We Hate Movies - S9 Ep381: Episode 381 - Hellraiser III: Hell on Earth

Episode Date: October 2, 2018

On this week's episode, the 2018 Halloween Spooktacular kicks into high gear as the gang talks about the insane and unnecessary sequel, Hellraiser III: Hell on Earth! Why does this sleazy guy have a business that's half gross gutter club, half five-star restaurant? Why does Pinhead need tasty blood to be resurrected? And who is naming all these Cenobites? PLUS: Pinhead gives Jay Leno his big break! Hellraiser III: Hell on Earth stars Terry Farrell, Doug Bradley, Kevin Bernhardt, Paula Marshall, and Ken Carpenter as "Doc the Cameraman;" directed by Anthony Hickcox. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The beloved Halloween spooktacular returns to talk about, what's that say? Oh, Hellraiser 3, hell on earth. Oh, fuck me. I'm Andrew Jupin. Stephen Sadek. Chris Cabin bite. Eric Siska.

If there was ever a call for an Eric Sisko bite. I don't want to be a set of bite. And we hate movies. mad sometimes you know it's Halloween I guess everyone's entitled to one good scare on sometimes death is whether zombies have entered the building they're at the door they're coming in it is time to keep your appointment with the wicker man they're coming to get you Barbara Now, Sid, don't you blame the movies.

Movies don't create psychos. Movies make psychos more creative. Put the fucking looser in the bad. What's an excellent day for an exorcism. Hello, everyone. Welcome to the program. Thank you for tuning in, as always. This is it, gang.

The 2018 Spooktacular is now on. I just want one time, like, there's going to be a big shot movie producer. He listens to this show, and he's like, you know, that one guy, that Chris Cabin was the best one. I want to give him a million dollar check. And he lists the whole thing as well, I can't find this Chris Cabinobite. I guess I'll burn this million dollar check. Sir, sir, sir.

No, but it's a joke name. I would purposely always pronounce that Cabino bite, though. How cool is that sound? We are talking about Hellraiser 3 colon, hell on earth from 1992 directed by Anthony Hickokx. I love names like that because it just sounds like hiccup. Yeah, a little bit. Just to bully this guy's name a little bit up top. Someone will tweet us and say it's pronounced,

Hecox. Well, no, I do think, I do think you get an extra point if you're a horror director with an X in your name. Yeah, that's pretty boss. It is pretty boss, man. And what, X is in horror? What does that signify? Is that like a cross or something?

Oh, danger. Like the mystery. Like the poison bottles. Much like the poison bottles. They have the X gene, much like. like the X-Men. Oh, nice. And also the fine line

between horror and pornography. Oh, that's right. Oh, that's the finest of lines if you can find it. So I will say up top, I'm not, and I think I've made this abundantly clear on the air over the years.

I'm not what you'd call a quote-unquote fan of this franchise. I don't like these movies. Well, that's because it sucks. Like, I understand where people will say, like, oh, even the first one, I mean, I just, I don't like the whole, I don't like watching people get slayed, man.

Yeah, I'm kind of there. I actually think the first one's totally fine and almost even like a good movie. It's just kind of not for me. Like it's totally, I think it's good actually. It's kind of like a fucking franchise. I'll go on the record. The first one's good, the rest are not.

Yeah, the first one's got the best like narrative. It feels more like a real horror movie. Yeah, like a movie. It is like a movie. Like Steve, I'll be honest. Okay, the nun are great. And the rest are garbage. Oh, you liked The Nun?

The Nun. You saw The Nunn, Bro? No, not the Nun. Oh, N-O-N-E-O-I see what Chris Cabin was going to there. The absence of these movies. I thought he was talking about newly terrifyingly released film The Nun. There's a Netflix knock-off Nun, I think. Or maybe it's on Amazon.

It's one of those like... It's an asylum piece of like... You can't copyright a religious outfit. Gotcha. And it's just straight up called a gunner? It's a scary nun. Or it's like, yeah, something like that. You fucking scumbens. bags. So, you know, I got a question about

this franchise. Sure. I don't think it makes much sense. Because it's like, okay, Lucifer Falls, right? We got that, boom. Check. Yeah, there's got a timeline going. We're staying way back there. Well, I mean, we're the foundation of hell. Prolog. If we're starting there, I'm going to

run a whiteboard over here. Yeah, okay. Established year zero or is it one, I don't know. Whatever Christ wait, no, no, he's not related to this. No, he's like a cousin. Kissing cousin to Elizabeth. Okay. So Lusiver Falls. Yes.

Sure. Where do they get all these fucking, like, chains and puzzle boxes already? Like, no, wouldn't it be like ropes? Well, as we're told. In, like, the early days, like, in that era, would would a centa bite show up and, like, shoot ropes at you? Are you just forgetting hell's industrial period? Yeah, I mean, over the years, they have built up. This is what I mean.

All it takes is one crooked blacksmith to get damned, and now we're making chains. I know, but this is like, this is like industrial revolution stuff. I got to say, uh, if you. You jump one sequel ahead, I think. Whatever the one is where it's like multiple time period. That is the next one. Bloodline, I believe. In that one, you are shown the construction of like the original puzzle box or whatever.

Okay. And it's this motherfucker just carving your shit out of wood. And it's kind of funny because like it's this dude like blood sweat and tears like crafting this puzzle box or whatever. This was an evil tree I cut down. And it's awesome because like his wife comes in and he's like, it's done. And she's like, oh, that's it. and this dude is so insulted. It's fucking hilarious.

But it was originally made out of wood. That's crazy. So now that's George Washington's teeth. Yeah, I mean, like back then. George Washington had Hellraiser puzzle boxes for teeth. Oh, dude, the centibite's got Martha. Don't worry about it. Back in that era, like a centabyte would just like suffocate you with hay or something.

Suffocated with hay. Benedict Donald was definitely a centivite. Oh, totally. Oh, no, no, no, no. We're not going to tell everyone about the centibite. This is a war. It's a tense situation. Centobites are just traitors. They're just traitors. Benedict, could you take your leather outfit off and put on this?

Okay, put it on over it. That's fine. No, that's fine too. Yeah, either, whatever. He's got like a tri-corner hat, like melded into his skull. All we've got is paper and cloth here, buddy. I don't know what you're looking for. So, I mean, the first, I mean, this centibite, I mean, I don't know, if you've seen a Hellriser movie or not, Hall Riser. Oh, Paul Riser in Hellriser. Oh, what am I going to do? Look at all this. We've got people coming over for dinner. I got the pinhead over here. Oh, my God. James, help me out here. I have such terrible pleasures to show you. Me and this adorable dog are going to open up this puzzle box. And hell is mad about you.

Here was a true fright the other day. My wife and I happened to unfortunately be walking through Times Square. You know who we saw? Who's that? Cousin Paulie. Oh, wow. Yeah, I was like, what's this fucker doing walking 40 seconds? Oh, no, you mean cousin Ira? Oh, Ira. I called them Cousin Polly that day, too. Did you yell it out? No, I was like, Chelsea, look, Cousin Paulie. And she was like, who? Yeah.

Yeah, Cousin Ira. I fucking saw Cousin Ira. So the guy's like, what? Isn't it Cousin Ira's girlfriend who's in this? No. Cousin Ira's girlfriend. The J.D, the girl, Joey, the girl that Joey takes in. Oh, no.

You know, that's actually. She was on it. She was on mad about you. She was on everything. She's in PCU, I believe, for a little bit. Oh, is that right? Wow. Much more.

accomplished than I thought. You see these people sometimes that come through these Hellraiser movies. It's like, eh, this picks up sort of after the last movie wherein the pinhead is sort of destroyed because Ashley Lawrence, that lady, shows him his humanity, and he's

like, thank you for releasing me. And then he dies. Blah, blah, blah, blah. But just stuff happens. And now we open up and it's a whole new game for the Hellraiser franchise. We're leaving that whole family alone. Right. But this is where it's like you've got to stop making these movies. Because this

is a thing, I believe it's firmly right from here, even though the next one is like all about the mythology and whatnot, but this is like, we had a script that's just a thing about something and then it's like, we'll just jam some hellraiser shit in it. That's not this. That's

the later of the... But doesn't this feel like this though? Like I know the later ones most definitely, but this one's just like it's a Scuzzy club owner that's got this like BDSM club slash five star restaurant. We'll get there. I don't know. It just feels like two movies are constantly fighting each other.

Well, I'll say it does feel like an early script of Dark City. Oh, yeah, you're right. Right when it starts, like desolate nothing blackness, and then J.D., this Seamusochistic fucking club owner. J.P., my friend. J.P. Okay. Morgan? No, okay.

Close, Monroe. And he goes to this art gallery in the middle of fucking nowhere, Brooklyn? It's like a wind. Chimes store, mostly. It's mostly wind chimes. We sell mostly wind chimes, but also haunted artifacts. And it's amazing because it's got this

hobo work in there who is obviously a haunted hobo. The first two movies have a haunted hobo. I'd watch that movie. It's true because later on, someone's like walking a dog outside. They're like, what do you mean that art gallery? It burned down 20 years ago. That must have been a haunted hobo

who gave you that necklace. Never buy art from a hobo. Good life, lesson. And never by arcs. It's like, wow, it's this pillar and you could clearly see Pinhead's head sticking out of it and the box there. It's right there. And the guy's like, wow, this is going to be cool. How much you want for

it? It's like, how much are you willing to sell it? How much are you willing to part for it? I'm like, yeah, I'm cool. Thanks so much. Yep, no, because that's a hobo response. That guy's, you could be like, I would like to buy the sculpture for a can of beans. Actually, it needs to be a bit more than a where there's

candy. I need something. Oh, no, not with the Wither's again, dude. How about three huts at a cot? You can get that by just throwing a brick through a window. Getting arrested. Yes, yes. But, you know, again, we actually should support the homeless in this country and give them a place of sleep and some food.

And we should actually keep them away from Hellraiser artifacts. Exactly. That's the thing. If we keep them off the streets, they don't become haunted hobos. If you have no hobos at all, zero chance of a haunted hobo. I don't know. I think this hobo gets out of their, like, scot-free. He gets, like, what,

10 bucks from this fucking asshole? And then he takes the... He vanishes, basically, right? He certainly goes away. You never know if he was, like, you know, really there. Does he go down to hell? Does he have, like, a little staircase behind a couch where he's doing that little thing?

Let me go check in the basement. Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh. So this scumbag buys this sculpture that's clearly haunted. And I mean, how does he transport? supposed to be a days-long event. Yeah, no, thanks to the magic of editing, the movie doesn't have to worry about any of that. First of all, you have to move all of the wind chimes out of the

store out of there, because you're going to be moving, you've got to get a whole moving crew out there. And nothing breaks more easily than wind chimes, do. So you've got to get those right out of the way. This is the pyramid gallery, by the way. Try and untangle a wind chime? Fucking forget it. That's a Hellraiser. That's a lament configuration.

Oh, the lament puzzle configuration. I have such frustrating day chores to show you. Oh, looks like your Apple iPhone headphones are wrapped in your pocket. Good luck unsolving that riddle. Look at all these coins and crumbs

at the bottom of your backpack. Oh, how about this? Your zipper on your hoodie went over the fabric. Oh, what a distasteful challenge that awaits you. Or this happened to be this weekend. You're changing an overhead fluorescent light bulb in your house,

but you accidentally drop it. And, uh-oh, you have to keep two cats away from it. Oh, dude, well, that is a hell spawn challenge. Dude, it was fucking all fucking Saturday. That's insane. Yeah. Just shattered. Just shattered like a little, and all those, you know, a fluorescent light bulb. It turns it to powder.

It's like dust. You can breathe that in and it'll just rip apart you like a centabyte. Well, you're like not unlike a centabyte. Oh, man, fucking fluorescent setabite? Oh, yep. That's, I'm into it. Ooh, yeah, he's just like chewing glass. Hey, so Doug Bradley plays Pinhead.

He played Pinhead for most of the movies. He doesn't anymore. As of 2018, we are still putting out Hellraiser movies, by the way. Insane. It's craziness. But let me ask you guys this about Doug Bradley. How, just how? On a scale of like one to Tim Burton, how creepy is this guy's house?

You think he's into it or is he like, it was just a role? I think he's got a poster somewhere, for sure. That, I think, is definitely happening. I think you're right in his study. And then other than that, I think he stays clear of it. Yeah, it's like, oh, Clive, with the leather again. Right, because you know Clive Barker's the weirdo here, right? He's got a real fucking prince of darkness mansion.

The problem with being pinhead, professionally being pinhead is every birth... Not amateurishly being pinned in a Halloween costume. Every Christmas and birthday, you're getting pinhead gifts. You're getting like, oh, look, you're in a dark. Well, actually, I just like... Okay, cool. Well, I just played King Leia, but fine. I'll take your fucking bondage costume.

Another double-sided, spiky dildo. Thank you so much. I'll put it with the rest. Oh, the good thing about these joke gifts is that they never stop being funny. That's not half as bad as he probably gets fucking talked down to by Kane Hodder and Robert England

at all these goddamn... Give it them wedgies at the conventions? Oh, Mr. Pinhead. Can't even get your name in the title there. huh? I like it. I think he's right. I think we're out of something here. But fucking Kane Hodder. Oh, wow. Kane harder. You know, excellent acting there, Kane. At least I had a line. Oh, I love the idea of all these like horror guys just fucking sniping at each other. You get Warlock in here. Doug Bradley's in. Oh, fuck. Here comes Angland. Everybody just pretend you don't

see him. Oh, Robert. Hi. I read about the goal. Goldberg's super exciting. I'm definitely going to tune in. Jesus Christ. I saw an ad for that on Twitter and I couldn't scroll away faster. He's talking about how like he can't play the character anymore. He's like I can't whip my neck around fast. And I'm like, yeah, because you're an old man, dude, it's fine. And really, the Goldberg's Jesus. Also, Freddie Krueger is not so much about the neck whipping. Like, congratulations. Yeah, totally. It's the makeup. Also, is it like his nightmare now? Because suddenly we're still in the 80s and he's like 80 years. years old. Totally stuck in the 80s forever, dude. Like all of these characters should have been. I gotta say, this was a weird thing. This franchise, as much as I ignored it for most of my life, I think was

like up front a lot. Like a lot of the the Hellraiser posters, I feel, were featured in a lot of the indie video stores around. Like, they were really plugging the shit out of something I just did not have any interest in watching. People were renting it.

People wanted to see that kind of stuff back then there you know there was a whole like gen x yuppie shit which is when you know j p monroe's business that's what that is right yeah these are the people that popularized uh like uh hellraiser and cyberpunk and all the other weird niches and and and you know like coffee and uh you know all the other things they like speaking of 80 years old man um coffee because that's what you know the the restaurant and the nightclub it's the it's the yeah The restaurant's much more, I guess, the yuppie thing, but they're still hip. They're still with it.

Yeah. Well, that's why J.P. Monroe, man, he's a genius. He's getting scum on both sides. Well, he's got a restaurant and a crazy fucking grunge gutter nightclub. And then he's got an apartment as well, all in one big complex. I can't believe he's living in that apartment, man. The noise alone. He's a great soundproofing.

Excellent soundproof. But is it a club, a venue, a restaurant, and then an apartment? Yeah, I think it's all of it. And it's fucking nuts. And it's at the four seasons. It's like really, like really, really fancy, like, upscale restaurant. Oh, welcome to the boiler room. Are you here for the anthrax concert or the, uh, or the filet mignon?

You know what it reminded me of? I was thinking about this. It was like how Cheers was like the scuzzy bar and then you went upstairs to Melville's and you needed to put a jacket on. That's what I think this situation is. Like, you can get to the restaurant if you're inside the boiler room and vice versa. but like when you go into the restaurant you got to put a jacket and it can't be a leather daddy jacket

straight jacket is what you should put on for going to this place. Steve be serious anthrax would never do this. This is armored saint. The fucking bottom of the barrel. Another thing that always kept me away from the Hellraiser movies was I always kind of felt like I listened to the wrong music to watch those. Yeah, you're listening to

armored saint apparently. Is that a tin machine who appears on this even though I love Bowie? There's a tin machine tune on here. Really? I didn't know that. So tin machine and armored scene. Are those centibytes? Yes, it probably are. A.k.a. Centebite names. Oh, shit. Wizard of Oz had a centibite in it.

Absolutely. The Tin Man, right? Absolutely. That's what, I think that's what Pinhead, that's where he came from. Really? Yeah. That guy showed some people some fucking delicious sights. Don't worry. The Wizard? The Wiz? No, the tin man. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I just ate a munchkin. I'm sorry. I just flayed a delicious tiny munchkin. I finally munchkin. I finally got a finally got the heart I wanted. No, it's not my own. It's someone else's because I'm a centibite. I'm the Tidman. I'm the heart ripper's centipide. He wanted a heart, right? He did. He did.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And what the lion want? He wanted courage. And the straw man wanted a brain. Civilization. Just like you. I mean, like, yeah. I mean, that's going on. When it was in a Vaz, I mean, like, it's, it's, it's, it's, you need. Most of them want biological things. It's like courage. I don't know, dude. Yeah. Yeah. You know, you know, you know, gut up, man. Fuck you, lion. Do you mean testicles? Is that what you're trying to get at here, Lion? By the way, Chris, he just hands him a pair of testicles. What am I supposed to do with these? Well, now I don't have to even go on the journey.

I got my balls in my hand. Rocky Mountain Oysters. That's right. Fry them up. Do a little hot sauce. Don't even worry about it. I'm packing a four pack here. Chris, by the way, the straw man?

Yeah, whatever. Scarecrow, motherfucker. No, the straw man. Straw man. You're the straw man. Okay. So, we cut to a hospital where we meet Joey, who's played by Jeddahized. I never got her. Jazeera?

Jizza Dax. Just call it Dax for crying out loud. Is that the actress's name? No, Terry Farrell is the actress. She was on Star Trek Deep Space Nine. It's J-A-D-Z-I-A, I believe. J-Zia. J-Zia.

Just call her Dax? What's wrong with you? She's Dax. In this movie, she's playing Joey, a down on her luck news anchor or a segment producer or whatever the hell she is. Like a field reporter, and it's a weird, like, she's just assigned to go stand in this emergency room and wait for something to happen. It's the weirdest field I ever saw. It is, because it's also like, I mean, I don't know. If someone was just like, so here I am at St. Vincent's emergency room, I'm like, I don't care.

Is the fucking, is someone of note there? Otherwise, it's an emergency room. I know things are happening. I patent cinemax the second. I run the TV in New York City, and I say blood and gluts on the television at all time. It's just such a stupid side of me. I think he's still running things.

You ever watch the, like, I watch like the W-Pix News at 10. Oh my God, amateur hour too fuck, dude. They're just saying shit wrong. There's shit. Everything's wrong on the fucking scroll. It's embarrassing. crazy, they'll be like, look, someone got hit by a bus

and you're like, the story's about a plane crash. Yeah, but they always, yeah, they always focus on the gruesome stuff going on. Oh, yeah, man. Pat Kearney, get down. Come out of sight, I know. Oh, come on, dude, Kiernan doesn't get up from behind the desk.

He's a Canadian centibite. All that means is they put a blazer on him. I can be kind to you. Is that the count? I know, he throws CDs. I can be kind. I've got such wonderful news to read you. Here.

today in the newspaper. And she's, yeah, she's just, it's this weird story where she's like, yes, in the 15th day in a row, no one has died in New York City. Yeah, okay. It's a, it's the longest running streak. And that's it. And then she's like, wow, what a stupid,

what a stupid, like, a news segment this is going to be. Like, I want, you know, it's your standard. Totally fake, too. She's like, I, what I want is, you know, the big stories. She wants the big stories, et cetera, et cetera. I thought she was on the air for this part. And so when she goes off, script and it's like in these stupid fucking segment producers and I was like whoa she's gonna get fired

but it's just like this dude doc the cameraman who this is so embarrassing he gets a phone call and it's like doc there's a big story breaking we need you down wherever and he's like oh cool by the way I have Joey with me what's that oh you don't want her uh well this is awkward I'm pretty sure doc is pretty terribly dubbed in this movie anybody else get that from old doc oh really yeah it's like watching and he's just got this like Neo Tokyo voice where it's like, yes, I know, I'll be there in two minutes. I did not get that from talk at all. I got a few bad

dubs here. Yeah, a lot of bad dubs. I thought JP quite a few. Really? Yeah. I didn't... It's a bad ADR. I don't look at people's mouths when they talk. It's a thing about me. Gets you too aroused. Yes, exactly. So this dude pieces out

to go on this other assignment and he's like sorry, Joey, I tried, which he does make a legitimate effort to help this woman. Poor doc, man. He's a nice guy. I know. The great sights that behold him later in this movie, though. Oh, Jesus. So she's just sitting there like, my life is terrible. When in comes some dude with the famous chains hanging from his flesh, brother, we got ourselves a hellraiser.

And I was like, oh, cool, we're starting early with the hellraising, which I appreciated. Sure. But then the hellraising takes a long break after this. It's like one good hellraising and we're done. And who's this guy? It's just some random fucking nobody. but I'll say this about this scene. Any movie, head explosion within first 15 minutes,

I'm sending you on your way. You did very well. I was pretty impressed by this. This dude gets lit up mightily. It's pretty awesome. Yeah, basically he comes in. He's got chains all over his face. And, like, Joey's like, wow, what's going on in there?

And the chains start to get electrified or something. And then he just... Because the electric gremlin from hell jumps into them. I don't understand any of this shit. The fucking chains all overplace, my God. Ebenezer Scrooge was visited by Cenobites. Please, please, dear Cenobite, show me no more. Dear Cenovite, please tell me, what becomes of old tiny Tim Cenobite?

Oh, well, it's a leather outfit with no nipple sticks. It's real weird, man. You don't want to go down there, dude. Yeah, let's just say this is your tombstone and move on. Yeah, you don't want to see that, Scrooge. Pinhead is just like, sing. in the middle of town with a bunch of Muppets trying to get Michael Cain.

It's only one more day till Christmas. Fuck, I didn't think there was a way to make Muppet Christmas a whole better movie, but that just didn't. So who would so who would pinhead draft of the Muppet class? You would definitely go for Sweedham's first.

You want a big, going to bruiser. Easy recruit. Easy recruit in Sweden's. He's halfway there anyway. You got to get most of you know, Dr. Teeth in the band. Because all those fucking animals, animal himself included in that. Oh, man. Give Dr. Teeth his fucking leather thing and shoot teeth at you.

Oh, shit. Yeah, dude. And then from there, you know, I think Fazi would easily cave to the dark side. Oh, yeah. Waka, Waka. Fossi's also like a character you love and it's like a cutesy guy. You're like, oh, no, what happened to Fuzzy? Yeah, what happened to Fuzzy's nipples, dude?

Look at that. Kermit's been taking your place for far too long, Fossi. well that's the thing is the nipples are always the first to go yes and no matter what kind of sin about you wind up being your nipples are trashed is that like some man look at those trashy nipples yeah I don't know what the fascination is with cutting off the nips man I guess it's like a pleasurable experience for some people the idea of the pleasure pain paradigm there that pinhead is very into

well listen but if you're pulling your nipples off how are you going to keep pinching them Well, that's the thing. It's one great ride is where it is. By the way, like, this whole franchise is all just like, oh, and then we'll rip your skin off and then we'll, like, start, you know, like, killing you. And it's just like, okay. Like, sure, you know, you give me a violent enough death, whatever, but like, that's it, right? Like, you know, like, if you take me to hell and you start torturing me, what, maybe like four days and then I'm immune to it, you know? Like, I'm not going to care after a point.

I'm never going to exist again I'm just I just feel like you do something long enough you don't care about it That's right You would just be Regular old nipless Ciska

Yeah What I don't understand About Pinhead is He's doing plenty of damage Without opening this fucking box To let all other fucking things Come out Why not toss it in the fucking ocean

And then kill everybody Like you could do that pretty easily I think Not a bad plan Chris Cabin, your nipples shall be spared. Oh man, the end shot of like the puzzle box on like a green piece ship. There you go. That's a movie I want.

Like an ocean troller like gets it in a net or something. You thought I was sunk. Right before Bruce Willis fucking chips a ball at your head. Then pinhead's like shooting a chain at you. It turns out to be an anchor. Oh shit. Yeah, it's a head. Anchors away.

Hellraiser 5. anchors away. Oh, absolutely, dude, it's a musical on the high seas. This is what all I need is, Hellraiser set in New York. That's great. Hellraiser set in a boat. I'm into it.

Just do the diehard formula. Die hard on a boat, you know? No, that's true. Bloodline is kind of Hellraiser tree of life. Okay. Going through the history. You're totally right ending in it. Is there a set-in-by dinosaur that steps on another one's head?

No, but we go to space. You constantly wrestle inside me. we go into space at least in that movie that's fun somehow the puzzle box gets into space much like jason somehow should we meet the other girl in this movie is terry is their character correct is the character's name which is the actual terry feral is the other actress yes quite confusing but terry is this uh she's like this she's a frequenter of the boiler room she's the the lady friend of the guy who gets fucked up at the beginning of the movie yes you know she meets her here and she's like where are you going oh the boiler room So she goes to the boiler room, and this is when we see the whole thing where it's a gutter club and, like, there's cool, like, S&M dolls and stuff and what have you.

There's a lot of, like, mixed themes, though, because, like, for part of the bar, yeah, it's like a bondagey situation, but then it's like a go-go club, but then also part of it, I was like, was that a vampire? Yeah, there are bars that you can get blown at, and then there's also bars that play live, that play live, that play live. music. And I feel like never the twain should meet. Sometimes you get blown at the bar, but sometimes the bar blows you. Yeah. I mean, not just blown, but yeah. All sorts of things. Sex happens. A sex club wouldn't we like. Oh, really? Yes. Okay. And what's the address of this? But that's the thing. If you're going to have a sex club, have a sex club. Exactly. Don't just have it be like a scuzzy place where fucking dicks are out. You know what I mean? I need a couple different names. The boiler room is your sex club.

This venue needs its own Like JPs or That's a good move Like three different things right next You got the sex club here It's called the boiler room This one's called like the steam pot Right

And there's like JP Steakhouse Yeah exactly That just JP steakhouse Because that is a nice ass looking restaurant I've got such wonderful specials To tell you about Oh wait I didn't bring the card Hold on let me tell you

Oh wait no it's a it's a Ville Picata Very very yes It looks like like when they hang out with the hip people in American Psycho? Yes. Yes, definitely. Actually, the dandelion greens are brazed with the pot roast. May I ask you this? The most important of questions. Is there

room for dessert? Any dietary restrictions at the table? Oh, a vegetarian. How quaint. But yeah, so she's kind of asking around. She meets J.P. at this point jp. has got like all these ladies on him he's got like all these roses he's giving out like the bachelor kind of a thing this is fucking stupid man he just like and he's got a bartender on staff

who he can be like hey blinky rose me yeah and this dude like knows what's up and he like just points to like some babe yeah and this scumbag just goes over and like gives her this this rose so that like she knows jp has selected her for the evening's entertainment Yeah, it is disturbing. It is weird. I'm already disturbed enough. I don't need to see a pinhead. I've been waiting for this guy to die since he was in the fucking art gallery.

It takes a while. It takes a very long time. He kind of reminded me of a scummy Bobby from Twin Peaks. Oh, yeah. Before he got his shit together and became a cop. Before he cleaned it up. Yes, before he cleaned up his life. Yeah, no shitty Bobby.

Season one and two, shitty Bobby. Well, yeah, this guy's buff Bobby. Oh, buff Bobby. Look out, dude. So, I guess at some point, Terry and Joey kind of get together at her apartment. Oh, Joey has a nightmare. She has these Vietnam flashbacks. This is Terry. Joey.

Oh, Joey's the... Damn it. The actress's name is Terry. God damn it. Joey. Joey, the anchor woman, the reporter, is having a nightmare where she goes to Vietnam, dressed as like Alice. Wonderland kind of it's a bizarre outfit with a large bow in the back

it's not very not very practical for Vietnam last I check speaking of a tree of life yeah she looks like Jessica Chastain in that movie and you know she's like she watches her dad get killed and she's like screaming for her dad and then she gets a phone call and it's like this woman's

like hey I thought you're looking for me she's like okay come meet at my apartment no no no let's meet at a coffee house let's go meet at a bar I'll buy you a drink you know what I mean yeah no I do not need this person to know where I live. Oh, yeah, you got a pull out couch in there? Yeah, you've got so hot water.

Because this woman is, she's homeless and she's looking for a hot to cot, my friend. I love that expression. And so, here's my biggest problem with this movie. I'll accept puzzle boxes. I'll expect demonic, accept demonic presences.

For Christmas? Of all kinds. For all gifts in all occasions. Absolutely. But you go to the Doug Bradley, special. Oh, my garage sale is so exquisite. Literally get this shit out of my house. It's all waxy and smells terrible. That one is a nipple ring. That one is a nipple

ring. That one is a nipple ring. No, no, no, the nipple is plastic. It is not real. I did not collect actual flesh. This is a razor glove that somebody bought because they thought I was Freddie Cogor. I didn't have the, I didn't have the courage to correct them. This, the most offensive of gifts. But no, I, what I find most unbelievable is the apartment that this fucking beat reporter has.

Are you kidding me? Well, because she's a struggling reporter, right? She's like April O'Neill's apartment. It's the same unbelievable shit. She should be living in sewage, just like April. That's right. April's apartment had some grunge to it. That bathroom looked disgusting.

Well, you got four fucking turtles living with you, dude, and a rat. I don't know. April had that spiral staircase. That's a really nice touch. The first one, it's a little grungy. The second one, it's gorge. Yeah, sorry. I'm talking about Secret of the U's.

awesome apartment. Not part one living above a fucking discarsting antique store. I'm glad that shit burned to the ground. But, yes, to your point, this place is insane? It's crazy. It's literally, the walls are carpeted somehow. It's so disgusting. I would love to

live in an apartment like that to have that a mat painting of Metropolis outside of my window. There's a robot woman. It's in the fucking foreground the entire time. It's like Don Draper's last apartment. It does remind me a lot. I mean, this thing is sick. And It's like, you're the person who's assigned to, like, the emergency room beat?

Come on. Ooh, ooh, ooh, crossover. So Don Draper has a new account, right? Uh-oh, it's the centa bites. He's trying to market the puzzle box. Why is it we buy puzzle boxes? Do we ever stop and think? You're driving one night.

You pull over to the side of the road. You're tired. Families yelling in the backseat. Go into the store, pick up a pack of smokes. What's that? A puzzle box. Something that solves all the problems of your life. Or will it?

now I'm going to cry about my father. I'm sold, Don, but it needs a fun name. Like, I don't know, something snappy. Rubix. We all like pleasure. Some of us, like, terrible. Some of us like good pleasure. What I'm saying is maybe there's no difference.

It's true. Zuby, Zuby, Zoooo-Zoo-Bee-Zoole. Oh, yeah, dude, absolutely. but um yeah so it's a stupid thing she got this apartment they start talking and she's like yeah you know um this is uh you know my buddy got killed because he was playing with this thing and she pulls out the puzzle box right that she stole but the puzzle box at this point i think is it still brass or is it back to puzzle box formation it's it's grody still at this point because a few minutes later in the film someone remarks like uh i think it's it's joey's like oh terry cleaned up the box or something like that

But yeah, it still looks like the, you know, the outside of the Statue of Liberty. It's all green and, you know, weathered and whatnot. Did you know it was gold and it was given to us from France? Copper, I think. Copper, you're right. But yeah, so anyways, she's like, okay, cool. Mind if I stay for a while? And therein is the rub, dude.

I'll tell you whatever you want to hear about this puzzle box as long as I can sleep over. But she does say she has a guest room. So not only that apartment, but a guest room. Damn it. A guest room. I'm seeing an awfully lot of hungry men's there in the freezer. You know, you got a hungry woman here. Do you think I could stay?

Because then it's not just, can I stay? Then her boyfriend's coming over. You know what I mean? Like, and it's like, yo, babe. Yeah. No, and then his friend Garth is in town. Look out for Garth, dude. There's parties going on.

I thought your boyfriend exploded. Well, this was the one that didn't explode. and Garth has got a crush on Joey now oh boy you know Garth is single you know Garth watches you sleep isn't that cute

he loves you and don't worry about that the wig comes off and yeah definitely I'll tell you more about the puzzle box tomorrow but tonight could you pick up a pack of six

Natty's Natty Isses from me and the boys so watching Hellraiser too it's gonna be awesome I heard good things about this sequel Could you get it from the fridge? I know it's more expensive than just getting the pack.

I mean, I need a cold one. There's a great scene while Joey is sort of interviewing Terry where we go back to the boiler room and J.P.'s apartment where he's got this sculpture hanging out. And he notices that the cube has been ripped out. And like you would, this dude sticks his hand in there and this fucking hilarious rat puppet bites him. oh it's glorious

this rat is going for gold it's holding on and it's like spraying blood all over his apartment onto the puzzle box which kind of harkens back with the statue yeah I'm sorry the statue

and it's sizzles yes and the statue eats his blood and he's like huh that's weird why is blood special in these movies blood is not special

you could see blood is everywhere because fucking hellraiser pinhead is essentially a vampire who just licks you to death like suckles at your neck

he doesn't like even bite in, it seems like, in that first one. No, there's no, I mean, there's no vampirism, but the blood is like a... But doesn't he suck them dry, essentially, in that first one? They're just like ripping people apart. The brother Frank, who's then becoming reanimated in that movie, needs blood to reconstitute his body. Yeah, Pinnhead's kind of an also-ran in that movie. He's like, what's really Frank's show, I'm just kind of here to give support.

That's what was great about it because he was used sparingly. Because this is just, you know, you can't do too much. It's way too much pinhead. It's way too much. And that's like, you know, the problem with all of these franchises is like the main, like killer or villain or monster or whatever becomes, comes more and more to the forefront. They're in it more and more and more. Like that's, you watch that first nightmare on Elm Street. Freddy's barely in that movie. And by the time, you know, Freddy's dead the final nightmare runs around. He's fucking he-hawn through the whole thing. Yeah. Suddenly every episode's about Kramer.

Yeah. Which I have no problem. I don't. I don't. It's, but, but I'm just. saying like they take the character that everyone latched on to now you have to fucking have only that

and just get that I kind of want to hellraiser 3 with a laugh track and like an applause whatever pinhead shows up woo meet please someone

cut part of that movie and put it to YouTube Kenny Kenny Kenny Rogers Roasters chicken I'm sorry I cut you off

oh no I was just going to say so after I watched this I was going through the rest of the movies. I've seen all of these. I did it a couple years ago just to finally bite the bullet. That is a bullet you bit. Yeah, no, I ate shit hard for this. But I was going back through, I think our mutual favorite one, the hell world, the fucking video game one with

Superman or maybe not Superman anymore. But like what was happening was Amazon's getting really lazy with their trailers. A lot of misrepresentation here. It's just like 60 seconds from the movie for a lot of these things. Oh, interesting. Including Hellraiser, Hellworld. So it's Tom, not Tom Welling. What's his name? Henry Cavill.

Henry Cavill, like, coming into his girlfriend's apartment. And it's, like, they're so in on Pinhead by this point that he's like, this hellworld's coming out. We're going to go to the Hell World Convention Party or whatever. And she's like, oh, if I have to hear one more thing about these centibites and your best friend Pinhead and the fucking puzzle box. And I'm like, so now it's like mainstream. You fucking sold out pinhead man

Is the North American rights Also this is the first movie where pinhead is called pinhead on screen It's true So that's something Hey that's something for the kids So the blood goes on and now the statue is kind of alive Even though it was definitely doing evil shit before it became alive So question mark what

Yeah how old is this rat Is this splinter? Is this how splinter becomes splinter? To be fair, the rack could only be like four or five years old because Pinnett was around in the late 80s, man. That's right. He's fucking mixed it up. Did we talk about it already? How did he become a statue?

Did he do cement mixer fall on his head? Because that's not how the second movie ends. Oh, big boy, not the bath. Not the baths, big boy. Right? He doesn't get a bath at the end of that second movie. He's like defeated. Well, he, the lady shows him, the star,

Christy, or Kirstie is her name. Ashley Lawrence is the actress. That's what I love is like when, what I love about horror sequels, is like the most no-name actors because they like work out their contracts get special appearance a special appearance by Ashley Lawrence

and I forgot like I forgot how much this third movie ties into the first two so I was like what the fuck and I had to look it up and I was like oh yeah that's why she shows him a picture of of old pinhead and he like kind of he he's like thank you and then this evil doctor Senate by kills him

just kills them both right you're free pinhead you're free but that's why I was also saying Steve at the beginning of the episode that I felt that this was sort of like a mashup of scripts because it's like here's this evil statue. How did Pinhead get there? Well we just kind of put them there because we wanted it to be a Hellraiser movie. Instead it was like some script about a haunted sculpture or something. Also you could have introduced or

made promoted one of the other centibites. You know if Pinhead's natural course had run in part two it's not that hard to make one of these things look well I guess in this movie it's hard to make them look good but I could use some butterball man Butterball the centibite in the first movie RIP he dies too He dies in the second movie

Yeah they show a picture of like I don't know like he just turns into like a fat dude They show a picture of it What's what you do with the strange attitude Would you stand up and go to hell with me A single tear comes out of his sunglasses Oh that's right he does have sunglasses He's so stupid

Every time I see every time I'm watching a Hellraiser movie I just go wear it Where's Butterball? And the fact that he's named Butterball, which I read online, I was just Googling fat centibite. These cenobites are named exactly the way these motherfuckers name predators, dude. Because we're not calling anybody anything. No, I think Butterball is a classic name. Pinhead's a classic name.

Chatterer, classic name. Oh, chatterer, of course. But later in this film, you have Camera Head, Dreamer, Piston Head, Barbie. I mean, these are just things that they were called in the script so you could fucking tell them apart. You'd have to be pissed in the head to like this.

The fuck one is Barbie. Is that supposed to be what Terry turns in? That is the bartender. Yes. The bar, the bartender. He's got barbed wire around his head. And he's barbecuing people because he can spit fire.

Oh, right. So the statue drinks up some blood and he's like, that's weird. And, you know, Terry is looking into some other stuff. She finds some B-Rourable. from the first movie or the second movie. Oh, you will find B-roll lying around, dude. And it's basically...

Oh, they left some of the movie here. It's the special appearance by Ashley Lawrence where she kind of tells everybody what Pinnhead is and how to put him in the puzzle box. Yeah, is this video... So she was like what, arrested and sent to an insane asylum? Yeah. She's like being videotaped, like yelling at someone.

Yeah, yeah. Anyone who will listen. Well, Kurt Russell's there. He's listening to the whole story in a whole different way. What do you reference? Sick Vanilla Sky reference, dude. Jesus, I have no memory at all. It looks exactly like that room that there in.

But no, I'm saying I have no memory at all of Kurt Russell being in Vanilla Sky. Oh, yeah, he's the psychologist. Oh, fuck. I wouldn't put it past the Scientologist speaking to Tom Cruise to turn people in the Cenobites at the end. Oh, could be.

That's what they're waiting for. That's the big transformation. And as bad as these names are, they're going to be worse. Chad, the Cenabite. Oh, fuck. Look out for Chad, dude. David Miscaybiv. the cenobite. Oh, that guy's definitely

a centabyte. Esther, the Cenobite. They, uh, so whatever. So she's kind of like, that's weird. Um, and like, but at this time, uh, both, um, Terry and Joey are becoming fast friends. There's like a breakfast scene. It's kind of fun. Here's this, here's this breakfast thing

that I was like, get out of my house. This lady is like a few fries short of a happy meal here, man. Because she, uh, uh, uh, Joey wakes up to like her kitchen in flames, basically. and Joey's like, or Terry's like holding a cookbook and she's got something on the

stove, it's flaming and she's like oh, I tried to make breakfast, this is my first time and I'm like, okay. And Joey's like, don't worry, I'll take it from here and she takes the pan. And you guys notice this? All that was in the pan were two pieces of toast? Yeah. What is any

of that? It's like Larry the cable guy making breakfast. I think they cast an older woman to play a 12 year old. Dude, yeah, it's like made you breakfast in bed. You just, you just, you didn't see it. She's reading from Julia Child, pan toasting. Oh, right, yeah. Put the bread in the pan.

That's from her early work where she sucked. Take the art of American pan toasting. That's fucking Charlie Brown shit, man. Just toasted popcorn on Thanksgiving. You sad, fuck. God, I can't even look at that meal. It's so sad. It's so sad.

But yeah, so she's like, and at this point, I'd be like, yo. You got to leave in five minutes so I'm going to call the cops. I'm not trying to be a dick or nothing. Yeah, but five minutes that I'm calling the cops. And Terry keeps pulling the like, oh, geez, I guess I'll just go live in the street again.

And Joey falls for it. I'd be like, yeah, that's right. Pretty much total stranger. Get the fuck out of here. Do you have a family? What the fuck is going on here? Great question, dude. We cut back to the boiler.

So they're becoming kind of fast friends. They go on the journey together. They go to the art gallery. This is the, it burned down 20 years ago. I can't believe this, though, this scene where they break into the art gallery because they break in. Some guy is walking his dog outside

and he's like, the owner's been traveling for months, you know, it's closed and she's like bullshit. My friend bought something here a couple days ago and he's like, oh, maybe from a haunted hobo, I don't know. I did see a haunted hobo sniffing around there. So they break in and then like

you break in, man. You like get in and get out. They sit down and they're like reading documents. Like, take everything and go back to your amazing apartment. The statue apparently came from like an old asylum that closed down. Oh, that's right. Which is like, still doesn't answer my question of how did he get into the statue. No.

What happened to Butterball? It's a question. Thank you. Oh, why isn't Butterball in the statue too? Oh, maybe Butterball got promoted. Maybe he's like he's pit head's boss now. Oh, God. Or it's not cement.

It's just liquid butterball. All of his fat just instantly, like, turned to liquid when it got boiled too much. You'll all be living inside my butterball. He's like candle wax. That would be great if that was the panel next to the statue. Butterball, 1989. By Centabyte. I don't get it.

Mixed media. Yeah, which, by the way, we were coming up on the sex scene. Oh, right. Yeah, this is where we go. This all... Haunts you to me. This is outrageous. I avoided this movie ever since this experience happened to me.

And I'm glad I watched it because I was like, this is not... It was way worse in my head. When I was playing for the past 20 years in my head was way different. I was going to say. It's JP. He's just kind of going around his club. He's like, you know, looking for ladies.

He finds this one lady. He kind of talks her up. Like, you know... Gives the rose, dude. Gives the rose starts to talk her up. We cut to a very explicit sex scene, which is uncomfortable. You read the IMDB trivia,

this actress was uncomfortable with nudity, and the compromise was what if the dude has his hands on your breasts the entire time? Oh, God. Is that right? And holding on for dear life.

Dude, it's like he's on the fucking cart and a roller coaster with these things. It's on the rail in a perfect storm. Oh, God. Yeah, they were both on a rail. Oh, yeah. Where is the cocaine use

in this movie, by the way? Because, come on. They're fucking in front of This statue, and the statue is into it. I'm getting hornyer by the second. With each delicious thrust, I come closer and closer. And so did I towards the television set when this was on when I was 11 years old. So what's that story?

So my uncle was watching this movie, and I was like, you know, walking by. Watch a part three specifically. Yes, specifically this movie. Uncle Terry to me, man. an uncle Terry an uncle commentary oh yeah yeah yeah yeah this one's alive maybe they could rope him into that

he would say no so I'm walking by and I see this vigorous sexy sure this guy's pumping away wait a second what is this oh is that a naked lady hmm I'm gonna like peek around

and stay watch what this is a oh yeah so it was so it's less of what are you watching and more of a what are you exactly exactly and I'm watching this and then also like another layer to it is my mother was an artist and I had been around a lot especially in that time mixed media was huge yeah seen statues seen paintings with faces coming out of them can I ask you uh did your mothers did uh it her statues turn like a sunglass thing constantly the sunglasses god damn statue I've ever seen

No, she was not a sculptor. But I've seen sculptors, sculptures, and I don't remember any turning like this. Yeah. So it was very supernatural to see how this thing turned. No Oakley's on it. Okay. But then the chains come out. It rips off her skin and it's this naked, bloody, well, naked, no, naked without

skin. The most naked you could get. Exactly. In my mind, it's been recycled over and over again as like, it's, focusing on this for a while and she's like floating in the air but she's not even what happens no she's like standing

yeah he has sex with her and then she's walking around his apartment like wow you got a lot of dark art here he's like and he's being a shit he's got to leave now babe give me my shirt back and get the fuck out and the chains do come at this point

and rip her flesh off she's screaming and then she gets sort of sucked into this statue right or does he move her no he gets sucked into she gets sucked in it's very much like the end of Nightmare and Elm Street where the mom gets pulled

through the window or whatever it's that kind of like cheesy oh actually no I'm misremembering it it's even worse it's like you see there's some bad 90s CGI for part of it

and I think eventually when she like folds over then it looks more like the nightmare effect but there's some there's some bad computer graphics in this movie

so the statute noms are all up right and they start having this conversation We're like, the guy's like, whoa, what the fuck? You're a statue? And he's like, yes, I'm a dark, evil statue. And he's like, you're evil.

He's like, yeah. So, well, so are you. You just had sex with that woman. I think it's fucking hilarious, though, because, like, there's all this other stuff that's still part of the statue. But all that's moving is Doug Bradley's face. And, like, the color doesn't even match up. Like, the two green tones are totally off. It's embarrassing.

It's Planet Hollywood nonsense. Yes, you would see this in a planet. Hollywood if anyone gave a shit. I've had an itch on my face for five years. Get me the fuck out of here. And so they strike up a bargain, right? Which I don't, again, I don't understand.

It's like, he's like, oh good. Now you will bring me new flesh, and I shall have a body, and I'll give you all the pleasures you can imagine, which is like, A, I'm incredibly rich. I'm a really good looking dude. Did you see the sex I just had? Yeah.

Like, it should have been a nivish. Worst case scenario I'm paying for it, which just totally fine. I can afford it. Did you see that fancy restaurant I have? Not bad, Pinhead. Not bad at all. It only works in like Little Shop of Horrors. You need like a Rick Rick Moranus type. Some bookish dude. I shall show you such delicious sights, Seymour. Feed me. Exactly. It is Little Shopperors. It is kind of sort of good. Now he's recruited to feed this fucking thing. Which again, like, I don't know, man. I got a club and a restaurant to run. Yes, he's a busy man.

But if he's going to sign this deal with Pinhead, I need a montage of like this dude bringing ladies back. And they're just like going in and not coming out over and over and over again kind of a thing. That'd be fun. Because it's just like he eats the one lady. And then like later in the movie, spoiler alert, he winds up beating JP instead of Terry. Yeah. And that's it.

And then he's out. And so you just needed one more. What the fuck? Why not just do it then? He gets close enough to you. Just fucking let your goddamn things out. Yeah, quit dicking around, Pinhead. I guess Pinhead didn't have the math.

Oh, wow, that worked. Cool. What a deliciously convenient miscalculation. This is embarrassing, but yeah, take some time, get someone else because these chains, I can't get them up again right after I just win. I need a, I need a smoke, maybe a water. Put on a little Leno and go to sleep. When you see the statue's eyes open for the first time,

it's when the fucking is occurring. And it's just like, my, do I smell some fucking in this room? Good morning, pinhead indeed. I mean, if I was JP, fine. You're going to make me the god of all the terrible pleasures. That's fucking great and everything. Get a lawyer in there.

Make sure this statue's on the up and up. You're going to get like good God powers and not just get your fucking skin ripped off. Yeah, dude, because Pinhead will respect the rule of law. Well, that's a thing. Well, that's a thing. You don't want to go to court. Well, that's the thing.

It's never, Pinhead's not like the devil where it's like, I'll give you your heart's desire. You will become the new tonight's show host. Or what? Oh, wow. But thank you, Pennhead. It's amazing. Wow, cool.

Oh, wow. They were going to go with Letterman, and then I made it to you with a centivite. Hey, hey, hey, hey. All I have to do is feed you Conan. Oh, but it is cursed, because you will go on at 10 p.m. first. You'll be damned to your garage. Not even Kevin Eubanks will respect you after this.

Look, he's leaving. He's not coming back. He's not going to be on the show. Oh, if you don't do it, I say, Jay Leno, I'll replace you with that fall-down drunk James Fallon. And then you'll be rightfully cast asunder into Jay's garage. You'll be relegated to C. NBC. That's it. I'm releasing James Gordon. Oh, no. No, but that's not what he does.

He's like, it'll be really cool sex stuff, and that's kind of it. I can tell that's your bag, so the lie I tell you will be something about hot yet weird sex stuff. That's it. It's like, oh, the flesh. It's like, no, I don't know. Give me money. Give me power, whatever. Demand an actual something up front, JP.

Yeah, this is why you hire Alan Dershowitz to come in there with you and talk to the centivite. No, he is a centibite. Yeah. Oh, I promise you, JP, after we are done with all of this litigation, you will have a summer invitation to Martha's Vineyard. Mark my words. You know, all the, all the cinemites, they don't talk to me anymore. since I've defended him. They all turn their back.

They don't even let me in their reading groups. The Dersh was bummed out. Getting fucking snubbed by these centipides on the vineyard dude. Couldn't even believe it. The Dersh. You know, I run into Butterball at a restaurant. He's eating like a thousand clams. And I'm like, great.

You know, I'm trying to sit down and, you know, it just doesn't talk to me. A thousand clams. You know, I saw a CD the other day. And he didn't even, he usually plays a little Billy Holiday for me. Wouldn't even do that. So, yeah, he calls up, he's now underpin Head's Control. He calls up Terry at Joey's house. Joey's out at work and doing research or whatever.

And she's like, oh, you know, and she's, Terry is like, you know, it's like an abusive ex-boyfriend to E kind of a thing which is like, I'm not coming back to you, son of a bitch. I don't want to see you ever again. But she's like, you know, under his thrall or whatever. And he's like, come on, babe, have changed, whatever. And she hangs up the phone. She's like, no, I'm going to stay at Joey's apartment. And then this guy, another guy calls up, and she sends it right to the answering machine. And the guy's like, hey, Joey, it's me, Tommy.

You got that job in Monterey. Guess you can sell your condo now. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Talk to you later. And it's like, wait, what? I thought this was a slick move by J.P. Oh, I see. Or maybe a pinhead prank phone call.

Hello, silly ass. Like, yeah, I thought it was like some trick of the demon world. How does a chest sizzle? I was confused, too, because she's like, after this, she writes a note to Joey. She's like, have fun in Monterey, you liar. And I'm like, was there a conversation, a deleted scene specifically?

She's like, well, I'm definitely not taking any jobs in Monterey right now. If you get any phone calls for me mentioning a job in Monterey, it's a prank phone call. Monterey? Yes, you will go and trace the footsteps of John Steinbeck. you'd be damned to Canary Row. And also, that's a demotion. You want to stay in New York,

unless it's like, I don't know, maybe it's an anchor position of Monterey, and then you're going to work your way back. I don't know. That's why I thought it was all a phony phone call, but also, like, again, because it's her presumption that she's going to live there forever and they're going to be fucking best buds.

Well, she is telling this guy, JP, she's like, oh, Joey's going to get me a job at the news station. Like, things are really looking up for me now. Joey's going to get me a job. at the news station. You know what, Joey, that's the last thing you want to do is get a complete stranger a job at your place of employment. Well, I think that's a way

a means to an end. Is it? Because then it's like, okay, I'm working with them. I'm living with them. Yeah, that's tough. Well, then she can introduce her to Doc the cameraman who's awfully lonely these days. He's got an extra room in his house. He's got several.

So, she winds up going back and kind of like almost hoagling up with Joey, and then there's this great scene where Pinhead, like, the hooks can't come out quite enough, and he's like, a little closer, a little closer to the statue, miss. I can't

reach her, JP, closer. Oh, God, damn it, it's stuck in the door. It won't go down across the chest. Oh, this is like an obnoxious seatbelt, isn't it? My God. Joey, we've got a tangle, Joey, J.P. A tangle? I

do kind of appreciate that this movie has two female leads, kind of of leading the movie. Yeah, for sure. So that's one okay thing about the scene. Yeah, no, that is the one that, no, it cycles winning the Belchdel test, but it keeps failing it because it keeps bringing up other dudes.

It's all JP or pinhead. Exactly. We have many scenes of two women talking about it's like, yeah, but then that pin is like, oh, fuck, you're this close. But is pinhead now, isn't he genderless now that he's a centipide? He's a dude. Yeah. I promise you, Chris Cabin, I am a dude.

and a party dude Look, I can open beer bottles On these pins Butterball is crude but rude Chatterer The party dude And the female centivite does machines She just does machines

She literally does much All she fucks are sex machines She does them Hide your refrigerators Oh Refrigerator fetishist Chris Cabin So Fridge Perry, sign me up.

No, but so then the statue eats JP and Pinhead is reborn. Here is the most unfortunate part of this scene. Yeah, so there's a little bit of a scuffle between JP and Terry. Yeah. And like Steve said, he gets eaten. As does JP's hilariously oversized leather jacket he's wearing in this movie. Nice. Dude, there is some ridiculous 90s clothing going on here.

Oh, did you think that's where he got, like, he repurposed leather. jacket for his outfit kind of a thing maybe or no, no. They just get those leather outfits. I don't know where they're getting these leather outfits. Custom shop. Yeah, but like is in hell? Hell's custom shop. Yeah, Satan's Taylor has been working fucking overtime.

Yeah, you got tailors in hell, dude. I guess Hell invented black leather. Like, everyone up there in the Bronze Age had like brown leather. Oh, and hell we're making black leather. So much of the antibiotics just look like they're wearing cheap Halloween costumes. They look like they're like

fucking, you know, they look like Wes Borland. This is actually plether, we're not monsters. I think I've actually seen, like, at least one Limbiscuit video where he's wearing, West Borland is

wearing a pinhead jacket. Just that long coat. That sounds more of a slip-knot thing. It feels like they got their whole thing. Les Borland was always all about I'm going to stand out in this really bad band. Yeah. Like, I'm going to do something, dude.

You got to do something. You do have to do anything. Where your band is made up of 90% leg tattoos and B.O. Yeah, you got to stand out. So at this point, Joey goes to sleep. She wakes up in a dream. She's back in Vietnam, but then we transform into World War I. That's what I love.

It's like, first we're in Vietnam for like a hot second in this scene. And then you're like, wait a minute. Well, look at all these holes that they're all. in. Oh, World War. What? What? And we meet, uh, welcome to war world. It's all every war is going on at the same time. Captain, uh, Elliot Spencer, who is actually pinhead, um, sort of kind of. Doug Bradley looks like, uh, uh, oh, geez, no, uh, Hugo weaving. Yeah, a little bit. Big time. Yeah, mixed with Mr. Pitt. Oh, wow. Yes. Holy shit. That's very. accurate he actually did i thought he would play like a random admiral in a star wars movie oh he totally

he has that look to him he could have nice hey first orders hiring we didn't talk about i'm sorry to backtrack for two seconds but we didn't talk about how disgusting it is when pinhead comes out of that statue it takes a while first of all it does but like there's definitely just like Ghostbusters looking ejaculate all over the place There's like slime and ooze. It's also just like a little lazy Like I would imagine like

Exploding like a flesh statue just like they're throwing Pieces of flesh on the ground like ooh It's very And then there's just this slop everywhere Yeah it's gross I kind of feel like and he What's the deal he strikes at Terry is like

Oh don't worry about it You'll be good man don't it's cool you're fine do you have somebody to come and clean this up somebody in the boiler room yeah you're good because I again

I can't get these chains up after I go you know there's a do you want to put on a cool movie for a while maybe you know maybe before bed

another romp just give me a few minutes watching PCU on VHS we'll see where this goes have you seen good fellas yet It's just astonishing. Nuo on VHS. During this flashback to World War I,

so she starts getting into it with Doug Bradley as Corporal Elliott, whatever the fuck. And she definitely has the line, I just walked into madness for you. And you're like, oh, ew. There's also a dumb line of like, what the hell is going on here? And then somebody else is like,

hell is very going on here. It's like, what the fuck are you talking about? His evil is too powerful at some point. I'm like, what the fuck does that mean? So I guess this is like, this guy's in purgatory or something. And Pinhead is like hell guy who went to Earth. And now like they hatch a plan with this ghost to like merge him who represents the humanity of the man who was once Pinhead. Yeah.

To combine it with Pinhead. Yeah. To which this guy, Doug Bradley's like human character goes, probably never shaken hands with a ghost before I actually have once so wait is the nom daddy

the ghost that's like bringing this all together oh my nom daddy when you said nom daddy I thought you meant the statue because nom nom nom nom nom nom nom I apologize

okay Vietnam daddy Joey's father no I think he's just a hapless idiot ghost I think he uses her dreams to it sort of like whatever and she's just dreaming about her dad. Yeah.

To lead to the guy that's going to stop him? Yeah. We're just going to Kruger Town now. I guess. Also, I don't understand how you're having dreams about people you've never met. She clearly says that he died before she was born.

Hey, uh, hey, Clive. It's, uh, me, uh, Wes. Yeah. Cothanube, uh, Hellraiser. Great, great, great. So we talked no dreams. Thought we were, uh, pretty clear on the whole, who got the dream part of the street there. Oh, and then what was that? Oh, I caught that third one. Bringing them right into the real world, huh? Making them whole again, huh? Okay. Just checking. Whatever, buddy. You know what? Have a great Christmas.

Would you like a nipple ring? I've got plenty of West Craven. I got it. I got enough. I really do. Should I be calling Clive or Anthony about this? Is the question here, who's getting the phone call? Oh, I totally forgot. I think Eric said it, but yeah, there definitely is that line. Dreams of One War are Dreams of All War. Yeah. I did not. Okay. It's no, it's a real line that I jotted down. It's another Elliot Spencer line. I guess that's where I remembered it from because I actually didn't remember that. This guy also refers to himself. He says, I was an explorer of hidden pleasures.

Dude, you're just a pervert. Just say that you are a World War I pervert. Thailand pedophiles. That's what that says, right there. Because what are we talking about? So, yeah, yeah, sex tourism, cannibalism, maybe. Right? Hunting

people for sport. I think those are the three. Well, that's what I don't understand. It's like the idea at the end of this movie or the middle part of this movie where it's like, I'm the good part of it. No, you're like even worse kind of at least. At least he's a fucking started it, asshole. He was a demon. He can't help it.

You were picked. You were handpicked by the devil to become pinhead. That's how fucking bad you are. You were recruited at a high school, dude. Because you were so good at being a fucking creep. So he finds that box, and that's how it all starts, and he becomes pinhead. But, like, again, this box, I know you might have said it was made out of wood once,

but what the fuck with this box? I don't know. I honestly don't know with the box. So it's already like that beautiful, metal-ish shape in 1918, I guess. Yeah. All right. I mean, dude, yeah, it's just a big old shoulder shrug. I'm sure there's some Wikipedia page that explains it all.

All the Knights Templar built it. That's what you would expect, right? But then that next movie, it's just like, oh, I'm carving it from some wood. Oh, my wife doesn't approve of my project. Oh. I was an explorer of pleasures. I would get chicken nuggets with a regular-sized meal. I was the first guy to put ranch.

on pizza what a decadent decadent life I had disgustingly delicious I had the thought of pumping cheese into the crust and yes

the devilish feet of eating it backwards dip that fry in the frosty now just like weird choir music as it's going slowly and slowly towards is a shake.

Kevin, I think Pinnhead was with us at Neptune Diner when I started dipping French fries into lobster Bisk. Oh, fuck, dude. That is the most decadent thing you could. That's decadent as fuck. I was a young man, an explorer of tastes. Yeah, dude, and the explorer of your bathroom with fucking Diner Bisk, dude. I had to call you out for the not getting cheese fries. Yeah, yeah.

Well, Neptune Diner's Bisk is a cut above. You best believe. I created disco fries. That's right. Gravy on cheese fries. I was a connoisseur of pleasures. I, at one Sunday I didn't get dressed at all, and I watched all of the Harry Potter movies.

They were on sci-fi, and I just kind of couldn't get out of the couch. Behold, the KFC Double Down. Oh, yeah, dude, that was created by Satan himself. Now, I know what you're thinking. You might want to spin not. shows on me, but no, no, that was the man upstairs. Yeah, dude, definitely created by God.

Absolutely. The one Lord. Uh, no, so, oh, dude, nacho Lord? I would pray to that guy. I don't pray, but if I did, I'd pray to a nacho God. I was just thinking of a really fat fucking star lord. Nacho Lord. Dude, seated at the right hand of the taco, dude.

Don't even worry about it. That is a religion I can get behind. So the plan is like, look, all you need to do is bring him here to limbo and I'll, I'll, I'll punch him in the nose. I'll give him a good slobber knocker. So, like, that's the flash. Excuse me. Slobber knocker.

Is that a fallacious? No, it's a... It's an Albany expression. It sounds like it would be... It's a wrestling thing. My God, it's going to be a slobber knocker than that, boy. Oh, my God. Jim Ross just said,

Falatio on the air. Let's just pretend it's a wrestling movie. Well, no, we'll fold in it. It'll be in every broadcast now. Now we've got to do it every time So the audience doesn't think we're talking about Dicks So whatever

This is the big pinhead scene, his coming out party He gets into the boiler room Oh And this is when he kills like 30 people It's awesome It's pretty damn good 30

Yeah That's a low Fuck it You show 30 deaths It once Okay that's fair You know what this movie's pretty short I could have had this sequence

Be 10 minutes Yeah I, because it's, I, the one thing I will say about most of these movies, really good practical effects. Yeah, sure. And it's also, Pinhead is getting pretty creative here. It's not just fucking flaying everybody. Yes. There are all, there's a dude who gets a mouth full of pool balls.

My God. Someone's having, some lady's having a drink, the drink, the ice of the drink, leaves the drink, turns into Pinhead's face. Oh, yeah. And it stabs her in the face. It's pretty fucking cool, man. I gotta say. The weird, the weird baby. fucking monster starts

fucking dancing. Oh, that thing was weird. I didn't know what to make of that. Well, there's like a fun doll that's just a baby doll hanging from a thing because it's a, you know, scuzzy club, and then it starts like dancing and killing people sort of. Oh, that's right. It was part of the decor at the boiler room. Oh, I forgot. Yes. The barb wire

guy also is art decor and then he goes onto the bartender. And then the CDs start cutting people. There's a lot of CD death in this. Lots and lots. more so than what was that Dolf Lundgren film? Oh, I come in peace.

Yeah, a lot of CD death in that movie too, but it couldn't hold a candle to Hell Raise a 3 call in hell on earth. It's not compact disc, it's compact death. Oh. Eric Siska, ladies and gentlemen. I'm clapping for myself. Then Joey is watching

television. There's a news report like, oh my God, the boiler room is like under siege. You know, everything's really bad. And then she's like, oh my God, I got to go there. But, uh-oh. The TV. was unplug the whole time. Oh, man. Doesn't that just fucking steam your clams, dude? She calls

up Doc, and she's like, Doc. Oh, poor fucking Doc. Doc is at home sleeping. Literally asleep. And she goes, he's like, yeah, oh, sleeping it off, probably. And he's like, oh, hello? And she goes, Doc, are you watching TV? Clearly this man just woke up. Come on.

Yeah. And she's like, turn on Channel 12. You know, there was a big massacre down at the boiler room. We got to get down there or something's happening. And he's turns on channel 12 and it's like some it's like La Traviata or something like there's an opera on and I got to admit I felt pretty dumb because I was like I don't get it why is this TV broken

until then you see the unplugged television in her sweet apartment and Pinhead is drawing her out because Pinhead wants to destroy the box right and he knows I guess that she's in possession of it did Terry tell him I guess yeah I guess Terry got to talk she becomes like a synobite herself right Yeah, this is when all the centenbytes start to get revealed. She goes there, she meets pinhead.

She sees all this death and destruction almost throws up a couple of times. Just like me watching this movie. Poor Doc has had his head removed and a fucking camera stuck on it. Oh, that's, that sucks. He looks like a borg now. He does look like a borg. He looks like old John Carpenter. He kind of does.

Well, he's the first. I was just going to say before the centibite transformation. He looks like old John Carpenter. He looks like old John Carlin. When he turns into his centibite, he looks like a borg. Clive, it's about your franchise. But he is the only moustachioed centibite. That's right.

Which I think is, I feel like Pinnhead was okay with it because of the time crunch. But like, really, we like to keep it clean here. Otherwise, yeah, I think it's like the dress code of the New York Yankees, man, automatically changed those sideburns. Like, if Randy Johnson became a centibite, you're shaving that shit, man. I'm slaughtering birds with baseballs left and right. Listen, it's, you know, I love how much you're flaying everyone. You've really figured out the hook system much quicker than I did even.

But it's the mustache. It's a little, it's got to go. I didn't even know you could use the lens to pluck a head like that. That was stunning. That was an interesting choice. Yeah, there's an interesting, he kills someone by shooting them through the head with the camera. And then makes a close-up joke.

It's like an Anton Chigur thing. It's getting up on time. It does look like a cattle, air gun thing or whatever. Pistonhead, who was J.P. Monroe or whatever. Where did the Pistons come from? Yeah, exactly. Because it's like fucking, dude, like the pistons are always thrusting. But if there's ever an opportunity for an Anton Shigur like murder,

piston head you'd think would be the guy, not camera. Yeah, that's true. Camera head would record it and jerk off in the corner. And then you had, you have pervered head, dude. A autofocus head man Oh yeah Oh that's true That that son of bite just goes around

hitting people over the head with lamps Speaking of John Carpenter Then we also have CD head guy Who's a lot of fun I like him He's shooting razor CDs This dude was the DJ At the club

So that's I love that like what you were in life You're like partially damned to continue To make your job down to hell with you you'd be podcast head oh fuck do we just have like microphones coming out of our eyes not bad I guess or maybe it would be like

we'll like we'll we'll we're like banshees that hit a certain frequency that makes everyone poo their pants oh shit dude or you or you'd have the board on your chest and then like just like random wires shoot out and coffee totally yeah dude you know

Darth Vayner kind of had a board on his chest he did all those buttons and knobs what the fuck was that he had an Arnold sound board That's what it was. How are you? How are you? Yeah.

What is he doing? Detective John Kimble. So, but then there's also the barbitt, the bartender guy. Yeah. He's got barbed wire all over his face. He's got a, like, a little martini mixer in his left hand. He does. Dude, it's great. He's got like the shaker.

And I, as far as I can tell, he doesn't make use of it, did I miss something? No, he actually later in the film, the cops are, like, trying to get him. And, like, he sprays them out of his, mouth and this lady cop goes it's gasoline oh yeah stands completely still yep while she gets blown up by the he doesn't spit by way he does use the mixer but like a bartender he's fucking drunk so he throws the thing it opens halfway through a little bit of gasoline oh then he breeds fire that's right yeah i think also when pinhead makes his way into the the massacre here i believe it's him that has the line, I'm here

to turn up the volume. Oh, damn. I just caught that on VHS. It was a good one. I love happy Harry Harda. I thought the song pump up the volume would be in it too, but strangely, it is not. Waiting the whole goddamn time.

But then, like, so they wind up going into this construction site, which, by the way, this spoiler to this movie is set in New York, but filmed in North Carolina, because there's fucking fur trees all over the place. Oh, fur trees, quaint sidewalks and street lambs. Like, she's

running down this street, like, towards the construction site. By the way, did you know that she passes the Elm Street Cafe? Oh, God. Yeah. Yeah, I hear. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, it's Wes again. Hi. Not funny.

Have a great Christmas. But, yeah, like, this, like, river of electric water is chasing her down the street. It's a river of electric water. But yeah, so they get to this construction site And dude, yeah, it is just out in the middle of a fucking forest This thing

And Pinhead is up on top of something And he's like, yes, this is when she meets Pistonhead guy Who's JP And Terry, who's smoking lady Which is, we're bringing that fetish in here Like, oh my God, a smoking woman Well, dude, that was like during the raunchy sex scene earlier in the film JP's just got like the butt just hanging out

And he's like, he's smoking without hands And just like fucking And I was like, this is so disgusting. This woman is getting ash all over her. My God, smoking and sex. Keep the cigarettes out of the bedroom. Well, Terry's got, like, she's doing a little bit of a beetle juice there. She's got the cigarette in her, like, throat.

Yeah. But also, does she have cigarette fingers? I couldn't figure that out. Okay. Really. Yeah. Does she have to, like, buy new ones or those perma cigarettes? Well, I think they're, I don't think they're fingers.

She's just smoking as well as having one into fucking. I thought I was, if I spoke a little bit, but I would smoke a lot more if I was a cenobite. Oh, absolutely, dude. Especially if you have to. If that's your centibite gag, right? I think they're like plastic one hitters. Oh, gotcha. So they just, they never whittled down.

How about a weedobite, right? Oh, yeah, dude. Sign me up. That's what you would be. Yeah, I would be that. I would be the chillest centibite of all time, FYI. No, just, no, I mean, have regular pleasure. Not terrible.

It's fine. Hey, man, like, why do you need to go that extreme? You're going to go to hell if I could ever get off the couch, right? Oh, more Batman. animated series. I'll be right here. That's what kind of sucks. Like, I don't know what exactly are Piston Head and fucking Smoker doing.

What do you mean? Like, you know how a CD guy can kill you with the fucking thing? Oh, sure, sure. The guy's got the camera that kills you. Smoker just kind of puts one out on you. Yeah, and she's just like, and it's like poking her. And piston heads just horny? Yeah. Like, I

don't get it. I want to see some powers. I feel like there was probably a deleted idea there where it was like, and then Pistonhead just fucks you to death, right? It was like, eh. I don't know, Clive. A smoker is just going to smoke your entire body like a cigar. Oh, a smoking woman.

Oh, she's lighten up. But they're like kind of all around her, and then Pinnhead from on high is like, yes, this is my new crew. They're a bit of, he does say, they're a shadow of my old crew, though, which is kind of like, oh, man. May I present to you, the dreaded B team. CD guy, camera dude, cigarette girl. And Pistonhead, we really ran out of ideas.

It's what I had on me at the time. Look, I just unlocked hell. Do you really want the A game? It's not going to happen. This was a short thing. Yes, yes, I get it. I too miss Butterball. Do you not understand short notice.

It was tonight I needed. There is a cab driver that gets a, he's an innocent bystander. Oh, what happens is a cab driver? He gets a fucking CD right in the head or the throat or something. Also, this is some lazy shit. Like, I appreciate the fact that they wanted to set this movie in New York City. Cool place to take the franchise. That's fine.

There's one actual shot of Times Square. Yeah, we do have a shot at Times Square. We've got some B-roll, the skyline. That's fine. But my God, when these cops are hanging out, did you catch this on their badges. Summit company police? Oh, no. So are they like a security firm? Yeah, it's some, it's summoned company security. And then they just put police on top of it. Right. It's like, Jesus Christ, man. Get some phony NYPD things there, please. Yeah, you want to license what?

Hell what? Yeah, all right. Show, 50 bucks. Yeah, you can do that easily. Totally. Go cheap and just get detectives. Then you just get a fucking trench coat. I'm cleaning up New York. First of all, we're going to stop having our fucking name besmirts and hellwazers. Oh, God, it's the worst of the cenobites. Oh, that's true, yeah. Yes, speaking of chatters, dude. The phenobite the polluting times square. Where is it?

Is it before or after she gets to the construction site? I think it might be after, because there's this whole scene with the church. Oh, right? No, on her way, she stops at this church, which is like, takes, it's a whole different movie for five minutes. Yes, it very much is. It's like, oh, it would be really cool if Pinhead, like, fucked with a church, and that's

this scene. We drop in, this priest is like, oh, my child, there's no such thing as demons, and it's like, well, what the fuck is that? Yeah. You know, he comes in, he mocks, like, the Jesus crucifixion by pulling pins out of his head and jamming them into his own hands, and he even does

the, like, arms outstretched head slightly down at an angle thing. What an edge lord loser. just to own the libs too he doesn't fucking do anything nothing happens he destroys that altar though look out he destroys the altar he does

it takes him a while to take his pins out is like are there like bugs on them or what's going I thought it was just supposed to be like part of his brain oh yeah that's why he's dumb yeah it's an edge lord loser I agree with that does he kill the priest or no

he makes the priest like eat like a false sacchar Oh, no, that's, oh, that's right. He fucking rips, like, part of his own body off and feeds it to this dude. And he does, yeah, like, this is my flesh. This is my blood. And, like, there's some steam coming out, but we cut away from whatever happens to this priest. I need to see it. You see him spin it out, though.

It's got the actors like, Patilly. In the rock, when he punches the green ball into the guy's mouth, that's what I need. That's, dude, I need to shove that in there. I'm going to choke my money out of you. Then he gets it. There's very pin headlines in this scene. He's like, I am the way. I mean, the way is sort of whatever.

No, I mean like that famous fastball song. I am a story of an old couple that drove away and killed themselves. They made up their minds and then started talking. Where were they going? Without ever knowing the way. They drank up the wine. good song 90s jams

so right when all these centa bites are on her about to get her she solves the puzzle box and everybody goes away we cut we're back in limbo this is the line though this is the most important line of the entire franchise play with this pinhead oh right that's where it's uttered for the first time right she zaps all the centipites back into the box

or into hell or whatever and then we do get the dream we're back in purgatoy she meets her daddy in vietnam again and he's like oh you did such a great job what do you just give me that box what do you like you give me that box hey babe oh man long time nosy what did you give me that box he plays it a little cooler than that he's just like i i don't know i just told me to come here apparently you're my like daughter and um they said you have something for me i'm still getting used to the whole spiritual thing uh you know So it was a box, probably, probably a box. Yeah, it's probably a box.

And you know, I could use it, but I lost my box in the war, as you see. I lost my box in Vietnam, okay? Oh, Dad, how about here, have this box. This is what they must mean. And then, uh-oh, turns out to be pinhead in disguise. What? Stolen valor. Oh, right. Now is it?

Shit, we've been to end this scene pretty quickly. This is really illegal, you guys. This is the evilest thing I've done. Thank you for your service, ghost man. Is it the dad as, like, when he's revealed to be evil, because it's kind of, he's got like a smirk really quickly kind of a thing. Does the dad say it or does like Doug Bradley as pinhead say it? There's a line where one of the versions of this monster goes,

you're so ripe, Joey, and it's harvest time. Oh, yeah. It's a Hellraiser line, dude. It's a, it's a line from a Hellraiser movie. So, like, Ghost Doug Bradley comes out. There's some fucking time cop head melding going on. I thought there was going to be a real time cop. Like, they can't occupy the same space. Well, they can't because they merge. Well, the weird thing is, but first, because it's Hellraiser and because we got to jerk off to something. Absolutely. She gets right before, like, they go back to the bunker where Hellraiser became, or Penrahead became. pinhead and then he's like well i'm going to tie you up she gets tied up they put some like bondage

mask on her oh that's somebody was getting somewhere with this sequence i think it's a thing because i was going to say this earlier i wish there was a thing where we saw like the making of a centibite like in hell and i think this is how it starts no dude in in hellraiser too they do we get some some origin stories there's a guy who goes this crooked doctor he goes it it's like a big version of the puzzle box and he kind of goes in it's like a centabyte machine Oh, really? It's like Inspector Gadget or something. It's like injecting him with like, there's a centabyte juice.

Yes. And now we're taking some blood. Charlie Chaplin's in the gears. A bunch of like tiny centa bites start measuring him to see what his leather gown will be. Okay, I didn't remember that. I haven't seen the second one in really long time. But it looks like she's on her way to be cenobited. Yes.

Centubitten. Oh, once cenobited. Bitten. Welcome to Cenobites. May I take your order? No, we are out of mozzarella sticks. Tired of telling everyone I'm out of mozzarella sticks. How embarrassing. What are the specials that I? Brains and fuck. Wait, let me go back to my manager. Hold on. I'll just I'm sorry. It was actually flawn. I said fuck. I'm florn. I confused those all the time. Damn it, honey. I was really in the mood for fuck. A hot bowl of

He's going to order the fuck medium rare. Excuse me, thank you. Thank you for the drink. Is this guy going to be jerking off at our table the entire time? Well, it's a table side fuck. Okay, it's a restaurant. That's the theme. They're prepared at the table, you know?

We've been to some of those nice restaurants that do like guacamole. They prepare it at the table. This guy prepares the fuck at the table. He takes his dick out. He jerks off. Our waitress has been smoking the whole time. I don't really know if you allow that in here. I'm sorry.

I don't want to make a scene. So I'll just be quiet about it, but I found a hair in my fuck. And in my flog. Actually, that is how the, that is, yes, that is how the fuck is prepared. We're doing it. It's kind of a play on the 1970s. Very hairy fuck. I should have said that.

It's my mistake. We will comp you the flog. You get a free flan, but you're paying for the fuck. So they meld together or whatever. and then while that's going on she turns the puzzle box into a knife that's something of the second one as well where you can kind of it's a fortune fire thing

oh yeah this will kill the Swiss Army box she says you know you're famous go to hell and right yeah and well he's like stab me man do it oh yes because it's like good pinhead v evil pinhead

he's like I believe in you Joey yeah like his Doug Bradley's head like kind of jumps back again bad 90s CGI. Real bad. Sort of like morphs out real quick like do it. Yeah. So she does it. Go to hell. And then she escapes and like she wakes up literally in a forest. I mean this is not. I think Twilight was going on next door. And she's like, wow, that was really something. Remember what I was trying to be in a reporter? Ah, forget it. And she kind of picks up,

she picks up this box and it's a construction site. A big thing of cement. She puts sit in there because she thinks that's the best move but like this is like the sun is just rising there's just wet cement like a pool of wet cement just there great points and also it's weird because like and this is also a continuity error but it

shouldn't be shocking but like she takes this thing and pushes it all the way down like her hand gets submerged in the cement how deep is this thing? I thought something would grab her like yeah pull her in right but then when it cuts to like a wider shot she's like huh it's over and there's no

cement on either hand. She just walks away. You'd be spending at least 30 minutes getting that off. I said it once. I'll say it again. Get on like a Ritchie Tenenbaum ship. Go to the middle of the ocean and toss the fucker down. Oh, great. Now we've got dolphin centibytes. Wonderful.

Jesus, that'll give me nightmares. Oh, a megaladon centibite. Oh, shit. Yeah, the Megabyte. Oh, Aquaman Centibite. Oh, yeah. My man. My man, pinhead. Fierce pleasures. and then it's a weird

like time she walks away and like that's the end of her time passes and you see like the building that was built on the site and it just looks like the box what the fuck dude it's centibite HQ and that's what I want the next movie to be it's like the men in black office Centipite Incorporated

also known as Amazon no this is going to be yeah the sequel to this movie I didn't see it but it should be just Grimlins too but with centibites oh that would have been pretty great It's in an office building. This kind of is gremlins, too, with like, there's an electricity gremlin.

Now there's a CD centivite. They're very gremlin-esque. Gremlin two-esque. Yeah, absolutely. Bat centabyte. There's a lady centivide. There's a vegetable centibite. Got a Dracula centibite?

You got a, uh, remember that the line of Robocop or one of a Robocop two or three where there's an old man at the police station giving his son like shit or whatever? He's like, oh, you got a Robocop? Oh, you got a vampire cop. You got a aquacop? That I do not remember. It's in one of those movies. I cherish it.

I cherish that line. And then we just end with fucking Lemmy singing Hellraiser the song. Yikes. Terrible. What a poor use of motorhead. Hellraiser! Yeah. Okay.

All right. I wonder when that song was written. Was it for the film or was it on a motorhead? It was on a record. Was it made before the first one? Because that should just be, like, the titular song. Same year, maybe. Do you know who wrote that song with Lemmy?

Clive? Al-Az-Azborn, my friends. Oh, shit. Didn't he also record a version of it? Oh, Zer's a Hellraiser. It's fantastic. I bet you anything, Hellraiser is his favorite horror franchise. It's wonderful.

Shad! Hellraiser's art! Yeah, I'm fine. I'm going to bed again. more of a warlock fan you know that you know that oh fucking that's the end of this movie man would anybody recommend it

it's a light recommend it's kind of a fun stupid goofy horror movie it's a little bit extreme and I can see here's the thing the whole hellarizer franchise if you say fuck that franchise you're totally right

yeah if you're saying you're into it fine it's under my business I think the first one's fine the second one's boring the third one's just kind of fun stupid probably the dumbest of the three but the most fun yeah and then after that i'll never watch one of these ever again it's a light recommend for me too because the this is one of those franchise where you have to go for the stupid ones yes the third and the fourth one i think are the

stupidest so those are the two i would recommend uh the first two are garbage i think um complete trash but i did want to bring up uh in the massacre scene yeah zach galligan of gremlins is an extra murdered like he he there's a shot of him getting killed in the massacre scene Do you know what happens to him? No, I mean, like, it's in the trivia. Oh. And Zach Gallagin has some weird fucking blood oath with Anthony Hickokx, because he was in both those waxwork movies.

That I remember. And he has a fucking, Hickox directed the second Warlock movie. For no reason whatsoever, Zach Gallagin shows up as like a date at a door that Julian Sands just fucking murders. Maybe they're like buds or something. They could be best buds. Zach Gallagin, Centabyte, that's what I'm. want. Yeah. Yeah. Vegetable

Cenibite. I would like to pretend that Zach Gallagin played his Gramelin's character in this movie. Oh, and that's how that's the end of Billy. That's how he goes. Fucking finally. Well, if you are going to do a blood oath, I say go Joe Dante over

Anthony Hickhampton. So the city was just like closed down and besieged by Gramblings right before the Cenibite outbreak. Bad timing, bad luck. Yeah, dude. I will say actually both of those franchises have a lot in common because the first one actually opens in like a similar kind of ancient Asia thing where a guy does it really the guy's like oh it's your pleasure right the first one there's an Asian man selling the box

but they're like in Egypt or something yes yeah that's how like silk road it was funny Steve because you mentioned this at the big daddy dispatch recently and I totally agree with you how you will always 10 times out of 10 forget that the exorcist starts in Iraq every single time every you will put that movie on it here we go We're getting ready, fucking see Father Karas in Iraq? Yeah, it's like, what? I put the wrong DVD. What the fuck I'm in the desert for?

And it's like three minutes, but it's like a weird three minutes. It's a weird three minutes. Eric Siska. Yes, I would not recommend this. I don't like the Haler Razor series, but I think if you have to watch one of them, the first one I think is fine. Yes.

But, yeah, no, I put it, by the way, huge recommend Grimlins too. Yes. I actually really love Brimlands too. That's a fun one as fuck. I would say for me, I do dislike this franchise. This is like a creaky hand recommend. It's a more competent sequel.

And Chris Capman, I think you're bad shit crazy man saying that like some of the earlier ones, the crazier ones. You get to the fucking Lance Hanrickson video game one. You get to the fucking found footage one. I should say. Is it a found footage one? I think it's, that's what's weird. It's half of them, this was the second to most recent one, I think. Within the last like two or three years, there's one.

where like a good chunk of the movie is found footage and then it totally abandons the concept and then it's just a movie. Very stupid. I should make it point. I didn't watch anything past bloodline. Oh, I stopped right there. Oh, the fucking pleasures that you can experience.

That I have happily averted. That is Hellraiser 3 colon, hell on earth, directed by Anthony Hickox. Zach Gallagin's best friend. For more We Hate Movies, check out WHMpodcast.com. Just got handed something from the newsroom. Something from the news desk. What are we got?

Looks like our Patreon episode this month on patreon.com slash we hate movies is Van Helsing. What? Yeah, the huge Jackman movie. And if you sign up that $5 level gang, you get so much shit. You get ready player one. That was last months. Yeah.

And a whole lot more. more. A whole lot more. There's tons of You get bright, man of steel, speaking about Henry Cavill, jungle to jungle, tons of stuff, and you'll also get animation, damnation. We're doing the Smurfs this month, that'll be fun. So check that out. Patreon.com slash we hate movies.

Written review the show wherever you get it. We would greatly appreciated. Steve Sadek as the terrifying Halloween spookacular continues next week. What will we be talking about? We're talking about a haunted dog in Man's Best Friend. Dude, I love this movie. It's a great movie. Dude, pee's asses. So until next week with Lance Henrickson's Acid P.

I'm Andrew Jupin. Stephen, say it, Chris Cabin. Eric Acid P. Take it easy. Oh, I'm going to give that guy a million dollars. I can't find Eric Acid P. We all go a little mad sometimes. You know, it's Halloween.

I guess everyone's a title of one good scare. Sometimes, that is matter. Zombies have entered the building. They're at the door. They're coming in. It is time to keep your appointment with the Wicca Man. They're coming to get you, Barbara. He's sick for fucks.

He's seen one too many movies. Now, Sid, don't you blame the movies? Movies don't create psychos. Movies make psychos. More creative! Put the freaking lotion in the bag! What an excellent day for an exited. That was a hate gum podcast.