We Hate Movies - The Nexus 31 - "Distant Voices" / "Genesis" (CLIP)

Episode Date: March 29, 2019

On this month's Patreon-listener-requested episode, the gang chats about two episodes of Star Trek, one from Deep Space Nine and another from their beloved Next Generation, both of which are incredibly weird in their own ways! First up, on DS9, it's "Distant Voices," which originally aired April 10th, 1995. It features exciting elements like—WHOA! This episode is for subscribers only! To access the full show, head on over to our Patreon and subscribe today! Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This is my friend Al Tavana. Hello, nice to meet you, Altamette. He wants to score some fucking horse. What's a, what's a read on that? And by horse, I of course mean biomimetic gel. Oh, ew. Biomatic gel. A gel kind of creeps me out, man.

You take some of the gel, you put it on your balls, and you get high for days. But sure, you know what it's for, it's for smearing. You know, even asking me for a smear of biomedickel gel is a felony. We will be put to death. I know what you're doing, Quark. It's me, Odo. I'm the cop on this station. Constable, please.

Now, Bashir, no, seriously, just come on. Just give me a part of your script pad. I'll go to the pharmacy. I need you to take one of the blankies off your pad and give it to me. You have the glue on those things. It wears off all the time. It could just fall off. You're dropping him in the hallway left and right.

If anyone asks questions, I ain't get from you, man. Hey, man, can you help me out, man? It's your biometric jail, dude. I don't want to get it off the street. It's going to be fucking cut with Romulan fucking eyebrows, dude. That's going to make me all fucked up for months. You don't want me. to have a bad high

to you? Well, do you? I just want the good stuff from you, me. Look, I'm trying to go to the doctor. And also, it's not for me. It's for my Lithian friend. And if he doesn't have it,

he's going to start freaking out, man. He could she just stop looking at the fingernails in my face, please? It's really, really annoying when you do that. This guy, the Lithian, looks like fucking Toka. Whichever one was the rep, the fucking snapping turtle from Toka and Razar. You're talking about Teenage Mutia Ninja Turtles 2, colon, the secret of the use. And he's like, I need this drug.

By the way, I'm very bad at buying drugs. I'm like, dude, also we're in the cafeteria, so certainly I would never give you biometric. Jell, meet me in my office in 15. It's such a bad, like there are ways to cock. up a drug deal and then there's this dude first of all you sit down and you start talking about something else for a little bit exactly you ask Bashir about like how his hollow sweet tennis is going or some shit your mother needs to smear it over something a sad story exactly oh something something space cancer my mother's sacks her cancer rated she really needs to

dip it in this gel so understand so Bashir's like no go on the biometric Joe because they really fucked up and like it's this weird thing where like Quark has to turn to it was like well he said no it's like this like like I told you my buddy had I thought he's going to help you out and he can't

help you out and then it's great because the dude kind of like storms away and Quark's left standing there awkwardly and he's like uh did I mention there's some new food items you can get it at the bar and they're like fuck off you weird forangy pervert

you're giving me gene therapy next to this guy with his fucking dick problem Yeah and then motherfuckers are bringing in animals That I could not believe Data walks in and he's like A spot is due to give birth Any day now And I was like

So you're doctors for people and animals I mean if you're doing people and clingons You might as well get a cat in there too Is someone bringing a horse into sick pain? Absolutely Arrow Beverly my horse is sick We should bring up Spott because... Yes.

How did this cat get pregnant? Because later in the episode, so, you know, data has to go... Data is fully functional. He's fully functional. No, man. Dude, he could morph his dick into like a cat dick. Data says exactly how it happened. There's exactly 12 male felines on the spaceship and Scott gets out at night.

Mr. Data to the bridge. Mr. Data to the... Cats are fucking on my... Space ship. You know what, Mr. Data? This is the bridge of a galaxy class Starship. It's not the back alley behind a fucking porno theater.

I'm just picturing like Picard trying to go to sleep and I'm like, ah, yes, now to get some shot at eye. And there's just like in the hallway. All these cats like fucking and fighting. Am I in a tenement in the Bronx?

Can we get rid of these cats, please? He's just got a big bucket with all the kittens and he brings it into his room fucking rolls up his sleeves draws a bath it's time to get to work here one

two three drowned kitties oh lord no he's like walking to work in the morning and it's like all the fucking carpeting in the hallways like ripped up

and like jizzed on and bloodied someone someone did not clean you keep that little box near engineering, but someone needs to clean that thing. Look, if I come down here one more time, and this kitty litter is filled to the brim with shit!

I'm going to throw that cat right into a fucking warp bomb, mister. I saw a cat this morning who looked, he gave me a devilish look like a heathcliff, and he held up a giant skeleton of a fish. You know, this goddamn cat keeps asking me for lasagna, and I'm going to kick him out the airlock. You know what, Mr. Dato, if I come down here one more time and I get harassed by the fucking junkyard gang! But this is no way to run a spaceship.

Cats are just openly fucking on it? You cannot have this. Thirteen. I like the sight.