the fuck? And then it just kept going. And you get Maria Hill.

And then Captain Marvel's there. And then Sam Jackson. You got William Hurt back. I don't even the key. He knew he was in these movies. William Hurt. it was behind that kid so then I was like wait well who the fuck was it yeah is it like Jennifer Connelly's son I had the same moment too and then I didn't I just it left my brain

until I came my sister to look it up after the movie I was like I don't know who this person is and it was the little boy that would be friends in Iron Man 3 supposedly but it's like yeah you don't need it you don't have to go that far no get Jennifer Connolly didn't need the extra point

is Jennifer Connolly in the second talk Or no, was it Liv Tyler? It's Liv Tyler. It's Liv Tyler. That first Hulk's in the garbage. That's right. I forgot about that. The second Hulk still sort of counts.

I'm still pissed me whenever we go to Mark Ruffalo Hulk. Yeah, I don't get this. Let's just do it. Let's just do it. He's great. It's because they haven't been able to pull off the Sony switch with Universal. Oh, is that what they do for Spider-Ring? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, he's allowed to be an Avengers movies only. Yeah, Universal has, if you look, that incredible Hulk movie, that's a universal movie. God, as is the only one. So, wait, has, is Universal. Is Universal just refusing to make this Hulk movie? I guess they don't see it as financially viable. Well, no, I mean, I think it's probably more Marvel saying you can't make this movie. Come on, give us the rights. Come on. Give us the right.

We'll block you. Legally. It's the, it's the Mr. Bernstein. Come on, move it. He's too. Yeah, exactly. But I would watch that. I would totally watch.

I would do that. And I like this new direction they have with him where he's smart enough and it's kind of in the middle there. It was cool because, like, I am not. the biggest Hulk smash guy and I think like what they were doing there in Ragnarok was kind of getting me a little better with the Hulk you know and so to see what they came up with and I never I don't know I'm sure that's a thing that happens in the comics I was like oh he's kind of like

beast oh that's interesting yeah that's fun I'm still shocked thinking about it now that that looks okay yeah I am too I was like oh he's gonna be this the whole time I mean he looks like a guy that would hold up the line at Whole Foods because his quinoa isn't exactly correct, but I wanted the mixed kind, not just the white pearls.

Exactly. The funeral scene worked for me. It was cool. I mean, again, yeah, I mean, there's just so much to talk about this movie, but I really just, I like all the wrap up stuff. I like Thor going with the Guardians of the Galaxy. He makes Valkyrie the King there, and I'm sure that bothered somebody else.

Oh, God damn it! and I'm kind of curious what they do with all I'm actually like genuinely curious what the next sort of batch is going to be aside from obviously Spider-Man homecoming and Black Panther 2 and far from home sir oh far from home that's kind of what I'm worried about is that it doesn't seem to me at least from trailers maybe I'll be proven wrong here but like it doesn't seem like they've changed much because like Spider-Man far from home looks similar to homecoming. I think that that's kind of the problem with this And that maybe you need a dropped line Where like you explain that no one remembers those five years Because like it's how are you going to talk about anything else Like hey remember my dad was dead for five years And now my dad's not dead anymore

That's fucking weird Also does God exist Why am I still Catholic if Thanos is around? Like you don't know what I mean like any of that shit I mean I don't think we're toppling organized religion In these movies However I think it's a thing where it's just going to be public knowledge this happened. What happened? We got away for the

Plastic Man movie before we talked of religion. Oh, that's a DC, my friend. Oh, shit. Shut up. Totally fair. I mean, because what's, what was interesting to me was in the scene where Steve Rogers is doing the support group thing. Yeah. He says like, hey man, Thanos happened. It's a reality. So like

that tells me, everybody knows the score. So it's like, hey, the Avengers did it. Yes. Yay. And it's like, yeah, people are going to be fucked up. But it's a good kind of fucked up. Maybe they brought the head back then? Like, look, we got him. Hey, everybody, we got one. Dude, then it's just like the Star Wars celebration.

Everybody's just dancing. Oh, did John McCain bring it out? We got him. Or now do people don't believe that he died on that planet? Oh, yeah, you killed Thanos on another planet. Right. And scattered his ashes in the water. Yeah, right.

Yeah, right. Well, yeah, all these people come back to an economy that is wrecked. Yeah. There's no job. Who is it? No, is it flourishing, man. Half the people are gone. It has to be a one world government, dude. Yeah, you got, at that point you've got it.

Now we're a Star Trek society. Yes. I think is the thing. God bless it. Fucking finally, dude, just one world government. That's it. My question, and it's a loose end for me, is Gomorrah of the old timeline still fucking around?

Or was she tenos away? She's dead. She's dead. The one that comes back. Oh, the still evil one? Yes, who winds up turned. turning face. I think she's still around. Oh, so that she's alive.

Okay, so that's interesting. I think that's what they're going to do. That's what we'll make Guardians 3 kind of interesting is like getting her back on the team. I also read something that Chris Hemsworth re-signed a contract back in 2017. Oh, he's definitely going to be that next Guardian's movie. Which would be rad. As to what capacity, I don't really know.

But it would be, I mean, it was funny watching him have a fucking dick off with Chris Pratt. In my head, I was like, no, let Thor pilot the ship. Just let him do it. It would be awesome. I'd rather watch Crimson. self was worth than Chris Pratt? 100%. Exactly. And you know what?

You know me. I'm a fan of a little wordplay. As Guardians of the Galaxy, not too shabby. I think if they've actually done that before. Is that right? Yeah, probably in the comics. I'm almost positive, but maybe I'm making it up. Maybe I'm making it up. I also appreciate... Fuck you, man. Fuck you.

Fuck you. I also liked that the funeral scene allowed for Benedict Cumberbatch to get out of that outfit for two seconds. Because that shit has to fucking smell. Let my balls breathe.

Does he have the cape or no? No, he's just wearing a suit. He looks handsome as far. Is the cape have a tuxedo? Well, that's the thing. The cape is mourning by the tree. The cape is sentient. The cape fucking ghosted his funeral.

Like, ah, fuck that guy anyway. He made fun of me. You know what, dude. You know what, I'm going to say it. I'm glad that guy's dead. Yeah, that's right. I'm a cape. And I'm glad that guy's dead.

I'm talking, I'm a cape. That too. I mean, like, honestly, give margarine a tuxedo too. What is the hammer name again? Mule. Okay, margarine. Oh, nice little moment when slattery's getting into that car, that fucking little gas bag next to him was Jarvis.

Oh, yeah. Thought that was kind of nice. I mean, all of that, most all of the cameos worked for me because it did feel. And that's why I'm sort of curious what this next act is going to be, because this felt so, not final, final. Oh, we should talk about Captain America as well. Yeah. But so, like, and that's the end of this story.

It felt that way. See, here's the thing. I didn't get that. Okay. And maybe it's because these movies are so ubiquitous that, like, you can't escape the fact that they're planning 1,500 more movies. So I didn't feel any finality. I was like, oh, well, this is all going to keep on going on.

And now, like, two people aren't here. Yeah. And I was like, all right. I think that's kind of a cynical way to look at it, though, because, like, I don't know where you would go with, like, another Avengers movie. Like, yes, there's going to be another Black Panther. Yes, there's going to be another Guardians. But, like, as far as team-up movies, I don't see a big team.

Like, now Thor's with Guardians. Yeah. Okay, that's a thing. Yeah. I don't think anybody's going to be dropping into Wakanda. I mean, I think there will be another Avengers movie. The cast will look very different. You think they would call it, like, the Avengers, though, and they would do that?

Yeah, I do. but not for a bit. Like the new Avengers or who knows what? Do you think that they would do so we can get into the cat? What's that? That's another,

the new Avengers is the real thing. Is that image comics? Did we do an episode on that cartoon? You get to the steam coming out of my ears. What's that? Was that new Avengers?

Oh, that was the West Coast Avengers. Yeah, yeah. Um, sorry. Oh, well, so with like Steve Rogers, you know, he goes back in time to hide all the stones again.

And he decides, because they, you know, the Hall of, is like yeah it's going to be five seconds for us it's going to be however long it takes for him yeah he goes back in time he lives his whole life with Peggy

he gets to live his best life it's fucking great and he comes back in old man decent age makeup great age makeup yeah for a minute there to be honest I thought that was Salinger's son oh wow

that would be what what a way to close the universe like I did think it was a different dude for a second I thought it It was like some saving private Ryan shit. Because he's also, first of all, he's dressed like that guy. He's wearing that fucking sweater. I couldn't believe it.

But I do think specifically when he grabs Sam's hand at the end, they only focus on the hand. That's just an old man hand. They got an old man hand model. Because hands are tougher than faces, I think. Hands are very tougher than faces. When he tells him to fucking try it on. Yeah. I was the waterworks again.

And that's why I was surprised to know, I didn't know that they were doing a Falcon and Bucky show where he's going to be. Captain America. That's kind of cool. It's fucking boss. I assumed we weren't got a Falcon Captain American movie maybe ever but we would get a like the New Avengers movie with him as Captain America in it. Right. So does that give credence then to this these Disney plus things might be live action?

They could and this. I mean what the guy's name? What's the guy's name? Who plays Bucky? Oh, Sebastian Stan. Yeah, like him and Anthony Mackey are about TV actor level. Oh, totally. Yeah. Like, you could do that movie. Elizabeth Olson could do a TV show. Jeremy Renner now. Like, yeah, I mean, you know.

No, I guess you're right. Maybe right after Hurt Locker, he's too big, but like now he can do it. And again, like, everybody's doing TV. Everybody, like, Tom Hardy is a TV show. You know what I mean? Like, these guys open these shows. Yeah. He's on peeky blinders and you do.

Oh, the taboo's over. I mean, especially like streaming, but the streaming thing, I'm not sure. I don't know. But I can foresee these things being live action. That's, I mean, it would be total. cool. I'd be down with it. Sure. I mean, I watched a couple episodes of that, Agent Carter. I watched the first season of Agents of Shield.

They were things I watched. Those are things that happened. Agent Carter's, I thought, was pretty good. No Colson at all about him. I was going to say, yeah, pretty surprising. It's weird that he didn't come back in this movie, kind of, because he's alive right in that timeline or whatever. Does he die at that show? You didn't see it?

Wait, you just see Samuel Jackson hoisting up his corpse in a tuxedo? Is he killed off in that show, though? No, he's back. I think there's some weird. like some weird well I know that because he's on that show for multiple seasons but like he's still alive

oh did he die again is the show over with or not no the show's got another season coming nobody knows about it but it's been on hiatus I think since the Guardians you know what

nobody gives you shit because nobody gives the shit but I mean Colson was briefly in Captain Marvel there oh Captain Marvel detail that was fucking tits dude her awesome

hair cut yeah A plus it was awesome I'm way into it Nice getting that in there. And I also like Rocker Recruing making fun of it. It's funny. I was surprised no Nick Fury lines at all in this movie.

I think that was okay. I mean, it's fine. Like, yeah, you know, I have like, you know, because I think whatever he would say would work. You'd be like, oh, he should have just been quiet. Well, that's, I mean, and he just had Captain Marvel where he's talking a blue streak. Oh, yeah.

He's like the name of the Avengers. He's doing the whole thing. Absolutely. I was totally fine with that. But yeah, the haircut was fucking. it was you know what here's why it was just as powerful because he wasn't initially in frame yes he fucking walks into this movie at the end of it so it was like boom that's the big applause like everybody's there you see him and then he's the hammer like in the end memoriam montage the last

one's always the big one yeah it's totally true dude did that bring the house down when he walked out no nobody I mean nobody really yeah nobody on mine either that was I mean it's a funeral you got to be quiet. Plus this woman again is like devastating. Was it like, could you feel that energy of like the rest of the theater was feeling that douche chill that you were? Oh yeah, because I mean she was right behind

us but she's I mean and I mean again and like I totally get it. You've been with these movies forever. Da-da-da-da. People get reacted differently than not making fun of crying per se but wow was this. And you're never going to see that butt again.

Yeah, that's a excellent. cheeks and they're gone. Yeah, the butt. You know, I was thinking, because Tony Stark takes 16 seconds to invent time travel. Isn't it feasible? Because you get that little hologram

of him at the end there, which I thought was going to be more of a will reading. And in fact, was way more of a private message and not for group consumption. No, definitely not. That was a little bit embarrassing.

Well, I mean, if you're pepper pots, you got to watch that by yourself first. And then see who's invited. Yeah, no, come on, happy. You fucked it up, dude. You're like, come on, everybody. She's going to watch the video now. You know, Sebastian Sand, you could fucking go to the bed.

You can be outside. Way outside by the food. You know what, dude? I don't even know who you are. I mean, isn't it conceivable that, and it's not going, because he's clearly done with it. But if a few years pass and he's like, oh, maybe I'm missing having a million cars or whatever it is. Oh, we found out Tony uploaded his consciousness into this computer plus hologram technology. which if you invented time travel in 16 seconds

hologram technology is pretty easy then it's just an empty suit walking around talking like Robert Downey Jr. Super Ultron. Yeah, or like he's the new Jarvis. Force ghost. I mean, that's what I'm really worried about is I'm going to get a forced ghost, Tony.

I don't want that. Leave it be. I beg of you. That's kind of where I'm at. Like, I think that to undo any of the things that you do finally in this film will really cheapen it. And I'm not saying Disney won't do that.

I'm just saying, Don't do that. Bob Hager will do anything he fucking likes. Last thing I want to bring up because I was fucking furious and it's got nothing to do with the content of the film. We're walking into the building. So we're in the fucking parking lot. And I didn't hear it.

My wife catches some woman saying, I think she heard, wow, it's crazy that can't. Captain America got old. Or no, that's what it was. I'm really happy that Captain America got to go back in time.

And I just hear Chelsea, it was like the fucking when they parody the Empire Strikes Back? No, well, yes, it was that Simpson's joke. No, but the moment was like when they're parroting

the Zepruder film on Seinfeld and they're talking about people getting spit on. Yeah. Like Chelsea was like, blah! Oh, just slow motion. Like, what did she just?

say and I didn't hear it and she was like I got something spoiled for me I'm not going to say it until after the movie here's the thing with the movies like this and I know I'm a lunatic it's headphone time when you're going into the theater yep I'm sorry because my buddy in mine my buddy Vin went to Force Awakens it starts up he goes to the bathroom

right before it's fucking night of there's no way you could have seen this movie earlier unless you went to the showing right before it yeah he goes to the bathroom oh god a father and his son and the kids like wait so was that guy that guy was Han Solo's son and he's like, yep, and he killed him?

And he's like, yes, son, he did. And it's like, he was like, that kid should get a swirley. And that father should get a fucking swirley. Listen, parents, you got to talk to your kids about this shit. You shut your little turd mouth until we get in the minivan. That's incredible restraint from Vinny that he didn't just fucking kill him right there. He's a cursor.

conversely on my way on the escalator up there's an escalator coming down and everyone's like talking to each other and I was doing this crazy thing my wife was like really freaked out but I was like babadda da da da da

oh yeah because I don't want to hear any of your shit dude I don't want to hear any of your shit I heard reports of something way more nefarious though and I was sickened was I saw multiple people on Twitter

talking about they were waiting in line to get into the theater and groups of little shit-eaten kids ran by and screamed Iron Man dies at the line of people and just laughed and kept going.

You're allowed to spit at those kids. You're allowed to spit at them. That's your, you got to and Steve is completely right on this headphones matter, especially with these movies that are mostly for kids. Like, just you got to zone out until you're seated in a theater. Even those things like when you're using a chainsaw that just

block out the noise, just wear those. I mean, that's what it was crazy because like I was there with family and everything, I so desperately wanted headphones in the whole time. And I was like, you're really playing with fire because, like, you're on vacation. And I was like, I can't wait too long to see it because I know it's going to get spoiled. But here I am with family. I'm not just like in Manhattan at a theater.

You know, I'm at a theater I don't know. I'm in a part of the country. I don't know who's going to be slinging what. I fucking went to the bathroom beforehand. Oh, that's dangerous. I was really juggling grenades, dude. I couldn't believe nothing happened. Dude, this Rise of Skywalker thing, I don't know what.

I'm going to have a bag over my head until I fucking get into the theater. I want someone to kidnap me, put me in a box. Yep. And then prop me up in a theater, take the bag off. Similarly, have you, reattached my pinky, you know, whatever you wanted to do. Have you talked to your job about this? Not yet, no. Okay.

Similarly, I want a trained medical professional to put me in a medically induced coma, wheel me into the theater, prop me up, and the second the lights go down, revive me so I can watch the movie. Exactly. Because it's just going to, because listen, I cannot suffer the 6 p.m. on the Thursday before. No, it's, you know what, man, that's a younger man's game. Congratulations. I'm not doing it. Yep. I'm going to go on Saturday. I'm going to go on Saturday morning. I'm going to go on Sunday morning. I want to go whenever I'm going to go. Also, I applaud all of the medical professionals out there that are going to be getting the bill to remove all the hemorrhoids for.

the people that went to that fucking 50-hour Marvel marathon just to brag about seeing something a few hours before like my god you have to be in bad physical condition now and you're not going to enjoy them how can you enjoy a three-hour movie at the end of a 48-hour marathon and like I said just to understand what happened with the hammer yeah is that it is that really what you needed I didn't need a rewind I mean I rewatched them all before Infinity War came out and it's still fresh enough

If that was just a year ago, I'm fine. I remembered the hammer thing. I don't think I forgot much. Like, it was all good enough. I didn't need to redo it all again. Yeah, you know, the thing with these movies is that I have the ones, I've watched them all. And there are the ones that I really do love. And I come back to, Iron Man 3, Black Panther.

For me, I know I'm in the minority on this one. Ant Man, I fucking love. I love him. A lot of fun. And it's like, it's fine. um yeah like even spider man home company like those are ones i actually will rewatch and they have you know merit to me that is the outside of the parameters of this story they're trying to i buy the ones that i like getting stone to yeah dude i buy them on u hd man just fucking chill right

out just having a good time uh so since this is like the conclusion of all of this i mean it is continuing what's the so it's spider man spiderman is absolutely next is absolutely next but then where are they going? What's officially announced? Dr. Strange and Black Panther both are for sure. Is that next year? I don't know if they're even going to be ready for next. That's the thing.

I don't know if they thought this timing out necessarily. Guardians three, I also think. Well, that got delayed because they fired him for a long time. And then they brought him back. I was reading a thing about that yesterday and how I guess what they're calling this, by the way, is the suicide squad. Oh, yeah.

You're doing that one again. I think that was the move because that's what this article at least kept referring to at. as. So he has to do that first. Yes. So now that's bumped back. Yeah. So like starting production in 2021 or something. Your wife

divorces you. Like under false pretences. You get remarried. Yep. But then she's like, oh, I didn't know. You didn't cheat on me after all. You were totally wrong. Right. You want to get remarried? Like, yeah, but I got to go to this party first. I promised my wife now. Yeah. This is awkward. I mean, it's another

great scam by the gun brothers. The gun brothers. The Gun Brothers versus the Russo brothers I mean look out it's the Gun Brothers They're getting all sorts of money From Disney and Warters They are You know I'm gonna see Spider-Man far from home

Of course But it's gonna be rad to just take a break Sure Just let everything kind of chill the fuck out That's what I'm kind of most excited As well as like we're done with Infinity Stones And I hope that we don't jump into another long overarching

we don't we don't do this we don't go on this thing again let's just make some movies for a while is it possible to make some movies for a while I don't think so maybe this is the cynic in me but I really don't think I think they're just gonna fucking do it again

with Galactus yeah or seeing how they have Galactus so they could do that or something how many movies did we get into that first phase before the actual storyline was introduced Well, I mean, like, the first Avengers movie, whatever the first Avengers movie is, that's... Well, what was the first time we saw a stone, though?

Oh, that's... Was that Thor? Thor and or Captain America, whichever it came out first, but they go in the same summer. Okay. So it's tough to know. That's a 2009 and 2010? Yeah, no, dude... So we got, like, an Iron Man movie, and that was it.

And then after that shit was... It was just... Rolling, I see. Yeah, because it was... Uh-huh. In the first Thor movie, there's a stone, I believe. I'm pretty sure, yeah. And then obviously in the, what do you call it there in Captain America, there's a stone.

We get the Tesseract there. And then you've got Thanas at the end of Avengers. So it's been a long time. So I do just, let's take a breath. Let's just make some movies. If Ryan Cougar gets to make Black Panther 2 and just have it be a movie,

I'm so happy. Well, there's no fucking stones in that in the first one either. That would be so good. It's a nice standalone thing. So nice. And Dr. Strange now that like the thing is back, you're still going to see it because it's around his fucking neck.

Yeah, I got to talk about it. Whatever, yeah. But the rumor there was something about Namor with Dr. Strange. Oh, no, that's with Black Panther. Was it with Black Panther? That's what I believe so. Oh, I thought someone was saying

that the writer of Dr. Strange 2 posted something that was like a Namor ref. Maybe. Oh, I got sassed by a dude on the way out of the theater. Did you guys stay for the end thing? No.

You just hear a clang-clang of him building the arc reactor from the first movie. And we're coming out of the theater and it's like dead silent and this guy's like, you know oh did you know what that sound was and because I had heard the Doctor Strange 2

Namor thing in my head I thought oh it's like a buoy out on the sea and I was like oh is it Namor and he goes no my wife and I just rewatched all of these and it's the noise that the clanging of making the arc reactor in the cave from the first movie because that's where it all started

idiot I was like well I'll go fucking cut my own throat at the concession stand I'm so sorry sorry for being so fucking stupid. Get out. Get out of the theater right now. It was out of, dude, this guy whipped right around. Oh, he wanted to.

He was looking for a fucking fight, man. Can I challenge everybody for this? Okay. Can we try our best this summer to just enjoy that X-Men movie? I'm gonna, you know me, I'm, I'm one of the four people that like X-Men Apocalypse. I'm one of those four also. I actually, that might be my favorite of those three. of the new X-Men's

Oh, even more than Days of Future Pass? I like it a lot more than Day. I really do not like Days of Future Past. Interesting. No, Richard Nixon. How are you going to like a movie with a movie? Yeah, yeah. I'm just saying, this is the last time

we're going to see the X-Men before this fucking Disney shit. I know the trailer looks not so great and, like, there's a lot of talks about reshoot. All of the signs are out there that this is going to be a huge turd. I am going in their eyes wide open and still pretty excited.

Absolutely. I don't know. I'm just saying let's just try to have some fun at the movies this summer. I don't know if it's going to happen. I don't know. That is W.HM on the screen for Avengers Endgame and if you are finding us and you are new to the program

because you're a fan of these movies, well, we have a whole show here called We Hate Movies where we're poking jokes and fun at all sorts of movies every Tuesday. New episodes are out. We also have a Patreon. Patreon.com slash we hate movies. Steve Sadek, what's on there?

Yeah, we got all sorts of, we do full-length episodes on stuff like Death Wish, the new one. We've done stuff like Bright and Superman Returns, Ghost Rider. Yeah, a lot of superhero movies on there. Not Superman Returns, whichever, the Man of Steel. Man of Steel, I don't know these movies. It's been a long day. Is that image or Dark Horse?

Son of a fucking bitch. Dylan, you son of a fucking bitch. No, yeah, a lot of cool stuff with that animation. Damnation, do some Star Trek stuff on there. Some episodes on Star Wars. Star Wars Gleap Glossary. Check out our Patreon page. If you are a nerd or a person that likes Avengers movies,

you're probably going to like that stuff too. Absolutely. So that again is patreon.com slash we hate movies. Until next time, I'm Andrew Jupin. Steven Say that. Chris Cabin. On your left. That was a hit-Gumper. podcast.