We Hate Movies - S9 Ep420: Episode 420 - Dude, Where's My Car?

Episode Date: May 7, 2019

On this episode, the gang celebrates reaching episode 420 (GET IT?) by chatting about the absolutely abhorrent faux-stoner comedy, Dude, Where's My Car? How did some of these "jokes" make it to the final cut? What's with this Hal Sparks-worshipping alien cult? And why is NO ONE smoking weed? PLUS: Would Buster Keaton ever eat a pizza? Dude, Where's My Car? stars Ashton Kutcher, Sean William Scott, Jennifer Garner, Marla Sokoloff, Kristy Swanson, David Herman, Hal Sparks, Charlie O'Connell, Mary Lynn Rajskub, Stuttering John Melendez, and Michael Bower; directed by Danny Leiner. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This week on the program, I think we've hit peak stupidity. It's dude, where's my car? I'm Andrew Jupin. Steven Sadak. Chris Kavana. Eric Sweetska. And we hate movies. Good God.

Episode 420. Oh, yeah. Hello, everyone, welcome to we hate movies, a comedy show where we take movies and use them as a jumping off point for semi to ridiculously hilarious discussion. Well, calm down. Eric had to use an inhaler there for a little bit. It's true. On 420 for some reason. That's right. It is 420. We're dropping this episode. How fucking clever of us. This is Dude Where's My Car from the year 2000, directed by Danny Liner, RIP.

Yes. And we are all so stoned right now. We can't see straight. It's so sick, dude. It's so stonerific. The colors. You know, I've been smoking marijuana now. On and off, on and off, mom, on and off for about... Allegedly. Yeah, for about, you know, well over neat and I, 20 years. Sure.

And I've never liked stoner culture. Not even for a second. I've never liked watching people get high when I wasn't high. I've never liked people pretending to be high. Why would you want to watch people get high? That's what this, not this movie, but like those Cheech and Chong movies. It's like, oh, cool, man. That guy is getting high.

Well, you've got to be, like, doing it along with them is the deal. That's the 4D experience, brother. You know, a 2D is plenty. That's plenty of D's. I never liked watching my dad get belligerently drunk until I could do it while watching it. Oh, can I pause for a second? Steve Zanex stars in plenty of D's.

Yeah. Oh, dude, don't worry about it. That's plenty of Ds to have. Speaking of, you'd rather be doing than watching. Yeah, man, I don't know. I mean, you guys know my fucking rap on this show, but I'm in Steve's boat. yeah really what that you don't like stoner culture yeah it's just it's always obnoxious

because it's so it's the same here's the other thing here's what i can equate it to you right i really love the grateful dead sure it's obnoxious it's listen to me shut the fuck up and listen to me for a second it is i hate everything associated with it that that gives that a bad name you know what i'm saying like obnoxious music fans obnoxious weed fans you're constantly fucking talking about how great it is Like, there's a limit to everything like that. And it just, you ruin it when you're really doing it like that. And this movie, I don't think falls into that because this movie is even worse.

You don't see anybody doing shit. Somebody fucking smoked something. You see a dog smoke weed. For the record, I like Cheech and Chong movies. Okay. Not all of them. Sure. But the first couple are cool.

Up in Smoke's good. By the way, ruin it when you do it, which I like. That's your album that's coming out. ruin it when you're doing it. That's right, man. Yeah, I don't know. And I mean, but I guess at the same time,

Big Lebowski's my favorite movie, but that's not a stoner comedy. About a stoner. Sort of kind of. Kind of sort of, yeah. That's the thing, it's hard to... And some of those fans could fucking tone it down, too.

Oh, absolutely. I'm not going to a fucking convention anytime soon. Thanks, anyway. Everybody's really great. Everyone's really nice, but I just, you know, it's all not for me.

I can't. I can't. I can't go to movie parties like that. I'm never going to go to a cold-along. None of it. You know, I grew up, like, in stoner culture, surrounded by, you know, because there's Woodstock hippies.

The original festival was down in Bethel, and Woodstock 94 was the one down the street from me. Oh. A little contrast there. But I grew up hating stoner culture and everything that goes with it. And to the point where it's like I left home, I'm like, I don't see.

What do you mean there's not a head shop next to the school bus stop? you know like there was head shops anyway so then I feel like I came back around to it that I'm just not in like a positive totally positive way but like stoner culture I'm just like yeah sure fine

have fun I guess just to I mean to clarify because I'm not like anti head shops and shit obviously I just don't like the over fandom of it like if people let it just a second ago you broke a bong over your knee it's the same thing with fish the band fish it's another thing it's like

fish is a great band filled with great musicians. You hear someone talk ad nauseum about fish for an hour and a half. But fish and Grateful Dead don't make their money off of their music, really. I mean, it's just the stoner culture that, yeah, hangs out with it, travels with them. It's the experience of that. Here's the thing. Smoke and pot with your friends, A number one, A-O-K.

Having mud flaps that reference that experience, not okay. So you're saying deadheads? Yeah. No, I mean, just in general. I don't know what any of you are talking about. I reject marijuana in all its form I think here's what it is starting when exactly

now okay good I think here's how you can do the mudflap thing Steve you just kind of inspired me I use marijuana sure I'll never wear a fucking hat

or a t-shirt with a marijuana leaf on it no no no I'm never going to have a thing that says gas grass or ass all are acceptable like clever bumper stickers similarly I think it's also because it's like stoner culture is teen culture because it's illegal so it's cool yeah i'm not walking around with a beer shirt on either no i mean absolutely not i'm drinking beer constantly right but i'm not wearing the

product is beer fandom i guess so that's to clarify like beer fandom versus beer culture i love traveling to breweries taking the tours doing the sampling things i'm not yeah i'm not wearing a t-shirt with a beer mug what about a one tequila two tequila three tequila flora shirt anything that could be sold on a boardwalk is none of my business. It's just something that I don't want anything to do with. We're just taking a trash, like stand against trash culture. Yeah, yeah, exactly.

It's all trash fan culture. Thus ends this episode of the Not Dads Club podcast that we are just starting now. I say do what you want. Have fun with it. You don't need to be wearing the t-shirt that says the thing you're doing, though. I got to say, much easier to get away with stuff.

You're wearing something low-key. You know what I mean? You fit into society a little bit. Suddenly, Mr. Police is not looking at you right away. Even though you gave him all the clues. That movie is sad. I will say Danny Liner, by the way, because again, rest in peace. This movie sucks ass, but a few years later, he directed what I think is a legitimately good stoner comedy,

Harold and Kumar go to White Castle. Okay. That is a movie that I've seen also. Wait, wait, Steve's poop-pooing it. Yeah, no, I know he doesn't like it. I've heard his rant already on this. That okay means I hated this. I just never can get into it.

It's totally fine. I was, why are you getting up his asshole about it? I said a thing that I like. I want to look up the asshole a little bit. No, you don't, dude. I'm just like saying, this is how extreme you're going with it. Even Harold and Kumar. It's not just that stereotypical.

Dave's not here, man. Yes. It extends all the way to beloved white. Castle, which is the best hamburger in America. And the movie's not bad. The sequels are trash. I will say the the only one that I really love is half-baked.

Love me from half-baked. That is a movie that was ruined for me because of the fans of the movie. That was another thing. And then Comedy Central played that. Absolutely. This actually reminded me a bit of half-baked. Yeah. Because you got like the dude living in the house

with them. It's almost like the same joke that they did it again for this movie. Man, but in this movie, it's fucking stuttering John Melendez, by the way. Oh, that's stuttering John? That's why I texted last night fucking stuttering John in this movie. You just texts sometimes. I'm just thinking about random Howard Stern lackeys. Yeah. So I guess this movie is about two stoners who wake up from a crazy night. They cannot find their car and they're trying to piece it together. They can't remember anything. Anything at all. Because if you take, no, listen, there's some younger listeners, and if you take a, the instant

you take a puff of the devil's lattice, you're going to lose your mind. You're going to lose. You're going to have amnesia. I would argue this movie really isn't a stoner company because they don't talk about it that often at all. It's more like getting drunk.

Like, and getting fucked up, quote on quote. And that's the thing. In the year of our Lord zebra head. Oh, yeah, zebra head on this soundtrack, a band I used to listen to. Now, but this is the thing, though. And Kevin brings up a good point. We sort of mentioned you don't see them doing anything in this movie

they are talking about like being yeah messed up when you see the sight of like the rager it's just there's like solo cups everywhere but this movie also I just looked it up to be sure and it's so dumb that it is is rated PG 13

what are we doing there are some bongs out on the table they are identified as stoners by other characters yes but that's like the work around where like half baked actually got into details and like hit home yes but this wants to Open to that larger audience. I will say this is in the kids.

Yes, yes. This is in the... Oh, yeah, open to a larger audience of kids, the Larry Clark story. Come see my movies. You want to see some pubic hair from a 17-year-old? Hey, man, it's just pubes. No lore against that. I turned down, dude, where's my car?

Because I wanted to cast only nine-year-olds. It was going to be called, dude, where's my kids? Which is what my actor's parents often tell me. Ew. How did we get to Larry Clark? No, that's the culture Steve Lime. No, incorrect. You're wearing a kid's t-shirt right now.

Absolutely not. God damn it. No, the... It's not from the movie kids. It's just a picture of children on a t-shirt. You're fucking stupid Ken Park baseball hat. It's free cars for kids t-shirt.

You get them on the subway sometime. But this is also in... Speaking of the... I'll give you a car for a kid. I'm Larry Clark. I'm trying to cast a movie. No, where I was going was the... Oh, sure.

Engine was flooded? No, the... It was just vapor long. God damn it. The whole point of... Yeah. They're smoking, but they're not smoking. We don't see it.

It's more explicit than Bill and Ted, which I think this borrows a lot from. Yeah. Bill and Ted are quote-unquote, like, the gag is kind of sort of their high the whole time, but you never... They never talk about it. They never say it.

They're just, like, stupid and likable. They're sitting outside the... Circle K, asking random people, when did the Mongols rule China? They are high in those movies. I think the theory I have about Bill and Ted or what I choose to believe about those characters is the night before this movie starts, or Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure starts,

they have smoked the most powerful weed and consumed the most powerful edibles so that by the time we meet up with them, they're just stoned the whole time they don't have to re-up it's still just coursing through their vein I'm willing to believe it just because they're touched by the time lords

what am I going to do I'd probably act like that if I was a time master but now with the with the dudes cars guys yeah sure yeah couldn't that be true for them too they did establish this rager of a party

no because they do mention though that this is where the movie kind of gets off track too. They get distracted. They do intend to smoke weed in this movie because they have to get as fucked up as they were the night before to retrace their steps. And we do see some marijuana, we'll get there, but a dog

does smoke pot, so something is shown smoking pot. This movie starts with something that I hate because it's never been a joke ever and multiple things have done it. Based on actual events gag, when you know

full well that the movie is not based on actual events. It's never been fucking funny and the example can't be better than here. One example, it was very funny and was Fargo. Oh yeah. Damn, you got me dead to rights on that. But it does not work here.

But this movie is not Fargo. It is not. And Noah Hawley didn't even have anything to do with it. It's the Fargo. Of Stoner Comedy. Fargo's my favorite stoner comedy. Watching Jerry Linda Garden fucking try to dig the ice out of his windshield. Fuck you. It's funny to watch while I toke.

we have a terrible credit intro here which when you look back on the movie you realize is like all the things they've done the night before but just in this really bad like year 2000 music video sneaker pim horse shit i will say if if somebody was like what was the year 2000 exactly like this is correct i would show them this movie this movie absolutely encapsulates the year of our lord two zero zero it's amazing perfectly it's amazing it's amazing amazing. Because the hair, down to the haircuts, the styles. The people that were allowed to be seen in the movie. Absolutely. Like Tom Green should have been in it, but they couldn't afford him. It's shocking that he's not. Yeah. That's where

Andy Dick comes from. They're like either, well, you know, just get that outfit. Either Andy Dick will fit into it, but hopefully Tom Green will fit into it. Isn't there that hilarious picture somewhere of the two of them dressed like the other person in the book exactly the same? So I think you might be right there, Steve. Many times did Andy Dick get a job

That should have gone to Tom Green But Tom Green said no I think that's how that works Well he had to finish Freddy got fingered The masterpiece had to be Right It's him inside of an editing bay

With reels of film I shan't be disturbed It's a burnt out cigarettes Bile man That movie is trash It is awful Absolutely So this is the story

of Jesse and Chester Jesse is Ashton Coucher Chester is Sean Williams Scott fresh off of that first American Pie movie I believe that was 99 That sounds right And I also believe that that 70s show

had been on the air for a little bit at this point So like Ashton Coucher is kind of the bigger commodity here And yeah So they wake up They can't remember what happened They're in trouble And this is another fucking ripping off from Bill and Ted They're in trouble with their like team girlfriend

Yeah Like Bill and Ted, they have the babes. This is the twins, which is a weird thing. I just feel like these guys are simpatico. They have to get erections next to each other. That's the whole thing. It's always about, it's a team sport. It's like a Larry Clark movie.

Because they are half naked playing thumb wars. And they're just like laying around together. Aren't they virgins? Like, because they make a whole big deal about how they haven't had sex with their girlfriend. I don't think they're virgins, but they're virgins. girls might be because they're talking about, well, yeah, I guess. I think they are. Yeah. I was wondering if they were Mormon because like they've been dating these girls for over a year and a half. And it's like, we might, we might get sex, brother man. I'm like, what year is it?

Is that a tenant of the church of Latter-day Saints? Maybe. Do both of them have to turn their key? Well, there is like that one moment where Ashton Coochers kissing somebody and Sean William Scott is like looking and licking his lips like a cartoon wolf. Yeah. But when they, meet up with Christy Swanson later they're like oh yeah and like you know Ashen Coucher grabs her boobs like I get the other one right it's like what is this what is this friendship he definitely he doesn't know how to

touch a boot yeah like he's just like they're jerking off together oh yeah absolutely one TV we're sharing the porn tape exactly like and no one's gonna think twice about it if the other one whips it out and just starts fucking defoeing all over the place exactly I'm not even

passing judgment I'm just saying these two have team erections all the time. And I think it's so much so that like everyone else around them sees them as one person because Christy Swanson, when, you know, Ashton Coucher's feeling her up and then Charlotte William Scott goes in for the other one. Yeah. She's just acting like she's looking like at one person.

Yeah, that's all it is. It's like that guy is feeling me up with both hands. But I feel like at one point there was like, oh, you know, I'm going to go date Becca Kapowski. And the other guys are, well, how's that going to work? If you got like a best friend or a Twitter? Or something? Is she with someone else all of the time?

With best friends or brother? That's not going to work. You're right. They should have been shot more like Dead Ringers. Kind of sort of. Can we share her? Oh. So they wake up, they're messed up.

I always hate title cards in movies that don't need title cards. Like, I'll get that he's Jesse and I'll get that he's Chester. I will get there. Yeah. But aren't they doing it as a joke? Like, because they just randomly do it throughout. the movie. It's a joke. Yeah, it's like because they pick like stupid people to do it with. Like it's when the big monster, the supermodel monster happens. They're like supermodel monster.

You also get it right here with Mr. Pizza Koli, who's like, so they're pizza delivery guys. Their boss comes stomping to the house. Like you were supposed to deliver 40 pizzas. None of them got anywhere. And they're like the gag is the apartment just has pizza all over the place. And when he comes up, it's like, ding, Mr. Pizza Coli. Okay, and he's screaming at them, and, like, there's this gag where the, Ash and Kutcher throws the pizza up on the ceiling, and it's going to fall down, and it's like, oh, look, a unicorn, oh, look, a whatever. And this is what you call stupid humor, right?

Like, the idea is, like, that was stupid, but it made me laugh, though, kind of stuff. It is stupid now, back when Buster Keaton first did it. Very smart. Oh, back when Buster Keaton threw their pizza on the ceiling? Yeah, that was great. Buster he probably never ate pizza I guarantee you that Really? Yeah I think he never ate it

Because he hated Italian so much I just don't think we were eating that much pizza You're not like going to you know You gotta go out for pizza Think about the core that that guy had to have He probably like a piece of bread and water I bet you anything That around the time he was in that episode

Of the Twilight Zone he's eating pizza Well back then I don't know if I could eat an ethnic food Pizza pie What is this? What am I on vacation? I got to get to a gondola. Hi, I'm Buster Keaton. You never knew how I sound like. I sound a lot like this. I'm going to get inside of a gondel and eat a pizza pie. So that's why talkies didn't work for him. Should I put a hair grease in my hair then and grow a big of moustache

to eat a pizza pie? Pepperoni? I'll do without. Give me a nice American sandwich, please. You got a ham pizza? I'll take a ham pizza. that'd be the ham sandwich. So their girlfriend's call, it is the day of their anniversary, and it's the old, oh, did we forget presents? No, we bought them presents. They're in the car.

And this is the thrust of the movie is they go out. The car is missing, and we need to get the anniversary presents for the babes and the film, such as it is, goes from there. Well, we can't say babes because we would get sued. We have to say twins all the time. We have to say twins.

would, like, literally get sued if we said babes. If we called these two of babes, we would get sued. We're going to get sued or there? No, no, they would get sued by the Bill and Tennis. Oh, yeah, oh, you're absolutely right. They have to say twins. They have to say twins. You're absolutely right.

And the twins are Jennifer Garner and Maya Solokoff, I think, is the other lady's name? Yep, Marla. Marla Sokoloff. Wanda and Wilma. Jennifer Garner, Jennifer Garner. Marla Solokov was on Full House for a special. Bell did a lot of TV. Jews is just a 2000s actress.

She's in whatever it takes. Probably. She was in sugar and spice. She's. And everything nice? She's a, no, just sugar in space.

Yeah, it's just. She reprises her role of Gia on Fuller House apparently. Oh, wow. Yeah, that's great. She was like the one

that like always tried to steer Stephanie the wrong way. That's right. She was a bad friend. Her biggest thing, though, she was on the practice for almost all of that show. Well, it makes perfect. Jesus Christ.

You know, sometimes, man, sometimes. The dad alarm. Yeah, dude, the fucking dad alarm goes off. Hey, I'm not the one telling the kids, don't be interested in stoner culture. I'm cool, dad. Do it here in the basement. I'm not, all right.

You know what? So they're concerned because if they don't have the twins' anniversary presents, by the way, they're also not going to get late or as they refer to it in this movie multiple times, none of which are funny, as special treats. We're going to get special. That's again the Mormon thing. That's where I got a virgin. I'm telling you they're virgins.

Yeah, that's probably true. Special treats means sex to them, right? Because the twins say that they're going to get special treats. Yes. And they just interpret that as sex. They just think it's going to be sex for no reason. It's not like they're talking about sex. No.

And also, you should be suspicious of anyone who actually. uses special treats as a euphemism for sex because that's fucking weird. It is weird. Special treats are things your grandmother gives you. Oh, come here. Come here, Jesse and Chester. I'm going to give you some special treats.

Well, maybe they're going to have a boucher. Wow, wow. Oh, boy, Jesse and Chester, that was fantastic. I haven't given a blumpkin since I've met Buster Keaton. Oh, yeah, Buster loved Blumkins. He got his name Buster because he was

busted. Nuts. Yes, I gave Buster plenty special treats. Ew. I got to do a blumpkin? What do I got? I'm going to put hair grease in my hair now?

Giving people blumpkins all of his shud. What about a good old-fashioned American blowjob? Whatever happened to that? So he's resisting? Absolutely. I mean, I only got an outhouse.

It's the only way we're doing this. Not a lot of floor space in there for a blumpkin. I'm going to leave the door open. You think I'm getting a blumpkin with a door open, but you got another thing coming. I'm going to be honest with you, the smell leaves something to be desired.

Listen, in my day, sex was just one and two things, and you know what they are. Fucking and then falling asleep afterwards. Okay, maybe he can just rub it a little bit. By the way, him falling asleep afterwards would be very funny, very comedic. The special treats, though, reminds me, maybe Jennifer Gardner and Marla Sokoloff are into grandma sex. You get, like, dressed up like a grandma. You put on a sweater. Of course.

You get a fucking Walker going? Is that a thing? No, I just made that up. Okay, because you know some weird sex stuff that like every once in a while. I'm like, what the fuck is that real? And you're like, yeah, dude, there's like four documentaries about it on YouTube.

And I'm like, all right, Steve. I guarantee it's real. There's definitely, I'm sure there's some of the grandma sex. There's definitely some grandpa kink out there. Yeah, you got to stop watching bad grandpa all the time. Because I know that DVD is worn out. I'm just worn thin. And you're the last person to buy a DVD of bad grandpa.

And dirty grandpa complete the same. so yeah so they want to go out to the car get the gifts so they can go get laid the car is gone that they just assume they've bought right yeah no real indication as to whether or not they actually have a purchase these gifts by the way there is and I'm gonna own up to it when it happened because it was happening a few times while I was watching this movie

because also I'm method watching man I had to be in the right head space for just watching this agonizing film and it was still agonizing in that headspace but this scene where they're trying to hitch a ride from local neighbors and in both instances get run down by the cars, I'm kind of laughing. It's kind of funny because the neighbors see them

and they just want to hit them with the cars. And like when Ashton Kudger gets hit first and then he has a line like, oh, I guess she didn't see you or something. Okay, legitimate laugh number one. I think that's okay, but it's a bad omen of what's to come. There's a lot of that was funny, so let's do it 100,000 times. A lot of repeated jokes so they can both, like, get... I wonder if it was a thing where they were fighting for, like, you know, like, who gets the better jokes?

And it's like, well, if he's going to get hit by a car, then I'm... You better believe Steve Stiffler's getting hit by a car right afterwards. I think this was the, what do you call it there? This was the Ashton Coucher show. I just feel like he was already kind of a commodity and, you know... I mean, like, people liked American Pie and liked him in that movie, but he's like Fifth Bill. And Sean William Scott, yeah, and he's much more of the babe. I always say.

Ashton Coucher is the hot one. Ashton Coucher is the one who owns the car, by the. He's the owner of the titular car. He's the more successful loser. I have never turned my key on Ashton Coochard. I've always despised literally everything he's been in. Am I alone in that? I watched a good chunk of that 70s show and I was into it.

I'll admit to me. I haven't rewatched it in years. I don't know if it holds up. I mean, I do remember not hating that 70s show. but I don't think he was not the reason I was watching it. No, that's to be fair, damn sure. Do you know that he's on a secret TV show right now?

What? That thing on Netflix? That dude also got kicked off of? Nobody knew. I've never heard of this thing. I've reviewed it. Oh, the rant. It's called the ranch.

It's worse than anything you're imagining. I prefer the nacho cheese. It is... Dad alert. We got a dad alert. It is the... So it's like him and like Sam Elliott. Sam Elliott.

That's what's most offensive to me. me about that show. It's Danny Masterson and Ashton Coucher's brothers. Oh, okay. Ashton Coucher used to, it was like, going to be a great athlete and then something happened. He comes home to run the business under Sam Elliot, his father, and fucking

is it a multi-camera sitcom or no? Yes, it's a multi-camera. There's a laugh track and everything. It's a Chulry production. Are you fucking kidding me? They're doing this on Netflix has a multi-camp sitcom? That's what one day of the time was, too. Yeah. And it was on I'm not even sure if it still is on, but it ran for a long. It's a secret TV show. I've never heard of this thing. I never heard of one day at a time until the news that it got canceled. Half the shit on Netflix I don't hear about until

it's. Yep. It's buried. And somebody big plays the mother. It's like like not Diane Lane like from the lovers. What's her name? Oh, Debra Winger. Something like that level. Something like that. Yeah. I mean, an actress like that, Eric. I just feel like when the Oscar voting was going around. They're like, oh, Sam Elliott, it's a shoe-in. And then they were like, you know, that guy's on a TV show currently with Ashton Coucher? Like right now, that can happen. You think that killed it?

Yeah, I don't know. Cabin's right, by the way. Deborah Winger is the mother. And also on this program, an actress who I think is very funny, but not on this. I haven't seen it, is Alicia Cuthbert. Oh, yeah. Who's very hysterical on the canceled

show, happy endings. The girl next door, right? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. I never, never watched much 70s show. I thought it was fine when I saw a few episodes. It's fine. But I did hate watch punk. Punked a bit. Oh, I forgot about that.

Yeah. They should bring that back. Put that on Netflix of Ashton Coucher, punking people, because people wouldn't believe it. Because they haven't heard of Ashton Cooch in forever. Something worse is coming to Netflix. Did everybody hear about the Flinch show? Flinch?

They're putting people in... Is this what you do when you get the slapped? Yes, Eric. No, it's people. they're like in like strapped to a thing and like they if they flinched they get electrocuted oh nice i'm into this good lord it's it's kind of weird it's like that scene at the start of ghostbusters something like that er but the uh punk sorry speaking to chuck lorry though really quickly he's he dead no but if you recall there's a connection there because ashton kutcher replaced charlie

sheen on that show on two and a half men oh really oh yeah yeah for like a lot of like four or five years yes he did that he was the other half man what is that show uh but men men man man man that's all but punked made a movie and it was called uh the steve jobs movie where he punked everyone and he's like oh no it's going to be a drama where i play steve jobs for some reason no no no no no no no me asht gudger biopic steve jobs the man behind apple and the man behind pop chips and that rush to like get that competing project going with Michael Fassbender.

It's just so weird. It's like both people have their qualities. They are not, neither of them are good for those roles. Nope. Yeah, I did not particularly care for that Danny Boyle movie, but it has to be better than the Ashton coach. Oh, yeah, that's not for debate. So like we mentioned before, the whole thing is,

all right, well, to retrace our steps, clearly we have to get as fucked up as we were the night before. So we got to go to our buddy who can sling us some weed. and this is the dude who is Michael Bolton in office space, if you recall. I believe he was a mad TV guy as well. David Herman, I think his name is. Oh, he was on Mad TV? I might have made that up.

I think that sounds right, actually. But yeah, I mean, like he's, I like him a lot in office space. He's actually pretty good in this too. Yeah, he got two scenes. In what he's trying to do, you know what I mean? Like, and he's like doing this stupid thing where he's like Eastern religion guy. Right, right, because he's a stoner as well. And that's, you know, his angle on it.

And he seems to have a better handle on the material than everyone else in the film. Yes, exactly. It seems like he knows, yeah, he's actually going for it. People aren't pissing on his floor. That's for damn sure. And he's got a puppet dog next to him. Is this dog ever real or is it always a puppet? No, it's real.

The dog is real at some points. But it's, I think the puppet has more screen time than the actual animal actor. And it's kind of impressive. It's a nice puppet, I thought. I think it looks like the fucking one from Antichrist. It does. It does. It does.

Exactly like it. Steve, you were right, 50 episodes of Mad TV, but this dude, oh, by the way, he was also on House of Buggin, but this dude is a serious voice actor, though, several episodes of Invader Zim, Father of the Pride, Moral, The Good Family, King of the Hill, Beavis and Butthead Revival, Futurama, Brickleberry, the awesoms, trip tank, damn, dude. Making that money. American Dad Disenchantment, something called. Paradise PD

Bob's Burgers He's a hundred and two episodes Oh he does Wow He does Mr. Fronde on Bob's burgers I didn't know that The guidance counselor

Oh that's cool Okay Yeah wow Good for him You know what I like him as an actor I think he's funny Yeah

I want more of him In this movie Yeah You don't get it Because he's like a crass guy But he's trying to be In Eastern religion Kind of a thing

Which is that's a thing That's a thing that is funny It's a joke It's like a California your backyard. Yes, exactly. That's exactly what we're doing. And his dog, he's getting his dog high, and the

dog is a pipe that looks like the dog itself. I wanted to get a pipe that looks like me after seeing this. How cool would that be? Like, hey, Andrew, what are you doing right now? I'm smoking myself. Well, why don't you blow it out your ass? Well, that's the question. Where's the pipe going? Bend over and I'll show you, dude. No, but like

the pipe would be like it's like you pack the weed in your mouth. Right. And then you puff on your feet, I guess, and you're like a little cheeks in there. Yeah, dude. Sounds good. Little cheeks. I don't know how I'm getting into that. Yeah. It's weird. It's a weird

thing to do. You're looking at your ass whenever you smoke. If a puppet dog does it, it's one thing. A human adult man. I see. I think dogs look better than people. I think that's my problem. So this brings us to the first fucking horrendous joke of this movie.

They asked this dude for a ride around to see if you can help them find the fucking car. We cut to them immediately getting kicked out of the car because apparently Sean William Scott made some joke where he calls the Dalai Lama a gay slur. And it's like you are so fucking rooted right in 2000 pop culture right here with this that nobody even blinks. He's dropping F bombs like Bill and Ted did. Yep. Speaking of how horrendous that is, this happens actually right after they go to the Chinese takeout restaurant that has a fast food window. Oh, right. And we get a bunch of Asian jokes of

the woman. Well, just the one joke repeated about 28,000 times. That's a bunch. It's and then is the gag. It's like, I want this and then. I believe this was a trailer gag if I remember. This was being quoted. I don't know about you. We're in the circles

you traveled in the year 2000. This was being quoted. And then? And then. Really? Yeah, man. How would it play out? I don't remember, but I just remember like people just doing the voice like And then I'm in my high school

Can we not see dude Where's my car And then What happened after they said that? What did you say? Well I was like, I didn't see that movie And then?

God damn But Eric, I get it And then? What happened then? I don't know. And then? Yeah,

he beats the shit Out of that talk box. That's something. It's fun. I guess. It's not. It's not. It's awful.

This movie has a thing for like Asian stereotypes. It's all. over this movie it's not like you have just this one scene it's like oh we're going around the world we're getting everybody's getting into it yeah then we have like the taylor shows up we're doing japanese stuff later and it's like get this out of this movie yeah it's very strange um so they get out of the car this is the christie swanson cameo uh she's playing it's a role i think she's bad yeah you're right it's not a cameo she does have multiple scenes uh the character's name of

Of course, Christy Boner. You know, there's not even any joke to explain that it's like an alternate spelling. This woman's name is Boner. Yep, yep. There it is. And we're all pretending like Christy Swanson. Shouldn't be. Is it way too old to be a, like, high school student in this movie?

She should play somebody's mom. That's what I was like, who's mom is she? It's very strange. She's like in the cafeteria with these kids. Are they supposed to be high school students? Are they college kids? I think they're college-age. I don't know.

It's never, it's never specified. Because they are bullied by this group of jocks, and everyone in this movie looks at least 30, 35. That's the lesser O'Connell? Yeah, Charlie O'Connell. Oh, my God, that looking thing. He, the second star of the, the second O'Connell, the star on Sliders, by the way.

I will say we were talking, I don't know which episode we were talking. Oh, actually, 17 again, we were talking about the brother draft and how Brian Dolbury would go first. Charlie O'Connell doesn't make the cutoff Like he's not even getting out of the He's not in the making No he's got to stay in college dude He's not going pro

The last picked But the thing is like I think it has to be high school Because in what world Am I a college age student And I guess maybe this happens That I'm being picked on by jocks Yeah the idea of jocks

You know, hey buddy Did you see me get that nerd Yeah I'm sure it happens I'm sure a lot of schools Are worse than art school that we went to, but I just, it has to be high school. No, but that makes no sense

because there's no parents. There's no, there's, you're right, there's no parents. Yeah. That's a good point. There's no parents,

but there's no, there's no, like, college either. So they, how could you be able to just people? It looks like they own that house. No, I think Stuttering John owns the house. The guy who's living in the closet?

I don't know. Who neither of them know. So maybe they rent, but then like, why are you being picked on by John's? Well, another, another famous duo that they also

kind of remind me of who also didn't have parents and were in high school is Beavis and Butthead. Sure. Cheez and Chong as well. I think they were definitely not at the high school. I'm pretty sure they were 38. Dad's not here, man.

I will say to the college v. high school bit, like yeah, the whole point of like the whole point of going to college to not get picked on by jocks anymore. And like then the whole way college is set up is like you have these things called fraternities where you can get picked on by jocks but you just avoid that house

you can just not go there and people who want anything to do with it also you can just write them all you can also go to a school that doesn't participate in Greek life which I highly recommend yeah there was always like the initiative to get that going on purchase campus and it was always just laughed out

I was I visited a friend of mine in SUNY Albany once and I was kicked out of a frat party three times in one night For being a nerd? Yeah, pretty much. They're like, hey, dude, you got to get out of here. And I was like, but I know this guy. And I'm like, and I was totally messed up at the time.

Like, really messed up. We told you three times now, you don't know the X-Men. You keep saying you know the X-Men and that's why you're here. Please leave. Stop putting on my tape of Batman. But we could just watch it in this other room while those girls are doing whatever they're doing. We can put on X-Men. Gotcha, nerd.

We only have the Batman. man tape to trap nerds. I hate that shit. We hate that baby shit. A snare comes down, gets your wrist. Whenever I see Jack Nicholson, I say, fuck this baby shit.

I was told to get the fuck out. I was like, yeah, man, whatever. Yeah, whatever. And then I just kind of walked from one end to the back end and walked right back in. And the guy's like, I fucking told you. And I was like, yeah, man, whatever, what the fuck ever? Then I just walked out and found this

side entrance. Did you tell your friends what was going on? Eventually, everybody kind of decided to leave and I was like, yeah, I was kicked out of that party. The party left? No, no, no. The friends that I was with. Did the policeman in the drunk tank give you a blanket at least? No, no, no.

I wasn't arrested that night. No blankets for him. So somehow or another, oh, really quick to point out when Christy Swanson walks in front of the camera when she comes into the movie, there is a. a man jackhammering in the street and then water explodes out as she crosses the frame that's great and she's like oh we had a great

night last night you're giving all this money that's really cool gave me $500 to show my hoo-hoo's oh that's the one they say hoo-hoo's multiple times in this instead of breasts or I guess hooters what is the other is that copy written by the restaurant why the fuck aren't we saying hooter

because they have to talk like babies that's it that's it That's it because it sounds too vulgar. What's the other one when we're smoking pot, it's Shibby? No, no, no, no. That's just a celebratory pronouncement they have is Shibby. We do also see that Shibby is their personalized license plate at the end of the movie. Because of course it is.

I mean, yeah. No, but to be fair about that, I thought for a while that they were referring to weed when they said shibby. But then you realize, like, at points in the film, Sean William Scott is just saying it. To say it. They have to talk like baby assholes the entire time. It's the joke of the movie. Steve, was Shibby being quoted a lot? Not so much.

Baby assholes. Can I put that in my movie? Hi, my name's Larry Clark. Look, you got baby geniuses over there. That's for one crowd. I'll make baby assholes. They want me to be ambitious. So I came to you, Nickelodeon, to pitch baby assholes.

Larry, when we gave you the money for this project, I thought maybe they'd be like, cranky babies but it's you're just showing babies actual assholes it's all still photography can't believe i'm gonna try to see if i get a suit going they rework my baby assholes idea and came up with rug rats they snuffed at the idea that i was influenced by chris marker um so yeah i mean this whole movie is them just going to place to place and it's like wow you guys last night and it's like just do an

extended flashback please and make that the movie this whole horse shit mystery solving whatever the fuck or like do that for the first act and then like it's fun and then we kind of get into something but like it keeps happening the strip club needs to be talked about so yeah they find like a matchbook

or something that says the kitty cat club first of all we need to talk about the mask the kitty cat club the mascot of the kitty cat club is like a sexualized pink panther And this thing is in the opening credits And the CGI, whatever the fuck And I threw up

I literally threw up This is something I think They outsourced it to an early version of deviant art And they just ask like The biggest pervert like just draw us a sexy cat No no sexier No

Even sexier Make her grind Yeah this cat in the beginning Is like dancing around Like you are supposed to get Some fucking chuckled here, I think. Oh, yeah, you're definitely getting to chuckle-dick. Yeah. I think this movie has a few scoops of chuckle-dick in it, for sure, because all the strip club scenes, it's just

women that aren't topless, but almost... And to be fair, we haven't talked about chuckledick on the main feed. This is something we talked about in the Patreon. Oh, right. Listen, you're only getting half the story on, if you're not on the Patreon. I actually think you're, when you started talking about the pussy posse for the first time, I think that was on the Nexus. It was. Wow. But chuckle-dick is when you get a... aroused, but you're trying to laugh at the same time? Am I summarizing it correctly? It's when someone creates

content in where you're supposed to be horny and laughing at the same. Okay, that's it. So this is, we definitely have... Like, there's many examples, like, I think California Cation was one. Yes, I believe that is a big one. What's the other high-nudity one? Game of Thrones. It's like

ruffled dick. Because it's violent and it gets... Ruffles under your feathers, the political intrig, but you're still And it's supposed to be like high drama. So six feet under was also kind of ruffle dick. That's right. It's like when it's over with, you're like, man, that was really good for stimulating my mind. But now I want to go stimulate my genitals.

Sopranos is more muscle dick. Yeah. You want to beat somebody up after you jerk off. Club them with it. Like a little blackjack. They go to this strip glove. And we do have chuckledick because, and again, it's PG-13, but there's a line of women They're like, Jesse Chester, look, here's a wet t-shirt contest for some reason.

And it's one of these things where it's like, wherever they've been on this magic night, they've been the fucking kings of the world. They walk into the strip club. It's like, oh, how are we going to find out if we were here last night? And the entire staff of the strip club turns and gives them a round of applause. They say a weirder thing. They say that, like, we would never be in a place like that. I'm like, are you on fuck?

Yes, I guess you are on dope. Jesus. They say that, because they're so excited to walk in. They're like, oh, it's a strip. Because they're virgins. They would never think to actually do it. They just talk about it. So they're like, well, we would never be here.

And then everybody's like, hi. Right. So they walk in and they go up to the bartender and they ask her like, oh, is there someone here that we may have known last night or whatever? And the woman says to Ashton Coucher, like, oh, of course. here's so and so and this woman comes up and is like seducing him and they start making out this is where

this is where Sean William Scott is like peering at the point where these two people's mouths are connecting you know totally because he's that dude's getting the boner why aren't I getting the same boner at the same time yeah why can't we be fucking sharing this boner and his buddy is having wet lip for the first time he doesn't know what it's called it's wet lip wet lip

oh by the lips wet last night by gentlemen gentlemen it's called kissing no no no I got my lips wet yesterday they did briefly share a boner with Christy Swanson because that was her name yeah oh

there it is there's that but this is this is where Sean William Scott's also like oh man why don't I have a girl and then this like team of women on the stage like dumps pictures of water on themselves and it's like a wet t-shirt

contest then he ends up like break dancing up there with them yeah you know strip clubs don't like it when the guy gets on the stage. But apparently they were like such celebrities. It became so important throughout this town the night before

because they were thrown around a bunch of money and that money belonged to this woman apparently. That's the idea. Yeah. And so she takes Ashton Coochard in the back room for like a champagne room lap dance situation. And this is far in a way the biggest fucking thud of this movie. It makes this movie pretty much unwatchable.

Yes. It renders it completely unwatchable. And this is where it turns out that this stripper is a transsexual woman. Yeah. And it's played for joke. Like, think of the thing at the end of Ace Ventura and times it by a thousand. And that's this gang. Well, we're doing Ace Ventura's greatest hits in like two minutes, basically.

I would say it's worse because the horror movie theme song that comes on whenever she comes back on. Yes. Like, it's really bad. That's why I said times a thousand. and like the voice that they give her is like this it's not even like it'd be one gag like in that stupid shrek movie you get Larry King to do it that's not funny but that's something but they just modulate her voice so she sounds like an alien this entire time yeah it's like you're making a prank call to the police or something exactly it's like hey I gave you this I gave you a suitcase with $200,000 to hold on to where is that it was I guess stolen money, question mark. Don't worry about it because this movie didn't. Yeah, I was just about to say, did they answer that?

Was it the mafia? I don't think it's ever answered. I mean, but it's fucking insane in this strip club scene because this woman like lifts up her skirt and there's like a bulge gag and everybody is screaming. It's fucking horrible. And he's doing the bit where like, oh my God, I kissed her. I'm trying to throw up. And it's all of it all at once.

It's terrible. it's got no place in this fucking movie or any movie but I mean like in the year 2000 it's not like it's 1978 you know what I mean like Cheech and Chong bit did it I'm like well that was the time

that shows you how dark it was back then it seems like it was recent but it kind of wasn't 1878 no that's yeah Ace Ventura was only what like six years before this movie 94

94 yeah something like that too I don't know 90s But it's 90s, it's bad. It's like not, it's literally not good to have this in a movie. And like, I think one of the greatest pieces of editing and all of cinema happens right here, we cut to a different scene. Yes. Just get the fuck out of this. And this character's like not, like, she's supposed to be the heavy of the movie. Like, every time she comes back. This is the quote unquote villain of the film. And like, but like she's not in the movie at all. You forget she's there. And you're like, oh, right, because this alien shit happens almost exactly.

right after this. We do get like she's one of the, she's definitely like the main villain, but we get other side villains and it all converges at the end. Yeah. So you don't really see her as much because we develop these other villainous things like the quote-to-quote hot chicks from outer space and the space cult. But they also do this thing in this movie,

like after the space cult gets introduced, it happens twice in like five minutes. We're like, okay, let's recap. What's going on here? We lost her keys. and I think the reason that they love this joke so much is so that they could use the word transsexual

as a joke it's like and then we're getting chased by this transsexual lady and like that is nonstop that is like the knee slapper is like that's part of the joke that a person could exist the woman refers to herself as a gender challenged male

while screaming at Ashton Coucher as he's like holding back vomit and like the screenwriters are like clickety clack this is a laugh Well, that's that joke that we were doing. We loved up to it, including, like, five years ago with, like, somethingly challenged because of, like, oh, I'm vertically challenged. Oh, I'm, you know, it's like a disabled joke or an ablest joke, I should say. But it's like...

Vertically challenged? Like short people are vertically challenged. That's like the gag. Like Jimmy Stewart in vertigo. Oh, I'm vertically challenged. No, like, I am exercise challenge. And that's the gag we were doing for, like, literally 20. years.

Right. Like the 1994. I think if you're watching episodes, The Last Man Standing, that joke is still flying around those scripts. It came about, I think, because, like, for,

it was like, we're going to, like, handicap. We're not going to say it anymore. We're going to rebrand it or whatever. And all the late night hosts what I don't think so. Exactly.

I have a feeling Jay Leno had a lot to do with it. Yeah, they're trying to get dignity. I don't think so. On the way of jaywalking here. yeah with my legs because I got both of them so they go to the twins house it's their anniversary

places is a wreck they cleaned it up on the inside they have had several voice messages on their answering machine saying you know you fucked up our house where are you here's my question were the twins at the party what were the twins doing during the party

because then if they invite these chuckles in your house right whatever happens I think they were cowering in the basement okay that's also possible I think that's the thing. Because they don't remember anything for the night before. And they don't act like,

oh, we don't remember either. You know, they must a hot box the entire house to such a degree. Oh, shit, you know,

they call that hot house. Oh, really? Oh, yeah. Now I'm making that up. Oh, okay. We should try it sometime.

We should, yeah, we should roll up with a house one day. I don't know. I think they were like recreating the pig out scene from heavy weights in this fucking house.

Like, it's like the shit they have to, like the big, joke is they have to carry a bunch of trash bags out. This is so fucking illogical and stupid though. Because it's like just take a few bags at a time.

This is not a gag that's set up properly. They're trying to carry like nine garbage bags at once. They're doing a cartoon joke in a live action film. Correct. And they're not even do like you could set it up as a cartoon and make it funny like on a long take. They actually watch it

and have some tension in the joke. It's just too fucking lazy to do that. There's a lot of cuts in this scene that really cut out any kind of tension to what the joke could be. And the whole gag is a bottle cap falls on the floor and they're trying to pick it up. Oh, really? Oh, nice. Drink Mountain Dew. They're trying to like pick it up with their feet. It's the first of a couple times in this movie you see, and this is a thing I cannot stand.

Dirty, disgusting, holy socks that you have to look at. Yeah, a sock with a hole in it. I don't think so. That's good. Throw that right in the truck. Throw it away. It's so gross. Throw it away. But to Eric's point, I think for the while, the Mountain Dew Corporation, their whole thing was...

Stoners, right? Yeah, if you can't pass a piss test, you should drink our soda. Of course. Yeah. I mean, they knew who's drinking. Why do you think they have such a partnership with Taco Bell? They know regular people aren't drinking their green filth, so they have to go to the lower quadrants of stoners and gamers, the two people that will. And skaters, skaters as well, but there's a lot of high... I keep forgetting, yes, skaters.

I keep forgetting skaters exist. To be fair I will cop to I was watching this movie while drinking a neon green Haritos limone Okay So you know

I try to fucking have a code red And I used to drink so much Oh absolutely I used to like Mountain Dew I used to like it But I tried to have some I was like oh my God You're still here today

Yeah exactly I just felt like my soul Was gonna jump out of my body So they trashed this fucking house and the girls come out and they're pissed off and they kick them out they're immediately kidnapped

into this van and these are the like end of the world cultists these alien cultist people Heaven's Gate joke that this script must have been around for a while so here it is

well Heaven's Gate was like what 96 or something like that something like that and she was a Z it's all like Z names Zoltan Zulteran and Zobarar Well, Zoltan is like their cult leader

Who they keep talking about And yeah They pray to that machine from big I have it here Zarnoff, Zalmina Zellner and Zilbor Zelmina is Mary Lynn Rice Cup How is there not like a Zima joke in that?

Yeah, oh man Yeah, that's true That's like their only alcoholic beverage Well that's the thing nobody is like On camera drinking alcohol Or smoking weeds That's true It's all about I mean that's the genius of it

That's how you open it for the children Right. Yeah, you're not seeing any. It's all past tense. What was that? For the babies. Okay, Larry Clark. Drunk babies. So they explain to them that they're looking for some kind of device.

A dustbuster. Continuum transfunctioner, I think, is the thing. And the joke is everybody keeps saying its power is only exceeded by its mystery. And it's like that's what, and like everybody knows what this thing is. This is kind of the Thrux. This is what a film student might call the McGuffin of the film. Absolutely right. You'd thought, you would think that that's the car.

Yeah. What with the name of the fucking film? Movie can't have two Mcuffins. Dude fucking supersize it, man. This movie's got two Mcuffins. Yeah. But at least I know like what the fucking car, like the car has stuff. The quantum leap or whatever the fuck thing.

That like, they're just like, yeah, we need it. Would you like, like, fries? with that? I would. So the cult people drop them off at a tailor. We're getting more Asian jokes here but this dude has like well they kicked them out of the van I think is the idea

and it just so happens to be right in front of this tailor and they're like oh guys come in you were crazy last night putting in this order for suits that I custom made you which you would think would be suits not Adidas track suits yeah. How do you tailor and Adidas see this track suit.

And why would you? Their baggy is all fucking get out. Like that's how you wear them. It's insane. It's off the rack. That's how you do it. So they take their shirts off because they have to try on these suits

and this is the biggest thing from the trailer. I think they thought this was just going to be. It's like a, like you want to talk about Buster Keaton. This is a comedy classic. This is the who's on first for the year 2000. That's right. So we have the dude tattoo and the sweet tattoo.

What is my tattoo say? Dude. what is mine say sweet and so on until my head exploded that's like here's the thing with these jokes too is like repetitive

the family gag repetition the family gag repetition jokes this repetitive like that's only funny for so long and then the second you let that thing go too long it's painful

I based the whole thing on that that's the whole thing is repetition and not good stuff to begin with but people like to be annoyed I guess Like, people like to sit down and actually be annoyed. I mean, people download this podcast. That's true.

Well, after the Shrek 2 episode, we saw a lot of people online saying that their kids love the annoying repetitive donkey gag there. Yep. Because it's annoying. It's funny. It's like, annoying is funny. It gives kids carte blanche to be annoying IRL. And boy, that stinks. Boy, that stinks.

You see a fucking annoying kid in public? Dad alert. Dad alert. Dad alert. I think that's not a dad alert. I mean, that's non-dad. But first of all, they got these tattoos last, that these huge tattoos, they would certainly feel them.

They would have that, like, you'd get the, like, oh, yeah. You get the, the white bandage over it with the tape. They shouldn't be out in the sun very much. Oh, is that true? Yeah. They give you, yeah, there's a little, it's, well, I think they're, like, clear now in a lot of the times,

like, so it doesn't get anything on it there. And you got to wait, like, 24 to 48 hours, depending upon the, you put some cream on there. Intensity of the tattoo. I mean, if anything, it would still be red as fuck. Yes. You know, and they're just, you know, these shitty dude sweet tattoos. There's a thing that happens in this scene, and I want to bring it up because there's other

moments that this happens in this movie, but this is the one who I have a clear cut note on. There's a lot of like shoulder shrug, like, rando jokes that they throw in. So, like, they get these Adidas track suits. And Sean William Scott, like, opens his and there's a pigeon in it. Oh, yeah. And it flies around for a second and then it flies off, like, out of frame and runs into, I guess, a fan. You don't even see it. And feathers come down. And every character in the scene just goes, what? Like shoulder shrugs, doesn't really acknowledge what just happened after that. And then

continues the movie. It's pretty shocking to me because I think it's always nice to see a fan. Dad alert. But this is also, this was an interesting 2000s thing is he also pulls out of his pocket a cell phone. And he just says, dude, we bought cell phone. Brand new technology at the time. Absolutely. Well, they used them right next to each other, which is how far you could go with the cell phone. That's right.

They were attached by strings back then. Ask your grandfather about cell phones. The best part is they have the little fucking, remember those goddamn antennas they would have? Oh, sure. Gotta rise that up, dude. Yeah, if you want to get a good signal. Yeah.

And then we get what can only be described as a music video model. fun times. It's a lot of fun. Holy shit, this thing. And what is the tune we're lip-syncing here? Chris Cabin, you must know. Oh, uh, I'm trying to remember what they're like in a pool. Oh, this is a bus to move. Yes, yes. Thank you. So it's because they found out that they bought a new car or leased a new car. That's an important distinction out there, kids. Uh, and should you research that. Bus to move was also in 17 again. Oh, yeah, you're right. Wow. Had a real culture. troll renaissance. And I believe

Buster, yeah, wasn't Buster Moon Can't Hardly Wade? Yes. Yes. When he's trying to get dressed. Yeah, yeah, he's like trying not. Is he getting dressed or it's where he's looking through his little sex backpack? Yes, yeah, that's right. That dude's up to no good. It's a music video montage of them

imagining what it's like to own this car. That's what this is? I don't think it actually happened. I thought it was a legit party that happened. Well, you're right. You were playing along with the movie. I watched this at 9. am with coffee. Yeah, yeah, you're right.

That's how you're supposed to watch the film. Dad alert. I was sitting there, I was like, hey, man, where did they get this house from? Whose pool is that, man? Whatever, man. It'd be one thing if it was supposed to be the night before, so we could actually see some of that.

Sure. It's not. I don't think. It's just them like with scantily clad women and Ash and Cush and Coucher's got corded at one point. Yeah, that's unfortunate. I'm sorry, I'm imagining Eric at his his breakfast table you know him and his wife for having coffee he's like what are you going to do

today honey well i guess i'll watch dude where's my car had a dream last night about my dad you know i'm older i'm older than he is that i'm older than he was now that i that he ever was yeah i'm doing this as i'm reading the i bdb tribune newspaper um so then they're driving around of this leased car and they pull up to a stoplight with this car and who pulls up next

to him but Fabio random totally totally I just want to let everybody know that's a pretty random thing to have me like that's random could you imagine

could you imagine if Fabio pulled up in a car next to you remember Fabio everyone sure I was just the 20th anniversary when he got hit the face with that Goose. Random. That, you know what?

That was truly random. Fabio, Fabio, goes on a roller coaster and smashes his face into a goose. He was famous because they based, like, romance novels on his body, like he was a model or something? Yes, he was a print model. Yeah. Interesting. And then he had, of course, I can't believe it's not

butter. And that was like a thing. He had a moment, but like at this point he was already, it was already like past irony. You know what I mean? Like this. You're talking about right now. Yes. Yes. I mean, No, not even, I mean, right now, I mean, right now, the 2000. We're talking about then, 2000. In the 2000, in the year 2000, it was like post-irony, Fabio.

Yes, this was too late. We'd made all the jokes. Yeah. He was a living joke. Right. Random. And this is the, this is the most piece of shit, fuck you, hypocritical part of this movie. Because they're doing like the Vroom, like Favio revs the engine, and then they rev the engine.

and then Fabio puts his arm around a babe and Ashton Coucher puts his arm around Sean William Scott and then Fabio starts kissing this woman and then Sean William Scott and Ashton Coocher make out. Yes. It's like wouldn't it be funny if anyone wasn't straight? And then Fabio then is the one in this scene holding back vomit. Yes, exactly.

As he fucking drives away. Because someone in, that's the way this movie works. That happens and someone has to go ewe to the camera. I hate this movie I hate this movie a lot This movie should not be screened You know what? I think we hate this movie

This is one time Where the title of the show Actually checks out It checks out, right Chris? It does indeed At this point There's another cadre This is Babe Alert

Babe Alert of these five sexy ladies show up in jumpsuits And when was Jane Silen Bob Strikes back? 2001 I believe Because the sexy babes in that movie you're wearing the same cat suits you're right i think that Kevin smith got at a discount yeah because it's the same outfit like they're all these like weird like leather cats right it was 2001 yeah it's also a terrible movie yeah oh it's wretched you know what to be fair

though there's a shot Kevin smith didn't see dude wears my car when it came out because he didn't start smoking weed till like 2007 oh okay so there's like 2009 or 10 or something so he made have just avoided it all together he probably was at the premiere though You know, when you're that, you're invited to those premieres. Oh, yeah. I'll have to check that Twitter. Can we talk about this Twitter account for a second? This is, what is it, movie premieres unlimited?

Let me look at it up. We'll give them a legit plug here. It's a great account. It's a Twitter. You're probably already following. Yeah, but if you have it. Oh, sure. It's a Twitter account where they'll show you four photographs from the premiere of any given

movie. Yes. And this has been eye opening for me because I had no idea that any old fucking boob could get an invite to the biggest premieres of the biggest film. And you say boob, it's like Christian Slater. No, or it's always Christian Slater. You will see, no, no, no, but you will see

like it'll be, it's not this, but it's on the level of this. It'll be like Terminator 2 premiere. Yes. And fucking John Lovitz is there. Of course, yeah. So what is the, what's the handle? Okay, yes, it's called movie premieres Unlimited, but the handle is at, Night opening.

Okay, at night opening. But it's always, what I love about that account, too, is like, it goes both ways, though. It's like, oh, any, like, yeah, Terminator 2 is John Lovitz, but it'll also be like, I don't need, like, the dumbest movie that no one even remembers, like, I don't even know, like, I'm trying to think of a bad movie. Like, like, 17 again or something.

Right. And like, fucking Robert De Niro is there. Like, when did that happen? What are you doing on a Friday night? I see at the Conspiracy Theory premiere in 1987, one Mr. Stephen Seagal. Oh, yeah. It's great seeing him

and his like silk. He's doing research. Can I show you? I saved this one. I don't remember. I wish I wrote down what the premiere was. Maybe you'll remember because Eric, I know you've been following this closely.

My favorite, my new favorite picture. Uh-huh. I'm going to show you guys and then I'll say on the air what it is. But this is my new favorite picture. Yeah. Is that Kelsey Graham? There's a photograph of Kelsey. see grammar and Chewbacca.

Oh, that's the guy on the right. At a movie premiere that I'm pretty sure wasn't Star Wars related. Yeah, you just get Chewbacca. Oh, no, wait. Hang on, hang on. There's a background thing here in the step and repeat. No, okay, I was wrong. It is the premiere of Revenge of the Sith.

Chewbacca was at least allowed to be there. It wasn't the English patient. But just please check out this Twitter handle. It's so fucking funny. You want to talk about random. Also, another Twitter cat that needs more followers is at WHM Podcast. We can always use a few more.

Oh, Rayf, Rife. Yeah, really intense. Yes, it is. Thank you. Yeah, thank you for coming to the beer. Chubakas here, ladies and gentlemen. Yes. There was one the other day.

Man, I got to remember what the movies were because Tom Arnold was there. And I was like, you had no business being at this person of Tom Arnold. So these women kind of, they're five sexy ladies. They're like, hey, we will give you pleasure. if you get us the thing we're actually specified as like oral pleasure it's eventually erotic erotic pleasure because they have to pull that back because that's that's that's going to get you

higher than pg 13 but we're getting fucking blowjob jokes in this movie but right here but right here they're like oh yeah we're aliens and you're like okay we just met that weird alien cult like what are you and then there's to prove that these women are aliens there's a fucking cone heads joke right here Because the woman takes this gigundo popsicle, deep throats it, and then just pulls out the stick. Yes. And they're fucking horny. And everybody in the audience has to have chuckledick right now. Men, women and children, chuckle dick.

And they're like, hey, go, go find the thing. Like, God, we'll keep looking for this thing. Right. There is two Swedish guys that are literally just doing Hans and Franz from fucking Saturday Night Live. Right. They also are looking for this thing. Do they show up right here? I mean, because this is the strippers.

shows up again and threatens them about the money. Yes. And then like all these cops pull up and they're like, oh, now you're going to get arrested. Yeah. Jesse and Chester get arrested. Oh, right. And apparently their car was seen leaving the scene.

It was it was spied leaving the scene of a major drug deal. Sure. We're told. And then this is like another dumb ass random comedy joke here where like they're supposed to be interrogating them. doing like where tough cops are coming down on you and the guy drags in like a fucking self-defense training dummy and starts torturing it it's like a Zucker brother's gag yeah definitely yes it belongs in airplane yeah decide what the fuck your movie is please I beg of you yeah

because they're just like this and this gag goes on for 20 hours absolutely this guy's like punching this dummy he's putting cigarettes out on it Sean William Scott's like begging them to ease up on it anybody get who this guy was the guy be The puppet? Yeah, that's Hank Schrader's boss for Breaking Bad. Oh, wow. Yeah, I'm going to move you out of Albuquerque, Hank. I kind of look like Shamm Elliott a little bit, Hank.

Wasn't on that show of The Ranch, though. I think that other guy who was interrogated him, it was a member of No Mam. Yeah. Oh, for sure. Oh, wow. Yeah, I think you're right. That guy's been in a bunch of shit. Yeah, maybe Wayne's World, too, actually.

So they get released because they didn't have anything to do with the car. By the way, your car was impounded. Oh, but what is the... They're freed because a cop comes in and he's like, oh, hey, it's the guys from last night that what did they do? They brought a bunch of donuts in? They bought everyone in the precincted donut.

Well, that's great. That's good. That's good. That's a Captain Planet joke. So release them. They bought donuts. Oh, no. When did they do it at this time?

Oh, if you did that, you couldn't be part of the crime. they go to some guy with glasses now we're just doing like it's like the coke bottle glasses yeah so he's obviously too he's like he's fucking what is it what is it fucking uh in hot shots walli is that they call it's a fucking walleye joke basically isn't that john cryer to break yeah totally right i actually man this was like a bit that worked for me it was like because they were like so it was one of those jokes were like they they shouldn't like this character but they do and i'm like oh that's kind of kind of fun it's like a Wayne's World joke kind of a thing well because like he

accidentally sends the car to the impound yes and then he's like hey can I make it up to you by giving you some donuts and they're like okay yeah yeah okay we're stoners we were implicated in a crime but you know thank God we're white we can joke with the police officer right yeah oh yeah now get our car back but it's been impound and not only that they've auctioned it which is just I'm sorry but the police department needs to get the car back or pay you a large something. But first, would you like to see me smash this donut into my face like a fucking baby?

Oh my God. Totally. Because that's the big lap. It's your smash cake. So they decide they have to go visit the twins at work and the twins work at this. This is another fucking falls flat on its fucking face joke. They work for a school for the blind and it's just bad blind jokes.

It's a bunch of bad blind jokes. It's not them that visit them. It's the five alien ladies. Oh, right. Because they try to recruit Charlie O'Connell who's in this movie for some reason. They're like, oh, you should go look for Jesse and Chester here trying to get them in trouble with your girlfriends. You're right. These fucking weird jocks know where these women work? Like what is going? Dude, grow up. See, that's the thing is like, if you're in college, I can understand knowing where people work. Sure. Whatever. If it's a small campus,

you're adults in a city. Yeah. And you just know where your adversaries, girlfriend works. I appreciate a dedicated bully. Okay. He's really doing the work. He knows. He knows. knows where their girlfriends in, knows where their family lives, he's killed two dogs. That's Chris Cabin's comedy album, dude, dedicated bully.

That's your Comedy Central half hour. And I mean, like, this is just a bit where there's these sexy ladies are like, hey, where's Jesse and Chester?

They're like, oh, we're so mad, we're broken up with them. And they call them now you're broken up with, whatever. Right.

There's a thing that where a guy is trying to teach a blind kid to play baseball. Yes. And it's like, he has a joke about like, your ear on the ball and it's like man get this out of this movie you get you some nerd shots though

is what you want right this struck me as a there's something about mary element yeah oh yeah big time where the fairly brothers actually do work with like those organizations like handicapped old handicapped organizations yeah this is just there for yucks like I don't feel like they are actually they care about these people I mean that fairly's worded for the yucks too but you know but but they did they did they were they did they advanced back they advanced they advanced advanced the you know the the stuck on you people oh really wait what was that conjoined people there you go stuck on you that was the movie yeah okay I was not a 100% sure on the title but yes Greg can hear Matt Dane now people know that that happens

right now we know it's very funny when it does but now we know it happens this is where so they're still looking for this continuum transfunctioner this is where these two Hans and Franz yes show up you know it is though it's hans and franz but they're dressed like the night at the roxbury brothers yeah kind of yeah it's like an updated year 2000 hans and franz

and franz yeah exactly they got out of the jumpsuits and got into the club clothes uh it's just they're wearing leather like completely or pleather probably pleather it's like pleather shirt cheaper leather jacket i just can't do it man you're not a pleather guy no can't do it yeah just just a sweat

but it gives you cleavage yeah i mean i There's plenty of scenarios where I can have cleavage, Chris. Don't worry about it. Yeah, I mean, you should flaunt that, though. You got a nice set of tits. You ever see me try to pick up a cup? You can see some cleavage right there.

So, at this point, they get, like, kidnapped by the fucking... That really got Andrew. No, it just reminded me of something. I want to tell a quick... I mean, it was very funny. But it inspired a memory. It was something.

Last week, I was a... overviewing or judging a student film festival. Sure. I'll leave it at that. We're watching one of these movies and we're in this auditorium full of people who have made these movies and whatnot. And there's a movie that starts

and it's like the character is getting up in the morning he's making his bed and the guy is like standing in front of the camera and he's bent over, he's pulling the sheets up and whatnot. And I'm just like kind of looking. I'd seen it before earlier that day. And so it was like, I'm just like kind of taking notes. evaluating the films or whatever and one of the judges leans over to me and just goes hey man

they blurring out that kid's ass crack or what and i look back up on the screen and this dude's ass just has all this fucking pixelation all over i was like man take two like hey randy man your fucking ass is hanging out of those sweats we got to do it over it was so fucking funny you'd think points off for me, points on. Oh, who it again. You want to blur out an ass crack, points on, student film. The ass is the cleavage

of the back. That's right. I got plenty of cleavage then. That's for sure. I believe that as Oscar Wilde said that. He did. He did. The, so they're abducted by the cult people. It's Zoltan's group. And

this is when donkey lips makes an appearance. Wow. Yeah. Michael Bauer. Who saw this coming, not me. I did not. I did not because I hadn't seen this before. Yeah. Wait, who did he play in this? I know, I remember Doggillips, but I don't remember. He's the heavy set. The two, they get, I'm done with two heavy set dudes. The shorter of the two. Oh my God. And he's got the speech impediment as well. It's just, it's donkey lips. You know, he used to rap on my space. You know, you get to see him with his shirt off. You do. Absolutely. Something I always wanted to, it was one of the questions I always had while watching Salute Your Shorts was what is Donky Lips. look like with his shirt. That's what I had a question about, too. Let's get all these shirts off.

It's a camp. How are you making a camp show? Camp on Oana. Camp I don't want to take my shirt off with these kids. How about Donkey Lips takes a shirt off, tries to pick up a cup. And that's the movie. That's a 70-minute movie. We're going to bring it to Cairns.

Look, it's the Cans. All right, now the episode I have, it's a funny episode. The episode I'm pitching is how Donkey Lips got his name. And you're pitching this while you're pitching a tent. That's right. I always work hard. Is this around where they get the

car out of the impound or something? That's about to happen after this. Okay. This is when we meet Brent Spiner. Oh. Uncredited. But thankfully. We get Hal Sparks really quick. Oh, right. Was he hosting the soup right about now? He was probably

or maybe queerest folk was even happening as well. Yeah, that seems like it was happening. And I mean, I honestly think Hal Sparks achieved exactly the career he should have had. Like, you've not heard about him in 12 years. That's right. He had a moment. That's right, too. Right.

All of it. It's okay to have moments. I bet you he has a podcast. Yeah, he started on Queersfolk in 2000. Does he have a podcast? I don't know. It doesn't say that's the Hal Sparks experience. But he's got this cult.

They're all wearing bubble wrap. And the gag is, my parents are upstairs. and like that's kind of the joke. Oh, right. Because they're like, oh, look at this beautiful house. And they're like, no, it's over there in the barn. And then this is when this movie gets a little too horny. One of the few moments, this movie gets a little too horny for its own good.

Wow. Because I just feel like someone around there was like, you know, it would be kind of cooler if. Because basically, like, it's like, we kidnapped your girlfriends. And they both have like bubble wrap gags in their mouth. And I'm like, that's for somebody. that's not a joke, but that's for somebody. Those are like those people that like balloon popping, dude. It's just like one of those things.

I'm like, oh, okay. Well, the balloon popping people were going crazy about this movie. That's a fellish. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Well, it's about the tension, the fear of like, oh, my God, is it going to pop?

Right. And I remember I had the thought, actually. They sit on it? Yeah, oh, yeah. Yeah, that's a big thing. No, thanks. I don't know what the situation was here, but I was walking down. North 6th Street in Austin

back at South By last month and there was some, there had been a party or something. Yeah. And I guess these people were like cleaning up after the party and the party, like the entrance to the party place, had a huge thing of balloons everywhere. And so I'm just walking down the street and all

these people are just popping these balloons. And I was like, somebody's horny. Somebody's getting so fucking horny right now. I guess that's the way you take down balloons. I never thought of it. Yeah, you'd have to pop them. Yeah. Then just like sweep up all the detritus professional popper

yeah balloon popper second second chapter of your life I might do that I don't think this is going to work so they're like if you don't you know get us the thing

we're going to kill your girlfriends or something oh right because they're kidnapped right yeah they're fucking gags in their mouth oh right and they're like okay well you have to go back

to the impound lot they go to the impound lot they find they wind up at Brent Spiner's house what is the deal how do they fucking see this ostrich? He has all these ostrichs in his yard. There's

like a gate, they hop over it. Oh, right. He has like poison ivies hideout in back to this guy must be a millionaire. Like, nobody has this kind of land. So that, yeah, now I recall what it is, this ostrich gets in their face and like hits them both. Yeah. Like pecks

at them or something and they get knocked on conscious. They wake up in a cage in the neighboring cage is Andy Dick. That's where he belongs. Right. It's the only way to keep him in line. I'm sorry. It's true.

It's true. Very true. He was drying out. That's how they do it. But yeah, so Brent Spiner is the proprietor of this ostrich property or whatever. Did you read the piece of trivia where so Brent Spiner is uncredited in this? He's doing a terrible French accent. And like later on his career, he reflected on this.

That was kind of an asshole move to go uncredited. I'm like, no, it wasn't. The asshole move is being. And dude, where's my car? Everybody's got to work, man. Yeah, totally. All right. So let's say, let's say.

let's say, it's like the spring of the year 1999, a plucky, older than he was at the time Steve Zadak is running around Hollywood. He gets an offer to star in a new comedy with Steve Stifler and the guy from that 70s show is called Dude Where Is My Car? Are you in or you out? I'm in, maybe. No, I'd definitely be in. Are you credited? Well, no, I wouldn't be credited. Once I saw it, I was like, yeah, whatever. I didn't do that

on my resume. But then that's what's crazy about going uncredited nowadays. Dude, it doesn't even matter. It doesn't matter because you're going to get on IMDB anyway because you're you. Like, people know who you are. Yeah, like, sorry, Brent, you're getting fucking put on IMDB, buddy. Beep. Brent, I saw a movie on TV today.

It's a little picture called, dude, where's my car? And I saw a friend of mine in this. I watch it all the way through, you fucker. How did you not tell me about this? Anyway, see you at the co-cow. I mean, Brent, if you were really that hard up for work, I've got a garage you can clean. You know, Brent, I can't believe, man,

you're in this movie where they're playing a bunch of stoners and no one's seen smoking weed. You know, Brent, I'm going to read for X-Men a little later. Maybe you can come along and do lines with me. I mean, run lines with me. the same year. Oh, dear. X-Men 1 is the year 2000.

Sorry, I was too busy playing a comic book character and a multi-million dollar movie. Sorry, Brent. Oh, what was that? Ostrich Wrangler. Very good. Oh, wait, you told Franks about this? You took Jonathan Franks' career advice.

Oh, my. Oh, my, I'll see you at Sam's. You know, by the way, I think just a small two years later he's the villain in fucking master disguise. Oh, and he's got all of his teeth on that role too, man. Absolutely. He's kind of come back and now he's doing like

just genre stuff, which is totally the right move for him. What was the television show he was on most recently? Not Outcast, but like it's that other Robert Kirkman show, the Zom, the Possessed show. Yeah, Outcast is what it was called? Yeah, he's the main villain in a... That's cool. And he's, you know, that Independence Day came back.

He shows up and stuff. He's the best part of that Independence Day resurgence, I feel. So the gag is like he's just French and it's funny. And then Andy Dick is like, oh, I'm going to have sex with you and they're like, ew, again.

Well, what is the whole deal? It's like he refuses. Andy Dick's character has been in this cage for so long because he refuses to like and say that ostriches are cool or something. And then they're like, oh, yeah, man, we're cool with ostriches.

They have to have, a specific fact. It's the Monty Python gang. Oh, that's right. That's what this is. Yeah, Sean William Scott's a big, like, National Geographic fan. He's like, prove to me that you love ostriches or whatever it is. And he like rails off all these facts about ostriches or something. What is the running speed of a full drone? Dhab-a-bub-a-bub-a-ba, which is almost exactly the gag from Holy Grail. You know what I mean? That's right. That's right. You know what, guys? Can we just switch out this bird. Could you make it an ostrich? We're going to get fucking sued. And you cannot call them babes. They're twins. Okay? Again, we will get sued. We cannot afford

litigation. He's just a guy that just kidnaps people, puts him in cages underground. Yeah. And he's French. Yep. And he's got an ostrich farm. Why isn't that the movie? Ostrich farm could be a movie. It's like 10 ostrich lane. He's mostly a Batman villain at this point. You've got an army of ostriches. It's also one of the only times in the movie that a character isn't like you guys were so crazy last night. Yes, yes.

Like, don't diverge from that path of everybody knows these people. I'm putting you in a cage because you fucking killed one of my ostriches last night. Hit it with your fucking car. Where's your car wrapped on my fucking ostrich's neck? That's where your fucking car is, killing my ostriches.

Exactly. Something like that. And I mean, like, so the last act of this movie, such as it is, they're like, oh, somehow they go to a funplex type thing. Yeah, it's like Captain Stu's inner galactic, whatever the fuck. It's like a, yeah, it's like a sports time or a chucky cheese, an off-bred chunky cheese. The one thing Brent Spiner found in their car was like a card for this. Oh, right. Oh, it's like a Daveen Busters thing.

It's almost more like the toy story pizza. Like, again, they're kids. Pizza Galaxy or whatever. Yeah, it's more like that. Well, actually, what Brent Spiner finds is a key to a storage locker that is to this place. So they go to the key, and this is when the last gag of the stripper shows up. Oh, of course. And now she's got a boyfriend who is a trans gentleman, and it's just a lady with, like, a marker on her face.

Like a Salvador dolly fucking drawn mustache on her. And apparently in, like, there's a locker system here. They get the money, they get the suitcase of money. She's thrilled to see it and she's so happy and congratulating them. Like, thank you so much. Right. But they spent, like, most of it, they bought a fucking, they leased a car. It's a great question, yeah.

They threw a lot of money around. They gave, what's her name, fucking Cindy Bonner or whatever? $500 for the hoo-hoo's. And now everything's seemingly okay. And then these two. people start making out and then Sean William Scott and Ashton Coucher are turned on by

it now. Well the gag is like am I supposed to find this disgusting or what? Like you live with it says like am I supposed to find this disgustle? I mean you should fucking mind your own fucking business. Maybe it's maybe not everything needs to give you a bonus. Maybe people kissing in public's not just for you man.

Exactly. Look at all the pretty games. Also there's the dumb ass joke. That's the wrap on the hateful character everybody. Not before this fucking mustache wipes off on the woman's face. Yeah. That's fucking great. You know what? That is fucking great. Thank you so much. So cult shows back up. We're looking for this continuum transfunctioner.

This is when Jesse and Chester get an idea. There's these like little wacky thing. These toys are like, oh, nobody knows the transfigurer looks like. So we'll just say it's this thing. So the cult shows up. They give them the toy. And then it all kind of everybody converges. The aliens are there. The jocks are there. Everybody's like, hey, let's all fight each other. Chester has been playing with a Rubik's Cube, the entire movie. He solves it, and that turns out to be the space object. Transfunctioner.

I'll never learn what that is. Continuum transfunctioner. I just have it in front of me on a screen. That's the only way. I'm not remembering what the McGuffin is called off the top of my head. It's a bomb. And it's going to... In a school.

And Jesse and Chester didn't tell it. anyone it's a bomb and it's going to destroy the universe and like the two german the swedish guys are like we're the good guys if you tell us we'll deactivate the bomb because they're the keepers of the could continue everybody the continuum transfunctioner and then the ladies are like we know we're the good guys if you give it to us we'll stop the bomb he asks them a question about like who you know what did we what did we score in golf last night and the german guys figured it out And whatever. They deactivate the bomb.

I thought you said they were Swedish. They're Swedish. It's fine. Well, one is one nationality and one's another. Is that, oh, is that true? As far as I've been told. Sure. But the ladies.

By the way, they're not anything. They're fucking alien. But they're doing a bad Swedish accent. It's a bad, it's anti-Scanadian. It's a Swedish chef borderline. And this is when, again, this movie gets a little too horny for its own good. So fucking horny. And like, you know, it's like, all right, so what's the last act going to be?

There's going to be a big monster. Do you get the, what's your monster budget? Like, do you want to do like a big puppet? Do you want to do like, you can get like, we can do like to get some carpentry kind of stuff? You know, it's so funny. And I can almost not, I can almost not laugh without saying it. What if it was? An giant sexy woman.

Oh, my God. It's a giant woman. This screenplay is so extreme. My dick's chuckling. No, it's funny, you guys. It's hilarious how big she is and how much she could crush people. I'm off to make the biggest wedge heel in existence. They morph together and they're like super giant sexy babe or something is the name of it.

And the title card flashes up. She immediately, speaking of getting your rocks off, she eats Charlie O'Connell. Oh, right. She eats him like a hot talk. And let me tell you, this is... Well, she eats him in one bite. Right. How do you eat a hot dog?

This is a, it's a terrible special effect of like this model. Yeah. It's like, all right, now you're fake putting a tiny man in your mouth. Like, boy, is it stupid. Say it slower. This is an opportunity for a cameo. I guess they didn't go for. or am I just not recognizing the giant woman?

Oh, no, yeah, I don't know. I don't know. You know, you could think it's a model or something probably. Carmen Electra or someone. Yeah, something. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know that this person is anybody. I'm sure she's somebody.

Everybody's someone. Everybody loves somebody. Yeah, our casting director is actually a band from both the Playboy Mansion, the penthouse, beach house, and from all the other places. And the Hustler Lounge. Larry Flynn's Hustler Club, dude, it's right down on the West Side Highway. There is a great moment here where

Jesse and Chester are now running from this woman and she comes outside and steps over this picnic table featuring a father and son, like eating dinner or whatever. And the little boy says, Daddy, I want to ride that ride. And he says, so do I, son. Yep. So do I.

That's a family chuckled dickening. And you get a sick Upskirt shot Upskirt shot They say that while we're focused on a giant woman's panties Yep Can I just say by the way Thanks to the power of the internet

Yes This woman is Playboy playmate Jody Ann Patterson Oh so they didn't I guess they did go for someone But it's not a cameo Like you know I mean it's not oh that's Carmen Electric

Oh that's Jenny McCarthy She was playingmate of the year She's famous to someone I'll say that much To somebody that's for sure but yes there's two shots of her underwear like there's another another one then they decide

that the only way to kill her is with this fucking this bomb that they figured out like oh everybody's like you know all they do is hit the button the button's too small they can't hit it's like a laser ray addition to the bomb sure and Sean William Scott has been watching this monkey

using primitive tools to do something is like oh I could do that and that's kind of a gag it's kind of a little bit of a gag you know he pulls out of a straw he hits the button she goes kabumers oh this woman was on an episode of According to Jim. Well, you do. You know, the other day, oh, wow, I saw this movie.

It was so fucking funny, and I had the boner the entire time. Guys, I had a big case of chuckled dick watching, dude, where's my car? Wait a, where's they? That's not her. No, no, that's not her. No, we're not doing it. I thought she was big. She's not 80 feet tall?

What a fucking rip-off. Oh, actually, so this is Cabin weird connection here. This woman was also in the video for the Zebrahead song Playmate of the Year. That's probably the connection right there. That's what it is. That's your thesis, Chris. But before she gets zapped, we see her panties one more time. Keep saying panties.

I will, dude. Don't worry about it. She explodes. And for literally no one, Charlie O'Connell's alive. Yeah. Oh, right. Covered in, covered in like guts.

Yeah, guts or shit. He's covered in shit. He's covered in shit. But those pants, by the way. You're getting to the panties, right? I was not actually good. You're not getting to the panties. They,

they fly through the air and fall down as well. Oh, right. You'd think they'd be covered in goop or something. Yeah, something. They're dry. Dry is. I'm not I mean that as sexual way, but like he's covered in a person. Yeah, sure.

Pannies are dry. And they're in one piece. I guess because you could actually focus on them falling to the earth instead of a splat Kevin you're you're upset because they weren't tattered like the Incredible Hulk

yeah so I'm upset too yeah so Gary everybody gets you know dude where's my car rat party everybody gets some props you know do you want Ashton Coucher's hat maybe you can get oh you know you can get the Rubik's cube give me the fucking panties just give me the fucking pant the big ones

no the big ones Larry Clark will get me 80,000 dollars for them Shut the fuck, get him the fucking panties. Man, I can't believe Larry Clark won that auction. What a bummer. You sure you don't want, like, I mean, like from the titular scene, the track suits,

they love the... Give me the fucking panties. Somebody give this guy the panties. I'm fucking double parked right now. Just give me the fucking panty. Give me the fucking panty. Oh, and fucking whatever, dude, these aliens take the cult guys with them.

Well, there's some fucking dip shit line here where they're like, oh, there's a party. We heard there's a good party in like whatever constellation or something. And they're like, yay, we can go to space. And like, oh, thank you Jesse and Chester. We're giving you this super present.

But we have to wipe your memory because you can't. And they do like a man in black gag. So like the whole town. Well, you'd have to. I mean, like, my God, this giant woman was just attacked everybody. You're going to have to rectify. I mean, the place is probably trashed. Yeah. That's

Yeah, you'd probably have to get the cleanup crew to make everything work out. Oh, sure. Leave a couple hundred bucks. So is that like aliens come down and clean shit? Yeah, probably. All right. That answers that. So then they wake up the next day and they're like, dude, where's my car?

I'm, I was, I can't remember anything of the last day. Right. But it turns out the car is there this time. And they don't have any memory of the events that we witnessed. Right. It's almost like. The movie didn't matter. But then this is where, like, your head should explode because they go to the girlfriend's house.

They're like, hey, we got you. These presents. They put on these necklaces, these alien technology necklaces. And it makes their chests bigger. Look! It's just like, dude, sweet. It's like, no, no, no. How is this happening?

Aren't you the least big concern? Isn't this terrifying? It's body horror. That has to hurt. This is a fucking hellraiser shit. No, they're babies. They think that's what sex is. But also the boobs got bigger.

That's that sex. Oh, sex is when the boobs get bigger. And what's your problem? My question is, like, why aren't like Marlis, whatever, and Jennifer Gardner, like, screaming in pain and in horror? Like, am I going to be like this forever? Like, what the fuck just happened to me? They're cool with it. Yeah, okay.

They are so cool with it. They're into it. I think that's what's implied. Yeah, because none of them are virgins anymore. They've had sex. Boops are bigger. Boves get bigger. It was a group sex.

Well, Jimmy, when a man loves a woman just enough, her boobs get bigger. That's it. If they're lucky, nine months later, the stork brings them a baby. Now let's go have Easter supper. Yeah, so, like, they notice that this enlargement takes place. a shibby is issued it's like a high five or whatever too right and then the movie just ends with a

dude sweet dude sweet and then we get like the finally the outtakes fucking finally did people have fun on this movie set you better believe it I was having a blast man I knew outtakes were coming and the movie's pretty short yes

and I was like oh yeah that's fine I'll watch that and it's just like I could not even look at the screen I just like had to look down and nodded the screen. I turned it off immediately. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The minute.

The minute it was over. The credits, I saw it was like, fuck. There was a, there's a callback joke at the very end of the credits, though. Was there? I think it's like an end now happens. Oh, an end then? Yeah, it happens at the very end.

Was it worth it, Eric? No. Was anything worth it, Chris? Was being born onto this planet worth it? I would say no. Well, maybe before the existence of dude, where's my car? I don't know.

Would anybody recommend this movie? No, no, no, no. I mean, like, I, again, I, Sean William Scott, like, I, I have some goodwill towards him, like, generally. Yeah, I do, too. I'm not coming out to, I'm not coming out to see his movies, but I'm like, oh, that guy's all right. We've been doing a lot of his movies lately. Yeah, we have. Final Destination was what made me realize I think that I do have some sort of goodwill toward him for some reason.

I can't define it. Ashley Coucher, I can't stand. This movie I can't stand. and all the gay stuff and the trans stuff and all of it's just no leave it where it is. It's as bad as ultraviolet

I would say. It is like in that level I could not fucking stand this. This I mean like it's not the thing is it's not funny. If any of it was fucking funny maybe I'd get it but like everything's lazy.

You were talking about that jackhammering scene. The guy is just jackhammering and the thing goes up. He doesn't even react to the thing going the sprout of water not really yeah because it nobody gives a fuck that's true like those background scenes like in a naked

gun or something yeah they're gags milked in a way that would be funny I'm trying I hope I didn't say milk because of all the big boob but I would definitely say don't watch this I mean you might have already in preparation for this and

that's on you you're now cursed yeah it's a no you know what's funny and I'm not recommending this movie one i have to admit by the way i saw this in the theater really it was december of 2000 i'd already been working at the multiplex since x-men came out funny enough like six months beforehand just you and a raven it was it was one of those movies where like you know like the you know a lot of movie theaters when like the bad or the like whatever the movie that's been playing for a long time has run its course you put it in the smaller house

because it's not selling as many tickets. This movie started in the smallest house kind of a situation. But yeah, I was seeing stuff for free. So I have seen this movie already. I knew what I was getting into. And the funny thing is, like, if it... Up until they get to that strip club, in my head, I was like, oh, fuck, man.

Like, this is... It's just a dumb stoner comedy. I laughed at that fucking dog puppet wholeheartedly. Like, I was really worried. But thankfully, the fucking backwardness of all of the gender stuff in this movie. It makes it 100% unwatchable. Just like way to kill any kind of rewatch value

your movie would ever have. There's no reason to ever fucking revisit this. And I'm sorry to because I saw a lot of people on Twitter being like doing my quote unquote homework for the We Hate Movies episode. Eap and apologies in advance. What a fucking piece of shit movie. Hope you don't have kids. Also the thing is like a lot of comedies from

when they started. I guess Buster Keaton didn't address it that much. You want me to have a pizza pie? But there's been so much anti-gay, anti-any-one different, anti-outseider in all comedies until like two years ago. So tread lightly with big box comedies. Big box comedies specifically, yeah, absolutely.

Tread lightly with big box comedies. What a warning. But it is a legit warning. And that is, dude, where's my car, a teaching moment. from the year 2000 directed by Danny Liner rest in peace if you want more

we hate movies check out Patreon.com slash we hate movies a lot of good stuff going on that's right we just released

an episode on Serenity the 2018 Matthew McConaich 2019 2019 yeah that's right

Q1 was filmed in like 2016 probably yeah that is a terrible film where Matthew McConahey is in Florida

and it's not the beach bump which is a good movie where he's in Florida It's my Florida series, man. I'm waiting. Dude, he better fucking release another Florida movie this year.

It would be awesome if he did. It would be pretty cool. Florida trilogy? Hey, he can wait until 2020, man. I will still consider it the trilogy. A free willy remake where they close the fucking park for good. Yeah, kill that fucking, kill that she ape. I'm learning me the bad guy.

I'm dining on its bones. All right. I call whales, sea apes. Oh, man. As always. As always, we hate movies continues for some reason into the next week. Steve Sadek, what film will we be using as a discussion jumping off point for next week? Space Cowboys.

Oh, fuck. Okay. That's the song that they made for Insinct Sane for Space Cowboys. This is a Chris Cabin-Selax. And I know the name sounds like an anime, but apparently, it's not. It's not at all. Can you just quickly tell folks I want to do homework in advance what this film is? It's about a bunch

of old fucking astronauts. We have to go not to the moon. I think to go to a satellite or something. Star studded too, right? Yeah. Oh yeah. James Garner, Donald Sutherland. The Mulele himself. And Cleese would also directs. I don't know if they're going to the moon, but a little

bit of a tease, somebody winds up on the moon. So there's that. There is that. Spoiler. And I saw it in theaters again. It's a huge fucking loser. So until next week, where I continue proving what a fucking loser I am with space cowboys. I'm Andrew Jupin. Stephen Sadeh.

Chris Gavin. Eric Dudska. Take it easy. Shibby. Jimmy. Thank you.