We Hate Movies - S9 Ep427: Episode 427 - Bride of Chucky

Episode Date: June 18, 2019

On this week's episode, the Summer Blockbuster Extravaganza gets a little spooktacular as the gang chats about the ridiculous evil-dolls-gets-hitched sequel, Bride of Chucky! What’s with all the CGI doll in this movie? How strong is this little toy supposed to be? And why did this doll need to have genitals? PLUS: Ray Romano’s soul may be stuck in the body of a doll but he still can’t shake his family! Bride of Chucky stars Jennifer Tilly, Brad Dourif, Katherine Heigl, Nick Stabile, Alexis Arquette, and the late comedic genius, John Ritter; directed by Ronny Yu. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Sign up for free today. But hurry, Labor Day door buster deals won't last long. Loves, we help, you save. Valid through 9-1, while supplies last, program subject to terms and conditions. Details of Lowe's.com slash terms, subject to change. This week on the program, man, this franchise is terrible. It's Bride of Chucky. I'm Andrew Jupin.

Stephen Siddah. Chris Cabin. Eric Siskins. And we hate movies. Ah! Huh. Steve just slammed his dick in a door. Hello everyone. Welcome to We Hate Movies. Thank you for tuning in. As always, the

2019 summer blockbuster extravaganza rolls on this week. we are talking about I'm sorry everybody it's just it's one of the dumbest franchises imaginable I hate these movies so awful it's bride of Chucky the fourth entry in this stupid doll franchise from 1998 directed by Ronnie Yu who you may remember directed previous episode Freddy versus Jason it looks exactly the same it does it looks like Freddy versus Jason is happening like 30 minutes away from this movie the Ronnie U aesthetic garbage tag it's just very clean looking you know like It's garbage. Yeah.

He tries to connect it with Jason by half. I mean, that's just, can we just say it? We could just say it. Yeah. All right, I'm going to say it. Go for it. A hockey mask in like this sanitary. Dude, it's not just a hockey mask.

It's the hockey mask. It's fucking Michael Myers mask. It's a chainsaw for leather face. And fucking Freddy's glove is there. And pinhead's coming soon, by the way. But like Michael Myers mask looks right. Freddy's glove looks right. But this hockey mask.

Looks wrong. Well, it's like a dime store hockey match. Very cheap. You're a major motion picture. Go to a store. It's all bright white. It's plastic. It's like a cheap plastic.

Copycat killer maybe. That's the thing. The cheapness of it is the big eyes. Like Jason has tiny eye little slits thing. This thing is humonged. You literally have a prop department where people just, you go to a prop department. Like, hey man, can you make this for me? Like, no problem, sir.

Dude, apropos of my first note. Wow, universal pictures, question mark? I had no idea they had this franchise. Yeah. This is, I mean, so right there, you're fucking universal, man. I mean, I guess just to sum it up, it's the, it's the fourth child play movie where they introduced Jennifer Tilly to the franchise, who's in all the rest of these movies, it seems. Is she? She's only in the next one.

No, she's in seed and the end. Curts and cult? It's one of the later ones. I think she's playing a different character. Okay. Or is it this, is it, it's her human form again? Yes, maybe. sure. Is it one of them a prequel then? It could be flashback. She joins the Chucky franchise four

years after an Oscar nomination. Yes. Yeah. It's crazy. And three years of the times. You want to hear about hard times. Jennifer Tilly won an Oscar nomination and then she had to go to the Chuckie franchise. Well, the nomination was for Woody Allen's Bullets over Broadway. Yeah. So she had experience in monster movies. Drunking with Woody Allen. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. She didn't work with Roman Polanski, but Yeah, she could have gone on a train. And she was like, and she just did bound, which is like, that's the big one for her, I think. Like that's the movie.

That's, you say, Jenna Map. I always liked her. I always liked her, too. I was like, she's got a good energy. She's good, liar or liar also. She's very funny. Yeah, she's a good, good comedic actress. I would like to see her in like an HBO show as like the, not the lead, but like, and then every three episodes, Jennifer Tilly's around.

Right. Yeah. I could tolerate that. Or like Judd Appet. He likes getting old, you know, bring him back in. Wow, she's just calling people old. Yeah, you're right. Jennifer Tilly could start in that next four and a half hour totally improvised comedy.

We just got to put all the chucks in. Every yuck chuckle and laugh that we had on set. Speaking of Judd Apatow, Catherine Heigle. Yeah. Catherine Hegel is also in this movie. So after this stunningly arrogant crossover joke. at the evidence depository. Evidence depository.

Can I ask a question? Where does this movie take place? What is this town? No, it's New York. In western New York. I saw the patch on John Ritter's police. You know, from said Lockport, New York.

I didn't look it up. It's probably fictional. It's probably fake, yeah, but I guess because it's like, but they go from here to Niagara Falls and then all the way to Hackensack. Right. And one of the characters,

David, says that they put like police at the border. so they're near Canada. Yeah, they are close enough. So it's definitely like Buffalo, Rochester, suburb probably. But if you're tasked to go to Jersey, you got to get the fuck down there, man.

What are you going up to Niagara Falls for? Maybe it was on the way. Actually, is it real? Lockport is real. It's real. But the funny thing is, Lockport is just east of Niagara Falls. So they,

if geography is to be believed in this motion, picture. They drove west for a little bit, got to Niagara Falls, and went, whoops, and then turned around and drove to Jersey. I guess the Niagara Falls is there because these characters end up eloping and that's kind of like, I guess, they used to be, that's kind of

romantic. It's a honeymoon destination, kind of. Back when Don Draper was fucking his way across the USA. I will say, I mean, people still do it now. People still do it now. I know that. It's nowhere near as popular. No, no, exactly. I will say, the reason I ask about geography is so then this can't,

be the Michael Myers mask. This can't even be the Jason Forreys mask. I think that there was like a weird sex party the night before that was just like a Halloween thing. Somebody had a heart attack like a coke-fueled sex heart attack and they had to grab all this shit. So it's like

that's why that the mask is cheap. The thing is like everyone dressed up as these other characters. Dude. Because every fucking town has to have them now these days the Lockport New York Comic Con. Oh right. And every Everybody was cos playing up a storm fucking and sucking and blowing coke till the sun comes up.

Oh, jerk off my chainsaw. Oh, just touch it a little bit. Come on, leather, suck it. Come on, leather. Hey, leather, suck it. Grandpa fucks with the sledge. Cosplaying, that's when you dress up as Bill Cosby, right? I will say, speaking of monsters. I have such delicious sight. Oh, my God.

Oh, dude. That's going to be terrible. When I finally go to hell. It's going to be me and Bill Cosby down there. Roommates? Yeah, possibly. Totally. And then I'll be like, oh, man, I liked your earlier stuff. Why'd you have to do all that other shit, you asshole?

And then he's going to make you wear those sweaters as a diaper. Why? Well, that would be, because that's like hell. It's a hell thing. Now you got to wear them a sweater as a diaper. Make the chocolate pudding. Oh, God. What a hell.

What a hellish existence? See, we're confused. That's exactly right. It looks like you got a leaky diaper here. Oh, boy. Oh, dude, maybe, like, it strains the poop juice out. That's it. That's quite enough.

Sir poop juice. So this cop takes a bag out of this evidence depository, puts it in his cop car, and he's driving down the road. Smoking a cigarette with the window rolled up, by the way. Come on. Come on, everybody. Come on, everybody. You know, about your hot boxing. Nicotine.

Oh, my God. I was threw up. It was threw right up. And, yeah, he gets to where he's getting texts. Or not, is he getting, no, he's talking to, uh, we're pretext. He's talking to Jennifer Tilley. People used to talk. Remember we used to talk to each other?

But he is using a cellular telephone. He's talking to someone like, oh, I'll be there in a second, blah, blah, blah. He does a little bit of cigarette dick. He kind of drops the, the cherry of the cigarette falls on his crotch. So he's doing a little of that. He gets his throat slit. Yes. By someone in the backseat of the car is the idea.

And because, like, well, no, he doesn't buy a, what's it? Jennifer Tilly does it. Yeah, in the back seat of the car. No, she's just on the side. Like, she comes up to the side. She reaches in and gets it. She doesn't get in the car. Oh, he's not driving the car when this is?

No, no, he's parked. He's waiting for her. He's reaching over to get the doll and she comes up for. I thought he was driving the car. Yes. No, he, like, a very smart police officer would. He's in an abandoned warehouse just hanging out and like, yeah, window down. Why not?

Going to meet this person who's a known killer. So he drives somewhere and there's a cut and he's pulled over as that Because he's not in the parking lot of the evidence deposit. No, no, no, he's... So he's driving. He's in a fucking crazy. He's literally drove into a warehouse. Yeah.

Okay, I missed the warehouse. Pull over. I didn't watch the movie either. So, yeah, it gets his throat cut. You see, like, a pair of stems and some heels. And it's like, here's Jennifer Tilly. His throat has been cut. She takes the bag and takes the doll out of the bag.

Here we go. Here's Chuckie. Yeah. And, like, he's all messed up from the end of Child's Play 3. I think he can blowed up in that one? He does. It doesn't get blown up. It's mangled because it's in the...

They're like a roller coaster or something. There's like a little carnival that comes out. Yeah, because the movie mostly takes place in the middle of like a military school training facility. Yeah. And then at the end, like, fuck it. Let's go to a carnival. Yeah, right down the street, there's a carnival. I was a previous episode 100 years ago.

It was 112 years ago. I don't understand why don't they don't... Like, why would you keep the doll of Chuckie around? You burn it! Yeah, exactly. Even if you believe that there was the soul of bread, Durif, trapped in the doll via voodoo spell.

Yeah. But this Eric, this takes place a month after that. This is because Childs Play 3 took place in an alternate 1990 or a year after that. An alternate 1997. This is 1998 now. Because they age up Andy from part 2

to part 3 and make him like a preteen. Teenagerish character. Do you think that they waited that? That's why the, that's why they waited. They were like, we fucked it with a timeline. We have to wait seven years to make the next movie. They have to write what once went wrong, dude, absolutely. I will say I like that in all the other ones, like the whole thing is Chuckie wants

to get a real body. In this one, he's kind of like, you know what? No, I'm going to be a living doll from now on. He does, I mean, halfway through the movie, he does again want to be like, hey, I want to be a human being. But I think Chris is right, though, for a little bit. He's like, eh, fuck it. This is life now.

What is the end game for Chuckie in this movie? he wants to eventually wants to get to his own body but it's just a Skellington no he wants to get in the body of the guy Oh okay right okay He's gonna take her Faceless fucking nameless white guy Who's playing the male lead

That's good body man Yeah no that's the thing too Like the other movies is like I'm gonna be a little boy That way I have a little more time in my life I'm gonna get me into a hot 21 year old dude man Now I'm now I'm a hot dude We're walking around

Although have you going to be a hot dude for once Don't get too many ideas here to say that I don't want you getting into voodoo and amulets. Steve is a good point. You never know how ugly a kid will end up. Exactly. You know, like when a cute kid grows up to be this ugly Shrek-esque person. You're right, dude.

You want to see the final product before you buy it. Exactly. Like, puberty is going to come and hit you. It's like a fucking a mutation that happens. You never know which way, where everything's going to land, how the teeth are going to separate. I would say, like, 21 is the perfect age to grab a body. Every seed package shows you what the plant's going to look like. It's important.

It's important to know. This guy is actor Nick Stabil, who, or Stabil possibly, he... Is he in anyone's stable of actors? No, he's now a fairly successful... Real estate agent? No, he still acts. He does... Video game.

What do you call him? Shut the fuck up, Chris. Soap operas. Oh, okay. That makes sense. And in the fucking horrendous 2000 biopic Beach Boys and American Family, which I definitely

fucking saw. Yikes. He plays Dennis Wills. All right. He looks like Hugh Dancy actually. He wishes. He looks like no one. Yeah, he does. That's what I was feeling. So she has the doll. She brings it back to her trailer and she sews it up and she's known to have many dolls, I guess. Well, when you're creepy doll person.

Yeah, and she fetishizes Chuckie. She's got a Chuckie tattoo. Was she in any of the other films? No, but she's, we're told that she's Chuckie's like ex-girlfriend. Yeah, interesting. When he was, when he was Brad Durf. Yeah. Right. And his name was like Charles Napier or something. Charles Lee Ray, like he took a shot at the president. That's the weird thing is that you're supposed to remember that. I just see a headline that says serial killer Ray. Yeah. Finally caught. I'm like, that was his serial killer name. Ray. And Well, and let me tell you, and this is, to quote Eric Sisko, or to paraphrase, I'll say in this instance, it's okay to like a franchise. But here's the thing, Cabin, the fucking people out there that like these Chucky movies, they remember that.

And the movie makers here, Ronnie You and all these fine folks at Universal Pictures, they know that those people know. Ray is on the loose. They don't care about people like us, but like for the diehards, you know that his name was Charles Ray. It's just a weird headline to read. Like, it's just like Ray. Because you thought like Ray Romano? No, I just thought like... Oh, no, I'm murdering people.

Now, I'm stuck in a doll here. All right, yeah, I'm stuck in a doll. But I'm still trying to get the cable reception to work. Andy? I'm just a stupid doll, but my mother-in-law is still annoying. Ray Romano just stumbles upon a voodoo, right? Asimah, don't make a wonder, ba. strangled him and I said,

what did you do? What did you do? Raymond, I am now also a doll to Brad Garrett, your brother. Yeah, I'm a doll too. Your father. Well, they should have brought him back. He's dead.

Peter Boyle doll. Yeah, put his soul in a doll. Put it in a Mr. Potato Head. I don't care. That's close enough to reality. I was just close to getting that in Toy Story. This close to getting that and fucking Rickles came and got me.

So she rebuilds the doll whilst Living Dead Girl by Rob Zambi's blaring in this trailer. Which is a good song. It's great. The song kind of rules. Dude, I was, I was digging into Rob Zombie in the 90s.

Well, what's weird, though, is the credit that's given here. It's like, and title song by Rob Zombie. Like, they're crediting the fact that his song is playing over these titles at the beginning. Yeah, you texted this yesterday and you were like, is this made for the movie? And you just shook me to the

core and I had to look it up and it doesn't look like that's the case. No, it was on an album of his, but like, it's just weird to credit it that way. It's his best achievement. I think it's similar to the Venom, Eminem song, because that song was on his record before Venom came out.

And then it was also... But he clearly wrote it for Venom. Yes, but like the movie didn't come out. Yes. But no, this Living Dead Girl is just a regular Rob Zombie song that they were like, maybe that was like the sweetener, like Rob Zambi's like, I don't know, man, I don't dig on those fucking dolls and then they were like hey

what if we give you a special credit he's like I try not to watch any horror movies that were made before 1953 or after 19503 or after yeah he likes old things he does but I could see he's probably a gore hound loser

oh sure no I think he probably has like slightly better taste you think so this was just money yeah he wasn't supporting this film I don't think the film was supporting him so she does it she does a voodoo ritual nothing happens

and then her boyfriend Damien Baylock comes in played by Alexis Arquette Damian Baylock is that his last name? It's Damien for sure I don't remember the last name that's the gag later in the movie they figure out who he really was oh I see oh right

and yeah so Alexis Arquette comes in and she's like playing her boyfriend and it's a fire performance, I guess. Well, it's a weird, like, she's playing this character that... It's a goth dude. Yeah, but also is, like,

a serial killer in training or something. Well, a poser. The character's, like, giving Jennifer Tilly like fake polaroids of a murder victim or some shit. Yeah, that turn out to be of the character of Damien in disguise trying to pass off

as a corpse. Yeah, but it's weird, because this Damien walks in and he's like, I finally did it here, look at my work or whatever. And she's like, don't you think I haven't seen dead bodies before? I guess she's some like murder expert or obsessive. She kills people all the time. She's like Jennifer Tilly in this movie is very much like one of those ladies that would write letters to Charles Manson. Yes.

Like, I love you. But is she, is this character supposed to be a serial killer? Yes. Yeah. That's a serial killer. That's her hobby. Her hobby is it. You know what?

But the thing is then I need to see some of that shit before you're going. going and get in the fucking Chuckie back. Give me a prequel movie with Jennifer Tilly, Brad Durf, dating, learning voodoo. How does this voodoo happen? A bunch of voodoo sues, dude. I know they do a joke here with Jennifer Tilly having a voodoo for dummies book. So, but fine. But, but Brad Durf's like the real deal. Like he's trained with voodoo high command, priest or whatever. And the first one, yeah, he has to kill his master. Yeah. It's like a samurai movie. yeah i mean i don't know like i guess if you are a serial killer it's probably a good bet to be like

well i might as well get involved with the dark arts yeah like you're already going to hell yeah what does it matter and i don't know if voodoo is really directly connected to hell necessarily i have no but like dark there's dark versions of voodoo for sure yeah like black magic yeah the dark arts the occult yeah might as well get in on that if you know you're going to hell exactly i want in at me on twitter What's the downside? Yeah, so she brings, so like, Damien comes in. They're like, hey, look at this thing, blah, blah, blah.

She's like, oh, you pose her or whatever. And they start to sort of, she realized the doll isn't where, like, has come back to life because, like, it leaves the circle. There's like a streak. She's like, oh, this is going to be awesome. So she takes Damien and handcuffs him to the thing. Yeah, and it's like, oh, we're going to have a three-way tonight. And, like, she gets the doll and fucking puts it on Damien's stomach and is, like, going to blow him or whatever's going on.

And then, like, Chuckie's little head turns around. Alex Sarkat's doing a lot of heavy lifting in this scene. She's just like, wow, I'm really stupid. Like, oh, this, like, hey, I'm totally into you. And I want this doll involved in our sex? Like, no thank you. She also starts belittling. a doll.

Like, oh, this is such a stupid doll. I'm like, what are you doing? Damien does have the line that, like, he ain't big enough for, uh, to satisfy a woman like you. So then that's when Chuckie turns its head. Yes. And, uh, he goes, and it ain't the size that counts. Asshole.

Yeah. And not a great kill here. I need to see Chuckie doing like connollingus or something. I just want to know, like, what is that? Listen, it takes me a while to get you there, but you'll get there. Just wait, no. Hold on. Wait, my, uh, my, my tongue isn't real yet.

Give me like five days and this tongue will be real. You got a wet chucky up, you know? Like, if you're going to have put put a little like water in his mouth. I mean, you're using all sorts of bad dragon lube to get where you need to go. A little canola oil, dude, just save money. You got a dull tongue. You don't want it to be just dry, like dry plastic. on you?

Yeah, I think that's true. Yeah. You want to wet it up. It works the same way with Joe Pantliano, actually. Rub my bump. Whet me up. Loop up my head.

Loop up my head and rub it against you. Joe Pantleano was a serial killer that he was murdered and he actually had to go inside a living doll. And he did, he was like, yeah, I'll be an actor. He just started over.

Exactly. As opposed to Chuckie, who's like, I'm going to Keep killing. It's like, ah, you know what? The serial killer ain't for me no more. I'm going to be an actor now. Maybe Joe Pantiliano, oh, my God, is the great example of what we were talking about.

If you, if Chucky had actually come back, or Brad Dorff's Charles Ray, had come back in Andy, and then Andy grew up to be disgusting. Oh, I see. You could grow up to look like Joe Pantleano. You also want to make sure the growth spurt happens. Trust me, everybody. You want to make sure that happens. Now, Joe, before we put you in this body, you should know you're going to be in a bunch of VOD productions.

That the... Ignorance is bliss. The doll's just eating a steak We do find out that Apparently Chucky does not have a bump No I never knew this He's got genitals

For some reason this child's toy has genitals Okay Did they build Did like the factory Make the good guy doll Have genital? You don't remember the first one where they're like Good guy doll has a real penis

They can play with And testicles Full disclosure. Before we recorded this episode, I watched like 30 minutes of the original film. By now, we've already done our Chicago show. It was great. It was so great. Thank you, everyone, for coming. Really fantastic. Oh, thank you for the cake, by the way. Yeah. I was surprised it wasn't poisoned.

You didn't have to throw a confetti like that. It was nice, but you didn't need to do it. Yeah, so apparently he's just got a dick and balls, which I don't understand how this happened unless it was added later. I think that's the voodoo curse. It's like, like maybe there was, like he does the voodoo line to get himself put in a doll

and he adds on another line and give it a dick. And then like the voodoo magic like expands the body and like a T1,000 with plastic. I'm with you so far. Now I got that

how to bring my life back into this doll. How do I give it a penis? Is there a spell for that? It's a follow-up curse. And I guess it's dick can get hard. even though it's you're already hard you're plastic. I have the

explanation for all of this is. Thank you. With the start of this bride of Chucky and it looks at least like the next few sequels which I have not seen and will not watch unless I am forced to do so for this program. Oh, you will be. What this movie

starts off doing a lot more of which the original three movies have a little bit here and there this movie is desperately trying to be a horror comedy. Yes. So But that's why it's like, now I got a fucking dick so I can make dick jokes because it's hilarious. Well, this movie's not scary at all. No.

The Alexis Arquette murder, Chuckie takes the lip ring out and then just suffocates her. And it's like suffocation in a slasher movie, no fucking bueno, dude. Cut that head off. Let's do it. It's a doll sitting on a pillow. Which, guess what? I'm not getting suffocated by that. The weight relation to this little.

Yeah, what the hell was that? I mean, just throw it. She is handcuffed to the bed, but even still, like, I could get a fucking doll off my head. You know, you can make the argument, like, Brad Durf's soul weighs more, but we've learned from other films that the only weighs 21 grams. The soul weighs 21 grams, so that's not adding enough to suffocate anyone. I thought Alex Rokette was, like, faking it? Yes, me too. I was like, she's going to wake up and just be like, creep out here, la da-da.

Yeah. No, but so Damien is murdered. But it's also weird because, like, later in the movie, like, a lot of it is, like, this doll's, like, punching and doing stuff, like, even if a doll, like, a doll, like, wouldn't have the strength to cut into human flesh, even with a knife. That's true. You know what I mean? But they do bring that, like, the first movie, when Chuckie, like, kicks the lady out the door, like, it's sense that there is some force behind it. So it's, like, doll man rules, I guess. I think the—or Ant Man.

Well, I think that what's happening here is, like, you're just like, oh, it's because of the black mad. So whenever Chucky does something like that, it's because a wizard did it. Yeah, exactly. So we're introduced to ding-dong. It's David and some gay comedy here. This character, David, John Ritter, who's in this movie is like the sheriff slash stepdad of our female protagonist, which is Jade, played by Catherine Heigel. I will be both, I will say that the gay comedy here is not my. mocking of the fact.

I was expecting it to go that way really quickly and it never does. It doesn't. A little bit because this character, David, shows up to pick up Jade as like the date. Yes. And John Ritter sees through it and he's just like, oh, and you're going to college right with a sports scholarship and it's just

like, oh yeah, yeah, you know, it's figure skating and John Ritter's just like I know that you're obviously figure skating is only a homosexual activity. That's the vibe of this scene. Because John Ritter is like hockey, right? He's like, no figure skating.

He's like, uh-huh, okay. Yeah, all right. There's a theater arts joke as well. I understand all that. But keep in mind, we could be worse. A few weeks ago, we just did an episode on Dude Where's My Car from the year 2000. That's true. It could be a lot worse than Bride of Chuck.

And it also, it matters that Don Mancini is actually openly gay. So it's like, that's, I, who wrote this movie, he's like, guess, like, we're doing figure skating jokes, but it's not like, we're not dropping F bombs. And he's not like. And at least he's the villain. Like the sheriff is kind of a villain in this movie. And he's not the fucking hero. Dude, where it's my car.

Yeah, that's also very important. So she comes down and like, John Ritter's like, yeah, he's a lot better than your last boyfriend. John Ritter in this movie, sluming it.

RIP. Also, by the way, the surprisingly, I mean, I guess, welcome to the year 2019. A surprising about this movie,

the stars are dead. Alexis is R-I-P-R-B. John Ritter RIP.I.P. It's the curse of Chucky. The career of Catherine Hegel are I think. So there's three now. Is there anyone else that's dead? No, that's it.

No. Okay. Duro, thank goodness, is still around. I think the needle-nosed pervert guy still living. Thank God. Needle-nose pervert. The guy who plays needle-nose in this film. The deputy. Who's got potent pervert face.

Potent pervert face. That dude definitely takes one and no one. Indeed. So she comes down. and John Ritter's like, oh, this guy is a lot better than your last boyfriend. Good thing you broke up with him. She's like, yeah, see you later.

And it looks like they're going to prom or something. Like, it seems that way. We're sort of dressed pretty nicely. There's a corsage and one more like, oh, and David knows like, oh, you put that in water, you put this in there, the flower bloom for it. Put it in the water and drop an aspirin in it. Yeah, it'll bloom for you for a week.

And then red alarms start going off on John Ritter's shoulders. A man knows about flowers. He's like loading a gun. so they drive a little bit and they're like perfect crime and then like her boyfriend who we've already kind of talked about this Nick Stabil dude bops up

and he's like yeah baby and he's dressed like fucking Austin Powers I don't know where this dude's going I mean like this ruffled out it's kind of like a dumb and dumber vibe it is but I think it's supposed to be cool

in rotation marks so they're driving down the road and like it's yes this dude's in the back seat and they're kind of like making out they get pulled over immediately by this guy this needle nose they call him and we come to find out that this dude is like

getting paid extra by John Ritter to like harass them all night and I mean it's a small town like there's got to be other crime going on we go we go later to like a drive in or whatever where everyone is smoking pot because the town is like you know it's cool the sheriff and this deputy are all up

Captain Heigel's ass, we can run riot over this down. It's like when you set a barn on fire before you go rob a bank. Yes, exactly. It's like, Catherine Heigle left the house. Let's all go do the crime. I've never heard of this. Is this a tale from Eric Siska's youth? That happens

in upstate New York for sure. All the time. No, yeah, that definitely happened near me growing up. Yeah, you set a fucking barn on fire or something like that. Then you go rob a bank? Yeah. That makes sense. Yeah. Then you then you hightail it to another part of the country and you get a warrant out for your arrest. And then you get arrested

and extradite back to New York and you go to jail. This is from personal... And then you start a podcast. Yeah. Then you get your body put... You get your soul put into a doll. And then you start a podcast.

Yeah. So like people are like openly shooting up in the streets, I guess. Is the idea like, whatever man. And Chandra is like, no, Catherine Heigel. I must protect her virginity. And they're like getting breathalizers by this dude and whatnot. And Ritter like pulls up. And he calls this dude.

trailer trash fuck and it was like that's kind of weird to hear John Ritter use profanity like that It is And it's a little disturbed He's like oh you know

You're 17 When you're 18 You could do whatever you want But I'm not gonna let you wind Bring my dirt He's her uncle He's like I'm not gonna let you Bring my name into the fucking

Jerry Springer show Yeah he also says that When she turns 18 She could go to hell For all he cares What is this relationship? I think it's a thing where like her parents died and John Ritter was like

tasked with raising her and he didn't want that. But this is like Jane Austen's England. Like you don't have to act like this. I did kind of want like the police rate as he's getting out the police rate of like, oh my God, they're all dead. Oh my God. I got to deal with my little niece here.

Could I say the funniest thing a homeless person ever said to me? I was my now wife's neighbor Jews living in, there's this guy that would always call me Harry Potter. Really? Always call me Harry Potter because I had glasses and I'm a white guy. I told you not to wear your cloak everywhere. So like every time I would walk in,

first you would start with, oh, look, Harry Potter's here and I'm like, all right, that's fine. And then like, he would get, he would go on further. He's like, a whole bunch of wizards moving in this neighborhood. It's amazing. And then eventually, because both my wife and I have glasses,

he's like, are you guys brother and sister? Or like, no, no. That's what you want to do. And we're walking away and he just goes, see you on the Jerry Springer show. That is insane. It's really good. I can't believe this guy was like.

Is he playing Dangerfields like that? I think so. This guy's a genius. That was a weird club. It seemed like you would have to pay them to go on and why would, I don't know. Yeah, no, it was kind of weird. Although that was the site of one of the greatest things in entertainment history was the press conference for the opening of Caddyshack. There's a book

that came out, I think it was one of the producers of Caddyshack wrote it or something, or maybe one of the writers and it's like the history of the movie. Is it called Caddy Book? I don't think so, but it should have been. Or Bookshack. Bookshack is where you sell the Caddy. But there's some story about they did the press conference for the opening of the movie at Dangerfields

and every single one of the cast members that was there was fucking horrifically hungover. Oh, sure. I think that's a scene and a stupid futile gesture. Oh, is it? I think there's a scene. I couldn't bring myself to watch that narrative. I watched it and I don't remember it.

Wow. So that's a little ringing endorsement. Just like me and bride of Chucky apparently. So she, he's like, all right, you're not going out tonight, Missy. And she's like, oh gosh, darn it. And you're like, is Catherine Heigel supposed to be the main character in this movie? Very hard to tell. Because she is like, if you're doing it, she's quote unquote the final girl. But this movie isn't an effective slash. either because like usually it's a group of friends or you know we're in a country house we're

in a haunted whatever it's a family it's a road trip slasher which kind of doesn't work part of this is also like a hitchcock wrong man thing yes because they're they wind up jessie and jade wind up being accused of the murders that chucky starts committing and so they're like on the run trying to clear their name and shit and that carries over from the first one because they think the fucking kid did it in the first one. But that's way different and interesting though. Like, oh, is this like this murderous kid

and he's like blaming it on this doll? Like that's actually something. This teen couple that nobody could care about just riding around in this fuck wagon. Because she disappears for, like, and then we go back to Jennifer Tillian. We're just doing Chuckie stuff. Yeah.

So like Chuckie is the protagonist of his own horror movie, which is not the way you do this. At least not a slasher. Yeah. You know. I think she's the... I think Tiffany is supposed to be the main character. Jennifer Tilly's character.

Yeah, she is the first build. That makes sense. I think she's because, like, it's not... I mean, it might be the final boy being what's nothing face. Nothing face. Jesse is the character. Mixed the Beals. I'm sorry.

That'd be a good horror villain. Nothing face. That's fucking Slender Man, dude. Oh, yeah. Slender. So that movie was not good. Slender man? Oh, God.

It's not even worth talking about that. Even like any, like, spooky, like, slender imagery? Yeah, is he in it? Because I can just look at that guy and get spooked. Towards the end, he's in it, but like... Towards the end, get out of here. No, it's like mostly like, I see visions of him and it's not really. 20 minutes in, I better see a slender man in a forest.

And is the slender mansion involved at all? I don't remember. It's so bad, I don't remember it. In that documentary, they're talking about, not only do they want to meet the slender man, they want to go to the slender mansion. I got to see this dog. documentary was so disappointing to me. Because so little of it is

about Slender Man shit comparatively to how much is the fucking court case and whatever else. How hard is it to do this right? Re-edit that doc or remake that movie. Get the Slender Man shit involved. I want to see it.

Pay the guy that fucking invented Slender Man for all this shit, including the documentary. Do they like know who that person is? I don't know. I just know it was like, I think it was like a Franklin T. Slender. There's like a Photoshop contest or something to make weird imagery. Yeah.

And this dude creates a fucking iconic character. Don Mancini's Slender Manx with the eye word. People are killing for Slender Man. Actually, yep. I stand corrected. I imagine just some guy in a bar. It's like, yeah, I made, I created Slender Man. And no one believes me.

The blood on my hands. Blood on my hands. Plus, I didn't see any points from that fucking movie they did. So he's got a mansion. He's got a slender. butler he's got a slender car he's got a slender basketball he's got a slender cat a slender dog yes he's much like horrors dilbert i want to see the slender car because i just imagine that it's like super tall it's got a super high roof it's all very narrow the car has a top hat maybe

so he uh so tiffany uh is like oh chucky we're gonna be together forever he's like yeah baby and she's like remember this wedding ring you gave me now we could find once we find you a body we can get you we can get married and he's like that wasn't an engagement ring I was gonna hawk that for something it's just some lady I killed Vivian Van Pelt oh remember how I was a serial killer

she can't remember that oh yeah I remember so she gets pissed and she's like oh my god and she throws him in like a playpen for babies and like locks him in which she has come on you know he's getting out of this you don't you this thing can suffocate people

it's gonna get out of this wooden crib you locked him in it's a doll he can just squeeze through yeah the folly when she throws him in this cage though it's like wow like a hard day's work is done and she goes to bed

and this was I appreciate a little bit of creepy imagery here is Damien is still dead in that bed oh yeah and she like crawls in next to him and goes to sleep not bad they don't do anything with it you never fucking see it again no no necro stuff that we know nothing like that dude nothing nothing at all

unfortunate I was I was waiting for like yeah hog and the covers kind of joke. Yeah, that would actually made it better. It would have fit the tone of the film. The next day she's taking Damien out in the trunk and she sees Jesse

who's like her neighbor and she's like flirtatious with him. She's like, hey, could you help me put this in my trunk? Hey, sweet face. Yeah, she called him sweet face. Yeah, it's kind of weird. No, nothing for you. Jennifer Tilly, his name is nothing face.

Hey, nothing face. Wow, you look like my old neighbor, Slender Man. You look like all of my old neighbors because I can't. tell the difference. You make me think that I have facial recognition problems, but then I see other people.

Oh, no, I don't. That guy has a nothing face. Nothing face would be great at, like, Robin Banks. You're like, you know, all the cameras wouldn't, like, spot him. You'd look for me as always blurry. Dick Tracy's biggest villain, nothing face. Right. Well, in the movie, Madonna was, was, uh, the blank.

Yeah, the blank, which was such cool imagery. That character back in 1990, I was, I was like, I wish my face was blank. Also, she uses the voice modulator from Return of the Jedi there, the Han Solo misses you very much. You read from Bosch, the Princess Leia costume as a bounty hunter. Yeah, totally. I love those weird voices.

I love nothing faces. Dick Tracy, I definitely have a dick. It's not a woman. It's definitely a dicked person. A dicked person. I remember, like, the twist in that movie through it. When I was a kid, I saw this at, like, it was like a birthday party. Everyone went out to go see Dick Tracy.

I thought it was a dicked character the entire time. Nobody suspected. It was a dickless person. My hat flew off my head when I watched that. It was a little boy. I could not get over. The world is now broken into two columns. The dicted and the dickless.

You, sir. At least someone didn't say the undict. The undictor. The undictor. whatever you know yeah i'm just talking specifically in the dick tracy universe yes for sure yeah the comic book world i uh in the dick tracy universe everyone's dick looks like dick tracy it's got a little yellow hat it's got a little fucking radio on it i gotta say stay tuned for dick tracy man i think so that'd be fun um i haven't seen that movie in like 25 years it's fun

but it's also just plenty to talk about um so she is now like she's like flirting with this dude and like he's like no thing he's all it's a real like no thing yeah this guy knows what's up immediately he's like yeah there's probably a corpse in that crate she buys a doll to make fun of chucky it's a bride doll she's like here chucky you could fuck this you fucking loser that's what she says pretty much i know but it's just so stupid it it is meanwhile chucky's like sitting in this crate and she's i guess apparently given him like play blocks to mess around with and he spells out kill Tiffany slow Yeah

Kind of a fun He's doing like Speak and Spell Which I believe is in the first movie Right I believe so yeah Yeah so that's kind of a callback there So this is like their home life

He's stuck in this little crate While she takes a bath Yes And she's watching Bride of Frankenstein And I'm like oh well There's a fucking perfect movie I wish I was watching Put a hat right on it

Just right on it Just right on it And I have to say Something that's incredibly dumb That I just noticed Because I get the Tribune page up here So we can help get these character names right and whatnot. If this is your first episode, that's

the IMDB Tribune. That's right. So we have this like footage from fucking Bride of Frankenstein and on the IMDB, it's like rest of cast listed alphabetically all uncredited Colin Clive, Boris Karloff, Elsa

Lancaster, and Ernest The Zeiger from Bride of Frankenstein. Come on. They're not. That, those estates would be fine to not be associated with this movie. I'm sure of it. It's probably got it. It's honor right don't you just it's fine i don't need a homage ma i'm updating i'm db because boris carloff clearly took his name off of this film like shut up no that was uh rob zombie was like you can't credit boris carloff

it was part of his it was like a give me the credit for the song b take boris carloff off of this movie right off uh so chucky breaks out of his pen and he's gonna kill tiffany we get the chucky scream right He runs into the bat room, which is fucking great. There's a little bit of a scuffle here. Only one Chucky scream in this movie. I could have used another. Yeah, I could have used at least two or three more, to be completely honest. When you get stabbed at the end, doesn't they?

Oh, maybe. A little, but, like, this is like the... The Chucky scream is more of a battle cry, not a thing of pain. Exactly. Well, it's like Jack Nichols into the Shining when he kills Skatman Crothers. It's that same yell. Oh, right. It's called arms.

When Chucky led the Scottish and Braveheart. And then when, what was it, Lord Longshanks, like, cuts up Chucky's body and puts it to all separate corners. Yeah, dude, when that doll was drawn and quartered, that was awesome. Lord Longshank's had a good idea. That's what you need to do to this Chucky doll. You've got to separate that shit. Send some to friends. Well, some fucking trailer trash person's going to crisscross the continent to fucking sew it back together.

Well, that's the thing. To keep the trailer trash away, you've got to fucking do international. That's why you should just melt it down. Terminator 2 that shit. How does this even work? Where are those sole pieces? Like, is it like the head has like a phantom body now or phantom limb or like Phantom thread?

How does the soul work? Phantom thread, of course. Yeah, I want some rabbit, some sausage. Eggs. Lots of eggs. Asparagus with butter, not oil. My hungry little boy. Yeah, I'm right.

That's right. I'm a hungry little boy. doll come to life, and I make dresses. All right, now you're going to have the camera on me as I seductively and slowly put these dress socks on. She's asleep in the what? I'm going to get that dress off or, oh my God, I can't. I'm a doll.

Are you an agent here to ruin my life? You said here to ruin my morning? That's right. Welcome to House of Woodchuck. It's like a horse came through the room. So who would Jennifer... Would Jennifer Tilly in this scenario? She would have to be the sister.

She'd be the sister. Yeah, I think that's... Yeah, I guess Catherine Hegel's Alma. Yeah, that makes sense. But so he kills her, he tries to stab her, she throws him away, he shoves the TV in the bathtub, which is why you don't have a TV in your bathroom. I, man, I would love to bathe and watch television,

but I don't trust anything. I would be too scared. That TV would fall off the wall or fall off the counter. Also, by the way, got to tell you, pretty great mobile home here. It's pretty spacious. It is. It's to have a bathtub in it. She's got a bathtub.

She's got a living space. She's got another, a bedroom kind of an area. It's almost as if the exterior was a trailer and the interior was just a set they had. It's almost a, but I like how it exists. You know, maybe it was a double wide. We didn't see the other side of it. It's true. So he kills her

And this is the part I actually didn't understand Because he's like You're gonna die I hate you so much By the way Now you're immortal like me Well I think it's a thing where it's like

His I guess motivation is Yeah like I hate her And I wanted to die But it's a greater fuck you To curse her To curse her the way I have been cursed And he does it

And he says it I always love the Chuckie spell He just goes Baminet does a bo And he's just like going for it It always... Verata Nicca. Always cracks me.

Every does not fail to make me stupid. It's a doll casting a spell. It's hysterical. And he does it and she wakes up as the doll. Right. And she like modifies herself. She like dyes her hair, paints her nails. Oh, because she needs to be an alternative doll.

Yeah, man. Just be a regular doll. Well, she's a living dead girl. Yeah. But where does she get this tiny leather jacket? That's a great. tiny like Doc Martin's like what is going on? I mean I guess the idea

she has so many other dolls, she might have a punk doll somewhere in there. Oh no no, didn't you know it's the neighbor? Bought my baby a leather jacket. My little three-year-old here's got a leather jacket and we're going to go. What a cool kid. I got a cool kid. This cool kid's wearing a leather jacket. There's a

baby cigarette for you. Oh it's got, no, it's not gum, it's got nicotine. Don't look out. Baby motorcycle. All right, baby, here you go. Here's a bottle full of warm beer. What do you mean you're not going to tattoo my baby? What are you

I paid you $200. You will tattoo my baby. Tattoo my baby. And that's another Rob Zambi. You got to go to the South China Sea to fucking tattoo a baby. You know, like it's got to be totally international water. It's got to be that boat that Ritchie Tenenbaum

was on. I get it to you though. People have done it. I bet you someone's doing it right now. On the deep rising boat, there were tattooing babies. It just didn't show it. No questions asked. Anthony Heed's just like, okay, and here's our tattoo parlor, and right next door to it is the baby tattoo parlor. And the small door.

And the cat's tattoo parlor is better. Oh, that's right. You can tattoo a cat on this boat. I've saved up for eight years to get Kevin J. O'Connor to tattoo my baby. We're on the boat tomorrow, and you're not stopping me, Lurlien. Eight years of wages to tattoo a baby. That's expensive. It's pretty pricey.

Because that skin is, like, more fragile than regular skin. It was five years even before the baby was conceived, just to make sure. Tattoo your baby. And then, like, once it grows up, it'll, like, that tattoo will stretch into this weird ink block. I thought it would look like anything. I think that's one of the reasons you don't tattoo a baby. Right. Just because it won't look very good at all.

Just one of the reasons. Yeah, one of the future. Right now, it looks like a skull eventually is going to look like the top of a hurricane. Well, you know what you could do maybe is you tattoo a baby with the idea that it will stretch into the image? Yeah. Uh-huh. You know? Oh, you do like something like it doesn't look right and then it'll grow into it. He'll grow into that tattoo. So you get a tattoo artist and one of the guys that does the mad fold-ins. Because that guy can understand how spatial relations would change over time.

Or those people that develop those things where it's like a tiny little dinosaur and then you put it in a like bowl of water and it grows into a bigger dinosaur. It's exact same principle to look tattoos. The exact same thing. So now he's like, all right, well we need to get to, we We need to get to my amulet, which is in Hackensack, New Jersey. And I think also part... Where's this amulet from? The heart of Dimbalah. Yeah, okay.

I think, because he never wants any other movie. It's a new thing. And he doesn't die with an amulet. I just watched the first one. He doesn't have an animal. So there's no cursed amulet. There's no, like, I got this from the guy who taught me voodoo. No, but they have a picture of him, like, dead in the toy store with the amulet on,

but in the original, he doesn't have it, aren't. I see. A little bit of Photoshop. But also, I would be like, you're not like, well, this serial killer wanted to be buried with his amulet, so we're going to, like, you know what I mean? Respect his wishes.

Exactly. Like, that goes into hawk. Yeah. You hawk it in the victim's family, you get a little piece. Famously, Dahmer wanted to be buried with his teddy bear. Just couldn't get it. But I think also part of why Chuckie makes Tiffany a doll

is now he has a little doll accomplice. I guess so. but like she hates your ass it's better to have a human accomplice usually exactly I mean now she's a doll and can't drive a car and they have to go into this whole scheme if he just let her remain a prison

didn't murder her yeah she could drive the automobile the hack and sec herself we wouldn't have this riveting motion picture and then there's no picture we don't have a picture so she's like hey I'll get my neighbor to drive us there because I don't know why they don't just ship themselves do they breathe like it just makes where said to me like, hey, mail us to

Hackensack, we're good. That's what I thought, but again, I think to Eric's point, then you got no picture. Yeah, so she's like, I'll give you 500 bucks. She calls him on the phone and then writes a note too. It's like, 500 bucks to get us to Hackensack and another 500 bucks would you get there? So he's like, oh, cool. And he's like,

I'm going to run away with my girlfriend now. And again, Captain Huggles been out of the movie for 20 minutes. She comes back and she's like, what? And he's like, let's go get married, baby. I got 500 bucks. And then I'm going to get another 500 bucks. We can get a deposit on a house.

We're like, what are you doing? $1,000. I know it's $19.98, but come on. It's insane. The economy's booming, baby. Oh, yeah, if you're out there on the road right now, taking a haunted doll on a road trip, you just need $1,000 to start over, baby.

Catherine Heigel, no, don't worry. We can afford a bedroom for three months. I guess presumably he's going to, going to get a job. He does say I'm going to get a job, but even a thousand bucks is not start over money. All you need is a thousand dollars in my America, baby. Also, that doll's kind of hot. Just saying, you think you can pull something with that doll or what? Oh, yeah. Did you turn real yet? Oh, baby. It sounds like a spam email or something. For a thousand dollars, you can start over, man. Totally.

So he takes her, he's like, okay, let's go into her house and pack. And then John Ritter comes out, and the dolls are in the back of his van. We're kind of going a little fast here, but you should. Yeah, it's fine. John Ritter is like, I'm going to plant, like, I don't know, $40 worth of weed on this guy. It's not a ton of weed. It's not. It's like a little baggy.

Yeah, like you're not going to send someone away for life with this. This is a fine at best. Like a night in jail and a fine. So he's got like $60 worth of weed. He's going to stuff it in this dude's. camper and then like chucky's like oh man better kill him yeah and like he's gonna stab him and she's like you've got to be smarter than that not only that it's like drag yourself into the 90s it's a whole thing about like oh and knife that's so 80s i'm like i understand there's three movies made prior to this one

please stop you're stuck in the manson days it's all gasey and dommer now uh and i don't i kind of don't even know how this works She gets a, they get a bunch of nails. How does it shoot at him? Oh, this is what they do is they line up a bunch of nails on the airbag. Oh. And then once John Ritter, like, puts his head into the front seat, Chuckies down below and he like cuts some fucking wire that just ignites the airbag.

I see. Okay. I did not get that at all. Okay. And the nails just like fly into his face, lucky enough. Yeah. And he falls down, presumably dead. We find out later that he's not, which is good because when he gets hit with all these

nails and he's laying there and it's just like I don't think you die from that like it looks painful. It would suck. It wouldn't be cool. One of them's in his frontal lobe. I don't know. I think he's probably out for the couch. I guess you've got to figure out like how like industrial strength are these nails is the idea.

And then the Chuckie has some stupid line like that looks familiar. Oh, fuck. You're right. That's also stupid. Oh yeah, pinhead. I met him in hell. He's a hell of a guy. Hellraiser 1 and 2. Better than all the child's play movies. And I don't even really like

those movies that much. Yeah. No, I'm with you. I agree with you. 100% on that one. So while John Ritter is doing all this snooping in the van that, not pin face, but what do we call on this guy? Pencil neck? Oh, needle nose. Needle-knows. Pardon me. Just like pliers. Is harassing

Jade and Jesse again. And so they kind of get into it. It's like, is it a fairground again? They drive away like a base. And somehow these dolls pick up a fucking 1998 pretty fat John Ritter. No, but before this, it's very important

to point this out in this movie. They're getting harassed by needle nose here. And like the right of any white girl in America, she punches this cop in the face without retaliation. After, because... Is it after?

John Ritter is stashed at this point. They drive away. They have him at this point. This is the most ridiculous part of the movie because these two dolls are able to clean up the blood spilled. Yeah. Like, just clean it all up.

and also, Chucky, puts back together the fucking airbag and somehow closes this detonated airbag. Those things with airbags, it's like, when that airbag is deployed, it's fucking deployed. You need someone to take it out. You've got to go to the dealership, I think. I used to work at a dealership. Oh, what is this?

Is it 98? It's kind of similar to the 88s. Okay. What do I have to do to get you in this Nissan? I used to do voodoo curses to say, sell cars. Happy day! Yeah, I will take

a... Yeah, you know what? I will pay for the extra for the tents. All right, I'll take the Toyota. All right, you know what?

No, I think I'm going to take my business someplace else. Oh! He does that every time, every time, and they wonder why I need more coffee in the break room.

So yes, but I'm sorry, they go to this fairground, whatever, where everyone is smoking pot in the world. Yeah, everybody. Which is a cool fairground. And yes,

needle nose pulls them over this. I'm sorry. I caught you off there. No, he pulls over. He's harassing them. I thought John Ritter was using needle nose to, like, distract them while he snooped around the van was the idea. It's also not a car.

It's like a bowling alley. Yeah. It's like a parking lot. It's a parking lot. It's a happening parking lot. I think there's like a food shack there's like a truck. It's a Jimmy's chicken shack is there. That should have been the opening title music.

Jimmy's chicken shack. She punches him in the nose and he's like, wow, that sucks. And then like nothing faces like look go get us some food. We'll figure this out. I'll talk to needle nose. We'll work it all out. And while he's doing that needle nose finds the weed. He's like,

you're going to wait for a long time. And I'm like again, it's $60 to $80 worth of week. It's not a lot. But that will stop him from getting a job ever. Yeah, that's true. You'll never work again. And then so Jesse gets pissed off because the weed isn't theirs

and like the right of any white man in America. And he then also scuffles with the police officer with no fucking repercussion whatsoever. We're missing the image nobody needed of Chucky smoking a dube. I forgot he smoked some of the pot. So there's even less weed in that bag when the dude finds it. Him and the bride smoke pot

and it's like, do dolls get high? And also why's no one smelling it afterwards at all? Well, that's what I thought he was, that was what needle nose was going to pick up, was just going to sniff. He's like, oh, there's been potting here. But no, Chuckie's just like, here, throw it back, I guess. Because he's about to find John Ritter's corpse, and this is Chuckie, I guess, diverting the attention away from that. Right, right, right, right. Because they need the wheels to get

to Hackensack. Oh, yeah. So he goes into his car to, like, call in for backup or whatever, and Chuckie blows him up, which is sort of something. Right, because he runs over, yeah. He crawls. He's like, watch this trick, baby. And he, he like grabs a shirt from the van and you see this doll crawl and it's like this little doll ass like shimmying down the road and yeah he sticks it in like the gas

tank hole again not the I mean the Ritter Kill pretty cool an explosion you know what I mean like well isn't this doll little rascal man this explosion's weird it feels like the cop car explodes like five times because we get to see like

the headlights fall in some dude's car who smoke and weed that's like whoa this is good shit. Oh, right. That weird character where he's like, weird fucking dolls. Oh, wait, because Chucky flips him off. Yeah. He crawled. Again, more shimmying. Because when you smoke weed, you see stuff like that.

All the time. All the time, dude. That's exactly what happens when you're on it. It's strung out John Kusack from Say Anything. He's dressed exactly the same. And this phone booth explodes, too. Like, something maybe it's another headlight. It goes into the phone booth. And this guy burns to death. This guy gets like cut

in half and explodes, too. It's just ridiculous this is like a naked gun yeah yeah while while the kids were packing I watched a Michael Bay movie thought this would work pretty well and she comes out she's like what the hell happens we got to hit the road

baby which again I would not hit the road I would I would talk to the police let's figure this out or you're white in America it's going to work out at least slowly drive out of the parking line yes because like the explosion hasn't even subsided they're like peeling out and we get like this

this dichotomy of like, she thinks maybe he's been killing people and she thinks he's, or what, you know. Yes, they each suspect each other of the murders. And it's like, that could have been something. That could have been an interesting thing to explore, but they kind of drop it pretty quick. They definitely do. They try their best to kind of inflate that plot idea and it doesn't happen. They haul ass to Niagara Falls. Some fake as fuck green screen driving right here.

Did you notice how bad this was? Yeah, it's pretty bad. There's the shot from like the back of the van looking towards the front of the vehicle. and that windshield green screen is so awful. It's not good. Oh, my God. Some of the worst I've seen in a long time. They get to Niagara Falls.

Like, you still want to get married, right? And they are mistrustworthy of each other and like, yeah. Well, I'm 17. Might as well. Because I think they find out the, like, they hear in the news that John Ritter also was killed or is missing. And here's, this is annoying. And it's like, how would you forget this?

Like, they start it from the fucking jump with Catherine Heigel's character. She hates John Ritter's guts. Yes. She calls him by his first name. It's not like Uncle, whatever the fuck. She hates this character. When they're on the radio and it's like, Sheriff John Ritter is reported missing, she's like, what, oh, no.

And it's like, no, you're not playing that right. You hate this person. Yeah, it should be a good riddance. Because he's, I mean, he's like creepy about her. Like, who knows what's going on? He's probably been looking. He's definitely got a fucking toilet cam, dude. this dude's a sniffer, too.

You could tell. He's got a Chuck Barry toilet cam, guaranteed. Wait, Chuck Barry had a toilet cam? Chuck Barry. He took pictures. The musician. Yeah. Toilet cam.

Hey, you know that new sex offense you're looking for? Well, look at this. Was it the Geek Squad? The Geek Squad goes back in time, teaches Chuck Barry how to fucking spy on women. Wait, did he actually have, I thought it was like he took snapshots or something. There were. Well, that's still a toilet cam, I guess. There were images in one way or another

fucking put in his bathroom. I was just to imagine, like, the one of those old, like, 500 feet things being jerry rigged into a fucking toilet. No, and toilet cam is the wrong way to describe it. They were bathroom he was like taking pictures of girls changing in a bathroom. It wasn't

like, fucking, the camera's getting pissed on. How do I rig this Polaroid to go off right at the right time? Yeah, I guess, I would like to know what camera he was using if it was Like, it wasn't like the, like the powder spoke. To put the fucking cloak over you. It's Thomas Edison's Black Maria.

Stand here for eight minutes. Right, don't move. But also, nothing's going on. Don't mind the loud flash. Oh man, D.W. Griffith is going to kill me. He sees what I did to his camera. Has there ever been a movie about a camera that actually steals your soul? Because it seems like that would be a good block.

I mean, it was a goosebumps episode. It was definitely. a camera movie. There's a J-horror movie, a thing called Shutter. Yes. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And they might have even made that for America. They did with Joshua Jackson. And while not a great movie, great final imagery.

Last, like, shot, I found to be very creepy. So they go to this chapel. They're both like, you still want to get married? They're like, yeah, and they do, and they go to this chapel. And it's just your standard, like, Vegas, whatever kind of chapel. Yeah. But in Niagara

Falls. Yes. But this guy's like, we're brought here at holy matrim and he's got a bible i'm like no no no no no that's how that should work in and out but we're just not we're not saying the it's like by the state of by the state of nevada by the state of fucking blah blah blah but maybe you know it's state only you could probably request something like that oh i guess they're both catholic maybe well they request the religious ceremony of some kind who knows i'm sure they're all ministers of something yeah that's true all right i got an elvis presley for you i got a kirk cobain for you i got a mime if you If you want to go that way.

We also have Michael Myers for the horror fans. All the gore hounds that want to win. Wait, so this guy's going to dress up as Michael Myers to get them married. I would love to see that this old schlubby, like, roadside minister is putting on this Michael Myers mask. Oh, look, it's the shape. I got married by the shape. Weirdly, we have Bruce McGillan, the insider. Hold on, kids.

I got to get in shape to perform the ceremony. Oh, you're going to get married. you're going to get married here and there you get lefts and rights I don't give a hell what happens in the state of Mississippi you're getting married here in Buffalo that's by Bruce McGill in the inside

wipe that smile off your face this is a marriage that scene rules I gotta rewatch that oh wait you kids want to get married by Christopher Lambert to officiate this I'm going to work on the voice a little bit

well let me see your punch card here Oh, what, you've only seen three Christmas. No, you need eight. Oh, sorry. I could do the shape for you. You should have seen gunmen to get married by me. Sorry you came all this way for nothing, but rules are rules. It's like the top of a mountain.

It's like a quest. You should have seen my Beowulf movie, or maybe even night moves, which is K-N-I-G-H-T. Because it's a chess movie. Or maybe Gideon, where I play an angel in a nursing home. Oh, wow, I forgot about that. Yeah, dude, it's not good. You only have three punches. I'm sorry, you can only get Clancy Brown.

Oh, shit. You know, you get Clancy Brown? Omine, Dolliver. And he just arises from mud. And Clancy Brown is there. I'm into that. Yeah, totally. None of that happens.

They just get married. No. And while they're getting married, the dolls are sitting out in the van, and the radio is on. is a fucking totally garbage joke where it's like talk radio is on and it's like violence in movies today

and Chuckie's like, eh, change the channel to thank God Monster Magnet. No, it's not Monster Magnet. This is a white zombie. This is a white zombie. Oh, it's white zombie? Monster Magnet is on this fucking soundtrack somewhere. That's the driving montage.

Oh, wow. And it's not the main song. No, no, no. The main song which I refer to as been dropped in your pocket for the last hundred days. I think it's Thunder Kiss 69. Yeah, Space Lord Mother Mother was great.

White Zombie song is the is the Thunder Kiss 65, yes. So yeah, that turns on instead. And like these dolls are just talking about like life and love for a minute. And I'm like, you know what? I know this movie is like 85 minutes or something like that.

But like I also don't need this. I would be fine with an 83 minute movie. Maybe somebody checks out the car and they kill him or something. Let's get some kills. It's the fourth fucking movie. This is where Ritter comes back alive and he's like screaming and hooting and hollering in here. And this is Chuckie stabs him to death.

And it's like, eh, the old ways still got it. I feel like this could have been more fleshed out. There could have been more that happened there just to kill him again. Like, who cares? And now they're in their room. They're watching a news report about themselves. They're in like a honeymoon suite, which I mean about one half of your $500

which you're going to start over with is gone at this point. Yeah, you've rented one of these like fuck rooms. And what we don't need enters the movie, which is this horny thief couple. They're just there for body counts. They are. They come in and they're like hey, hey the door was

unlocked. I'd be like, get the fuck out of my room. We're not having any conversation. Get the fuck out of my room. Have group sex or don't? Exactly. Yeah, because they're trying to both like the woman comes and just like, oh, you guys are cool. blah blah blah she steals their wallet whatever oh right right right and chucky sees this and i guess he's like that's immoral i'll get them it's just like my old buddy jason vorhees hates marijuana use

and premarital sex i despise pickpockets i mean it must have been hard to get into like an orgy at that because you know the internet has revolutionized everything you can find your orgy oh you had to like mail in something to get into an orgy invite yeah you got to be on a news And now there's like orgy apps, I think. Yeah, right? You're just like, oh, there's a orgy happening 10 blocks from here. Hi, I'm here for the gang bang.

I linked in via my Facebook profile. My orgy will be here in three minutes. Well, I'm thinking, it's more like the ways app. There's like orange areas and red areas. You can have known which wants to avoid? Like, all right. Avoid this orgy. One of the guys is a cop.

Oh, there's a shit play in Brooklyn. But there's a BDSM up in the Bronx. It's got like the little poop emoji. You're like, okay, I don't. I'm going to avoid that orgy because I'm not in the poop play today. Sure. Today, specifically. You know, I'm just not feeling right now. I just, I don't want to get my clothes dirty.

I just ate. The poop orgy with Bill Cosby and hell. So they steal their wallet. They like trying to have an orgy, but I think it's more of a diversionary time. Get out. We're going to go to bed. They go to bed. And they're both distrusting of each other.

They both call this friend who's been out of the movie for about an hour. Oh, David. David. They're like, hey, David. David, I think this, she's killing people. And he's like, hey, David, I think he's killing people how that works. Blah, blah, blah. And David's like, I'm going to go talk to you guys.

So he drives there. I guess he's driving to Niagara Falls now. And Chuckie and Tiffany go, this is a very important scene, go into the other couple's room. Yep. They're about, they're starting to have sex. These people are fucking. It's a little bit of a CineMax after dark here. And Tiffany takes a champagne bottle, throws it, again, with all of her doll strength,

up to the mirrored ceiling. and all of the shards come down and murder them? All these computer shards fall. You're cut. Yes. That's it. Ouch. Oh, that sucked. Yeah.

This is like a weird fatality, though. I mean, these things are falling down with some force. Somehow, this mirror is able to sever this woman's finger off of her body. Yes. And Chucky's able to pick up her, like, engagement ring and propose to the bride of Chucky with it. Now, I'm going to tell you this right now. These glass shards, these ones will impale you. You got to call $200 more, Mr. Hollywood sweets.

You want the Sord of Damocles suite. Oh, yeah, you'll probably die fucking under this. But like these shards of a glass fall like fucking stalactites. Yes. It's really weird. They impale. And so they get married here. They get engaged.

And then here comes the making out and the fucking, which I guess is supposed to be funny. The doll fucking is supposed to be laughing. you're fucking, they're making it out and the tongues are going. Could you imagine? Yeah, can you imagine? Amazing. Amazing. There's a lot more pronounced, like,

the teeth are more real in this one. I'm not sure if that's true. Here's the thing. If this movie came out in 2019 and you saw some screenshots for this with the fucking doll teeth, I would hope that the fans of this franchise made the stink

that all these people did about Sonic and his little teeth. Because these doll teeth are disgusting. They are. I don't know. need them. I don't need to see it. I don't need to see your fucking doll tongue. And they have this improvised doll sex that we're about to talk about. I hate it. I hate this

fucking movie so much. Is Sonic of age? Is he like over 18? That's a great question. Can you do like orgy? I guarantee you there's some Sonic fucks joke. Oh, there's a sonic furry orgy out on Staten Island. I guarantee you like you go to Deviant Art or something. There's probably a lot of Sonic porn.

Of course there is. That's all that franchise is. Really? He is the king of Deviant Art poured. Yeah. The crowd rests on Sonic's head. I was at a bar last night that was just playing Sonic like being just, it was like video of someone playing it.

Oh, really? It was cool as fuck. Nice. I love those Sonic games, dude. And I was thinking like, yeah, does this guy fuck? Tale to tail. But Chuckie, she's like, oh, I'm feeling really kind of crazy. And he's like, yeah, you know I'm anatomically correct.

Which means I exactly. And I'm circumcised. Yeah, a pervert put me together, just like they did data on Star Trek. That guy was a pervert. Yeah, Dr. Nooney and suing, that guy was a fucking sex criminal. A sex criminal of stars, dude. That doctor, for sure, had sex with data before he drove it up to Starfleet. Drove it up to memory banks?

Yeah, dude. Or before he's even got a memory when he's just a hard... Excuse me, Dr. Singh. I'm looking at the history fire. here on my soon-to-be lieutenant commander data. And it seems that he has a lot of history built in, but you've wiped the last three hours for some reason? Could you speed this up? I'm double parked.

I'm just kind of curious why you would have to wipe the last three hours of his memory bank. I'm just trying to kick the tires here. It looks like that dick's been used, mister. You're trying to sell me some used goods? Also, why does he have a dick? What am I going to use it for? I just need his fucking bread. Are you fucking let me?

Captain Picard, this droid has a bad motivator. Hey, what are you trying to pull on us? Oh, so don't say droid. We'll get sued. What about that one? Does that one also have an anatomically correct scrotum? Why does a computer need a scrotum? Whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait, he has an asshole? Why?

I mean, it is the greatest question of this movie. For more of that, check out the Nexus on our Patreon. We have a Star Trek podcast that gets a little blue. It's a lot blue. Patreon.com slash we hate movies. Why would a doll of a dick? It's a great question. It's just, it's not funny.

But I think it is part of the voodoo element. Like, because how could any of this stuff work? I mean, and also similarly, why does a doll of a vagina? Great question. By the way, the internet has tons of those, right? Yes. There's sex dolls for sale. Well, that's true.

Why not just put his body? How about for this new fucking sequel? Yes. Put him in a. sex doll. Oh, a real doll? That would be terrified. Wouldn't that be creepy as fuck?

It would be so much scarier. Yeah. Because look that dead face just looking at you. One of those like pillows that have anime on it? My pillow? Like that guy, the Trump guy? My pillow.

I fuck my pillow. I take my mustache and I fuck my pillow with it. Maga. I'm going to give you the Medal of Freedom for a pillow advancement. Do we give out

pillow awards? Look, I'm sexually open, you know. I'll eat my pillow's asshole, too. Why does a pillow have an asshole? Hold on. Captain Picard, the asshole pillows are here. They're changing out every bed in Starfleet with asshole pillows. Kat, get a good night's sleep.

My pillow keeps farting in my ear. Every my pillow comes with an asshole. That's the promise of my pillow. It's made by an asshole and it comes with an asshole. Oh, great. A pillow that farts. Baby the rent So they're fucking

It's like a dumb little scene Oh there's a fucking horrendous joke right here though In a sea of horrendous jokes Where she goes Chuckie Do you have a rubber And he goes baby I'm all rubber

This movie's so dumb Well actually they should have used a rubber Because of what happens at the end of this film Staff infection Well no The fucking ending I almost ripped my hair out watching this fucking movie. Oh, yeah, I screamed

at the television. I was dying. We're going to get there. So they leave they meet up with their friend who's like, they're like, oh, you trust this both. He's like, look, you both think you did it. That means neither of you actually did it. Something else was going on. John Ritter must be behind all of this, you know, because

he hates you guys, he's trying to frame you, blah, blah, blah. And they're in the car driving as all this exposition's happening. And then like, what you would call it, the dude, David looks in the trunk. Uh-oh, John Ritter there he pulls out his gun and he's like you guys are the killers why does this guy have a gun by the way

he takes out John Ritter's gun yeah oh oh oh when you said he takes out his gun oh I'm sorry he takes out his I was like when did David I mean it's America so anything is possible the funny thing is like David is like some smell oh god something smells bad and like did they did Catherine Hegel and nothing face just like think they were all farting the whole time there's a rotting corpse who's been farting maybe they both had like really bad like congested sinuses or something. Number one, who's killing all these people?

Number two, who keeps up farting in this fucking van? Well, I guess that's how you make $500 enough to start over. You just never bathe. And you're like shitting your pants all the time. You don't buy toilet paper, you know, buy any toiletries whatsoever. We can't afford toilet paper. Honey, we're on the lamb. But why would you be shitting in your pants, though?

Oh, you wanted the honeymoon suite with the bathroom. That's $100 more, my friend. I could give you a Cosby diaper. It's a sweater. You wrap around your bottom. So he's like, he hails down some cops as he does. So Chucky then grabs the gun or there's another gun involved. Who cares?

There's way too many guns, exactly. And he's like, look, I'm alive. I'm a doll. And I've been doing all the killing. This kid gets impaled by a truck. He gets hit by this truck. He's not impaled. He's fucking evaporating.

Exactly. It's like the body is gone. It's just like blood mist. And it's just, it felt very final destination-y, which I know. Totally. And it's also a weird thing.

This is the second time in this movie that like a person is not being directly killed by a fucking dog. Yes. And Chuckie like shrugs, like, okay, they get away from the cops. They're like,

we have to get to Hackett's Sack. I'm going to get my ambulance. And I'm also going to, and I wouldn't, I wouldn't let the kids in on this part either. I would be like, and then we're going to let you go. Just bring us to Hackett's all going to work out.

I was like, no, then you're going to be, your bodies are going to be our bodies. And I'm like, well, then I'm definitely going to do my best to get away from you, you murderous doll. Exactly. Like, save that twist in the plot. Exactly. You know, like you and Jennifer Tilly know that. Yes. That's all.

It's everything. That's on a need to know basis. Now this is a suicide mission because I'm not letting you take my body. I will die happily. I will incinerate myself before I let you get in my body, you weird fucking doll. Take my body. It's fucking trash. But what if it's like a John Moll?

Calkovich situation where they go inside your brain room, but you're still sort of cognizant. Oh, Lord. Which is a nightmare. You know what I mean? I guess I'd just be watching people die. Yeah. Murders happen. Yeah.

It'd be kind of cool. It's like, who cool is like a horror movie? Yeah, exactly. Like, oh, you know, I can't change a channel, but at least something's good on. Chucky goes into his own body again, and it's just like, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. Chuckie, Chuckie, Chuckie, Chuckie, Chuckie, Chuckie, Chuckie, Chuckie, Chuckie, Chuckie, Chuckie. we should say that while all this is going on for no reason whatsoever we cut back to the hotel and playing the the maid is kathy na jimmy out of nowhere who doesn't even get killed in this movie

no she just finds these two dead swingers and screams for a second again i would be fine with a 75 minute bride or you're cutting kathy n jimmy's head off and something happens that's sort of like the last final piece of the mirror falls and like hits her right in the head and kills her or something. And then we get into something else that happens in this movie that is also condemnable. They need new wheels to be inconspicuous or whatever. So they take over this retired couple's RV. And they get killed off screen. Oh, the oldest couple is shown in like a closet in this RV, dad.

And we, killing off screen, no. Not in a slasher movie. No. Not in the fourth version of a slasher movie. of you, by the way. Speaking of which somewhere around here is another horrendous, uh, like, self-reflexive line where Chuck, he's like talking about the scam or so. I don't remember what the setup is, but then he goes, and it just takes three or four sequels to do it justice. Oh, right. Right. He said it's a long story. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, right. Yeah. And it's like,

yeah, because this is the fucking good one. This is where you found the footing in this. This one of the worst horror franchises of all time. Brad Durf says this is his favorite. I saw that in the Tribune Trivia And you know what? I want to see the video evidence That's coming out of his fucking mouth. If anything, he's being polite. He's promoting a movie.

He's promoting a movie. He just got the Lord of the Rings contract. He probably was just in a good movie. You're totally right, Kevin. Yeah, so we're driving down the road. The two dolls have like a domestic dispute in the van. Chuckie's favorite food is Swedish meatballs. Ew, by the way.

You don't like Swedish meatballs? No, I do, but I don't like the idea of this. doll eating. Eating a meatball? Yeah, I just... I don't like them eating anything. Meatballs, ass, whatever. I do both.

Oh, I'm a real doll now. I get to shit everywhere. Yeah, that's a great question. Where does the waste go? Since now he's fucking coming semen. Yeah. Where's he... Is he shitting?

He's pissing. He's doing the whole nine yards. Pull over. I got to go to the bedroom. I was going to say... I got some Legos popping out of my ass. It's just bouncy balls. Oh, you. Oh, God, I got to catch him. Wait, come back.

Oh, wait. Damn it. Oh, wait. Oh, I'm scared. I shit my pan. This would be great. If we're actually acting like these things can do this shit, like have him kill someone with one of his shoe with a bouncy ball and say, eat shit. Yes.

Just shove it down some guy's throat, this big bouncy ball that he just shit at. Listen, I don't even need you to be shit now bouncy balls, but in just like, Dialogue in films in general We're not saying eat shit quite enough It is a fantastic insult to throw towards someone If you learn anything with this show Just start saying eat shit Just start

So yeah like there's this thing Earlier in the movie she says like to When Tiffany's a real person She's like oh you know You got a good girlfriend there Just remember a man always washes the dishes After the woman cooks or something My mother always said

so then like he's using it back on her and he's like hey chuck who's gonna make who's gonna do those dishes and chucky's an ass was like hey babe those dishes ain't gonna do themselves right and then she gets in a murderous rage they're fighting Catherine Hegel gets loose and she shoves Tiffany in an oven yeah and you know Chuckie there's a bunch of hilariously bites her ear and I was like please you need to jump that right off it doesn't happen but the doll teeth though ew yeah Dull teeth. Should have been back to the drawing board on these teeth. I'm just saying. Whatever. The van flips and all sorts of stuff. It kind of is... Spectacular van crash here.

RV crash. Tiffany is like mostly dead at this point. Chuckie gets away. He has a gun. This is kind of like hilarious. I get talking about Hitchcock. There's like this is what if it goes like a hostage movie? Like Chuckie takes her hot.

There's two guns. Chuckie takes her hostage with one gun. And then nothing face grabs Tiffany out of the oven. and puts a gun up to her and there's like a hostage exchange in this graveyard? You get that gun away from my dog! Exactly.

Is Paul Giamati on the ground too? The negotiation. Both came to it at the same time. But yes, they're in the graveyard. The Hacketacket's that graveyard. There's a weird thing where it's like, there's a van there and it's like New Jersey Medical Examiner.

Because by the way, do we mention this that like they've ordered Brad Durriff's body to be exhumed because of question mark. Yeah. Because, no, this is... There was a fingerprint found somewhere. They found Brad Durif fingerprints on something

Chuckie did. And I'm like, does the fucking doll have his prints? First of all, melt off your prints if you're a murderous doll. Second of all, if you're a fucking criminal, dude, you don't need fingertips. Yeah, dude. Chop that shit off. Go seven style with it. Yeah. Just get

like wax on your fingers. I mean, it just doesn't make any fucking. It's so stupid. So that's why the New Jersey medical examiners are exhuming this body. And it's like the middle of the night and it's one guy just out there digging up this fucking grave. I guess the idea was, okay, it probably makes, it's going to be way too difficult for these dolls to dig up this grave. Like, you know what? We need somebody there, which is fine.

But like, I need it to be, all right, Sam, I'm going to pick up a pack of smokes. Need anything? there has to be more than one person digging up this body. Well, like a horror movie would have, like you give the grave diggers some business, and then he gets a cool death. You just get shot, right? Yep.

He just gets shot in the back of the head by Chuckie, yeah. At first I thought it was Chuckie had the gun on Catherine Hagel and making her dig up the grave. That's what I thought. That would have been something. That would have maybe been something. Make Catherine Heigle dig her own grave? That would be cool.

I'm great. Someone should do that right now. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. Half an episode of Night Diggins. What's night diggers? It was a grave diggers that do it at night. By the way, great TV show.

We should make this night diggers. Why isn't the reality show about grave diggers? Oh, I would love it. I would watch that documentary. That's Shudder. Come on, Shudder. You want reality programming? It's probably a thing where you'd have to keep like the names of the deceased.

Oh, yeah. You blow that out. Maybe we're the grave diggers. What else are we doing? That's true. Put us to work. FYI has a trade. You could use one of those

But I really want That's like a skill that I could have Yeah, right into the mailbag If you want to hire us I want it to be like real housewives Except for its diggers And they're like, yeah, well Joe took my grave And I was supposed to dig

And it's just full of all these stupid shitty puns Like over my dead body Into slap fights Yeah, exactly I'm so tired I need a dirt nap Yeah, exactly Exactly I feel like I got worms crawling over

my brains when I'm talking to you I mean the movie kind of falls apart here there's like a hostage exchange there's like no ending it fucking sucks okay so his body is exhumed you see his skeleton hilarious skeleton with his amulet and also it's full of rats yeah how are rats getting into a cough at worms maggots I understand but full-fledged rat like you have grown rats

like you know rats need to breathe air right right movie makers you know that right I guess so I mean someone would probably correct us on Twitter be like Hey, you fuck-eds, rats actually eat dirt. I just, to your point, unless you put baby rats in with this, maybe, because fuck you, you serial killer, you put like a family of rats in with them.

All right, we also, we're burying this guy, and we have to bury the rat king. It's thrown together. Oh, no, they switch the tags. But so, yeah. Maybe it's a jersey thing, dude. That's what they give them the Asbury Park. Look, we fill a coffin with rats.

Kick out Chris Christy's father. We put in raid. Oh, man. wasn't that ice man he killed people with rats oh yeah yes he did he's like yeah yeah that's disgusting

it is um so there's a hostage exchange there's a but the amulet is in play right uh blah blah blah tiffany is like oh chucky we're about to do the ritual and he's like yeah baby we're gonna and she's all like burned up now

and she's like yeah he's like yeah baby we're gonna do it and like i think they uh both jesse and j do something kind of sweet and she's like oh they they deserve to live so she's like we deserve to die so she stabs him in the back and he's like er yeah it's not the same thing as the battle

cry scream though which is unfortunate there's more doll fighting right because Chuckie you think he's dead but he's not obviously a doll shovel fight yeah and she's burnt by now she's like a she's all burnt little crispy critter it's disgusting how does she kill him

I mean she steps in the back but is that the of him or who? Chuckie. Oh, no. Well, she so also at some point Chuckie has thrown a knife into Jesse's bag. Oh, right. Which doesn't kill him, which is weird. Also, like, you're damaging the merchandise. Right. Yeah. Well, at this point, I think

he's given up on the mission. Pulling a burn. But then it's like she knocks Chuckie into the grave and they pull the ladder up. Oh, right. So he's just stuck down there like, hey, hey, get me out of here. Hey, hey. You know, kind of a thing. And then she also dies and she's like bleeding

there's like doll blood happening yes doll blood which we're going to get more of she falls over and then this cop comes out of nowhere there's like detective character and a rainbow he's been like kind of like in news reports here and there like this set him up a little bit so fucking stupid because he's like he's like huh you're never going to believe this

this fucking demon doll okay you kids can just go home you go home to a different state I know you have a fucking knife wound I'm not going to attend to or call paramedics you just go home, go home. Got no questions. No questions whatsoever.

The only way this works is if he's like, I knew Chuckie was going to come back. Ever since that doll went missing from the evidence lock or I was waiting for the, like he's checking every toy store, eBay to this doll. He's been wait, like he's the Chuckie detective. Exactly. I just need like two or three scenes of him called on the trail.

They can be like two minutes long a piece or something. That's what would happen in a movie. Molder. report of a murderous doll. Oh, fuck it. I'm not going to do it. That's bullshit. I'm sorry. That's a straight bullshit. It's in New Jersey, Scully. Let's not go.

You know, Scully, I think the Nick game is on tonight. Local PD can handle. Oh, and also, Catherine Hegel, right in front of this cop has this like shotgun or some shit and she blows Chuck E. Way. That's how that goes. Okay. And then he's dead. The cop, though, does have this hilarious line.

There's not a line, really, but it's a good delivery. of a reaction when he first comes up to the grave and he looks down and he sees the doll he just goes, whoa. Like what the fuck? It's kind of a nice whatever. But yeah, then he just lets them, he's like oh, okay, I've put it together now. You were on the lamb, but it's because of these

cursed dolls, got it. If he was the Chuckie detective, wouldn't he like see the dog? I'd be like, this is my thesis. Oh, hey, oh, it was murderous dolls. Why don't you leave? And on your way out, why do you burn my pension? Because I'm not going to get that. I am going to be discharged disgracefully from the force.

Absolutely. 40 years down the drain. I just bought myself an unmarked grave. So they leave. It's like goodbye these characters that may have been the protagonist, may not have been. Adios, man. And he's looking at Tiffany's like, weird doll. He touches it.

He keeps poking it. I thought he was going to fuck this doll. Yeah, I was kind of like, I thought he was going to grope the boom. It was very, it was getting so close to. Dude, if you, like, if the last shot of this movie was this detective, it's like a low angle shot looking over this detective, it's a fucking fish eye lens, and this dude just unzipses his fly credits.

Somehow a more disgusting ending. It's disgusting. Yeah, so Chuckie's dead now. Did we say that? Chuckie's dead. Catherine Heigel murders. Right, okay. Does she get a thing, like a C in hell?

I don't think so. No, it's just kind of, get me out of this movie. He did say to Jade when they were doing the, the prisoner exchange. real soon. Oh, yeah, yeah. Which I don't know what that means. I think it's like soon I'll be

in your boyfriend's body and my wife will be in yours. I should have done a quick, you know, whole reference, you know, you are doll parts. Yeah, oh, that's right. Yeah. But we cut to Tiffany. This detective's looking at her.

All this blood comes out from under her dress and you're like, the fuck. Or wherever. And this thing crawls out It's the, it's alive baby. Yeah. We have a doll baby begot by dolls.

And also what is the doll reproduction cycle? Fucking 19 minutes? Exactly. I think there's a bunch of little Christmas elves inside of her building this thing. So I guess Chuckie should have used a condom or she should have been on some sort of doll birth control.

Right. Yeah. Yeah. Or she could have done it out in the morning after pill possibly depending. A doll IUD, dude. Yeah, well, it was a 98. It was a 98 before the,

the dark times when all fucking contraception was banned. So she had a lot of options back then. Yeah, all she had to do is go to a planned dollhood. I think they offered those in the American girls stores, actually. Dolls and also any... Yeah, they're $20. We have to get rid of these things. Not to be an ass... You know, there's doll abortions.

You can get doll cancer screenings there. You can do this also... They do a lot of care in general, not just related to doll abortions. free doll condoms yes exactly and doll education to stop this shit from happening right because doll abstinence just does not work it doesn't work unrealistic you know these dolls are fucking you know these dolls are going to the days of ken are over look here's the thing like you close that door you turn the lights off as soon as you leave those dolls come to life and they're fucking exactly not every doll has a bump the more you know I mean this fucking baby and it just ends and it's like

It, like, bites this detective's face. Oh, right. You see, like, a quick shot of it jumping to his face. It's really fucking bad. They just, like, threw the puppet at this guy or something. Yeah. It's like a nanosecond shot because the doll just falls right off his face. Yeah, exactly.

Gravity comes into play. Exactly. And that's just, it's the credits. And I'm sitting there like, what did I just do? Why did I do this to myself? This was something I rightfully avoided for, 20 years. I saw this at some point, I think.

Really? You did. Like just, or maybe half of it or something. People do like this movie. People love this franchise. It's beloved. I'm just going to say I'm suspicious. Yeah. Of why people would be entertained by this. People love it, man. By the way, I mean, Chuckie is so popular even makes an appearance

in Ready Player 1. That's right. We did an episode on. It's on Patreon.com such we had movies. There is but I mean like that's why this Regis is coming back like people like this movie like it's not doing the creepy doll thing and it never does the creepy doll thing

enough for me and I am a scared of dolls what is the creepy doll thing like just it's sitting in a corner yeah like you don't mean it's a doll you use that uncanny valley aspect of it it's like oh it looks human enough

but it's like the Annabelle shit you know what I'm like there's a good is Seth Gordon who did dolls the 1980s movie oh I've never seen that movie actually. That one is good. I kind of like that one. That first conjuring with Anne. I've never seen

any of the Annabelle movies because I'm not watching her go through whatever she's up to. I watched, dude, I watched on a plane basically like Annabelle begins. Oh, that's the second one or the first one, I don't know. It was the sequel to Annabelle, but it's a prequel. It's like

Orin'el creation or something like that. It's a perfect plane situation. It's like the dolls had a fucking nunnery or some shit. Well, isn't, Wasn't it the original Dead Silence? Wasn't that the first of before Annabelle? It was just a doll.

But I think Annabelle is introduced in Dead Silence. Is she? No, she was introduced in The Conjuring, wasn't she? Yeah, I'm almost positive. Yeah, I think it's, isn't it, is it, it's not connected. That's James Wan, too. Dead Silence is also. Because Annabelle is based on a real.

Yeah, I know. Or really, that's by the con artist. Yeah, yeah, the Warrens or whatever. Who are now in this new Annabelle movie that's coming out. Of course. Annabelle comes home. And both of them are the, it. I have a quick creepy doll

story. Ooh, I like this. I was, I guess, like, almost a few years ago, I was looking at really trashy, old pornography. Condos in upstate New York. And one of them we toured was the real

estate agent was like, oh, you know, it's actually abandoned. Like, the owners just like skipped out on their mortgage. They're kind of like who knows where they are. Wow. now the bank is selling it. It's like a foreclosure. And we go into tour it and it's like,

it's like basement level kind of apartment type of thing. And it's like barely get any light in there. Yeah. And it's just trash. They trashed it on their way out and we're going through every room. And the corner of one room was like kind of like a chucky size doll. What? Facing the corner of the room.

Yep. Bent down. And I'm just thinking to myself, the real estate agent at the bank, no one could have gotten this fucking creepy doll out there. It's like they posed it because they knew people were come and see it and it's like look at this fucking haunted house that is the first thing they tell you in real estate school is remove any at all dolls before showing a property any haunted

material exactly it was terrified that is i oh my god so you got that house then huh bought it that day no no the next cheapest one all right that's just ridiculous what's a little bit more expected cabin i think what you may be thinking of is uh apparently in dead silence one of the puppets that the lady owns is the jigsaw puppet. Oh, okay. So maybe that's... Maybe that's the move there.

Wasn't there like a huge gap of years between the conjuring and Dead Silence? I think it was like four or five years. Yeah. Yeah, Conjuring was until 2013 and Dead Silence was 2007. So that's the end of this fucking abhorrent

fucking trash. Would anybody recommend it? No, I wouldn't. I think Childs Play 3's got some fun stuff there and we're still most I mean I think that because it's a slasher movie and these should be slasher movies

I hate horror comedies I hate like we're in and I mean maybe if you watch a million slasher movies all the time you want some of them to be different like you know what I want a slasher movie I want you know what I mean like sexy teens I want some knives

I want some blood I want some guts I want the whole fucking bit right or you know what I don't know I think I've never seen Childs Play 2 I think this is the worst of the child's play movies that I've seen which is only the first

which is only one three and four yeah I would say this is the worst of the one I watched all the first three this one and seat of Chuckie and seat of Chuckie at least like doubles down

on like the camp value of it and like John Waters is in it that's the baby that's the baby is now like kind of like it's like forced to be a what's a

ventriloquist dog or like some creep. Oh, that's kind of something. Yeah, that is something. And like you start the movie with the baby grown up into a teenage doll. How would a doll grow up?

God damn it. So now is that fudging with the timeline, too? Oh yeah. I mean, it's a big jump. Like, because it was between, what,

1998 to 2004. Fucking Childs Play 2049. So my question is, would Chuckie and Tiffany age? Like, if they weren't killed with their, like, Harris? I guess it was.

It's just like Arnold. in that Terminator Genesis he's just an old man he's like yeah my doll body is aging Yeah eventually Oh no I got the computer cancers No eventually Chuckie just looks like

Billy Crystal Okay Yeah but don't see this This movie is off This is definitely the worst of the bunch I would say Seed of Chuckie is much better Wow

At least it starts with a cum crawl It starts with a cum, excuse me You know like When the like the Halloween special for Simpsons and like the goo takes over the whole screen, but it's come. I just did, when he first said that

I just did that, that meme of that dude blinking like what? You definitely did. All right. Interesting. I'll have to check that out. I would not recommend this. I hate this. I do like some horror comedy. I think the Evil Dead series does it well. It's a creep show. Gramlins.

All right. Maybe I was to Maybe this movie put such a bad taste in my house. Well, here's the thing that, Ziva, I agree with you in the sense that, like, I think horror comedy is really hard to do to, like, pull off properly. I mean, shot of the dead, obviously. Yeah, I mean, but compared to how many of them actually exist. Yes. You know.

And that are insufferable. It's a self-referential stuff. I'm sorry, I cut you off. No, no, that's it. I would not recommend this. Neither would I. As you could tell, I hate this. It was really obnoxious.

Another horror comedy Return of the Living Dead, much better than this. I just, I don't like this shit. I like the first child's play movie. It's the only one that they ever attempted

to make like kind of scary. I don't remember much about the second one. Maybe they also do there. Yeah. That third one, you know, that fucking fat kid, that fat kid falls on the grenade.

How am I not laughing? I'm enjoying it. He's more of a mill house, isn't he? He's like a little wiry. Stop copying me. Yeah, I don't, I don't like.

this. And like I said, I'm not going to watch those other sequels unless I absolutely have to for this program. Get ready. That is Bride of Chucky from 1998 directed by Warriors of Virtues Ronnie U. Also potential

to stay tuned. That's fucking, remember that movie? It's like, it's a little kid and like a bunch of kangaroo monsters. Oh yeah, the magical kangaroos. Yeah. That is the A number one most called in really? I think of her. A request month movie. Warriors of Virtue, really? Yeah. Hundreds of people of

But if you want more We Hate Movies, check out patreon.com slash we hate movies. Quick mention this month we have an episode on Kingsman, His Secret Service. No, The Secret Service. Also check out the Nexus and animation, damnation, all sorts of sideshows and

commentaries we have available, including again, coming right around the end of June just in time for that 4th of July weekend. Independence Daymentary. Yeah, man. Coming out. Get ready for that. Get all, get ready for all two and a half hours of that fucking shit. That movie. It's still a fun

watch. It's half between a we love movies and we hate it. Yeah, for sure. And it's a commentary so we can do whatever. We manned movies. I would recommend it and I would recommend syncing it with our commentary that's coming out. So there you go. So Steve Saneck, the summer blockbuster extravaganza continues

into next week as it does throughout the rest of the summer. So what are we talking about next time on the program? Get your bullet time pants on. We're going to wanted. Oh, God. There's so much bullet time. That ties into our Kingsman episode, both directed by Matthew Vaughn.

This is James McAvoy. Yeah, and Angelina. And Morgan Freeman. Right. This is the movie where we're like firing a gun and like throwing the bullets at people. If I remember correctly. Yes. When I saw part of this movie in the theater and totally fell asleep.

So until next week with What Wanted. I'm Andrew Jupin. Stephen Sadek. Chris Cabin. Eric Siska. Take it easy. That was a hate gum podcast.