We Study Billionaires - The Investor’s Podcast Network - TIP785: My Reflections on Money, Life, and Happiness w/ Stig Brodersen
Episode Date: January 18, 2026In this episode, Stig Brodersen shares personal reflections on money, life, and happiness. He explores how money magnifies who we already are, why lifestyle creep can quietly erode happiness, and how ...growing wealth may change relationships. IN THIS EPISODE YOU’LL LEARN: 00:00:00 - Intro 00:01:13 - Why money magnifies who you are 00:02:42 - How to think about lifestyle creeps and incremental happiness 00:10:02 - Why you shouldn’t try to change others 00:14:47 - Why you should be around people who play cricket 00:22:58 - Why you can have anything but not everything 00:27:29 - Why you should lean into your unfair advantage 00:32:12 - Some welcome and uncoming surprises of wealth 00:50:25 - Why you should be useful Disclaimer: Slight discrepancies in the timestamps may occur due to podcast platform differences. BOOKS AND RESOURCES Join the exclusive TIP Mastermind Community to engage in meaningful stock investing discussions with Stig, Clay, Kyle, and the other community members. Learn how to join us in Omaha for the Berkshire meeting here. Stig’s blog post on his portfolio and track record since 2014. Stig’s podcast episode on his journey into financial independence. Stig’s podcast episode on his advice to his 20-year old self. Related books mentioned in the podcast. Ad-free episodes on our Premium Feed. NEW TO THE SHOW? Get smarter about valuing businesses in just a few minutes each week through our newsletter, The Intrinsic Value Newsletter. Check out our We Study Billionaires Starter Packs. Follow our official social media accounts: X (Twitter) | LinkedIn | Facebook. Browse through all our episodes (complete with transcripts) here. Try our tool for picking stock winners and managing our portfolios: TIP Finance Tool. Enjoy exclusive perks from our favorite Apps and Services. Learn how to better start, manage, and grow your business with the best business podcasts. SPONSORS Support our free podcast by supporting our sponsors: HardBlock Human Rights Foundation Simple Mining Netsuite Shopify Plus500 Vanta Masterworks Fundrise References to any third-party products, services, or advertisers do not constitute endorsements, and The Investors Podcast Network is not responsible for any claims made by them. Support our show by becoming a premium member! https://theinvestorspodcastnetwork.supportingcast.fm Support our show by becoming a premium member! https://theinvestorspodcastnetwork.supportingcast.fm Support our show by becoming a premium member! https://theinvestorspodcastnetwork.supportingcast.fm Support our show by becoming a premium member! https://theinvestorspodcastnetwork.supportingcast.fm Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Support our show by becoming a premium member! https://theinvestorspodcastnetwork.supportingcast.fm
Transcript
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You're listening to TIP.
I decided to call this episode Reflections on Money, Life and Happiness.
The word reflection seems most feeling to hit the right tone.
They're not commandments, not frameworks cut in stone, and certainly not universal truths.
They're simply observations, things I've noticed, and patterns I keep bumping into.
Money, life and happiness are strangely intertwined.
My reflections are admittedly anecdotal.
That is the premise of this episode.
They might apply to you or they might not.
I'm still learning, still adjusting, and still getting a lot of things wrong.
But if any of these reflections help you at the margins, even a little, then it's well
worth our time together today.
Since 2014 and through more than 180 million downloads, we've studied the financial markets
and read the books that influence self-made billionaires the most.
We keep you informed and prepared for the unexpected.
Now for your host, Stake Broderson.
Welcome to The Investors' podcast.
I'm your host, Dick Broderson, and let's jump right to the first reflection of the intersection
between money, life and happiness.
Number one, money magnifies who you are.
Today, when I look at my group of friends, their financial wealth spans a wide range.
Some can barely make ends meet.
whereas others have more money that they could ever use in multiple lifetimes.
And most are somewhere in between.
For those of us who are in between, and even more so for those who can afford anything in the
wireless dreams, I found that incremental happiness is the best.
And so what do I mean by that?
Well, let me use a metaphor here about traveling, and you can replace that with any type
of consumption good.
If you fly economy and you suddenly get wealthy, don't fly private right away.
if you want to optimize for your happiness. Get excited about upgrading to economy premium,
get accustomed to that, then get excited about flying business class, then get excited about that,
and then whenever it wears off fly first. And after that, perhaps you can get excited about flying
private. Wait, you say, there are some, at least two fundamental problems with that.
The first is that very few people suddenly get a windfall and can go directly from economies of flying private.
The other thing you notice is if you should metaphorically fly private in the first place,
hence whether increasing your consumption is a game you can't win and therefore shouldn't play
in the first place.
Lifestyle creep is difficult to resist.
It doesn't look like a big decision.
It looks like a series of small upgrades that feel harmless.
But if you're going to let your lifestyle cost increase, I encourage you to do it slowly and
intentionally.
Small graduate changes tend to give you the most satisfaction per dollar because you're not
numbing yourself with too much too fast. But the problem, of course, and the benefits of nice
things is that they are, well, nice. And of course, if you can avoid lifestyle creeps altogether,
you can argue that it might even be better. But most of us are human. So once you cover your
need-to-haves and start on your nice-to-haves, be deliberate about doing it slowly.
Regardless, I've found that money tends to magnify who you are. Some of our friends are kind,
and with money they're even kinder than before.
And then some of my quintuances and I say quintuses and not friends here,
they're jerks.
And now with money, the jerk genius on steroids.
My past as a poker player has taught me important lessons about biases.
Most poker players think by definition that they're great players.
They will look you straight in the eye and tell you that if they win,
it's because they're playing great.
And when they lose, which they're inevitable will,
it's only because they're unlucky.
Now, let me tell you, all Pogo players play horribly at times.
Let's say they play their C game.
Now, also, all Pogo players have times whenever they play great.
Let's call it their A game.
What poker players mistake is that they compare their A game with other C game.
So of course, they always find a reason to believe that they're way better poker players
than they probably in reality are.
And I've carried those learnings into other walks of life too.
I see the same things and how we pass judgment on others.
We all have chapters we would rather leave unpublished.
And we shouldn't judge a person on their highest high or the lowest low.
Most of us spend 99.9% of our lives somewhere in between.
So be kind to yourself and be kind to others.
The person you speak to might be playing his sea game.
And you've been that and you've done that too.
And if money magnifies who you are, it naturally sparks the question of how you can spend
your money on being the best version of yourself.
And of course, this is easier said than done.
And one approach I would recommend to you is to spend your money on how to avoid being
a bad version of yourself.
And I hesitated to use this example because I know I speak from a position of comfort.
So please take the following example literally or metaphorically, whatever best of example.
applies to you, really. Now, I work from home today and I live in the north where you don't
see the sun past 3.30 in the wintertime. And so, whenever I had an office job, there were simply
days whenever I did not see any daylight at all. And I left in the dark and I returned in the dark
and it wore more on me that I'd like to admit. Now my calendar is open and I make sure to spend
time outside, but it's still light, every single day of the year. But I recognize this may not
apply to you. You may enjoy the office, have no choice in the matter, or simply not care whether
the sun is out or not. But my point is that it's hard to go to the counter of your local
store and ask for $100 worth of happiness. The world just isn't that kind. An investment with a
higher expected return is to ensure you are less frequently a bad version of yourself.
And it might look boring on Instagram, but it makes a big difference in real life.
A slightly more expensive condo with natural light.
Perhaps a slightly nicer gym close enough that you actually use it?
I don't know.
None of those things will likely make you happy in the moment.
But if you think about your triggers that might cause you to become short-tempered,
presentful or numb, and money can help you avoid that,
well, perhaps you want to magnify the version of yourself who has slept, seen the sun,
and isn't running on fumes.
Reflection number two, I decided to call it grow rich, grow kinder.
Now, power and money are not the same, but they tend to walk hand in hand.
And one of the surprising problems that comes with having more of both is that you can
suddenly afford to be more honest than before.
Remember when you started your first job at the bottom wrong of the latter, laughing nervously
at your boss's bad yokes?
I certainly can.
Fast forward and you might be the one in the position of power.
Perhaps now you're the employer speaking an employee or job candidate, or perhaps you're in a group
of friends where you unintentionally steer every decision where to eat, what to do, simply because
no one wants to be the one who disagrees. Think of any situation where you, for whatever formal
or informal reason, are ranked the highest. We are taught that honesty is always the best approach,
but many of us don't live that way. And I want to say, for good reason, honesty works in
theory. It's much harder in practice. So why does some of the most successful people in the world
talk about honesty as a rule to live by? Now, I think that there's a strong degree of selection bias.
The written powerful are often in situations where they can afford to be honest. If they don't get
their way and you happen to be the reason why, it's more your problem than theirs. You know that
and they know that. Now, don't get me wrong, honesty is a great rule to live by.
But just as a good chess player knows it's usually wise to trade his pawn for a bishop,
he also knows the rare moments when he shouldn't.
So when you find yourself in a position of power and people begin laughing at your jokes
and let's be honest, you're not always as fun as you think you are.
Make sure you're kind.
The richer you get, the easier it becomes to be, well, honest and the harder it becomes
to be kind.
Not long ago, I believe honesty could always be managed if you delivered with care.
Be direct, but saying kindly.
That was the rule I tried to live by.
Then I ran into a situation that challenged it.
I spoke with a member of a mastermind community
who volunteers to sit next to people in the final hours,
men and women who have no one else to sit beside them,
and I asked whether she would lie
if a small untruth would give someone peace
as they took their final breath.
And she said yes, right away.
No hesitation.
What a great example of neat principles around honesty,
not always standing up to compassion.
And you might say, rightly so,
that this is an extreme example,
and I do understand where you're coming from.
But my point is that as your influence grows,
and keep in mind that I'm not necessarily talking about money
and professional success here,
but as your success slowly grows,
you may not notice how your interactions with others change.
And my suggestion to you is that you default to become nicer
than you otherwise find it natural to be.
Seriously, every year,
Make sure to be even nicer than the previous year.
And I have to say, for many, it's like walking up or an escalator going down.
You end up where you started, even though you feel like you've been in motion.
So don't be a jerk just because you can.
Be kind and compassionate, just because you can.
Now, so does that mean that you should tell your jerk acquaintances to be kind and compassionate?
In my experience, no.
And that takes me to the next point.
The only one who wants to be changed is a wet baby.
Okay, so whenever I was younger, I assumed that if something worked for me, it ought to work for everyone else.
It took me far too long to understand that people carried different stories, different wounds, and different priorities.
And that all of these invisible threats quietly pulled them toward different conclusions about how they want to live.
With age, I learned a subtler truth.
Yes, some people are really more enlightened and more.
involved, but a different opinion isn't by itself evidence of lower ground.
And navigating that distinction is delicate.
It would be too easy to say that people don't want to change.
People do change, but they do not change because you want them to, and certainly not
at the tempo you find convenient.
Now, you might have this friend who would do weird crypto trades, and you want to teach
them the gospel of value investing.
But how appealing is it to a new investor who just made, I don't know, 10,000.
next in a week on Leverage Crypto, whenever you tell them, there's this company called Berkshire
Heatherway and you get 10% annual return over the next 30 years. You tell him that compounding is the
eighth wonder of the world, and he looks at you like you're speaking in foreign language. For most
people, change isn't a thing you can hand to them? At best, you can stand nearby with a lantern,
ready to show the path when they finally decide to walk it. This, of course, is much easier said than done.
Other people are just as excited to learn that you think that they're wrong as you're as excited
to be told that you're wrong.
And as a result, sometimes we push people toward what we define as better behavior with different
nudges, as if the human mind was a thermostat that could be adjusted by enough pressure.
And one of my favorite examples of how difficult this is, is this SEC rule requiring
public companies to disclose their CEO to media employee pay ratio.
The idea, of course, was that this daylight here would shame executives to restrain.
After all, what CEO want to see a ratio of 200 to 1 in print?
Did it work?
Did CEOs truly feel ashamed about making a lot of money?
No.
It failed as predictably as the 2006 rules that force companies to disclose executive pay in the proxy
statements.
No CEO opens his proxy, see that he earns 200 times as much.
at the average employee in things,
ah, yes, clearly the board must reduce my pay.
That is just not how the CEO species operate.
The real thought is somewhat closer to,
I wonder what other peers at comparable companies are making,
and whatever it is, I deserve more,
because I am better than average.
Now, you might object that half of the CEOs in the S&P 500
must by definition be worse than the average
and should therefore be paid less than average. A fair point. But that is not the psychology of power.
No one climbs the corporate ladder by believing he's worse than the average, especially not at
the one thing he prized himself to be very good on, being the CEO. And this is not a modern
phenomenon. You know, George Washington Hill, president of the American Tobacco Company, was paid more
than a million dollars in 1930, a fortune. Perhaps he wants to imagine that a million dollars would
make him never want another race? Ah, I doubt it. Humans are built to desire things others do not have.
Man once believed that if he owned a car, he would never want for more. If anyone truly thought that,
it was only because almost no one else at the time had a car. People sometimes say the same
about flying private. If I could do that, I'd never need nothing else. But that, too, is a fantasy
the owner by those who don't have a private yet, yet. As soon as everyone has one, we would want
too. So where does this leave us? Human nature has never been particularly responsive to not just
dressed up as moral lessons. So I'll come to see it more simply if you like. You hold your
values quietly and consistently. While people change, they don't change fast, never the page you want
them to. If you don't accept that everyone else is running on their own internal clock,
shaped by experiences you will never fully see,
you'll be banging your head against the wall.
If and when they finally change,
it's because something inside them finally shifts,
not because you arrange the state lighting,
just right for them.
Reflection number four,
surround yourself with people to play cricket.
Now, one common piece of advice here is that
you're the average of the five people you surround yourself with.
When I heard that more than a decade ago,
I thought it was all an exercise in hanging out
rich and successful people, and then having something, whatever that something was, rub off
on me and help me rise through the ranks. Today, I look at it a little differently. Now,
don't get me wrong. The advice is still very solid that you should just surround yourself
with people better than you, but I learned that there was some nuance to it that I didn't know
the first time I stumbled on the principle. When I think better, I'm thinking of people with values
and life philosophies you want to make your own. Let's take a quick break and hear from today's
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Let me play this clip with my friend Guy Spear. Notice the concept of, it's just not cricket.
They'll take you into even a more esoteric sport. And the famous phrase is, well, that's just not
cricket and this idea that there are rules that are behind the rules. And so the rulebook doesn't
cover it all. There's plenty more and there's a kind of a shared understanding of what this game is
supposed to be about and that should modulate your behavior. And in a way, I mean,
that's just not cricket. And it sort of come to things that you don't do even though they're not
in the rulebook. It comes down to understanding it perhaps that people in that game,
not playing to win, they're playing to win that game. They're playing to win the infinite game,
which is the game of continuing the relationship with these people and making them like you and
want to play another game with you and displaying your personality as being willing to take the
win when it's acceptable to take the win, but also being willing to stand back and not push your
advantage to the very limit because it would be kind of not right to do so. And actually, I just feel
compelled to say it. I think that I don't know if you're following this.
women's boxing at the Olympics. And if you take a very, very narrow reading of the rules as
the Olympic International, so there's this a man-Khalif woman, and I think that she is now in the
finals with another person with X, Y chromosomes, which are kind of male chromosomes, if you read
clearly according to the rulebook that the International Olympic Committee has written on how
you define female and male and what allows somebody to compete as a female, they meet the
criteria, period, end of story. But there's, when you see these boxing matches between
somebody who's an X, Y, chromosome, which is effectively a functional male versus an XX
chromosome, which is a female, what you see is, even if they're labeled female, that you see
a man punching a woman and it offends that basic sense of decency. And that would be an example of
that's just not cricket. It's what the British would say.
I think the concept of it's just not cricket is so powerful and can be applied to so many
walks of life. One of the things I love in business and in life is empowering other people
to help them for the sake of helping them. And I learned that the best approach is not to expect
anything in return. It's wonderful if it happens, but if it doesn't, being useful is the reward
in itself.
Now, TAP has helped many asset managers on and off the show raise capital for the funds,
and it's generally been a good experience.
But then, not too long ago, we learned that one of the asset managers we had helped
has tried to post a team member from TAP.
And going back to Guy Spears' wonderful example here, there's nothing illegal about posting
someone from a small company that's helping you and expecting nothing in return.
And apparently, in modern boxing, you have instances when functional males can punch women
and win medals, but it's just not cricket.
And this individual is, for all intents and purposes, very successful, but perhaps you don't
want to be surrounded by someone like him.
And of course, you don't have to be too hard on them.
People have different lives experiences and all their own reasons for doing so.
Wisdom well, mean it, and then don't look back.
Rather, surround yourself with people who play cricket.
People have beautiful values and believe someone else doesn't have to lose for them to win.
Reflection number five.
You can have anything, but not everything.
A decade ago, I was ambitious and my drive for success was much higher than today.
I read book after book about Silicon Valley, and the idea of being a serial entrepreneur
really resonated with me.
And as the years went by and we became more successful, more potential buyers approached
to our company, and I would sometimes dream about what kind of valuation we could get.
Now, I read this book about Spotify called Play, and it really struck a court with me in the
situation I was in at the time, just on a, of course, a much smaller scale, but the decision was the
same. At some point, Daniel Egg, the co-founder and CEO of Spotify, had the opportunity to go big.
And to do that, he would oust the old guard and bring in music setups from the big labels.
And when he did that, the culture radically changed, but the bottom line went up until the right.
And I felt I was at a similar crossroads.
TAP could at the time go much bigger than one or two.
Again, not Spotify, big by any means, but something that's called it meaningful.
You know, we were roughly at a $30 million valuation at the time,
but I could easily see us at another zero and who knows, even more,
whenever I was daydreaming of what would happen if we doubled down.
But, and this is a big one, it would require a different team and a different culture.
Not a better team and a better culture,
but it would be very different.
I was thinking a lot about Jeff Bezos
and his regret minimization framework at the time.
Would I regret not taking my shot at going back?
And of course, the regret minimization framework
works both ways,
and the decision was essentially very easy.
I would regret pouting ways with wonderful people
much more than missing out on the search for money I didn't need.
Now, Jeff Bezos and Daniel Eck
thought about it in the same way
and came to a different conclusion than I did.
Regret minimization doesn't mean that you have to go big and change the world.
Yes, the world belongs to the discontented, but sometimes happiness may lie with the contendant.
Business is essentially a bundle of relationships with all of your stakeholders.
Successful business owners handle the relationships well.
It's different than with friends and romantic relationships, but the principle, I would argue,
is the same.
I have a wonderful friend.
Now, his religious and spiritual beliefs are different from mine, and he never missed
is an opportunity to tell me that I would live a better life if I believed in what he did.
And I sort of try to avoid the topic, but he always finds a way to tell me that, you know,
he has seen the light and I haven't. And who knows, he might be right.
But my part is that he has a trait that isn't my favorite, just as I'm sure I have a
trade that bothers him. And ultimately, our differences are not a big deal. He is a wonderful
friend. And I learned that you can have anything, but not everything.
in business as well as in life.
And I would be very sad to go through life
without such a wonderful friend.
And we live in a time where we're used to getting
everything customized to us.
So whenever I would go on YouTube,
I get served content, the algorithm things
I would want to watch.
And if I get bored after 10 seconds,
I can jump to another video
that promised me eternal youth,
ultimate riches,
or whatever the YouTube deities
are promising us these days.
Now, I don't think the algorithms are making us happier.
They tell us that we can have everything we desire, but we can't.
We may be able to get anything, but we certainly won't be able to get everything.
And I was not surprised to learn recently that singlehood is on the rise throughout the developed world.
Among Americans age 25 to 34, the proportion of living without a spouse or a partner has doubled over the past five decades to 50% for men and 41% for women.
Now, how can you find a spouse who is customized exactly to your needs, who looks exactly the way
you want them to, who has the education and wealth you want them to have?
And of course, if you don't feel it's perfectly customized to you, when you want it,
you can always swipe, not good enough.
People don't work that way.
We're all imperfect, and while everyone can get a wonderful spouse and a terrific friend,
in life as in business, you can get, you guessed it, I've said it more than once, anything
but not everything.
and the sooner you realize that the happier you'll be.
Trust me, I speak from better experience.
Reflection number six.
What is your unfair advantage?
In business, investing in life, you tilt your odds in your favor
if you lean into your unfair advantages.
One of our salespeople would buy tickets to podcast conferences.
Or I should say, he's not buying the actual ticket to the event.
He flies to the event, chats up people in the lobby, and just starts networking.
What an unfair advantage to have, and the reason why he's such a great salesman.
Another example, a friend of mine buys and flips houses.
His wife is a veteran, so they can buy a primary residence with no money down.
His father-in-law is a contractor who can get materials like cost, and together they're
quite handy, and they can do a lot of the renovation themselves.
And once they live there for two years, they can sell and pay no taxes on the gain.
In the game of capitalism, my friend has an unfair advantage.
Of course, not unfair in the sense that I begrudge people who serve their country and getting privileges,
but unfair in the sense that if you don't have any of those advantages, it's just harder to compete.
It's like playing football and simply being faster than your opponents.
You need to be able to do a lot of things right to compete with someone who has advantages you don't have.
It's not impossible to win against unfair advantages, nor is an unfair advantage of success.
But the latter is a good place to start looking.
Now, I don't think you need to spend many minutes with me before you see my shortcomings.
If I began listing them, we will never end this episode.
For starters, I can't lean into my expertise and, I don't know, semiconductors or cryptography.
It's essentially nonexistent.
And don't get me started on my fear of rejection.
But there are a few, very few things where I may have an unfair advantage.
For many people, you know, money burns a hole in their pocket.
and they never seem to have enough to buy with the want.
I like to save and hopefully to gradually work with self down to owner spending 10% of my income.
You can say that it's an unfair advantage to be wired that way, so as in building my portfolio,
I need to lead into that.
For example, if you spend within your means, you're not the whims of Mr. Margaret as you
would if you live above your means, which makes portfolio decisions that much harder.
Now, I don't know what your unfair advantage is.
Many of the best businesses were built on unfair advantages.
Bill Gates had access to a computer at unlimited programming time
where almost no one else in the world had.
And it was easy for him, but not for others to stay focused and programmed for days on end.
He would literally fall asleep while coding, wake up and continue coding where he left off.
It was just one of his many unfair advantages.
Or take Jeff Bezos, people often credit him with superhuman discipline or extraordinary foresight,
But one of his earliest unfair advantages was simply how his mind is wired.
He had an unusually long time horizon, almost unnaturally so.
Bezos funded this wonderful 10,000-year-clock buried inside a mountain in Texas.
It's designed to tick once a year, and it has a so-called century hand that moves,
you guessed it, once a century.
Yes, there is a reason why Bezos famously said that he's surprised when people congratulate him
on a good quarter because that quarter has been planned years in advance.
And it leads me to another reflection I want to share with you.
If one side of the coin is to seek out situation where you hold an unfair advantage,
the other side is knowing when you don't,
and having the discipline to cap your downside.
In investing, I could tell you to stay within your circle of competence,
but I found the same applies to my interactions with people.
For most of my life, I was terrified of people seeing me at my worst.
And I'm not past that, certainly not fully.
But one of the quiet secrets of adulthood, at least for me, has been learning to tell people
when I'm not at my best, to name it before it shows up in some awkward, unhelpful way.
Not too long ago, I knew I was meeting a friend of my co-host, William and Kyle,
and I wanted to make a good first impression, but I also knew that the setting, a dinner party,
just isn't my scene.
So I asked him if we can jump on a call before meeting in person, because I knew the version
of me he would meet just wouldn't be that good. And the funny thing, when you're honest about
your limits, people are almost always kinder and more understanding than you expect. Think about it.
When was the last time someone told you that they were having a bad day and your reaction was,
great, let's make it even worse. It doesn't happen. Instead, you soften. You see the interaction
through a different lens. Sometimes people you speak with are not as kind or they don't seem as
present as you had hoped for, but you can brush past there quickly because you had
plenty of days where you just weren't the best version of yourself either.
And that takes me to the seventh reflection.
Welcome surprises of growing wealth.
And I have to say that it's with great hesitation that I included this segment in the episode.
And, you know, I think this is such a challenging thing to discuss because you all have
such specific expectations and definition of what a good life should look like. And I'm also mindful
of the fact that it might sound boastful, as in, oh, you have money, so let's hear how perfect
your life is because of that. And I hope it doesn't come across as that. And don't worry,
the subsequent segment will all be about the unwelcome surprises of growing wealth. So, you know,
there are plenty. But I've found that happiness is Resol's minds' expectations. And it's one of the
reasons why you find these wonderful Buddhist monks to be quite happy. They train to have low expectations.
And I have to say that until it turned 30, I always had someone in my life. I didn't really like
and took up more space than I wanted them to have. And it basically bowed down to one thing.
I was put together with people I didn't want to be with. And in school, there was always someone,
You know, not as in I hope the worst for you and your future kids dislike, but someone I just
prefer not to be a part of my life.
Sometimes it was something they said to me, but most often it was just like oil and water.
It's just, I wasn't sure why, but we just didn't, well, click.
And of course, in school, you really can't do much about it.
In elementary school, you're together with fellow pupils because you happen to live
with the same zip code.
And even in college, while you might have some interests, you know, in the same courses, it
doesn't guarantee you have much in common or that you like each other. And of course, after I graduated,
I had different jobs with the same issues. Some coworkers were just nicer to be around than others.
Now, running the Amasters Podcast Network, I only work with people I like. And I don't pretend
that everyone on our 20-person team is the best friend I ever had, but I don't work together
with people I dislike. And whenever you add to that that I don't have a commute, I cannot begin to
explain how much it has done for my mental well-being and how often I avoid being a bad version of
myself because I chose the people I spent time with. And so, you know, whenever I was younger,
I looked at business owners as people who were never off the clock and perhaps I even sometimes
felt sorry for them. But I didn't question a life where you were frequently around people you
didn't like. I never tried anything different. So how would I know? And today I don't want to
of the clock, I'm yet to need a break from being with awesome people who want to build awesome
things. They say that a man has two lives. The second one starts when he realizes he only
has one. And this might be the midlife crisis talking, but when I realized how much it meant to my
happiness or lack thereof to spend time with who I like for as long as I like and where I like,
you know, working with the right people became even more important. I sometimes read books and listen to
podcast about the sacrifices people who work all the time make. They're constantly sacrificing
friends and family whenever they're working and vice versa. And if you work with the right
people in the right way, it might feel less like a tradeoff and more like a blessing where you
can have your cake and eat it too. And of course, the best things in life aren't things.
It's typically your relationship with people for better or worse that determine whether you're
happy or not. But money buys you time and flexibility.
spend your time with the people you want to spend time with. And with all of that being said,
I sometimes feel lonely, especially before I met my wife. I felt more lonely than I care to admit.
And I think one of the reasons was that I just didn't know many people who were on the same wavelength
as me. But then, of course, powered by the internet, I today know hundreds of people who are,
but few of them are in my proximity. So I have to go to Omaha around the world to meet people
people who are as passionate about value investing as I am, and take it for what it is, but money
makes that possible. And you don't need an obscene amount of money to travel the world and meet
kindred spirits, but I just found that a regular average paycheck and two weeks vacation simply
wouldn't allow me to do that. And growing up, I didn't appreciate how important it was to find
these kindred spirits. Sure, I liked watching movies, playing football, and hanging out with my friends.
but meeting people where you just get excited from having a conversation about the intersection
of business investing in life was never something I considered possible.
And surely, not in person regardless of where they're based.
And it might be my cultural bias talking, but being a born-raised dane, you're constantly told
that money doesn't bind your happiness.
And the way this is typically proved, and I put proved in quotation marks, is by pointing
to one of the wealthy individuals in the country and then have someone saying, look, this guy died
from cancer or look, this guy got a divorce, it's likely because he liked money more than his
family. And I have to be honest, to me, it sounds like sour grapes. Sure, if you are unlucky
and get cancer, it may not be so that any amount of money can save us. But money still buys access
to better health care and improve your odds, everything else equal.
And speaking about divorces, 4% of all marriages end in divorce, and I know a lot of poor people
who got divorced, and money problems certainly didn't make their relationships any better.
And yes, 99, or whatever kind of high number of problems, does not go away because of money,
but some are just less bad if you do have money, and while you can say that about a certain
threshold, more money doesn't buy you extra happiness, it's sure.
has a power to remove many negative emotions. I once heard some say that rich people can spend a lot
of money suing each other which poor people just can't afford. And maybe that is true in some circles,
but from what I've experienced, the fiercest argument about money happened among those who don't have
enough of it. And whenever the adults in the household have healthy relationship with money and
enough flexibility to get what they want, well, money stops being a battlefield. And perhaps I have
the wrong data points or I lived too much in my own bubble. Perhaps I'd think differently
if I knew the top 10 wealthiest people in the world, who by definition are somewhat extreme.
But from what I've seen, a million dollars in annual income buys you more peace of mind than
$100,000, everything else equal. And this is not my way of saying that capitalism is fair
or anyone can just go out there and make a million dollars in annual income. I'll be the first
to say that the world is unfair. Luckily, sometimes it's unfair.
to your advantage. For example, many who listen to this podcast are great at allocating capital,
and it pays much better than saving lives as a nurse, and you even pay less in taxes. But frequently,
the world is unfair, and money surely doesn't make you happier on a straight line up until the right.
So let's also talk about some of the unwelcome surprises of growing wealth. And I know, I sound like
a jerk, and I certainly feel like one whenever I'm recording this. I really feel I can't win on this
one called Unwelcome Surprises of Growing Wealth. And honestly, I even considered not publishing
the episode because of it. If I didn't include the not so nice things about becoming wealthier,
you might rightly say that a sugarcoat having money and if I did include a segment about all
welcome surprises of growing wealth, you would rightly say that the problems I list aren't real
problems. And I don't really like to play games where I can only lose, but here we go, nonetheless.
So I mentioned this segment before that happiness is expectations minus results.
And when you imagine yourself with money, you typically imagine the one thing is getting better.
The car you can now drive, the watch you wear, or the vacation you can go on if you have
much more money, and then you assume that the rest of your life stays the same.
That is not how it works.
You get accustomed to things.
And let me give you an example.
The first time I flew business class, I felt like the king of the world.
the world. If I fly business today, I mainly think about how bored I am and whenever I would
arrive at my destination. And if the passenger sitting next to me is annoying, I get 10 times
annoyed because I pay for business and I pretend that annoying passengers should stay in economy,
though the reality might just be the opposite. And of course, these examples are anecdotal,
and more than anything, there are a microcosm of the unexpected so-called problems
you encounter as you become wealthier. So please take them more for the metaphorical point than the
actual example. Because how does someone dare complain about flying business class? If your problems
are small and then that's all you have, well, they artificially just inflate. Yes, the world is just
not that kind. Because your reality changes with money. And I was speaking with a friend the other
day and he happened to mention that he was middle class. And I had to call him out because
both him and his wife are very successful business people. And they have a combined total of
3,000 employees reporting to them.
But whenever I called him out, my friend looked at me and said, without blinking,
and he just came from a meeting with another friend who had 4,000 people reporting to him.
So he felt he was firmly in the middle class.
And it might seem like an extreme example and that my friend has no sense of reality.
But I do see it all the time.
We focus on what we don't have rather than what we do have.
And I don't know what the technical term is for this, and I'm sure there are some.
So I call this unique condition being human.
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All right. Back to the show. No one says the global average income is $10,000.
I work at Walmart as an associate making $40,000 a year. I have clean drinking water and
Wi-Fi. I made it. The point is, you get used to things. You look at what people around
you have, especially those who have more than you. And what used to look appealing is suddenly
in the new normal whenever you get there.
And then you want more.
People living on a dollar a day are so far removed
that you don't really feel a sense of gratitude
whenever you see it.
And you likely don't want to say that out loud.
I certainly don't, even though I just did it.
It's not really correct to do so.
But it's so much easier to look at your neighbor's bigger house
and feel envy that to feel gratitude
that you have clean drinking water and access to electricity.
And you might think that you would be happy moving into this new neighborhood
and never compare yourself to anyone again.
But after some time, most people will.
Remember my friend from before who felt like 3,000 employees were like being middle class.
He, and it doesn't surprise you, he lives in a very nice neighborhood.
And whenever he bought his car, his newest car, as you say, which was a slick porous
and the third car in the household, he didn't fail to mention that it wasn't a nice car
compared to the other cars in that's what he called middle class neighborhood.
and he didn't mention to me that, well, half of the world's population is living in less than
$10 a day, and that driving a car, any car should make us feel privileged.
And of course, I'm no better than my friend, though.
I never owned a car, but I'll be the first to say as much as I know that envy is the only
thing you can't have fun with, it's not a foreign feeling for me.
And I too have this unique condition called being human.
And I hesitate to bring up the next point.
If someone had complained about this 10 years ago, I would likely just have walked away from that person, and that is going to be my disclaimer.
Well, here we go, and you can decide if you want to turn off the episode if you haven't done so already.
I love the Godfather movies.
Well, not so much the third one, but honestly, that's story for another day.
But what really stayed with me was this small cultural detail warming into the narrative.
You know, early in the first film, there's this brilliant scene where Don Vito Collione sits
in his dark study while, one by one, people approach him asking for favors.
They come with problems, grievances, and requests for justice. All of it presented with deep respect
and the expectation that the dawn will help. And that moment isn't just cinematic flair. It's actually
rooted in real Sicilian tradition. On the day of a daughter's wedding, a Sicilian patriarch is expected
to be generous, gracious, and unable to refuse a request.
And turning someone away would be considered dishonorable, even unlucky.
So in that scene, it's not just neighbors and cradences showing up.
It's everyone who has ever needed something from the dawn, all waiting for the one day
he cannot say no.
It's such a subtle but perfect way to introduce who he is and how the entire community
depends on him.
And to me, that was such a cool scene.
You know, you sit there and you're this rich and powerful man.
You're able to say yes or no to people's request.
And then you realize when you have money, a lot of people are prospecting you and you end up saying, no, a lot.
And it turns out that it's a lot less fun to do that than what it looks like in the movies.
And you might be thinking if having money is hard because you have to say no all the time,
but being employee who cannot afford to say no, it's also hard, isn't it just a lot of
question of choosing your heart? Sort of. And yes, your point is well taken, and I do know that I
probably shouldn't complain about this. All of that being said, let's go back to the scene of the
Godfather. What struck me the most in that scene is in a way, it's really not about money,
it's about obligation. The Don isn't just powerful because he's rich. He's powerful because everyone
around him believes he could or should owe them something. And that's the real weight he carries.
and it's the best, but it's also the worst thing that comes from growing wealth.
And it is a good reminder that in life, some of the most demanding responsibilities
comes from relationships and expectations.
But more about that later, for better for worse.
Because it does take me to my ninth reflection here,
which is about being useful in the best way you can.
Since I was a kid, my parents always taught me to do charity work.
And as a child, I didn't think too much about it.
I considered everything my parents told me at the time to be true.
I had to say then, in my preteen years, I've said to say that I felt it was a little embarrassing.
You know, I was in this material phase.
Perhaps I still am.
I don't know, but I remember being fascinated by expensive things.
And I felt it was weird to ask people for money and then give that money to someone else.
And I vividly remember my mother having this, what to me was a magical car.
that let her get anything she wanted.
And I was just flabbergasted why she just wouldn't buy anything I wanted or give that money
to the port instead of doing charity work.
And of course, it turned out that the so-called magical card was just a regular credit
card and, well, it was just around the time when everyone stopped using cash.
But anyways, it seemed quite magical at the time.
But it wasn't until I was 20 that I started doing charity work on my own.
And perhaps it was because of my parents' influence.
I'm not sure, but I volunteered in the local refugee organization.
And looking back, I don't really know if I added any value to the refugees.
I had very low practical skills and even fewer social skills.
And we helped them with a variety of things.
One was to teach them how to read and write Danish.
And another was to teach them how to ride a bike.
And you might be thinking, why would anyone learn how to ride a bike?
Well, partly riding a bike is how you get around here, but then there's also a lot of odd
jobs you can take on if your skill set isn't matched too well with the labor market, and you
also don't speak the local language.
So it's actually a very, very useful skill here.
So I was literally running around with an adult on a bike and then having a broom at the back
to make sure they didn't crash.
And it was a brand new world opening up because at the time, I didn't think of myself as
privilege at all, even though my parents told me that we were. I felt like we were just like everyone
else in the neighborhood wherever I grew up. But really, working with refugees put everything into
perspective. So despite feeling like I was a broke student, I probably shouldn't complain.
I was making a decent living, playing poker outside of my studies. And this happened to coincide
with the charity work. And of course, in the beginning, I felt like the man, you know, being able to
make money in poker. But slowly,
but also surely, spending my time helping others gave me much more purpose than, well,
taking other people's money for a living. And yes, I know what you're thinking. Go figure.
Volunteering was a powerful experience. And being useful, especially for those less unfortunate than
ourselves, may be an option. I have systematically giving away money for the last 18 years.
and you might think that by now I would know how to do it and do it in a good way.
And today I honestly think I still do it poorly, but perhaps less poorly than what I used to.
And I wanted to share a few reflections with you.
One thing is to do charity for those less unfortunate than yourself.
That is no easy task, but ironically I found it even harder to give money to those who have enough,
but just not as much as you do.
As you grow older and you can donate large of sums of money, you may feel compelled to help
loved ones.
Perhaps they're friends or family.
And, you know, a child who is 18 years old may on paper be broke, but if they're born
into a top 1% family, are they truly broke?
How do you teach that child to be resilient, but at the same time always wanted to give
your child enough to do anything but not enough to do nothing?
And I have to say that answering that is surely about my pay-grac.
but I do have some experience helping friends with money and it's both giving me a lot of purpose
and a few headaches too.
One approach to take is to never put a dollar between you and a friend.
And if that is your approach, I don't fault you for it.
I sometimes wish that that was the road that I had taken and it showed it would have made
my life simpler in many ways.
At the same time, helping friends make the dream come true.
It's just been a wonderful experience and I would, with no hesitation, do it again.
And if you have chosen to listen to this podcast, you may be more privileged that you think
you are at first glance.
For starters, you likely don't have friends whose unattainable dream is to feed their
family and not live on the streets.
Perhaps your friends want to start a business or perhaps buy the dream home.
With most things in life, you don't only get the upside and this is no different.
things may change in your relationship and some of it not for the better.
Whether that change in your relationship outweighs the joy you give the other person by helping
them, I leave up to you.
Because I was well aware of the potential trap I was walking into when I lent money
to friends.
And I found a few techniques to counter that.
The first thing is to let your friends say face.
And depending on your dynamic, you can sign a loan document so it doesn't look like charity
but a true business transaction.
And it might seem odd, especially if you like me, you know you're never going to see that
money again.
But remember, you're not doing it for you, you're doing it for your friend.
And also remember, there is a selection process where people who need to borrow money
from you are, well, typically not good with money in the first place.
And then the next thing to do is to mentally accept that this is money you will never see again.
And if some of the money gets back to you, you have already made an agreement with yourself
that the entirety of that money will be donated to charity.
And so this also implies that if your friend feels bad about not paying you back, you can
tell them that the investment just didn't work out and you experienced that multiple times
in the stock market, which is likely also true even the best intentions and expectations.
And of course, as you listen to this, I'm almost sure that many of you are not feeling rich.
You might feel like you don't have enough money for yourself and certainly can't afford to donate money.
And I don't know your circumstances and you might very well be right.
What I would encourage you to do is to be useful to others.
Give an hour away or dollar away to someone in need and see how it feels.
You might get an unexpected happiness boost and want to do it again.
And of course you might find it to be a waste of time and money.
And that is okay too.
But you should get nothing out of this episode.
that is the one takeaway.
If you do decide to give it a try and don't get this happiness boost,
perhaps you can be useful in a different way.
You know, I can't help but share this reflection.
I used to solely give away money in my own name,
and at the time I simply couldn't fathom why anyone would give away money anonymously.
And it doesn't reflect well in me,
but getting the praise and seeing my name as a donor
just meant more than what I cared to admit at the time.
Now, today my wife and I donate money anonymously, and we have taken more joy in doing that,
which I would have never expected.
And another thing I have surprisingly found to be very useful is donating money in someone else's name,
even though I also have to say it took me a long time to get around to it.
And I don't pretend that there is no selfless good deed.
And then at the same time, why shouldn't you feel good about helping others?
You know, if you give a homeless person a love of bread, it doesn't matter to him.
whether you're happier or sad when you do it.
And if you're happy, it makes you want to do it again,
it seems like everyone wins.
And it takes me to the 10th and final reflection
I want to share with you.
And I call it the journey is the best part.
I can easily understand
if someone is sitting out there thinking
that I'm prostitizing for telling you to give away money.
And that is not my intention.
Now, I've read that I'm still reading a lot of books about happiness
and while there are some coming themes,
as you might imagine,
there's also a lot of different advice that's very much tied to each author's own values.
Many books would tell you to travel or spend time on your loved ones.
Very few people will tell you that material processions will make you happy.
And there's certainly an element of truth to that.
Happiness doesn't lie in possessions, at least not above a certain level.
But if you subscribe to the idea that people are driven by incentives and authors like to sell books,
how many authors writing about happiness
would tell you to buy stuff you can't afford.
All books will tell you not to buy a fancy car
and spend time with your family
because that is what you're supposed to do.
And I buy an enlarged sympathize with that,
but I also wholeheartedly disagree with that.
Now, I have friends who love fancy cars.
They would go to different fairs to check them out
and sometimes they would buy all the cars and fix them.
and I sometimes think they would make a bugger too, but it's close to nothing in the grand
scheme of things.
And it's certainly not worth her time if they truly did it for the money.
They just love cars.
And then I have another friend.
She has the best personality that you will ever meet.
I've never heard anyone ever say anything negative about her.
And the only reasonable complaint that could make is that there's only one of her.
I truly believe that the world would be at a better place if she could be cloned.
And this wonderful friend cut ties with her father years ago.
What can I say?
He was a terrible person and I couldn't agree more with her decision.
And on my end, no, I never owned a car and I couldn't find nice of people than my parents.
But I would also be the first to cut ties with them if they weren't nice.
And I would also be the first to say if owning a Ferrari makes me happier than giving away
my name to charities, I would probably buy Ferrari any day.
and I'm sure someone out there made the trade off and is perfectly happy with that.
The more I study happiness in history books, the less I'm sure of how many universal
truth there are about money and happiness. We are such a product of our time and it's
hard to see the forest for the trees. Experiences are supposedly making us happier than
things. Well, the king of Egypt didn't travel to Babylonia to enjoy the view and perhaps
you thought traveling wouldn't make him happy or perhaps he didn't.
You know, I once heard a criticism about consumerism that said something along the lines of
we all buy things we don't need to impress people we don't like.
And that's probably true.
And it's certainly not something I encourage you to lead into.
At the same time, I like nice stuff.
And perhaps society has tricked me into believing that I'd like things I don't really like.
perhaps I'm fooling myself.
I don't really think about it in those terms.
You know, sometimes nice stuff is, well, nice.
And sometimes it makes me, well, happier having nice stuff that not having it.
And believe me, I tried both and I know what I prefer.
But of course, that said, I never believed in the idea that the one with the most toys would
win.
On the contrary, I've always had a deep respect for monks who chose to live without possessions
and their pursuit of enlightenment.
But to me, not owning anything nice
seemed like a terrible, sad way to live your life.
And not in a way that a monk isn't living a good life,
but because we're all different and just want different things.
So for me, proselytizing about money, life and happiness
is exactly what I want to avoid.
Much of what works for me likely won't work for you and vice versa.
And that is absolutely terrific.
That is the premise of this episode.
And with that said, there is one thing I feel strongly about sharing.
And I hope you take a moment to reflect on it.
Whatever you choose to do with your money to increase your happiness, make sure that the journey is the best part.
Thanks for listening to TIP.
Follow We Study Billionaires on your favorite podcast app and visit the Investorspodcast.com for show notes and educational resources.
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