We Hate Movies - S9 Ep395: Episode 395 - It's a Wonderful Life

Episode Date: December 18, 2018

On this week's holiday cheer-filled We Love Movies, the gang chats about the beloved Christmas? movie, It's a Wonderful Life! How exactly did this become a film people love watching at Christmas? What's with tossing rocks through that abandoned house for good luck? And look on in awe as Jimmy Stewart berates a teacher over the phone... after berating a house full of children! PLUS: The entire life and career of Hollywood legend, Jimmy the Crow! It's a Wonderful Life stars James Stewart, Donna Reed, Lionel Barrymore, Thomas Mitchell, Henry Travers, Gloria Grahame, H.B. Warner, Todd Karns, and Jimmy the Crow; directed by Frank Capra. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This week on the program, we're putting a lasso around the moon and pulling it down to Earth, killing everyone on the planet. It's A Wonderful Life. I'm Andrew Jupin. Stephen Sadek. We're doing Melancholia, Chris Cabin. Eric Siska. And we love movies. Hello everyone. Welcome to the program. Thank you for tuning in, as always, like we said up top. Yeah, it's a wonderful life. From 1946, directed by Frank Capra,

congratulations on this movie being the oldest thing we've talked about on the show. beating out The Conqueror. The Conqueror. The Conqueror. That's like 60 something or early? 50s. 50s, I think.

Oh, fuck. I forgot. We deleted the episode on intolerance. Well, because it was nine hours long and my computer crashed. We did intolerance minute by minute, actually. By the way, the plot of the moon coming down to kill everybody

is the plot of Legend of Zelda, Majora's Mask, everybody. The lesser of the bunch, I'll say. Oh, I love that game. What era was that? That's a... It's the sequence of 64. Yeah, there's two 64 games.

One was Ocarine of Time, which is, I mean, yes, it is, that's the best game of time. At first, like, no. When 64 happened, I played it and all, but I fell off the Zelda train, man. I didn't play... I don't think either of those games. Can I admit something on the air? Oh, my God. I don't...

And it's not any fault of, like, having a negative opinion about it. Sounds like it is. No, I've just never really been on a Zelda train. I just never. played it. We played the NES one a little bit. Like, here's my little sword and we're getting secret passages. The music was great in that version, though.

Absolutely. Ocarina of Time and the New and Breath of the Wild will genuinely make you lose your job. You will start playing it and you will want to stay home for the rest of the month. You speaking from personal experience, Big Daddy? I didn't have a job so hard to you.

Mr. Potter's like all of these all of these layabouts, this working class playing Legend of Zelda Okarina of Time and Breath of the Wild. Yes, release the Skyward sword. They're all crush. This movie is an American

classic, FYI, but like a belated. Although I guess Zelda's a Japanese classic. This movie is an American classic, but not from when you think, though. This movie didn't become to get the story out of the way, because we watch

us at Christmas. Obviously, everybody knows that. Movie theater is all over the country play it. I'm playing it. I play it every year at the Jacob Burns for repertory stuff. This is not a Christmas movie. 30 minutes of this is a Christmas movie at the end. This is a film that

has a few scenes that take place at Christmas, at Christmas Eve, actually. And that's it. It wasn't until the 1970s when they bought up the rights to play it on television. There was the whole public domain thing. What happened to this movie is what happened to Freddie Kruger. Somebody signs

something in the wrong place and the form was fucked up and this movie went free into public domain. I'll tell you what happened is the influence of the movie is so humongous that they literally took it apart in different ways. Like most Christmas movies do are influenced by this. Most movies that are like home versus the unknown are referenced this in some way. It's got a good message, right? Like it's like, you know, now you're drunk on Christmas watching TV. You've got nothing going on for you and you see the story involved here and you see that you're rich because you have one friend

or whatever. And sadly, it also, all these fucking Christian like Catholic movies, firemen finds out that PTSD doesn't exist kind of movies.

All of them are take this Christian message. If you just pray, if you just all will pray, we'll be okay. I mean, yeah, God's involved in this movie, but I don't know what God this is. Not any God I ever met.

He is, He's the kind of God I'd be, dude. He's the kind of God that I would be, which is like, let's just roll the dice and see what happens. No, he's a God that wants to see you break. That's really his, he gets his giddies off that. It does seem like there's multiple gods. We're introduced to the sky.

And there's certain galaxies that are living beings and they talk to each other. I think we're in Mormon territory because all these stars come around, like little Clarence. And the weird thing is Clarence is an angel second class. which means he's dead and he hasn't gotten, like he lived as a man, died and went to heaven, which is not how angels worked where I come from.

Contemporary of Mark Twain, by the way. Yes. And he made clocks. I also think that the Mark Twain joke is this weird thing where it's like, that makes, because they start off and like, you know, the disguise is talking,

you know, like a normal movie beginning. And like Clarence is like, they're like, oh, we're going to have to send Clarence to take care of this George Bailey situation. And it's like, oh, he's got the mind of a child. So he's reading Tom Sawyer, which is like watching, like, I don't know. It's like if you were sitting around, like me watching Pingu.

Exactly. Well, this movie, there's a couple things that you forget at the start of this movie. So one, yeah, you forget that we go into space. And the camera kind of like, you go beyond Jupiter a little bit. It passes over the moon like it's fucking MST3K, like the little prop moon that we go over. You have that. I love. Oh, no, they're going to send me cheesy movies.

Oh, no, not cheese. movies. The worst they could find. It's a wonderful life. Just relax. Don't need answers. One of my favorite parts, though, is the title card of this movie, where it says it's a wonderful life.

And did you catch this? There's like an illustration of Santa Claus. He looks like he's skanking. Like he's just got like a leg out and he's like kind of got the arms in the air. There's so many questions for this intro because it's like, wait, is this a storybook? Are we being read a story of a fictional man here? Then we have people praying is how the sky wakes up, which is terrifying. Well, that's, dude, that's the whole thing, right?

The power of prayer is supposed to be like, if enough of us send our thoughts and prayers, you know, crazy people won't kill kids in schools anymore, right? Thoughts and prayers are going up to the sky. I never understand how that works. Like, you know what, either God gives a shit or he doesn't. I shouldn't have to intervene and be like, yo, dude, do your job. God should not have to hear it from the crowd like Hulk Hogan. But he does. So the plot is

Clarence is going to be sent down to Earth To help out this motherfucker named George Bailey Because the fucking lines have been ringing off the hook I can't even make it outgo and call Everyone's calling out George fucking Bailey And of course George Bailey Played by James Stewart He's the best

Great in this movie This is a great cast Everybody just remembers like Jimmy Stewart And that's it But you have Donna Reed as Mary she's awesome fucking Lionel Barrymore from the silent era

is here as Mr. Potter and of course Gloria Graham as Violet Oh Violet the town Lucy Goosey Big ups for Ward Bond

Who's Ward Bond? John Ford He's one of his favorites He's a bunch of Westster He's the cop He's buddy cop There's Bert and Ernie Ernie's the taxi driver

Which I assume is where Sesame Street That's what everybody thought, but apparently one of the major writers on Sesame Street claimed that that's just a coincidence. Okay, he's just a liar. I think he's a fucking liar. Yeah. I mean, dude, you work with puppets all your life like that.

You're going to be a liar. And you probably have taken acid over the holidays and was just there and you remember it. The story behind this movie, which is amazing, this movie basically started as a chain letter, kind of. A guy wrote a short story. I couldn't be a public.

You forward this to your grandfather. Or else a bunch of kids are going to die in Africa. It was a short story this guy wrote, couldn't get published. It's creepy pasta, Mary. Did I tell you that I'm dead? He sent it out as Christmas cards. He sent it out all over around for Christmas cards. And then like I think Carrie Grant's got it and wanted to make it.

Or the Carey Grant's people got it and wanted to make it a movie. But like, yeah, this is like forward it to your friend. It's just that thing like my grandfather would forward and be like, oh. And then the Lord gave him what he, just what he needed. Forward it to 10 people. Money. The Lord gave him. I have to say it took

so what are we in 2018 right now it took the better part of 20 years my parents have finally stopped forwarding those kind of emails fucking finally and it was only within like the last

three to four years okay but you're not going to get anything from that Nigerian prince this film takes place in the fictitious town of Bedford Falls which is somewhere in western New York yeah which is kind of and I were getting

name drops here like the city of Rochester. I love that there was a guy it's the bank inspector who's like, I just want to get in here and see what your business is up to and then get out of here

so I can get back to Elmira with my family. Elmira is like this middle of New York State, nothing town, sneeze and you miss it. I've driven through it before. I couldn't believe a reference to Elmira, New York.

We should apologize to the residents of Elmira. All three of them. They're all listening. Quick thing about the bank inspector before we get all the way there. But, like, I mean, it's your fault for going there on fucking Christmas Eve. Like, take that weekend off. Seriously. And then, like, visit him on the 28th or some bullshit.

Like, it's not, doesn't need to happen that night. If you want to get back to your fucking family, it's not going to happen because you're the one that is doing this bank inspector. You could go home and get a hot plate of out on your ass. Maybe there's more going on to that guy than we know. Like, he wants to be away from Finn. Got it. All those hallmark, it always drives me nuts. All those hallmark and Lifetime movies.

It's like, oh, we got to go to the fucking Christmas party on Christmas Eve. It's like, well, no, nobody's around. No. That's why everybody's doing these Christmas parties. Family shit. December 7th or bust. Wow. Really?

That's really early. That's really early. That is really. But that's fine. I mean, I understand where you're coming from. I would prefer like the 13th or so. Yes. I understand what you're coming.

So the deal is, obviously, if Clarence gets George, Bailey to not commit suicide, which by the way, the way that they put this is very interesting. Also, God says that Clarence has the IQ of a rabbit. And the face of a child. He says that at 10.45

p.m. tonight, George Bailey is going to throw away my greatest gift. That's what we're talking about here. And that, Friends, is suicide. Taking your life. There's also this great thing when the celestial bodies are talking.

to each other that it's like it's and Clarence is like well is he sick like why do I have to go down there it's worse it's worse than being sick much worse he's discouraged oh man that's much worse than having cancer

dude if I had fucking if I got an angel coming down every time I was discouraged I would never get any work done that's true I'm just living with an angel now Joseph just says that Clarence has the IQ of a rabbit

can you even measure that shit when you're an angel Angel? Don't you just know the all of eternity? I think it's like a thing, well, he's an angel second class, motherfucker, so he's just a dead guy. Show me your papers. Angel second class.

Dine up appearing, bitter. God? You go to the angel slums. Wait, am I an angel? Yes, yes, an angel. Angel second class. You sure I'm not a devil guy? This is interesting reading of Don Rumsfeld's The Bible.

So it's weird, though, and like, I don't know, I assume most people have seen this movie. Yeah, that's one of those movies. Growing up with this movie. So much of this, I mean, we take an hour and whatever it is, like 40 minutes until we get to Christmas. And most of this movie is just the shit-ass life of George Bailey. Dude, this guy never had a chance. I mean, I just think that this is like, you know, it's, I mean, this is something very relatable, especially in the, it was a hard, you had a hard fight. fucking road, man. It's a hard road out there. But like, it, the pattern in which he's like

almost crossing the town limits and gets pulled back in, like this story is totally like Kafka-esque to use a word I hate, but like he can't fucking escape this shit. His suicide bridge is like, Mary, this is the, this is the furthest I've been out of the shire. No, it is. It's almost like you want to, you, you imagine when like, you know, he goes to the druggist later on. And he has that little machine where he's like, I wish I had a million dollars.

Hot dog. Well, can I leave town tomorrow? Yeah. Can I leave town the next day? William Shatner taps him on the shoulder. He's like, are you going to be on that long? I have to make a wish. So, yeah, we open on,

the first thing Clarence sees is 1919 when George Bailey is like 10 years old or some odd thing. Holy Toledo with this. 12 with 12. The great part about this is the intro Where Mr. Potter's driving by And it's like, is that a king? Yeah.

Like, well, Clarence, in modern American economics, yes, that is a king. He's a fucking millionaire. Yep, he's a king. You can do whatever he wants. Yeah, we're riding shovels down a hill As if they were sleds. Man, what a time to be alive.

Dude, you've never done that? No, I've totally done that. You've ridden a shovel? Yeah. Interesting. You use the pole as a little steering wheel. Okay. Oh, yeah. I grew up poor.

I mean, I grew up poor. In the Bronx, there's no hills. Well, yeah, you're just going to go out and get hit by a city bus. I think I've used a garbage can lid. Oh, yeah. One of those big dudes. Yeah. So we're all riding...

Rubber made. We're all riding down. E.A. E.A. Sam Wainwright, by the way. That guy will not let that joke die. That's amazing that that dude has been keeping this up since the end of World War I. And this little donkey voice. Bless George Bailey. every time he's fucking greets it with a smile

and says, then, motherfucker, let it go. Yeah, dude. Holy shit. Later in the movie, they're like, oh, fucking Sam Wainwright. Oh, E.A. E.A.A. Sam. But then he does, Sam Wainwright's move at the end of this movie is the one that really gets the waterworks going for me.

Oh, yeah. When the telegram comes, because Sam grows up to be a millionaire. He says, he authorizes his business to give Georgia Bailey up to $25,000. No questions asked. The hair of my arm is tingling right now. I lose it when Sam Wainwright's gift comes through. I always cry over money. So whilst doing this, George's little brother, Harry,

gets in a pit of fucking shallow ice there. And George has to dive in and save him, where he loses his ability to hear in his left ear. What should he calls it? Oh, it's my trick ear. It's a trick ear. What trick is that? It's a trick because a lot of people come up

and yell shit at me. I think it's a trick. It's a trick because it doesn't work. It abused my disability. It's one of those old 1950s parlances when Don Draper has a hot tooth, he calls it. It's going through hot tooth, hot tooth, hot tooth. Oh, I got a hot tooth. Going to the dentist with my hot tooth.

A lot of hot hearts in Don Draper's time too. Oh, it's my trick heart. Oh, God, got the hot crotch again. Yeah, exactly. The hot crotch. Especially during the war. That means warts. Oh, sorry, I keep going to the bathroom.

I got my trick, stomach, act it up again. So then we see, like, yes, a little George. He's already working, by the way. It's 1919, you fucking better get to work a little kid. Oh, yeah. Yeah, he's working at the druggist because all the good factory jobs were taken by the other kids in town. It's amazing. And I mean, like, this kid is like tending bar, selling shoelaces, selling cigarettes.

I love this. It's like this, it's a moment where it's kind of like a little rascals bit because it's like George is working behind the counter and then Mary comes in

and they're a bit flirtatious and then like Little Violet comes in and she's more flirtatious and forward with George. Dude, it's just like the Little Rascals movie where that movie should be entitled

The Little Rascals Colin horny kids. Dude, not to be a jerk but it's 1919. The clock was ticking on those two girls. Like, you know what I mean? That's true.

They were 10 years old. You got to find a husband by the time you're 15 or else you might become an old maid Eric, we'll get to old made, but yes, it's just like oh shit, I better fucking, I got to stake up my husband now or else

they want to throw me into the pit of carcoon on top of the old maid situation, like the first thing where you're just like, oh, is right before he goes to work, one of his friends is like, yeah, yeah, yeah, go to work slave. Oh, yeah. I'm like, oh boy.

When Violet comes in, she's like, Mary says something like, oh, what, do you like George? And she's like, yeah. And then the girl playing Mary goes, you like every boy. And Violet's like, yeah, what's wrong with that? And I'm like, what conversation is this? And then George Bailey, the little kid, George Bailey,

holds up his National Geographic, says that when he grows up, he's going to travel the world. And he will have a couple of harems. A couple of harems and no less than four to five wives. We might be in Mormon town. You're right. Little Mitt Romney Oh, that's

That there is my trick ear Oh yeah, don't mention 2012, that was my trick elections One thing There's product placement in this movie You know, we would make fun of it It was Transformers Revenge of the Who Gives a shit Right

There's a Coca-Cola in all over that There's something called Sweet Caparol Cigarettes Which the slogan is Ask Dad He knows. Oh, yeah, dad knows. You're sucking those down, dude.

I bet it was cigarettes with sugars sprinkled in it. Oh, yeah. Or maybe like a sugary mouthpiece or something. Sugar rats. I mean, little George Bailey is just fucking making these maltons just waiting for a smoke break. Like, oh, Christ, dude. He says to Mary. Gowers got me working.

I want to start, like, talking like they did back then again with, you start every sentence with say. And he says to Mary, he goes, say. brainless? Oh my god. She, a very sweet little moment, he's reaching down and he's like,

is that your bad ear? And then she's like, one day I'm going to marry you, George Bailey. It's adorable. Says it in the fucked up year. This is like a biff tann in line. Yes.

Is that your trickier? Mark my words, Lorraine. Someday you're going to be my wife. Oh, that's cute. They're kids. Is that your trickier, George Bailey? I'm going to fucking kill you. What?

You will never see it. I'm going to kill your husband and then I'm going to bury him and then I'm going to seduce you with money and then I'm going to build a hotel. So Old Man Gower, by the way, is drunk as a skunk. This is the shopkeep who's the druggist.

Yes. And George is whistling along. He's making drinks whistling and he says, my favorite line in the movie is like, ah, nobody paid you to be a canary. It's just a good ass line, man. And George discovers there's a telegram and it's like, hey, Mr. Gower, bummer, dude, your fucking son succumbed to pneumonia. Merry Christmas. Where is, what's his son up to, by the way? I don't know, but he's like, you see that photograph in the back room and he's at least like a grown man.

I was picturing like a little kid somewhere. I think it's influenza and it's 1919, so he might be left in Europe after the war, like trying to recover out of a hospital bed is my thoughts. Yeah, totally. So this dude is drinking to forget this shit. And it comes to pass that he's been getting some pills together for some kid. And he fucks it up and fills these capsules with poison. What is this? What is this poison pills?

He's like, oh, yeah, I could fill your prescription. Or if you got a wealthy suitor you're looking to get rid of. Old man Gower's got you covered. It's a jar like two feet big of poison. Just poison powder. It says people killers. but back then they would just be using that shit to

kill literally any nuisance animal around. They weren't regulating that shit. Like if there was a stray dog in your backyard and you kept on eating your turn-up or whatever the fuck. Put that shit in the hardware store. Put the medicine in the pharmacy. Yeah, you're absolutely right. They should not be co-mingling on

the same countertop. Although I was also misremembering the scene because I don't watch this movie every year. I have seen it a bunch of times. But of course, everybody only really remembers the last 30 minutes because that's the Christmas part. So at this part I'm watching it, I'm like, oh yeah, that's right. Old man

Gower ate all that poison. I wish. That's what you should have done, Gower. No, but instead... Little George Bailey putting his little arm down the old man's throat to get him vomit. It's like plunging this dude. It's like the scene from almost famous. Oh, Mr. Gower, what'd you take? What'd you take?

Because he's so drunk and he falls down in that chair and I was like, oh, right, suicide. you gotta get these pills over to little Joey and he's like oh they got the diphtheria over there he's like yeah I don't give him the pills he realizes it's poison and he doesn't know what to do so he goes to see his dad he's like let me ask my dad

because here's the thing and a grown up told you to do a thing and of 1919 no questions asked mister yep you just do it should I mean that's how 1990 worked for me too your ears box which we'll get to your your boss instructed you to kill that little kid. You fucking do it because a grown-up told you to.

So he goes to his dad. His dad runs the building and loan there with his fucking piece of shit, Uncle Billy. Jesus, Uncle Billy. Talk about dumb as a fucking squirrel. One of Sinema's greatest losers Uncle Billy. Absolutely. Mount Rushmore of Loserdom.

Stupid fuck. And also, this, you know, you want to talk about like legislation for term limits? Dude, you got to force people into early retirement. I don't care if you own this business. Fuck you. You should. be working. No, no, no, no. This is all because James Stewart's father, Chuck Grassley, decided that he was going to give his brother a place to fucking drink for the rest of his life. Yeah, you get a fucking office. You got a door with your name on it. It can close and just

chug a lug. But I mean, like, it is the fucking, uh, the Bailey's fault. Like, Uncle, you know what Uncle Billy does? He's the, you know what? You have all year to plan the Christmas party, Uncle Billy. You stay in here. You figure out the best decorations. Yep. And the best songs. No, no, no, that's all you got to do. See you in 11 months. Don't touch a fucking nickel that's in this place. I cannot believe that this man is handling money.

So my cinematic Mount Rushmore of Losers would be, or cinematic and theater as well, would be Uncle Billy. Yeah. You got Willie Lohman up there for sure. Of course. Woody Harrelson from White Men Can't Jump. That's a good one. Nice Paul.

I'm trying to think who would be the fourth guy. Fredo Corleone. Oh, Frato Corleone's got to be on the mountain. Yeah. Rush war of losers. Modern ones, I feel Kyle Shandler and Carol. Oh,

yes. That's a big one. That's a big one. Samwise Gamji. Oh, yes. He does redeem himself, but he is kind of a loser.

At least in like those first two movies, he's a loser. Yeah. Paul Giamatti in all. Hey. No, that's, ah,

never mind. It's a different mountain for Paul Giamati. It's like fucking Skeletor's cast. like that big skull, it's just Paul Giamatti. Oh my God, dude, fucking castle Giamatti. Him with just a bunch of different pairs of glasses on. But so, yeah, he goes to his father, his father's meeting with Old Man Potter,

who we kind of talked about, who is a monster. And I mean, like, this is that anti-capitalist movie. I mean, it is and it isn't. You know what I mean? We can go around it, but it is like an ethical capitalist movie. You're Joe Kennedy. You're Joe Kennedy the third ethical capitalism. Is that, is he going by that now?

He's trying to go for it. I had no idea that was a thing. I apologize. No, no, no, but that's kind of what the idea is. Like, you know what I mean? It's like just enough. It's help when you need it, but also you really need to get a fuck. Well, because like James Stewart is making those points at one, in one of the scenes here

where he's like, you know, wouldn't you rather these people aren't worrying about like how they're going to find housing? They can live in a house. They can concentrate on work, which means like they're making more money. Yeah. Like spreading their wealth into your businesses, blah, blah, blah. Right, they'd be better customers. And it's a great argument for it.

We do need Medicare for all. We need public, free housing. Yeah, and the, uh, these are basic things. People need to live. Yes, and a living wage from the government. Exactly. And the right to give kids poison. Should you choose.

But yeah. And Potter doesn't believe in any of that. Like, he just wants to get as many, like, and even to the town's detriment, he just wants to get as many nickels as he can in his fucking rotten, old, fucking seedless hand. And it's potter. Potter wanting to default on these loans like weeks before Christmas. It's just so crazy going back and watching this movie and seeing in 1946 these ideals on

screen. And now we live in Potter'sville. Like we just live in Potter's. Oh, our reality is Potter's. Yeah. Absolutely. Right down to the pornography. It wasn't, it wasn't. But George Bailey's ideas weren't radical. Really. I mean, they were kind of, but like now they are extremely radical. Right. Right. Which is what do we do? It's interesting, you can read up on it on Wikipedia a little bit. This movie was investigated by the FBI. It would be now. That's it.

I want the FBI investigating Hollywood and there's socialist propaganda. That's exactly what it was. They were like, this movie has, like, strong messages of communism in it. I am directing my AG to Sue Paul Schrader and First Reform for suggesting that climate change is man-made. Or against God. What are we talking about here, folks? Don't we love, don't we love green book, don't we love it? All right, we're going to do Medicare for all.

We're going to do it. We're going to do it. Give them all the poison pills. Anyone leeching off the government gets the poison pills. Sir, this is a Wendy's. So he, I'm sorry. Baconator. Oh, sorry, baconator.

I would like to introduce you to my new chief of staff now that John Kelly is gone, he's the baconator. Oh, my God. Oh, man. Say hello, baconator. A talking sandwich, giving a press conference. And the New York Times is like, well, I think the Baconator is doing a pretty good job

in making a more, a more quiet Trump these days. I got a, I got to hand it to the Baconator. Pulling out of Iran deal was a problem. The son's done that. Is that the Baconator talking? You shut your line, bacon, tongue before I eat it.

Oh, I'm going to. going to eat your tongue. I'm going to eat your juicy, salty bacon tongue. I'm so glad we got rid of the line and leak and baconator. He was terrible. Chicken sandwich is who I wanted from the start, and he was not available,

but now chicken sandwich is here to stay. New York Times, yet again, the chicken sandwich was just turning around the Trump administration. Who would have guessed? Wait, what's the best? He's unstable. Chicken sandwich was lazy.

He was all so stupid. and I ate him. I'm eating all my staff. So, yeah, whatever. Potter. You know, you just kind of meet Potter and you meet Jimmy Stewart's dad who is a very sweet old man but also you can tell, like,

doesn't really care about turning a prophet and he's a very nice man. So basically, long story short, is George Bailey decides not to deliver the poison not to kill him. It just reminds me of that scene in Swing Kids when, what did you call it, Robert? What's his face name?

Robert. John Leonard. Robert Short Leonard is delivering remains of people from the Nazis, and then he opens it up and freaks the fuck out. Similar. Very similar. In any way, he decides not to do it. Mr. Gower gets a call, and he's like, that medicine was supposed to be there an hour ago, and George comes in. He's like, what did you give him that medicine? He starts hitting this kid. Beating the shit. My lord. Beats him bloody. And by the way, my trick here is even worse now. I guess the guy, H.B. Warner, who played Gower, was a bit of a method actor

and was drunk when he filmed this scene and hit the kid and actually caused his ear to bleed but he gave him a hug afterwards so it's fine I mean like Was he nominated for an Academy Award?

The shit going on in Hollywood in the 1940s I don't want to I wouldn't put my kid on that set Hey Capra watch this Put your pants back on It was the 40s

and like it was your right to hit any kid you want Absolutely. You could go, if a kid fucking crossed you, you could just box that kid's ears. And the parents would be cool with it, man, because it was the kid's fault guaranteed. Well, it teaches them discipline. It teaches them, you know, when you do something wrong, you get hit. Back then, we respected our elders.

And what do you get back out there. You deliver that poison. I knew exactly what was in the bills. You're going to fuck my plan up. That child's mine. You don't know it. I had an affair with the wife. the world takes one of my children

I take one of the world's children. I think that's exactly what was going on. Or, you know, maybe it was a fucking dead zone situation. He had a vision of that kid becoming president. Yep, yep. Puking somebody. I have to...

He's got to be friends with someone named Oppenheimer. We got to stop this. The ice is going to break. He's eventually going to star in the West Wing. We got to stop it. Lil Aaron's working. But no, yeah. I mean, like, he's beaten the shit out of this kid. The kid's crying.

I mean, I'm sure, you know what, to be, to H.B. Warners' President, credit, I'm sure that really informed the kid's performance. And that's some real tears on set. Because that kid thought he was going to die that day. And Capra's like, amazing. Perfect. In any event, he does reveal that you were, it was poison, sir, it was poison. Right. And then this dude, like, loses it.

And he's crying and he's fucking hugging this kid. And then it's revealed. Because that guy's been drinking all day, by the way. Absolutely. We will not take much for this dude to start fucking pouring. tears. And it's revealed, though, that George Bailey never said a fucking word about the poison incident. Because we then, we flash forward, we finally get Jimmy Stewart as a college age man. And yeah, God's like, and by the way, he didn't fucking leak shit about that poison

thing. As you know, Clarence, snitches get stitches. Oh, that's right, boss. Thank you. And now he's going to go on a cow boat and see the world. Man, the smell. Can you even imagine being on a boat full of cows? That's just poop central. He gets a suitcase. I want a big one. Big cow?

No, he wants a bigger suitcase. Oh, right, yeah. But not just for a couple of days, for a couple of years. Put all my clothes in for a couple of years. He's also talking about where the stickers placements would be from all the places he's travelers. Like, oh, right, and right here, Baghdad. Does he say Baghdad?

He does say Baghdad, yeah, sure. And can you imagine all the. the customs, like this guy stopping the custom age. No, no, no, put it there. Don't just slap it. Man? I got to get all my, listen, I got a whole plan here for

my stickers. Don't you put that fucking Marrakesh sticker there, you put it over there. Pay attention. Yeah, put it right above the Iron Maiden sticker. I sketched a weird S into the corner there to give it a little character. Put it next to the

3D cube, I doodled. Well, I was going to yell you, but that's a pretty impressive 3DQ. Kind of tripping me out here. Yeah, so, and Mr. Gower, actually, actually bought him a really nice suitcase. It's like, thanks for not ruining my life. Right, yeah, thanks for keeping quiet about that whole child abuse and almost poisoning thing. And also, not for nothing. Like, I mean, he does lose his hearing.

He's like, oh, it's my bad air. It hasn't healed yet. They say it's because of the pneumonia. I feel like Gower had something to do with it. Had Gower fucking kept his hands to himself? Would it healed up. Yeah. Keeps him out of World War II, though.

Save my life, Mr. Gower. I would have died on the beaches of Normandy. Gower, I mean, like, the weird thing is this town is full of immortals. Like, his dad dies. Everyone else lives forever. It's insane. Like, Mr. Gower is 105 in 1919. And then when World War II launches off,

Mr. Gower is still, like, jogging every morning. I am forced to believe that martini is Zeus. I think that leads, it lends credence to the whole idea that this is some weird fucking Godot slash Kafka fucking bubble town. It makes sense. It's a Twilight Zone episode.

They are under the dome. So we kind of, and this is the first of many times where like, again, like, Stewart wants to leave town. Like, that's his fucking dream to get out of this fucking one horse piece of shit down. He's been reading that Gio since 19.

And he's about to do it. This is when, is this, what, oh, he goes, he's like going around town. He's like, oh, it's going to be a great trip. He goes home to meet his dad, his brother, their maid, and his mother. Right. And, you know. Why did you say made like that? Because it's uncomfortable.

Okay. Yeah, it's a bit, yeah. Listen. I mean, it was standard practice. There's been much worse in the movies. Okay. I mean, this is no, this is no gone with the wind. We'll give it that.

Exactly right. This woman is allowed to be a human being with the mind of an adult. So she's got that going for. But it's still a white ethno state. Oh, absolutely. Well, dude, they're in a dome. And Harry Bailey is like grabbing her ass and it's like, I'm going to marry you one day. And it's a big joke.

Could you even imagine such a thing? Could you even what a fucking knee slapper? The grab ass is outrageous. Yeah, exactly. I couldn't believe. I didn't remember that part either. But so like, and I love this because Jimmy Stewart, he's going to, Harry just graduated high school.

I think Jimmy Stewart's in his early 20s at this point, he skipped college. He's about to go to college. There's this weird plan where the family could only send one kid to college at a time so everyone kind of waits a little long than they would. But like...

Well, also, no, it's not one to college at a time. It is... The brother is graduating high school, but they've only saved enough money for Jimmy Stewart for George to go to college. Yeah. This other dude is, like, maybe you're going to go work at the building and loan for a couple.

And Jimmy Stewart's like kind of planning like, well, then I'll come back and then he'll go. But it's like, where's that money coming from? It's the old switcheroo. He's going to go away for four and then Harry gets to go away for four. But I also think it's a little bit of like a scam. Like, yeah, yeah, I'll definitely come back. Harry, hold the bag for me for a while. Oh, that's exactly what it's going to be, dude.

And like, why not? That's what the brother does to him after that. Oh, man, that fucking rotten brother will get to me. Dude, what a piece of shit. So we, uh, it's exactly. It's great. He's wearing a suit jacket and a bowtie. He's eating dinner with his dad. We got a lot of like, why the building loan is important.

And he's kind of like, I don't want to become you, dad, you piece of shit. And then he's like, oh, I got to go change for the party. I'm like, dude, you're wearing a suit. Like, what are you talking about? Dude, people just dressed better back then. You went out to get, you know, you reach in the medicine cabinet. You're like, oh, I'm all out of poison pills. I got to go to the druggist.

You put on a fucking three-piece suit before you go out of the door. It was a more formal society. We haven't had that breakdown yet. If you went to the stationery store without a time, they shoot you. Yeah, dude, you're straight up right in the head. The police would come and arrest you for vagrancy. There's a great line in the conversation with the dad where Jimmy Stewart says that Mr. Potter is sick in his soul if he even has one.

Oh, yeah. The way these shots are framed too made me think like, wait, are they trying to make the father look a little bigger? And like, is Jimmy Stewart like Clifford in this? Because he looks very old for like a 20-year-old. He's in his mid-30s at this point at least, at a hard 30-something. He just came back from World War fucking 2. Yeah, there's probably some like shoe polish on Jimmy Stewart's head, make him darken up that hair again.

So he does go to the party. He kind of reluctantly goes to his brother's party. And I love the no gym tonight, son. No gin for any of you. No gin. You stay away from that gin, boys. You know what happens to you, Harry. You go down to that pond and try to put yourself.

back in the water. We can't be having that again, Harry. The cops won't come this time. Everybody knows what happens when I drink gin. I turn into a werewolf. Some gin for me and my rabbit friend here. Well, it's a weird thing where

it's Harry's graduation party, they say. Yeah, sure. But then like he also, this is a fucking dickhead move. Dude, Harry Bailey is such a dickhead. He's like, by the way, I'm taking like 14 pieces of your good China down to the party. She's like, the fuck you are. So they wonder.

Weird of that potter money, man. That's all we have. They wind up bringing like a bunch of pies and shit too. And it's a weird like Jimmy Stewart isn't going to go to this party at first. But then when the douche chill conversation happens with his dad, he's like, oh, maybe the party's a great idea. Well, all right. Well, shit. If I stay home, I got to listen to my dad.

I can't put on television. I don't know what's on the radio. Yeah, I'll go to the party. You took the pies? Those were our car payments, you little shit. But then it's weird because when they get to this graduation party, it's like a school dance. Yes.

It's at the school. It's in the gymnasium. There's like chaperones and so on and so forth. Everybody's 18. I'm sure the drink gauge didn't turn to 21 until like whatever, the 70s. Yeah. So it was fine for them to drink, but it was like a little bit weird. Also fine to be drinking gin, by the way.

Fuck you, dad. Fuck you, old man, Bailey. I'll turn into a werewolf if I want to. Or is it in the middle of Prohibition? When is this? So it was 1919 when he was 10. It was like 20 something. I think Prohibition was already repealed.

Yeah. These are God-Fearant parents. They're not going to talk about gin in the house if it's Prohibition. So one of these guys, you get Sam Wainwright back, adult San Wainwright. He's doing the-Haw! And it's how fucking shit. Say, hey, Sam. Sam, how's it going?

Sam is the same year as George. Yes, he's older. So this is also a weird thing where it's like you graduated high school a few years ago and now you're coming back and you're saying hi to all the teachers and the principal and busting balls. It's all about getting a 17-year-old wife. That's the idea. That's your 17 to 18-year-old wife. Oh, boy.

By the way, Prohibition 1922, December 5th, 1933. I was just actually looking it up too. So it's probably in the midst. I think that's why it's like no gin. Oh, that's maybe why. Yeah. But it's like a thing no one police is it's like a. It's like marijuana in New York City.

All right. Now, kids, when you go to that graduation party, no smoking that sick cron. You fucking get home and smoke that under my roof. You stick to that sour diesel, God damn it. You know what happens when you smoke that chronic boy? Turn into a werewolf. Cool weed dad.

Oh, yeah. Just do it in the basement where I could keep my eye on it. It was always weird running into cool weed dad because cool weed dad oftentimes, the Venn diagram of cool weed dad often often overlapped quite generously with parents who swing or at least were like loose fun enough that they appeared as if they may swing those parents were weird I grew up with a one cool weed dad who I really liked so I'm going to put that on the record probably I've got one example of a cool weed probably

really likes Wilco now right one time in in high school like people were like oh yeah we're going to go to this like party it's going to be great no yeah nobody's all be going on there and you know I go there and it's like tons of old people like parental parental ages uh-huh just drinking and doing drugs with 14-year-olds no problem wow i went to one of those once congregate like tons of older people congregating with children and getting drunk it was like and i was like well uh i'll see you later yeah yeah you have to get out of there i don't want to wake up with my pants missing or whatever i don't know what the end game is on those people at the end of that story was the house burned to the ground and all the doors were locked.

What is this? The Pope's birthday? So we're at this party. One of his buddies, not Sam Wainwright, is like, hey, could you do me a favorite, George?

And it's like the shittiest thing for a brother to do to his sister. It's like, give out Mary a dance. It will make her a year. And it's like, oh, man. He's like, well,

oh, God, fucking Mary. Oh, wait, she's played by Donna Reed. Hold on. There is a great. It's a great shot. Frank Capra composed

some really nice close-ups. There's a good back and forth between, Jimmy Stewart and Donna Reid seeing each other for the first time. Masterful composition. It's a beautiful. I mean, the movie's beautiful.

It's great. Through and through. And also, I bought this on Blu-ray for this taping. And I didn't know it was a two-disc. It's the most old lady fucking Blu-ray set I've ever gotten. The menu is of a Christmas ball.

Oh, Jesus. My grandson got me my favorite movie. Did it come with a VHS tape? No. No, the second disc is the colorized version. Of course it is. Yep. I accidentally throw it the

garbage. I accidentally put that on Amazon last night. I was like, no, no. And what's fucked up? Get this Ted Turner nightmare out of you. It's so fucked up though because the way Amazon lists them, it's two separate selections, like Eric said. But the colorized version is the version

that just says it's a wonderful life and then the one that all humanity should watch. It says it's a wonderful life, parentheses black and white version. What? Fucking suck it. No. Colourized version. You assholes.

Come on Bezos, you Grinch. The shot of the one that always sticks with me is the Gower, the backs with the rows of all the different vials and the backs of the... Oh, yeah. But he's doing that. And that is actually the only scene that stayed from Clifford Odette's worked on this. Okay. And that was the only scene of his that actually stuck in the movie. And it actually does...

Like, it's the darkest scene, I think. Oh, my God. Yeah. The whole Gower sequence is very... I want the Gower. movie. It's a wonderful life. The Gower cut.

No, that would be Clint Eastwood's last movie. So much poisoning. So he meets Mary that they hit it off obviously. And like she's obviously been in love with him forever. And like we start doing that he. He's obnoxious. He is.

Oh, because he's like coming back and he's like, you know, he's fucking 22. He's about to go out. I'm going to build skyscrapers and, et cetera. How dare you have dreams? It's fucking annoying, dude. He shoves this fucking little freckle face. nerd out of the way.

Dude, this is one of the fucking funniest lines in the movie, though. You remember what he says? No, no, no, please. Because the guy, there's another dude who's talking to Mary. It's fucking Donna Reed. The line was around the block. Like, holy shit, Donna Reed's at this party? Absolutely. But it's kind of like the

Scram McFly. Like, it's the same thing. This guy's like, hey, I'm talking to this dame or whatever. And Jimmy Stewart gets in this guy's fucking face and he goes, oh, why don't you stop being so annoying? Well, because he was like fucking six foot nine yeah don't fuck with jimmy stewart man holy shit i know this this nerd is now displeased with the situation so he's like his buddy comes by he's like hey i got the key to open up the pool

like you want to kill these people you want to fucking kill this whole party we'll drop him in the pool and then put the floor back together and let them drown it's such an insane thing the principal who appears to be like this fun loving fat guy actually um he got he's like a mr weather B type. He's like, oh, and I have to thank so-and-so for giving us the idea to put the gymnasium floor over this pool saved us a bunch of money on building another building. And I'm like, oh, that's interesting. But yes, the downside of this is if you have a couple of pranksters at the dance, one of which that just got cock blocked by George Bailey. But on the other side of it, you see, you saw the death. Of course you did. Of course, yes. Because that's Eric's thing. But what I saw was

like all these fucking young kids are now like fucking dripping wet been fucking we're talking orgy time here everybody great point town orgy thin line between death and horny there was like 10 kids board exactly nine months later after that exactly you did after this pool incident you did not want to take a look at the bedford falls high locker room there is some fun tension here because they're dancing and and they think everyone's reacting to their dance moves charleston contest yes yes he does the charleston and they're getting closer and closer to falling into the pool. Right. So everyone's like

oh, they eventually do and then everyone else realizes they want to be horny and weather as right. And they all start jumping in and who the hell knows what happens after this. Even Mr. Weatherby, he's just like, oh, this looks like fun. And then the principal jumps in the pool.

What a great night. You get a stuntman for that guy because you see like everybody else. I mean, there are clearly stuntmen in this scene where like they jump back in and blah, blah. Yeah. But you see this guy he does that the old fashioned like put my hands together, get ready to dive, and he just goes out of frame. Yeah, that's enough.

And you're a splash. Hey, buddy, you want to get back at Jimmy Stewart? Why don't you do something that's going to guarantee she's going to have to get out of her clothes? I know. Not what a best plan. So we have the very sweet walk home with George and Mary. Jimmy Stewart's dressed up like a fucking leatherhead.

Yeah, I guess because they have to wear stuff that was at the school. Right. Which back then you could just take shit. It's fine. Well, it's an emergency. He's got a big three on his chest in honor of Dale Earnhardt, who was born that day. I don't know. Five boys are running across town all behind a chalkboard.

Dude, no, I didn't just think people are fucking in the locker room. Absolutely. Oh, yeah. Boys and boys, boys and girls, girls and girls, everybody's doing it. At the end of the credits of this film, we should see that pool getting a bunch of chlorine added, like a ton more than usual. Oh, that's the Marvel Stinger scene? Dude, I think that scene, there was a deleted scene for its wonderful life that was directed by Bob Guccione, dude, fucking Caligula shit.

Someone's peering through a fucking little hole in the wall and there's just like rampant fucking going on. That would be a great prank, like recutting it, like they recut colligula or something to add more pornography. Like if they just like, Jimmy Stewart made this movie and they show it to them and then like they're just graphic sex cut in. I don't remember all those juicy cocks in the movie.

They're juicing out. Wow. I'm fucking huge. Got a lot of throbbers in here. Oh my God. I called throbers. What of it? We've officially ruined this movie for everyone.

Try watching this again without thinking about fucking throbbers. It sounds like it could be an old-timey expression. I love it so much. Oh, I got my. throbbing ears working. Watched my trick dick. Hot dick coming through. Yeah, that's when you couldn't get it up, you had a trick dick.

Mother, mother, I have a throbber tonight. We'll send the boys away. Push the beds together. So we wind up, yeah, they're having a very nice walk home. This is the, we're singing Buffalo Girls, wouldn't you come out tonight? And, you know, he's making some moves here. Isn't the Buffalo Girls,

wouldn't you come out tonight's song? Isn't that what Jasper sings on The Simpsons at one point? Possibly. Oh, girls, won't you come out tonight? Come out tonight. When that scene was happening, I was just picturing Jasper from the Simpsons singing. It's also just the same tune as, oh, grandma, she ain't what she used to be. Well, you know, I think back then there was like five songs.

Yes. Like five melodies made up 60 songs. His idea of romancing this woman is like, hey, let's vandalize this fucking house. Fuck those people. It's a town tradition, dude. It's the old ghost house. Right, it's a derelict house. This is when this movie gets really dark because he's like,

oh, you make a wish and you fucking throw at this house. So he makes a wish and it's like, I'm going to see 20 continents and all. That's his big, like, all of your condiments. I'm going to Alpha Centauri. 20 countries. There it is. And she makes a wish and she doesn't tell him what it is. Right.

Later in the movie, she lets him know that they would be married and he stays in town. because what happens later in the scene is all her fault. It's her dark wish comes true. There's a gin in that house. Oh, right to me, will you? All right, Mary, you'll get the man of your dreams, but his dreams will never come true. Mary, I'll grant you your wish,

but wouldn't you also want to see that principal have a heart attack? I guess so. Oh, yes, you want him to... Perfect. Well, no, it is... Yes, you want him to stay in down. Maybe maybe 11th

Is his father a lover's Dr. Yeah, totally There's a gin in that house my friend So right

It's a gin house Right foot No gin tonight Don't have any gin I know your father Told you no gin tonight But one wish

Wouldn't kill you I didn't mean it My throbber rubbed up against a lamp Gin came out Fucking decade ago I asked him If I could have sex

With Edith Wharton And it never heard the end of it said son uh no so this is also it's fucking great because they're like super flirting right here she's wearing like a bathrobe with like the little

the tie on the bathrobe keeps falling or whatever one of my favorite characters of this movie I think he's totally unsung is old pervert on the porch this guy's like hey why don't you just kiss her already and get it off where they're gonna lose my throbber in a minute Take her shirt off. Take her shirt off.

Just kiss your neck a little bit. And the guy's like, Jimmy Stewart's like, what did you say? What do you want me to kiss? Yeah, do it. Worker yams. Help her, George.

Help her. Hey, real quick. All right, I'm going inside. I'm going inside. You kids, youth is waste on the youth, et cetera, et cetera. Quick question, can I see your feet real quick? Before I turn in, can I just see your feet?

Give me a taste. Look at those tutsies. Yeah, that'll give me a couple of weeks. You buy this girl some heels, young man. Some stompers. So there is, this is the famous, Oh, you want the moon, Mary? I'll throw a lash all around and pull it down for you.

Kiefer Sutherland's going to commit suicide in a horse barn. Kirsten Dunst is going to fuck a stranger on a golf course. Who? You know. Oh, also Jimmy Stewart, That dude is talking shit, by the way, he fucking throws out. Oh, I'll show you kissing. That'll put hair on the back of your neck.

Yeah, it's a fucking... Or hair back on your head. Yes, it's a nice bald burn. So he winds up, he steps on a road by accident. It seems by accident. Totally by accident. And her clothes fall off. She goes into the bushes to hide.

And this, oh, it's a very interesting situation. You say accident. I think this was a Roger-Dodger-esque scam. He learned it from his pervert Uncle Billy. Hey, Sam, I y'all, yeah, I did the whole, I did the robe trick again. It worked. I'm three for three on the robe trick. Now, if you want to see the caboose, you just look at your watch and do a little spins.

So she's in the bushes. We're flirting. I don't know if I'm going to give you a robe back. You know, it's all in good fun. Oh, yeah. But her dark wish comes true because this fucking truck comes by and, like, your dad had a stroke right this second. It happened like, I don't know, 30, when did she thought? that rock exactly when that happened

and so yeah we sort of like flash forward again to like a few months later the dad has died from the stroke and Jimmy Stewart and Uncle Billy are in the process of like maybe dissolving this fucking building in loan business and like letting Potter take it over

there's a whole board of directors that has to like make some decision situation yeah and like basically yeah he's giving one last speech to keep it open but he's like but I am as you all know leaving in five fucking minutes. As you all know, I fucking hate your rotten guts each and

every last one of you. And this is where he is, he's now finally primed, he's leaving for college. He's going to go to college, but he has to give one last speech about he stands up for the working man. This is where he's talking about like, you know, these people shouldn't be having to save every single

fucking penny they make in order to save for a place to live. Like, they should have a place to live now. They can fucking invest in our businesses in Bedford Falls. It takes, takes a working man a long time to get $5,000. Even me. And then he starts... Oh, yeah. All these years later.

Well, yeah, we're talking about $5,000. But just it for inflation, what he's talking about is like $80,000. Yeah, something like that. It's like... And it's great because he starts getting in Potter's face right here. He calls him a warped, frustrated old man. I mean, this is all... I mean, like, there's a lot of lessons to learn from this

movie. And I mean, Potter is the embodiment of pure evil. But it's all... always a better plan to not say that kind of stuff. You never know who you're going to need later. Oh, no, I said the loud part quiet, the quiet part loud. Exactly. It's like, you know, Mr. Potter, we have a lot of disagreements, but, you know, in any okay, like, you're a man who, I don't know, knows business good.

All right, I did it. Well, because he just, I mean, he just keeps burning this bridge over. And your dick probably doesn't work at that wheelchair. Wait, all right, that's too far, dude. It's not that. Like, he brings this all on himself because it's not just him. He gets the whole town to get in on it. Everybody's making fun of Potter all over the place.

Well, there's a line that comes up quite a bit in the movie. A bunch of people repeat it about, like, you shouldn't have to do X while also having to crawl to Potter. Get down on your hands and knees and crawled a Potter. So he leaves, he gives this big impassioned speech. He leaves him and Uncle Billy's like, wow, you did a great job. in the boardroom meeting, they make this decision that the only way

the building and loan will stay open is if Jimmy Stewart runs it. Right. Also, here's a question about the office environment at the building and loan. What's with that crow?

Dude, the fucking... I mean, hey, it's a raven, by the raven. Oh, it's a raven. Played by Jimmy the Raven, who is in a bunch of camera movies, apparently. What the fuck?

I have no idea. Yeah, it's me, Jimmy the Raven. I'm worth $10 million. Yeah, Jimmy, I don't know what to tell you. I just really like birds. It's so weird.

But there's like this weird thing where like Uncle Billy likes weird animals, I think. He's like an odd collector. Oh, the rumors are true. Yeah, dude, he lives in a big fucking fish tank. We will talk about the rumors in a little while. But I think it did just like you're trying to like show that this business is going to survive. There's a fucking raven in there waiting to pull the eyes out of your head. Exactly.

He's waiting to pick the bones of this operation clean. I was waiting for him to let it. go eventually and then go out like the old man from Shawshank. That was my dream when I was re-watching it. So of course, Jimmy the Raven, by the way,

Wikipedia entry. Wow, a full page. Wait, hold on. He appeared in more than... Married Gloria Graham. He appeared in... Secretary of the Interior in 1978. What?

He appeared in more than 1,000 feature films. No way. From the 1930s to the 50s. He first appeared in you can't get with you uh he's this he landed on the scarecrow at the wizard of oz this guy worked like a fucking porn star a thousand movies well not it's bird is hollywood royalty does he have a star he better of a star well and then tarentino gave him a bit

part in jackie brown just his feet though those are some hot talons jimmy the raven had 21 standings 15 of which were female who would not who would fill in for him when the scene did not require any tricks or movement. Or if it wasn't a close-up on bird genitalia. Jimmy the Raven received a Red Cross gold medal for 200 hours spent entertaining veterans after the war.

What? Does the Raven go on like USO tours and stuff? And look everyone, it's a raven. Yeah. All right, well, we have to apologize. These strippers aren't coming. But look at this raven's pretty sharp. You can fly in a circle. I'm

Bob Hope. I'm so happy to be here with and I'm going to tell some jokes. It's a real honor to be opening for Jimmy the Raven. Yeah. Did he sing America the beautiful? I don't know what's going on. What's going on?

How did he die? Was it a Hollywood scandal? His pills. No, he, uh, it was mysterious. There were like pills found in his anus. It was actually crazy, dude. He was cut in half and left in a field.

They never solved. No, like everything else, Robert Wagner did it. Oh, my God. He was on the boat, you think? Birds can't fly under water. Go for a swim, Jimmy. It's me, Natalie Wood, Robert Wagner, and Jimmy the Raven. Oh, man, if only, they would have pinned it on Jimmy the Raven.

That's actually true. I will say right now, if he doesn't have a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, let's get a petition going for Jimmy the Raven because you know there's a bunch of weirdo golden age of Hollywood obsessives that would like to fight for that. Just replace Trumps. Oh, yes, with Jimmy the Raven. Exactly.

The only thing they say here, he has his footprints and shined in cement at a large Los Angeles pet store alongside Lassie and other Hollywood animal stars. So that's nice. I can't believe there's that much to come out of the fucking bird in the office in this movie. Don't worry

about it, man. Was there another, like, was there a sequel to Jimmy the Raven also called Jimmy the Raven? Because for Lassie, right? There was like four of those 10 Lassies. Yeah, a lot of Lassies. Bullshit, dude. Pick a different name. So, we kind of flash forward. He sends

Harry off to college with the money that he would have sent. Right. He becomes a football star, you know? Oh, he's fucking fucking fucking and suck until the sun comes up. Don't worry about it. He's having a great time. He comes back married and it's, and like, even No one is invited to this fucking wedding? Exactly.

This guy sent you to fucking college. He's just joking around. He's like, What do you tell somebody next time? No, I think... Go ahead. The wedding might have involved a shotgun. Oh, he got into trouble in college, you think, Chris? A little bit of trouble?

Well, he's going to go work at a glass factory in Rochester, which is exactly what something like Matt Dillon in the house that Jackbilt would do for a life when he was covering up his other crimes. We're going to get into this fucking glass factory horses shit. But it's a thing where... There's two things. One, I think there is a high probability that Chris is correct. But also, I think another thing is the wedding massive industry that we know it as they didn't really exist.

And it's like, oh, you got married? That's cool. Yeah, well, because you didn't have to fucking spend a, oh, thank God we didn't have to fucking shell out for this. Thank you so much. I guess eloping was more of a thing. But like, I don't know, I think you should let your close family know. Especially your brother who's literally holding a bag for you before you. four years.

Yeah, you're right. So he comes back. This is all at the train station. It's a really nice shot. It's also really awkward, though, because Jimmy Stewart is just like, oh, that's right, Uncle Billy. He's going to come back here.

He's going to take over the building and lawn. I got a good job for him set up. And then fucking, finally, I can enter higher education. I'm 29 years old. I can step foot out of fucking Bedford God damn falls. And he's constantly telling people like, just like oh yeah well you know most of my friends have they've finished college already so I'm I've got and like I cannot I cannot imagine having the like bottomless well of positivity and forward

thinking that George Bailey has it's like Ned Flanders I mean he has that scene where it's him and Aunt Peru and Uncle Owen and they're drinking blue milk right well I want to most of my friends have gone to the academy already Uncle Owen can I can I go he's like well just Well, it's just one more year. Harvest is what I need to the most. Speaking of that, we did a whole episode on Star Wars on Patreon.com slash we hate movies that you can find right now for $5 and you get a ton of extra awesome stuff.

We're doing a bunch of remakes of It's a Wonderful Life. Like, Back to the Future borrows heavily from this. Well, Back to the Future, too. Both of them. That grave scene from Back to the Future, too, is in this movie. Yeah. No, I'm saying. Well, that's also like a...

The majority of... Back to the Future to all of alternate 1985 is potter's face. That entire thing. Also 2018 and 2019. Real life. So, but he meets

his wife and his wife is like, oh yes, we love Harry. My father loves him even more. He got this great job at Glass Factory. Oh, hold up a second, Blondie. What the fuck do you say about a glass factory? Who's my brother blowing? Glass? And she's

like, it's going to be great. And then Harry comes up, just, no, no, no, George. I haven't said yes to anything yet, which is a hoars shit. Oh, yeah. He's, Harry, you fucking snake. Well, that's, you know what? He can have this conversation with him, but it better be in fucking private. And you better be ready for a four-hour conversation.

Not just like, hey, I'm at the train station. Guess what? I got a job, buddy. But it's also like, not for nothing. Are you kidding me? I mean, like, if he's like, look, you know, George, I know you been holding the bag. I know he had an agreement, but I literally. really just the New York Giants

or whatever the fuck just I'm a football star it's an opportunity I can't turn down or like I've got to do this crazy thing like it's a million dollars it's a fucking job at a glass factory get out of here doing research into what? We figured it out

it's glass we did it we did it. Harry did you figure out if those shards were sharp we must do research into the glass factory because the only man who had the recipe for blowing the glass died and he didn't tell

anyone about it. A lesser known Herzog film called The Heart of a Glass. It's a good one. That's the plot of that film. It's entirely of Renner Herzog singing the Blondie song. It's really, he's going to be a real hot shot done at the Glass factory. What the fuck are you doing?

I don't know, maybe glass futures were big back then. She even says like it's not that much money now, but it could be big at a couple of years. Right, like he's got room to move. Is he a war veteran already now? No, no, that's next. Okay, the war hero portion of the film, everyone.

Yeah, so he winds up, he winds up, you know, it's like, okay, fine, I guess I, and, you know, he gets kind of guilted into it. He's like, well, this is what my brother wants to do, you know what I mean? I guess I will yet again put my dreams, not even on hold on, though, just pretty much could put them. I will, I will erase them. He kind of becomes bitter at this point, obviously. Right. Well, right after. It's been a fucking decade, by the way.

Dude, he becomes bitter and drunk right here. only after at the last second organizing a fucking wedding reception they're having a party at the house at the Bailey house he's like oh we gotta throw you a big fucking party now I guess well whoopty fuck would you like me to lay on the floor

you could walk over my back I want you have another fucking Charleston contest on my fucking jack piss on my face Harry oh you need to cut the cake you can take the knife out of my shoulder blade you fuck seriously

I mean, like, yeah, Harry is one of the world's biggest fucking pieces of shit. So, like, we're having this party. His mother, George's mother comes up to say, you know, that Mary, whatever her maiden name is, is asking for you. You know, you should go over there, call on her, you know. This is one of those moments where I'm like, holy fuck, are you really doing this? So they're having this conversation. Hatch, by the way, is the maiden name. Gotcha.

Mary Hatch. So Jimmy Stewart is like sarcastically saying, Oh, yeah, mother. I'm going to go out for a night of passionate necking, which is like telling your mother you're going to do anal tonight at the time. Like, Jesus. And I ain't going to wrap it up. What will be, will be.

I was actually shocked because he sends Uncle Billy off and he's like, yeah, he puts his hat on. It's a fun, like, drunk Uncle Billy, because this guy's a full-blown fucking three-bottle a day alcoholic. Oh, absolutely. And he goes up. I thought he was getting into the car, but he's like he's just walking. Did you read the thing about this, though?

Because, like, the shot is, we're outside of the Bailey house. And he's like, oh, you're going to walk that way, Uncle Billy. You fucking burn into us all. Good night. And I guess we're... Hey, the bridge is that way. Somebody on the set, like, a prop master or something knocked a bunch of shit over. And there was a huge sound that got picked up on the microphone.

And Jimmy Stewart starts laughing. The guy playing Uncle Billy had the foresight to try to save the take to say, like, all right, I'm okay. Yeah. And Capra left the whole thing in. Now, now, Billy, don't you, don't you get your crow drunk again? Don't you do it again? You hear me, Billy?

Micro likes beer. Look, oh, Uncle Billy. Like a little creep ass. So he winds up calling on Mary Hatch, um, at his mom's behest. He is drunk at this point, right? He's wasted, but also he just wanders, because there's a weird thing where he's like, I'm going to walk that way. And she's like, Mary's house is this way.

Yeah. Fuck you. you're meddling bitch. Because he bumps into Violet. Oh my God. And he is ready to go and she is ready to go at first until he lets it go. Take your shoes off and go barefoot in the field. And she is disgusted by this.

Oh, my God. Not only is she disgusted by it. The entire town stopped to listen to him trying to pick up this girl. And they're laughing at him. Hold on. He interrupts a three. some that was about to have it's insane though dude because these two guys

are like talking to Violet and then like she goes to say how to Jimmy Stewart and the guy's like are you fucking kidding me and the older dude is just like no no no I've seen this a hundred times just hang out she'll be back no no no he's probably going to say something about walking barefoot up a hill she's going to get disgusted and walk

away while the whole town laughs at him then when she comes back Eiffel Tower time yes ready for that high five bud it's disgusted Like, why would you fucking have that? Like, that's, I'm sorry, this is not a Christmas film. Oh, hi, Vaugh, can I see your touchies for a while?

Oh, yeah, I just want to look at your wet feet in the snow. I guess in defense of, of what they would say, it's like, oh, she had suitors lined up. And, you know, they weren't actually about to go to, you know. Yeah. But, yeah, I guess it's. the subtext. Right. In any event, he does wind up wandering over to Mary's house. He's wasted. He's bitter. He's tired. His brother just fucking literally ruined his wonderful life again for the second time. And, you know, he calls on her and Mary is, I mean, this is all. She's yelling at him

out the window. She is. She calls him in. And I mean, because this girl is fucking thirsty. And also, this is a defense for why anyone should have sex in college. You shouldn't be holding on to like some night you had with some guy forward. years ago. That's why you go to college and figure shit out. You get a couple of boyfriends. Stop the thirst. Get quenched. You get a couple of boyfriends under your belt. Then you figure yourself out there in the process.

But no, she's like, she puts on the fucking album, Buffalo Girls, would you come out tonight? She's got a sign that says George Bailey's going to lasso the moon. This lady's fucking nuts at this point. It's the movie, the loved ones, if anybody's seen it, which is great. But, yeah, it's creepy. It's like a whatever happened to baby Jane type situation

where she's just obsessed with the past it's really really weird surprised you didn't come in with caked up makeup all over her face

and weird lipstick I was in a three stooges short once so she winds up she like is laying it on real thick he's not having it

because he's drunk and he's angry I guess Sam Wainwright is also kind trying to get in there a little bit well this was the thing because this part

in particular Sam Ray and Wynwright is the five of Loudoun Wynwright, the third. Right, of course. Sam Wainwright is trying to get into everything. Yeah. Whatever he can get.

This reminded me a lot of a very similar film in the sense that it's not a Christmas movie, but a second of it takes place at Christmas so people watch it at Christmas, which is Meet Me in St. Louis. And there's a very similar scene where it's like, you know, they're yelling at what's her face, Judy Garland. They're like, you know, oh, you got to fucking hang by the phone, man. because he's going to be calling you from college. So you got to spend your whole night.

Just waiting for some dweeb to call you on the phone because it's going to cost $37,000 to make this phone call. And her mom is like, you know, saying, Wainwright's going to call you. You know what about to find with these meddling parents. It's disgusting. Wainwright calls. And like, it's this weird thing.

Like, Stuart's about to leave. Because, like, all right, Wainwright's calling, whatever. Yeah. And she's, like, trying to make him jealous for a second. And then, like, Wayne Wright's like, Oh, my buddy George is there. Put him on the phone. He-ha, by the way.

Did I say he-haw yet? I've been on the phone for 20 seconds. I've got to say my catchphrase. Did your mother hear the he-hawn? Maybe get her down here and I'll he-haw again for her. I mean, thank God that guy got rich. That's the only way he was ever going to get laid. Yeah, absolutely paying for it.

So he's, I mean, it's weird. It's a scene that kind of makes sense, but it's very weird where like Sam is trying to get them both to get in on his plastics idea. Right. But as they're doing it, they're falling in love. Well, because it's a proximity situation. Again, because the fucking horny barometer is exploding at this point. So it's like, oh my

God, because he wants the... Oh, my whiskey dick is wearing off. Hold on. Got myself a throbber going on. Oh, wow, a surprise throbber. I thought I was done for the night. Because, like, he's like, I want you both to hear this proposal, so they have to get next to the telephone receiver.

And yeah, it's like a proximity thing. Like, they're just there. He's smelling her. Yeah, sure. You know, she's probably got some nice perfume on. And it's just like that. And she's digging it. Oh, yeah. And they're ready to go.

Right before this, Donna Reed and the mother have a fucking hilarious exchange where the mother is at the top of the stairs and she's like, who's down? Mary, who's down there? And she goes, it's George Bailey, mother. He's making violent love to me. The fact that this old woman doesn't throw up down the staircase was very surprising. Doesn't set the house on fire. Oh, I've had violent love.

It was with the Kaiser. He used that hat. Oh, the passion. Merry Christmas, by the way. Yeah, absolutely. So they wind up, they get married because they like each other. And he's like 25. She's about now 22, which is very close.

Dodge that bullet. She was a year away for being an old maid. So she... She's going to be wearing a wig made out of cobwebs in another week. So she... They get married, and again, here we go. We are about to go on our honeymoon. We're fucking thrilled.

Ernie the cab driver is going to take us out of town. They've got $2,000 in the fucking kitty, by the way. That's like $18 million. I mean, look, I really feel like this is a Truman show situation. If Jimmy Stewart, like, gets in a boat, he's going to hit the edge of it. It's going to break through the sense. Ed Harris is just like, oh, George Bailey, I've watched you your whole life. And if I don't see you later, good afternoon, good evening, and good night.

Cue the moon. She about he's like, ha, you sure? Oh, shit. Oh, but I like this guy. He seems like, oh, shit. So, no, they're about to leave. You know, they're about to get to the train stations. They had a beautiful wedding.

They're madly in love. They're going to give him in New York. They're London and all sorts of great cool shit. And, of course. Wait a second. I'm sorry. Because inflation fascinates me. Oh, yeah, of course.

Oh, yeah, it's crazy. $2,000 in 1946 in 2017, $25,534. What? Yep. This is the take that they got from their wedding. When Uncle Billy later in the film loses $8,000 in today's money I read on the train this morning, that it's $110,000. Yeah, that dude should be in jail.

He absolutely should. That is insane. Anyway, sorry. And they should murder Potter, obviously. Oh, absolutely. The Great Depression is just about to hit, I guess, is the idea. And, like, everyone is rushing to the bank to the building and loan to pull their money out. Right.

And, like, Jimmy Stewart's, like, fucking work. It's like, you're about to go and you're an idiot. You check your work email real quick. Yep. And you got, like, three exclamation points. And you got to be like, all right, I got to deal with this. And Mary knows the score, though. She's like, please don't.

Please don't go back there. Just get back in the cab. Get back in the fucking cab, but let's enjoy ourselves. We're fucking once in our goddamn lives. Let's just go on this. trip I want to know every nook and cranny of your fucking body every last

you want a nook of my throbber I want to know if this town has an exit that's what I want to know is there a way out of this town only Harry knows it it's like a tunnel system or something I'm sure Harry was too fucking busy to go to the wedding by the way oh sorry glass factory's got me real busy the cab driver has a

creptacular line right here did you catch this Ernie himself dude he's got a line right here, because they get in the cab, it says just married, they're in the back kind of canoodling or whatever, and she's like, here's how we're going to spend this fucking $2,000 George Bailey, you're going to have enough throbbers

to last a lifetime, or like, whatever they're saying. This dude says, he's looking in the mirror at them, and he goes, if either of you two see a stranger around here, it's me. And then he says,

some nights I clean off the blood, some nights I clean off the ignore the camera folks it's just there for for security reasons one day a real rain will come and wash the scum off the streets of bedford falls yes uh so they're doing a run on the bank they call it when everyone's trying to get out uh jimmy stuick goes in there and this is the famous oh your money's not here it's a tom's house and bill's house this is also it's a weird this is happening at the same time potter is staging a coup in where he's taken over the bank Yeah. How is this a thing? How do you buy a bank?

Oh, they do it all the time. Ask Jeff Bezos, dude. Did he buy a bank? No, but he bought a newspaper. He bought a, he bought a, he bought a, he bought New York. So I mean, like, you can just do what you want. If you have enough money, you could buy something. It's just so insane. Also, I don't know how like things like the stock market works. So it's, you know, whatever. He was also like, oh, because he calls them up at his thing that's like, hey, look, you know, if any of your people want their money back, they can come over to me and I'll give them 50 cents on the dollar for it. fucking savage deal. And fucking Potter is like, oh, do you want me to send some cops over to your place? I'm like, dude, you got the cops in your pocket? Kid, I own the police. Absolutely.

You know what, Potter? You're nothing but an old fucking piece of shit. You suck shit, Potter. You suck shit in your ugly mouth. He says something like, you know, because mobs can get pretty out of hand, Mr. Bailey. He hangs up on him and

like the idea is that they can stay open the whole day that'll all work out or some nonsense. I mean, right, because like the bank will reopen next week, so presumably it's Friday night or so. Oh, yeah, I guess you're saying. So they just have to stay up to open five or it'll six rather. So they're doing that and they like, this is the thing

where it's like, all right, and of course Donna Reed's like, well, we do have this $2,000. This is insane. It's so insane. And she's like, oh, great idea. So it's like, who wants what to, what will get you through the next week before the bank opens because Venmo doesn't exist

just yet. I can't really. Not just yet. No one has debit card. So like literally if the bank closes your money is gone. This is why like man cash. What a pointless thing. So is. In any event he starts giving out all this money and like they you know he gives away all of his money. They have $2 left. He goes. Oh God. This is the saddest thing. Ernie and Bert the cop are like oh hey dude you want to come back to your house. What house? And like earlier in the movie Donna Reed had said like oh i love that old house the house that's on rocks that like i would it's my dream to live there they go to this fucking dilapidated fucking the fucking insane asylum these people have now hung um like travel posters and stuff on yeah in every window they and just to make it seem like

they're going somewhere even though they're not and they never will do you talk about a haunted honeymoon this is fucking great this is like a fight club house it is fucking water pouring in and every nook and cranny is just disgusting. But the worst, the worst of it all is fucking George and Mary are about the bone. Yeah, totally. And fucking we cut and Bert and Ernie are outside singing some pericomo horse shit. And I'm like,

these people are trying to fuck to this buddy. Like you should, you'd be better off doing, you know, my neck, my back, my pussy and my crack. Well,

That's when Eric got married, we all hung outside of his hotel. When Eric lost his virginity right after he got married, we all hung outside. Obviously, I saved myself until marriage. Yeah, of course. Everyone did. As did I. I actually got married last month. I finally lost my virginity.

It's really fantastic. Congratulations. It was fantastic. We all sang out. We did a little barbershop quartet because, A, we wanted to make it romantic for him, and B, we wanted to hear it. I mean, we're just buddies. We want to hear it.

I can't get a throbber without hearing of it. Let me see that thong, thong, thong. I just can't imagine. Guys, I'm popping a tent already. Just stop. Like, your hometown pitching in to get you wet. But also, the funny thing is I think the idea is like Ernie, the cab driver's there to drive him.

But Bert, the cop was there to fucking clean that house out of vagrants. He came in. with a fucking nightstick and it was like Moving along This is George Bailey's house What I live here What do you got this?

George Bailey No someone else is trespassing and having sex in here tonight Move along The cop is like fucking shoeing a bunch of raccoons out of the living room So they stay

They clearly they had sex They have to have a million kids At this point Absolutely At what point does Potter offer him a job It's kind of around it's it's pretty much right around here yeah i don't know if it's another time jump or whatever if you no he doesn't have kids yet it's like that's right this is when they build a bailey field or

bailey whatever bailey park he's yeah he starts being like kind of successful like taking the show out on the road a little bit like developing this like affordable housing for people he's selling his houses to italians of all people what what yes it's a miss this we meet mr martini and they're giving a whole like speech like it's really nice like donna reads like this bread will for your family. This salt will always give your life flavor and this wine. Yeah, which is very nice. And it's on this, it's on Martini's daughter's wedding day, so he can't refuse anybody. That's absolutely right. So he, George Bailey asks Martini to strangle Mr. Potter with piano wire. Luca Brat. Oh, Luca Bracci. Come on, Luca.

Don Bailey. I am a very all I do. be attending this the day of your daughter's wedding. Oh, God. Oh, God, you know what? Get the Russians. They cut throats in fucking barbershops. As good as we do, honestly,

just fucking do it. This is a fucked up part, though, because while they're, like, doing this whole ceremony or whatever for the martini family, who rolls up? Fucking, but, fucking, beep, beep, Mr. He-Haw. And he's, like, a bajillionaire.

And this is kind of like a gray matter situation. Why? Because it's like George Bailey is Walter White. Oh, yeah. And he's like, no, no, I don't want to get involved in your fucking plastics, gray matters situation. Motherfucker, get out of here with that scam.

And here he comes like, oh, cool, that's pretty quaint, George. You're helping Italians find housing. I just made $25 million last year. Bye. They're like going to go on their own trip. But he's like, oh, EO, EO, you fucking piece of shit. God, I fucking hate that guy. I hope the goddamn car goes off a goddamn bridge.

Oh, he's better go to that house and throw some rocks. I better go home and throw rocks at my house. So Potter invites him over for a meeting, and it's like, listen, you've beaten me, George Bailey. Everyone in the town hates me at that point. Mission accomplished. He's like, I'm an old man, and most people hate me. You got to hand it to Potter, though, man. This guy doesn't give a fuck about anything.

You could like take a bunch of shit and smear it on Potter's window and he'd be like, well, whatever, I'm still worth a hundred times you. And he's like, well, you know, what do you make, Bailey, $50? He's like, 45. And, uh, get your details right, Potter. And basically that, that's a couple of 20 grand. Well, what if I were to give you a job working for $20,000 a year, which is $250,000 a year? Take it. Just take it.

Just take it, dude. Just take it. Sorry. Dude, sink it from the inside. That's exactly right, dude. Just be a horrible employee. And also, like, you know, Potter doesn't have anybody. Maybe he turns the reins over to you when he dies, which, I mean.

Which you could, you know where the poison pills are kept at the druggists. Get Gower involved in there. Get a little bit gower. Come on, Mr. Trouwer, come on. You always hated Mr. Potter, right? The whole fucking town does. Oh, I got a nice big cup of tea for you, Mr. Potter.

Have one of your new kids. Send it over. be fine the new boy so he turns it down it's like oh it's funny he's about to do and he's like oh I got to talk to my wife he shakes his hand and he's like this is fucking disgusting

this old fucking snake and then he gives another speech about what a piece of shit you're a spider oh right yeah oh it's so great though because like the look he's like physically disgusted

that he touched this person Mr. Potter you suck shit through a straw he goes home to tell Mary all about it Mary's like, guess what, I'm pregnant? And then we cut to, now we're cutting to Christmas Eve, right? No, no, no. This is the war.

Oh, the war is about, see, that's what I'm talking about. This isn't a Christmas movie. But quick thing about this bedroom scene. Uh-huh. So, like, he spends this, like, time with Mr. Potter or whatever. It's late at night when he gets home. Yeah. Donna Reed is already asleep.

And he's, like, taking off his 19-piece suit, thinking about the offer that Mr. Potter gave. And then all of a sudden, quietly from the bay. you hear the signal Buffalo girl won't you come out tonight like she's pretending to be asleep but then it's like hey I'm singing our song let's get fucking it's a classic

you up so wait is the is the buffalo gal is his penis no it's just the sign oh like if you when you hear that song you better get your hot throbber ready so it's not a direction or anything no no it's just like when you hear that tune I'm ready

to go okay and also guess what I'm praying so now I can't get pregnant again. Let's go for it, man. Let's do it like right. No time like the present. I mean, you just burned down all the bridges, so let's go and do it. And I do love, but this movie,

because it's in 1946, we said this was? When it came out. Yeah. So it's like, the war, of course you have to have like a long war sequence about, and everyone pitched it like Ernie the cab driver and did this and Bert the cop did that. There's like a montage of like this whole town came together.

The cop ran an internment camp with all sorts of the, everyone's a hero. George Bailey was declared 4F, but just to make a moment. sure he got out of the war. For some reason, he declared allegiance to Germany. Really sealed the deal on that one. He started something called

the boot camps. I should have wanted to travel, not die. And he becomes, well, George, like, it's a weird thing where it's like, even though George Bailey couldn't serve in the war, he did his part. He, like, becomes an air raid warden, and he's organizing all of these like rubber drives and plastic drives, but the

fucking crazy thing is they say that Mr. Potter became the head of the draft board in town? And he's like, One A. One A. I will send you to die. Oh, you You're gone. You you're going right to the front lines.

Oh, the Koch brothers are going to draft us in a something by the end of this shit, dude. Oh, probably. The robot wars, dude. You called me a pig monster. His laundry list of people who have insulted him or crossed him over the years? My son is eight years old.

one a his kickbar came into my backyard one a meanwhile he's also selling machine parts to Germany absolutely oh well my coffee's a little cold

one a but so of course Harry Bailey is this like ace fighter pilot he saves a ship full of people at one point that's about to get bombed and now we're on Christmas He's about, he just gets

the Congressional Medal of Honor. And George isn't even fucking invited. His mother goes, which is fine, but like, can I just, hey, Mr. Truman, can I have my brother come to, please, is possible? I have literally two people in my family. No, no, no, fuck Uncle Billy. I have two people in my family.

Dude, Uncle Billy, my ass. Dude, it's one of those things where it's like, don't, you know what, don't even bother trying to get a seat for Uncle Billy. He's not going to even remember it. It's going to be a waste of a seat. Leave him at home. Or kill him. the Truman show thing is like real

or like he just can't leave that town. Right. Yeah. It's just stops. It's physically he can't like he can't he doesn't even takes a weekend. It's never like oh we did a weekend down and even Shenneka Falls or something. You know what I mean? Anything. We went to go and see Niagara. Exactly. Do

something. I started buying cocaine free from the pharmacy. Oh yeah definitely. Definitely. You can just buy cocaine from the heroin. You can fucking load up on heroin at the time. Maybe that's how Gower stayed alive, man. He kept himself fucking neat.

Oh, he's just fucking pickled like Shane McGowan. Oh, grandson, you got me a fruit cake. One A. The war is over, Mr. Potter. One A. So with less than an hour left in the movie,

we finally get to Christmas Eve. It's Christmas Eve and Uncle Billy is being an asshole. Again, Uncle Billy's got eight thousand. Why you would ever there's eight grand we have to deposit by the end of the day. Why it, there's three fucking people

four people in that office, including George Bailey. And the fucking crow. I would give it, I would so give it to Jimmy the Raven. Oh, Raven, excuse me. But like, he's like, why you would give eight grand to Uncle Billy to deposit? I have no fucking clue. Who is that woman? What's that other little mousy guy?

Eustis or whatever that guy's name is? It's not just $8,000. You know, $110,000 in the day's money. Right, you're right. And he's just walking around with it And he's filling out the deposit slip And Mr. Potter comes in And he's got the newspaper

He's like, you see that Mr. Potter? The Bailey boys did all right And he's like he has to be a little fucking asshole about it He's wasted already He knows, he sent them there Exactly, everyone knows In any event he winds up In this kerfuffle

He creates Uncle Billy Creates his entire situation And he gives Potter the paper But while he gives him the newspaper He wraps up the envelope with the money and now Potter has the money and he goes to the fucking teller window like well it looks like you're forgetting

something Uncle Billy that money and he goes and this movie should be about Uncle Billy immediately committing suicide absolutely if anyone's on the bridge it should be Uncle fucking Billy

without a doubt it should be that SNL sketch where they go and fucking kill Potter fuck this guy who gives the shit Bert's your friend the police will cover it up this is what's insane though is Uncle Billy's so fucking stupid

he doesn't even recall. Like, Jimmy Stewart has taken me. He's like, all right, we're going to retrace your steps, you're fucking old son of a bitch. Oh, this is the best part of me because Jimmy Stewart has had it with Uncle Billy. So frustrated. The bank examiner is there,

and like it's the worst possible time. But never in this like retracing of the steps does Uncle Billy say, oh, and by the way, when I was in the lobby of the bank, I talk shit to Mr. Potter's face for 10 minutes. He doesn't mention anything about interacting with Potter. We didn't even bring up this fact.

On top of all, this shit, the baby Uncle Billy, he's got four kids in the era of two years. Oh, yeah. All within that, I mean, it is fucking nuts. It's Irish quadruplets, my friend. Absolutely. She didn't get a fucking break. They were filling out a fucking punch card at the hospital.

It was, his name is George Bailey. I mean, come on. Yep. Yes. And like, he's like, you stupid ass. He's like really giving it to Uncle Billy. And like, Uncle Billy is despondent. this point where's the money you silly stupid old fool which is like you piece of shit fucking

fuck brain idiot i should have fucking killed you when i had the chance this is also big important detail here with jimmy stewart's like so excited that it's like fucking christmasy or whatever when he walks in the office violet is there yeah gloria graham and he she's like oh can i talk to you for a minute george and like they go in his office she gives him this whole fucking sob story about wanting to get out this motherfucker gives her money that he doesn't have that he doesn't have it's like money

like something with the building and loan but then also just literally money out of his wallet exactly no violet this is a loan it's a fucking loan god damn it you know what a loan means don't you well I mean that's sort of the implication that's what everybody's thinking when he comes out she kisses him on the cheek and he's got lipstick on there so it's like we know what that means but also

this is the other part of Uncle Billy like uncle billy kind of goes away for the rest of the movie until the end so uncle like he yells at uncle billy in his fucking flop house and he's like you fucking idiot and he leaves bankruptcy scandal and prison and he's like i'm not going to jail billy it's gonna be you which is absolutely correct yeah oh yeah and like this squirrel comes out of nowhere and hugs him did you see this scene squirrel there's a squirrel because uncle billy's like an exotic animal asshole he's got a squirrel in his house the squirrel gives him a hug at the end of the scene how you how you train a squirrel to do this. How many squirrels died on the set of It's a Wonderful Life? More important question, dude. How many screen credds does this squirrel have? That's true. Timmy the squirrel? Also, how many

different kinds of animal shit are just caking his office? Please tell me. It's a hoarder's house. It's a hoarder's house. Uncle Billy, God damn it, you got to keep that office door closed. Oh, the feces smells ruining the business. Can I walk into your office just one time and not have the floor be sticky?

Billy, you talk to me. so he's despondent he's fucking furious he goes home this is a rough scene it is a rough he's not having any of it no his son his oldest son there is like asking for definition he's like i'm not a goddamn dictionary that's awful the other the little one of the little girls is playing the piano she's practicing for their big party he fucking flips out on that must you play that song he's pissed off uh the the youngest daughter zuzu uh is up stairs in bed with a cold. He

fucking loses it on the teacher over the phone. Oh, I love that. Gets in the fucking fight with the teacher's husband on the phone. If you think you're mad enough, you come over here and try it. You try it, hot shot. There's also a great recurring gag in this movie that

is a great ref in Christmas vacation where the little knob on the railing keeps falling off and then Christmas vacation Chevy Chase takes the chainsaw to it, which is fucking funny fix the new post um and yeah he it's his whole thing like he's losing it he's like why much we live in this drafty ramshackle piece of shit house oh yeah dude he's taking it to this house hard um and he like he's got some like model display he destroys it and he leaves to go to

have some drinks of martinis which you know that's that's a good enough you gotta go to the watering hole after that dude there's nothing left but the watering hole this is when the the teacher's husband knocks him out knocks his block off a little bit here all right he's like wait did you say you're George Bailey, stand up for a second so I could slug you. He kind of looks like the fucking killer and I know what you did last summer. He's wearing this flicker. He's got a square jaw.

My son died last year. I got this letter. I got the letter from the bank. I know what you did last summer. What? You junked you ran over my son. You get over here right now.

George Bailey is bleeding. He's like, he decides he that's oh no i'm sorry he goes to mr potter yes this is a crucial scene he goes to potter and he's like hey potter look i'm in a real fucking jam here what'll it take to get me out of this jam he's like well mr bailey i i remember on numerous occasions you said that i suck shit threw a straw you said i guess i can't give you any money i'm too busy sucking shit i couldn't possibly write a check right now what was the shit sucking oh and what's

that i couldn't possibly write you a check for eight thousand dollars with what's that? Let me check my notes real quick. That's right. My broken wheelchair dick. Well, how can I do anything now? You just telling me I'm cancelled. I'm canceled, mister. That's the scene and he's basically like, he even says like all over town. They know about you and Violet. That's going to get back to you. That's fucked up. And also a crucial line that I think plants the seed in Bailey's head right here is Potter is going over the financials and he's like, well, apparently the payout on your. life insurance claim in the event of a suicide or not that he doesn't have suicide potter's like the payout on your life insurance is this much money which is more than you are actually worth and he's like so technically mr bailey you're worth more dead than alive if you would just get out of the way the rest of us could live happily get it tattooed on your forehead mr bailey the bums lost all right bailey you are to $8,000, you'll get $8,000 but you've got to go on the radio

and say that you suck shit. I want to hear it. I'll suck your neck. Don't just tell me. Tell me what you want me to fuck. And Potter fucking calls the cops on him too. Yeah. He's like, well, the police will be looking for you, Mr. Bailey. So they leave.

He goes, this is when he goes to the bridge and he's got this life insurance policy in his pocket. Bleeding from the mouth because that dude socked him in the bar. I don't know, like, suicide can't work with a life insurance policy, right? That must make it null-in-void. I think it depends upon what plan you have. And also, I think, probably make it look like an accident.

Burt would, like, help cover it up, I think. Oh, I see. Like, oh, no, he slipped. Yeah, totally. It was an accident. Yeah. He loved bridge watching. At this point, Clarence is back in the movie.

Welcome back to the movie, Clarence. Yeah. Jumps in the water. Well, because the film, after an hour and 40 minutes, finally fucking catches up to where we started. And he jumps off a bridge. He jumps off the bridge so Bailey goes to save him

because Bailey's a good guy. And in doing so, they're in this like night watchman's house or something. And now his other ear is a trick here. And now he's just deaf. Well, I also love in this movie that Violet gets a cold because her coat was open of like, you don't know shit about science, everybody.

That's just the way it was back. man like if you even just went outside at a certain temperature you're getting a cold you're gonna get oh that's a cold mister oh you didn't pray today that's why you have cancer so this is when he kind of reveals that he's an angel and blah blah blah is there a weird thing here where this bridgekeeper's looking at clarence and he's shocked about the genital situation oh i don't think it's about because it's a bump down there because it's yeah exactly because like clarence says something about like oh unfortunately this is the underwear i was wearing when i died or like whatever it is and this bridgekeeper's like oh I think it's more about the antiquated underwear because he's a Mark Twain contemporary. The bump comes with the wings. Oh, right. So your ghost dick doesn't fall off until you get your wife. I'm a second-class angel.

I've still got my cock. Clarence Oddbody, by the way, is his last name. Oh, maybe that's what, yeah. Maybe it's just fucking weird down there. Oh, it was something I got in the Civil War. They called me Oddbody. Yeah, Clarence's second is doing quite well down there. So, yeah, this is what he said, well, you know, I wish I was never born.

Right. I mean, who hasn't? I think about that. Every fucking day I wish I wasn't born. Dude, where are the angels coming for you, Eric? I would, listen, I would not affect anyone. Just take me. You don't know?

That's what Jimmy thought. Well, he's a pillar of the community. No one knows who I, no one gives a fuck. Yeah, I mean, honestly, if birth the cops said, I wish I was never born, nothing. You would just disappear There'd be a couple of more people on the street Clarence is just like, okay Well, because fucking God didn't hear it from the crowd

For Bert That's true. Nobody had a letter writing campaign That really made a difference. Nobody called their senator So, their celestial senator. They wind up They go back to martinis. Yeah, he's like, well, well done, Mr. Bailey.

It's a very twilight zone Like a little blink noise. Yeah. They go to martini's, but it's actually run by his bartender Nick and now it's Nick's joint right and Nick's an asshole man Nick's a bit of a surly dick Nick asshole

Nick is fucking employing Vigo Mortensen from Green Book like this is it's a mafia fucking hangout there's no two ways about it yeah and there's this whole thing about like you know Stewart's like give me a double bourbon and then like Clarence he's like let me get a flaming well

it's not hot enough for that mold wine he ends up which is the thing I love mold wine, unless you're at a place that on a menu specifies they have mold wine. Fuck you, Clarence. This bar is a house. Yes. Of course it is. That is not a place for mold wine, rum punches, sake, or anything else.

Right, and that's what Nick specifies. Sake, who'd you fight for in the war? He's totally like, listen, mister, this is where a place where white people to go to drink fucking dirty ass liquor and get fucked up. None of your mold wine. here, Troublemaker. Yeah, he keeps calling him Troublemaker very specifically. And then he calls him Pixies. I think the drink order to. Yeah, there's this whole like anti-gay angle that comes out of nowhere. Yeah, it's just very much. I get these, get these pixies out of my bar. They get kicked out. Look here, you do. We got moonshine and fancy moonshine. That's it. Well, this is a

fucked up part, though, because before they get kicked out, Mr. Gower walks into the bar. Oh, yes. he's just like he is a crippling drunk now he's Shane McGowan he's a he's like a homeless person here he's homeless they're like uh say something like hey there rummy come here and then like he gets fucking sprayed in the face with soda water biggest laugh of the night in my house holy fuck was that funny but also because he did 20 years for killing that kid all that all that time ago which he should have anyway and it's fucked up though because jimmy stewart goes out to him he's like oh Mr. Gower, what how? It's Mr. Gower, everybody. And then Nick is like, hey man, that guy did fucking 20 years for killing a kid. Would you meet him in the joint? Which is the highest

sentence for a white man at the time. Oh, absolutely. So they get, they both get kicked out. And I mean, like, the good thing, not the good thing, not the only good thing about this movie. I mean, what's interesting about this movie is like, A, like this whole like alternate timeline is very small, but also like, Stuart gets to it really quickly. He figured, like, in some of these movies, like where it's an altered a timeline there's a ghost. Like, sometimes it takes too long for the character to figure it the fuck out. Right. Like, he starts getting clues right

away, though, because he's like, oh, my earworks all of a sudden. That's right. The daughter Zuzu has given him, like, flower petals that aren't in his pocket anymore, Zuzu pedals. By the way, the Ford Failing character. That's it. Yep. How about that? Wow, if this movie was never born,

Ford Fairline wouldn't have that. But it's awesome, though, dude, this, this scene where he's running down the main street in Bedford Falls, which is now Pottersville. There's a fucking sign that says Potter'sville. I'm going to tell you, man, I would rather go to Pottersville in Bedford Falls. Of course, there's gambling, porno theater, there's girly shows, man. Come on.

It looks like a happen in town, dude. No. Your fucking shitty uncles in an insane asylum? Oh, that's the best line. They're like, oh, yeah, your fucking uncle is in the bug house, which he belongs there anyway. Best case scenario for that fuck. Yes, that's fair. That's one good thing. That's, yeah, all right.

All right, well, I'm doing the math here. Okay, Mr. Gower went to prison. He's drunk. That's a negative. I like Mr. Gower. Uncle Billy in the insane asylum. Is it one of those crooked ones? Is he getting abused?

Same. Oh, baby, I will never be born. Plus or minus column. I don't know where this one goes. Electroshock, eh? Not too shabby. While walking down Main Street, Violet is being arrested for just being, I guess,

whatever. She showed her leg in the wrongest. Now that's what I understand about the violent arrest, though. It really must have been something. Yeah. I think she's a sex worker. Yeah. Arrested on charges of being loose. There's now no middle class. Yes. Right. It's just the lower class of Potter. Like, which is

the Trumpian dream. There's just you and everybody else. So what really takes George and like sells him on the situation is he sees the cab driver and he's like, you know, like, hey Nick, take me home. Ernie,

by the way. Ernie, pardon me. Yeah, and Nick is the bartender. He's like, yeah, Ernie, take me home. You know where I live. 3.20, whatever the fuck.

And the guy's like, yeah, okay. And they drive there. The house is dilapidated again. Yes. There's a big fucking freak out. Bert, the cop comes. This is a great moment where there is a scene of a cop

tackling an angel to the ground. Oh, my God. One of my favorite moments is when the angel bites the cop. Yes. And then they're able to give him the 23 skidoo and fucking get out of there. But there's also, like, even in the town square, like, I think he gets to do it with Berth the cop a little bit, and he shoves him. All right.

And because he shoves him, this cop opens fire on him in the middle of a lounge of a Craven Street. Holy shit. Oh, yeah, because he kind of like, he sort of like punches him. Yeah, oh, that's why he punched him. Firing wildly. Potter rule. Pottersville PD, motherfucker. He goes to.

Yeah, so now that you'll notice, Mr. Bailey, the police look a lot more like the military now. Keep the rebel rousers in line. AR-15s. Tear gas, they've got it. Tear-Gas, AR-15s, bulletproofers, tanks. Oh, them are Antifa thugs in my streets. But another, like, fucking horrendous moment is he goes to his mother's house.

Yes. Which is now Ma Bailey's boarding house. The woman opens the door. I think if this, if we existed in the 1950s, we would all spend a good amount of time in boarding houses for sure. Oh, absolutely. I might still be in a boarding house. We'd be in, what was that movie, On the Bowery? Oh my God, yeah, we would.

We would be characters and on the Bowery for sure. Check that movie out this holiday season. It will make you thankful for everything you have. And it's fucked up right here. He's like, I'm your son, George or whatever. Where's my brother Harry? and again because George was not alive somehow they skipped right to having Harry

Yeah that's sure Well no they didn't even skip to having Harry They waited until the appropriate time Because Harry was still the same age Right yeah exactly Harry of course George wasn't around to save him Harry fell through the ice and died This is the moment and back to the future too

He goes to the grave site sees he died in 1919 I mean it's also a Christmas Carol too You know what I mean like this whole thing This whole thing is Christmas Carol-esque But, I mean, like, the funny thing is, like, why would even Harry go? Like, those were older kids. You know what I mean?

Like, that whole party was a bunch of George's friends and Harry was the kid brother. Harry wouldn't have been there. I mean, Harry would have made her who died something. Maybe like the fucking Tony Todd fucking Grim Reaper had it out for Harry from then on out. Yeah, he's just following him. Wait, the final destination or the Candyman? No, the final destination. Okay.

Yeah. I was hoping for a Candyman reference to it. Sorry, everybody. It's okay. I cannot believe they're remaking that, by the way. With Jordan Peel producing, we'll see. That's always like a, yeah, I'll produce it.

I cannot, I can believe they're remaking. But to not have Tony Todd is the candy made. I can believe that. He's got a cameo. He's definitely, it's probably going to be as like a fucking janitor or something. No, he's Candyman, senior. No, you put the hook

in your hand this way. This way. Candy man. I haven't gone by the name Candyman in a Oh, my God. What if it's like that Zora movie that came out in the 90s and like, and he's the old candy man that is to train the new candy man? Oh, shit. Yeah, you know what?

Jordan Piel, do that. Just do that. And Catherine Zeta Jones has a sexy scene with the new candy man and he's used the hooks on her, on her dress there. And she just goes, not bad. I think the mask is Zora, right? Yes. I think that might be a stage.

It'll take a while before. It definitely is. It'll take a while before the bumblebee stops stinging you. You have to control the bumbles. And then, like, you know, he asked Clarence in the graveyard. I was like, oh, my gosh. Harry's dead. Whatever happened to marry?

And, like, Clarence can't even say it. It's so disgusting. He's like, yeah. George, you do not want to know. And I'm like, oh, my God, is she dead? Did she become the elephant man? Oh, George. I'm sorry.

She's an old maid. And he's like, no. Dude, he is fucking shaking this angel by the fucking shirt. collar like tell me what happened i'm married tell me and this dude's like no i can't do it george you're going to throw up on me george she works at a library

no it's a nice life she's an attractive woman with a job what the fuck's wrong with that she's wearing glasses and and no makeup and all of a sudden the fucking town loses their eyes for a second like donna read

bloards like i mean More than likely she would have obviously just got married. George, you're the only one that would have had her. That's kind of what it is, right? She's so ugly to us. She turned down the chance to be in Sam Wayne Wright's harem. Honestly, like, somebody else would have figured it out with Donna Reed, and Donna Reid would figure it out with somebody else.

Or, like, it's also totally fine. Her life would be better. Let's not even fuck around with this. George Bailey is a great-A loser. She wouldn't be living in a leaky shack. And I mean, like, but the thing is, like, it's so funny, because I also think part of this old maid plot is like no one can fuck her in another dimension right

like that's how that's gonna work right yeah I can't go back to my wife now she's married to somebody else my hot throbber or bust oh you hushy you got married in another dimension he's in there eating my birthday cake but no so she's an old maid he tries to talk to her at the library this is what a fucking scene I think I made this joke on Twitter, but this movie could have just equally

have been called George Bailey and a series of public freakouts. Like, why does Hair barely run amok? This dude fucking loses it in public like six times in this movie, including right here. This woman is fucking screaming. I think also, by the way,

this is where the cop starts firing at. Oh, that's right. Because he runs away and he runs back to the bridge. Like, Mary being a spinster is like the fucking final straw. Yeah, I mean, like, take me back. Take me the fuck back. I don't care if I do. life in prison and she's like 31 you know what I mean like it's not like it's not over for her yet in my

opinion but uh yeah so he he runs back um and like he's like oh I want it all to go back I I've learned molession here to fire it's I want to live again oh and you know it's like all right dinga linga and then everything's back but the cop comes he's like oh I'll suck you get Bert and oh man he's fucking cranked up on crazy juice and then then he realized what's going on he runs down the town this is Merry Christmas movie house Oh you two, Emporium That's the fucking greatest dude, just an

Emporium Merry Christmas Gower's House of Horrors Merry Christmas Murder House Oh, you two Wonderful old building and loan The place that has crushed my fucking family's soul for decades Merry Christmas

And Hitler wherever you are Merry Christmas to you too Feeling dung He runs home And this is when If you're Steve Sadek This is when the waterworks start to work I cannot watch this movie

Without getting choked up When he walks on the door And the bank examiner's there No, no, you know it at him So the bank examiner is there Well, Mr. Bailey are going to jail There is a cop there He's like, let me guess

You got a fucking warrant For my head, don't you? No, I'm sorry, the best line of this entire movie for me Is he runs by Mr. Potter's house He's in euphoria, he's like Merry Christmas, Mr. Potter. And he goes, and happy New Year to you in jail.

Chef's kiss. Love it. That is a good one. And then, yeah, so this is like he's running around. He's looking for Mary. Mary's not in the house. He fucking finds the kids. Great big hug there, of course.

Mary comes home. She's like, hey, man, I've been out trying to like hustle and figure some things out here. And I think the town has come together to give you $8,000. We got a great news, George. We set up a GoFundMe page. And, you know, we reached our goal. Yeah, we did. That's exactly what this is.

Yeah. The government does the government. There's nothing wrong with the government. There's nothing wrong with our system of living that you could be ruined for $8,000. No, no, no, no, no. The town needs to come together to save you. And if they don't, you go to jail. I don't know.

You probably deserve it then. But it's so fucked up. Here's the thing. I think he's jumping the gun, though, with this whole suicide. because fuck you, man, when the investigation gets launched, it's all on fucking Uncle Bill. Absolutely. I would tell him out in a fucking heartbeat,

that fucking joke. George? The guy's been living for a hundred years. He's going to be gone in a year anyway. But yeah, this is the cavalcade of townspeople come in. Everybody's donating money. Martini gives his pocket watch for the kid to play with. That fucking gets me, dude.

Jimmy Stewart's hole. They're like, oh, my God, thank you. Harry shows up. Oh, fucking Harry. Back from whatever gallivanting adventure he was on. Get the fucking

Medal of Freedom or whatever. He flies. He flies. I was on the train down from D.C. and I just told this lady that it worked at a

glass factory. She started blowing me. Things are going great for me, Judgey boy. Hey, George, I'm glad you're not going in jail.

I just got sucked off on a train. I just helped Duma Thurman with a car. We're dating. Can you believe it? Hit her in the face with a jack,

killed her. dead. What? How's the jackbill? Oh, I miss that film. And then, yeah, so the little girl starts playing on the piano, we're all fucking singing songs and whatnot. The fucking, one of my favorite things is,

while he doesn't throw money into the till, the police inspector comes up and tears up the warrant in front of his face and puts it in the basket of donations, which is pretty great. That's worth some money itself. You're saving bail money, I guess. And the, you know, Harry does get the telegram from

Sam Wainwright, like apparently Gower had asked him on behalf of George Bailey for cash. He's like, for $25,000, stop. Yeah. Which is, yeah, that's what's going to get you. I lose it at that man, 25 large. And I'm not for, for Harry, you know,

we were shitting on Harry a lot, but if I was Harry, I'd be like, you know, I did just win the Congressional Medal of Honor folks. I mean, like, yeah, my brother, richest man in town. Fuck you, Harry. This dude is not going to jail. That is what we're celebrating. You know, I just got back from knocking out the emperor of Japan with my own fists.

so nothing for Harry, huh? Just let you know, I did save a transport full of people. It's awesome. Literally hundreds of men owe their lives directly to me. Well, were they from Bedford? No. Shut up.

They basically tell the bank manager to go fuck himself right here. The guy's like, well, I guess I'm defeated. No, but the bank manager puts money in the till as well, I believe, at the end of it, because he's so moved by it. Because his heart grows three sizes. Yes. and so yeah

here's to my brother this is what fucking kills me Sam raises a toast yeah Harry Harry says this is to my brother George Bailey the richest man in town

oh because you know what when you have friends you're rich that's right that's a lie that is true no money isn't everything folks

uh and by the way you should donate to the Patreon because we're that's right you want to be friends don't you and then

And so the bell rings. Oh, you know, Daddy, Mommy says when the bell rings an angel, or teacher says. Oh, that teacher's shit. I got to apologize to her. Oh, God, I call. There are all sorts of shit. The teacher, I just love that the teacher he yelled at was what brought this. Oh, God.

Does anybody remember? Oh, that's right. Hey, Clarenge, an out of boy, Clarenge. Does anybody remember the Rocko's Modern Life gag about this? No, I don't know. They have a thing where it's like, hey, daddy, teacher says every time a beller Bill rings, an angel gets its wings. I don't remember what character it is.

I remember this now. Maybe it's one of the big heads or something. Somebody goes, oh yeah, well, your teacher's full of snot. Fucking hilarious. That's always stuck with me. That's a good lie. I mean, like, yeah, I mean, I guess every single time of fucking bell rings. Jesus Christ, that's a fucking army of angels.

Well, it's the army. It's literally everyone who ever died who went to heaven is an angel. Right, right. The second class angel, by the way. Yeah, still got your dick. So, I mean, I guess, and that's the fun, Nick the boy. Nick the bartender when he's like making fun of him

he's like he's ringing the cashers look at all these fucking angels I'm making eight Hey everybody's getting wings tonight alright And then by the way We sing a song that I love Old Langzine

Great tune Singing it up Or as I call it Let all acquaintance be Forgot And say And just wait for it to get back To that part

Exactly And everybody Everybody likes themselves. It's Christmas time. And old Lang sign. I think that's like a pagan curse or something

X. Did they get that from Bohemian Grove? Oh shit. Some Celtic spell. And then, yeah, because it's 1946, the movie just ends. Yes. That's the end. We get the big old bell. Don't worry, we got the credits done at the beginning. The big bell. The big bell. so the big angel gets his ring.

Oh, you're totally right, dude. Yeah, the big one. That's under the giant. I finally got my wings. That big bell finally ring for me. No, that's too small a bell rang. I'm the angel of wild. Every time a cork is busted,

a big old wrestler angel gets her wing. Oh, yeah. Looks like I'm going to heaven. Angel second class Randy Savage Still got my dick The Hulk is ready for him Wait, what? Wait, what, where am I going?

What was that? Terry's going where? No. Oh, wow, I can't believe Chris Benoit went downstairs. Oh, definitely. He's the king of hell. Oh, my God.

Oh, and that is the end of the movie. man. Well done everyone. Yeah, it was a lot of fun. I love this movie. I've seen it. You're going to ask the question. I'm sorry. Oh, that's right. Did this movie hold up for you and how oft do you revisit it? This is a movie I revisit

about every, like, two years. It's always a Christmas time thing for me. Sometimes I'll switch it out with other Christmas classics. I don't get to it every year but it's definitely on my short list. Jimmy Stewart's fantastic. He's my favorite golden age actor, FYI. He's in the top slot for me.

Oh, nice. He just loved the personality. I love the idiosyncrasies and his performance. I think, uh, couldn't be a star today. He wouldn't, he wouldn't make it anywhere. He'd be Steve Busemi.

Yeah, exactly. Because he's too weird looking. Yeah, but I love how weird looking. Which is great. Exactly. I mean,

like he's not, and like, and he just had so many different modes. He could do like, you know, very sweet. He could do rope. He could do fucking vertigo.

Like, you know what I mean? Like, you know what I mean? Yeah. It's just, probably about, uh, once a year, I would say.

definitely holds up. I mean, I get the, I remember reading Manny Farber and like kind of like thinking it was bullshit specifically because he doesn't like this movie. Right. Yeah. And I mean, I do think it gets almost every three. The religion stuff is a bit much. But that again is of the time. And like I kind of get it. Like that was most of culture at the time. But it's not that overbearing though. It's just God doesn't come back. There's prayers. But it's like, and like yeah, he's an angel. I mean, but it's not like, it's not specifically denominational. We're not talking about Jesus.

No, Jesus does not come up. No, yeah, that's appreciate it. And apparently there's a scene where he, Jimmy Stewart drops to his knees and does the Our Father, but that got cut. And all religions have a Joseph. I'm sorry, yeah, but it's a great movie.

Yeah, it's good. Enjoyed rewatching it. I haven't, you know, it's kind of like once every five years for me or something. Like, I don't watch it that much. But when I do, I'm like, why are I watching this more? So it was great to revisit it. And obviously, Jimmy Stewart is fantastic. By the way, if you identify politically as center or right, you are pro-potter.

You are a Potter supporter. So I love the lessons in this movie. The lessons are great. This movie totally holds up. It's like the message of this movie is still totally valuable today. The crap that it got when it came out, which I understand, and this is a lot of Frank Kapper movies. It's sort of like that naive, we're just going to wrap it up with the power of love kind of the thing, you know. Well, yeah, the, the city, there are, there are bad people in the city, like, in the town other than Potter. But no, but just more like, you know, yeah, sure, you don't need to worry about that eight grand because, like, as long as you have, like, people that care about you, somehow everything will come up Millhouse. Like, sure. People will come

and just throw money at you to save you in the situation. Like, it's not a realist. Like, yeah. No, I'm not doing that. You know what I mean? Well, that's, you know. But if you want to do that, Patreon.com slash we hate movies. AKA America before November 2016. Yeah, it's just, it's a quick way to wrap up a movie.

So that part doesn't particularly work. But the fact that this movie, in 1946, it was like, no, fuck you rich people. Yeah. That's crazy that that happened. And there's no backstory to Potter. It's not like he lost his son or he's so sad. It's just, he's a rich fuck.

And having that much money poisons your soul. Absolutely. because it does. And also it's fucking kind of realistic in the other way in that there's nothing bad that Potter does not get come up and stuff at all. It just ignores it. It's like, well, we replace

this money so it's totally fine. I guess we'll never know what happened to it. Meanwhile, Potter's back at his office jerking off in front of his man friend. I will say Eric brought it up. There is the great silent live sketch from the Phil Hartman era of the alternate ending to It's a Wonderful Life. Introduced by William Shatner, by the way.

He was the host it, I guess. Yeah, and by the way, a trigger warning that Dennis Miller's in it. It's on Hulu and you should check it up. It's very funny. But yeah, I revisit, you know, I guess like maybe every other year or something. Like I said, I play this every year at the Burns. It's like, it's a holiday tradition for so many people, which I don't get. I mean, I get it, but I don't get it.

You can watch it whenever. Yeah, you really can. It's totally fun. I mean, I think they honestly mention Christmas more and die hard. Like if you want to. Oh, don't start that shit. No, I know. But if you want to put like where the barometer's at.

Christmas movies. For sure. A lot of it should be like taking place or mentioning it and this is like seriously the last 30 minutes and that's it.

Yes, oh, right. Yes, I'll accept the charges. What do you want, Bailey? Ho! Ho! I've got a machine gun! That is It's a Wonderful Life directed by Frank Capron 1946.

Of course, if you want more We Hate Movies, head over to Patreon.com slash we hate movies. It's got to say that speaking of William Shatner, we have our show on Star Trek, called The Nexus.

You may or may not have heard of it. It's at the $8 level where you also get commentary tracks this month's Commando, by the way. But back to William Shatner. Star Trek, the Wrath of Khan, full-length episode. Full-length episode on Patreon.

Plus Star Wars A New Hope, which we mentioned earlier. And it's not just a one and done, dude. You unlock everything we've ever done, a whole year of content. And you got animation, damnation.

We just did Batman the Animated Series on animation damage because we love movies month guys it's really cool we're just having fun if you've liked these episodes we've gotten great response so far on these episodes you definitely should continue having that fun on Patreon now

there is one more prime slot we love movies that is coming out on Christmas Day next week right it's only one left yeah yeah um so head on over to YouTube.com slash we hate movies watch that announcement video

figure out what the last one is it's going to a total blast and that's it. We will see you next week for the final episode of We Love Movies 2018. Until then I'm Andrew Jupin. Stephen Sadek. Chris Gavin. Eric Sisko. Take it easy.