We Hate Movies - S9 Ep435: Episode 435 - Knowing (Live in Boston)

Episode Date: August 6, 2019

On the first Summer Break episode of the year, the guys are live from Boston, Massachusetts, chatting about the bat-shit crazy Alex Proyas film, Knowing! This was the first night of the East Cage Tour and the show featured several talking points including: just how much does Nicolas Cage look like a scarecrow in this movie? Are these things angels, aliens or Scandinavian perverts? And what kind of person brags about a hot dog recipe? PLUS: Performed live, for one night only, We Hate Movies' latest parody single, "Crack Shack." Knowing stars Nicolas Cage, Chandler Canterbury, and Rose Byrne; directed by Alex Proyas. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

And now, everybody, enjoy knowing live from Boston, Massachusetts. Massachusetts, what is happening? Holy shit. Are there any aliens in the audience? Or angels. Which is it, though, man? Is it angels or aliens? That's the quandary. Wasn't that the name of the band that the dude from Blink 182 started?

Yeah. Angels or aliens? I think you're right. Yeah. Either or. Either or. This is my name. band Either Or. Speaking of either or, my name is Andrew Jupin.

I'm Chris Cabin. Eric Siska. Stephen Sadek. And we are Wee Hey Movies from New York City. How the hell are you this evening? Are you taking both beers out of the bucket, man?

I am... Well, just go fuck myself then. Oh, I see. Because the... Oh. You're trying to help. Okay. I am thrilled about a bucket.

I just love a bucket. You could pay us in a bucket of beer. So this is the first night of our East Cage tour. Thanks so much for coming out. Thanks, everybody. Yeah. So, quick question, before we get started, how many of you guys are aware of the program

we run on the Internet every week? Yeah. A lot of Internet fans. A lot of Internet fans. A lot of Internet. fans. I like that. A lot of fans of the internet in general. A lot of W.W. Guys. You know, I just love logging on.

Yeah, you got to log off. Logging on, surfing. Oh, yes. Honestly, we could all afford to log off sometimes. Am I right? You know, like hashtag disconnect. Doing a PSA, that's good. That's a good way to rev everybody up. Oh, yeah, totally. These kids

in their damn phones, am I right? I'm your dad. Hi, I'm your dad. Yikes. Oh, well, for those you don't, we are a comedy show based out of New York City where we use a movie, good, bad, shitty, miscellaneous. It's a jumping off point for a conversation

like you're going to see tonight. So that is basically the gist. Anybody seeing us live for the first time? Awesome. Oh, man. I apologize in advance. Yes, absolutely. Sorry.

It's not advance anymore. They're here. Oh, sorry. It sucks. Yeah, this is it, dude. There's no more steps. Oh, wait, this isn't the pre-audience? I thought this was the first audience.

I thought they were a mirage. You're just high as a kite. I am. I think I'm an alien. So, speaking of aliens, by the way, tonight's film in question is knowing. From two, no, no, no, no. The fuck are you thinking?

No. Don't do it. From 2009, directed by Alex Proyas, right? The Crow. What else? Dark City. Dark City. What was that

Gods of Egypt movie? Yeah. That was literally what it was called. Yeah, that's what it was. Yeah. That was a real stink fest. It was indeed. You got a giant Jamie

Lannister in that movie, though. That ain't bad. Oh, my God, a giant Jamie. Oh, he's going to crush me with his big, besandled feet. That's a great Dane.

He's a Dane. Well, I got, I got it. You're just got to give it a second to catch fire. Now I'm kind of into the idea of rebooting Marmaduke with Jamie Lannister. Yes. Uh-huh. As the real life Marmaduke?

No, CGI. Just him. Was that that Owen Wilson movie? Oh, wow, I'm a big dog. He did the voice of the dog? Hey, I'm just a big dog. I get into all sorts of situations. I thought he was the dog owner. No, I think he's a dog. I think he's doing Marmadukee.

Well, he's not doing Marmaduke. He's... Playing marmaduke. No, that was that bobcat Goldthwaite movie that chick fuck that dog. That's what you're thinking about. Important distinction.

Playing marmaduke. Because you're also, we're conflating with that other movie where Owen Wilson and his family buy a dog and the dog is shitty and then the dog dies. All right.

Does Marmaduke die at the end of that movie? You mean Dupree, right? Dupree was the dog. Yes. Also, the way you... The dog wasn't sentenced to death. It died. Oh, wow, I've been sentenced to death.

You know, seeing a dog hang would be something different, right? I'm not saying I want to, but... Yeah, technically you're not wrong, that's fine. So this movie, how many of you guys saw this movie before the announcement of the tour? Oh, God. How many of those were in the theater? Oh, yeah, that tapered right the fuck off.

Those are your people. Yes. Those are your people. Yes, you also? wasted time and money. No, Eric, didn't we see this together in the theater? Did we? Oh, then I was really high.

Was I alone? No, I was there probably. Hey, Eric, man, this movie sucks. Tell that guy to shut up. I don't know who Eric is. Clearly a woman named Diane. So this is the Nicholas Cage movie where his son gets a sheet of numbers.

And it's a code for tragedies. that have happened or something. Or something. Oh, what is this, Caleb? Is this Pie Day? Is it Pie Day today? Man, Pi Day fucking sucks.

I didn't get them any Pie Day gifts. Well, it's bullshit because pie goes on forever. So 314, it should be 314. And human tragedy also goes on forever. Yeah, it's true. Do you ever have those people who went to high school with that bragged about like knowing how far out they could do pie?

Oh, really? Well, Catholic school. They didn't believe in science over there. You don't count, Steve. I was talking to the other two. I know friends who brag about eating pie. You're just talking about me, aren't you? I'm just sub-tweeting you on stage.

Oh, that's good. So this movie starts with one of the dumber things human society can do a time capsule. Okay, you know what? You said this earlier. It's 1959. What else are they going to do? They've got I Love Lucy and the Bay of Pigs. You want to know what my favorite time capsule is?

A coffin. I'm telling you, exhumabody after 50 years, it'll surprise you. Listen, this summer, you're going to be picking it up from Random House Press. Eric says, because 101 jokes you can tell to make your family leave you. I'll write it. This is just what I thought it would look like. so it's like it's 1959 set the scene it's

a school somewhere around the Boston area which is why we selected where you find people this evening local favorite film right yeah you guys got this Boondock Saints

that one where Ben Affleck Robs Fenway the departed not only departed I don't want to bring that one up though man trying to do the deeper cuts like knowing but also you should I mean this you guys

could also do this show, this episode in Australia, which is where the movie's filmed. And it's so Australia. It's crazy. Cangaroo in the background. Dude, the whole movie, all those Bostonian extras are like, crack. I mean, oh, fuck.

If you see a kangaroo, it's an alien, okay? Or an angel or whatever this is about. Look, it's got a gooey sack right there. I'm reaching my hand in this alien sack. Ew. Yeah, no, it was meant to be gross.

Sometimes this show gets gross. Wait, Yahoo! Serious is a person? It's the teacher, and she's like, oh, you know, we're opening this new school to 1959, and everyone got pulled for a great idea about how to celebrate this. And Lucinda had the best idea, which was a time capsule.

Like barn dance wasn't used. No, barn burning wasn't used. Barn burning wasn't used. A raffle could have been fun. How about a nice bake sale? Sure. A sock hop. Everybody loves a sock hop.

But the fucking, the time capsule is so expensive. They went all, like, listen, if you're a school administrator and your student is like, oh, a time capsule is a great idea, here's what you do. You get a stack of index cards and a fucking shoebox and a shovel. That's all you need. Guys, it's 1959. The principal probably had an old at bomb from the big one.

Just hollow it out. It's a dud. That's what I'm talking about, man. It looks like Magneto built this fucking thing. There's like this cement hole in the ground in this canister, and there's like fucking dry ice. Yes, Charles. Let's bury it for 50 years.

Maybe they'll understand us then. And usually when you're doing a time capsule, right? It's like shit that's important. You maybe toss some baseball cards. Sure. A newspaper would be fun. Yeah, any old garbage like that. dead hamster. Sure.

Get Fuzzy in there. Fuck it. Maybe he'll come back from the dead. Oh, dude, you could a cask of a Montliado that hamster? Just bury him alive. I told you to stay in your cage, Fuzzy. Now look. You got capsuled. Future generations will be in

awe of you. But instead, this school's just like, here's some construction paper, do a bunch of shitty drawings your parents would throw out anyway. And that's what's in the time capsule. That really needs to be stressed. these are the shittiest drawings I've ever seen. Even by kids' standards, this is garbage.

You should make a great art teacher, you know? Shit, shit, shit, expelled. This is supposed to be a dinosaur that's a green circle. What the fuck are you doing? The kids, they got to learn art criticism sometimes. If they're ever going to be the next Picasso. Well, he would be the number 10 contrarian art critic of all time. That's right.

Yes, I would. But Lucinda is like a psychic girl or something. Because everything in Boston and in the New England area from Stephen King Times, how many psychics are in the room right now out of curiosity? Every fifth person or the Stephen King book is psychic. In some capacity, like reading minds, telekinesis, maybe. This is different because the sun is talking to the girl, right?

I think that's what I'm, that's where I gleam from it. She's staring at the sun. Not supposed to do it, by the way. No. And it's like whispering her numbers? Numbers and like, you know, just two scoops of raisins. Right? I think I caught that.

Yes. A little raisin brand plug in this movie. Sure. It's a balanced breakfast. You might want to consider it. This girl looks like she needs some some, though, because they cast like the girl who was rejected to play the girl in the ring.

Yes. She was on the short list. And they're like, no, don't go outside yet. We've got another person. project for you. Stay in your cage. That didn't actually happen. It did happen, and that's Australia for you.

But so she fails this assignment. Like, draw a picture that you like. Fails hard, dude. She writes all these numbers and this teacher's like, well, this is bullshit. It's not even Pye Day. It's not even Pieday. I'm not going to put this in the time capsule. It's just going to confuse people. See, this is.

a teacher after my own heart. This is bullshit. Get it out of my classroom now. No, but she does put it in the time capsule as a thing. And thank God because otherwise, I mean, no movie. Yeah. Shorter movie. Thank God. It takes, speaking of this time capsule, it takes

two guys to put this thing in the ground. Two guys. No, no, no, no, dude. It's because those dudes are union. Oh, okay. All right. Oh, you got a time capsule job, huh? it's a minimum of a time and a half eight hours at minimum two guys oh no three you gotta get the foreman in there

oh wait wait wait wait wait you're gonna use a shoe box oh no no no got this Xavier canister we stole it from Magneto say what you want about those guys that's why you got weekends you're absolutely right dude so they bury it and

she gets some more messages from the sun she escapes I mean she's talking to the sun By the way I love that this movie the whole end of the movie Spoiler alert is like the sun destroys everything I think the sun's the bad guy The son's the bad

Total villain of the film But they set up the sun Like it is right They introduce the sun Oh no he's set up The sun is framed by these aliens Oh I see At MIT you get the back story of the sun

Exactly Oh right Nicholas Gage is a fun professor and he likes to throw models at you. Models. This is MIT. This is what they do. Models.

In an astrophysics course at MIT, he has posters. I think I saw a kitten one. To be fair, if you didn't set up the sun and its powers, it would just be a Mary Sue, which you don't want. Dear the Internet, the Mary Sue's sun that I saw

in what would have been a flawless film otherwise. And it's just heating the whole planet the whole time. I mean, it is. It does a solar flare and we don't see it training to do solar flas? All right. All right, that's it. I'm editing out the sun from this movie

and re-releasing it online. Man, that dude sucks. Now it's not like a Marvel movie anymore. It's the demarvelized edition of knowing. The sun's dark. Now it's the moon. The way it fucking should be. God damn it!

Now, if the moon was talking to this little girl, we got ourselves a way. werewolf movie, my friend. That'd be amazing, right, if she turned into a werewolf? Hey, a little girl, don't you want to change into a monster? Two scoops of moon cheese. Oh, ew. Oh.

But the sun's... I heard myself say that, I'm sorry. The son's given her all sorts of bad juju. She hides in a closet and starts scratching into the walls, like an animal. Not into the walls. What is she doing? She's scratching at the door. She's scratching at the door. She's scratching at the door. Scratch it at the door! See Ghost Rider's Spirit of Vengeance

Another Nicholas Cage classic And then we just cut to Nicholas Cage He's making a barbecue for his son At Night, dude, something about Here's the combo, this is the combo that you're privy to here. At night, barbecue, he's chugging red wine

Making hot dogs? And we later find out It's a famous hot dog dinner? Dude, any time someone is like, oh yeah, granddad's famous hot dog recipe, that old fuck just boiled it in water. Yeah. There's no famous hot dog recipe.

It's famous because I put them in the microwave. When you're a highly functioning alcoholic, hot dogs can be famous. You went all the way to the trouble of making you hot dogs. That Nathan was a lush. But what is the... What he calls it to these, like,

hot dogs on the run. That, I think, is just you will eat these and instantly get diarrhea. What else would that mean? Are you leaving right after this? I mean, hot dogs on the go, I can understand. You leave the grill with bun and hand. You're going directly to bed afterwards,

which is also crazy. Dude, you got to wait. It's like swimming, man. You got to wait like 30 minutes to sleep before you eat a hot dog. I don't know, man. How's it some hot dogs and going right to bed sounds right in my zone.

And his son comes out. They have a nice little talk. He informs him that he's a vegetarian. He's like, what are you going to fucking tell me, man? Which I love. Why don't you inform the guy who bars the groceries, stupid child? I just did, idiot. That's what's awesome.

Is this little turd kid? He claps back and he claps hard. He tells that Nicholas Cage to shut his fucking mouth man it's awesome can we talk about the appearance of this film so it's like this is like 2009 it's when he was really gaunt the coke was flowing really well in new Orleans and like he did I know that he had like government problems with taxes etc did they take his sideburns was that the settlement yeah because he's got no sideburns it's like it starts here taxman took my burns they took my burns all right well nicholas we're going to take

34% of your salary going forward. Your sideburns are gone. Now, you can keep the pyramid grave. You can keep that. That's fine. Oh, that's not going to. He got Uncle Francis to pay for that. Steve, you had a great description earlier when we were talking about this about Nicholas Cage's

appearance, that he looks like a scarecrow. He does. He looks like a living scarecrow. He looks like Iqabod Crane. I'm falling on hard time. You know, I saw that headless horseman and it freaked me out. I got hooked on crank after that.

That's a goodbye crane on hard times. The thing is, about his appearance, there's a shot when he's teaching, and they're shooting him, like, head on, and you can see light, like, through the hair. Yes. You've got to cut that out, editing department. He must have been furious.

I told you the sun was the enemy. Also, if you're being fitted for a wig, man, just stipulate it's got to have natural-looking sideburns. Wait, hold on, he's got a wig? That's what the internet tells me. It's a rug. Wait, you guys like the internet, right? Yeah!

Internet people. So he's putting his kid to bed, and he's like, look, by the way, your mom is dead. Thank you, audience. But, you know, you're doing a little peppery exposition. and the kid's like, is mom in heaven? And he's like, yeah, about that. I feel like if your kid is asking you that,

the answer is always yes. Of course it is. Oh, mommy's looking down. She's at a big fucking cloud with a harp and the whole bit. I mean, do you know how easy it is to lie to children? Yeah. It's like 90% of being a parent

is just lying to them constantly. Especially about metaphysics. Like, you know, this kid's not going to prove you wrong. Oh, yes, Caleb. Heaven is a hole in the ground. You know, Caleb, I heard that heaven is a place on earth It's called our backyard Ooh, ooh, Caleb, ooh, heaven

Is a place on earth They say in heaven, Caleb, love comes first Ooh, heaven, Caleb Is a place on earth All right, I'm not listening to music anymore either No more meat and no more music You killed hot dogs for me, you killed music, and you killed Jesus Well, no, sweetie.

Actually, your mom is decomposing right now. She's meat. I know you're a vegetarian, but she's just meat. Dude, she's not decomposing shit. We learned she got burned up in a hotel fire. That's right. Free cremation. And now she's in a...

She's... I'm not making it up. She's now in a special type of time capsule called an urn. Just put a bunch of numbers in there, too. So, yeah, he goes to his class. He's like, hey, everybody, the son, right? They're like, we're paying $90,000 for this. Okay, student loans, awesome.

Well, they're all these foreign exchange students from Australia, dude. Including someone who'd become famous later on. Liam Hemsworth is in this movie. Yes. As bewildered student number four. It's really in and out, huh? He, like, answers one Nicholas Cage question,

throws the little sunball back to him, and then he's never seen a game. He might be wearing a wig, too, in this, by the room. No, that's just, like, he's got, like, a year 2000 haircut. It was like, Zach Morris a little bit. Like, it's a little bit. Yeah. Yeah.

I'm surprised there's not frosted tips, honestly. Yeah. I was expecting it. It's kind of like a bad die job, though, of some kind. It's also really curly. Well, it's like Liam Hemsworth, who cares? Like, honestly, like, you know what, dude? Get that guy on.

off my television. I'm just done. I'm out. I'm just out. Really? Yeah, done. Of course. I would take his goddamn, what, the less, the third brother that's on Westworld over him. That one who's like mostly a stuntman? Yeah. He's a real, he's like the real meat and potatoes Hemsworth. Cricy. A salt of the earth Hemsworth. I can get into that. Exactly. Yeah. But, uh, yeah, uh, Ben Mendelsso comes in and he's like, hey man, you owe me a latte, so let's hang out. Let's talk about this. Kind of a thing. And like, more, there's more like, oh, you should meet this lady because she's got a Ph.D., he calls it.

I just got her doctorate, and she's got big tits. Does everybody get it? I just love that not even a doctorate could stop Ben Mendelsohn. He's like, no dignity, sorry. Hey, buddy, tits. Oh, you're still mourning your dead wife, sorry. I'm sorry, oh, boy, I'm sorry about that. And it's also that, like, super uncomfortable.

Like, hey, you know, I know you really bummed about your wife that was a fucking crispy critter in that hotel room. Right, but, like, it's been half a year, man. Get it wet. Come over to my house. Have dinner with my wife and Ph.D. We'll put on Cinemax after 1130. You're right, it does sound a bit like a sex party,

because it's not just like come over. Yes. Because it just sounds like Keys could be involved at some point. Exactly. That's a two-way mirror. If I ever, Ben Mendelssohn, oh, yeah, I'm just going to be behind here, and you and my sister-in-law can go at it.

Hey, buddy, tell me how she is. Me and, me and Willem DeFoe are going to be behind this mirror here. If you hear any coughing, don't worry about it. Ew. So he rejects that offer. Yeah, yeah. And he goes, his son is now at the, he's singing at the unveiling of the,

time capsule. Nicholas Cage realizes he's laid to it by going, oh no, Caleb's ceremony. You're just like dial it back, man. What a fucking ceremony. And he's like running like this because he's trying to keep his hair on his head. He's got a little strap underneath maybe.

They're going to think I escape from the cornfield. Again, sidebirds would be helpful. It keeps everything kind of, you know, normal looking. Yeah, I'd be like, wow, I thought that was a scarecrow for a second. I saw those sideburns, it's clearly Nicholas Cage. I have the power to repel birds. Here's my fear tonic. He also kind of looks like Earthworm Jim a little bit.

Oh, yeah, he does. And his head gets narrower. Oh, man, dude, Earthworm Jim live action movie? Yeah, you can do that. If we can do a fucking Sonic the Hedgehog this summer, I mean, come on. You know what, if you pay him money, he'll do it. That's the cool thing. later that, like, came out as a bigot or something?

Yeah, oh, yeah. Like, willingly. I'm a bigot. Hey, I'm a bigot. Yeah, it was on Time magazine. Yep, I'm a bigot. So whatever, they're singing this little light of mine. It's a really fucking terrible children's choir, first of all.

And what I love about the way they set up this ceremony, all of these teachers could not be less excited to be at this thing. You see this crop of, like, 10 people just like, These Debbie Downer-looking motherfuckers? It's awesome. It sounds like a day off when it's being pitched to you but they're like, oh wait, I have to come to this?

Exactly. And it's only some of the teachers. I think that's the thing. Like 10 of them drew the short straw and everybody else got to fuck off for the rest of the day. Oh, Bill, you want to come drinking later? No, man, I got to go to the ceremony.

And these kids are acting like maniacs. My God, they're like zombies grabbing out these goddamn letters. Who gives you shit? Well, they cart out the teacher who came up with the whole thing. She's a hundred and four years old. Where am I?

We took her out of a time capsule kids. Had that a lot of union guys for that. She starts doing a lot of puns. She's like a cryptkeeper. Anyway. Welcome to the time capsule on dealing. I'm just dying to see what's in it. But again, at 1959, it makes sense

that you're excited. 2009, you have the internet, do you have video games? What are you doing trying to go after this thing? Like, it's the curing contagion. Oh, cool. A picture of Buck Rogers. Awesome. This is so much better than a fucking video game. A picture of Buck Rogers.

That's just a red splot. Exactly. It's all crayon drawings. They're terrible. And then this kid gets ripped off. He gets his fucking picture of numbers on it. I would be furious. Yeah.

I love the kid that comes up like, hey, what did you get? Oh, numbers, that's stupid. Bye. Well, it's like he's commenting on the movie in the movie. He should show up later. Oh, wait, they're angels or aliens? Alien angels.

Wait, Rose Burns in this movie? Yeah, bye. You're tuning out for Rose Burns? No, no, I'm just saying. He would be comment. this kid is a bit of a stinker oh wow this movie's two hours weird bye

so the kid takes the number starts speaking to him now and also is this the letter or the sun raisin brand but also these Anthony Michael Hall motherfuckers are also around this is the calorie information

for raisin brand. Serving size half a bowl. What the fuck? Okay. So it's cup, calories, and the amount of milk you should use. Caleb? What's riboflavin?

Caleb! Caleb, I eat raisin brand by the bag. This is like strapped to his fucking face like a horse. Oh, yeah, the end of the world. but he brings it home and you know because the letters are talking to him or whatever the fuck he's going crazy and his dad finds it and he's like

oh man you stole I mean I guess so also these kids are excited to hold a piece of paper and then give it back to their teacher what a fucking great day at school great point Steve great point because why would they not just go immediately in the garbage oh you want to take this paper full of numbers home

fucking great Less for Larry the janitor to clean up afterwards. You're giving all these pictures to kids to hold and then give back. It's just, you're just asking for boogers. This is a booger receptacle. Oh, yeah, or like fucking food on it. Feses.

Kids, man, kids are sure. I'm wiping my ass with it. You hear what kids are like? They wipe their ass with it. So, again, being a highly functioning alcoholic, Nicholas Cage is like, that's ridiculous. Let me drink the world's largest glass of whiskey. It's overflowing.

I love this. You never found yourself in that position where you're pouring out like a couple of fingers. You get distracted by a mysterious thing of numbers. You overflow the fucking glass. At this point, just chug, man. Do the bottle thing. It's a little more dignified.

Yeah, I mean, drinking out of a bottle is way more dignified than what he does, which is having to slurp it off of the carpet. Oh, that's what I did. That's the only way... That's me in college, pardon me. That's the only way he could have a beautiful mind and see the numbers work.

Now they're just dancing. Dancing on the page. Oh, whoa. Caleb, look away. These numbers are 69. The numbers he notices because he puts this enormous cup on it and makes a ring and it's 9-1101

and he's like, well, that seems familiar. Where, oh, where have I seen those numbers before? Oh, I was supposed to never forget something. He has to Google it. He does. And to be fair, he's from Massachusetts. Oh, wow. Yeah.

What a fucking asshole. I just want to let you guys be involved in the show. No, but what's hilarious is, like, of course that's what they have to use to ground it in like, oh, fuck, this piece of paper means business. And it's the only one we remember. You can't use the date the Titanic sank. You know, when was Waco? Nobody cares.

Waco, that's a great question. Waco has to be on this document. Titanic is too early. Too early, unfortunately. So it's 59 plus. Yeah, 59 and on. The Korean War, Vietnam, they've all got to be there. And those numbers must be really fucking long.

Well, that's what's kind of obnoxious about these aliens, right? They're being very picky, choosy about which tragic events they put. put on their little numbers sheet. Spoiler alert, the event that killed Nicholas Cage's wife is on this list, and it killed 40 people? How was that making the list? That's not

making national news. Come on. I think that's a good barometer, right? Like national news or above? On this list there was a fender bender on I-95, and two people got injured. It's on the list. Oh my God.

That time I got a paper cut and It's right there! But, like, why not every day? Just give me the body count for every single day on Earth. Exactly. Everyone's dying all the time, baby. Everybody's...

So it's the date, the casualty level. Right. Kill count. Can we call that the kill count? The sun's kill count. Well, that's the... Is the sun influencing these things? Oh, yeah. The sun is the puppet master

of this whole fucking thing. The aliens hired the sun. Okay. And the son's doing all the work, man. Unless the aliens planted the shit on him. I don't know. Oh, that's true. By the way, when he writes out 9-11-01, he's like, oh, 91, 10, 1.

Okay. That is the thing you have to get immediately. He's like, no, the slash can't go there. No, what's 91? My grandmother died at 89, no. Wait, maybe she lived. Okay, rescue 911. That was William Shatner's show.

Okay, got it. It's also great. It was way better than America's most wanted. Hold on a second. Are these phone numbers? Should I call 911? Oh my God, this is every number the jerky boys called.

It makes perfect sense. Yeah, I'd like to speak to whoever's in charge. Yeah, the son. I got the jerky Rolodex this could be worth a fortune It's like finding fucking Biff's Almanac dude The jerky boys' Rolodex

You better believe it So once he gets that rubric He starts like going through all of them And again, you know, Waco shows up Some earthquakes are there Oklahoma City bombing Another classic you want to bring up in this movie Yeah the few earthquakes

The Joey, the spin-off from Friends is on there Surprisingly a lot Over 2,000 casualties I'm just saying make them up yeah exactly you can make up you know because there's like

rando car accidents on there that you don't know I'm just saying like this movie would have been fine without invoking 9-11 sure that's all that would probably would have been totally fine

at the same time it's the big guy you know you're like yeah oh yeah okay these are tragedies if you didn't have it someone would complain so he gets this and he goes to

Google more and plays the Worst game of number hunt I've ever seen to, and he's doing all this while drinking constantly. This is like 10 minutes of this movie. You're just watching him drink a bunch of whiskey and circle shit. And then the next day he drops his kid off and he's like, Dad, you're being really awkward.

He's like, no, dude, I've got a hangover. Yeah, I'm awkward. Yeah, I'm very awkward today. I'm so awkward that I'm wearing sunglasses all day. You've been really awkward since mom burned in that fire. been awkward a lot I'm awkward I'm gonna eat a bacon egg and cheese

and go back to sleep that's how fucking awkward I am Caleb Dad you have a job No I don't Not today I don't He tries to pitch this shit To Ben Mendelssoin speaking of his job

Wait pitch it I like just kind of like the idea of like Dude get on this dude Get in on Yeah you get them in an elevator Round floor of this fucking paranoid conspiracy And Ben Mendelsen doesn't buy it clearly because it's

like date, casualty, but then there's like other numbers that they haven't figured out yet. Oh yeah, that's nothing. It means nothing. Yeah, no, just erase that part. It's fine. This makes it work. Well, it's also hard to read because he starts of, you know, it's very straight, but then it starts going like the...

Yeah, the circling is way too precise for how fucking shit-faced he should be. Wait a minute. Those numbers are the numbers of everyone who fell off of Royal Rumble. Oh my God! Oh, my God, it's got every WrestleMania in SummerSlam.

Right there. Right there. The one on the top left. Yeah, there. That's the one where Foley took the belt. Oh, my God. I cracked it. Bam Bam Bigelow got hit by how many chairs? I told my buddy Bam Bam, bam, he shouldn't get hit with that many chairs. That's going to cause some brain damage, buddy. And then look what happened. He got a tattoo on the back of his dumb head.

My God WrestleMania is in the same breath as the Waco disaster This ain't right Yup and you could tell that this conspiracy really works out Because my governorship is also listed Among the tragedies

Yup there's the day I took office It's right there You know it checks out guys guys It checks out I'll be talking further on my Russia TV show With Oliver Stone's son Oh Jesse the Buddy Ventura I love that guy man

He's great He's a real hero. Scullet and all. That skullet is beautiful. You know what? Cage should embrace the skull. Yes. Can you imagine?

It would look so bad, good. Can you fucking seriously imagine if Nicholas Cage had his skullet? Right? Does everybody know what a skullet is? Oh my God. Now, wait a second. Okay, so a skullet, ladies and gentlemen,

because that was not enough of a round of applause. We are going to take out a razor blade. One volunteer from the audience. It's when you have, you have like the male pattern ball this where it's like the horseshoe, but then you let what's left of the shoe grow into a ponytail and leave it forever. That's... It's a hot look, I'm going to tell you.

It's a rousing look. It's a skull. Yeah, it's a reverse Padawan. It's the only way you could be bald and have long hair at the same time, which seem counterintuitive, right? Yeah, I'm defying physics with this haircut, buddy. It proves that physics is bunk Yeah, my head's an oxy moron

What of it The fact did we get on Jesse the body? Oh, WrestleMania Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, sorry Bam Ben Bigelows And this is what happens Sometimes we just go off on these tangents Which is fine because knowing

So he realizes Oh my God, tomorrow is going to be one of these tragedies So I better get drinking I better get drinking so that when tomorrow comes around I'm drunk enough to drive to the scene of the fucking accident but he's kind of like having an Oscar party about this thing he's got like snacks like his kids go to bed and he's like yeah yeah yeah dad's got to stay up and watch the news

and he's like watching it's like there was a car accident he's not enough dad he's getting bummed out that people aren't dying because he's got the number he's searching for 81 and he's like oh 64 fuck By the way, what convinces Ben Mendelson that he might not be completely crazy is he takes out a folder

and I'm calling this his dead wife folder because he just has all these printed out from the internet websites about the thing that killed his wife and just shows it to him. It's like, now do you believe me? Yeah, here's what InfoWords said about that fire. I mean, 40 people though, that's a lot for a fucking hotel.

What? The matchbox? hotel. We'll leave the light on for you, dude. The pilot light. It's like, you can stay. We can't afford the Westin, okay? You've got to go to that fleabag matchstick motel.

I'm not saying it's not a tragedy. It's just the series that ends with the end of the world. Maybe not. It's just a weird way to build up to it. Like nine car accidents, a hotel fire, and then the end of the world. Yeah.

A little strange. Some other stuff like 9-11 and, you know, wake-out. Yeah. I mean, would it more? I mean, we'd hate it more probably if she died in 9-11. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's a big time. So what's another... You don't want the audience, like, thinking about it that world. Yeah, but you need some other tier of tragedy. Yeah, you're right. Like this fictitious hotel.

Nah. You're right. You wouldn't want an audience thinking about 9-11 that much. It's almost as if we're talking about. It's okay. Hey, they're internet people. That's all they read about.

So he goes, he's driving, because he's hungover again, he realizes his son is, like, got to get picked up from soccer practice, some nonsense, and on the way there, he comes across a traffic stop. And he said, well, this is a big inconvenience. Yeah, well, and this is like,

this screenplay is genius. Because it sets up a little bit of red herring here because what is causing this traffic stop is like a tipped over, like, oil tanker truck. And you're like, oh, here it comes, okay. And while he's, like, going out and he's asking the cop, he's like, oh, hey, what's going on? Are 81 people dead by any chance?

Because he also notices the lines of latitude and longitude on his GPS, which he was using to go to his son's school. Because he's fucking wasted, man. He doesn't remember. Oh, when I pick Caleb up from soccer practice, I'm always lit. Oh, this is the next number sequence. It's going to happen here.

Yay! Where are the body bags? I was expecting body bags. And all of a sudden, out of nowhere, this sideways plane falls on him. Are you fucking kidding me? And they don't even hear it. It's just like it sneaks up on them.

This is a plane crash ninja, dude. It absolutely is. Because he's asking this highway patrol officer he's like, hey, man, are 81 people dead back there? And the cop is like, sir, go back in your car, I can't. Holy shit. This is great, man. You didn't see that coming?

But it looks good. This is the best scene of the movie, right? Yeah. What the hell do you people like? I don't know, man. That's subway disaster coming up. That's true. It looks like a scene from Raccoon City.

What is Raccoon City? Resident Evil. Oh, okay. Oh, sorry. And everyone on the plane was covered in gasoline, obviously. All right, we're about to hit 30,000 feet. If you look under your seat there, there's a little canister of gasoline. We encourage you at this time to pour it all over your body quickly and as thoroughly as possible.

Make sure you pour it on yourself first before you pour it on the baby next to you. Yeah, that's grim. Well done. Well done. Which is what they would end up being as well done. Well done, dude. Well done to you too. Everyone's running around on fire.

Like so many people. Speaking of a Resident Evil, man. And Nick Cage is like, hey, hey, what's happening? Hey, stop. Talk to me. Hey, did you know. No running. Do you know about the numbers in the sun?

I'm on fire. Oh, you're a pile of grizzle now? Yeah, what's going on? How's it going, man? There's all these... How can I help you? Exactly. There's all these puddles of water everywhere,

and he's like, I don't know how to... I don't have to put out a fire. What does it? An air? Get some air on these people. Oh, he's been dead for minutes. Oh, okay. He does rub...

There's a blanket out of nowhere that he throws on this dude. I don't know where this blanket came from. If I'm burning alive, don't do it. Wait, don't throw a blanket on you? No, I don't know where it's been. In an air crash. Well, the flames all over your body

will sterilize that shit, dude. A blanket in a barren field, you know what that's for. Or what that's been used for. I assume it was from the plane. Oh, okay. No, dude, Steve's right. It's a fuck blank. Exactly.

Come on. It's clearly a fuck blank. Oh, no. I let down. on my duties as a scarecrow in the teenagers came and fucked on this field. Oh no, they're fucking in my cornfield, no!

No, a plane crashed in my cornfield and my... Oh! The scarecrows are not doing anything about that, man. Yeah, I don't need... Control air disasters. I thought I could scare birds including airbirds, you know, airplanes. They're birds, right?

Isn't that like a... that's like an Air Force term? Yeah. Not those famous sea birds. So he's freaking out, and he's starts, like, giving some guy bad CPR. He's like, he's using his elbows. And the paramedics run by, and they're like, you killed him.

He's like, I had to make it to 81. I only counted 80. He had to die. He's just a serial killer trying to complete the code. He's got little notches on a no pad. That's the other thing, too, about these tragedies. Like, how do you count? Sometimes it takes people a couple days to die.

Like, does that count or not? It should. For the purposes of this film? No. No, it's like Day of Dead. Single Impacts Only. Exactly. See, Ben Mendelssohn, this is mapping out single impacts only.

So you're just counting opening weekend then, is that what you're saying? Yeah, yes. That's right. We don't care about the foreign box office, dude. This movie was number one. It's weekend. How? Slow week for the movies?

Yeah, March 2009. Well, you know why? It was fucking people like me blazed out of their minds going to the theater. And apparently me. Or maybe not, dude. I was probably there. Come on. And his sister is kind of a character

who's like trying to get him to come back. Take that back. She is not a character. Kind of a character. They're trying. Two scenes. Yeah. Isn't her name like barely there or something?

Yes. Grace barely there. Only there so that he could be like, oh yeah, that's right. Remember how our dad's a pastor? One of the most obvious bullshit exposition thing. Religion is stupid. That's why I'm a scientist.

There's only one or the other. It's almost like this movie's got too many plates in the air, man. Maybe. I sit around with my siblings like, hey, remember us growing up and what our dad did? Hey, remember how our dad had a job? You remember that? Lucky you. Sorry to brag, dude.

Spitting right in his face, man. And so, like, she's taking care of the kid. He comes home. He, like, washes his face. I'm like, I'm washing everything. I'm doing, like, the crawl into the shower with all my clothes on bit. A, because I want to do that once in my life.

You haven't done that yet? No, I haven't done it yet. Oh, it's awesome. Really? Oh, really? Oh, yeah. You've done that? Oh, yeah.

Just like on the reg. Like regularly? Oh, on the reg. This year's not so good, man. Well, you know what? You need a hearing aid, just like Caleb. Yeah, Caleb is a hearing aid. No, you're just like, I was so hungover.

Okay, it was one of those. Sure. Yeah. Oh, that's the story. Were you given us... Did your son find a spooky piece of paper the night before or what? That's what set the whole thing off, dude.

Whatever, like, it's kind of going on. His kid keeps getting visited by these tall German aliens or something. They all look like Spike from Buffy. Yeah. Yeah, they like Buffy. Or if, like, Pet Shop Boys was a quartet. They drive up to this kid's house. He's playing socks.

Like, hey, kid, come here. Here's a black guy. rock talk to you later now if you're a movie screenplay and you have a thing where like these pale weirdos are giving like shiny round objects to children explain that yes because i mean elaborate just a bit this angle is very weird you got these weirdos pulling up in this old car trying to lure these children the weirdest thing fingerless gloves yes are you going to work out after this alien angel? I would say

weirder than the fingerless gloves, though. Why do these aliens who know the second to the world is going to end have all this interstellar technology, this, that, and the other thing? Need to ride around in this fucking shitbox car that they have. It's like this beat-up old Cadillac.

It is a pervertobile. I guess to fit in, right? And they picked their appearance if they were betting on Germany. And they're just trying to fit in. Go for Germany. Oh, no, Boston. They got, they saw the appearance of Billy Idol.

That's it. That's what I want. Oh, sure. Yeah. Well, four of those. Well, four Billy Idol's place. When they went to the skin store at Heaven or whatever the fuck they're from. Oh, it's another planet man. But the planet's name's heaven, right?

I mean, at the end of the movie, you get the little angel wings. You don't really know. Well, because the movie, doesn't know. There's multiple readings of the text. No, it's just as sloppy as Ball's movie. Yeah. It just makes no sense. They live in the Crimson Peak

house for some reason. Can we talk about Nicholas Cage's house in this? He lives in a fight club mansion. What is this? Like, the kitchen looks like the property brothers had a once-over on it. And then every other fucking wall in this house is water stains

and holes all over the place. fucking chipped paint. Well, maybe it was like a fun project for him and his wife and then... Oh, I don't know. We'll do the kitchen. Kitchen first. Oh, no.

Now me and my mind friend Tyler are making human soap. Caleb, come in here and make soap with Tyler. You will come to love him as an uncle. Caleb, throw this carpet over that barbed wire and get up there. I am Jack Sideburn's.

wait, no, I'm not. I know I'm Jack's complete lack of side person. Now, Caleb, this is chemical burn. Yeah. He'd do it. I believe it. You know, kind of as this is going on, he's starting investigating what the... He's looking into the janitors for a while.

That doesn't go anywhere. Yeah, but that's where you got to start. Yeah. Always start with the janitors. He meets the teacher. He finds out that the woman. the girl who wrote the numbers died but she had a daughter

who's Roseburn so he takes his son on a stalking expedition like literally this is actually spooky now hey kids got to learn sometime man he's like hey man we're just going to hang out outside this lady's house and then follow her around for a while

it's called romance do you think that he's bummed out when it comes to be that she's taking the kid to the museum and he's like fuck now I got pay an admission fee. I didn't know stalking was going to be so expensive. And he, like, sets this thing up where, like, the kid, the little girl, she has a little girl, and she's, like,

looking at something, he's like, hey, go talk to that little girl. And it's like, ew. Go on, do it. I'll be right here talking to her mom. Then, Caleb, we're going to open a two set because we're pickup artists now. Hey, Caleb, bring your arm can. you might need it to look more vulnerable

and put on this felt fedora keep your eye open for an old couch yeah well that's where it's going man but he starts talking up Rose Byrne a little bit here

and he's like ah how about that bear she's looking at his stuffed polar thing and she's instantly creeped out rightfully so yeah Well, she's trusting at first.

Like, she's kind of like, oh, okay. Yeah, he disarms her by, but I'm like, is that your daughter? And he's like, oh, my God, why? Do you know, why? Oh, because my son is talking to her and looks like they're getting along. Maybe we could be mommy and daddy now.

Dude, the line is it looks like they're already best friends. No. They're going to be, because I ain't leaving by your side, ever. Till the end of the world, whatever your name is. Just three days from now. I'll tell you that in a minute.

And they go out for a nice milkshake. You know, the things are going well until he's like, I know when your mother died. She's like, oh, no. This always happens to me. I meet a nice guy. And then he found Mom's piece of paper. Fucking fourth time this week, man.

Also, by the way, milkshake at a museum, like, commissary. Yeah, he's broke after that. Yeah. What do they put bourbon in it or something? That's like an $18 garbage milkshake. Have you ever eaten at a museum? It's fucking trash. And he doesn't even, like, he goes right into it.

Like, they talk, oh, I know I'm widowed, and she kicked her husband out, I think. And they was like, yeah, anyway, your mother knows what the end of the world looks like. Okay, lady, now listen to me. Which is what he goes. for it, but it's like, he's a widower. His story tested through the roof on Seinfeld. That was a perfect answer. That's a second date situation.

You bring up that, you know how her mom died and all that. Exactly. There's no time, man. The world is ending in three days. You could do a day date the next day. Well, you know, maybe. Follow-up day date? That's tough, man.

It's tough, but it's possible. The science is there. So, you know how, like, your mom was knowing stuff? Now I'm knowing it. So maybe if we'd knowed it together, we'd be able to crack the code here, lady. Knowing. They say knowing a lot in this movie.

Quite a lot. And instantly, she's like, Diana, we're going. And there's a scene at this museum cafeteria. It's uncomfortable. She's screaming, he's screaming. She leaves him in the dust. It's all, like, my skin was crawling. The end of the world, whatever.

That subway thing, whatever. The plane on fire, whatever. This horrendous douche-jo moment in this movie for me. He's like, 130 people gonna die tomorrow. All right. Yeah, what do you want me to do about? What the hell? Well, she rightfully is like, and?

And she goes to, he has to go to New York because that's where the piece of paper told him to go. Didn't tell him anything. He's just like, if it doesn't happen, I'm going to be there to make it happen. Exactly. That would be the fucking awesome twist of this movie is that he finds out, like, he's in the position

he has to cause the thing. And he's so desperate to make the numbers work that he does the thing. That would be awesome. That would be something. Anything. Nothing. This movie does nothing instead.

It's got angel aliens later. So it's a subway disaster that he, and he keeps calling the FBI. He's like, it's going to happen, man. This is not a cranky anchor call, okay? Click. Well, that's the one realistic New York thing is he runs up to a police officer.

He's like, don't you get my letter that the terrorist attack is going to happen today? She's like, yeah, buddy. You should have heard this fucking weirdo early saying he knew about the terrorist attack. So that terrorist attack happens. The alien terrorist attack happens. Which is a train derailment,

and it is pretty boss, all right? We get to see some POV of train hitting business men. Dude, it's subway cam, dude. And if you ever commuted in Manhattan, you won't. I honestly, I'm surprised that Nicholas Cage isn't like, oh, I've been to New York City.

Oh, there's too many people anyway. It's fine. But also, he's, like, running around chasing this one guy that, like, is jumping over things. Like, you think that this guy, again, like, it's obviously a red herring or whatever, this guy's got a bomb or something.

He's just got some, like, bootleg DVDs. Like, dude, It's not worth it. You wouldn't steal a car, would you? So why would you steal? Why would you steal a movie? Piracy is not a victimless crime. Maybe it was the day after he saw that at.

He's like, oh, fuck, the heat is on. Now I got this scarecrow fucking chasing me. The FBI, fuck. That warning was real? $5,000. And yes, this thing is massive. It looks like that scene in Die Hard with a vengeance a little bit. I wanted Sam Jackson to come out and go, duck, asshole!

Which is the best part of Die Hard 3. And he goes back. And this is kind of the movie that I want, which is like Nicholas Cage chasing and watching disasters. Not affecting disasters. Just kind of being present. Well, it's like it's twister, but with casualties. Yeah.

Mass casualties. He's a death chase. It's like crash or something. He's getting like a sexual thrill off of this. That's something they don't delve into and I think the screenplay should have done it. Whether or not he's horny watching all of this. You never know.

I think he definitely is. Yeah, I'm going with a yes on that. It's been a while. You know, his warmth's done. So, you know, it gets those juices flowing again. And he was about to take the date with the P.H.D. lady. So he's already thinking about that.

He's ready to go. So he comes back from New York. and Rose Byrne is there. She's like, wow, you were right about that disaster so now I want to hang out with you. Oh, cool. What a cool boyfriend I'm going to have. What a catch.

She's sitting on the stoop of his house with the daughter? Yeah. In case she needs to be studied by him because he's an astrophysicist or whatever. Oh, is that why? I don't know. I mean, he was asking him about her. Now she's just offering her up.

Now, Caleb, the first rule of stop, I mean, romancing, you take pictures with the sound off on your phone. You can hear the clicks. It'll give a dead giveaway. So whatever, they drive to like her dead mother's fucking cookhouse, whatever this thing is, in the fucking woods, the meth lab, slash conspiracy theory center or whatever. Slash home.

Yeah. And one of the great mysteries, of the movie is on the paper at the bottom, it's not a number, it's two E's, and the whole movie I'm thinking Ethan Embry's dying at the end of us. No, that can't happen.

Ken Hartley Wade is my favorite movie. We have to save Ethan Embry. But it turns out to be everybody else. So we're safe, right? I read it. It said everybody else. It's not me. I'm reading it.

It's everybody else. It's not me. It's not me. it's everybody else. It's good to know that these alien angels know English perfectly. After just talking in numbers, and they're just like, yeah, and everyone else at the end. Well, they know how to look sexy, dressing up like fucking

James Marsters, dude. Or was the kill count so high, like such a string of numbers, you know, Lucinda was just like, oh, fuck this. My hand's getting tired. Everybody else. Et cetera. Somewhere around here is where...

You can't yoddy. Yada, yada billions of people? Why not? Well, then you yada yada over the best part. But they're worthless. Around here is the time where Nicholas Cage, like any red-blooded American, threatens that alien with a gun.

Which, by the way, when he buys a gun, I love this, he's got the revolver, and he takes out the user manual. It's like, okay, all right. So the bullets come out fast. Got it. You put the bullets in the gun. Okay.

Oh, okay. So I don't spit them at them. Okay. Interesting. Good end, bad end. Good end, bad end. Wait, these bullets don't talk. Roger Rabbit's full of shit.

Good day, bad day. Good day, bad. Thinking about the wife. Thinking about the wife. Well, now I'm thinking about those fucking weirdo bullets and Roger Rabbit. They want to fucking kill somebody in that movie. Oh, dude, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. We want to taste human flesh tonight. Absolutely. We're going to get that cartoon rabbit right between his eyes. Now, would they die after, like, penetrating a person? That's a great question. I don't know.

Well, if they pop out the other side, like, gotcha. Oh, damn, I'm only used to frame someone. They're going to just fire into a wall to look like he had a gun. Oh, poor Willie. a Kevlar vest. He's dead now. Oh, that's awful. Were they all cowboys? To me, they are. What does that mean? Well, the most prominent

one was a cowboy, so that means they're all cowboys. We're in the United States and, you know, Maricana. I feel like if I came out of the cowboy out for tonight, somebody would be like, oh, I saw four cowboys last night. Because it just sort of permeates the conversation. You're not going to just be like, oh, there was just that one cowboy guy. Like, oh, those guys are cowboys.

All those, you think he's fucking with you, but he's got a lasso back to him. I just think it would be rad if one of them was like a gangster. Oh, sure. You're like, bha, I'm going to blow your face on. You say that, but you'd be complaining about it, too. I don't know a bad thing to say about Roger Rabbit.

Fair. So, yeah, he's chasing this. Because they go inside of her house, and they're, like, looking around, they find the everything else thing. It's under her mattress. By the way, important details, sorry, Steve. But in a situation like this,

where, like, you're dealing with all of these omens, this haunted number sheet, everything like that. You're in this fucking weird dilapidated cook house, all that stuff. A number one thing to do in this situation leave the kids in the car. Yes. Constantly.

Do it all the time. Doors unlocked. Doors open. Did these aliens walk out like, oh, this is too easy? Look at the stupid scarecrow man left the door open. And the lights, too.

This is a battery's going to die. Oh, stupid scarecrow loves the keys in the car. Well, kids, where do you want to go? Take me to your McDonald's. But like Nick Cage and Roseburn, to be fair, it's on both of them, right? They don't even give a holler out the door, like,

hey, no aliens out there, right? Your kids aren't being costed by aliens, right? They don't even give them instructions if it were to happen. The kid has to think to, Hawk the horn. Kids, it's far too dangerous for you to join us.

Stay out here. In pitch black, dark. And they've already been visited before by these creeps. It's just crazy. At their home. They're skulking around his home and he beats a baseball bat

against a tree to prove he ain't gonna take no shit. Well, it's like a bunch of stray cats around the lawn, man. He just beat the bat against a tree. Oh yeah, he does look like Brian Setzer, that's for sure.

Get out of here with your fancy guitar playing. and your orchestra. Put a jump, jive, and will break a bat over your ass. And he winds, so he, the kid honks the horn, he runs out, he's got his gun, he's, he's chasing this guy down, and his weapon of defense is to blast him with light. Mm-hmm. The alien, that is.

The alien. The famous mouth-light maneuver. Which never happens again. No. Never explained. I'd be mouth-lighting all over the place. It'd be great if the rest of the movie his face was really tan. Like his hands are really white, but his face just got tan.

Like, that alien fucked up my profile, man. The alien keeps feeling his jaw like, ah, ah, mouth lighted too much. I just don't get this. There's really not even a sound effect that accompanies it. I think the sun gives them the power. Oh, fuck, dude. It should have fucking burned his head right off then. That'd be great.

That's how he becomes ghost writer. scratching at the door. He's just like, hold it right there, alien. And it goes, and then it's just a fucking skull. Now I will hunt down demons on Earth for, I don't know, what, 12 hours? How much time we got left to hunt demons?

Well, because yes, now, like, they're very aware, that comes to nothing. They're very aware that the world is ending, like, tomorrow. And that's everyone else. And I think at this point, also Nicholas Cage realizes it's going to be sun-related. It's a sun-related apocalypse? Well, because he realized this is kind of

on him and Ben Mendelssohn. Because he remembers back to a science experiment they did about solar flares. They fucked up. They fucked it up. He's like, oh, no, we underestimated the sun. Much like your average beach goer. Yeah, he's like, oh, we didn't carry the one.

So instead of it being really hot tomorrow, the world will end. That's a big flood. Yeah, it's a huge flood. Yeah, go, oh, yeah, the world's ending. Go see your wife. No, go crazy. The laws of society have broken down now. What would you do in this situation, Chris?

Start with cannibalism. Starting with cannibalism? I think I start with cannibalism. I think you should start with murder and then eat them. Are you going to eat straight, like living bodies? Yeah, why not? That's just called I'm dying tomorrow, Eric.

That's just called biting people at that point. Well, you get a good chunk and you swallow that chunk, I think it counts as cannibals. Yeah, I'd be doing it. Of course it counts. Good. Why wouldn't it count?

It's, like, worse, but it counts. Is it worse? I mean, you could argue it's a crime of passion, but if you're, like, if you're actually, like, cutting fillets and grilling, that's like more premeditated. You don't want to go full handable, it's true.

I mean, you could. My God, he bit his arm. While he's still alive, that's a first. You think you have seen cannibalism, ladies and gentlemen. You think the Chris Benoit thing was on that list too, or no? Definitely. Okay, yeah, all right. Well, it's all right here, four.

I don't think it's significant enough. Okay, I don't think. Casually count of four. Hold on a second. SummerSlam made it. But not Chris Benoit's family. 400 died in SummerSlam. That's true.

So, yeah, he's like, hey, Ben Wendlinson. The World's Ending Tomorrow. It's unrelated. Ah, go talk to your wife. He's like, okay, cool, goodbye movie. Thanks. Thank you for having me. Roseburn, like, over,

this is what doesn't make sense. Well, one of the things that does make sense about this movie. Roseburn overhears him. Like, Nicholas Cage is staring out a window. A green screened window. Nothing is real in this movie. I guess the sun doesn't set in Australia.

And he's looking at this fake window and he's like, man, I can't believe I missed the end of the world. And she's like in the doorway, like, the fuck did you say? And starts crying and runs away. And I'm like, he's been telling you the whole time. But it's not even that.

It's the look of like, if he admitted he kissed someone else and she was wife. It's not like, holy fucking shit. Yeah, it's like the she's all that. Was I just a fucking bed? But instead, it's just the fucking end of the world. The apocalypse was just a bet. It was just a stupid bet.

Ben Mendelssohn's in the corner going, so the sun is kind of like a death star. It's become a death star. Ladies and gentlemen. We stand here amidst my apocalypse, not yours. He was talking about this all day. Orson Crenic, man. Big Crenic fan.

And Roseburn is like, well, maybe... Okay, so the sun is going to melt the entire Earth. What if we went inside of a cave? And he's like, we'd be damp. But we'd have still done. Mommy, dead, and damp, dude. HBO documentary. But, like, at first, Nicholas Cage is on this tip,

and he's, like, calling his dad. And he's like, Dad, Dad, you've got to get to, like, a cave or maybe a sewer. And I'm like, dude, I am, I'm good with the Lord. I am not going, I'm not going to spend the last days covered in shit. Damn, he didn't go for it. I hated my father so much. I wanted to be boiled in sewage.

That's right, old man. You died in a shit stew, baby. Yeah. I'm not the penguin. I'm not going to go into a sewer to die, all right? Well, what I love is, I think, I think, and this is, this is Nicholas Cages is not me saying this, but I think it's a thing where

he's like giving the options in what he considers descending order because he's like, all right, dad, you can go in a basement, the sewer or the tea. And you're like, wait a second. The subway was last?

Crawling around in shit and then the subway. Okay, Nicholas Cage. Boiled alive in shit or baked alive in one of those cars. No, I'm going with the shit. I'll boil in shit. I'm fine. Me and the Teenage Mutinyin Ninja turtles will all die.

Oh, bogus, we're being boiled alive. Turtle soup. Splitter's hair singed off bed. Look, it's a hairless rat. It's so fucking cool. Shredder, get into the techno-drom. We'll go to the center of the earth. Then they'll rule upon the ashes.

Dude, that's the crossover event this movie needed. Sure. Better, not like this. Not like this. Dude, if you want to make an audience shit its pants, you have a terrible end-of-the-world movie like this and then bam, the Ninja Turtles pop out of nowhere. Fucking five stars.

Five stars for that movie. Pizza dudes got five minutes. And that was a shockwave melting Michelangelo. So Michaelangelo was waiting for the pizza and then he was burned to a crisp. Whoa, extra crispy. You know that's an option if you like custom order

dominoes? To burn it? I think half the time they will. You are seriously at that point taking your dinner into your own hands because they have an option that's well done. Ew. Oh, please, Domino's. Just fucking carte blanche to burn my

pizza. And because I selected that, I'm contractually obligated to... I like my pizza medium rare. Yeah. What's the option after this? Throwed in a trash fire? No, it's trash fire and then well done. Okay. All right,

Dad, you could either go to the basement, the sewer, the T-line, or the Domino's takeout line. One of those places should be safe. But, Dad, I got warn you, you need insurance at Domino's to get in there. I'm sorry, Mr. Domino's. The apocalypse came and I dropped my pizza.

Can I have my $6.99 back, Mr. Domino's? The son farted and wrecked my pizza. Oh, no. And only then, in the face of humanity's end with the Domino's guy like, fucking idiot! No, I will not refund your pizza. I'm not refunding anyone's pizza. The pizza was always good.

It was always good. The first recipe was great. So the government goes on the TV and says there's a solar flare. The world's going to end. Domino's guy still goes to work. He's a trooper. The wings spill. Rain, sleet, snow, or fucking hellfire, dude.

They will make your shit-ass pizza. You watch a little pizza tracker. There's a flame behind it. Oh, it's going to beat it! It's going to beat it! You know what? All you fucking idiots that ordered chicken pizza from Domino's, it's been people.

There. Happy end of the world. His sleeves are on fire. His hair is all gone. He's like, I got it. Okay, he's still coming, I guess. Dude, I'd wait for that pizza. So the plan is we're going to go to the caves,

but Nicholas Cage then realized. is the one thing that the woman, the little girl didn't put on the piece of paper, was the coordinates to the place. But that would be scratched into this door 50 fucking years ago. Like, how does he even think of this?

Because it's like, okay, the world's going to end. What are those GPS coordinates all? I don't know. Fucking Earth. Everywhere. It's all the EE. It's everyone else and everywhere else. It's E.W. Oh, yeah.

So we, like, stop this movie for a second so Nicholas Cage can do some fucking home improvements. He looks like a property brother at this point, actually. He kind of does, yeah. Which one? Adam or the other one? I have no idea.

What's the other one? Dead silence, that's awesome. Yes! Yes! I don't know, Jeff? Sounds right to me. It's me, Jeff Property. Oh, Jonathan, somebody said,

all right, there we go. No, but he drives to this school. Rips this door off the hinges Takes it home And he's like Roseburn's screaming like What are you doing? This is the apocalypse

He's like hang on She's got to get some varnish on this Remove this paint here Ah perfect All the numbers Half a century later They never replaced that door Well that's the

This is the benefit To not lying to someone Because she's like We have to get to the caves You told me the caves Would be fine You shouldn't have never said that Like look

Yeah. We just need to chill out in my apartment. I got all this whiskey. That's what we're doing. If you led with sewers, she would have held back a little bit. Yeah, exactly. All right, maybe we'll look at the door before we go to the sewer. And look, the world's end. We can get the kids drunk, too. Exactly.

So she kidnaps the son at this point. S-O-N. Well, there's a couple of characters in this movie, man. I don't want everybody to be confused. Oh, that Pierce Brosden show? What? Oh, man. It's a secret television show on AMC.

Look at it up. Nobody knows it exists. Oh, it's that Western show. Yeah, yeah. But I thought he meant Pierce Brosden was kidnapping the sun in the sky. Yeah, that's the sequel to the Thomas Crown Affair. That I would watch.

That is a big briefcase he takes out. I'd watch all of the one season of that show. So, yeah, she kidnaps him. She goes to a gas station. This is when they actually have. The government, I don't even know. At this point, government, just keep your mouth quiet. You know what I mean?

Yeah, shut up, government. Just let them burn. Exactly. What is the benefit? It's like, oh, put a cold rag on your head. Or is something. It is an announcement, everybody loot. Eat people, apparently.

Do whatever you want. No, I think it's some humble bragging right here because the guy comes out to make this, like, press announcement. And he's like, well, you know, the president and his family and the whole cabinet, they're safe. Good night, everybody. Something, something, wet rags, it's fine. Find a basement.

We could have told you yesterday, but it took a while for the president's daughter to find her keys. We wanted to make sure they were safe before we told you. Don't worry, I found Ivanka's keys. And we're going to the center of the earth, and I'm going to be president

after you're all dead. They were exactly where I thought they were. Jared was sitting on them. Yeah. I could hear them jingling, and we called Jared jingle balls for a whole week. That's what we did in the bunker.

Stupid, Jared. All of my children are safe except for Dun, Jr. What's a baron? Oh, I guess two of them are not safe. Yes, I chained them to the White House lawn and left them to die like a dog. Sure, Malani is coming.

Sure. Wait, which one? Fuck it, the important thing is the domino's got here on time. We have a secret domino's lap beneath the earth's crust. It's a deep dish crust. That's where they put all the human flesh on my pizza. We saved the fast food

and the college football team to feed it to. the college football team. Whichever. Congratulations, college football team. So, while she's in the gas station, again, she leaves the, again, the apocalypse is outside.

They're alluding, everyone's alluding. And she leaves these kids in the fucking car again so she can get, like, milk or whatever the fuck. And this alien just steals her fucking kids. Well, right before that, though, this is one of the most. confounding parts of this movie. This is 2009.

This little boy knows what a payphone is and uses it properly. He's like, I can't believe this fucking work, Dad, I was kidnapped. Maybe one of the cartoons in the time capsule was a pay phone. How to use a diagram? And

this is when we get like full on cage screaming at Rose Byrne. Oh, fucking finally, dude, like, hour and 45 minutes into this movie. He's like, the caves are fucking bullshit, or whatever he's saying, which is amazing. She's, we're going to have to go to the caves, the caves. And then the kids get stolen.

Right. And then, again, we're in Massachusetts, much like one of Stephen King's trucks kills her. This is outrageous. Like, the screenwriter was like, oh, who did you get to star in this? Oh, Roseburn? Oh, well, I have

a secret vendetta. Give me one minute. I'm going to rewrite this. the apocalypse is mere hours away and he couldn't wait to fucking ice this woman she's driving along chasing this fucking Swedish alien and she gets teaboned by a Mack truck I would like to kill Rose Byrne his big hands are from steer the car

his big human hands that freaked me the fuck out that guy of course it did that's not for children that fucking Muppet with human hands my God

it's so he could like cut the vegetables safely and whatnot some expert puppeteering it's important it's just fucking weird to look at I'm the only

Muppet that can play a guitar I'm sure there was a guitarist and Dr. Teeth's game oh sure Janice's playing guitar I think You know the name?

I know too. I know Dr. Teeth and Janus. You don't know Animal? Oh, an Animal, of course. Excellent drummer. Well, Animal was like more of his solo artist, but he dipped in with him. He had his own thing.

He was like Levant Helm back there. Exactly. Yeah, exactly. There we go. Baldent to Nazareth. So, that was a joke for about three people in this room. And if you got it, you have great taste in music.

See, the cool thing is... Two of them were on stage. This will be broadcasted on the internet later and then three more people will laugh. Hey, the band! That's neat. Yeah, it's the power of the internet. Thank you, internet people. So, you know, Nicholas Cage

just gets to her to watch her die. Yeah, just in time, dude. And, like, I'm kind of surprised they're doing any CPR. Like, again, there's smoldering hills everywhere. And they're like, well, we've got to save this white lady. Fucking bigger fish to fry, exactly.

Fish are frying. The world is scorching itself. So where this lady, this lady put her crack shack out in the middle of right where the apocalypse was going to take place. She wanted a front row seat. That's why she built it there. Crack shack, baby. It's a crack shack. Cooking all your glass, getting high as balls.

It's a crack shack, baby. I don't know why they play that at every wedding. The Crack Shack is a little old place where we can die together. Crack Shack, baby. Hey, they're playing our song. You want to dance, darling? Give me a shout while my teeth fall out. Crack Shack.

It's so horrible. It's a rock omen. So, but he gets to. where this area is and everything's kind of coming together. All these black rocks are there, which are super fucking important. And that's where the aliens are as well.

And it's kind of very obvious, like, oh, it's a boy and a girl. They're going to go with the alien. It's like a Noah's Ark kind of a situation. You know what those kids are going to do, though. Eventually. Dude, these are space perverts. I'm with Eric. You're naive if you don't recognize it. Oh, hi. Did someone say space

pervert? Youhoo. No, I'm with Eric 100% of this. What do they give them rabbits? What do rabbits do? Fuck. That's all they do. Now you just have to watch the rabbits.

Watch what they do. Watch, watch, what? There he goes. But yeah, they're going to, I guess, repopulate humanity on Alpha Centauri or whatever. Or Nintendo 64 or wherever they're going. And Nick Cage is like, oh, room for one more or what?

I eat light I weigh 91 pounds I don't have sideburns there's not much to me look man I'm a scarecrow I eat nothing but hey you don't check any fetish box you're too weird

goodbye but like this movie it is it puts itself at a loss by having these aliens not say a fucking thing exactly like this is the scene

where he just should start talking like, hey man, we've been doing the whole like, you know, telepathic thing this whole time, but listen, you're too old, you have no fucking sideburns, I don't know what you would contribute to this new society. I just don't, I'm sorry.

Or they lie, and they're like, listen, man, we are fucking ass to ankles in this spaceship right now. This is what, this is the truth. We're going to come back for you. Wait, right here. We're going to send another one. It's a pretty big spaceship is all I'm saying.

It's a flying rubber band ball. And this is where we see the aliens in their true form of like invisible people. It's like Dr. Manhattan mixed with a light bulb with wings kind of a thing. It's like the person you see on like Scientology posters. Yeah.

Where it's like, would you like a greater understanding of yourself? And it's just like, wah. It's like a see-through, like jelly person. They call him Johnny Dianetics. Oh, right! I'm Johnny Dianetics. Yeah, Tom Cruise is the only person

who's going to be able to turn into this thing at the end of it all. Boy, would my face be red if that totally happened, though. Can you imagine? He just burst into, like, a jelly person? He'd be very happy with those wings, I think. The invisible wings. It'd be the best thing to happen to that church, man.

I'd sign up. If I saw jelly people walking around... Oh, the jelly people are now, like, integrating themselves into society? Yeah. There's no apocalypse. great, I'm stuck by in a fucking jelly person. He's not going to signal.

Yikes. But how great would it be to not have a face? I think it would rule. I mean, it would be kind of cool, for some of us. On this stage. God damn it, I went to work today. There's a fucking jelly person at the front desk. And so on, that joke.

So, yeah, so the idea is like, sorry, dude, no room at the end. Bye. it is such an awesome fuck you because he's done all this work he's gone to all of these accident sites he circled all of those numbers and nothing and he drank so much

so much drank so much so much yeah like you how do you want to spend your last day it's like eating well reconnecting with your family no I just want to watch other people die for a while Chris fucking break down doors congratulations and eat your name neighbor.

Yeah, that's what, Chris, you definitely sign up for at least watching people die, bare minimum. Also. So they leave. He takes a depression nap in the middle of a field. I don't know what's going on.

Dude, he's sleeping on these stones, man. It's a depression nap. It's in the name. I'm going to resume being a scarecrow. If you're not having a heart attack when you meet the aliens, you're somehow going to sleep? Wouldn't your heart just be outch your chest?

I mean, that's like, that's a problem with movies, man, because not enough people in these science fiction movies are shitting their pants when aliens come down. Like, what is the adult diaper situation in these movies? I can't even believe it. I know I would shit my pants. He gets sprayed with light in the middle of the movie, and he never brings it up.

I'm telling everybody. Well, you know what, fuck that piece of paper. That dude had light coming out of his mouth. It's just a little unbelievable. We need to reassess the whole situation. This huge spaceship, comes down, not a blink. Not a blink.

It would be closer to you get an aneurysm, you get an aneurysm, you get an aneurysm. You're all brain dead. And so he's like, he decides to go back to civilization. He wants to go see his dad, his family one last time. He makes great time, by the way. Like, everyone else is, like, dying and, like, throwing shit. And he's just kind of, like, kind of casually driving through the apocalypse.

He's driving through children of men. Like, it's nothing. whatever and he turns off he's listening to talk radio and everyone's like screaming or whatever it starts to crackle out

he puts on his CD and he goes somebody wants to me the hell was gonna roam me I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed wouldn't it be

might as well be walking on the yeah that's the yeah yes obviously yes

I bet that that bastard wouldn't let you walk on it thought. No, no, no. Just got to look at it. So he gets there just in time. Well, he sees Ben Mendelssohn and they kind of get him like a... He's like waiting for a bus?

What are you doing outside of your house? Just standing on the street. Like, pro tip for the fucking producers of this movie, nobody was thinking about Ben Mendelsso's character. Absolutely fucking no one thought about that character ever again. It's like a death star.

He's looking. He's waiting for an Uber, he's like, well, it said five minutes, five minutes. He's going around the block. What is it doing? The stupid car on fire just goes by. The car icon on the map's just turning in circles.

I don't see that many cars on here. No, honey, I know it's the apocalypse, but it's still cheaper to get the pool. It'll be fine. Man, you are saving two bucks, but what you save in money, you lose in dignity. It's true. Because you You are just riding with strangers talking to them.

No Uber pool for this guy. A little rich boy over here. That would be nice. So Nicholas Cage gets home and his father, the pastor who has been like waiting for the apocalypse the entire life, says, la-di-da, motherfucker. Guess who was right about the end of the world? You got to get some actor.

This is like a nobody. You get somebody. Get like Peter Fawker. under somewhere. Wait, wait, wait, wait. I mean, yes, but what if this dude's like the Prince of Australian acting? Oh, that's true.

He's from, like, the neighbor's dynasty or something? Maybe he's the father of the Hemsworth. Maybe he's like Tony Hemsworth. Oh, Tony Hemsworth, of course. And all of Australia went, Crikey, it's Tony. He's on the big screen.

Obviously, they ask him where his kid is, and he's, oh, he's safe now. That, oh, that's... You know what that fucking means? Everyone thinks you murdered your son. Absolutely. And so what happens is when the world is now ending

your entire family thinks that you fucking murdered your child, it's the last thought they have before being incinerated. I always wanted to know what this would feel like. To be fair, apocalypse rules you're okay.

You have that right as a parent. You make the call like, hey, here's some extra cool Kool-Aid. You know what I mean? Depending on what you want to do. Some families will, some families will. I'm a cool dad. Just drink the poison.

coolate here in the basement don't go out and do the poison collate here but why we're thinking that this is how it comes off is because the sister answers the door and she's like hey man where's Caleb

and he gives that fucking crazy look from Vampire's Kiss and just goes he's safe now and she's like okay but also guess what I'm leading with the aliens, like, oh my God, I met aliens on this trip. And I

shit my fucking pants when I saw them. Light out of the mouth. Holy shit. No, yeah, I saw a spaceship. Well, that's true. He does make it just in time. He tells his pastor, dad, that there's aliens. That dude's thrown fists. Yeah, that's true. Like, don't do this

to me in my moment of Jesus. All right, sorry, angels. They were angels. That's better. His last words are, what did you fucking say? And they have this big, like, family group hug. I renounced science in all of its name. He does, though, because the dad goes,

this isn't the end, son. And he goes, I know. Ing. And then it's just... He said it. Great destruction scenes. We get to see New York City blow up. Oh, yeah, just right in flame.

And they are outdoing Independence Day, by the way. Yes. It's all fine. Burroughs. This is kind of a recommend for me. Oh, fuck. Eric. It's dumb, but, you.

We get, the final scene is this weird, like, I don't even know this fake bullshit cornfield where these kids are, and their rabbits. Get out of my field. Oh, wait, no, it's a different planet now. And the aliens, I guess, are leaving them. And, like, the idea is, I think, other kids from other parts of the world are there,

but you don't see them, so it just looks like a white alien ethno state. Like, especially with these blonde motherfuckers picking these kids. They're going to start killing the other kids, too, you know? So it will be eventually. But like, here's the biggest question of the movie, man. Why do these aliens give a shit in the first place?

Great question. Who cares? I think it's a practical joke. I think they took these kids and they put them on another planet that's going to blow up tomorrow. Oh, yeah, yeah. Repopulate the world.

Yeah, I'll see you later. Yeah, there's food. No, no, bring your rabbits. Bring all your rabbits. Oh, yeah, by the way, Nicholas Cage, you can't come. It'd be kind of great if everyone, they do show the rest of the kids and everyone else brought their parents.

What the fuck? Hold on. What the fuck? Oh, that's bullshit. That's your gym coach. You got to bring him? It was because of the gun thing. We don't think that in hair pieces.

Oh, shit, that makes so much sense. Yeah, we thought he was a cyborg because of that weird thing on his head. The learning computer. So they, like, fucking skip off towards the tree of life or whatever, man. And that's the end of this movie. Yeah.

Now, I mean, Eric already let it slip, but Steve Zadak, would you recommend this movie? If it was 20 minutes shorter, yeah. You know what I mean? There's a lot of, like, let's talk about my mom who doesn't even matter in this movie kind of a thing. It's fun. It is a great apocalypse at the end there.

But it takes a little long to get there. It's a no. It's a soft no. Eric's already a hard yes. Yes, I'm a very stiff yes. Okay. Uh-huh. Chris Cabin.

Get the fuck out of here. No. Don't watch this. What are you? Fucking like in an Alex Proyo's movie. What the... Holy shit. Well, I like Dark City, too.

They made a Dark City, too? Yes. Coming this summer, Dark City, too. It's Dark City, but bad. It's just a big screen version of Keep the Sutherland running into that Christmas tree again. Oh, that I'd go see in my next. You're kidding me?

No, I wouldn't recommend this movie, man. Life's too short. The aliens could fucking take us at any time. God willing. So we have to start wrapping up, unfortunately. We want to thank you guys for coming out. Give yourselves a round of applause. Thank you guys.

This has been a really fantastic way to kick off the East Cage tour. So thank you all for coming out. But as tradition, here on the Wehey Movies live shows. We like to read a little internet correspondence before signing off

because, you know, sometimes the internet is the best place to find information and opinions. They know that. They're internet people. Uh-huh.

All right, you guys use the internet. Webheads. So... Ew, man. I'm your grandfathers. All of them combined. Oh, ew. Like a jelly person.

And for those of you who are maybe seeing us for the first time or were dragged here on an awkward first date or something, first of all, apologies. Yes. For all of that. Thank you for being good sports. But what we're about to do is read a IMDB user review. Because why pay film critics

when any fucking moron can write a review on the internet? It's damn true. Or start a podcast. Also that. Follow your dream. everybody. Subject line of this one. This is one excellent imaginative movie.

Wait for it. Which could happen. Can you prove it can't, though? He's got you there? Yeah, no. You're dead to rights, dude. But here's something, 10 out of 10 stars. Oh, wow, that's a lot of stars.

That's all the stars. I'm going to give this movie all the stars. Don't let Nicholas Cage's name on the marquee scare you away. This is the director of the Crow and Dark City given free reign. And it is amazing, assuming you accept a revelation about two-thirds of the way in. Yeah, that's right. Don't sound so defeated about it. That's true.

Don't accept that shit. The ambition here is pretty staggering by the end. Having just seen this... By the way, this is written in 2011, so two years late to the party, fuck face. I saw this in theaters like a real fan. Did you see it with them? I wish.

Having just seen this, I predict viewers of it will fall into two camps. Unabashed love... And smart people. An extreme dislike. Same thing. Yeah, sure. Does anybody want to guess where this dude falls?

I fall into the unabashed love category. And absolutely did not expect to going in. My brother Doug felt the same way. Hey, Doug, what do you think? Yeah, it was all right. Doug, I'm writing the review. Give it ten stars, dude. Five for you and five for me.

We're the star brothers. I think Cage actually gives a good performance. What a Doug think. And feel like most of the criticism on his part is either residual from other aspects of the movie people don't like. Or just bandwag. and stuff that he admittedly wrought upon himself

with multiple disasters. Such as Neil Lebutz, Wicker Man. We are WeA. Movies from New York City, everybody. Thank you, everybody. Thank you so much for coming out, Boston. We'll see you next time. Bye-bye. Bye-bye.

That was a hate gum podcast.