We Hate Movies - S9 Ep407: Episode 407 - The Island

Episode Date: February 26, 2019

On this week's episode, the gang is chatting about the 2005 Michael Bay clone-related blockbuster, The Island! What's with this sarcastic lunch lady character? Why did that security guy murder Steve Buscemi's character instead of interrogate him? And what's with all that clone murder? PLUS: Appearing all weekend at Golden Corral, the brilliant comedy stylings of puppet-wielding, joke-telling sensation, Randy Blaaaa-Blaaaaare! The Island stars Ewan McGregor, Scarlett Johansson, Djimon Hounsou, Sean Bean, Steve Buscemi, and Michael Clarke Duncan; directed by Michael Bay. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This week on the program, man, I wish I had one of those white jumpsuits. It's the island. I'm Andrew Jupin. Oh, shit. What the fuck? I had a good joke, and I was like, oh, I'm going to be Steven Sannock Alpha 17. And then I was like, oh, let me just shut the fuck up over Andrew Juffin. That guy could just wait for this great joke.

Why were you announcing that you were going to have a joke? I want everyone to know. All right. See, if you're ready, we're going to do it again. Okay. We're going to do it again. You ready? This week on the program, boy, I wish I had one of those.

white jumpsuits. It's the island. I'm Andrew Jupin. Stephen Saneck Alpha 17. Wow, totally worth the wait. Welcome back. Chris Cabin. Echo Cisca. And we hate movies. Hello, everyone. Welcome to We Hate Movies. Thank you for tuning in, as always. Like I said, up top. That's right. It's the island from the pretty shitty year of 2005, directed by Michael Bay, who makes some pretty shitty movies. Terrible year. I think this was the same year. as revenge of the Sith. That's right. Hey, Poppy, this is the first year

of my second term. That's great, boy. Just don't fuck it up now. I beat that Frankenstein fuck. You think he's still doing that now like in an empty house? Yeah. Oh, God, that's sad.

That's sad. That's absolutely is. Hey, Poppy, boy, I'm sure getting tired of hearing all those crickets. Just wind through a country house, dude. What if you and I came to a different understanding? Apropos of nothing, I'm fat dick Chaney. I'll always be here for you.

Fat dick, that's right. That's what that movie should have been called, is just fat dick. Yeah, that would be nice. Christian Bale actually ate, he ate a bunch of McDonald's for three months to make his dick fatter. Really? Yeah, it depends.

Is it the sodium? The sodium? Not regular McDonald's. You have to get the nuggets and you have to get the hot mustard. I'd like to thank Grimmis. And you have to shove them straight up your urethra.

That's right. I've got a nugget dick. Oh, yeah. That's a classic case of nugget dick. What if it was rib for her pleasure? No, you don't know. McRib for her pleasure. Christian Bales' dick is much like a python

and it eats. Would you like to supersize that? Oh, Lord. So what is the island? Fuck all. It's a science fiction film in where the rich, much like the rich we know them right now, can pay Sean Bean to do this service where he makes a clone of them. So they can have their organs harvested and live longer and whatnot. Guarantee this is happening right now.

Oh, right. Of course. This is the most obvious outcome for human cloning. Yeah. It's the only reason George H.W. Bush is dead right now, dude, is because his fucking coupon expired. Now, boy, get them back on the phone. I am, my organs are failing, and I don't think that that's right. Should have checked the date on the Groupon. A Groupon to the service. I hope you fucking great. John Bean will be giving you a dirty ass look.

Oh, great, they have another Groupon. Yes, yes, it's only $200 million. And so, of course, it's, you know, like all these stories ago, the clones become aware of, you know, what the fuck is up and they escape. And apparently there was a lawsuit brought by parts the clonist horror, the film from the 70s, which was an MST3K episode. Oh, was it really? And it had, and it won't like, did, like they settled out of court. Seven figs, dude. Seven figs, yes, yes, yes.

You were pretending not to know about it, but now you do. No, I didn't know that it was an MST3K. Oh, okay. I too read the trivia for this movie. So I watched the MST3K. Uh-huh. Yes. I think it's a good one. It's the same plot. Is it a Joel or is it a mic?

It's a mic. It's a mic, yeah. It's the same plot. There's a few moments of cheering on people killing themselves, potentially. So it's got those mean little fringes to it. It's nice. But I just feel like it's a stretch because if you're going to have human clones, this is what would happen. Yeah. Yeah. I just feel like we're in a post idea society. You can't claim an idea anymore, in my opinion. I mean, not that it's the only one. It's also ripping up. Matrix. Oh, yes, of course. And THX-113-8, the entire start of this movie's

kind of ripped from the jumpsuits. A little minority reporty. Oh, sure. A little bit. Sean Bean's workstation you're talking about when he's flicking that digital file across the desk. Yeah, dude, I wanted one.

It's common, dude. I bet you that's the one thing that we'll see from this. We're not going to see the MSN search bot boots. Boy, that was the wrong horse to fucking bet on. I bet you Bezos has something like this. Oh, like a smart desk like that?

It's a giant dick on it. It's a fat dick. It's where he took the picture. Do anybody see this in the theater? No. I did. I did. I saw it the first time last night.

Really? Yeah. This was like the, it came out in like 2005. It was like the tail end of my multiplex days. Sure. So it was a C for free. And the thing with some of those C for frees is you come out of the C for free and you're like, I could have gone on a job.

You're just like a look at the fucking clear blue sky, the sun's out, you're like, you fat loser. This was a hotel watch for me initially, and it wasn't bad. That was fine with this. I watched like 20 minutes of it in a hotel, and I was like, oh, I'll just save this. No need to rewatch. Yeah, the one thing about this movie, I think the biggest flaw of this movie, I guess it's kind of hard to do this movie any other way. It's like the reveal that there is no island they are clones should have any weight. to it and or be a surprise.

But I think it was like in the trailer. Well, that's also, you know, you gotta do something else with that trailer. Yeah, I mean, you gotta have, what is the island? Who's the island? Ooh, what the island? Because I think in the trailer, if I remember, it's still you and we're going to there is no island. And it's like, well then all right, what am I going to do?

Like, they sold a whole six seasons of lost without telling you what the island really was in the commercial. Sure. Wait, wait, is this connected to that? Because both of those islands are fake and deathland, right? Well, no, that island is, It's real. They take the clones to the island, which is just death.

Yeah. And the lost guys, I haven't seen the show, are dead and they're hanging out on Ghost Isle? Is that correct? Original title, working title, Ghost Isle? Are they wayward spirits? No. So, yes, as Steve mentioned, this is Ewan McGregor.

Mm-hmm. Doing his, like, flat whatever. Oh, it's a bad one. It's not a good one. I mean, it's been worse. I don't know if it's been worse, actually. Really? His American accent has never been worse than this.

I think. Cabin, isn't it kind of bad in... A life less ordinary? Is he doing American in that? He barely... What's the movie Cabin that's like... It's designed after like an old school, like Doris Day movie? Oh, Down with Love.

Yeah. But he's really, like, he lays it on thick to get the lingo. Because that's a cartoon. Yeah. You're in a fake world, so it makes a saying that's like a bad accent in that movie. Sure. Yeah, I mean, I don't know. My, it's bad. But you don't see the lion on the leash.

This one you do see it. I think that's mean. I mean, like you can hear him stuffing it back. He does better in Fargo, actually, when he's like, when he's got a place to be kind of. Did you see that season three? Yeah, I did. Is it good? It's good.

I was just going to say, yeah, so it's worth a goddamn. Yeah, he looks a lot like Albert Fini at parts. He does. Well, that makes sense. Yeah. David Thulis is amazing. amazing in it. Yes. Wow. I feel like that season versus the second season. Oh, the second season is just amazing. No, I know, but like

nobody was talking about that third season. It's good. Too much TV. Too much TV. There is. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So yeah, it's him. He has this, the beginning is him on having a dream where like literally in the first 90 seconds, you see this sinister old fuck in like this kind of flash whatever. He's like, you want to go to the island. Well, I'm like, well, then the island is obviously clear. a bad place. Absolutely. And also, you know what? If you're doing, you know, a post-emnotic suggestion, get somebody nice.

Get, like, you know, get, like, you got this, like, beautiful woman that does the lottery. Have her do it. Not like, you want to go to the island. Or, I don't want to go. Is that guy going to be there? Because I don't want to go there. Find like a dude who sounds like Bob Ross. Yeah.

I just want to go to the island now. Get down to the island there. You just got to beat the hell out of it. Put a little palm trees on the island. Yeah. Thank you for joining us this evening of painting. This is a classic wet-on-wet painting structure. Little piss yellow beach there.

We don't have time for that. You want to go to the island. I think that's supposed to just be Ewan McGregor who can actually remember. Oh, okay. Everybody remembers the sound. Oh, okay. But who is that guy?

At the very least, do Sean Bean. Yes. No, no, he shows back up. Are we talking about his dream sequences? Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's opening up like he's fucking Wolverine. I'm expecting Colonel William Striker to come around. Because he's like having these dreams where he's like,

I'm in a lab, I'm in a bathtub. Oh, my Lord. When we go to the baby propaganda room where they're all having the flash things. Yeah, those are the images. Well, yeah, that's what I mean. I know, but I'm saying the man. I'm Kevin, I'm saying the man does not appear in the film. That guy should be like the lead scientist or some shit.

Like, oh, bring in Dr. Johansson And then the door opens And it's like, dun, dun, da, And it's that dude from the vision. Sean Bean should be like a mini boss. Yes. He's like the heavy you fight. He's a heavy scientist,

but it's a heavy you fight to get to the ultimate science. Sean Bean's like, oh, get me that really nasty actor from those anti-smoking ads. The guy that plays like the guy from Philip Morris who laughs that everyone's dying at his product. Yes, yes, the one with the fucked up dead teeth. he looks like he's giggling tar so it's him he's having this nightmare

he's about to wait this is he might be wolver in a tariff's point he really might be wolver this nightmare starts like a dream dough dude they're on a cool boat he's just this close from fucking scarlet johansen on the bow of this boat yeah but that it's over with it looks like one of the commercials Michael bay directed before he made became a filmmaker surprisingly and he wakes up in this room and very clearly it's like

a very super future situation. Totally. He's getting, this is the thing I find obnoxious about this kind of future is like a little scroll that opens your every day. Like, time to get up. There's too much salt in your piss. Grief the day. Fuck you computer. Don't tell me how to live.

Please. Like, I would start talking back to the computer pretty regularly. It's surprising that he doesn't. And I'd start freaking me out. If I start having a conversation with my wall for too long, it would really... You're my only friend, computer. In THX you talk to the computer

and it's like this photo of Jesus Christ It's like a confessional slash Oh that's kind of fun But this thing's just gargling my piss And tell me what's in it Like Wouldn't you like? It's like future Flintstones a bit

Isn't it? Yeah I would like that It's all living My toilet would tell me about my piss I'm all for it You know? Because I get better myself every day A little bit Chris

But then you'd have to wear Puma's clothing every day Eric before you finish washing your hands You're looking a little dark there, buddy. You look a little dark. Peas look a little dark. Oh, my peas look at dark. Okay. Yeah.

I was like, no one's ever said I look dark. A little syrupy. Syripy. Oh, my God. Nice. It's like grenadine or something. So he wakes up. He's like, he, you know, he has to wear this white outfit.

He's not crazy about it. He's like, how about some more fucking colors? Yeah, that's, who are, now who are you talking to? Like, only then he talks to the computer to comply. It's like, dude, by the way, Are you, I guess he's supposed to be like three technically. Again, it's a person birth from a sack. He's three years old.

He's born an adult. This is your everyday, buddy. Yes, yeah. Stop bitching about colors. This is it. Everybody's got a, you know, dress like they're taking orders from Tony Soprano. But this is the first, we already mentioned it, but the first of many product placements. This is buy your Puma sneakers.

My question is, why are we branding to these clones? that we're just going to kill anyway. Like what, like, the universe, ooh, I want to get those Pumas. What are you talking about? That's a fat contract for the Puma Corporation. For what, though? Sometimes you just got to buy stuff.

Everything's made by somebody, dude. It's a secret facility. Right? What are they supposed to wear? Sandwich bags? How about fucking nothing? Oh, wait, wait, wait. Oh, wait, nobody else.

Nobody works at this prison, right, Steve? Yeah, no, no, there's a lot of people working with, Steve. I would keep them nude and hand out like a, you know, like a wool blanket for each person. No, dude, nudity is not the way to go. Why? I mean, we're just going to cut these

these people, we're just going to cut up at the end of the day. They should just keep them self-contained in one room, chain them up. I don't know. No, well, they do make mention of something about like, and I believe this is horseshit, but it's like, you know, oh, the bodies are healthier when there's

like interaction and they're doing things and whatever. That's not true. But what they talk about, though, is like they don't want them fucking. So if you have a bunch of these clones just walking around nude, man, I mean, something's getting down to something. Well, what if you, like, domer them all, put a little acid in their brain or something?

Like, make them vegetables. And then they're just there for, like, a kidney farm. Well, that's what the public thinks. Like, all, like, you know, that's the ethical thing they do. No, you and McGregor's like, oh, cool. My clone is, like, just this guy who lives in a sack

that's just waiting for me to grab my kidney. They're not even people, though. Like, we see the little, like, Sean Bean's sales. pitch. Yeah. And it's just like a CGI like cube that's like moving or whatever. And he's like, yeah, inside that gob of shit

there's your organs that you need. See, you're not thinking like Sean Bean, though. Sean Bean knows you can't let these clones have sex because then the janitorial union is going to say double everything. Triple, quadruple everything. Yeah, it's going to fuck up your bottom line. Castrate them. Like, honestly,

like you are, I guess maybe if there's a dick replacement we need. You would That might be the issue of not doing. Well, also to, I mean, yeah, I guess. Dick replacement surgery. Or testicles, you know, you get one, you get one amputated. You get, you got one. Oh, like Jerry Orbach, right?

Yeah. He donated two testicles. Oh, eyeballs. You said, I knew there were balls. I knew he donated his balls to science. So you go into this elevator. It's like the morning rush. There's everybody's in there.

And like, you see Michael Clark Duncan just won the lottery and he's going to the island that's right and he's like clapping his hands and cheering and everything it's a very weird like i've never seen michael clark dungan do that yeah uh there's this bitter guy that's really pissed off he's like i've been here forever who's this guy uh he's in stuff yeah he's a kind of a familiar face he's a big stuff guy i kept thinking at first that he was um the dude who played arty the strongest man in the world oh no it's like that guy he reminded me a little of hugo weaving but And it's definitely not him. No, it's also definitely not Hugo.

He looks like Patrick Wilson, kind of a little bit. Maybe it's a clone of all these people. Oh, yes. Well, Jones, the guy who plays Jones is also a stuff guy. Yeah, I kept me to look that guy up today at him. He's been in a bunch of shit.

So he's like very upset and like he knocks it over and this is a security team. He's like, hey man, don't fuck with the merchandise. And the weird thing is you don't know, like, again, like you fight out sort of in the middle of the movie that the lie that these clones have. is that there's a huge contamination that there's like an extinction event

that keeps them in this weird population. Right. That should be the first information. Like there should be like the commercial that they're told and like then I'm lied to as the audience of oh wow, there's a it's a super futuristic thing where there's like blah blah blah and then like when the switch happens

I'd be like wow a twist in a movie. Like there's no effort to hide it from you at all. They don't even tell you what it is. No. But it's also I mean something is up from the jump though because it's like what is this contest? Like if there's all this contamination What is this contest to go to an island?

Well, they say the island is like the best place left on earth. All of else of earth is scrap. It shows you exactly how they can't control this population whatsoever. They don't know the power of fear. Yeah. So they don't give images of like, you know, dead people out in the desert. This is what I, Chris Gavin is like a fucking brutal ruler. I am.

I think about this shit. Play that fucking annihilation sequence from T2. Also, that would. I would need some flaming fucking skeleton. Sean Pete putting on the Terminator 2. Sean Bean has to license it from James Cameron. Hold on a second. I have to do the chapter selections.

And, okay, chapter 5. You think with all the money we could get this cut up. No, you do the Judge Dread sequence of the cursed earth. And you get those like weird hillbillies, those cyber hillbillies. Oh, totally. Well, I don't want to go outside with all the cyber hillbillies. And Rob Schneider.

That's what they're terrified of is. Just have Rob Schneider make trailers for a bunch of different movies that never come out and keep on flashing that this is coming to a theater out in the cursed earth. Man, in a world where Rob Schneider movies don't come out. That's pretty cool. He's eating spaghetti and a robot. Wait, so he's the animal. Oh, no, I'm not going out of there.

For the fourth time. That's what you call a hot chick. So, like, we're sort of shown the setup. We're shown the exterior of this thing immediately. It's like, it goes from this nice, like, community cafeteria area. And it's like, you go outside and it's like, look at all these dark towers. Where are we kind of a thing? And we get, like, their breakfast routine where we're introduced to, like, a kind of character that doesn't need to...

What? We're introduced to oatmeal hose. my favorite oatmeal hose run by a character who we don't need in this movie sassy lunch lady

get this out of this fucking movie it just needs to be somebody like oatmeal or eggs this is a Michael Bay touch I hear the day

it's like a joke gross working somebody can be bought with like charm or something else he's a cynic so you have to always look for somebody

who you can be bought listen cabin I am watching a Michael Bay movie. I'm not here for the fucking laughs, okay? Well, you've got to find somebody else. Yeah. What are you talking about? Easier to thrill and chuckle you. Well, I kind of agree with Andrew here, because

why not just do a robot? Why not just do another clone that you've programmed into a lunch lady? Because it's like these clones are doing nothing all day. Yeah. Put them to work. Who gives a shit? And like, why are they hiring outside people who could fucking leak this entire operation? Yes.

Why are you bringing in someone to do the lunch lady job? And I hope they're paid well because my god there's six figure lunch lady as you better be maybe that's a movie six figure lunch lady maybe we don't we don't see because we do see I mean some of them do have jobs like you McGregor and those other guys work in the little lab and shit they like feed the the bags of clones they don't know what they're doing right but maybe it's a thing maybe this lunch lady is the clone of like the chancellor of Germany oh wow you know what I mean and like she's just in this world she's a sarcastic English speaking lunch lady and there's a sarcastic English speaking lunch lady and there's

There's not to say that this lady also needs to know that these, like, they're getting cut up. You know what's going to. Cabin, you got to go out in the middle of the desert and then you're fucking all the way underground in this facility. Of course, she knows what's going on. Of course, the employer is always going to tell everything to the employee. Cabin, I think, hey, what do you do for a living lunch lady? Oh, I work in a fucking secret underground facility in the middle of the desert. That is enough to start spilling the beans about something.

What does she think these people are or do? Well, she must know, right? She has to know. Steve Busemi knows, and he's also an outside contractor who's apparently there. He's, like, there to, like, decalibrate the baby platters that come out. Some fucking weird thing. What a job. So, you and McGregor's like, oh, let me get a, like, what do you want for breakfast?

It's like eggs or, or, you know, like, he's got, like, health problems because he's fucking you and McGregor, by the way. This guy's in an amazing shape. He's like, could I have us? She could have bacon. And she's like, no. Oh, like, why is there even bacon? then if people aren't allowed bacon

why introduce that flavor nobody needs no human being needs bacon I mean like you know what I'm talking no I know and that's what's weird right it's like if all they know is this world and nothing else I guess it's all about health it's all about health

consciousness like this I always want to the place fucking oatmeal hose and everyone nothing else you are into this oatmeal I am I liked it I think it's the thing where they need to start altering those fake memories because Because in those fake memories, maybe you have knowledge of bacon or whatever. Yeah. So, like, just don't have those either.

You know what I mean? I remember getting my bar, my bar of crushed up bugs. Oh, it's delicious. It was amazing. Exactly. Go put a lot of fucking snowpiercer, man. 1,000%. Because there is a hierarchy, though.

So they do have to give you, like, some points for doing better. I guess so. But it's all wrapped into that notion of that one throwaway line where it's like these clones are healthier. if they're up and about and doing things and socializing, which I don't know that that's true. No, I don't... It's not like a dog dying of a broken heart.

And the brain isn't what you're worried about. It's only about the organs. Well, unless there's some brain harvesting going on. We don't know. Brain transfer. I mean, all that proves is they'll taste better, I guess, right? Do you think there's cannibalism going on? Do you think Sean Bean has eaten a clone?

I'm sure he's had to have. Why not, right? It's everywhere. You can get human meat all you want. Absolutely. No, I think there's much more nefarious things going on in this organization that we're shown in this movie. That would be a better twist, like at the very end, like right before Ewan McGregor and Sean Bean face off for the finale, have him like eating a human arm. Yeah.

Or he's like, oh yeah, remember your friend Mac and they look and it's Steve Busemi's severed head and he turned it into a fucking jackalander? Like the whole board of this organization worship the devil and they eat human flesh. Yes, why not? Hey, are you, you guys, you, oh, yeah, you're harvesting, uh, KL, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. Can I, uh, fuck him first real quick? Before you, or actually after his fine, too, I'd prefer before. Like, you know, like, there's a, definitely some necrophilia. There's definitely a fuckboard going on.

It was a car accident. You got like 10 minutes in you? Um, so Scarlett Johansson comes in. Yes. She's Jordan, whatever the fuck. Jordan's. Sarah Jordan. Or Jordan.

Delta Fargo Oh, right. I was thinking of her celebrity real life name. No, no, no, no. The clone name. The clone name is like

Alpha Centari or City Alpha 6 or Jordan Tango Niners. Jordan 2 Delta. Yeah. And he is Lincoln 6 Echo.

He calls him a walkie talkie. So she's the one who comes up and she's like, you just got to fucking schmooze this lunch lady. Yeah. And gets him like all this bacon and shit, which like the first 10 minutes of this movie, you're so bacon-centric?

You'd think that there'd be a scene at the end of the movie we were eating bacon. Are they cloning pigs? Was that the first step? You better. There was a pig farm, yeah. I bet you that they're a fucking chock full of pork and they can't get rid of it because it's like a legal pork.

Like we can't sell this fucking genetically engineered fake pork. You don't think that could be person bacon? Oh, that could be person bacon. Now I change it person bacon. Because like when you take the organ, you got all that meat left. Like, what are you going to do that meat? Maybe that's what really that oatmeal is, dude. Oh, shit.

Yeah, dude. It's just like mushified people. The island is oatmeal. It's just sort of like green. The one thing I don't understand is why are there not like, if I'm, you know, if I'm a millionaire and I'm like, all right, here's, here's, you know, a million bucks for a clone. I don't know what the number is. Like, here's a million bucks. Sure.

Get me a clone. I kind of want like two or three just around. Like, you know what I mean? Like, what if something falls on this guy's head? What happens? Then what happens? I want one for a house. Pat. Later when

Eum McGregor is presumed to be dead other Eum McGregor has to come back in to get a re-clone like, no, no, no, no, no, no. That's not on me. You should have that shit on file. Exactly. Which I think is the problem. Yeah. What are you talking about? It's got to come in for a scan. You know, you can probably presumably clone me

from one of my hairs. I can fucking shit in an envelope. I got to come in for this. It's Saturday. I can come and do an envelope and send it along. I'm sure some government regulation. You probably have to fucking get rid of of the human DNA after a while. Oh, yeah.

Here's something, oh, man, is this a real thing, or am I just making this up? I'm pretty sure I read somewhere, just speaking of, like, cloning things. Barbara Streisand has had the same dog cloned like three times. That's a real thing?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. See, the thing is the rich can do whatever they want. They can clone whatever they want. There's no laws of science or man that apply to it. Right. I don't know if I'd be cool with a clone dog, I'll be honest. Because it might come back. back of evil. Yeah, exactly. There's always

the chance for evil, which is a real problem. Yeah. Also, you know, there could be a chance for good. You clone an evil dog it might come out good. We saw that with the boys from Brazil where the little Hitler was helpful to the Nazi hunter in the end. Am I getting

that right? Sure. You know what, Eric? Sometimes dead is better. That's what I've heard. That has always been my motto is sometimes dead is better. Or most times dead is better. Right now, dead is better. I think dead is fantastic. There's a weird line also, which doesn't make sense in the long term of...

Well, so we're told that, like, they keep them from fucking each other. Sure. Because that would just be, like, a huge mess. Like you said, Mop-Bot, get in here. And just, like, everybody getting pregnant who gets STDs. Exactly. But there's a thing where... I think it's...

My fucking clone has gonorrhea. Excuse me. No, it turns into blindness. Like, that's the end stage of... of all this. I think there's a thing though where they're telling, like, isn't it Sean Bean when he has you, McGregor in for like a little counseling session?

Because Sean Bean's like disguise in this movie or like secret thing. The secret thing is that he's the nefarious villain, but like how he presents himself to these clones is he's like the psychiatrist or whatever. Yeah. He tells them, does he not, that they're also there like there was the event, whatever, mass

extinction. They're there to repopulate the earth. Yeah. How are they repopulating without all the fucking? Can you only fuck on the island? Oh, maybe that's what it is. Yeah. Yeah. We can't have you fucking here. Look, the island, the windows are open.

It's a little easier. We don't let that smell in here. Again, you know nothing about advertising? Sex sells, buddies. Yeah. You want to get them really frothed up? Want him to really get the points? Do you think there's a thing where you could put in an order to Sean Bean? You're like, all right, Sean Bean, listen.

Take hair, blood, whatever you need, make my clone. Sure. I am going to fuck my brains out. do you think anyone could do that what fuck your own clone yeah like you can order a clone oh sean bean get it delivered and you can pay extra yeah that's on the that's on the black market

I think yeah Sean Bean's not letting you do that the guy he kicked out of gray matter yeah it's ex parte well you know what I bet they do is because it'd be like a big liability if this thing gets out and they see that there's a clone of you running around so I bet you they

burn out its eyes cut off its nose you know ears maybe try to make it like indistinguish Make it like not appearing to look like you burn off its face And then you have sex with it? Yeah, it's like a gimp. It's just like a hot body. Have you been reading that Pinochet book again?

No, it's a way, dude. I need the face. The whole point is I want to look at myself when I'm fucking myself. All right, all right, all right. You want to fucking get a mirror, dude. I can get a perfect clone of you, but it's always five foot two. That's as tall as it gets and the fingers are webbed. Other than that, an exact replica.

All right, it looks exactly like you, but imagine you cross with, I don't know, Danny DeVito and Batman Returns. But it's almost exactly you. 5-2. 5-2. Does it come with a pulley system at least for me to help here? I think I would like it shorter,

just then I could dominate it better, right? Yes, exactly. That's what you want. So Sean Bean's like doing this counseling session with you and McGregor, and he's like, well, it seems like you may be venturing towards independent thought. How about some studies? Two independent thought alarms in one day.

And he puts these like little like bug robots in you McGregor's eyes. And the only thing he says is like, it's gonna hurt when you piss these out tomorrow. Have a good day clone. Nanobots, dude. They don't do anything. They do nothing. It's just to show CGI garbage.

He gets a brains, like they scan his brain. They look really bad, by the way. They look real. They look like they were produced around 2005. That's what that is. So there's another lot. We do see them go around. We get more product places.

There's a bar, like this weird, like fruit juice bar. It looks like a place. It's a fucking ladymorphin power rangers. Remember these to hang out of that fruit juice bar? Absolutely do. It was like a fruit juice bar slash dojo,

if I remember correctly. In the back, it's a dojo. Which is kind of like what this is too. Right. Well, it's a place that I know, like there's like clubs like this in New York

you go into one of these places you instantly want to leave it's just one of those kind of clubs you know is just like Stefan New York's hottest club is they put nanobots in your eyes there's another hierarchy thing

because they're like because he has his piss said he did bad or whatever he has to drink like a spinach and dirt smoothie and like she it's like pomegranate fluff and

I believe blueberry gel or whatever the fuck that thing was dude I almost fucking vomited part of her juice there's like

juiced fennel in it oh you know just give me a fucking seltzer with a splash of cranberry and we'll be on our way

that's it that's fine and you know it'll clear up all your fucking UTIs dude exactly just splash

nice yeah man cool splash a crann dude then we get some sick Xbox

Like there's like this weird It's a fighting gate It's like a wee thing But it's like fighting and you fight And whatever I guess it's just sort of set up That they're A physically fit and B Like they know the art of

Jim Kata Like clone Kata Training these things to fight now Great question And then yeah The giant Xbox logos Are everywhere What between this and like

That MSN's search kiosk later In the movie Microsoft Had a real hand in this You know if I had any fucking money I'd buy an Xbox That's the first thing I do. Oh, my Lord. I think this also, but it kind of predicted...

Fuck, what did they even... Xbox motion or whatever that stuff? Yeah, that like camera thing where you could interact. I'm glad that whole fad ended and we're back to fucking sitting down and playing video games. Thank you very much. Well, because that immediately went away when they were like... PlayStation was like, well, we have this VR thing. Isn't that better?

And everybody was like, oh, well, actually. Now that you mentioned it. PlayStation yes as a matter of fact it is i'm waiting for the giant helmets oh yeah humongous like put put a death punk helmet on me and take me to the hollow i want i don't know that we're going that way though dude i think that was like the vr of the 90s i played that in the 90s well it'll come back now i want to get into the fucking headband situation of demolition man and i want a threesome with sylvester stone and sandra bullock and demolition man that's nice i want to be right in the middle that's right in the middle that's the dream that's that's what you're going to do with your oculus so fucking dirty

dude, you're going to need like seven she shells after this. So, whatever. He goes to visit Steve, he gets, he cuts out of work to go visit Steve Buscemi, who's like, and like, they let these fucking clones in like utility areas, which is crazy. That's what I did he get, how did he get in there?

Yeah, where's a guy with a stun gun? They show them having 100,000 cameras. Like, there's just these huge screens of different bodies. First of all, the cameras are terrible. This blue sheet I could barely make anything out It's like you get to fucking haul

A call from Yavin 4 It's like no no no no It's like the fake future It should be clearer Yavin 4 is in range Well it's a call when ready It's a weird thing where You see like the one screen

That the security guard is in front of And it's like a hundred security cameras And they're all really tiny Yeah I'm like You need a bigger control room or something If you're gonna have this many fucking cameras You can't even see it And there's no cameras in the rooms either,

which is the first place that fucking put a camera. No, there's cameras in the room because that's you McGregor's yelling at one at the beginning of the movie. That's the shot. Then how does he escape later in the movie? Let's ask the real question. Because they don't think of it.

You have to not remember anything. It's a really poorly managed company is what this all boils down to. He is missing a shoe out of one of his shoes. Yeah, and he points this out to the camera when he's yelling at it. What happened to that shoe? We never find out what happened to that.

He walks out fine. He's got two shoes. But I guess he's got another pair. But then what happened to that other shoe? Oh, there's just some creep that's into it that just deals with you in McGregor's. See? This is the thing that's going to happen. These outside contractors are going to come in.

They're going to be sniffing up the place. Oh, dude. Just sniffing shoes? Scarlett Johansson's down to one shoe period. She's like, come on, guys. I need to be able to walk. I would not be surprised if someone like Steve Rusami got took home a baby. baby platter of his own

opened it up at home and let all that KY jelly fall to the ground which turns out it was KY jelly which is great because then it's easy and then he's got this thing and then he like chains it up in his house right I mean that's what would happen in real life

that you would have a baby sack somebody would have a baby sack to steal a clone and then he would like birth it dude and then be like I'm God I am God and what the hell does that have to do with stealing sneakers again? How did we get here? Because, dude, some outside

contractor steals a sneaker. Next thing you know, they're stealing a giant baby platter of a 40-year-old man. That's the side of it. I got you. Reginald, thank you for coming to your performance review. We noticed three less clones last week. Also, Scarlett Johansson

has no shoes. I don't know about that. I didn't see anything. Here is you in a large trench coat with clearly a clone under it. Trying to leave the vicinity. Look, in my defense, they bounced out of the carriage of my truck.

That is a clone, sir. It was only two miles from here. I actually didn't get to use them. The clone fell on the floor and I didn't make the five second rule, so we're just going to have to throw it away anyway. No one could trace it back to you guys. I've burned its face on.

Made myself a gimp. It's chained to my radiator. So you and McGreg is like, hey man, you want to go drink for a second? And you and Busemi's like, sure. And like this is like, you know, we're just kind of drinking and he's like buddies. Like this booze is from the pre-contamination days and there's not a lot left of it. That's what I appreciate about Busemi in this movie is this character.

He's just like a roughneck kind of, you know, blue-collar dude or whatever. But he's still committed to keeping up this gag. So he's like, yeah, you can come to my little like workspace hideout where you better believe there's pornography tape. to the wall. And we'll have some, like, hooch that I made. But also, I'm going to keep up this ruse that we're repopulating the earth and such and such a shit. But, like, they also

talk about, like, how they don't tell them what sexes. But are they, like, given a drug to, like, to stop the urge or what? Because these are sexually mature adults. There's a passing line where they mentioned something about removing the sex drug. But there's a pregnant woman in the...

Oh, that's true. Yeah, I don't know how they're doing that. Yeah. Yeah. That's like, that's an in vitro situation. Wow. Yeah. So you know, I think the thing is like, Ewan McGregor's three years old. At three years old, you don't have a huge functioning clog.

Yeah. So I think they're, I think they're adults, but they still have to go through puberty. Eventually. No, no, no, no. He's got a functioning hog. They fuck, let it.

Do you see it? Two, three days. Do you see it? No, I do not. It's the rare Eude McGregor movie. You know, I was thinking about that while watching this. That dude is flashed wang and so many motion pictures. Why not here?

You know, Michael, you could see my dick if you'd like. No, Ewan were fine. You're sure. You could use that crazy camera you like. You can get tape guy in there. You don't need. Can I get in there? I got some things I want to tape down.

See, McGregor definitely offered him. Michael Bay just tried to use it for leverage to get Scarjo to get naked. Look, you know, Ewan wants to get naked. Ewan's doing it. Look at that. See? Oh, Michael. No, thank you.

Frankie Fairness. I don't want to get naked in your movie. please remove the camera from my dressing room thank you very much one of my favorite parts of this movie is around here we're like so Steve Bucemi's hanging out with him and then it's like we need a maintenance man to sector or whatever and he's

like all right I'm on my way and it's like they're cutting open this person sack while Steve Bouchemy is trying to like fix this piece of equipment and he's like guys can't you wait till I leave the room before you do and he's just like going to vomit looking at this person sack yeah it's disgusting

these things are like real wrinkly like disgustos. He's acting there. He doesn't want them to know that he's into this stuff. He's going to come in tomorrow with this big jacket and leave with that clone. But this is weird though because... But why are they hairless too? Yeah, the hairless is a question, Mark. You say that, and I just imagine

that Steve Bouchem is going home and like filling an entire bathtub full of KY jelly and like sinking himself into it like a baby. Wouldn't you do that if you could? Yeah, right? I had the money. No. Yeah. So this is what it feels like to be a clown. I'll just put a shack over me

What's weird though They're like full-grown babies They're full-grown babies Because we see this thing And the guy's like It's like a full-grown man He looks like a fucking jigsaw He kind of does

And he starts like trying to suck his thumb And this dude's like Oh wake up little man baby But why don't they have hair Either they would have hair all the time or not They should never have hair Then they should all be sleek weirdos Maybe there's chemicals inside that K-Y thing

Do you think we're doing hair transplants, too? Like, if you have to go for a hair transplant, you can go to your clone. But I guess your clone would also go bald, no? You just take the scalp, right? Yeah. For a second there, I thought that was Strickland. Oh, yeah, James Tolkien?

Yeah, I was like, wait, what? On the table? Yeah. As a nod, I don't know. As a nod to what? I guess BTDF. Yeah, I'm sure Michael Bay loves that movie. So he, on his way back,

on his way back, he finds a month. and steals it in this little box and he's like, wow, if there's a moth, that means the contamination can't be that bad. Right. He's kind of like going through that kind of thing. That night, he decides to go look around this incredibly, there's not a locked door to be found in this fucking facility. I don't get it. He's like, Fred Astaire. Look, he's just like, ah, da, da, da, da, da, like the whole stage. I do think he puts a pillow under his blanket, then puts the blanket over it. And it looks like he's sleeping. I'm breaking in Try and catch me

And this is what are you get Which I think is my favorite scene In the movie is the Michael Clark Duncan's surgery scene This is really something We should mention by the way Before this, Scarlett Johansson has won the lottery And the next morning she'll be taken to the island Steve continue

He goes around Does he see the other woman first or after The pregnant woman? He sees the pregnant, so there is a pregnant woman And it's like Oh she goes into labor and it's like oh and it's weird so like she goes into labor it's like oh you're giving birth time to go to the island and there's a guy who's buddies with you mingregor who thinks he has this whole system down with like how they're going to get chosen from the lottery he looks like neelix from star track yeah uh but it's not that actor um and so that guy's all pissed off he's like oh it's easy for the women you just gotta fucking have a baby and you go to the island yeah that might be neilks i'm looking it up now that haircut confused me and he's got that crazy conspiracy theory he's like crunched the nose of the numbers. Right. He's reading way too much into every single thing. And he's like finding out what

Qon's up to. Turns out he's going to be picked next. Turns out he's not. Right. It's Scarlett Johansson. So yeah, so Eun McGregor climbs up into this other part of the facility. He sees the pregnant woman. She's just given birth. And he's like, oh, wow, look a baby. And then, like, they fucking murder this woman before his eyes. And also, like, they do a really shitty job of murdering her. Like, just like, give her. I mean, We're going to give you the sedative to calm you down. And, like, it has to hurt for some reason. Like, I don't know if you don't...

Just cattle prod. Like, no country for old men. Just, like, right through the head. Oh, an air gun? Yeah. That might be something. Call it. Call it pregnant lady. Then the nurse is horrible. Just then the nurse just says,

Oh, this wasted me? Well, that is, uh, he, the guy from, uh, Neelix is this guy. Is it? His name is. Jones in this movie. Wow. All right. Thank you.

It was driving me to see this guy a lot in some thing. Totally. But also like, so the weird thing is like, so like, in feature fertilization costs a lot of money and it makes sense if, you know, you don't want to take the risk of getting pregnant yourself that you would make this clone go through it. And bonus, it looks exactly like you so you don't have to have any other kind of DNA. Or you can't do it. Yeah. But yeah. But then why would your clone be able to do it?

Because they're genetically modifying these people. In the sack. Is she birthing another one of her or someone out? No, no, it's a baby. It's her and her husband. The dude's there, you know, they show this other guy that's like, oh, yeah, it's a baby. Clone marriage? No, no, no.

It's this woman. The woman gets a clone. The clone has the baby. It's the surrogate to her and her husband. Yeah. Your clone is your surrogate. That's great. And that's expensive.

But then why would you kill the clone? Because now you got this, that's this prime piece of me. Like, what if I get lung cancer next year? What if I get, you don't know what? I think it's a thing, dude, where it's like, it's one use and that you're out? It's like a disposable fork, dude. You're not washing that.

You're not washing paper plates. You're throwing it away. And these people are so rich that it's like, listen, here's the thing, Steve. If you can afford to have a clone made of yourself, you definitely can afford multiple clones made of yourself. But then where are the other? There should be 10 Ewan McGregor's.

That's what I'm saying. Well, why do you need them all on deck? Just have it when you have one. Okay. If there's an ailment or something. Well, they're not keeping it on file. You'd have to keep on having them come back in. Come in 10 times to the underground layer.

They're rich. They got time. What are they doing? They just get annoyed. The yacht will wait. So Michael Clark Duncan's like, I'm going to the island. I'm really excited to go to the island. They don't, for all this money, they have piss poor fucking sedatives in this fucking place.

This is just add it to the laundry list of how terribly mismanaged this company. What is fucking Betsy? Divorce run this place? What a fucking joke this company is. You shouldn't have a guy wake up in the middle of surgery. Jesus, this is my worst nightmare. No, this is a classic thing. Sean Bean has this

look of competency the whole time, but he's a blithering idiot. It's embarrassing. And if I was a billionaire in this world, I'm taking my clone money someplace else. Because later after this crazy thing happens, some guys are like, yeah, it's not the first time that's happened.

The security guard says to you and McGregor, like, oh, yeah, don't worry about that. What are you new here, buddy? This happens all the time. What the fuck are you talking about? Oh, this wall? This is just candy. Like, everlasting gobstockers.

Put these people out. Like, you know what I mean? Like, it's very easy to sedate somebody. Was it a miscalculation? Because, like, Michael Clark Duncan's a big dude, so they didn't use enough? I don't know. At some point, Sean Bean does mention that, like, all the shit they're doing is illegal under the eugenics laws of 2015.

Yeah. Oh, you better believe there's eugenics laws that have been passed. Thanks, Obama. You mentioned Betsy DeVos made me think like Trump would have definitely overturned those. Yeah, oh, he definitely would have. That's it. We're done with the eugenics laws.

Those are out. It's going to be a fucking clone free-for-all. Your clone, not only is your clone alive, you get to watch him die. Let's just say, I've cloned Ivanka a bunch. It is new law. It is not incense if it's with a clone.

Technically, it's a meat sack that resembles my dog. Look, look, look, look. I never had to buy this clone Christmas presents. No, no, no, I won't need the urine analysis computer. I could do that myself. This is not Ivanka Trump. This is Ivanka Echo 4. Get over here, you little clone.

This is 2019. Correct. You need to set this way fucking farther in the future. That's what's obnoxious because later when we're running around Los Angeles, it's like sort of the future but not. It's like someone is riding the bus but also there's a fucking speed racer flying past. Yeah, like, okay. You need to figure that out a little bit better. So Michael Clark talking with, also there's robot surgery

like which looks really bad. Robot surgery is always terrifying. See Prometheus. Good God. That fucking bad. And they're like, sawing him open to get his liver and he wakes up in the middle of it freaks the fuck out rightfully so Michael. Of course your fucking chest is open Michael Clone Duncan, you know what I mean? You freak the fuck out.

Good night everybody. Fuck, fuck the Robotussin wore off. We gave him Robitusset and Jack Daniels mixed together. I thought I want to tagging him down. All right, Mr. Clone Duncan, here is your Z-Quil before surgery. We're going to give you a two-pils.

I thought it worked. I thought he was in sleep. We're going to treat him like he's a dad with a cold. A little Jack, a little robin tussethe. And this is actually, again, testament to Michael Clark Duncan, rest in peace,

he was an amazing actor. He is the best part of this movie. Like when he is screaming down this fucking hallway with like chest shit sticking out of him and he's like legitimately terrified looking, like hip-checking everybody. Those fucking fish hook guns. Oh, yeah.

What are these like Scorpion guns? Get over here, clone. It's a clone over here. Holy fucking shit. You know, I think him in Sub Zero might have been clones. Maybe rain too.

Oh, sure. Yeah, all the karate outfit guys. Oh, the Lin Kui. I think that that's the What? That's the order, I believe, is Lynn Koi. Oh, there's no reason you should know that.

There is not. I hope I'm right. So yeah, he's freaking out. He runs down his hallway. And yeah, they fucking fire these guns at him that are like fish hook. guns like a fischuk rifle it's fucking bone jean i mean like i guess that's maybe fucking uh uh you know uh sean bean needs to spend less time watching fucking hellraiser and more time

ordering surgical supplies look they were discontinued from smith and wesson i got him on the cheap i couldn't afford real guns oh yes sean bean i have such delicious clones to show you And he's screaming his head I want to live I don't want to die Yuma grig's like shitting his pants Of course wouldn't you be And he just saw a dude get fish hooked

And he just gets pulled back And they kill him And this is when you and McGreg is like Well I'm gonna leave this place And there is no island etc Yeah So he goes He wakes up Scarlet Johans

And it's like look We gotta get the fuck out of here Blah blah There is no island Don't worry about it And then this is when all of the chase sequences Begin the rest of the movie This is just because you're jealous

because I'm going to the island. That's what I would think too. Why isn't that going on? Well, that's, so that his whole attitude towards her is like really weird. Like obviously he likes her, etc.

Also he's 13 years old than she is, but you know, that's not going to be a problem. Well, he's three. So how old is she? She's four. Oh, wow. Look at this.

We're also told by the way that they are only educated to the level of a 15 year old. Yes. So these are just a couple of fucking exploratory teens, man. They're going to figure it out. Make out point on the island.

That's how they sell you. And the island is outfitted with three gyms, a jacuzzi, and a makeout point. Where you can neck in a parked car. Optional is the Zodiac Killer program. Oh, also it's weird. We get some jargon or lingo that they have here. they're watching the security footage and Jean Bean goes,

we have a product on the loose. Weird. You're not going to call it a person. No, I mean, I guess that's true. You're a man of science. Also, like, dude, like, put a little tag under the skin with all these, like, you know, like you do with pets.

But make it a little zapper, you know? Like, zap people from a distance. Like, oh, I'm zapping Echo 69 or whatever that dude's name is. I'm surprised you can't do more. Like, they track them with the pissballs. Yeah, in the eyeballs. Oh, the bots, the bot. But what the fuck are you talking about?

The bots, the bots that he pisses out later. I thought you're saying box. I thought you were saying balls. I heard balls because they're little balls. I guess they're little ball robots. Yeah. Speaking of balls, by the way, when they're trying to escape this facility, did everybody catch the fucking home alone trap that gets set here?

No. Like, they run around a corner. And then Euda McGregor puts in all this Christmas ornaments. It's close, dude. I made my family. it disappear. Somebody bumps into a box and a bunch of like ball bearings fall on the floor

and the security guard slips on one and slams his face against a pole. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. And then yeah, he gets fucking shot the face with a BB gun. Do you guys give up on your thirst for more? And then there's a great scene where he shaves for the first time.

Yes. I'm up here, you horses, arse. So, but there are some brutal fucking owns in this movie. There's a lot of wrench action in this movie. There are several wrenchingings that happen. Yeah. And, you know, I mean, like, it's a lot of, they escape through the security, whatever. And like all these guys that are coming after them, they just get wrenched to death. There's one dude. Literally tooled up. Right after the ball bearings thing, there's a dude who's beating the shit out of you, McGregor. And it's pretty funny. And then Scarlett Johansson

smashes him in the face with this wrench. And I think a similar, modeled wrench is used later. It's like the same size, same beautiful red handle, good for hitting. So he goes, they escape, and now they're in the middle of the Arizona desert. It's like, wait, what? Right. They run through a thing. There's actually a cool visual here, and I won't say that all about almost anything else in this movie.

When they go through the like exterior, like the hologram. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's like, oh, outside isn't a beautiful tropical paradise. they walk through like a holographic wall, which I thought was kind of a cool idea. But it just leads to more gross industrial-looking shit before they come out of this bunker. You forgot the room where it says,

important stuff will be important to the end of the movie stuff. Pay attention to that door. Now enter third build, by the way, Jim and Hun Su, which is kind of something. Yeah, I don't know what that was about. I mean, this is what, three years after. Ammastad? No, not Amosad.

What is the movie that he was, wasn't he nominated for, oh, what the, Blood Diamond? Fuck, no, no, no, no, no. The movie with Patty Constantine about the Irish immigrants. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Wasn't he nominated? In America. Yeah, wasn't he nominated for that movie? He might have been. I was kind of like 2001, 2002-ish. He was a stretch there where he was in a lot. I mean, and he's still, he's still working. He still comes in.

Well, he's in their Marvel movies. Isn't he's in those Galvards the galaxy movies? Am I crazy? He's in the first one? He's just in the first one? Does he eat shit at the end of that movie? I don't even remember now. He's like the, what are the bad guys? They're eating shit in these movies? My lord. Is that in the comic book, Steve?

Yeah, that's... That's canon. Shaw's eating shit. And I thought, wow, what if the guardians of the galaxy also ate shit? So, this is a weird, like, this scene is like too little too late because the audience has figured everything out for the most part,

but we see Sean Bean do like a sales pitch to all of these rich people and this is how Jemann Hansu's introduced because he like comes in on the pitch or whatever. Did everybody notice one of his henchmen is definitely also in Bad Boys too? As part of like that SWAT team at the end of the

movie? The big beard guy. Yes. You think he's like friends with Michael Bay or something's college roommate maybe? No I think like a stunt guy that he made some really hates his guts though but he's in every movie. Just a pal. We should say speaking of Bad Boys Bad Boys is on our Patreon feed right

That's right. Patreon.com slash we hate movies. That's the connective tissue. That's how we do this stuff. Michael Bubba Bay. Mm-hmm. The good stuff and the bad stuff. We're going to finally get them all, I think, at some point.

I mean, we're almost there because we did, we knocked out all those Transformers movies. That's like 70% of his dumb filmography. We've done Armageddon. We've done Armageddon. We just did Bad Boys. We did Bad Boys two ages ago. Transformers all. Right.

We're doing this right now. What's left is like the Rock. The Rock. That'll be a we love movie situation for sure. Painting Gain. We might never do. Oh, that's true. I think I'll never see that movie. That's all right. That's okay. I like that movie. You don't have to rush out to, well, not the video store. I mean, it's been like six years. I can't now rush out at all. I really like that's it. Like, you can't see a movie older than six years. No, I just don't care. I mean, like, it's an okay Michael Bay movie. Awesome. Yeah. Can't wait to see it. I would say it's a good Michael Bay movie. Okay. I think that's a good movie. Oh yeah. I really. good uh dwayne johnson i like that movie yeah yeah and uh tony shaloup is really funny in it oh right he's like the kingpin yeah yeah kind of character yeah it's not bad uh anyway so so sean

bean is like all right jemana hansu you're like a security expert that was recommended by the dod like black op stuff yeah and it's a weird thing where like jama hans who's like well you get all your money from the fucking d o d like why don't you just tell them what happened and he's like because this is such a bad cock up like i need this as off the books as you can get This is embarrassing. This will sink all of our funding. Well, this is, like, as bad as, like, getting, like, getting caught on camera at the Tigger Tate Parade when you used to call out a sick at work. You know what I mean? Like, it's like, oh, fuck, I could really get fucked for this.

And this is where you also get confirmation that government is involved because he's, like, the Department of Defense or something. Yeah, I just said, I literally just said that, like 47 seconds. Sorry, I didn't hear it. But to piggyback off that, to make it make sense, is the president of the United States is also a clone. Right. That's what I'm trying to get to is you get these random shots in before this ever drops of this random pervert just jumping up behind Ewan McGregor and be like, hey man, what's up? He's kind of like being an asshole to him. And I'm like, who is this guy going to?

Is that the head of the company? Yeah. And then it turns out it's the fucking president. And man, you know what, dude, you got to do something with that idea. That has to be like the third act of the movie somehow. That should be the entire plot because we always hear about how all these world leaders have all those doubles and dudes. The dupes, dude, like Saddam Hussein had those dupes. Exactly. Everyone had dupes.

If I was the president, I wouldn't allow myself to be cloned. Absolutely not. No way. What? Because then if I start voting the wrong way or doing something else, that's a good point. The deep state shows up and now my clone's in charge and I'm in a fucking body bag. But Steve, you just solved the story problem for this movie we're going to make. Because no, no, no, no, no. It is not the sitting president that has himself cloned.

The fucking evil secretary of defense, dude. You see him fucking take a hair off the dude's suit jacket or something. He's crooked. They're going to do that exact plan. They're going to fucking assassinate that dude. And then the clone comes in and he starts a vote in the way they want him. Excellent state of the union, sir. Excellent.

Spit in this cup. What if we came to a different understanding? We cloned the president and I was actually really the president. also spit this cup no reason you can also just spit on me if you like sir spit my mouth Mr. President spit in my mouth yes

thank you and the president has nothing to do that's actually very heavily featured in parts of the clonis horror I believe that's like part of the third act of that movie is like oh shit the president's involved oh so this movie that was covered by mystery science theater 3,000 does a better job with this idea than a multi-million dollar

Michael Bay movie yes and no yes because But then, like, the scope of it is, it's too big for what the budget is. It's just like, you see, like, two guys on a yacht. And somebody calls the other one Mr. President. It's like, okay. And the clones are super young, and the people they're cloned from are super old in that movies.

Oh, so they're, like, given more time to grow, I guess. Yeah, it's more of, I guess, a realistic. I mean, that's what I would want. I'd want, like, when I'm in my 60s and I've run this liver right into the ground, I would love a 20-year-olds. No, dude, how about the fucking, dude, not only that, don't stop there. Replace everything you can.

Overhaul, yeah, dude. Total Steve Overhaul. Steveerhal. No, the, but so like, Jim and Hensu's like, I will find anyone. I can, I'm this great black ops, a military guy. I could find anybody.

And then, like, they don't check the main road, like, what, two miles out? Like, how far could two people get in the middle of the desert? These are two clones that are. basically lived the life of room almost, a little better than room. It would have been more convenient if they predicted drones, which they

don't. Yes. You're, it's two people on foot in the fucking desert. They can't find them. But Jambud Hansu is like, fucking Sean Bean wanted like tier one operators to fucking take this all out. He hired a guy with three guys. Yeah. One of which

is a computer dude. So that's, you, in reality, you have three guys looking for your clones in a three-mile radius. I will say Michael Bay must have been furious because it took 40 minutes to get a helicopter in this movie. It's like, come on, can there be a, is there an earlier way to get a

helicopter? Exactly. Maybe when they're playing that cool Xbox, there's like a helicopter simulation that we can play instead of fighting. Yeah, instead of fighting, every single person is trained to fly a helicopter. It's around here. I just found it in my notes because

Sean Bean has to explain to Jemann Hansu. Because I think Jamon Hansu, rightfully, is like, what the fuck are you doing all this for? Why can't they just be jelly sacks? And he says something about without living the organs in the, they're called agnates, sure. Fail. Okay. That's how they dance around why it's not just a movie about jelly sacks.

Well, yeah. And the agnate that they show them, I mean, it looks like a puddle of shit. It looks like the thing in basket case, Belial, the fucking twin brother. brother. Yeah, totally. They wind up meeting up with Steve Buscemi. Long story short, they find some fucking biker bar that he frequents.

McGregor has a matchbook that he took from Steve Busemi's pornography layer. And now we're just doing fish out of water jokes, like the bartenders like, you know, do you want to jacked in? She's like, sure, is it straight up and she looks at the ceiling. You know what?

I am embarrassed to admit there were some legitimate laughs here. Okay. You and McGregor says, and the bartender, by the way, is the dude also from Armageddon. Well, I'm just surprised that they got all of Rob Zombie's cousins to come to this one place. Yeah, there is some hellbilly looking motherfuckers at this place. Got all 17 of them

to show up in this one scene. It's pretty amazing. The bartender is like, oh, he's in the can. And you, McGregor's like, he's in a can. And he's like, yeah, he's taking a dump. And he goes, taking it when? And then the culmination is he goes, I got to go find him.

He's out there taking a dump in a can or something? I was like, you know what? I have to sit here and watch the island. I'm going to try to make the most of it. That's kind of funny. I also laughed when he sticks his face right in a rattlesnake because he doesn't know what it is.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And the thing like kind of snaps at him. And he's like, it looks mean. That's the thing with Michael Bay. He will always wrench a guilt laugh out of you at least. Just one. All he has to do is one. Like an Armageddon dude, when Bruce Willis closes that door

and I was fucking laughing my hips off. Chearing. the uh so let him die let him die we get all that uh he uh assaults stebo shemby in the bathroom eric stone street has a cameo here not a camera just like you know he's just a working actor trying to make a buck in 2005 right he's like steepu shemies like truck driver friend and like we get some gay panic i was like wait what are you guys doing in the bathroom because steepu shemi is like taking a shit and e mcgregor like pulls him out of the stall with his pants down or whatever. And then, you know, right when Eric Stone street walks in, he's like, look, I can take

you back to my place and we can blah, blah, blah. I see anybody picking up Ewan McGregor in a bathroom. I'm like, good for you. Like, you know what I mean? I'm walking out like, holy shit. Wow, you and McGregor. Wow. He looks really clean for you. Especially when it's like Steve Buscemi. Like, wait, you believe that? Steve Buscemi just bagged Ewan McGregor in the bathroom. What a fucking score. I didn't know he was gay, but doesn't he? Wow. some of a rattlesnake down there shit so they go to

Steve Boucherty I don't know about so they go to Steve Bouchemey's house where he has like some lady friend anybody noticed the lady friend anyone notice who she's no Delta Burke no oh wait Shawnee Smith

who is oh saw Becker Becker uh saw and Armageddon she played this is a nod to Armic this is like a view of a

skewniverse level joke Oh, she's the woman from the bar on their, like, night before the mission? He's about to have sex with her, and then, like, they have to, he has to go away, like, the engaged lady or whatever. Oh, right. Oh, the lady. No, no, no, no, no. It's a nod to Becker. I can all say it.

It's a nod to Becker. A Becker verse, you think? Yes. He runs a business with Ted Dantzunson. So Steve Bouchemy agrees to help them. Well, there is some, like, misogynist of horse shit where he, like, his wife has asked all these questions. Sorry, I got to interrupt you. Is it about Becker?

It is, because I just realized on the Bad Boys Patreon episode, we noticed that a guy in that was from Becker. So the Michael Bay, Becker universe is fucking confirmed. I mean, the guy liked Becker. I mean, we know the dude. Well, who didn't? The guy liked Becker. And I think he needs to work with Ted Danson already.

Wow, Ted Danson in a Michael Bay movie. I don't see that happening. He'll have Quentin Tarantino directed an episode of ER or whatever. If Michael Bay directed an episode of a movie. of Becker. QT did an N-C-I-S or a C-S-I, I believe. It was a C-S-I, too. Yeah.

Like, I like the show. If he did a fucking Becker. It would be amazing. It's so weird when that happens, though. It's like, you know, oh, remember, uh, yeah, I remember that episode of fucking two broke girls directed by Martin Scorsesee? What? Remember that Becker where Ted Danson is fondling, uh, dismembered body parts and making

jokes about the body parts? Yeah, that was the one that was directed by Rob Zombie. Yeah, Michael Bays, Becker would be like the Bronx exploding. The director of the mass singer, directed by Barry Jenkins, it's excellent. It's an excellent episode of the best singers. How's that going, Steve? I'm way behind. Oh, that's two weeks behind.

How are you doing on your predictions? Are you guessing that mass singers? Are you seeing spoilers on the internet? No, it's very easy to ignore it because nobody I know watches it. Literally, no, it does not seep into my feet. Are you in a pool? Do you have your guesses down? It's a dead pool. Oh, dude, how about like, instead of fantasy football, like fantasy masks?

It's Steve's March Madness, dude. He's getting ready. Oh, do you have a bracket? I do not have a bracket. I don't know why I tell you guys anything. Whatever. So, like, yeah, Steve Bichemy agrees to help them. Right. He's got this, like, he tells his wife to shut. shut up a bunch and shoves are the fuck out of here.

He's like, hey, honey, remember that time? First of all, Shawnee Smith and Steve Bouchemy, again, this is like, what world are we living in? And then he's like, it's in the yeah, okay, averse. And he's like, hey, remember that talk we had about talking? And it's like, oh, God. Oh, Jesus, dude, that's why you work in a fucking pornography down in the secret underground layer.

And then he gives you and McGregor clothes, and then he goes to give Scarlet Johansson clothes and those sex outfits that are in there. I feel like those shouldn't occupy the same clothes. The closet space is the day-to-day wear. Well, no, he's very serious about it. You can tell. Of course.

Yeah, so we have to treat them well then. This started out as a Halloween costume, but eventually made its way into my regular rotation. That's literally everything in that closet. I can't wait for Amtrak in the year 2019, you guys. I don't know about you. We finally got these magnet light rail things. It looks amazing. And then even when we get to the city of Los Angeles, there's an amazing above ground.

subway system in Los Angeles. Yes, and in the year 2019. You need to set it out way further than this. You haven't flying trains. Dude, wouldn't fucking Doc Brown work on this shit. This needs to be like 2038. Yes, at least. 2030.

08. Yeah. But it's crazy because could you imagine being in 2019 right now and like this country invested in infrastructure and public transportation? Talk about fucking science fiction.

We just need to fucking take the fucking the foot off the break on the cloning and then we get the money. Seize the means of production. I agree. So there's a shootout in this train station. Bishimi gets it. But again, now the fuck uppery

is bleeding from Sean Bean's terribly run company into Jemann Hansu's terribly run company. There is no, like, this fucking assassin or whatever, this fucking security guy sees Steve Bouchemi

at this train station, this train, this public train station, and Steve Bichemey goes, run, and this dude just shoots Steve Bouchemy, he falls onto a bar and shatters all this liquor.

This is gorgeous. It's not only a bar, it's a bar that has glass shelving for every single liquor bottle, so he just goes through fucking everything. But how about,

We use a little bit of discretion here. You need some Michael Clayton motherfuckers. You know what I mean? They're dressed in suits. They're just, they have little syringes that knock you out. You get dragged away. It's all in one fluid motion,

Bing, bang, boom. See, you couldn't make a Michael Clayton. The Michael Hans for these, they keep on killing themselves. With what Sean Bean's been doing, the robotussing in the fucking medical field. But these guys are just machine gunners. They're not experts at anything.

You give me a machine gun. I could do that. I can shoot Steve Buscemi in the heart. What are you question him? so yeah it's just there's a huge shootout there's a great moment here where they're running again through some back door industrial room dude they go to fucking leatherface's house

yeah it's really weird but this is where there's a fucking great move where they grab like a nail gun yeah uh and she shoots this she shoots the nail gun like through the door and this dude's got all these nails in his hand pretty sweet of yeah it's sweet but there's no blood which is like what are we how like is that guy a clone Because these are red hot nails due to cauterize that shit when it went through.

You think so? No, I don't. It's just a bad movie. And they outsmart them by getting on the train. They were going to go on in the first place. Yeah, that's a really good point. Yeah. And they're sitting pretty comfortably in this couple of seats here.

Nobody was on it. Who cares? Let's just shoot. Speaking of leather face, who was mentioned earlier, they should enter like cloning into some of these horror franchises. Like let's say Jason gets cloned Sure I'm using that because it'd be better Because there's more of a character there

Sure And then he drowns as a baby again or whatever You know History repeats It'd be beautiful Well I mean I think that that would be like Your answer to keep something not Magical like there's the old like

Oh why is this why How can you make a slasher sequel? Clone him right Clown him and also he keeps escaping into the woods Or you can keep do scream And it's fucking Matthew Lillard comes back Oh clone him I was to suggest that Jason already has been cloned a couple times by the time we'd see him

because he's already scared of the water before he goes in it. So he's got those flashes of Ewan McGregor Flashback. Right. Oh, my God. I've been here before. Fuck. Oh, no. I have a memory of, I was on a lake, and I was about to fuck Scarlett Johansson in a boat.

Then I drowned. You want to go to the island, Jason. I was on a boat called the Revitonatan. Oh, instead of that lady going like, the island. It's like your mother. This is your mother, Jason. You want to go to the island. You want to go to the campsite.

Yes. And then they could use, and then obviously, the real Jason will then use his organs to stay alive. Oh, that makes sense. I'm trying to bring it back to the island. Jason, it's your mother. You don't want to drown, do you?

It's actually kind of a shame that Martin Clark Duncan died. He would have made a great Jason Voorhees. Oh, yeah. Oh, shit. Totally. Take that cane hot. Yeah, each shit. It's what a real actor

looks like playing Jason. So we're in Futuristic, L.A. You better believe, man, the presumption of the century right here. I think this is cinema's greatest presumption. I'm feeling what you're going to say. That in fucking downtown Los Angeles in 2019, there's a huge Johnny

Rockets open for business. Yo, whatever. Johnny Rockets. Wow, dude. Are you kidding me? What in the shit? I would have believed the Golden Corral for it.

Come on in. a golden corral. Bring your clone. I'm wearing a tuxeder in this commercial. Oh, there's two Jeff Foxworthies in this commercial. It's not computer effects. That's my clone. If you're a human being, but you're just got an organ on deck for another human being,

you just might be a human clone. That's a cursed thought. The entire blue collar comedy tour, voicing the fondue, the heating lamps. Oh, yeah. All the service trays coming around. Wait, wait, you're doing like a beauty of the beast of the Golden Corral, but with the blue-collar comedy guys. Hey, cool, I'm fond due.

I'm just the drink station, Ron White. The drink station. I'm Bill Ingval, your host. I'm actually Bill Inval. Hi, I'm just Bill Ingval. I just might be the dullest man in the entertainment industry. Ron White be the tater salad. Oh, of course.

Yeah, yeah. That's, I'm just the tater salad. Foxworthy is definitely the fondue, though. Do they have fondue at this place? Yeah, yeah. You can get like a cheese or a chocolate fondue, I believe. I didn't know it was a Swiss restaurant. Just cut to the chase

and just give me diarrhea. Yes, exactly. Just inject diarrhea. Fucking golden corral fondue. I think that's how they kill clones at fucking Merrick is they just inject them with diarrhea. I think that should be the slogan for this terrible restaurant

is Golden Corral. You asked for it. Fondu and fucking Golden Corral. Get out of here. If you wake up at 4 o'clock of the morning feeling like you just ate Apple Jacks on fire, you might have eaten

the Golden Corral that night. Man, was that all of them Ron White, Billingville. And Larry and Jeff. Yes. Ron Bill, Larry, and Jeff. They should have expanded that universe a little bit. Definitely.

Get like two or three more. Get a woman in the mix, possibly. I don't know if that's possible. No, no, no, no. But like, you should have definitely drafted Jeff Dunham. Oh, yes, exactly. Draff. Bring him up to the big leagues.

There's a new guy that's doing puppets that's now eclipsed him named like Randy Blair there. Please tell me that's just actually. It's honestly something like that. Comedy Central half hour for Randy Wigley. But that's what, it's another dude with puppets and it looks just like Jeff Dunnab with a goatee. It's like the evil Jeff Dunnell. Tonight on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert, we've got Meryl Streep, a performance by Jimmy E. World and new comedy sensation, Randy Bear Bear Bear Bear.

I don't think I'm. far off. Is this dude telling like racist puppet jokes like Jeff Fox or Jeff Donham? I don't know. I haven't seen the work quite yet. I'm going to Google Randy Puppets.

Yeah, that's me. Dude, you got yourself. The first result will be fucking Craig Jenkins. I guarantee it. Hey, if you got Randy Puppets, I'm not in right now. I'm taking a shift down at Golden Corral. But when I get back, It's puppet time.

And the puppets will be Randy. I googled Randy Puppet and it came up with Randy Feltface which is a puppet from Australia so that's not... Crikey, I'm a puppet. You know, no, we're just leaving it in. I wanted to be Randy Blang!

So, in any event, Bob Newhart, everybody. I didn't directly learn anything for Randy Bear Bear Bear. started my career decades before he did but that's one of my all-time favorite Simpsons guy

is the Krusty eulogy couldn't learn anything well directly from Krusty I'm here for a funeral I found it I found it I found it it it's not so there's Jeff Dunham and now it's Terry Fader

which I think Randy Barry Bramber is way better dude I think he's one of the top paid comedians in the world now is Terry Fader We've never heard of Well now when you start your

puppeting comedy career You can be Randy Brad there That's just my stage name Well all you guys go all right I'll become a Yeah I'll become a racist puppet comedian So in any event Their move the thrust of this part of the movie

is we need to find you and McGregor So that he can help us out We're told by the way that his original person What do they call donor? Yeah, they call him donors. Sponsors. His sponsor is in Los Angeles, so they're already in California. Scarlett's sponsor is in New York City in a coma and in desperate need of like a kidney transplant or some shit. You know from the beginning she's dead. She's not going to make. She's got two days, they say. I mean, that's like sort of also the thing too. There's this fake ticking clock where like, oh, we have to get her or else this woman's going to die. Right. And so we, it's really disingenuous on the part of Sean Bean because he just wants this whole thing covered over. Oh yeah. Yeah. It's a little bit. It's a real woman's going to die. It's a real woman's going to die. It's really disingenuous on the part of Sean Bean because he just wants this whole thing covered over. Oh yeah. It's. It's. It's. It's. It's Just hire an assassin at that point. Don't hire an extraction team, an assassin. Yeah.

So, again, another huge cinematic presumption here is that Google faded away and MSN fucking took over the world. It won the internet wars. And it's a weird thing where it's like you can just go to this MSN search kiosk and it will tell you where somebody lives. What are we talking about? Not only that, like she says the name, whatever it was, Sarah. Sarah Jordan, and it calls the house

and her kid picks up so you can just go and say any celebrity name and get their house. That's what we find out she's a model and an actress or something. She sees herself in a Calvin Klein ad which was also an actual Calvin Klein ad. So in this movie you have Scarlett Johansson,

the actress looking at a commercial that she actually did for Calvin Klein to sell shit in real life. So this movie is pretending it's a fake thing, but it's also selling you shit through a real commercial that they made and aired in the world. Sure. Product placement. And you see most of the commercial in the movie.

Absolutely. Pretty stunned. What the hell? Holy freaking shit. I was looking up Terry Fader puppets. I'm never sleeping again. He does, he has Michael Jackson as a puppet and he does a routine. Oh, no.

I bet those are some crude jokes. I also saw that he's got a soul singer character he likes to do as well. Oh, I'm sure that's a fantastic. Terry Fader, uh, white guy. Oh, yeah. You better believe it. You can you fucking shock. Pass it down, Steve.

Look at this guy. Oh, doesn't he look exactly like Jeff Dunham? He does. And you know what? I got to tell you this guy is, uh, just thinking about our, um, uh, uh, episode on, uh, uh, fucking, what the fuck was that fucking poppet movie? Uh, have a time. Happen time murders. This dude fucked a puppet.

Oh, definitely. Oh, and by the way, related images, uh, here he is with a, I believe a Donald Trump puppet on Fox News. Oh, very good. So that the guys named Terry Fader. Yes. Terry Fader. But it originally was a Dunham, Fox Trott, seven. Yeah, he's get, that's just a Donald Trump puppet and he's on Hannity. Hey, that's cool. I'm sure it's a very flattering. And that's one he fucked. It's the one with the biggest puppet mouth. So the, there is like,

they trace the call from the MSN booth. Sure. And now, and again, like, there's no discretion whatsoever. The police pick them up because they use a credit card that was Steve Bishemi's who's dead. So they're wanted in his murder. Because guess

what, fucking Jim and Hunts who don't fucking kill Steve Bushemi for no reason. Exactly. And this is fine. Or, like, pick him up and, like, put him in a warehouse and sweat him down and find out what he knows. Yep. And then fucking bury him in the fucking whatever. Now he's just missing. Sure.

Like, then you can shoot him in the chest. Sure. Not at that train station. Definitely not. That guy that's working with G. G. Monceu should be fired. There's also another great misogynistic joke here where he's like, all right, Scarlett Johansson. And you take the...

Actually, nope. You and McGregor, I'm going to give you a piece of advice. Never give a woman your credit card. Dude, I roll of the century. And somebody's stepdad. laughing. Somewhere somebody stepdad is laughing. In 2005 we're doing a women be

shopping up the mall joke. That is essentially that is a fucking sinbad joke right there wedged into this Michael Bay movie. This Michael Bay clone movie. So the cops are coming. This is like the start of the 40 minute chase scene which is the middle of this movie. Which turns into

just final destination because we get to see these I guess I had to read this online that they were train tires or something. They're all loaded on the barbells? Yes. Yes. Yeah.

Those aren't gods barbells. Turns out they're integral to the amazing utopian mass transit system we get in 2019. But before all of that, though, we have the chasing actually starts off with they run into a building classic elevator music joke right in the middle of it. That's just what you want. This like one assassin says the other one like, it's Monday or like whatever the fuck it is, busy day or something like that. They chase them around all this shit. They're hanging from this giant R outside of a building. It's like Robbins headquarters, I guess.

There's that P.C. Richards and Sons. The P is over there. The C's over there. And this, there's a chopper that's like shooting at them. This sign falls off this building. Yeah. And they somehow survive like falling off a skyscraper. It's insane.

And like you and McGreg has got like a cut on and says like, oh, that hurt. Did we talk about the hover bike shit? Well, we're getting... It's all kind of around here and around. I mean, none of this makes any sense. It's just like a chasing... They're flying on a hover bike. I think they might get to the R

and they stay in the logo after it runs out of juice or whatever. But... Yeah. Oh, the train wheels... I'm sorry, the train wheels are before the sign falls. Right.

So all of that shit. It doesn't matter. It's Michael Bay. There's explosions. That's a highway thing. That's part of what they stole from Transformers. They used that later in Transformers.

Right. Okay. So, but this hover bike, at one point, they fly through an office building. right through the window. And they just hit a dude in this office who has no idea

that he's going to get hit by a hover bike today. He's just walking back to his desk and he gets hit like in the dick with a fucking motorcycle that's flying. Is this your new fear now every day when... Now it's my new desire.

Lisa, I know it is Tuesday. I was wondering if you wanted to go out. Finally worked up the courage. Apparently this dude was like Almost murdered. Yeah, like, just an innocent extra bystander and he got caught in the thing.

And apparently, so the story goes, the stunt coordinator saw what happened and, like, hit the explosive to shatter the glass early or something. Otherwise, this dude just would have been probably fucking eviscerated. You think Michael Bay would have cared? You think Michael Bay would have went to the funeral of that guy?

Absolutely not. Yeah, definitely not. He would have sent, like, a card and a bunch of flowers. Yeah, flowers. Oh, nice arrangement. Oh, God, what the hell was his name? All right. my apologies to Randy blah blah

for your death I hope your mother well it's nice that he sent flowers but they're quite tacky very loud flowers there's a weird line when they fall off the building they land in like some netting and that's what saves their life

there's some guy that's like Jesus loves you oh my God this construction worker is like wow Jesus loves you and then he looks at Scarlett Johansen and he goes I know Jesus loves you. And I'm like, I get it, movie. She is attractive.

Let's move on. Well, you didn't get naked for me, so you gotta take it. Is that Michael Bay? Yeah. That's him getting angry. I thought that might have been Randy. But it's also interesting to note that this Christian construction worker views the world as in Jesus Christ, Lord and Savior, judges you by your cover.

Yeah. like that it's a descending order and then like people who might take more solace in faith you know like the disabled the people who need the human clones but don't get them they just left out in the cult also according to this guy then

ugly people are loved less by geez exactly that a couple of uggos fell off that skyscraver dude they'd just be fucking splat they'd be tater salad trying to dance around that but yes that's exactly what I was going to get to McGregor's place oh right yeah and this is we've been doing a Scottish

accent with McGregor as Lincoln 1-25 or whatever the fuck is bullshit. Lincoln Park is doing this bad American accent. The clone has the bad American accent. And then you meet up with you and McGregor who's just doing his you and McGregor's Scottish accent and that's the joke. It would be funny if

Ewan McGregor was just in the fat suit. Like the clone's an amazing shape and this guy's running his body right into the ground. I got to tell you, this him using his real voice was quite refreshing. Yes, exactly. Oh, thank God. And then like this clone is a wonderful mimic apparently because he just is like, oh, I could talk like you. Yes, it's very weird. He picks

it up like immediately though, because later in the film when he's pretending to be the real guy, it's just you and McGregor talking in a perfect Scottish accent. And he's just doing shite and all sorts of shit. Yeah, I was like, wait a second, though. This clone doesn't know what Scottish people are. No, he doesn't know what Scotland is. He didn't know what the word dude was fucking a day. That took me back, though, because I wish I could remember the time when I learned the word dude. Probably around the Nickelodeon television show, Hey, Dude. Probably.

Someone said, hey, dude. But when did you learn about Scotland when you found out that was a real place? I don't know. I don't know. It feels like I've just known about Scotland forever. Probably so I married an Axe murder. Hell yeah. I'll be honest.

Probably Scrooge McDuck. Oh, nice. That might have been there. Guys, those are just the implants they give everyone. They moved a couple details around here and there. Sometimes it's so I married an axe murder. Sometimes it's Scrooge McDuck. But you all don't know what Scotland is.

Well, that's a part of the thing they talk about is everybody's, there's 12 narratives in total. And one of them is a pink bike, like a girl company. So you know there's 12 of them, only two of them are for women probably. Yeah. And then, like, you are in this huge pool of women just talking about these fucking pink bikes. And, like, everybody's just like... That exact same thing happened. Oh, yeah.

My mom gave me cookies, too. That's what it's... It reminded me of Dark City a little bit. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Well, there's, again, like, because that's stupid city. That's where this takes place. Oh, right.

That's where... This movie's screenplay is so lazy. There is another throwaway line where someone is like, yeah, it's the same travel stories. It's Bushemi when he's telling you McGregor about it. in Bushchemi's house there's a big exposition scene and he's like yeah it's like 12 stories

they change him a little bit but they're mostly the same so like there it is that's how yeah that's the variety of it they change a little bit somehow and it's not important no one's ever going to think about this so McGregor is like whoa man my clones are around whoa man

speaking of so I married an ex he is this world famous boat designer boats bikes and cars oh okay yeah This man of power sees his clone walk in here, doesn't kill him right on the spot. He tries to. He hits him in the head of the golf club. No, he should have kept on going.

He stops. He stops once he notices it's his clone. Well, wouldn't you? No, if I, like, clone walks out, you kill it. You kill it. Well, you might want to stop if you want to fuck it, right? Yeah, that's rare opportunity to have a face clone, like a clone with a face. Or a threesome with yourself and Scarlet Johansson.

Now, that's the three-sum good thing. All right, let's all have, all right, everything's going to do it. Let's just have some dinner. Let's just have some, you know. You guys are crazy. You have to kill it. It's eventually going to try to kill you. Well, to be fair, actually, I think Cabin's kind of right because, remember, the real world you and McGregor character is just told that it's like a meat sack with organs and shit.

So he probably actually doesn't make the immediate connection that this is the clone from the, what's the mastodon? What's the company? Merrick. Merrick. Not the elephant man, though. Not the metal band. He should find. He should kill himself, but then he should take Scarlett Johansson, who is in, he would recognize from the real world because she's in commercials and whatnot. She's a very famous celebrity who apparently needs organs or whatever right now. Take it ransom. You know, take this quote. There you go. You know, you can probably make a lot of money on this clone. See, that's what this guy really does. In reality. No, but here he's like, yeah, hang out with me, my clode. But he does double cross, though.

How about the plot of taken, but with clones? By the way, you're going to be taken. And then they sell them to... You're going to take me. To, like, auctions for, like, rich people and... Well, actually, yes, this is a statement from Liam Neeson. That story I told. That was a story by my clone.

That's a fantasy my clone had. I would never think of something like that. You know what? Here's the thing. I've done a lot of movies in the last. 15 years. And you know, old Liam Neeson gets tired of doing the press junkets. So I send me clones

out. And that clone started mouthing off telling a story he wasn't authorized to tell. It'd be great if that blew the lid off the whole cloning industry that exists for celebrities. Normally, it's just if I have my liver dies. But

Oh, no, ladies and gentlemen, Neeson Gamma 7 will be destroyed by my good friend Mr. Merrick. Thank you. so much, Mr. Merrick. I'm going to do myself the honors and kill myself. If I kill myself, I mean kill my clones. But I'm going to

still live because I didn't do that. I didn't have that fantasy. That was a clone. Look at that. My clone in my house, eating my birthday cake. So, in any event. Oh, well, by the way, we need to mention it's a very important detail, I think.

Really sort of ties the film together. Gotcha. You and McGregor's real life, the sponsor. There's rich Scottish billionaire, such as he is, is a great host. Yes. And can I tell you why he's a great host? Yeah. Well, doesn't he have these clones break into his house and he offers them up an ice cold

Mick Ultra. Dude, the glistening 12-pack of Mick Ultra in a fucking ice-filled steel tub? This is how you know not to trust this man. Even as a clone that's been buried under the earth for the last three years, you should know this is an evil person. So he takes off They have this little wrist identification bracelet

He helps them get out of it And he's like, you know, I'm just going to go upstairs And make a couple of The ideas that they're going to go to the press And they're going to blow the whole lid off And they'll definitely do that After I go upstairs for 20 to 25 minutes Right. And this is where

So they see he has the television on And this is where the stupid total non-plot point of the president is making an address and he's like who is that guy I know him before and the guy's like Liam or Liam Neeson

Hugh McGregor is like oh it's the president I hate the piece of shite or whatever it is Did we hit that Ewin real life Lincoln has a rabid STD

Oh yeah That's what he's dying from his fucking advanced hepatitis And he's like something about like my wild past caught up with me really dude that's what you needed the clone for yeah well that's what happens when you fuck a clone oh you think so yeah i think that's probably where he got it he was he was first in line because you knew that came before the organ transplant thing i think fucking i'm just shocked that of course i mean clones are developed for fucking and organs period right

but i think it's a it's a clear it's it's first for fucking and then for yeah so i just i'm just astonished that you get the STDs from the clone? You'd think that'd be a pure... Pretty clean, yeah. But he was first in line. They didn't perfect it right off the gate. So they're birthing these clones with pre-loaded STDs? Well, you're forgetting who's in charge

of all of this. Merrick. Yeah. I think that's a little bit of a stretch, Kevin. Seems like a bad business move. Well, if you're cloning a guy with nothing but STDs, I mean, some might make it through. I guess that's true. And Merrick would use his own blood for the first batch. You just know that shit's swimming in there.

Is Merrick Sean Bean? Yes. Okay. I knew it was the name of the company. I just want to make sure. He calls up the Merrick Corporation. He's like, there's my fucking clone and me living room.

And it's like. He's really pissed off at this lady. I'd be, yeah, it's like a customer service thing. Right, which is kind of funny. Yeah. And whatever. So now Jim and Huntsu's on his way. And like, he's like, oh, well, we'll just go and me caught and we'll zip over to the news station.

I don't know which point. But at some point, like, Sean Bean has a. like a B plot essentially where he's like trying to figure out how you and McGregor is whatcha whatcha bunch buncha bunch of buncha right and like it's like oh it's this generation of clones he dispatches these guys to kill whatever the generation of clones that he is right

the echoes literally a couple of guys with box cutters start cutting open jelly sex that is how there's not a button that like and that's what I'm saying is like there should be a button that just like starves them of nutrients and they quietly die and then you put them

in the garbage no you don't like cut it out Mr. Merrick, we have this solution and it will take care of all of it really quickly, really painlessly. It's going to cost like $2,000. How much for a bunch of box cuts? $20, you say. Okay, just do that.

The one guy that was bitter about not being chosen to go to the island who's been there for like seven years, he gets a personal fatal injection from him. You know what's bullshit about that, though? I thought the same thing. And I think that is what it's supposed to be. He's at the end of the movie. Yes.

When they're all running out of the end of the movie, you fucking totally see that dude. I was like, wasn't he murdered? I think that maybe that's an alternate whatever, and like somebody fucking script supervisor fell down at their job. You know, I think they noticed at the very last second and be like, well, maybe there's two clums. Hey, some people survive having diarrhea injected into that.

Some people, very few people survive going to Golden Corral. But it does happen. Scarlett Johansson is going to wait back. at the lair, because she, she realized, he lies to her earlier in the movie and she's like, he's lying to you, he has the same lie in his eyes that you had that moment or whatever. Right, right, right. She's reading eyeballs in this movie, whatever. Sure.

So, yeah, it's, there's like a big chase again. It winds up a thing where it's like, no, he's the clone. No, he's the clone. And I don't know how Jaman Hansu misses this because they're both standing there just in front of God and everyone. Yeah. And Ewan McGregor, the clone, takes out the wristband and quite obviously places it over the sponsor. Yeah. And then he's like, no, see, there's the wristband.

Get him. And he shoots him dead. You've got to shoot them both. I'm sorry, like, that's the order. It's like, you can have Ewan McGregor, like, this boat designer walking around with this information. Like, this is like the deepest, darkest, deep web secret. Totally. You have to kill them both.

Salt the Earth. Yes. Well, I mean, not remember, like, not remembering Pop, I mean, like, Remember, every transformer changed the lineage of the transformers each movie. It's just all that in one movie now. He's just changing everything

whenever he likes. Listen, Cabin, I will put up with that bullshit when it's fucking sequel to sequel to sequel, but not in the same movie. Not in the same two hour and 16 minutes. You're talking to the wrong person, baby. God damn it, this movie is fucking Slop City. So he kills him and he's like, oh, good job, Jim and

Huntsy, you really killed that bastard. I'm so glad you finally noticed. the wristband that was on him the whole time. Now let's all go out for Ben and Jerry's ice cream. Oh, right. We see Scarlett Johansson enjoying. So we go back and like basically the idea is like,

all right, so we're in the clear baby. We can go on this boat and live forever. But, uh-oh, I think what they're going to do is kill all these clones. Right. So we have to break into the facility and do the thing. I love this sequence where they shove all these clones into a room that has like a jet engine on. This is a final solution.

I mean, I really feel like Sean Bean had this, like, maniacal list. It's like, I want to fuck a clone. I want to strangle a clone. I want to do it. Oh, you know, final solution to a bunch of clones. It's fine. Yeah, how about some clone genocide? Yeah, that's on the to do list.

I mean, have the decency to gas first. I mean, this straight up burning. It's funny. Oh, is that what is trying to burn? I thought they were gas in. I thought they were just burning them. No, Eric's right. It's a weird, like, it looks like there's like a jet engines turning on.

There's a weird blue light and something starts spinning. And then there's like smoke everywhere. Burn them to death. Wow. And then your Star Trek guy gets out of there once they finally get freed. And he looks his hair is on fire. He's got soot all over his face.

Okay, I thought that was just gas. Okay, I was way off. Also, before, so he makes the decision. No, no, you just stayed at Golden Corral. I've been off for days. They make the decision like, okay, we have to go. We're going to save all our clone friends. Not before some classic

bad time for this fucking that happens. Oh, yeah, dude. There's this sex scene. and this is a weird, like, they're making out, and E. McGregor has the line, this tongue thing is amazing. Yeah. It's like two children having sex.

It's pretty cool. Right. We're told they have the mental capacity of a 15-year-old. No, that's exactly what this is. It's just two teens that make out point. I don't want to see it. No, exactly. Well, it's very uncomfortable.

She's like, do that thing with your mouth again. And I'm like, you know what? Let's get to the next scene. She has seen from Moonrise Kingdom. Yeah. She has a thing too Like he says the thing about that The tongue thing is amazing

And she goes Oh just shut up And they like start going at it This I think the story was Michael Bay Was trying to insist that she do nudity In this movie Yeah he need to

He needed to show her boobers right here And that didn't happen Not gonna have Because would that have made it The first Michael Bay movie with nudity That's a good question Because there's no nudity in bad boys Yeah.

Yeah, Bad Boys would be the one. It's not in the Armaged. It's not in the... Well, no, she's clothed in the Rock. In Pearl Harbor, we see that the emperor for Hirohito has no clothes. Oh, wow.

Oh, right. Hirohito's just hanging brain in that movie. That was a weird choice for Pearl Harbor. For Michael Bay's Pearl Harbor, I actually want more of that. If it was something like that, I'd be a lot more happier. Sandwich Wiki, I'm going to take my shirt off now. We do see.

those robots naked. Yeah, they are naked the whole time. They're wearing just what the good Lord Unicron gave them. Hanging metal brain. So whatever, man, the last fucking action scene is we're taking this place down. So my question was, because when she goes to give the kids delicious

Ben and Jerry's ice cream, is that a ploy to get captured or was she too stupid because she used the credit cards? This really confused me. This really confused me. I swore this was in the plan. But no, I think you're right. I think it's just... They set up early. It's just the end of the joke.

Yeah, because they set up earlier, like, women shouldn't use credit cards. It's going to get them into trouble. Later, she uses a credit card, and that's what alerts you and Huntsu's guys to get her. Right, but so they weren't intent. Because this is how she gets back to the facility. Yes.

You and McGregor goes back in because they're like, hey, man, we fucked up and we need you to come in for that blood donation. If I'm this fucking donor, I'm like, you've got to be fucking kidding. At least they have the common courtesy to send a helicopter. Yeah, that's true. The woman's like, should we send a helicopter? let's say three o'clock see this was this would have been great if he had gotten like calling a couple

favors get a couple of celebrities to come in yeah be in the waiting room with him waiting to get there's get Arnold yeah hey have fun Bruce Bruce owes you a favor get Bruce back in he's getting that hair transplant get Randy for oh that's famous puppeteer Randy well there oh great the racist puppeteers coming in for another blood donation can't wait Oh, that's fucking wage. Did you just say racist actor? Because technically I only had a racist fantasy.

You know, I feel it's the appropriate time to tell everyone. I used to have a racist puppet act. I went around with a puppet and I had a racist puppet act. The guy from The Guardian grows another arm to write more notes. Why do they all have racist puppet acts? Because now Jeff done him and this Randy Flavor Terry Fader apparently. Randy Flavortown? Yeah, it's just, I don't know why.

I guess because they play, I don't know. I think that's the best, the quote unquote, best way to tell those jokes now. Right, it wasn't me, dude. I didn't say that racist joke. It was fucking Ahmed the dead terrorist. Yeah, exactly. My hand and mouth did it. It wasn't me.

It was my hand in mouth. Well, no, not your mouth, actually. The back of your throat because you're a fucking professional. Oh, wow. Jesus Christ, I hate ventralicism. No reason for it. Is there, wait, this is a question, though. And no one here knows the answer.

We're not going to look it up. I'm just putting it out into the world. Sure. Is there a famous ventriloquist comedy act right now that is not racist? That's a great question. I wouldn't know. I have no information. I wouldn't know.

I also wouldn't watch it, but I'm just curious. Based on evidence that I have available to me, the answer is no. The answer is a hard no. But you would think there'd be some idiot out there who is stupid enough to be like, I can be the counter program. Yeah. You have to imagine. No, that's not stupid at all, Cabin.

That's a fucking genius move. I don't want any puppeteers at all. I don't want them all. Here's a question, though, would a puppeteer, like a professional Muppet-grade puppeteer? Kevin Clash. Get offended by us calling a ventriloquist a puppeteer. Oh, that's a, you know, probably. I bet they wouldn't fucking piss on those people if they were hired.

Wait, wait, wait, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. The ventriloquists are more talented. They're doing the voice as well. Well, puppeteers. The Muppet people are doing the voice. Yeah, but you're not looking at their face. Yeah. There's a...

No, thank God. I guess I should be clear for Kevin Clash and all the other poor puppeteers. I meant the ventriloquists. Well, yes. Specifically, you call fucking Frank Oz a ventriloquist and he's going to fucking knock you down like Buzz Aldrin. It'll be your fucking death at a funeral, dude. Yeah, like that guy that said that the moon landing was fake. That guy...

One of the best videos of all time. Oh, yeah. Oh, you think Craig Oz is going to take me, okay. Oh, dude. Dude, Frank Gons would drop you like a bag of fucking dirt. Now I'm fantasizing about Kevin getting his ass handed to him. My Frank Goss, ooh, I'm going to sleep good tonight. Bring it on, old man.

It's just the fucking, it's the scene of the guster, one soiled. Oh, I like it. It's you, Chris. In any event. So, yeah, it's this big assault on the facility. She's got a gun. She's got a gun. There's a scene where Jim and Hunsu is part of some sort of a genocide.

And he's like, but that has given me. He's got like this tattoo or scarring that's like... He's branded. Yeah. Right. So he's got sympathy from his past towards clones. Because we should say also they do have like a branded number on them. And he notices that at one point.

And he's like, oh, that's kind of like me. But also like, do you have sympathy for all the people you've killed by accident in this investigation? Because that's like, I don't know, 200 people. These highways are a fucking blaze after that. You know what dude? He is able to separate that. That is he's a man doing a job. The R building thing, I mean, I don't know.

2,000 at least. Do you remember this, I had this thought while I was watching this. Do you remember it was a few years ago now that fucking crane fell in Midtown and it was like, it was just one crane and it fell and it was like horrible for weeks? Yeah, sure. That's like 40 times that accident. Like when that sign falls and all these people are in the middle of the street, shit's first. raining down on these people. Again, the president's coming back out

to talk again about that. Send my clone out. It was just a fucking thing falling. I don't even get the desire for you and McGregor and all them to live. I mean, just three years. Cut me up. It's a perfect time to die.

I don't know. He just had sex for the first time. Yeah. You want to write that out for at least two more times. I think so. So they like break into, there's like another hallway thing. Turns on them, by the way.

Yes. So he's on the side. of the angels. He's running around with scarlet at one point. She finds you and McGregor. There's a hilarious moment where she or he, I don't remember which one of them does it, shoots a scientist like in the leg.

Oh yeah. Well, this guy's like, they're going to cut you. Because it's right before she gets like, she's about to be, they catch her and they're like, okay, we're going to take her organs for that lady just to do it. Right, right, right. And it's like, oh, we're going to cut you up pretty sweetheart or whatever. Right. Yeah, so that's

the guy. Like, he breaks in or something. get shot the like, but there's another guy. Do you see this guy there's a scientist like cowering and begging for his life? Looks exactly like Jeff Bezos. Oh, really? I couldn't even believe it. Oh, yeah. That guy did kind of like. Right? Yeah. Dr. Doak.

Could have been back in the 2005. I just, it's because it's a moment that I really hate in this movie earlier on, right after their breakout and like that they're in the it's just because this movie hates the Scarlet Johansson character so much because it's directed by Michael Bay. Sure. You and McGregor turns to her and goes, you still think

there's an island? And it's like, you just learned five fucking minutes ago. You're throwing that in my face? Like, we all thought the island was around last yesterday, asshole. He said it one time and she was like, I don't know, maybe you're right.

Like she gave him a half agree, and that was enough. See, you stupid piece of shite? It's just, yeah, that they go to this whole action, it's like, you still think there's an island. And you know what? It's like, dude. You know, tone that shit down.

I think that was a fucking trailer line, though, if I'm not mistaken. Yeah, sure. In any event. There's a big fight now between Sean Bean and you and McGregor. It's a fucking good old fashioned wrench fight. This movie is as much about wrenches as it is about clones. Exactly.

I think it's 50-50. It's sort of like a factory clones' wrenches when they make them, you know, if you think about it. That's actually true, dude. They're all made from the same wrench mold. Yeah. And we bring back the grappling hook gun. that goes into you and McGregor's back and there's this, I can't even begin

to describe the last four. It's another jet engine. I think this was from the fucking extermination cell. And they're like hanging over other things and like Sean Bean's getting choked to death while you and McGregor is doing something. He gets shot in the neck as well. Oh right. With that fucking fish hook the fish hook gun, you and McGregor

shoots him right in the throat with that. And then kind of hanged too, right? He's hung by that, yeah. I was looking for an accidental Colombian necktie. Oh, shit. That would be cool. I would like, yeah, I would like some fucking throat blood on the floor kind of a thing. What are we, I mean, what are we doing? Why is this movie so bloodless?

Yeah, fucking. You should at least look like Gina Davis when she does the monster face and beetle juice. Yes, you know what, that's. Yeah, bare minimum. Bare minimum, beetle juice monster face, absolutely. So, yeah, this whole thing like crashes down. I don't even know what part of the facility this is. All the clones run out.

And then everyone was like, hey, Jim, and Sue, you're a good guy now. he goes, yes, and that's the end of that character. Yeah, he just leaves forever. He leaves like smiling at the two of them who are making out again. Because at the end it's, you know, it's a decent enough looking shot. It's like the desert. It's all these people in white and they're not

in white so they can find each other and they start like making out. They're wearing hip motorcycle black. I'm so glad to explore the world and find new people to maybe have intimacy with and maybe even have sex. We are together.

together now. Oh, come on, Cabin. That's the fucking adventure just ended. We don't know that. I don't. Yeah, fuck it. And that's the end of the movie. Whatever, yeah. I need an epilogue. Yeah, like, this movie needs two things. Well, it needs a lot of things, but two crucial things. It needs to open with a scroll.

Yeah. It explains what this whole thing is upfront. So we don't need that, like, Bouchemi scene. And I need a fucking post script. I really do. I want, like, the funeral for everyone that has happened. Like, at the end of Armageddon where we get that photo. Oh, yeah. Not enough framed photo funerals in this movie.

You wouldn't even know it's Shawnee Smith. Did she get a payout from the Merrick Corporation? No, no, no, no. How about just like 35 minutes of her handling the affairs? Well, that's what the one line at you, McGregor is like, once I find out how to get that boat into the water. Oh, yeah. I see how you got your boat in the water.

I don't know how you get that boat in that water. I mean, I don't know how you don't end this movie on a boat. Like, the beginning of the movie is up on the boat. It ends on the last shot. That's the last shot of the movie. I thought it was just them in the... No, you just turned it off. Oh, yeah, I think I just turned it off really quickly.

The last shot is the first shot. Like, they're on the boat having the adventure. On the Randy Bavavavat. Oh, the Randy Bavamabah. Oh, hell. Would anybody recommend this movie? No, it's two hours and 16 minutes long. It is really... Like, again, I think it tries to...

It thinks it's like making equal footing with Scarlett Johansson and Ewan McGregor, but it's not. Like, it despises her character. I think, because it's a Michael Bayne movie. And I think U.N. McGregor is really good in indie, low-fi stuff, action movie, Ewan McGregor, not so much.

I think he's actually the best part of those Clone, those Star Wars movies. Speaking of the clones. Attack of the Clones? You're right. I saw that video recently again. Where he's laughing at it. It's so good.

No, this is like, I think this is one of my least favorite Bayes, I think. Oh, no, this is better than all the transatlans. I think you're really every single transformer I think I agree with that I think it might be better than some of them Yeah, I think it's literally anyone anyone anyone any day Anyone anything that's crazy to me we don't have we this is like there's human characters and those Yes, like the fucking are falling off the building is now your leading man I see I'm sorry I prefer the leading man as the R

Yeah I didn't get anything out like the thing I like about bay the things I like about bay aren't really here other than like a couple good explosions, a couple good car crashes. But yeah, no. Yeah, I would say no as well. No, thank you. Short and sweet. Yeah, it's a, it's two hours and 16 minutes, which I think sort of disqualifies it as a hangover movie because it's so like muddy and obnoxious and repetitive that when you add the TNT runtime to that,

it's going to get a lot. You're just so fucking frustrated. And it's really boring. But I'll say, you know what two Michael Bay movies that are definitely worse than this 13 hours and fucking Pearl Harbor yeah I think Pearl Harbor might just be his worst I've never seen it self-serious Bay is the worst it fucking stinks to high head some might say worse than the actual events that are described but I wouldn't say that certainly nobody here

no one no one in this room certain puppets might say right that that's how you do it or my clone That is the island from 2005, directed by Michael Bay. For more We Hate Movies, check out patreon.com slash we hate movies for all sorts of bonus shit, including, of course, the Michael Bay Bad Boys episode. Oh, yeah. We're going on tour in mid to late April, April 22nd through April 25th. I'd call that late April.

Yeah, it's pretty close to late April. It is late April. East Coast, you can, W.H.M., we're going to New York, Boston, D.C., Philadelphia. And all Nicholas Cage movies go to We hate, WHMpodcast.com slash and hit on that tour tap. There it is. One of these days, you will know the URL to our website. I won't. You know what? Let's just say no.

Well, the thing is, good thing is you're a fan of the show if you're listening to this, so you know what it is. But if you're a new listener and you just happen to be a fan of the island, check out that Patreon. More bonus content to be fan. Now, Steve Sadek, what I hope you do know is what we're talking about next week, because as always, we hate movies rolls on. That's right. We are in actual listener request month next month. Bingo, bango, baby. Next week, actually, starting with Prince of Persia. Jake Gyllenhaal video game adaptation.

I think it's Ben Kingsley as the villain. Maybe. I believe. Well, you know what, Chris Cabin, all these questions and more will be answered next week when we finally actually watch that movie because nobody has seen it yet. One day I will. We'll find out what a Prince of Persia actually is. So until next week, I'm Andrew Juppin.

Steven Sadek. Chris Cabin. Eric Sis. Take it easy. That was a hit gum podcast.