We Hate Movies - S9 Ep379: Episode 379 - Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem

Episode Date: September 18, 2018

On this week's episode, the gang chats about the wretched, but enjoyable, sci-fi sequel, Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem! How could they not get any name actor to star— or even co-star!— in this film? Why are those kids just sitting there doing literally nothing when the pizza is delivered? How could they not showcase any more of the Predator home world? PLUS: Could embattled actor/wrassler/media sue-er, Hulk Hogan have had a starring role in the Predator franchise? PLUS PLUS: Where are all the beefcakes? Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem stars Steven Pasquale, Reiko Aylesworth, John Ortiz, Johnny Lewis, Ariel Gade, Kristen Hager, Sam Trammell, and Robert Joy; directed by The Brothers Strause. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On today's program, it's Alien vs. Predator Colin Requiem. I'm Andrew Jupin, Stephen Sadek. Chris Kavana. Eric Siska. And we hate movies. Hello everyone. Welcome to We Hate Movies. Thank you for tuning into our fine program, as always. Like we said up top, it's AVP colon Requiem from the grand year of 2008, directed by the brother Strauss. Oh, God.

Man, you see this credit come up? The Brothers Strauss. I almost died. Can we just put our names, please? You know, the Cohen brothers are the Cohen brothers. That's fine. They're even opting for, like, Joel and Ethan Cohen. Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah. But even, yeah, the Cohen brothers is always, like, a thing that you might call them, like, outside of the film a little bit. Oh, absolutely. Like, that's how they're spoken of.

Like, but I would just to see. Oh, I went over the Korn Brothers house the day. It was pretty nice. You would never be like, oh, I went to the brothers Strauss house. It was amazing. Are they writing fucking, like, fairy tales and shit? Well, that's the thing. They would have. I visited the brother Strauss in the dock of the wood. Like, listen, I went over to Colin and Greg's house, dude. There it is. Collin and Greg Strauss.

A film by Colin and Greg's house. I got to tell you, man, playing poker with the Coins, I'd like that. Oh. They'd take you for everything. Yeah, I mean, there would be some black comedy in the middle sort of a thing. A good Netflix show for them. Oh, yeah. Oh, you'd meet Tim Blake Nelson.

Yeah, all right, I'm out. Hey, Stephen, do you want to hear about how I was going to play the leader? No, I don't. I mean, I'm sure he doesn't even talk like that. I actually, I got to interview him one time at work, and he was actually a pretty sweet dude. That was also the night I offended Sam Waterston. That's going to happen.

It happens all the time. You guys see the trailer for that new Brothers Cohen movie? Yeah. Yeah, it looks good. He looks good in it. Yeah, I don't know. It's getting poor feedback, though. I guess we'll see, yeah.

Wow. It was not well received at the Venice Film Festival. But I don't know. That means nothing. How did Alien vs. Predator Requiem do at the Venice film festival? It didn't play Venice, but it won the Pomdora can. What? Robbed of the Golden Lion.

Exactly. For those unaware, this is the sequel to Alien vs. Predator, better known to some as a VP. Right. Which we did an episode on, if I'm not mistaken. Yes, we did. Somewhere in this library of... A hundred years ago. Podcast Epps.

Now, that movie is about Predators and Aliens. stuck in a spaceship that's buried under a mining town in Antarctica. In a pyramid? Yeah. Oh, right. The pyramid. They're in a pyramid scheme. It's the predator.

He dupes a bunch of aliens. Like, no, alien, you're going to get rich. All you've got to do is kill these humans and like, and like, then. It's a time share in Antarctica. It's a hot new planet, Earth. Everyone's talking about it. Oh, that's right, because I forgot. Alien brings all of his cousins.

They're like, they're like ancient aliens. Yes. I forgot about that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's great. This movie, I got to tell you, it's way better. Oh, yeah, for sure. I think it is as well. Some people disagree, and it's okay to disagree, but none of them are in the room.

AVP Requiem, what the fuck does that title mean? It's a song for the dead of the aliens versus the predator. There aren't many songs in this. But there are a lot of dead. There is, I will say the one thing, they must have, like, crammed that graveyard scene and like we called it Requiem, we got to have at least a graveyard. That's kind of my favorite scene. It's a graveyard smash. It was a graveyard smash for me, man. I was like, this is a smashing success of a scene. Could we get anyone in this movie? Like, let's just get anyone.

Listen, when your biggest actor is Stephen Pasquo, who's a huge theater guy, but like reached as far as Rescue Me and then he had a failed TV show after Rescue Me that was. was on NBC. The name of which escapes me, but the basic concept was he was a doctor, but it was a medical doctor. But it was also a Jekyll and a Hyde situation. Really? Yep. You could like put

him in a, like as a muscle head with Schwarzenegger and sabotage. You could give him those roles. Get me, get me, fucking Bruce Campbell would be something. Maybe even a Jeff Fahey. I'll take a Jeff Fahey. This was 2008. Jeff Fahey, I believe, was yet

to appear as Captain Frank Lupetus on loss. For some reason, I was like, rowdy, Roddy Piper would have been great. Yeah. Why not? Oh, my God, yes. That would have been awesome. The Hulkster even at that point.

Let's not get nuts. Let's not get ruined at that point. He's too much. No, he hadn't, but he's like a kid. He should have had all that xenomorph. I would like it if he ate the fucking aliens. Hey, brother, if you cut around all the poison sacks, them xenomorphs ain't bad.

Hey, uh, Hulk, you know their blood is, uh, you know what? Yeah, I said, cut around the, poison sack, brother. You've got to clean the shit out of your ears. Come in acid. Only love, brother, H-H. The reason, Chris, that the huster would be a bad choice is he's become such a parody of himself. Hey, if I could star an AVP Requiem, I can still use the N-word on set, right, brother?

Is that okay? Even get like John Liguizamo, like literally someone that I've seen. Mickey Rourke. Mickey Rourke. The skeleton of Mickey Rourke. Well, it was like 2007. That was like his, he was like, when, like, King shit.

When was the Rassler? Probably around 2008. Yeah. So it was right about to happen. Do you think he was away in the screenplays? And he's like, well, in one movie, man, I could fight fucking aliens and predators. And the other movie, I could be a wrestler. Oh, I'm playing 40 in this one.

Well, I don't know. Darren has been asking me. But I think we have pinpointed that these movies, in all the predator movies, they need beefcakes. I need to see a human beefcake. Yep. You know, we had Arnold Schwarzenegger and Jesse Ventura, a bunch of beefcakes in that first movie. Bill Duke, he's a beefcake in that first movie. Second movie, we get Gary Busey, Bill Packer and those tight fucking cackies.

Danny Glover is the beefcake. The other two gentlemen, Bucie and Paxton are like the lean meat. You want a little bit of that. Bucy's like the psychological beefcake. Like he's really like he's got a lot of. Yeah, guess what? That's the first and last. time anyone's going to say that about me

when they checked me into the asylum they put on the rubber stamp there that said psychological beef cake it's cold word that is you know what that's it like I mean and I hope he never dies but when I want when I want one one uh eulogy

of Gary Busey to say psychological beef Gary Bucce was a psychological beefcake who starred in who started the the Buddy Holly story I'm with Bucy on Comedy Central Oh, God, one of our patients is a psychological beefcake.

Try to guess which one. I think you'll be pleasantly surprised. But yeah, you are! Is it that one? The last AVP film didn't really have anything either in terms of the beef department. It had even less. There was even somehow less beef. Sinaiathan was the big one.

We should say that the reason we're doing this. Also, we're skipping Predators, which I still, I feel like I'll never see. I saw some of it on cable ones. I've never seen it. It's better than this. We're on an alien planet and Lawrence Fishburn's there So there's something

We're on an alien planet Yeah Adrian Brody as well Yeah I saw it Toper Grace I can't tell you a thing about it I think I greened out on that one Oh I've been there

I think I might have been with you We're doing this I think so Fucking tag team that movie You guys greened out to everything The Predator The Predator came out last Friday And I gotta say man

The Predator titles Have been fucked up It's Predator 1, Predator 2, then you get Predators. Now we're doing the Predator. Because now if I go up to my buddy Andrew, I'm like, yo, Andrew, you want to put on Predator? And he's like, what are you talking about? My head would explode. I didn't even know where to begin.

We already struck down this legislation. It's not going to happen. It's not going to happen. Steve's right in this instance, though, because this is fucking bullshit all these titles. And I'm going to tell you another thing. I want a colon and a subtitle if that's the case. You want a colon? Bend over and I'll show you.

I haven't. seen it yet. I know it's out already, but I did, in light of hearing some piss poor responses, skipped it at the Toronto Film Festival. I'll probably get to at some point. I'll see it. I am actually... I mean, I'll see it, but... I'm still excited to

see it. We're recording this right before it comes out for full transparency in our government here and we have movies. So I will see it, but I'm... Yeah, it sounds like it's going to be bad. I mean, the controversy is clearly weird and

hard to look past but I still really want to see it you saw you wanted to see predator you I couldn't hear you did you say the predator or predator or did you cut off you say predators by accident I don't know because I'm a fucking idiot Steve wants to get numbers into movie titles you just got to go by the years dude

I'm still saying predator 87 or whatever I can't figure out why this Robert Rodriguez movie is back in theaters hold on a second wait Rodriguez Predators was Nimrod Atal. But Rodriguez produced it. And because it's Nimrod Atal or whatever,

don't worry about it. Everybody was talking about Robert Rodriguez's Predators. Don't even fucking worry about it. But I just want to bring up a fact that Steve complained about the idea. No, I'm still hammering Steve. Yeah, sure. Go ahead. Sure.

You complained about saying Predator 87, yet you say Batman 89 to me 10 times a day. Yes, that's fair. Just saying. That's fair. All right, Senator. All right, Senator. Would that be Batman One, or does the Adam West film count as?

Oh, great question. Adam West film counts for nothing and fuck all at the same time. Bring the legislation back to your committee. Come back another day. Just saying, there's some old man's, well, well, mother, the Arnold Schwarzenegger movies back in theaters. I saw it, the predator. That's the one.

I think your whole thing has to go back to formula. By the way, I think we should also mention the movie. Well, yeah, to get back to this film for a second, we are talking about the uncut version. Oh, right.

I'm guessing for violence and not for brilliant fucking dialogue. So this movie picks up right where the last one ended, which is... Right, the last shot. The very last shot is a predale... Which we're calling the predalian. Which we could all kill ourselves now.

Is that on the, is that in the, uh, that's how they were referring to it in the trivia. Yes. It's like the predile. I read about that. Yeah. So it's the chestburster comes out of a predator's body at the opening of the film. It was, I guess, the titular predator of the last AVP.

It was scar. Oh, please stop. I can. I cannot suffer another movie of naming predators. I'll tell you. I know it the name of this predator and it's so annoying. I can't wait to tell you. Wait, which one?

The pred alien? No, the one. The main, the protagonist of this film. Also, by the way, why is it pretty alien? Why couldn't it be like Xenotaur? Zenotor sounds good. I'm a Zenotor. That sounds like he's got a horse legs.

Or he's a senator. He represents the 31st Predator District. But that makes me like, why? So you're telling me that throughout all of aliens history, I've been seeing what would be a xenomorph mixed with a human. Yes. Okay, I understand that. Yeah.

but can like can they like lay an egg in a deer can I see like a half deer half xenomorph in three isn't there a dog predator I don't remember dog predator maybe I made or dog alien I should say in the third alien yeah no okay I mean no there isn't but doesn't something happen in this movie where there's an alien situation because there's a dog that fucking yeah but oh wait you're right yeah see thank you Chris in the fincher movie in the fincher movie a dog rips

apart. And then there's like it's a different kind of alien. Yeah. Right? Because it's the idea of the alien works. It essentially acts like any other aliens. Yeah. So this movie is actually, this movie's way smarter than I thought. The pred alien, I mean, like literally it's just an alien with those

chomper's a little bit. It's pretty much the same thing. It's got better posture than a xenomorph. It does. And that's probably does better with technology if you if it had the chance. It looks like a bobblehead though. It's got a humongous fucking head. That Mellon does not meet the rest of the body specifications.

You're totally right, Ken. I wish you could see this. You know what? No one could see it. I wish you could see this. Chris is miming a large-headed pred alien not being able to hold its own headweight, which is pretty delightful. And accurate, I must say. I think I was kind of surprised it didn't happen.

Here's the thing, though. Subservient aliens that needed polls to help this fucker walk around. Here's the thing. As much as I'm a guy, and everybody at home knows this, I am a stickler for practical FX whenever possible. He was the man that was a stickler for practical FX. But here's the problem in this movie. A lot of these xenomorphs, and I guess the predalien included here,

they are clearly too much just people in suits in this movie. Running around, like when you get these xenomorphs that are running around on two legs like they are, and there's not much like mystery, like you're literally seeing the whole thing. Listen, it looks like a good and expensive, but nevertheless, Halloween costume. The two original alien movies you barely saw either. Totally. Alien and aliens, it's always quick shots. You see the arms.

You're like, oh, my God, what are the dimensions of this thing? Kind of makes it scarier, doesn't it? Kind of does make it scarier. So this thing bursts out, and it like, there's a doctor. There's a predator, doctor, pro-doctor, I guess we'd call him. I'm doctor, predator. There's a lot of standing desks in this. I'm kind of surprised

How you're surprised these dudes are jacked they are not a sedentary people Chris look at their calf muscles I guess that's standing desk dude look at their complete lack of hemorrhoids no sitting for these guys so yeah he's doing like an autopsy

and something else and he gets attacked by the alien autopsy he is doing technically an alien autopsy but I guess you know if we're dissecting like your local coroner I guess is doing alien autopsies all the time because we are aliens to other beings.

You ever think of that, dude? Oh, no. Speaking of greening out. Yeah, really. Not to get all Neil DeGrasse Tyson right now. Dude, you are one took over the line sweet Mary with that comment. But it's true. No, I mean, you're right. We're technically, we live on

space, comma, planet Earth. We're just stardust, man. That's right. Oh, Jesus Christ. The weird thing is... Star exploded. It's scattered across the universe. Eventually, life started to form. And eventually, Chris, on a little blue dot called Earth,

they made AVP Requiem. Can I get back? All of human history got the... I like the tree of life version of the behind the scenes of Alien versus Predator Requiem. Dot, dinosaurs. Alien versus Predator Requiem. Oh, dude, a fucking xenomorph inside of a dinosaur.

You get a dino-zino-sino-morph? That is something. That is exactly. Exactly something. Wow, that would be terrible. Can you imagine just a brachiosaurus and then just a fucking chest burst out of this?

Wouldn't they be a dinosaur be able to eat a fucking face hugger? Like, I couldn't get around it. Some of those dinosaurs were stupid. Yeah, like maybe a raptor. You just literally pick

the smartest known dinosaur to say the dumb dinosaur was the rat. With this acid spitting one, I forget it's name. Dilophosaurus. Oh, wow. Maybe, wait a second.

There you go. Is that where the xenomorphs come from? Are they from dinosaurs? Or maybe Michael Cretton made it up? I don't know. Maybe what happened was the dinosaurs coexist. Only life exists on Earth. Gotcha.

Keep going on. Dinosaurs happened. Jesus hung around. It was pretty cool. And then the Delampiosaurus guys were like, we're getting out of here. This Jesus guy is talking too much. And then they fly to space, like the moon. and they interbreed and eventually evolve into xenomorphs

and then they come back the night he came back. Wow, you know what? All of this is coming together flawlessly. It's no other life in the galaxy except for Earth and the predators were some other people too. Andrew, I'm going to start driving. Andrew, I'm going to start driving. Yeah, keep talking.

That's cool, man. The predators of... No, man, I don't have any money, dude. I don't got any money. The missing link and the Sasquatch. No, where you do that, I should like start talking further away. And they evolved from the planet. I don't have anything. I'm cool. I'm cool.

Call the police. Call the police now. So, okay. Eric, Eric told me to tell you he's just going to email the rest to you. Well, that's fine. All right. For the purposes of this podcast and conversation going further, I will believe in outer space and aliens and all that. Perfect. Thank you. Steve Zadak So this predator Pred alien makes short work

of all these predators We do see some Pred alien vision Which I guess lets you know That it is kind of half and half Because it is like That thermally vision Sort of a thing

I still don't know What this fucking thing looks like Yeah Yeah It's like I can remember What the Predator looks like I can remember what the I don't remember

Like it's just a blob thing You know what it kind of looks like A muscular Sweatier version of Swetoms from the Muppets. That's what the pred alien looks like. That's a lot of gymnastics I have to do. He does. And here was the other thing.

I thought that those dreadlocks were tied into the helmet situation, just like the Predator Vision. No, no, no. I was totally misremembering the whole thing. And so he makes short work of everybody. The ship is going down now, down to Earth. Which, this movie, just like that first one, starts with the Predator's ship, breaking down. And he calls like

AAA or something. Instead of like dude you're fucking do your self-destructing dude, that's what you're famous for. Exactly. Which we don't get a single time in this movie. We know we get it a little later. Do we? Yeah. It does go off? Yes. Okay. I didn't think this was

calling AAA. I thought there was a dude monitoring that was like, uh-oh, we got a breakdown because we get in the first five minutes of this movie a glimpse, just a sneak peek at the Predator Home World. Oh my Quite unimpressive. I just love

like, yeah. I just love like the way that they paint this predator as like this old timer coming back to the game. He's coming out of retirement. That's exactly what's happening. One last job. Lord help me, I'm back on my bullshit. I think it's

a predator who's sitting around listening to a police scanner. You're right. And he's just like, oh no. The Galaxy 7 went down. I guess I'm back in the game. If you, you can tell, but if you like, when he gets up to get his gear, he walks past a coffee table and there's all in Predator language, like first notice, second notice, third notice. Like, you know, he's on hard times.

All the fucking photos of Nancy Predator, little genie Predator. Dude, he checks his answering machine before he leaves and it's a message from like a fucking funeral home. That's also talking about bills because those two, the wife and son are definitely. Definitely dead. Or the Predator Divorce Lawyer. Oh, shit. Oh, from the second wife.

You piece that shit. Oh, yeah, dude, exactly. We do not get much of the Predator Homeworld. It's just like a boxy planet. I want to know what's going on. Do they have a Best Buy? Well, the weird thing with this Predator

specifically, like he is the protagonist of the film. By the way, his name is Wolf. But how do you know that? It's on the IMD. I know it from Wikipedia as well. But that's what's a nice. knowing like those aren't real where are these people getting these from i'm going on record it doesn't

have a best buy oh shit oh circuit city only a media play all right listen we've had a nobody beats the whiz for 10 centuries and that's the way it's going to stay you know i do think they would believe in physical media oh absolutely yeah you're absolutely right with that yeah they're not really like they're not like streaming dudes yeah it's a little more analog everything's like the cool little you know. Look, I don't care how good your internet connection is. You're not getting the resolution that I am. This shit is true 4K. I'm putting

in my this triangle-shaped disk and it's going to play this crazy pornography. And then the predator pornography. Oh, God. You know it happens. You know what happens. Oh, my God. So this ship crashes in the good old United

States of America. Whole planet. One of the others. Actually Canada, but yeah. Oh, it's Canada? No, that's an film. Yeah. Oh, well. The film is set. Set in Colorado. Gunnerson, Colorado. Oh, shit. Gunnerson. Yeah, dude. Fuck. Not messing around

in the town of Gunnerson. That's another way. Lundgren character. Yeah. Dolph Lundgren. There you go. He would be amazing this fucking movie. That's who you could afford for this. You could afford Brian Thompson as well? Well, yeah. Van Dam would do it. He was supposed to be in that first movie. Yes.

He's desperate enough. Dude, he's on like Universal Soldier 90. These aliens and these predators, I'll get them both. I'll split and punch the butt in the balls the same time. See, he talks less and less as the movies go on. So I feel like he's keeping quiet during most of it. He'd be a Dallas, like, yeah. That'd be awesome because it's like you're just waiting for Van Damme to do something

and he's not saying shit the whole movie. And then at the end, he just freaks out and starts killing these guys. I love it. But yeah, they crash. There's a father and a son who are. hunting. I first saw this movie last night for the first time. And I was like, oh, I always heard the good things from

I believe everyone in this room. It's a cool movie. And then this kid gets a face hugger and I'm like, oh, it's this kind of movie. Which is why I think we rated higher than anything else. Not that anything else above the last movie is because this movie

goes for child death. Absolutely. In like the first 15 minutes, this kid's getting fucked over. Excessive child danger. At every poor, So you put this on, you see that face hugger get dear old dad and you're thinking, oh my God, now I'm going to see this kid grow up and it's going to be his

revenge story. Oh, shit, yeah. But it wasn't. No, he's dead. He's dead and there's aliens in his belly. There was a, what do you call it there? The dad's arm gets melted off. I think some acid happens. Yes, he gets a little bit of like dripage going on. Oh, because he shoots the facehugger. He's like, oh, not in my house. My house, motherfucker. Stand my

ground. And his arm melts on. That's right. That's right. Those will be my last words. Oh, yeah. Dude, he's a guy. I'd love to see get throat fucked by an alien. That would be wonderful.

Fucking cat scratch fever of my ass. What if this kid, by the way, bringing another, what if this is John Connor? Who knows? Oh, wow. Yeah. Oh, wow. I think AVP, that whole thing, it's a natural.

Just marry it to the Terminator. Why not? Well, you were already marrying it to Jurassic Park a little while ago. Exactly. So, you know, like, the guy. government sees Dutch and they're like, my God, that man is just, that's a beefcake, Arnold, right? So they make him into robots to fight. He's a muscle beef cake. Oh, that's a great idea.

Well, yeah, if the Terminator, like the model of the Terminator was based off of Dutch, that's pretty great. That's fucking killer. I like that we're like, we're still getting the kinks out of it. You know, Dutch always used to say, I need a vacation. Now the fucking Terminator is saying it doesn't make sense. The T-900 that we've never seen, which is actually Carl Weathers, that's excellent. Oh, yeah, it would be. Amazing.

So, yeah, so we kind of get introduced to the protagonist who's Stephen Pesquil, who comes back from prison. He just did three years hard time, we're told. For something. You don't even know. You never find out, but the sheriff does, like, you got a lot of guts coming back here after that stunt you pulled. I think he burned down an orphanage. Well, yeah, I mean, it's three years. How bad could it have been?

It's my question. But everyone treats it like it's the worst. That's at least murder, right? I mean, three years white guy? Yeah, that sounds like murder. Yeah, exactly. Clean cut white kid like that. I mean, you can get out in a year probably.

Yeah, that's true. Good behavior. Maybe triple homicide. Manslaughter, maybe. They probably, you know, got it down a little bit. A little car stuff, you're thinking? Probably. Whoopsie doodle, I drank the whole bottle deal.

Oh, a sick dewey, which turned into something much more. So John Ortiz is the, the sheriff and that they used to be running buddies, I guess, is the idea. Like they were, is he supposed to be an ex-cop? No, I think they were just buddies back in the old days. And he's like, oh, man, I can't believe you're a cop. He's like, yeah, a lot of people can't either, kind of a thing. Oh, I see. Now, where do I know John Ortiz from most famously? He's an American gangster. He's in Miami Vice. He's really in big in that. I guess it must have been Miami Vice. I haven't seen American gangster. He's in a bunch of stuff.

He's in a ton of stuff. I mean, and, you know, but he's trying to reaclimate him into the society we do we're we're it's it's an a tapestry that we get to see the whole town here oh yeah like this shit should start with like an opening musical number just telling us all about this town that's that's a beautiful gunsville gunsville it's a hell of a town the liquor store's up and the meth lab is down yes exactly there's there's got to be nothing to do there no we cut to a pizzeria uh we meet uh david hornsby of uh always sunny fame oh rickety cricket who's like the of this Pizza Hut type place.

Papa Johns. Oh, we do get a Papa John sign later in the film. I don't think they work at Papa John's, but Papa Johns

exists in this town. That's interesting. So we have the Papa John sign, but these fuckers work for like pizza to go. Yeah, later when the xenomorph crawls out of the sewer

and he's in pursuit by wolf, Mr. Predator, there is a giant Papa John's sign. Yes. Wow. I missed it.

I think I have my filter on my TV where it gets all Papa John's shit off my screen. Oh man, does that cover Peyton Manning too? I would pay so much money never to see Peyton Manning again. I really want him to die. That's what's weird is when you put this Papa John's filter on it, it's just Peyton

Manning talking to himself. Where'd everybody go? Insurance pizza. Oh, do you think he gave him the ID? Chicken Parm is my best friend. What? Someone was watching. Aliens are killing me. someone with someone at dominoes was watching all nonstop painting manning commercials because that's

what television is in the united states if you don't know if you live outside of these continental united states and they saw his insurance commercials right doesn't even do like nationwide yeah and then they saw right after that the pizza commercials ha ha pizza insurance oh i see that's how they came up with it interesting a lawsuit is coming at you you're looping all all kinds of things tonight. Predator cut off my arm. Oh, no. My arm.

Alien versus Predator versus Peyton Manning. Yeah. All right, boys. You're in store for a little bit of the rocket. Right. Is this a super laser pointer you got on me here? Three laser pointers. Wow.

He must be rich. I don't remember. Was Brett Favre. cut or uncut? What? Wasn't he famous for sending a... Oh, a dick pick?

Yes. Oh, I don't remember of that. I never saw the dick, though. Did they release the dick? I'm sure someone's got it somewhere. Oh, I don't know.

Yeah. You can pause those Wrangler jeans commercials. You'll figure it out. Yeah, you can see that bulge in those wranglers. And when Tony Romo is taking off his sketchers,

maybe I could make out the outline of his dick, too. Is Tony Romer doing sketches commercials? Is he really? Yeah, it's that bad. She just do this with all men in all commercials from now on

I do Eric Siska's cut or not I treat men as objects Eric Siska saw my dick Sorry these pants a little too tight Hey Papa

You got any bag of your jeans for me man I can't do a commercial with my dick Outline as it is Mr. Papa John Mr. Papa John Could you sling a peach in in my mouth, I'm sad. Oh, man.

So, yeah, we now, we're at this pizzeria, finally. And, like, you know, Rickettico's the, the uptight manager. He takes this kid who happens to be Stephen Pesqual's brother to tell him to go deliver a pizza.

And that's kind of what's happened. And so, it's this dude Ricky, I believe, is the character's name. And this guy is like, oh, man, I can't go to that house. And Rickety Crickett's like, you are a pizza delivery driver. Let's move on with the scene. And we find out, of course, it's like some

bab babe. What are they doing? It's the middle of the afternoon. They're just sitting around eating a pizza? Well, they just smoked a ton of weed. Oh, that's, yeah, I think you're both right. They're smoking weed while coming up with a killer idea for a podcast. Because that's the weird thing, though, is like when we get into this house, what's her name, Becky?

Jesse, I think her name is. She's like, oh, hey, Ricky, come on in. And there's four other people, like, in the living room. And they're all just sitting there. they're literally doing nothing. Like there's no television on. There's no under- exactly.

It's just like five teenagers sitting in a dining room like just staring at each other. When do you think the pizza's going to get here? That'll be something. Can't start recording until we get the pizza. That's for sure. Guys, it's a podcast about pizzas.

We can't start recording until the pizza gets here. So Jesse has this boyfriend. Oh, yeah. And like this whole crew of like idiots. And you know what? One thing the 80s always got right was the boyfriend, the asshole boyfriend was always a beefcake. Yeah.

This guy is a little twirpy. He's fucking like a pudgy little like, ew. Oh, Dale. Yeah, Dale. Semi pudgy has got like the shaggy hair. But this is like you got to remember, we're not in Reagan's America. This is George W. Bush's America. I know.

Where we built them smaller back then. Oh, God, the masculinity of the Bush era. It was a little rough. So she's like, hey, man, come in here. I'll pay for the pizza. And like, we have this terrible fucking kitchen island and brown and everything. It's a real 2007 house. And they sit down and she's like, you know, blah, blah, blah.

Those don't mind about those guys. Those guys are jerks. And he's like, yeah, I know. And they have like a romantic. My favorite part of the scene, they just have a romantic scene. Like, you know, they're going to get together. He leaves, and they close up on this woman's face who it's like for a little while to show that she's like thinking about whether or not she wants to be romantically involved with this guy. Yeah.

It lasts 40 seconds and she's got nothing going on. It's just like her eyes are like, looking at the guy holding the light, looking at the guy above the camera, looking at the director. Yeah, she's not great. Yeah, she's not great. We can't get out of the scene without one of those brohems in the living room making a sausage lover's joke. Oh, nice. Somebody's making jokes about ding-dolls. It's a hero. It's the hero of the movie.

Oh, it's Ricky? Ricky is making the sausage lovers joke. Because Dale. Two, what's his name? Chubby Dale. Dale. Dale. Oh, you must want chubby Dale, man.

I'm just Dale. I mean, look at me. I am just Dale. Yeah. What is the pizza delivery boy? Ricky, is that the name? Yeah, he says like, oh, Well, at least I now know who ordered the sausage lovers.

Oh, wow. Sausage lovers pizza is not really a thing, right? There's meat lovers. If you put sausage lovers on a menu and it was pepperoni sausage, maybe some other weird sausage in it. I would. Some chorizo. Oh. I think because.

But any, I love sausage is what I'm saying is I want so much sausage on a pizza. I think the thing is, meat lovers is a thing that's like copywritten by pizza. Oh, I. Really? Yeah. Pizza Hut is the pizza chain that has the meat lovers pizza. Am I wrong? That's a registered trademark. We got it. Just get like, well, then use something like meat adorer or something. Yeah, I'll have one meat adorer. What did you say? The meat ador. Could you say that again? I would like a large meat ador. We don't sell meteors here. You know what, Jeff? I shouldn't have let you name the fucking menu at the pizza room. It's a matador for meat.

we got to overturn all these trademarks because it's got to be like Buster Keaton short films or something like they're just public domain now fucking meat lovers is public domain everyone loves meat. There's meat on many, there's topics and everything. I could be a meatlover and I don't even need pizza for that.

I don't even take it. That's true. Like you get like a plate of chicken wings in front of me. Technically at that moment, I'm a meat lover. Sure. Exactly. So whatever, this kid gets fucking. and punched in the stomach and then kicked a bunch of times. And then they throw his keys

in the sewer. Oh, dude, the fucking clown is down there. Go get your keys, Georgie. Don't make fun of my fucking pizza selection ever again. We actually do get people living in the sewers in this movie, and I Kenny Was lives down there.

Sorry, I will stop doing that eventually. No, don't. Never stop. The scary clown showed my dead Dad. You float down there, Peyton. The xenomorphs do show up and they, because they,

I guess they burst out of those hunter, the hunter and the... Yeah, they burst out of the hunter. They turn into... We do see the kid get actually the chest buster as well. We certainly do. And I was like, man, Christmas come early.

And then they like, they attack people that live in the sewer. Yes. Because, remember, this takes place in the United States, and we don't take care of anybody. No, we love it. Listen, how else are we going to produce chuds? Dude, you need people living in the sewers. I think this should have, this is a perfect place.

Speaking of pizza, you got pizza already in the movie. We're in the sewer. Yep. Let's bring in the Ninja Turtles. You know why? Thank you. You know what would be great about the Ninja Turtles? They could speak and enunciate what their goals are, because I have no idea what this predator is doing in this movie.

No idea. No clue. Well, his whole thing is, like, he's going to hunt down the guys who killed his family. The two that got away, the two that got away, right? I'm sorry, I'm sorry, he's too subtle for you, Steve. His performance is more gestural. But the Ninja Turtles, I can rip for the Ninja Turtles. Crank can give him a jump start on his, on his fucking ship from the Technodrome.

You know, get those jumper cables out. Yeah, and we're eating pizza. We're karate kicking things. It's all there. All of this would be great because you think about this. when we have a lot of versus thing going on. The fight scenes in this movie

are weird because it's just two things going like, rah, rah, right. Exactly. Well, both the predator and the aliens would slaughter the teenage mutant ninja turtles and eat splinter. I don't know. I mean, like, Leonardo's guy, I feel like they would go all that. It would be like...

Donald Teller does machines, dude. I mean, he might fucking figure something out. Oh, no, this acid is burning through my throat. No, like actual turtle soup is what's going to happen, I think. Do you think Shredder would, like, join up with the xenomorphs or something? Yeah, absolutely. Hey, Don, do you think that's an isosceles triangle or an equal? That would be awesome.

Treanor, I figured out how to communicate with the xenomorphs. They are also from dimension X. Right? Makes sense. That's why there's xenomorphs. I just feel like with every, someone in that, this crossover thinking they're in good with the xenomorphs and the Predators

is like that line in Jason X where that professor is like, it's okay, he just wants his machete back and then like the xenomorphers like ah, ah, ah, assing. No, Shredder, stand down. Look, the flashcards are working. Oh, wait, no, they're not working.

The predator does come down to investigate this crime. I think, because I don't know, is he a cop? Is he a pop? Yeah, dude, I think he's out of retirement. Okay. He's Clint Eastwood Predator.

I guess he just wants to contain the aliens. Well, I think the deal is like it's a whole... At the beginning, that whole predator's ship is wiped out. Yes. So I think maybe it's a thing where maybe he used to be a crew member there. Maybe. Oh, shit. Maybe he's like Gary Sinise and Apollo 13.

And he didn't get to go on the mission because they thought he had fucking whatever chicken pox or some shit. They don't get him. break. I don't get a break. Exactly, dude. Now he's the only one that can go rescue them. I watched that a couple weeks ago. By the way, excellent hangover movie. Apollo 13.

Oh, yeah. It's like four hours on fucking TNT and you're not going anywhere. And it's a big bite. And so he's investigating. And he is doing this weird thing and I don't know what this is. He has these blue vials of like acid or whatever. This is new to the Predator Tech. erase he's like tampering with evidence i guess dude you got to call mr wolf man he's

gonna totally erase the whole scene just clean it right up i just yeah i don't know it's it's it's it's like um uh it is insane it's like something it's like mark firman predator man i still eric's joke but he he he wasn't gonna make it oh yeah no no i was spacing out for a second the predator's just like throwing gloves all over the ground yeah like Oh, this alien had drugs on him. Yeah, those, that hunter and the kid wasn't killed by an alien. No, it was a professional athlete. Yes, yes, I am a racist, but I'm also a good predator cop.

But I'm racist against white people because I'm setting up Peyton Manning right now because it's AVPVP. Dude, AVP, MVP. I was miles away from there. The alibi. I was on a flight to Chicago Oh no My brother had a movie night

So yeah I mean but like he's erasing evidence And I don't know why Like is he like Well there's not gonna be any investigation Is he like a man in black Like is the idea is like Oh we're trying to keep it away from like

The humans It's like the prime directive He's like we can't We can't fuck with their humans Because You know They're not ready to know know this shit, so

let's just get rid of the evidence here, sweep it under the rug, and we're good. I need, you know what, like, we're on the Predator Planet. He gets this call. He needs to go to the High Council of Predators and, like, there's subtitles. It's five minutes of subtitles. It's stupid as hell, but at least I can see what's going.

And how about this? How about this? He is explicitly told by the Predator High Council. He is not to go to Earth and try to fix this. And then this predator, he fucking steals a spacecraft. Yes. Right?

And all of a sudden it's like, oh, wait a second. Hey, who authorized opening cargo base seven? And the dude fucking drives it through the door. Put sunglasses down. Don't worry about it. It would be awesome. Consider this my resignation.

Yes. Yeah, totally. Oh, shut away to the danger zone. Yes. That predator is not authorized for a fly by. What? Here's the thing. Exactly.

If this movie That predator's right in Jackson's Body Armor can't cash If this movie just had the guts To just be a little fun And have a little bit of a sense of humor You can have shit like that And listen here's the thing everybody would eat that up

If a predator drove through a fucking Cargo Bay door stealing a spaceship While Danger Zone played Highway to the That would be awesome Why is he smoking a cigar? The answer to all All those questions would just be why not.

Or make it like the gruber brothers. Like the first predator was his older brother. Yes. Yes. And he's coming back. And I would love to see the Predator High Council. You could see like what older predator looks like. What a fat predator.

In like robes. Yes. You know, it sort of looks just like in Star Trek 6 when the Klingon High Council condemns Kirk to death. And they're like banging with like a cube as a gavel. I was going to say that's why I always appreciated seeing things. like the Klingon High Council because they always had

old ones and fat ones. It was all just right there. Like you wouldn't get that with Balkans because they're too disciplined. But Klingons, you could have a fat Klingon. In everything, every science fiction shit, you know, not enough old ones and fat ones. Because when I,

as a regular, degular human walk around, I see nothing but old ones and fat ones. Exactly. They're out there everywhere. Don't tell me they're not out there. So we add to the body count of this cast by introducing a war veteran. Oh, right.

What in the world is she doing? And then her beleaguered husband, played by Sam Trammell from True Blood, and they have a daughter, and this is when we were getting really tired of the war in Iraq 11 years ago. Remember that? What we were like, dude,

this war is going on way too long. Yeah. And it was 11 years ago. Yeah. That's interesting. Yeah, it's the longest war in our history, right? Well, it turned out, dude, she didn't even know.

it, but she left the Middle East to come home and to find war had followed her there. That does not count. Aliens versus predators do not count. Yeah, that's really more law enforcement issue. She came home and to find

her town gets a nukeed by the government at the end of this movie. Come on. Which is pretty great. We do, back on the Predatorship really quickly, like he kills some aliens. He makes him go away with this blue go-away juice.

And then he does do the self-destructing. The thing about the self-destructing, I feel like it's set up in the first movie. It feels like the only way to activate it is with a sick predator laugh. Like that's like the vocal command code. Like you do the bleep bloops. You do half triangle, half triangle. You need the laugh. But wait, that predator doesn't commit suicide though.

No, he doesn't. He sets it off and he runs and then he jumps. And then, to my surprise, not a regular explosion. This is, my friends, an image. Implosion, which is like, holy shit, they have implosion technology. If I had implosion technology, they would call me the implosion guy. I'd be doing it non-fucking stuff. It wouldn't be predators anymore.

I would make it so that everyone knows them across the galaxy has implosion. Implosionators. But wouldn't you want to be like the imploder then? Yes, the imploder. That's even better. You know where you can make a killing? Maybe not so relevant now, but like 20 years ago, you go to, Vegas and implode all those old

casinos. You're right. I mean, great. Right. Yeah, so, I mean, like this woman, the vet, it's just like we see that her daughter doesn't know her and like, you know what I mean? Like it's, yeah, she's like favoring the father. I thought, like,

they really go heavy on it though, because I thought like it was a step family situation when she comes back. Wait, wait, wait. How do you have a step? How are you a grown human with step family? No, but like, I felt like, when she was a She goes down to look at the thing, the night vision goggles. And she's like, you got these for me?

And I was like, that's like something you asked like when your dad comes back from business. Yeah. It just felt really distant. Hi, I'm back from business. At war, war business. War business. But it's a level of family drama and like characterization I don't need in a movie that as far as I remember is titled

Alien vs. Predator Colin Requiem. Keep that shit out of there. I just want 2D skeletons walking around getting killed by aliens. It's also not like they have like a big moment where they're like talking or anything. It's them running for

their fucking lives for most of the fucking movie. But it's just it's so obnoxious that she's like getting home from war. You know what I mean? Like we're putting a stamp on like when this is taking place in a way that like this movie doesn't need to do. The stamp is the last 20 years.

All right, it's a big swath that this stamp covers. I don't think they knew that at the time. No, no, I don't think we did. The, what do you call it there? So the John Ortiz is investigating what happened, because now the Hunter and the kid are reported missing. Oh, right, the wife

is freaking out. She comes to the local diner. I got to tell you, this place, I would love to eat that. Oh, you're kidding me, yeah. Because you know what I think it is? You'll get yourself a grand slam. It's a exactly because it's clearly like a bar that has bar food like lunch until dinner but you go in there early

they'll give you a coffee and some greasly ass eggs don't even worry about it sounds fantastic like breakfast at a bar absolutely I did that when last time we were in Portland my wife and I found a bar that served breakfast Steve was there oh yeah remember that place holy shit you didn't tell me you saw

AVB Andrew versus breakfast? Dude, that's a show. That is a show I would fucking host. Dude, pitch it. Pitch it. You got to be executive producers in the room.

You're going around. You're eating breakfast and people are fighting you. Dude, and then we call it, there's a bonus show that you guys could host like a talkback show and it's called AVB Requiem and it's me calling in from the bathroom. Oh, I see. Perfect. Yeah. Like, what's that situation?

Are there nuggets or is it fucking liquid? right yeah yeah you're right the way was rincheros again huh oh that's great oh but the last time i got fooled by those was in chicago just a few months back so uh yes john ortees goes to the woods he there's like a search party kind of a thing we're looking to further where these people are um the the predator by the way uh is so he's like doing all this stuff he's doctoring all this evidence left and right he's and he uh runs a foul of this cop that sees him, he's like, oh shit, I can't go down for this. Yep.

Oh, God, it's awesome. And he, for some reason, he doesn't, he's got some weird rules I don't understand. Like, if he kills an alien or is trying to get rid of a predator, that's fine. But if he kills a human, he has to skin it. And I, he has to. Well, that's what established in the other films. No, but to Steve's point, he's not doing it to the xenomars. And Steve, I think I got an answer lined up for you.

Skinning a human being fairly easy. Sure. I think the move, though, like look at the fucking predator and look at the xenomorph man. That's like trying to take apart a lobster. You are going to be there all day getting those shells off. Like, that's what it is. A human, it's like, quick, quick, pull it off, hang it from a tree. All right, today on Master Chef, what your challenge is is to skin a predator.

It's very difficult. I'll show you really quickly. Get extra sharp knives, right? All right. Go for the thorax. Yes. Very clean cuts. All right, Jamie, let's see what you've done.

Oh, damn. You've ruined the cut. The fillet. The fillet of Predator. This is the most expensive meat you can have. It's an alien from space. What did I tell you? You stupid motherfucker.

You cut around the acid sack. Around it. Fuck. Why am I in this business? You can be on AVB, dude. Oh, my God. He can be yelling at you as you're eating. Why are you doing this?

Don't dip the toast of the yolk, you fucking idiot. That sounds like a pretty good move to me. Oh, damn. That's my favorite thing he says on those shows when he's like, he tastes something. He's just like, damn. Oh, damn. And damn is always bad.

Yes. It wouldn't have been, oh, damn. That's good. No, he's not capable of those emotions. It's a little underdone, is it? It's a little underdone. Oh, damn. Now, but you're talking about when he's like being policed. light to like other UK contestants.

Oh no, Master Chef. He'll be... Because I thought the American versions, he was like a raging asshole. You're thinking of Hell's Kitchen, my friend. Yeah, it's a different show. A whole different Gordon, my friends. This week, it's a whole different Gordon.

He's like Two-Face, dude. I had to promise my parole officer, it would be a whole different Gordon. Let's give it a world. Oh, looks like it's back to jail for me. I burnt the portobello and then he just stopped, start punching. He started punching.

Well, now you'll get the xenomorph acid. Here we go. All right, predator. You didn't do a good job. I'll just tell you, you've been cut tonight. But you could work in my kitchen any time. Oh, does he do those? Wait, are you serious?

Yes, absolutely. Oh, my God. Come to me for a job anytime, brother. Oh, my God. I'm going to get fired in Las Vegas. Can I tell you the only Gordon Ramsey shit I've seen from his obnoxious empire of television shows is like when he's

going into restaurants and like fixing bad ones. Kitchen nightmares. That's probably the best of his empire. Yeah. It was literally a single episode is all I've seen of this man. And it was fucking awesome. I got to tell you, it was a thing where it was some disgusting, long island sports bar.

And I'm serving garbage juice. I presume that this is almost every episode, but it's basically like the restaurant owner crying and just like, I just don't know what to do. I tried to open a restaurant and I'm doing the best I can, English man.

And I was laughing. That is every single. It was I laughed. It sounds like most of it. But it was awesome too because the entire staff hated the owner. Oh, right. So they had to have a meeting one time and at the staff meeting all these people were like, listen Randy, you're a fucking bag of dicks, dude.

That's why this restaurant is failing. And this guy had no idea. It was kind of like when they cry on undercover boss. Yes, Randy, you are a bag of dicks. The fry cook predator. So, yeah. So there's a great line around here because you, Steve, you mentioned we're getting the search on for the people. Yes.

There's a thing where like it gets to be the end of the night. And John Ortiz is like, hey, man, listen, it's 2 a.m. We're going to call it a night. We'll get back to it in the morning. And this guy is like, we're not stopping. And he's like, oh, it's late at night. Like, come on. And this guy goes, you know, around here, we take care of our own sheriff.

Oh, right. It's just like, Jesus, dude, just go to bed. I've lived here for two decades, Earl. John Ortiz is like, I'm third generation of this town, Earl. You're only second. Fuck you. Yeah, it's very pointed. Round here, where do you think I live, motherfucker?

He's like, you know what, Sheriff? What's that? Ortiz. Oh, I get it. I'll be over here taking care of our own. For some reason, Ricky and his brother have a cursing contest in this, like, it's like a bad one-act play. He's like, Ricky, what happened, man?

What happened to you, Ricky? Oh, is this where he comes into the house and, like, the shades are all drawn and there's garbage everywhere? Yes, yeah. Yeah, Ricky don't live clean. And they go down to the sewer. It's a sewer level now where the turtles are on... Prehistoric turtle sores.

Exactly, turtles are on hoverboards going through and fighting... Aliens in that scene, actually. Oh, that's right. Oh, there totally are xenomorphs in that game. I hope somebody got sued at Canami for that. Didn't xenomorph get the Rat King? Yes.

Right right in the back of the head. Dude, that would be lucky for the Rat King. So he, I just had a thought. You know who could totally play the Rat King? Who? Who's that redheaded, noxious guy on the Walking Dead? With the mustache?

You're asking, yeah, the character's name's Abraham. Yeah, whoever that who played Abraham, that you could play the rat king like nobody's business. It's a tall order to get me to know cast members' names on that. I mean, I haven't watched that show in six years. I'm just

saying, Jeff, Jeff D. What was it, Jeff Dean Morgan? Yeah, yeah. That's it. That's all I got for you. Well, that's not the guy I'm talking about. And that guy came in late, too. Yeah. Who could care? I cannot believe that show still up here. Here's a question, actually. And now we're in loser territory. Oh, wait. Adam Reis.

What was his name? Norman Reed. Norman Reed. There you go. Adam Reedis. Loserish question I will ask Okay Today Yes Could a xenomorph

Get inside of a zombie or what? Oh But that's a question That is a question It's dead flesh I don't think we know What the xenomorph needs To sort of

You know Cook I think it needs more than brain activity You think so? I think so I thought it was like It just needed like A little warm place to lay its head

You know I would love One stillborn xenomorph where it doesn't work out, right? And it pops out and just it's dead immediately. I think that's what would happen. And then the zombie would get up and walk. I think the zombie would win in that situation. Oh, nice.

So if Xenomores ever invaded the world, I think we should orchestrate a zombie outbreak to fight it. Yeah. Because if we're going to die, we might as well all die and we might as well take them down with us. Oh, absolutely. It would actually be a pretty awesome visual. If you just saw a zombie like shuffle,

following along and there's a dead chestburster looking like a flaccid penis just hanging out of its chest and he's just walking down the street. I was still pleasantly surprised seeing how this movie picks up at the end of the last one because that chestburster is my favorite in all of these movies because he's the one that looks at the camera and he's like, hello my baby, hello my darling, hello my ragtime gal.

It's literally spaceballs. It's actually and literally spaceball. And so they go down to the sewer. they do meet up with some of these zombies that have the homeless zombies xenomorphs now I'm all fucked up homeless xenomorphs well I guess the xenomorphs aren't homeless anymore

yeah their people were yes the xenomorphs take make short order of these homeless people down there who are probably also veterans by the way just saying this is where that dog came in though because one of the homeless guys has a dog yes and the xenomorph gets that fucker too

so they're all dead we don't see as that was my question too the kid xenomorph would that be a smaller xenomorph would it be run-ish I guess I don't think so yeah I think they just need that warm body the rest is history we all kind of just need a warm body from time to time gotta lay some eggs

so the the bros are down on the sewer looking for the keys the predator just finally the alien The Predator starts really fucking up some aliens. It's pretty great. A head knock to two aliens. Which is pretty awesome. Because don't the,

doesn't one, like, have the tongue head, like, shoot out into the other one or something? A lot of tonguehead in this movie. Big problem. A little too much. Way too much. We're kind of, like, that's our fallback. Like, anytime we have to quickly kill somebody, it's just, like, a quick, like, right through the skull and they drop. You know what's great about this scene or this sequence is, I think this is where the Predator

sets up a laser net on like one of the sewer tunnels. He puts out on like both sides. It's like a laser grid. He throws one of these things into it. Yeah, it's awesome. And the predator, by the way, unconcerned about the acid that's going to be flying all over the place.

Well, that was the thing. Does anybody remember if they are affected by acid in the first one? They are. They are. Because remember at the end... He definitely isn't in this. Yeah, because at the end of the first one, remember the predator like hilariously builds himself armor out of xenol

The acid falls down on the xenomorph shell and it doesn't burn And he's like, say Yeah, that sucks So they have to build armor to protect themselves But in this movie you're right, cabin He's getting fucking facial left and right, nothing's happening He's slaughtering them He's like an old timer, you know, he was listening to the police scanner

So he's used to getting squirted in the face and stuck So he's kind of like he's like hardened to it, you know what I mean? Used to it, you know? Okay, so like as you get older, if you don't get fats, The, it hardens into a good shank therapist. This city is a toilet. Sometimes I wipe the blood off the seat. Sometimes it's acid.

Sometimes I make friends with Peter Boyle in a coffee shop we all hang out at. What do you mean you don't like this movie? I mean, come on. I mean, I paid for the movie. I mean, it's a foreign movie. They escaped the sewer and like, wow, what was that? And this kid goes to work the next day? Nope.

Staying home. And he meets up with Jesse at work and she's like, hey, I broke up with my boyfriend. I fired him. And he's like, oh, cool. This dude, man, what luck. There's some stupid thing where like she's like, you're always staring at me in math class is like, clock. And she's like, what? And he's like, it's because the clock is near there and I want to see what I get out of math class.

And he's like, okay. He's like, hey. Smooth as fuck. And she's like, she's like, yo man, why don't you go swimming with me tonight?

We'll go to this pool, blah, blah, blah. He's like, clock. And then when they get there, she's like, she stands,

she's very smart here. She stands in front of a clock. Yeah. And she takes off her, her robe to show her undergarments. Yes. It's very desirable to the teenage mind. And she's like,

Like, you're looking at me or you're looking at the clock? Oh, yeah. Clock. Oh, no, you this time. Sorry. No, I'm sorry. It's the clock. I just wanted to see you next to the clock.

I mean, have you seen a clock? Look how cool that clock looks. Look how big it is. That's a cool clock. Oh, you're naked? It's just a really great dichotomy, you and the clock. Can I just keep having sex with her while looking at the clock? It's you, I really love.

TikTok Did you just say TikTok Is you ejaculated? No No I didn't buzzer I mean Jesse But no So this is

This obviously like You know she gets Really skip the outfit Or just lingerie I thought this was a setup for like I thought she was put up by the bullies Me too To fuck with this kid

This is interesting That you guys both thought that Because I think there is a film Maybe we did an episode on it where there was oh wait a second oh I think it's coming to me I think it's that movie what was the movie we did last

spooktacular with Gene Simmons Evil snow trick or treat trick or treat yeah trick or treat there's a come to the pool we'll go swimming and the dude rolls up and a ton of people are there and he gets like humiliated in some fashion oh my God also another great pool humiliation yes

Chad too oh hackers is a good one But so she's like, you know, in Skippy Laundrae, the camera loves it. And the brother Strauss love it. And the worst part is these dudes break in. They're like, you loser, they start beating them up. She runs for her clothes. This camera follows her ass for like five fucking minutes, man.

Well, you know. Here's my IMDB trivia about that. It's the worst thing in the world. At 43 minutes, Jesse stripping down to her underwear at the school swimming pool is a nod to Ripley stripping out of her uniform in the final confrontation with the Z. you know, more of an alien in 1979. No, it's just an attractive woman in undergarments in a movie. It's a nod

to this, the brother Strauss collective boners. Dude, it's a nod to boners. Damn. Damn, you know, I thought this was going to be an homage to aliens. Turned out it was an homage to boners. You can come work for me in last face.

Did they come to see AVP or AV Boners? These are heroes coming to see this movie. They are heroes. master film. There'll be 300 firefighters coming to see your film.

They are heroes. Too much boner! Send it back. They wanted backdraft. You gave them bono draft. I don't even know what that means. This is my bono ruler.

I've been using it to hit boners for for decades now. It was given to me by my great uncle. Gordon Ramsey's boner ruler Now on Fox. Here's one of my favorite scenes in this. Please get us out of here.

Thank you. I'll do my best. Drive, drive, drive, drive. Burn. They find the cop hanging from a tree and he's been fillet a la Predator. They take him to the fucking medical examiner's office. This is the fucking best thing ever is the dude. You know you have had a horrendous death when you can impress the medical examiner.

This dude plays. the metal looks like he's like fucking like lips over the curtain and he's like wow damn that guy died well the best thing is because i think john artis is a new sheriff and like this dude very smartly is like you are in way over your head yeah please call the fbi i immediately no no i got it i got it what do you got what literally do you got oh did we finish the sexy swimming is that what did they're beating them off uh they throw them in the pool and then an alien pops up and kills one of those kids.

They all get in the pool. Yes, everyone goes with it. It's a fun fall into a pool. And then a xenomorph jumps in the water and is kind of like swimming like a shark. Zenomorphs love to be in water. They do.

Well, look at them. I mean, you know, they're very aquatic. Yeah, they got that, the fucking like cone head. You know, it helps you go faster through the water? Do you know how easily I dry out in the sun?

Oh, you. Oh, yeah. That'd be great. Like on top of a hot, rock. Oh man, xenomorph jerky, dude. Can you imagine? I need wetness. I need moisture. Okay, Stephen. Ew. Is it a pool? It's kind of great, though, because she's just like this, this woman, Jess is like, no, look out. And then these dudes start getting decimated by this thing. Jess and

Ricky and, uh, what's the name, Gary? Dale. Dale. Three of them make it out. One dude gets the fucking, he gets a, he gets a little tongue through the hand. situation. Well, the funny thing is, now we've got an alien in a high school, which I never thought I'd see. And I kind of didn't need it, but it was fine. I need it. Hold on a second. They didn't have mirrors at your high school? Wow.

Yes. Zinged. Damn. Oh, man. Nom, num, num, num, num, num, num, num, num, num, num, num, num, num, nom, nom, nom, nom, nom, nom, nom, nom, nom. All right, let's just talk about the ending now. I mean, like, yeah, I mean, this is kind of where we go. I mean, well, more stuff happens.

Oh, tons of stuff happens. We cut to the, we cut to the, the army lady and her daughter and she's like, Mom, there's a monster outside. And she's like, and the dad goes up to the window. He's like, no, there is it. And then a fucking alien gets him. Which is awesome because, so this movie came out

the same year that True Blood started. But in my mind, like Sam Trammell, like he's just a dude that was on a huge HBO show. Sure. So he's getting murdered right here. And I'd seen this only once before. And I was like, oh, fuck, what a move killing Sam. And I was like, no, no, he's nobody.

That doesn't matter. Also, you know he's fucking done for because there's a scene in a diner earlier where Pasquale and the veteran of the soldier, I forget her. Kaylee or something. Like, they like trade a flirty glance. Oh, right. Yeah. You're like, oh, okay. You're right, Kevin.

We are all, we are already setting up the fucking replacement husband slash father. Don't even worry about it. Cutting back to the diner really quick. The waitress, one of the, the waitress is like the wife of the guy who gets killed in the war. woods and she's very upset and she's waiting for her sister to pick her up and like she has this nice scene with the shorter to cook is like well Becky we can always have at our house I'm like oh it's a nice scene like you know this guy's dead uh he goes into the kitchen and you hear oh god and she goes in there and she doesn't see anything and then what follows her through a saloon door

which is a first for all of the alien franchise an alien a xenomorph opens a saloon door Yeah, that's right, much like a cowboy did and he fucking moses in the same way. It's tremendous. It is why I recommend this movie to see a xenomorph uses saloon door. And then this is also there's a little bit of Jurassic parking

happening right here. Because the xenomorph gets right down next to this woman's face and is doing like a... It's a pred alien actually because... Oh, is it? It has the special ability which is not described or anything where it uses its mouth tongue

to go inside this lady's mouth and can impregnate her on the mouth. It is a viscerally gross situation. You're totally right, Steve, and this is where I almost threw up. Because you see he's a, and it's like,

they have the effect of like the woman's throat, like moving, and I was just like gagged or eggs. I thought mouth stuff was saved. I mean, it's very much like when Tom and Jerry, when he eats a piece of cheese and his whole body turns into a triangle, like it's just it's very gross so like she's pregnant

and apparently the pred alien can one of its many special abilities it can get a couple of aliens per body which is pretty interesting yes yes but at first I was like hydra aliens is that what's happening here that was what was going on to

give me a three-headed xenomorph I thought that was happening I was really like oh man here let's do it three-headed xenomorph going through a saloon door With three cowboy hats on It's too much money, Sadek. We can't do it.

No, I need it. It's the dream. Listen, you want a two-head and see and more of Sainak. We can give that to you. But three, man, you're just insane. Through a what? A saloon door. It's just Steve having a midnight conversation with the ghost of Louis B.

Mayor. It can happen. I can get the money. You can put it all together. Whatever. So the aliens go to the hospital for some reason. Well, at first it's a power plant sequence, which takes a while. This is great because somehow the predator is aware of like, okay, if I knock out all the lights in this town, it'll be some sort of like fair fight or whatever.

So like he fucks up this power station. And what's awesome is it's kind of like the predator versus the natural. Because like all these lights are shooting down. down and slow motion to the Predator's like, fuck yeah, like admiring the work that he does. Yes, it's kind of... Listen, this movie is a dumb

fucking B-Sy-Hawrower movie, but that shot of like sparks and lights falling around the Predator, I was like, that's a pretty good shot. We don't know his backstory. He could be a retired baseball player. You know who should do Predator Baseball. That's full contact. That'd be great to see,

right? Like, what is that ball? Like, what does that look like? It must be a smaller animal. There's a bunch of spikes on it, too, somehow. Oh, yeah. It's like, you know what they play with? The little spiky thing from Mario. Oh, that little spiky turtle? Yeah. Oh, I'll never play the game

after my dad was in the white socks. Oh, fuck, you to Predator. Steve, how about this? You enjoyed the Pred Alien coming through Saloon Doors. Okay. How about a pred alien coming through a cornfield? Oh, that's. exciting. Right? He walks out with

shoeless Joe Jackson right next to him. It's just this pile of skinned bodies. Uh-huh. And he's like, why did you tell me to... Dude, I would love it, right? So then, like, Kevin Costner's daughter falls off the bleachers and starts choking on that hot dog. And the

predator, like, walks over, right? And then, like, he walks through the pred alien, rather, walks through, and he, like, becomes, like, an old man, pred alien, right? And he just looks down at the little girl and just chunk fucking tongue murder. And Kevin Costner, like, built an underground pyramid under the field? Yes.

And the movie is called Field of Screams. Yes, yeah, I think so. Costner might do that. He's on the downturn these days. Doesn't he have, he's got some show on the Paramount Network? Oh, yeah. Oh, Lordy. It's awful.

It's awful. Was it called Mosey or something? Yes. No, I mean, it's funny. It's a cowboy shit. It is cowboy shit, though. I'm getting so old when I saw the preview for that. I was like, hmm.

Hmm. I already got Longmire. I don't need a. another one. I don't, I don't watch you all right. You already have Longmire, my God. You've been watching Longmire, dude? I haven't. Is it good? It's pretty good. Starbucks on that, right? Yeah, she is. Yeah, yeah, she is. Are you whittling a chair while you watch that show or has that? I am whittling a pipe, excuse me. I feel like there's one of two ways, Steve is right, there's one of two ways to watch that show. You're either whittling wood or you're fucking tanning leather while watching Longmire. Well, some of you listen to, some of you watch goof. for you Rambo cartoons when you drink water some of us

drink watch old fucking cowboy shows listen listen I'll whittle wood as soon as I can pull the TV out onto the porch there you go how dare you mock what I do for entertainment

my own home cabin so then we kind of go to the hospital there's a lot of like set up weird hospital stuff where like the fucking pred alien is walking around to nursery for a little while Yeah, I was waiting for that because listen, that's the thing, dude, all bets are off. You killed that kid at the beginning?

I was like, come on, newborn nursery, let's do it. That's what I thought, like, in the back of my mind, I'm like, this is a really good movie. If the idea is that, like, we're going to kill out their young population. Oh, yeah. Like, we're going to kill all the pregnant women. That's way too much thinking. No, no, no, no. Way too much thinking.

I don't know. This is a smart monster thing or whatever the fuck. But I will say, all these little children shown in this. this scene. Little babies. Dozens of them in this room. Yeah. Do die at the end of the film when this town is nuked. Yeah. That's the thing we should mention, right? So Steve says

they get to the hospital. Half of the cast does. There's a thing where they're like, okay, the only way out of the town is by helicopter. One helicopter is too far on the other side of town. We'll never make it. The other helicopter is on the roof at the hospital. So they say, like, all right, we're going to go there. But John Ortiz and a couple of his other buddies are like, no, we've got to go to the center of town. John Ortiz has been on the horn with the army.

They're sending in backup. We just have to get to the center of town like the general told us. The U.S. government's never lied to anybody, which is a joke in the script. Yeah. So they split off and it's like Stephen Pascal, Ricky, Jess, rickety cricket, I think. And then like the soldier mother and the daughter all go in a tank to the high. hospital and John Ortiz, a couple other motherfuckers, getting a truck and go to the center attempt. The hunter's wife, the hunter's widow, I guess. I just want to quickly mention right

before this, they're in a sporting goods store and Dale's face gets melted by alien blood. You're right. And this bully just fucking just melts. It's fantastic. It's really satisfying. It's what you want to happen to every bully. It's imagine what I'm imagining this is missing in the cut edition, but I don't know. Yeah, probably. This is particularly brutal. Because it looked like I was going to get another fucking tongue kill, and I was like, no, don't you fucking dare with this

piece of shit. And then, like, yeah, I think the predator shoots him in the head, and then the alien, the goop comes out. The goop comes out. It's pretty great. Oh, yeah. So that... Bullies faces melted down. Also, who are these, like, two stoners that run the store?

Because it's a weird thing about this movie for the most part. Like, it is, it Towards the end, it gets a little more indiscriminate, but you know who dies and who's not going to die. Oh, sure. So take a look at these two party animals. Exactly. Two party animals, like, hey, are you stoned?

Like, yes. Well, you're already dead. I'm not agreeing with you because there was one death I was shocked by. It happens at the end. Yes. Yes. But for the most part, you're like, oh, these are the, like, you know, when Rickety Cricket gets in the thing, you're like, yeah, he's not going to make it.

Oh, well, it's riggedy cricket. Just look at him. Well, he is anti-making making it to end credit. If you didn't know already. just because you saw the numbers. Yeah, yeah. Like, he says, like, we have to protect the person who knows how to fly the helicopter. He's like, what is this, the Titanic Women First?

That sex is. Damn! Yeah, it was like, that dude's not long for this world at all. So we get to the hospital. By the way, the other thing is this general that John Ortiz is talking to on the horn is clearly crooked. And he's clearly going to bomb this fucking town. We keep cutting the shots of, like, this general. looking at blast radius graphs

and it's like, you know, this much of the town, it's immediate destruction, this much town will burn and this much of the town's going to have shit like flung at it from the explosion and thus will also be destroyed. And again, the general is played by Robert Joy, who by the way

is nobody. I thought it was Seth Myers Sr. He does look like a haggard Seth Myers, this guy. They wanted Adam Baldwin and Adam Baldwin said no, internet toilet said no. Dude, when the fucking internet toilet flushes you, that's a problem. Let me ask you.

That's a real problem. Let me ask you something, producer. Could you show a thing where there's a gay bar right before the nuke goes off? Because if you could do that, I am in for this movie. I'm your colonel. They apparently wanted to reprise his role from, I guess he's in two. Predator two, yeah, for a minute. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I thought they wanted to reprise his role as Animal Mother. He secretly was not killed in Vietnam, dude. Actually, every movie he's in, he re-apprises his role. I would say it would be awesome if it was Carl Weathers. You don't actually see him die in Praterty. Do you see his arms get cut off? But, like, he's got no arms? Robot arms, dude.

Do you see both his arms get cut off in that movie? I think it may be just the one. I better consult the Blu-ray tonight after you guys get the hell out of here. But you don't necessarily see him actually die. That's true. Oh, fuck, dude, Carl Weathers with two, like, Jack's arms. If you had two like robotic metallic arms That would be amazing

It would be something Get Bill Duke with a hologram head Oh my God Stealing from tank girl No thanks How about make the nuke The ticking clock Make it known

And then have like the government Send in like this one guy Who dealt with them before You know if it's not Dutch It's Carl Weathers or someone I mean So just send me a beef cake You're totally right

Government issued beef cake How in any of these movies Have we not had a reprisal of any of those because they offer no money at that I guess so but like man I feel like around that time though Arnold had like

was he still governor until like 2010 or 11th was he okay so that I guess it was out of the question Danny Glover will do a fucking bit for it I mean he never was in contention but I think probably money fell through or something like that he did that song movie probably for nothing that's true right I mean so when was we're all tenon bombs

oh that's 2001 my apologies that was the start of our forever war and so yeah they're in the hospital Rick and Triggins gets like mauled by a bunch of aliens pretty violently it's not half bad

and this is the kill that Chris was shocked by and so as I we're going on a corridor it's the people who are left are Kelly who's the mom the girl Jess. Jesse, it's Kelly, by the way. Oh, the little girl.

The little girl, her daughter, yeah, Kelly, her daughter, Jess, who's the love interest for Ricky, Ricky, and the other guy, whatever his name is. And you're like, okay, I see what this is kind of, this is our last cast. And out of nowhere, this fucking thing comes and impales Jess. It's right and a half. It's pretty amazing. It's violent. It's really weird. And it comes out of nowhere. And like, this guy's like, no, Jess. Well, because I was certain Like they're making it And they're like the next generation It lives on

And probably Dallas is gonna fucking Die at something We do have to say Dallas sucks You can't say Dallas It's such a stupid name And I apologize to anyone out there named Dallas For being named Dallas No I mean

It's a bad nod to the alien It's a bad nod to alien Oh That's Tom Scarrots Yes you're totally right Oh that fucking stinks Yeah I didn't even think about that

Yeah that fucking really stinks movie Don't make me hear Dallas nonstop. And also, this is the character that's built up to be cool. He's an ex-con, kind of coming back to town, mysterious past. Well, Dallas is... He's filled with references. Like, on top of him being named after Scarrett, he totally says, when they're in the hospital, he says, we have to get to the chopper.

He yells, get to the chopper. When they're on top, and Ricky, when he's going to sacrifice himself, he says, get to the... it's exactly like the fucking... It's an unforgivable character and I understand now why people don't like this film. And he gets the predator gun and he's just using it. It's like, cool, I know how to use a predator gun.

Like, no, that you can't. It's like the side canon that falls off of Mr. Wolf, I guess, the cleaner. Harvey Kitell drops his predator gun. No, that's why they called him Wolf was because of Pulp Fiction. Really? No, come on. And that's what the trivia said.

That is really fucking stupid. Now, listen. in here, everybody. You can't just be making shit up on IMD and putting it down as trivia. That's fair. You got to cite fucking sources, man. You got to get into it.

You got to get the little bits of skull and brain out and you've got to wash it. You've got to wash it hard. You've got to clean it all. Not enough predators taking trophies in this movie. Yeah. Where is all the fucking skull clean? Well, the human pelt, I guess.

My theory with that is this dude is like, oh, we're a fucking alien outbreak. Yeah, all right. I got fucking 7,000 of those skulls at home. And then he gets down to Earth and he's like, I never fucking killed a guy before. He's like, well, I better fucking bring one pelt back so I could fucking turn it into leather

while I'm watching Longmire. The Predator version of Longmire. Predator Cowboys. Oh, this taste is horrible. Oh, how can they do? Oh, that's disgusting. I'm never going to kick. I'm never going to cook a baby again.

don't the predators and predator two get like Ruben Bladis like don't they get his fucking skull bleached yeah oh yeah oh yeah speaking of the cooking babies human meat human meat yeah yeah quick question I don't know if anyone knows this because like humans are supposed to be like pork so that means like you can't do like medium rare right

you got to do like you cook it all the way through you got to cook it all the way through you can't do I don't think you can stimp on that okay you do want the skin to be crispy though you want to leave it right on the grill for a long time You've got to put the broiler on at the end. You do the skin side down for the most of it and then turn it for like the last 20, 10 seconds.

And then if you want to do it really right though, then you take it out, you give another like 20 minns in the oven like 3-7-5. Dude, that's the zombie filet. We do need to talk about the pregnant women because... Oh yeah, this is another disgusting part of this movie. The pred alien, like... And I don't know, like I feel like the last thing aliens should be doing

is messing with pregnant women that thing is full there's too much going on in there I think that this pred alien just likes making out with babes Oh right That's also entirely possible Oops I didn't mean to get you pregnant With my babies

It's just it's so disgusting It's just like he goes into this room And there's like four pregnant women there And he's like Ha-cha-cha Excuse me Could you not kinkshay me I just happen to like pregnant babies more

Disgusting because then their bellies explode and there's all these aliens coming out of them. By the time the human characters get into this room, it is... It looks like a fucking slaughterhouse in there. It is horrifying. It's a mess. They do get to the roof.

Kelly knows how to fly the helicopter. She's doing it. And Stephen Pesquale's like, look, everybody, I'm going to heroically sacrifice myself because I'm the white guy. Oh, I think, by the way, Ricky gets, like, shanked by an alien tail at some point. Yes, but they totally miss the heart.

Yeah. So he's, like, he's, like, injured. and we're fighting he's like blasting everybody excellently with this gun the predator who you think is dead he falls in an elevator shaft comes up at the last second

and starts murking more people and now it's finally the pred alien versus predator you know it's it's a big showdown it's a big showdown it's a big fight to the death and he like throws down all his weapons he's like all right let's do it baby

I love that the predator is just like fuck this it is go time no weapons dude it's like an end of lethal weapon slaps on dude slaps only like golden eyes slappers only and like Gary Busey fucking aliens

all teeth well no you know what the thing is what happened it does start raining isn't it raining yeah there was a predator whip at one point what is with that predator whip dude talking about king shaming fucking predator whip

what happens is why the predator does throw down his guns and he's ready to take his own life really is he got a message on his little armband from the Predator High Councils, we know you're on Earth from your pension is now discontinued. We've cleared your bank account. We're closing on your house.

That stunt you pulled pulling out of here, breaking through that hull. It's coming out of your fucking account. The Predator High Council sends them like a video and it's his fucking ex-wife and son getting executed in the town square. It's like, well, buddy, you have nothing left to live for now. That's crazy.

One last go. Might as well kill this thing that I'm kind of related to and save these people I could eat and rule over there's another bullshit part around here Stephen Pesquil takes out the last alien before this fight happens and he has a

fuck you and shoots it in the head but this is another case if this thing's head explodes where is the acid all over this dude's face absolutely and we have a was this does anybody remember when this came out was it released in as like

did they have an option to see it in No, it was not. Because this shot, like when he says, fuck you and shoots the xenomorph in the head, that fucking skull comes up to the camera and then like falls back a little. I was like, was this supposed to be 3D? Oh, ew.

Oh, it's just badly made. So as the helicopter's going off, the alien, the predator, like he uses Wolverine claw. He takes helmet removal, by the way. Yes, and goes right through the alien and that kills both of them kind of a thing. Oh, no. And actually at the same time, the predator tongue goes.

He uses a whip, I believe. He goes tail. No, the tail. The pre-alian's tail goes right up and through the torso of Mr. Predator Wolf. Right as the helicopter goes off. By the way, in the middle of town square, John Ortiz is like, yo, is that a rescue coming or what? Man, there's a lot of aliens over here. It's so awesome. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The coats are by the back.

The dude, this fucking general is like, yeah, sheriff, we're about 10 minutes out. And he's like, okay, good. And it's fucking awesome because they look up when this, the help gets there. And it's just they see this one stealth bomber. And you can see the look at John Ortiz. He's like, oh, fuck. Yeah. And this dude drops two fucking missiles on this town square.

That's, but you know what? That's perfect because at least now he doesn't have to hear the told you so. Yeah, he's been incinerated, so it's fine. Great way to wrap this up. And realistic. the government would fucking salt this dirt dude there's fucking xenomorphs

yes you bet I hope I vote for people because they will fucking nuke a town infested by xenomorphs it's like the town somebody needs to make the dream catcher yes so it needs to make the hard decisions

I'm sorry like look this cannot come to me are we sure this isn't a Godzilla situation where the fucking nuke is going to give more powers to the aliens look we're not talking nuke's cabin we're just talking a couple of bombs just drop that shit down

No, these are nukes, dude. It looks like a new. Are they nukes? I mean, if it's an alien fucking epidemic, yeah, you nuke the thing. I'm just saying, you know, but you wouldn't need a nuke to do that, man. These things can be shot with guns. Yeah, but we're America. We go big.

We go big, baby. Just 1A bomb. Can't hurt anyone. So they crash because of the nuclear fallout, they crash. They get picked up by the military. The military steals, they steal his gun. They steal his predator gun. Oh, Stephen Pasquale had the predator gun.

Yeah, he was like to hawk that shit on eBay. That's his retirement fund, dude. Uh, yeah, you have six days to bid on this alien firearm. I was waiting for a twister where the military just guns them down. Yes, that would have been awesome, dude. Yeah, I had a bunch of insurance. It all burned up. Sorry, I actually had three houses.

I didn't come from jail. I did not come from jail. So the stinger here is really stupid. Oh, it's stupid as fuck. It's Robert Joy as this general who is like, three lines and like he goes up to this woman two of the three lines are we'll be there in 10 minutes he's like the pizza tracker uh and he goes up to this lady and he's like here's the gun miss utani oh and wailing utani the company from the alien franchise like fucking fuck you

dude we've never seen this is the only mention of utani in this even in prometheus it's all Whalen. Yeah. Obviously, this has nothing to do with Prometheus, clearly. But I mean, like... No, but, like, you're right. It's a stupid thing to shoehorn in. Also, because, like...

It doesn't mean anything. When we get to Alien, it's not like they have... Like, Tom Scarrett's not walking around with a fucking predator blaster. Oh, my God. Tom Scarrett's dressed up like the Predator. It's like, thank goodness Alien versus Predator happen. Now I can make sure it work of these aliens. That fucking character is just walking down...

That Dallas is walking around the fucking pack of cigarettes. That's what he's army with. Maybe I can kill these aliens. with a nice town's van Zandtune. It's just so dumb, and it's just like, it's a clearly, it's a thing for the fans, and I think for the fans, things are okay. Sure.

But not when they make no goddamn sense. They make no sense. Well, actually the last line is like, well, she's like, oh, yeah, these things don't belong on this world. And then he goes, well, I guess they're not weighed for this world, are they, Miss you, Tani? Like, what are you even setting up?

It's a movie that's going to be called Space Guns. Yeah, one for space guns I would totally go see space guns You kidding me Yeah, one adult and one child Does he see space guns? I didn't see two guns Still haven't

No, you don't have to see those Two guns That's a Mark Walberg and Denzel Washington Oh, what the hell was I thinking of With Ryan Philippi and Benisiel Deltora Oh, pardon me Which I will see Which I did see

Yeah, I thought you will see No, I did see it It's okay Christopher McQuarrie Yeah Oh shit Oh shit bro Yeah

Yeah it's okay Oh is this Is two guns The sequel to weigh Of the gun Yeah Mark it is Oh shit I'm playing

Ryan Philippe's character Fuck Yo it looks like That bro works out Dude ironically Enough You say that You know who plays

Shooter in the USA series Is Ryan Philippe It's all Shooter McGavin Oh wait No you mean the Mark Wahlberg movie with Danny Glover

to bring it all back around to Predators. Oh, nice. A little bit shoehorned, but I'll take it. We should call this show IMDB Funhouse, shouldn't we? We should be the failing IMDB Funhouse. IMDB Funhouse. IMDB Funhouse. Get back here with my trivia.

Website trivia works for me. And yeah, that's the end. We end on that fucking dumb. And it's not even a stinger. That's like the end of it. the movie. It's just the proper end of this movie, I guess. Which also you know what that reeks of, though?

Sequel set? That's a fucking sequel set of my friend. Absolutely. And then we fucking flushed the toilet at the box office, didn't we? Yeah. Well, they also released this movie on Christmas Day. Oh, that's right. I forgot about that. Oh, what can you talk? This is an August 5th, if there ever was an August

5th. You know what that is? That is a cocaine decision. That is what that is. That is, let's go big. Motherfucker. of going on Christmas versus the biggest fucking movies of the year. Was this a Fox film? Did Fox put this out? What a fucking Duke Tastrophe. What a blunted. Of course Disney

ate them alive. I mean, not rightfully but Christ. What Christmas Day for an alien movie that makes no fucking sense. Now that you're saying that it's all rushing back to me and I remember 10 years ago making fun of that decision. Oh fuck. That's the movie though. Would anybody recommend it? Yeah, it's a lot of fun. A lot of cool dance.

No characters to speak of. Not that really matters. I would like some interesting screen presences to bounce some of these fucking cool debts off of. Even get Tom Atkins for Christ's sake. He'd do it. He would get the job done. But yeah, it's a recommend for me. Yeah, I'd like

recommend. I could see this potentially being a hangover movie. Sure. A little loud. Yeah, it's a little loud. They do get the booms when they're like coming in from space. But other than that, I mean, yeah, totally recommend. Yeah, I do think it's fun.

I think it improves upon the original. I've got it, by the way. I think this is it. You're totally right. This is better than AVP. We don't have someone trying to romance one of these creatures. That's great. Oh, right.

I forgot about that. And it's not boring. That was the biggest crime of AVP one for me as I found it pretty boring. And this is like kind of nonstop insanity. Yes, it's too dark. I've read your comments. The film is very lit, very dark. Yeah, it is.

Yeah, it looks like garbage. but I but it's I had a fun time watching it so yeah it's a fucking 200% recommend for me man I saw this movie a few years ago unlike our off time we played a show in Chicago and there was some off time and I just got a screening of this in and I was having a fucking ball was that right after AVB probably was to tell you the truth yeah we were eating at the the golden apple diner and then I went back and watched a great place oh I'm I'm surprised. You didn't go Christmas Day?

You didn't hit the theater, you and your dad? Did you eat Christmas? I mean, did you eat breakfast Christmas? Oh, ABC, dude, Andrew versus Christmas? Get some turkeys in that thing. I would also, I would say that this is a hangover movie.

Why I love it is it's just a slasher movie with fucking alien gleepe-glops doing the killing. Like, you put in Jason Voorhees, it's just a fucking slasher movie. It's actually, it's not really true to either franchise. where the first one's trying to do both the same time but also turns into a bad like adventure movie

this is just to your point in slasher movie it's not trying to do either no and you know I honestly think it would be a good hangover movie because you don't have to pay attention to dittily ding dong dick dude there is nothing going on in this movie except cool kills and explosions and fucking pred tech I want more

of that predator home world that is a huge problem for me I had a big brother like did you show me that and it's like and then nothing maybe that happens in that predator Or also, I mean, you know, Netflix has a lot more invisible money. I could make a Predator series where it's own. Man, that is AVP Aliens versus Predator,

Colin Requium, directed by Zabrothers Strauss. Colin and Greg. If you want more We Hate Movies, check out WHMpodcast.com. You can find us over on the HeadGub Network also. And for more content, check out Patreon.com slash We Hate Movies. We got a fucking raucous ready player one. episode going this month. Star Trek shows animation damnation. We're talking droids. Yes, Star Wars colon, droids, which is, uh, turns out to be a fantastic

tune. So there's going to be an episode on that. That's that. That's out. Our Star Trek show, the Nexus, this month we're talking about a taste of Armageddon for TOS and we'll always have Paris for TNG. Oh shit. There it is. A romantic sexy episode. Finally, I get fucking laid almost. Take this uniform off. Steve Zadak, what are we talking about for next week on the program? We are doing the remake of the

Stepford Wives. Oh, yeah, this was a fucking... We're in Wauken County, right? Oh, yeah. He's the one in charge of it all. Matthew Broderick's trying to get to the bottom of the mystery bed. So until next week with the Stefford Wives remake.

I'm Andrew Jupin. Stephen Saneck. Chris Cabin. Hey, Eric Siska. Take it easy.